#shaving not waxing don't get it twisted

[lanatusnebula]

Might shave my sona's hands?

Unsure.

I could just say that the hand hair is optional; Lana typically shaves all sorts of weird things anyway. She's fashion conscious but also completely incompetent at it.

[teaboot]

Everyone is doing digital art now. That's great, that's wonderful,it's so much cheaper and more accessible and practical in so many ways to make art digitally.

I wish I could do digital art. It looks so good, but I can't. It doesn't work for me. I've been doing art my whole life and I'm good at it because of it's tactile elements, and digital doesn't have that.

Watercolour has a unique makeup to it. The ebb and flow of it, the reactions to wax and salt and air- it makes sense. It's like speaking a different dialect. I can manipulate watercolours because I can speak the language.

Acrylic is... similar, but different. Finicky. Like sculpting with clay instead of plastecene. It shifts differently, talks differently, moves differently, but I speak that language too.

Working with metal is more like working with wax. You need to be careful with the heat you expose it to, with how roughly you twist it, how you shave things off or stick things on, and it can warp or droop or shatter the same kind of way.

I don't get that from digital art. I can't feel if the paints are thick or oily or crunchy, powdery or thin or velvet-smooth. I can see it, yes, but I haven't been able to use digital mediums to create what I want, and it wasn't until I thought about the differences that I realized that the way I create is heavily dependant on the tactile and sensory experiences, and not so much on concious choices and visual input.

I feel like we're seeing less physical art, and it's mostly fine because it's expensive and environmentally not great and exposes the artist to a lot of toxic chemicals, but like. I wonder how many artists work like me and are running into the same issues.

(Sketching is like building a snowman. Carving is like chopping carrots. Wood is like fingernails. Fabric is like wood. I don't know what the fuck my computer is telling me, but working with my stylus feels like filling out my SAT's with finger paints and a stamp pad)

[velvet-paradox]

Smooth

Pairing: Keegan P. Russ x Female reader Summary: Keegan enjoys shaving you nice and clean and taking you to pound town! Length: Medium Warnings: NSFW 18 + ONLY, explicit content, strong language, established relationship, oral (f receiving), soft dom!Keegan, shaving!kink, fingering, pussy slapping, unprotected p in v, dirty talking, pet names, new daddy!kink, praise, detailed smut. Tagging: @synnersaintaint @catswithabsoluteclownery @mykneeshurt @macravishedbymactavish @rimbut-t @notap1e

ENJOY!!!

It's hot.

Keegan is a stickler for routine, likes the discipline, the patterns, the control. He'd lose it if he didn't join the military when he did, take on more than one task a time before he picked up the next mission, the next project. He couldn't sit still for long unless he was truly into what he was doing.

And speaking of…

The project at literal hand was a delicate one.

No messing about, no distractions even though you couldn't help but move an inch higher. He'd scolded you twice now, giving you those piercing blue eyes and peeked eyebrow.

He clicked his teeth at you like a horse, raising your calf.

"Kitten please hold still, I don't want to slip."

"You think I can help it?"

"Kitten please. You're doing such a good job and we're almost done so don't you start pouting and being a bad girl now." Keegan's voice held no bite even though he was stern about it. "You want your reward don't you?"

He moved his fingers then sending a white hot jolt through up your spine.

Carefully Keegan ducked his head back down between your legs, kneeling on his cracking knees, eyes narrow and lazer focused on the task at hand which was… shaving.

Keegan was a grown ass man, he didn't shy away from knowing what he tasted like. He had you lick your own flavor off his fingers, off his cock more times than you could count. While you'd had other partners, they didn't appreciate an after kiss so when Keegan grabbed you after shooting his load all over your tongue and lips, willing licking inside your mouth as he kissed you hard and fast left you dizzy.

He didn't care about pubic in general, if he was lucky enough to get laid, who cared? He really got into that whole Vajazzling craze, rhinestones and safe glitter. Then he was on to the next and full on into waxing but there was just something so intimae about him being on his knees for you, worshipping your body, treating you with such care, he really enjoyed. Stroke after stroke, your pussy would be revealed. Soft and smooth.

You didn't mind at all, less of a chore for you anyways. Since being with Keegan you barely lifted a finger to do anything around the house, his or yours. No more twisting and squatting, no more Charlie horse cramps. No more stray hairs left behind, he bought a replica of the straight razor he used on his face. It was cleaner, faster and he knew exactly what to do with the blade.

"Fuck look at you, cutest fucking pussy." Keegan groaned, moving your skin as he slowly dragged the blade against it.

"Love it when you shave my pussy, baby. Gets me so fucking horny." You hum in return.

"Yeah? Like me revealing and exposing your pretty little cunt just for me?"

"Mmm yeah."

He tapped the little bucket with it, your short and curlies disappearing, he wiped it off cleanly. A warm washcloth came next, wiping you down. He had all of his things neatly around him, a little cup with tepid water splashed against your mound, catching little remnants.

"Turn around, kitten. We're in the home stretch now baby."

You shivered and got up from his bathroom vanity, bending over, sticking your ass out with a little sway of your hips.

"Hold yourself open for me."

Fuck. You bit your lip.

He finished shaving your pussy, the feeling of his breath on your newly bare skin, front to back as incredible. You'd never get over the feeling no matter how many times he tended to you.

Keegan waited on hand and foot for you. You'd catch yourself lost on it, how a hard man like Keegan P. Russ could be soft for you, sweet on you, brought you flowers, ordered take out when your period came so you wouldn't have to be bothered to hobble and cook and fuss over the stove.

He waited until you turned off the shower before stepping back into the bathroom with a fuzzy towel. He wrapped you up, drying you off little by little until he walked you both into his bedroom.

Completely exposed and naked, you sat down on his bed, dropping the towel to your collar.

"Let me see my handiwork, princess."

Like he'd never seen your cunt before, he stood at attention at your feet as you leaned back, the soft towel slipping down your shoulders, pooling around your hands and waist. Keeping your eyes on his as they raked over your naked body you moved one leg, then the other. "Best fucking pussy. Look at that." Keegan groaned, giving in and palming at his crotch.

"You wanna' taste it now?"

Keegan tore off his ghost mask before getting rid of his shirt, the jangle of his belt sent shivers down your spine. He grabbed his thick rod of a cock in his hand, jerking himself off, teasing himself little by little, stepping closer, eyes on your cunt.

The bed creaks with his weight, fitting himself between your legs, moving down to lay on his stomach, a snipers' position as he loops his arms around your thighs. You fit the balls of your feet on the hard, trained muscles of his shoulders.

Keegan is good. Too fucking good.

His hands are large and ghost over your bare flesh, he rubs his chin along your mound, breathing you in with a groan. He spreads your labia, chuckling lowly when you grind your hips up.

"Now now kitten, no need to be hasty. You'll get your reward."

"Keegan please."

"Begging only makes it worse," Keegan cooed and gave your hip a lingering, searing hot kiss. "Be a good girl for me, okay sweetie? You can do that can't you?"

"Yes. I'll be good."

"Do you promise?" Keegan sang, dropping his voice even lower, using his sexy bedroom tone.

"Yes baby I promise, just… it feels so good when I'm all clean."

"I know kitten, I know."

Keegan licked at you, kissing your clit lightly in between hard flat presses, quick sucks and pulls on your sensitive lips. He brushed the bridge of his nose along the underside of your clit, enjoying himself as he devoured you. The sounds he was making were pornographic and lewd. He sat up just a little, angling his face just right to spit on your pussy only to indulge in slurping it right back into his mouth.

"Fuck baby that's it. I love it when you do that," you moaned and reached for his head, tugging on his hair as you arched your back.

"Makes me so fucking wet."

"Yeah? You like that?" Keegan did it again, moving his face and mouth back and forth, back and forth over your engorging bundle of nerves. You cried out and Keegan smiled against your cunt.

"Yeah!"

Keegan chuckled. "Good girl. My good girl loves to get her little pussy eaten out, huh? Yeah you do. Fuck kitten, tease my face."

Your gasp at his vulgarness made him even more eager to please you, wiggling his thick fingers along the apex of your thighs, digging into the meat of your thighs before prodding around your hole.

You grip his hair even tighter, letting him take his time with you.

Getting you wet, satisfied little laughs that left you breathless as you wiggled and arched. In between kisses he likes to look up at your through his thick lashes, watches you unravel as you try desperately to stay still.

"You're so fucking pretty, atta' girl. Should I get my tongue in there or fingers first?"

"Fingers."

"Just my fingers?" Keegan hummed. "Or you want my mouth too?"

"Both. I want both."

"So fucking smooth." Keegan kissed everywhere but your clit after that, leaving it to throb, making you clench around the two fingers he's slipped inside you, massaging your walls. Twisting and curling them to find that soft, spongy little shell that would make you scream, make you cum.

"That's so good baby, a little faster."

"Faster? Needy little kitten." Keegan chuckled lowly, dragging out his fingers, teasing your clit with a few precise circles and presses. He tapped it a few times making you squeal. Reeling back he gave your pussy a nice little islap. Bare and all those nerve endings shocking your system. Noticing how much you enjpyed that little hit he did again and again, another string of his spit slipped between your folds.

You could feel yourself leaking for him.

"Fuck yeah baby."

"A little love tap never hurt anyone. I want you to cum, I want you to cum all over my fingers and my face. You look so pretty when you're all fucked out."

"So do you." You whined as he started to finger you again. You weren't lying, for a big cold hearted handsome man of his caliber and weight, he made the best sounds. Moaning in your ear how good you were, how warm you felt, how inviting. How beautiful you look, how sweet you taste.

How good you taste together.

"Yeah? You think Daddy's pretty?"

Wait.

What?

You swallowed and licked at the drool coming out of your mouth before you sat up, eyeing his icy blues, taken aback as you'd never called him that before. You were met with a growing smirk.

"Are you going to answer me, kitten? I said; do you think Daddy's pretty?"

God the way he said it, it really made your heart race.

"Yeah," you drawled and cupped his jaw, watching how his eyes shifted and his mouth open. "I think Daddy's real pretty."

"Fuck." That seemed to do the trick because Keegan was suddenly on top of you, kissing you hard, biting into your neck as he slipped a calloused hand between you, fingering you so deep and fast it made your head spin, moaning like a real whore.

The sounds of your wetness, flooding around his thick fingers, drenching his palm as you squealed and thrashed, clawing at the sheets was out of control. Keegan groaned deeply as he watched. You could always feel his eyes on you, in the hall, in briefings, in bed.

"Christ, you are so fucking wet. Do you hear it, kitten? Do you hear yourself? You're gonna' make such a mess, gonna' have to change these sheets."

"I'm gonna' cum."

"Tell me baby, say it. I need to hear you say it."

"I… I…"

"Yes? You what, baby?"

"I'm gonna' cum. Make me cum, please. Oh Daddy, I'm gonna' cum, cum for you."

Somehow he got you even wetter, three fingers curling and getting you off until you came with a shout. Your legs trembling, shaking at Keegan's waist as you gasped and reeled from your high.

"That's my girl, takin' those fingers real deep. So fucking pretty kitten, good job. Daddy's kitten did so good, look at you." Keegan praised and kissed your chin, taking a tiny bite of your smooth flesh before slowly pulling them out of your hole, whining as you felt empty.

"Fuck Keegan."

"Ah ah ah," he slapped your tender pussy twice making you jolt and squirm. "Get it right or you get nothing else. I could make you watch me jack off instead. Maybe I'll jerk off in front of your pretty little face, shoot my load all over it."

"No! I want you to fuck me. Please Daddy, I'm sorry. I won't call you Keegan again. Please."

He hummed and smeared your arousal all over you mound, splitting his first two digits into a V shape, rubbing around, up and down your clit. "You just want to cum again."

"Yes I do but… I want you to fuck me, I want you inside me," you huffed and grabbed at his shoulder, pawing at his trained muscles.

"Don't you wanna' fuck me Daddy? Fuck your kitten's pussy wide open. Make me gape."

"Fuck, you say the nicest shit baby. I supposed if you put it that way," Keegan agreed and gave your hip a little pinch. "Get on your knees and hold on to that headboard."

….

Your man is nasty. He has a thing about spit and cum, the only two fluids he's at all interested in. He spreads your cheeks and the spit that hits your asshole is hot, and he's hot and your hanging your head and growling behind you teeth. He fucks you hard, reaching around your hip he finds and holds on to your pussy, fitting his fingers to spread your lips open, caging in his thrusting cock.

"Feel that kitten? Daddy's thick cock is splitting you in half. You are so amazing, look at you taking my cock like this. Good job baby, good fucking job."

"Oh Daddy, you feel so good." You keened as the headboard continued its' rhythm of banging into the wall behind it. Good thing you were at his place, your neighbors would be knocking your door down or calling the police. Which has happened. Just the once.

"Oh I know kitten, feels so good for me too. Best fucking pussy."

Keegan smacked your ass and then he was hunching over you, his sweaty chest sticking to your back, not even slowing down.

Then his hand was on the back of your neck, pushing your head into the bed.

"Good job kitten, you're gonna' take all of it, ya' hear me? What a good girl you are taking Daddy's cock, what a good little slut for me."

Keegan moaned your name, pressing his mouth to your ear as he kept up the pace.

Words you lost on you the longer he fucked you, a new flood of wetness rushed through your core, milking him, sucking him back in over and over until all you could was shout into the sheets.

"What's that, kitten? Daddy can't hear you." His bicep came up and around your chin, in a chokehold as you panted and cooed and drooled.

"I want you to cum inside me," you sobbed, feeling his muscles shift under your jaw. "I wanna' feel you, feel you fill me up. Please fill me up, Daddy. Fill up your kitten."

Keegan chuckled lowly, almost menacing in your ear, sticky like honey and just as sweet. "You want it? You want Daddy's thick cum? Yeah you do and you're gonna' fuckin' get it."

[xiihyunn]

Tara Carpenter NSFW Alphabet Headcanons 2

a/n: the post got 100 notes, so here is h-p as promised :)

> masterlist → | a-g here | h-p here | q-v here | w-z here |

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

She trims her pubic hair from time to time.

She doesn't like to shave because she thinks it takes up too much time, she also doesn't wax because she doesn't know how and it's painful.

But there was this one time where Tara shaved your pussy for you, let's just say after the service you paid her something that isn't money ;)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Tara is very romantic in bed. During vanilla sex she always compliments you, never forgets to praise how such a good girl you are taking her strap in so well, and always asks you if you're with this or that.

As for rough sex, Tara is still somehow really still romantic even when fucking your brains to oblivion. She makes her dirty talks come off as 'i want to fuck your whore of a pussy good, choke you until your vision darkens, pull your hair and bite down on your neck, but you're the only girl i love in this world' type of way. She degrades you, calls you names, treats you like a fuck toy, but she does it in a way where you still feel being loved by her.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

She masturbates when you're out for your dance practices. Although she does have toys in her cabinet, she bought them for you and won't use them for her own pleasure. Tara would use her pillow that you'd sleep on, and ride the corner part, making sure it hits her clit with each hump.

Not to mention she masturbates to your panties.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Claustrophilia (having sex in a tight space), breath play, food play (Tara loves to eat food on your body), gagging, choking, overstimulation, praise and degrading kink, cunnilingus, fingering, blowjob (her strap), foreplay, and she gets super turned on by the sight of your boobs.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

As much as possible, she wants it strictly on her apartment or on your apartment. As much as she likes to try out doing it somewhere risky, Tara would be in absolute rage if someone saw you getting fucked naked underneath her.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Tara gets turned on when you're 'acting submissive' and even until now you don't know what it means.

She loves it when your body is so responsive to her touch, your small moans when she kisses you, your ragging breaths when she licks and sucks on your pulse point, your small voice telling her to continue, she loves it and it definitely gets her going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Tara would never try knife play, and she would immediately stop if you ever say the safe word.

She gets turned off when someone interrupts both of your sex time, standing up with a groan then leaving the room just to shout at her friends and even Sam, telling them that whoever knocks on her door will never see the sunlight again.

Then she continues your business with you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

She loves Oral sex, and she prefers giving than receiving. Tara is very skilled with her mouth and fingers, turning, twisting, and using them on you with ease.

And maybe if you're such a good slut for her, she'll ride your face.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on both of your moods, Tara loves them both.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Clog! (Crack)

Bayverse!Turtles x reader (Platonic)

In which the turtles and you want to show Leo how much time he actually spends meditating and training in one day, so you put together a performance.

Song: Oct! - Don’t Touch My Clogs.

Warnings: Strange music from a banger song, spelling because tired.

—------------------------------------------------

You guys had told him, and you had done so several times, but he still wouldn’t listen. Leonardo spent too much time training. When Master Splinter had told him it was becoming a little too excessive. But Leo wouldn’t listen. He would just brush your comments off before heading back into the dojo. And after one day where he skipped all meals except breakfast, and didn’t come out before the rest of you guys were about to go to sleep, you had decided it was enough. It was time to go into extremes, and show Leo exactly how much time he was spending in the dojo. So the next day, after Leo had finished breakfast and gone into the dojo, you, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo started practicing. If you guys could put on a five star performance in one day, he was definitely spending too much time in there.

After several hours, Leo finally came out of the dojo. He was sweating more than he had ever done before, and his limbs were aching. But all that was forgotten when he saw Michelangelo, standing in the middle of the lair on the raised circle with his arms crossed and sunglasses on.

Before Leo could ask what was going, music started playing, jolting Leo in shock, as Mikey started moving his shoulders and lip syncing to the song playing.

“Years before I was born, father told this to me / It was one Christmas morning in '73 / There was one lonely gift nestled under the tree / My grandfather said, Don't touch my-".

Leo stared in confusion as Mikey gradually got into the music, pointing in Leo’s direction with a sense of urgency.

“He said, Boy, listen close, I am saying this once / These were worn by my parents and their parent's parents / Now they're yours, but be sure to guard them with your life. / He said, Don't ever let them touch my clogs!"

Just as Leo was about to ask Mikey what he was doing, the chorus started up, causing Donnie to jump out of nowhere and making Leo jump in surprise once more. Leo blinked as he saw his two youngest brothers dance out a well choreographed dance on the raised circle, while both wearing sunglasses.

“You can take my cash, you can burn my house! / You could force feed trash / I'd let you kick my balls whilе I chewed on glass / Beforе I even thought about letting someone touch my clogs!”

Leo shook his head in surprise at the lyrics.

“You'll have to take my life, you'll have to steal my dog! / Have to beat my wife / You'll have to kill my mom with a rusty knife / You'll have to break my legs before I ever let you touch my clogs!”

Both Donnie and Mikey started circling while staring directly at Leo, causing his metaphorical hair to stand.

“Don't touch my / C-L-O-G-S / They're my clogs! / Whoa, oh!”

As the second verse began, Raphael jumped up on the circle, causing both Donnie and Mikey to crouch and look at him like he was a god. Leo was actually quite surprised to see Raph was in on this.

“Father said: You're my son, so I'll tell you the truth / I wore clogs without socks for the bulk of my youth / Now these clogs, they are yours, protect them with your life / I pray you never let them touch your clogs!"

And just as Leo thought it couldn’t get any stranger, you jumped in from out of nowhere, taking up the second chorus with animated arm movements, all while his brothers circled you.

“You can slap my wrist, I'd let you shave my head! / Let you wax my pits / I'd even butt-chug bleach while you twist my nips / And after all of that I still wouldn't let you touch my clogs!”

Raph lifted you up on his shoulder, while Mikey and Donnie continued to circle the two of you with their arms up in the air, continuing a more advanced version of their choreography.

“You can eat my lunch and you can knock me out / With a 1-inch punch / And make me drink your sweat from a dirty sponge / You'd have to shoot me dead before I ever let you touch my clogs”.

Raph threw you up into the air, and started an air choreography that Leo was pretty sure took a long time to put together. Everything started picking up speed, and Leo was surprised to see how well it actually was going.

“Is my purpose in life to keep them safe until my child is at least 25 / Then I will pass the clogs to them and they'll wear them with pride / And every single day from then, they'll make sure no one has touched their clogs! / They're the one thing I love, the only thing that makes me sure there's a god up above / Those wooden clogs on my feet, and they fit like a glove / And I would give up everything 'fore I ever let you touch my-”.

Raph slowly placed you back down on the ground.

“Clogs / C-L-O-G-S”.

All of you moved your attention towards the door into Splinter’s room. Leo was more than just a little surprised to see his Sensei come out with a pair of clogs held high in his hands, ever so slowly moving towards the rest of you, who were acting as if he was carrying Jesus as a child.

“Now I lay me down to sleep / I pray the Lord my clogs to keep / If I should die before I wake / I pray the Lord my clogs to die”.

Splinter now stood in the middle of the raised circle, holding the clogs high above his head, while the rest of you were circling him in the ground beneath him, continuing your complicated choreography that only continued to surprise Leo.

“You can take my cash / You could force feed trash / I'd let you kick my balls while I chewed on glass / Before I even thought about letting someone touch my clogs”.

They took turns spinning you and holding you high up in the air, all while Splinter continued to hold the clogs high in the air.

“You'll have to take my life, you'll have to steal my dog / Have to beat my wife / You'll have to kill my mom with a rusty knife / You'll have to break my legs before I ever let you touch my-”.

It ended with all of you posing in various ways, all with your attention directed towards the clogs in Master Splinter’s hands.

Leo honestly didn’t knew if he should clap or run and hide in his room. But one thing was sure, he wouldn’t stay in the dojo for half as long as he had done before.

—-------------------------------------------

A/N: This is so bad, but I’ve had this idea stuck in my head for days. I just needed it out of my system.

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi! Do you have an easy peasy guide to skincare and hygiene for depressed dummies? 😃

Hi love! Sharing a high-level, basic skincare routine and hygiene tips to follow:

Morning Skincare:

Gentle facial cleanser & water

Vitamin C serum + hyaluronic acid

Facial moisturizer

Sunscreen designed for your face (at least SPF 50 – I think that this La Roche Posay SPF 60 choice is the best option for the money)

Apply sunscreen to your hands, neck, and any parts that will be exposed to the sun (Don't forget to use an SPF lip balm, too!)

Nighttime Skincare:

Remove any makeup (I love these Simple makeup wipes!)

Gentle cleanser

Toner/serums (only use AHAs like glycolic acid or lactic acid and retinol/retinoids at night, using them during the day can increase chances of sunburning)

Facial moisturizer (can be heavier than the one you use during the day, especially in the winter or if you have dry skin)

Spot treatments (if needed)

Eye cream

Skincare Extras:

Exfoliate your face 2-3 times/week (I love the First Aid Beauty Radiance Pads but the CeraVe Renewing Salicylic Acid Cleanser is a great drugstore option!)

Always use disposable cloths instead of a regular towel on your face to reduce bacteria, breakouts, or infections (I love the Clean Skin Club ones!)

Exfoliate your body 2-3 times a week using a dry brush or a scrub (I love the CeraVe Salicylic Acid Body Cleanser, but my favorite is the OUAI Sugar Scrub) and follow it up with a hydrating body moisturizer

Always exfoliate and moisturize before shaving, waxing, or other body hair removal treatments (look up the timeframes for the type of hair removal you choose)

Scrub under your nails daily with antibacterial soap & water and a nail brush

Vaseline is a versatile staple item that can be used as an affordable alternative to an eye cream, cuticle oil, lip balm, or hand cream, and can be used to treat any dry, cracked, or rough patches on the skin

Use a hand lotion and moisturizer on your feet with socks every night before bed

Aloe vera and coconut oil are great skincare staples to keep on hand to soothe burns, irritation, or inflamed skin

Haircare Tips:

Shampoo your skull, condition the rest: Focus shampoo on your roots and work it through your scalp; concentrate conditioner on the ends and work your way up until you reach the base of your skull - around your upper ear lobe

Always comb, never brush, your hair when wet: Gently use a wide-tooth comb, from root to tip, on wet hair to prevent breakage

Use a special towel to dry your hair: My favorite is from Crown Affair (pricey for what it is but worthwhile in the long-term), but a Turbie Twist from the drugstore works infinitely better than a regular towel that weighs down and causes frizzy, damaged hair

Always use a heat protection spray before blow drying or straightening/curling your hair: (Briogeo and Oribe products are my love for all haircare products, including their blowdry creams – also love R +Co. for a heat protection styling mist)

Choose your hair ties wisely: Use seamless or silk hair ties exclusively to prevent breakage or awkward creases on your hair. Wear a silk scrunchie if you prefer. These hair ties from Amazon are my holy grail (only $7 for 100 hair ties!), and they come in a portable ziplock bag

Use dryer sheets to minimize hair frizz and water or Vaseline to slick back fly-aways

Other Hygiene Tips:

Brush teeth, floss, & skincare (2x/day); Get a water pick, too, if you can!

Use a toothbrush cover at all times; Close the toilet seat before flushing

Wash your body towels at least once a week

Wash your pillowcases weekly and sheets at least once every 2 weeks

Throw out and replace your mascara every 2-3 months

Change your underwear and socks daily or more after sweating/working out

For those who menstruate, change your pad or tampon every 3-4 hours

Vulva owners: Use a fragrance-free soap on the outside, only water to clean the inside – no fancy wipes or douching. Wipe front to back!

Wear cotton underwear whenever possible; Find a fabric that breathes

Have a similar buttocks cleansing routine that you do for your face to prevent embarrassing zits or acne

Don't shave between waxes; Use tweezers if necessary a few days after your hair removal treatment

Always wash your hands before touching your face

Hope this helps xx

[a-pocket-full-of-rodents]

And so on Judgement Day I am not worried.

What is there to fret over the presence of the divine?

And I know I have already let my grandparents bury their grandchild,

But what has ever been the harm in a little teeth and claws?

What am I if not an old portrait on a desk somewhere?

Judgement day is creeping closer and I have never felt more doomed.

Another bath should cleanse me hopelessly free of myself.

On Mondays I work at an art gallery that has exactly one hole near the ancient history section and a puddle near the impressionism.

It doesn't pay well and it makes me cry more than anything but when has art ever done the opposite? When have I been able to gaze into oils and truly admit I had not unravelled myself a thousand times over to recognise it?

And anyway this art gallery has all these sculptures and to tell you the truth I'm more of a portrait man myself but there is one that has lived through every last rendition of me yet

And he sits at the back behind a peeling gate and his artist statement is broken over with blood and small hands and he's nothing special, really, and it's silly to wax poetics about sticks in the mud

But I think I like it no more than I have grown fond of it. As every morning I touch-up the glaze and I paint him over in fresh polish and I fix up his skin with new, uncracked clay

And you know I'm standing here, a bleeding corpse with an eye for the wretched, and I wonder just how old this really is? Cuz sure, it's got the date of creation (day of mourning, day of funeral bells) right there next to it but oh god he's been sculpted and twisted so often is it even him anymore? Is any part of him whole?

When I repair the cracking in his skin what am I adding? What did I just take away? When my father scrubbed this artwork and when his father and his father and his did the same they weren't really cleaning so much as they were praying, huh? How much of this clay has been set from the beginning? How much modernism seeps in his bones?

My english teacher tells me poems aren't meant to be this long, Monty, you're meant to break them up into little words and say only the essentials so if I make a cut here and here and you can see, can't you, how condensed it now is? How much more palatable your words sound now that you aren't rushing them?

And when I went home that day and carved Eve's rib out and shaved my head and dumped my words heaved over into my sink until they clogged I think I understood. And I think, this understanding of relatability, of "is this even really a poem you're just saying things by now", I think that gave me the driving force to submit my resume

And so I think, Father, forsaken as you may be, I was not right and it was immoral and still you are wrong to deny me my wings and still you are wrong to chain my knees to your temple and god I know pretty little girls like me aren't any good for begging or howling or cursing but really when you've taken all my teeth and they've been stained a horrible shade of yellow and the tips are sharp as the claws on the lambs feet no Father I do not repent for myself and yes Father I will drag this helpless screaming body down your catacombs through my digestive track out of the gates of eden and Yes father I will love love love in anyway I can and No father I quite like my disgustingly miserable face and honestly I can't even recall what this was about and I don't know why your churches get the best architecture when there is an art gallery right next door do you see it? Do you see me? Exit stage left on the cabaret of displacement look at your beautiful lamb close your eyes and enjoy the buffet and so, in the grand scheme of things, Father, I think your prophetic day of Binaries will do me no good and I think I will skip today's pressured reinvention and then tomorrow I will wipe at my sculpture as I always do and I will wipe and scrub and clean it completely free of fingerprints of humanity of relation and I will clean this hollowed-out misshapen shell of a man as I always do as I always have and as you never cared to and Father I swear to you I will make something holy of your hands creation and I swear to you I will make something of this body. I swear to you I will not kill the one thing that I love.

On Monday mornings I take the blade and I carve myself up and on Monday evenings I take my artwork home wrapped in an almost smothering sheet.

Baths are good remedies for atheism, I have found.

And devotion is nice for Hell but really who's keeping score nowadays?

Portraits are not so good for the escapists, but there is always the chisel,

And wool on a lamb glints dark in the shadows of claws and howls.

And I do feel bad about mutilating that sweet grandchild of theirs into a burnt family portrait, I must admit.

But Jesus watches me scrub my hands till they bleed gold and he sees me puking up prayers over Sunday dinner so what's the fear in a little Religion?

Judgement day never seems to end and I am hopelessly doomed.

[studywgabi]

My Morning Routine with Body Dysmorphic Disorder

From the ages of 12 to 16, I spent 4 hours getting ready for school every weekday morning. First period started at 7:35 A.M., I woke up at 3:40 and usually arrived to class around 7:55 with an apologetic smile and a late pass. I said it was car trouble, or that my alarm hadn't gone off.

I spent the first hour-and-a-half of my day plucking my eyebrows, my temples, and my forehead up to my hairline, sitting side saddle on the sink and twisting around towards the mirror when I got tired of standing. I shaved the rest of the face from the eyes down: my cheeks, my sideburns, mustache, beard, and nose, my neck, and my ears with just water, no shaving cream. Then I spent another hour-and-a-half in the shower, turning the water on to rinse my razor and off again to shave repeatedly to try and stretch the heat as long as possible. I covered my entire body with shaving cream, painting myself white. I started with my stomach, then my breasts, my sternum, my nipples, then my sides, my underarms, my back as far up as I could reach and then my shoulders as far down, though I always missed a strip of skin above my waist. My hairline on the back of my neck, so nothing could stand up, even if I was scared. Then my arms, my hands, my knuckles, I wasn't very careful and I gave myself a few scars. Next my legs, feet, toes and pubic hair. When the water ran ice cold, I would turn it off, get out, and set up my makeup table while I waited for it to warm up again. I got back in, nicked myself a few more times, then washed my hair and body and used my prescription acne cleanser. My parents bought men's razors in bulk because I needed a new one every day. My clean skin only lasted a couple of hours, then turned into 11:00 A.M. shadow.

The next hour was makeup: sunscreen, moisturizer, primer, foundation, concealer, bronzer, contour, setting powder, blush, chapstick, lip liner, lipstick, eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara. I wasn't very good at it; it always came out cakey or racoony. I listened to music, mostly Taylor Swift or Avril Lavigne, sometimes showtunes, while I worked. Then I brushed my hair, adding some brown eyeshadow to the bald spots to make it look fuller, got dressed in my school uniform, and packed up my lunch and books in a rush. No time for breakfast and I had the early lunch period at 10:35 anyway. I'm a girly-girl. I think I would have loved makeup the way I love fashion. I think it would have been fun to experiment with new colors, new styles, new brands, my favorite actresses' recommendations.

If I didn't do this, I couldn't leave my house. So I had the flu a lot. And I never went out on weekends. My one goal in life was beauty, or getting as close to it as someone like me could. It took up everything: my time, my energy, my focus. For the rest of the day, when I wasn't grooming, I was thinking about it.

Two years later, I don't do it anymore, but I miss it. If felt so good. It was so satisfying to destroy all those little parts of myself over and over again every day. I looked forward to it. I enjoyed the routine of it; it was so familiar to me. Mondays were my favorite, when I could free myself of all the evil that had built up over the weekend. I can't stand to touch my skin now and have to remember how smooth it used to be. I've scratched myself bloody trying to find some relief.

There have been setbacks. I snuck my mother's tweezers into the bathroom a couple of times, or she left her razor lying around after she thought I'd gotten over it. If I grow my nails out long enough, I can use them. I've tried other methods- new snake oil miracle razors, every depilatory cream, waxing, threading, bleaching, free consultations for expensive laser and electrolysis.

All the adults in my life were so happy and proud of me when I stopped. I don't feel I've made any "progress" as they define it. I don't perform those behaviors anymore, but I feel even worse. I hate myself even more, I feel trapped inside my own skin. I'm not any more loved or accepted now than I was then, which was all that mattered to me.

They have no idea what it is to be hideous. They could never, ever understand what it's like to have to exist in this world in this body. To have to live with yourself and sleep at night knowing what you are. To never be a woman, to never be young, to be inhuman, your own vile, repulsive species, something completely separate than everyone around you that should be kept locked in a cage away from society. Something that should be put down for it's own good. To be some kind of animal, or beast, to be born a monster. To want to gouge your own eyes out so you never have to see yourself, to want to die because you aren't strong enough to live this way. To know that you'll spend every last moment of your whole life alone.

It was so difficult for me to accept my BDD diagnosis. I guess I still haven't. I don't "fixate on my perceived flaws," other people do. I do my best to correct my very much real flaws so that other people don't have to look at them. I didn't come up with this on my own, I didn't choose to be ill, if that's what I am, and I sure as hell didn't choose this body. I don't want to look like this, I don't want to upset people with my appearance, I don't want it to be necessary for me to do all this to fix myself, but it's just what I have to do. I accepted that, and I couldn't understand why no one else did.

Is there someone who could prove me wrong? Is there someone who could wait for me, not mind that I'm late to everything, that I always cancel plans at the last minute? Is there someone who wouldn't mind that I'm a crybaby, that I'm too particular and too sensitive? Is there someone who wouldn't mind me? There wasn't then and there isn't now and I don't think there's going to be. And as hard as I try, I can't stop needing there to be, and I can't be that person for myself.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

I saw your last post and now I need you extended opinion on beards.

Then you're gonna get them because I have Opinions on Beards.

First, if you can't grow a full beard, don't try. Wispy beards, chinstraps, patchy monstrosities, they all look like shit. Double so if you're a cutie with a babyface. That leads into number 2, which is cute boys with babyfaces should never grow beards. Seriously, you guy have insanely good looking faces. Show them off. Seeing a guy with a youthful face growing a beard always makes him look like an insecure teenager trying desperately to look like an adult. I promise you, even if you want to look older, no matter how young you think you look you will look even younger (in the bad way) if you grow a beard. Especially if you can't grow a full beard.

Beards should be groomed and maintained too, but not with beard oils or fancy waxes or any of that shit. Part of the fun of dating someone with a beard is running your fingers through it and playing with it. You can't do that when it's caked with wax because some hipster wants to twist his moustache up like he's Snidely Whiplash. And don't grow your beard out too long. It's super gross seeing people spill food in their beard all the time, and you will spill food in it if it gets too long. Plus, short hair and a super huge beard just looks weird. But! If you have a long flowing mane of hair, you can let your beard grow a bit. Embrace that viking look, and plunder the pussy (or ass) that will be unable to resist throwing itself at you.

Guys with short beards need to learn how to trim them. Never, never, never cut your beard so it just covers your chin and is above your jawline. A beard should stop around the Adam's Apple, and should cover the entire jaw. I know no one wants to be a "neckbeard", but over compensating in the other way looks even worse. And if you grow a beard? Please don't shave off the moustache. That shit looks stupid. You're not Abe Lincoln. Stop it.

[laserhairremovalindelhi]

How to Get Rid of Facial Hair Without Shaving

Removing facial hair is a common concern for many individuals seeking smooth and hair-free skin. While waxing is a popular method, it's not suitable for everyone due to pain, skin sensitivity, or personal preferences. Fortunately, there are several effective alternatives to waxing that can help you achieve the desired results without the discomfort. In this guide, we'll explore various methods for removing facial hair, focusing on techniques that are gentle, efficient, and suitable for different skin types.

Understanding the Alternatives to Waxing

Before diving into the various methods, it’s important to understand why someone might choose an alternative to waxing. Waxing can be painful, cause skin irritation, and lead to ingrown hairs. For those with sensitive skin, waxing might not be an option. Luckily, there are several alternatives that can provide smooth and hair-free skin without these drawbacks.

1. Laser Hair Removal

Laser hair removal is a popular and effective method for reducing and eventually eliminating facial hair. This technique uses laser light to target and destroy hair follicles, leading to long-term hair reduction. It's a convenient option for those looking for a more permanent solution.

Benefits:

Long-lasting results: Unlike other methods, laser hair removal offers long-term hair reduction.

Precision: Targets specific areas without affecting the surrounding skin.

Speed: Each laser pulse takes a fraction of a second and can treat many hairs simultaneously.

For more information on laser hair removal, you can visit Laser Hair Removal in Delhi.

**2. Facial Hair Removal Creams

Depilatory creams are another pain-free method for removing facial hair. These creams contain chemicals that break down the protein structure of the hair, making it easy to wipe away.

Benefits:

Ease of use: Simply apply the cream, wait a few minutes, and wipe off.

Pain-free: Unlike waxing, there is no pulling of the hair from the root.

Quick: The entire process can be completed in less than 10 minutes.

However, it's essential to perform a patch test before using these creams to ensure you don't have an allergic reaction.

3. Threading

Threading is a traditional hair removal technique that involves using a twisted cotton thread to pluck hair from the follicle level. It's commonly used for shaping eyebrows but can also be used for removing facial hair.

Benefits:

Precision: Excellent for shaping eyebrows and removing hair in small areas.

No chemicals: Ideal for those with sensitive skin.

Long-lasting results: Hair is removed from the root, so it takes longer to grow back compared to shaving.

**4. Tweezing

Tweezing involves using a pair of tweezers to pluck individual hairs from the root. While it can be time-consuming, it's highly effective for small areas.

Benefits:

Precision: Allows for precise hair removal, making it ideal for shaping eyebrows.

Cost-effective: Requires only a pair of tweezers.

No chemicals: Suitable for sensitive skin.

5. Shaving

Shaving is one of the simplest methods for removing facial hair. While it doesn't remove hair from the root, it can be a quick and painless option.

Benefits:

Convenience: Can be done quickly at home.

Pain-free: Unlike waxing, shaving is painless.

Cost-effective: Requires only a razor and shaving cream.

For those worried about hair growing back thicker or darker, this is a common myth. Hair may feel stubbly when it grows back, but its thickness and color are not affected by shaving.

6. Epilators

Epilators are electrical devices that remove hair by mechanically grasping multiple hairs and pulling them out. This method provides longer-lasting results compared to shaving.

Benefits:

Long-lasting results: Removes hair from the root, so it takes longer to grow back.

Efficiency: Can remove multiple hairs at once.

Cost-effective: One-time purchase of an epilator can last for years.

7. At-Home Laser Devices

For those who prefer the convenience of home treatments, at-home laser devices can be a great option. These devices use similar technology to professional laser treatments but are designed for home use.

Benefits:

Convenience: Can be used in the comfort of your home.

Long-term results: Similar to professional laser treatments, though multiple sessions are required.

Cost-effective: A one-time purchase compared to repeated salon visits.

For more detailed information, visit Facial Hair Removal in Delhi.

8. Natural Remedies

For those who prefer a more natural approach, several home remedies can help reduce facial hair growth over time. These methods involve using ingredients commonly found in the kitchen.

Turmeric and Milk Paste: Mix turmeric with milk to form a paste, apply to the face, let it dry, and then scrub off.

Papaya and Turmeric Paste: Papaya contains an enzyme called papain that can help break down hair follicles.

Sugar and Lemon Juice: A natural exfoliant that can help remove hair.

While these methods may not be as effective as professional treatments, they can be a gentle and natural option for those with sensitive skin.

Conclusion

There are numerous ways to remove facial hair without waxing, each with its own set of benefits. Whether you choose laser hair removal, depilatory creams, threading, or natural remedies, it's important to select a method that suits your skin type and personal preferences. For more long-lasting results, Laser Hair Removal in Delhi and Facial Hair Removal in Delhi are excellent options to consider.

FAQs

1. How long does laser hair removal take to show results?

Laser hair removal typically requires multiple sessions to achieve the best results. You might start to see a reduction in hair growth after the first session, but it usually takes 6-8 sessions for optimal results.

2. Is threading suitable for all skin types?

Threading is generally suitable for all skin types, but it can cause irritation for those with very sensitive skin. It's best to consult with a professional to see if threading is right for you.

3. Can I use depilatory creams if I have sensitive skin?

Depilatory creams can be used on sensitive skin, but it's essential to perform a patch test first to ensure you don't have an allergic reaction. Choose creams specifically formulated for sensitive skin.

4. How often should I tweeze my eyebrows?

Tweezing should be done as needed, typically every few days to maintain shape. Over-tweezing can lead to thinning eyebrows, so it's important to be cautious.

5. Are natural remedies effective for facial hair removal?

Natural remedies can help reduce hair growth over time but may not be as effective as professional treatments. They are a gentle option for those with sensitive skin and can complement other hair removal methods.

[proudaussieboomer1957]

pros + cons of getting WAXED

Pros:

+not feeling like an uncooked pork sausage rolled on the carpet in a house with nine cats for a few weeks

+the waxing lady doesn't miss massive fucking tufts of hair everywhere like I do when I shave- NO LEFTOVER KNEE-BEARD or the like straight line down the back of the thigh that I can't get because I'm too old to twist like that anymore

+smooooooooov

+can wear a dress with a neckline long er than a noose for a few weeks without having the blexh feeling

+wife gets to watch me squeal and flinch like a little bitch, she enjoys watching and I enjoy he r watching that

+pain (positive)

Cons:

+Two hundred and forty fucking dollarydoos to do my arms full legs stomach rug and chest

+performing open heart surgery with fucken tweezers on myself to remove chest ingrown hairs no matter how much I exfoliate

+have to do it on the weekend so the ovens at work don't make me sweat and upset the poor skin

+the blexh feeling always comes back after a few weeks

+being abducted by dolphins for weeks at a time when they confuse me for one of their own

[myslimdownsecret]

"🍂 Fall Craft Idea: DIY Pumpkin Spice Candles for a Cozy Gathering 🕯️"

Are you ready to welcome the crisp autumn vibes with a crafty twist? Gather your friends and create DIY Pumpkin Spice Candles for a delightful fall-themed get-together! 🎃🕯️

Fall is the season of warm sweaters, pumpkin spice lattes, and cozy gatherings. What better way to embrace it than by making your own scented candles? Here's a simple and fun craft idea that you and your friends can enjoy together:

Materials You'll Need:

Wax flakes or old candles to melt down 🕯️

Candle wicks 🕯️

Small pumpkin-shaped molds 🎃

Pumpkin spice fragrance oil 🍂

Orange and brown candle dye (or crayons) 🧡🤎

A double boiler for melting the wax 🍯

Instructions:

Melt the wax in a double boiler. If using old candles, remove the wick and any debris.

While the wax is melting, attach the candle wicks to the bottom of your pumpkin-shaped molds.

Add a few drops of pumpkin spice fragrance oil to the melted wax for that delicious fall aroma.

If you want your candles to be orange or brown, add the appropriate candle dye (or simply shave crayons of the desired color into the wax).

Carefully pour the wax into the pumpkin molds with the wicks in place.

Allow the candles to cool and harden. This may take a few hours.

Once they're completely set, pop your cute pumpkin spice candles out of the molds.

Now, you and your friends have beautiful fall-scented candles to light up your cozy gatherings. The pumpkin shape and the enticing aroma of pumpkin spice will add a touch of autumn charm to your spaces. 🎃🍂

Don't forget to enjoy some pumpkin spice lattes and autumn treats as you bask in the warm candlelight. Share your creations on social media with your friends and make it a yearly tradition. Craft, chat, and celebrate the beauty of fall together! 🍁🕯️👭👬

So, who's up for a crafty fall day with friends? Let's get creative and make this season even more special with these DIY Pumpkin Spice Candles! 🎨✨🍁 #FallCrafting #PumpkinSpiceCandles #CraftingWithFriends

[myrefersofficial]

Perfect Your Look With These Top Best Beard Styles for Men

You've been rocking that beard for a few months and it's looking a little scraggly. Time to perfect your look with one of these top best beard styles for men.

There are many different beard styles to choose from, so you're sure to find one that suits your face shape and personality. We've put together a list of the top best beard styles for men to help get you started.

From the short and neat beard to the full and bushy beard, we've got you covered. So take a look at our list and find the perfect beard style for you.

The Van Dyke

Your Van Dyke is looking a little bit rough these days.

We don't blame you for wanting to switch things up—after all, your tried and true look is starting to feel a little stale. But before you go shaving it all off, why not try one of these top best beard styles for men? We promise, there's something for everyone.

The Van Dyke is one of the most popular beard styles out there right now. It's a go-to for guys who want to keep things neat and tidy, while still having some hair on their face. The key to nailing this style is to keep the beard and mustache well-groomed and neatly trimmed.

The Short Boxed Beard

Short Boxed Beard

If you're looking for something low-maintenance, the short boxed beard is a great option. This style is tapered on the sides and trimmed shorter than the chin, making it perfect for guys who want a more polished look. It's also versatile enough to be styled in a number of ways, so you can change it up as often as you like.

The Full Beard

The full beard is the most popular style for beards right now, and it's not hard to see why. This style is versatile and can be tailored to fit any face shape.

If you're looking to go with the full beard, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. First, make sure that your beard is groomed and trimmed evenly. You'll also want to make sure that your mustache is neatly trimmed and connected to your beard.

Last but not least, make sure that you're using a high-quality beard oil and balm to keep your beard looking its best.

The Goatee

The goatee is an incredibly versatile look and is a great way to add character to your facial hair. Whether you want something natural and subtle or more defined and bold, the goatee is for you.

To get started, outline the form of your beard with a trimmer or razor. A sharp edge will help you define the lines of your goatee and keep it looking neat. Once you have the shape defined, use a brush or comb to evenly distribute the hairs. And don’t forget to apply a high-quality beard oil after, to condition your skin and make sure it looks as good as it can.

For those who want more visual impact, dyeing or highlighting the hairs in your goatee can give you that extra edge. This trend is becoming increasingly popular, so make sure you check out what colors are in right now and experiment with different shades that best fit your style.

The Balbo

The Balbo beard style is a great way to bring a modern twist to your look. It involves shaving the sides and trimming the chin a bit shorter than the mustache. The mustache should be long enough to extend beyond the corners of the mouth, and if you want a more stylish look, you can shape it into a more pointed curve.

The Balbo beard requires some maintenance and careful styling to keep it looking neat. This style works best on faces with round edges, such as square, oval or diamond faces. If you have an angular face shape, this look may not be for you. Additionally, keep in mind that this style emphasizes the lower half of the face and is therefore not recommended for those with weak or receding chins.

The French Fork

Looking to make a statement? Then why not try the French Fork beard style? This wild and eye-catching look is all the rage right now and gives off serious, sophisticated vibes. It’s basically just a long, full beard that’s split into two strands or “forks.” My top tip for rocking this style is to use beard oil, wax and a comb to shape the two forks so that they reach the same length.

It’s ideal for those with longer beards and works best on thicker hair. Just remember, maintenance is key with this one—give it regular trims to ensure it looks neat and don't forget to comb and brush it regularly to untangle any knots. With some patience and practice, you can totally achieve this look at home (just make sure you have good lighting and the right tools).

Conclusion

So now that you know about the different types of beard styles for men, it's time to find the right one for you! Take a look at the gallery and find the style that is right for your face shape and hair type. Don't be afraid to experiment a little to find the perfect style for you. And remember, a well-groomed beard is a key part of any man's look!

Original source: https://bityl.co/Gpts

[lemonandlime22]

Part 10 Randomly Generated incorrect Quotes ( Twisted Wonderland I First years) ✨double the quotes✨ (one was changed)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epel: Oh man, you have any shaving cream? Grim: No, I don't like the way that it tastes. Epel: Wait... you eat shaving cream? Grim: No. Why would I eat it if I don't like the taste.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuu: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a. Epel: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Ace: Fuck you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grim: How are you today? Yuu: Please don’t make me think about my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ace: How did you break your leg? Jack: Do you see those porch stairs? Ace: Yes. Jack: I didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grim, setting down a card: Ace of spades. Deuce, pulling out an Uno card: +4. Epel, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you! Sebek, trembling: What are we playing?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuu: I lost my fish, can you help me find it? Grim, cooking the fish: What? I couldn't hear you, please speak up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epel: There's no way they like me back. Ace: Yuu would throw themself in front of a moving car for you. Epel: Yuu would throw themself in front of a moving car for fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grim: We need a way to lure in new customers? Sebek: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events! Epel: Jack bath water. Jack: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuu: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deuce: I'm not that stupid! Sebek: Deuce, you literally ate the wax from a babybel. Deuce: GRIM TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epel: Hey Jack? Jack: Yeah? Epel: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false? Jack: Jack: ...What.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grim, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grim, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ace: Epel is taking credit for Yuu's work, getting them to deal with everything, and making fun of them! You know what they sounds like? Jack: You? Ace: No, I meant... You know Yuu. In spite of being clever and sarcastic, they’re also... fragile and weird and they have trouble fitting in. And Epel is taking advantage of their weakness! You know what that’s called? Jack: A Ace? Ace: ...Yeah, but I’m the only one who should be allowed to do that, okay?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[otvlanga]

Do you have any thoughts on hygiene habits of Tamriel?

OKAY SO, I am very passionate about the idea that people in Tamriel are NOT dirty. I'm nowhere near an expert on TES lore and stuff, so everything I'm listing are just personal headcanons for a few parts of Tamriel.

Of course bathing habits will vary within different areas, but I genuinely believe that good hygiene is practiced thoroughly and frequently, regardless of social status and class.

I don't know much on soap making, but most of Tamriel's soap would be made of lard (or other animal fats and oils) and lye, and scented with various plant extracts if you have the extra coin for it. Commoners and middle/lower class citizens would likely only bathe once a week unless working a dirty job, and those of more noble status would probably have the luxury to a bath every other day, or even daily.

Magical Alchemy is also a thing in TES, so I don't doubt the possibility of body washes, perfume, and antiperspirant solutions or potions. There's also clearly sewer systems and some sort of knowledge of plumbing, so I like to think the really rich assholes would possibly have running water in their homes. Especially in Markarth, where Dwarven technology and architecture is at their fingertips.

I refuse to believe people in Skyrim are yucky. Nords are modeled after Vikings, who were notorious for having excellent hygiene (for the times, anyway) and many Viking graves have things suck as tooth picks, hair combs, nail trimmers, etc. in them. People in more rural areas like Kynesgrove, Rorikstead, Shor's stone, etc. wouldn't have as much every-day access to luxuries like quality soap or clean water, (especially during the Civil war) so they might be generally a little bit “dirtier.”

Places like the Summerset aisles and Cyrodiil would be probably be much more hoity toity about bathing and taking care of the body, with things like lotions, moisturizers, creams, scented oils, and hair butters being common household items among people of all social statuses. I feel like Altmer would definitely take milk baths in attempts to further slow signs of ageing, and probably pour healing potions into bath water to rid themselves of any “flaws” like cuts, scrapes, bruises, and blemishes. 

Some parts of Tamriel may even use sugar waxing for body hair removal, or have specially crafted razor blades for shaving. Probably more common in Summerset, as I can’t see Nords giving a fuck about shaved legs when it’s -10 degrees and snowy, or Dunmer when they get coated in ash wherever they go anyways. 

Khajiit would be VERY meticulous with hygiene and cleanliness, considering they’re covered in fur. Tics, mites, and fleas could become a serious problem and easily transmit sickness. The hot climate of Elsweyr would also be a BREEDING GROUND for diseases, especially in the rain forests. Fur and manes would be brushed twice daily, in the morning upon rising and at night before laying down to sleep. Braids and twists would be common hairstyles for convenience, and claws would be regularly filed. They probably make scrubs and soaps out of Moon Sugar and cocoa butter. Sleek, shiny fur is highly sought after, with Elsweyr and neighboring countries being notorious for their excellent hair care products. 

As said above, those living in more tropical/warm climates like Hammerfell, Valenwood, Summerset, and Elsweyr would have easy access to things like coconut oil, cocoa butter and shea butter, which would all be used for moisturizing and hair care. Minus Valenwood mostly, because of the green pact.

Dunmer would likely come up with a lot of neat ways to use ash and charcoal for things like face masks, exfoliating scrubs, and even antioxidant/antibacterial ointments. Pumice stones for scrubbing and exfoliating the skin too! Soap made from sload oil and the fresh ashes of Red Mountain would likely be highly sought after in other provinces for it's rumored healing properties, and probably makes many Dunmer merchants stinkin' rich. Mud masks from Black Marsh are also credited for their rejuvenating and detoxifying benefits.

I don’t headcanon the Argonians as using many soaps frequently, as their scales can be very sensitive and dry out easily, which would cause painful rashes. They also spend a lot of time in water daily anyway, and likely wouldn’t need to use soap often unless they were going for a dive in a nasty swamp and needed to do some serious scrubbing. Their resistance to disease would likely ease any fears about getting sick from bacteria and dirt, and I’m 100% sure any human that isn’t careful while visiting Black Marsh would probably catch a deadly disease and die horrifically from what Argonians would call a common cold. I do see them using a wide variety of mud masks though, and likely have spas with fish that help pick off old, dry, and cracked scales. Sort of like those weird fucked up fish pedicures we have.

[pynkhues]

Thoughts on chest hair?

I dated a guy for a while who shaved it, and it definitely made me appreciate guys who just left it alone, so yeah, I like it! And I think I like it more as I get older tbh.

I've actually kinda been getting whiplash lately in terms of chest hair, which is not a sentence I ever thought I'd type, hahaha, but it's because my viewing at the moment has been penduluming between watching Siesta Key with a friend, where the guys are so waxed and groomed they look like they've been popped out of plastic, and being in the 70s and 80s for @theoscarsproject, which was a couple of decades that uh, embraced chest hair to put it mildly, haha.

It's actually been making me really fascinated with how sexless blockbusters are these days (70s and 80s blockbusters are horny!!) and the trickle down effect that that has on male body image and sexuality in general. I think there's a straightforward link to be made between action stars, particularly in the MCU, shaping the way certain men want to look, and I think there are a lot of implications with that which I won't get into here, but I will say that I'm always curious about the chasteness of those movies these days and about what that triggers subconsciously in terms of sex appeal.

Hell, not just sex appeal, but masculinity and sexuality and body image, because y'know, that overpolished, overgroomed sort of look is really designed to pander to the male gaze, not the female gaze. It's almost a twisted up sort of Nietzsche Übermensch ideal that feeds off a lot of men's insecurities and into a culture of big, alpha male pack approval.

Men like to think these sorts of looks are for women, but really they're for other men.

It reminds me of a guy I used to work with about six years ago. We were both working at an arthouse cinema, but he had a second job as a stripper and he would often be getting ready for the latter as I was locking up the projectors. We'd end up talking a lot about body image while we did, and he was someone who definitely felt the pressure to look a certain way, and took steroids to do so, and even he acknowledged that he cared more about what his brothers and male friends thought he looked like than his girlfriend or the women he performed for, which was pretty fascinating to me.

The patriarchy! A prison for us all!

Anyway, that was a huge tangent, hahahah. Yes, I like chest hair, but I'm lowkey fascinated by the men who don't.

Ask me for my thoughts on things!