#sensitive!billie

[bxllxebxtch]

Deep Cuts (2)

warnings: angst, crying, venting, sh, cursing (i think that's it)

"What are you doing here Billie.." You say, your voice stern but filled with hidden and pushed away emotions. "Why didn't you talk to me..." she says, her voice soft but raspy, she sounds like she's been.... crying. "You were fucking wrong. I loved you, i fucking loved you..." you say, your voice filled to the brim with anger and disappointment. "i-i...I'm sorry" she mumbles, her voice cracking with emotion. Your heart ached as you hear her soft voice crack, but you couldn't stop yourself. "You're pathetic..." You spit at her, her breathing turning heavy and rapid. She feels like she just got stabbed. Tears roll down her pink cheeks "P-Pathetic..." she repeats as she feels like you just stabbed her.

Fuck, you messed up. Her breathing turns rapid as she chokes on her words "Fuck, Billie...i-i didn't mean-" "S-Stop!" she yells, as she holds her knees up to her chest and holds her ears to shut off any unwanted noise. I get up and slowly walk towards her, you bend down and crouch on your knees. You caress her head softly "I-I'm sorry..." her body shudders with emotion and she breaks down "i-i missed you...missed you so fucking much...all you did was work...work...and fucking work". Your face contorts with anger "Well how the fuck did you want me to buy us food?!" You snap, you never yelled at her...no matter how mad you were, you never yelled.

Her eyes widened as she hears your tone in voice, her heart aches as she trembles her hands tightening around her legs sobbing. "F-Fuck you.." she mutters out, her voice trembling and cracking with emotion. "You know what...Fuck you too, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" you yell at her "Fuck you, fuck Anna, fuck everyone..." Tears stream down your face then you just leave Billie under the tree, soft and fragile in her state.

You are now on a bench, not to far away from Billie. You could hear her broken, heartfelt sobs from under the tree. You could hardly contain yourself from running to her and hugging her, loving her the way you used to love her...no...the way you still love her, you never stopped loving her...and you know you never will. You couldn't take it anymore.

You still loved her, you never stopped. You can't hurt her and leave her like that. You slowly walk towards the tree wears she is sitting crying and trembling.

Just one hug

Right?

You knee down Infront of her and hug her, holding her close. You soothingly rubbed her back, you shouldn't have yelled at her. Her hands grip you shirt as she shakes and trembles in your arms, her sobs broken. Her tears soak into you shirt "I-I'm sorry..." you mumble softly, your voice filled to the brim with emotion and regret. "I-I....I-I c-can't..." she mumbles, her words choked with tears and broken emotions. Your arms tighten around her "W-Why Anna...Why...I loved you...I Love You..." Your voice is choked with emotion and regret.

You hold her closer as you both fall apart like broken glass, cutting each other deeply with each word. You know she's sensitive and she can't live without you, you regret ever stray word that left you mouth. Words that cut her deeper then a knife. She didn't want to touch or see you, neither did you...but you both needed each other.

Don't do that again...

Your words cut

Deep Cuts...

[28ms28]

Ferrari hopes and dreams

[scarlet--wiccan]

Oh God I was really hoping the backstory that was leaked for Billy was fake... just heard about the new episode and it turns out it wasn't. why would they choose this over adoption or reincarnation-

It's bad! I really feel like the M C U goes out of its way to interpret these characters in bad faith and come up with the worst possible versions of their stories. I've said this before, but everything about Wanda's origins and the nature of her power seems designed to make her an objectively worse person who is more directly responsible for causing harm than her comics counterpart, but is also weirdly set on punishing her for existing and having trauma. She's simultaneously more doomed by the narrative, and infinitely less deserving of redemption.

With Billy, they took a situation that, while complex and, at times, difficult to parse, is ultimately miraculous and joyful, and they made it just.... incredibly grim. There is no real distinction between Billy Maximoff and Billy Kaplan in the comics-- they're the same person, given a second chance at life and the great fortune to reconnect with his original family, in a way that doesn't invalidate or erase the second. And, again, I want to emphasize that when YA and CC were written, Wanda had Jewish heritage, so I don't think there needs to be any awkwardness in the transfer between the Maximoff and Kaplan families, and the text never does anything to imply that Billy's cultural upbringing is any less valid, or any less central to his character after his origins are revealed.

Here, they created a false dichotomy between the two characters, killed one them off, and made the other into a body-snatcher. That is so much darker, and so much more tragic for the Kaplans-- and it creates uncomfortable questions about their relationship, and Billy's identity, that I don't think can ever be neatly resolved. I will say that, thus far, I don't think the show explicitly disavows "William's" heritage, or writes off Billy's relationship with the Kaplans, the way some people are reporting. He doesn't actually remember his life before the switch, so it's not a total takeover, and at points, the episode seems to imply that he's somehow both, and neither-- a new gestalt.

But I don't trust these writers to execute that concept with integrity, or even consistency. In WV and MoM, Wanda's motives, sense of self, and relationship to her powers repeatedly change at the drop of a dime, and we're seeing the same thing, here, with the abrupt change that takes place when Billy reveals his identity. The shift in personality, escalation of power, and the vague implication that he's been masterminding this whole excursion makes no sense with the established timeline-- this is all happening within 24 hours of him even learning that Wanda had kids, let alone that he might be one of them, not to mention hearing about both Agatha the Witches Road for the first time. And up until that point, he really was just an earnest kid. The heel-turn feels silly and juvenile, and the needle drop at the end of episode #5 underscores that a little too perfectly-- his "bad guy" act is just as ill-fitting and unsubstantiated as the Eilish's edgy, wannabe-thug aesthetics.

Obviously, the most important issue here is not the quality of writing, but where this character falls into the spectrum of whitewashing and erasure. The fact that Locke is not Jewish but, before the switch, is playing a Jewish character-- and, specifically trespassing on prayer and religious ceremonies-- is a problem. I've seen a lot of different opinions expressed by a lot of different people within the community about who can or can't play Jewish characters, but I think we can all agree that this is worth criticizing, especially given the larger context of repeated erasure and historical distortion against Jewish and Roma people in this franchise.

But I also want to emphasize that, because of what was done to Wanda, and the franchise's insistence on conducting blatant anti-Romani racism, there was never going to be a truly authentic or acceptable version of this character. Now matter how they cast the role, a significant part of his background had already been erased, and he was already saddled with significant racist baggage. I am very, very tired of white people and Young Avengers fans overlooking that fact.

[leporinelou]

no but can you imagine steve realising how much billy actually cries like maybe it’s been playing on his mind since the night at the byers because he happened to notice billy tearing up before knocking steve out but steve just brushes it off like oh yeah.. adrenaline, stress, whatever.. we’ve all been there but then the two of them get close and steve says the wrong thing and pisses billy off and steve’s left sitting in his car wondering if that really happened, if billy hargrove really just slammed the door behind him with tears streaming down his face

but steve brushes it off again because he doesn’t know how to bring it up and billy’s very billy the next time they see each other and steve doesn’t want to rock the boat

but

it keeps happening and soon enough steve’s like oh.. this is like, a thing, huh? and he gets good at noticing the signs, starts being able to really comfort billy when things get too much, when he’s had a shitty day, when neil’s being neil

and if steve strokes billy’s hair when he pulls him in, who’s to say? if he presses a kiss to the top of billy’s head sometimes.. well, he’s just being a good friend

yeah.. that’s what it is

[lovelyymeq]

gotta lock in after

[pale-ski]

I REDESIGNED HERRRR

[fizzigigsimmer]

I think Billy writers should indulge in Billy cosplay tiktoks every blue moon. Because I love him and I love the way we write him, but I forget all the time what it felt like to view him through fresh eyes but these fans be out here reminding me.

Billy Hargrove walks like a cowboy. He's a bag of trouble and he doesn't care who knows it. The ground shakes when he enters his first scene to Rock You Like A Hurricane. It's part of a front yes, but it's still part of him and it all comes from a place.

[mynameismanze-blog]

I don't understand how you can be upset when someone says something slutty for a fan base... That literally makes great smut a lot. (No shame, just saying.)

[baronessblixen]

Skipping anon because >:DDD but:

How did you end up getting Billy? I don't think I've heard that sequence of events, if you don't mind~.

Oh! I don't mind at all - though I'm afraid it's not a very interesting story. I lost my first dog in December 2014 and knew pretty early on that I would want another one. I think I started looking around in summer 2015 and visited a puppy that I almost got - his name was Bobby - but somehow it didn't feel right.

I moved into my current apartment and started looking more seriously. Saw a pic of Billy as a tiny puppy and fell in love right away. Dragged my dad with me to visit Billy (and his siblings) and it was just love at first sight. I brought him home two months later 😁 that was nine years ago. Little dude is now a little senior.

Thanks for asking!

[cannotgiveafuck]

Thinking about Billy Batson and horror and the kind of emotional / psychological damage that would be wrought on a child in that genre when he’s smart and savvy and could turn into a Champion of Magic, but is still very much a vulnerable kid. More aware of the world than those his age, but sees things through a lens adults cannot. Privy to things that only show themselves to those most likely to see them.

Anyway, have a little snippet. Might pick it back up again later.

This was the fifth night in a row that Billy was getting by on little to no sleep.

Don’t get him wrong, he could go a day or two if the going gets tough. Sometimes the winters were especially cold, or the summers really hot. Sometimes the storms got so bad that his place had leaked or the wind threatening to knock everything away. And sometimes, not now, of course, but back when it happened, sometimes Uncle Ebenezer had a bad few days that made sleeping in that house neigh impossible.

So, truly, Billy was no stranger to lack of sleep. He could survive, trust him. He could survive just about anything. But five nights was pushing it, even for a fellow like him.

The first night hadn’t even been noticeable. All sorts of noises happened in the apartment he was squatting in. There was the family down the hall with the crying baby, and the couple a few doors down that had shouting arguments, an old man across from him that couldn’t hear very well so his late night television was always turned up, and Madison next door had her new boyfriend over a lot and they were quite loud. So, Billy was used to all sorts of loud noises - but, see, those were normal noises. Just as traffic outside or a car alarm or police siren were all normal.

What wasn’t normal was the silence that shrouded over the apartment the moment his clock hit midnight.

But, Billy didn’t even notice that first night. So tired from the week long mission he was away for with the Justice League, his head hit his pillow the moment he got back and while he wanted to be out like a light, he spent most of the night tossing and turning. And really, he did not notice anything the second or third nights either. Granted a few days leave from hero work, Billy spent that time doing seasonal errands around the neighborhoods and shops. He had to earn money somehow, and not a lot of tasks were out there for eleven year olds to do. Those nights, too, were of fitful bouts, his eyes closed and willing sleep to really pull him under, but true rest just out of reach.

It was that fourth night, when he was laying there, eyes opened and staring at the ceiling with its ages old stain and crack, listening to the normal noises of the apartment complex - that was the night he noticed something was off. When all that sound was just... gone.

Billy didn’t even really notice at first. Eyelids heavy with every blink, but sleep avoiding him, the ringing in his ears that only silence could make. And when he did notice it, his brows furrowed in confusion. Thought that maybe, for once, everyone finally decided night time was for rest. Wondered if everyone else was snuggling up in their beds and under their blankets with the night chill really creeping in fierce, as it does when the heat goes out or couldn’t keep up with the winter winds. And sure, it was May, but man, it really was very cold inside all of a sudden.

He pulled the covers tighter over him, burrowing into them to stave off the shivers suddenly wracking through his small body. Eyes closed, urging sleep to please, please let him rest, Billy heard the wails of a child, or maybe a baby, just down the hall. 

Billy thought, you and me both, kid...

The fifth night, the last one he had before heading back to the Watchtower, Billy couldn’t explain why he was still awake. Staring at the ceiling again, watching the reflected lights of cars go by, listening to the old man’s television play an infomercial - he thought maybe he should do more Marvel work overnight at this rate. At least he’d be doing something useful with his time instead of trying to get sleep that would never happen. At least Marvel never was bogged down by the heavy weight of human limits.

Silence fell over the apartments again.

There was that wailing child again, too.

By the time Billy started to tune into it, really listen to the sobs, he was sitting up from his mattress, gaze on his front door. The cries were right on the other side.

Logically, Billy knew that as a hero, he should be rushing toward that door. He should be pulling it open and checking on the kid who should not be wandering the hallway crying away. He should be seeing what was wrong and try to fix it, save the day as he usually did. It was what Marvel would have done.

However, Billy did not move a muscle. He stayed right there on his bed on the floor, staring at the door he knew was locked several times over. His body refused to do anything that involved getting up and opening the door. His body barely seemed to want to breathe. His mouth shut tight and his lungs taking short, quiet breaths, even as his heart jack hammered in his chest.

Something was wrong.

Something was wrong, and not with him. Billy didn’t survive the streets this long by not listening to his instincts.

And right then, as scratching and pounding started up against the door to try to get inside - Billy’s instincts told him not to move. Told him not to let that kid inside because that the thing on the other side wasn’t a kid at all. Not when its cries got loud and lower and more guttural with every shake of the doorknob.

Not when the words that seeped through sent shivers down Billy’s spine. Made him grip the blankets, almost made him call forth the power of Shazam - the shriek of: I’m hungry, let me in, let me in, I’m hungry, hungry, hungry.

[piratefishmama]

i wonder if the cast ever found Flayed Billy to be absolutely terrifying to act with. I'm rewatching ST out of boredom and i'm at battle of starcourt now and Dacre is terrifying as Flayed Billy.

Like Dacre is super charming and clearly an absolute sweetheart but Flayed Billy is honestly terrifying.

His strength, the predatorial way he reacts to things, that one scene where El tries to push him back in the mall and he just slams her head back against the wall then throws her against the other wall, the efficiency with which he takes them all down one by one, like they're nothing to him. They're completely defenseless against him and his strength.

Facing that kind of ferocity even acting has got to be at least a little intimidating.

The Flayer picked one hell of a host when it came to Billy, Will was clearly taken through necessity, Will was the only one who could walk between the worlds, he was the only one accessible at that time.

but given the choice of host... it knows how to pick em.

[lumaxramblings]

if i see one more person say that jonathan isn't a raging abuser like billy because he "had support, unlike billy" i'm going to snap. what support was that, exactly????

[merrysithmas]

love how they depicted divination and psychic/ oracle talent in this ep. so well done/real. also loved how every person was the personification of a tarot card in former scenes, very beautiful

[g1rlr0b1n]

Damian: I never know what to say to people at funerals.

Billy: neither do I, I'm terrible.

Jon: Just say "I'm sorry for your loss" then move on

Damian: oh ok.

*later at a funeral*

Damian: I'm sorry for your loss. Move on.

[yantao-enthusiast]

can some fucking people stop being to celebrities like “oh this person is either gay or queerbaiting because their personality is making me interpret them as queer because they act ‘stereotypically’ gay and that if you act like this you have to be queer. so we’re gonna either force this person to come out via peer pressure when they may not want to or be ready to or bully them for acting a certain way if they’re not queer because that’s the only way i can accept these people acting this way.” it’s really fucked up, based on toxic patriarchal values, and plain homophobic. analyze these parts about yourself and put a stop to it. it’s not funny. it’s not doing the lgbtq community a favor. it’s an asshole thing to do and you better be leaving that shit in 2023.

[just-bendy]

To all the Bendy’s(if possible), how did you all meet

GROWLER: Let's just say... a very bad place, and don't cha even think about askin' about it!