#severus the snail

[jasminedrawsshit]

Meet severus the snail! Yes I am that big of a snape fan lol. I found him by mistake by a lake bank after fishing and I thought he was just a empty shell. But I decided to bring him home and we got him his own lil tank. He's a very active dude for being definitely max size for his species and hasn't stopped moving since around 8 or 9 lol. He looks black out of water as indicated by the one picture and that's one of the reasons I chose the name for him other than being a stan of snape. Anyhow I love the dude

[sumontienne]

i just dont see the appeal of Severus Snape. hes an asshole, greasy old man who bullies children. idc if he rEdEeMs HiMsElF. hes just gross

omG HIIIIIIII V.II SNAIL!!!!! 💗💗💗💕💕💕💓💓💓

[dandelionscarf]

Северус подошёл к окну, несколько секунд смотрел на сочащиеся дождём облака, потом задёрнул шторы. Странно, сколько он себя помнил, здесь всегда было такое затянутое тучами небо. Жители соседних домов, наверное, давно бросили слушать прогнозы погоды.

Только однажды он видел здесь солнце.

(«Король звезды»)

P.S.: Тэру-тэру-бодзу – японская бумажная или тряпичная кукла-амулет, приносящая хорошую погоду.

[amenemisa]

Yeah very well, i read a fiction about him and we have a sleepy eating severus :')

I usually like to draw his hair straight and slightly wavy, but this time we have a severus like this. I'll leave you a short paragraph here~

°°°

“Afternoon Severus,” Professor McGonagall chirped.

“Afternoon,” Snape muttered, sluggishly dragging himself into his usual seat at the teachers’ table.

“Is everything alright? You look positively drained.”

“I did not get much sleep,” he grumbled, sipping on a cup of coffee.

Unfortunately for Snape, his “morning business” commenced quite literally at the crack of dawn. After his rounds concluded at 3 AM, he crashed into bed only to bitterly rouse a couple of hours later to receive and compartmentalize a large shipment of potion supplies. He skipped breakfast to acquire some much-needed slumber and he still wanted to crawl back into bed as he ate his lunch. His hair was a bit unkempt and ruffled from bedhead, but he didn’t care as his physical appearance wasn't a top priority to him.

...

He’s dragging.

You had noticed the drowsy state of the potion’s master when he entered the Great Hall for lunch. His typical determined strides were slower and seemed heavier. It didn’t take a genius to recognize that Professor Snape was tired. Pair his movements with his bedhead as well as the slow pace he ate his meal and you have your answer. Snape was typically always the last to arrive for meals, but he was always the first to leave as well; today not being the case as he chewed at a snail’s pace, his head slightly resting against his hand. Meanwhile, you had already finished your lunch, even after slowing down your own pace. You wanted to leave the Great Hall, but you would feel guilty if his notice of your departure possibly inclined him to rush. It didn’t matter to you what time you went to Hogsmeade. Perhaps if you were discrete…?

°°°

Here is the fiction ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ

[bi-snape]

Chaotic D.E. Severus incorrect quotes

✨️

Severus: Here's two facts about me.

Severus: 1. I hate hot people.

Severus: 2. I'm a hypocrite.

✨️

Severus: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

✨️

Severus: I’m a multitasker!

Severus: I can disappoint fifteen people at once.

✨️

Severus: I’m really glad “fight me” has replaced “sue me” in the common vernacular because I don’t have money, but I do have fists and I am always angry.

✨️

Severus: If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

✨️

Lucius: I think Barty is in trouble.

Severus: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

✨️

Lucius: Evan, gather the others. We need to have another Severus-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-him-before-he-hurts-someone convention.

✨️

Mulciber: Hey, Severus, where are you going?

Severus: Well, it depends. When I die, probably hell.

Severus: But right now I’m going to McDonald’s.

✨️

Regulus: So I have made the decision to trust you.

Severus: A horrible decision, really.

✨️

Wilkes: How has life been treating you lately?

Severus: Horribly.

✨️

Lucius, texting Narcissa: I had to pick up Severus early.

Narcissa: That’s alright. Has he been sick?

Lucius: No, not sick, he's just very upset because he had a hard day.

Narcissa: Wait, why did he have a hard day?

Lucius: He took his two pet snails to school with him today, and he had the snails in his book bag. He let out the snails by the sink in the back of the potions classroom for some exercise, and Professor Slughorn thought they were snails that escaped the jars from his ingredient cupboard, so he used Severus’s snails in a potion for demonstration.

Narcissa: Oh my god.

Lucius: I know you are laughing, Cissa, but please act sad about it when we get home today.

Narcissa: I’ll try but that is hilarious.

Lucius: Yeah, I know. Stupid pet snails.

Lucius: I’m trying not to let Severus see me laugh.

✨️

Severus: Do you want this handful of moss?

Voldemort: Why would I want a handful of fucking moss?

Severus: Damn, you could’ve just said no.

✨️

Severus: Yeah I'm LGBT.

Severus: cuLt leader.

Severus: God hates me personally.

Severus: Bitchy.

Severus: *sniffles* Trying my best.

✨️

Voldemort: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house.

Severus: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

✨️

Lucius: Hi, I'm Severus Snape's emergency contact.

Counter Woman: You're here to pick him up?

Lucius: I'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.

[justagayperson-2024]

Professor Severus Snape x Reader

~GN!Reader~

"Severus." I called out as I walked into the potions classroom. I heard a faint 'In here' from Severus's office. As I walked in I noticed him hunched over his desk grading papers tiredly. "I noticed you weren't at dinner tonight so I made you a plate." I said softly, placing the plate on his desk. He nodded slowly, "Thank you, darling." He said deeply. I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and rubbed tenderly. A quiet sigh left his lips as he leaned back, looking up into my eyes. I smiled down at him, caressing his cheek with my other hand. He gave me a soft, tired smile and pulled me close to him. "Are you almost done?" I asked, stroking his hair lovingly. He shook his head no and mumbled something into my chest. I grabbed his hand gently and pulled him up off his chair, "No Y/n I need to finish." Severus argued. I gave him a stern look and he closed his mouth quickly. He knew what that look meant and he couldn't say he disliked it. A faint blush spread to his cheeks and his pants tightened with the hard-on he was now getting from that one look. I brought him over to his sofa and pushed him down onto it. He groaned at the force I used which just made him harder if it was possible. I smirked down at him and began taking off my robes slowly, giving him a little show. He moaned at the sight of my lace bra and panties that I wore specifically for him. "Do you like my outfit, Prince?" I asked as I walked over to him, swaying my hips just right. He gulped and nodded eagerly. The tightness in his pants was becoming more painful by the second as he watched me with lust-filled eyes. As I began undressing Severus I heard a faint whimper when my hand ghosted over his lower regions. I couldn't help but giggle at the utter control I had over this man, it was almost enough to send me over the edge. I took off his robes and waistcoat, leaving him in his black shirt and dress pants. I sank to my knees and started taking off his pants very slowly. Severus bucked his hips up impatiently and I pushed them down forcefully, "Ah my love, behave and you will be rewarded." I said looking up at him. His face was flushed and I could see the frustration in his eyes, but he nodded and behaved. I pulled down his pants and gently gripped his cock through his black boxers. He gave me a deep moan as I did so, throwing his head back in pleasure. I slowly jerked him off through his boxers earning me more sweet moans and whimpers from his sweet lips. I finally pulled down his boxers letting his cock spring free.

Severus gasped as the cold air hit his cock but I wrapped my warm around him making him melt into the sofa. I nestled between his strong thighs and licked a long hard strip up his dick. His hand flew to the back of my head and gently grabbed my hair as I sucked his tip softly. His moans were like music to my ears. I slowly took his cock into my mouth and sucked him off. "Oh shit Y/n! Fuck!" Severus moaned loudly as I sucked and swallowed his dick. "Your mouth is like heaven darling." He moaned as he pushed my head down, making me gag slightly. Severus quickly moved his hand from my head, "I-I'm sorry fuck." He stuttered apologetically. I moaned around him and moved his hand back letting him know it was okay. He sighed deeply and pushed me down again making my eyes roll to the back of my head at how good it felt. "Y/n! I-I'm s-so close god! I don't want to cum in your mouth that's gross" He moaned as I gently squeezed his balls. I pulled him from my mouth and looked at him, "It's okay My Prince, I want you to cum in my mouth. Be a good boy for me." I said sweetly, batting my lashes at him. He groaned and threw his head back nodding. I went back to work and I felt his cock twitch in my mouth. "I'm cumming! Oh god!" He whined loudly as his cum shot into my mouth. I moaned at the feeling and swallowed all of him. I popped him out of my mouth and looked up at him. His shirt rode up exposing his snail trail and his top button was open exposing his chest. I groaned at the sight in front of me and climbed up to straddle him. "Y/n please I'm so sensitive." Sev moaned as I ran my slick folds over his half-hard cock. I smirked and lined him up with my entrance and slowly immersed him in my cunt. He whimpered and whined as I nestled him inside me, "Oh gods Y/n fuck me." Sev moaned into my shoulder. "I plan to, my sweet boy." I moaned feeling him get hard inside me. I began to move and ride his cock at a painfully slow rate. "Y/n faster please please!" He begged, grabbing my ass and squeezing hard. I moaned and threw my head back in pleasure. I continued to ignore Severus's begging and got myself off nice and slowly. Severus started sobbing softly into my shoulder from the overstimulation. His mumbles and whines about me going too slow and how he's too sensitive only fuelled my orgasm more. As I came close to cumming Sev thrust up into me and started fucking me fast. "I-I need to cum again please Y/n." He whimpered looking at me desperately. I nodded and let him continue fucking me nice and fast. I felt myself get close again and started moaning Severus's name loudly, "Oh Sev, fuck Prince you're gonna make me cum on your cock. God, such a good boy." I praised him as he started slowing down, letting me know he was close. My words egged him on and I felt him cum inside me. This triggered my orgasm and I came crying Severus's name. "You did so well, my Prince." I said, petting his damp black hair. He couldn't form sentences from being so overstimulated and just nodded weakly against me. 

[cailynwrites]

A Very Pairy Christmas Masterlist - 31+ podfics for December

Week 1: ❄️ Snow ❄️

Warmth by @givereadersahug (James x Lily x Severus)

Knitting Hats for Puppies by @arielsakura (Harry x Bill)

Convergence on a Winter's Night by @inmyownlittlecorner5 (Ted Tonks x Severus Snape)

Snowdrifts by @indreamsink (Draco x Hermione)

Sock Snowmen by @givereadersahug (Harry x Severus)

The Great Biscuit Calamity of 1978, And Other Such Disasters by @lunapwrites (Sirius x Remus)

Snowdeer Charms and Concussions by @arielsakura (Tom x Harry)

Week 2: 🎵 Caroling 🎵

Sorry It Took Me So Long by @arielsakura (Luna x Harry)

With Love by @smallsherbert (Pansy x Hermione)

Fast the Night Is Fading by @snapesnailtape (Severus x Lily)

Sing My Song (For You) by @theselittleponders (Rose x Scorpius)

Draco, Merrily on High by @blythe-ly (Draco x Harry)

Remus Lupin and the Christmas Snail by @innermostplanet (Remus Tonks)

Beautiful the rose that in your garden is by porcelainsalt (Luna x Astoria)

Week 3: 🎄 Mistletoe 🎄

'tis the damn season (Pansy's version) by @the-francakes (Ron x Pansy)

Escaping Fred Weasley's Magical Mistletoe by @ptwritesmore (Fred x Hermione)

Meet Me Under the Mistletoe by @siriusly-sapphic (Narcissa x Dorcas)

Mistletoe Rescue by @indreamsink (Draco x Hermione x Theo)

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree by @ptwritesmore (Ron x Daphne)

Festive Mood by @paulamcg (Molly x Amelia)

House Unity by @tryslora (Draco x Neville)

Week 4: 🎁 Gifts 🎁

The Pink Prank/Prankmas Eve by @danpuff-ao3 (Draco x Ron and other pairings)

Fulfilling of the Secret Wish by smirkingcat (Draco x Remus)

Unlocking Christmas Joy by @ptwritesmore (Harry x Hermione)

The Seventh Annual Weasley White Erumpent Exchange by @constitutionalweasleymonarchy (many pairings!)

A Non-Christmas Non-Romance by kelly_chambliss (Snape x McGonagall)

Adeste Fideles by @madmaudlingoes (Draco x Ron)

you make me feel good by @facingthenorthwind (Albus x Scorpius)

Week 5: 🥂 New Year's Eve 🥂

snapshots by kitsunerei88 (Percy x Oliver)

The Enchanted Forest by @xslytherclawx-writes (Neville x Regulus)

A Magical New Year's Masquerade by @ptwritesmore (Draco x Hermione)

This Time Next Year by @janieohio (Draco x Harry)

Bonus: 🕎 Hanukkah 🕎

kindling and memory by @leftsidedown (Fleur x Tonks)

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Igor is a large ceramic pitcher of creams with small bubbles around the rim sitting on an old, worn, pale brown-grey kitchen table in a cabin in a misty summer morning with overgrown wild grass and those furry purple flowers sprouting everywhere outside. The table has long white legs that don't sit evenly, the cream rippling from the centre.

Charity is a palm-sized white plate of strawberries that have been sitting on a wooden island, aged, that were warmed by the sun flittering through the window of her cottage and the heat of her heart as she moves about the kitchen.

Sirius is gingerbread baking in an oven in another room while he's grabbing a friend from behind in front of a large, red brick fireplace. It's cold enough to snow outside, but it doesn't, and a record player from upstairs signs Christmas songs.

Remus is grass after a rain that sticks to his bare feet with water adhesive. Thin, muddy puddles splash around his skin and small snails no larger than a fingernail inspect his ankles.

James is the leftover juice squirting over his forearms from shredding an orange peel above a bowl of protein yogurt in a white, messy kitchen, while the sun rises and he prepares to greet the waking world.

Regulus is the slather of sputtering sunscreen rubbed into the curvature of his pink ears, back turned to the laughs of his friends as they dip into and splash around a crystal blue pool with a black iron fence separating them from the warm world.

Evan is a chopped slab of wild wood tossed into a nighttime brick campfire, bugs quieting and ambers flittering below his knees, his company placing a hand on his shoulder that causes him to look up as they sit beside him on a damp log.

Barty is rubbing alcohol splattering all over the mahogany bathroom as it soaks into a papercut on his right index finger, the squeak of his bare feet pulling across the floor in distasteful shock.

Severus is the first bite into a dark plumb that spreads long white fingers with sharp nails, the lean on a couch to sink his teeth into it in a dark, sleepy living room warmed by a shirt that doesn't fit him, and the rub of his foot over the carpet and coffee table to know he hasn't spilled a drop.

Aurora is the steam of fresh black vanilla coffee placed between the pages of And Then There Were None as she nuzzles herself against the arm of her cozy burgundy couch and the gentle burn of it sliding down her throat as the newest murder is revealed.

I'm still not over this ask like,,,, how does it feel to be so right anon???

"Regulus is the slather of sputtering sunscreen rubbed into the curvature of his pink ears" this one especially is really inspiring me when it comes to the next chapter of trempé de sueur ngl jvfnjbnfjbg

[severusalways88]

Hair of the Dog Chapter 1 - Rated Explicit

For our dear Severus Snape's birthday I present to you, chapter 1 of a 3-chapter fic where Severus gets a haircut and some hurt/comfort along the way. Also smut hehehe. Severus/Hermione Summary: Severus Snape is in dire need of a haircut, and there's one other person on staff who's capable of doing it. And maybe also capable of handling him and what follows.

(photo credit: Redd Francisco on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/a-man-getting-his-hair-washed-in-a-sink-WHLG1uhxLUA ) Tags include (and will be added to): Severus Snape needs a haircut, Hermione can cut hair, Severus in a ponytail, Snarky Severus Snape, Co-workers, Hogwarts Professors, Minerva McGonagall & Severus Snape Friendship, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Enemies to Lovers Sort Of, mentions of Cruciatus exposure halting nail and hair growth, References to Canon Torture, Hermione doesn't take guff, scalp massages, hairwashing, Opening up in the barber's chair, Mentions of childhood physical and emotional abuse, Night Terrors, Use of dreamless sleep potion for night terrors, Severus is sterile, Severus has a dream about having kids, Reference to canon angst, Praise Kink, Severus gets a wee bit drunk, Severus cares about his students, Smut, Angst, Fluff, HEA, Severus Snape Lives, Severus Snape is Bad at Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, Dom/sub Undertones, Happy Birthday Severus Snape, no beta we die by the seat of our pants, Positive pregnancy in the very last sentence at the end of the fic Excerpt from Chapter 1: ----

Hermione's eyebrows rose in surprise when Severus Snape walked in, looking more than mildly uncomfortable to be there.

"Professor Snape? What brings you here?" she asked, trying to keep her gaze focused on the paper in front of her.

"I felt it was time to call in my favour," he stated, trying to command the situation as much as possible.

"Oh?" She placed the essay onto her desk and leaned back in her chair, giving him her full attention.

He avidly avoided meeting her eyes, rifling through the papers instead. "I see you've taken to favouring red ink as well."

"And harsh critique." She cocked an eyebrow at him. "I wonder where I learned that from."

"You're welcome," he stated it matter-of-factly, and she snorted.

"Professor Snape, are you going to continue beating around the bush at a snail's pace, or will you put us both out of our misery so I can get back to grading these subpar attempts at Arithmancy?"

"You're starting to sound like me too," he muttered, finally meeting her gaze and bringing himself to his full height. "Very well. I would like you to trim my hair."

The imperious smugness on her face had him wondering if he really was looking into a mirror. "I see."

"Nothing complicated," he continued, "just to bring it to my shoulders. I've heard from several members of staff you're at least capable of that."

"Are you certain you wish to antagonize the person who will be holding scissors near your head?" She crossed her legs and steepled her fingers, relishing the way he fidgeted with his cuffs.

He pressed his lips together into a thin white line. "Fine. I'll be civil." ----

[ao3feed-scorbus]

we are alone together

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/s3rzAoC by snallura Scorpius shrugs. “I like it. It only works if you go all the way in, though.” Albus pauses. “What?” “You know,” Scorpius says, wading in deeper. “Water. Healing properties. Whatever.” Scorpius pauses and closes his eyes. Albus nods. He’s not sure if he’s nodding because he agrees and understands, or if he’s nodding because it’s Scorpius, whose eccentricities are delightful and strange. The water’s too cold for his taste. And he doesn’t like being outside nearly as much as Scorpius does. But if Scorpius says that the lake washes away his sorrow, or whatever, then Albus will sit on a fallen tree and read until Scorpius feels ready to leave. - or: albus pines, everything is beautiful, and lakes can cleanse the soul. Words: 1869, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 1 of snail's hpcc fics Fandoms: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen, M/M Characters: Scorpius Malfoy, Albus Severus Potter, Draco Malfoy Relationships: Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Severus Potter, Draco Malfoy & Scorpius Malfoy Additional Tags: Swimming, Hiking, Pining, Fluff, Comfort No Hurt, okay they aren't actually together yet, This Is Not a Getting Together Fic, it's just a boys being sweet fic, look man just read it, despite them not being together it is deeply romantic, Romance, draco has one action he is in one sentence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/55069009

[rosie-love98]

Hobbes Visits Cackle's:

Severus Snape: Constance, dear, as much as I enjoy our son's visits, it it wise to have him here of all places?

Constance Hardbroom: Of course, Severus; Nicholas is a bright, young wizard; teaching would be an excellent fit for him.

Amelia Cackle: But at a school filled with female teenagers who've been living in an isolated castle for a good chunk of the year?

Davina Bat: "Snips, and snails and puppy-dog tails"...

Imogen Drill: And Hobbes not so bad looking either...

Constance Hardbroom: Oh please, everyone! I'll be thhe first to admit our pupils are prone to fantasies and reckless folly.However, if we just take the time and effort to properly discipline them-

*Nick Hobbes rushes into the word without a word and heads straight to the Staff Room cabinet.*

Nick Hobbes: *To Davina Bat* May I?

Davina Bat: Of course, dear.

Nick Hobbes: *As He Goes In The Cabinet* Thank you. *Shuts The Door Behind Him*

Davina Bat: Everyone needs some "Rest And Recuperation".

Constance Hardbroom: Nicholas, what is the meaning of-

*Cue a crowd of screaming Cackle's Academy students crowding the corridors of nothing but Hobbes-related shirts, banners and posters.*

@yaviae @tinyvoidwinnerpeach @theworstwitch @theworstwitchforever @snonions-and-cream @snapeaddict

[dandelionscarf]

Do you know that on June evenings snails go on dates with whales? Whales bring rain with them (everyone knows that snails love rain) and umbrella (even snails sometimes want to hide from the rain), while snails bring a bouquet of hydrangeas because blue suits whales.

Ты знаешь, что июньскими вечерами улитки ходят на свидания с китами? Киты приносят с собой дождь (всем известно, что улитки любят дожди) и зонт (даже улиткам порой хочется укрыться от дождя). А улитки приносят букет гортензий, ведь китам идёт синий.

[tadaxii-i]

Last line tag

Thanks for the tag @seductive-snail

Rules: Make a new post and post your latest line from your WIP and tag as many people as there are words/feels right to you

It was a bit easier when she left for Hogwarts, the object of her despair far, far away in the south of England, and well, she had Severus. He was nice, really. Quiet, intelligent, witty… Lily doesn’t really like to think about him. It hurts, more than anything.

I actually really fucking hate that it's about snape? So let me find my other one:

“You know, I used to be scared of you because I thought you were really cool. Now I'm scared because I’d be naive not to be.”

Much better.

Tags (I don't have many writer moots sorry) : @greenvlvetcouch @drownedghostie @aureusprongs

[bi-snape]

Mulvry

Klaus Mulciber/Wes Don Avery

1st pic - Them as kids, they fell asleep in Avery Manor

2nd pic - Wes hugging Klaus at random

3rd pic - They found a snail outside while exploring the garden in Avery Manor.

4th pic - A picture of them taken in their 5th yr at Hogwarts

5th pic - Them dancing alone during some ball

6th pic - Them trying to snog in some closet in hogwarts but someone interrupts

7th pic - Wes and Klaus learning about movies/shows after Severus shows them a tv

8th pic - Them messing around while on a mission....they're young and dumb.

[chocolatefrog63]

Fetish content, fat Sneep is being a dick but in the good sense

Hermione's shift was almost over, but the pile of paperwork on her desk kept her in place. There was nothing wrong with documenting things, but the Ministry's old-fashioned bureaucracy, with this periphrastic formal language, felt so dull and annoying... And a message from Severus made it even worse for her.

"I ordered a French cuisine dinner for us, the delivery is almost there ❤"

Hermione couldn't help but smiled, seeing a little heart symbol. Only with her Severus felt comfortable enough to use an emojis. Her smile faded when she looked back at the document folders and typed a response.

"Sorry Sev, I have a lot of work. I'll be late, don't wait for me."

"💔"

Hermione sighed and returned to the work. It was hard to focus on the reports when the image of Severus enjoying... what exactly? As far as she remembered, the French cuisine is infamous for the unholy amount of butter...

"Focus, Hermione! Discipline your mind..." She muttered to herself, her knuckles were white from the tension as she grabbed the pen.

The phone beeped again. An update on Severus' blog. Of course Hermione turned the notifications on.

"Working on the new review."

Working... Damn freelance blogger. It took all of her willpower to not peek on the attached photo... for a five minutes. Then Hermione texted Severus again.

"How's it going?"

"Frog legs and snails in the cream sauce taste much better than those in the preserving solution."

"You ate the potion ingredients in Hogwarts?!"

"I prefer to call it a taste test."

Hermione wasn't sure if she wanted to know about it... But okay. She couldn't concentrate on the paperwork either way, so she wrote an another message.

"Send a selfie."

She expected to see Severus smiling like a contented cat, with a creamy sauce all over his chubby cheeks and plump lips, but... not that.

"Oops, accidentally messed the clothes up. Had to take them off and put in the laundry."

Severus sent a photo of him half-naked, in all his gluttonous glory. Professional studio lamps highlighted every soft curve of his large body. He needed them for the blog, he said... Now Hermione knew their true purpose. Of course Severus, as a potion master, could remove any spot from his clothes with a magical cleaning spell, but he teased her intentionally.

"Dick."

"As you wish ❤"

And then, Hermione received... well, exactly what she asked for. She wasn't ready when Severus' manhood appeared on her phone screen, already erected. He knew it would drive Hermione mad, and she will fuck him senseless in revenge when she will get back to home. Not make love, but namely fuck - roughly, angrily, fiercely, leaving scratches all over his back and bruises all over his torso.

"!!!"

It was the only response Hermione managed to type with a trembling hands. A bright crimson blush colored her cheeks and ears, her lower belly felt tied into a tight knot from the overwhelming desire. Severus' plan seemed to work perfectly well, as always. Hermione had to turn the phone off for a solid minute and catch her breath, then she opened the chat again.

"I left a nicoise salad and an orange crepes for you."

"I'll shove them into your throat."

"Is that a threat or a flirt?"

"Both."

At this point, she gave up. Hermione grabbed all the papers, somehow stuffed them into her bag and quickly left the office, hoping that nobody would notice her flustered face.

***

When Hermione got to home and stormed in the room, Severus already was waiting for her in the bright lights of the studio lamps. Imposingly half-laying on the couch, he was naked completely, getting off the clothes beforehand to not waste the time on the buttons. On the table in front of him, there were an empty boxes of the main course dishes - Severus didn't throw them away yet, leaving them for the scale, so Hermione could gauge how full he already was.

Desserts, though, stayed untouched... He kept them for her.

"Good eve..." Hermione didn't let Severus to finish the sentence, sealing his lips with a passionate kiss. She saddled his thigh, firmly grabbing his shoulder as if preventing him from escaping. Her other hand meanwhile was kneading his soft middle - Hermione had a busy day, so she needed to squeeze her favorite stressball.

"What a willpower," Hermione smirked after the kiss, looking back at the desserts on the table.

"It would be rude to not share with you. I'm a gentleman at heart, after all," Severus responded playfully, feeling the wetness of her desire on his lap.

"Gentlemen don't send dickpics," Hermione said in a mock serious tone, picking a chocolate cupcake. She didn't complain, though...

When Severus took a generous bite, the liquid filling spilled over his face and dripped onto his chest. Hermione didn't expect such a surprise from a mere cupcake, but from now this dessert definitely would be one of her favorites.

"Ah, fondant au chocolat", Severus swallowed heavily and spoke before the next bite. "It literally means 'a melting chocolate' in French."

"You can speak French?" Hermione was kissing away the liquid chocolate from Severus' bosom, but paused, hearing a foreign words.

"Actually no. I just gather some info for my blog, that's all..." Severus popped the rest of cupcake in his mouth.

As much as Hermione loved the sight of Severus shamelessly indulging, her body required a physical stimulation. She lifted the fat roll of his belly to get a better access to his already hard member, but Severus stopped her. He took a small bottle with a vanilla flowers on the label and generously poured the thick liquid onto his groin.

"Don't tell me that it's a syrup," Hermione was genuinely intrigued, smelling the delicate vanilla scent.

"Lubricant. Edible, by the way..." Severus murmured, gently pulling her close.

"You're insufferable..." She huffed, as her inner muscles clenched impatiently around his length.

"And you love me for that," Severus smirked before Hermione shut him up with an eclair.

***

Severus physically couldn't move. He felt pinned down to the sofa by the weight of all the food stuffed in his swollen stomach, and his limbs still were numb from the few orgasms in a row.

"Let me..." Hermione, being in the trance-like bliss too, somehow found her wand on the table and brought a wet sponge to her hand with a levitation spell.

She loved an aftercare part no lesser than the intercourse itself. Gently wiping away all the cream and crumbles, paying attention to the each fold of his gorgeous body... Removing the scratches left in the peak moments with a healing charms... Feeling how full his stomach was, tenderly massaging the tight spots and coaxing an involuntarily burps... It was just heavenly.

"Thank you..." Severus murmured quietly, melting under Hermione' soft touches.

***

Few hours later, when Severus' stomach more than less settled down, he slowly and carefully tried to slip from the sofa.

"Where...?" Hermione mumbled in her sleep, feeling Severus' attempt to escape her embrace.

"Bathroom", he whispered in answer.

Hermione grunted, still staying asleep, but loosened her grip on him.

Technically, it wasn't a lie, he indeed needed to relieve himself. But after that, Severus didn't return to the bed... Instead, he putted a silencing charms on the door to not wake Hermione up, and took the documents from her bag.

Severus was a former spy and double agent, it wasn't a problem for him to fake Hermione's handwriting and finish the paperwork for her. Despite being an utter dick from time to time, he sincerely loved her, he cared for her.

In the morning, Hermione woke up refreshed and well-rested. She was worried about the work, but then she found out that all her reports were fulfilled and sorted in the folders.

"Thank you..." Hermione whispered to Severus, who was napping peacefully. Being a freelancer, he could allow himself to sleep for a bit longer.

***

In her office, Hermione opened Severus' blog. What was the name of this chocolate dessert again? She decided to get some of that on her way back...

[marauders1971-1978]

Muffliato (1972-73 Chapter 7)

“Shut up !” And then he sat up ramrod straight. Lily jumped in alarm. 

“Are you alright?” 

He was fiddling in the pocket of his robes and Lily watched his hand as he carefully pulled his wand free. He leaned closer to her, his dark hair was getting so long it was starting to curl up around his ears. “Got something cool to show you.” He whispered. 

He flicked his wand under the desk. “Muffliato.”

Nothing happened. 

“Cool.” Said Lily dryly, looking around for what Severus had tried to change. She earned herself another kick. 

“That’s the first time I’ve tried it in such a big room,” Severus admitted, still whispering. “We should test it.”

“Test what exactly?” Severus ignored her. Instead, he cleared his throat and spoke quite clearly.

“Lily Evans fancies Remus Lup-.”

Before he’d managed to finish the sentence, Lily had clapped her hand over his mouth, which did earn an interested stare from the Slytherin girl sitting at the desk to her left. Aside from her, nobody seemed interested in this hot slice of gossip that Severus had offered up for them. She could feel Severus’ wicked grin under her palm. 

“Sev, what the hell ?” 

“Look! It worked!” He pushed her hand away so he could talk freely, his dark eyes roaming around the room with a bright excitement. “I’ve only tried it on Lennox before, but he’s so ignorant, it’s hard to tell if he’s just ignoring me.”

He was speaking at his normal volume and Lily watched the back of Lennox’s orange head, waiting for him to whip around in anger, but he seemed completely deaf to Severus’ comments. 

“Have you silenced us or something? Where did you learn that?”

“Kind of,” he smirked at her, clearly pleased with himself. That smile took her back to the hundreds of sunny afternoons in Cokeworth where he would revel in telling her little snippets of information about the wizarding world. She thought he and Remus were similar in that way - they both liked to be asked questions - though she would never be foolish enough to tell either of them that observation. 

Severus pulled from his bag the thin book he had shown her before. It was the spellbook he’d been carrying since last year. He put it on the desk between them, shielded conveniently by their snails busily filling the mesh with their silvery trails, and flicked through it before settling on the page he had been looking for. Lily eyes the page edges. They looked softer, and darker. No doubt Severus had spent many long hours flicking back and forth through it. 

Their heads touched - orange and black - as she leaned in to see where he was pointing. 

“I saw this section on illusions, right? Obviously he’s going over the normal stuff, glamour charms and whatever.”

Lily nodded as though she had any idea what a glamour charm was and made a mental note to look it up when she was free. 

“Well they’ve gone and written a load of theory for visual illusion charms and it’s a bit complicated, but it doesn’t need to be for simple illusions, right? Say you want a spell to make yourself invisible - that’s so hard, I don’t even know where you’d start, but if you want to make it look like a fly just flew around in the corner of someone’s eye - easy!”

Lily raised an eyebrow. “Is it?” The neat writing was packed so tightly in the lines of the page that it was hard to read. Then, to further complicate it, it was littered with arrows and sideways additions in the margins. Lily was no fool - in fact, she fancied herself as quite good at magic and a generally adept student. This was something else, however. Reading it was like trying to follow a stranger’s train of thought without knowing where it had started. Severus, apparently, had no trouble jumping aboard mid-journey. 

“So if it’s easy to make an illusion of something people are kind of used to waving away, then I was wondering about things people are expecting to hear - or things that are accepted or unnoticed. Like hearing your name called, or ringing in your ears.”

As interesting as it was, Lily was over the preamble. What was much more interesting to her than the theory, was the notion that Severus has made up a spell.