#heisenberg headcannons

[just-another-author-i-guess]

HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × NON BINARY READER HEISENBERG × -

OMG HI!!! THIS IS SOOO LONG AGO BUT I FINISHED IT

a/n: I literally made this like a year ago and just procrastinated to post it... so sorry babes :D

Heisenberg x nb!reader boyfriend hcs:

He’s trying to focus more on just being a reliable partner, WHICH HE IS NOT

He’s the type to leave you alone for like d a y s without telling you cause he has an errand from Miranda and then be confused when you’re really worried about him

Before you, he was used to just coming and going as he pleases, he doesn’t really see why that has to change now, I think

But omg,,, he’d bring back like little trinkets or like scrap metal for you or something

Like, don’t be surprised if he straight up brings part of a human back to you cause he thought it was cool

I feel like, he’d be kinda a bad boyfriend though, ngl

Like, he’s really grumpy, and if he’s mad at Miranda he’s just gonna be mad at you too because big boy does not know how to deal his emotions

He’d probably just expect you to stay in the factory at all times too? And if you complain about it, too bad

He’ll be more than willing to entertain you of course *wink wink*

But only AFTER he’s done working

I’m sorry but he’s putting his plans before you always

He’s so emotionally constipated as well? He cares about you of course

He cares a lot about you, but he literally does not know how to say that besides like random comments every now and again

“Hey. You know, I don’t hate having you ‘round here.” And that’s probably the most poetic Karl Heisenberg is able to be

His affection lies in quality time and sharing his plans with you

Every once in a while, small acts of service (Like I said, the trinkets.)

He’s a rough man, yk, he’s definitely the type to annoy and bully you all the time

(Out of love of course)

He’d blow the smoke from one of those cigars he smokes directly into your face just for fun

If you’re shorter than him your head is an armrest

If you’re taller he’ll never stop complaining about it

“Hey sunshine. How’s the weather up there?” And so on

And he’ll always have that smug little grin

He’ll introduce you to the lycans and then get pissed off when they like you more than him

And you tell him it’s because you’re actually nice to them

He’ll get jealous and complain that you’re not as nice to him as you are to them lmfao

I hope for your sake that you can cook,,, cus Karl is definitely not cooking

Even if he tried, I wouldn’t advise you to try eating it

I don’t care, he does NOT wash his hands

He’s kinda stinky and always smells of motor oil and smoke, sometimes a bit like beef jerky strangely enough

If neither of you can cook, you’ll probably just have to go to the duke and get some microwaveable meals if he has any

Does Karl even have a microwave? I’m not sure actually

Anyways I hope you learn to cook then

Okay but I’ve spend so much time just bashing him,, so here’s some nice things about him

He’s oddly cute when he sleeps, yk? 

For such a big, grumpy man, he looks so relaxed and soft

He’ll even let you fall asleep on top of him, he’s very soft idc

And he likes the bit of pressure on top of him I think

He snores, tho ):

He also always wakes up super early to work, and he’s annoyingly chirpy in the morning

It’s all “Rise and shine, sweetheart!” and “Get the hell up, we have work to do!” 

I don’t know, I think he likes being annoying on purpose

But he’s kinda a sweetheart, so it’s okay lol

I mean, he’s definitely very protective

No way he’s going to let you go to Dimitrescu’s house

Even you just going to the market would freak him out honestly

He kinda doubts that you can handle yourself, ngl

No matter how big and strong you are

That’ll never change, he is obsessed with the idea that he’s your protector and he thinks it’s always on him to keep you safe.

He’ll get legitimately really mad if you get hurt, not only at whoever or whatever hurt you, but also at you

Because it stresses him out and you know he feels bad for you

Would probably also feel personally offended if you got sick lol

edit: pookie bear :D

a/n: sry its only a headcannon, but I really like doing them bc they're not so serious yk??? ok anyways, I actually got a whole ass story for him on ao3 if you're interested but I wrote it like 2 years ago when i was 17-18 so its kindaaaaaa.... anyways im gonna edit it before i post it on here as well ):

[mechanikall]

inspired in a fic that i just recently read :3

[thatone-artsykid]

This is your sign to draw yourself taking a nap with your fav comfort character NOW!🫵

[wolforya]

I was just minding my business when I got reminded that the Character Headcanon Generator exists and of course I had to insert Karl. The results are… more than fitting ngl

(He has another secret room with a replica of his pinboard solely for his secret passion.)

Let’s be honest; he’s giving feral possum vibes.

Kinda?

We can all agree on that one.

[kittypup12]

Incredibly stupid headcannon dump of things I think Heisenberg would be OBSESSED with in the modern world

• Bobble heads?? He'd have really tacky ones on his dashboard. Def one of those hula skirt ladies

• Those electric globe things. He'd try to make a gigantic one in your living room

• Thinks they're stupid at first but after getting his hands on one, an air fryer. Nothing is safe from his sick 'can you fry it?' fantasies

• Any theme park, fair, ect. I think his favorite would be the bumper cars and takes it way too seriously of course

• Legos ohmygodholyshit LEGOS. He would create his own little God forsaken builds and probably collect HUNDREDS of sets

• If he ever figures out how tf to use any type of console or PC, you know he'll get into minecraft. I'm stuck between him being a master builder and making some of the most elaborate shit you've ever seen, or can't do fuck all besides wanting to mine infinitely and kill everything lol

Home Depot is his safe space. Is there so often, they probably give him some little "customer of the year" reward or some shit

• Feel like he'd LOVE taking pictures tbh?? He obviously had a knack for... documenting this, so I think give him an old Polaroid and he'd have a BLAST taking pictures of everything. His phone is full of video and pictures. ((He is a total Pintrest girlie, but will deny it))

• He'd be embarrassed about it but loves playgrounds and parks. The closest thing he probably ever had to a playground is a tetnus ridden junkyard, so imagine going for a walk in the park together and coming across one. Maybe it's late, so you decide to hop on the swings together and talk until the street lamps come on 🥺

Okay, but here's modern shit that would just.. blow his mind and not always in a good way, lol

• Modern dogs. Saw this video that showed the difference between common dog breeds from 100 years ago and holy shit.. I love the idea of him seeing, like, a chihuahua or some kind of terrier for the first time and thinking, "What in the fresh hell is THAT???" Terrifying

• That being said, he would be *obsessed* with dogs with prosthetics or wheelchairs. "ITS A DOG ON WHEELS, WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE??"

• Feel like he'd LOVE taking pictures tbh?? He obviously had a knack for... documenting this, so I think give him an old Polaroid and he'd have a BLAST taking pictures of everything. His phone is full of video and pictures. ((He is a total Pintrest girlie, but will deny it))

• Fuckin LOVES zoos and aquariums. Unfortunately, it's probably been a century since he's last gone to one

• "Oh man I am so excited to go to the zoo! I haven't been since I was a kid. Boy, I sure do hope they have my favorite, the Tasmania Tiger. Sure am glad they're still alive. :)" 😬😬😬

• I think he'd be low key terrified of birds?? Obviously paranoid due to them being a source of surveillance in his life.. but the thought of him being afraid of seagulls or pigeons is very funny. Saw the movie 'The Birds'and has never been the same since. Don't get him started on barn owls

• Him finding the internet is worth an entire post of its own, but very first thought is just.. he would ABSOLUTELY need to be supervised for a whiiiiile lol. Man is already unstable enough as it is. Please do not let him find out how to make at home uranium on reddit or something. I'm talking about a thorough conversation on internet safety and AT LEAST parental locks for social media. Baby steps. He is going to be an absolute ipad baby

[delightfulcrasher]

An idea I like thinking about is because the guest is the only human in the castle (minus the servents) their the only one able to produce their own body heat.

That’s a very cool idea! It does make sense logically, since all of Miranda’s creations are made of mould instead of ooey gooey guts like us humans. Although the Dimitrescu brothers don’t need temperature to survive (Unless it’s freezing) it’s fun to think what would happen if the guest was the only one to produce their own heat. 

I don’t think it would ever get too cold in the castle, the walls are too thick and a fire is always lit to resemble a homely comfort. Sometimes the servants have to bundle up for warmth, but that’s mostly because of their lacklustre living quarters. 

The Dimitrescu family can feel heat, sure, but they don’t produce it. When body temperature isn’t one of the vital things keeping you alive, sometimes you forget it’s a necessity. For the first few times they placed a hand on the guest they were gently reminded of that fact.

I feel like the reader would become a personal heated blanket for the brothers. They enjoy having something they can smuggle up with that won’t turn tail and run at the best opportunity. I feel like they would enjoy resting against their chest listening to the thumping beat of their heart. They find comfort in the rhymical sound, and excitement when the pace quickens. 

The Lord feels the same. It is not often he thinks back to before all of this, but there are some human qualities that are sorely missed. The warmth of another is one of those lost comforts. Maybe he gives them a few more fleeting touches, lingering holds, and more excuses to be close to them. 

It’s cute, it’s warm, and just so Human.

[theirmajesty2139]

What headcanons would you have for the RE8 Lords finding out that their S/O was an artist/had artistic capabilities? I think Donna and Angie, and Heisenburg would probably be the most interested but how Alcina and Moreau feel?

Re8 Lords and their artist s/o

Lady Dimitrescu

Is actually the most into it. She values all kinds of high art and culture and is very excited that you have a hobby she deems acceptable. Would provide a room in her castle for painting and would always be the first to frame your works of art

Karl Heisenberg

Can sketch a little himself and likes to do these very rough scribbles at the corners of your paper. Is happy to let you make a mess of his factory with your art supplies and enjoys parallel play where the two of you do your hobbies alongside each other for hours.

Donna Beneviento

Prefers craft to any messy kind of art. She likes to sit in her rocking chair and sew her quilts while you craft. If she doesn't feel like sewing she'll hum or play the piano for you. She isn't much of a talker but likes to listen to you talk about what you're making.

Salvatore Moreau

Stays back when he knows you’re concentrating because he’s worried he’d ruin your hard work with his clumsiness. If you take the time to engage him he will take part though, likes to paint abstract with his hands. Will flick paint at you and make a mess to make you smile.

The duke

Provides all your equipment and will let you sit on his lap as you draw. Will tell you about all the artists he’s met on his travels. Encourages you to pursue fine art and sell your works. Will make little jokes about modelling for you

[grannanna]

I- do I have to do more now?

[marsinthecorner]

A headcannon of them after they're resurrected. Moreau is a grouchy, old timer sailor who is fed up with Karl's shit. Karl looks like he's on his way to the park to pick up single dads and twinks.🤣

[rengokuneedshugs]

hey hey! could I get a Heisenberg x gender neutral autistic reader, preferably one where they have an odd special interest

have a great day! :3

Thank you so much Anon!!! This is a lovely request and i'm honored you came to me!!!!! I'm not very good at writing for autism so hope i do okay and you enjoy!

Heisenberg X GN! Autistic! Reader

Karl tries not to bring up your autism very often just in case you're insecure

He doesn't think theres anything wrong with you

He just knows everyone has trouble with personal attributes and he wants to make sure he doesn't harm you in any way, shape or form

He loves that you have odd hobbies and interests

He always makes sure you have EVERYTHING for your hyperfixation

It's never a surprise when you come to him obsessing over a new interest

One time he brought up bracelet making

He was just curious if you'd done it before

The next day he realized you never slept and there were 5 bracelets made out of various colors and sizes

Number 6 was in your hands being made as this all hit him

Some of your interest tend to be on the weirder side but that doesn't bother him one bit

He has a closet of your unfinished works so they aren't laying around all willy nilly

Absolutely loves to have you help him in the workshop and with metals

Always has a first aid kit just in case you decide to do something dangerous

Which yes you have done random dangerous things without him knowing

He often visits The Duke to see if he has any new things for you to play around with and craft with

One time The Duke had a kumihimo disc

Karl made sure he got it for you since it looked crafty

You spent

DAYS

Making kumihimo

For no reason other than it was fun

Karl has entire rooms for your craft materials

You have so much

He likes to watch you do whatever hobby you have at the moment

It's mesmerizing

He's fallen asleep while watching you work it's relaxing

Welllllllll i think thats all for this one you guys know the drill requests are open thank you so so so much for all the support i wouldn't be writing as much as i do without all of you and your love that you've shared! I hope you have an amazing day or night drink water and sleep well when you do sleep!!!

[kittypup12]

He absolutely would be on some Rube Goldberg machine ass nonsense

You know about these crazy inventions, that should make your daily life "easier", right? Like these ridiculous breakfast serving machines.

I bet, Karl made one of these. Toasts slapped his face, eggs and bacon were half-raw and half-burned, and boiled water poured just a quarter of his coffee cup, and scalded his knees. Nonetheless, Karl happily exhaled: "Technology".

...he got his face scars, when he made auto-shave machine, change my mind.

[kittypup12]

Hi, I know I've been dead, but I have been itching with some new fun AU material.. hear me out:

Post events of village, everything still unfolds the same, Heisenberg still dies.. but he isn't exactly *gone* per say.

Oh yeah, I'm talking spirit AU baby

The Duke even comments about how he can "feel Heisenberg's essence"

We (unfortunately) don't actually see any hints of the Lords' presence in the dlc. If course, you could look at it as a sign they've "moved on" considering they aren't seen in the megamycete

Or maybe they are trapped, not in the mold, but in their crystalized remains.. Remains that were purchased by the Duke

He could keep them for his own purposes, of course, or maybe they've been pawned off over the years for profit. (Except Lady D for... reasons 👀)

So say after some saving, you finally decide to treat yourself on a trip backpacking through Europe

One day, you decide to take a quick detour to a local oddities shop on the way to your next hostel

You see your typical fair of fake taxidermy, old medical instruments, ect. Until you head further back into the store

You find what seems to be a very unique.. sculpture? It looks like some kind of amalgamation of various scraps of metal and what almost looks like flesh

Of course, you know better than that, but God it looks so real

You assume it must be some kind of statement piece, and for some odd reason, are completely compelled by it

The shop owner claims it was purchased from an odd traveling salesman and just had to have it. He recalls how he felt an almost electric energy and drawing presence radiating from the object. Nearly possessing, he says

Shortly after bringing to the store, strange things began happening to the metal and technology

That's why he keeps the strange object hidden in the farthest corners of the store. Because of this, he's more than willing to sell it to you simply to get it off his hands

It's a bit heavy to tote around for the few days left on your trip, but other than that everything seems normal

Until you get home

At first it starts very small. The lights seem to begin flickering more often. Out of the corner of your eye, you swear you catch some of your metal silverware and items move.

The room you keep the "sculpture" seems to be the most affected. There seems to be a slight electricity in the air that only gets thicker the closer you get to it. Some days, you swear you can hear I near inaudible, low static hum coming from it. Almost like the slight static you'd hear turning on an old tv

Over time, the feeling of a presence can't be ignored anymore. No matter how many candles you light or what air freshener you use, the scent of oil and cigar smoke wafts from the room. Next is the heavy foots steps from boots can be heard walking through hallways, stairs, etc. If you have pets, they begin staring at something that isn't there slightly *too long* for your liking

Then, one night, you get your first look at your new occupant

It's about 3am when you wake up. You're in that odd in-between state of rest and wakefulness. Your movements feel limited, and you assume it's probably sleep paralysis.. then you see him

A dark, looming figure standing near the foot of your bed. Your eyes begin to adjust to the darkness, and you can slowly make out more of its features. A tall, male like figure wearing a wide brimmed hat and what you figure to be a large coat. A classic description of your typical sleep paralysis "demon."

Surprisingly, he seems to not actually be looking at you but off in another direction. You watch as he pulls something from (what you believe) is his pocket and put it up to his mouth. You swear you see a small flicker, followed by the sound of an exhale and the smell of smoke. A cigar, you think to yourself. Looks like you've found the source of that pesky tobacco odor

Suddenly, he turns in your direction and finally looks to have noticed you staring at him

After a short stare down, he quickly walks off through your wall, leaving a visible trail of smoke in his wake

ANYWAYS THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT FOR NOW! (Sorry, this turned out way longer than I thought 🫣) I have a few more ideas in mind, so please let me know if you'd be interested in more or have some of your own! 😊

[charlessmiths-wife]

having donna brain rot so like…. have some headcannons if you want x these are mostly hcs of what I think a relationship would be like with her but there’s also some general ones in there!

DONNA HCS

CW!! brief mentions of PTSD/discussions of poor mental health

-> i think my personal take on Donna is that she’s very quiet/introverted at first, but the more comfortable she becomes around you the more she opens up. i see her as the silent but thoughtful type. she’s got a lot of care for those who mean a lot to her (so you!) but around those who she doesn’t like or isn’t as comfortable around this angel is absolutely silent. plenty of thoughts about how annoying they are, but they’re very rarely vocalised.

-> on that note, Donna hates meetings of the lords.

-> it’s not that Donna has awful relationships with the other lords of the village, I actually do believe they are relatively close in spite of the fact she prefers her isolation

-> it’s more so… meetings often showcase a lot of strong personalities… which lead to arguments (particularly Heisenberg and Alcina based arguments - this is affectionate bc I love them both x) that just stress Donna out.

-> i think (given how long Donna lived on her on with just Angie and the dolls for company) Donna didn’t really have anyone to open up to regarding past traumas or any issues that troubled her.

-> so when she first met you, and saw how much you cared about her… and how much you listened… she couldn’t believe it

-> literally.

-> I have a hc that shortly after coming clean to you about her feelings for you and beginning to grow closer to you, Donna… had something of an argument with you

-> she legitimately believed you were too good to be true. and you were some sort of cruel manipulation tactic sent by like Miranda or something to butter her up for some kind of scheme.

-> once you reassured her your feelings for her were genuine and you truly cared for her simply because you loved her… she broke down sobbing.

-> it broke your heart to see her believe so genuinely she didn’t deserve you. but that day did prove to be crucial in not only you guys’ relationship, but also Donna’s life.

-> not only did you manage to encourage Donna to seek help for her mental health struggles- but you also encouraged her to open up more to you.

-> and she does! she does both! and babygirl comes on leaps and bounds!

-> Donna’s past experiences will always be with her, but you managed to show her she’s deserving and worthy of a brighter future.

-> I like to imagine you guys love baking together, particularly Donna. She finds it relaxing.

-> and she’s AMAZING at it. and cooking.

-> omfg Donna is incredible at cooking.

-> she loves to make Italian dishes for you. and she gets Angie to help.

-> Just imagine walking into the kitchen to find Donna absolutely MASTERING the art of hand making your favourite meal… meanwhile Angies running around the kitchen wearing a small chefs hat and apron (that Donna made) waving a wooden spoon around as if it’s a weapon.

-> You and Donna do have to wrestle the spoon off of her later that night.

-> I also think Donna really likes music!

-> she owns an old record player, sometimes she’ll play a record for the pair of you and ask you to dance. you always say yes, how could you say no to someone so cute?

-> she’s actually a very talented person. you’re always reminding her of this, because sometimes she forgets.

-> the woman literally has an ear for good music, can bake, cook, CRAFT, sew, garden, write….

-> I also (for some reason) think she has some secret talent at chess. Like, she’s untouchable when it comes to that game. You don’t know how, but she wins every time, it’s entertaining to watch but it does mean board game nights aren’t really overly competitive x

-> her love language is absolutely words of affirmation.

-> please tell her how much you care about her, and how good you think she is. she will melt.

-> i actually think her default form of giving love language is a mixture of physical touch and gift giving.

-> she mightn’t always know how to tell you how much she loves you verbally, but she’ll write it in a poem and gift it to you or she’ll make you a gift or maybe even softly stroke your back in the mornings and it’ll all be clear

-> you never have to doubt how much she cares about you.

-> loves cutesy nicknames. call her ‘my love’ or ‘darling’ and watch her MELT.

-> (has a soft spot for the nickname ‘princess’.)

-> you and her are just so sickeningly sweet when you’re together.

-> you can spend entire days with each other in peaceful silence. just lying in each others arms and occasionally whispering how much you love each other, softly pressing kisses to each others lips cheeks and forehead. really anywhere you can.

-> Angie will roll her eyes and pretend to be ‘sick’ but she’s secretly over the moon. she’s never seen Donna so happy and confident in herself than when she found you.

-> it makes her happy to see. it’s what Donna deserves <3

AAAAGGGGG I AM SO SOFT FOR THIS WOMAN 😭😭😭

[grannanna]

Headcannons for the Lords in the DLC

Ok so after playing the dlc, and rewatching a playthrough I have some headcanons about the Lords post their deaths 

Obviously Miranda was right about the megamycete cataloguing everyone and their memories, hence ethan being in there and Miranda and Eveline and blah blah blah but as obvious from many peoples there was one major question 

WHERE ARE THE LORDS 

My thoughts/headcannons are that they are in fact in there, but had enough of Miranda’s BS 

Karl was already making that army, but Lady D was promised power and ended up dying, Donna was promised safety (i guess I think she was just nabbed into it like Karl) and she died with Angie in her own home, and Moreau still had mommy issues when he died 

So they all wake up in this place where Miranda is no longer technically in charge of them, they can do whatever they want, and be with those who they cared about within the megamycete? Why on EARTH would they continue working with her?!

So lady d gets to be with her daughters in her own copy of the castle (not the duke on cause i like the theory that he’s a copy of the OG duke and therefore the castle is a copy too for the duke by miranda) 

Bella donna and cassandra get to go outside for the first time ever 

They lay in the warm sun together and have victorian picnics together!

Donna gets to be with her family again and has angie and they get to be happy and Donna slowly redevelops her confidence 

And also i think you could appear however you want in the megamycete so like she could be confident in her own face again 

AND MOREAU 

Moreau would try to work with Miranda but I like the idea that she blows up at him 

I mean I don’t like her blowing up at fish baby but ya know 

Have to break it to him somehow 

I think he’d slowly come to realize after that that he doesn’t need her and he’s great on his own and now is in his old human form fishing peacefully with long dead fisherman friends 

Karl tho 

Karl would be a little upset at first? 

Like yeah MIranda’s dead 

But he’s not alive 

So even now that she’s dead he still might have to deal with her

But he can do one thing 

He gets to kill her over and over again until he gets bored of it 

And when he does? He’ll retreat to maybe some cabin he made in the mind of the megamycete, like a memory of his childhood homebefore the factory and just spend eternity tinkering there 

I also like the idea that Ethan has the copy of his home from the game like we see in the dlc and like eventually he became friends with the lords like “eh when you’re not trying to kill me it’s not so bad” 

Also i just like the idea of Karl and ethan sitting on the front porch like dad shooting the breeze with beer

[ilywrites]

KARL HEISENBERG GENERAL HEADCANNONS

A/N - Finally got enough energy to actually finish something! I keep writing then disliking it and starting over again. I’ll eventually be posting more Heisenberg content along with Astarion or Gale. 👀 Enjoy!!

Warnings: None!

———

- He cant sleep with a blanket on, like it literally would make him sweat to no end.

- You both would wake up to a pool of sweat if he did.

- Even if it’s cold outside, he stays warm. He’s like your own personal heater.

- So because of that he usually winds up being your blanket instead of using the actual one.

- Whether he is laying on you or you’re curled up in his arms. He is always whats keeping you warm.

- I also think he would like it whenever you sit in his lap.

- It makes him feel loved, plus he likes holding you.

- Speaking of which, he would totally carry you around the factory if you were too tired to walk.

- It’s time to go to bed? Say you’re too tired to go upstairs and boom he’s already carrying you.

- It’s no problem to him at all, i mean he carries a big ass hammer around he can carry you too.

- If you ever say something about being too heavy he’d reassure you that you aren’t.

- Though i don’t think he’d be amazing at reassuring, or words in general.

- He could show you he loves you through actions any day. But words? Probably not as much.

- He just doesn’t know how to, he barely knows how to love someone more or less tell them how much he does.

- If you really needed it though, he would try his hardest to tell you.

- I also believe he would bring little trinkets to you, maybe something he made or something he found lying around.

- He would brush it off as nothing but always stare and make sure you liked it.

- “If you don’t like it then too bad”

- This man would be the most stubborn person to deal with honestly.

- If you tried to tear him away from work to sleep or rest, he would either leave then go back after 5 minutes.

- Or he would just say no and ignore your persistence.

- All in all he is trying to be the best person he can be for you, he just needs time to do so.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

Hey, I love your Miss D and her Manthing series! However, I do have a question about it.

How come we never see Ethan talk? In some of these situations, like the most recent one with the blood bathtub, he could’ve communicated that he’s uncomfortable. I understand that the entire joke is that the Dimitrescus treat him like a pet, but the rest of the world is very aware that he’s a guy just as sentient/ sapient as them. Does your Ethan just not talk?

No hate, btw! Your comics are great and really funny, but the poor dude looks so uncomfortable in some situations and I feel like if he could’ve talked, he would’ve sat down at least Alcina and explain the situation.

i get this question a lot! and the most simple straight forawrd answer (it is not a very good one) is not to look into it too much! i know its a bad answer but thats how i went into the comic while i was making it! just: ok lets just make really funny scenarios to make people laugh!

they dont nesscarily make sense, ans they could technically be avoided but, they arent for the sake of the silly comic to happen in the first place! ethan HAS tried to speak before but is repeatedly intteruptted at least where we have seen him try (heisenberg)

u could headcannon whatever reason! ive seen people say that they headcannon him to be mute bcs of PTSD, or maybe they speak romanian and he doesnt understand them and they dont understand him in the end, he just doesnt talk for the sake of comedy in the comic! but u can decide whatever reason u want!