#seriously who thinks these things are actually cool?
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AGATHA ALL ALONG DEEP DIVE: episode 1 part 1
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2])
IT'S TIME TO REWATCH AGATHA ALL ALONG, WITCHES! And as usual, spoilers below.
episode 1, Seekest Thou The Road
Wanda is dead (no she ain't). As a result, her spell is weakened and Agatha has changed from her nosy neighbor character to detective Agnes (or caught the true crime bug, as Herb will put it.)
Stinky grimy Agnes, so serious and depressed. As soon as she appears onscreen she's humming the Ballad.
Detective Agnes has just been recalled to action after being off duty for a while. She was punished for "punching a suspect", which is code for going after Wanda. Agnes points out that now the suspect is a convicted felon, i.e. that she was right after all and Wanda is dangerous and evil. "I can't be right and wrong" she says. "Yes, you can" says Herb, because both Agatha and Wanda are villain and victim. And lol at the police tape symbolizing Herb's fence. You know the poor guy is in his garden looking down at Agnes in her Bonher family tshirt, wondering what the hell is going on.
oh that's a seriously good shot
Agatha looks heartbroken when she sees Wanda's body, doesn't she? She looks so sorry.
Herb (the real Herb behind the illusion) confirms that Agatha is acting different than usual.
THIRD TIME SHE DISCREETLY DRIES HER TEARS
There is nothing funny about Detective Agnes. Or rather, it's funny to watch her because she's so intense, but we laugh at her, she's not being a clown on purpose like Agatha usually is. And Agatha right now is in a lot of pain, even more than usual having completely lost her agency. This character so unkempt, so sad, so doggedly searching for answers, is more true to Agatha's real self than what she usually lets people see. Deep down she's just a tragic lesbian wet rat.
Somebody called in to have the body found, and I think that somebody was Rio. Why would the body be next to the water otherwise? It's like the River of Life laid her gently where Agatha could find her. In other words, Wanda's death brought her to Agatha. I'm curious about these woods too, we know they don't actually exist as this is all in Agatha's head, but where did the idea come from? Are these the woods where she killed the Salemites? Where she gave birth to Nicky? Or where she buried him?
Agatha's victims from the finale flashing throughout the opening. Wherever it may bend, I'll see you at the end.
"based on the danish series WANDAVISDYEN" never fails to destroy me. and it's so clever too, it's like they're telling first time watchers that yes, this seems like a grim detective show, but you clever audiences know that things are not as they seem and this is a parody, right?? this is not serious at all, it's funny! Laugh! Except. It's not funny. It's not funny at all. And you're going to realize only when it's too late. It's the same thing they do with Sharon/Mrs. Hart, they lure you in with laughs only to hit you with heartbreak. This show is not a comedy at all. It's at its very core a senseless tragedy.
Sarah/Dottie lives next door too, was Agatha talking to her through a window, or does the library desk symbolize another fence? This poor woman, hasn't she suffered enough? But they all more or less try to help Agnes, that's sweet. Has anyone from SWORD or whomever dropped in to talk to them, did the Avengers just decide to leave Agatha there? Did Monica (or Ralph) even explain to the poor people of Westview that she's a witch, or do they just think she's a random neighbor who couldn't be saved from Wanda's Hex?
THE MAILMAN CONTINUES BEING SUSPICIOUS. Is Agatha putting words in his mouth, or was he (the "messanger") sent by someone to warn her about the Darkhold being destroyed???
her FACE when she sees Rio
and the way Rio just stares and stares. When you rewatch this scene knowing that this is the first time she gets to see Agatha in centuries... and she has to be cool and she has to be gentle. I think it's deliberate that they put Phil/Harold/Ross Geller in here, because he's one of the funniest people in Westview and it's suggesting a first time viewer to read this scene as a comedy. Except it's a cosmic tale of tragedy and heartbreak, but you're not supposed to notice yet, even if it's right there under your nose.
Stop being such a lone wolf, Agnes. Or rather, stop being such a sad and lonely covenless witch, Agatha.
Rio laughs her delighted little laugh, licks her lips, looks out the window for a moment as if overwhelmed, then goes back looking at Agatha and basically devouring her with her eyes. ("te veo.") (thank you for my life aubrey plaza.) Agatha stares daggers back, but her body language stars getting defensive. She feels very vulnerable.
Yep, defensive. And wistful.
She is doing her job, like always. But she's also going above and beyond. There is technically no need for her to wake Agatha up, but here she is, dropping gentle clues, guiding her with such patience and care.
"If you wanna be in control you can be" is said in such a kind tone, but it's also sexy?? I think Rio really likes for Agatha to take control, in a lot of ways. Her body language is the opposite of what Agatha is doing too.
Oh noes she's making herself so small now. She's like, intrigued and angry and happy and scared to see Rio. They're both being so tentative!! And she doesn't actually know who Rio is because she's under the damn spell, so her body language and feelings are pure instinct. They come from somewhere very very true and deep. (and LOL that mug says "get a clue")
Is this who you are now, Agatha? the intense but lonely detective? she's genuinely interested, because Rio investigates Agatha just as Agatha investigates everybody else. Rio simply cannot get enough of her. and she keeps talking with this gentle, warm, understated tone.
Gains personal space. Keeps staring and staring.
oh now we're leaning. they do this every scene they are together, they keep getting closer and closer even if they don't mean to, like magnets.
Agatha literally bolts to the door and tells her to leave. Rio's presence is so overwhelming in so many different and complicated ways, and she doesn't even understand why that is at the moment. Kathryn Hahn is playing this perfectly straight (no pun intended), there is genuine pain in her voice.
"Te veo", which is not "see you," but I see you, I'm always looking for you, I'm always watching. And I finally see you, after all this time.
Oh, honey.
I'm running out of space again, but I promise I'll continue this tomorrow. Thank you for all the notes you guys, I was not expecting so many! I'm doing this mostly to amuse myself, but it's nice to know that the brainrot is collective 🙃🙃🙃
go to the next entry
#agatha all along#character study#screenshots#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agathario#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza
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Happy Birthday, Aventurine!!
“Aventurine always tries not to remember. He's never synced the Sigonian calendar system to check the date in trailblaze calendar, never makes the mistake of dwelling on the memories surrounding this day— even when he's too drunk to remember his own name. Done everything possible to not acknowledge it; because this day feels like nothing but a curse to him.
Unfortunately, Jade has now ensured that he never gets to forget his birthday, again.”
Pairing: Aventurine x reader
Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Comfort in the end to compensate for everything else ❤️ Reader is not physically present in the fic (they're not dead it's ok)
wc: 3.3k
Aventurine was abruptly interrupted by a knock on the door just as the sun began to slant westward.
With a sigh, he puts down the pen and glances at the wall clock. The hands on the parchment-shaped monstrosity read 1 pm, but his eyes are drawn back to the purple tongue protruding from its massively extended mouth. Seriously, where does Stelle find these items? "An ugly, purple parchment shaped wall clock that looks like it's ready to eat people"— isn't something most people would think to give him, to say the least. But that's the thing—it was Stelle.
She claimed to have found it during one of her "excavations." And even though Miss March 7th did her best to keep her friend from going into further details, stepping on Stelle's toes right in front of him and giving her a sidelong glance, as if he wouldn't notice, he could tell what kind of "excavations" would turn up something like this. Not like he minds the origins of this gift, however. Gifts from friends are few and far to come by, especially ones who actually tolerate him. Not to mention, Stelle likely sincerely believes that it's a cool gift, which is why it has replaced the diamond-embedded wall clock on his wall.
His musings are interrupted by a second knock, which, like the first one, reverberates once around the room before fading away in embarrassment. "Come in." He announces, reclining back in his seat and looking at the door with expectation in his eyes. It was not uncommon for his secretary to appear randomly in his office, constantly fussing over yet another minor issue. He believed it was her; at least, his itinerary showed he didn't have any guest visits today. Maybe it was time to replace assistants—the new hire is clearly not on the same wavelength as him. But he'd only recently had Topaz yell at him for changing staff so frequently; he'd prefer not to tell her that her choice was horribly disappointing just yet.
With a tiny bag bearing a brand he is all too acquainted with, the secretary enters the office. She keeps her gaze fixed on the floor the entire time, hence doesn't notice when her supervisor raises an eyebrow at the sight of his favorite jewelry brand. "Sir," she says in a low, somewhat flat voice, akin to that of a news reporter. "Earlier, a staff of Madam Jade stopped by. You have a present."
A grin appears on Aventurine's face, followed by a joyful chuckle. With how busy work has been lately, he'd almost forgotten when he asked Jade for a pink diamond, as has Jade apparently, seeing how long it's taken for her to send this. His request was a joke, of course, only meant to irritate Topaz. But he wasn't surprised either; Jade always takes good care of her weaponry. "Ahhh, no wonder!" He chirps and presses his palms together. "She must've finally found some generosity in her heart, hm?" He muses, and his assistant can only stand there stoically. He waves her off as she places the bag on his table and departs with an unnecessary low bow, never looking at his eyes once. As always.
When the secretary has left the room, he opens the bag, humming as he removes the box and gift card. Jade's handwriting is distinctive: prim and precise cursive that resembles a font.
"Happy birthday, Aventurine. This jewel would suit you far better than the pink diamond you asked for, don't you think?" — Jade
Kakavasha freezes. His birthday, she says, but she'd need to align the standard calendar system to the Sigonian one to find that out. She sent him a…..….a gift? For his birthday?
Is this a fucking joke?
The box reveals a chunk of corundum. Raw, uncut, pink and blue hues all over. Shades way too close to his eyes, and it doesn't take a gemologist to tell that Jade had done her searching thoroughly to obtain this. A jewel the color of his eyes, the color of Avgin eyes, neatly wrapped in a box for….to send ..what sort of message, exactly? Oh Avgin, never forget who you were before I found you—unpolished and undeserving. forget your name, but never your roots.
The note is crumpled and thrown in the trashcan, while the corundum and its box are hastily and carelessly pushed back into the bag. Really, so typical of Jade, he scoffs as he tosses the godforsaken bag into a random drawer, never to be seen again.
Kakavasha— no, Aventurine always tries not to remember. He's never synced the Sigonian calendar system to check the date in trailblaze calendar, never makes the mistake of dwelling on the memories surrounding this day— even when he's too drunk to remember his own name. Done everything possible to not acknowledge it; because this day feels like nothing but a curse to him.
Unfortunately, Jade has now ensured that he never gets to forget, again.
In any case, Aventurine concludes that it is not good for him to worry about this too much. Yes, he can just forget about the corundum. Yes, he is able to forget how it resembled Avgin eyes. Yes, he can also forget that Jade most likely sent this to "keep him in check" following the stunt he did in Penacony. But it was a mistake on his part to not see something coming. She had done this before, and it would not be the last time. He smiles at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, composed, shrewd, and calculated. Since a mirror has the freedom of choice, it does not return his smile.
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By the time the car comes to a stop in front of his house, Aventurine is exhausted. His chauffeur unlocks the door for him, and he makes his way to the elevator. Yet he's interrupted again— of course, because it's a cursed day, and Aventurine has to restrain himself from scowling at the gateman, who stands in front of him wearing an anxious expression. "Sir, your friend had visited earlier to drop off something."
He raises an eyebrow and is about to inquire when he notices the bag the man is carrying. Without saying anything further, he simply takes the bag. You are the only one who'd own a dumb clockie bag and the only one who'd ever drop things off at his place.
When he steps in, his three catcakes meow loudly to greet him, and feels somewhat grateful for it. Today was just too exhausting, after all. He understands what this is about, based on the fact that you always give him gifts in person. Why, of all days, would you consider dropping it off today? And with no advanced notice- completely unlike you. How annoying, did Jade really have to do this too? He's never disclosed his birthday to you, so you probably coerced her into telling you, and she was glad to oblige, given you are of value to her.
Aventurine doesn't realize he's been standing in the kitchen for a long time until Spade begins massaging its fluffy body on his legs. He is surrounded by his three catcakes, who are all staring up at him expectantly. The message is crystal clear: We Want Food. He moves swiftly to get their food bowls, chuckling to himself before setting your lunchbox on the counter, sort of as an afterthought. At least they'll be able to go to bed well fed tonight.
After serving them dinner, he leaves the kitchen carrying a bottle of wine, hoping to spend the remainder of the evening crashing on the couch. He can just leave everything else for tomorrow. The benefit of drinking is that it can temporarily impair your ability to sense emotions. He only needs a short term fix, after all. Come tomorrow, he'll take hangover pills, and walk out of this house as Aventurine of the stratagems again— undoubtedly.
He turns on a random B-grade movie, prepared to drink the night away. And he does precisely that—he pushes down thoughts of how his childhood friends, whose features now misty in his memories, would react if they were to see him. With another shot, he pushes down recollections of his mother's cooking—the special meals for the Kakava—and his birthday. Another to accept the now-blurry face of his sister in his memory as the only proof of her existence. Another to forget the clay dolls she'd made for him, on the last birthday kakavasha got to celebrate, that were broken when he had to run for his life. And one more shot, and another, till he's forgotten everything; till he's numb and emotionless.
Feeling empty and hollow is far worse than anything else, and being unable to cry isn't as pleasant as he thought it'd be. But in his lavish home, where gold abounds in every nook and cranny, he has little reason for tears. Money may not be able to buy him happiness, as he is well aware, but it certainly does spare him from ugly tears unfit for his visage. Maybe that's why he hasn't cried in a while, or perhaps he has simply lost his soul somewhere along the way. He stays on the couch till 3 am, accompanied by his pets. He pretends not to see the troubled looks they shoot at him, whispered words passed between them that are clearly about him. By the time he decides to rest for the night, he is fatigued, sluggish, and barely keeping it together.
When he gets up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen, Ace makes a protesting noise before promptly shutting up. Catcakes are smart creatures, and they understand him better than most individuals in his life (or maybe the difference lies in care) His throat is dry, and ice cold water from the freezer provides enormous relief. However, the respite is taken away from him by the crackling lightning, loud as a whip, pulling out memories up to the forefront of his mind again. Of the lightning without the rain, of Sigonia-IV. The drumming of the thunder is largely hidden by the concrete walls, so it isn't as hard on the ear—but it aches a lot more than it did before. Aventurine sneers to himself, dismissing the idea as ludicrous. As if.
The second time the thunder sizzles, Aventurine has to take a sharp breath and grip the countertop to steady himself. It sounds like playing dead in the bleeding streams of Sigonia-IV, like the booming cackle of the mocking thunder. Had he been an insolent child, just a little more doubtful than he already was, he'd believe it was Mama Fenge herself laughing at her so called "blessed child". The thunder sounds similar, but it's not the same. No, because this is still Aventurine and he's still here and those are someone else's memories, forgotten and buried in sand.
Aventurine sighs.
Drinking too much has never done any good to him.
Just as he is ready to leave the kitchen, he notices the lunchbox sitting the counter out of the corner of his eye. Oh, right. He hadn't even touched it. A distraction doesn't seem bad now, though. If he wants to fabricate a plausible lie about eating the food, he would at least need to know what kind of food you sent. If the mental image of your frown after discovering he never even looked at what you sent is what gives him the final push , he would never admit it.
The lunchbox has a plains bear cub logo: you've always been a sucker for cute things. He sets aside the little note attached for later this time, preferring to taste the dinner first. It looks like you chose to make him some kind of soup. Insulated lunchboxes are a blessing— because it's surely been well over half a day since you made it, yet it's still warm. While the presentation is relatively simple, it smells strangely comforting— effect of some potion? He's heard of those, but they're usually used for sick patients, no? Other than that, this is the first homemade meal he's having in a….while. Not that it matters. Aventurine isn't picky, and while the leafy greens are unfamiliar to him, he believes he can handle at least a tablespoon.
Even the largest avalanche can be triggered by the smallest of things. Just one spoonful, and yet it's enough to make his world stop.
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The dry, broken soil scraped against his bare feet, producing little clouds of dust in its wake. His strides were light and rapid, nearly tripping over himself with excitement and giddiness. Just a little more, and he'll reach the finish line. Even the Sun's typical glare felt kind today; warm and tender against his tanned skin. Jumping over the homemade hurdles, he reaches the finish line far ahead of his friends. They protest and pout, and he taunts them with the biggest smile on his face. The soles of his feet feel slightly sore from running barefoot, but Kakavasha wouldn't risk destroying his only pair of shoes for a game.
When he hears his sister's voice calling for him, he rushes to embrace her and buries his face in her apron. His mother once told him that the Avgins all possess lovely voices, but Kakavasha believes his sister's is the best, especially when she laughs.
"And when will you listen to me and stop running around in the middle of the day, hm?" She pinches his nose and uses her apron to wipe the dirt off his face. Kakavasha beams at her with no regrets, proudly displaying the gap between his teeth. Once kakavasha had said his goodbyes to his friends, they walk hand in hand towards their tent.
There, his mother welcomes them with a warm embrace that smells like creosote bush and desert rain. “My darling," she coos, putting his small hands in her larger ones, rough from labour. "I remember you promised to be on time for lunch last time?" He grins cheekily, vowing not to do it again. (He's a repeat offender, but he knows that his mother and sister can't stay upset at him for long.)
His mother laughs, and tells him to tidy up before eating. Kakavasha's tummy is grumbling by the time he returns, and he finds the mats his sister laid down to sit on. The two siblings sit next to each other, chatting and giggling as they wait for their mother. She serves them a pot of hot soup with nettle leaves and lentils, just the way Kakavasha prefers it. He's overjoyed; quickly finishing his prayers before digging in. Kakavasha is a growing boy, and that's proved again when he finishes his bowl before his family.
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The soup she'd served him back then wasn't anything lavish; just a simple soup with local herbs and nettle leaves in a broth that smelt so uniquely of hers. His mama may have had a knack for cooking, but due to a lack of opportunities and resources, she never got to demonstrate her abilities. Compared to that, your food is much finer, and while excellent, it lacks the warmth of his mother's hands.
Nevertheless, he can't resist taking another spoonful and quickly putting it in his mouth because the familiarity is so, so palpable. He recalls that his sister wanted him to eat better, so she gave him half of her portion after he finished his. His mother then gave his sister half of her portion, as they are Both growing children. All of a sudden, the bickering, the laughs, and their voices are as plain as day in his mind. He can't fully recall the glitter in his sister's eyes or the dimple on his mother's cheek, but it's clearer than any other memory he had of them, that's for sure.
Aventurine can't stop crying, even if he wants to. Trying to halt the choking sobbing is fruitless, as is trying to figure out what's going on. He picks up the little message with shaking hands, hoping—praying—that it will help. You'll make it make sense. Somehow.
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“Dear Aventurine, I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!!”
Written in thin, flowing, rounded letters that are noticeably cleaner than your actual handwriting. You undoubtedly put a lot of effort into each letter you wrote. Aventurine was correct in assuming you found out his birthday through Jade, as you have written it here. "Buying a gift for you seems…a little perfunctory," you said, "so I've settled with cooking you something myself."
"And if the dish tastes familiar (which I hope it does) then yes, you've guessed it right— it's a traditional Avgin dish."
The perfumed ink is thicker here, a few ink blots from where you've likely paused to think, go over each sentence in your head before writing them down.
You mention finding the Avgin dishes by reading some kind of research paper on Sigonian culture and food, but Aventurine isn't sure he can believe that. You wrote, "I was fortunate enough," yet chance alone wouldn't get you something like that. Sure, maybe some doctoral candidate was crazy enough to choose a dead planet and its deader tribes to write about, but finding that paper would be too difficult. The biggest issue, however, is that Aventurine believes this dish should not and cannot exist. The stinging nettle leaves his mother used are no longer available, and while he didn't know much about cooking at the time, he was aware that all of the spices he knew were almost extinct. He's looked enough to know.
"I'll be honest, I had some trouble locating the ingredients for it and had to swap the majority of them because I couldn't find them. I really wanted to bring back a familiar feeling, even if it tastes very different from how you remember it. Plus, it's the thought that counts, right?"
In contrast to the light-hearted language, your writing is slightly wobbly and darker here, and Aventurine wonders if you realise your emotions seep through every single one of your actions, laid bare for the world to see.
Noting the disappearance of their owner, curious, the catcakes peep into the kitchen are immediately alarmed to see their owner sitting on the counter stool, sobbing and clutching a box. Spade, unsure of what to do, nuzzles it's head on Aventurine's leg, while the others meow in an attempt to calm him down. Aventurine hasn't sobbed in a long time—he can't remember how to anymore. His body shakes with each ragged and broken sob, sounding shattered and damaged, but he can't stop.
"I hope it brings you fond memories" is what you wrote down, but are you aware of the full impact of what you did for him? Most likely not. Aventurine cherishes all of his memories, including the unpleasant ones: as long as it involves his family. His misery knows no bounds, but he's only had a few years with his sister, and even fewer with his mother. So even the saddest memories are never forgotten, so he can preserve as much of them as possible. They live through his memories, after all.
Even when plain, his mother's meals provided him with more warmth than anything else back then. To feel that warmth decades later is a blessing he can't repay— but a blessing nonetheless. He doesn't have many memories like this one either, gentle and happy, contrary to the endless memories of struggling. He remembers their love so vividly right now, feels it so strongly, alongside yours— that he has no choice but to revel in it.
(Come tomorrow , when he's sober, puffy-eyed from crying and not as vulnerable, he'll have trouble figuring your reasoning. But for now, he'll be fine. Tonight, he'll go to sleep feeling loved. Tonight, his pets will cuddle him to sleep. Tonight, he'll dream of a Sigonia Only he knows.)
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A/N: I'm honestly still so embarrassed about this bc I have an idea but can't execute it like I want to and 🫠🫠 As always, comments and reblogs are really appreciated!! Thank you for reading <3
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I keep seeing once in a while people pondering on an apparent contradiction in Daniil’s character – he is said to be a rationalist but he is evidently extremely emotional. Those things do not go together, right? People notice their confusion. They find all sorts of interesting explanations. From him being manipulative and performative, using his displays of emotion like tools to control people. To him not being rational at all actually, him lying to himself and others, not even knowing who he is, pretending and failing.
Every time I get over it and completely forget and then another one of these hits me in the face. What I forget is that in common understanding rationality is opposed to being emotional. While in the community it is a basic level understanding that there are rational emotions and irrational ones. The same way there are rational beliefs and irrational beliefs (which is to say true and false basically).
From here:
A popular belief about “rationality” is that rationality opposes all emotion—that all our sadness and all our joy are automatically anti-logical by virtue of being feelings. …
For my part, I label an emotion as “not rational” if it rests on mistaken beliefs, or rather, on mistake-producing epistemic conduct. “If the iron approaches your face, and you believe it is hot, and it is cool, the Way opposes your fear. If the iron approaches your face, and you believe it is cool, and it is hot, the Way opposes your calm.” Conversely, an emotion that is evoked by correct beliefs or truth-conducive thinking is a “rational emotion”; and this has the advantage of letting us regard calm as an emotional state, rather than a privileged default. …
Becoming more rational—arriving at better estimates of how-the-world-is—can diminish feelings or intensify them. Sometimes we run away from strong feelings by denying the facts, by flinching away from the view of the world that gave rise to the powerful emotion. If so, then as you study the skills of rationality and train yourself not to deny facts, your feelings will become stronger. …
I visualize the past and future of humankind, the tens of billions of deaths over our history, the misery and fear, the search for answers, the trembling hands reaching upward out of so much blood, what we could become someday when we make the stars our cities, all that darkness and all that light—I know that I can never truly understand it, and I haven’t the words to say. Despite all my philosophy I am still embarrassed to confess strong emotions, and you’re probably uncomfortable hearing them. But I know, now, that it is rational to feel.
Daniil probably suppresses some of his emotions to be taken seriously. But this is masking. And he is bad at it. He has strong emotions and strong convictions and they spill out of him regardless. He also values truth and honesty and that’s another reason why he can’t fully suppress his authenticity.
But all of it is about how to behave in polite society. How not to freak out neurotypicals. It has nothing to do with his thinking process, his beliefs and his goals. His rationality.
Now you can argue that his sincerity and his openness are irrational instrumentally, which is to say they lead to his downfall. He should have masked better and become more cynical if he wanted to succeed. Maybe? But that would also have its downsides, I’m pretty sure. (we’ll see what apathy meter does to his decision making soon enough)
Anyway, that is not the point I see people make. And I just really want people to stop making it. Strong emotions, strong ideals, passionate belief in a better future for humanity – those are all perfectly rational if they align with truth. And he does fail as a rationalist quite a lot as well, but this is purely an epistemological issue that has nothing to do with him being emotional.
#one of the reasons i find daniil to be such a great character#is that he's a pretty good representation of what an actual rationalist is like#outside of ratfic anyway#pathologic#daniil dankovsky#rationality#eliezer yudkowsky
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#boink#oh instagram reels#btw in this video she had a “glow up”#which was basically having aged a little#like regular young adulthood early 20s type you're not gonna look the same as time goes on#like she got bangs and new glasses#i didnt even notice the first two times the video looped#like what#like cool!#yeah!#having a partner who loves and supports you will probably make you look happier! since you feel happier! ok!#also everyone looks different after a year when they're like twenty one!#what!#that's not the boyfriend effect that's just! being human! what the fuck!#also--- divine femininity??????#oh brother#for pete's sake#if you will#look for the most part i think that in general the women and girls and ppl that go with this kind of thing#the divine femininity and girl math and girl pretty and boy pretty etc etc etc#like i hate this kind of stuff but im not about to say that theyre at fault for it#like this is not helping anyone#and it just#god#it makes me upset!#maybe im overreacting but also i kind of think that we're collectively underreacting about this#like i dont wanna see it all over tiktok /let alone/ from my actual real life friends!#earlier this year my friends (women! women friends! staunchly feminist friends!) were joking unironically about girl math#like do we not see how that's harmful. when we talk about poor financial decisions and completely seriously call it girl math.#how do we not see a problem here
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Star Trek may be the only media I haven’t tried to shove a Magical Girl AU into yet and.
I just feel like Julian Bashir would make an EXCELLENT Magical Girl, with Garak as the long suffering mentor/advisor/former enemy.
Or maybe I just want to put Bashir in frilly outfits for my own enjoyment.
#stella talks#.kira/Jadzia/julian as a magical girl trio.#.Kira the magical veteran who is frustrated by the new recruits being too caught up in frills and sparkles to take it seriously.#.Jadzia who seems like she’s gonna be the cool smart one but then turns out to be absolutely feral and insane when given the chance.#.Julian the wide-eyed protag who thinks this is the most fun thing ever until he has to actually kill something with sparkles.#.and then he slowly goes a little insane as his optimism dies inside him.#.Section 31 as an evil counter magical girl team.#.hang on hang on I can do this it can work.#.Kirk was the OG magical girl who founded the magical girl organization with Spock and McCoy of course. Sulu and Uhura were his teammates.#.Keiko is a retired magical girl and if anyone tries to recruit Molly into magical bullshit she’ll kill them.#.wait I CAN do this I have ideas hold on a minute-
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You know, I'm glad that some of us take the step to embrace things that we like even if they're "cringe" or "objectively bad"
But perhaps we could take the next step forward and embrace the idea of reading into books/shows/movies/etc even if they don't seem deep. Perhaps we could understand that the two kinds of media aren't either "shallow and meaningless so you're weird and brainrotted to read into it" or "incredibly and profoundly deep in every way so if you don't analyze every single angle of the thing then you're brainrotted". Some media is deeper than others, but all I propose is that no matter how deep it seems it's acceptable to dig into the thing and take the media seriously instead of just assuming that because of ____ thing (such as target audience or how cringe it is) the media not deep and will never be deep and everything good about it happened on accident.
#fandom wank#i just be ramblin#I'm not putting this in any tags#I'm just frustrated that Sonic Prime is going to be remembered by the bulk of its fanbase/people who watched it as a shallow stupid badly#written kid's show where the only thing good about it that we can even consider was created on purpose and is deep is Sonadow#I'm frustrated that when people learned that sometimes the death note creators did things because it was cool and not because they were#planning for it to be some great symbolism that so many people jumped from 'death note is a masterpiece and every bit of it is meticulously#thought out the curtains are never blue' to 'pack it up guys! the curtains are just blue! Everything good about death note like that#profound relationship I like and the neat symbolism completely happened by accident and Ohba sucks as a writer otherwise'#I'm frustrated when I see people talk about 'a kid's show' as if it's not gonna be deep at all or written well *because#it's a kid's show and then turn around and complain that said show sucks and isn't deep at all (even if that's how they're choosing to look#at it and they could see the care put into the story if they didn't go into it assuming that it will be lesser and shallow and dumb based on#what it is)#I guess it's also just getting me on this random Wednesday the idea that the bulk of one's viewers determine the legacy of a piece of media‚#no matter how close or far away they are from painting the media as it actually is or tries to bw#It's also just bleak (especially from a manga/anime standpoint) that if your work is considered profound and intellectual‚ then any reveal#of something not being deep is grounds for people to completely swap how they think of your work and how they see you as a writer#And any work that's considered 'not actually that deep' from the getgo ends up with people only engaging with it seriously saying stuff like#'I know nothing about it is purposeful or deep but I like it'#and just ends up with prevailing opinion putting down anything percieved as 'good' or 'profound' about the work as a complete fluke
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Between TF and my other fandoms like BG3 and TES, I keep finding myself making OCs that have some element of "battle hardened hero who is actually good and righteous, but so traumatized by the toll of war that even after the war ends they feel empty/wrecked and can't enjoy the fruits of victory" and I'm not sure if it's bc I gravitate to a certain type of media where such OCs fit in best, or bc I have a specific character archetype I like and gravitate towards media that contains those things.
#squiggposting#possibly a mix of both bc idk if i've gone into detail here but war stories are one of my favorite genre of stories#like for fun fictional reasons but also for real life political and moral and emotional implications#war stories are literally so fucking cool man i feel like they get a bad rap for just being propaganda tools#and obv a lot of them can be/are explicitly made to be but also like#(i feel like i'm stealing a quote from one such story) war stories are also a method for the soldiers of the war to tell their side#and usually the soldier's side of the story tells of the LESS glorious and propagandistic sides#maybe ive just had the pleasure of having really good teachers/professors but like#most of the war stories i've read are specifically ABOUT the bridge bt war propaganda and the actual experience of fighting in a war#and i think even the ones where the soldier in question supports the war (american sniper comes to mind)#it's very interesting and dare i say important to read it and understand when and why and how they came to support war#like idk i think it's one of those things where ppl shy away from war stories bc#'ew gross it's all pro war probably american imperialist propaganda written by oppressive killers trying to make us feel sorry for them'#without understanding... idk. the difference between an individual soldier's evil and the evil of an entire institution?#some sort of anti intellectualism regarding soldiers as being inherently evil ppl who aren't to be listened to or taken seriously?#it's not a matter of like. you don't need to like or sympathize with them per se. but i think part of understanding and criticizing#the institution of war is getting the ground level testimonies about it. and more of them are critical than some ppl believe#plus i mean FUCK usamerican imperialism it doesn't need to be about US wars! other countries lived thru other wars that are also important!#war stories may have their strongest association w american imperialism but that doesn't mean other war stories don't exist#idk sorry for rambling in the tags
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it is always a little funny to me when people try to make psychologists and psychiatrists out to be the only people ever capable of being able to accurately diagnose mental illnesses and disorders and that their word is law as a way to criticize self diagnosis when like. once i was hospitalized and the psychiatrist there who i had not even known for more than a day tried to diagnose me as bipolar despite me having No history of mania because he.. couldn't really understand why i acted the way i did i guess???
#milgran't#tw hospital#tw psych ward#i just randomly remembered this (i say randomly as if i dont know exactly why im thinking about this stuff). dont mind me#tbh i should make a tag for like. more personal posts. but. idk what to make the tag name..#oh well#apologies for not being cool and collected and expressing things that show that im a human with emotions and needs recently#The Holidays are probably. one of the worst times of the year for me </3#its not even seasonal depression or whatever its just Oh Jesus Oh Fuck Oh God (gets hit by 99999 trauma bullets)#that psychiatrist sucked SOOOO fucking bad btw#trying to prematurely diagnose me as bipolar was one of the tamest things he did during my stay#i hate him i genuinely hope he dies <3#tbh i think he actually did. Break The Law with me. he probably couldve argued it was for the safety of others bc im crazy :3. but.#sometimes i just Remember That and im like. huh. hey what the fuck actually#but seriously. so many mental health professionals just make you sit there and go. .. how the FUCK did you get your license??????#ive heard some of The Most ''oh only people who are completely ignorant about mental health say this!'' type of shit from professionals#idk why im the one being labelled as insane when they think saying some of that shit is okay and professional MFKDLSFMDSf
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You don't know how much I can Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint code Enstars because I could. Because you have a set up where you are basically taking the place of Anzu--a person created simply to be the reader's/player's self-insert. Because the characters all exist to love Anzu while they're going through their own arcs. Because Anzu also exists to love and support the characters by the game's own coding. She is their world and their hope, and the enstars characters are her idols (and I don't just mean that as singers and dancers).
But slowly, I've seen posts and even small summaries of how Anzu starts becoming her own person, small ways apart from the characters. Yes, she's still quiet. Yes, she is almost always a Viewer. Except for the fact that this is a game story, not just a book or novel story. And games are meant to be played...not by the characters but by someone who is watching them but has not created them.
This is how Anzu has more power than a normal reader. This is also how she has less power than a normal reader. The game allows her to exercise power over the characters' lives that a normal reader of a book cannot--she can help along Trickstar, be the behind the scenes producer for a number of the idol groups in the school, doing something to make them shine. But she is always a puppet, controlled by the player. She has a silly personality with a questionable naming sense and determination and hard-headedness to boot...her preferences for the units and who she builds up are always changing according to the player. Her only goal is to make sure her idols shine (what more does a reader want than to see their characters shine?), yet the goal of the Enstars characters is to adore Anzu and make people like her who support them happy (where would the characters be without a reader?)
Like the Oldest Dream, she is the most powerful and weakest god of all. A puppet steered by the fantasies of many, many individuals yet always loved by the characters for "herself."
#okay first of all#orv spoilers#i know this is incoherent and slightly dramatic but FJIASOJEIRWERe#i am honestly OBSESSED with the self-insert aspect of this game#i know this is probably not how self-insert is supposed to work#and i stay far away from self-insert fics cause theyre not my thing#but like....a y/n character as an actual character????#i latch onto anzu so much like girl i love you. you are yourself. you are me. you are the other people in the fandom who play this game#she really is everything and everyone#please forgive me i know its not that deep but i think it would be so cool of the writers to one day release a story that has an anzu card#where she becomes part of the world....#that would be both the most hilarious thing and horrifying as well if written right#fandom spamdom#enstars#ensemble stars#stuff i say#seriously tho i keep thinking about it compared to orv#and how people always talk about yjh and kdj as a ship. and how anzu sometimes gets romance-coded words thrown at her#(maybe more in basic but i still need to read the basic stories)#and when you really think about it the relationship between the characters and reader really is like....every kind of love#its a romance that isnt a romance. a family that isnt a family. a friendship that isnt a friendship#you know what i mean?#yeah someone gag me before i start overthinking this i swear i am very normal about this game#okay finally finished this thing in my drafts and im having second thoughts about posting but ah well....#this game is making me insane i think
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my therapist fr just asked me if in asexual. gagged and gooped, sitting across from her on that dumbass couch like a fool.
#LIKE#CLAIRE IDK 💀🙏#i dont think im asexual i just think i have trust issues ⚰️#like i cant ever imagine myself happy in a romantic relationship. what does that say abt me 🧍♀️#nah i need to fall in love with someone bro i cant be a hopeless romantic for nuthing!! 😭#actually. controversial opinion thats not going to help me beat these ace allegations BUT#in an ideal world romance wouldnt exist. bc like. who needs it? lmfaoo just have friends or sumthing. we all just do our own lil things-#-seperately and live cool eco lifestyles and no one is in poverty or fighting in wars and everyone is funky fresh#like why u gotta be in love for? doing too much 💀🙏#marry ur bsf or something and let it be platonic. why u gotta invest so heavily in ur feelings for 💀💀#nah. im not abt to tell claire this bc shes gonna truly suspect im asexual or a very bitter single person LMAO#romance is good for one thing and that’s fictional shipping and making fun of ur friends TERRIBLE taste in men 💪#(im aware this post might age badly. if i ever lose my mind and start posting abt someone on here yall humble me with this)#(probs bc i view falling in love too seriously. i cant even think of dating someone w/o thinking of marriage and THAT FREAKS ME OUT 😭😭)#not hp#rewriting
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Decided I'm going to get worse
#my mom decided to tell me that if i keep eating like i do ill get fat#unsolicited#“i was thinking about you” well dont#ever#but no seriously thats such a cool thing to say to your daughter#who has a history of eating disorders#both of them do actually#so i am going to just stop eating i think#i used to be good at i can be good at it again#i missed it anyway#vent :(#jamie shut the fuck up#personal blog#just vibing#rambling
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must my brain sound like an edgy incel chronically online gamer that screams slurs into the mic when they lose a Fortnite match -_-
#like whenever I'm#idk ig splitting would be the right term here#every thought just becomes a violent stew of slurs and view points that I don't normally have otherwise#got nothing against fat people but if I'm splitting on one#you best believe my thoughts are gonna revolve around every generic fatphobic insult you've ever heard#even though I literally don't even agree with any of it....#goes for literally anything you can discriminate against too#honestly it feels pretty gross#and gets pretty weird when it's like... demeaning against women... when I'm also...a woman#like good job brain you insulted yourself in the process#I guess these are like intrusive thoughts in a way?#idk the racist ones in particular just feel really gross#like did I REALLY just think that? for real? girl who ARE you#I know not to take it too seriously bc 1. thought crimes aren't real and#2. if the switch hadn't flipped and I wasn't temporarily upset with that individual#I wouldn't think a single discriminatory thing about them. I wouldn't be vehemently insulting them and cussing them out with vitriol#it's just 'oh I hate you now' *cue an endless steam of random swearing and slurs and discrimination and violent feelings of hatred*#and then back to 'oh you're cool I love you again' with a 'what the actual fuck was i just thinking??'#...... I can't believe these are my moral standards of gross#like oh noes I called someone a stupid fat bitch....in my head.... that I don't even agree with 90% of the time#I never say any of this out loud at least. thank the stars I know how to hold my tongue#r.r
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Zazz the Zeti: worst character voice in the franchise
Infinite the Jackal: best character voice of at least all the villains, if not all characters
Both voiced by the same actor. Seriously, that's some vocal range to go from Zazz's sandpapery redneck screeching to Infinite's smooth, low, sinister speech.
#liam o'brien#zazz the zeti#infinite the jackal#i can't stand infinite's character#he's such a whiny baby#he was nothing but a merc who got mad when shadow handed his tail to him#and then he went and got a mystical rock from eggman and now he thinks he's a god or something#but darned if he don't have the best character design of any villain except for metal sonic#even with the mask#gotta love all that flowing white hair#i'm not saying this as a furry i'm saying as an artist#(well aspiring artist anyway)#infinite was really beautifully designed#such a waste of a good character design#and the whole phantom ruby hallucination thing was amazing#it actually felt threatening#it's just that forces was so botched and infinite is so hard to take seriously#that i think no one really notices just how cool the phantom ruby power actually is
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#Sorry(ish) for changing my icon so much lately lol it will not be the last time#not like actually sorry but a little sorry. in the 'i realize it can be... idk... disorienting/annoying' way#and i just felt like i wanted to acknowledge it lol#probably for some of the same reasons I've been changing it and the colors on my profile/cover photo#which is like... insecurity? 🤷#and i love y'all and just idk#idk idk. i know I'm taking it too seriously!! blame it on the covid!!!#(ignore the fact that I'm pretty sure i starting changing things before i got sick lol)#I've always kinda had internet identity insecurity#how do you pick something to represent you??#everyone else's feels so perfect but like.... duh of course it does because that's all i know about you.#which means i get to decide what's perfect but like the orange leaves definitely wasn't it.#I'm cool/pastel colors through and though forever lol#so I'll find something eventually#but for now this is one of my fav memes I've ever made lol#(not that I've made many)#if u read this ily and if you have thoughts on internet identity or whatever tell me them pls?#there's gotta be someone else who thinks way too much about this shit too right? lol
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Problems with leather beyond ‘it kills animals’:
- the chemicals in the tanning process. They are nasty. And often just end up dumped in the water.
- air pollution due to the transformation process (hydrogen sulfide during dehairing and ammonia during deliming, solvent vapours).’
- worker conditions.
But that stuff doesn’t count, I guess.
‘But every part of the animal gets used!’ Nu-uh. That’s very much company specific. If you’re not looking into how *they* source their leather then you don’t get to make claims about how much of the rest of the animal is used. (Also, like ‘it’s okay to use this bit of an oil derived product because other parts of the oil also got used!’ is that a good argument?) and hey, don’t forget we need to factor shipping for both industries, too - where is it being made, where is it sent to be turned into the final product, where is that product being shipped?. And we need to factor in everything used in the entire lifecycle of the animals. Every problem with the meat industry has to be accounted for in this calculation, too. Every part - every single step of production - of both industries needs to be assessed.
Like whatever, have your silly arguments about why you hate vegan alternatives, but don’t pretend that leather production isn’t also profoundly bad for the environment and for the people who work in the industry. Honestly reading the notes half of it just seems like apologism for people who wanna pretending the only problem is big oil and if you’re not sitting there ranting about oil companies being bad then what are you even doing as activism?
This conversation requires nuance.
It is not a black and white issue.
Like, it’s just not ‘vegan alternatives always environmentally better!’ Or ‘leather always better!’ It’s complicated shit. The best anyone can do is research individual companies (and wow is that difficult and time consuming).
"Vegan Leather"
Plastic. just say plastic.
#I know someone who is genuinely spending his RETIREMENT writing an article defending big oil companies because he is a soulless man I guess#(I.e. spend his life working for an oil company and is now looking for ways to morally justify his complicity)#but seriously#this is stupid#leather production is bad#so is overuse of plastics!#and other fabrics derived from oil.#like… say polyester#and ‘I’m vegetarian but wear leather because it’s okay someone else will eat the meat’#cool just say that about different cuts of meat#it’s okay the animal got killed someone else will eat the trotters so I can eat this cutlet guilt free!#all of these arguments are stupid#everything here is stupid#‘I only have to account for the carbon footprint of the single animal that was killed for this bit of leather’#’but THOSE people have to account for the entire industry! HAH! checkmate!’#better solution than this bullshit: just consume less.#like Jfc where do you think the leather is made?#you think most of the people working in tanneries are well payed an well protected?#trying to figure out what is the best thing to do is HARD#^ this shit? absolutely not helpful#reductive bullshit#if you have leather than look the fuck after it so it can last as long as possible#pass it on or hand it down or whatever#like of course if you have it keep it throwing it away would be ludicrous#but… and hear me out here#neither of these products are actually essential to the lives of the vast majority of people
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finally got around to watching tazza (2006) and it sparked an evilive related inquiry in my mind...
you know in ep3 how ohjae holds his mic in a lil funny upright style?
well peep this gamblingrelated gangster's eerily similar pose in tazza (2006)
so my question is: is ohjae's stance a reference to this? is it a coincidence? is it referencing something even older that i haven't gotten to yet? are these two going up against each other in a 1v1 rap battle?
#ilml#relatedly there was a character in this with the same nickname i had already given one of the OCs in my current wip...#which is actually pretty cool#i wish dongsoo actually gambled in evilive#well no i don't but i just want to see him lose everything in each and every possible way#he's better as a mastermind but god do i want to put him on the casino cruise ship for extended periods of time#unrelatedly. one of the guys that i work with (IRL AT MY IRL JOB) went on a cruise recently and he was telling me about it..#it was his first ever cruise and he had a blast and he's already planning to go again because he enjoyed it so much#what exactly did he enjoy? the casino on the ship... yup... yupppp......... thats right..... casino cruise ship reality..........#but seriously re: these micboys... no way its a coincidence... right?#and also also re: my current wip... wading through ~17k of unedited/incomplete slop of it right now#it WILL take me a LONG time to finish. but i have basically every beat planned out (LIE) so it won't be too HARD it'll just take forever...#i have MOST of it planned but with the way i write new things pop up as i go... so... yeah... who knows...#itll be so fucking long lol its gonna be a pain in the ass.#i wish so badly i could share with you my funny plans and awesome snippets but alas... you must wait...#and i must also wait...#its so hard writing alone T_T#everything i have written for the past 5 years i have had a sort of writing partner to help survive the painstaking passion of storytelling#but in the case of evilive i am ALL ALONE and i drive myself fucking CRAZY in my docs alllll alone oh goodness all alone...#its my fault tho i should chat more on here but MY FEAR OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD.. it is strong.. overwhelming.. very difficult to overcome#ok that is all. do you think ohjae's pose is a tazza reference OR do you think i am WRONG?#bye bye i love you! see you later!
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