#she accepted that a loooong time ago

[gottalovetumbler]

MatchMaker.com? What could go wrong?

Drabble time 🎺

Info: fem!reader, marriage?, cussing, sugar daddy age-gap

Hope y’all enjoy!

———————

- You and Macy probably shoulda stopped drinking. You really shouldn’t have even started drinking 3 hours ago. But you REALLY shouldn’t have stopped before you did something stupid*

-*something stupid = MatchMaker.com/MFAW aka MatchMaker.com/MarriageFromAroundtheWorld

- ‘Come-on it’ll be fun!’ she said ‘It’s like gambling but without the money and a lot more risk!’ she said as if that sounds like fun at all

‘That doesn’t sound very fun.’ Exactly

‘It is, all you have to do is put in your info, what gender you’re looking for, sign the waiver and hit the red button. The only risk is that if when you hit the button someone else in the world hits it at the exact same time then it legally marries you and to separate you’ll have to properly divorce and all that shit. But what are the chances someone hits it at the same time as you, like really, one in quadrillion maybe?

-‘Maybe one in quadrillion,’ she said ‘absolutely no way someone hits the red button at the same time as you,’ she assured ‘This website is like 6 years old and isn’t even trending right now, we’re definitely the only ones on it.’ she promised.

- Well if it’s such a small chance and such an unpopular website, why the fuck were you staring at a fresh off the press and printable marriage certificate.

-You glance over at your friend and see she’s pale as a ghost, whether that’s from the 3rd vodka cranberry she just downed or from the fact that she just fucked you, you weren’t sure.

-Before you could ask you were shot a quick thumbs up accompanied by a, ‘congrats! Hopefully he’s hot!’ As Macy bolted out the front door and slammed it behind her.

-Maybe this is a dream you thought, I’m a 19 year old college student who’s just drunk off her ass in her apartment dreaming all of this right now. Which to be fair, wasn’t too far of a stretch since this was the first time you truly drank an alcoholic anything.

- Waking up 3 hours ago quickly snuffed out that hope as you’ve now been sitting on your couch, for about 2 hours, going through every FAQ the damn website has to see if there’s a way out.

- The only true answer would be that a marriage can only successfully terminated without needing a divorce if the people were somehow blood related. That was all. Only if it was your brother, sister, mother, grandpa, cousin etc, would your marriage be null and void. It actually wouldn’t even go through in the first place, there are systems set up to catch stuff like that and not even let it get close to happening.

- So after a good (very good and loooong) cry you look at the marriage certificate closer. You don’t accept it yet, you can’t accept it yet. It’ll take about a week for what just happened to fully hit your brain and when that happens you’ll probably have the worst panic attack of your life. But before that happens, might as well take a look at your new husband.

- And well shit again, they really weren’t kidding when they said MarriageAroundtheWorld. Seeing as your new hubby is located all the way in the grand county of England, doesn’t specify where he’s from, just that he works in England.

- With a some more scrolling and page skimming of his info you figure out he’s at least (didn’t even put his exact age (what a pussy)) 25 and in the military.

- Everything else is empty, of course.

———————

[stashandtell]

Nobody Asked For This: My Rankings of the Hermione x Weasley Ships with REASONS

I drafted this weeks ago and had set it aside with no clear plan to publish it. Then, after a stroke of 2 AM genius this morning, I wrote a piece called Ranking the Weasleys, (to be posted on 19 Sept 2024 in honor of Hermione's birthday) and it seemed like a great time to finalize this post and share it. Feel free to tell me your rankings in the comments, be it your list of the fittest Weasley as you find them or your ranked-list of pairings with Weasleys, whatever you fancy to share. Enjoy! - - - - I made a loooong post with recs for each of my top Hermione/Weasley ships that you can check out here. Read Ranking the Weasleys or see the related post where I talk about writing Ranking the Weasleys and I share just a few initial thoughts on the fetishization of war wounds in the fandom here. - - - - I've recently dove into the world of Hermione x Any-Of-The-Weasley-Brothers pairings, which is what happens when you're burnt out on the regular ships you read and looking for something more. Personally, I'm surprised I gravitate towards so many Hermione-focused pairings, especially het pairings, but that's just what I've been into lately. I hadn't considered pairings with her and any of the Weasleys until someone recommended Charmione fics in a thread for Theomione. Once I dug into the fandom's characterizations of the Weasley brood and had a better sense of who each of them were on their own, I found I really like many of these ships, some more than others. The rankings of my top-three rotate pretty regularly depending on the last great fic I've devoured. This is a snapshot of where things stand today but it could move around. Before we dive in, I've preview my rankings and the major themes of the pairings in the most popular fics shipping Hermione with a Weasley. 1. Bill: Wolf-ish Daddy 2. Fred: Uplifting, Fun, and Romantic 3. Charlie: Sexy and Rugged 4. George: Growing Through Grief 5. Percy: Acceptance of Self, Also Rules Daddy 6. Ginny: A Firecracker and a Friend 7. Ron: Angsty Best Friends-to-Lovers 8. Gideon or Fabian: Time Travel AU or Ghost Lover(s) 9. Arthur or Molly: I haven't read these ships so they're going in the bottom of the list. I'm not opposed to reading these pairings but there's already such a trove with all the brothers in my tbr list that I'm not sure I'll ever dive in. 10. Weasley Progeny: I haven't read any of these ships. I have not read many pairings that include anyone dating their friends' kid in the next generation. (Though I have read a small number of fics pairing characters like Hermione or Ginny with older characters like Kingsley or Sirius...shoutout to the older/younger Nottcissa ship.) 11. Aunt Murial: Technically she's a Prewett but I think I would be into a Murmione ship if we got there. So far nothing comes up on AO3. - - - - 1. Billmione: What I love about a Hermione x Bill dynamic is his position as oldest-sibling and caretaker. If the author has resolved the relationship with Fleur as one that has ended in divorce or death, that extra element of emotional tenderness really can push the story to complex depths. I also find it interesting to see how writers engage with Bill's hybrid/half-werewolf affliction. I'm hard-pressed to really fall in love with any Billmione fic where their relationship starts pre-Battle of Hogwarts, though I do get it. I personally enjoy stories that can be canon compliant so I want to see how the Fleur issue is handled. I also find that with such a significant age-gap for that developmental stage of teenager-dom, (not like Fleur was THAT much older than Hermione but still...), it's incredibly rewarding to see an older Hermione that brings some kind of life experience to the relationship so she can be more equal with Bill.

In some of the fics, especially a few of the multi-Weasley, reverse-harem style pieces I've finally started reading, Bill's older-brother position and wolfy streak create the core dynamic of the group.

I'm not the biggest fan of the multi-Weasley pairings with Hermione but what I loved most in the standout fics are the group dynamics and individual roles that come out. Hermione can be incredibly stubborn and independent on her own and it's always interesting when she's in opposition to Bill to see how the others in their relationship choose sides.

- - - - 2. Fremione: On it's face, I don't even know if I like this ship all that much but I keep finding myself suckered in. I suspect a big part of it is that it hits me in the sentimental feels. My inner-teen just loves a Hermione x Fred story that traces their young love to whatever conclusion the author brings it to. Even if they get together when they're older and Fred lives through the final battle, they both usually end up with a friends-to-lovers scenario that's full of light sweetness and sometimes romance.

There are some truly fantastic works in this ship and I go 50/50 on whether I prefer ones where Fred lives or not. Depends on my mood and the tone of the story I suppose. There are very few stories in this pairing that I haven't enjoyed and the element of pranking really can make shorter fics fun.

I REALLY enjoy past Hermione/Fred relationships being included in fics where she looks back on their love fondly while she navigates new relationships, sometimes with one of his brothers. Fred is often portrayed as a goof, which seems to encourage authors to consistently write a more engaging and dynamic version of Hermione instead of following some of the fanon's (beloved by me as well) personality tropes/traps of her being insecure, slow-to-assert-herself, angry-broken-or-both and etc. His character brings out some of her best qualities consistently across fics, imo.

- - - - 3. Charmione: I quickly realized when I started reading Charmione fanfics that I do not give a shit about dragons but deeply wish I did. It's a cool plot device and part of the world to hang out with but it's not for me. Tons of appreciation for writers who have thoughtful plot lines and research interesting medical maladies-- but it's hard to hold my interest. (A million kudos when a dragon-centered fic does though!) The Reserve is usually full of original characters, which is fine, but I find myself less invested in the story if we don't know much about these OCs to build out that world.

I often find in the dragon-reserve heavy pieces that I was getting part-way through were objectively GOOD multi-chapters but I kept stalling out in favor of reading something else. Usually whenever there's a Hermione that ends up at the dragon Reserve, she's characterized by her unyielding passions for creatures' rights, spurred on by house elf and werewolf activism. Those are interesting characterizations for her but they just don't keep my attention. That said, I have yet, to date DNF'd any Charmione work so clearly it's not a huge imposition. That said, Charmione is in the top third because there's so much that can be done with this character. I've read a number of fics where Charlie is ace (asexual, demisexual, etc.); where's he's inexperienced because he's married to his job; where he's "too free-spirited" and very experienced; where he's enthusiastically bisexual; where he's not interested in marriage; where he's pining over Tonks; and so much more. His sporadic attendance at family holidays and the ability for Hermione or others to visit him on the Reserve lends to great plot opportunities.

- - - - 4. Geormione: I haven't been around long enough to fully understand why Fremione is a more popular ship than Geormione, but here are some observations: - Fred is portrayed in the fandom as the more loveable, airy goof while George tends to be painted as the more serious and quiet of the two - Generally, in the canon, Fred speaks more than George, from what I've been seeing, as I notate up my secondhand copies of the books - Fred's death or, depending on the fic, brush-with-death, is ripe for the reimagining of his relationships and personality - According to internet gossip, Hermione with Fred were considered for pairing in the canon originally but it didn't suit the overall plans for the series. Source for this can not be verified but it's come up in multiple places. I believe this contributes to the numbers: Fremione has 2182 works and Geormione has 548 works on AO3, as I draft this. All that said, George is usually characterized as the quieter and possibly more serious twin. He might be more shy than the outgoing Fred. Post-war, he often mourns the loss of his twin brother, his best friend, and his sense of himself as part of the pair which can, frankly, be kind of a drag if a writer is looking for a pairing to write a hot romance about. (Not that people can't be sexy or have healthy sexual relationships while grieving!) However, when works take the journey to establish Hermione and George, it's often incredibly rewarding. It tends to feel like Fremione with the temperature turned down on the lightness and has the ability to go deeper into any darkness that needs to be explored. I do love a Geormione but there are statistically fewer works out there than some of the other pairings, thus it's earned it's spot mid-tier. - - - - 5. Permione: There's not much to say because there aren't that many longer fics with this pairing written and most times it's tied to a Hermione x Multi-Weasley scenario. This gets the 5th and some days I would rank it higher because there are worlds in which this is the actual correct pairing of all of the brothers, based on what we can surmise from the canon.

A swotty, uptight prefect-turned-Ministry drone with a regretful heart of gold, Percy's guilt over abandoning his family and Fred dying before him is well-matched for how many writers imagine Hermione's coping with the aftermath of the war. Hermione would have known him during some prime formative years and knows he'll date muggle-born or half-blood witches, a la Penelope Clearwater. It's easy to dismiss Percy as being "not fanciable" if you don't read this ship but some of the writers out there make a compelling case for him, particularly when they make a logical transition from his personal fastidiousness to him seeking to play with control and BDSM elements in his private affairs. I love a good Permione piece. He's often positioned as the conservative punching bag of the family and it's a thing of art when a writer makes us root hard for him.

- - - - 6. Herminny: I haven't much of anything in this pairing yet. Truthfully, I've been holding off on it because I'm sure I'll do a deep dive once I start. It shouldn't come as a surprise that I've read almost no Harmony works either. I love a F/F fic but tend to read in waves and I've been working my way through the Weasley brothers pairings (when I'm not refreshing for Nevmione and Theomione works.) If you have any excellent recs for Herminny or other pairings name, please drop me a line! The reason Herminny is above Romione is because I love many of the fanon characterizations of Ginny in all the other fics I've read, especially when she's mischievous, cheeky, in tune with her sexuality, and ready to take on her own adventures in the world. The ones I have read where she and Hermione have been together were lovely but most were very short fics in collections. - - - - 7. Romione: I read A LOT of Hermione-centered works and authors very often find a need to resolve the young romance with Ron or use him and their relationship as a catalyst that propels our heroine down a path into the arms of another man. I can honestly say that I have read ZERO Romione endgame fics to date, and that includes one shots AND drabbles (~100k words or less.) WILD, right?

I really enjoy angst and Ron is one of the punching bags most often leaned on by writers. One of these days, I'm going to go on a Romione bender as an offering of penance to his character for all of the times I rooted against him in every other fic.

- - - - 8. Lowest Tier: I have never read a Hermione x Molly nor an Hermione x Arthur fic, and while I'm not fundamentally opposed, I'd be flabbergasted to find either pairing beating Romione. I'd much sooner read an Arthur/Molly fic than one that ships either with Hermione because that's just where I'm at right now. I'm happy reading works that aren't smutty in any way but damn if some smut doesn't help along a work that really isn't capturing my interest. While I love when I see versions of Arthur and Molly who are loving friends and/or parental figures to Hermione, the angst-lover in me doesn't mind a solid bashing of either of them and it's hard to get that out of my head. As for the other possible pairs with Hermione and Gideon, Fabian, Murial, or the children of the other Weasleys, I'm just not well-read enough in any of those pairings to have an opinion. I literally only started reading Marauders-era works two weeks ago (and really ONLY well-known Wolfstar fics so far.) A Note About Fleur: One character who's excluded from this list is Fleur Weasley nee' Delacour. I've only read triad- or multi-Weasley fics that put Hermione with her and Bill. While I do love a Bill/Fleur/Hermione work, it seemed disingenuous to rank Fleurmione against the others with what little I've read. That and I'm so clearly jazzed about a Billmione where Bill's free-and-clear to be with whoever, that my ranking of Fleurmione would be heavily biased.

[conceptofjoy]

what do u think of dirk n hals Gender Situation given 10 or 20 years? if they ever finally settle down their various identity issues etc

......... great question..

dirk's masculine gender identity is fucking fascinating and there's always something new to consider when i look at it at a different angle. and i mean this also goes for bro too. like gender is a very complex thing in homestuck with many metaphors physical or thematical littered about. Dirk specific gender identifiers are lil cal (empty), being seen as cherry red (either failing at those standards or admired for achieving them), and bro-ism which in this instance is often interchanged with heroism.

canonically in caliborn's masterpiece, after dirk seals caliborn away into cal, and lets cal and arq go, homie has straight up lost all the signifiers he's identified with and is left in his pink god tier outfit. literally forced to reckon with the fact that he is a gay man, and how that actually may be way better than the alternative that he was trying so desperately to be seen as. idk there was a series of posts i made about it a month or so ago. this is like, the final realization dirk has in the comic. i mean i dunno about specifics of labels, but gay and genderqueer is like the basic all encompassing ones. to be honest most homestuck characters fall under this extremely broad category, as queerness is a huge underlying theme.

a dirk that doesn't immediately go through caliborn's masterpiece learns this the loooong way. cis guy-> trans guy (refuses to acknowledge this during the session but slowly gets it towards the end of 3 year voyage. will NOT say he is trans through his lips though.) and then shit just stagnates there. i think it depends on his environment, but 5+ years (depends on who he surrounds himself with. if its no one, he is COOKED.) is about the time needed to have those same revelations.

and then there's hal........ arq is one of them brightly colored gendersonas. like what swimz said, arq sacrificed her continued existence for her friends. i dont think arquius ever gave her gender a name because of how thoroughly she embodied it by her self love/ the joy she felt for being alive. it was already said by her existing. hal getting a body vs hal getting a body after being arquius r people who understand vastly different amounts of things about themselves.

a hal sans arq brain meld has a silent kind of depressive acceptance about them. yeah i got a body, things feel better, but it feels like there could be more i could be doing for myself right now, however do i really need it? umm sandpaper floor room esque. trying to figure out what to do with herself after getting less than the bare minimum of being a person. would take a bit to realize she can be a girl.

hal post arq brain meld. holy FUCKING shit i can feel like that?? suddenly no longer arquius's confident persona and is kind of freaking out about the various implications. there would be an amount of time where she falls into a depression, however tries to bring herself up back to that point because a part of her who was arquius knows she deserves it. she would over think the gender thing though, ok yes im a girl, BUUUTTT -etc etc-. almost for the same exact reasons why dirk is attached to those bro-isms. she was supposed to. red girl struggle. again, idk the specifics, gay and genderqueer is hella broad.

i do think hal is fem aligned and more confidently can call herself a girl over time, and dirk can finally wear pink without thinking about it and wanting to decapitate himself.

[cree-n-jewish-thoughts]

I was accepted into the best law school in the country, I refused after a long time of contemplation.

I see what lawyers sometimes can become, soulless, heartless monsters that only care for cash.

I wanted to be a public defender, and move my way up into a prosecution lawyer. I wanted to defend those who needed it.

But I couldn't do it... I knew what my debt would be and I couldn't do it, I especially did not want to lose my heart and soul.

When I talk about my debt, I want to tell you it's not about the actual debt, it's about being able to pay it off and still live life. When you become a lawyer, most try to get into criminal law literally just sometimes to pay off debt, but then they have gotten comfortable, and now need to maintain their lifestyle, so they must stay in criminal law (divorce is popular too).

It's hard, I would have had to take three years there, I would need a place to live, food to eat, tons of books professors don't even use... I would have been at the time I would have graduated with over $400,000 debt (this does not include my bachelors at a different uni, which I had partly paid off at the time)

That was a loooong time ago too...

Sometimes I tell my wife I regret not going to law school, and she always tells me "you can't put a dollar value on your soul". She knows me, she knows somewhat of that world...

This decision may not have been the best decision financially, but now I am working on becoming a Rabbi to help people, to support people, to show people love and compassion.

And my social worker career was as rewarding as it could be.

Sometimes you need to make the best decision for you, not your bank account.

(yes I'm very broke by the way)

[spidereggs888]

Miguel’s new secretary ooh-la-la

(lol /j 💀)

Miguel O’Hara & y/n, any gender or non gender. Very casual writing style. TW Dark humor, dangerous situations, 18+. Y/n are sorta attracted to Miguel (why else would you be here?) but he doesn’t know you lol

This is a loooong read so make sure you have time or something. Also, there’s an illustration in the middle of the chapter! Enjoy

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

MIGUEL & YOU

ACT 1 | ALGORITHMIC LOTTERY

It's the year 2110.

You are maneuvering through traffic in a sputtery fashion, the lifter problem in your engine getting so bad it almost sounds like you got rocks under the hood. The podcast is going on about alligators in Nueva York sewers.

“Couldn’t be more wrong,” you mumble, “there’s CROCODILES in the sewers, not alligators.”

You aren’t looking forward to this interview. How the heck did you manage an audition for office secretary to the CEO of Alchemax?!

“I don’t know,” you say aloud to your other self, “but if I get the job, Imma upgrade to a better ride than this heap of Maglev shit…”

But there’s other bitches who want this position. Two of them you are aware of: Syd and Brody. Syd is a real suck up who will say any damn thing to get the position. She out-groveled you and got the lead PR accounting job you wanted. Suck-up Syd is what you call her around your friends. Brody on the other hand is opposite; he thinks he can strong-arm his way into anything and he pretty much has. He’s kicked people down, screwed people over, and there’s a rumor he filed a sexual harassment charge on his friend Ashton just to get the promotion before Ashton could.

These two skanks are gonna be tricky, but that’s the least of why you loathe this whole thing. You also heard that Miguel O’Hara is a hard ass. When he came into power a few years ago, he immediately fired the former secretary for talking about his father in a positive light. Then he proceeded to chew and spit out people who ever had the misfortune of being in that job position.

“Or maybe they just cut their losses after raking in half a billion,” your friend Speshall guessed the last time you seen her, “they prolly couldn’t take the heat for that long so they waited until they were set for life then said something stupid on purpose to get him to let them go. What a retirement plan! To work for the sexiest man of the year then have him berate you on your way out!”

She was always like this.

Anyway, now your car is not being validated in the automated parking center.

“What the HELL?!”

“Sorry, your credit has been declined.”

“Oh fuck me-“

You fumble your lanyard of data sticks. You are looking for the green one, which has a small amount of credit you procured from test playing phone games. You lean out of your car window to bring the green stick drive near the wireless reader.

“Sorry, we cannot accept credit from online gambling. Please use another method of payment.”

“Oh fuck you!”

≋ ≋ ≋ ≋

Now you are walking. You had to park where they don’t give a shit about where your money is from. Alchemax is trying to create a good precedent by not accepting dirty money, but Alchemax, as far as you know, does dirtier stuff for pay. Why the hell is “gambling money” any different?!

Scowling so hard, you almost didn’t notice there’s some douchebag trying to walk close behind you. He probably saw the lanyard of data sticks around your neck, so you fluff your scarf around until they are covered.

“I don’t have any money, muh guy” you say in your heaviest Nueva York accent along with this generations lingo.

“Oh I’m not afta you. I was tryna tell ya there’s this otha weirdo following ya. I’m tryna group up here.”

You know better than to look back. That’s what this fucko wants you to do. He’s probably a flasher, so you walk into traffic.

“Hey that’s dangerous, yo!”

You don’t listen. Cars flying past is not as scary as going up to see the freakin CEO of Alchemax.

No cars hit you, so now you have to face reality. You walk into the Alchemax Business Bureau building (one of hundreds), and wave your ID at the receptionist in the lobby. The receptionist is preoccupied with a lady who has one hand on her hip and the other holding out a holo watch. It’s projecting a screen with a giant hourglass animation flipping over and over.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard to get a damn cup of coffee around here, I just don’t!”

“C’mon it’s not necessary to bring security here, ma’am.”

He remains standing behind his desk and grimaces at you. You really need to get him to validate your ID so you won’t be stopped by security, so you pull up your phone and say to the woman, “you want some coffee coupons for Dunkin Donuts?”

“What?”

You open your savings app and hastily air-swipe several coupons to her holo device like someone flicking bills at a stripper. She stops to look at them.

“A regular frap for half off? Oh woooow, how- will they really honor this?” She asks.

“Yeah! It’s good for two more days, so you may wanna hurry over to the kiosk at the west end.”

“Really?”

“They sell all brands of coffee, they’ll honor it.”

“Well, nevermind, then,” she says curtly to the receptionist as she turns her shoulder away, “Didn’t want hours-old coffee anyway.”

She turns on her fancy heel and trots away. You grin stupidly at the receptionist who rolls his eyes and snatches your ID card from you. He swipes it near his card reader then flicks it back without a word.

After a nod, you swiftly leave down the lobby to the elevator area. You round the corner and see an open elevator closing. It's the only one since the other two are under construction. You rush forward as fast as your legs will allow.

"Wait wait WAIT WAIT!"

The doors are closing and you see the face of Suck-up Syd with her smoky eyes and faux fur capelet. She smiles and does nothing as the doors close.

"Shocking typical," you grumble. But you know where the other elevator is. You take off to the other end of the building for the second set of elevators.

You make it onto the elevator with two other people, some white chick and an Indian dude. The lady sees your pass.

"Going for the secretary job?" She asks.

"Yeah."

“Me too. If I don’t get this, I’m going to jump from this building,” the lady jokes.

“If I get this, I WILL jump from this building,” you add.

“Either way, it's gonna be job security for the custodian department,” the Indian guy says. All three of you chuckle politely.

The elevator lets more people in. You check your phone. You are fucking late by 20 minutes, but so is the lady who wants this job or else. You assume it would have taken a while anyway, since there was about 15 people going in for this very same job. Could it be you?! Could you land this job?! What if your mom was wrong?! And what if O’Hara says yes? What if you are set for life?

The final floor of this elevator is reached. You wobble on your way out. The lady doesn’t move.

“Actually, I can’t do this. I’m going home.”

The elevator doors close and she goes back down. You hear a faint byeeeeeeeeeee as the elevator descends to lower levels. You pay no heed and follow the Indian man into the massive hall.

There’s already chaos. One guy is being escorted out of the lobby by his shirt collar, and he's spouting obscenities. Some lady had dropped all her paperwork and she’s too numb to pick it up again. Two ladies near her are sarcastically wishing each other luck, one of them is Suck-up Syd. She looks 10x more desperate today with her tight-fitting outfit and belt buckle the size of a plate. Her overly fake smile gives you no esteem or hope. You almost sit but realize there’s barf on the chair.

Okay, surely everyone is overreacting in here.

“Man I’m not scared at all. There’s a trick to facing down Alpha males,” says a guy who you didn’t ask.

“Ah, cool.” you say through a grin. It’s Brody. You don’t even have to see him to know he’s there with his overwhelming presence of snobbery.

“See, as a Sigma male,” he continues, leaning on the back of the barf chair to talk to you, “I don’t adhere to the Alpha’s orders. That’s how the pack survives! One guy is an outlier so like if the Alpha fails in his role as leader, the Sigma will show by example and the rest of the females and Betas will follow him-“

“BRODY!”

You and Brody see Ashton in the doorway you came from. Ashton beelines across the room with his briefcase raised high. He brings it down on Brody with a loud clunk and they grapple and exchange blows. You go ahead and sit down perfectly still.

"Oh my GOD!" Suck-up Syd muses. She only sees this as two less competitors. You wince as the men start yelling obscenities at each other in their struggle. The guards who took out the last guy come back in and see this happening and they both huff angrily.

"Next!"

"Ah, that's me!" Syd says, “you guys are welcome to leave, I probably got this in the bag.”

She gets up and thrusts her capelet onto the lobby assistant.

.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳ ˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.

Four hours pass. Brody and Ashton were escorted from the building, those bozos didn’t even get an interview, but it was funny watching Brody get dragged down to hell by a demon he wronged.

Suck-up Syd walked out in tears and a forced smile. You felt bad for making fun of her in the past. She’s just kinda desperate and a little pathetic. You assume groveling doesn't work on the boss.

Other people came and went swiftly. The cheerful Indian man from earlier left looking surprised at his failure. The lady who dropped all her crap earlier apparently already had an interview and was reeling from her bad luck. You understand their disappointment since being chosen for this position was like winning the lottery, except you don't know if you won or not.

“Next!”

Your stomach twists but you refuse to be like them. This is just a job. You’ll be answering phones, emails, and possibly even mailing some dry cleaning. No big fuckin deal.

You thank the lobby assistant but she ignores you and walks away. She is just doing her job. She looks very tired of everyone else’s shit and is probably glad it's over. You walk to the elevator where the second to last person is taking baby-steps, talking on his phone with someone nursing his wounded pride. That could be you in a minute.

I'm probably not gonna get it either, you think, but I'm going down with some dignity.

You work yourself up as you step into yet another elevator, this one glass paneled. You stare across Nueva York as you ascend, contemplating your future. So what if you don't make it? You will simply fall back to your job and go about your life. Your mom will say she's right about the invitation being a fluke. You will go back to paying off debts and supplementing your food budget by testing mobile phone games during work hours and before you go to sleep. You see your own reflection, no longer as young as you used to be, and you sigh.

The glass doors open behind you. You walk through another set of foggy glass doors. Despite your self pep talk, you are still not looking forward to this. You've seen pictures of Miguel O'Hara before; over 6 feet tall, wide shoulders that could support an ox yoke, and a presence so large one would think he could go toe to toe with Godzilla. How will the interview go? You imagine fire. You expect a demon sitting behind a black marble desk in the darkness, a horrendous mob boss wearing Scarface attire, spitting fiery facts and passing cruel judgment, his horns ascending at the heavens with searing indifference and contempt for mercy. You expect a fax machine in the corner that will print out your death.

This is not what you see.

There he is, in this meager temp office sitting behind a tiny desk covered in empty water bottles. His shoulders are wider than the desk, but he's scrunching them in to seem normal. He's wearing a regular dress shirt, no tie. No fancy jewelry either, just some off-brand oversized watch on his left wrist. He looks disappointed already, but not at you. He’s squinting down at some of the tiny desks’ interactive holo-projections. You see your name on one of the files he’s peering at through comically large anti glare glasses.

You don’t sit. You are too stressed. He hasn’t noticed you. He picks up one of the water bottles and carefully opens it with his monster hands. They look travel-sized compared to him. He sips it and notices you.

“Hello!” You greet.

He finishes it in two gulps and sets it down slowly, as to not disturb the other bottles.

“Okay I don’t have a lot of time left, so let’s cut through here… you work for the guys in the PR department-“

“Ah yeah, they are a very friendly bunch down there! That is until you get to know them!” You blurt out. He looks up at you with tired eyes and swipes through the files without looking at them.

“Says here you were demoted from vice head PR accounting a while back, but you attached a note saying you have an alibi? Let’s hear it.”

“Uhhh.”

“C’mon I don’t have all day.”

“There was a payment discrepancy, uh, I was given a raise but I noticed my boss didn’t update it for a whole month. He was on vacation and wasn't answering my calls, so... since he left the finances to me I updated it myself… And I got into trouble BUT it was technically not embezzlement, so I was given an ultimatum to either move to a lower department or get fired, so-“

“Self-reliant. Got it. There's a note from your current department head saying she's been notified anonymously that you've been paying for Alchemax home services with gambling money, what do you have to say about that?"

"I- that is a th- thing with SoloGameMedia, ah, they are a parent company to a gambling franchise, therefore every transaction from them is registered as gambling profit- but I test games with- from them directly! It's a side hustle- thing, I- that, I DO NOT playtest games during work hours! Only on-"

"Why do you think I should hire you?”

You are caught off guard by the most basic interview question.

“Hhhhhh WELL… because you need a secretary now?”

He’s already looking back down at the files again. You can see NYPD files, apparently he’s now looking at your small criminal record. You also notice his shirt is unbuttoned on the top. For curiosity's sake, you discreetly raise up on your toes to see down his cleavage. It's deeper than you expected. One mighty flex and that shirt will send buttons flying everywhere. He looks back up as you quickly drop back down on your heels.

“Yeah. Mmm. Ok. So you are way in over your head in college and credit debt, you have been gambling as a means to get by- really don’t care about that, and you did not dispute your boss's ultimatum when you had the chance."

"Wait, what?"

"Four years ago, when your boss gave you the ultimatum to get demoted or get fired. His proposal was ILLEGAL."

Your gut twists.

"That- that was illegal?!"

"You had six months to report him and you didn't. Why?"

"Be- because I just thought he was being fair, I-"

"I'm sorry, but you got screwed."

He looks sincere behind those nerdy lenses with his pout lips. You really want to throw something right now.

“I… oh…”

"Look, the most I can do is re-open your case," he says as he pushes his glasses back up his nose bridge, "You might get a small settlement out of it, but even that isn't guaranteed."

"So... I'm not getting the job?"

"How do you expect to get hired with such an unexceptional history of white collar crime and a meek attitude that's gotten you nowhere? Hey Lyla? Is this all we have?”

An AI assistant pops up from the interactive desk.

“This is the last one, sir.”

“Okay, cool. Look I’m sure you’re actually great at your job, but I have places to be-“

“Wha- well so do I!”

“Uh huh, nice talking to you,“ he scoots his chair back and hits his knee on the tiny desk, sending empty bottles scattering all over the room. He cringes.

“Well if I’m so unexceptional, why was I accepted for an interview?!”

“I’m gonna guess because of some algorithmic lottery? Probably to do with the amount of experience you have in your department, I dunno,” He guesses as he attempts to gather the bottles by sweeping them under the desk with his shoes, “If you wanna blame someone for the short interview time, thank those other time-wasters who came before you. I gotta go.”

“Now WAIT a… minute”

He stands up from his tiny desk as you say that. He’s towering over you with a tired expression and loose strands of hair about his face.

“What?” He asks, all friendliness gone.

“Can we continue this interview at a different time? You obviously haven’t found a secretary you want, but you still need one, right?! I could be the one you need even if I’m not the one you want!”

It takes every inch of your being to not slap yourself on the forehead. He is scrunching his nose, squinting down at you with mild contempt. You get a good look at his sharp, broad temples and cheekbones, complete with a hardened jaw. His thick dark lips are pulled to one side in annoyance and are accentuated with a pair of jowls that look poised to bite at any time like some kind of deep sea angler fish. His eyes are very dark. They almost look red…

His expression goes blank as he sighs.

“Okay.”

“Great! Ah, when?!”

“Tomorrow, same time.”

“Grabsolutely- Great- fantastic! I won’t let you down!”

“Uh huh.”

He leaves. You assume you should leave too. You awkwardly follow him. He grabs his coat off a nearby chair, and you get a brief display of his amazing body shape as he flips the coat over his shoulders. You avert your attention to the floor, already feeling disrespectful after having looked down his shirt. Now you are both in the elevator. You are doing all in your power not to pass out over your small lucky break.

O’Hara pretends you aren’t there as he looks at his phone and chats with his AI assistant.

“Lyla, push the evening meeting to tomorrow as well, except an hour earlier.”

“Roger that!”

“I need coffee.”

“Roger that also!”

“Please, PLEASE tell them to not add cream. I really hate when they do that.”

You wanna ask him if he’s lactose intolerant but you already pushed your luck today.

Apparently he is exiting the building in the same way you are going, but he's booking it with long ass strides and it's difficult to keep up. You both end up on the same elevator again, this time with other people. He awkwardly acknowledges you with a blank smirk and brow raise, then promptly looks back down at his phone. Everyone else is trying not to bother him.

"Hello, Mister O'Hara, I didn't realize you were here! Hi!" says a lady who is shooting her shot at a social connection (she totally knew he was there.)

"Ah, hey. Miss...?"

"Stacy Brian! We met at the Student Festival earlier this year."

"Oh, right, right! Miss Brian, how are you?"

"Doing well! I didn’t know you wore glasses!"

"Oh- I totally forgot these were on my face," he admits while taking them off and trying to find a place to stash them, "I actually don’t wear glasses, it's- um, I have issues with bright computer screens."

You discreetly watch him in the elevator wall reflection as he quickly swaps the lenses out for a pair of red sunglasses. The elevator doors open and everyone flows out into the foyer. You realize you never got his card.

"Hey one more thing, sir!" You call out to him.

"What?"

"I don't have your number! What if we need to reschedule?!"

"Ah, right. Get your phone out, please."

He turns back around and searches for something on his phone. With a swift flick of his hand, he air drops his ID and number to your device.

"Thank you!"

"¡De nada!"

He swiftly leaves through the front doors and trots down the steps. You watch this huge marvel of nature hail a cab. The automated transporter car is so small that he has to bring his shoulders in tight to fit through the doorway. This seems to have more to do with him not wanting to snag his nice jacket.

A man of this position and wealth... hailing a cab? Must be in THAT much of a hurry. You look down at the data he sent you. His ID photo looks like they took his picture after pulling an all-nighter, and his half-hearted smile reveals his crooked teeth. But somehow he still looks great in an unconventional way.

•°《💀》°•

You drive home, feeling both anxious and also deflated. Miguel O'Hara was a mixed bag of what you expected. Speshall hyped him up as a sexy hunk of the year and Brody felt so intimidated that he went on an unwarranted Alpha Male rant, but the guy was so awkward with his tiny desk and water bottles and weird glasses, and he was whining to his AI helper about his coffee. He’s a large… finicky… lactose-intolerant nerd, but he's also got the moxy to move mountains. What’s more, now ya gotta think of what to say to him in the next interview. What could be expected of a guy like that? What if he cancels the meeting and your chance is lost forever?

Your car makes it home and you sit in it for a moment. Speshall left you a text asking about the interview.

Went weird, you text back.

"Welcome back, tenant 27," the AI apartment valet greets.

You open your car door and notice you've been parked over the grates again. You remember when you last dropped your phone in this spot, the fucking thing went right in between the grate holes and you couldn’t get it back for a week. You have the presence of mind to upload the latest bit of information (O'Hara's phone number) to your data cloud.

You walk through the parking garage. You know all the safe routes. It didn’t matter who you were, Nueva York was never safe at night.

You hear footsteps to your left but it’s just a couple of people walking together, a man and woman trying to huddle. The garage opening is just ahead. You go ahead and march out, not looking back.

You step out into the warm breeze of middle-class Nueva York. The wind is artificial, billowing from the hydro-electric plants that keeps this city running. It took you forever to get here, a lot of cheap-skating, white lies, and debt piling to maintain this life, but you are here! Unapologetic holo screens buzz near you as you walk, begging you to spend money as they light up the way to your apartment. There's no point in tapping their "no" buttons since that just wastes your time. The screens showcased brand-new cars, beautiful clothes, and radiant health. If you had more money, at least some of that could be yours. You hate that people roll around in all the wonderful things this world has to offer while you have to make do with decade old clothing and over-processed food. Where the hell is everyone getting it all from? When the hell will you get yours?

“Hey! Wanna buy a shared data cloud?!”

You are now being bothered by a salesman. You say nothing and keep walking. Even saying no opens more dialogue. He gives up but another comes at you.

“Wanna be a part of the elite task force that edits any and all articles about Thor?! It’s a paying job! $100 an hour!”

As dystopian as it sounds, $100 an hour won’t get you far in Nueva York, not in this era of quadrillionaires.

“Hey, I saw ya on da street earlier! Ya walked into traffic!”

You accidentally glance over at the familiar voice talking about the familiar subject. He’s got you. Your eyes are fixated on a creepypasta face, his irises flashing in a hypnotic pattern. This was way worse than the idea of the guy being just a flasher.

He’s a black market demon. The worst street hawker known to man.

You can’t remember much else besides him taking you by the hand and leading you away.

_________________________________________

Next: ACT 2 | BLACK MARKET DEMONS

[flurrys-creativity]

Internecine

internecine (adj.) - mutually destructive

Pairing: Johnny Suh (NCT) x GN!Reader; Genre: SpyxFamily AU, Secret Agent AU, Crime AU, Romance, Angst; Rating: sfw, pg-15; Warnings: mentions of a secret agency, use of codenames, yelling, losing a kid, mentions of a hostage situation, fighting, bad dogs, more fighting, police, a kiss; Wordcount: 2.704

Summary: A spy was supposed to stay unattached, yet Johnny had to get a family for his mission. When his fake wife called in tears, Johnny immediately rushed to her aid. Though he would never admit his attachment to her. Of course.

A/N: Sooooo over a year ago @mingsolo​ @daemour and I talked about idols fitting the Loyd Forger role and somehow we all agreed on writing each our suggestions with a fitting situation based on Spy x Family. I know @mingsolo​ waited a loooong time for us to finish and I honestly don’t know where the inspiration suddenly came from but boom, here we are!

“Midnight! Are you even listening?” 

Johnny flinched from the booming voice addressing him. He turned his attention back to the boss of the organisation, looking at him with expectant eyes as if he didn’t just drift off with his thoughts. 

But how couldn’t he? Ari had made incredible progress at school, even more than Johnny had hoped for and when they celebrated it at home Mark gave her the ridiculous idea that she wanted a pet.

Johnny sighed internally, remembering how he barely even tried to tell her no. As soon as the water works started, he just couldn’t do anything about it. So he reluctantly agreed, letting Ari go to the adoption fair with you.

Now he couldn’t think of anything else. At first Johnny thought this would be the perfect time for him to update the organisation about his mission but instead of listening to the new intel he was supposed to receive, he only thought about you and Ari instead.

Ari had already been the target of some thugs before and other bad guys had seen your face when you two met for that date. 

A small smile spread over his lips, remembering how he mixed up missions and introduced himself as your husband instead of your boyfriend. You had played along so easily, making the scene a whole lot less awkward. 

Even though Johnny knew you were able to defend yourself it was something totally different with a six year old in tow. He remembered how limited his own movements got when he had to rescue Ari once.

“Midnight! I am talking to you!”

Johnny’s eyes widened, surprised he drifted off with his thoughts yet again. This wasn’t like him. What was it about you that made him lose his mind on an almost daily basis? 

Sure, he and the success of his mission most importantly were dependent on you two. Without you his mission would fail but more often than not Johnny had started to wonder whether his thoughts were more than just because of the success.  He caught himself doing things for Ari or you that had nothing to do with the mission. Things that wouldn’t even work towards the success of it and yet he still did them.

Like carrying Ari to bed, covering your sleeping form with a blanket. Johnny stopped trying to carry you as well after he learned you were a light sleeper and always tried to attack him whenever he picked you up. Unless you had something to drink. You quickly got tipsy, which was quite adorable in his opinion, and got even slightly dangerous when drunk, but as soon as you got knocked out from the alcohol you slept like a baby.

His supervisor was about to yell at him again when his phone started to ring loudly.

Johnny lurched forward and grabbed his phone, accepting the call as soon as he saw your ID on the screen. “Y/N? Hey!” Without even noticing Johnny clutched the edge of the table until his knuckles turned white, staring off into the distance with wide eyes as he impatiently waited for you to say something. Adrenaline rushed through his system from the building worry inside his stomach. Which made it even harder for him to hear anything besides his own rapid heartbeat.

“I’m so sorry”,  you hiccuped, “we were looking at some snakes together but when I turned around Ari was suddenly gone. I can’t find her.”

“I’m on my way!” Johnny snatched his stuff from the table and rushed out of the room, ignoring the calls behind him and the weird stares he received. All he could focus on was getting to you as fast as possible.

You heard the shouts on the other end of the call, followed by the echo of quick steps and Johnny trying to talk to you while breathing heavily. You then heard the beep of an unlocking car and the slam of a door, before the soft rumble of the engine filled your ear. 

“What if she ran outside?” 

Johnny barely heard your mumbling between your sniffling. “If that’s the case we’ll look for her together. I’ll be there in five minutes, okay? Wait for me!”

You ran out of the fair, still clutching the phone to your ear as you paced the street up and down. Your gaze skipped around the area, hoping to see that familiar mop of hair.

The second Johnny turned into the street of the fair his eyes landed on your wandering form. He parked the car and jumped out, rushing over to you. Johnny grabbed both your shoulders and quickly scanned you from head to toe, making sure you were unharmed, before he pulled you into a bone crushing hug. 

You wrapped your arms around his middle and hid your face in his chest, apologising over and over again for losing Ari.

Johnny patted your head reassuringly, slowly calming you down with his soothing aura and deep voice. “It’s going to be alright. We’re going to find Ari. Don’t worry, love.” He held you for a moment longer, waiting until you felt ready to let go of him.

With new determination you stepped back and nodded. “She must still be at the fair. I guess I wasn’t as thorough as I thought in my panic.”

Before you could apologise again, Johnny interrupted you: “It’s alright. Two pairs of eyes are better than one, so let us go and check again.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the large building of the fair.

Though when he wanted to push the door open, it didn’t budge. A frown appeared on his face as he tried pulling the door and it still didn’t move a bit. 

“Could they have closed this quickly?” You wondered out loud, your gaze wandering along the glass front that was now covered up. “I could have sworn ten minutes ago I was still able to see all the different puppies and kitties through the windows.”

“Something isn’t right”, Johnny grumbled and pulled you along the building. “Did you notice anything odd when you first arrived at the fair today?” 

You frowned in thought, eyes skipping from side to side as you recounted your memories. “Not really” - you shook your head - “Ari met a lot of her classmates and their parents but that’s it.”

“How many?”

“Maybe ten? I don’t know, I got nervous introducing myself to their parents.” You bit on your lower lip and tried your hardest to remember every encounter you had. A deep sigh escaped your mouth once you realised you couldn’t pinpoint the exact number. “I’m sorry. I’m sure it is around ten classmates but it could be like eight or twelve too.”

“Even eight classmates with their parents are quite a lot. If someone knew of that they would have the perfect opportunity to strike.”

“What do you mean?” Dread settled in your stomach as you listened to Johnny, fearing the worst already.

“A pet fair doesn’t have the same security level as our prestigious academy. If they have any security at all.” Johnny stopped in front of a vent. He had no time to explain how he, as a supposed psychiatrist, knew how to sneak into a building but he would worry about an excuse after they got Ari again.

You stood next to him, watching him silently as he pulled a pocket screwdriver out of his wallet and skillfully loosened the screws of the vent. Personally, you would have chosen a much rougher version of getting inside but you couldn’t let Johnny see that version of yourself. You were supposed to be a doting housewife after all.

Johnny crawled into the vent first and helped you inside afterwards. He silently navigated the way through the narrow space. After a while Johnny stopped. He pointed at his ear and then ahead of himself, hoping you’d understand his message before he continued to move ahead.

Both of you stopped at an opening, seeing the pet fair in front of you - except the people were missing. The only thing they heard were the various amounts of pets playing, whining, yipping or squeaking.

“Where’s everyone?” You whispered under your breath, fearing even that volume would be too much and reveal your position.

Johnny shrugged with his shoulders and started unscrewing the opening. Once he stepped outside he helped you too and placed the opening back to hide their tracks. 

Now that you two stood upright you were able to oversee the whole fair. There was a double door leading to the private rooms, which didn’t seem guarded.

You pulled at Johnny’s sleeve and pointed towards the seated crowd at one corner of the fair. The people anxiously looked towards the both of you but didn’t dare to make a move or a sound. 

The moment of confusion vanished the second you two heard a threatening growl behind you. “Trained dogs”, Johnny mumbled and pulled you behind him. He slowly backed away from the dogs while his gaze roamed around the area, hoping to find something useful.

Alerted from the growls, two more large dogs showed up baring their teeth. They pushed you towards the group of hostages, where a fourth guard dog was waiting.

“What are we going to do?” Your eyes darted over the crowd, noticing how none of the children were there. Anger and worry flared up inside of you, picturing the worst happening to Ari. Without hesitation you grabbed the strap of your purse and slapped it across the nuzzle of one of the dogs. “Bad dog!”

Johnny stared at you for a moment, stunned you moved out of the hiding spot behind him and actively attacked trained guard dogs.

You swiftly moved out of the way as one dog jumped forward and slammed the back of your hand on the back of the dog’s head, knocking it out in the process. “You will not keep me away from my little Ari!”

Johnny followed suit and helped you knock out the remaining dogs. As soon as he deemed the threat being taken care of he turned to the crowd. After a few questions to gather a little more intel Johnny guided the group to the exit, letting them go and asking them to notify the police.

You on the other hand couldn’t care less about these people. You simply walked towards the double doors, pushing them open and finding yourself in a long hallway that spread out to both sides with several more rooms.

“My papa and mama will be coming and saving all of us!” 

Your head snapped towards the direction of Ari’s voice. You hurried towards it but Johnny grabbed your arm and pulled you back again, placing one finger over his lips. 

Both of you listened to the conversation. The booming voice of a male sent chills down your spine. “Your parents are paying a hefty sum to buy your freedom, let alone their own freedom. Don’t be so cocky about having rich parents!”

“They will come here and hit you like kawoom!”

“That’s enough from you!”

You flinched upon hearing the slap. Before Johnny could hold you back, you slammed the door open. Your eyes quickly scanned the room, seeing all the children huddled in one corner and Ari crouching at the front.

As she looked up with teary eyes, holding her stinging cheek, you could only see red. You threw your purse at the back of the head from the man, getting his attention immediately.

“What the-” He growled threateningly and stormed towards you. His large hands were about to grab you when you dropped down and punched him in the gut, making him double over. You stepped back and watched him go down on his knees before you roundhouse kicked him in the face.

Johnny stared at you with wide eyes. He knew you could be dangerous but he never expected to witness something like this. He actually questioned himself when you snapped out of this rage mode and hurried over to Ari, being back to the sniffling and crying mess he had encountered first.

“What is going on here?”

You quickly pushed Ari behind you and turned around, ready to charge at the new threat at any given moment. 

Though when you turned around you saw Johnny already dodging the first punch. His fighting style contradicted yours in any possible way. While you went straight for the target and created the most damage while doing that, Johnny played with his target - taunting and teasing his opponent until they made a mistake. 

You were most destructive on a physical level but Johnny included mind games, making him most destructive on a psychological level.

Johnny hit his opponent on the back of his neck, knocking him unconscious. With an amused exhale Johnny turned back to you and Ari. He crouched down next to you, his eyes locked with yours until Ari pushed herself between you two.

“Are you hurt?” He asked and cupped her cheek softly, frowning as he still saw the imprint from the slap Ari received earlier. Yet she still shook her head and gleamed up at him.

“I knew you were coming! I told everyone my mama and papa would save us!”

“You were so brave”, you whispered and wrapped your arms around Ari, holding her tightly, “so, so brave.”

Ari grabbed Johnny’s hand and pulled him into the embrace as well, giggling in satisfaction when he hugged both of you. 

“I’m proud of you”, he added as he leaned down and kissed Ari’s forehead.

“Of mama too!”

You were about to protest when Johnny grabbed your chin and turned your face towards his. “I’m proud of you too”, he said firmly and pecked your cheek, smirking upon your flustered state.

Ari turned to look at you with a knowing glint in her eyes. “Of papa too”, she simply stated and waited for you to act on it.

You swallowed nervously and your gaze dropped to his lips for a split second. “Of course we’re proud of you too”, you said, trying to sound as firmly as Johnny did before but failing miserably once you giggled nervously.

“They’re here!”

Both you and Johnny spun around highly alert again, only to relax when several police officers came into the room. You pulled Ari into your arms, carrying her as Johnny guided you out of the way, still shielding the both of you protectively. 

As the police officers arrested the criminals and guided the children back to their parents, the three of you stayed back.

“We still haven’t found a pet for you”, you remembered out loud with a hint of regret, “and I don’t think the fair will continue today.”

Ari snickered in your hold and carefully opened the jacket she wore. “I found a pet, mama.” A white ball of fur peaked its head out from the jacket, the black nose curiously wiggling around as it sniffed the air. “Can I keep it?”

“We still need to officially adopt it”, Johnny told her, patting her head with a soft smile. “Lead the way to where you got it from and then all of us can go back home.”

You let Ari back down onto her own two feet, watching her skipping happily towards the door. Your focus on the small child only wavered when Johnny grabbed your hand again and pulled you to his side.

“I think you forgot something.”

You stared at him with wide eyes, feeling the panic rise inside of you again while your mind frantically rummaged through your memories. 

“You were proud of me”, Johnny teased you with an expectant look. He watched realisation hit you before it got replaced with your nervousness again. “Can you say it again?”

You inhaled deeply, trying to calm your pounding heart. “I am proud of you”, you said and looked into Johnny’s eyes.

A smirk played over his features as he cupped your face and pulled you in for a kiss, sealing his emotions for you and for Ari with it.

“Mama, papa! Hurry up!”

Reluctantly Johnny broke the kiss again, his eyes searching yours. “We should go before Ari disappears again.”

© all rights reserved  

Taglist: @xavi-in-kpopland

[aoififi]

Hey there, idiot.

You're dumb. You're just a doll. I've been following your tumblr for a loooong time now, Fifi. A girlfriend of mine once linked me one of your story times to explain a fantasy she was having. You know the ones. Eloquently written exercises in depravity, chronicling the complete deconstruction of a proud, self-reliant, often even dominant person into a simple fucktoy and domestic appliance. And I was hooked. I loved them. Back then I even had legitimate respect for you as a writer of erotica, Fifi. Can you even imagine anymore? People respecting you? I know! Brainwashing is good for you. The girlfriend isn't around anymore, but I continued checking up on your blog every few months. I don't really browse tumblr myself. Not even for the porn. But when I did find my way here, you were a great curator for all things a guy with a maid and bimbo fetish could hope for. Ha. I'm decently sure it's your blog that had me discover those fetishes to begin with. Brainwashing is making you so much better. Of course, you stopped writing story times a long while ago. And I understand that. There were other things you focused on. When you learned to aspire to be less, and to accept Your Natural State. The first time you wrote without autocorrect. When you abandoned the maid thing entirely to become a suckhole. I do miss the story times, but your journey was a delight to watch. Edging melts your mind away. Why I'm telling you all that? I have no idea, to be honest. Narcissim, maybe, or possibly nostalgia? Could even be a misguided attempt to let you know that the things you do here are fun for people. Who knows. By this point, you've probably already drooled a shiny, sticky coat over your keyboard while edging away mindlessly. Just waiting for the boring words to stop and more happy trigger phrases to click into your perception instead. Good girls do it every day. So let's try and end this with something that gooey pink mush your daddy turned your brains into can actually comprehend. Hey Fifi! Tell us your favourite thing your Daddy does to you or makes you do. Oh. And thank you, Fifi. Thank you for being porn.

omg this was such a good thing to read. like, thinking about how bimbofied ive become over the years, and being reminded of it, just feels *so* good, so thank you so much!!

it's pretty hard to just pick one thing though, you know? like everything Daddy does to me or makes me do is good in its own way. like sometimes when my mouth is stuffed and sucking, Daddy helps me keep my mind right in my mouth a d focused on my oral fixation and on their cock fucking me brainless. that really makes me drop *super* hard 💫 Daddys really helpful and smart like that.

[ilikereadingactually]

The Archive Undying

The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon

WOW, this is a ride, in so many ways. i really dig sff that drops me in without explanations and lets me learn the world through context, and i adore a book that really asks me to do a lot of thinking and piecing together and interpreting subtleties. i'm a go-with-the-flow reader, i don't really go back to look again at anything or look up words as i read, i trust the narrative to make sense eventually. this book satisfies and rewards all of that!! i found it a little denser than is ideal for me, but dense in that lush, humid way where you're a little out of breath all the time. i don't think i fully have a grasp on the world or the nuances of the plot, which makes it feel pleasantly surreal and makes me really excited for the next book.

i do feel fully invested in and in love with the main characters, which makes the whole thing work for me. Sunai is such a mensch!!! Veyadi tries hard and loves with ragged edges! everyone is a personality and a delight even when they're deceiving each other and switching sides and screwing up and hating themselves, and i think it's because Sunai's pov is so tender and generous. he's a big mess, and is willing to accept and forgive the messiness of the people he loves; how could he, wounded as he is, expect anyone else to be flawless? it makes me love him, and makes me love everyone who loves him.

other highlights for me are the complexities of personhood presented here: there are corrupted AI gods and humans damaged by their interfaces, there are intelligences within intelligences and fragments of being and surprising mergers of thought and self. it's like a political conflict happening inside a funhouse, with pleasingly incomplete religious underpinnings that put me in mind of A Psalm for the Wild-Built, except it's nothing like that book at all in tone or temperament. also, mlm main characters, which seems fairly rare still in this kind of epic speculative fiction, plus interesting gender things going on in general! also also, i'm such a sucker for Asian-based sff worlds, and this one has that feel: some East Asian, some Southeast, some South, flavoring the names and the language and the food and the feel without any one-to-one mapping of cultures in this book onto cultures in the real world.

the deets

how i read it: an e-galley through NetGalley, from the elusive Tor, my current fave publisher just pumping out bangers all the time. upon getting access to this i felt the way you do when a cat chooses to sniff your hand.

try this if you: like to float and be carried by beautiful prose in a vast and deep moving landscape you can never see all of at once, enjoy queers making bad choices for good reasons, dig a book where the relationships are varied and interesting and often sexual without any of the usual "romantic" tropes, have feelings about questions of selfhood, or understand revenge but prefer mercy.

maybe not for you if: you get very frustrated by books that move fast without explaining much, and books that are purposefully playing with mysterious perspectives and voices. this book does not show its cards, and i love that but i know it can be a dealbreaker for some.

some lines i really liked: this is a loooong book so i picked out a few.

It is excruciating to behold. Sunai understands that they know each other. He and Imaru first met Ruhi when he and she were still running together, and Imaru brought Ruhi's letter to Ghamor only a couple of months ago. None of that mitigates the bodily shock of seeing them together. Talking. The panicked realization that they could talk to each other about him--that they have likely already done this--compels Sunai to interrupt.

...

He never imagined that Ruhi might already have chosen to do the damnable thing himself. It makes him feel a certain fuck of a way.

...

"It killed the sentinel-fowl," says Veyadi.

By the counter, Imaru stills. "What?"

"I killed the sentinel-fowl," Sunai clarifies.

"That isn't explaining," says Jin. "What do you mean you killed it? Lay it out plain for those of us who aren't fondling each other's neurons."

pub date: June 27, 2023!

[onwriting-hrarby]

I did not live until today — John's feelings

This is a drabble of my fic "I did not live until today" that an anon requested a loooong, long time ago. Anon: I'm sorry I didn't write it sooner! But enjoy some words of John, Mikasa's father, reflecting upon her relationship with her daughter. And if you like it, let me know! (Honestly I don't know if you're here anymore... You wrote in september... I am so sorry...)

tw: divorce, angst

John watched her daughter wake up—how her eyelashes intertwined with each other, the way her thumb rubbed her eyes until they teared up. Mikasa let out a yawn. Her messy bun bobbed on top of her hair, and John observed her from the table of the kitchen, his steamy coffee smelling burnt.

He couldn’t pinpoint what he was doing in here. An attempt to make up with her, he told himself, thanks to Sakura’s kindness. He had come unannounced, in the secret shadow of someone who knows should be embarrassed of what he did. How much time did he spend without calling her, his heart aching at the possibility that Mikasa wouldn’t answer? How much sleep did he lose, accepting that Mikasa might not love him anymore, and he had brought this upon himself?

He whispered, Good morning. John looked at how his daughter reacted—barely a twitch in her mouth as she answered, Yes. She grabbed some tea from the kitchen shelf. Her legs were long, now, boney like always. John remembered the way the legs used to fold at his shoulders when he picked her up, and Mikasa would grab at his hair, and would say, Yes, dad, higher! Her little hands would fist painfully at the split ends, but he’d endure until Mikasa fell asleep, wobbling down, and Sakura took her in her arms.

Silence fills the kitchen with anger brewing. It’s not his, John acknowledges. He’s not angry that Mikasa is angry at him, nor is he disappointed, nor did he hope for something else.

How many years? Seven, probably?

He wants to say, I needed to be happy, too. Because John can’t say why, or when, but it showered him all over once: that he wasn’t happy. As if he had been woken up from a dream and realized that everything was gray, pale in comparison of what he used to live. He would never know the answer why, he knew. He understood he could never explain to them what had changed—and that was part of the problem, the inability to speak, to manifest. The way Sakura looked at him guiltily, as if it had been her fault. She was always hard on herself, harder on Mikasa, though. The way his own daughter glared at him every time he made the sheer attempt to talk to her and tell her the truth: that he had another daughter, now, that he loved just the same as her, that she would never be replaced.

But, sometimes, John understood, being away meant not being able to love fully.

Would you like some tea?, Mikasa asked. She waved the kettle at him. Her lips tightened in a line, as if she was trying not to tell a thing through her gestures. Her shoulders, broad like a ballerina’s, tensed. He could see her, all rock, all frozen.

John lowered his gaze. The coffee layed undrunk, unkempt. It didn’t smell anymore. He wanted to say, No, but something in his throat burnt, stuck, made him breathless, and he forced tears not to come into his eyes, and so he shook his head, bit his lip, wanted to scream, hear me out, Mikasa—but the dad accepted the silence, and the daughter left the kettle on the stove, then took her cup, then went away to her mother, just like she had done for so many years when he wasn’t there.

[hekkoto]

Who is your favourite creepypasta character? Mine is Ben Drowned ^^ I also like Jeff a lot, tho his original creepypasta is kinda shit ;D Become my Patron before 10th of July and get this June print [+July one too, 2 in one, its great deal~ ;p]. Im small artist so if you would like to support me leave like and comment to boost my posts <3 and all linkz here!: https://linktr.ee/hekkoto So, I had first of tests for ADHD and it seems I have it ;p who would expect this haha, I should be diagnosed loooong time ago. Anyway, hopefully thanks to this I will get meds for it and I will be able to actually do things. Cause I struggle a lot, I start million of things but finishing them is nightmare, I have some things which are on my to do list fir over a year ;-; oh, also I learnt something very interesting, when I was talking with psychologist I mentioned Im unable to miss people, it seems I might only feel primal emotions and I dont feel those higher ones >XD nice, I didnt expected Im so disturbed. Anyway, she told me its something I should talk about on therapy [I wish I could able to go on therapy sadly I dont have money for this ;-; Im thinking about asking my parents for this but I feel they arent too happy cause they already pay for my meds... I wish I wouldnt be burden for them ;v;] wanna support my evil dark empire? Im accepting souls on Patreon and Ko-fi! -> Hekkoto Huge thanks to all of my Patrons and people who donate <3

[pleas3pretendimnothere]

Reading for March! I only read 3 books this month. I've been dealing with some mysterious medical issue (classic "all your tests are normal! Here's some pain meds, go home."), so my stress has been very elevated. I'm in pain every day, and it's made the physical act of sitting still and reading quite difficult. Shout out to audiobooks for allowing me to get through these while broiling in the bath!

Authority & Acceptance

By Jeff Vandermeer - I read the first book in Vandermeer's Southern Reach trilogy Annihilation some five or six years ago shortly after Alex Garland's film released. I loved the movie, so I was happy to pick up the book it was based on! That book was very different, neither in a good or bad way. Some things, the movie improved on, and other things the movie failed. Regardless, it was a haunting read that stayed with me years later, when I finally picked up the sequels.

Annihilation is about Area X, a dangerous seaside dream-world that defies explanation and has become secreted by the military. Delightfully, Authority opens up the world of the Southern Reach, the nearby operating facility where the world's brightest attempt to understand Area X's many horrors. The main character is the young and mysterious new director, Control, who delves into understanding the strange, clandestine operations of the Southern Reach, especially those linked to his now deceased predecessor. One scene in particular involving a secret attic will stay with me for a loooong time!

In the following book, Acceptance, the worlds of Area X and the Southern Reach converge. Characters from different times, which feel each like different, distinct worlds, tell stories that expand the reader's understanding of Area X. I won't spoil much, but this book was a near perfect end to this series. The horrors of Control and Ghost Bird's conclusions, the tragedy of the lighthouse keeper and the creation of Area X, and the deep character intrigue surrounding Gloria each play into an ending that doesn't answer all questions, but in the spirit of the series, still provides a mysterious yet satisfying feeling of finality. Though not all things "work out", there is relief.

Authority may have been the weakest book in the trilogy, but Acceptance was the strongest. It's not often that you find series that finish so well, but Vandermeer's Southern Reach trilogy is definitely among the good ones. The books are highly psychological, and often, I was forced to reread passages in order to completely understand them. Sometimes, the writing felt intentionally confusing, and other times, perhaps not so intentionally! The books make for slow reads for that reason, but thanks to the great storytelling, that was something that did not bother me. I love written horror that fails to describe the indescribable because, of course, of the nature of the thing. Whatever description results is highly paradoxical to the reader. It's horror that is inherently confusing, and therefore all the more horrifying. These books are boiling over with this stuff, and I loved it! The suspense, the paranoia, the terrible climaxes... Chef's kiss, all around!

A fantastic sci-fi horror series I'd recommend to fans of the genres. It's a staple in character work and psychological terror (or terroir? Nay...). Definitely BUY IT!

Frenchman's Creek

By Daphne du Maurier - And now for something completely different! How different? Why, some classical literature about a high society Englishwoman who tires of the frivolities of court life! Luckily, adventure awaits her at her summer home... in the form of piracy! And adultery, of course!

Rebecca is a favorite of mine, and I knew I had to read more by du Maurier. While Frenchman was no Rebecca, it was still a wonderful time! Our main character Dona is a delightful wild soul who says what's on her mind and does what she feels like. She's a breath of fresh air who can't be cowed, and her stubborn character makes for a wonderfully likeable hero. No wonder she falls into the arms of a handsome pirate hiding his ship and his crew in the nearby creek! She just can't be tamed!

Frenchman is just plain fun. It's cheesy romance, tongue-in-cheek writing, and ridiculous adventure that left me sometimes in giggling fits. If you enjoy romance, this is a fun one. RENT IT!

Okay, no promises, but I MIGHT read Way of Kings this month. With this illness, we'll just have to wait and see!

[shuicheese]

*cracks knuckles* okay children, GATHER UP IT'S TIME FOR A SMALL SUMMARY AND INTRO!!

i'll say this tho i'm shy when it comes to talking abt my OCs a lot publically so this is the best you'll get from me

okay, we're starting with.... Zerum. if you've been here loooong loong ago you'll recognize him, the next OC and possibly the one after too!! he's been here forever ago honestly and i'm never gonna be satisfied with his story and i accepted that bHJVVHJVF i wanted to make a webcomic about his lore since 2015 and i'll say this rn i doubt that will ever happen because,,, i mean. his world-building is a mess but you never know!! but he's my sweet sweet mute anti-hero uwu he's a tired criminal tbh he just wanna snooze. he's actually good-hearted despite being in a very infamous group in his universe, he's extremely soft towards children and plays a big brother role!! Overall a phantom thief, literally a phanrom thief his skills are smthin else // phantom-like

also has blue blood

up next is Aza!! I THINK ABT HER AND HER LITTLE SQUAD SM GRRRR

small,,, angry demon child. superiority complex-- her life is a messss but she hides her troubles and acts like things are chill, she's strong abt it!! she is full of anger tho and trauma but she's fine she's in good hands !! she will throw fists tho and will challenge others to fight her-- very confident she'll win!! despite having a mask that makes her seem very self-centered she's actually just a kid in the end who empathizes and cares for others a lot, even if she doesn't show it a lot

lastly,,, the Operator!! (also known as EVOD but Operator is just the name she uses publically)

this one,,, *rattles her* was once a semi-sona but she's now just her own OC to a degree ish but . lord . so tw for parasites and insects talk for this one ! she's a very very intelligent parasite controlling a human body and that's about it-- she can communicate with insects too and is a completely different species all together tbh. Very complicated when it comes to her personality but I like to call her my mad doctor / scientist clickbait bc she's a (mostly) harmless one ♡ murder? Nono. Torture? I mean. Questionable it depends rlly but she is the questionable friend shaped creature--

Im mostly fixated on Aza (plus her pals) and the Operator rn !! :3

Im writing this with a smol headache and mind fog but yEAH HERE'S A SMOL INTRO HOPE IT'S UWU theres sm more but these are just some of my mains hehehuhu

Can you tell us about your different OCs and what their names are?

sounds like an interrogation unit what did they do, officer- i swear they may have done crimes but i can explain

[braverytaught]

WHAT WERE MINERVA'S THOUGHTS ABOUT 'THE LIFE AND LIES OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE' ??!! did she (eventually) read it? did it change anything about how she saw albus???? WE NEED TO KNOW !

@lamentedhope || send me meta topics || always accepting

unsurprisingly, minerva was absolutely disgusted to hear rita skeeter’s announcement about the life and lies: it was clear that rita was capitalizing off of dumbledore’s death, which minerva, of course, found repulsive, not to mention hurtful to those who were grieving him. she had no desire to read the book, nor to trust anything rita might have to say about dumbledore; as we know, minerva tends to believe very few matters of public hype that aren’t corroborated by people she trusts, dumbledore among them, and she’s well aware of rita’s penchant for dramatizing, if not straight-up lying.

so she stays as far away from the life and lies for a good while, and though it’s impossible to avoid hearing the rumors about it, anyone who discusses it in her presence gets a poisonous look from her. she has no interest in listening to the tripe of someone who intends to besmirch dumbledore’s name for the sake of commercial gain and notoriety, certainly not when she herself is still grieving him, and would much rather remember him fondly than not.

now, the contents of the book...someone who plays dumbledore, like u, would be a better authority than me on the matter of how much dumbledore might have divulged to minerva, but i want to point out the passage in the pottermore ebook that says, “Albus Dumbledore offered both comfort and wisdom [after discovering Minerva in tears over the news of Dougal’s marriage], and told Minerva some of his own family history, previously unknown to her. ...Minerva McGonagall was one of only a handful of people who knew, or suspected, how dreadful a moment it was for Albus Dumbledore when, in 1945, he made the decision to confront and defeat the Dark wizard Gellert Grindelwald.”

if we go by this, it implies that dumbledore, in comforting minerva over her decision to leave someone she loved, told her something about his own childhood love and heartbreak -- or, at least, implied enough that she was able to realize that the person he alluded to was in fact grindelwald. i do not believe that minerva would have any knowledge of the fact that dumbledore colluded with grindelwald’s plans, that they plotted wizard supremacy together -- i doubt dumbledore would have told her anything about that; rather, he told a story of loving someone he shouldn’t have, and the difficulty of having to oppose them, or what have u. something analogous enough with her own experiences to bring her comfort.

anyway -- that, at least, implies that minerva would not be shocked to learn that dumbledore had known grindelwald in his youth; she already knew, or suspected, that much to be true. however, if she learned that rita had written, not just of dumbledore’s involvement with grindelwald, but of their collusion, then she would be both shocked and angry. she would immediately scorn such accusations, and the people who believed them. the dumbledore she knew opposed everything about grindelwald’s ideals, and she trusted her own observations over a fifty-year relationship with him (from student to colleague to friend) over the word of a gossip-mongering hack journalist. 

not to mention, she was in the middle of one of the worst times of her life -- trapped in a hogwarts that no longer belonged to her, opposing the reign of someone she had once called a friend, trying desperately to keep her students safe from literal torture, which sometimes meant putting herself through it instead. you will recall that when harry says that he’s working on dumbledore’s orders when he returns to hogwarts, dumbledore’s name seems to help minerva regain strength and resolve; she straightens her back and takes charge. that is not the response of a woman who has come to doubt him and the validity of what he stood for. during this time, she needed to believe in dumbledore’s cause. she needed to believe in her own cause, and how could she do that if she was plagued with doubts about him?

which is not to say that she had no doubts during that year. of course she did. it was comforting to think that everything rita said about dumbledore was a lie, but she was right about dumbledore and grindelwald’s acquaintance, and minerva had never fooled herself into thinking that dumbledore told her everything. of course she knew it was possible that rita’s words held truth. and when minerva doesn’t know something, she prefers to investigate it herself. i’m sure that she struggled with an unhappy desire to see for herself, to read this book, during that year -- and i’m sure that, every time, she managed to wrestle it down. because she knew it would anger her. she knew it would upset her. she knew it would not solve her worries, as much as she wished she could use it to decide once and for all that it was all nonsense. 

instead, she decided to accept that there were things she did not know about dumbledore, perhaps things she would not like. and, knowing that, she decided to believe in him anyway. she needed to. she had always accepted an amount of ambiguity from him, had always chosen to trust him even when he would not tell her the full story, when he asked her to act in faith rather than understanding. she could continue doing that. for as long as this horror continued, she could continue doing that. 

so no, i don’t think she read the book during the 1997-1998 school year, and while the rumors that reached her of it did shake her, she chose not to let them destroy her faith in the man who had guided her throughout her life. 

but. i do think she would have read it eventually. sometime after the end of the war, after the dust had settled. sometime when she no longer depended on him as a symbol for her strength, when she could approach the matter with a presence of mind that wasn’t available to her during the turbulent months after his death. she sat in the chair in her rooms off of the headmistress’s office, and she read it. and she cried. and she felt at turns angry, and at turns sad. she scoffed at rita’s obviously biased tone throughout, but she paid due attention to the testimony of bathilda bagshot, and reread the letter in dumbledore’s own handwriting many times.

did reading it for herself change her view of dumbledore? it couldn’t not, in some ways. it was certainly very strange for her. the dumbledore she saw in rita’s book was not the dumbledore that she had known -- and while minerva understands the extent which people can change, because she’s witnessed it, she’s also never experienced it in herself; though she has certainly gone through changes of temperament in her life (most notably the years she spent in the ministry as a young woman), minerva’s core beliefs and personality are stable and frank enough that she has never undergone a truly radical or lasting change in values. that made it hard to reconcile the possible dumbledore of the past with the one that she had known, and certainly learning of his former convictions -- she, who fiercely loves her muggle father and has always been a supporter of muggleborns and half-bloods -- would have struck her and hurt her. but ultimately she chooses to remember the man that dumbledore became, not the man he started out as. if he made mistakes in his youth, if he espoused such unhappy views, then he made up for it in the way he lived the rest of his life. 

it did perhaps distance her somewhat from dumbledore, but it was not enough to seriously tarnish the respect that she had for him.

[literatikoo]

Lane Kim deserved better

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I would only write Lane Kim meta when I am very very angry because I need to be powered by spite and petty energy to unravel exactly how much of a disservice this show was to Lane and by extension any Asian kid with a similar life. And, well, it's happening now, so buckle up kids, this is going to be a loooong ride because I have a lot to say.

Before we start on the negative aspects, the show got a lot of things about Lane right, which is why I care so much about her character. Yes, ASP obviously didn't know how to write a POC experience and it's seen in the way some very harmful stereotypes were propagated (the tiger mom trope, Mrs Kim's religious beliefs, the depiction of the Kim extended family etc) but at the same time Lane was beautifully written as a character, unlike her plot which left much to be desired. Lane Kim was an Asian girl with rock n roll dreams who had an extremely fraught relationship with her mother and had to fight for even a semblance of independence. And I hate to say it but a lot of daughters of Asian households are forced to hide a part of themselves from their families, so Lane's story was authentic.

Not only was Lane amazing as an individual, she was also a great friend. She was the only one who was really in Rory's corner; she never judged her and supported all of Rory's relationships (my favourite example of this is when she barely tolerated Jess in S2/3 and then did a complete 180 like 5 episodes later, all because Rory decided to finally accept she liked him). Lane never pointed out what Rory was doing wrong not because she was afraid of doing so but because the two of them had been friends for years and Lane believed that Rory would figure it out one day. Lane shows this unconditional kindness not only to Rory but to everyone. She takes in her Korean cousin and teaches her to have fun even when she's afraid that Mrs Kim has replaced her, she lets Gil be in the band because she empathises with him, she takes care of the band and prevents it from breaking up multiple times. And these are only a few examples of Lane being the kindest character on GG.

One of the best things in Gilmore Girls is that the most unproblematic, amazing guy is given to Lane. Dave Rygalski is the best love interest on the show hands down (Sorry to my boy Jess but Dave was LEAGUES ahead of him at 17) and Lane definitely deserved someone like that. Their story was adorable and I would have loved for them to be endgame. However, what grates me is that when I see people talking about Lane "deserving better," it's usually about Dave vs Zach. When Lane actually deserved better as a WHOLE and not only in terms of love interests. I always thought it made more sense for her to end up alone at the end of the og series. Because Lane was a person who craved independence and she was not going to get that while tied to some guy (even if that guy is boyfriend extraordinaire, Dave Rygalski). It's even worse when we see that Lane is the only female character on the show to be treated this way. Rory rejects marriage for her career while Lane ends up with marriage as her storyline. Lorelai and Luke get back together but their relationship is still left open ended, though arguably it would've made more sense if they got married when Lane and Zach did. Paris gets into Harvard Medical school and gets a great relationship, similarly Sookie gets the family she wanted and continues to be amazing at her job. But Lane... god Lane is the only one without an open ending, without any space for speculation of where her life might lead her. Not only did they marry her off, they also gave her a terrible first time and twins, effectively locking her to Stars Hollow. The show even cut down all hope of her being a rock n roll mom as one of her S7 storylines is choosing the kids over going on tour with Zach. She doesn't get to be her own person for more than ONE season; she's stuck with being a daughter and then a wife and then a mother.

Something else that angers me about Lane's storyline is that we never really get to see how badly her relationship with her mom affects her. Don't get me wrong, I adore Mrs Kim's redemption arc and I think it was beautifully juxtaposed to Lorelai and Rory's crumbling relationship, but having a mother like that is hard. Not only did Lane have to hide 90% of her personality from Mrs Kim but she also lived with the fact that one day she might have to choose between her dreams and her mother. In the end, Mrs Kim makes that choice for her and deals with it by kicking Lane out in S4, and yet we never really see how that negatively affects Lane. Hell, Jess acts like a broody teen for two seasons, Rory wastes six months of her life away at the DAR and they both come out of it successfully. Lane gets kicked out, figures out her own living conditions, gets a job, works insanely hard for her band and... ends up having to give her dreams up completely.

Lane and Paris shared a lot of similarities too, even if they both had different friendships with Rory. They both came from terrible families and looked to Lorelai as a mother figure, they both cared deeply for Rory, and they were both incredibly passionate about their careers. Paris made calendars and flashcards and went crazy studying for both pre med and pre law. Lane was a walking, talking music encyclopaedia, she bought CDs obsessively and organised them by genre under her floorboards, she taught herself to play the drums and then found a band to play for. And yet... only Paris becomes successful in the end, whereas Lane takes over Kim's antiques. Lane was still a musician in AYITL and she can be rock n roll even with kids but this is all hypothetical and we never see it on the show.

There is a lot of terrible, lazy writing on the show and a lot of characters get ruined because of it but with Lane, her character stays the same, they just ruin everything else for her. I think she'll be an amazing mom and will probably make her best out of doing music casually. But the writers also took something so special and destroyed it just because Lane stopped being as important to the plot as she was in seasons 1-3. Lane and Rory drifting a little after Rory leaves for Yale makes perfect sense, that's just how relationships are, always changing. And yet as Lane's importance to Rory decreased so did her importance to the writers.

Lane wasn't the kind of character that needed character development or a redeeming character arc- she was never a bad person and nothing about her had to be fixed, unlike Jess or even Paris. All she really needed was for her dreams to come true because for the first 4 seasons her dreams were the biggest fixture of her personality. Like how Jess needed to overcome his trauma and Rory needed to figure out where she fit in and Paris needed to become a girlboss, Lane needed to realise her dreams because that's where her arc was leading her. But it just didn't happen. Instead, Lane becomes 2-dimensional; a large part of her screentime is taken up by Zach problems, her dreams fall flat and she becomes tied to Stars Hollow for the rest of her life. Not to mention we see less of Lane in favour of Logan and the dickhead posse.

This is not me hating on all the other characters I've mentioned in this meta, I'm just pointing out the lack of respect the writers have for Lane in comparison to all these other people who fulfilled the role they were made for. Why would you write Lane to have all these dreams and make her struggle so hard for 4 seasons just to smash them to pieces? And why is it that one of the only POC characters on this show is treated like this?

And you can't tell me the writers didn't know what they were doing, not when this is a direct quote from Lane in S7:

"It was such a small window -- a peephole, really. For years, I was this repressed kid, and then there was the briefest of windows. And then -- slam. All of a sudden, I'm this overburdened mother. I barely got to do it, Zach. I barely got the chance to be a person."

[tenebristhequeen]

* Tenebris looks at the Sin, following him with her eyes as he walks around the room.

Once he finally answers her, she's gets to the conclusion that she's glad she didn't give up, despite the painful memories.

However, after a few moments of hesitation, she moves closer, her body instinctively moving almost in a snake like way, it's just something she does out if habit, nothing to worry about*

At this point I'm not even that surprised. I should probably be angry for what was your first intention with me, I mean, I would have been angry for sure..

...But I think I shall thank you instead, for changing your mind.

You say that you're evil, and I'm sure you did worse than some beings I've met during my loooong life...but you still chose to change what to ask.

Being evil, good, neutral and such is something that's decided by our choices, not our race or species.

So..for what matters, I don't think you're completely evil, sure, tour a Sin, an hellish being, but that means nothing.

Not to me at least.

*The Queen speaks softly..maybe her heart is still a bit naive, maybe she is too kind with others.

But this is how she wishes to act, following the path of Kindness, which doesn't excludes being able to defend herself or become a nightmare for her enemies-*

And, trust me, I'm not a version of anything.

I did met a version of you tho, a long time ago.

*Her hand moves to gently pat his arm, in a gentle way*

Do you mind if I already accept to dance and sing together?

I could also use a few tricks of mine to give us plenty of time and a nice dancefloor.

*Music is part of her culture, such offer is a blessing for her, something that she would likely accept to also relieve her stress*

@tenebristhequeen continuation from here

Ozzie smiles when he sees she remembered. It was an interesting game especially since he didn’t know a thing about that other being. And the potential to be even more entertaining if she loses. 

“Sure I’ll start.” Said the sin with a soft tone. “Your existence is still something I want to understand more.”

Asmodeus scratches the fur on his chin, thinking about the next question of their game. 

“I can see you’re powerful. Yet you’re hiding here..” Ozzie wants to push a little more of the being, see what could make her uncomfortable or not. What are her limits. “What could make such an amazing being as yourself.. afraid? Afraid of dying? Or maybe of what comes before that, when whichever creature is hunting you catches up.”

[watercolorfreckles]

The Villain and His Therapist - Part 4

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

"You know, that shade of pink looks lovely on you," Villain purred, descending the stairs to lean against the kitchen counter.

Juliet paused where she was scrambling eggs in a skillet and glanced down at her attire of soft blue pajama pants and oversized grey sweater. "I'm not wearing any pink," she said slowly, lifting her gaze to look at the Villain.

He'd just come down from a shower, dark locks of hair curling over his forehead. He smelled of her green apple shampoo. It made her insides swoop all funny.

Villain's lips tugged into an easy grin as he took one step closer, two. He paused directly in front of her to lift a hand, brushing his knuckles feather-light against her burning cheek.

"I was referring to your blush. It suits you quite beautifully." His voice was liquid gold. Her skin tingled beneath his touch.

Remembering herself, Juliet swatted his hand away and covered her cheeks with her palms. "I'm not blushing."

He didn't try to hide the amusement on his face.

"Mm, whatever were you thinking about, Doctor Meadows?" Villain took Juliet's hands to gently pry them away from her face, using the hold on her wrists to pull her closer.

Juliet sucked in a soft breath, looking up at him. The sun streaming through the window caught the highlights of his handsome face and illuminated his dark irises, turning them to molten amber.

"I...was...thinking about how gentle you can be. When you calmed me down that night, you were patient and sensitive; you displayed a lot of empathy and care. I'm really proud of you. You've come a long way."

Villain's grin grew a little softer as he tilted his head to the side, studying her face. The way he looked at her used to make her feel like prey being stalked by a lion. Now...it made her feel like she was the only thing in his universe.

Her stomach fluttered.

Juliet swallowed, continuing. "I imagine it isn't easy for you to be so vulnerable. I'm glad that you feel safe enough with me to be soft."

Villain brushed her fringe away from her face, tapping the side of her head. "That psychologist brain of yours never turns off, does it?"

She smiled sheepishly, gaze dipping down to the floor.

Villain's finger hooked under her chin, lifting it gently. "I never said I didn't like it. You are my therapist, after all."

Villain leaned in closer, eliciting the slightest hitch in her breath. He smiled, relishing her response.

His breath ghosted over her lips, leaving them tingling in anticipation.

"Yours?" she asked softly. Her mouth had gone dry.

"Would you like to be?"

Juliet's thoughts were rarely clear on her face. She was difficult to read under the years of training keeping her steady and prepared. Villain wanted to unpick that artificial calm from her; to map her every reaction. He wanted to watch her sigh and blush and smile...

"The eggs are going to burn," Juliet whispered, watching him.

Without taking his eyes off of her, Villain reached over her shoulder, turning off the stove. In one fluid movement, he turned with her, pressing her back against the counter.

If her cheeks were warm before, they were blazing now. Villain smiled again, this time something so fond it dazzled her senses. The world narrowed to just the two of them, flush together.

Juliet's hands fell against Villain's chest, lightly resting against the soft cotton of his shirt.

She breathed in his scent.

"Villain?"

"Mm?" he murmured, the hum of his voice vibrating against her palms.

"When your brother- What he said about how you feel...about me... Is it true?" She held his gaze, holding her breath.

"My sweet Juliet Meadows." His voice alone was enough to melt her. He took one of her hands with deliberate gentleness and placed a kiss against her fingers. "If only I were brave enough to say it out loud."

"You can say it in other ways," Juliet breathed.

His eyes gleamed.

"Oh I intend to," Villain said softly.

Villain's gaze flicked down to Juliet's lips. He kept one hand on her waist, slotting the other into her hair. He leaned in until their lips brushed. Pausing, he seemed to catch himself, probably remembering Juliet's comments in therapy about the importance of healthy communication.

He smiled again, sharp and beautiful. His warm breath grazed her skin while his thumb traced lazy circles against her jaw. "May I?" he whispered, his lips hovering just barely above hers.

Juliet opened her mouth to answer, and-

The door burst open.

Juliet jolted in surprise, panic shooting through her as she gripped Villain's arms before she caught sight of who was really at the door.

The figure was fitted in a deep red super-suit, a black mask concealing his identity.

She relaxed, releasing a breath through gritted teeth. "Hero?"

"Doctor Meadows," Hero said, relief flooding his expression. "I heard what happened to you on the news and with Supervillain's escape, I knew you were in danger so I-"

His eyes narrowed as he seemed to notice Villain for the first time. "You get away from her," he hissed marching closer, crimson beams of tech-powered energy sparking to life in his palms. "Let her go and get out."

Villain hardened at the sight of him in turn, straightening and pulling out an advanced weapon. "Now that's insulting, at least I was invited inside." His voice was smooth and dangerous. Chilling.

A far cry from the man who had held her close and smiled fondly only moments ago.

Juliet stepped between them, holding up a hand in each direction. "Stop."

"You invited him in? Doctor Meadows, he's Supervillain's brother! He's probably here to finish the job for him!"

"Oh that's rich," Villain interjected. "For all your self-righteous monologues begging me to change, to be better, when I actually try, you can't accept it."

"I'm not willing to bet Doctor Meadow's life on your 'moral awakening,'" Hero spat.

"Hero," Juliet said in the no-nonsense voice her job often required her to use. "Take a deep breath. Villain would never hurt me, you don't need to worry about that."

"He-"

"-is in rehabilitation," Juliet finished for him. "He is my patient, just as you are. He has made tremendous progress, you are in no position to discredit his reformation. I promise you that I am safe with him."

Hero stared, studying the pair. Villain's jaw was clenched, glaring hard at the hero. Juliet touched his shoulder and some of the tension immediately dissolved from him.

Hero extinguished the energy beams in his palms, shifting into a less guarded stance. He regarded them for a second longer.

"Alright."

"Alright?"

"You want to prove you have good intentions? Help me find Supervillain and bring him in, for good this time," Hero said. "I can't do it alone."

Villain turned to look at Juliet. She stepped closer, taking his hand as she spoke.

"No. I don't want you to put yourself in a position where your recovery might be compromised again. You're too close to the situation to act rationally, and it would be too much of a trigger for you."

Villain's gaze softened as it landed on her, any hostility in his demeanor vanishing like it had never been there. He brushed her hair back with gentle fingers, leaning in. His thumb dipped down to graze her lips.

Villain kissed her cheek, her chin, the corner of her mouth. He straightened, eyes intent, looking like he wanted to kiss her properly--but not until they were alone.

When time would suspend like frost in the air and the moment would belong solely to the two of them, in the quiet and safety of each other.

Juliet's skin felt cold at the loss of his touch. Dread swirled in the pit of her stomach.

Villain turned to Hero, observing him for a moment before extending a hand to shake. "Deal."

Sorry I haven't posted in so loooong. I kept putting off writing this bc I was worried id mess it up lol. This is officially the longest series I've posted so far (the rest of my snippets have 3 parts or less) so wooo! Let me know if you want to see more :)

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