#kinky asexual

[sadsillypuppygf]

wanna get tied up like this someday. i feel like it would be so peaceful to just let it happen. nothing sexual, just the pleasurable pressure of rope on skin

[0rb0t]

It's so hard being a kinky asexual because everyone assumes that I must not be ace because i talk about sex or kinky stuff so easily, and I'm like Bitch not all aces are repulsed. I'm only repulsed by characters or people doing the things to me, not doing them with each other.

I can talk about dressing my faves up in tight body suits and isolation hoods all day long, it don't mean I wanna fuck em, and i especially don't wanna fuck you

[onlyinmy-ass]

Shibari is not about sex

Shibari is about trust. It's giving up control to another person, trusting that they'll keep you safe, them trusting that you will speak up if something feels off

Shibari is about feeling. It's about the sensation of rope pulling tight against your skin, the soft press of hands on your body, moulding you, guiding you into place

Shibari is about art. It's letting yourself become clay for a master, opening out your body and channelling the vision of another person, it's about honesty and beauty and support

Yes, shibari is kinky but it's also so much more

[lilalexxx]

Maybe I just need that switch relationship, where we both train each other. You clicker train me, I hypnotize/condition you. We do so well at first, but then one of us just pushes too far and realise as a sub you have the power too. So we both spiral down, using the other person more while getting mindless ourselves. Until we're laying at the floor needy and still pushing, clicking, controlling, begging-

Wait who said that

[cybergothvox]

It's so weird when people equate asexuality to a lack of horny like. You can be ace and hypersexual. Asexuality has to do with sexual *attraction* not sexual *desire*. And a lack of sexual attraction does lead to a lack of sexual desire in some people but not everyone. And people saying things like 'never depict ace people as horny' is erasing huge swaths of real people.

[fanby-fckry]

It’s crazy to me that some people say, “I want her to step on me,” when they actually mean, “I am sexually attracted to her. I want her to fuck me, possibly in a Femdom way.”

I say that and I mean exactly that. I want the hot, evil lady to step on me and not fuck me. There will be no sex, none at all.

Every time I say something like, “I want her to step on me,” or “I would let this man eat me alive,” I mean it literally.

Obviously I cannot do some of these things because a.) unrealistic kink and b.) fictional character, but I cannot stress enough that the weird shit I say is not a metaphor for sex.

It is my ace self trying to express my desire for nonsexual kink in a popular format and failing miserably because I genuinely didn’t understand what allos meant.

[xofor-mexo]

Hey, don’t cry! Monster creatures falling in obsession and/or love with you and bloodily destroying your enemies while you sit on a throne bathed in blood, okay?

[grey-ace-tickles]

Platonic crushes??

I think I am having a "friend crush" on a person from work. Its weird because it feels the same as a regular crush, but if I think about interacting with this person romantically 😬 no thank you. He is a lovely person and we get along really well. Also I am in a committed relationship with my partner, and I would never ever do anything to compromise that. Just an added layer of why I feel so weird about this.

Is this something you've experienced? I've seen online that friend crushes are common among ace ppl, I don't know if I've really experienced it until now tho. Any feedback is appreciated 😇

[little-songbird-sings]

It was honestly so fucking freeing to realize I can just do kink, as much or as little as I want, and I don't have to do sex. Sex is... fine, really, but it's got to be part of the kink or I don't give a fuck, and it's hardly the main center stage event people make it out to be. The point is kink, the point is the dynamic, the point is pain, and if we forget that then I'd rather just go play a video game or something

[ace-bard]

I briefly mentioned before how online kink communities are one of the few places I feel safe a trans person (I follow far far left subreddits and still feel twinge of fear whenever trans topics are brought up), but now that I've been to a few irl kink events the sad thing is,, they're also more inclusive of asexuals then queer communities are.

You have to pull teeth to get queers to admit aces even exist, much less include us, MUCH LESS actually know anything asexuality or the ace community. If you mention aces in kink queers hound you like "Wait I thought aces where evil sex negative puritans who hated sexuality?" "How could an ace ever possibly enjoy kink? How how how?

But multiple hosts/educators unprompted were like, yeah, aces are kinky sometimes and are welcome here :")

[onlyinmy-ass]

It's so weird being a sex favourable a-spec person sometimes because I'm incredibly kinky, love being tied up and really enjoy being fucked in the ass but the thought of kissing? Makes me want to curl into a ball. It just repels me in a way so many other things don't

Anyway, to my fellow kinky a-specs, keep doing what you're doing and don't be scared to say no to things even if they're the most vanilla actions. Just because you're into one thing and it makes you feel good doesn't mean you have to be into something else

[loverbeefantasy]

I’d love if other ace spec horny/kinky folks reblogged this! I know I don’t talk about it much, but being grey ace definitely affects how I experience sexuality (and gender tbh). It would be cool to connect with other people on that front, hopefully understand ourselves better 💜🤍🩶🖤

(Others are welcome to boost as well!)

[sadsillypuppygf]

take control and use it to bathe me when i lack motivation, use it to feed me when i’m struggling to feed myself, use it to brush my hair to calm my mind, use it to sit me down for a movie of your choice bc my decision fatigue won’t let me choose on my own. dominate softly. control lovingly.

[thecanadianweeb]

sex neutral asexual hours.

[onlyinmy-ass]

i never cared about being a virgin and "missing out" until anal. want it so bad and been training up and anal only for almost 8 months now. but also kinda saddens me that i'll never be with anyone irl. I am scared to death of anyone who gets close, like beyond friendship close.

You have come to the right mess of a person with this, friend. I understand 100% how you're feeling, trust me. This is about to get long and personal but I hope it'll help in some tiny way

I'm aroace and have had very similar feelings and experiences to what your describing here - so you're not alone. I had two really good friendships at uni (almost 6 years ago, sobs in late 20s) that I completely fucked over the moment I realised they were actually interested in me romantically, I turned and fucking ran to the hills to get away from that because I knew I'd never be able to give them what they wanted or needed from me

Those feelings and that fear haven't really gone away but as I've gotten older and interacted with more people in life, in other countries, online, in the kinky community etc what I've found is a whole broad spectrum of relationships that I'd never imagined possible as a young adult

And that can be turned so easily to these difficult thoughts right

So, okay, you and I might never want a romantic thing. Platonic relationships with sexual elements exist. BDSM relationships are often added to the context of romantic partnerships but can also be platonic, outside separately or in addition to traditional relationships. One off encounters with clear expectations and boundaries and, perhaps most importantly, defined endings can be found if you want one

Or, if you're not all that keen on having another person actually touch you, toys exist - as you already know! We don't need anyone else to enjoy those great sensations of anal. But maybe you do want someone, so you can find a person that is in to watching, directing or even using the toy on you without any other contact.

What I'm trying to say is that there are SO many possibilities that don't require deep emotional bonds. (Trust and consent and boundaries absolutely but these are not exclusively linked to long term partners)

With some searching and vetting, you could - if you so desired- find someone that matches your freak and have an encounter (s, if it goes well!) with that satisfies your needs and theirs

Sex, anal, play, control.... It can just be a physical thing done for fun. You don't need to put the fear and pressure of something more on it if you don't want to.

I know that for me personally that romantic relationships really aren't on the table, and I'm not particularly fussed about getting anyone else in on the action because I can get the physical enjoyment and sensations on my own and know I'm avoiding the potential emotional freak out/fall out, but if I ever chose to pursue something it would be solely on my shoulders to explain what I wanted and how it would have to play out; I couldn't expect someone to understand if I didn't lay it out for them and, unfortunately, that's probably gonna be the same for you. But as I said, that doesn't mean noone will be interested if that's what your putting out

TLDR: if you want someone to fuck you in the ass without crossing into uncomfortable feeling territory, I guarantee there are people out there also looking for this sort of arrangement. You just have to be clear with what you want, set your boundaries and for the love of sanity have an exit plan so you can leave immediately if the vibes are wrong. And if you don't want that? Keep on riding that dildo and enjoy yourself anyway

You're not missing out because 9/10 people aren't doing anal anyway so actually you're doing better as a virgin that most the population. That's pretty fucking cool honestly

(also 8 months anal only training? Get it!)

[vaguelyaperson]

I wanna throw a little self-love and validation to romance and/or sex positive aroace-specs like me.

(Not to invalidate acearos who are looking for platonic partnerships - that's a valid subject in of itself with its own obstacles - but I'm specifically talking about acearos who explicitly want romance and/or sex.)

For me, I often feel like I don't fit into either allo or acearo spaces, because like most allos, I enjoy and want romance and sex, but like most aroaces, I don't particularly need either and can go years without feeling genuine attraction to someone.

And when I do feel attracted to someone, as soon as that situation ends, it feels like I've just reset the clock and will have to wait another few years to meet my next person.

I've seen other romance/sex positive acearos express the insecurity that they'll never find someone who's okay with unreciprocated romantic or sexual attraction.

It gets lonely and frustrating and I wish so badly to be like the aroaces who find solace in rejecting amornormative culture. But when I've tried to do that, it only made me miserable, knowing deep down my hopeless romanticism and sexual desires are just as intrinsic to me as being acearo-spec.

So I just wanted to carve out a little space for people like me. A bit of positivity and support while we wait for our person(s) to come along.