#setup chime account

[bartyism]

anything for you. theodore nott.

in a universe where voldemort won, you and theo risk everything.

reposted from my old account.

warnings: graphic death

pairing: theodore nott x ron weasley's twin sister!reader

“You can’t possibly love him, y/n. He’s a bloody Death Eater!” your brother had jeered at you. Hot tears ran down your face but you refused to wipe them. You wanted everyone in the room to see how deeply this was hurting you.

“I have never been more sure of something in my life. While you were gone – while everyone was gone – he was the only constant. He isn’t who you think he is.” The room broke out into a chorus of repulsed sounds. The Order of the Phoenix wasn’t much these days, the predominant members being the Weasley family. Harry Potter’s death loomed over everyone. Numerous other deaths piled on: those who died at the beginning of the war, but those who have died recently like your older brothers, Percy and George, and your father, Arthur.

“He thinks we’re scum! He would kill Hermione on the spot. How can you stand there and say this shit?” another brother had chimed in. Voices were starting to overlap the more trapped you felt.

“You’ve never given him or myself the chance to prove that’s not true! If you remember, Theo was the one who told me about everything Draco was doing back in school. He has already given us so much information. He’s climbing the ranks, but he is doing it for us!” you fell to your knees, exhaustion and frustration getting the best of you. “Can’t you see that even if he’s not doing it for all of you, he’s putting his life on the line trying to help secure a world that I feel safe in? You know how my beliefs align!”

“Has he stopped killing innocent people? Does he still partake in Voldemort’s plans that don’t necessarily target us? If he’s climbing the ranks, I can’t begin to imagine what he’s doing to do so,” your mother inquired, shooting daggers at you. You couldn’t look her in the eyes.

“He’s doing what he can to survive, too. If he dies, we will lose so much.” Without missing a beat, you added, “If he dies, I am as good as dead.”

This conversation, over a year old, still rings in your head every time you meet Theo. Your current setup in an old warehouse allowed these thoughts to amplify. The only sounds keeping you from spiraling were the rhythmic tapping of Ron’s foot and Bill’s pacing. You never got to see Theo alone, but that wasn’t a horrible thing.

Though you wanted nothing more than to have one evening alone with him, as selfish as that sounds given the climate of the world right now, the positive came in the form of the people who joined you on these exchanges and started to see through the cracks in Theo’s character. This hardened soldier who bears the Dark Mark turns into someone else in your presence. He is more patient and gentle, as compared to the man that numerous members of the Order have seen slaughter people in cold-bold, just to laugh at their frozen-in-death facial expressions.

You had noticed changes in Theo throughout the last few times you’d seen him. He was much more focused on you than the information they were there to exchange. He’d almost become frantic – dark circles that got darker every time you saw him circled his eyes, and his face had become much more caved in. He was starting to look as though he were actively being tortured. He didn’t look better this time around.

You sprang up from your spot when you heard the metal door grind against the floor, opening quicker than anticipated. Ron and Bill quickly put their wands up and took aim at Theo, refusing to put them down even when you yelled, “It’s just him!” Theo didn’t respond much better, raising his wand and aiming at Bill, who you knew Theo saw as more of a threat than Ron.

“Are you being followed? What made you come in here like that?” Bill growled, eyes flickering between Theo and the entrance. Theo narrowed his eyes at the older man.

“You think I would lead them straight here if I was? If it was just you two, sure. But, I would never do that with her here. Consider yourself lucky,” Theo spit.

“That’s enough. Are you alright?” you stated, briskly walking to your lover. Up close, you noticed faint bruising around his neck, as if he’d been choked. Theo didn’t say anything and instead, kept his eyes locked on the two men standing behind you. “Theo,” you trailed off, putting one hand on his cheek. You searched his eyes for any type of response, but you couldn’t find one.

“You don’t have much time,” he said, only loud enough that Ron and Bill were barely able to hear. You took a slight step back, still close enough that you could hold his hand – the hand that he couldn’t even bring himself to grasp in return.

“What?”

“The Dark Lord knows there’s a mole in his closest circle. He knows you are not dead, despite me telling him you were,” Theo said, finally making eye contact with you. Your mouth fell open and you held his hand tighter.

Theo lost his will to fight at that exact moment, letting his hand holding his wand fall to his side. He pulled you into him and rested his forehead against yours. “He knows you’re the mole?” you whispered.

“Not yet, but I can’t imagine it taking much longer. His eyes are set on Berkshire – thinks he’s gotten scared now that his mother died. I was able to ward him off me for the time being. I told him that I wasn’t the one to kill you, I just saw you get hit with a nasty spell.”

“Come with us before it’s too late, Theo. How many times do I have to beg you? Turn your back on it all. We can keep you protected.” you pleaded, looking back at your brothers for reassurance. Bill shook his head before Ron chose to speak.

“He is not coming back with us. Do you know what kind of target that would place on us? It would be a death sentence,” he spit. “With that Dark Mark, I’m sure Voldemort could summon you back to him at any given second,” he added. You spun around to confront him but Theo was quicker – he grabbed you by the arm and pulled you into him.

“I wasn’t planning on it, Weasley,” Theo said with such spite behind his words that it made you want to cower away from him. He looked down at you, asking you a silent question. You bit your lip in thought, looking over at your brothers. 

“Could you guys give us a minute to ourselves? Just stand guard at the door.” With a few grumbles, you were able to convince them to leave. As soon as the door shut, you wrapped your arms around Theo as tight as you could, reassuring yourself that he was here with you and still alive. For how much longer he would be alive, no one was certain.

“You can leave them. Even if you don’t take refuge with us, you can escape,” you pleaded. Theo softly shook his head and pressed his lips to your forehead.

“No, y/n, I can’t. I’m bound to him until one of us dies. I…” he trailed off. You frantically started shaking your head at him and he sighed. “We knew this was going to happen.”

“You might have known. I held out hope,” you cried. Theo grabbed your chin gently, using the other hand to wipe away the stray tears. “Promise me you won’t die.”

“Y/n…”

“Promise me, Theo.” 

His response never came. Theo pulled you into him and kissed you so tenderly, that it was beyond out of character for him. You knew this was the end. He softly ran his hands down your sides, over your back, anywhere they could grasp. It felt as though he was trying to remember the exact shape of your body. He eventually tried to pull away, but in return, you softly bit his lip and pulled him back in. 

Theo couldn’t bring himself to let go of you. You were intoxicating in a way that no drug or drink could replicate. Not breaking the kiss, Theo hoisted you onto a table that was just behind you. Laying you down on it, he kept kissing you. Along your jaw, down your neck – Theo kissed you anywhere with an exposed bit of skin. You couldn’t stop yourself from crying, to which Theo then kissed away your tears. When he was finished, he pulled you up into a sitting position.

“Love, you are the only thing in this short existence of mine that I’ve ever been sure of. When I die, I can die happily because I knew you. I got to love you.” Theo whispered, his voice cracking as he professed to you. You leaned your forehead against him, looking him straight in the eye.

“Try to survive, Theo, please. For me,” you pleaded. Theo nodded briefly but was interrupted by a banging on the door. 

“Hurry up, it’s getting dark. We need to leave,” Bill’s voice called out. Bill and Ron both reappeared in the room, looking at the two of you expectantly.

“We need to leave, and you still haven’t given us what we came for,” Bill sighed. Theo tensed and pulled himself away from you, putting his facade back on as if it were a costume. Part of you wished he didn’t, just so they could see the real him.

“The Dark Lord plans to raid Hogsmeade, again. You need to make sure everyone is evacuated. He doesn’t plan on ever having to raid them again. In two days, if you don’t create a plan, everyone still living there will be dead.”

“And will you be one of the Death Eaters killing those people?” Ron inquired.

“If it means that it keeps me alive, and keeps a steady stream of information coming to you, yes. I have never been unclear with my intentions.” Theo said. He was significantly taller than Ron, forcing the redhead to look up at him as Theo walked closer to him, slowly.

“We don’t have time for this,” Bill said, getting visibly anxious. “We’re leaving,” Bill added, grabbing you and Ron both by the arm. 

Everything happened so fast after that – you reached out for Theo, but he backed away from you and you could’ve sworn you saw a tear run down his face. Just like that, you were whisked away, Bill choosing that moment to apparate. You didn’t get to say goodbye; you didn’t get to tell him you loved him for the last time.

Three days later, after their failed attempt at raiding Hogsmeade, you and your family watched in horror as Voldemort was broadcasting yet another round of executions. This wasn’t the first time this had happened – the first time being with his son, Mattheo, a boy you had known in school. You can’t recall the exact reason for his death, but it set a standard. If Voldemort would kill his child in such ways, what would he do to others?

You held your breath as the camera view panned down the small row of people awaiting their death. You felt the wind get knocked out of you when you caught sight of him.

The boy you loved was there, his eyes already dead. His appearance was, somehow, much worse than when you had last seen him. The bruising around his neck that had almost been healed was now back in full display, accompanied by bruises all over his face. He had blood dried around his mouth and nose, and his left eye was so swollen that it looked completely closed. Something told you that death was merciful compared to what he had been put through.

Voldemort rambled on about the first three men, killing them quickly. His smile never failed, especially when he turned to the last victim: Theo.

“Theodore Nott, what would your father say?” He teased. He pulled a wand out of the box that a servant of his carried at his side. Raising it, you recognized it to be Theo’s. Voldemort snapped it in half, causing a slight flinch to radiate off Theo.

“Stupidly fell in love with a dirty blood traitor, one of those Weasleys. He’s acted as an agent for them this entire time, but of course, I knew from early on. We’ve played a brilliant game of cat and mouse, haven’t we, Nott?” Voldemort, again, laughed. Every muscle in Theo’s body was tensed up and he never lifted his face to look at the crowd that had gathered or the cameras broadcasting the event.

Noticing Theo's aversion to looking at the crowd, Voldemort ran his fingers through Theo's hair before yanking it back, forcing him to look up. Theo grimaced but finally looked straight at the camera. His good eye bore through you, sending your heart straight to the bottom of your stomach.

You started sobbing, sliding off the couch and crawling towards the hologram showing the entire scene. “Please,” you gasped. Hermione sat behind you, pulling you into her, but you fought her off. 

“You were special to me,” Voldemort sighed and raised his wand. You grabbed whatever was closest to you – in this case, a plate someone had been eating off of earlier – and threw it through the hologram. The sound of your sobs and the plate exploding against the wall ricocheted around the hideout.

Another one of your older brothers, Charlie, moved Hermione aside and restrained you. Without doing so, you would’ve hurt yourself or someone else. “Get off me,” you repeatedly screamed, thrashing around on the ground.

Charlie was able to hold you in place on the ground, holding you facedown on the carpet with your arms pinned behind your back. To your horror, you turned your head to the side just in time to see a green light encase Theo in its grip. 

The cry you let out was movie-worthy. Using all of your strength, you burst out of Charlie’s grip and jumped up, turning on your surviving family members. “He died for us. He died for us and our cause. You never gave him a chance and never wanted to offer help in return,” you sobbed. Hermione came back to your side and held you in her arms. 

You didn’t fight back this time. You sat in her arms and sobbed. You couldn’t stop sobbing as you looked back at the hologram and it was panned to Theo’s dead body. It zoomed in on his face as if to hurt you even more. You watched as Voldemort whispered a simple charm, and flames consumed Theo’s body.

“I hope the Weasleys watching this enjoyed the show. While you watched this we have surrounded your hideout. Even Nott’s Occlumency he worked so hard on for you couldn’t keep me out. Perhaps it’s good that you never trusted him with your exact location, or else this would’ve happened long ago.” Voldemort smiled, and the hologram shut off. There was no noise in the room other than your silent sobs. 

Then, the first window exploded.

[axeeglitter]

Back from the Vault: LifeX

Nathan Brown sat hunched over his desk, the glow of his laptop screen illuminating his tired eyes. His San Francisco apartment was a mess: clothes strewn across the floor, empty takeout containers stacked on the kitchen counter, and a half-empty coffee mug perched precariously on the edge of his desk. Nathan's bed was unmade, a tangled heap of blankets and pillows. The room smelled faintly of stale air and sweat, the result of a broken air conditioning unit and a lack of motivation to clean.

Nathan was staring at his laptop screen, scrolling through yet another round of job listings. His bank account was dangerously low, and the anxiety of unpaid bills was gnawing at him. He was 26 years old, recently graduated with a degree in communications, and he was struggling to find any kind of work. His YouTube channel, where he reviewed video games and shared walkthroughs, was his only source of income, but the revenue it brought in was barely enough to buy groceries, let alone pay rent or bills.

Nathan was average in build, with a light tan from his Latino heritage, and short, dark hair that he usually kept neat. His face was lightly stubbled, a sign of his growing indifference to grooming as stress took over. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle into his bones. He was on the brink of giving up when a notification popped up on his screen, breaking his focus.

"Subject: Exciting Opportunity for Collaboration!"

Nathan hesitated, then clicked on the email. It was from a company called LifeX. He didn’t recognize the name, but curiosity got the better of him.

“Dear Nathan,

We’ve come across your YouTube channel and believe we could work well together. LifeX is launching a groundbreaking new game, and we are looking for individuals to help us with beta testing and promotion. Your content aligns perfectly with our vision, and we think this could be a great collaboration. If you accept, you’ll also be able to help us optimize the AI of our games by creating your own NPC character, it’ll be later implemented in the game when it’ll be released. Of course, we offer financial compensation for your work.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Best regards, The LifeX Team”

Nathan’s first instinct was skepticism. It sounded too good to be true, and he’d heard horror stories of scams and phishing attempts. But the desperation for money overrode his better judgment. He quickly searched for LifeX online, finding only a sparse website filled with vague marketing speak about “immersive experiences” and “cutting-edge technology.” There were no reviews, no user testimonials, nothing solid. This should have been a red flag, but Nathan was too desperate to care. He needed this. He needed a break.

Nathan decided to respond. He typed out a quick reply expressing his interest. Almost immediately, another email arrived, containing a download link, setup instructions, and a NDA requesting his personal information: name, age, location, and other details. Nathan filled out the form, barely thinking about the potential consequences. He selected the longest trial period possible: one month, hoping it would give him enough content for his channel and enough time to determine if the collaboration was worthwhile.

As soon as he submitted the form, a melodic chime sounded from his laptop, followed by a smooth, professional voice:

“Thank you for signing up, Nathan. To begin your experience, you will first create the NPC character, and then you’ll be ready to start your experience in the environment you’ll choose. For the trial to run successfully, please ensure that your computer remains on for the entire duration of the test period: one month. Any interruption may result in data loss or corruption. Welcome to LifeX.”

Nathan frowned at the last part but shrugged it off. He figured it was just standard legalese, probably meant for immersion. The screen changed to a character creation window, displaying a basic human figure in a T-pose. Nathan leaned forward, curiosity piqued, and started customizing the avatar.

He named the avatar “Cody,” envisioning him as the polar opposite of himself. Cody would be everything Nathan wasn’t: confident, athletic, and effortlessly cool. He adjusted the height to 6'4", pushed the muscle sliders to the maximum, giving Cody bulging biceps, a broad chest, and thick, powerful legs holding a perfectly muscled ass. From the corner of his eyes, Nathan spotted a slider on the groin area. He laughed as he understood he could also determine how big he could adjust Cody’s penis and balls. Smiling, he selected the largest option possible for his dick and added a huge heavy pair of balls to go with it, watching it grow in proportion to the rest of his body. He added bright hazel eyes, bushy eyebrows, and messy dark brown hairs that would contrast perfectly to the pale sun kissed skin.

After the body customization, Nathan saw a new window open: Clothes and accessories. After thinking about it, he chose a pair of denim shorts that ended mid-thigh, showing off Cody’s muscular legs. Nathan opted for no T-shirt, exposing Cody’s ripped torso and added a ripped sleeve shirt opened on his muscled hair pecs. He then moved on to accessories and decided to put a loop earring on his right ear and a silver chain around his neck.

After the customization was done, it was asked for Nathan to enter some information about the NPC he just created to create a base behavior for him. After a while, Nathan decided to go for the stereotypical fratbro behavior to go with the appearance he just did. He started typing, adding details about Cody’s lifestyle. He entered notes in the behavior interface: “Cody is dumb as a brick. He loves gym, training and being barefoot, feeling the ground under his calloused feet.” He laughed as he added another line: “Cody never takes showers, loves the smell of his own musk, enjoys sniffing his hairy armpits after a workout and scratching his big dick every couple of minutes after what he smells them and always smile enjoying his own musk.” Nathan chuckled, amused at the thought of creating such a ridiculous character. It was so far removed from his real life that it seemed like a fun NPC to talk and interact with. Just a dumb easy-going character that is always down for a fuck and a drink after a gym session barefoot in the woods.

Satisfied with his creation, he confirmed the settings. The game prompted him to select a location, and he chose the Secluded Forest Realm, envisioning Cody as a carefree physical trainer just out of college living in a cabin in the wilderness.

The screen went black for a moment, and the professional voice returned: “Now that your character is complete, it’s time to play! Please keep your computer running at all times to maintain synchronization. Any interruption may lead to data corruption. Enjoy your month-long experience, Nathan, and welcome to LifeX.” Nathan was really getting excited now. He conder what kind of character he would create for himself when he saw a flash of light on the screen. It looked like some kind of swirling mesh, almost like a blackhole. For a moment Nathan thought it was kind of a cool effect, but everything changed when he went to grab his half drink cup of coffee sitting next to him only to realize his right hand was tingling and tiny particles were escaping his nails, flying straight to his screen.

A sudden wave of fatigue hit Nathan, and the lights in his apartment flickered briefly. A sense of unease washed over him, making the hairs on his arms stand up. Before he could react, the tingling sensation spread from his fingertips up through his arms. He stared in disbelief as his fingers began to dissolve into streams of glowing white code, spreading quickly across his body. He tried to scream, but his voice caught in his throat. His vision blurred as the Life X logo was pulsing in bright light in the center of the screen with a loading bar under it going up further and further. The last thing he saw was the 100% before everything went black.

Nathan found himself suspended in a void. He was floating, naked, surrounded by darkness. Panic set in, his heart racing as he tried to move, but his body was frozen in a T-pose. The sensation was bizarre, as if he were trapped in a dream. He wanted to call out, but his voice was muffled, like shouting underwater. The smooth, professional voice returned, echoing through the void:

“Welcome to your new life, Nathan. Don’t panic; this process is normal and painless. In a few moments, you will begin your ideal life in the Secluded Forest Realm. Relax and feel calm. Avatar synchronization will begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…”

“What the fuck, where am I? What is going on? Why can’t I move?! HELP!!” thought Nathan as he tried to scream even though his face remained frozen.

Nathan’s body suddenly stiffened. A pressure built inside him, starting at his core and spreading outward. His bones stretched and cracked, lengthening to match Cody’s new height. His arms and legs grew longer, muscles bulging and expanding to fill out his new form. Nathan could feel his muscles tearing and healing at an accelerated rate, becoming stronger and more defined with each passing second.

His skin began to tighten, smoothing out imperfections and leaving with a perfectly smooth skin all around his muscled body. Nathan would be screaming if his voice mas not muted. Everything was burning and it was like feeling his DNA being rewritten while still being conscious. As he felt tears rising up his eyes, a new sensation invaded his newly modified skin. In his pits, legs and between his pecs, he felt like thousands of needles were piercing holes. The sensation was only multiplied as he started to feel hair sprouting from the holes. They were dark brown and thick but worst, the sensation of piercing needles started to appear around his groin too. Still wondering what was happening to him, Nathan tried to connect the elements he could find and that when he realized. The secluded forest, the muscles, the hair; that was Cody’s information, which means… Just enough time to understand what was happening to him when the hair started to sprout in abondance around his dick and nuts and climbing up his sculpted abs in a thin happy trail. After the hair, the modifications started to appear on his face. His jawline becoming sharper and more angular, his cheekbones more pronounced. His lips filled out, becoming more defined, while his eyebrows grew thicker, framing his eyes. His vision sharpened, colors becoming brighter and more vivid. His brown eyes shifted to a bright hazel as he lost vision for a moment. Everything was happening all at once and still, Nathan felt like it was an eternity of pain.

Nathan’s hair thickened, turning into soft, dark strands that fell casually over his forehead. His ears reshaped slightly to match his new head structure. A sensation of warmth spread through his throat as his vocal cords tightened, his voice box reshaping. When he tried to speak, his voice was deeper, richer, and carried a slight accent, a relaxed, Western drawl.

Nathan felt a growing warmth in his groin and realized what was about to happen now. All of a sudden, he regrated giving Cody such a big dick and heavy nuts. His cock thickened and lengthened, becoming larger than Nathan had ever been. He could feel the veins snaking down his growing dick as his cock head started to grow thicker and bigger. He could feel the cold air surrounding him as the head sneaked out of his foreskin. Wait, his foreskin? He didn’t remember going this far in details. His nuts fall down and grew thicker and full of potent cum as he could feel them going overload working on creating new manly sperm nonstop. Nathan could feel the horniness starting to rise as his body was assaulted by huge amount of testosterone. A drop of precum appeared at the tip of his cock as he could feel the weight of it between his legs, an odd sensation that both embarrassed and intrigued him. His buttocks tightened, becoming firm and lifted, while his thighs and calves thickened with muscle.

The transformation was almost complete when Nathan felt a sharp pain on his left pec. He wanted to scream, but his body was still frozen. The pain was like a branding iron pressing into his skin. “What is this?!” screamed Nathan in his new deep voice. A voice appeared from all around him “Dear user: NATHAN BROWN, as talked with you earlier on, you agreed to review and help us create the new generation of AI used for our NPCs. For that, your character, CODY, will have to be monitored. This assignation, XXIV, is the link to your identity and allow us to track your character. Please relax as your actions will be tracked and then saved. The program will make sure to copy all your movements, thoughts and everything that your character, CODY, might do to make sure to copy human mechanism that will be implemented in our NPCs later on. Thank you for your service.” When it subsided, a Roman numeral tattoo “XXIV” was there, bold and black, as if it had always been part of him. Nathan could feel the tattoo pulsing with energy, as if it was more than just ink on skin.

As his body finished transforming, clothes materialized around him. He now wore a sleeveless, open checkered flannel shirt and a short pair of denim shorts. Then he felt his ear being stabbed as the earing appeared in it and the coldness of the silver metal appeared around his neck. His feet then started to tingle as Nathan could feel the skin of his sole getting thicker and denser to better serve his barefoot lifestyle in the forest.

Nathan was terrified about what he just heard; his humanity was going to be used to program AI that will be implemented in NPCs. How is that even possible? Does that mean he was Cody now? And for a whole month? He didn’t agree to this. He had a life outside, friends, job to find, maybe some interviews if he was lucky. And about the bills? What was he going to do?

As all the questions were swirling in his head, Nathan fell the restriction holding his body in place as it was being modified lift. He could move on his own again, and the first thing he tried to do was take of his shirt or necklace. But every tug on the clothes or metal fell like he was trying to rip a part of him away. The clothes were part of him now. Nathan started to feel tears rise once again in his ears as all he could see around him were the infinite void of this artificial world. “Modification process terminated, Assimilation to the realm starting in 3,2,1…” Out of nowhere, the ground started to shake under Nathan’s barefoot. Then he saw light pierce through the ceiling. As a reflex, he put his hands to cover his bright hazel eyes but the light was way too bright. Nathan could see entire walls of darkness vanish and being obliterated by this bright light coming from above and fear started to raise in him. Nathan closed his eyes as all he could see was the infinite light engulfing the void and him with it. When he opened his eyes, Nathan was alone in a cabin in the woods, standing in front of a mirror. For the first time, he could see from the first person point of view what the body he created really looked like. Everything was looking so life like, even scent of pine and dirt were coming from the opened window next to him. He could smell the woods, feel the sun on his skin, the wood under his foots. Everything was lifelike. As Nathan sight started to look what his transformed body looked like, his head started to spin. Nathan grabbed it with his two manly hands but the pain was growing stronger. And in the blink of an eye, Nathan was no more. Cody stared at his reflection before smiling and flexing his biceps while smiling. His right hand lowered to get inside his shorts and scratch his hairy dick before putting his fingers under his nose to smell his musk. Cody laughed as he walked away, grabbing a snack on his way out to go exercise a bit in the nature.

“New NPC starting test phase. Remaining time 30 days, 23 hours 59 minutes 23 seconds. Behavior analysis… Acting following user NATHAN BROWN encoding. Tester assimilation… Assimilation stable, user will turn back when tests are over.”

______________________________________________________________ Hey guys! Here's another story back from the Vault, and it's my first ever published story: LifeX Hope you guys enjoy this new version of my story. Let me know what you think of it. As always, my asks are open and i'm always looking for new ideas and prompts from you. I try to answer them all and I love to read your ideas so please, don't be afraid to send anything you'd like me to write and I'll do my best to do it :) Take care of yourself! P.S. A follow up to this story should arrive soon ;)

[incorrectbatfam]

Batfam as made-up facts

Dick: The biggest biohazard in public swimming pools isn't the kid that peed in it, but rather the body oil from all the swimmers accumulating over time. Not only is oil not neutralized by pool chemicals such as chlorine, but it also floats to the surface and is the first thing you make contact with when you jump in the water. This is why a lot of public pools ask people to shower beforehand.

Jason: Making new memories is simply the process of our brains creating and reinforcing new neural connections. Traumatic or impactful events see denser myelination in the hippocampus (brain's memory center) and it's theorized that when we die and our "life flashes before our eyes," there's more activity in those denser regions leading to more vivid images of those moments.

Tim: Klondike's Equation is one of the lesser-known unsolved mysteries in math. It's a branch of calculus that takes Olivar's Laws of four-dimensional derivatives and creates a paradoxal equation by which the right half of it cannot be fully written if the left half is unsolved, but the left half needs values from the right in order to be computed.

Damian: The oldest interactive/roleplaying game dates back to the ancient Sumerians, according to records. It consisted of a theater of clay puppets that the audience would chime in with how they should act. It was often performed at bars or taverns during holidays with stories themed around mythical deities or fables.

Duke: In 1982, Bill Watterson brought to Archie Comics a standalone concept of a child hero and a sentient animal companion. However, he was rejected in favor of the up-and-coming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles story. After shopping around at companies and getting lots of rejections, Watterson finally found his big break with Andrews McMeel Publishing, cementing his place in comic history with the cult classic Calvin and Hobbes.

Cullen: The smallest readable book ever made is 12 nanometers long by 8 nanometers wide. It was engineered by four particle physics grad students at the University of Vienna and contains the first passage of the Bible across six microscopic pages.

Stephanie: Most aerosol cans use both oxygen and carbon dioxide as the aerosolizing agent, which is why you're told never to spray them near an open flame. However, for food (like whipped cream or spray cheese), nitrogen is used instead. This is to prevent perishable food from oxidizing and for preservation as nitrogen helps maintain a cooler inner temperature.

Cassandra: The most plausible explanation for the legendary chupacabra was proposed by a team of anthropologists in Oaxaca. Essentially, it combines the theories of mass hysteria with the existence of a similar creature that went extinct in early Mesoamerican history. As accounts of this now-extinct creature was passed down, the image of it was slowly distorted. The modern chupacabra legend likely arose in a period of mass hysteria during political and economical insecurity.

Barbara: Traditional computer programs can be broken down into a series of if-then commands by which a condition is given and the program must respond according to the parameters. However, machine learning algorithms use an expanded version of this, known colloquially as if-then-but-because-however. The "if-then" stipulates the parameters, the "but" is for modifiers, the "because" is for generating explanations (usually pulled from a database of other works unfortunately), and the "however" is for exceptions that may rise over the course of running the program.

Harper: Ambidextrous people actually struggle the most when it comes to the drums. Most drum setups and tabs (sheet music) are designed with right-handedness as a default. Left-handed people can simply flip it around it for themselves. However, ambidextrous players have been found to struggle with the asymmetry of the instrument. That's why, among professional rock drummers, only 6% are ambidextrous compared to the 18% of lefties and 76% of righties.

Carrie: Although it feels like our lungs are burning after holding our breath for a while, the sensation actually originates from our inflated diaphragm pressing against our lungs. Since there are more nerve endings around our lungs than our diaphragm, we interpret the feeling higher than where it actually occurs.

Kate: During the war of 1812, a group of nine Canadian men known as the False Damsels donned women's attire to act as spies against the Americans. Of the nine, four of them reportedly continued crossdressing after the war and one of them started going by Margaret a few months later and remained unmarried for 20 years until they moved to Portugal with an unknown courter.

Alfred: In 1757, the British government attempted to train livestock, such as cows and chickens, to spy on domestic threats (such as anti-monarchists). However, this project never took off due to a regional outbreak of avian flu combined with the takeoff of the Industrial Revolution and new inventions that rendered animal labor obsolete.

Selina: Coffees and wines contain a bitter compound called tannins, and the ability to taste them is genetically determined. Capsaicin can be seen analogously. Some people inherit a gene that allows them to detect capsaicin fully, so when they eat a pepper, all they get is the heat and little to no flavor. Conversely, others have a gene where the heat is "muted" and they can better distinguish the flavors between two spicy foods.

Bruce: There is a correlation between one's taste in food and expectation of others. According to a 2019 Harvard study, people who reported preferring more simultaneous flavors in their food were 26% harsher in an activity where they had to grade students' mock essays.

[theangryjikooker]

TAJ 🔍 Run BTS! • #7-10

Disclaimer Please note that this is for entertainment purposes only. What I comment on is purely observational, and there is no way for anyone to know the true nature of these dynamics and what motivates them without actually being a presence in their lives or a direct confidant(e). Any statement made that inadvertently comes across as "factual" should be understood as an implication within the boundaries of my perspective.

Introduction The first time I thought about doing this, my goal was to focus on the interactions and development of Jungkook and Jimin. This "miniseries," if you will, went through several iterations as I was watching Run BTS, and I decided to be a bit more inclusive about how the group behaves/interacts with one another with an emphasis on Jungkook and Jimin, when applicable. I believe doing it this way provides a better context and contrast.

Also, my observations won't really take their other content into account that was happening around the same time. I might say something that contradicts a Bangtan Bomb that was released roughly around the same time, for instance, so just be advised. Anyone is more than welcome to chime in with interesting tidbits from other content (if it's relevant).

If the episodes are short enough, or I don't feel like there's much going on, I'm going to fit several in a post.

Episode 7

I think it bears mentioning that when I first got into BTS and started watching Run, I started watching the later episodes. I initially skipped the earlier episodes because they weren't as long, and the setup was quite different as the series progressed. I watched it eventually, of course, but I was watching to be entertained and not really paying attention to anything.

But right now, as Taehyung and Jungkook display their elaborate and customized handshake, they're obviously close friends. I'd seen other interactions between them at this age, and they have a tendency to act more like same-age friends (which they still act like to this day). It's an interesting contrast against Jimin and Jungkook a lot of the time because you'd think the dynamics would be somewhat similar because Taehyung and Jimin are both two years older, but there is an obvious distinction between them that starts to arise the older they get.

Around the time that I was first watching this series, I always wanted the team that Jungkook was on to win. Part of my adoration for him was because he was so competitive (which I relate to) and excelled at a lot of physical activities. It's funny rewatching this with my current mindset where I don't have a vested interest in any singular person.

I mentioned this in the previous installment, but Yoongi really is an interesting character study. Watching him in action perfectly displays how unlike people generally perceive him.

Hoseok is so lovable and animated in everything he does. It's easy to see where he gets his nickname, and why he's always this source of optimism for the group. Fun fact that no one asked for, but it’s funny how I wasn't drawn to Hoseok immediately when I got into BTS because I am probably the most like him in real life: I'm extremely social and extroverted, my disposition is similar to his despite how I might come across online, etc. Anyway.

Red Team wins, as expected. Maknae line congratulates each other. Jikookers know this is the special episodic arc where Jimin allows Jungkook to do whatever he wants to him (see E10), and he seems to have all the patience in the world for him. It's easy to want to celebrate this if you have no real context to any of the other dynamics, but keep in mind that Yoongi is actually the same way with Jungkook. As a Jikooker, I don't put too much stock into this particular interaction, but it's cute to watch nonetheless. The difference between Jungkook’s method of attack with the other members vs. Jimin is that he was essentially pestering Jimin to get a rise out of him, which obviously went nowhere. It’s hard to say if Jimin would’ve been as receptive if it were anyone else and if he would’ve retaliated, or if his demeanor was specific to Jungkook. If anything, it does cement a certain baseline/tone to how Jimin receives Jungkook's behavior.

Episode 8

Jin and Jungkook unequivocally display the most brotherly antics of the group (which extends beyond the series). It's not really limited to their actions, but it's also in the way they respond to one another. In a lot of these games, Jungkook has a very cutthroat style of play if it means he gets a leg up on everyone. It's easy to see why, later on, his behavior is seen as significant when he's more lenient where Jimin is involved when he usually isn't or has no reason to be.

Taehyung is cute. He wants to goof around on the ATVs and is relying on his pact with Namjoon and Jimin that they'll share with him. It reminds me of the much later episode where he takes a break to play with a cat rather than to focus on his mission. It's easy to see why his behaviors will throw off the members at times because he does act according to his own whimsy. I think it's the most likable thing about him. I've always found him to be the quirkiest of the members, and I think it was a lot more apparent when he was younger. But I do think his offbeat personality is the catalyst for his creativity. It tends to be unanimous among the members that Jungkook is the most creative/talented, but I do think Taehyung's creativity is underrated. His interests and aesthetics in the present day is a consistent hallmark of who he always has been.

Naturally, Jungkook gets his comeuppance when he loses a flag that Yoongi picks up.

Anyone can say what they want about big corporations because it's not like they're without fault, but Big Hit/HYBE producing Run and Bon Voyage was one of the best things they did for BTS, in my opinion. The boys were free to interact with each other in the most comfortable and natural way, they were able to experience things that might not have been possible if they were backed by a major production company, and most importantly they were able to have fun. I'm sure it was difficult at times when their schedule was jam packed, but I do think their series gave them the opportunity to feel some semblance of normalcy–to just be boys, to act their age, to have this outlet.

Taehyung and Jimin really are an adorable pair. I have different thoughts about their dynamic as full-fledged adults and how that's changed, but I can definitely see why they got along extremely well as young adults and how they played off each other.

It's amusing how Jimin offers Jungkook a flag "because he's cute” and how Jimin engages with Taehyung. I don't believe this disparity is necessarily significant, but I would say that it's a little noteworthy how Jimin acquiesces easily over Jungkook because of appearance/behavior-based factors. Obviously, this is something that he does throughout his life, but this dynamic becomes more interesting as it benefits Jimin later when he starts to embody cuteness according to Jungkook. This will be interesting to see how this evolves later on, and I'll at least have an opportunity to see how that plays against the way the other members treat Jungkook as well (and vice versa).

Episode 9

It's only in snippets and based off of the editors' commentary, but I think this is one of many insights we're given as to how Jimin really does cherish the members and his experience in the group. All of them obviously value each other, but I do stand by my own belief that Jimin is a little more uniquely sensitive about it. And he's consistent about it too as he grows older, how sentimental he is about the members. This moment doesn't come close to the beautiful things he says and does for the others, but it's easy to get a smidge emotional when seeing how impacted Jimin is by the members. I think when you put into perspective his initial onboarding (and the uncertainty of it), to where he was when this episode happened, as well as the personal issues he’d struggle with in time, it paints a distilled picture of Jimin’s relationship to the group.

It’s moments like these that make it hard for me to be sympathetic or nice to anyone who talks badly about him.

Episode 10

Yoongi would prefer to starve and give the last piece of food to his members in a zombie apocalypse, no question. It's these little tidbits you get about the individual members that provides further depth and confirmation about why BTS were able to overcome major hurdles as trainees and post-debut. Yes, they're all very talented and worked hard, but I firmly believe that who they innately were as individuals was also significant to how well they would succeed as a group. I think I've talked about this before (but with more emphasis on Jin), but the hyung line were fundamentally responsible for how BTS could've turned out. That is to say, growing up in their enclosed environment makes the kind of role models you have vital, of which they were great ones.

Jungkook is revealed to be the spy in this arc (E7-10). I've already touched on what I think of Jimin being unaffected by Jungkook's behavior.

I'm on the fence as to whether this deserves any commentary because it's the kind of content that you could overlook, but at the same time it's a little like doing a double-take. In this interview with Jungkook, he follows this quote up with the fact that he got to bungee jump and that he enjoyed being a spy/hoping he gets another chance to be a spy in the future. He enjoyed the secret mission, but Jimin giving him a flag was not at all influential to his success or experience in this arc and yet he gives that moment a shoutout anyway. He is food motivated, however, which might be why he refers to that act of kindness. And yet Yoongi and Hoseok, who were at the bottom of the rung, got to reap the rewards of the dinner regardless, so was it really worth mentioning at all in the end? I suppose it’s what he's prioritizing that's amusing (?) because given what we know happened in this arc and who he is, clinching the win for the Red Team and actually succeeding in his mission overall would be the highlights of his experience to me (apart from bungee jumping).

––

I don't know if I really have to say this, but please keep in mind that I'm writing my observations during the time these events were happening. What I'm saying about Jikook in this series doesn't reflect how I feel about them today, but some of the things that I am saying are influential in my personal narrative for them.

Previous • Next

[govindhtech]

Learning AWS Cost Anomaly Detection Benefits And Use Cases

Root cause analysis and automated cost anomaly identification

AWS Cost Anomaly Detection

What is AWS Cost Anomaly Detection?

AWS Cost Anomaly Detection lessens cost surprises and improves management without stifling innovation. Using cutting-edge machine learning technology, AWS Cost Anomaly Detection finds unusual spending and its underlying causes so you can act promptly. Creating your own contextualized monitor only takes three easy steps, and you’ll be notified whenever any unusual spending is found. To lower the chance of unexpected bills, let builders construct and let AWS Cost Anomaly Detection keep an eye on your spending.

Use the AWS Cost Explorer API or the Cost Management Console to create AWS Cost Anomaly Detection to get started. After you configure your monitor and alert preferences, AWS will send you emails or use the Amazon Simple Notification Service (Amazon SNS) to send you individual alerts or a daily or weekly summary. Also, you can use AWS Cost Explorer to monitor and perform your own anomaly analysis.

Benefits

Easy setup

To assess spend anomalies for each AWS service separately, member accounts, cost allocation tags, or cost categories, follow this easy three-step setup.

Reduce erroneous positives

Investigate further to reduce false positives by better understanding your cost drivers based on seasonally aware trends (e.g. weekly).

Particular anomaly thresholds

Receive notifications and set your own unique anomaly thresholds, either individually or on a weekly or daily basis.

Show the daily cost trends

Easily view daily expense trends in AWS expense Explorer, with the most important costs automatically filtered out.

Use cases

Minimize unexpected expenses

Keep yourself updated on spend irregularities by receiving automated detection alerts at your preferred frequency by email or Amazon SNS topic. You can use Amazon SNS topics to facilitate teamwork and prompt alert resolution by sending notifications to your Amazon Chime chat room or Slack channel.

Construct an alert subscription

You can select your preferred alerting method after creating your cost monitor by establishing a monetary barrier (for example, only alerting on anomalies with an impact of more than $1,000). Defining an anomaly (such as a percentage or dollar rise) is not necessary because Anomaly Detection does it for you and adapts over time.

Get alerts

After creating expense monitors and alert subscriptions, you’re ready to go! Within 24 hours, abnormality Detection will start to function, and you will receive notifications whenever any abnormality reaches your alert level. The actions, including anomalies found below your alert level, can be tracked by going to your Anomaly Detection dashboard.

Identifying anomalous expenditures using AWS Cost Anomaly Detection

Using machine learning models, the AWS Cost Anomaly Detection function finds and warns you about unusual spending trends in your installed AWS services.

AWS Cost Anomaly Detection offers the following advantages:

Either an email or an Amazon SNS subject will send you alerts separately in aggregated reports.

For Amazon SNS topics, set up an AWS Chatbot that associates the topic with either an Amazon Chime chat room or a Slack channel. See Getting anomaly alerts in Slack and Amazon Chime for additional details.

In order to reduce false positive alarms, you can assess your spending habits using machine learning techniques. You can assess seasonality and natural growth, for instance, on a weekly or monthly basis.

The AWS account, service, region, or usage type that is causing the cost increase are some examples of the underlying cause of the anomaly that you can look into.

How you assess your expenses is up to you. You can decide if you want to examine individual member accounts, cost allocation tags, or cost categories, or all of your AWS services.

After processing your billing data, AWS Cost Anomaly Detection checks your net unblended cost data (net costs after all applicable discounts are determined) for anomalies about three times a day. There may be a small delay in alerts reaching you. The Cost Explorer data used for Cost Anomaly Detection can be delayed by up to 24 hours. Because of this, identifying an abnormality after a usage can take up to 24 hours. It may take a full day to start identifying new irregularities if you create a new monitor. Before anomalies for a new service subscription may be identified, ten days of past service usage data are required.

Is AWS Cost Anomaly Detection free?

Amazon offers a free service called AWS Cost Anomaly Detection that tracks your spending habits in order to identify unusual spending and offer root cause investigation. It assists clients in improving cost controls and reducing expense shocks.

Read more on Govindhtech.com

[yourashleylisa-blog]

Setup Alexa Drop-In on Echo Device

Amazon Alexa provides a cool feature: Drop-in. You need to get the instant call to another Alexa Echo dot device with this feature.

It enables you to use your Echo device as a two-way intercom. 

Why Use Alexa Drop-In For Making Calls?

Drop-in allows you to call an Echo speaker for interaction. 

Enabling the drop-in feature makes it easy to drop a message on different Echo devices with a single command.

You can get a sense of what is happening around another Echo device.

Echo devices with cameras can hold free video chats. 

As a safety concern, only the devices allowed to use this privilege can drop in on you.

What is Alexa Drop-In Feature?

Drop-in allows you to make direct contact with an Alexa contact. Unlike a phone call, it does not give you an option to reject the call. Your Alexa device will automatically connect to another Echo device.

 Dropping in on Alexa can save your effort in your home if you wish to transmit a single command for everyone.

While getting a drop-in on the Echo device, it will turn the light ring green. It means a green ring around Alexa indicates a drop-in on your device.

Any voice within the range of the Echo device can be heard by the Echo device sending a drop-in.

Alexa Set up for Drop-in:

You must register for the Alexa Calling and Messaging account to use the drop-in feature.

Follow the steps for Using Alexa Drop-in:

In the Alexa app Settings menu, you can open.

Here you will see the "Devices" option (icon on the bottom right corner of the screen).

After choosing the devices, tap on the General tab.

Under the General tab, tap on Communications (icon with a speech bubble).

Enter your contact number to get a verification message.

Fill in the other details asked.

Besides, you will have to grant permission to access your contact list.

There is no need to enter any contact by yourself. Alexa will use the contact list on your phone for calling and messaging.

Because only after having access to your contacts Alexa approves the permission for drop-in. 

Mandatory for Enter the verification code.

Signing up for Alexa Setup Calling and Messaging enables you to use Drop In by default. If you need to activate the feature for specific speakers and contacts, you can. 

How to Select the Drop-in Option?

Under the Communications tab, you can see a drop-in icon.

 Select the device name and the option for drop-in.

You can restrict the drop-in facility to your home. Otherwise, you can allow your friends or anyone on your contact list to drop in on you. If you select My Household, it will limit the drop-in feature within your home.

At the bottom of a contact card in the Alexa app, you can toggle on/off the drop-in feature. To give drop-in access to other contacts, repeat the process.

But you can contact an Echo device using Alexa Drop-In only if the other device has permitted accessing it through the Drop-in.

It implies that they must have downloaded the Alexa app and signed up for Alexa Calling and Messaging option. Then allow access to use the drop-in.

 How Do I Use Alexa Drop-In?

You can direct Alexa to drop in on someone with the voice command:

“Alexa, Drop in on  as your name of the contact list.

When using the Drop-in command within your household, you must assign names to your Echo devices. Doing so will make the process of drop-in easier.

  What Happens During Drop-In? 

Read below for the whole procedure:

When someone drops in from your contact list, Echo alerts you with a ringing sound. This ring lasts about 2-3 minutes. 

You cannot disable this ringing but can turn down the volume of the Alexa device.

In addition, the device begins flashing green lights. 

A final chime on the Alexa device indicates that the call is over.

 You can not disable the green ring on Alexa. But if you do not want any interruption due to a drop-in, you can disable the feature in Settings.

Other than disabling it in settings, you can select the "Do not disturb" option in the Alexa app.

While you are sleeping or do not want Alexa to disturb you for drop-ins, you can activate the DND Service.

You can do so with a voice command. 

For enabling the DND mode, say, “Alexa, do not disturb.”

To disable the DND mode and enable the drop-in feature, say, “Alexa, turn off Do Not Disturb.”

 Conclusion:

 Drop-ins do not require you to pick up the phone, but the caller can listen to you and those around you.

But if you are concerned about eavesdropping, do not worry about it. Amazon Alexa lets you know about drop-in with a ring and a flashing green light.

All the necessary information regarding Alexa drop-in is in this article. However, if you have doubts about Alexa drop-in or Alexa Set up for Drop-in, contact the experts without hesitation.

[gocashapplication]

How to Set-up Chime Direct Deposit

Set-up direct deposit to your Chime account and get the advantages of the chime app. Also want to understand how long Chime direct deposit takes.

You must establish a direct deposit together with your employer to fund your Chime account. Wondering the way to find out Chime’s direct deposit? We’ll offer you a step-by-step guide. 

1. Obtain an immediate deposit form from the employer to enable direct deposit

You can find out a stamped deposit by requesting a stamp deposit form from your employer. The direct deposit form may be a document that authorizes your employer to send money to your checking account employing a routing number and a checking account number.

2. Provide your personal checking account information

To complete the Chime direct deposit form, you want to add information such as:

The name and address of your checking account

Bank account number

Route number

Type of account (checking or savings)

Name (s) of the account holder

You can find most of this information on voided checks, your statement, or through your mobile checking account app.

Visit: Setup Chime Direct Deposit

[fartenthusiastwriter]

The Saga of Billy Boy Part 1 - The Meeting

I've had this story brewing in my head and decided to start writing it. It's a lot more than I thought it would be so there will be many, many parts. This one will only really feature farts, as it's doing a lot of setup. Hope you enjoy!

- - - - -

We first met at my job. I’m an accountant in a small town at a little branch of a large firm. The branch consisted of my boss, two associates. Though Brad Harrington, the other associate, was hardly ever at the office since he spent a lot of time on site with clients. I still appreciated the view the few days he was there; Brad was in his late 20s, and in great shape. He always filled out the arms off his button up shirts and ass of his slacks. Since he didn’t always know when he’d have to be at a client’s, Brad always dressed nice.

But it was usually just my boss and me. Anthony Romano, Tony for short, is the partner over our tiny branch. Tony is in his 40s and about 5’6, but he’s in pretty great shape himself. Tony focuses more on strength so he has a girthy build with an ass like a globe. I’d probably ogle at him more if it wasn’t for the fact he was an absolute asshole. Tony had the highest standards and I always had to work crazy hours to meet them. Tony had no problem communicating his disappointment either, and micromanaged constantly. If the money wasn’t great, I’d probably leave, but in a couple of years I’ll transfer to a larger branch and I won’t have to work for him anymore.

It was Tony that told me we were hiring an intern. Even he finally recognized I couldn’t complete all of the work that was needed. The plan was to hire a college senior and bring them on full time at the end of the year. With Tony having the hiring power, I figured it would be some douche-y jock that he hired. It’d be nice to have a girl or other gay guy around since working with two straight men hasn’t been the best, but that’s wishful thinking.

I was working on some tax returns when Tony knocked on the door to my office with the intern. The building is a bit bigger than was needed. The office had two wings, one with three small offices and one with two large offices. The three of us worked in the wing with the small offices since we all worked closely, and Brad hardly used his anyways. I saved my work and locked my computer. “Come on in!” I called out.

Tony opened the door and I got my first look at my new coworker. He was much older than expected, likely in his 40s. Tony hired even more on brand than I would’ve guessed was applying. The intern was much taller though, probably 6’5 but maybe even more. He had broad shoulders and everything was thick. His dark brown hair was long and wavy on his head but not quite long enough to touch his shoulders. He had a full beard to match that I would guess was about half an inch off his face. I was blown away as I realized just how hot this new intern was.

“Will! This is Frank Radford, our new intern!” Tony announced as he gestured to me to greet Frank.

“Hi Frank! I’m Will, one of the associates here.” I said as I grabbed Frank’s hand to shake it. He squeezed it hard with a firm shake. I hold in a gasp of relief, as I pull my hand away. I also couldn’t help but think that name sounded slightly familiar.

“Nice to meet you, Will.” Frank said in a deep voice with a smile. Frank had perfect teeth that shined in the light. “Now, I know what you’re thinking. This old man is an accounting senior in college? I get it. I used to be a high school football coach after playing in college, but the pay just wasn’t cutting it. I decided to go back to school here in town since my sister lives here and picked accounting since it’s the big bucks!” He gave a deep chuckle, which Tony quickly matched. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Tony may even be trying to appeal to Frank. That seems vastly out of character with the ego Tony has but Frank does have an undeniable aura to him that draws one in, seeking his approval.

“Everyone takes different paths, Frank.” Tony chimed in. “We’re just happy your path led you here and excited to have you on the team!” Tony gives Frank a strong pat on the back, causing an unexpected noise to give us all shocked faces. With the contact to the back, Frank let out a brief but loud fart. I blushed and looked away, trying not to give anything away. Tony quickly pulled his hand back and started stammering on his words. “Sorry about that Frank; it happens to all of us”

“It’s okay, Tony. You don’t have to pretend.” Frank said shyly, putting a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Will deserves to know the truth; there’s not really any point in trying to hide it. I have a medical condition that gives me a ton of gas after meals. I can hardly do anything to hold it in, but it’s usually only a couple of hours. I thought I’d be in the clear since lunch was hours ago, but I guess it’s not quite done… I’m sorry for any discomfort it may bring.”

“Nonsense!” Tony said, trying to shift the mood. “Our firm doesn’t discriminate against anyone. No medical condition should keep you from doing work you’re fully capable of doing! We’ve set up a plan to accommodate this that I fully trust will allow for everyone to work at their best.”

I give a sigh of relief. Frank will likely work in the other wing, and I won’t have to be around him constantly farting. I can’t imagine how hard it would be for me to focus on work with gas filling the air. It’d be hard enough not wanting to stare at his sexy body; I couldn’t handle him blowing up the office on top of that.

“We will get Frank set up in the vacant wing,” Tony continued. “We considered moving Brad over there since he’s hardly ever here, but given Frank’s condition, he will need the extra space for more ventilation. That just leaves where you’ll work, Will.” I gulped, not having considered I might have had to move offices as well. “Since you’ll be training Frank and working closely with him post training, it only makes sense you be in that wing as well. The offices aren’t particularly close together, so you can work in Frank’s office with him for the first couple of months until his training is complete. The office has plenty of space for two people to work comfortably, so we’ve already set up the two workstations.”

The color drained from my face. My hopes were shortsighted and the results were even worse than I considered. I’d seen the offices, and while they are large enough to fit two desks, the area isn’t exactly spacious. I’ll constantly breathe in whatever fumes his ass makes each and every day. Though at this moment, my primary concern is concealing the boner that sprung up imagining my new work environment.

While others may hear this situation and retch at the thought, I drooled. I found nothing sexier than a manly brute ripping ass. And I couldn’t imagine a guy as perfect as Frank to do it. But my workload was constantly growing, no matter how much I got done. I couldn’t afford to be distracted by a boner all day. I quickly started to fear this new intern would hurt more than help.

I focus back into the conversation as Tony continues. “There’s not a lot of time left in the day, so feel free to move your stuff over to the new office and get to know each other until 5. I’ll see you boys in the morning!” And with that, Tony walked to his office, closing the door behind him and leaving me alone with the farting beast.

“Do you need any help getting your stuff together?” Frank asked, looking around my office.

“Thank you, but it’s okay. I don’t have a lot of stuff, so it shouldn’t take long. You should go ahead and start getting set up in the office and then we can work through getting your computer access set up.” Since we were such a small office, we had to run our own IT support, but we never really had any major issues.

“Okay, great! I’ll head that way.” Frank turned and started to leave my office. Out of the corner of my eye, it looked like he stopped for a moment but before I could turn to look, I heard a fart erupt from his ass and some chuckles from Tony in his office. Frank looked at me over his shoulder. “Oops, my bad!” Frank said with a wink. As he walked away, I realized this was the first time I got a look at his ass. It was round and perky. Frank didn’t really have hips but his ass jutted out from his back. I could lose my whole face between those cheeks. How was I ever gonna get any work done with that only a few feet from me? I was so enamored with his ass that I didn’t consider how bizarre it was that he winked after his fart.

- - - - -

Want to know what happens next? Check out part two here!

[roxas--munchkin]

Hi Fren ^-^.

Yeah I don't have a Spotify account muchless a dedicated Playlist to songs I've listened to on repeat, so here's my 10 most recent songs I've played on loop

1. Bones - Sail North (just dropped today/night and been listening to it for the past 5 hours)

2. Of Shadows and Nightmares - Radiarc (love the work they do, and just been vibing with the spookiness of it all :D )

3. [MusicBox] Lonely Universe - Aqu3ra (cover by relaxu, had that on repeat for about 3 hours today bc it was so pretty. I also found that one today too lol)

4. WHITE CASTLE || Tales of the SMP Animatic || Original Song - Halfy Draws (love the smooth animation, the haunting tones and references to Karl's timetravel shinanaganery from the Dream SMP, would highly recommend)

5. Maple Chimes -Wynncraft Soundtrack designer Textilated (absolutely gorgeous track for the upcoming Wynncraft expansion that's in production. 1000% fits the wynncraft theme)

6. In The Balance/ Nald'Thal Theme With Offical Lyrics | Final Fantasy XIV -hungrychad (stunning, absolutely stunning this song. I have never done the fight but i will always- Affectionately- blame an free company mate for showing me this. I haven't found a song like this in years and like so many other OST's it fits *perfectly* in ffxiv's themes and setups)

7. Through 10. All the songs that make up my Artistry Stream Playlist for my Artistry Streams on my YouTube channel. I have Pavlov'ed myself into going into a creative fest whenever I hear those songs now lol.

I dunno if anyone would be interested in this besides Seadragon ngl

rules: shuffle your “on repeat” playlist and post the first 10 tracks, then tag 10 people

thank you for the tag @backgroundagent3 :)))

1. San Francisco - The Mowgli’s

2. Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day

3. Stick Season - Noah Kahan

4. Catch Your Dream - Mouse Rat feat. Duke Silver)

5. All-American Bitch - Olivia Rodrigo

6. Ocean Man - Ween

7. Bubbly - Colbie Caillat

8. Accidentally In Love - Counting Crows

9. You’re So Damn Hot - OK Go

10. Enchanted Suite - Alan Menken

just found this in my drafts. did i seriously never post this? sorry

NO PRESSURE TAGGING

@wandas-apologist

@secondvarian

@lizarr7

@alyssmainwarning

@cosmicqvake

@daryfromthefuture

@gamora-borealis

@tremorsmackenzie

@sunshinebeetle24

@jennaortegaslegalwife

[gadgetrevive]

Is the NEW Surface Pro STRONGER than the iPad Pro?! - (It’s only fair...)My wallet is a tad mad at the moment, but it’s not my fault that so many new tablets are popping out of the woodwork. Luckily, this video is again sponsored by Chime, and you can get a $10 reward by opening a new Chime checking account, but more on that later.Microsoft has heard the bugle of Apple's M4 iPad and responded with a brand new Surface Pro computer in tablet form, which is powered by a 12-core Snapdragon X Elite. Everything sounds more futuristic with the letter X in it, except Twitter. At 13 inches, it's pretty comparable in size to the M4 iPad Pro, which, if you remember, did not bend horizontally but did kick the bucket when pressure was applied vertically. It's also a tad strange that Microsoft is just calling this the new Surface Pro without a number attached, even though this would technically be the Surface 11th edition. There’s still a little sweet built-in kickstand, putting the whole tablet at 9.3 millimeters thick. It feels very solid. For reference, the M4 iPad Pro was 5.1 millimeters thick, which is a pretty substantial difference.As we work our way through the Mohs scale of hardness, there’s also a substantial difference in the capabilities. The M4 iPad is running iPad OS, which is closer to a jumbo-sized iPhone than a computer, while the Surface Pro is running full-blown Windows. It’s kind of like comparing an Etch A Sketch to a gaming PC. Both tablets, however, do start scratching at a level 6 with deeper grooves at a level 7. The Surface Pro 11th edition is using Gorilla Glass 5, and that same glass is covering the front-facing video conferencing camera. The screen glass is notched for some rather large stereo speaker grills. There are only two though, one at the top and one at the bottom. For comparison, the M4 iPad Pro has four speakers.Surprisingly, the power button is from plastic, along with the volume rocker. But don’t you worry, the frame of the Surface Pro is aluminum, which we have all come to love and enjoy. Moving over to the bottom edge, we see a 65-watt knockoff wannabe MagSafe charging port. It’s doing everything possible in its power to not magnetically connect, which kind of defeats the whole purpose of it being magnetic in the first place. The other long side has a connection port for the keyboard and an empty slot to help guide it in and be secured, which technically isn’t even needed since the Surface keyboard can work from a distance and doesn’t need to be attached.The last short side of the Surface Pro has two USB-C ports for connecting external monitors and anything else that uses USB-C. The kickstand on this thing is a beast, made from a solid slab of metal with raised stamped edges that allow it to clamp very securely shut. It’s a mighty fine piece of engineering. There’s a series of vents all around that rear slab for what I assume is an internal cooling fan setup. Hopefully, we get a close look at that in a second. The tiny rear camera is 10 megapixels and covered with glass. Now while the rear vents around the back help keep the Surface Pro cool, something even more cool is having a bank that’s 100% mobile, online, and has no hidden fees or monthly minimums, like today’s sponsor Chime.com.The first step to taking control of your own finances is being able to see all of your accounts at a moment’s notice right at your fingertips, online, with the peace of mind knowing that you’ll never be blindsided by hidden fees. You can build your own credit and get instant transaction alerts with 24/7 live customer support with Chime. Their whole mission is to make that financial peace of mind a reality for everyone. And they do mean everyone. Millions of people already have access to 60,000 fee-free ATMs, and you could too, along with fee-free overdraft protection of up to 200 bucks with SpotMe. Brad the bobbing brontosaurus wants you to know that there’s a $10 reward waiting for you at Chime.com/JerryRig. All you gotta do is open a Chime checking account and activate a Chime Visa debit card.

Chime.com/JerryRig. Link is down in the description.Now, the Windows logo on the back does appear to be inlaid glossy plastic but will definitely not be falling out on its own. It is incredibly well secured at the back of the computer. And speaking of computers, I do want Apple to take a good hard long look at this nifty feature. A magnetically attached back door covering an easily swappable solid-state Gen 4 SSD. Beautiful. You can upgrade the long-term storage in about two minutes, or have multiple boot drives, and physically swap the operating systems at a moment’s notice. I’m sure if someone’s ambitious enough, they could technically turn the Surface 11 into a Hackintosh running the Mac OS and create the world’s most powerful iPad built by Microsoft. The only thing missing would be the tandem OLED. The Surface Pro in front of us does have a 120 Hz OLED made by Samsung, but it’s not a double-stacked panel with pixels two layers deep. It does, however, last for about 30 seconds under the flame test, which tells us that fire is indeed still hot.Now, the thinnest Apple product ever was actually surprisingly durable. It flexed a bit when played with horizontally, but thanks to Apple’s structural core, it stayed intact until bent in the upright vertical position and then snapped in half. Both the 11 and 13 inches behaved in a similar manner. It is, however, still fairly impressive that with only four more millimeters of thickness, the Microsoft Surface Pro 11th generation is nearly immovable. I credit the super thick kickstand and the Brontosaurus, but mostly the kickstand. Nothing moves when bent horizontally. And again, no flexing when bent in the vertical position either. At 900 grams, it does weigh nearly a quarter pound more than the iPad Pro. Americans understand weights better when converted to burger sizes, and I would assume that most of that weight is coming from the sheer girth of the internal structural components.Speaking of which, since we’re already here, let’s see what that Snapdragon XLE processor looks like on the inside. This won’t hurt a bit. Now I’m sure someone in the comments has already scribbled out that, hey, the iPad is a computer too, but it’s most definitely not. While the Surface Pro is running full-blown Windows, the iPad is running iPadOS, which yes, can run DaVinci and Photoshop and Lightroom. But most apps found on iPadOS are limited versions of what we find in Mac OS, which of course is an intentional move by Apple since they wouldn’t want to cannibalize the sales of their own computers by making a computer replacement. For example, final cut for the iPad costs 50 bucks and final cut for the Mac computer is 300. Buying one does not get you the other. They are two different feature sets and capabilities. One is heavily watered down, and I’ll let you guess which one that is.Honestly, I’m very surprised this guy’s still alive. The Surface Pro is a whole computer smashed into a tablet form factor. You can tell by the full-fledged laptop-grade cooling system inside, complete with fans and copper vapor chambers. And it’s a good thing I’m sitting down right now or I’d fall over from shock. There are QR codes inside that link directly to downloadable repair guides. I wish I had more than one thumbs up to give. Never have I ever seen a piece of tech that is this repair-friendly. And the frosting on top is that iFixit sells genuine Microsoft replacement parts for the Surface Pro, so parts are very easy to get.I’ll turn off the Surface Pro just to be safe. And we can unplug the largest Lego-style ribbon connector we’ve ever seen, which allows the screen to come free from the computer. The torque screws around the edge are clearly marked, and after about 18 of them are removed, along with the charging port ribbon and fan ribbon, the whole cooling system can lift up and away from the computer. The copper absorbs the heat from the processor and spits it out the side of the tablet with the circular turbo fan.

The Snapdragon XLe looks pretty cool, all shiny and reflective and stuff. It’s a shame that no one else gets to see it but you guys.It is weird, though, that the battery can only be unplugged after the cooling system is removed. Kind of a strange order of operations. But also I didn’t actually read the repair guide, so it is what it is. With nine more screws gone, the battery comes free from the tablet. No glue, no prying, no alcohol, no mess, no fire, and no explosions. Just some small white text that recommends replacement by experienced individuals. And I am most definitely experienced, so that includes me. It looks like there are four cells making 51.5 watt-hours. And again, more QR codes that take you to downloadable repair guides. Very impressive.The only thing more impressive than being repairable is if it actually works when I put it back together again. I don’t have any new thermal paste lying around, so I’ll just scrape the used thermal paste off a different CPU cooler since I’m all about that recycling lifestyle. And every component can get slapped back into place. With the battery, heat pipes, and turbo fan all locked in and secured, we can plug in the budget MagSafe and hit that power button. Success. I don’t know how Microsoft put a whole computer

[readinginthereadyroom]

let’s talk about 9-1-1 buddie headcanons:

- eddie gets rid of his truck. christopher is getting older and wants more independence so he gets something with better clearance. and I’ve decided that something is a dodge durango. eddie is actually really into it. can’t stop talking about the fold down seats and towing capabilities. buck teases him and calls it his soccer mom van. then immediately starts researching CP-friendly soccer leagues for chris.

- buck strikes me as a podcast kinda guy. I feel like a lot of his random facts probably start with information learned via podcast and then researched separately on google or wikipedia. 

- luddite eddie my beloved. but not like luddite luddite. eddie’s a millennial so I see him as okay with all the 20th century technology he grew up with and just not all the newfangled smart home/internet gaming stuff. 

- abuela gives eddie an old turntable and a box of records and he falls in love with it. likes to play spanish love songs while cleaning on the weekends.

- eddie breaks up with ana. he does it quietly and cordially a couple weeks after the sniper incident.

- buck and taylor date for a little while but never really take off. and it’s super important that it’s buck who makes the decision to break up. they both have very busy lives and different priorities. and taylor acknowledges she probably shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place. she just hated to see buck so broken and wanted to comfort him. they decide they are better as friends.

- bosko and eddie friendship rights! eddie actually apologizes to her and they become gym buddies. lena stops going to the junkyard fights and finds an MMA gym that she’ll take eddie to. during the pandemic they somehow find themselves doing socially distanced tai-chi in the park. they keep it up once the gyms reopen.

- side note: lena does in fact get a cat. he’s a huge floofy maine coon named sarge who absolutely adores eddie. rubs his head all over him and immediately worms his way into his lap when eddie visits. he hisses at buck tho and lena finds it endlessly hilarious.

- demisexual eddie! I like the idea of lena no-nonsense asking eddie if he’s ace one day and eddie just having an internal panic attack but not being able to figure out why. karen gently brings it up few months later and he’s just deny deny deny. then he overhears david telling michael that he gives off ace vibes and that’s the last straw. so eddie pulls a full buck and starts researching just to prove everyone wrong. except it’s like a lightbulb clicks on and yeah. maybe there’s something to this.

- eddie and karen have a book club every other week. usually novellas or a short story collection. queer theory and literary fiction. the occasional poetry book. at some point they invite david to join them. they also have a not-so-secret romance novel exchange because they are big saps.

- eddie is also a sucker for a really good cup of black coffee. has a favorite hole-in-the-wall cafe where he buys beans in bulk. buck calls it his diesel fuel drink and grimaces at the taste. he prefers simple oatmilk latte from the place near the station. and yet buck always seems to know what days eddie will be running late and rushing to work and has a cup from said hole-in-the-wall coffee waiting. despite it not being on buck’s route. 

- christopher loves buck’s loft. buck keeps a stash of toys and coloring books in his coffee table trunk for when he visits. chris sees the stairs as a fun challenge and will often ask to go up and sit on buck’s bed to watch the city. or sit on the patio while buck bbq’s dinner for the three of them. he thinks it’s the coolest house ever.

- buck actually rides his bike. it’s not just for show. especially after the pandemic hit. he likes to go out in the mornings. drives to a nearby trail on his days off and enjoys the scenery while the sun comes up. sometimes eddie and chris meet him there after his ride and they have a breakfast picnic.

- the diaz-buckley-han’s share one netflix account. it’s technically buck’s in that he pays for it, but when maddie moved to LA he set her up with her own profile. then logged into his account at eddie’s one day and never logged out. renamed the profile buck & eddie after he setup a kid’s profile specifically for chris. then after learning about maddie and chim’s not-dating buff-fridays, buck put both their names on her profile as a prank. and then it just stayed that way. jee-yun even has a profile despite being a literal infant that doesn’t watch tv. maddie cried when she saw it.

- buck takes the legal guardianship thing very seriously. he’s already really involved in essentially co-parenting chris but he starts getting really nervous about asking invasive questions about chris’ medical history. so eddie sits him down with chris and the three of them talk about it. eddie very specifically asks chris if he’s okay with sharing that kind of info with buck. because even tho christopher’s a kid eddie always wants him to have a say in his own health decisions. then he has a more in-depth convo with just buck about insurance and bills and doctor’s visits. makes sure buck has access to all of it. 

- chris played secret matchmaker. went to his old friend santa claus and asked if buck would stay forever. santa came thru, as always.

- also carla knows. buck starts spending more nights at the diaz house and one morning she lets herself in and sees buck coming out of eddie’s room in just a pair of sweatpants. she gives him a coy eyebrow raise and buck blushes. then she just laughs, pats his cheek affectionately, and says your secret’s safe with me buckaroo. when a bleary-eyed eddie wanders out a half hour later she pushes a cup of coffee into his hands, waits a few moments, looks eddie dead in the eyes, and points at buck. I see you took my advice. eddie chokes on his coffee.

- speaking of carla she is family. she and her husband are regular guests at the 118 get-togethers, holidays at the firehouse, and family meals. she occasionally takes on other clients, but she’s mostly exclusive to the diazes these days. esp as christopher gets older and wants more independence. she’s been around since he was 7 and he’s comfortable with her. she stays his home heath care aide until she retires. then she personally vets a new one. because not just anyone will do for her boy. they throw her a huge retirement party.

- gonna jump into the future because christopher absolutely names his daughter carla shannon buckley-diaz. there isn’t a dry eye in the house.

- and I don’t actually see chris calling buck pops or anything. he’s just his buck. tho I can see eddie asking christopher if he wants to hyphenate his last name when buck officially adopts him. buck’s his hero so chris is 100% onboard. 

- buck and eddie don’t have more kids. eddie never wanted more and buck is surrounded by the ever-expanding horde of firefam kids. they love their little trio.

- also eddie is hilariously terrible with other kids. he just. doesn’t know how to talk to them. he’s literally the best father ever with christopher, but any other kid and he’s all awkward hello small human. it’s also the reason the team sends buck to handle kid rescues. he knows how to speak to kids and they light up around his sunshine energy. but then there are certain kids who just glom onto eddie. usually the quiet ones. they find something about his calm dad presence very soothing so they just cling to him until buck can coax them around. 

- I do not see the buckley-diazes getting a pet. buck and eddie work long shifts and it’s not fair to put that kind of extra responsibility on carla when her job is to care for chris. however, as chris gets older he does get a mobility service dog to help with counterbalance. she’s a golden retriever named stella and she’s a very good girl. 

- buck proposes by accident. they’re at the park with christopher and marriage just sorta comes up during one of his infodumps. eddie is eating his sandwich, nodding along, and just casually says of course I want to marry you. buck stops talking. christopher giggles. eddie panics. but when he looks at buck he’s all puppy-eyed and hopeful. you do? eddie nods. chris chimes in with a stage whispered ask properly buck and say yes dad. so they do.

[sta-bright]

My First Tumble

Hi Tumblr,

I was inspired to get a Tumblr account, believe it or not, from Netflix's 2021 four-part docu-series "Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel." Although I highly doubt anyone cares enough to read any of my posts or has the attention span to read anything longer than a few sentences written by a 23 year old with her boobs out, *just in case,* SPOILER ALERT.

The (main) topic of the show focuses around Elisa Lam, who vanished in early 2013 when she was staying at the Cecil Hotel and was then found dead in one of the four water tanks on the roof 19 days after being reported missing (I think I have that correct but don't hold me to it, imaginary readers. It was something like that.).

Anyway, "...to make a long story short"... "too late" #cluereference, Elisa had a Tumblr blog. It seemed to be a good setup for how she was writing very personally, which is what I want to do, so here we go. I have a blog page for the business I own, but to be honest, it's geared more toward, well, business, so I don't feel like I can write freely, or only like the "good" or "normal" part of myself, the good stuff geared at an audience without scaring people away or whatever. So for this one, I don't really care as much about proper grammar or spelling, just somewhere to write my real thoughts if and when I can focus enough to sort them out enough to put them down. I have a bunch of journals, but they are all over the place and I can't write fast enough, so I'm going to try this out. I have a lot to say, and I think even just putting it out there even though I know no one cares might help me feel a little bit of relief, even if anyone does read it and might think I'm an idiot or whatever.

I wasn't sure what to name my blog, and I'm not sure if there's a way to change it in the future, but for now I have decided on "Sta-Bright." Most of my family and some of my close friends call me "Sta" and my partner David calls me Sta Bright, which I think is really cute and makes me happy, so here we are. I use the word partner because I think the word boyfriend is a little too young for us and our relationship warrants a higher level than that. ANYWAY, there is the background information for you, my new friend, Tumblr. I already feel better.

So, this show really pissed me off for a few (many) reasons. I've legitimately been pacing around all morning. First, even the title of the show is misleading. The death of Elisa Lam was not a "crime." It was a devastating incident of accidental death highly likely (as confidently confirmed by all professionals involved) related to a psychotic episode of her mental illness, Bipolar I, which I also happen to have. Netflix using the title "Crime Scene" to lure watchers in is disgusting within itself. Good for you, Netflix. Holla for the dollas! Make that money, baby.

Then, beyond the fact Netflix milked four episodes out of a glamorized case that was ruled an accidental death for this reason not even long after finding Elisa, it is the whole ordeal of the reality and dramatizing of this saga that is so sad.

Upon the release of the famous elevator footage the day she went missing, it went viral almost instantaneously.

*Hold please* I actually just read an article by BBC.com where director of the series, Joe Berlinger, says, "For the average viewer it's another compelling story you watch and then move on to the next. But for who this happened to, it's the worst moment in their life. It's a real tragedy for that person and that family." LOLOLOLOL OKAY JOE!!!! Is this why you spent FOUR EPISODES talking about bullshit theories to keep people hooked and open more discussion? You know that this is not out of respect. Shame on YOU!

"If you look at the other tellings of the story, you'd see she's the victim of some horrible, evil presence that took control of her.

"Those kinds of narratives, I think, are incredibly disrespectful and probably why the family just didn't want to deal with another show that was going to exaggerate the circumstances of the tragedy."

So is this why you made a show exaggerating the circumstances of the tragedy? Lol. "We need to talk about the ghost stories" Or do you need to talk about them to open a can of worms to more losers who fixate on the case? OR IS THAT JUST ME? I don't know. Lemme tell ya what. If anything ever happens to me, please make sure this Joe Schmuck doesn't make a pathetic docuseries about it.

Then, aside from the pathetic profit of Netflix, the actual details of what happened and how society and the "web sleuths" investigated, obsessed, and chimed in on this case is a whole other ballpark about society's minimization and lack of knowledge or respect for mental illness on its own.

THEN, there is a quote by Amy Price, the manager of the hotel during the incident, who is now profiting on a book she is writing about HER experience:

"I want to share my story," she says.

"But this isn't a horror story or anything like that. This is a story about struggle."

Okay, Amy. Whose fucking struggle are you writing about here? I legitimately don't know if she is referring to hers or Elisa's, but either way, it's gross.

It makes me so sad that this whole situation warranted MILLIONS of theories, millions of internet trolls writing articles about the "BIZARRE" death of this girl. This case is not fucking bizarre. It is unfortunate but it is not bizarre. This case was plastered all over internet lists with the titles "bizarre, unexplained cases of missing people." It's not unexplained, and it only was not for long.

These "web sleuths" were busy having a blast, going to the crime scene, smiling as they recorded, posting videos about their stupid theories. Trolls posting their dumb, far-fetched theories without knowing all of the facts, thinking they know better than the professionals, who DO have the findings, did do the labs, did do the investigations. And people still insist that THERE HAS TO BE MORE.

Of course, I don't know all the facts either. BUT, according to the actual professionals involved rather than the entire population of people who love a good "mystery," Elisa's toxicology results showed that her levels of the medications she was supposed to be on signified she had not been taking them as she should have been. They also found bottles of her medicine that had more pills than prescribed, also showing that she had not been taking them.

THEN, she was removed from the room she had been sharing with a few others due to "odd behavior" leaving weird post-its telling them to go away, or whatever. THEN, apparently going into the hotel lobby and screaming "I'm crazy!" or whatever it was.

Although all experiences with mental illnesses are unique, all of these details plus the footage, both detailing erratic behavior, leave no doubt in my mind that the professionals, SHOCKINGLY, CRAZILY, may be right! Who thunk it! I have legitimately acted in the ways described and shown in the video. I don't and couldn't understand HERS, but I understand MY paranoia, hallucinations, experiences I have had, and the actions that are presented, and I guarantee some would look very similar to that footage. Ask the few people who know me best what it's like when I'm not on my meds or fuck them up. I legitimately saw myself in her actions.

Yet, the internet losers had to fixate on a death metal artist who had stayed in the hotel for a few days A YEAR before any of this happened and legitimately ruined his life. His alibi was completely valid and he was dismissed by investigators. He was out of the country, he had tons of substantial paperwork and proof that he was, but that didn't matter.

Because no one takes bipolar disorder seriously, dismissing it as just mood swings, people being dramatic, seeking attention, being lazy, and everyone needs something more sensational, THIS wasn't even an option. They needed to fixate on crazy, fun conspiracy theories, watching the footage over and over and over again, sitting in their caves with their thumbs up their asses writing about their ballpark theories, internet bullying innocent people instead of doing any research on bipolar disorder, instead of defending or considering that it was a psychotic episode, which literally all of the official facts and footage present.

Clearly I'm not a professional either, but like... watch the show and you tell me. You tell me what you think is likely. You tell me what the professionals agree on. But before you make that call, try reading a little bit about bipolar disorder. Try reading about the psychotic episodes that can come with it. It probably won't change your mind, but oh well. It probably is just the hotel being haunted, ya know. Right? This is just my little rant that doesn't matter.

If you want to think it was a ghost, a demon, if it was a murder even though she literally had zero signs of any physical violence and there was zero evidence of it and all evidence the other way, you do that, boo. Have a blast. Hey, I 100% could be wrong, right? Absolutely. Who am I? Just a little dramatic, stupid, crazy nobody.

That's just my take, no better than any other internet trolls, I suppose. When all is said and done, in my little fantasy world, I guess people would just take bipolar disorder seriously and understand the severity of it. People would take it to consideration for the actions and words of those who have it. That's not fun, though. Everyone loves money, everyone loves a good story. Everyone loves making fun of people. Everyone loves a disability you can see. Everything I do is just me being an oddball. Everyone loves to be an internet bully.

I'm sorry for Elisa and her family who have had to deal with years of this. Years of people dismissing the severity of mental illness and obsessing over ghost stories, obsessing over the number of likes or views they get, money they make off of it.

Wow, that was a blast. I'm fairly confident no one will read this, but I feel a lot better that I put that out there. Again, I'm a little nobody, so nothing I say matters, but that's just my take on all of it. I've given up trying to convince anyone that I'm anything but weird, because I know no one will care or accept that. I'll just keep making people feel uncomfortable and keep looking like an idiot. Woe is me, am I right?

You have a blessed day now.

[hopelikethemoon]

today (Javier x Reader) [smut]

Title: today Length: 3,200 Warnings: Angst, rough sex (shower sex, biting, unprotected), lots of fluff, parenthood, blood.  Summary: Set a year after maybe, Javier and Reader come to terms with their relationship.  Notes: So I’m literally terrified that this drabble will not hold up to the glory of maybe and I almost didn’t publish this. BUT I AM CAUSE YOLO. Shoutout to @rzrcrst​ for providing me with the best possible name for the baby. 

The morning sun still managed to get through your opaque curtains, cutting harsh shadows across your bedroom as it shone brightly past the vinyl blinds. You nestled a little deeper into your pillow, trying to cling to those last few precious moments of sleep. Any second now your daughter would start crying — the new normal for your daily sunrises. 

Javier, however, seemed determined to find a new morning ritual. 

Now that you were awake, the possessive arm that he always kept wrapped around you had started to move downwards. Fingertips trailing over your stomach, tracing over the stretchmarks there, worshipping your soft flesh. You sighed softly as his hand moved lower beneath the waistband of your sleep shorts, slipping between your thighs. 

“Morning,” He whispered as he pressed his lips to your shoulder as he dragged his fingers between your folds. You had lost count of how many mornings he had tried, in vain, to initiate sex. You could feel his stiff cock straining through his boxers and pressing against the back of your thigh as he curled close behind you. 

You reached behind you, pushing your fingers through his hair as you parted your thighs for him. As much as you wanted him, you knew it wasn’t meant to be. Like clockwork your daughter would start crying — ruining any chance for waking up in your favorite fashion. 

Three. Two. One. 

Javier pressed his face into the crook of your neck and groaned, “Every damn morning.” He complained, pulling his hand out from between your thighs, releasing you so you could go to her. 

It had been months. You had still been pregnant the last time you had Javier between your thighs. You missed it — desperately — but there just wasn’t any time. 

No one at the DEA knew who the father was. You had both decided, early on, that it was for the best. Sure, some of the guys treated you like a two-bit whore when you said you didn’t know who the father was, but at least they weren’t trying to edge you out of the department because you were fucking your partner. 

By the time you emerged from the nursery with a freshly changed and fed baby, Javier was already showered and dressed, sitting at your kitchen table nursing a cup of black coffee. You gave him a sympathetic smile, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. “Maybe tonight?”

Javier pursed his lips and shook his head. “I got stuck on the stakeout.” He took a sip of his coffee, before sitting it further up on the table so he could take Josie from you. He held her up in the air, much to her enjoyment. She adored him, almost as much as he adored her. 

“I just fed her,” You warned him, running your hand over his shoulders before you headed towards the fridge to retrieve milk for your cereal. 

“I don’t know how people do it,” Javier remarked, glancing back over his shoulder at you. “I had friends back home in Texas who had kids stacked up.” 

You laughed as you moved to settle down beside him at the table.  “Yeah...I have no idea how people have Irish twins.” You made a face. “If she’s not screaming, we’re both too tired...” 

“I can’t believe I’m admitting this aloud, but I’m getting fucking tired of my own hand.” He complained, before showering his daughter with kisses as he bounced her on his lap. 

“Her first word is going to be fucking if you’re not careful,” You teased. “Which is ironic, all things considered.” 

Javier gave you a dirty look, though his lips still quirked upwards with amusement. “She’s going to be four months old in a week.” He reminded you. 

“I know.” You propped your chin up on your palm as you watched him with her. No one at the office knew what he was like within the safety of your apartment. “How late do you think it’ll be tonight?”

“Probably late enough that I’ll just go take a shower and head into the office.”

You nodded, scooping up some cereal then. “I figured.”

“You do still want—“

“Yes.” You answered before he could even finish the sentence. “I keep hoping one morning she won’t interrupt us.”

“Knowing us, we’d just worry about why she wasn’t crying.” Javier rolled his eyes, before talking in a teasing voice to her. “Little Miss Josie enjoys interrupting mommy and daddy. Don’t you?” He tickled her sides and she squealed and giggled. He glanced up at you, “You’re sure…?”

“Javi.” You laughed, your cheeks turning red. “Trust me, I miss it just as much as you do.” 

He smirked. “You’re driving me crazy, baby.” Javier snorted, glancing down at his daughter. “You too, Josie.” 

“Luckily it’s a short drive.” You taunted with a self-satisfied grin, finishing off the last of your cereal and holding your hands out for her. “Good luck tonight, in case we don’t get a moment alone at work.” 

Javier rose to his feet, settling his hand at your hip as he looked between you and Josie. “I’m gonna miss my girls tonight.” 

“We’re going to miss you too.” You tilted your chin, smiling up at him as he leaned down to kiss you. Josie squawked over not being the center of attention, her chubby little hands grabbing at your faces. 

“And I’ll see you tomorrow, lil’ miss.” He took her from you once more, playfully lifting Josie up in the air just to make her giggle. Javier grinned at you as he cradled her against his chest. Despite all of his initial hesitations about parenthood — he’d become an incredible father. You were fairly certain Josie was well on her way to being a daddy’s girl, just from how her sweet face lit up whenever he was around. 

——

The rest of the day went by in a blur. 

You dropped Josie off at the sitter down the hall from your apartment, a sweet older woman who you were certain Josie would grow up to call her abuelita. The nice part was that she had zero connections with the DEA, which meant both you and Javier were listed as her emergency contacts. One of the few places he was free to be acknowledged as her father. 

Work dragged on for an eternity. Javier spent most of the day in and out of meetings in preparation for the stakeout, looking more stressed than usual. Especially when the CIA showed up for one of the late-afternoon briefings. 

“Seems like a shit show,” You remarked to Javi as he came back from the break room with a styrofoam cup of stale coffee. 

He grunted his response as he sank down at his desk across from you, glowering in your direction. “You have no idea.” 

You weren’t alone in the bullpen of desks. 

Chris, one of the lower level DEA agents, chimed in. “I guess every stakeout can’t be at a brothel. Eh, Peña?” He laughed, like it was the funniest damn thing he’d ever said. 

“Damn shame.” Javier offered with a blasé tone, sipping at his coffee. Even though you’d lowered your gaze back to the mounting stack of papers on your desk, you knew he was watching you. 

You’d managed to keep the charade in place for a year now, but sometimes it felt like the universe was testing your patience. Mostly it was just Chris, trying desperately to seem like he fit in around the office. He was obviously supposed to fill the void that Murphy left behind, but instead, he just became the gopher for whatever task Javier wasn’t in the mood to put up with. 

“How’s the kiddo?” Chris asked as he leaned back in his seat and propped his legs up on his desk. 

“She’s fine.” You answered crisply, offering a faint smile before shuffling your papers like you were busy. 

“My girl’s been nagging me about kids. I told her — I don’t know if that’s for me. You know?” He wadded up a piece of paper and chucked it across the room, where it joined a pile of crumpled papers that hadn’t made it into the bin. “When’d you decide kids weren’t for you, Peña?”

Javier snorted, “I ain’t dead yet.” 

Dissatisfied with Javier’s answer, Chris turned his attention back to you. “Well, I think it’s real modern of you to be a working mom. “I think Van Ness was raised by a single mom. He turned out okay.” 

“I’m sure Josie will turn out just like her mom,” Javier interjected, getting up from his desk to throw Chris’ paper mess away in the bin. He passed behind your desk and gave your shoulder a friendly squeeze, though you knew exactly what those three little squeezes meant. “I hate to abandon this riveting conversation, but I gotta head out.” He nodded his head towards Chris, before leaving with a lingering look in your direction. 

——

The little chain attached to your bedside lamp clinked against the metal base as it swung freely. The warm golden light cut through the darkness of your bedroom, casting ominous shadows across Javier’s face as he stood in the doorway. You were relieved, at first, to see him — until you took account of the dark stains that colored his pale blue shirt. The crimson that was smeared across his cheek.

“Javi—” You started, throwing your covers back as you moved towards him. “What the hell happened?” Your eyes raked over him, looking for the source of the blood. “Are you hurt?”

“Daniel.” He answered lowly, “He got shot.” 

Javier flinched when you reached out to touch him, his hand flying up to grab your wrists. He squeezed it tightly, just this side of pain. You could feel the tension radiating off of him, the barely contained rage flowing through him. The after-effects of a firefight. 

“Don’t.” Javier warned as you started to reach out for him with the hand that wasn’t caught in his vice-like grip. 

“Tell me what happened.” 

He looked away, brows furrowed and his jaw working tightly. “The intel was bad. Shit was a setup.” He loosened his hold on your wrist, letting his arms drop down by his sides. “He’ll live. Barely.” 

“Good.” Your heart was still racing from the alarm of being awoken in the middle of the night. Javier was lucky you recognized his footsteps, otherwise, you would’ve been forced to use the gun in your nightstand. “You didn’t answer me.” 

“I’m fine.” He gritted out, but you knew that wasn’t the case. Maybe he was physically unharmed, but his demeanor told another story. He’d been through hell and back and his first instinct was to come home to you. Bloodied and brooding, you were the person he sought out when nothing made sense. 

Javier didn’t pull away when you reached for him again. You brushed your fingertips over his forehead, trailing them down along the rise of his cheekbone. His expression softened subtly as he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. “Let me take care of you.” You whispered, taking his hand into yours. “You need a shower.” Not only was he covered in blood, but you could smell the adrenaline-fueled sweat clinging to his skin. 

He nodded stiffly and let you guide him out of your bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom. His clothes came off easily, his ruined shirt abandoned on the floor, joined moments later by his dark denim jeans that were darkened in spots by Daniel’s blood. 

Neither of you spoke as you helped him undress. Words just weren’t necessary as you turned the shower on and watched him step behind the sliding glass door. Nothing even needed to be said when you followed him in, still dressed in your sleep shorts and a tank top. 

The warm water washed the blood off his skin, turning the water red around your bare feet. You dragged a washcloth over his neck and jaw, wiping away what the water couldn’t claim. Your soft touches couldn’t ease all of the tension in his body. He was holding it all in, desperate to keep control of his emotions. 

Javier crowded you back against the wall of the shower, breathing raggedly as he stared down at you — like a predator with its prey. Something snapped; the tension, the desire, the rush of emotions. His fingers clawed at your sleep shorts, dragging the damp fabric down your hips. You surged up to kiss him, fingers curling around the back of his neck as your mouth slanted against his. A clash of teeth, a twist of tongues, desperate and bruising and fueled by a need. 

He tore at your tank top, freeing one breast and roughly palming at it. It had been months since you’d been touched like this. Any attempt at intimacy had come from early morning interrupted fumbles and half-asleep groping that inevitably ended in snoring. 

“Please.” You hissed out, fingernails dragging down the back of his neck, pressing close to him. His rigid cock was trapped between your bellies and you groaned at the mere thought of having him in you again. 

Javier’s teeth dragged over your bottom lip with just enough pressure that you were certain your lip would be swollen tomorrow. You didn’t care. You’d wear the marks he gave you, in trade for the ones he wore that were beneath the skin. 

His fingers twisted in your hair, a harsh grip as he turned you around to face the wall. Your tender breasts pressed against the cool tile, a shiver racing down your spine. He kissed the back of your neck, tongue tracing water droplets that cling to your shoulder. His teeth found purchase on a tender spot of skin where your neck became your shoulder and you tried not to cry out. 

You wanted Josie to stay asleep. You needed Javier too much to stop. 

His fingers grabbed at your thigh, fingers pressing into soft flesh harshly enough to bruise. He used his knee to nudge your legs apart wider, positioning you just right. 

Javier released his grip on your hair, using his hand to cover your mouth. Your teeth scraped against his palm, finding purchase in the skin to muffle the moan that escaped you as he guided his cock into you. He pressed in until your ass was pressed against his hips — filling you completely. 

You pried his hand off your mouth, panting out his name. He wasn’t moving and you desperately needed him to move. You clenched around him, trying to spur him on and it worked. 

He fucked you like his life depended on it. All of that tension he’d balled up inside of himself came flooding out of him with every brutal snap of his hips. You were trapped between the wall and his cock — fingers grabbed at the forearm he had securely wrapped around your waist, keeping you pinned against him. 

His other hand was wedged between your thighs, roughly stroking at your clit in time with his pace. It almost hurt, how hard you came apart for him. Your body bowed back against his chest, hands uselessly grabbing at the wet shower wall for support. 

Javier’s teeth left a mark on your shoulder as he followed behind you. All it took was two sharp thrusts and you felt him spill within you, his cock throbbing as you clenched around him desperately. The water had gone cold above you, but that wasn’t the only reason you were trembling. Despite how roughly he had handled you, in the aftermath he lavished your tender skin with soft kisses and touches, trying to ease the pain he’d caused.

It wasn’t until Javier’s cock slid out of you and you were able to turn around to face him that you saw how red his eyes were. If you didn’t know better, you would’ve mistaken his tears for the water droplets flowing down his cheeks from the showerhead. But you knew him. Better than anyone else did.

Javier wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. You didn’t care how cold the water got above you, you played with his hair and held him while he sobbed into your shoulder. 

——

When the first light of morning crept in through your windows, you were surprised to find the bed empty beside you. Instinctively, you got out of bed and made your way down the hall to the nursery. Your heart clenched as you pushed the door open and found Javier inside. 

He was sound asleep on the floor beside Josie’s crib, his hand wedged between the gap in the bars. Josie had fallen asleep with her little hand wrapped around his fingers. You quietly stepped further inside, leaving the door partially open so the sound of the door shutting wouldn’t disturb them. You moved towards the rocking chair in the corner of the room, taking the blanket off the arm. As you turned back around, Javier stirred — blinking groggily up at you. 

You pressed a finger to your lips to keep him quiet as you sat down on the floor beside him. You unfolded the blanket over your laps, settling yourself into his side, resting your cheek against his chest. 

Javier kissed the top of your head, curling his arm around your shoulders. “I want to tell them.” He whispered into your hair. 

You shifted beside him so you could cup his cheek, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips. “Then we’ll tell them today.” 

Daniel getting shot had broken something within him. He hadn’t said it, but you knew. You understood it. That fear. Now that you had a kid, the DEA didn’t put you into as many dangerous situations — but Javi was still out there getting shot at, playing Russian Roulette with his life. It could’ve easily been Javier who had gotten shot last night and you wouldn’t have known until you walked into work and read a report. 

“Javi,” You started, tracing your fingertips over his collarbone as you watched him. 

“Mhm?”

“I want you to move in.” 

Javier grinned back at you, his fingers squeezing your shoulder three short times. “Thought you’d never ask, baby.” 

Josie whimpered softly in her crib and you couldn’t help but laugh. “I was wondering when that was going to happen.”

Javier got up to get her before joining you on the floor again, leaning back against the crib. “You’re going to get so sick of me.” He said in a teasing voice to Josie as he propped her up against his bent knees. “Daddy’s going to be here all the time now.”

You scooted close, resting your head on his shoulder. “I don’t think she could ever get sick of you.” 

“What about you?”

“Jury’s out on that one.” You pulled back a little to look at him, lips pursed together thoughtfully. “There’s always the potential.” 

The morning felt like any other. 

Javier dressed while Josie nursed. He had coffee made and on the table when you came into the kitchen. He entertained the baby while you made yourself a bowl of cereal. 

But today he didn’t leave before you. 

Today, your car didn’t leave the parking lot. 

Today, Javi drove to work with his hand on your thigh, rubbing those annoying little circles of his into your leg. 

Today, you stole a kiss from him in the elevator. 

Today, you didn’t care what anyone thought. 

Today, Javier wasn’t just your partner — he was Josie’s father. 

[rylanssbv658]

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And with its drag and drop contractor, you can create these campaigns in a matter of minutes, even if you have zero coding skills or technical understanding. However you may be wondering how you can utilize it with your Vo, IP phone service. That's easy: by making a "Click to Call" button like this: With Optin, Beast, you can show targeted projects to engage your consumers and get them to call your organization. Plus, doing so is easy! Whatever starts by picking an Optin, Beast design template for the project you wish to construct (such as a popup, drifting bar, fullscreen welcome mat, and so on): From there, you can customize your project to make it look expert, even if you don't have any coding or style experience.

You can include new features with a drag and a drop: This permits anybody to rapidly and quickly produce professional-looking and high-converting projects. However from there, you'll need to show your popup to the best people, in the best places, and at simply the correct time in their consumer journey. For that, you require powerful targeting guidelines, like the following one's used by Optin, Beast: Show messages as users are actively leaving your site. Show your "click to call" popup based on your visitor's physical place - voip cordless phone. Make fresh offers to returning visitors to prevent "popup tiredness." These are just a few of Optin, Beast's popular targeting rules, though there are lots of others.

You can do the same and recover more direct require your service to generate leads. How? The location to begin is by clicking below and starting your 100% risk-free Optin, Monster account today: Our conversion professionals will design 1 complimentary project for you to get maximum outcomes absolutely RELEASE! Click on this link to get started Now let's dive into our list of the finest Vo, IP company phone systems available. Nextiva is the best service Vo, IP system readily available and offers a user friendly, effective little organization phone system. Additionally, you don't require a yearly contract, and Nextiva is quick to setup.

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Also, you'll get a toll-free number free with any of their plans. It has a basic web-based admin panel that makes it easy to handle your business communications platform, no matter your company requirements. Nextiva provides other calling features like CRM tools, live chat, online studies, and more. Nextiva's client support also gets rave reviews. Quick setup Uses industry-standard SIP procedure Endless contacting us to the United States, Canada, and Puerto Rico Bring your existing phone numbers (number portability) Route calls to the next available agent with call queuing Instantaneous conference calls and Meet-Me conferencing Nextiva app lets you manage calls from your mobile device Advanced IVR (Interactive Voice Response) with speech commands and biometrics Trustworthy information centers with 99.

Pricing starts at $20/month per user for the Fundamental strategy. Ring, Central is a reputable, safe, and problem-free IP phone service. It's easy to establish and comes with useful features like call forwarding, call tracking, video and audio conferencing, automatic call recording, screen sharing, and faxing. Ring, Central likewise provides functions to support call centers. You can establish numerous phone lines with their call center software. You can contact your consumers through your workplace phone system, text messaging, e-mail, or social. This provides small companies the bandwidth to create full-on contact centers to improve UX. This Vo, IP option incorporates with 3rd-party services like Zapier, Salesforce, Workplace 365, Google Drive, Dropbox, and more.

Ring, Central offers consumer assistance by means of their online knowledge center, plus they use phone support. This is a feature-rich option that will not break the bank. Simple and easy setup Online faxing Endless calls within the United States and Canada Select a toll-free or local service telephone number Unrestricted audio and video conference capabilities Voicemail-to-text service Automatic call recording Little to large-scale organizations. Prices starts at $19. 99/month per user (billed annually). Grasshopper is a popular service phone system for small company owners. It comes with all the important features you need like call transfers, incoming call control, simultaneous call handling, custom-made greetings, voicemail, and more.

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Both the web-based website and app-based website are simple to use to handle your telephone system. Desktop and mobile apps (i, OS and Android) Voicemail transcription service Auto-attendant with custom greetings Service texting service Call transfer service Start-ups and small companies trying to find a robust Vo, IP service. Pricing begins at $26/month per number (billed annually). Phone. com is a cost effective Vo, IP option that provides call waiting, call forwarding, voicemail, caller ID, call queuing, text messaging, and more. Plus, you http://edition.cnn.com/search/?text=VoIP Phone can choose at least 1 regional or toll-free number with all plans. If you have an interest in analytics, you won't be dissatisfied with Phone.

It includes caller analytics that reveals your callers' demographics, social profiles, and more. Additionally, it offers simple and app-based administration to make management a breeze. While Phone. com's base plan is among the least expensive, you'll also be paying additional fees for the more advanced functions. Option of virtual or toll-free numbers Number portability, including bulk number porting HIPAA compliance Voice tagging informs you which department the caller desires Call tape-recording Video conferencing Local call minutes include Canada and several European nations Assistance for different gadgets including mobile phones Softphone assistance (no need to buy new phones or committed hardware) Little to big services that desire an inexpensive Vo, IP service.

99/month (when billed every year). Vonage is a plug-and-play Vo, IP service that uses unrestricted calling and SMS text messages in the United States and Canada. Moreover, in addition to the basic Vo, IP functions like voicemail to email, call screening, call forwarding, etc., you likewise get access to Amazon Chime. Unlike many service providers on this list, Vonage provides toll-free numbers as an addon, suggesting you have to pay more for it. Nevertheless, Vonage does use a ridiculously robust suite of features to select from, so you can develop the organization phone system that's best for you. 99. 999% uptime reliability Includes Amazon Chime Pro tier for chat, screen share, video, and web conferencing Mobile and desktop apps SD-WAN technology available Call and paging groups Customized caller ID Because of its scalability, Vonage works for little to enterprise-level companies.

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99/month per line. 88 is a popular and inexpensive business phone service. It consists of all the basic functions like number sharing, automated call presence, call forwarding, chat, SMS, and more. However, 88 does do not have some of the sophisticated features provided by other Vo, IP suppliers on our list. Unrestricted calling within the United States and Canada (up to 47 nations with certain plans) Auto-attendant Cross-platform group messaging Native CRM and knowledgebase Analytics and call quality reporting Budget-conscious little services that still desire worldwide calling - voip business phone. However, they do likewise have Enterprise plans. Pricing begins at $12/month per user. Skype has the highest name acknowledgment of any other phone system on our list.