#service made it out here tho so it’s the small things

[akkivee]

*kuukou voice* earthquakes thunder fire fathers but what you should fear most is yourself

(a literal tornado blew thru my home lol)

[icarusredwings]

This post may not be suitable for littles or people who get uncomfy with mentions of baby making stuff. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK THO I SWEAR!!!!

Wade:

Thinking about how much Wade loves babies when he's small.

He's holding Logan's hand down the street as they're running errands, and he's being so good, like SUPER good. Not running away, litsening to instructions, using his words in a way Kitty can understand.

He doesn't even have Fluffy with him either, so he's doing all of this with minimal emotional support, just his chewy star necklace and one of Logans big hoodies. He's in some colorful leggings, though, and in his pocket is nothing but a snack. Not even his cup.

Bro is raw dogging the adult outdoors as his small self with practically nothing. He's still wearing his dog tags, though, just in case he gets lost, they're used as a source of identification.

Ealier, when Wade wanted to pet a stray cat instead of just running off, he gasped and pointed to it. "Kitty!" Which is obviously code for "Look! A cool thing!" So when Logan looked, he saw how polite Wade was behaving.

"Be gentle, okay? Sometimes, they don't like humans." He tells him, carefully walking him over in which Wade just squats down to pet the cat very nicely. You would think 'yeah no duh he wouldn't hurt it,' and you would be correct, though sometimes he pets them too rough or moves too quickly so they get scared and scratch him.

Right now, he's bored, leaning on his shoulder and starting to get fussy because paying bills is boring, and he wants to go home. Chewing on his star, he stops, and his eyes light up, seeing a stoller.

Wade loves strollers. Because where there is a pram- Theres a babe. And babies were great. (Unless they were screaming, and then they were not)

He tugs a bit on Logan, but he's ignored because he's trying to ask the internet service people why they charged them 15 extra this month when nothing changed. "Kitty!" He points, looking at him for consent to go see the baby. Frustrated, confused, and not looking, Logan assumes that he sees another cat and waves a hand. "Yeah, sure. Be gentle."

So, being given the okay, Wade practically skips over to the stroller and crouches down to see a chunky cheeked baby boy. His mum is busy on the phone, so she doesn't even notice a grown man cooing over the child.

Giggling to the baby, he lets him grab his finger and nibble on it. Tickling his cheeks and stuff, you know. Baby stuff. So when he takes off his hood to let the baby play with his necklace, the baby gets upset and starts to cry.

I think we would all cry if we saw a glowy yellow eyed man smiling at us like that with such unfarmiliar skin. You have to remember, babies only know what they're shown, and I doubt it's ever seen anything like this before.

Of course, it cries. And the crying alerts the mom. "Ooh shh, Steven, you're al- Ahh!! Who are you! Get away from my baby, you freak!"

Getting shooed away, he whines, unsure of what he did wrong. Was it bad to play with babies? His head said No.

"What is wrong with you!?"

"I-i... but.." he dosn't know what to say, tries to explain that he didn't do anything bad and that he was sorry but she dosn't seem to care about his words. This is New York afterall. Kids are stolen all the time here.

The yelling, of course, makes Logan think "Great some idiot made the baby cry," only to pause and wonder where Wade went. "OH SHIT that's MY idiot." He thinks and instantly becomes protective, growling as he gives in and throws the extra money at the tiller. Coming outside, he steps in front of Wade. Sure, Wade is a weirdo, but he wouldn't do anything to the baby. Right??

"What's your deal lady!?"

"He tried to take my son!!" She says, assuming the worst.

Logan gives a glance to Wade, who's already crying and shakes his head, unable to get any words out, but "I'm good!" Seeing as various times today, Logan has praised him for behaving. "You're being so good today, kid."

"No he didn't! Now take your ugly pup and get!"

A bit more of arguing, and she finally goes on her way, complaining about New York Weirdos.

After that, he starts asking Wade why he was touching a random baby and honestly just running his mouth that he knows better and shouldn't do that, etc.

Almost instantly, it stops, though, because he's already crying. He lets out this huge sigh. "Fine... Im sorry.. I know you like babies. How about I give you a baby. Would you like that?"

Logan doesn't mean it in the way Wade thinks, obviously, as his eyes widden, sniffling. "You're gonna give me a baby!?"

"Yeah, sure-"

"We're gonna have a baby!!!??"

"WAIT- No! Not like that!"

He squeals and excitedly flaps his hands, continuing to go on about how 'Mommy tried to give him a baby, but it didn't work'

Slapping his hand over his face, he's so embarrassed, blushing all the way down his neck and up his ears. He shakes his head and growls. "SHHH!!! That's not what I meant!! We can't even have a baby moron!" I mean, who wouldn't be embarrassed about their partner OPENLY talking about their past relations in public?

So- He does what every person does when their partner is obsessed with babies by can't have any.

He takes him to the thrift store to pick one out.

[xxsabitoxx]

Tengen, Makio, Suma and Hina NSFW Alphabet

Tengen x Makio x Suma x Hina x implied Fem!Reader

Warning: this post is full of smut

A/N: I know y’all been missing them :’) so here they are eheh I hope this satisfies the cravings for a tiny bit!

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

Tengen: this man will do absolutely everything for the four of you, from start to finish his whole focus is always on you four. That being said, he’s a sucker for aftercare. He not only loves providing it for the four of you, but he loves when you four provide it for him.

Makio: she’s the one getting up to get the cleaning supplies. Wet cloths, water, fresh clothing, etc. Makio’s love language is acts of service and this is her biggest way of expressing her affection after the fact without getting flustered.

Suma: she’s super clingy after, placing soft kisses and gentle caresses. She’s usually always attached to one of you while you clean up, her cheek pressed to your shoulder as you five chat softly. She also loves being babied so it’s not shocking that she’s clingy after.

Hinatsuru: she’s fussing over everyone after the fact while also being completely blissed out. I see Hina being pretty quiet after, a smile always present on her face as she runs her hands through your hair, snuggled tightly in Tengen’s embrace while watching you and Makio giggle as you talk.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

Tengen: don’t you dare make this man choose. He’s obsessed with his body to be completely honest. He put a lot of effort into it after all. On the four of you, Tengen is completely obsessed with your thighs. I mean come on, this lucky bastard as four sets to admire. He also enjoys a nice ass, but is anyone shocked by that?

Makio: she loves her hands, she can’t even explain why other than she loves how they look at she loves the things they can do…heh. On Tengen she loves his shoulders, their broad and warm and make her feel safe when she’s worried or insecure. On you, Hina and Suma she loves your backs. Again, she can’t really explain why other then the text that she loves the way they look when their arched so prettily.

Suma: she loves her neck. Which sounds pretty odd but she loves the way it looks when she puts on the pretty jewelry Tengen got her, she also loves the way it looks when it’s covered in your pretty hickies. On Tengen she loves his thighs. Those things could easily crush her head never mind a watermelon. On you, Makio and Hina, she’s utterly obsessed with your chests. Anything and everything boob really. Big, small, uneven, perky, sagging, doesn’t matter.

Hinatsuru: she loves her hips. She was initially insecure about them, but the amount of love and praise the four of you bestowed on her made it hard for her to feel any insecurities about them. On Tengen she loves his arms. She feels so safe and secure in them, she loves the way they feel wrapped around her. On you, Makio and Suma she adores your arms as well. Hina is all about intimacy, she wants nothing more than to be loved and held by you all

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Tengen: if he could always have his way, none of his cum would ever go anywhere other than inside of his wives. Naturally though, he refrains and listens to what they want…aka where they want it. This man is more than willing to breed and be a father but he will always respect the wishes of his wives.

Makio: prefers if Tengen doesn’t make a mess on her, much rather it inside. But sometimes it’s very hot to have him come on her face even tho she’s embarrassed after.

Suma: anywhere is fine with her… so long as he avoids the eyes. There was one incident that they still bring up to this day and joke about. Most of the time she tells Tengen to go wherever he feels

Hinatsuru: wants it inside, she says she isn’t actively trying but she also isn’t preventing Tengen from getting her pregnant. Though, truth be told, she really would like to be the first wife to get pregnant.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

Tengen: secretly wants the four of you to dominate him completely - I’m talking restraints (as if he can’t easily break them), bdsm, overstimulation, the whole deal

Makio: really wants to watch from an outside perspective of you, Tengen, Hina and Suma fucking. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be involved, she just really wants to watch for a bit

Suma: wants to try public sex but is too shy to admit it. Also because there is no way the five of you wouldn’t be caught and she would never be able to live it down since it was her idea

Hinatsuru: interested in the idea of role play, especially CNC but she’s worried the four of you will find her strange for wanting to try it.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

It’s safe to say that Tengen, Makio, Suma and Hina are all pretty experienced and well versed in the realm of sex. Having spent so much time with each other, they’ve been able to learn all the tips and tricks and know how to make you and each other feel good and have fun. There’s never been an awkward moment, which is why it’s funny to them that they still keep some secret desires secret.

F= Favorite position

Tengen: mating press, doggy, butterfly, and any position that allows him to show off his strength tbh.

Makio: doggy, scissoring, cowgirl

Suma: reverse cowgirl, missionary, thigh riding

Hinatsuru: spooning, 69, face sitting, cowgirl

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

It’s safe to say that between Tengen, Makio, Suma and Hina they are fairly laid back when it comes to sex. Like there is no reason to be super serious and a lot of the time they’ll crack jokes and tease one another. Like you have nothing to be insecure about or scared of when you’re with them. Even if you “make a mistake” or try something and you don’t like it / they don’t like it, it’s a judgment free zone and you’ll simply move on from it.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

Tengen: I’d say he’s usually pretty groomed, sometimes he even prefers to go hairless. It really depends on what the four of you want from him. He couldn’t care less about the appearance of it so long as it’s groomed and hygienic. On his wives, he’s completely indifferent. You could have a bald coochie or a full forest down there and he’s still gonna eat up up nonetheless lmao

Makio, Suma & Hina: usually well maintained. They’ll shave on occasion but aren’t insecure about having stubble or a lot of hair down there. They have a lot of other things to do than worry about the hair status of their coochies lmao. On Tengen, they are usually indifferent as well, though they'd rather have a little hair down there as opposed to bald

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

Tengen, Makio, Suma & Hina are all much more romantic and intimate than rough and dirty. Not to say they can't be rough or downright nasty. But group sex is usually a lot more body worship and loving than 'punishing'. Usually it’s the four of you ganging up on Tengen anyways.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

Tengen: he doesn’t need to, he’s never really gotten the urge either. At least not since getting married.

Makio: once in a while. If she happens to have the house to herself for some reason or is alone taking a bath, sometimes her mind wanders and she’ll take care of herself when she needs to

Suma: not saying she doesn’t know how to, but rather she’s never satisfied when she does it by herself. She much prefers someone with her and can’t really finish if she’s alone

Hinatsuru: when she feels like it. Similar to Makio, it’s rare moments that she’s alone that spur her on to do something. Though she’s left longing for her spouses by the time she’s done.

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

Tengen: size kink, breeding kink, exhibitionist, voyeurism, a lil bit of urophilia, auralism… is that cliche? Praise kink

Makio: Voyeurism, exhibitionist, breath play, breeding kink, praise kink, won’t admit it but humiliation kink, bondage

Suma: size kink, voyeurism, exhibitionist, breast play, overstimulation, pregnancy kink, blindfolds

Hinatsuru: impact play, overstimulation, voyeurism, dacryphilia, exhibitionist, breeding kink, dom/sub themes, secretly into CNC but doesn’t know how to bring it up

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

Considering that a majority of the time it’s group sex, it’s nearly impossible to get away with any sort of public relations. Tengen, Makio, Suma & Hinatsuru have their preferences within the estate.

Tengen: anywhere in the estate or on the estate’s grounds.

Makio: the bathroom, specifically the bath itself.

Suma: the living area, on the mats, the floor, the walls, she likes the open doors and open space

Hinatsuru: the bed, makes it much easier in her opinion

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

Tengen: he’s a sucker for soft/tender moments and embarrassingly enough they are big turn ons for him. Playing with his hair for example? Rock hard within the first two minutes lmao

Makio: tease her, be a brat, she loves when you, Tengen, Suma or Hina are bratty and defiant. She also loves when you’re touchy with her, like holding her waist or cuddling

Suma: she’s usually clingy, therefore she gets pretty turned on when you’re clingy instead. She loves when you get real close and whisper to her, tell her how much you love her and need her

Hinatsuru: shy acts of love, soft confessions, revealing clothes. One of these things are not like the other lmao. Hinatsuru is pretty easy to get in the mood, even the simplest of things get her worked up

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

Tengen: daddy kink. He for sure will say it jokingly, even joke with his wives about it — they’ll even call him it to make him cringe. But the moment it’s used unironically? He cannot take anything serious after that moment

Makio: breast torture. Nope, nada, not happening. Her breasts are far too sensitive to be sucked on never mind using things like clamps or biting. It freaks her out

Suma: age play. She can be a cry baby, she can be whiny, but the moment you begin treating her like an actual child? Nope, yuck.

Hinatsuru: spitting. Spit on her cunt as lube? Fine. Hot even. Spit in her mouth? She’s tapping out, she will immediately be over it

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

Tengen: giving and receiving. Suck him off while one of your wives eats you out. Sit on his face while one of his wives bounces on his dick. Have one of his wives sit on your face while he eats you out. He’s a bit obsessed with oral.

Makio: receiving. She’s a pretty pillow princess when she gets the chance. She’ll try so hard to stay quiet but instead it creates the prettiest sounds, she loves when she gets eaten out

Suma: pussy fiend. She is all up in there, giving giving and more giving. She loves eating pussy, loves when you sit on her face, loves when your thighs encase her head

Hinatsuru: giving and receiving. She loves sucking dick and she loves eating / getting her pussy ate. Similar to Tengen, it’s an oral fixation lmao

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

This really only applies to Tengen. The thing is, this question is a bit repetitive considering the two prompts we have right below this one. Tengen prefers fast and hard, but he’s not opposed to slow and deep. He’s the type to accidentally break the whole fucking bed.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

Quickies, in general, are a no go in the Uzui household. Five people is a lot to deal with in a short amount of time.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

Tengen: Sorta open minded, he’s willing to give most things a try

Makio: Sorta open minded, willing to try depending on what it is

Suma: very open minded but does have her limits

Hinatsuru: very open minded, she’ll try anything at least once.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

Tengen: this is a man of patience, self restraint and stamina. He can last 1 or 2 rounds with each of you (so, 4-8 total) and he lasts about 5-8 minutes each time. So it’s not surprising that when you five have sex, it’s kind of a long process

Makio, Suma & Hinatsuru: they are happy with 1 or 2 rounds of actual penetration. Foreplay is a huge part of this, which means by the time the actual penetrative stuff starts, they’ve already had 2 or 3 orgasms. So their stamina is really pretty high.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

Modern times? This is a toy friendly household. Tengen, Makio, Suma & Hinatsuru are big on toys. I can see them even having a whole closet dedicated to them not gonna lie. I’m talking even high end ones… fuck it give them a sex dungeon lmao

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

Tengen: unfair isn’t even in his vocabulary when it comes to sex. He’ll occasionally edge himself or one of his wives but he’s never really denied them of what they wanted.

Makio: she enjoys the teasing to an extent but she will get overwhelmed if it goes on for too long. That being said, she’s very fair and intentional with the things she does in bed.

Suma: mildly unfair but it’s unintentional. She gets lost in this stuff real quick and can occasionally forget to ask how you’re doing / how close you are. Then again, she’s one to overstimulated opposed to edge

Hinatsuru: similar to Tengen, unfair really isn’t in her vocabulary. She doesn’t feel the need to tease you when she can just give you what you both want. It’s never made the most sense to her to just… withhold the things you want.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

Tengen: not super loud but also doesn’t go out of his way to suppress the noises he makes. Talking is a huge part of sex for him and his wives, mostly praising, asking how they’re doing, if they are enjoying it, etc etc etc

Makio: she’s easily flustered by the noises she makes but everyone would argue that she sounds the best. Because she’s trying so damn hard to restrain herself, the noises that do slip out are completely uncontrolled… which makes it all the more appealing

Suma: easily the loudest. She doesn’t hold back any of the noises she makes…and she makes a lot of them. Moaning, whimpering, crying, begging, you name it, she’s not ashamed to do it. It helps that she’s quite sensitive, which only fuels her.

Hinatsuru: she’s quiet, you’ll hear her let out soft gasps and sighs before you hear her really moan. Which I mean, it’s happened. All four of you have gotten a moan out of her at some point or another but typically she’s quiet with her noises. Unless you catch her off guard.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

The Uzui household often discusses which Hashira would be fun to invite over and… have some fun with. Plus his wives would really like to see Tengen with a male partner (for research…hmm) and so far, all five of you have settled on this list of best to worse

1. Rengoku ~ 2. Giyu ~ 3. Mitsuri ~ 4. Shinobu ~ 5. Sanemi ~ 6. Gyomei ~ 7. Obanai

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

Tengen: 6.5-7 inches if not bigger. Idgaf about being realistic this man is 6’6 if you think he ain’t packing you’re on crack. He’s girthy and long and has a slight curve and veins :) big long run on sentence just like his di-

Makio, Suma & Hinatsuru: I got nothing to say here like a coochie is a coochie. I ain't ever seen a bad coochie and I know damn well they got top-tier coochies. That's a lot of mfing coochie

Y= Yearning (sex drive level)

Tengen: he's a man of patience and composure. It's hard for him to ever lose his cool. This also applies to his sex drive. Don't get me wrong, this man is horny as fuck. He's got four wives, it's impossible not to be. But he's able to control it well and he's pretty subtle about it to an extent.

Makio: she’s the least obvious when horny, most of the time she feeds off of everyone else (unless she’s tipsy). She’s definitely hesitant to initiate some things because she’s shy about her own hormones from time to time lol

Suma: open about her horniness, her sex drive is through the fucking roof tbh. Like y’all could just be sitting down and eating dinner and she’ll stop mid bite to say “we’re fucking after this, right?” She is always in the mood… always.

Hinatsuru: she’s the most horny. She just doesn’t let you know that… cause I mean you know what they say about the quiet ones. While suma goes out of her way to bring up sex, Hina does it subtly but just as effectively. Her sex drive tops Suma’s by a lot

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

Tengen: He's knocking the fuck out within ten minutes. I mean do you really blame him? He just satisfied the four of you (pretty mfing good I should add) so of course he's going to be slumped.

Makio: She's a mix between chatty and blissed out, It's likely she'll fall asleep mid-discussion. She's usually the first among the four of you to fall asleep after Tengen.

Suma: She's more on the energetic side, clinging to one of you and carrying the conversation until you're all asleep. Suma is usually the last one awake, enjoying the warmth and peace around her before finally relaxing

Hinatsuru: Once she's done fussing over everyone, she's trying her hardest not to fall asleep right then and there. Suma is so talkative after that Hina tries her best to stay awake and listen to her

[sstardustt3]

toby rogers relationship hcs! (both sfw and nsfvv)

tags II toby rogers x reader II creepypasta II nsfw II mentions of him being a manwhore II toby being a whinny little bitch II slight angst at the beginning II toby being a wet cat of a boyfriend II just general hcs of mine II

-Okay so im just gonna say this right now that he is NOT a good boyfriend not intentionally of course but none the less, a bad boyfriend. 

-He’s the type to be overly obsessive and jealous of you, not even like the people that surround you and other men but just you as a person 

-i don’t think he’s abusive but i do think he would be an asshole for two reasons

One, he is canonically an asshole and he is an obnoxious little shit 

and two it is cannon that he is annoying to the point where he makes people full on cry

So in my opinion i think if you were to ever get into an argument with this man he’s either mocking you until you break down

-i do think he’ll feel bad about it tho after a while and apologize (eventually)

- but adding on to being overly obsessive i think he’ll also be very clingy and extremely scared of loosing you

- I think being with him would kinda be an endless cycle of good times, hating the world, and then fighting, apologies and then repeat

But moving on from that  lets talk about some happier hcs!!

I think he’d like very calm very small easy dates liike going to the aquarium or literal hanging out on the roof of a house and just eating or talking just something very simple and easy to do.

He would definitely be the type to just stare at people and not even realize that he’s doing it and he does that alot and now he does it even more with you! He just stares at you like some type of strange special thing he found

I don’t feel like he’s the type to be vocal about his love and he mostly just uses physical affection (kinda like a cat, he’ll give you affection if he wants it)

Which brings me to another point, he looks like a  wet cat and acts like one whenever he even TOUCHES water. Like he can’t stand it and he hates the way it feels on his skin, you found this out when on your second date he let you pick out where to go and out of everywhere you chose a beach..? Like okay picture this..

“...what the fuck is this?”

“It’s a beach, toby.”

“I know that much im not stupid, why are we here.”

“Because your whiter than a ghost and you can use some sun and two, the beach is fun!”

“...now what in the peanut butter fuck made you think that the beach is fun.”

“Stop whining like a little bitch and get in the water.”

“Im not getting in the goddamn water- wait- no-”

SPLASH.

-you threw him into the shallow part of the water and he started coughing and squirming and trying to claw his way onto shore like his life depended on it. 

-which brings me to another point, his hygiene is ASS. Like if you weren’t there you he would have continued to use axe bodyspray and act like that is good enough and nobody notices that he showers once every blue moon. 

-He did used to shower more often when he was with clockwork but after that he just fell out of habit

-but once he got with you he started to slowly fall back into actually taking care if himself and eating full meals and not just living off of  several week old pizza and monster energy

-but when you first met him it was unbearable, so unbearable that you literal had to get in the shower with him and take one with im just to make sure he actually cleans himself properly.

-you actually ended up helping him was his back and he ended up sobbing like a baby, so safe to say you knew then and their what his love language was..

-acts of service!! He is a huge fan of acts of service because  boy hadn’t had people really take care of him like that before at first he ends up rejecting almost all of the things you do but eventually he comes around to it and ends up letting himself enjoy being taken care of

NSFVV WARNING FOR THIS PART

- I don’t think that he’s as sex addicted as most people say he is

-like don’t get me wrong he still has a fair amount of hook ups but i personally don’t think it’s as big of deal to him

- i think when he does do it it’s to let out frustration when he’s pissed about something or he just wants to feel something

-he probably mellowed out overtime so now that he’s with you he’ll still do it when he’s really pissed about something or he’ll just do it because you asked

-he had some experience but he wasn’t very good at it but his willingness to learn made up for that

-he’s very awkward at first he has not clue on what to do, he’s used to it being a one and done type of thing.

-he was only in school until maybe 5th-7th grade (my personal hc not cannon) so he was only given a basic understanding of how the human body works in that way

-but when he gets into it oh my god he is a such a manwhore.

-he is pretty rough most of the time, not intentionally but you can not tell me that working for slender hasn’t given him strong ass arms and a sleeper bulid (but more on that at a later date) 

-he is unbelievably whinny, just praise him and he is your bitch. 

- as i said earlier, he likes acts of service, his way of returning that is aftercare (even if it’s like the bare minimum, it’s the thought that count’s really)

It appears i have ran out of shit to say so that’s the end of this post

(reposts and requests are deeply appreciated and if you want to make a request then submit it through my ask me anything!)

[beanghostprincess]

Silly goofy wild and funky idea:

Transman Crocodile who transitioned via Ivankov.

Cross Guild events and Cross Guild Poly where Buggy finally gets the nerve to come out to her two lieutenants and also boyfriends. Mihawk just blinks like "yes? Your Haki is distinctly feminine, so this makes perfect sense. Oh, dear why are you crying, stop that-" meanwhile Crocodile has to bite back every single we traded genders joke and instead just shrugs, going "I quite literally could not be paid to give a fuck. You know I'm bisexual, this changes little, Clown."

Croc does off hand offer to hook Buggy up with Iva if that's smth she's interested in, tho.

Meanwhile Sanji has come out to the Strawhats as a transwoman as well, and the reactions are much more dramatic but no less supportive - if anything, some may be too supportive /hj ((Franky calls her queen and sis and Hawt Mama, Chopper already began working on ways to synthesize estrogen Just In Case, Luffy could not be made to give a single fuck, Ussop is swooning, Zoro informs her that this changes nothing and he'll still kick her ass, Robin offers her congratulations, Nami is already mathing out adding another bed in the girls' room or making a room JUST for Sanji and Ussop to share, Brooke waits 0.006783259 seconds before asking to see undies, just everyone being supportive and stupid))

This leads to Ivankov getting two separate contacts for their services, and so they arrange to meet at a small-ish island to help both, two birds, one stone :)).

Both crews go full Spiderman meme when they come across each other, and Iva handles it with all the gentility of a bull in a china shop, whisking both ladies away while the rest are left just plain gaping and awkwardly avoiding eye contact or completely oblivious to the tension (cough cough LUFFY).

Insert your own silly ideas here, generally.

But when they come back, Mihawk, Crocodile and Ussop are all just absolutely SWOONING for different reasons, full of Respect Woman Juice and I Love My Wife energy, it's adorable and cute and funny.

((Bonus: Luffy calls Buggy auntie without hesitation, and she almost cries even as she punches him over the head))

THIS IS SO CUTE SELJKFNSFLEFNLNDFDLKNSDLK

Okay, so, my thoughts on this. Crocodile having to hold back the 'we traded genders' joke is so damn real and I laughed SO hard. Love him. So true. And transfem Buggy lives in my mind rent free so this is just perfect because I absolutely love her. She's my beloved. She'd be so anxious about it and cry and Mihawk and Crocodile are like-- So done with her because she's acting stupid and dramatic and of course they're going to still want her. And she's crying and they're rolling their eyes and patting her head at the same time. Poor thing. She needs comfort okay??

And,, Transfem Sanji coming out is always so beautiful in my head. She's been battling her gender issues for AGES and now she feels comfortable enough to come out to the crew. She's anxious but she knows she has to do this now or she never will. And it's-- It's so real to me. The way she would explain everything that happened to her back in Momoiro Island and then say that she's actually a girl. And everyone's quiet because they know she's looking at Luffy only right now, expecting an answer from her captain. And Luffy is just like "??? Okay? You're still my cook. So who cares? You seem happier now!" and that is when Sanji starts crying. Because of course she's crying. And of course, Usopp is the one to hug her first because that's his girlfriend and she needs a hug and forehead kisses right now. But they have 0 privacy because Luffy wants hugs too. I mean. Obviously.

Franky is loud af and he's SOBBING while he screams how proud he is of their cook (I've always said Franky feels like a girldad because just look at how he interacts with Nami. And he's sooooooooo loving Sanji right now). Robin would be so so proud too and would say she's happy for her and smile in the sweetest of ways (Robin please adopt me). I think Chopper would also ask a lot of questions before making estrogen, just in case, but then he'd go and try to make it right away. Nami hugs Sanji but the sweet moment doesn't last long because she's already telling Franky her ideas for a bigger, better room for the girls or!!! "Better!!!!!! A room for Sanji and Usopp so we don't have to deal with them!!!!!! But also make the girl's room bigger because I say so!!!!!!". Zoro says he doesn't give a fuck because he will still kick her ass but he's secretly happy that she looks more relaxed and comfortable in her skin. Brook is Brook and he says his Brook thing about panties but I think Sanji would kick him having the best gender affirmation moment of her fucking life. And Jinbe is just the cutest because I think he'd laugh at the chaotically sweet situation and say that strength comes from being happy with yourself and Sanji is the strongest for being so brave and true to herself (he be saying poetic and cute shit like that and he expects me not to absolutely love him. Dad behavior. I am SO sure he would beat the shit out of anybody who misgendered Sanji. But that's what any Strawhat would do, so,,,).

They go see Iva (Iva my beloved) and they're all,, So uncomfortable,, Buggy acts overconfident and says she's perfectly fine and not scared at all of what Iva's going to do to her body (liar. She's scared af and Crocodile and Mihawk know so they keep scaring her even more because it's funny to see their girlfriend crying. Look. The fact that they're soft and dating doesn't mean they're not gonna bully her). And Sanji has smoked like two fucking boxes of cigarettes already despite saying that she doesn't care about it (she has never been more excited in her entire life) and she's holding Usopp's hand so hard she's going to break it at some point. Anyway, Iva is a dramatic bitch and they make Sanji and Buggy come with them to a more private place because they want it to be a surprise for everyone (drama queen. Love them. I would do it too. Trust the process, girls, you're in good hands). So Cross Guild and the Strawhats end up alone and waiting for their girls to come back. And. Yeah. Uncomfortable. Zoro looks at Mihawk at some point and goes:

Zoro: I thought you were gay. Mihawk: I swing both ways. Usopp: Actually, you swing sword- Mihawk: Awful. Shut up. Don't ever speak to me again. Don't even look at my direction, actually. Roronoa, why is your crew like this? Zoro: It was really funny, though. Mihawk: I wish to not partake in this conversation anymore. Everyone just shut up and wait. ............. Luffy: Hey, guys, do you think Sanji's going to have bigger boobs than Zor- Nami: OH MY GOD LUFFY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT Luffy: BUT I'M CURIOUS Zoro: Yeah, she's going to ask for the biggest of boobs only to piss me off because she's annoying like that. Mihawk: Why would you even care about your breast size, Roronoa? Crocodile: Tsk. You care about mine. Usopp: OH MY GOD SJKFNSKDEWKFJNJKSFN

Okay, so Sanji and Buggy eventually come back. Finally. And they were gorgeous before but now they're even more beautiful because they actually look extremely happy with their bodies. I want to describe how I see them but just check @/vongulli's account and see their fem Buggy because she kills me every time and that's the only way I can see fem Buggy now. And Sanji to me looks like @/sibmakesart's fem Sanji. This artist made a nude fem Sanji not long ago and I loved it,, So much,, ANYWAY!!!!!! Getting carried away.. Thinking about women. It's not my fault I'm a lesbian. But they look perfect and they're comfortable and happy. And Sanji's boobs are surprisingly not huge and Zoro makes a comment about that but Sanji is like:

Sanji: WHAT????? YOU ONLY SEE ME AS A BOOB-OBSESSED GIRL OR WHAT? Literally everyone at the same time: Yes. Sanji: Well, for your information- Usopp: She likes thighs more Sanji: Usopp, don't tell them- Iva: And also, my dears, that is not how my power works Zoro: So you did ask for big boobs and you couldn't have them Sanji: I'm going to kill you and wearing heels it's going to hurt even more Usopp: Is it weird that I'm kind of turned on right now? Nami: ...Haha Usopp: Are you okay? Nami: Hey, Usopp, I- Usopp: You can't fuck her Nami: I swear I can't have anything!!! What do you have against lesbians??? Usopp: YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY??? Nami: I dunno, yes??

Crocodile and Mihawk are having... A moment. They will still bully her and they're sure she's going to look extremely pretty crying and whining but right now she deserves to be worshipped because just look at her. Buggy approaches them and she's like "If you laugh I'm going to throw knives at you and then leave Cross Guild and!! And!! And I'm going to be really mad so pleasedon'tlaughireallylikethispleasedon'truinit" and they look at her with the fondest of looks (but gotta be honest, they're so horny right now it's unbearable. Like yes, happy wife happy home happy everything but also happy dick because just look at her). Crocodile is just frowning and genuinely asks "Why would we laugh? You look stunning, dear" and Mihawk follows with "I must say I'm not surprised, since you've always looked beautiful. But you look... More satisfied with yourself." And Buggy has to hold back the tears and that's why she starts saying things like "Pffft. Yeah! I knew I'd be gorgeous like this too! Now I look even flashier!" and y'know, the two men are letting her have her moment because now she looks even better and they can't stop staring at her. So maybe she's right this time when she fakes confidence.

Usopp and Nami need a second to process everything, I think. Also, they both hit Brook at the same time when he's about to ask Sanji the question™. Nami is having a lesbian moment, but of course Sanji realizes and does her Sanji thing like opening her mouth and speaking:

Sanji: Nami-swaaan!!! Do you like how I look now??? Nami, ignoring her and whispering to herself: Disgusting. I hate this. Zoro: At the end of the day it's just curly, huh? Nami: I was thinking with my dick. Zoro: Yeah. Happens. Been there.

So, Usopp and Sanji finally get their moment together because at least the Strawhats are respectful enough to give them their sweet uhhhh two minutes before they start complimenting Sanji. So that's something! Sanji is confident with her body but is a bit shy and isn't sure what Usopp will think about this. Not that she has changed much, even, but, you know. Just different. In a good way for her! But different. And Usopp approaches her slowly and smiling and he's just so so so happy. And he's like "You look gorgeous!" / "... Really? I wasn't sure whether you'd like it-" / "I will always like you! But more importantly, do you like you?" / "I mean- Weird phrasing, but yes. Yes? I think so. Yes." / "Then that's all that matters." And Sanji really, really doesn't want to cry because she has never cried in front of the whole crew. She just can't help it. But Usopp knows she doesn't like it when others see her cry so he quickly wipes her tears away and when she starts laughing (so so happy and full of love) Usopp just needs to kiss her.

Meanwhile, Luffy is there calling Buggy auntie and asking when she's going to tell Shanks about this. She keeps saying she will never tell him and if he wants to find out, he'll do it through her new wanted poster or whatever, but not from her.

[plutoswritingplanet]

Lady Disdain (Captain Hook x Reader)

a/n: so i know i’ve been gone for like a year, but here, have this captain fucking hook smut jesus christ what am i doing.... (jason isaacs is hot tho, so can you blame me?)

Warnings: Dream Donging, Female Reader, Shakespeare quotes as foreplay

Summary:  Dreams can be a fickle thing. You're about to discover that, as Neverland drags you into a chance encounter with the devilishly handsome Captain. (cross-posted on ao3)

The first thing that rattles you from the calm embrace of sleep, is the smell. Gone is the fain scent of a coffee you've made and left forgotten, replaced instead by seawater and fresh air. Your nose scrunches, as new sensations flood your system. And then there's light. Not from the dim lamp in your apartment, but from the sun, warm and bright, coloring the insides of your eyelids orange. Ultimately, that's what brings you back to reality. There is no way you have direct sunlight in your room, so either your roof has fallen in while you've slept, or something even weirder happened.

As you finally open your eyes, you're hit with the realization, that something weirder indeed had happened, because as your sight accommodates to the sunlight, you realizes, this isn't your room that you're standing in. No, there are rough planks underneath your bare feet, splinters just about ready to break your skin. The wind blows around you, messing up your hair and tugging on your night gown. Wait... Since when have you been wearing a night gown? You remember, quite clearly at that, going to sleep in one of your favorite shirts. Your hands tug on the almost sheer fabric, the ruffles slide between your fingers as you marvel at the feeling. There's no way in hell you would be able to afford this from your minimum wage job.

- Captain?

Your eyes snap up, looking straight at a stocky, short man, dressed in a striped shirt, a red beanie on his head. Nervously, he reaches towards his face to push his small glasses up his nose.

- There appears to be a... uh... A woman, on the ship. - he says, hands shaking.

Your hands fly on instinct towards the hem of your gown, pulling it down, over your knees. Suddenly you realize, this really isn't your apartment, and even if this is a dream, being stuck on a ship with a bunch of strange men is not an ideal situation.

- Yes, Smee, I can see that.

Another voice joins the conversation, and with a gasp you look up, towards the steering wheel. There he stands, slowly walking down from his spot above the whole ship, movements elegant and smooth. In all your life, you've met many men, short, tall, skinny and fuller. Some of them pretty, some of them handsome. But, you've never seen a man quite as beautiful as the one walking towards you with such flourish, it takes your breath away from your lungs. The man pushes Smee out of the way, his lavish outfit and a gigantic hat covering your entire field of vision. There are black feathers all around his collar, mixing with lush, inky black locks of hair falling down past his shoulders. Icy blue eyes stare at you with intensity you've never experienced before, before his lips quirk up into a small smirk under his well-groomed moustache.

- Captain James Hook, at your service, my lady - the man bows down, taking his hat off, and you take a step back as the main, gigantic feather brushes over your feet.

- Am I dreaming? - is the first thing you say in this strange scenario, voice quiet and unsure.

The man looks up at you with a brilliant, roguish smile, before slowly pulling himself back to his full height.

- Who's to say? - he answers in such a cryptic way, you feel a sudden urge to roll your eyes.

Deciding for your own mental safety, that this is, in fact, a dream, you grab both sides of your gown, and bow slightly, just like you've seen in the movies. The Captain smiles at your curtsy, before reaching towards your hand. He takes is, rather gently, and brings it towards his lips, keeping eye contact with you and... Oh...

So this is "that" kind of a dream.

Your heart does a somersault in your chest, and you can nearly feel the blood, as it travels straight to your cheeks.

- What is this place? - you ask, after clearing your throat - Who are you people?

As you look at the crew, that has slowly gathered around you, you can't help but notice the way the Captain's expression of friendliness seemed to slip, just as your eyes left him. Replaced by a much more sinister, scheming glint, that sends a shiver down your spine. No matter, dream or reality, you were not about to let your guard down, especially around someone so obviously maleficent.

- This - the Captain makes a broad movement with his left hand - Is the Jolly Roger, the fastest ship on all Seven Seas. And we...

Your eyebrows furrow slightly, as you see the man approach you, swiftly invading your personal space. He smells of tobacco and rum, mixed in with the ever-present smell of the ocean and warm skin. It's nice, too nice, too easy to get intoxicated on. Acting on instinct, you start to walk back, him matching you step for step. Your back hits the wood of the mast, but the Captain doesn't stop, his figure towering over you, as he cages you in your spot.

- ...Are Pirates.

His words are but a whisper, shared between the two of you in a mockery of intimacy. For a split second, you think, you would like to wake up now. Because the Captain's eyes bear into you, like they're trying to drill holes into your very being, and his left hand comes up to caress your chin, pushing it up, until you're forced to look at him fully. Your breath comes out of your mouth in quick pants, heat rising from your chest all the way to the tips of your ears.

- Unhand me, Captain - you try, much weaker than you've intended, and the man flashes you a grin.

For a second, you're struck with how white his teeth are. A strange observation, but when was the last time you've seen a pirate with good oral hygiene. Then, as if a bucket of cold water has been dumped on you, your thoughts start to gallop, one, clear one forming between your ears. You don't like being in this situation.

And so, bracing yourself and taking a strong breath, you raise your hand, place it onto the man's chest, and push rather hard. He seems to be startled by the contact, eyes flickering to your hand, and back to you in confusion.

- For a man of such high standing, you sure lack manners - you wonder if the surrounding men can sense your demeanor is a lie.

By the way some snicker, you guess they can. Captain Hook raises one eyebrow at you, regarding you with a skeptical stare, and then he brings up his right hand. There it is, gleaming in the sun, a sharp, curved hook attached to where his hand should be. Your face falls, and the man smiles cruelly.

- Case and point - you mutter, eyes never leaving the weapon. - I'll have you know, I'm a respectable lady, and I deserve to be treated as such.

Captain Hook laughs, a short snicker, before regarding you with a look filled with irony.

-  A "respectable lady"? On a ship filled with men, in only her night gown?

Now, that sparks a fire in you, hands on your hips, you stand your ground against the Captain's oppressing posture, all the rage and fire following you in tow.

- I'm not responsible for my circumstance!

- Neither am I, I assure you - he raises his hands in mock surrender.

- Oh? And I'm supposed to just trust a Pirate's word like that? - you throw him a judgmental stare.

The man laughs again, his head inclining towards you in something, that vaguely resembles a show of respect.

- Wise, very wise, darling - your eyebrows shoot upwards at the new form of endearment - What are your demands, as a respectable lady?

You think for a second. In your mind, you haven't really arrived at that point yet, and making something up on the spot would pose a risk of exposing, just how much you have no idea what was going on. And yet, it's just a dream, isn't it? Soon, you'll smell your day's old coffee, and wake back up in your apartment, with no ocean in sight. Why not indulge yourself for a moment, while sleep holds you in its arms?

- I demand a tour of the ship - you announce triumphantly.

The man laughs, his eyes jumping around his crew, as if looking for a confirmation, that what you've said demanded ridicule. Apparently, it did, because all around you, you could hear snicker after snicker. You comfort yourself with the fact most of them sounded forced.

- Is that all? - the Captain already takes a couple of steps in your direction, and panic rises in your gut at his proximity.

- And do me no harm in the process!

That makes him laugh again, this one is loud and booming. Before you can get properly mad at him for laughing in your face, however, he takes off his lavish hat and bows again.

- Your wish is my command, my hearty.

Your face twists at the nickname, but you decide to say nothing, not wanting to push your luck, especially after being confronted with his deadly prosthetic. It's just a dream, you remind yourself in your head, as he comes over to stand by your side, arm sliding around your waist. It's just a dream, you keep reciting, when you feel his fingers pick at the thin fabric of your nightgown.

- ...Just a dream... - you mutter, and if he has heard, he decided not to comment, opting instead to pull you towards him, as he began to walk around the ship.

To his credit, the tour of the upper deck is completely respectable and rather interesting. As he explains the different parts of the ship, and introduces his crew along the way, you begin to slowly let yourself be carried through this weird experience. The hand on your waist no longer bothers you, even as it travels towards your hip from time to time. The crew is respectable enough, although the energy feels tense, whenever you're allowed to talk to them. As if everyone knows something that escapes you, some terrifying truth that you're not privy to. It's just a dream though, so you push your worries to the back and lean into the Captain's warm embrace.  

- And now - the Captain leans down to flash you a cheeky grin - pièce de résistance.

He opens the ornate door in front of you with his usual flourish, and you gasp, as you enter the most richly decorated room you've seen in your entire life.

- The Captain's cabin. My cabin. Just like the Royal Palace, isn't it?

You laugh, eyes searching the room in wonder, taking in all the splendor and the treasure. There's a beautiful, black piano standing in the corner in the room, pages upon pages of music sheets thrown around it in disarray. Your eyes skim over the papers filled with black ink. And then, you see it. A gigantic bookcase, climbing the entirety of a wall, from top to bottom, filled with books. Your heart nearly jumps at the sight, and you cross the room with determination.

- Oh, this is just wonderful - you whisper, eyes flowing over the titles, some you recognize, some you don't.

You reach towards one of the books and pull it out with a smile.

- "Much Ado About Nothing" - you announce, and immediately step back, collidig with the bookcase.

You have no idea how the Captain managed to sneak up towards you so quietly, but here he stood, mere inches from you, one arm braced on the bookcase, his long black hair framing his face. His hat was left on top of the piano, and his coat became abandoned as well, leaving him in just a silk black shirt and leather trousers. An interesting combination, worthy of a rockstar.

- Do you enjoy Shakespeare? - he asks in a quiet, casual tone, as if the situation is the most normal it could've been

You swallow hard, regaining your composure, bringing the book closer to your chest, as if to shield yourself from his oppressing aura.

- Not particularly, no - you admit - This is an exception.

The Captain pushes closer, and your eyes start to search a way for potential escape.

- What is it about?

- Oh... it's... - you stammer, the hard cover of the book digging into your chest from how hard you're holding onto it.

His smell invades your senses, swirling in your mind and bringing blush back to your cheeks. Slowly, but surely, you begin to be entranced by this strange, dangerous man. Even the gleaming hook propped right above your head doesn't hold as much power as it used to. It all feels so intimate, nearly suffocating. It makes you wonder. If you're dreaming, what harm could be done, in letting yourself be seduced by this beautiful pirate?

He answers for you, his left hand coming up to brush hair out of your face, silver rings bringing stark, cold contrast to your heated skin.

- It's about two people, who hate each other, but over time discover they're in love.

- Ah, a love story? -  his eyebrows furrow - I was never a fan of those.

You shake your head slightly.

- A love story, in a way yes. Mostly it's just funny. - you try to defend your story - But yes, the romance part is beautiful and witty, it's inspiring, really.

Captain Hook leans down, his hand leaving your face and sliding towards the book. Slowly, he worms his fingers under your hold, pulling the book out of your hands. You stare at him in confusion, as he skims through the pages, eyes jumping over the words with an unreadable expression.

- "Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps." - he reads out loud, and you watch his eyes crinkle, as he shoots you a smile. - Wise words.

You observe with growing anticipation, as he opens his hand. The book slides out, falling to the floor with a thud. Your eyes snap back to him, catching him in the process of staring at your lips.

- “I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me.” - you whisper.

- So cruel - he muses, the ghost of his breath fanning over the side of your neck. - I shan't even suggest "love", my darling "Lady Disdain". I do, however, require payment for guiding you through this ship.

His working hand climbs the expanse of your neck, pushing your head up, enough for you to feel the bookcase behind you. Acting on instinct, your leg travels up, the night gown slipping, exposing your thigh.

- And what would that payment entail? - you ask, your heart thrumming hard against your ribs, like a bird still longing to be freed from the cage.

- A kiss.

Your heated stares meet in the corner of your left eye, where he hovers over your pulse point. Soon, your lips pull back into a crooked smile.

- Just a kiss?

- And whatever more you can give me. - his eyebrows knit together, as he answers with a pout on his lips, a poor attempt at acting innocent.

As if there was ever a time for innocence, on this strange ship sailing through your dreams. So, you arch your back from the bookcase, hand coming up to drag itself along his arm. Meanwhile, your leg hooks itself around his calf, intention clear as day.

- What will I get in return, should I decide to give you more? - you say in a low voice, the huskiness of your tone surprising, but welcomed by the Pirate with open arms.

The cold metal of his hook startles you, as it begins to travel from behind your ear, along the main artery, until it rests between your collar bones.

- You'll become one of my most valued possessions.

At this, you frown with no real malice behind the expression. It is a dream after all. That being said, one of your hands reaches up and behind him, fingers worming their way into his soft hair. It takes one gentle scratching motion to his scalp, and the Captain nearly moans, his knees buckling under your touch. It soon became clear as day he wasn't used to physical contact, or at least, didn't get much of it.

- I'll have you know, I treasure my freedom greatly. - you counter, fingers tangling themselves into his black locks and tugging ever so gently.

- Is that so? - his voice cracks, but he tries to hide it, by dragging his hook down the front of your body, until it catches onto the fabric of your night gown. - So do I. But sometimes, one needs to take some risks, to gain something one wants.

- And what is it, that you want, Captain? - your question dissapears into his mouth, as he finally closes the distance between you.

To his credit, at first he tries to be gentle, to go slow and sensual. But as soon, as you allow him to continue kissing you, all pretense goes out the window. His beard scratches your face, as he presses himself impossibly close to you, tongue slipping past his lips and nearly forcing itself into your mouth. You grant him access with no grace left, sighing loudly, when his teeth drag themselves over your bottom lip, biting hard enough to draw blood. He laps the red liquid like a man dying of thirst, and you start to wonder, perhaps your sleep-deprived mind has conjured a pirate vampire.

Finally, when you think your lungs can't take any second more without air, he pulls back. His eyes scan your face, and his expression turns smug, as he notices the redness around your lips, the way they are swollen from the kiss.

- Right now, I want to take you over this desk there. - he answers your nearly forgotten question, and your heart lurches from your chest.

- What are you waiting for, then? - perhaps, you sound just a little bit desperate, but why should you care, it was just a dream after all, and you were far too turned on to play any more games.

So, you squeal in delight, as his arm sneaks under your thigh, and he hoists you up. Your arms immediately encircle his neck, and as he carries you over to the desk, your mouth begins a journey of exploration of the space under his chin. Your tongue darts out,  licking a long stripe along his pulse, and you begin to worry he'll drop you, from the way his entire  body shivers.

Soon, your ass hits the surface of the desk, rich mahogany carved into many intricate designs, never to be appreciated, because as much as you'd love to explore all the antiques, the man before you looks much more appetizing. God, he's beautiful, as he towers over you in all his glory, hair ruffled and shirt even more undone than before. His eyes bear into you, and from where you're sitting, you start to feel like prey, waiting for the predator to strike. And so, he does, his hooked hand coming up to your gown, and dragging it down. You gasp, as the fabric tears, falling alongside your body in long stripes.

- You'll be the death of me - the Captain mutters, eyes slowly climbing over every inch of your exposed skin.

And then he dives in, like a man starved, and all you can do, is angle your neck to give him better access. There's no need for tenderness, as he all but ravishes your neck with rich kisses, his working hand roaming every inch of your exposed body, still, carefully avoiding the one place you needed it the most. The ,almost, painful pressure between your legs starts to build up, not enough to tip you over the edge, but enough to make you annoyed at the lack of any real friction. So, with a furrowed brow and a desperate pout, your hand finds purchase, tangled in his soft hair. Before long, you pull at the roots. Hard.

His head snaps back, teeth snared at the pain you were suddenly causing him. He gives you a confused expression, and you have to shake yourself from the trance his wild eyes put on you.

- Fuck me already, would you? - you pant out, shame thrown out the window.

You can see his face morph right before your very eyes. From slight confusion, to pure, focused determination. You nearly laugh, as he lets go of you almost imediately, in favor of trying to get his pants untied and off of his body, cursing under his breath, as his hand just can't seem to work fast enough. With an affectionate smile, you pull yourself up, hands coming up to help him, detangling the strings holding his leather pants together. Before you can get a glimpse of what's awaiting you, his hand grabs yours, pushing your body down, to lie on the surface of the desk.

Wooden sculptures dig into your naked skin, but at this point, you can't find any care in the world, because his pants are down, and he watches you with such intensity, one would think you're a science project. You can't trust your words, so you just nod your head,  in response to his silent request for permission. Soon, all thoughts leave your head, as he pushes in, in one, smooth, languid motion, as if savoring every miniscule twitch and twist of your body.

It's obviously been a long time for the both of you. Bodies finding familiarity in almost forgotten rythm, that starts slow, sensual and close. His breathing is shaky. You can feel his chest expand, his heart thrumming against your own. You allow yourself to get used to the feeling of having him inside you, each push and drag melting away at your bones, as your hands find their rightful place, scratching his working shoulder blades.

- C'mon. - you breath after a while of this tender love-making, and as if on cue, his hips snap up.

A squeak dies on your lips, as the Captain leans down to kiss you, his pace becoming faster, hips trying to move deeper. Soon, your whole body jumps on the surface of the desk, as the wood creaks rythmically under the weight of both of your bodies. You have the half-mind to note how sturdy the piece of furniture is, because the way this man above you is going, most of the surfaces in your apartment would've been reduced to splinters by now.

The Captain continues his ministrations, as the both of you grow closer and closer to you finish lines. Your voice slips past your lips as low, guttural groans, the pressure building seemingly with no chance of stopping it. You just need something to tip you over the edge. Pushed by the need for your own release, your right hand leaves the, now covered with sweat, back of the Captain, in favor of slipping between your conjoined bodies. You start rubbing quick circles, something to help you reach your goal, and as your body spasms, your voice grows ever-louder.

The man in front of you nearly trips in his fervor, your moans clearly affecting him. His brows shoot up, towards his hairline, as his hooked hand smashes itself into the surface of the desk. You would've been more alarmed by the violent outburts, if you weren't currently experiencing, what could easily be called one of the best orgasms of your life. Finding purchase in his stuck hook, the Captain resumes his work, going harder now, chasing his own high.

It doesn't take him long, before he topples over, moans and curses spilling freely from his lips, as his whole body weight crushes you. You're too close to being overstimulated, and you whine, as he finally slides out of you, leaving you with a feeling of emptiness, but satisfied nonetheless.

It takes the both of you a while to recover, as you stay for just a moment longer, tangled in eachothers arms, breathing slowly evening out. His head lifts from your chest to look at you, and you push sweat-drenched locks from his flushed cheeks.

He smiles, and for the first time, you can't see any ulterior motive in his expression. It's soft and serene, his eyes glossed over.

- Will the payment be sufficient? - you ask, voice hoarse from all the screaming you've just done.

- Entirely - the man laughs, and you can't help but giggle yourself.

Your body feels heavy with exhaustion. You let your head fall with a thud onto the desk. With half a mind, you note his body weight leaving yours, but there's no energy left in you, to try and look at him. Instead, you choose to close your eyes, the immediate relief of the darkness nearly wrenches a sigh out of you. Blood is pumping through your veins, you can hear it hum in your ears. The desk is slowly getting softer and softer under your body, as if your limbs become accustomed to the wooden surface.

And then, just as you're about to ask for a glass of water, or rum, or whatever the Captain chooses to drink, you smell a familiar scent.

Day's old coffee.

[accio-victuuri]

cpn talk: of camping fans, the number 38 and future concerts.

happy monday to everyone! ^^ what better way to start the week than some clowning. i hope this makes it easier for you to get through the day and rest of the week. nothing too ground breaking, just some good old minor cpns i picked up here and there. enjoy~ and yes i used that gif of gege as clickbait! hahahahaha!

i wanna start with a usual observation, the way they do not clash in terms of project promotions. in the past weeks, WoF was in full swing, and now it’s FPU which will most likely continue till it’s release and the week after that. in the meantime, XZ is on radio silence. you still have the usual ads and stock photos from XZS + some random hot searches but nothing else. i have a feeling that after Bobo’s promotions, XZ will come out for LOCH.

and speaking of XZS posting photos, let me direct you to this one. he is holding a fan again. not the 380 yuan but we’ve seen it before and he is using it during his drama filming right now.

so as the clowns that we are, we had to search for it so we can get the same style. how it’s describe on online markets is: F30 handheld rechargeable small fan mini portable wind power household. carry-on fan for camping. camping? interesting. of course you can use outside of that, but with our cpn of them and camping— this is yet another clue. did the same guy who bought him the 380 yuan fan before, searched up something his beloved can use for camping and beyond? they are so cute! i swear! i’m here for this whole soft era of them loving camping and relaxing!

bonus clowning is that the photoset form XZS was posted 19:30 which was the broadcast time for WoF. and considering it was the finale, maybe this was also ZZ’s gift? we already speculate that he is fond of lai lai so it could be…. 🤷🏻‍♀️

moving on to the number 38, which was a recurring number we have noticed from posts made sunday 4/7. 38 zhan bo. 💕 it could mean nothing but somehow, it got me, especially since yibo used it.

video uploaded by ybo is 01:38 and yibo posted 10:38.

now about the future concert of yibo which i screamed about here & here — whether that’s true or not— us cpfs will of course do what we do best. to clown. so here are some points:

1. some are connecting this concert thing to a previous hs related to xz. it was about him and his company adding services which includes concerts. the actual tag was: #xiaozhanstudio adds new commercial performance license#. of course whatever this is, if yibo does hold a concert, it will be under yuehua but i understand where the clowning is coming from.

this comment was so hilarious tho 😂😂😂😂

2. what if yibo invites guests? that’s usual for solo concerts. so we’ve been day dreaming about him singing bu wang, and why not wuji too? and then invite xiao zhan? imagine that. lol. and solos couldn’t even be angry cause wyb invited him. wouldn’t that be amazing?

3. this part in one of xzs vlogs where gg was in an open area and he “jokingly” said something like “Come to my concert, thank you!”

we may be thinking too much about it but what if. what if gege also plans to have a solo concert some time in the future? i know both of them are so focused on being actors but they also have so much passion for performing.

i’m imagining how they both have a bucket list and one entry there is to have a solo concert. i hope we get to witness that come true ✨

FINALLY, with yibo’s post earlier, we saw him playing tennis. so tennis boyfriends at it again! 🎾

video source

END.

[just-another-author-i-guess]

HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × -

OMG HI!!! THIS IS SOOO LONG AGO BUT I FINISHED IT

a/n: I literally made this like a year ago and just procrastinated to post it... so sorry babes :D

Heisenberg x nb!reader boyfriend hcs:

He’s trying to focus more on just being a reliable partner, WHICH HE IS NOT

He’s the type to leave you alone for like d a y s without telling you cause he has an errand from Miranda and then be confused when you’re really worried about him

Before you, he was used to just coming and going as he pleases, he doesn’t really see why that has to change now, I think

But omg,,, he’d bring back like little trinkets or like scrap metal for you or something

Like, don’t be surprised if he straight up brings part of a human back to you cause he thought it was cool

I feel like, he’d be kinda a bad boyfriend though, ngl

Like, he’s really grumpy, and if he’s mad at Miranda he’s just gonna be mad at you too because big boy does not know how to deal his emotions

He’d probably just expect you to stay in the factory at all times too? And if you complain about it, too bad

He’ll be more than willing to entertain you of course *wink wink*

But only AFTER he’s done working

I’m sorry but he’s putting his plans before you always

He’s so emotionally constipated as well? He cares about you of course

He cares a lot about you, but he literally does not know how to say that besides like random comments every now and again

“Hey. You know, I don’t hate having you ‘round here.” And that’s probably the most poetic Karl Heisenberg is able to be

His affection lies in quality time and sharing his plans with you

Every once in a while, small acts of service (Like I said, the trinkets.)

He’s a rough man, yk, he’s definitely the type to annoy and bully you all the time

(Out of love of course)

He’d blow the smoke from one of those cigars he smokes directly into your face just for fun

If you’re shorter than him your head is an armrest

If you’re taller he’ll never stop complaining about it

“Hey sunshine. How’s the weather up there?” And so on

And he’ll always have that smug little grin

He’ll introduce you to the lycans and then get pissed off when they like you more than him

And you tell him it’s because you’re actually nice to them

He’ll get jealous and complain that you’re not as nice to him as you are to them lmfao

I hope for your sake that you can cook,,, cus Karl is definitely not cooking

Even if he tried, I wouldn’t advise you to try eating it

I don’t care, he does NOT wash his hands

He’s kinda stinky and always smells of motor oil and smoke, sometimes a bit like beef jerky strangely enough

If neither of you can cook, you’ll probably just have to go to the duke and get some microwaveable meals if he has any

Does Karl even have a microwave? I’m not sure actually

Anyways I hope you learn to cook then

Okay but I’ve spend so much time just bashing him,, so here’s some nice things about him

He’s oddly cute when he sleeps, yk? 

For such a big, grumpy man, he looks so relaxed and soft

He’ll even let you fall asleep on top of him, he’s very soft idc

And he likes the bit of pressure on top of him I think

He snores, tho ):

He also always wakes up super early to work, and he’s annoyingly chirpy in the morning

It’s all “Rise and shine, sweetheart!” and “Get the hell up, we have work to do!” 

I don’t know, I think he likes being annoying on purpose

But he’s kinda a sweetheart, so it’s okay lol

I mean, he’s definitely very protective

No way he’s going to let you go to Dimitrescu’s house

Even you just going to the market would freak him out honestly

He kinda doubts that you can handle yourself, ngl

No matter how big and strong you are

That’ll never change, he is obsessed with the idea that he’s your protector and he thinks it’s always on him to keep you safe.

He’ll get legitimately really mad if you get hurt, not only at whoever or whatever hurt you, but also at you

Because it stresses him out and you know he feels bad for you

Would probably also feel personally offended if you got sick lol

edit: pookie bear :D

a/n: sry its only a headcannon, but I really like doing them bc they're not so serious yk??? ok anyways, I actually got a whole ass story for him on ao3 if you're interested but I wrote it like 2 years ago when i was 17-18 so its kindaaaaaa.... anyways im gonna edit it before i post it on here as well ):

[is-this-yuri]

i've been thinking about small talk recently.

i don't like small talk about the weather because, being homeless, the weather is a serious topic for me. it effects me more directly and intensely than other people who have climate controlled homes and workplaces. the way people talk about serious weather like blizzards and tropical storms is how i talk about rain and humidity. there's a disconnect there, and if i were to talk about the weather honestly during a bout of small talk, it could very easily be offputting to my conversation partner, which is counter to the point of small talk.

but that's because i'm homeless. i'm sure we all have personal hangups when it comes to small talk in some way. my example is just an extreme case.

here's the thing tho, i don't like small talk, but i engage in it anyway, because sometimes there can be nice moments where a real connection is made. especially with people i see regularly, like the service workers i interact with. there are people in my life who i know nothing about, not even their name, but at least i know they'll make a great sandwich for me, and i know they'll do their best because they recognize me and they appreciate that i'm nice to them. that's all there is to it.

it's a way to signal that i'm a safe person to talk to, not with the intent to continue into a friendship, but just to put them at ease when they see me, to remove the 'stranger/unknown/potentially scary' tag from over my head.

i saw a reply on a post that said small talk is basically like a dog wagging its tail to signal it's friendly. that can be a good analogy, but i would say it's more like when dogs sniff each others butts. maybe i don't want my butt sniffed today so i put my tail down and walk away. that's perfectly fine too. not everyone wants their butt sniffed.

i've learned that being fully honest and authentic during small talk with people you're not nessecarily going to be friends with isn't actually needed. i've learned not to really lie, but to give the bare minimum needed to get through the interaction. if they say 'i'm so glad it's finally raining, the plants really needed it' i wouldn't say 'actually i hate rain because i'm homeless.' i could just say 'eh, rain isnt my thing. good for the plants, though.'

it's important to be polite and considerate in public, and small talk is a very good skill to have and a lot less scary/difficult than some people make it out to be. granted, it took me 27 years to get to this point, but it's possible.

that said, i think some people make too big of a deal about small talk and connecting with strangers. it's just not that big of a deal. some people have bad days and go to the store with a scowl on their face and they ignore the cashier because they're just getting through the day. that's fine. it's fine if every day is like that for you (and as the cashier it's fine to think of them as a sad grumpypants, but not to be mean about it). maybe you just don't want your butt sniffed today for whatever reason. you're not causing physical harm to anyone by being a little grumpy or closed off, and simply not caring to make a connection of any kind with strangers is also fine. we don't all need to strive to be friendly all the time, but the benefits of it are there if we ever want them.

[annefolklore]

Soft Gwinam x Reader headcanons

Warning: NSFW content

—————————

He was confused and scared at first about his feelings about you.

He didn’t believe you when you said that you like him back, but felt relieved.

Everyone knows about his reputation and he’s certain that you’re gonna leave him, so he enjoys every eye-contacts, dates, discussions and physical contact between you before you see you deserve better.

He tries not to get involved too much in physical fights anymore, but somehow they always find their way toward him and of course he’ll fight back. After fighting, he would look for you, so you could help him with his sores and wounds.

He’s kind of awkward on dates because he doesn’t know how to act, but he try his best to be at least a bit romantic for you.

Gwinam definitely has a soft spot for you and think that he’s great at hiding it.

The corners of his lips always slightly turn up, the second he sees you and you manage to catch them most of the time, before they go back to their neutral expression.

He’s kind of rich but no too rich yk?

Possessive

EXTREMELY POSSESSIVE

Did I mention that he’s possessive asf?🧍🏾‍♀️

He’s a munch, you literally have to push him away every time, because this man forget that overstimulation is a thing. He even made you squirt one time.

Choking kink…

“I don’f feel like going to school today, can you skip the day with me” he’s always saying. “You never feel like it Gwinam and no I’m not skipping and neither you do”

He loves hearing you saying his name, he loves it more when you’re moaning it tho.

His love language is act of service, giving gifts.

I just know this guy LOVES thighs. Thin? Big? He doesn’t gaf. When y’all are sitting next to each other, he wouldn’t hesitate to put his hand on you and grip you, but would make sure that he has your consent. I think this would be pretty much the physical thing he do, since it’s not one of his love language.

If you like physical touch or wants to cuddle with him, even tho he’s not used to all that affection and kinda get tensed when you don’t warn him before suddenly hugging him, he would simply give you what you needed.

I think he would like skateboarding. I can easily imagine him in a skatepark with his friends/other bullies.

——————-

BONUS

I was standing under my umbrella, in front of my boyfriend and I's favorite restaurant, waiting for him. It was our five months anniversary and we decided to go at the same place our first date was.

However, Gwinam was late. Usually he’s never late when it’s to see me. I just hope he didn’t got in trouble, on his way here. I already tried calling him multiple times, but you always landed on his voicemail.

Few minutes passed, before I see a tall figure jogging towards me. I squint my eyes and recognized my boyfriend’s face. His lower lip had a split with some blood on it and had a bruise on his left cheekbone.

“Where were you? I was worried!” I say when he got in front of you.

“An asshole tried to fight me, so I fought back” he answered.

- You said you would avoid fights!

- Yeah, but what did you wanted me to do? Let him beat me up?

“No but-“ I started before he interrupted me. “Y/N, I don’t want us to have an argument today. Could we talk about that topic another time? I want us to be happy and to celebrate for the moment.”

I agreed and we entered the restaurant. We got a few looks because of Gwinam’s face, buf we ignored them and got a seat. Since he and I started dating and more and more people who knew increased, we got a lot of judgful looks. The other students at school would make comments like “ I never saw that coming” or “How can someone as sweet as Y/N can be with a bully like him?”. I didn’t and still don’t care though. I would be lying if I said I never asked myself how could I love him, but every moment I passed with him reminded me why.

We settled down and sat down at the table. I looked in my purse and took out a small first-aid kit. It's a habit I've taken since Gwinam and I formalized our relationship, since he’s always getting into fights I would always bring a kit with me. After taking care of his wounds, I turned my head to the left to look at him, but he was already looking at me. He put his hand on my left thigh and I gave him a small smile before he said “I bought this for you”. He looked in his backpack and when he pulled out his right hand, a red rose was in it.

- I didn’t want it to be all ruined by the rain so I put it in my backpack, but now it’s a bit bent and faded… he said with a semi-neutral semi-sad look.

- It’s okay, thanks love, I say with a smile on my face, before leaning in to kiss his right cheek.

“ I told you to stop calling me that” his grumpy voice said while he tried not to smile, rolling his eyes of fake annoyance. “Shut up, I know you like it” I answered.

He putted his hand on my thigh and we went through the menu to decide what to eat. The waiter came by a few minutes later.

The evening passed wonderfully. We laughed, smiled, hold each others hands, talked ect. “I almost forgot”, I say before going in my purse and took out a box. The corners of Gwinam’s lips went up for a few seconds as he opened the gift and his eyes went wide when he saw what it was.

- Y/N, that must’ve been so expensive, he says and takes the 2 VIP concerts tickets. You know I don’t like you wasting too much money on me.

- What do you mean wasting? Gwinam, I told you multiple times that we are gonna last, stop thinking that I’ll leave you. It’s not a waste.

- Okay, I’ll stop.

He slightly smiled and gently squeezed my left thigh. “Thank you” I heard him whisper under his breath. “I have another gift for you” he suddenly says before going again through his back pack. He pulled out a small box and I opened it to reveal a necklace made of gold with a matching bracelet. “Gwinam… I don’t know what to say”

- Then don’t say anything, he says while looking at me. Come closer, I’ll help you to put it on.

I did as he says and turned around and pulled up my hair with my hand so he could have full access to my neck. He clipped the two corners of the necklace together and I went back to facing him. He then took my wrist and carefully put the bracelet on, for me. I saw a bit of hesitation in his eyes, before he slowly brought my hand to his lips and awkwardly kissed it.

I gently cupped his cheeks and leaned in to lock our lips together and I felt him smiling through our kiss.

Gosh, I love this man so much.

————

I hope you guys liked my headcanons/bonus! English is my third language so I’m sorry if there are some errors in the text .

[bergoose]

i said this in discord but i think it's important to put here

there was no usability research done for this, at least from what i can see

like absolutely no interest checks were done at all or else I feel like they would have realized this is not feasible or at least the way they did it wasn't

none of the paterons mods knew, barely any fans knew (also there was a leak which makes a little worried for their website security)

what i think they needed was some user research before they did the launch. because all the feedback, the critism, the hate (yes even the hate) is the kinda of feedback that would SHOULD have been given BEFORE. during the production stages not NOW after the launch. it would have made everything a lot smoother for them

(by feedback i mean things like: users are interested in different tiers, users are think the price doesn't justify how much product they're getting with the service, users are confused due to misinformation, etc.)

and like testing and interest checks stuff like this would have been essential to make this launch have a better reaction from the fan base

more UX stuff below the cut but

TL:DR Watcher hire a UX designer please this would have solved all your problems OR JUST DO SOME USER TESTING NEXT TIME JESUS

my biggest thing is there's a lot of companies (big and small) that tend to make these types of big changes (whether it's to better their product, bring in more people, appeal to a new demographic, whatever their goal may be) but in the process they forget their core userbase (in this case Watcher's current audience) which are arguably the most important group to factor in company decisions bc they're the ones that are going to stay long term

idk if I'm making any sense but i hate seeing this trend of what's basically just picking up other companies "trending feature" (for example tiktok becoming popular and all other platforms adopting short form video content, Instagram/Snapchat stories becoming popular and other social media like WhatsApp and Twitter tried it too) only for the feature that originally made them appeally in the first place to fall to the wayside

and the ones who jumped on the trend aren't guaranteed to stay, and now you've lost your loyal userbase

and even tho Watcher didn't do exactly that it still kinda feels like they did u know? I'm certain (and hopeful) this will work out but the execution was just absolutely not it at all, and i wish there was more research done because it helped so much and they wouldn't be bombarded the way they were now

i get it this was something that may have been a long time coming but it is clear that it wasn't ready, both the product and your userbase. also the method of dropping was also absolutely not it

(also i am critiquing it because i want to buy it, i am fortunate enough to be in the position to do so but i won't forever and i know many who also can't and are understandably upset about it)

[pxgeturner]

Hello honey honey, can I request a sfw alphabet with Tsu’tey? 🎶

hiii sweetheart, here ya go 😚 order up

Affection – how are they with PDA?

— he’d say he does not like pda, save that for the moments you have alone. but at the same time he’s glued to your side, tail wrapped around your wrist, or leg. hissing and growling at any guy who comes near u.

Beauty – what part of you do they find to be their favorite?

— he’s kind of fascinated with your pinkies. the extra finger is so small and cute.

Cuddles – are they a good cuddler?

— it’s kind of awkward tbh. takes a lot of trial and error before you get into the groove of things

Domestitcy – do they want to settle down?

— naturally. na’vi mate for life and tsu’tey does not play around.

Ending – how would they break up with you?

— he’d just start to avoid u, to be honest. he’s gonna be a little cowardly when u finally ask him wtf is up. But he gets over it and tells u it’s over. this would only happen w a human!r sorry not sorry he would be like “you humans do not typically mate for life so then why should I be tied to you for the rest of my life you pathetic tawtute.” but then again he’s v, v, vvvvv loyal so I don’t rlly see that happening.

Future – where do they see your relationship going?

— it’s all or nothing for him.and he’s giving u his all.

Gentle – how gentle are they?

— with a na’vi mate-- he would feel incredibly unafraid, of course that doesn’t mean he would be callous. He just doesn’t need to treat them like glass. w a human mate tho mmm yeah ur staying at home unless he can be w u.

Hugs – what are their hugs like?

— he’s warm and strong. you feel like nothing bad can touch you while you’re in his arms.

In tune – how well can they read you?

— honestly, it feels like he knows things going on with you before you do.

Jealousy – what are they like when they get jealous?

— hissing, growling, scratching. the other person pinned to the ground with a knife to their throat

Kisses – are they a good kisser?

— man cannot be bad at anything.

Love language – what’s their love language?

— act’s of service and gift giving is easiest for him. it’s the most sensible way to show care to your mate. also quality time.

Memories – their favorite memory with you?

— giving you the mating present he made you and you saying yessss. and then ofc going to seal your bond w eywa as ur witness ofc.

Nicknames – what nicknames are used between you two?

— in true giant fashion, he often calls you tiny. But to him you are also: precious, mate, my heart, u get the gist. — u call him big guy, tsu, mr. serious, tey,

Open – how open with their emotions are they

— not very. it takes him a while to get comfy. and even then he tries not to mention anything he doesn’t feel is “necessary”.

Patience – are they a hot head?

— he gets frustrated easily, but it comes from a place of caring

Quality time – how much time do they spend with you?

— whenever he’s not hunting or helping another member of the clan, he’s right by your side.

Xenos – what’s something strange about them?

— pfft i just thought of the most out of pocket thing he would do. he deffo would like. collect loose hairs to like weave into projects he’s making for u. to like. make it more unique n personalized. bhahahaha. it wouldn’t be completely out of ur hair it would just be like a couple. not noticeable at all. But they’re there

Yuck – what’s what of their icks?

— unseasoned food and being unhygienic.

Zzz – what are their sleeping habits?

— goes to sleep early, wakes up early. but gets back in bed after going out to prepare a breakfast for you.

[tomwaterbabies]

I hope the surgery went well and recovery goes smoothly!!! You asked for asks and I saw you have some robo Varian art that's been eating my brain for a few days now. I guess not technically a question but I'd love to hear more about that au if you wanna ramble 👉👈

HEYYY thank you so much! it went really well and the pain is super minimal rn, i can even sit up on my desk! which was recommended by my surgeon to do anyway so thats rad

ANYWAYSSSSS... THANK YOU for the kind words im so glad you like it!! and THANK YOU for reminding me of the fact i never posted about my robot au like i had meant to 💀

here it is NOW (and to anyone who hasnt seen the art here it be)

this is long as hell btw. so sorry

SO. setting i imagine is similar to typical vat7k BUT a little darker and more dystopian. think steampunk industrial stuff... which i know hugo's kingdom is already like lol but just imagine it like. in a lot more places. this is basically a "steampunk" au too

robots are VERY common. invented by a group of scientists with the main ones being donella and ulla

robots are used as service etc etc. theyre not sentient at all so this isnt like. some unethical practice

but ulla and donella are OBSESSED with making them more and more advanced, theyre besties and all that. but ulla is Particularly obsessed with making the Perfect Robot

we know that ulla is kind of messed up in the head. in this au she kind of messes way too much with robot sentience WHILE ALSO getting obsessed with the eternal library. same stuff happens eventually. donella and ulla fight about the eternal library etc etc

BUT ALSO... ulla is working on her Magnum Opus. a son for her and her husband, who she is making to be the perfect robot. quirin is unaware of the shit shes doing and fully trusts her and supports this passion project

and well! she does make the first Sentient Robot. with the use of science and Magical Knowledge she was able to basically give life force through magical means into the robot. The robot of course she named varian. and not only is he sentient, but he looks completely human

she did some messed up stuff tho! again! she's programmed him with fake memories so he thinks he has lived a life fully as a human. he's also programmed to not notice things like the small seams on his body and all that. like his code just immediately disregards all that

anywaysss. after ulla disappears, quirin is dedicated to taking care of varian. he figures it's best to follow with ulla's choice of making sure varian doesnt know hes a robot

MEANWHILE ! because of the schism between ulla and donella, there was some wack shit that happened. namely robots going completely crazy. now all robots are Murder Robots. so the world is pretty Dystopian at the moment

Varian decides he wants to go out and find the source of what made the robots go crazy. bc this sucks lol. like everyone is Just Miserable

so he meets his friends. nuru, yong, hugo!

LETS TALK ABOUT HUGO

hugo works for donella. hugo also absolutely HATES robots. the robots have been messing shit up since he was a kiddo

he's kind of like a robot hunter. harvesting them for parts as well as getting rid of them bc theyre dangerous. usually donella directs him to different missions. and now shes telling him to join this guy (varian) bc she wants the secrets that ulla had hidden and varian is sure as hell after them

sooooo at one point. varian gets hurt maybe, or interacts with something that breaks the code in him or whatever. the code that stops him from noticing his robotic qualities. i think he probably would get super injured and like. he and all his friends stare in shock and horror as some sort of gash or sparks or whatever show a metallic inside

they all find out he's a robot together weeeee. no one is having a good time

so he's living with existential crisis. he's away from his dad so he cant travel all the way back to be like hey What The Fuck. AND he's still dedicated to his goal. but now he's just. confused, scared, and unsure if he's worthy of his humanity that he thought he had

they all try to work with this new discovery (which i think would happen earlier on rather than way later). hugo especially is like. having a crisis. bc he's always hated robots and for good reason. but varian... varian is SO human. he thinks, he feels, he cares, etc. he's more Human than a lot of the Flesh and Blood people he's been around

so you know, hugo starts to fall in love with him anyway. lots of excellent scenes of him helping varian with his mechanics, etc

and of course varian starts falling in love with him too, but is dealing with a lot of confusion as well. like is he even real, doesnt hugo deserve to be loved by a Human and not a Robot, etc etc

ok jesus christ. i think thats all the main stuff. woaghghg

[intynidad]

yandere oc

Isaac the customer 

it was a quiet evening that day, the cafe you worked at was in a slow period and you were enjoying yourself listening to music behind the counter.

That's until the bell indicates the appearance of a new customer. you sadly put your headphones away and prepare yourself to go into your Costumer-service mood.

“hi, and welcome to the magnolia cafe. what can I get started for you?”

“ill take my usual, Y/N.”

“oh! sorry, Isaac I didn't notice it was you, so a black coffee with sugar and a cinnamon roll?”

I want you

“yeah, just make sure the cinnamon roll is not you, I don't know if I can handle all that sweetness” 

omg, that was so cringe why did I say that now they'll hate me I'm so stupid i-

“pff you are so silly, give me a minute and ill get back to you!”

of course, Isaac knew that it was a slow time

of fucking course he knew you were all alone in the cafe and it would be the perfect moment to strike up a conversation

he would be a fool if he didn't know, mainly because he has been watching you through the abandoned building a block away with his telescope 

you were just so pretty and so smart and he loves how you smell and how he wishes he could kiss youandholdyouclosebuthellprobablydieifhedoesthatomgtheyhopetheyarenotdroolingbutofcoursetheywoulddrollforyoulikehaveyouseenyourself-

“aac?”

huh?

“you got lost in your thought for a second there, haha”

“oh, umm yeah sorry about that. just a lot of work and I lost myself for a second”  lost thinking about you “what did you just say?”

“I said, here is your order”

“ oh yea thanks, sugar cube” I'm literally so cringe I wanna die

“Anything for my best customer,” you said giving him a small wink

oh how he adores you 

he remembers the first time he meet you. he was cold and shivering. a storm had broken up out of nowhere and he was fucking soaking.

he had taken shelter under the entrance of a small building. but before he could continue to curse his luck. the voice of a literal angel broke his thoughts

“my god! are you ok?”

he looks.

one blink

two blinks

three blinks

“Sir, are you ok?”

four blinks

“Please come inside, you'll freeze if you stay in the rain”

is he dreaming?

and then you take him by the arm and offer him a cup of coffee and a warm cinnamon roll.

is this what they call love at first sight?

a few days later Isaac comes back

and again

and again

and again

and again

and again

he becomes a regular. ordering the same thing you gave him the day your souls crossed paths 

if he wasn't so much of a coward he would ask you out 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The customer

Name: Isaac Barlowe

Age: 26 

Pronouns: He/they

Personality: an emotionless businessman that was bored of life until he meets his darling. life still sucks but not when he is with you 

Backstory: a man that works in the chemistry field. they got stuck into an endless cycle of monotony and boredom that made them uninterested in life and other people in general. That's until he meets you and you give him color to his life. he slowly starts to circle into more obsessive thoughts about you, since you are the only thing that makes him feel alive.

he realizes at some point that what he is doing is not healthy.

he doesn't like to call himself a stalker (he totally is). he is just so enamored with you that he H A S to see every beautiful movement you make. how can you be so breathtaking without trying 

Trivia: 

he actually doesn't like coffee

he is 6’2 ft

he has thought to use his knowledge in chemistry to drug that customer that is way too clingy for his liking. but then he remembers that you might get in trouble if somebody gets sick by eating on your cafe 

he has freckles (a little insecure about them tho)

[ax-killjoy]

☆ Pretty Boy

Synopsis 𖦹 : gen lo’ak hcs !! (* ॑꒳ ॑*)

Notes 𖦹 : i’ve been really loving Lo’ak angst recently. might see that in the near future hehe >:] Also it’s like 3am so enjoy.

Lo’ak has so much curiosity. He loves to wander, stare into the universe and think about what could happen, and how. Curiosity is almost built into his big lime green eyes, always searching for more.

Lo’ak is a lot more talkative, though still introverted like his older brother. He definitely could talk enough for both him and his brother.

Lo’ak holds onto things, whether that be memories or trinkets. He’ll find small things that remind him of an event, he’ll keep it in a box and hide it away forever. Only looking at it when he feels nostalgic.

Lo’ak doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. Comes with talking alot, and it’s not intentional either ! sometimes he’ll just say something and he realizes that it’s alot more serious than he thought.

Is not the best at braiding hair, but is weirdly really good at shaving his head and other’s heads. He’s very precise and quiet, he finds it peaceful to shave the sides of his head. He sits by the ocean, and quietly shaves off the small growing hairs.

Lo’ak first piece of media that came from Earth was music, but also the movie Top Gun, and the movie after that Top Gun Maverick. Lo’ak knew that his father was in some type of military, he knew that his dad was a marine. Whatever that meant, but watching it, and seeing how movies became better and better over time made him question a lot.

Jake was never one to talk about his life on Earth, but one day as Lo’ak watched Top Gun in the Lab, his father sat by his side watching. “I loved that movie, and the second one.” Jake said softly, moving to side hug Lo’ak and press a soft kiss on his forehead. Lo’ak will never forget that moment.

The first song he listened to, was Party and Bullshit by The Notorious B.I.G. He remember walking into the lab and listening to it as he walked in, he remember seeing his dad sit with Max and bob is head singing “And party ! and Bullshit !!” Ever since then, Lo’ak strived to find music like that.

Is really bad at cooking, like is really bad. He remember specifically Neteyam staring down at him, hands on his hips, tail flicking side to side with irritation. “How do you possibly manage Baby bro ??” Neteyam huffs, and Lo’ak shrugs. “No seriously- how did you manage to not burn the vegetables but you burnt the pot Lo’ak.”

Things he is the best flirt in the world, but actually isn’t. But he has this weird clumsy reckless charm to him, his humor is one of his best traits tho.

He likes asking questions, he grew up with a family that encouraged asking questions. Sometimes, even when Spider and Kiri are running around the forest. He’ll just sit and ask Norm questions, about earth, why he came here, about his dad.

Will never say it out loud, but he loves when his brother scolds him, or reassures him. Knowing that his brother is always there for him, making sure he’s alright just brings a warmth to his heart.

Will stay up at night talking with Kiri, about random things. Sometimes to comfort her, sometimes for Kiri to comfort him. And they will just talk aimlessly about stupid things. Sometimes they’ll catch Neteyam coming back from his late night rides with his Ikran.

Whenever he has a crush, he just never knows what to do with himself like it’s almost sad. He’s the type of try and confront his crush, only to trip and fall on several different things before doing so. His big doe eyes hold everything, and he isn’t really secretive either.

He likes to gift give, and acts of service. He likes to help whenever he can, and to make small bracelets for his crushes. It’ll be weird too, like they’ll just suddenly pop up, but you know it’s from Lo’ak.

[toastthewolfie]

its done

silly. Silly guy. Silly man. Silly sopping wet golden retriever. Filled with soup and anxiety. (dont worry. They will eventually come out as it does reach a point where the closet is fucking glass)

His name’s Issac Giselle, his callsign is Coyote :D

info from @/olibird’s template under the cut :)

Name: Isabella (Issac) Giselle 

Aliases: Coyote and 10-19

Nationality: American       Ethnicity: Latina (I am unsure how to represent this, so it will probbaly not be very prevalent. Sorry D:)

Age:  23              DoB: (M/D/Y) 6/15/2001

Pronouns: Uses She/Her but prefers he/they Gender: transman (Closeted)            Sex: Female

Sexuality: Questioning

Height: 5’2

Languages: English, Spanish (Mexican)

Which CoD Universe: the Modern Warfare Reboot timeline

Branches of Service: N/A

Affiliation:  (Former) Mercenary for unnamed Company, Shadow Company

Specialties: Demolition. Fights extremely fast and relies heavily overwhelming the enemy but can easily be overpowered if the enemy has more experience than him.

Personality: sad golden retriever boy who’s a doormat.

Backstory: 

Was one of many adultified children after his parents moved from Mexico to the States. Mother was busy, father was unable to work due to health and visa issues and was practically a vegetable so basically he had to raise his little sister (who’s 4 years younger than him). Was kicked out at 19 for expressing the desire to be a man, stumbled into a man (who will remain unnamed until further notice) and joined an unnamed Mercenary Company (they explicitly chose to remain unnamed. It, quote, allowed “less strings to be attached or followed”. Most just refer to it as ‘The Company’). 

Met Phillip Graves during a random mission when he was 21, they exchanged information (rather, Graves was interested in their abilities and forced them to exchange information (doesn’t help that Issac’s a doormat’ so he could contact him later). After a bit of discussion, he made the decision to join Shadow Company and leave ‘The Company’. Everyone there was extremely against it but what was done was done (even if he started to heavily regret it) and he’s been here ever since.

Issues: extremely touch starved, very big doormat, extremely likely to hold back any form of tears (even if caused by pain) as he believes that emotions like that are messy and will cause unnecessary distress (where he grew up and worked, pain was seen as weakness or caused distress, and those are two things he wants to avoid).

Habits: holds self very tightly, as if trying to take up very little space. Stretches when bored.

Scars: large, jagged scars on face, hands, and most of his forearms and legs.

Preferred method of showing care/affection/love language: Any. My guy will literally take sword fighting and turn it into a sign of affection 😭 (edited bc i wrote this at like 12 and forgot this was SHOWING and not RECIEVING)

Preferred way of receiving care/affection: Physical touch

Eye Color: amber

Hair description: cut just above the neck and very flowy, its a dark reddish brown (not chestnut, just a slightly redder brown)

Clothing description:

Combat: fairly standard combat gear in black and varying shades of grey with a balaclava only cut around the eyes

Casual: a green hoodie with two slightly darker patches on the right arm that read ‘Giselle’ and ‘10-19’ respectively. Grey leggings and green shoes.

Body description: skinny. They aren’t very muscular and act more as a scout.

Favorite Activities: observing. He writes down little notes in a small brown-leather notebook about everyone he’s around for more than half a day.

Blood Type: O+

Favorite color: Platinum

Favorite animal: dogs (german shepherds specifically)

Favorite food/Dessert: they like mango slushies :)

Other Fun Facts:

allergic to Grandpa and his children D: (they try to hide it tho and wear a mask around him to prevent sneezing)

He’s also allergic to cacao (it’s not a bad allergy, just kinda itchy mouth and stuff)

He and Selena are frenemies. Selena has kinda taken Issac under her wing but since she HATES doormats, she’s trying to teach him to standup for himself (but he usually almost starts crying because he thinks Selena is upset at him leading to a very awkward comfort session).

Selena was probably the first person he approached first, as he was VERY interested in her previous work with MWDs (and potentially her adopted German Shepherd named Skye who was a former MWD that she trained)

people have assume they’re a dude, and despite being in the closet, they dont bother to correct people (it feels nice, being called what you want to. Most people just assume he doesn’t care lol)