#sex-favourable

[the-great-kraken]

if you see a male character kiss a male character, you assume they are gay.

if you see a female character kiss a female character, you assume they are a lesbian.

if you hear a character say they don't feel like their gender, you assume they are trans.

so why do a-spec characters have to jump through so many loops?

a character saying they've never had a crush or don't want a relationship or that they don't understand romantic love is so often ignored or used as fodder for other queer or autistic headcanons (reinforcing stereotypes that aroace people are secretly gay or always autistic)

why is it that our stories are always "up to interpretation"? why do we have to wait for the words aromantic or asexual to be said to be taken seriously? why is it that even when characters say they don't want relationships, fans will scream and cry about sex/romance favourable aspecs and qprs?

when it comes to gay and trans characters, even the likes of bisexual lighting is often treated as though it canonises their sexuality. for aroace characters, even the most explicit coding possible is swept under the rug in favour of other "interpretations"

i'm so tired of fighting for representation just to have it ignored and minimised by fans. let characters be aroace. please.

[ace-exploring]

I am a random-assed hand holder.

I will hold your hand even if we're not in a relationship. Even if we're just friends.

Hand holding should not be just for the romantic because it's a really lovely way to show someone you care for them regardless of romantic intention.

I just freaking love holding hands.

[theasexual-jackson]

There is no “see results”, just vote.

Tags, lol: @our-aspec-experience @our-asexual-experience @our-aroace-experience @ace-culture-is @asexual-society @asexualadvice @asexualspectrumspector @asexual @aroaceconfessions

[the-sun-is-also-a-star]

silly little meme i made LMAO

[whatudottu]

Wouldn't it be funny for the hot doctor Knock Out to not actually be that big a fan of sex. Still tho- it doesn't stop him from tormenting his husband with horny thoughts <3

Hah, instead of leaving him cold and sleaveless in just scrubs alone, I gave dear KO a puffy racer jacket (you know damn well it's ruby red), and to give himself an excuse to wear it in the medbay and on the field, he's got the Decepticon medical symbol patched on his arms :)

hmm does the implied impregnation mean i need to tag this as something?

[onlyinmy-ass]

It's so weird being a sex favourable a-spec person sometimes because I'm incredibly kinky, love being tied up and really enjoy being fucked in the ass but the thought of kissing? Makes me want to curl into a ball. It just repels me in a way so many other things don't

Anyway, to my fellow kinky a-specs, keep doing what you're doing and don't be scared to say no to things even if they're the most vanilla actions. Just because you're into one thing and it makes you feel good doesn't mean you have to be into something else

[areyousayingbeesorbeads]

louis and aramand really saw daniel from across the crowded room of a bar and said ‘we dig your vibe do you want to come back to ours’ and daniel really said ‘you guys are both freaks ofc i’ll suck your dick’ and you gotta respect his willingness to both acknowledge the weird shit while also ignoring the glaring red flags of their foreplay in favour of fucked by those two hot twinks

he’s got his priorities and he was not losing sight of the end goal (sex with a vampire)

[autumnfaepuppy]

maybe im only asexual because the autism makes sexual sensations and touching skin feel overwhelming

gets hit by the sex repulsion

nevermind

[marley-manson]

I want mine in my tushy.

[prince-liest]

any advice on how to write smut as an aroace person? I'm in it for the more niche stuff (consent issues, negotiation, navigating consent issues, I'm all about that) but I just KNOW these characters would be passionately making out in between. so I'm just left going back and forth trying to describe them doing that when personally I'm neutral about kissing at best and find it feels super weird at worst lol

Oh, gosh, hahaha - I'm ngl, I think it really depends on the character! Like, I've written a lot of smut and so on over the past couple of years and aside from blatantly pandering to my own kinks to a rather flagrant degree, I write it the same way as I write anything else: by thinking about how the POV character would experience it!

To follow the making-out example: I write Alastor as aroace and generally pretty neutral-tolerant about kissing, so whenever I write a kiss from his point of view, he ends up occasionally curious about the physical sensation of wet/warm/staticky (since it's usually Vox) or about how his partner is experiencing it, occasionally bored and distracted, occasionally actively very interested if blood gets involved or he likes the reactions he's getting. Meanwhile I write Mu Qing in a relationship with Feng Xin as extremely demi and otherwise sex and romance-repulsed, so he tends to be very into a kiss with Feng Xin...but also surprised and stressed out by his own desire after, y'know, 800 years of celibacy and so on.

For allo characters, it obviously can differ as well. The way I write him, Vox is pretty horny, obsessed with Alastor, and has had Alastor on a weird pedestal of love and hatred for a long time, so any radiostatic kiss I write from his point of view is going to be intense. He's going to enjoy the sensations, marvel at the fact that Alastor is letting him do this, fantasize about taking it further, catalogue every little thing about the experience like Alastor's comparative inexperience and how much that makes Vox feel special, or how sharp and sexily threatening Alastor's teeth are, etc. In comparison, I write Lucifer as a little bit depressive and having taken a hit to his self-esteem on the front of sex and romance after separating with Lilith, so in my fic where he hooks up with Angel Dust, he's also enjoying the physical sensations, but in a way that's much more focused on the emotional tenderness and feeling taken care of, and then frequently diverting into his performance anxiety.

Overall, I think that intimacy is a great way to explore characters and relationship dynamics, and (perhaps this is very aroace of me) I wouldn't necessarily approach it much differently from how I approach writing characters in any other situation. Rather than thinking of it as writing this mystical thing called smut, think of it as writing this character going through these particular acts, and engage with the writing as "what does this mean to this character, what would they enjoy, what would they focus on, what are they getting out of it," etc etc. And I think that fits in really well with what you're already interested in writing!

And, hey, if you're really not interested in writing the sex itself... honestly, there's no need to! You can always just fade it to black. Have the consent discussion, the awkward fumbling, the missteps, write a short lead-in, and then tack on something like, "They fell back to the bed. This time, when X's hands tensed and curled into the bedsheets, it was for a much more pleasurable reason" at the end or whatever.

[ace-exploring]

"You just have to find the right person."

I FOUND my person. I moved heaven and earth to marry him. We're still together after 17 years.

I'm still ace.

[dreaming-like-a-girl]

When we're a queerplatonic couple on Valentine's Day and we hold hands at the cinema and have lunch at our favourite greek takeout and the owner gives us free sweets then we browse Good Games for our dnd needs and an employee compliments our rings and outfits and then we go home and build Lego flowers while listening to Hozier

[blackfliesinbluesugar]

Fics tagged like 'sex favourable asexual Alastor' and 'sex positive asexual Alastor' that are just pure pwp with zero reference to asexuality are so funny to me. Op, you can just write porn, it's ok, we know this is fanon, you don't have to pretend his asexuality was considered here. No one is going to chase and beat you with sticks I promise.

[confused-disaster32]

Hi! So you can call this a rant or a vent or whatever I don't rlly care - I just wanted to put some of my opinions out there bc it is eating me inside out to keep my opinions on Alastor's sexuality and all of the discourse about him being shipped to myself.

Also i'd like to state that I'm writing this as someone who is aroace but has no actual wish to be in a romantic relationship and actually struggles to so much as picture what that's be like for myself. I would also like to state how I'm not speaking for the whole community and others will have different opinions to myself.

Firstly - aroace is a spectrum (as someone who is on the aroace spectrum btw) and I completely agree with ppl who say that it is a spectrum and shipping has always existed and you can't rlly stop an entire fandom. My only problem is when ppl completely ignore that he is aroace while doing this, bc to me it seems like there's so much potential to having him have to go through those types of emotions and to write him off as if he's completely allo not only can make some people feel unseen but also just isn't as fun.

Also I kind of believe that he'd possibly date someone for the entertainment - like even if he didn't exactly feel romantic attraction maybe he'd be willing to be around someone closely bc he might like the reactions he'd be getting. (example: he might've stayed in a relationship with Vox maybe not out of pure attraction but if he found out that affection could make the TV short-circuit? He'd be interested)

Adding to that, I personally do not actually ship him with anyone romantically due to his character + the fact that I am projecting my own distaste for romance on him but you do you ig.

Also, on the note of nsfw around him - sometimes you cannot stop a fandom, rule 34 exists and some people who are asexual sometimes may want to have sex and all of that stuff. Personally I think he'd probably be sex-repulsed due to the fact that he canonically has issues with being touched.

ALSO, i personally think that way too many people are brushing over the idea of putting Alastor in a QPR - like that would literally be so awesome.

Alastor x Rosie? Cute af (to me Rosie gives of aro vibes too, but more romance - favourable) like they're already besties and honestly I think that Rosie would defo help him figure out about his identity considering that he's quite obviously not all that sure about slang and stuff.

Vox x Alastor - It has the potential to be SO FUCKING FUN like, you get to experiment with how they feel for each other, maybe what Alastor's got going on bc he died before being aroace was rlly a thing and he'd be confused about how he felt about Vox for sure.

Lucifer x Alastor - I quite like it, ik that Lucifer is supposed to be with Lillith but she did take an extremely long hiatus on her family up in heaven so i think it's okay. Plus the idea of them bonding and becoming close due to Charlie is wonderful.

Even angel and Alastor - maybe after Val Angel doesn't want a super sexual relationship - maybe he's not all that interested in something purely romantic either and though I love huskerdust this would still be pretty cool.

Really all I'm saying is; be considerate. Incorporate the fact that Alastor is Aroace, even if you do ship him - in or out of QPRs - and ofc sometimes writing someone who is part of a group ur not in is difficult (coming from someone who often struggles in writing especially when it comes to romance) but taking a crack at it might actually turn out to be rlly cool.

But please don't ignore his aroace-ness, there's not a huge amount of aroace characters out there and acting like someone isn't can be annoying for ppl who want to find rep around their identity, esp if they haven't seen much before (I can relate and he was one of the first aroace characters I was introduced to after I found out what it meant).

So yeah, that's my piece.

[pageofheartdj]

Asexuals are SO kinky, can't even imagine what Alastor will bring into bed with Lucifer xD (cmon cannibalism and blood play is given <3)