#seriously...fuck my life...
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Me: (working on the next chapter of Exile) hm...I wonder if there's a way for me to translate any English to Dacian...
Me: (doesn't find any...)
Google: it's a dead language you dumb bitch, you're not gonna find shit.
Me: ....
Google: (smug silence)
Me: (throws Google at the wall) WHY MUST YOU FAIL ME SO OFTEN?!!!???!!!!
#trials of being a writer#writing#fanfiction#google#Exile: A Nosferatu Fanfic#seriously...fuck my life...
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Crush, crush, crush!
#atla#zutara#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla fanart#atla art#prince zuko#katara#jet atla#zuko art#zuko fanart#atla zuko#katara art#katara fanart#atla katara#katara of the southern water tribe#jetkotara#jetko#zutara fanart#Gotta love these mutual crushes#Love triangle? What is that???#In this house ZK is the ultimate OTP but we can appreciate the beauty and charm of the Mutual Ex Jet trope.#If only for the comedic potential.#Okay but seriously. Jet had the biggest crush on Zuko ever and it's so embarrassing. It's not even subtle.#“Hey so I saw you from across the deck and I think you just might be my soulmate. Wanna join my gang and be my partner for life?”#“Wait why not. We can be hot and moody and dark and rebellious toge—what do you mean you don't want to be with me.”#“Why does being dismissive make you hotter—oh spirits you're a firebender. I'LL KILL YOU.”#“I know you're up to something you evil bastard—no I won't stop stalking you. Stop asking. What did you just—FUCK ME YOURSELF YOU IDIOT.”#(He doesn't.)#jetara
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i forgot to post this during june but i think one of the reasons qsmp was so important was how unapologetically Gay it was
for starters, the number of creators and admins involved who are irl queer of some variation, just chilling in a place where any kind of phobia would get Philza's legendary ban hammer faster than you could say "rainbow jelly"
and then the characters.
i remember showing up that first day and being shocked that somehow foolish had an ex-boyfriend already (I had missed the squidcraft lore apparently)
that server. gay. all the gay. all kinds of gay.
govermentally assigned platonic husbands that stayed together the whole time (despite one of them being gone for months at a time), not a chance in hell of infidelity. Proud fathers of two wonderful children.
governmentally assigned partners who yelled full volume at each other about cheating any time they were in the room together and between the two of them killed two children.
a grieving father and ex-convict becoming one of the most solid couples in the server, with a beautiful wedding and consistent public displays of affection via the in-game chat.
a demon ashamed of who she was and a lonely detective struggling with family trauma, now with a lil girl of their own, to love together and take care of, with more moms than could ever allow the little girl to ever be lonely herself.
a 2b2t warrior coming to terms with his sexuality with the support of his beautiful baby boy at his side, slowly but surely opening up to his eventual Brazilian Boyfriend. Where they went from the most cautious couple (baby steps) to the most sickeningly sweet couple on the server.
- and this list doesn't even scratch the surface.
gay characters, trans characters, ace characters, aroace characters, gender fluid characters, all kinds of relationships and families.
all presented without negativity or shame.
the point of the server was to exchange languages and cultures, without the biases and barriers seen so much in both the content creator scene and the wider world.
it also had a beautiful little side effect, practically by accident.
our lgbtqsmp.
#meant so fucking much to me#qsmp#qsmp pride#death duo#misclick duo#guapoduo#teaduo#hideduo#as a core memory i just remember how seriously cellbit took his characters relationship with roiers#it wasnt just a joke. it wasnt just a bit. he was writing a love story for his character that was meant to mean something.#maybe im too used to mainstream media treating queer relationships as less important. or never developing them as much as straight ones.#so this server full of the gayest lil cubitos around did a lil healing on my gay lil heart :)#qsmp lore#life's just a lil more bright with a lil bit of rainbow ya know?#lgbtqsmp#and then also tubbo having a lil vomit anytime hideduo looked at each other while fogetting how humans speak whenever fred looked at him#frubbo
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Okay but have we thought about how scary odysseus interacting with the gods /his knowledge about such things it must have been for his crew?
Its well known that odysseus is Athenas favorite, even before the Trojan war. But what does that look like from the outside? Are their conversations in some other plain? Does odysseus sometimes just glaze over and you just have to trust its a god speaking to him and not aome other fit? Out in the open? During the war odysseus was frequently doing really bizarre things on Athena's say so. Bit you also know your captain is a freak and lier so which is it this time? The gods will or odysseus just tucking with you? There's a little wariness there. But it's well known. And been like this forever.
But then you start encountering more monsters. More gods. They all talk to your captain. Your captain stops sleeping. Your go between for you and the captain starts committing crimes against the captain, starts bad mouthing him. More of your friends have died then in ten years of war. And every other day there's a new god talking to your captain. What mortal man has the interest of this many gods? What mortal man can get up in the gods faces to yell at them. What mortal man has the powers to overcome the witches they encounter the power to over turn gods spells? What mortal man's tongue is so gilded he convinces these powers to help them? And doubt comes creeping in.
#the odyssey#epic the musical#odysseus#Odysseus's crew#outsider pov my beloved#But no seriously what does odysseus's life and causal interactions with the gods look like from the average man#Is your captain being weird because of the gods or because he's fucking with you and is about to laugh in your face#It's 50/50 either way and how do you tell#I have many thoughts and feelings about odysseus's unnamed crew#Typing this out I just realized that odysseus's crew don't know how he got circle on their side#All they know is he waltzed into her palace was not affected by her magic and then convinced her to turn everybody back and help them#The conspiracies that must exist around this man#Also odysseus got Athens blessing as a child how did he change after that?#How did eury and pilties feel about their interactions being spied on by a goddess?
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Really I think nothing shouts "my first Presidential election as a politically active person was 2016" more than the fact that when I feel hope and excitement for the future (possible President Harris) for more than five minutes I immediately get a crushing, all-consuming anxiety of "feeling this positive emotion now is going to make it so much worse when the worst thing possible happens" to the extent that I'll probably need my break-glass-in-case-of-emergency anxiety medication.
#politics#us politics#kamala harris#donald trump#2016 election#2024 elections#personal post#I can't feel any hope about politics without my brain reflexively shutting it down in case things get too nice before the fall#I know Harris has flaws#But I just like her--she's more progressive and feels joy and isn't shy about hating Trump#But then my brain is like “do not get attached or The Pain will be worse later”#This happened in 2020 too---I couldn't believe it when we won I was so busy preparing for the worst#harris for president#democrats#vote democrat#seriously vote democrat#If you are following me or reading my fic and capable of voting in the US election and are not voting Democrat please feel free to fuck off#You're the reason Trump won in 2016 and if you prove my anxiety brain right I hope all your food comes out burnt for the rest of your life#good thing I have therapy tomorrow
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Man, it's cool and all if you see a metaphor for marginalisation in the monstrous, and if you want the power fantasy of 'what if you could just eat anybody who threatened you/pissed you off'. Me too.
However, as soon as you start saying 'no, these monsters are a 1:1 on Specific Marginalised Group, and you have to treat them in the fiction like they are directly representative of real human members of the marginalised group', BUT you also, in the fiction, make them hurt/kill/eat humans? And then try to shame me, your audience, for noticing or engaging with the bit where they kill people, because you made them directly representative of a real-world marginalised group? You have lost me, and also, I think, the plot.
#hear yourself. for the love of whatever you cherish.#'but they only kill bigots so ACTUALLY they're the GOOD GUYS -' your metaphor of monstrosity is entirely premised on the question of#'what if what you went around righteously killing; believing your actions to be justified;#were actually people and it was not in fact righteous or justified to just kill them'#'what if the world isn't neatly split into 'good guys' and 'bad guys'#who gets to decide who or what is 'bad'? because that's the original problem of monstrosity-as-metaphor-for-marginalisation#(if as a creator you say 'oh my intention with this was X' cool!#if instead you go with something like. well.#'well in this setting monsters are so rare it doesn't matter that they kill people and you'd have to be a homicidal sadistic psychopath >#< to hunt them; but sure I guess if you want to play a Bad Person' well I might have#but if you're going to explicitly judge me for wanting to engage with the moral question of 'how justified is this and who would do it#versus how justified are these monsters if they do have to harm or kill people to continue to exist'#then maybe I just don't want to play your game at all)#anyway I'm sick to death of poor uwu cozy vampires who are SO marginalised so I'm not Allowed to care about all the people they murder#it being fucked up is what's fun about it! do all the other shit but let me take the murders seriously!#and inb4 someone accuses me of being a bigot for saying 'actually I don't think you get a free pass to kill and eat people if you're gay'#remember when the CW's famously reactionary and conservative Supernatural tried to just gloss over the part where every time its heroes >#< killed a demon with a magic knife it also killed the person the demon was possessing#and say 'oh no it's fine we don't care about those killings; they don't matter; don't bother caring about them either'#but they were doing it to glorify exactly the kind of people that these 'monster as metaphor' stories are trying to cast as expendable?#I have other examples that are like. real dramas. but That Paranormal Show is the one that's in the same niche that I'm talking about here#it feels more insidious when it comes through a fantasy show where there are monsters involved#so you can say 'no it's not real so it doesn't matter'#but then ALL of it is equally not real. and vampires are not actually an oppressed group. because they don't exist.#you can say 'these vampires are a metaphor for an oppressed group so this fiction matters in real life'#or you can say 'don't care about the murders because they weren't actually real'#but you can't say both and then get mad at ME for treating the murders as seriously as the vampires#let me engage with your premise and don't waste my fucking time#or just set your fluff in the Sesame Street universe where vampires drink cherry Kool-Aid and help kids learn to count
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender
…..I made the moodboard….
#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. It’s an invitation haha#I love the fics that I can’t read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I don’t enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#it’s just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isn’t about them being ‘haha cute organics’#it’s ‘oh god. I was turned into something I’m not’#instead of teeheee they’re fluffy#it’s please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now I’m kind of stuck reading this fic because I just can’t stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror is….damn. Impressive. I didn’t expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#it’s not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuck….I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I read��..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do this……..#there’s a tiny chance they’re following me….if it’s true then I wanna tell I’m sorry pls don’t take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic is…the grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesn’t even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which is…..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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Get in the fucking biograft, Shuriken. (EVANGELION/PHIGHTING!)
(og screenshot’s/cover under text!) Why hello there to my tumblr followers, it’s been a awhile /silly
ANYWAYS!!! Guess who recently finished the EVA franchise minus the rebuilds and has been in a horrible chokehold over it, this anime ruined my life but hey at least its intro theme is nice……
Well, I wanted to draw some stuff for it! All together these pieces took exactly 48 hours and 20 minutes… with the cover-piece taking ~35(?) of those hours. These were… very, VERY time costly safe to say LOL,,, I am super, SUPER proud of how the cover came out though, everything on it was drawn, colored, rendered, edited, whatever, BY HAND stroke by stroke (as you can see below)
The text, the lineart, the shadows, the colors, the snowflakes on the bio and Shuri, EVERYTHING was done by hand, it was horribly time costly but it did come out very, VERY well in the end I would say (fun fact! I also didn’t originally have the textless version of the cover, and I had to trace all of the lineart for bio’s tophalf by just guessing what line when where and what the hell was going on /silly)
this was a very, very hard project to do all together, but it was also a really nice learning experience too, I’m happy i did it that’s for sure :3!
(og screenies + cover)
#its. Done#ho. ly.#FUCK#its finally done#48 hours of work later and I’m FREEEEEEEE (lie) /silly#Eva has been rotting my brain into oblivion recently#I am oh so traumatized and mentally disturbed but man this anime does hold a very special place in my heart#And so does PHIGHTING! which is why this exists /silly#So! About this#This isn’t an au- not really at least. I don’t think I could live with myself if I made this a serious au#I love Eva with all my heart but I feel like it’s just a little too mature to combine with something like phighting LMAO#I don’t want to be the reason why some poor 12 year old finds out about EVA and then is subsequently traumatized for life because an#Artist they like combined the two /j#Okay seriously though yeah! This is really just a fun little “what if” situation- bascially of what characters would be who and how would a#Small bit of the world building work#Other then that I have been trying to avoid putting much thought into it#Credits to my friend Torch for getting me into this hell-show by the way /vsilly#art#artists on tumblr#phighting#digital art#phighting roblox#phighting fanart#phighting art#roblox phighting#phighting!#evangelion fanart#neon genesis evangelion#the end of evangelion#neon genesis fanart
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Good news! You aren't required to make your hobbies and passions "marketable." In fact, your crafts, hobbies, and passions don't even need to be public if you so choose. You don't have to spend all of your energy becoming perfect if you aren't enjoying the process. You are not a product, you are a person, a creative, and your work also does not need to be a product.
#positivity#yet another post that's like... thinnly-veiled as being for myself#i find myself freezing with anxiety when i think about the things i used to do (writing especially) because...#...i had felt this force to make it ~content~ and ~marketable to an audience~ and it was so fucking daunting...#...it felt like being a gladiator in a coliseum#even now i fight the urge to equate being marketable to being acceptable and worthy of admiration and praise#i wish i hadn't burnt myself out of writing by doing this because i'm simultaneously grieving my writing and hating it#and it sucks the life out of what makes you feel like a person and it takes the art out of art#so be free! pist your art or don't! you are beholden to nobody!!!#(obviously this is not the case for professional artists who rely on their art to keep them alive)#(and i criticize heavily the idea that audiences are entitled to an artists labour)#(i understand that this isn't universal and if it doesn't apply to you then you don't have to take me seriously)#(if you are a professional artist or what have you i hope you are able to feed and house yourself off of that career!)#(i hope you are able to live a happy life and be able to keep loving what you're doing)
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also i talk about 'getting lucanis out' like it's an easy thing but i do genuinely wonder if he experiences cognitive dissonance over it all. surely he must know if he stays with the crows and stays first talon, he's stuck in this state forever. he can change things, but how long does that last? how many times has he thought, guilty, 'maybe after caterina dies, i can be free'? how many crows will be waiting for him to die, so they can go back to killing for coin without thinking of the innocents lucanis wants to save? how could he ever ensure that? and if he has kids (i don't even think. he wants kids frankly.) i refuse to believe he would abuse them the way caterina abused him. like how does he raise any child to take over a guild that is infamous for infighting. he doesn't need to look far to know how that goes. the dellamortes used to be 14 members strong, and within a few decades that number gets whittled down to 3. lucanis stays with the crows? it can be whittled down to 0. but the dellamorte legacy remains. how on earth could he ever extract himself from the mess he's inherited. how could he ever trust any other hand except his own
#i do not think he should stay. but . oh my fucking god the idea of obligation 'im the only one who can fix this' is craaazy.#a rook that wants him to go for his own sake. lucanis who can't look away because he knows what the crows are. WOWWWW.#lucanis dellamorte#its also sweet and idealistic of me to think teia and viago could do something. i could perhaps pray and think like this but you know#tyche leaving him over this literally makes me want to die. she really would.#ok sort of. but my darling girl stuck with the crows for the rest of her life makes me want to fucking chew glass#veilguard spoilers#dav#it would kill her. LUCANIS YOU HAVE TO GET BETTER SHE CANNOT TAKE THIS SHE NEEDS TO BE ON A SANDY COAST TO LIVE#i have seriously been thinking abt this for a while since i finished the game bc the idea of tyche wanting kids is not out of the question#tyche having kids. with a lucanis who is talon. divorrrcceee.
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some additional doodles and a Lot of Headcanons... sorry if im spamming these a little bit. ive got so many thoughts in my head, lmao
theres my older pacifica- after weirdmageddon, her and gideon become friends. theyre both sort of ostracized from the town as a whole bc of their past attitudes/actions so they cling together and become buds. its nice having someone else who 'gets' it.
pacifica moved out as soon as she could to get away from her folks and has a job at a local mall. gideon enables her to enjoy at least SOME of her old luxuries by taking her shopping and to get their nails done together and stuff. also his prison buddies help ''kindly persuade'' her parents not to break her enforced no-contact rule from time to time. i know the two have the bitchiest gossip in the entire town together. sometimes when its hard to be 'nice' they know they can at least vent to the other and they wont get judged for it, yknow?
also some backstory doodles! he was a Normal Kid, Once. or close enough to it. gideon was a sickly child and was sheltered and homeschooled for most of his life. the gleefuls moved from texas to oregon when he was about seven (yes i know this breaks canon a little. its fine shh.) and he found journal 2 shortly after. things went downhill from there
other notes. he's always kept his hair long, but used to either let it down or tie it into a long braid. he very briefly attended a public school and he didnt fare very well there (fat kid + albino + 'girly' + general weird interests is basically painting a massive target on your back) he used to stay up and watch late night televangelists when he couldnt sleep in hospital and copped his aesthetic from there
sorry this post is so long i have a lot of thoughts about him </3
#alloyart#gravity falls#gideon gleeful#pacifica northwest#i dont think pacificas 'aesthetic' changes much apart from she allows herself to be more casual now bc she has less 'standards' to uphold#shes still learning what she actually ENJOYS. because shes had her whole life dictated by her parents up until now. its slow going#its funny how in my 'carrying on from canon' au/timeline basically everyone tries to become a nicer or better person#pacificas parents are not included in this tho. fuck em lol. she does NOT have contact with them if she does not absolutely HAVE to.#and having a pal who knows a lot of criminals is actually comforting. gids puts the wall of muscle between her and her parents#they got that upper-middle class solidarity goin on#anyway. sorry this is a fuckin wall of text. like i said ive got SO many headcanons ive not posted publicly#Talk To Me About Gideon Charles Gleeful [i am gripping my desk very tightly]#(in all seriousness if you ever want to hear more uh. idk. send me an ask or something. ask me about headcanons. i'll be happy)
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enmi gintoki…………… orz
#bfy altered my neurons entirely that movie is actually crack made for me specifically#THE ANGST IS SO SO SAD. BUT SO SO GOOD#i’ve had these for soooo long but i just forgot to post them lmao#i think about him. a lot. Too much#enmi gin appeals to the part of my brain that thinks markings (smtiii remnant) and bandages are fucking cool#i LOVEEEE THIS DESIGNNNNNN ACK#it makes me feels so. hngh#his faint smile when he’s finally beaten and is near the end. someone wants me dead#fun fact though i couldn’t take them saying virus seriously bc of the fucking ill smith episode#i’ll be trying to listen to plot but everytime they mention viruses i start giggling incessantly#anyways#BE FOREVER YOROZUYA RUINED MY LIFE AND IM VERY GRATEFUL FOR THAT#sakata gintoki#be forever yorozuya#yorozuya yo eien nare#gintama#ok bye
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surprise!!! we're starting a new one
I LOVE MAKING PATTERNS I LOVE MAKING PATTERNS
something something don't use these in your art, but you can use these in like profiles or banners with explicit credit. you get the jist, send me a message if you wanna ask something thoug
#i'm barely out of november#so fuck my life. bing bong#art#digital art#cat#feline#anthro#furry#furry art#bright colours#bright colors#eyestrain#2025#new year#how do i tag this. like#january#seriously what do i have to work with#worst part of posting
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no because what do you MEAN kid tommy is extremely powerful but is okay with flying under the radar and having all the focus be on billy - does the main/grown up tommy have these powers?? does he know what he can do, or is he just clueless??? based off of the last infinity comic I’m gonna go no, he doesn’t know, but will something happen to awaken these powers soon??? guys I need answers -
#I’m so sick of people SLEEPING on my BOY#(she says while having an impulse profile pic)#no but seriously I’ve always said tommy is just as powerful as fucking billy and now that we’re getting confirmation#I feel so validated#I’m hoping like another traumatic event will happen to him#that forces his time powers to awake#or something fhdjdjjaa#I just need more tommy shepherd in my life he’s FANTASTIC#tommy shepherd#avengers academy
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i received a lot of asks regarding the recent inauguration/why i haven't really commented on it, so i'll just address all my thoughts in this one post.
what can i say? i've marched in protests, i've donated, i've petitioned, i voted blue and implored everyone i knew to do the same. and guess what? america chose what they wanted, and now america is going to get what they want. i've warned people again and again and again, i've reposted, i've spoken out, i've educated myself and others.
what the next 4 (or more since apparently trump is eligible to be reelected) years look like is out of my hands. i'm focused on trying to get my shit together, on guaranteeing that my bag stays secured and that my mental health stays in one piece. we have elon out here doing goddamn nazi salutes and more and more rights being stripped by the day. and as a queer woman, a BLACK queer woman at that, i knew from the moment that i saw that monster on the ballot that we're in deep fucking shit. maybe some of yall are just now figuring it out or catching on, but umm, welcome to fucking reality.
so please, knock it off with the "chaka, why aren't you saying anything?" "chaka why aren't you doing this?" "chaka, why aren't you doing that?"
i am a NINETEEN year old black lesbian who is still in the midst of discovering what the next 10, 5, hell, even 2 years of my life are going to look like. and i'm scared, i'm extremely fucking scared, especially for myself and my family (y'know, other black people). if i want my blog to serve as an escape from that, to be my one area of peace amongst all the chaos and bullshit, let me have that.
and guess what, there are a million other blogs who are speaking out, there are hundreds of nonprofits for you to join, i can even recommend some knowledgeable people on youtube that can give you the full scope of everything that's going on.
but please, leave me be.
#chakachats🦋#like seriously guys#it's annoying and inconsiderate and it gets to a point#i understand your concern#but i am just one fucking person#i just wanna write my fucking smut and try to enjoy my life while I get shit figured out#and this sure as hell isn't helping#so#yeah
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ToA Wizards textposts part 2 which just so happened to be ready for Wizards' 4th anniversary <3
ft. Arthur bashing and Douxie not having a good time :D
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
#HOW THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN THIS INSANE FOR FOUR YEARS#in all seriousness tho this silly little show changed my life you don't understand#toa wizards#toa douxie#hisirdoux casperan#toa merlin#toa arthur#toa morgana#toa bellroc#tales of arcadia#wizards tales of arcadia#gaylight shitposts
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