#sentimental author is feeling sentimental

[usomads]

You're My Problem // Tama Tonga x Reader

Author’s Note -> Hiiii, so idk how I feel about this honestly but I wanted to get my first Tama story out (we’re starving out here lol) and here’s what I came up with. Lmk if you have any recs for him, and as always, happy reading!!!

Plot -> You and Tama can’t stand each other. Locked in a room with him by force, will the two of you make up or will the hate continue?

Pairings -> Tama Tonga x Fem!Reader

Warnings -> Cursing, Choking, Degradation, Oral Receiving (M!Receiving, F!Receiving), Hair Pulling, Unprotected P in V, Creampie, MDNI

Word Count -> 2.4k

It was impossible to point to a specific incident that led to you and Tama despising each other so deeply, it seemed as if from the moment you met it was clear the two of you would never get along. You were assigned as a producer for the Bloodline storyline, which unfortunately meant that you were working closely with him every single week. None of the other members had a problem with you. In fact, they loved you, but Tama never shared that sentiment. So here you were in the Bloodline’s locker room trying to pitch the promo they’d be doing later in the night but, of course, Tama was being difficult as usual.

“You’re insufferable, you know that? I can’t even get this fuckin’ promo out without you bitching at me every five seconds. God, it’s like you do this shit on purpose-”

“Maybe you just don’t know how to do your fuckin’ job, you ever think of that, Y/N? Oh, I’m sorry, you’re never the problem, right? Shit goes sideways at least once a week but hey, it couldn’t possibly be Little Miss Perfect right?” 

“Oh, so now you think you can tell me how to do my own job? I don’t see the other three struggling with it, so that would just narrow it down to you, right? You wanna talk about me not doing my job right, look in the mirror assho-”

“Both of you, please, shut the fuck up already. It’s every week with this shit, I’m fuckin’ tired of it. Can you just get along, for once?” Sefa groaned, clearly annoyed with the two of you constantly arguing.

“Well if she weren’t such a stuck up bitch then ma-”

“The fuck did you just call me?!” You stood from your seat at Tama’s words, instantly being provoked but was stopped by Sefa stepping in front of you, preventing you from getting in Tama’s face.

“Jesus fuckin’ christ, enough. Both of you need to calm the fuck down-”

“Fuck you mean, ‘calm down’? Did you not just hear what he said? Now get outta my way so I can-”

“No, none of that shit. We got more important business to tend to. Y/N, your promo idea is great, like always. And Tama,” he looked in the Tongan’s direction, “that was fuckin’ uncalled for. I don’t give a fuck how much you don’t like her, callin’ her a bitch is not cool, uce. But both of you,” he pointed between the two of you, “need to figure out whatever this issue is. I can’t have y’all bitchin’ at each other all the time, shit’s annoying as hell. So you know what, I’ve got an idea…” Sefa trailed off. “Me, Jacob, and Tonga are gonna go talk to creative about some shit real quick, and you two,” he and the other two walked towards the door, “are gonna talk this shit out. And I’m not lettin’ y’all outta here until ‘til you do.” You and Tama both tried to say something to stop them but went ignored as Jacob, Tonga, and Sefa went out the door and closed it behind them, locking it in the process. You let out a huff of annoyance, slouching in your seat.

“You realize this is your fault, right?” You spoke out loud, not looking at Tama. “If you weren’t such a fuckin’ dick then we wouldn’t be here right now. Once again, you gotta fuck something up...” 

Tama laughed obnoxiously, “My fault? Oh, don’t act all fuckin’ innocent here, Y/N. You know damn well you had just as much a part in this as I did. Don’t play all innocent now, Sefa ain’t here to defend you.”

You stood up abruptly, ignoring him as you walked to the door and tested the doorknob, finding it was indeed locked. “You’ve gotta be kidding… he fuckin’ locked us in here?!”

Tama stood up and walked over to the door, brushing by you to try the door himself. “There’s no way he did that shit, you’re just being fuckin’ dramatic,” he twisted the knob to also find it locked, you scoffing as he had to try it himself. You step to him, forcing him to look at you as you spoke.

“What the fuck is your issue, Tama? I don’t get it,” you asked, demanding an answer. “Like, what the fuck did I ever do to you? I tried being nice to you at first, I really did, but you’ve been such a fuckin’ prick ever since I met you that you’ve made that literally impossible.” Tama fumed as he pushed your back against the door, stepping dangerously close to you. Your mind felt dizzy as he stood over you, him peering down at you with his intense gaze. Your stomach had all of a sudden become a bundle of nerves as you watched his face, anxious of what he might say or do, but deep down there was a small part of you that enjoyed how intimidated you were by him. You hated how much you enjoyed this, trying desperately to put those thoughts to the side and forget about them completely, but he wouldn’t let you. His stare wouldn’t let you. The heat emanating from his body wouldn’t let you. And his next words certainly wouldn’t either.

“You wanna know what my problem is, Y/N? You. You’re my problem.”

“Well, no shit, I fuckin’ knew that dumba-” your words caught in your throat as he stepped impossibly closer and wrapped a hand around your neck, your bodies nearly touching. You gasped at the feeling and felt your eyes begin to roll to the back of your head, trying hard to maintain a level of self control under his touch.

“My problem is every time you talk back or insult me, I wanna shove my cock down your throat right then and there to shut you up.” He growled. “Been tryin’ so hard not to ruin you since the moment I met you, ‘s why I been actin’ like I can’t stand your ass. But the more bold you been gettin’ with me,” he leaned down to your ear, ��the more I wanna fuck that attitude of yours right outta ya.” You bite your lip at his words, trying your best to suppress the moans that are daring to fall off your lips. Tama raises his head and meets your gaze once more, watching you try desperately to contain yourself underneath him. Your breath quickens as his eyes scan your features, looking for any sign of surrender to him. “Not so bold anymore, huh?” Your lip bite morphs into a smirk, finding your confidence at his teasing remark.

“You gonna sit here and continue to talk outta your ass, or you gonna man up and fuckin’ kiss me already?”

He chuckles lowly before smashing his lips to yours, the grip on your throat tightening and a moan swallowed by your lips coming from his mouth. You grab him by the shirt and pull him closer, craving his touch as your lips dance along his. He forces his tongue in your mouth, dominating it as his other hand grips your hip. Wetness begins to pool at your core, the overwhelming sexual desire between you two palpable as you both fight for dominance. The two of you switch positions; Tama’s back against the door as you separate. Your swollen lips paint a smirk as your hands travel to the hem of his shirt, tugging on the fabric and prompting him to remove it. The bulge in his pants is prominent, silently aching for you as your fingers dance along his waistline. Tama watches your actions- watches you toy with him.

“Y/N, if you don’t…”

“Don’t what? You were the one who called me a bitch earlier, might as well play the part…” you begin to back away from him but his hand grabs your wrist tightly and pulls you to him.

“I don’t think so,” his eyes darken as he speaks to you in a commanding tone. “Get on your knees.”

“Make me.”

Tama grabs your shoulders, shoving you down and undoing his pants to free himself. His cock hits his stomach as he pulls his boxers down, veins prominently detailing the thick shaft as precum leaks from the swollen tip. You look up at him through your lashes, Tama taking a mental picture of the sight of your doe eyes making eye contact with his. To him, the sight of you peering up at him with bruised lips, mere inches away from having your mouth on him was the sexiest thing he’s ever witnessed. You give him a wink and wrap your hand around him, spitting on his dick and slowly stroking it. He groans when you touch him, weaving his fingers into your hair. Your tongue slowly trails from base to tip, tracing the outlines of his veins and giving kitten licks to the swollen head, making him shiver.

“Mmm, fuck Y/N, quit teasin’,” he moaned, gripping your hair harder. You didn’t listen, continuing your actions until he tugs your head back to look at him, a gasp slipping from your mouth and allowing him to slide his tip inside. “You wanna play, huh? Fine by me, baby, let’s play.” He pushes your head slowly down his length, forcing you to relax your jaw and throat to open yourself up to him. You feel his cock hit the back of your throat and gag, eliciting a groan from him as your throat tightens around him. “Mmm, you think you’re so big and bad, ain’t so big now with this dick down your throat, huh?” You moan around his cock, your eyes watering as he thrusts himself in your mouth. He fucks your throat violently, his hips bucking at an unrelenting pace as tears stream your face and you choke on him. He pulls out, allowing you to catch your breath but continues to stroke himself as he looks down at you. “Look at you, you’re a mess. Such a fuckin’ slut f’me, chokin’ on my cock.” You whine at his words, you had never been one for name calling but the way it glided off his tongue made you weak in the knees. “Oh, you like that, huh? C’mere, you wanna be my slut so bad imma fuck you like one.” He lifts you back to your feet, kneeling down and taking off your bottoms, leaving you in your panties. He moves them to the side, collecting your wetness with his fingers. “Damn, baby girl, I did all this? You’re a fuckin’ mess for me,” he smirked.

“Tama, I swear to God…”

“Nah, you wanted to play earlier, remember? Now it’s my turn.”

“Tama…”

“Whatchu want, hmm? Imma need a little more convincing than that, sweetheart.” You whined and laid your head against the door, eyes gluing shut as his fingers teased close to your aching core but would never quite touch it. 

“Please…” you mumbled softly.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that. What were you sayin’?” He smirked, loving how desperate you were for him.

“Fuck, Tama, please. Please, just fuckin’ touch me alre- oh fuckkk.” His tongue making contact with your dripping folds cut you short, your eyes rolling back as his tongue ravaged your pussy. He moaned as he lapped at you, the vibration sending chills throughout your body. He lifts his head and blows cool air on your clit before wrapping his lips around the swollen bud, making you cry out his name and tangle your hands in his hair. He continued to assault your pussy with his tongue, and it wasn’t long before your legs were shaking underneath him.

“S-shit, Tama I-” He stops his movements, slowly rising back to his feet and giving you a sinister look. 

“Oh, you thought I was gonna let you cum so easily?” He turns you around, pressing your front against the cool surface of the door. “Nah, baby, you cum when I let you.” His tip pokes at your entrance before pushing its way in, the thickness of his cock filling you instantly. He places a hand on the side of your head, pushing it into the door as he pounds into you mercilessly. You moan his name loud, unable to control yourself as Tama fully dominates you.

“Fuckk, such a pretty lil’ slut f’me. Takin’ me so well.. you love this dick don’t you, baby girl? Tell Daddy how much you love his cock.” He continues to fuck you hard, your skin slapping echoing the room. “I- I, oh fuck, s-so good. I-”

“That’s it, mama, let the whole fuckin’ arena know who’s fuckin’ you this good.” He grabs your hair and pulls, arching your back and he slams his hips into you. You cry out his name, the new angle hitting your spot in all the right ways. You know you’re close- your pussy tightens around him and he groans. “Lost that attitude, didn’t you? All it took was to fill you full of good dick and you shut right up… fuck, baby, so fuckin’ tight f’me. Squeezing the fuck outta my dick. Keep that shit up and imma fill this pussy up.” 

“P-please..”

“Oh, you dirty fuckin’ slut, you want that, don’t you?” You whimper in response. “Imma give that shit to you baby, gotta cum for me first. C’mon, ma, nut all over this dick.” His hips drive into you deeper than before, daring you to come undone, and you do. You cum hard, your vision turning white and your limbs shaking violently as you release all over him. Your pussy tightens one last time and Tama curses your name, snapping his hips into you and releasing deep inside your pussy.  He stills inside you, allowing his cum to completely fill you as the two of you attempt to catch your breath. He plants kisses on the side of your neck, allowing you to ride out your orgasm. After a moment he pulls out of you, reaching down to your panties and moving them back in place, trapping his cum inside. You two rest for a moment, skin to skin as he holds you in his arms, the both of you stuck in a blissful trance until a loud knocking raps from the other side of the door. 

“Aye, y’all make up yet? Got a segment to get ready for, we’re coming in.” 

Shit.

[femsolid]

I've never watched Buffy the Vampire slayer, I'm curious what do you like about it?

Childhood sentimental attachment mostly. It's a classic and has influenced the vampire genre a lot, and it was super popular in Europe. I used to watch it every Saturday night with my mom and my sister when I was a kid. I was a huge fan. I would buy every magazine that talked about it and cover my bedroom's walls with posters of the show. And I feel like Buffy's character was a good role model for me back then. It was quite rare to see such a strong and independent female character on TV. And there were very clear feminist messages at times. I was taught by my father that girls only exist to serve men, but every Saturday I'd watch Buffy kick ass and make fun of men's authority. It helped.

Now, as an adult, I think it's well written and quite fun to watch. The show has a lot of qualities, but it's probably a bit outdated now, especially the first seasons that are mostly for teenagers of the 90s. We aged with the show. And it has its issues, of course, as it was made by a man. Still, with all its flaws, it remains my favourite. Where else can you watch a woman fight demons, vampires, gods, and werewolves, with her group of friends that include a lesbian couple that are also witches? There are funny episodes, dramatic episodes, scary episodes... And for seven seasons, Buffy never once talked about wanting to get married or to have kids. So yeah, I still love the show, but I'm also biased.

[a-hazbin-spider]

Angel nods in a nearly sleepy manner, not that he’d been ready to doze off, but it’s pretty much just nuzzling into the other, quiet and listening for all it was worth. It isn’t like he’s white noise, he’s willing to say this much, it isn’t often he hears this much. It’s precious to him, in a way that sentimental items are cherished.

Oh? Was that a laugh he heard? A breath maybe but almost sounded like a chuckle. He can feel his own ears perk, like listening for a pin to drop. Maybe he’d tell of other friends, the only he’d been introduced to in any form were Mimzy, and an assumption that Rosie was close enough to be one. Instead, it sounds like the fella was lonely. Or if not, then soundly alone. How long had he had any friends before they turn their back. Kinda seems shitty to him. Suddenly a little blood or dirt and that was it?

Huh. He is likely a little biased, the whole mob thing had people beating the brains from some and offing others. Did he ever feel close to any though- well regardless, he was scrappy, hadn’t killed really but, he wasn’t the one to cut ties anyway.

“Oww. M’sorry.” Odd the short response didn’t coo in a mockery of compassion or sympathy, but rather offered condolences in a manner that didn’t baby the other with pity. “Don’t worry. I ain’t afraid to be round you any more than tha other criminals I grew up with. I was a baby mob goon for fuck’s sake.” The thought makes him laugh a little, a soft chuckle at his back.

“Hm. That ain’t impossible. Kinda seems rude though. Not like I ever pegged them bastards in charge to ever really be good fer much, no tact. Not exactly honest or compassionate fer nobody either, innocent or not.” Cheeky, but it seems like authority wasn’t his thing no matter where it came from.

Tugging over his limbs had been a surprise, but not quite enough to yelp like any startled dog, just to make the arachnid’s eyes bug a little as he finds he gets to flop comfortably on the covers. A smile works over his mouth, this was nice and warm, and encouraged him to give into the contact. Arms and fingers secure and doting over the stag. How peaceful oddly enough. But this feels better, candid lounging like this is nicer than catching his breath in another john’s sheets and needing to pull himself up. The usual tangle of limbs didn’t allow him the positive touches like this. Who could imagine the violent could be so soft.

A deep breath moves him a smidge, lets him seemingly sink in a bit more. Though, getting another poke at his father amuses him enough to continue with it.

“Mmhm~ that’s true. I guess I do got one thing in his defense here. A while b’fore I bit it, he kinda cut ties. I weren’t his kid no mo’ I s’pose. That sucked at first but, like, I’m awesome, so it’s his loss really.”

With the typical customer-issued confidentiality, Angel had no problem keeping things quiet. Not even when he was alive. That isn’t to suggest that he was quiet in general, just that all the information would be kept with him until further disclosed. He’s no snitch, he’s a pest but he keeps the important things tucked away. Unless he had mad shit to talk about his boss, that was different. His boss was- a boss! Anyone had a right to vague complaints or bitching and moaning about it.

Either way, Angel’s image was never cuddly to the public, he hadn’t taken to being soft. But he did really enjoy this. Whatever the other decided he’d call it, Angel would take to it in a heartbeat. It felt peaceful. He felt an odd sense of security and warmth. He liked it, wouldn’t want to ruin a good thing like he is sure he had with so many others.

“Thirty-nine. That’s a pretty good number. You won that one between us, that’s for sure. Tha’ roof was pretty incredible luck too. There ain’t nothin’ easy when you’re on yer lonesome. An’ you kept it up anyway. You was smart, I’m willin’ to bet.” Angel didn’t have any doubt in his words, in fact, sounded pretty convinced. Not that the other gave him anything but a refined man to see and listen to.

It did surprise him though, a question like that one. He had… maybe thought of it, once upon a time. But, far as he’s concerned a funeral or grave- a service? He didn’t think past the fact that he would have been preserved for a bit in that blizzard dying as he did. His mouth opened to respond, but it took a good moment before he could find any words to pull out.

“A… grave? Yeah right..!” Laughing over it provided a less than charming snort, but he moves on quickly enough. “I dunno who would do it. I’d been on my own for a while at that point. And I doubt nobody had been lookin’. Who knows, I might be in a hole somewhere. May be under a name that might or might not belong to me. Can’t even tell ya if my Pops claimed the body. What can ya do?”

A shrug might give a light rock to their position, but nothing else. Deciding to answer that was making him crave nicotine. Weird. All his fingers do on that impulse is twitch however, he doesn’t just fish one out and light up, how rude would that be?

His eyes glance over the stag quickly, was that too much? He shouldn’t yap about it. It wasn’t his business really, but Angel didn’t shut him down. He got this far, why not? Not like it’s important.

“Ho-how about you? You think you had a grave? For your bones to stay safe in. It looked like ya had a few people that liked ya.”

[lovelyfirebouquet]

If you're an artist? I love you.

If you're an author? I love you.

If you crochet or knit? I love you.

If you sew? I love you.

If you're a carpenter? A painter? An architect? A shoemaker?

Create, love, continue bringing beauty in the world and leaving your mark. You are incredible, and I hope pieces of you keep making people happy long after you're gone.

[skunkes]

something so ensmallifying about not wanting to go home

[cologona]

I’ve gotten oversaturated on good sibling Tim and Dick stuff they’re all members of the deeply toxic family dynamic how about we let them suck just a little bit 2024.

[azaablue]

i write fanfic today because of the me who was 16 and sad and couldn't sleep so she started writing and it felt good and different and fun and overtime it became the thing that saved her in a very silly and also very real way.

also, i write for like five people on the internet who i think are nifty.

[sskk-manifesto]

Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )

[bonefall]

something that I feel like is ignored by everyone in the fandom is how lionblaze didn’t even mean to kill russetfur. he was trying to get her of off firestar, who she was killing, and she wouldn’t let go so he pulled harder and she broke. i haven’t read the books in a good few years but I remember that he was horrified. yeah, battling is their whole culture, and cats inevitably die from it, but everyone saw him as a monster for something he didn’t even mean to do. honestly, I feel like he would’ve been justified in scratching flametail up a bit when he walked over the border and started taunting him. medicine cats must also follow the warrior code, which means no trespassing

another thing is that everyone gives him crap for like. imagining himself killing heathertail even though they were definitely intrusive thoughts and he was clearly upset about them. as someone with intrusive thoughts myself it’s pretty disheartening to see people talk about how that makes him an obviously bad person (cat?)

i want people to acknowledge that he’s scared by his own strength, that he’s scared he’ll hurt those he cares about, and that he was very much struggling after accidentally killing russetfur. yes, he’s really not that good of a character, but he still has internal conflicts and a personal story, and after a certain point he just sees himself as a war machine, something to be used for the good of the clan, no matter how he feels about it

ShadowClan's hypocrisy in that battle always frustrated me in general. At various points in TNP, Po3, AND OotS, ShadowClan openly and flagrantly disrespects the code and attacks over this border constantly. Then the minute ThunderClan retaliates at all, suddenly they have to hand-wring about how sad it is that it came down to this

Russetfur can kill whoever she wants but Lionblaze defending his leader? That's just too far I guess. Like what happened to the goddamn Battle Culture? These pansies would never survive a battle for Sunningrocks.

I remember being a kid and wanting this battle for SEVERAL books, and then getting to this battle and... honestly I can't really remember much after it. It probably actually made me ragequit lmao. I definitely did not get to Flametail's death.

Bonefall Lionblaze

Anyway I spoke about the fight from a Bonefall Rewrite lens a couple days ago if you'd like to see that, including how I want Lionblaze to take away how he feels like Bramblestar used him as a war machine, Dovepaw thinks it's ironic he resents the very thing he's doing to her, and also what the political ramifications will be in ThunderClan (mixed but neutral).

In addition this battle is now going to actually be something that Bramblestar could have avoided. Firestar is dead by the end of Po3, so there's no need for false signs anymore. Bramble just throws his weight around; ShadowClan doesn't act like the hypocrites they are in-canon either.

As for Lionblaze, he is getting a full character arc in Po3! The climax of it is during the reworked Tribe Visit, where the Clan cats help to remove Flick's rogues. Lionblaze learns a lesson too well; that the point of strength is to use it to protect others, and the mindset causes him to shove his daughters Ivypool and Dovewing into harm's way.

Though I'm also working out how much of Lionblaze being terrified of his powers is staying, and what it will look like. I think a problem with canon is that so much of it really gets lost... because he DOES become a short-fused, impulsive war machine after OotS.

In-canon he almost mauls Heathertail, DOES maul Crowfeather, kills Russetfur, takes a life from Harestar, and infamously threatens Shadowsight... and only one of these actions was accidental.

In my rewrite I'm actually MASSIVELY mitigating this by removing the mauling and giving that to Hollyleaf... and I'm considering what sort of person he's going to be post-OotS as well, if threatening what is now his GRANDSON (father of dovewing) is actually something Bonefall Lionblaze would do.

But... I do try to hold close to canon. So the question comes down to;

Keep the earlier material where he is grappling with intrusive thoughts, and write a less violent character in future arcs

Eliminate the intrusive thoughts so that his later, current canonical personality isn't bad rep.

I am leaning more heavily towards eliminating the intrusive thoughts, in this situation. I value my portrayals of neurodivergency and I am feeling that the way I plan to write this character (pro-war, assertive, being feared by other Clans) would make for really bad implications if he was also dealing with intrusive thoughts, and not just standard legitimate "oh god i cant control my own strength" thoughts.

I'm still unsure though. Let me know what you think I should do in this situation. I can elaborate if more context is needed.

Canon Lionblaze and bad mental health rep

in-canon, the problem is Lionblaze doesn't just have intrusive thoughts that terrify him and he desperately avoids- he has violent, impulsive actions to match and is a legitimate danger to the people who anger him, before and after losing his powers.

(the 'after' is important because this is not only a result of magic powers)

Squirrel it away under canon's horrible representation of mental illness; the only character that has ever had intrusive thoughts in canon is "holding back impulses" he acts on with increasing frequency. It is a very problematic concept to begin with.

For those who don't know; Intrusive thoughts are unwanted by definition.

An intrusive thought is the worst possible thing your mind can conjure up in that moment and are very upsetting to experience. Whims are not intrusive thoughts. They're common with anxiety, depression, OCD, and PTSD; and it is extremely rare (and a sign of a BIG problem) that they are ever acted on.

To be clear though... Lionblaze has not had an intrusive thought that we know of since OotS. After worrying that he would hurt Cinderheart, but then cat-marrying her... it seems like they've just gone away.

It could be that we aren't in his POV anymore, or, it could be that they've abandoned this aspect of the character. Considering that TBC Lionblaze has ended up changing into a character that is a lot more violent and impulsive, it seems to be the second option.

[cruelsister-moved2]

reading odd girls and twilight lovers again and it's so baffling how the author goes out of her way to claim butch & femme lesbians were just blindly following heterosexual norms because they were too ignorant [working class] to perform enlightened dietrichesque androgyny instead, despite interspersing this take with graphic examples of the extreme violence they exposed themselves to as a result and the comments of upper&middle class lesbians which make it extremely clear that long before the criticism that it was supposedly 'unfeminist' they looked down on us for being working class, for 'embarrassing' 'respectable' lesbians in front of heterosexuals, for not conforming to ideals of femininity and most egregious of all for so-called feminists: because they didn't find us attractive.

the naked disgust these middle&upper class, gender-conforming lesbians displayed towards butch lesbians in particular, and the sense of ownership they feel over them as the most "visible" representation of lesbianism still feels shockingly familiar today, although it really lays bare the underlying classism in disdain for these typically working-class manifestations of masculinity and the total ignorance of their privilege in the ability "play" with androgyny when working class butches had to either risk violence at work, be unemployed, or hide who they were in order to put food on the table. it really is interesting to see how many criticisms of butch (and femme) identities start in a knee-jerk reaction of classism and misogyny and THEN grapple for some progressive values to explain why you can't treat a woman you don't find attractive like a human being.

[insert-funny-url-here]

Friendly reminder that it costs $0 to not buy a shitty, poorly-made, antisemitic game that directly funds transphobia!

[ifievertoldyou]

JUST FOUND AN OLD FIC RECS GOOGLE DOC WITH ME RECOMMENDING ATOL AGES AGO

[nosferatufaggot]

Those true crime copaganda shows where we literally hear the porkers aggressively yelling at these people and pointing guns at them and screaming instructions and then it cuts to the cops sitting in a room alone retelling the events and how it made them feel in the moment with a complete level head and every time I'm like "You are literally interviewing a domestic terrorist."

[aclosetfan]

i know i haven't posted any actual writing lately, and thank you all so much for being patient with me. I started a new job, and it's knocked me off my feet these last couple of months, which I fully expect it will continue to do, but I am still writing!! Just very slowly.

but as a lil thank you and as a way to get some feedback, maybe you'd be okay reading my prologue and first chapter rewrite of Another Buttercrush? It was too long and cumbersome to post on tumblr so I created a new fic on ao3 (link below). It's not a website I really like, but at this point, I don't think anyone's still on ffn and srsly, it's so long.

I debated doing this for a while now because I don't know when I'll be able to post another update and don't want to get anyone's hopes up, but these files have just been sitting there, weighing on my shoulders, and I really want feedback. If it's bad, I want to know, so I can try again.

and if i never get to this fic again lol at least I can give you this

I started Another Buttercrush in 2018! Five whole years ago, and I've made little to no progress on it because these last five years have been so life-altering. I graduated undergrad, I was very ill, I underwent so really intense surgeries, I started law school, I graduated law school, I passed the bar, my dog died :(, I got an adult job, and my anxiety has been one long continuous battle. I'm probably too old now to (poorly) be writing silly stories for a cartoon even older than myself, lol, but it and the friends I've made have been such a consistent comfort in my life that the idea of leaving hurts. <3 Thank you to all the friendly people and your continued patience. I would have never started writing without you.

Anyway, enough of being sappy; here's the chapter. Forewarning, when I was rewriting it, I cringed so hard at a majority of it (it's so very much a high school fanfic), but when I went to delete some of the scenes, my heart broke. Deleting the cringe is like deleting another buttercrush entirely, so I tried keeping it as close as possible to the original. It's still my shitty little story <3 I love her. I tried fixing characterization issues, a few plot holes, and added a few extra scenes :)

Hopefully, you all see this before you see the fic on ao3. I'm not posting it for the people active on that site. This is really just for my tumblr friends :) haha you're the ppl i talk to so you're the ones who get to see this sappy intro note.

[sentimental-idiot25]

I realized I’m a paragraph by paragraph writer.

I go into a prompt or a fanfic and have no clue what I’m going to write. I just start typing and hope it works.

You know how many times this works— for me personally….only like half the time so you know what happens to the other half…. they just rattle around in my brain for years. I’m thinking about my fic True Blue and Error.

No idea what I’m doing with them personally.

But thank you for enjoying Error!! Since you know that one is out……. justice for true blue….

Error started off as a request/suggestion by a mutual and I just rolled with it and now I’m scared that I don’t know how to end it lolol

I say this and will dedicate the next days of my life just thinking about the plot lolol

[todayisafridaynight]

HAVE BEEN ROTATING Y7 ARAKAWA IN RGGO ARAKAWA'S DRIP IN MY MIND FOR AEONS YOU SEE THE VISION....................

Listen. I think. I think it would work. I think we could've still won. The physics probably would've been a pain, but if I think about it as an echo of the red iin his costuming in the play at the start, and link it back to how the plot of the play comes to represent part of his life, it would [unintelligible]

But no for real, the sliver you can see of the snakeskin on Jo and the fact it's the lightest thing you can see on his whole outfit feels purposeful. It's still incredibly funny to me that whole thing was treated as a twist at all. But.

And the progression on account of the timeskip is sick too from a symbolic perspective. It's things like the 2019 tie having the exact same pattern as in 2000, but it's also now the only real color in his entire ensemble, the purple from his shirt relegated to the tie and the pink completely gone. Hanging on to the past (although I guess this is more RGGJo's thing), forcing his "self" into a smaller and smaller space, that kind of thing. If we go with Sololiquy for a moment, maybe there's also something there about things being livelier when Ichi was around, for better or worse.

All the leather is ostensibly much more luxurious, befitting of his rise in status, but it's also burying him further in these additional layers of security. The gloves DO pull it together, and they also leave him basically completely covered-up from head to toe, which I can't help find fascinating.

So, you know, he looks sick with the gloves on, but there's also a different Flavor when recognizing he had them on the first battle when he was hiding so much from Ichi, but in the second battle, where he hopes to come clean, he's bare-handed ("Ichi-vision" notwithstanding).

And I think it's also worth recognizing that the gloves would've offered some protection when he went to grab the blade, but he grabs it anyway in his bare hand. With the amount of force you apply when you swing a blade and it actually connects, that'd hurt him just as bad, but it shows he's past the point of caring about what happens to him even before he says so. (I still think we should've probably seen his hand cut and bleeding when out of Ichi-vision, but y'know.)

Much to think about...

NO I SEE YOUR VISION I SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING they could've done that.... true the physics would've been a pain but I think we can trade some of the effort that went into The Bread and put it towards the scarf and coat.....

The evolution of Jo's outfit in conjunction with the surrounding environment and circumstances really is mad interesting, and as someone who really enjoys 'storytelling' (idk if that's the exact word rn but i aint ever been good with words in the first place) through character design/wardrobe. Any note I coulda said you've already said for me, yet I still wish I had some more words to express how much I love the changes in his outfit and how it reflects himself and the story at that particular point 😷