#severe cervical pain
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Say goodbye to neck aches! Our guide dives deep into Cervical Pain Relief: treatments, prevention strategies, and the power of ANF Therapy®.
#anf therapy#inflammation#wellness#physical therapy#pain therapy#chronic pain#doctors#education#anf academy#cervical pain#neck pain#arm pain#Cervical Pain Relief#Nerve compression#nerve pain#stiffness#severe cervical pain#anf devices
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Posted to female oncology ward for these two weeks and all I can say is cancer is cruel but amidst that pain and sorrow, you can really see true love in that ward
#saying this in light of one of my group's fav patient that passed away after my shift last morning#shes in her early 30s and was a teacher and was diagnosed with breast cancer that metastases to lung and cervical lymph nodes#she was weak since she was admitted last week and usually just sleep but shes so nice every time we administered medication to her#or even when we check her vital signs despite how tired she was#her husband is a teacher too and as of late hes there every day as her condition deteriorated#apparently she wanted to undergo chemotherapy but her first cycle led to some severe side effects so her doctor doesn't allowed it#when we read the case note before clocking out the shift yesterday theres a psychiatrist entry so yeah#her husband was just caressing her hands as she slept yesterday and he looks obviously pained when my friend asked what had she eaten#because we need to fill the intake output chart and yeah she was unable to eat much anyway#it was very sad to see her husband wiping his tears silently by her bedside#and then we came to the ward this morning to find out she had passed away and there was a discharge note on her case note#apparently she supposedly will be discharged today so that she will be able to go at home#turned out she left first..#it rained the whole morning today and it kind of summarizes the mood of our group members this morning#it was sad obviously but when i think about it you can really see how much her husband really cared for her until the end#i hope he will be able to heal and that may her soul rest in peace#personal.txt
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i'm getting my cervix poked today and not in the fun way. nevertheless it must be done, and i highly recommend cervical screenings to anybody that procedure applies to. early detection is so so important when it comes to cancer, my mum would still be alive if they found it in stage one, so i implore you not to ignore your body
#the standard default is once every 5 years and i say Fuck That and im getting it done every year from now on#i had one last year and i was fine. so fingers crossed#but yeah with cervical cancer its gotta be found as soon as possible#my mum was in stage four by the time they found it#it had already imbedded itself in several of her internal organs (making the bladder and uterus and bowel attached)#and therefore was impossible to remove#if it was caught in stage one? they coulda just cut out her cervix and womb. she didn't need 'em anymore#and she'd be alive right now#so. just. i really need to stress early detection to people#i need less people to suffer like my mum did. she was eaten from the inside#the cancer spread around her entire torso. it was a vicious hateful all consuming thing#i know applying moral value to a disease makes no sense. but i understand it now... it felt like... evil#so please. PLEASE. i am literally begging you. to get checked out every year if you can#the type of cancer my mum had couldn't be detected in blood tests so thats not good enough#also also if you're bleeding around the clock or during non-period times? for SURE get tested#because those are symptoms of cervical cancer :(#so is pink blood. thats a big uh oh. also pain deep inside during vaginal sex? that can be a sign#just. just watch out okay? fuck
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#50 year old from Punjab#was suffering with Neck Pain & very severe right. Arm & forearm Pain reaching going up to ring finger#Pain#🥴🥴🥴 was unbearable giving sleepless night#scared with Open surgery & complications#MRI Cervical Spine showing large right sided C6- C7 PIVD#we did removal of fragment & Performed ACDF (Anterior Cervical Disectomy & Fusion). Immediately in post op Pain gone#in arm#& forearm#smile 😊😊😊 back on face. Spine surgeries are now very safe surgery in experts hand.#MOBILITY IS LIFE 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃#.#--------------#Dr. Pankaj Trivedi#MBBS#MS#MCh (SGPGIMS)#Endoscopic Spine & Brain Surgeon#------#Book Appointment#Call: 98143 31317#spinemasters#EndoscopicSpineSurgery#stitchlessspinesurgery#laserspinesurgery#stitchlessdiscsurgery#laserdiscsurgery#endoscopicdiscsurgery#lumbardiscsurgery#drpankajtrivedi
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Wait for your love | jjk (teaser)
— pairing: firefighter!jungkook x female reader
— genre: kind of exes to lovers, parents au, angst, fluff, and smut
— rating: 18+
— summary: sixteen years ago, your life was turned upside down when you surrendered to the temptation — none other than jungkook, the star basketball player on your school’s team. today, after all that time, you reunite under tragic circumstances; a car crash where he saves your life.
— words: 577
— author’s note: here you have the teaser of the fic i’m currently working on 🤗 you have a tiny little teaser below & i hope you’ll enjoy it ❤️
— tag list: let me know in any way if you want to be tagged when i post this and if you are part of my permanent taglist, you will automatically be added ✨
Jungkook and his team got called for a car accident involving several cars, and when they arrived, the scene was horrific.
There are probably five cars pressed and smashed one against the other. There are people injured and bleeding walking around the scene. Paramedics are already taking care of them, but Jungkook is walking to the cars to retrieve the people stuck inside. His captain screams orders and tells him which car he should go to.
His eyes look around, his heart breaking when he sees everyone involved and still stuck in their cars. Visions like this are quite common for him, it doesn’t happen all the time but it’s still recurrent. At the end of the day, his job is to save people in this type of situation.
When he reaches the car, he was assigned to, he takes a look at how many people there are inside. There’s just one person, a woman behind the steering wheel. She has her hand on her head, clearly showing that she might have a headache. She doesn’t really move. Instantly, Jungkook tries to open the door, but it’s showing a bit of resistance.
It feels impossible to open the door, but Jungkook sees the woman’s head falling. He’s getting worrier; she’s slumping into sleep which isn’t a good sign as she was holding her head barely seconds ago. He then proceeds to break the window so he can try to open it from inside. There are other possible ways, but it would be harder and more dangerous to get her out of the vehicle.
“Ma’am,” he says with urge.
Eventually, he manages to open the damn door from the inside. A good part of the car’s front is crashing into her. Before even thinking of taking her out, he places a cervical collar to protect her neck and spine.
“Ma’am,” he repeats. “Can you hear me?”
She doesn’t answer at all. Jungkook gets closer, his fingers brushing the hair from her face, but when he finally gets to properly see the woman’s face, his heart skips a beat. This woman is none other than you. His mind can’t start to get lost in the past right now. He needs to focus on taking you out of the car.
You’re in pretty bad shape.
There’s blood on your forehead, you most probably have a wound on top of your head. There’s also blood at the level of your stomach, turning your green shirt into a very dark color. He can distinguish a big fragment of glass shoved into your belly. It doesn’t look good. Your legs are also completely smashed by the front, causing the steering wheel to be very close to your body. Hopefully, your legs aren’t too injured. He doesn’t even want to start thinking about all the bruises on your body.
Slowly, he places one hand behind your back while his other hand slowly pushes your legs. He’s trying to be as careful as possible to avoid causing any other injury. His strong arms hold you once he manages to fully remove you from the car. His eyes look down at your face with evident pain. He notices how you’re trying to open your eyes which makes him think that you’re trying to fight the urge to fall asleep.
“Yn,” he says while walking to an ambulance. “Please, stay with me,” he whispers with despair. “I’ve finally found you, and I can’t lose you right away.”
#bts#bts imagine#bts fanfic#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#bts angst#jungkook angst#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#bts smut#jungkook smut#wait for your love#teaser#spideyjimin
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I think the most annoying thing about when my neck injury from the chiropractor flares up, is that it feels like cracking my neck will fix it.
It feels like if I just move right or stretch it far enough the permanent tension at the base of my skull will ease and my head will stop feeling like it’s a half inch too high on one side. (The misalignment is mere millimeters but it feels like a lot more. Feels like someone’s driven a shim between my skull and the atlas at the top of my spine.)
It won’t, of course. Because it’s not a too tight muscle making my head sit wonky. It’s protective scar tissue. Scar tissue that helps splint the area and keeps my skull from cronching my cervical vertebrae like an anvil punching through polystyrene ceiling tiles.
(It’s amazing how heavy your head feels when the muscles in your neck don’t work right.)
And even though I’m aware of this. Even though I’ve worked hard for several years in physical rehab to strengthen the area and relieve what pain I can, it just feels like popping my neck would fix it and it’s taking everything in me not to because that’s the devil talking.
I should probably find my brace, though. Maybe that’ll help.
#chronic health tag#injury#neck injury#it’s this fucking weather#all my joints are swollen#everything is aggravated#I need to be prescribed a rest by the sea in a temperate climate#like an ailing regency novel mama
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How to Cure Pains and Heartaches
☆ Pairing: Loki x Reader
☆ Synopsis: After such a bitter end, Loki has no choice but to fade away. To his surprise he awakens in bed where he will be taken care of. Why? What do they want of him? Who's that lovely mortal?
☆ Word Count: 6,266
☆ Notes: Loki being a swooning darling, he's recovering from injuries in a fix it AU where he survives the attack on the Statesman and he gets to live on earth.
☆ Warnings: Mention of Loki's trauma and torture courtesy of the Mad Titan, fuck you Thanos. Mention of gaining weight (but it isn't given a negative conotation).
No one could deny Loki had gone through a lot of stuff, simply his Asgardian nature and the amount of exposure he had had with war from a young age would (rightfully) horrify most Midgardians, plus the pressure of being royalty and the responsibility it demanded with him.
In retrospect, Loki always knew his amount of responsibility were no way near as high as Thor’s, which allowed Loki to get some relief by following his nature as God of Mischief. But still: meetings, war council, royal balls, and in general trying to keep an image of perfection to most of Asgard other than Thor’s group and his parents who truly knew of Loki’s more playful nature, it was quite draining.
And that was before the true horrors.
That one trip to Jotunheim had been the source of over a decade of disgrace. Knowing all that battle would cause, he never would’ve let those three other Jotuns into the vaults of Valaskjalf.
After that, it was tragedy after tragedy. And the worst of them happened in the Sanctuary II.
At first, he thought some bounty hunters had recognized him, given they seem to know who he was, and the only reason they spared his life was because it would be about a matter of time until they’d bargain his life with Odin.
But after several months where he was starved, and his only contact was to be tortured, where the Black Order tore his body apart bit by bit, breaking bones, tearing skin only to throw him back into an isolation cell, where all that kept him together was his pride and the thought that Heimdall could see him and start a rescue mission, thing he learned years later couldn’t be done.
And when he didn’t cave in, they shattered his mind as well, using the Mind Stone on his scepter, giving him no choice but to submit. Everything bad in his life prior to that point seemed to be blissful field trip.
And for many years later he thought he would spend the rest of his life suffering to atone to the horrors he unleashed onto Jotunheim and New York. And by the time the Sanctuary II intercepted the Asgardian escape ship on its way to Earth, and he felt himself fading from reality… nothing had proved him otherwise.
At least he had protected his brother…
…
Who would’ve thought that the next time he opened his eyes he would be laying in a hospital bed, flowers by his ankles and a cervical collar? He had a thousand questions. Where was he? Who brought him there? Why had he been saved? Why couldn’t they let him just die?
Just when he thought it was another round of the same type of torture the Black Order inflicted on him, the door opened… Only about a few hours after waking up, and just in time when his stomach started growling.
The first time he saw you, you felt like a vision. Beautiful and most of it all, kind.
“Loki how are you feeling?” you smiled at him, as you stepped inside the room with a tray of warm food. The smell made his mouth water. “Were you waiting for long? Sorry, I didn’t hear you wake up.”
Loki was quietly staring at you. Not only because his throat was dry, but because he had no idea who you were or what were your intentions.
But you didn’t seem bothered by his silence. You just let out a little chuckle.
“You seem more active today” you smiled, “Usually you can only stay awake for a few seconds. Are you hungry?”
Loki wanted to be proud and say nothing, but his body’s needs were stronger, and a rather loud growl of his stomach gave it away how hungry he was, making his cheeks flare up in embarrassment.
“Don’t worry, I would be hungry too if I hadn’t eaten anything in 5 years” you spoke compassionately, but with a hint of humor.
5 years?!?
“How long have I been here?” he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse beyond recognition, and it hurt to speak.
“Oh, you poor thing, you must be thirsty” you said as you reached his food tray and grabbed a cup of water with a straw and placed it just before his lips. “About your question, a few weeks, a Stark satellite detected a faint life signal and Thor went to find you.”
You spoke in such a humane manner that Loki couldn’t help but lower his guard a bit, and he opened his mouth as you helped him drink.
The water was cold and fresh, it felt so relieving that he couldn’t hold back a sigh when he finished drinking, that only happened when the cup was empty.
You let out a soft giggle at the sight of him. It was then that he recognized you, sort of.
He vaguely remembered your laugh, it was faint, but if he pushed himself to think about it, it was there. He never saw your face, but the sound was familiar, so he concluded it must have been previous visits while he was still unconscious.
It was a pretty sound… innocent, pure.
“You mentioned my brother…” Loki asked. “Is he…?”
As he made his question, you set a table before him and the tray on top of it. It was a huge bowl of soup, and one of mashed potatoes. His stomach growled once again.
“Thor has been visiting you every day practically without exception” you told him. “He talks to you, keeps you updated about his life. Last week he came with Doctor Foster, it seems they started seeing each other again. But we’ve notified him you’re finally awake.”
You sat beside him on the edge of the bed and grabbed the spoon on the tray and started feeding him the soup. It was so warm, and the flavor was rich, that his eyes started watering. What cruel trick was all this kindness? When would this all go South?
His forming tears didn’t go unnoticed, and you cupped his face, your soft fingers caressing his cheeks to clean his tears.
“You don’t have a fever, does it hurt anywhere?” you asked.
“No… I feel per—” he choked on his words, “I feel perfectly fine… all things considered.”
“I’ll monitor your reflex later, but first focus on eating” you said gently. “You need to regain your strength.”
You didn’t have to tell him twice, he was so hungry that if he had had more strength, he would just hold the bowl and chug it all down. By the time he was onto the mashed potatoes he was a lot stronger, the second meal was just as tasty, seasoned just right to make him want to keep eating until his stomach popped.
He even let out a soft little breathy burp, which made you giggle again.
“Don’t eat so fast!” you scolded him with a happy tone.
He found it in himself to laugh softly along with you.
“5 years without food, I remind you” he joked back. “I’ll eat as fast as I can.”
“You were blipped 5 years... you didn’t age a day.”
“Blipped?”
You spent the next few minutes filling him in what had happened. Thanos won, and half of the universal population vanished, for them it was only a few minutes at most… while the rest of the universe aged 5 years. Five years, where everyone thought he was dead, where he was dead.
Now, Loki wanted to cry. The amount of relief that washed over him made him rest back.
“Finally… I’m free…” he sighed. “It’s over… he’s gone…”
He tried covering his eyes when he noticed the sting coming from his left arm, he noticed a cast neatly wrapped around it.
“Your neck injury was the most concerning, but your arm and ankle were badly wounded as well” you explained, and he noticed another cast covering his foot from arch to his ankle. “Although your foot is mostly healed by now.”
He put some attention to his bandaged foot and wiggled his toes, which thank the gods responded perfectly.
“It’s a bit itchy” Loki pointed out.
“I’m pretty sure that’s normal” you chuckled and grabbed a pencil from your pocket, and sneaked it in his cast, and scratched his sole. “Here.”
But the touch, while it somewhat alleviated the itch, it had an unexpected tickly feeling that caused Loki to yelp and jerked his foot back.
“Hehe-hey!” he giggled.
“I’m sorry” you apologized with a soft chuckle.
“You’re lucky I’m too weakened to put a dagger to your throat” Loki spoke, but he noticed he couldn’t get rid of the amusement in his voice.
“Perhaps I should take the chance to really make you laugh then.” You smiled, twirling the pencil on your fingers. “Given you can’t do anything to stop me.”
“Don’t even think about it!” Loki blurted out, “If you even dare to… to…”
He felt his cheeks flush. It had been so long since he had been tickled, it felt silly, plus he was quite vulnerable right now.
“Don’t worry, I won’t do anything to upset you” you assured him, “…yet.”
You let out another soft laugh at the indignation in his face.
“Do you not know the consequences of crossing me?” Loki asked, “Are you that ignorant of the capabilities of the God of Mischief? I have terrorized this realm, Midgard bows before my power! I could finish you with a single hand.”
“What would you get out of it?” you asked bluntly. “You live here now; you would only lose.”
He looked at you and opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it again. Not only was he too weak right now to even keep that threat, but truly besides that little tickle you had been nothing to but kind to him, and even that had been with the intention to help him.
“Do you truly not fear me?” Loki asked after another moment of silence.
“Should I?” you asked with a happy smile.
Perhaps he found that little grin of yours to be too charming, it could be the fact that you had his food and water at your mercy, or it could be the fact that you were a purely friendly presence, which he hadn’t had in… he couldn’t remember for how long. But he truly didn’t want you to be scared of him.
“I suppose not” he finally said.
“Predictable.”
Loki let out a laugh.
“You’re a funny little one” Loki smiled.
Just then a loud noise came in as if something huge was stomping their way through the hall. Which proved to be not far off because soon a large blond figure tumbled onto the door frame.
“Brother…” both Asgardians said in unison.
The older brother’s eyes filled with tears as he rushed to the bed, and with the last self-control he possessed, Thor didn’t tackle the raven haired into a bear hug. Just… collapsed on his knees by the side of his bed.
“You’re awake…” the God of Thunder burst into messy sobs. “…Alive.”
In other times, Loki would’ve found Thor’s reaction ridiculous, mockable, or annoying… but after all they had been through and seeing the streak of his own hair tangled in one of Thor’s braids… he let out a soft sob as he gently reached to place his hand on Thor’s head.
“Ahem!” you cleared your throat to make yourself present. “As long as you’re careful with his neck, you two can hug.”
You smiled and left the room to give them space. Both brothers let out a laugh and Thor cradled his little brother in his arms, supporting his head as if he was a baby as his other hand was squeezing Loki.
“I told you the sun would shine on us again” Loki spoke softly.
“You idiotic, insincere, irresponsible, impulsive, inconsiderate fool!” Thor scolded him, sounding more relieved than anything.
“Oh, good, you ran out of insults that started with an I” Loki laughed.
“I beg you, brother. Never give me a scare like that again” Thor begged.
“In my defense, I didn’t fake it this time” he whispered.
There was an awkward silence as none of the princes knew what to say to each other, there was so much to say, but… where to start?
“I… heard you started seeing Doctor Foster again.”
That made Thor smile as started telling Loki what he had done with his life, how Asgard was doing, which was what finally broke Loki, hearing Asgard managed to live on was that finally burst into tears as he hugged his brother again.
The two brothers talked for hours, and for the first time in years, if not ever, Loki felt the conversation with his brother be purely lighthearted. He was so lost in the chat that it took him hours to notice…
“You’ve gained weight” Loki pointed out.
“Quiet, you imp…” Thor snorted. “It’s been tough these last 5 years.”
“I… did not mean to be judgmental” Loki assured him. “It just… I’ve been out for so long…”
“Well, don’t get used to this, I’m already exercising again, and I’m renouncing to beer… aside from social events” Thor said happily.
“Oh? I didn’t know you drank” Loki tilted his head. “But… good for you.”
Thor’s face darkened, making Loki immediately regret his comment.
“It was… Very rough five years…” Thor said again. “I suppose time wasn’t kind on me.”
Loki felt a pang of guilt settle on his chest, after Ragnarök he truly had no intention to pull another stunt like that. For once, he had every intention to stick by Thor’s side.
But at the time the Sanctuary II intercepted their ship, all Loki could think was protecting Thor. Because he knew that if anything happened to his brother, no one else would’ve had a fighting chance against the Mad Titan. But he had been reckless.
“I— I’m sorry brother…” Loki apologized, and Thor smiled at him. “How’s Asgard?”
“It’s been difficult as you may imagine… but, you know… us Asgardians are stubborn, we’ve managed.” Thor smile. “Little Asgard is thriving!”
“Oh, I’m painfully aware, you’re all a nightmare” Loki joked, making Thor laugh again.
Despite his sarcasm, something in the way Thor said us Asgardians made Loki smile, by now Thor knew very well his true nature, and yet he still treated him as one of his own, like his brother, maybe not bound by blood, but by something stronger.
The conversation kept going until Loki’s stomach growled in hunger, but by then the sun had set a while ago. And it didn’t take long after when you had stepped in the room with a tray of food and Thor excused himself for the night.
The meals were simple and soft for a good while, porridge, broths and soups, sauce-less pastas, yogurts, Jello, but having a pretty mortal such as yourself literally feeding him and tending to his every whim made his recovery quite pleasant. Especially when he started eating solid foods again and the meals were a lot tastier.
“You’re healing quite fast,” you told him as you checked monitored his ribs for any soreness. “I’ve heard injuries usually take maybe 3 or 4 times longer to heal. …In the best of circumstances, but Stephen said your bones are practically all healed now.”
“If someone can pull out a miracle like that, a god should be the right place to go” he joked as he kept holding his shirt up so you could.
“That’s fair, also having the best doctors and technology at our disposal helps, doesn’t it?” you quipped.
“Do not underestimate my divinity, mortal” he said dramatically.
“Oh, yes, forgive me, your godly-ness…” you bowed just as dramatically.
“You’ve been gaining weight” you said as you prodded your stomach.
He let out a yelp.
“Rude” he said cheekily.
“No, I mean, you were practically nothing but skin and bones when we found you” you assured him, “I mean you seem healthier now. You must be in your healthy weight again by now.”
“Do not flatter me” Loki smirked.
“Flatter you?” you gasped out a laugh. “Nonsense, it’s been my care the reason you no longer look like a malnourished cat!”
He did not expect you to start prodding and squeezing his belly, instantly causing him to burst out laughing. Curse his gut for being this vulnerable to your playful fingers.
“Nohohohoho! Don’t!” he whined between cackles. “Stohohohop!”
“Oh my god!” you laughed and gave him a small breather “I didn’t even have to do anything… But if you insist…”
“W-What…? Insist…?”
“I won’t stop…”
“W-What? N-No! PLEHEHEHEASE! NO! STOP!” Loki begged despite his pride, but the way you kept squeezing his belly, giving his skin soft pinches made him wheeze out shaky laughter was too much. “NOT MY— NOHOHOHOHOHO!”
You started focusing on the patch of skin around his belly button, which surprisingly enough was even more ticklish than his navel itself. He started digging his heels onto the mattress as he arched and squirmed on the bed.
“Okay, okay!” you squeaked out as you grabbed his ankle, forgetting your playful attack, to settle him back on bed. “Easy there… you’ll hurt your foot again.”
He was more focused on catching breath, but he still felt you helping him stretch and move his ankle to check if he hadn’t hurt himself in the middle of his squirming.
“You’re… huff… huff… the worst nurse…” he groaned.
“Ask for another nurse who can deal with you” you chuckled as you gently tickled his sole making him let out a giggle.
You weren’t exactly part of the medical team, but after everything that had happened, the Avengers were understaffed, and every task that Tony’s technology couldn’t fill in were done by the Avengers themselves, his brother and Maximoff twins helped with cleaning, Bruce and Clint cooked, Tony handled the finances (in more than just been the Compound’s sponsor), and so and so.
You were a lab assistant, although, not in the medical field. Yet, given your friendly nature and bond with the God of Thunder, Thor himself had entrusted you to look after his most precious thing, his little brother. But under normal circumstances, you’d be working with chemicals or mechanics by the side of your mentors and the Spiderling.
Although now, you had been tasked solely to look after Loki, given no one else was capacitated to deal with him and you seemed to understand each other, and Loki even had friendly interactions with you. Or well, friendly for Loki.
“Get up!” you whined pulling him by his healthy arm.
“I don’t want to” Loki protested.
“Why not?” you huffed defeatedly as you let go of him.
“I don’t exactly feel excited to be sat on a cold table to be prodded and squeezed and all to get stabbed.”
“Injections aren’t the same as getting stabbed, you big baby” you laughed, as you poked his sides, causing Loki to jump and swat your hand away.
“It’s a sharp metal piercing my skin, isn’t it?” he defended himself as he crossed his arm across his chest. “Call me a baby if you please, but it doesn’t excite me being pierced by your tiny blades.”
“L-Loki… are you afraid of needles?” you asked with an amused smile, he could tell by your tone that you were holding back laughter.
“I am not!” he scoffed.
“Oh! You are!” you smiled immensely.
“Is this funny to you?”
“N-No… Don’t worry, it’s cute. I used to fear needles too, you know, when I was five.” You grinned.
Loki’s ears perked up.
“That was a lie” he smiled cockily.
“What?”
“That’s a lie” he repeated himself. “You either still fear them or just recently stopped doing so.”
“Wha— that’s…” your cheeks turning pink were the last tell.
“God of Lies, don’t bother denying it. I can tell when some lies to me” he grinned triumphantly. “Don’t worry, it’s cute.”
You huffed as you smacked the back of his hand.
“And here I was going to tell you my trick to control my nerves” you huffed.
“Which is…?” Loki asked, partly to tease you, but deep down actually wanting to know.
You shuffled through your bag and pull-out headphones and handed them to him. Loki forced himself to ignore the way your hand brushed against his when you handed them to him.
“Just close your eyes and listen to some music” you smiled, “it helps with a lot of things. But if you need to you can hold my hand and squeeze it if you get scared.”
He smiled at you. “Thank you.”
“Tell you what, if you’re brave, I’ll make sure you have your favorite ice cream for dessert today. How does that sound?” you offered.
“I’m not a child you can’t bribe like that” Loki rolled his eyes, “… Two bowls.”
You nodded and helped him get up and walk to get his check up and vaccine. Given how long he had been in bed, he was still doing some rehab and needed help to walk longer distances.
And he did take your word and held your hand all the time, although he did notice it was you who squeezed his hand when the needle came out. He had even forgotten to put on the headphones by the time the needle was out. And you did keep your word of spoiling him with his favorite ice cream.
“The second bowl is gonna melt, so you might as well eat it with me…” he mumbled between bites.
In a few months Loki was practically fully recovered and soon he was starting his rehab trainings. And of course, he had already picked a sparring partner.
“Do not go easy on me” Loki stated the first time.
“Oh, you like it rough then?” you grinned as you two circled around each other on the sparring mat. “Duly noted.”
He was not one new to flirtatious exchanges. He had been alive for over a millennium, and he had had plenty lovers before. But for some reason your banter made him flustered and tied his tongue into a knot.
“If I wanted it rough, I’d pick literally anyone else, agent” Loki excused himself. “You couldn’t take me if you tried.”
“Couldn’t I?” you grinned, noticing his cheeks flare up.
Damn you, you tenacious and annoyingly perceptive little thing.
“In a fight, you pest” Loki huffed.
“Ah, bummer” you smiled cheekily.
And while it was true that your human strength wasn’t a match for his regular god-like standards, you actually provided an interesting challenge. Besides, he was still recovering so using his full strength wasn’t an option anyway. You were fast, and you jumped around him like a rabbit and landed the softest blows as he spun around you trying to follow or even read your patterns.
“What’s wrong, is the mighty God of Mischief unable to catch up?” you smiled as you poked his ribs lightly before sneaking away.
You didn’t expect Loki to yelp.
“D-Don’t!”
Your face was puzzled for just a second, but as soon as it had happened, you had put two and two together and grinned in an almost cartoonish way.
“I think this training just became more fun” you smile as you poked him again.
“Do not even think about it!” he huffed, as a nervous smile twitched its way into his lips.
“What happened to not go easy on you? I’m just obeying.” you grinned and started chasing him after.
The way you wiggled your fingers with a mischievous in his direction awoke something primally playful. And as a bright smile appeared on his face, he started running away from you.
“You will never catch me!” he called as he ran.
You laughed and ran after him.
He would never admit it out loud, but the way he felt in that moment was rejuvenating, he hadn’t done something so silly and non-transcendent purely for the sake that it was fun. But you were ditching training to chase him around under the threat of tickling him if you caught him. All for the sake of playing with him like a kid despite both of you being young adults. And even more surprising is that Loki found himself eager to play along, even if the idea of getting tickled made him nervous.
Which… eventually did happen, curse his weakened stamina and aching ankle. That day he also learned to fear when you threatened him with tickles, you were devastating when you wanted to be.
“Nohohoho!” he laughed as your fingers dug onto his stomach. “This is ehehehe cruel!”
By the time you had caught up with him you had already reached the living room and he had tumbled onto the couch.
“Oh my gosh, you’re so ticklish!” you giggle, your finger swirling around his navel.
“Ehehehehe! Get away from there!” he laughed. “Oh Norns! Stop it!”
“C’mon, Loki, you’re a big guy, you can take it!” you giggled and kneaded his belly sides with your fingers with terrifying skill.
But you were kind enough to give him a break.
“Gods abohohohohove, I’m begging you, dove!” he whined. “Don’t torturehehehehe me like this!”
But it somehow served to strengthen your bond. Loki already had a good concept of you, you were a kind and generous person. You were one of the few people he could’ve called a friend. But seeing you weren’t completely disciplined and were willing to break schedule to have mindless fun was relieving. He feared that living in a S.H.I.E.L.D. building would mean they expected him to become a soldier.
So, he started looking for you out of the designated times you had together. He had come to really like to come and annoy you when you were working, playing with your pencils, hiding your stuff, and of course tickling you to distract you when he was craving your attention… which happened pretty often.
“Lohohohoki!” you whined. “I’m wohohorking!”
“I’m not saying you should stop” he grinned as he skittered his fingers along your ribs and sides, just gently scratching over your thin shirt. “Take this as a test of your focus.”
“Nohohohoho, Loki!” you wheezed. “Ihihihit’s so bahahahad! Stohohohop ihihit!”
“Mm~ I’m not sure” he purred in your ear, knowing damn well how much it made you curl up in a ball. “I kinda like hearing the noises you make, they’re… what’s the word? Cute~”
You screeched as you hid your face with your hands, muffling your laughter. Norns, you were so precious. He may have been teasing you when he said you were cute, but he meant it.
You were a lovely company, helping him heal by doing his routines and rehabilitation regimes, while he reviewed the files regarding New Asgard. You massaged his healing ankle while Loki read the documents that were handed to him.
“This is absolutely atrocious!” Loki scoffed smacking the files. “What is this, Infinity Conez? Who approved this? Look at this! Thanos getting the Infinity Stones is a universal tragedy, but to my people more than anyone!”
“Well, that’s why Thor created the New Asgard Council” you reminded him. “He gets help ruling Asgard, and Asgard gets a group of capable people leading them. You have voice and vote.”
“They will hear about this” Loki said firmly. “I will not allow my people to see that when they go to the market! That’s just disrespectful and heartless!”
“I agree with that” you nodded. “I’d be hurt to see something that traumatic turned into an attraction, there must be a better way to make an ice cream store. What about B-Ice Frost?”
“B-Ice Frost?” Loki asked.
“Yeah! A rainbow bridge themed ice cream store that actually gives a nod to your culture” you suggested. “The logo could an ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles.”
“Hmm, I’ll notify that suggestion,” Loki nodded as he wrote it down. “Thank you.”
Months into knowing each other and spending a ridiculous amount of time together, and Loki started noticing how being around you boosted his mood, he couldn’t stop thinking about certain details about you, like the way you played with your hands when you were nervous, or how you scrunched up your nose slightly when you smiled at him, how your eyes sparkled when you were assigned a new project you had been excited for, the butterflies in his belly when you placed your hands on him even to greet him or help him stretch before training. And…
Oh Gods… he was falling in love with you.
For a while he didn’t know what to do with himself. He tried carrying himself normally. But it was overwhelming the way he felt about you, it took one look in your direction, and he felt his heart racing. Trying to avoid you didn’t work either, because his entire being craved being around you, so that didn’t last too long. So, at some point, he stopped fighting it. He knew there was no way a being as good as you would even look in his direction, he was a monster, who had done unforgivable things to your planet.
Surely, your kindness had a limit. Surely, once he was fully healed, you’d forget about him. In fact, Loki feared the day he’d be considered fully recovered and you’d abandon him.
“C’mon, lazybones. We’re late for training” you grinned as you pulled him from the couch.
“I do not feel like training today” Loki yawned as he stretched out his arms to you as an invitation to hug him. “Why don’t we watch a movie? You can choose.”
The way your resolve faltered was beyond endearing. Even if you two weren’t anything, it was common knowledge you were what they called a cuddle bug.
“Loki… it’s important you do your rehab exercises” you said softly.
“I am not in the mood for training” Loki repeated.
“Oh, is that how it is?” you said in a playful yet menacing tone. “I’ll have to persuade you then.”
“What? N-No! D-dohohon’t!” Loki burst out laughing when he felt your fingers over his belly. “Nohohoho! Not thehehehehere!”
“Get up!” you teased him as your fingers pinched the sides of his stomach.
“I don’t wahahahant to!” Loki laughed as he kicked the cushions with his heels. “I’m comfortable hehehehere!”
“It’s important you do your exercises, it’s part of your rehab!” you insisted. “C’mon, doctor’s orders.”
“I dohohohon’t follow a mortal’s— ahaha orders!” he wheezed when you found that damned spot below his navel.
“Then I’m not stopping, you’ll spend the evening as a giggly wiggly worm.”
He had to give you something, you knew exactly how to make him squirm. His hips were bucking trying to stop you and his hands were pushing your wrist, but he wasn’t used to dealing with a normal human’s strength, so he didn’t want to risk hurting you.
“Pleahahahase! Cut it— OW!”
Immediately you jolted and stop everything you were doing, cupping your hands over your mouth and looking at him horrified.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” you asked.
“Yes, I’m quite alright. My back aches… that is all.” He assured you as he sat back up.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve been more careful, you’re still recovering.”
“Oh no, the back pain has been with me for quite a few years already” he said, wanting to ease your conscious.
“What…?”
“Well, yes. The Black Order aren’t exactly kind when they force you into their lines.” Loki said simply. “The pain comes back every so often.”
“I’m sorry…” you look at him. “Can I help?”
“Unfortunately, there’s nothing you could d—”
You surprised him by sitting behind him and started rubbing his shoulders, softly at first, feeling him.
“No wonder you are sore, you’re stiff like a board” you said feeling around his spine, soon starting to add more pressure.
He let out a few groans, it hurt a bit at first as you undid the knots of stress of his shoulders. He sighed as he soon felt himself slipping away.
“C’mere” you spoke with utmost softness, as you helped Loki rest on his stomach just to keep massaging his back. “Hehe, you take up most of the couch, I kinda forget how tall you are sometimes.”
“Sorry…” he yawned no even filtering his thoughts.
“It’s okay” you said amusedly, “it’s not a bad thing.”
Your hands rubbed his back with gentle and caring touch. You were so kind and meticulous. Your skill might be up for debate, you were good, but someone much pickier could argue there were professional masseuse that were much better. Perhaps that was true, but no one else had touched him so lovingly, so selflessly. You took your time, and he even noticed every so often you stopped to stretch your fingers that grew tired, but you didn’t complain, you didn’t stop.
He didn’t know when or for how long, but when he woke up you were still massaging your back.
“You snore when you sleep” you spoke in the softest voice, he didn’t want to get his hopes up, but you seemed endeared. “Had a nice nap?”
“Probably the best nap I’ve had since I was maybe 150 years old.” He said, letting out a chuckle at your confusion. “I was still a toddler by then.”
“I’m glad… you really seemed like you needed it” you said softly. “Do you feel better?”
He let out a yawn and stretch, rolling over on his back to look at you.
“Much better, thank you” he smiled politely.
“No problem…” you said with a shyness that was unfamiliar for him, he even got to see the pleasure to see a lovely blush adorning your cheeks. “Um… w-well… I’ll go to… you know…”
“Ah, of course…” he muttered as he saw you run off.
He was a little bit disappointed, but he tried not to think too much about your attitude for the sake of his sanity. Of course, he failed. It was the only thing he could think about
It made him build up the courage to go out for town and buy a bouquet. He thought about red roses, but he saw a bouquet of violets and purple sweet peas and white roses, he just knew that was the one.
He even used his phone for a change to ask you to meet him in the compounds garden, he hated using his cellphone. He had asked Banner to let him use his therapy flower greenhouse. He calculated the hour for the prettiest sky colors to ensure a romantic setting for his love declarations.
Minutes earlier his heart was thumping so loud it was drumming in his ears. He felt his mouth dry, and he was sweaty.
“Loki?” he finally heard your voice as you walked in.
“Over here!” he called as he set his bouquet, behind him, barely hiding it behind himself. “H-Hi… Thanks for coming.”
“No problem” you smiled. “I didn’t know you wanted to try Bruce’s gardening therapy. That’s really good.”
“N-No… I— Uh… I just wanted to… have some privacy.”
“Oh?” you asked as you sat behind him.
“I just… wanted to uh, give you this… as a thank you” Loki said, handing you the bouquet. “You’ve been exceedingly kind to me for months, helping me heal, keeping me in check, and that massage the other day… it really helped me feel better.”
“It’s been my pleasure. You’ve been a lovely patient” you said sweetly as you smelled the flowers.
“T-That’s not the only reason why I wanted to… see you here…” Loki barely spoke out, his mouth felt dry, and he felt lightheaded. “You’ve been a delightful company and a wonderful friend… I can’t say that about a lot of people, and probably even less can say the same thing about myself…”
“That’s not true.” You cut him off. “You’re funny, well-mannered, smart, educated, charmingly stubborn, and a stimulating company. There’s not a boring moment with you around.”
Loki’s cheeks flushed at your sweet words, you weren’t even trying to, but his heart fluttered.
“T-That’s why I mean, you are… a— uh… this is ah— not easy to say… but you… um… I appreciate you.”
“I like you too, you’re a lovely friend” you said sweetly.
“N-No… I am not trying to be friendly” Loki said in a quick gasp of courage. “I-I would like to f-formally court you.”
“Court me…?”
“I think here on Midgard it’s addressed as dating…” Loki said, bracing himself for rejection.
“I’d love to.”
“What…?” Loki asked.
“I’d love to go out with you” you said, gently kissing his cheek.
Loki grinned happily.
“Tomorrow at 8?” Loki offered, “I— we could go to a nice restaurant, I’ll take you there. I could ask for a chauffeur to take us… we— we could…”
You surprised him with a little poke on the ribs, that cut him off with the urge to giggle.
“8 is perfect, I’ll drive us to wherever you like” you smiled, “Just pick a restaurant. But, how about tonight I take you for a nice dinner inside and a movie on the lounge room?”
“I’d like that, very much” Loki smiled softly as he pressed his forehead against yours.
He saw you intertwine your fingers with his own, causing him to smile. You lovely thing. It was a lovely sensation. As you pulled him up to his feet, so he’d follow you inside. Which he did with a bright smile.
What a lovely life he had found on Earth.
| MASTERPOST |
#marvel tickles#marvel fluff#loki laufeyson#ticklish!loki#lee!loki#ler!reader#loki x reader#loki tickle#loki fluff#ducky writes tickles
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Over the past 17 years, I've had to give up many activities I used to enjoy due to my spinal cord injuries and surgery that is causing increasing pain and finally catching up to me after stemming from a traumatic car accident in 2007. It was the week before freshman year of college. A week filled with anticipation and excitement. But instead, life made me take a complete turn that day when a person committed a hit-and-run. I lost my two best friends who were in the car with me that day, and not a day goes by without me thinking of them.
I live with severe chronic pain and mobility issues every day. I suffered an incomplete L4/L5 spinal injury where I lost all feeling below my waist for a full 2 weeks. I suffered a cervical fracture in my C2, hence the beautiful and ever-so-cute Halo on my head. If you want people to look at you, put four screws in your skull, trust me.
It's a life of constant fear and trial and error—always hoping to wake up in no pain tomorrow, even though I know it's not the case. The chronic denervation of my S1 and L5 are permanent.
I will not let anything stop me in my relentless pursuit of passion despite battling chronic pain daily.
#chronic illness#abstract art#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#chronically ill#disabilities#disability#medical stuff#artist painter#digital art#acrylic paint#art#health#miracle#lucky#acrylic
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“Every year, about 25,000 (UK) women who give birth — approximately 4 per cent — are so distressed that they meet the diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder. That makes birth one of the biggest causes of PTSD in the UK according to the Birth Trauma Association charity – probably coming second only to sexual abuse and rape. Hundreds of thousands more women are traumatised. This is a major health crisis. And yet it is barely discussed…
According to figures from NHS Resolution, the arm of the Department of Health and Social Care that handles litigation, 62 per cent of the total clinical negligence cost of harm in 2022-23 (£6.6 billion) related to maternity.”
When my husband and I left for hospital on a Friday afternoon, we had no idea what would happen. The next few hours would change my life. For good and bad. It had all started with a cervical sweep the day before. I was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant and, frankly, I’d had enough. My pregnancy had been uncomplicated in terms of my baby — she was healthy throughout, albeit had spent much of her time in the back-to-back position. But I had found the nine months increasingly difficult. From around 20 weeks I’d suffered from pelvic girdle pain, which, for me, meant increasingly agonising pain in my lower back. Walking and other everyday movements became difficult. The only place I felt vaguely comfortable was in water. Swimming was a relief.
Women are offered a sweep to help induce labour. A midwife inserts their finger and sweeps around your cervix. It’s about as basic as you can get. They’re trying to separate the membranes of the amniotic sac that surround the baby from your cervix. This then releases hormones, which may help start your labour. “Some women find the procedure uncomfortable or painful,” NHS guidelines say. I found it excruciating.
“Oh,” the midwife said, as I lay in a rather compromised position. “I might have broken your waters.” This didn’t make sense to me. I’d always assumed that when my waters broke, I’d know about it. Apparently not always, and I was instructed to call the hospital if contractions hadn’t begun within 24 hours as I was now potentially at risk of infection.
They didn’t start. And I did what I’d been asked. The voice on the phone was chirpy — everything sounded fine, stay at home, we’ll be seeing you soon enough. Half an hour later, my phone rang. “Where are you? You’re meant to be at the hospital,” the woman said angrily. I needed to come in immediately to be examined.
It was late Friday afternoon and it was busy. We took the last of the beds in maternity triage. And my waters broke in earnest. That solved the mystery, I suggested. No, I was told, and the water birth I’d hoped for was out of the question — too risky.
Strong and regular contractions started immediately. We were moved to a glorified cupboard that had been turned into a makeshift holding room. I was denied any pain relief because it was “too early”, and told that someone would bring me some paracetamol when they came to “examine” me.
It seems obvious when you think about it, but I had never been told what being “examined” meant. Nor thought about it. It sounds medical. But it’s literally a midwife sticking their fingers inside you. I was 3cm dilated. Plenty of time to go, apparently. It was 9.30pm. I felt sick and in enormous pain. Both were dismissed — until I vomited everywhere. And lost control of my bowels. This would happen several more times over the coming hours. I felt utterly ashamed. Again, it’s common — but I hadn’t been told.
I continued to ask for pain relief and continued to receive none. An hour later, I was 7cm dilated — in full labour — and finally received some paracetamol. There was no space on the labour ward. In just another half an hour, I was fully dilated and ready for the baby to come out. No one seemed to know what to do. The midwives were panicking. And that made me scared. This was my first baby. I didn’t know what to expect. We were rushed to the ward. Already, nothing had gone the way I wanted, or the way it had been talked about at National Childbirth Trust (NCT) classes. Eventually, I was given gas and air to ease the pain. But only for about 20 minutes. Apparently it was “distracting” me too much and I needed to push.
Two hours later there was still no baby and I was in agony. A doctor arrived, took a brief look and said cheerily, “You’re going to be fine. You’re going to get that baby out.” And then he left. My maternity notes state, “PLAN: continue pushing.” I have no idea what this refers to — like so many of my notes. There was no plan. If there was, it wasn’t one I had agreed to. Finally, after another hour the decision was made that the doctor would use a ventouse — a suction cup that sits on your baby’s head — to help deliver my baby. Apparently I consented to this, but I have no recollection of doing so. And I’m ashamed to say I didn’t know what was being asked of me. My doctor didn’t use the word ventouse. He used “Kiwi”, which is a type of ventouse. At the time, I didn’t know what either were.
I remember screaming in pain and then my daughter finally being born. She was placed on my chest for less than a minute. I was examined, told I had a fourth-degree tear that must be repaired and that I needed to sign a consent form for surgery straight away. “Look at the state of her,” my usually mild-mannered husband said. “How can she possibly sign a form?” I couldn’t. The writing on that form is barely legible, but they would not proceed without it.
I had no idea what had happened. I lay in an operating theatre in pain, silent tears rolling down my face. I was frightened. The anaesthetist was amazing and stayed with me while I was repaired. I am so grateful for that, at least. But I also feel guilty about it. It was half past three on a Saturday morning and she was the only anaesthetist on duty at the London hospital. Other women may well not have received the pain relief they needed because of me. “Will I be able to have any more children?” I asked as I stared at the ceiling.
After surgery I was moved to the high dependency unit (HDU) and reunited with my daughter. I finally held and fed her for the first time. That morning is a blur. My notes tell me we stayed in the HDU for five hours before being moved to a ward. It was there that I attempted to understand what had happened to me. I was in pain, barely able to move and soaked in blood. I asked various midwives to explain what had gone on. They repeated that I’d had a fourth-degree tear, but I didn’t know what that meant. One line, in scribbled handwriting, stands out when I look at my notes: “We don’t have any written info about fourth-degree tears.”
Eventually, a midwife appeared with some information they’d printed off after googling it. As I read it, I sobbed. I was 35 years old and thought my life was over; that I would be incontinent. And still no doctor came to explain. The medic who’d delivered my daughter was eventually marched to my bedside more than 48 hours later.
I am perhaps unusual in that I’ve always wanted children. We had done what many middle-class suburban couples did at that time and attended NCT classes. The underlying message of these was: try to avoid a caesarean section at all costs. “Natural” births were best, and even better just to breathe through it. No need for pain relief. I remember in our penultimate class bringing up the subject of tearing during labour. I had seen a TV feature on it that week and it struck me as important. “If most of us are going to tear to some degree, it would be really helpful to talk about that,” I remember saying. “It would be good to know how best to care for ourselves afterwards, that kind of thing.” The answer was no, there was no need. Instead, we proceeded to get on all fours and “moo” like cows and then practise putting nappies on a doll.
Up to nine in ten first-time mothers who have a vaginal birth will experience some sort of tear. The least invasive kind involves only the skin from the vagina and the perineum — the area between a woman’s vagina and anus. These tears usually heal quickly and without any treatment. Second-degree tears involve the muscle of the perineum and require stitches. Third and fourth-degree tears are the most serious. These involve not just tearing of the skin and muscle of the perineum but the muscle of the anus. In fourth-degree tears, the injury can extend into the lining of the bowel. These deeper tears need proper surgical repair under anaesthetic.
I don’t really have any happy memories of the first few days or weeks after we left the hospital. I was completely in love with my baby, but I felt shellshocked. I couldn’t process what had happened and there was no one who offered to help me. A different midwife was sent to our house every couple of days to weigh our daughter. I had no milk the first few days and she had lost a fair bit of weight. Even when my milk came in, I found breastfeeding painful and difficult, in large part because it hurt so much to sit down.
I cried quietly every day for several months. Often it would come completely out of nowhere. I’d be talking or watching television and I would just start to cry. Several midwives wrote in my notes in those early weeks the same phrase: “Mum is anxious.” I don’t think I was. I was traumatised. Several weeks later, I was told that I was “lucky” by the midwife examining my stitches. Apparently the doctors had done a “wonderful” job at repairing me and it looked “beautiful”. I now know that I was fortunate to be repaired properly and immediately after the birth. But the last thing I felt — then or now — was lucky.
After several months I desperately needed to have some control over my life again. I had never felt so helpless, lost and infantilised. But my overarching feeling was anger. I wrote to the chief executive and chair of the hospital to complain and was invited in for a debrief. The head of midwifery was lovely, apologised and followed through on her promise to try to prevent other women facing the appalling lack of communication I had. The hospital now has a specialist perineal health clinic too.
But the attitude of the consultant obstetrician whom I met with my husband floored us both. It was about six months after the birth, but I was still under the care of a consultant urogynaecologist. (I subsequently had two further operations: the first 14 months after giving birth to remove an undissolved stitch that was causing pain but hadn’t been spotted, and another six months after that.) My urogynaecologist had told me not even to consider giving birth vaginally again. The risk was too great, he explained. If I tore again, there was a 30 per cent chance I couldn’t be repaired and I’d be incontinent. The obstetrician said the opposite — don’t rule it out! I saw red. “How dare you,” I growled. I remember saying that he would never be so cavalier about a man’s body.
Every year, about 25,000 women who give birth — approximately 4 per cent — are so distressed that they meet the diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder. That makes birth one of the biggest causes of PTSD in the UK according to the Birth Trauma Association charity – probably coming second only to sexual abuse and rape. Hundreds of thousands more women are traumatised. This is a major health crisis. And yet it is barely discussed.
“Birth trauma is a broad term, but generally it’s overwhelming distress that leads to a detrimental impact on well-being,” explains Susan Ayers, professor of maternal and child health at City University in London. Estimates “range massively”, she says, but having conducted research into birth trauma for almost 30 years, Ayers puts it at about a third. “If you ask women whether they thought they or their baby was going to die or be severely injured, then it’s around 19-20 [per cent] in the UK. But if people just ask women, ‘Was your birth traumatic?’ some of those estimates are up to 50 per cent.”
“I’M BEATRICE’S MUM,” EMILY SAID, introducing herself to a committee of MPs in March. “Beatrice died during labour at full term in May 2022.” Emily is one of a number of brave women who have shared their traumatic birth stories with the all-party parliamentary group (APPG) on birth trauma, during the first parliamentary inquiry into this issue.
��As soon as my labour started,” Emily explained, “I knew it wasn’t right, wasn’t normal.” The details are harrowing: a series of obvious but missed red flags and an attitude from medical professionals that can only be described as cruel. The midwife who shrugged her shoulders when Emily’s waters were meconium-stained; the consultant obstetrician who laughed at the “slimy” feel of that meconium while her hand was still inside Emily.
“The ultrasound scanning machine was brought in and showed that Beatrice’s heartbeat had stopped,” she explained. “At that point I begged, pleaded like I’ve never pleaded for anything in my life for a caesarean, and that consultant obstetrician refused. She said no. And she left.”
“It’s destroyed my life,” Emily says now. “I’m not the person I was before.”
This inquiry has been led by the APPG’s co-chairs, the Conservative MP Theo Clarke and Labour’s Rosie Duffield. They received more than 1,200 written submissions after asking women to share their experiences; that number doubles if you count the letters and emails they’ve been sent informally.
“The thing that’s really struck me is there seems to be a taboo around talking about the risk of childbirth,” Clarke tells me when I sit down with both women in Westminster. There shouldn’t be, she adds. “Something we’ve heard from a number of the mothers coming to speak to us is that there’s such a focus on the baby post-delivery, they almost forget there’s a second patient in the room, and that’s the mother.”
“I was constantly told by GPs that I had nothing wrong with me,” one mother, Sarah, told the MPs. She experienced a major tear that doctors and midwives failed to diagnose. “I was discharged two days later with [an] untreated tear, which very quickly led to enormous amounts of pain, incontinence, faecal incontinence and thinking I was going mad.”
“It’s very painful,” explained Jenny, who also experienced a serious tear that was left untreated, “but the long-term consequences of an unrepaired tear are that I had to give up my job. I’ve suffered PTSD, anxiety, depression. My activities are restricted. My life is impacted in that I have to meticulously plan my day around toilets.”
Another mother, Neera, lost three litres of blood and required more than ten hours of life-saving emergency surgery the day her daughter was born. The haemorrhage had not been picked up by staff. She said she is fortunate to have had the “means and support” to access mental healthcare over four and a half years of her five-year-old’s life. “I have personally spent over £6,000 and received more than 50 hours of mental health support,” she told parliament.
The women who have spoken to politicians as part of the inquiry had different medical experiences. But there were obvious similarities. Their concerns and their pain were dismissed. They were not treated with respect or, in some cases, like human beings. They felt helpless, angry and scared. “Nobody really cares about women,” says Kim Thomas, CEO of the Birth Trauma Association. “What we tend to find with most of these stories is there’s failure after failure after failure. Lots of things go physically wrong… and that continues afterwards in the postnatal period with really poor care.” Almost all women seeking out the charity say their experience was made much worse by the way they were treated during labour. “The number of stories we hear of women being shouted at by midwives or laughed at by midwives is quite extraordinary.”
Birth doesn’t have to be this way. And it isn’t for many women. But women, in England in particular, could — and should — be having better experiences than they are.
Let’s start with serious tears. The number one risk factor is being a first-time mum. There’s nothing much that can be done about that. But the next is having an instrumental vaginal delivery — and in particular one that uses forceps. “Data indicates that we use more forceps than other parts of Europe,” says Dr Ranee Thakar, president of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG). While rates in several European countries hover at around 0 per cent, a 2023 study of assisted births in 13 high-income countries found England used forceps in a higher proportion of births — about 11 per cent — than any other.
There are cases where forceps must be used. When babies are premature, suction would cause too much damage to the head. But that’s doesn’t explain the discrepancy. “It’s education,” Thakar explains. “We should be trained to do both [forceps and ventouse], so that we provide the best care to women and use the right instrument for the right baby and the right mother.”
The risk of a severe tear when forceps are used is at least twice as high as with ventouse: 8-12 per cent compared with 4 per cent. Women should be told this. The recent parliamentary inquiry heard other suggestions that might explain why forceps use in England is so high. The consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician Dr Nitish Raut explained that when poor outcomes of childbirth become part of litigation, the question, “Why were forceps not applied earlier?” will be asked. Although they can cause injury to mothers, forceps are the most effective instrument for getting a baby out. If a doctor tries and fails to deliver a baby with the less invasive ventouse first, a record will be made at the hospital trust. It was suggested by others that this might also be pushing some doctors straight to forceps use even when they might not be necessary.
“Training is a really key part of everything here,” Posy Bidwell, deputy head of midwifery at South Warwickshire Foundation Trust, told MPs. “If we can train people, we can prevent these injuries happening. Many midwifery students wouldn’t know the impact that these injuries are having on women.”
Newly qualified midwives did not know enough about perineal damage, and yet they’re providing one-to-one care to women. Current training did not seem to see it as a priority: while several aspects of maternity care are mandatory each year, suturing and perineal protection are not.
Neither doctors nor midwives appear to be taught how to routinely examine women after they have given birth either. Where this was once part of mandatory medical training, doctors are no longer encouraged to do it, Raut explained.
England is short of as many as 2,500 midwives, the Royal College of Midwives (RCM) estimates, although people are wanting to train and join the profession. Donna Ockenden, who is reviewing maternity services at Nottingham and who previously did so at Shrewsbury and Telford Hospitals NHS Trust, cautions against being too optimistic, however. The focus needs to be on retention. “Two midwives don’t equal two midwives,” she told parliament, “of we are losing midwives with 20, 30, 35 years’ experience… and they’re then being replaced by a more junior workforce, who are not being supported in those early days of their career.”
In the past decade and a half, the UK has seen several NHS maternity scandals — in Morecambe Bay, Shrewsbury and Telford, and East Kent. In all these cases, some of the poor care provided to mothers and their babies was because of a push towards “normal” or “natural” birth and a desire to keep caesarean section rates low. The RCM ended its campaign for “normal births” in 2017, but its legacy persists. Some NHS trusts still talk about them today. A culture of cover-ups and a lack of care remains in others. Just last month, the Care Quality Commission found that staff at Great Western Hospital in Swindon had been downgrading third and fourth-degree tears, “which meant they were not investigated as thoroughly as they should” have been. The c-section target was only officially dropped in 2022. Does RCOG now accept that it was a mistake? “It’s difficult for me to say years later whether it was a mistake or not,” Thakar tells me. “I think there was a general trend at the time to put figures to caesarean section rates. But now we know that, we don’t do that.” It was now right that women were offered a choice; she insists she hasn’t seen an attitude against caesareans more recently.
Aside from any physical and psychological impact, traumatic births are costing the country billions. According to figures from NHS Resolution, the arm of the Department of Health and Social Care that handles litigation, 62 per cent of the total clinical negligence cost of harm in 2022-23 (£6.6 billion) related to maternity. Of the £2.6 billion spent on clinical negligence payments that year, £1.1 billion (41 per cent) related to maternity. (As the fact-checking service Full Fact explains, the cost of harm differs from the amount actually paid out in compensation: the former includes an estimate of claims expected in the future arising from incidents in that financial year.) The year before, maternity services accounted for 60 per cent of the total clinical negligence cost of harm (£13.6 billion). NHS England spends about £3 billion a year on maternity and neonatal services.
There is such a long way to go. The government is well behind on its long-term target of halving the rates of stillbirth and neonatal mortality by 2025; the death of mothers within 42 days of the end of pregnancy is at its highest rate in almost 20 years. And while only a handful of trusts have been subject to official investigations, there are signs that poor care is happening across the country. Only half of maternity units in England are rated good or outstanding; one in ten is inadequate. That is a damning indictment of the way so many women are cared for.
One crucial area of improvement does not cost money at all. It requires a shift in attitude to one where women are treated with respect, listened to and allowed to make informed decisions about their bodies and babies.
When I first heard of parliament’s inquiry into birth trauma, it was never my intention to share my experience. Doing so has been upsetting and uncomfortable. But as I sat listening to other women talk about how giving birth had affected them so profoundly, it felt dishonest to stay quiet. Difficult births are not something we should feel ashamed of — much as I know many women will have been, myself included.
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asile!Hazbin Hotel: feelings that Charlie's gang members experience on days of their first deaths (+ causes of death)
• Vega: Blessed, that's why she feels no pain (painful shock during torture)
• Alastor: sudden migraine-like attack (headshot)
• Angel Dust: withdrawal, body aches, falling out of reality, splitting of consciousness (phencyclidine)
• Niffty: sensation of suffocation, crunching of cervical vertebrae (strangulation)
• Husk: falls into deep sleep (weakening after an illness)
• Cherri Bomb: pain from burns, especially severe on right side with absent eye (explosion)
• Sir Pentious: spitting blood out of lungs (tuberculosis)
here some lore things 👉 sinners and their sufferings
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel rewrite#asileverse#vaggie#hazbin hotel vaggie#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#angel dust#hazbin hotel angel dust#niffty#hazbin hotel niffty#husk#hazbin hotel husk#cherri bomb#hazbin hotel cherri bomb#sir pentious#hazbin hotel sir pentious
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So when I wanted birth control pills I went to my local pharmacy and asked for them, I'm very lucky I have this option to autonomy over my body however it's important to note that birth control pills can have a lot of side effects that aren't properly investigated because of how underfunded reproductive health research is. Side effects of the contraceptive pill include (according to the patient information leaflet):
Serious: blood clots (in leg or foot ie DVT, in a lung ie PE, heart attack, stroke, mini stroke, clots in eye liver stomach or intestine, allergic reaction, breast cancer, cervical cancer, severe liver problems
Less serious: feeling sick, stomach ache, putting on weight, headaches, depressive mood or mood swings, sore breasts, being sick, fluid retention, migraine, loss of interest in sex, breast enlargement, skin rash, poor tolerance of contact lenses, weight loss, increase interest in sex, vaginal or breast discharge, bleeding and spotting between periods, chloasma, occurrence or deterioration of movement disorder chorea, crones disease or ulcerative colitis
In the UK if you want birth control you can go directly to some pharmacies and get it or you go to one GP appointment and get it even if you are under 16
Alternatively you might want an iud. iud insertions are painful women are told to just take an ibuprofen (which some research shows is less effective in women but again that hasn't been fully investigated) during insertion women have reported crying and passing out due to pain levels but it is still not advised that GPS use local anaesthetic during insertion. And again since there is no age restriction for contraception in the UK people under 16 also have to go through this. But that's considered totally acceptable.
What isn't acceptable according to the labour party, are puberty blockers which were obtained by first having a referral to a GP followed by appointments with a multidisciplinary team including a clinical psychologist, child psychotherapist, child and adolescent psychiatrist, family therapist and social worker over three to six months where their then mainly offered psychological treatment finally if your very lucky and also haven't already finished puberty by the time you get to this stage (because NHS waitlist are crazy) you might be sent to a hormone specialist where you might have been given puberty blockers which yes are indeed reversible (the onse that cause irreversible change are oestrogen and testosterone) you can read more about this topic here but this is no longer a possibility because puberty blockers are now considered too dangerous and why is this? What side effects could be worse than the ones caused by contraception that is also available to understand sixteens well apparently puberty blockers are oh so dangerous because they affect bone density. So AFAB people both adults and minors have to suffer from lots of side effects from birth control and no one ever once thought to try create a better version of the pill or they suffer large amounts of pain during iud insertion where again hardly anyone will get anaesthetic however puberty blockers are these terrible things because they may cause bone density issues if that were the case for contraceptives we'd be told to take some calcium and stop whining. Both contraceptives and puberty blockers perform essential functions that save lives and both deserve to be made as safe as possible but this is not about safety this is about hoping trans people will just disappear.
#long post#medical stuff#contraceptives#birth control#iud#puberty blockers#trans discrimination#trans healthcare#reproductive rights#reproductive health#keir starmer#uk trans#uk politics#labour#wes streeting#puberty blocker ban
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Explaining dysphagia
Dysphagia is simultaneously a symptom and a diagnosable condition. Most people think of it (if they think of it at all) as the choking on food disease but in reality it's much more complicated than that.
There are four categories of dysphagia: oropharyngeal, esophageal, esophagogastric, and paraesophageal
only two of those categories (oropharyngeal and esophageal) are commonly used and diagnosed so those are the main two I'll be talking about.
The diagnosis of dysphagia is a fairly complicated process involving a lot of radiological testing and things stuck up your nose and down your throat.
lost the source :(
source
the ICD 10 further divides dysphagia into unspecified, oral phase, oropharyngeal phase, pharyngeal phase, pharyngoesophageal phase, and other dysphagia which includes cervical dysphagia and neurogenic dysphagia
Oropharyngeal dysphagia
Oropharyngeal dysphagia occurs when someone has difficulty initiating a swallow. It's often accompanied by coughing, choking, feeling food stick in the throat, and nasal regurgitation. Other symptoms include frequent repetitive swallows, frequent throat clearing, a gargly voice after meals, hoarse voice, nasal speech and dysarthria, drooling, and recurrent pneumonia.
Oropharyngeal dysphagia is diagnosed with a modified barium swallow and/or a transnasal video endoscopy.
Some of the consequences of oropharyngeal dysphagia include aspiration pneumonia, upper respiratory infections, and weight loss. Common treatment includes rehabilitative swallowing exercises, botox, surgery, and/or a feeding tube.
Esophageal Dysphagia
Esophageal dysphagia is dysphagia where there is a problem with the passage of food or liquids through the esophagus between the upper and lower esophageal sphincter. Esophageal dysphagia is usually a result of abnormal motility in the esophagus or a physical obstruction to the esophagus. Symptoms of esophageal dysphagia vary depending on cause.
Motility: People with esophageal motility disorders will experience problems with swallowing both liquids and solids. Motility disorders consist of abnormal numbers of contractions in the esophagus, abnormal velocity of contractions, abnormal force of contractions, abnormal coordinated timing of contractions, or several of these simultaneously. People with esophageal motility disorders may also experience spasms or chest pain.
Obstruction: People with an esophageal obstruction will have more difficulty swallowing solids than liquids.
Some symptoms of both include pain when swallowing, the inability to swallow, sensation of food being stuck in your throat or chest, drooling, and regurgitation.
Esophageal dysphagia can be diagnosed with a barium swallow, upper endoscopy, esophageal manometry, and an endoFLIP.
Some common treatments for esophageal dysphagia include medication, esophageal dilation, surgery, stent placement, and/or a feeding tube.
Esophagogastric Dysphagia
Esophagogastric dysphagia occurs when there is a problem with material passing from the lower esophageal sphincter into the gastric fundus.
Paraesophageal Dysphagia
Paraesophageal dysphagia occurs when the esophagus is narrowed due to extrinsic compression.
The ICD 10 Classifications
Oral phase - difficulty moving food or liquid to the back of the throat
Oropharyngeal phase - difficulty initiating swallowing
Pharyngeal phase - difficulty swallowing when food or liquid is at the top of the throat
Pharyngoesophageal phase - unable to find information
Other dysphagia- cervical dysphagia (caused by problems with the cervical spine) or neurogenic dysphagia (caused by problems with the central or peripheral nervous system)
Sources
x x x
+ some others I definitely (/sarcasm) didn't lose the link to
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i got diagnosed with Cervical spondylotic radiculopathy today which is causing severe nerve pain in my neck but the annoying part is that it spreads down to my shoulder and right arm/hand which means i will be less able to draw :( it will take a few weeks to improve (maybe months idk) but hopefully get better (basically im hoping it wont get worse bc i really dont want to have to get surgery)
#maxmeows#guy who is in constant pain yippeee!#my ribs still hurt a lot btw and that started 9 months ago#this isnt even counting the EDS pain#ermmmmmmm#i may be losing it but fuck it we ball#life goes on i refuse to die yet#oh also i have scoliosis because i am cool like that
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When Prowl goes to mate with Unicron, he'd need to bond with the Unmaker. Somehow.
Unicron's metal tentacles would just wrap all around him, holding him tightly as he gets lowered to the center of the Earth, where the godspark is. Ans Prowl would be lowered all the way down, past the Unmaker's corona until he's completely engulfed in the dark spark energy.
Prowl could struggle and protest all he wants, but the moment those tentacles pry open his jacks and plug into him, it's game over. He just goes limp as his modesty panels open, blankly deepthroating his soon to be conjunx's appendages as it dribbles mind bending drugs down his intake. Body and mind both falling under the spell of arousal as he starts changing.
As his brain gets so very slowly and thoroughly reprogrammed, each electrical signal just wipes any attempt at conscious thought out of his cerebral circuitry. Smaller tentacles with needle tips would stab themselves into his lines, bleeding him out and simultaneously replacing his blood with the Unmaker's own.
There is a part inside him that's screaming in agony as he loses himself, but it gets smothered with each surge of pleasure as the new code just flows into his defenseless processor. That's when he starts reciprocating, suckling on that tentacle in his mouth. Larger tentacles penetrate his valve with no resistance, his cervical gate opening upon contact, welcoming all of his master's fluids into his warm forge.
As the tentacles slowly frag him, Prowl becomes more and more enthusiastic in his participation, perception of his past life becoming more and more warped. A slim tentacle comes up to his pressurised spike and coil around it, pumping it until he cums, then resuming almost immediately when he stops spasming, intent on milking all of his transfluid out. When his reserves are dry, a much, much thinner tentacle, not unlike the needle-tipped ones, inserts itself into his spike duct, filling his emptied fluid stores with more dark energon.
Brain almost completely fried from the series of intensifying overloads and ongoing stimulation, he's all but a slave to the Unmaker by that point. Every ounce of resistance and reluctance harbored when he came to Earth in Sentinel's stead erased from his thought processes with core-deep code edits.
He's audibly pleading by the time a pair of hollow-ended tentacles latch onto his exposed tits, draining his stores while more injectors penetrate his pouch linings, the pain barely even registering in the ocean of arousal. More tentacles would encircle the rest of his body, sneaking under his plating, twisting his limbs in their sockets, flooding his internals with more fluids.
Time becomes immaterial when locked into cycles of non-stop orgasms; if anything, he's likely spent cycles suspended in the Unmaker's sparkchamber as the dark god croons sweet praises into his head. His body doesn't get a single moment of reprieve, the tentacles ensure that every single drop of fluids in his frame is replaced with dark energon as they continue to violate him. Over time, Prowl's body gets altered to suit his master's tastes, mechanical limbs fucking the changes into his frame, carving out his new and improved form.
His hips are wider, waist denser, wings longer, tits fuller, legs stronger... processor so, so much faster. And when he's deemed sufficiently prepared, only then does Unicron command Prowl to open his chest, baring his virgin spark to the dark spark before him.
And when that corona opens, the barriers between their spark energies are no more. Like an ocean crashing into a bowl, Unicron's spark energy would flood into Prowl's microscopic ember in an instant, sending him into what feels like an eternity of pleasure as the bond takes. Unmade, and finally claimed in not just body and mind, but also in spark. Severed from Primus without the counterinfluence of the Matrix to buffer the connection. Thus, when Prowl dies, his spark would not return to the Allspark, and would instead become a part of the Unmaker's.
And so, when it is time for him to return to Cybertron, there is only one thing on his mind: his master's bidding, which is the downfall of Cybertronian society. The death of his dearest Brother's children at all cost. How fortunate for Unicron that there is no mech better situated than Prowl to orchestrate such a scheme. no? Sentinel really, really.shouldn't have shirked his duty at all.-🔌
Unicron bimbofied Prowl holy shit… Turned him into an irresistible doll that's going to tear Cybertron apart with his bare hands. and beautiful plump thighs,.
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Rereading Patches’ master list, I was reminded that his neck beneath his head is essentially just a cross-section and is completely exposed.
Fucking his bare throat is all well and good, but it’s got me curious. His spine is also in his neck, and has presumably been severed. Is his spinal cord exposed within his spine when his head is off?
Can I poke it?
When his head is fully removed and there's no magic to reanimate those sections in tandem with the faux head, you have access to a number of parts.
His throat, his esophagus, his spinal cord and cervical vertebrae, even some nerves and cartilage. While Patches will react to messing with his throat, he can't exactly suffocate if you choose to stuff something in his esophagus- But he will jerk on instinct.
Poking the spinal cord or cervical vertebrae will result in minor twtiching and shivering. It's neither painful nor extremely intense, as these are parts of him that have been exposed for quite some time, and therefore gained a sort of callous that a living being's freshly decapitated form wouldn't sport.
Patches will let you poke and prod around his exposed neck simply because he likes having your attention on him, and even if your intent is to try and rip his spine out, you're only going to succeed in getting him off some way or another. Try to lick it for some extra suspicious reactions out of the dullahan.
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Hi all, i need a bit of reassurance. I know none of you are professionals but, I've been having these strange attacks that are starting to scare me. This is what they're like:
Symptoms:
• Severe neck pain that radiates to the face and under the skull (right side only)
• Mild numbness on side of face/arm (right)
• Blurry vision in right eye only
• Sudden severe fatigue
• Mild disorientation and confusion
• Mild speech difficulty
• Moderate difficulty walking
Onset: Sudden - Duration: 30 mins to 1.5 hours
Frequency: Week of 5/26/24: 2 to 3 times (has occured prior to this)
Relevant conditions: Cervical radiculopathy, migraine headaches, connective tissue disorder
Relevant family history: Aneurysm (father, at 18), Stroke (paternal aunt, in 30s)
...Basically, I'm not crazy for wanting to get aneurysm/stroke/TIA ruled out, right? I should call my doc or insurance's nurse line? Even if it's a migraine, I shouldn't risk it given my family history? Last time it happened was yesterday and the pain was the worst it's been so far.
Also just need to write this out for my sanity cuz staring at this, my reasonable side says better safe than sorry. Ugh. I hate having been gaslit so much.
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