#shadowheart slander

[nerdmutant]

you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

unless you're shadowheart

in which case you miss 50% of the shots you DO take

[megaerastanblog]

shart when i catch you shart

[yappacadaver]

STOP!!!! TAKING AN IRON TO HIM!!!!!!!! LEAVE HIS WRINKLES ALONE

[sorcerous-caress]

True werewolf vs vampire situation: Werewolf Shadowheart cucking Astarion. Oh you let them drink from your blood? Well I marked them they're my mate now (I don't even know what I'm saying anymore I'm just horny) - Shadowheart anon

First Gale getting cucked by Minthara for being a male wizard.

And now Astarion is getting cucked by Shadowheart for not being a sigma alpha werewolf chad.

I love the vibes we have created in this house.

Astarion going to bite your neck in your sleep only to stop in his tracks when he notices a bite mark already there. One with very clearly non-human teeth. This was the last thing he ever expected.

He is actually unsure what to do...does he just scoot over with his mouth or?

Eh, whatever it will be fine. What's the worst that could happen?

Astarion, inserting his sippy straws into sleeping Reader's neck, directly above the other bite mark: :3

Reader, weirdly not phased by being bitten in their sleep: mimimi honk shoo mimimi ZzzZzzZ

Shadowheart, standing directly behind Astarion with a mace, about to give him a free lobotomy: >:(

Maybe the mate bite acts like a car alarm but in dog whistles or something. Shadowheart wakes up in cold sweat the second she feels her Mate is in danger.

Frantically looking around only to see the local camp twink up to some midnight mischief.

Twilight would've ended much sooner if Jacob had a mace. That's all I'm saying.

[vorestarr]

so i noticed when playing the epilogue that illithid Tav wants to eat brains, but the specific part of the brain they want to eat depends on the character, so i looked through the parsed dialogue and compiled all of them!

which part of each brain a mindflayer Tav would savor:

Astarion: "Astarion's sweet brain may be less wrinkled than the rest, but you hunger for its teasing cells. His parietal lobe - which controls his sense of touch - will be an aphrodisiac in your maw."

Gale*: "You would save his temporal lobe for last, if you were to eat Gale. Language. Learning. Memory. He must have quite the fine example."

Halsin: "Every time Halsin speaks of balance, your thoughts cannot behave. You only dream of what his cerebellum tastes like, when it sends the signals to his vestibular system to keep him from wobbling."

Jaheira: "Weary Jaheira. Over time, her stresses may have shrunk her hippocampus, making its taste more intense."

Karlach: "You consider Karlach's brain stem - the stalk meant to regulate her body's temperature. Will it come pre-cooked?"

Lae'zel*: "Lae'zel's motor cortex - that which controls her fine movements - will be harshly disciplined. That will make her especially chewy - just how you like a cortex to be."

Minsc: "There are cruel rumours spread, that Minsc may once have suffered injury to his brain. You could set the slander right at last - tell the world every bite was perfect."

Minthara: "With all Minthara's hate, you wonder if her cerebro-spinal fluid will be bitter to sip?"

Shadowheart: "Think of Shadowheart's cerebellum, which controls her dextrous hands. Any ritual caster must have a tightly commanded hindbrain."

Wyll: "Wyll's frontal lobe, which processes his judgement and measured words, would be a delicacy befitting his nobility." (Or "fit for a Grand Duke" if that was his outcome.)

(*You can't eat god-Gale's or astral-projection-Lae'zel's brains.)

[egooppidum]

full ceremorphosis!Durge comments about the brains of the companions that he is going to eat.

Narrator: *You shall dine well tonight.*

Narrator: *Wyll's frontal lobe, which processes his judgement and measured words, would be a delicacy fit for a Grand Duke.*

Narrator: *Wyll's frontal lobe, which processes his judgement and measured words, would be a delicacy befitting his nobility*

Narrator: *Think of Shadowheart's cerebellum, which controls her dextrous hands. Any ritual caster must have a tightly commanded hindbrain.*

Narrator: *Astarion's sweet brain may be a bit less wrinkled than the rest, but you hunger for its teasing cells.*

Narrator: *His parietal lobe - which controls his sense of touch will be an aphrodisiac in your maw.*

Narrator: *Every time Halsin speaks of balance, your thoughts cannot behave.*

Narrator: *You only dream of what cerebellum tastes like, when it sends the signals to his vestibular system to keep him from wobbling.*

Narrator: *You would save his temporal lobe for last, if you were to eat Gale.*

Narrator: *Language. Learning. Memory. He must have quite the fine example.*

Narrator: *With all Minthara's hate, you wonder if her cerebro-spinal fluid will be bitter to sip?*

Narrator: *Weary Jaheira. Over time, her stresses may have shrunk her hippocampus, making its taste more intense.*

Narrator: *There are cruel rumours spread, that Minsc may once have suffered injury to his brain.*

Narrator: *You could set the slander right at last - tell the world every bite was perfect.*

[gracelessx97]

Shadowheart: No one can know that I’m a disciple of Shar. It���s top secret.

Also Shadowheart: *slanders Selûne out loud every single chance she gets*

[y-rhywbeth2]

First encountering that quest where you try and sabotage the press for attempted slander as Durge was simultaneously disappointing and hilariously relieving. I don't remember why but I thought I was going to get outed as the spawn of Murder and/or a serial killer, but no, it was just made up scaremongering. I also assumed that the bad press would be origin specific or include everyone. idk why, but like slandering Wyll for his infernal pact painting him the way his father sees him, outing Astarion as a vampire, Shadowheart as a Sharran, 'have we mentioned the wizard is a walking bomb?'

Also the fact that you can actually give them factual shit about your murders and hobbies to expose you with and the response is just 'what the actual fuck is wrong with you.'

(Then he refused to print it for being too gory, so they all had to die. Gortash, do better with your schemes please. I'm making a list of improvements for you.)

[blkgirl-writing]

hey i’m a bit embarrassed because this is the first i’ve ever asked for something like this, but in terms of bg3 fic i think dwarven tavs are super under represented lmao i’d love to see something written for an afab dwarven tav, a lady who is short and stocky and strong!!!! i’m a gale enthusiast but honestly any ideas you may have of like, how the different companions accommodate the difference in body type would be cool :)

you’re work is phenomenal btw!!

Do NOT be embarrassed, anon! This is a beautiful ask and i'm more than happy to make these. I'm sorry they're shorter, I'm more than happy to expand later I'm just out of brain power and have 200+ requests atm!

Fem!Dwarven reader x Baldurs Gate 3 Companions

Astarion

Astarion fucks and he knows how to handle anyone of any shape, size, race, and much more

so he's not phased and treats you no differently, really. And in a way it's nice to not get any special special treatment, though how experienced he is, everything seems like special treatment

I also think dwarves value strength over looks and because of that Astarion wouldn't feel the pressure to seduce as much as normal

Shadowheart

I think shadowheart has a little bit of a bias sometimes, like something or someone she sees as weak may not get her full attention, so some may think she'd e a bit...racist, but NO, she knows how hard dwarves work and how fierce they are in battle and immediately knows she's in safe hands

She may ask a few questions about your history on the battlefield if you have any, power is definitely a huge turn on for her so

to kiss she would get down on your level by kneeling down

Gale

Gale just wants love and sex tbh he'd be unphased and probably into dwarves

I mean he is a wizard who fucks and reads books on fucking in his spare time, are those books really only going to be focused on humans and stuff? nah those books go deep into anatomy on all races

We but he's also just a sweetie and would love to be the big spoon and have room to share his bedroll with you, etc

Wyll

Being the prince charming he is, you're his pretty little princess and will pamper you as much as possible

he doesn't see you as anything but the strongest woman in the world that he also wants to make everything easier for

my mans will go out of the way to be your biggest advocate

he will NOT take slander or racism towards you as a dwarf, even though you could handle it yourself, he just wants you to feel protected, even if really, you protect him more than anything

Karlach

I'll be real karlach will toss you a lot

one time she literally just carried you on her right shoulder for like three hours because your feet got sore, it was wild, you kinda just stayed there because how long could she actually carry you? the answer was forever, but you got sore from sitting for too long so you asked her to put you down

she was kinda disappointed

"awe, we were having so much fun you and i!"

I feel like she'd also pick you up and twirl you around when she's super super happy

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Tag list, tell me if you want to be added!

@shyminnie07 @makers-breath @claryvoyantfray @black-sapphic

[mermaidsirennikita]

A few people have asked me for the recs that come with my historical romance archetype quiz in full, and since it's been around a week and I've been procrastinating.... Here they are, in order of popularity (check your triggers, as always):

The Good Guy (by far the winning result... which saddens me a little as a reader but I respect your life and your choices):

Unclaimed by Courtney Milan--virgin hero, sex worker heroine, he's a genuinely lovely man

Scandal in Spring by Lisa Kleypas--a lot of people like Matthew Swift, I like Matthew Swift, there's a very good scene where she hides a key in her bodice and is like COME FIND IT

My Fake Rake by Eva Leigh--gender-flipped She's All That retelling with a nerdy hero who fake dates his equally nerdy friend while being super in love with her

Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian--this blurs into a rake vibe, but the hero is a disaster bi who falls in love with his new best friend, only to find out that said best friend is not a man but in fact AFAB and NB; there is a delightful scene in which he watches them from across a ballroom while they pull their glove off with their teeth that lives rent-free in my head

Gentleman in the Streets, Freak in the Sheets:

The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe--THEEEEEE PRIME EXAMPLE, "I'm going to cover you in bite marks, darling" Duke of Lockwood I'm your biggest fan

The Duke Who Knew Too Much by Grace Callaway--the one where the duke is like "oh my god girl I didn't murder anyone I'm just into tying people up consensually"

Waking Up with the Duke by Lorraine Heath--the one where the hero's cousin asks the hero to knock up the cousin's wife and the hero is like "I mean because you asked nicely"; SUPREME angst

The Earl I Ruined by Scarlett Peckham--uptight earl is slandered by the heroine who insinuates that he likes submitting in the bedroom; incorrect, he actually wants to tie her tf up

The Truth About Cads and Dukes by Elisa Braden--marriage of convenience with the world's most uptight duke and a heroine who thinks he finds her plain and fat and gross when in fact he mostly just spends his time restraining himself from doing nasty things to her

Villain Recs:

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas--because you gotta, though St. Vincent is a softer touch villain than some ("he wouldn't have actually... done it... riiiight?")

Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt--a kidnapping loony tunes hero who blackmails everyone, stabs freely, and calls the heroine the wrong name for like 70% of the book; he also stabs someone while completely naked except for his pink robe

The Dragon and the Pearl by Jeannie Lin--Tang Dynasty evil warlord hero kidnaps heroine to use her for information, then realizes he's falling in love

Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale--medieval assassin hero forces the heroine into marriage for his evil plot, makes her his apprentice in evil, then realizes he SUUUUPER likes it when she doms him

The Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe--hero owns a casino and becomes the rebellious heroine's mentor, but is secretly plotting to destroy her father

Daring and the Duke by Sarah MacLean--hero was the villain of two previous books and maybe tried to kill the heroine when they were kids, either way she's super mad about it but oops he's OBSESSED with her

Tortured Hero Recs:

My Darling Duke by Stacy Reid--hero has had to use a wheelchair due to mobility issues after an accident, becomes very reclusive and angsty, until he finds out the heroine has been pretending to be engaged to him...

Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas--Derek Craven was born in a drainpipe, named himself, and essentially was a sex worker until he made his way up in the world, now feels completely not good enough for the intrepid novelist who's stolen his heart

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall--hero has survivor's guilt and chronic pain + a laudanum addiction after surviving the Battle of Waterloo when his best friend died... twist is that his best friend faked her death so that she could transition and live as who she really is, and now they met up again for the first time in years without him realizing it's her

Pippa and the Prince of Secrets by Grace Callaway--scarred hero reunites with his childhood sweetheart, who's now widowed and way above him in social station... but she's also tortured, and they come to find solace in each other (also: her old husband told her that pursuing her desires was wicked; hero DISAGREES)

Duke of Midnight by Elizabeth Hoyt--literally Georgian Batman, he is the night, also he has a home gym

The Duke I Tempted by Scarlett Peckham--super tortured duke who hides his masochistic tendencies from the world enters into a marriage of convenience with a woman he believes will reject him if she realizes what he wants

A Rogue by Any Other Name by Sarah MacLean--local man who lost his inheritance and land in a game of dice shows up again after years and forces his childhood friend to marry him so that he can reclaim WHAT IS HIS!!! (both the estate and her)

Rake Recs:

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean--prototypical rake book, Ralston is all "my God woman, binding your breasts is a crime and I am here to save them"

The Duke and the Lady in Red by Lorraine Heath--this guy's mom literally shows up at his house and is like "please tell me you've cleaned this place since the last orgy"; he then gets taken in by a con woman and learns how to love

The Lady Gets Lucky by Joanna Shupe--hero's not taken seriously by anyone because he's such a playboy; he makes a deal to teach the shy heroine sex stuff in exchange for recipes so he can start a SUPPER CLUB and prove himself as a Srs Person

A Rake's Guide to Seduction by Caroline Linden--hero is a ne'er do well rake who realizes he's fallen for his best friend's little sister right when she's proposed to by another man; years later they meet up when she's a depressed widow, and he brings her to life if you know what I mean

Indigo by Beverly Jenkins--hero is a VERRRRRYYYYY smooth rake who also helps free enslaved people in the Underground Railroad, gets the shit beaten out of of him and ends up being cared for by the quiet and practical heroine; and he's like "HOLY SHIT SHE'S THE ONE"

Scot Recs:

When A Scot Ties the Knot by Tessa Dare--heroine makes a Big Mistake and ends up having to marry the gruff hero, but it's only a handfasting so as long they don't consummate the marriage it won't be legit--SIMPLE ENOUGH

When a Girl Loves an Earl by Elisa Braden--heroine becomes obsessed with local giant man, doesn't even realize he's Scottish until she's trapped him in marriage and he drops the English accent and it is a RIIIIIDE for her from there

The Taming of a Highlander by Elisa Braden--heroine ends up having to marry physically and emotionally scarred hero in order to avoid testifying against him, he's all "YE WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE ME LASS" and she's like "oh bet"

The Highland Guard series by Monica McCarty--medieval Scottish books "what if Robert the Bruce made a Suicide Squad and they were all hot"

The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie by Jennifer Ashley--widow heroine ends up in a FWB situation with the hero, who is on the spectrum and considered "mad" by many; then shit gets complicated

When a Girl Loves an Earl by Stacy Reid--heroine gets pregnant by another man and runs to Scotland to marry this guy she's been writing platonic letters to; he agrees to claim her baby; hero is mute and they communicate through written notes at first, but the heroine learns sign language to make it easier for him, super emotional

[grief-worn]

"Shadowheart, why are people calling you a fish? I was led to believe that you couldn't swim."

Word spreads fast, apparently. One might think these idiots would have more important issues to concern themselves with, between cataclysmic cosmic horrors and cortex-chomping worms wriggling about their skulls, but it seems even the best and brightest among them can't resist a spot of good gossip.

"I can't swim." Shadowheart snips, attempting to funnel all her attentions into the scroll pinched between fingertips. "It was merely a joke coined by that oaf, Halsin. Something about my unreliable memory. Entirely unfunny." Gods above, if this fish nonsense turns into any more of a problem…

"Wait—" The cleric swivels on a dime, glaring knives into the poor wizard's soul. "People? Who else is engaging in this slander?!" They should've left that druid to rot in that cell.

"If I catch you joking about this with anyone else, I swear I'll set fire to all your rarest tomes!" To drive her point home, a pointer finger is jabbed squarely into his chest, drilling at the scar that houses his netherese demon.

"Do I make myself clear, Gale?"

[cassiefromhell]

Astarion Rewrites 01 - "The Meeting"

Series Summary: This is a new series, in which I rewrite classic Astarion scenes in short bursts (like when tav meets him, tav discovers he's a vampire, those key moments) because I need more chaos in my Astarion experience. So I'm writing it. If you have a particular moment you want to be written, comment or request it! I'm gonna try to write a gn!tav, but it might lean a little towards fem.

a/n: brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot i just need chaotic tav

warnings: mention of violence, slight lae'zel slander. if he's ooc im sorry T-T

“Oh dear lord,” you grumble, tugging on Shadowheart’s arm. “Look. See that man? I’d bet you anything he was on the ship,” you whisper, pointing at a white-haired, pale elf. He’s glancing around nervously, and then he spots you, and you flinch. 

“Ah, shit,” Shadowheart mumbles, but begrudgingly follows you forward as you approach.

“Hurry! I’ve got one of those brain things caught!” The man hisses, gesturing towards the bushes. “There, in the grass. You can kill it, can’t you?”

You give him a once-over. And again. He’s too pretty to let die, but there’s something about his demeanor that’s got you narrowing your eyes at him. You’ve had too many fast ones pulled on you in Baldur’s Gate to fall for this one.

You put on your best heroic smile. “Of course, sir. But I’m afraid I dropped my weapon a bit back— could you lend me yours?”

He shakes his head. “What? No, I don’t have a weapon. Why do you think I’m asking you to kill it? Quick, before it gets away!”

“No, silly, I mean the weapon you meant to hold against my throat. Perhaps a dagger, or a shortsword?” your smile broadens, and you wiggle your fingers. “C’mon, I know a good ol’ Baldurian heist when I see one. Give me your weapon, and I’ll take a looksies at your runaway brain problem.”

He blinks. And then blinks again. “I don’t know what you’re on about.”

“Oh,” you laugh, pulling out your own dagger and twirling it around your finger. “This is cute. You’re cute, really. And you’re a good liar, I’ll give you that. Just… not good enough to pass by me.”

From behind you, Shadowheart gives a low whistle. 

The white-haired elf narrows his eyes, and then smirks — recognizing that he’s met his match, no doubt. He holds out a hand. 

“Astarion. And you are?”

You give him your name, shaking his hand.

“I saw you on that ship, didn’t I?” Astarion asks, glancing between you and Shadowheart. “Both of you. And some… green creature.”

“I do have a rather memorable face, hm? I’m sure you did see us— and that green creature is a cranky githyanki named Lae’zel,” you pause, considering that for a moment. “We’re not… actually sure where she went,” glancing to Shadowheart, you rub the back of your neck.

“How curious,” Astarion’s eyes rake over you.

“Well,” you turn on your heel, marching towards the wrecked ship. “Let’s go try to track down Lae’zel.”

Shadowheart shrugs and follows you, but Astarion stays behind.

You pause, looking over your shoulder at the pale elf. “You coming?”

He opens and closes his mouth a few times before speaking. “Why would I be following you?”

“You mean you don’t want to join us? I thought that’s where this was headed; you talk to us, we do introductions, you become our newest travel companion… would you rather be left out here alone? With the brain things?”

“Well, no, of course not.”

“Then come on.”

You continue walking, and this time, Astarion follows close behind.

[anyoldfandom]

Genuinely not trying to vaguepost my last reblog bc this has been something I've seen a lot of but like...y'all get Lae'zel is a complex character, right? Like Larian didn't just phone it in for her just bc she isn't as forthright about her issues at first doesn't mean she isn't interesting.

It'a not a coincidence she has so many things with Shadowheart. They were both raised by cults. Lae'zel has been taught all her life that her queen is infallible and been taught that murdering her peers is acceptable and that every other species is weak and not worthy of her time or company. It's something she's proud of bc for moat of her life, she has been isolated from other species. She has only known this conflict from the day she was hatched, she is what she was shaped to be.

Like...do you also think it was a coincidence that Shadowheart was expected to kill to become a Dark Justicar, and that Lae'zel was expected to kill a mindflayer to be seen as a worthy member of her society? One murder is objectively worse than another, but also their stories have to go in opposite directions.

It's so important to look at Lae'zel as someone who was raised by a cult, though. It also explains why she's so reactive, antagonistic - she's scared, and when she needs the world to be soft, it's sharp and cruel back. Shadowheart can hide that she's a follower of Shar, and does at first, until she feels like she has to tell you. Lae'zel cannot do that, bc as far as Faerûn knows, her entire species is the cult. And people are valid to be suspicious of Githyanki, since they do do atrocities! A lot of atrocities. Those atrocities are not to be ignored. But we, as players who come to see the whole picture, shouldn't just dismiss an abused person unlearning the ways of her cult bc she's mean. She wouldn't have survived this long if she WASN'T. Lae'zel could not have known better bc she is a literal alien who would have been killed if she thought any different than what she'd been taught. Which we know bc we see ome Githyanki kid question things in the creche, and be told he has to fight to the death for wanting to be less violent.

Like, does this seem like the words of someone with a healthy childhood?

She was literally born to fight. It's right there. Sje was born to be a warrior and she knows no other way.

Also, in all this, people forget that Lae'zel is the most scared of all of the companions. She's terrified of turning into the dame monster she's sworn her entire life to kill. Her people were enslaved by the mindflayers, and she was supposed to kill them, not be captured. Not to be turned into one, to belong to them again.

And with all this, even with all this, in Act 1 she still wants to save you. She still grows close to the party and is adamant you come with her to the creche. She says we must find the creche, she assures you that you will not be hurt inside, that being with her will protect you, when that is so clearly not the githyanki way. She leaves your party evem when you don't go bc to her, you are throwing away the opportunity that she is trying to give you, an olive branch of care. And in her eyes, you throw it away - and she knows only to treat what to her is a sign of aggression with aggression.

Like, again, does this seem like something someone who doesn't care about you will say when you die?

She screams Halsin's name. She curses when the Tav and Minthara fall. She is directly contrasting what she was raised for by caring about all of you.

And, finally, when you're a Dark Urge, and you try to kill her in Act 2 after not killing Isobel, she basically just outright says she cares when you tell her to kill you.

Outright, she refuses to consider it. Even though you're explicitly a threat to her, even when she threatens you while you're feral.

I don't really have a good ending to this post and there's defo things I've missed (hell, I'm not even into Act 3 yet) but like. I've seen do much ignoring of Lae'zel and so much slander that I will not stand for.

[jellymellydraws]

Masterlist ~ <<Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter >>

Astarion x Dark Urge Chapter 19 - Ugh…Heroes. Rating: E Tags: Angst, Fluff, hurt/comfort, slow burn, two guarded people fall in love so hard it makes them stupid CW for Chapter: This chapter includes: Mentions of Torture, acts of torture, and mentions of cannibalism.

Chapter Summary:

Before they can save the druid, Wyll insists that another prisoner needs to be saved first. Rose disagrees.

Minthara's directions were concise enough to remember, and clear enough for Rose to perfectly picture the temple's map in her mind. With her focus back on their assignment, she continued to note the temple. Rafters, with easy to access ladders, could become useful should they need to ambush the goblins inside the sanctum. She noticed walkways along the perimeter, wondering what secrets they were hiding. A temple with as much damage as this place-- perhaps there were ways to sneak in from above?

The journal was removed from her pouch again, and another note added to her growing list of plans. Should they have the luxury of time, she'd like to loot this temple for everything it has left of worth. If they were lucky, they'd have more luck in the area of riches than they did in the first crypt they made camp in after the crash.

"I warn you elf, if you are wrong about this--"

"Lae'zel, if I'm wrong about this, then she would have turned by now," Astarion chuckled lightly, "but no, she gets ill from time to time. A bit of a-- oh Gods below, I don't even know if you'd understand this word-- a quirk, as I call it."

"I can hear you," Rose interrupted, leering back at her Githyanki guard, "if you have questions about me, ask."

"Are you often stricken with illness when you scold your subordinates?"

"No."

"So only Astarion, then? Does he make you ill?"

"Yes."

"What?!" Astarion gasped.

Rose smirked as the elf defensively rambled against such slanderous accusations.

Around the corner and down a narrow hall, the three of them found their companions standing between a pair of sarcophagi. The damage to the final resting place of skeletons looked to be done by time, an enemy not even Selune's most loyal clergy could withstand. 

Shadowheart was the first to look over, prepared to address an enemy but relieved that it were her allies instead. "Ready?" She asked the approaching leader. 

Gale hastily shut the book in his hands, tucking it into his bag. His eyes fell to Astarion, warily eyeing the literature-hating elf. 

"Let's go," Rose waved the group to join her as she approached the large wooden door. 

Astarion tapped her on the shoulder, nodding to the corner of the lobby once he had her attention. Barely visible in the standing torchlight was a ladder, leading up to a platform. Where did that go, she wondered? She formed the map of this place in her mind, retracing her steps from Minthara's office to their current location. Out from the office, around some pillars, down a hall-- ah!

"Seems to lead back to Commander Minthara's office," she whispered.

"My thoughts exactly," Astarion smirked, "could be useful to know. Good thing I spotted it."

The creaky groan from the door stopped everyone in their tracks. It opened a crack, letting in the sound of a grumbling voice.

"Let's try this again," the door swung open to reveal a short parade of creatures. A goblin with blue stripes along the sides of his face, yanked a chain in his hand as he walked forward. His garment was decorated with small bird skulls and sharp bestial fangs. At some point, the robe could have been considered a clean sheet of white, but has long since been stained by unknown sources. The symbol of The Absolute dangled around his neck, shining as he entered the torchlit lobby.

"'Scuse us," he made no effort to stop his path, forcing Rose, Astarion, and Lae'zel to step out of his way. 

Behind him was a human man who stared at his bare feet as they stepped one in front of the other. The bruises on his body ranged from the purest of purples to the dullest of yellows, signifying a series of beatings that must have taken place for a few days in a row. When the chain was yanked once more, he stumbled forward and fell to his knees without so much as a whimper.

A broken spirit, housed in the vessel of a broken man.

"Ah damn it," the chain holder turned around, backtracking to his fallen charge.

The last body of this parade was clad in armor, walking behind the prisoner with a spear in one hand and shield in another.

"Spike, ease up on the bastard," he warned, "the drow's gettin' pissy about how long you've been taking, but we don't want 'im dead yet." 

"Wouldn't be takin' so long if the lad would just speak! Come on, get up! On yer feet!"

Shadowheart watched like an instructor, prepared to grade her pupils on their performance after their presentation was through. If the wrinkle in her nose were any indication, it was going to be a poor grade. Wyll and Alfira, by contrast, were not enjoying the show before them. Alfira's hand covered her mouth, but could do little to cover the shock in her eyes. Wyll hid neither scowl nor glare.

"I told you, I don't know anything. Please..." the man pleaded shakily.

The Blade began shifting his way towards the front of the group, gently guiding Alfira and Gale away by the shoulder as he took the spot beside Shadowheart. He beckoned for Rose to look to him, using their tadpoles to transmit his intentions.

A glistening rapier swished through the air, stabbing into the tormentor while Lae'zel and Shadowheart pulled the prisoner away from the guard, who launched a spear at Wyll. Gale and Alfira would step in, casting evocative magic and blasting the guard back while Wyll finished off the goblin in the white coat.

It was the perfect plan.

Except...it wasn't.

The commotion could draw the attention of Commander Minthara and the goblins surrounding her. She was certain that there was another ladder on the other side of that wall. There was also the matter of who else could be in the pits. A druid was a powerful prisoner to hold, whatever security they had left must be keeping watch in there. 

Of course, she could be wrong about all of this. But, she didn't want to find out if she was right.

Her brows lowered, seeing Wyll's hand hovered just over his rapier's handle. While the goblins were distracted, she shook her head.

The prisoner chanced a glance at the audience of strangers as he slowly pulled himself to his feet. Wyll had not dropped his arm, and looked directly at the poor pathetic man. His sympathetic countenance was enough to give the prisoner the foolish notion that he had a chance. 

That there was hope.

"You have to help me--" the prisoner begged, his voice raising as he tried pulling himself towards Wyll, "Please! PLEASE!"

"That's enough from you!" The guard struck the man across the back with the butt of his spear, knocking the wind from his lungs.

Wyll grasped his blade.

"Don't you dare," Rose warned telepathically. Her glare was met with a look of defiance.

"I won't stand here and watch this man be tortured to death!" The Blade of Frontier's voice pierced into her mind. Sharp. Unwavering. She winced from the suddenness of it, though kept her teeth grit in an attempt to keep her face unmoved.

He took another step forward.

"Let me help with that," she spoke out loud, hurriedly stepping around the goblins and firmly planting herself between The Blade and the prisoner. As she grabbed the prisoner's arm, she glanced back at The Blade. While their tadpoles were still connected, she offered a soft "we'll come back for him, I promise."

Disbelief washed over The Blade's face as Rose helped the prisoner to his feet and nodded to the goblin in the robe, Spike.

"N-no what are you doing-- NO!" The prisoner began to scream as he realized his brief flash of hope was nothing more than a mockery.

The armored goblin poked his spear into the man's back, forcing him to step forward. He cried softly as they approached the wooden bridge. Like a bleating lamb going forth to the slaughter. A slow, painful, wonderfully agonizing slaughter.

"Well that was fun!" Astarion grinned devilishly.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts before they got 'quirkier,' as Astarion might put it. She continued for the door, reaching for the iron handle.

"This isn't right!" The Blade crossed in front of Rose, glaring down at her with his good eye.

"Ugh, heroes," the elf rolled his eyes.

"It was too risky to step in," Rose maintained a neutral expression, despite the heat rushing through her blood. She knew it-- Astarion's behavior was starting to be an example of her inability to keep her charges disciplined. One which was being exploited now.

"I truly thought we came to an understanding today," The Blade sighed, his expression dropping.

"We did."

"He was from Aradin's group..." Alfira's small voice reached from behind her.

The two turned their attention to the tiefling. Her gaze was fixed on the empty hallway with glassy eyes and a quivering lip. 

Rose waited to hear more from her. But she remained silent. As if that single line was never meant to slip out.

Perhaps it wasn't.

She scanned the faces of the others. The only other one who looked conflicted was Gale, who stood behind Alfira. Though his expression was tense, he did not look directly at anyone.

The screams spilled into the lobby like the wails of a phantom, coming to haunt them for their complacency.

A single tear ran down the tiefling's cheek as she covered her mouth and gripped the leathery strap which supported her lute.

"I didn't think you'd disappoint me so quickly," the Blade shook his head. He stepped around Rose, marching towards the bridge, "I'm not leaving him."

Fucking Hells.

Gods damn it!

"Wait!" Rose pinched the bridge of her nose, taking a deep breath as she collected her thoughts. The Blade stopped at the edge of the bridge, looking over his shoulder as she spoke up. "We won't be of much use if the horde kills us. Let's figure out how to do this without drawing attention first, deal?"

The Blade crossed his arms over his chest, turning fully to face her. 

"Deal."

Rose scanned over the open scroll of magic that their wizard all too eagerly furled open in front of her. In his same eagerness, he forgot that she wasn't as literate in arcane sigils as him. 

Their plan had to be quick, quiet, and easily covered up. Get into a fight for too long, and risk getting caught by any random goblin wandering the place. Cast too many spells, and draw too much attention to themselves. Typically, a task requiring stealth would be perfect for her. But Gale cautioned that some goblins could be empowered by The Absolute. The uncertainty on which goblins had access to these 'psionics' was enough to force them to be more cautious.

"Can't you cast it quietly?" She whispered as Gale neatly rolled the scroll and tucked it into his scroll bandelier.

"There are some who are more magically attuned with that sort of capability. Sadly, that capability is lost on me. Sadly." Gale informed.

"So then we need some sort of distraction..."

The prisoner screamed reached them more easily, now that they were tucked into the next room.

"We can use his screams as cover for the casting," Rose reasoned.

The Blade shook his head aggressively, "I don't want to risk it--"

"I'll do it," Shadowheart volunteered. "Lady Shar's teachings have prepared me to handle an interrogation without killing the informant."

"Don't revel in his pain, too much," he warned.

"No promises," she smirked. Much to his distaste.

Without darkness to shield them from wandering eyes, Rose and Lae'zel planted themselves in the hallway, monitoring the stairwells for unwanted guests.

The others clung to the wall, watching their cleric go in alone.

"Maybe I'll let my rats 'ave a bit of a nibble," Spike cackled as he turned a hot poker over an open flame, "been a few days since they ate...Still not talkin' huh?"

Deliberately loud footsteps approached the corner of torture. The guard acknowledged Shadowheart with a nod.

"Come to watch?" The torturer asked with a proud grin.

"I'm taking over." Shadowheart declared.

"And why the 'ell would I let ya do that?"

"I heard you contacted a Loviatar priest to aid you. What happened, couldn't afford the services of a Sharran?"

"Couldn't find any."

"Now you have." She extended her hand to take the prodder, "I'll even provide you a free demonstration."

"Ohh, gladly" he placed the cool handle of the prodder into her hand, and stepped aside to watch with curious eyes.

The Sharran took a moment to look over the prisoner, slowly rolling the lengthy metal in her hand. "You'll be thanking me later," she commented, pressing the heated metal into his side.

Gale's incantation was barely audible above the pained screams.

The goblin guard and tormenter fell to the ground before the screaming stopped. The prisoner continued to cry, even after Shadowheart removed the metal from his skin. Through her tadpole, she signaled to the rest of the group that the area was clear.

When she followed Lae'zel into the open room, the smell of burnt flesh overwhelmed Rose. Oh, delicious! It was enough to make her salivate. The exposed melted flesh of the prisoner called to her. She swallowed back her hunger.

"Hey Art-starion," Rose forced a smirk to the elf, "get him down from there."

"One of these days, darling, I'm teaching you how to come up with better nicknames than that," he snarked, sifting through the pockets on the sleeping tormentor. "Weren't you the one who was supposed to-- oh..." his smirk faltered when he looked up at her. She shifted her gaze away, glaring towards the floor. "Well I'm sure I can handle it this time."

She nodded appreciatively, then turned her back on the rest of the scene, refocusing her thoughts away from the desire to sink her teeth into supple flesh. Cooked just enough for taste, but meat left deliciously tender. Ugh, if only those damned goblins didn't ruin him with their reckless torment! Had she been left with him, even for a day, she would've-- 

A hand clasped onto her shoulder, giving it a firm, yet friendly, squeeze.

"Thank you." The Blade of Frontiers flashed a sincere smile at her.

"We had a solid plan," Rose stated nonchalantly, ignoring the dull thudding in the back of her head.

"Well, that helped, sure. But the important part is: you did the right thing."

Rose risked a glance back at the scene. Lae'zel was throwing the snoring goblin into the endless chasm, where he would meet his end. The prisoner was being tended to by Alfira and Shadowheart. The bard had given him her waterskin, which he desperately drank from while the cleric bandaged his wounds, preserving what was left of her magical healing.

The assassin's eyes softened. It wasn't the worst thing in the world: to save a life rather than snuff one out. They were lucky to have the means to succeed.

"What would you have done if I didn't? There was no way you'd have been able to save him on your own."

"When there's a Wyll, there's a way."

Rose's tadpole wriggled with the biggest eye roll that Astarion could transmit to her. Even her own eyes rolled at how awful that pun was.

"I'm going to shove you into that chasm," she teased.

"Not a fan? Hm...Then I will leave it at this: I'm thankful that you Rose to the challenge"

"Change of plans, I'm going to jump into that chasm."

Her hand covered the snerk. The Blade grinned proudly for his accomplishment, going as far as deliberately posing like a traditional hero. To replace the hand on her shoulder was Astarion, putting an arm over both of her shoulders and pretending to be too exhausted to stand upright.

"If we're done here, can we move on?" The elf whined.

"All I had you do was pick a lock," she smirked at his performance.

"And it was soooooooo much work. But I know how much you need me, so, I suppose I can keep going-- just a bit longer."

"How noble of you."

Alfira and Shadowheart helped the man to his feet, staying by him until he was certain he could walk. They watched him find a path leading out of the temple, concealed by rubble. The two looked at each other briefly, with the cleric's brows furrowed in thought. Lae'zel scanned the area for other evidence of the goblins, tossing whatever she deemed so into the chasm. As far as this area was concerned, no one had been here.

They didn't see anything.

They didn't know anything.

And that's exactly what Rose needs Minthara to think.

Next Chapter >>

[sorcerous-caress]

Yk that one convo where Shadowheart asks Astarion who he would feed on and he picks Wyll and Shadowheart seemed lowkey dissapointed (I think??) Like biting kink?? 👀 - Shadowheart anon

I am a gatekeeper, Astarion get away from my wife I will tell on you to Cazador.

I think she was hoping he'd pick Laezel for obvious reasons, but honestly he is such a lair because he says he wonders what laezel tastes like to us, then tells Shadowheart he wants to bite wyll like make up your mind dude.

He has ZERO standards, he gets happy when blood from god knows how old corpses gets poured on him, he pretends to have preference but he is a mid blood lover.

Also there is a mod that lets you become a vampire in bg3, not just any vampire but an ascended vampire too! So Imagine that with Shadowheart romance route

Cucking Astarion by being the superior vampire in the camp and cucking Shar by stealing her favourite princess.

[jinxxedmisery]

I did a quick little sketch (by quick, I mean it took me like 2 hours lol) I still struggle with feet and shoes...

I just saw a pose on pinterest and thought omg, what if Astarion and my tav... but he's biting their thigh 🤭

Ofc, I had to name it.. thirst... and I added the "Happy" symbol to kind of cover a sketch I did on the same page... You know... it wasn't originally supposed to be just one piece, I was practicing poses and I liked this one way too much to just leave it or risk messing up when I redrew it.

This is entirely self indulgent.. and intended to be Spawn Astarion because he's so babygirl 🥰😘😍

🤣 also I don't think I posted but I got through the Cazador fight not too long ago.. and

Spoilers and dumb ramble ahead:

For most of my day, I sat there wondering how the fuck I would beat that bastard... he was one shotting Shadowheart with his fucking lightning bolt, then sending his gas minions after the survivors. Astarion being in the ritual made it 10× more difficult.. so... I cheated... and fuck... It should have been obvious...

I LITERALLY FORGOT FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY THAT VAMPIRES ARE WEAK TO SUNLIGHT.. I blame Astarion and his parasite as well as Alucard for that one honestly.. the day walker thing kind of made me forget that omfg immunity to daylight is an exception, not the rule..

So I felt stupid.. once I got that, it was so much easier.. oh and almost constantly had Astarion in stealth kill mode until Cazadick was gone.

Also side note.. the VA for Cazador is perfect.. Like they really sells the "I'm a pathetic little worm, and your worst nightmare, fear me while I bitch and cry" LOL and again that's a compliment.. Larian really succeeded in making an evil character extremely grating and hatable which again, a good thing, not a bad thing.

The heartbreak I felt though afterwards when Astarion screams and cries.. God.. the second I got to this scene, I KNEW I couldn't let him ascend, doing so would be so cruel.. and yes.. this is ascended Astarion slander, I don't like my men too domineering.. maybe a little bit, but not enough to like kill innocent children and eat their hands or some shit lmfao (Doing a durge run too.. where I'm going to ascend Astarion and be a horrible bastard that eats babies) and I don't like that he loses the genuine feelings he has for tav/durge and becomes what he sought to destroy, an abuser.

Now.. the graveyard scene... I had tears in my eyes.. Honestly, the reason I love Astarion so much is because he is quite relatable. I will not go into detail, but I was.. SAed and abused as a kid. And honestly.. Seeing the bit where he scratched out his death date, made me feel hope.. for myself... For my own healing.. it truly meant so much seeing another survivor of abuse begin anew, find themselves again... even though I have done that already myself for the most part, I've found purpose, passions, love, heartbreak, etc and I've found some level of beauty in the life. I related quite a lot to the line about sex feeling tainted.. I am at a point where it no longer feels as terrible, I feel genuine enjoyment in it... (Can't do casual sex though.. That would trigger me into a ptsd attack) And I think part of that was letting myself go at my own pace, making sure my partners knew, and having control and the ability to consent and revoke consent at any point. Emotional attachment helped a great deal too.

I've rambled on enough.. but... Let me end this off by saying, If you went through unspeakable horrors at the hands of those who you thought were supposed to protect you, You are not alone, Even if you do not see it now, there is light at the end of the tunnel, keep on living, keep trying to find joy in little things. It does get better, what was done to you was horrible and you did not deserve it. I promise, you will see better days. You will be happy again, even if you feel like the pain will never end, there is always moments of calm.... live for those... live for your pets, live for your friends, the people around you, live for that cute thing you just ordered, live for that movie or TV series you're excited about watching... even the next patch for bg3.. or more Astarion content if that's your reason right now... and take it one day at a time. You will be okay.

If you need to vent out some shit, I'll listen, I may not know what to say or be able to offer comfort, but I will always lend an ear, even to a total stranger if they need it.

That's all from me, goodbye, until my next post.. whenever that will be ❤🖤❤🖤