#shakingwhispers

[soulfulreverie]

One of the habits I came to learn over the years is the art of understanding when it's time to leave; to walk away from where I am not wanted. Yet, truth be told, this was no simple feat for me; I used to hold on tightly on things, unwilling to let go. But one day, I snapped out of it and realized that that is not what I deserve.

Then, we met...after years of waiting and missed opportunities. We met, and just like that, you became a hard habit to break. I know where we stand, you and me. So, tell me, how do I leave when I know I am wanted, I just am not the only one?

s.a., caffeine thoughts #3

[artificialmonsters]

I’m always kissing you like it’s the last time / Always hesitating, stuttering, stumbling over my words / Trying to make the moment perfect / Thinking this time it has to be perfect / Because the thought of anything less is unbearable / How do I reconcile myself to the fact that I will never have this back / This moment where the light is hitting your face just right / Where your eyes are squeezed shut and I want to hold you for just a minute longer / Stay a little while / Stay just long enough to feel like I have made the most of this precious time / I have to know that I’ve loved you right / That I’ve tried / That I’ve been stubborn and unwilling to settle for lukewarm / That I felt the weight of our lives and tried to carry them anyway / Kept the heaviest memories in my pockets like stones / Promised myself to skip them over the water later / There has to be space for more 

[yoursdelilah]

@eloquencenet event: nature

I am tired of being a skyscraper, ONLY WILD THINGS OUTLIVE THEIR BONES

[theprocast]

Would it really come—the day when my heart does not ache with the thought of you anymore?

s.a.,  of curiosity drenched in wine

[sprawl2writes]

you used to hear them singing at night

when is a breath a breath--when is it a cry for help? i think i found the line. when she screams i bolt. i leave the house in just my socks. it’s raining. i go to the creek to watch it overflow. it swells like a wound with pus and i think about all the frogs that used to live here, so many you could scoop them up in buckets, wet, soft, docile.  the frogs are gone now. i don’t know where. i think my breath is a cry and my cry is for help.  i left the door swinging open, summer drowning the air.  cool indifference spilling onto the front step. when is my body a body and when is it a knife slicing through the frantic dusk? somewhere in the house my mother sits on a ruined throne. she is calling out. we cannot hear eachother.

[sollozas]

la llorona  - l.cortez

[anddorigo]

useless loving / (no)stalgia

the past fucking stinks of strawberries and cinnamon, engraved eternal into my lips. and even i

know that nostalgia is a filthy liar, but oh lord does she sing so siren-sweet, and she looks so stupid pretty,

silhouetted soft against the peeling tang of bedroom roof and wall.

nights: i check beneath my tongue for scratches & i sleep crooked, still curled around an empty space.

the past lingers littered like the sand throughout the bed we loved-loud in (sewn together and unsewn);

she kisses me goodnight with a throatful of thorns and endless seaweed. she kisses me

with an unholy, wretched, god-loving tongue thrust down this shallow

throat, and oh god, does it remind me of you.

[vicious-glitter]

Landscapes i [a series] // Sunnie Lyca

[heartmagician]

by Lydia Havens

[jupiterreed]

I practice the routine of clenched throats, hitched breaths and hands that fall just short of the wasp. Last December you told me that my mouth on top of yours feels like wearing a gas mask and I burned sixteen love letters written in my saint’s name. Can you picture the recoil? This home was built on slave labor, burnt toast trauma, apparitions of starlit ghosts in the mirrors, thistle spills from our shared bathtub, you keep the fear buried dead bird-like within the open grave of your ribcage and promise me that we’ll be better for it. Awaiting the worst storm of the year once it’s been forecast is like slamming the accelerator & barreling headfirst into oncoming traffic. That summer I shattered the porch light and you buttoned your shirt with stubs of cherry, watermelon seeds, almond shells. That summer we were unnamed and gargoyled out front for our neighbors to pick clean.  We left each other’s bodies unwittingly, like a soldier who’d gotten his foot blown off in the war & been ordered to return home. Why lose a limb for a lost cause? At night I swore I felt the shoulder blade of the moon digging into my spine. We left our baby teeth on a weighing scale outside with the sleeping cattle, repurposed the garden until it emulated the bruises that amble over your left knee & my proclivity for dirty sinkwater. 

We left our dreamscape untamed & it ran wild. 

the final stage of decay || j.r

[soulfulreverie]

I would often find myself thinking of you and how you resemble the waves of the sea— for each time I think I almost had you, you recede back to where you came from.

s.a., caffeine thoughts #2

[softstained]

FUNERAL FLOWERS, by laetitia k.

[theprocast]

There may be many things that you wished you did differently in your life but don’t be hard on yourself because some of those aren’t meant to be regretted. Here are 9 things that you could have done that you should never regret doing: 1. Don’t regret falling in love with the wrong person. At first, you would literally feel that you are stupid for even investing plenty of emotions to them at all, that you’ve just wasted your valuable time when you could have cut them out of your life the moment you’ve seen the little red flags but here’s the thing, you are meant to fall in love with the wrong person before you finally become the best partner you are also wishing to have. A relationship that did not work out is learning that you did not want to hear at the time. 2. Don’t regret leaving people who are unhealthy for you. Toxic people can do great damage to you physically, emotionally, and mentally so do not ever feel sorry for walking away from them. They’ve already done enough, don’t let them continue to destroy YOU. 3. Don’t regret failing. Be it in different kinds of relationships or business, you should never regret failing. Instead, be proud of yourself because failing indicates trying and trying is as always, a good thing. With failure comes a learning experience, maturity, skills, resilience, and new knowledge. You may have bled and gained wounds but have you ever thought how effective is growth without working to achieve it? 4. Don’t regret taking a break. Taking a break is something you don’t think you need, but you do. If you don’t, you might erode productivity, lose focus, dampen creativity, diminish enjoyment, act like an alien, and eventually burst. Don’t regret taking a break because there are times in life that taking a break is necessary to recharge, to see things clearly, and to just breathe. 5. Don’t regret staying at a job you dislike. Even though you are fully aware that you deserve to work somewhere that makes you feel satisfied and fulfilled, sometimes you are forced to stay at a job because you need the money. That is no secret to everyone but sometimes, the best thing to do is tough it out until you already have the means to change your situation. Some times staying at a job you dislike has surprising benefits such as learning more about yourself and your limitations, you learn to resist, fight, and struggle against your job, and a lot more. Sometimes, staying in a bad position is necessary for you to pave a road to the best one. 6. Don’t regret taking a risk. The unknown could be scary, thrilling to some. But taking a risk is something you should not regret because only by then would you be able to go out of your comfort zone and see different horizons you have never seen due to the position you were in. No matter the outcome, you will surely grow and continually become resilient and confident. 7. Don’t regret spending some time alone. Being alone does not necessarily mean you are lonely. And sometimes, the greatest thing you could do to yourself is to spend some “me” time. Reward yourself of simple pleasures of life. 8. Don’t regret facing your fears. Honestly, you don’t need to conquer every fear that you have. But it is important to do so from time to time to slowly gain control over things that are manipulating you. Your fear of heights gets in the way of your hiking trip with your closest friends but if you deal with it, you now have one fear crossed in your “fear list”, you gained a new surprising adventure, and you obtain a feeling that you could do anything you want. Who would regret that? 9. Don’t regret giving second chances to people. You are not wrong for giving something or someone a second chance but one thing to keep in mind is that not everybody deserves it. And if they wasted that chance, remember that you are not to blame. Wasting it is their decision and not yours. But if you gave someone a second chance and they wasted it, then you gave them another chance, that is something you would regret because by then, you should know better. You shall never regret your past decisions because, in some way, you’ve benefitted from it. You are where you are because of it. Everything happens for a particular reason that we might not know as of now but there is a grand design He is preparing for us that we don’t realize. Give things a try and always see the good in every bad.

[sprawl2writes]

forever isn’t just a word. i know that now. i want to remember you the same way the dawn cracks open the field, golden, fleshy, like a piece of fruit. all violets and clover blooming from the hollow places. all life tumbling in the grass. this is how i know that these times won’t last: it all feels too precious. sitting on the floor by your bed trying to comprehend that this is your hand and i’m holding it. i think about lifelines. i think about how one day you’ll let go of my hand for the last time. i’m a glass cabinet full of china plates. just trying to do whatever i can so that when you look back on now you won’t feel the aching parts. the sun without its blistering burn. our pasts will be stretched and sweet like taffy and we’ll call these the good old days. i’m trying to be the bandaid but god, i am still bleeding.

[girlbruised]

I am hellbound and he welcomes me with a tailor-made torture of sharp teeth and a crooked smile. Is it the way his breath is hot against my neck, that distracts me  while his fingers wrap around my aching heart, or how the taste of his kisses linger on the  curve of my mouth after he breaks me apart for fun?

m.d.g / how many times can I convince myself that love is supposed to be dangerous?

[compllexes]

here is how it begins:

the surge deep inside your chest, the soft but sure sound of waves crashing in the distance, riding towards you. at first it’s too far for you to grasp, to see, but as it happens, as the scenes unfold, you feel it shudder and rise to its feet inside you, and the softness turns into a steady hum.

the hum doesn’t last for long, and this is what happens next:

when the choreography and the words soar, so do the waves inside you. the hum zooms into focus, and it becomes a crash – the warmest, most uplifting kind, the kind that gives you wings. you can’t capture the instant it happens, because it’s too quick and elusive, but the warmth stays with you the rest of your life. it finds a home inside of you, and it becomes a kind of strength.

after the tides subside, it’s like wonder and awe and reverence and triumph and disappointment all want a piece of you, so characteristic of the selfishness of feelings. and you don’t know what to do or where to begin, so you sit there and lose yourself in the glorious cacophony, in the crests of the curving waves. you suddenly ache for the eloquence of poets – to lend language to this sound, to untangle the tides crashing in you.

here is how it begins, with the calm before the storm. sometimes, grief comes knocking at the door, drenched in rain and shivering, and asks for your hospitality. sometimes, joy marches outside in the july sun wearing parade clothes and an unforgettable smile. sometimes, nostalgia sits next to you and tells you a story about the good in goodbyes. 

and sometimes, if you’re lucky enough and open enough, the waves become an embrace and something awakens inside you, an all-consuming light, like you just swallowed sunshine. you think there are flowerbeds in your bones, and gold in your veins. you think you are fuller than you ever were before, full with feeling. you think, holy shit. i’m waking. 

and sometimes, all those love songs might just come close enough to encapsulate this blooming.