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iwritethat · 5 years ago

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UnreQUITed - Part 4

Request: Unrequited part 4 requests in general

A/N: FINALLY!! Here it is, the finale, I hope it isn’t a disappointment - no guarantees tho :’)

Warnings: Angst(???), swearing

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~ Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~

Two shots.

Piercing and heart stopping.

They continued to echo even months after they'd been released, they haunted those who overheard like a temperamental ghost and every time successfully provoking feelings of guilt, pain, regret.

"(Y/n) is okay y'know..." Jasons calm yet frustrated voiced snapped Dick out of his overthinking trance, the cold breeze of Gothams evening setting a tense atmosphere between the two brothers. The eldest remaining eerily silent.

"The assassin that shot her is dead by the way." He continued with a more dangerous topic and little remorse, after noting Dicks lack of response that is.

"You shouldn't have done that." Nightwing gave a heartless sigh, tone lacking any of its usual warmth - a new normalcy over the recent months.

"Oh trust me - I wish it had done it, but someone beat me to it."

"Who?" Dick flicked his head toward his brother, skeptical eyes narrowing in confusion whilst Jason simply gazed over the vast array of stones, his breath leaving it's trace on the cold winds surrounding them.

"Me." The cruelly familiar voice brought killer glares to both vigilantes, their eyes translating their harboured hatred toward his damn audacity. He had some nerve or a death wish making his presence known here, to the brothers he was trespassing on sacred ground which they did not take lightly under the current circumstances.

"(Y/n) was important to me too, so I killed the bastard myself."

"You don't get to say that name! It's your fault she was even in this mess Slade!" Of course the explanation was not wanted, Dicks immediate vile retaliation proof of that though it didn't intimidate the former assassin, nor discourage his intent by a fraction.

"No Grayson, it's yours. (Y/n) was an ex assassin like me, the League kill deserters but since she was around Damian they left it be. Of course, the moment (Y/n) left because of you she became a target. Though she didn't realise it, I had her under my employment so I could protect her just as she'd do for me. But yet again, you pulled her away and (Y/n) died taking a bullet for you." Slade casually finished but untamed anger resided in his voice, unfortunately it was dripping in truth - the League of Assassins were cautious when confronting Slade Wilson, especially when you two were together as you'd always worked efficiently as a duo.

The harsh response left the two silent - Jason hadn't much left say, but he could feel the pure unadulterated rage radiating from Dick like a barrier pushing people away - Slade took the opportunity to fulfil his original purpose, string past them to place a single red rose under the engraving of ‘(Y/n) (L/n)’.

——Months Earlier——

The shooter stumbled in the distance, no doubt armoured enough to prevent a shot being fatal although you couldn't quite dissect what was occurring around you until you heard Jason's voice echo from Nightwing's communicator

"I missed! These fucking rubber bullets I swear I'm switching back to the real deal -"

Relief flooded your veins, yourself slipping around the corner and sliding down the wall as you tried desperately to overhear as much as you could.

"You got him, thank you Ja-"

"No I didn't! He shot! Dick he shot!" That silenced the love of your life, his blood running cold considering he couldn't find your figure anywhere in his peripheral vision - only splatters of crimson marking where you once stood. Where you'd stepped in front of him. He felt sickeningly feint, unable to compose himself of the gut wrenching worry radiating from his body.

It's like your mind went blank as soon as he'd ask anything of you and you'd agree on instinct, you'd die for that man if he so much as needed it...

Your past thoughts almost made you laugh, a weak cough replacing the gesture and it seemed you'd predicted your own future rather accurately even if you didn't know it at the time. Regretfully you weren't as silent as you'd hoped, Dick skidding down to your level and meeting your smug gaze with sheer regret once zeroing in on the sound, all you could offer was a kind smile and playful punch to his arm despite your pained wince.

"Hey Dickiebird, did Jay get him?"

"Don't - Don't move, you're gonna be okay." It was unclear whether he was attempting to convince you or himself of that blatant lie, you were beyond comforting and had already accepted your fatal mistake whereas he remained stupidly optimistic. A facade for your benefit by your judgement.

"Yeah you're right, I'm going to be just fine and so are you... But could you please do me one last favour?" Either way you played along, irises betraying the sympathetic smile you'd adorned.

"Anything."

"See me your best friend, just one last time and remember that I love you alright." It was merely a platonic request, his memory shot back to the photographs you'd taken and the message inscribed on them.

"I - I can't do that..." Dick sorrowfully responded, once again meeting your eyes with regret as you lolled your head back against the wall trying to withhold your tears concocted from both the splitting puncture and his decline but you couldn't let that show through your haphazard reply.

"I suppose I deserve that."

It was true, you'd disappeared from his life for 6 months without warning or trace. A friend wouldn't do that, shouldn’t do that, but you had to think of your self preservation for once.

"I wish I could... but I can't see you as just a friend anymore, not now, I - because I -" His tone was so painstakingly genuine, so filled with an array of warring emotions that you had to do a double take to ensure you were hearinh him correctly.

"Don't." You knew where it was headed and honestly you didn't want to hear it anymore, once upon a time you'd have given everything to hear those 3 beautiful words, words that'd bring euphoria - now you were a third of the way there and all it brought was nausea.

"It's too late."

He silenced himself, your voice derived of it's signature charm only sharpening the cut of your words. What hurt most was the the painful truth of them, he was too late and he knew that - you deserved this side of him months if not years ago but he was both blind and too apprehensive to fan those glowing flames. Instead choosing to suffocate them with the placement of another that could never burn as brightly.

Although despite your tongue, your eyes held those flames he'd once bathed in and he understood that you'd felt it too, a conversation worth a thousand words was conveyed as well as the hopeless feelings in your hearts that created a comfortable silence. It didn't ease the plague of memories, nor answer the countless what if's swirling your mind but it helped.

"I need you to call Damian for me, I won't leave him again without saying goodbye this time." Your voice was merely a whisper, one that was obeyed disheartenedly but quickly and soon Damian's bored tone left you smiling.

"What Grayson?"

Dick however not so much, it took a moment to organise his emotions enough to disclose the situation in the most delicate way - he'd managed that but his unsteady tone let him down.

"You - Ah, (Y/n) needs to talk you alright?"

"That's not how you start a conversation, what's -" The wait was already killing you and you couldn't hold back any longer, you didn't want to explain - only enjoy one last conversation without underlying sympathy or guilt that'd surely surface once he discovered your condition.

"Hi Dami, I'm sorry I didn't get to properly see you when I came back."

"There's still plenty of time (L/n), how about a walk tomorrow?" He seemed calm, you could practically hear him shake his head over the phone with that classic TT.

"I - I can't, I'm leaving but I wanted to tell you this time, and I know that I'm going to miss you so much Damian. S-so you better look after your dumbass brothers whilst I'm gone." It made you happy, undeniably so with your tone laced with playfulness that you felt you needed, felt like things would return to how they used to be.

"Where are—" Damian cut himself off, he was perceptive in every sense of the word and observant enough to hear the way you bit back tears even if not in sight. He remained silent for a few seconds, long enough for you to close your eyes in order to keep the tears at bay knowing he'd now read between the lines and was finding the most comprehensible way to deal with it. With the fact that you're leaving. And won't be coming back this time.

"I'm proud to call you my companion (Y/n), I hope you find happiness in the next life and know that I will carry you with me, always." Initially it was strong, a false charade to both comfort you and hide his betraying emotions but neither of you mentioned anything. It was better this way, silent understanding and respect.

"Me too Damian, thank you for everything."

"Goodbye sister. And (Y/n), please forgive Grayson's idiocy..." He was hesitant on the last sentence, and you could each detect the shared heartache regarding your final conversation yet remained composed purely for the emotional well-being of the other.

"Always, see you Dami."

When you hung up, you couldn't hold back the sobs any longer, practically choking on the pent up emotion in them. Dick remained quiet, pulling you into his shoulder and soothingly running his fingers through your hair, he feared that if he spoke he would fall apart too, especially when the only person he could truly blame was himself. He held you for what he wished could be an eternity, yourself pulling back with a watery gaze that apologised for your breakdown despite knowing there was no need to.

"Dick what's happening?! Is (Y/n) okay?!"

Jasons’ voice - it was erratic, demanding and his dire question lead to Dick and yourself exchanging a sentimental but knowing glance, weak smiles had been ruthlessly defeated and you could only gently rest your forehead against Nightwing's seeking useless reassurance.

"Fucking answer me!" It grew more desperate now with the growing animosity on Jason's side but Dick couldn't even vocalise the situation, he didn't want to - that would make it real.

"She's..."

Jason's deductions were quick, the broken tone of his brother being the obvious indicator but his initial outbreak was frustration.

"No, fuck no! Everyone I - damn it... You tell her that I love her! She needs to know, tell her for me in case I don't get there in time."

He gave no chance to respond, the communicator muting once he'd finished and you managed to make light of it now that Dick could barely look at you.

"I'm gonna miss him, never knew he cared that much with the amount of shit he gives me." You released a pained laugh, ending short with a wince as your fingers tightened around your wound and you could see Dick empathise, instinctively aiding in your efforts to cease the bleeding whilst maintainining a close proximity.

"When Jason cares, he really cares..." Was all the eldest could correspond, he didn't quite understand his brothers feelings toward you as it was a subject Jason actively dodged but it frustrated Dick to no end.

His brother could say those 3 words to you so effortlessly, with so much meaning, and yet he could barely even acknowledge that feeling in his heart for the past 4 years. For Jason it wasn’t being in love, he no idea what it felt like to be hopelessly in love with you but Dick had years of suppressed experience - for him, it was like watching the sun fade from the sky and he desperately wanted to wake up from this nightmare, to race to your apartment to find you boredly scrolling through your phone and he'd tell you how he felt then and there. Even now, at a time when you deserved them, more than anything, it was the one thing he could give you that'd hopefully make you smile - feel something other than the lightheaded tiredness of blood loss.

So then, why didn't you want them?

"This isn't how it was supposed to go (Y/n), I finally found you after missing you for so long and I still couldn't give you anything worthwhile... I'm so sorry for being such an idiot!" At his crumbling tone, you lifted from his shoulder, already finding difficulty in keeping your eyes open due to the sheer lethargy of your body but pushed on regardless.

"That's more than enough Dick." You shook your head silencing him with your content expression, and your free hand brushing through his hair. Instantly he captured your hand relaxing slightly with your gesture but soon was overcome with contrasting frustration.

"How is it enough? You took a bullet for me! Why didn't you let me take the hit for you?! Our roles would be reversed and you'd be safe, which is all I care about -" You refused to let him finish, refused to watch him crumble under the weight of blame he'd placed on his shoulders and the only way you could clear his mind was a simple one.

You met your lips with his, Dick instantly melting into you with furrowed brows but he remained gentle, aiming to display everything he had in these few intimate moments he had with you. Carefully you pulled back, meeting his apologetic gaze with your soft one before leaning against his side, head resting against the crook of his neck as you closed your eyes.

"It's enough because you're here now, when it mattered most you were always there for me even if it negatively impacted your life. I loved you for that, for choosing me when I wouldn't even choose myself. So thank you, for being you. I love you, don't forget that." You voice was incredibly gentle, a sincerity to it that allowed him to feel the high regard you still held him in much like you felt his and with your breath slowing to dangerously distant rhythms you both basked in the warm contentment.

Dicks fingers ran up and down your side in a soothingly slow manner, and when accompanied by the balanced beating of his heart seemed like enough to lull you into a state of heavy slumber. The pain had numbed now which only encouraged the magnetic sensation of blissful peace and though the majority of your senses had failed you - the damp smell of Gothams air faded minutes ago, as did your awareness to the clutches of the nipping wind - your hearing remained semi active, weak enough to capture the sentimental murmur of your best friend.

"I love you."

The ones you'd longed to hear ever since he'd won you over to his side all those years ago, after all of the adventures and after all of the connections you'd forged so with them, you slipped into the arms of eternal sleep.

For once, he loved you.

Not her.

——Present——

"We cannot change what happened, and (Y/n) wouldn't want you to blame yourself so I apologise for my recent words - instead, let the blame die with the assassin who killed her." Slades' unexpected and most likely sole apology earned Dicks genuinely confused gaze, the hero still adamant that his decisions were ultimately responsible but hearing the reluctant kindness eased his current internal war.

Yet he knew, Slade only offered such a lifeline out of his loving respect for you. Yet again you'd inadvertently provided your warmth to save him and he couldn't even thank you for it anymore.

Dick glanced back to your sculpted gravestone once more, Slade walking to his side with his usual deadpan expression but less edge to his tone as he too had felt the familiar pain of lost love before.

"She'd want you to have this." Handing the small object to Nightwing he kneeled at your stone giving his silent last blessings before disappearing into the surrounding fog of the graveyard. Next time they'd encounter each other it'd be filled with violence no doubt, but whilst standing before your spirit neither opponent had the intention.

Dick flipped the thin item in his hand, recognising the Polaroid as the one he'd given you before you disappeared as a good luck charm, the one from his Robin days when you'd first ran into each other and the one he'd so innocently written on as a futile attempt to at least hint at the love he carried for you.

'To my one and only. ~ Love your Best Friend.'

However, upon closer inspection he'd noticed the addition of your gracefully inked handwriting, though, your intention behind it will be forever unknown to him.

'Dick Grayson, the best person anyone could ask for - don’t ever change, even if our paths no longer cross. ~ All my Love, (Y/n).’

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Tagging: @palmtoplion , @lionjelli , @givemebooksorgivemedeath , @sun-through-canyon

#dick grayson #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson x reader #nightwing #nightwing imagine #nightwing x reader #dc #dc imagine #UnreQUITed #batfam

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justfinishedreading · 4 years ago

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The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

It has been at least 8 months since I finished reading this novel, and now I’m finally posting the last part of my review.

Part 3 – Margarita, Feminist Icon or Romantic Cliché?

Spoilers.

The Master, a thirty-something recluse male writer, first sees Margarita walking down the street. She has in her arms a bouquet of yellow flowers. The Master follows her, they exchange hellos and she asks him if he likes her flowers. He says no. She proceeds to throw the flowers in the gutter.

This is not a promising introduction to our heroine: a heroine who is quick to throw something away because a random man dislikes it. The situation doesn’t get any better after that; the two become infatuated with each other, and she becomes obsessed with his writing, with his “genius”, so much so that it is she who names him “The Master”. For me a clichéd classical heroine is characterized by two things: first she is young and pure, pure in spirit and body (i.e. meek and clueless). Secondly, she is hopelessly dedicated to her man, he is all she lives for. Now on the first point Margarita does not qualify, she’s a married woman having an affair with another man, not surprising considering Bulgakov’s taste for married women. But Margarita absolutely fulfils the second criteria: her main characteristic as a character is how unfailingly devoted she is to her lover.

The novel is split into two parts and if it weren’t for the events of the second then her character would be very dull indeed. In the first part most of the action is focused on the Devil’s appearance in Moscow and the chaos his companions inflict on the inhabitants of the city. We’re briefly introduced to the characters of the Master and his lover Margarita. We’re told of how she supported his writing, and how he fell into depression when his novel about Jesus Christ and Pontius Pilate was ostracized by the Russian literary scene. There’s a passage in the novel in which Bulgakov explains that Margarita married young, now years later she’s living in a nice house, she’s a woman of leisure, she has money and her husband is decent enough, so why is she so unhappy? Bulgakov argues that she clearly needs the Master, she needs to live with him in that hole in the wall apartment and share his sorrow and pour herself into his work. Well Bulgakov you missed the mark. Margarita is so insanely attached to the Master’s novel (he gets jealous that she cares more for it than for him) that it seems clear to me that what she really needs isn’t the Master but for herself to get a job as an editor. What she needs is a challenge.

The first part of the novel jumps from character to character in alternating short comedic scenes, it is only in part two that the novel starts to feel more like a novel, it is the first time that more than two chapters (five to be exact) are dedicated to the same storyline: Margarita.

In this second part, one of the Devil’s companions offers Margarita a way to be reunited with her precious lover, whom she hasn’t seen in a long time, ever since he, willingly, disappeared from her. She is given a cream and told to apply it at midnight, she does so and turns into a witch, she feels a sense of liberation, removes all her clothes, grabs a broom and flies out into the night. After a few incidents she then meets the Devil and makes a bargin with him: he offers to reunite her with the Master if she will be the hostess at his Ball for the dead tonight. She accepts and fulfils her part perfectly and in return the Devil delivers her the Master and wishes them a happy life.

I have to say the second part of the novel, which relates to Margarita’s story, is what I enjoyed reading the most, it was a thrill to follow her new freedom and sense of adventure and wonder, and frankly a relief to be following a linear narrative. Margarita is the only character in the novel who takes action, the only one to be brave enough to face the Devil, take on his challenges and gain what she wants in the end.

And yet Margarita became a witch and got involved in the Devil’s business, she’s a heroine but one who gets mixed up with unholy things, and even before that she was an adulterer. In this sense she is a new type of heroine. There is a key moment in the Devil’s Ball when Margarita has to greet the Devil’s guests who are all dead sinners. She greets a woman who is deranged and keeps going on about a handkerchief, when she was alive she worked in a café, the owner “pressed her to join him in the pantry once, and nine months later she gave birth to a boy: she carried him off to the wood and stuffed a handkerchief into his mouth and then buried the boy in the ground. At the trial she said she had nothing to feed the child with.” To this Margarita asks what about the café owner? And one of the Devil’s minions replies: “what ever has the owner got to do with it! After all, he didn’t smother the baby in the wood!”

Now in the afterlife this woman is everyday presented with a handkerchief with a blue border identical to the one she used to kill her child, every day she destroys it and every morning she is presented with it anew, she is being forever tormented by the handkerchief, by her crime. When Margarita finishes her service to the Devil she asks that the torment to this woman be stopped. This shows a higher, more complex level of compassion than we usually see in romantic heroines. It’s easy to show a heroine to be compassionate and charitable to those who are innocent and poor, but here is compassion and understanding of how a person can be driven to acts of evil, and how they can be forgiven. And an acknowledgment of the man’s part in a woman’s ruin.

So apart from the character Margarita, are there any other moments that could tell us what was Bulgakov’s attitude towards women? Well whenever there are public incidents in The Master and Margarita, Bulgakov specifies that there are women screeching and wailing, implying that women will always be the ones to loose composure first and be “hysterical”. A character, angry with himself, exclaims “An idiot, a foolish woman, a coward! Carrion’s what I am, not a man!”. When one of the Devil’s minions approaches Margarita for the first time, he exclaims “Difficult people, these women!” when she is confused by his cryptic messages, a few minutes later he warns her “No dramas, no dramas”.

And then there’s Nakedness, nakedness is an important theme, there are five instances of nakedness: 1. The Devil has a group of four minions, one of whom is a woman, and she is always naked. Her nakedness is used to enthral and surprise her male victims on a number of occasions, but she is also described as a maidservant, who later in the book kneels down and rubs the Devil’s feet. 2. At the Devil’s stage performance in a theatre, his goons offer the people money, which later disappears, and to the women new frocks and shoes, which they exchange their old dresses for and change into on stage behind a curtain. Later on as they are leaving the show the dresses disappear and they are left naked. Nakedness here is used to embarrass. 3. Margarita and her maid turn into witches and go naked, this seems to be about liberation, liberation from social restraints, an abandonment to freedom, to adventure, to mischief. 4. The new witches meet a drunk fat man by a lake. Nakedness here reflects this man’s idiocy. 5. Women and black servants at the Devil’s Ball are naked. All male guests are formally dressed, the female guests wear nothing except for fancy shoes and elaborate headdresses. Serving the party are “motionless naked negroes with silver bands on their heads”. Is it liberating that the women are naked? Or is it just an indulgence for the men to feast their eyes upon? And to make the male readers giddy? Later in the party, the women, (and only the women) take off their shoes and jump into a large pool filled with champagne and get drunk.

After hours and hours and hours of serving as hostess at the Devil’s Ball, Margarita and the Devil are about to part ways, she has fulfilled her part of the bargain and now it is the time for the Devil to fulfil his and return the Master to her. But the Devil says nothing and neither does Margarita. She has worked so hard and been through so much and is about to walk away without demanding what is right: the payment for her services. As she is just about to leave the Devil exclaims: “Correct! (…) That’s the way! (…) never ask for anything! Never anything, and especially of those who are more powerful than you. They’ll make the offer themselves and give everything themselves.” What bullshit. I don’t know how exactly but I grew up with this belief, never ask for anything, if you deserve it, it will be given. What utter bullshit. I read in a study that one contribution to men getting more promotions at work than women was simply because men had more confidence in asking for promotions, whilst women assume that if they do their work well then a promotion should naturally happen. To all women everywhere: if you want something, go for it, ask for it, fight for it.

Bulgakov was a man who wrote a lot of himself into his work, in part 2 of my review I talked about all the similarities between Bulgakov’s struggle with censorship and the Master’s plot, Bulgakov also frequently broke the fourth wall as narrator and commented on the action or wrote things like “Follow me, Reader!”. So it is no surprise that Margarita has some similarities with Bulgakov’s third and final wife, Yelena Shilovskaya, who was a married women when they first met, and during and after Bulgakov’s life fought to get his work published. It seems clear to me that Margarita is a tribute to her.

I can’t say that The Master and Margarita is a feminist text, there are subtle moments of machismo which I feel Bulgakov would not have enough self-awareness to spot, and Margarita’s character has a number of problems, such as having no personal goals or desires outside of simply worshiping the “Master”, but I can say that there is enough to make Margarita a step in the right direction, a step in between a cliché of male desire, and a feminist icon for us women.

Review by Book Hamster

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charminglatina · 6 years ago

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Riverdale Characters as Tropes (Part I) ⭐️.

Here is a list of the most notable Riverdale characters and their tropes that best describe their character archetypes and personalities. I used tropes from TVTropes.org. Have fun reading!

#1. Archie Andrews (Main Trope: Big Man On Campus AKA BMOC; Secondary Tropes: Chick Magnet, Betty and Veronica, The Ace, Mr. Fanservice, The Hero, Lovable Jock, All-Loving Hero, Action Hero, Nice Guy, All Guys Want Cheerleaders)

Big Man On Campus (BMOC)

Guys want to be him, gals want to be with him. Maybe Even the Guys Want Him. The Big Man on Campus is the most popular guy in the High School. He is handsome, charming, a superb athlete and usually pretty smart and an A student. Unlike his peers Alpha Bitch (who is usually his girlfriend until he realizes how awful she is) and the Jerk Jock (usually his friend until he realizes how awful he is) the Big Man on Campus never bullies anyone: he rules through charisma and general awesomeness rather than fear and manipulation. But like the Lovable Jock (with whom he is often close, if not one and the same), woe to anyone who trifles with him. He'll probably grow up to become The Ace. Sometimes Truth in Television. The Big Man on Campus is very popular in Prep school fiction, as a well-read, handsome, athletic, affable, and articulate man is the epitome of prep. The High School Hustler is occasionally a Big Man, but more often lower on the totem pole. Generally this character is either the protagonist himself, or is the chief love interest in a story about a Cool Loser heroine. He rarely turns up if the story is about male outcasts (as the existence of a benign popular kid makes it harder to use jocks as villains) or about a popular girl (as those sort of stories usually give her an outsider love interest). The Big Man on Campus is Always Male. For a "popular but good hearted" High School female equivalent Spoiled Sweet is the trope of choice. Compare School Idol and Lovable Jock . For settings outside of High School, compare it to Magnetic Hero.

#2. Betty Cooper (Main Trope: Girl Next Door; Secondary Tropes: Tomboy With A Girly Streak, Ambiguous Disorder, Amateur Sleuth, Beware The Nice Ones, Cute and Psycho, The Smart Girl, Tomboyish Ponytail, Wrench Wench)

Girl Next Door

A Girl Next Door is a character who, it is implied, an "ordinary guy" male protagonist might have known when growing up, and whom he might like without feeling intimidated. She may literally be from the same neighborhood as the hero, or she may just remind him of girls he knew back home. In simpler terms: the feminine equivalent of an "average Joe", in terms of looks and personality. An Average Josephine, if you will. They'll usually embody a "wholesome" sort of femininity, so they're rarely the promiscuous sort, though she might act as a foil to a woman who is. Since the trope is more about her personality, some can be considered knock-outs. In which case, they're likely the local beauty in the neighborhood, or a small town; especially if she's someone like the sassy, hot waitress from the local diner, or the Farmer's Daughter. Among their friends, they're easy to talk to and usually good listeners. But they also tend to be frank about how they see things and expect the same in return. In a Betty and Veronica duo, she's the "Betty". As such, her disposition ranges from even-tempered, to boisterous and, if she's a looker, she usually doesn't flaunt it. That isn't to say, she's incapable of passion; she's just unlikely to be extroverted about it. Girls of this nature will often appear in Harems, usually as the inevitably Unlucky Childhood Friend of the protagonist, or as said above, the "Betty" in a Love Triangle. In non-romantic stories, she'll either be best friends with one of the others, or she may be the Cool Big Sis. The Spear Counterpart, Boy Next Door, is the same, only—you know—male. Often overlaps with One of the Boys. Contrast with Hello, Nurse! and Peerless Love Interest. Also compare The All-American Boy, who might well be her High School Sweetheart.

#3. Veronica Lodge (Main Trope: Tsundere; Secondary Tropes: Lovable Alpha Bitch, Daddys Girl, Girly Girl, The Beautiful Elite, Spirited Young Lady, Spoiled Sweet, Defrosting Ice Queen, Aloof Dark-Haired Girl, Mafia Princess, Uncle Pennybags, Antagonistic Offspring, The Fashionista, Fallen Princess, The Atoner)

Tsundere

The Japanese term tsundere refers to an outwardly violent character who "runs hot and cold", alternating between two distinct moods: tsuntsun (aloof or irritable) and deredere (lovestruck). The term was originally used to describe characters who began with a harsh outgoing personality, but slowly revealed a soft and vulnerable interior over time, which made this a plot trope as much as it is a character trope. Over the years the character archetype has become flanderized, and is now generically associated with a character who flips between the two emotional states at the slightest provocation, and usually at a specific person rather than a general sociability problem. The former is usually referred as Classic Tsundere and the latter as Modern Tsundere. A tsundere, especially a classic one, is usually a Tomboy with a Girly Streak. Tsunderes are mostly tomboys with hidden girly sides. The tsuntsun can range from the cold "silent treatment" to the hotheaded "kindergartener who pushes you into the sandbox." The reasons behind a Tsundere's behavior vary widely, but usually boil down to the conflict between their feelings of affection towards a love interest, and their reaction to having those feelings. The Tsundere stock characterization is very popular with writers of Romantic Comedy because the conflicts between the two personality facets can be easily utilized to generate both drama and comedy. It also acts as a source of Wish Fulfillment: specifically, the idea that every independent, hardened and just plain jerkish love interest (male or female) has a squishy emotional centre that will embrace you after you crack the outer shell.

Tsundere can be divided into two main categories, depending on their default mood:

Harsh (or Tsun): These Tsundere have tsuntsun as their default mood. It takes someone special to trigger their deredere side. The intensity of the tsuntsun can range from simple grumpy pessimism (Kagami of Lucky Star) to "I must glare and fight my way through life" (Louise of The Familiar of Zero). It's about which part of the tsundere personality is the public face and which the hidden. If the Tsundere is The Rival, she is more likely to be Harsh. Helping a rival out is usually accompanied by a line like "Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this for you." Harsh types can overlap with a Jerk with a Heart of Gold, but usually not. The moods of a Tsundere tend to switch in reaction to the actions of select people or adverse scenarios; the deredere side usually only comes out when someone has acted in a way to trigger it. A Jerk with a Heart of Gold is jerkish in general regardless of whether the other person is mean or nice, and shows their Hidden Heart of Gold only when the situation warrants, regardless of how the other person had been acting. Male characters in particular should be considered for Jerk with a Heart of Gold status, as arguably because of Double Standards, men are generally that instead of tsundere, although the kuudere subtype is more equally split in gender. Oranyan is sometimes used to refer to a male tsundere character—incorrectly since it means the complete opposite.

Sweet (or Dere): These Tsundere have deredere as their default mood. They are sweet, kind and generous, but just happen to have a hidden violent side as well. Don't confuse the sweet tsundere with Bitch in Sheep's Clothing because in this case, they have a temper almost always triggered by someone or something else, usually a Love Interest. Either they have Belligerent Sexual Tension, are an Accidental Pervert, or just have no idea how to handle feelings of love and attraction. In some cases, an Armoured Closet Gay character may act like a Tsundere to mask their feelings for the object of their same-sex affection. May also overlap with Violently Protective Girlfriend if her Love Interest is threatened or in danger. Sweet types should not be confused with a Yandere. If a Sweet Tsundere were really convinced that their Love Interest didn't want them, they would revert back to the deredere side and probably enter an I Want My Beloved to Be Happy phase, while Yanderes are Not Good with Rejection at all and have been known to get downright murderous under such circumstances.

See also the Analysis page for more detailed information on common "strategies" employed by Tsunderecharacters, and other, related topics. This site has an explanation on the appeal of the Tsundere character. A common way of showing that a Tsundere has mellowed or has had her heart won over by the Love Interestis to have her shift from Harsh to Sweet. If her motivations are inquired, she will often engage in a Suspiciously Specific Denial, complete with a Luminescent Blush and total evasion of eye contact (cue the squeaks of Moe). When paired with a Jerk with a Heart of Gold, together they produce Belligerent Sexual Tension. If done poorly, the result is an Unintentionally Unsympathetic Jerk Sue. Compare with Well, Excuse Me, Princess!, Jerkass, and Jerk with a Heart of Gold. Contrast with Sour Outside, Sad Inside, which shares the spiky exterior but has depression and self-doubt rather than kindness hiding underneath. When Flanderized tends to overlap with Mood-Swinger. Also see Don't You Dare Pity Me! and Anger Born of Worry; both of them likely actions with this character type. Aloof Ally may show the same hot-and-cold behavior but for differing reasons. Shana Clone is a specific subtrope with a particular set of characteristics. Because of their low tolerance for stupidity, they are always Enraged by Idiocy. Please do not confuse this trope with a Mood-Swinger, who flips between all the emotional states (not just tsuntsun and deredere) and is more of an inherent mental problem encompassing more than just their romantic life. Also don't confuse with Playing Hard to Get, where a love interest deliberately chooses not to reciprocate her pursuer's interest until she's sure he's hooked. Psychologically, tsundere-like behavior could be an example of "splitting", a maladaptive coping mechanism wherein a person alternately idealizes and undervalues others, including potential romantic partners. This trope is Older Than Dirt, dating back to at least ancient Mesopotamia.

#4. Jughead Jones III (Main Trope: Jerk With A Heart Of Gold; Secondary Tropes: Big Eater, Beware The Quiet Ones, The Cynic, Byronic Hero, Deadpan Snarker, Good Is Not Nice, Good Is Not Soft, Cool Crown Hat, Loners Are Freaks, Wrong Side Of The Tracks, Lower Class Lout, Face Of A Thug)

Jerk With A Heart Of Gold (JWAHOG)

A person you would expect to be a big Jerkass has some redeeming qualities behind their tough demeanor. Occasionally, they'll try to make it a Hidden Heart of Gold. In a romance series, a female character filling this role is usually a Tsundere instead (occasionally she's both). A male version is usually Troubled, but Cute, and his heart of gold should never outweigh his inner jerk because All Girls Want Bad Boys, though it can if Single Woman Seeks Good Man. If his jerkishness threatens to overshadow his good qualities, he's likely to attract a Love Martyr. Sometimes Truth in Television, though you can expect Real Life examples of this to be far more subtle than fictional ones. Often this is Played for Laughs, but not always. They are just as common in drama, suspense, horror and other genres as they are in comedy. One reason for this is that they make an convenient Plot Device. After all, the supposed jerkass turning out to save the family from their real stalker, instead of being said stalker, can be a source of Heartwarming Moments when done right. If he's a manly-man who pursues an unexpectedly delicate hobby, it may be a case of Real Men Wear Pink. Audiences may also sympathize more with the JWAHOG if he's shown to frequently have a good reason to act angry or annoyed. Even the most patient of souls can only endure being the Only Sane Man when they're Surrounded by Idiots for so long, after all. One or two Pet the Dog moments scattered around for character depth does not grant a heart of gold. A true JWAHOG has many Pet the Dog moments. Or maybe those moments are rare, but powerful. Or maybe they skew more toward the "Jerk" part but start making a point of showing the "Heart of Gold" part following a Jerkass Realization. Either way, ultimately they manage to balance out the jerk in them. If it doesn't balance out, they're just a regular jerkass, or worse, a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk. Not to be confused with a certain jerk whose spaceship is named "The Heart of Gold." Even if he is an example. Or a group of people who helped defend the Heart of Gold, even though — again — they include at least two examples. Compare/contrast with Hidden Heart of Gold, Bitch in Sheep's Clothing, Noble Demon, Bruiser with a Soft Center, Hero with an F in Good, Innocently Insensitive, Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other, and Sour Outside, Sad Inside. Sometimes subverted as Jerk with a Heart of Jerk. The Lovable Alpha Bitch is a frequent Distaff Counterpart of the frequently male Jerk with a Heart of Gold. Any Nice Guy have a complete heart of gold while the trope on this page tends to vary between this trope and the former troupe. The Lancer and Loveable Rogue are often, but not always, portrayed in this light. One half of the Belligerent Sexual Tension couple. Also compare Good Is Not Nice. Truth in Television: Most of the jerks you'll meet in your life will have some redeeming qualities to them. Few people are such jerks that they don't care about anyone, and cynical people tend to handle bad situations better, so having one as a friend can be useful when things go downhill.

#5. Cheryl Blossom (Main Trope: Alpha Bitch; Secondary Tropes: Academic Alpha Bitch, Rich Bitch, Spoiled Brat, The Cheerleader, Bratty Teenage Daughter, Clingy Jealous Girl, Lipstick Lesbian, Pet The Dog, Lady In Red)

Alpha Bitch

Take your typical setting involving teenagers—say, a High School—wait an establishing scene or two or three, and there she is. See that attractive blonde cheerleader looking down her nose (often literally) and sneering at the frumpy girl in glasses? That's her. Often times, she is the authority of the cheerleading squad and decides who's on and off the squad. After all, who needs a coach? The villainess of many a Teen Drama, the Alpha Bitch is the Distaff Counterpart to the Jerk Jock, and usually his girlfriend;note what he does with his fists, she does with a sharp tongue and sharper manipulation. She is often surrounded by a fawning Girl Posse who suck up to her and act as her faithful minions. She's very likely to be a Narcissist, a Drama Queen, a fashionista, a Valley Girl, a Bratty Teenage Daughter, a Daddy's Girl, an Attention Whore, and/or a Proud Beauty. She's also usually the scion of a wealthy and influential family, the star of the school or head sister of the influential college sorority house, thus providing her a network of local celebrity, influence and wealth to exploit. She's also quite the seductress, and consequently, all the boys fight amongst themselves—sometimes literally—to be her oppressed boyfriend. And to top it off, she's also very good-looking. All this leaves her with the belief that she can do whatever she likes without consequences. Unfortunately, she's often right; the Powers That Be are not immune to her family's wealth, connections, and influence, and they can and will be corrupted or coerced into overlooking her bad behavior. Her natural enemy is the Cool Loser heroine. Whenever their eternal, jealousy-fueled struggle over possessions, boyfriends, and status is sparked anew, quarter will neither be asked for nor given. Usually the Veronica in a Betty and Veronica situation, if she's even presented as a love interest at all. Frequently on the Snob end of Slobs vs. Snobs. It's a Costume Party, I Swear!, the Prank Date, and the Party Scheduling Gambit are just some of the many nasty tricks she plays. Often receives her comeuppance at the hands of a member of her own Girl Posse in a Backstabbing the Alpha Bitch moment, or when the Cool Loser fights back (sometimes with an Engineered Public Confession). Normally joined by a Beta Bitch who assists her in her various cruel deeds. If given some Character Development, she will become a Defrosting Ice Queen and grow into a Spoiled Sweet, or a Lovable Alpha Bitch. This trope is probably so common because everyone who wasn't homeschooled knew someone like this... or was one. It self-perpetuates because girls who want to be popular will copy what works on TV. They might even become the mask.

Most examples fall into one of two types:

Aggressive: Despite being a not-too-bright, outwardly rude, bullying, mean-spirited excuse for a human, she will somehow still be the most popular girl in school, making her a weird mix of Card-Carrying Villainand Villain with Good Publicity. She may be manipulative from time to time, but the way she acts, it's a wonder people fall for her tricks. Usually, she will have a 0% Approval Rating, but even that won't be enough to stop her. Done poorly, she can break the Willing Suspension of Disbelief, but done well she can be used to show how masochistic teenagers can be, out of a need for acceptance and attraction towards people they perceive as powerful. Unlikely to be a Fille Fatale, she's too outwardly mean for that. But who knows, if All Men Are Perverts, they might overlook her personality in favor of looks. Common in Kid Comsand shows with Black and White Morality because she's a rather unambiguous character. This does not mean she is necessarily a Flat Character. She may in fact be Sour Outside, Sad Inside. Compare The Bully and The Lad-ette.

Passive-Aggressive: A smarter, more adroit version of the first type, she is often adept at putting on a friendly facade, all the better for her to lull the unwary into letting their guard down. Though sometimes Book Dumb out of a lack of interest in academics, she is usually of about average or greater intelligence, because maintaining her status requires some level of cleverness. Her beta is usually a good-naturedDumb Blonde, Brainless Beauty, or Asian Airhead for contrast. Very often a Fille Fatale, or if she's older, a Femme Fatale. Often, even she is just as oblivious to her inner nature as everyone else is, and thinks of herself as much like the way she presents herself to others. A Heel Realization may cause her to change her ways. Or she might be knowingly and unrepentantly evil and just knows how to hide it from others.

If she's not the cheerleader type with the fake smile, but is the (usually) unglamorous girl who will fight to be the best in her class, she's the Academic Alpha Bitch. Though almost always a she, rare male Alpha Bitches (called Alpha Bastards) do exist, but they're just that — rare. They're distinct from the Jerk Jock in that they're mainly catty and manipulative, rather than physically threatening. Not to be confused with the Prison Alpha Bitch, found exclusively in women's jail, whose methods of bullying are much more brutal and whose goal isn't social status but outright dominance. The reason this character type is hated more than other Jerkass characters may have to do with her privelege and looks, see also Jerk Sue. Contrast Unpopular Popular Character.

#6. Kevin Keller (Main Trope: Gay Best Friend; Secondary Tropes: Camp Gay, Adorkable, All Gays Love Theater, All Gays Are Promiscuous, Gay Guy Seeks Popular Jock)

Gay Best Friend

The Gay Best Friend exists mostly to add variety, funny mannerisms and cheap laughs to an otherwise all-straight story and sometimes shows of political correctness. The GBF may talk about sex a lot, but is seldom depicted as having any, because too many viewers would find that disturbing. Either he has no love life to speak of (which never seems to bother him), or it's forever offscreen, only discussed with the heroine over brunch at some pretentious cafe. As modern society grows increasingly comfortable with gay people, fiction is slowly seeing more well-rounded gay supporting characters with onscreen love lives, whose sexuality is incidental to the character. In fiction the most common use of this trope is a male GBF to a straight female protagonist but other permutations are very slowly beginning to appear.

#7. Toni Topaz (Main Trope: Biker Babe; Secondary Tropes: Bi The Way, You Gotta Have Blue Hair, The Ladette, Butch Lesbian, But Not Too Black, Twofer Token Minority, Tank-Top Tomboy, One Of The Boys)

Biker Babe

Women who operate fast vehicles are apparently attractive. Maybe it's the Action Girl in the tight leather. Also includes car drivers and female pilots. Compare and contrast Hood-Ornament Hottie. The two are similar, but a Biker Babe actually rides the bike and often wears outfits which are a little more conducive to road safety. (Although the page image is an exception.) May deliver a "Samus Is a Girl" reveal, if she wears a full helmet and doesn't wear her leathers skintight. Essentially the Distaff Counterpart to Badass Biker, in that she won't be a pushover if things get messy, although she may be less aggressively badass than he is. Will likely induce a Hello, Nurse! effect on nearby males, and maybe some Stupid Sexy Flanders from a nearby female. See also Badass Driver. If you have a team composed entirely of Biker Babes, you get Amazon Brigade.

#8. Josie McCoy (Main Trope: Idol Singer; Secondary Tropes: The Prima Donna, Sassy Black Woman, Quirky Curls, Face Of The Band, Black Best Friend)

Idol Singer

A wildly popular trope in fiction about Japanese Pop Music is the "Idol Singer" — a teenage or early twenty-something (NEVER over 25) female performer, chosen for her cute and attractive image and sunny personality more than for her actual singing ability (though having actual talent underneath is not completely out of the rule). Idol Singers are recruited by multi-level audition processes, manufactured and managed by Japanese media companies, and ruthlessly discarded after a few years of cranking out formulaic hits. Over the past decade there has been a shift towards "mega-groups" that can have over one hundred members, with the lead spots on songs and choreography going to the most popular performers. Sometimes, Idol singers don't actually sing (like Milli Vanilli). Most are tightly controlled by their producers and expected to maintain a public image of purity and innocence: for example, their contracts may include an article of her not being allowed to engage in anyintimate activities. While this level of control has loosened somewhat with the growing impact of social media, which allows idols to interact with fans more casually, as well as a Japanese court decision that effectively rendered the "No Dating" clauses of Idol contracts unenforceable (it's still very in-force in Korea, however), the industry has been slow to overturn its most problematic and exploitative elements. Naturally, every Japanese schoolgirl dreams of becoming one. Those who used to be one are often Broken Birds. Thanks to the Disney Channel, American Idol, and The X Factor, this trope is also prevalent in the West, where it often overlaps with the Teen Idol. If she's a villain in a Superhero or Magic Idol Singer show, she's an Evil Diva.

Look for Part II!

#archie andrews #betty cooper #veronica lodge #jughead jones #cheryl blossom #toni topaz #kevin keller #josie mccoy #riverdale

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springloveswinter · 5 years ago

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There's nothing more absurd and offensive than a bunch of shut-in women on tumblr taking tiny bits of info and making sweeping conclusions about individual men who are strangers to them. You know fuck all about gay male culture. The presumption. The idiocy!! And you ignore all facts that contradict your pet theory. Such as Harry being loud, drinking, smoking, & wearing sportswear. That Louis in not free in public to express himself. That they both fulfill a contrived image decided by others.

okay so a couple things

1) i'm not a woman. i'm pretty sure half of us larries are not women. assuming someone is a woman or a girl because they like a-listers and pop is very 20th century of you.

2) as i've said before, we queer people have more in common with each other than with cishet people. that's just a fact. every individual in the community has a different experience - and some aspects of that experience for gay men i will obviously never understand. but people trying to say you're too gay or not gay enough based on how you choose to express your identity? happens to every single non-straight person. and yes, part of it comes from straighties who can't fanthom a gay person not fitting into stereotypes, but also from inside the community, which we definetely have to work on.

3) i never said harry doesn't do any of those. i'm the first person to condem the infantilization of grown ass men. just the other day i made a post about how pretty much every single famous artist out there has history with drug use - hell, we know louis is big on weed and booze, and who the fuck knows what harry has put in his body in the past decade. i don't know how that has to do with anything though.

4) i was just talking about the image thing in a gc! and you are right there to say that there's this image of harry being all posh and never wearing joggings, but i'm not a reinforcer of that idea. they are just people, sometimes they will dress up and sometimes they will choose to be comfortable and cozy - louis has shown as many times that streetwear is not low-fashion, and it always amazes me how expensive a tracksuit can be. however, we have to be aware that the image we have of them is not their actual self. once again, it happens to every artist: you take the parts about yourself that you are comfortable sharing with the whole wide world and then you enhance those and add a few extra details. of course, they have a say in this, it's not as black and white as people may believe - but there's also a good amount of people behind the scenes vetoing or approving certain details of their public image based on what is believed will sell to a certain demographic. that's why, for example, harry on stage and harry on print are similar but not the same - they sell for different people.

i hope i cleared things up for you! if you feel like you still want to discuss on the topic, please come off anon and we'll talk privately!

#anon #tw drug mention #tw alcohol mention

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palemoonpersephone · 5 years ago

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60 Question Tag Challenge

So I’ve been tagged by @kaffeinic to answer these questions. Here we go!

1: Selfie.

Gonna have to decline this one as I’m very shy but I’ll describe myself a little to make up for it - very long dark reddish-brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, fun size.

2: What would you name your future kids?

Can’t say for certain, I feel it would depend on what name felt right for that baby but I like many Italian and Celtic names.

3: Do you miss anyone?

Yes, definitely. Old friends, old pen-pals/online friends who just seemed to disappear. And I miss my partner and my friends when we’re apart.

4: What are you looking forward to?

the weekend Seeing my partner again, working on my writing projects, starting third year of uni, and unashamedly the new Witcher series on Netflix!

5: Is there anyone who can always make you smile?

The lovely @kaffeinic for a start! My best friend, my partner, my doggy 🐕

6: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

All depends on the context. I’ve had crushes in the past that have been relatively easy to get over but then I’ve lost a couple of close friends and that had a pretty traumatic affect on me. Other times it’s been very easy because it’s been the right thing to do because the person I cut off was very toxic/bad for me.

7: What was your life like last year?

In some aspects very similar, my interests are all pretty much the same, my mental health was still difficult to manage and I was looking forward to my upcoming year of uni. But this time last year I wasn’t in a relationship and hadn’t began a really amazing journey of self-discovery.

8: Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

feel so attacked rn yes, I very much have. Crying tends to be my natural response to most high-running emotions.

9: Who did you last see in person?

Within my household, my mum as I’m currently home for the summer. Outside of that, my partner when he last came down to visit

10: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I can be. I’ve found it depends on how well other people can see. Over the years I’ve had to hide all sorts of things, especially from my family. For years they didn’t know I was severely ill with anxiety and depression but that might be testament to poor observation and parenting skills, or maybe I just became that good and hiding things. I’m striving now to be more open about how I feel rather than bottling things up because it’s like drinking poison.

11: Are you listening to music right now?

Not at this minute.

12: What is something you want right now?

a hug a life without crippling mental illness probably inspiration to work on my novel

13: How do you feel right now?

Quite tired, a bit lonely. Really craving some energy and pizzazz

14: When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

Probably the Monday before last at 4-ish in the morning when my partner had to leave for work.

15: Personality description?

Shy, careful, introverted, open, understanding, affectionate, creative

16: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

Pretty much the story of my life. For the last 10-12 years I’ve had to keep so many things to myself, especially regarding my family. I could never say what I thought/believed because it would all spiral into a catastrophe, wasn’t a very safe environment emotionally-speaking. There have been so, so many things I’ve wanted to say but haven’t for the risk of rocking the boat.

17: Opinion on insecurities?

Most people I know have them, including myself but I think people can be misled to think that others don’t have them because of the outward images they display. And from my experience they’re usually there for all the wrong reasons (if there’s such a thing as a right reason to have an insecurity)

18: Do you miss how things were a year ago?

No, I’ve only gained things since then.

19: Have you ever been to New York?

Not so far but I can’t say I have any desire to

20: What is your favourite song at the moment?

Perhaps Ring of Fire by In This Moment

21: Age and birthday?

21, born 18/09/97

22: Description of crush?

(also my partner) 6″1, dark/black hair, brown eyes, built like a brick shit-house, tan skin. He’s intelligent, considerate, honourable, principled, fierce, indomitable, funny, supportive and respectful.

23: Fear(s)?

I’m just gonna say most things

24: Height?

5″3

25: Role model?

Not sure I have one. I aspire more to qualities like goodness, kindness and innocence

26: Idol(s)?

see above

27: Things I hate:

Small mindedness, cruel/selfish/narcissistic people, exclusion, organised religion (as more of an abstract concept), people not getting what they deserve, when people aren’t willing to listen and learn, having plans ruined, seeing people upset, people who don’t put in effort/only take and never give back

28: “I’ll love you if...”

Lots of possible answers as there lots of sorts of love. In short, if you give back. But then love shouldn’t be conditional, so I guess I should say I couldn’t love someone (in any way) who never gives back.

29: Favourite film(s)?

Beauty and the Beast, Peter Pan, The Lion King, The Other Boleyn Girl, most Marvel movies

30: Favourite tv show(s)?

Call the Midwife, Brooklyn 99, QI, The Last Kingdom, Doctor Who

31: 3 random facts.

I’ve been writing for almost 12 years now. I sleep with cuddly toys and make bed forts. I use fantasy to cope with reality.

32: Are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Right now, girls but when I was in secondary school most of my friends were boys.

33: Something you want to learn.

In a physical/skills sense I’d like to learn how to dance. In an emotional/mental sense I want to learn how to unburden by troubles and let go of things holding me down.

34: Most embarrassing moment?

With an anxiety disorder many, many things feel hideously embarrassing. Don’t think I could pick out one exact moment.

35: Favourite subject?

History

36: 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

Becoming a successful author. Make lots of money so I can give it to charities. Overcome/beat my mental illnesses.

37: Favourite actor/actress?

Probably Tom Hiddleston

38: Favourite comedian(s)?

Stephen Fry, Dara O’Brian, Sandi Toskvig, Aisling Bea

39: Favourite sport(s)?

Riding, archery, yoga (still physical activity so I guess it counts), swimming, running

40: Favourite memory?

Right now I think it’s when my partner told me he loved me for the first time

41: Relationship status?

If you haven’t guessed by now I’m concerned 😋

42: Favourite books?

Too many to choose from.

43: Favourite song ever?

Probably Lithium by Evanescence

44: Age you get mistaken for?

Always younger than I am. I really haven’t changed much since I was about 16. Still get ID’d almost everywhere because I look younger than 18 apparently

45: How you found out about your idol.

Not really applicable.

46: What my last text message says.

That’s no one’s business.

47: Turn-ons?

Maturity, experience, intelligence, someone who knows themselves and is in control, someone who can give care and guidance, someone who can bring my out of my shell.

48: Turn-offs?

Idiocy, lack of self-care/hygiene, someone who isn’t willing to listen, entitlement, intolerance, confidence when it hasn’t been earned.

49: Where I want to be right now.

The New Forest

50: Favourite picture of your idol?

Kinda need an idol first...

51: Star sign?

Virgo

52: Something I’m talented at.

anxiety? I’m quite good at riding and hopefully my writing isn’t too shabby

53: 5 things that make me happy.

Animals, people I love, random acts of kindness, smells that awaken nice memories, creative passion

54: Something that’s worrying me at the moment.

Guess at random and you’ll probably be correct.

55: Tumblr friends?

@kaffeinic I feel we clicked really really fast and they are possibly the bravest person I’ve ever met and I hope we stay friends.

@alittleandherdaddysworld they’ve been really kind to me and we seem to have some things in common, I hope we get to know each other better!

@xxdaddyslitttleprincessxx they’ve also been really kind to me when I needed someone to turn to and I hope that we too can turn our acquaintance into a friendship!

@thorkingofasgard I think we’ve known one another for just over a year and have had many lovely talks over that time, they’re always a friend I can turn to.

@mblargh-its-me-loki a friend who I sometimes don’t hear from for long periods at a time and I often miss them and hope they’re doing okay

@c0ffeebee their artwork and dedication is second to none and I like to think we got on well when I commissioned them for some art

56: Favourite food(s)?

Love curries and stir-fry, anything involving noodles, Italian cuisine and I’ll never say no to cake

57: Favourite animal(s)?

Dogs, horses, deer, bunnies, foxes, otters, dolphins, mice (I really could go on so I’ll stop myself)

58: Description of my best friend.

5″5, dark blonde hair, brown eyes, tan skin. She’s lovely, intelligent, determined, hilarious, gorgeous and we know each other back to front

59: Why I joined tumblr?

At first it was to connect with more people and spread my fanfiction work but over time it’s become more about just sharing and interacting with what I like and trying to make more and more lovely friends

60: Ask me anything you want.

Hold nothing back

I’m going to tag my listed tumblr friends so that’s @alittleandherdaddysworld @xxdaddyslitttleprincessxx @thorkingofasgard @mblargh-its-me-loki @c0ffeebee and any of my followers are welcome to take part

#60 question challenge #ask me anything #answered

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agapi-kalyptei · 6 years ago

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unsent VII.

Dear L,

I know you won’t read this, and that makes it easier to write. (Dear other people with the initial L - not aimed at you. Love you, though.)

I want to say that our awkward conversation on Monday was an exception to the rule - and I mean, to some degree, yes. But it’s undeniably a part of me - it wasn’t even the most awkward I got in the past 12 months.

(1) One time L brought N to my pancake party and I fell in love immediately and completely, just her presence made my eye twitch and then I spent a week in bed with chest pains, because I was literally that lovesick. Surprising I didn’t actually try to talk to her, probably because I knew I wasn’t ready. Almost awkward!

(2) There was this time when I turned thirty in Riga and I realized I am terrified of a world where she wouldn’t exist - almost a year after our breakup, she became a benchmark for how deeply I care about people. Realizing how important she is, I wanted to tell her that without putting on the pressure and melodrama “hey I know we haven’t talked in 9 months but I love you without demands and please be safe wherever you are” but ended up sending an email that had words but no meaning and ended up sounding cryptic and, ironically, melodramatic. Good facepalm material.

(3) Oh wow, I just remembered how we dated for 3 days, that was so awkward from my side. I’m still amazed how well she handled it and eternally grateful she stayed one of my closest friends.

(4) The absolute worst, most awkward thing I’ve did in Estonia was when A told me about her partner’s new partner - who I happened to also know. Amused by the coincidence (that seems to be a pattern leading to mistakes) I messaged her, not realizing the consequence of it. Turns out she was losing her virginity that afternoon. I didn’t know that; she thought I knew that though, so she was extremely unamused. Made three people hate me at once; I cringed for three days straight.

(5) Towards the end of my unlucky almost-dating M I grew so frustrated, jealous and neurotic I just exploded about how unloved I felt, how she’s hanging out with her ex all the time and letting him buy her a diamond necklace for xmas but didn’t want to accept a box of tea from me? In the end it was a self-fulfilling prophecy for both of us. She wanted someone to almost love, but prove to her that her (other) ex is better than everyone. I wanted... I guess an intense, but ultimately failed relationship, although I imagined it differently.

(6) And then there’s you. Three years of coincidences here and there before meeting while I was on antibiotics, antidepressants, tired and in pain, trying hard not to try too hard and impress you, liking your friends and wanting to belong in that life, all while my respect for you was growing. Six weeks later, I find I’m blocked by you on OKC and it hurt. I thought I wouldn’t have to feel like that in my thirties. I gave it a week and thinking I’m feeling balanced enough to ask you about it... and it went wrong, word after word.

I have yet to learn how to say “hey so you blocked me, how’s life” smoothly. I managed to sent an insufficient apology later, and for a second I felt a connection. I think you know what I meant. Erase and rewind, I wish I could. Two days later I wrapped myself in a blanket and felt relieved to see at least the tiniest fever to justify my idiocy.

This too shall pass.

#personal #awkwardness #milan being good at things #even if it's just being hilariously bad

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viadescioism · 7 years ago

Text

36 Ravens of the ravens of antimony

The ravens have their own name, personality, associations, sigil, and akna that they resonate with. The ravens will be able to be invoked in order to grant the practitioner energies that have to do with their akna. Their names, and sigils can be used in order to call the ravens to your side, so that they can then be sent out with your intentions to manifest your desire. The ravens have control over there akna, and the extreme form of it, and the lack of it. This allows them to have great power over what they are meant to control.

Description of the ravens appearance:

The ravens being spiritual entities have their own spiritual appearances that may appear to the practitioners that invoke them. These spiritual appearances of the ravens will change from raven to raven, but in general the ravens will be seen as black ravens with the antimony symbol burned into their back. These entities will also have pitch white eyes except for a black sigil that is used to represent that specific raven in the middle of their eyes. The ravens can also change their spiritual appearance at any time to a human form in order to help them in specific interactions, and to show off their individual personalities. This spiritual human appearance will be quite unique to the raven, but will always have the attributes of being caucasian, with black hair, their respective raven of antimony sigil in their eyes, and they will have the antimony symbol burned into their back. The ravens will be male, or female depending upon the spiritual energy that their akna in bodies that they in body.

Raven Of Lust:

Name: E

Pronunciation: [Ee]

Gender: Male

Okna: Love

Akna: Lust

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 1

Element: Earth

Planet: Venus

Color: Puce #722F37

Akna Attributes: Determination, Driving force, Energetic, Lustful, Enthusiastic, Sexual Desire, Obsession, Compulsion, Greed, Desire, Longing, Attachment, Wanting, Overzealous

Reverse Akna Attributes: No Direction, Contentment, Indifferent, Sufficient, Fulfillment, Stagnant, Motionless

Raven Of Passion:

Name: U

Pronunciation: [Yoo]

Gender: Male

Okna: Love

Akna: Passion

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 2

Element: Fire

Planet: Venus

Color: Pink #FFC0CB

Akna Attributes: Passion, Initiative, Attraction, Love, Beauty, Powerful Emotion, Excellent Quality, Empowered, Zeal, Verve, Liveliness

Reverse Akna Attributes: Idleness, Slothfulness, Emotionless, Lazy, Halfhearted

Raven Of Devotion:

Name: Æ or A'

Pronunciation: [Æ]

Gender: Female

Okna: Love

Akna: Devotion

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 3

Element: Water

Planet: Venus

Color: Magenta #ff00ff

Akna Attributes: Devotion, Commitment, Stability, Adoration, Loyalty, Reverence, Spirituality, Dedication, Worship, Religious, Faith, Belief, Focus

Reverse Akna Attributes: Irresponsibility, Betrayal of trust, Faithlessness, Perfidy

Raven Of Prejudice:

Name: TA

Pronunciation: [Tah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Hate

Akna: Prejudice

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 4

Element: Fire

Planet: Saturn

Color: Maroon #800000

Akna Attributes: Prejudice, Alienation, Racism, Ignorant, Injustice, Sentiment, Jealousy, Judgment, Segregation

Reverse Akna Attributes: Rights, Respect, Honor, Privilege, Esteem, Decency, Equality, Dignity, Liberty, Equity

Raven Of Anger:

Name: HA

Pronunciation: [Hah]

Gender: Male

Aknao: Hate

Akna: Anger

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 5

Element: Fire

Planet: Mars

Color: Red #FF0000

Akna Attributes: Anger, Violence, Brutality, Conflict, War, Exasperation, Rage

Reverse Akna Attributes: Peace, Tranquility, Harmony, Joy, Cheer, Delight, Enjoyment, Love

Raven Of Misunderstanding:

Name: RA

Pronunciation: [Rah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Hate

Akna: Misunderstanding

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 6

Element: Fire

Planet: Moon

Color: Scarlet #FF2400

Akna Attributes: Misunderstanding, Discord, Error, Misjudgment, Exaggeration

Reverse Akna Attributes: Understanding, Grok, Perception, Sympathy

Raven Of Skill:

Name: A

Pronunciation: [Ah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Power

Akna: Skill

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 7

Element: Air

Planet: Jupiter

Color: Bronze #CD7F32

Akna Attributes: Skill, Accomplishment, Talent, Capability, Competence, Effort

Reverse Akna Attributes: Impotence, Ineptness, Incapability, Inadequacy

Raven Of Might:

Name: I

Pronunciation: [Ah-ee]

Gender: Male

Okna: Power

Akna: Might

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 8

Element: Fire

Planet: Mars

Color: Silver #C0C0C0

Akna Attributes: Strength, Might, Power, Endurance, Survival, Strength, Authority, Courage

Reverse Akna Attributes: Weakness, Fragile, Instability, Submissive, Vulnerability, Loose, Breaking Point, Yielding, Surrendering

Raven Of Ascendancy:

Name: O

Pronunciation: [Oh]

Gender: Male

Okna: Power

Akna: Ascendancy

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 9

Element: Air

Planet: Uranus

Color: Gold #D4AF37

Akna Attributes: Ascension, Enlightenment, Self-confidence, Triumph, Increase, Superfluity, Rise

Reverse Akna Attributes: Descendancy, Degeneracy, Inferiority, Degeneration, Worsen, Decline, Recession, Fall

Raven Of Chaos:

Name: KA

Pronunciation: [Kah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Fear

Akna: Chaos

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 10

Element: Fire

Planet: Saturn

Color: Rust #B7410E

Akna Attributes: Chaos, Disarray, Trickery, Disorganization, Maelstrom, Mayhem, Disorder, Lawlessness

Reverse Akna Attributes: Order, Structure, Regulation, Method, Organize, Pattern, Plan, System, control, Lawful

Raven Of Panic:

Name: ȜA, or Gha

Pronunciation: [Gh'ah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Fear

Akna: Panic

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 11

Element: Water

Planet: Saturn

Color: Orange #FF7F00

Akna Attributes: Panic, Unexpected Changes, Misdirected Force, Disruption, Confusion, Disquiet, Alarm, Anxiety, Depression

Reverse Akna Attributes: Calm, Gnosis, Trance, Inner Peace, Composure, Comfort

Raven Of Horror:

Name: þA, or Tha

Pronunciation: [Th'ah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Fear

Akna: Horror

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 12

Element: Water

Planet: Saturn

Color: light Orange #FFA500

Akna Attributes: Horror, Fear, Terror, Dread, Scare, Dismay, Fright, Apprehension

Reverse Akna Attributes: Serenity, Quietude, Desire, Affinity, Confidence

Raven Of Darkness:

Name: SA

Pronunciation: [Sah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Spirituality

Akna: Dark/Darkness

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 13

Element: Water

Planet: Moon

Color: Dark Cyan #0c2021

Akna Attributes: Pettiness, Blindness, Misery, Distress, Tyranny, Negativity, Absentness

Reverse Akna Attributes: Darkness, Security, Secret, Protection, Femininity

Raven Of Connection:

Name: LA

Pronunciation: [Lah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Spirituality

Akna: Connection

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 14

Element: Water

Planet: Neptune

Color: Cyan #00FFFF

Akna Attributes: Connection, Communication, Personal Relationships, Partnerships, Fellowship, Diplomacy, Marriage, Alliance, Kinship

Reverse Akna Attributes: Breakup, Loneliness, Unsocial, Aloof, Disconnection, Isolated, Detached

Raven Of Light:

Name: MA

Pronunciation: [Mah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Spirituality

Akna: Light

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 15

Element: Air

Planet: Sun

Color: Celeste #B2FFFF

Akna Attributes: Lightness, Illumination, Harmony, Joy, Comfort, Pleasure, Peace, Hopes, Happiness, Fruitfulness, Masculinity

Reverse Akna Attributes: Overwhelming, Overbearing, Blindness, Demanding

Raven Of Wisdom:

Name: AR

Pronunciation: [Ah-rr]

Gender: Female

Okna: Reason

Akna: Wisdom

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 16

Element: Air

Planet: Mercury

Color: Indigo #4B0082

Akna Attributes: Wisdom, Insight, Revealing Message, Inspiration

Reverse Akna Attributes: Immaturity, Foolish, Folly, Newness, Recklessness, Innocence

Raven Of Knowledge:

Name: JA

Pronunciation: [Jah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Reason

Akna: Knowledge

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 17

Element: Air

Planet: Mercury

Color: Purple #7F00FF

Akna Attributes: Understanding, Innovation, Information, Knowledge, Education, Awareness, Comprehension

Reverse Akna Attributes: Surface Knowledge, Misapprehension, Misinterpretation, Incomprehension

Raven Of Logic:

Name: NA

Pronunciation: [Nah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Reason

Akna: Logic

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 18

Element: Air

Planet: Mercury

Color: Lavender #E6E6FA

Akna Attributes: Logic, Reason, Intelligence, Rationality, Common Sens

Reverse Akna Attributes: Irrationality, Argument, Absurdity, Idiocy, Inconsistency

Raven Of Binding:

Name: BA

Pronunciation: [Bah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Safety

Akna: Binding

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 19

Element: Earth

Planet: Jupiter

Color: Navy blue #000080

Attributes: Dependence, Obligation, Possession, Restriction, Imprisonment, Trapped

Reverse Attributes: Reliability, Dependability, Trustworthiness, Servitude

Raven Of Warding:

Name: GA

Pronunciation: [Gah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Safety

Akna: Warding

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 20

Element: Fire

Planet: Jupiter

Color: Blue #0000FF

Attributes: Warding off, Safeguarding, Buffer, Pushing Away, Avert, Avoid

Reverse Attributes: Open, Make Vulnerable, Endanger

Raven Of Protection:

Name: CA

Pronunciation: [Cah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Safety

Akna: Protection

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 21

Element: Fire

Planet: Mars

Color: Azure #007FFF

Attributes: Protection, Defense, Shield, Guardian, Safety, Sanctuary

Reverse Attributes: Defenselessness, Hazard, Threaten

Raven Of Insanity:

Name: ZA

Pronunciation: [Zah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Delusion

Akna: Insanity

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 22

Element: Air

Planet: Uranus

Color: Amber #FFBF00

Attributes: Instability, Stultification, Mental Paralysis, Over-analysis, Crazy

Reverse Attributes: Stability, Sanity, Rationality, Calm, Balance

Raven Of Illusion:

Name: QA

Pronunciation: [Qah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Delusion

Akna: Illusion

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 23

Element: Air

Planet: Neptune

Color: Yellow #FFFF00

Attributes: Illusion, Hallucination, Fabrication

Reverse Attributes: Delusion, Doubt, Deception

Raven Of Fantasy:

Name: FA

Pronunciation: [Fah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Delusion

Akna: Fantasy

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 24

Element: Earth

Planet: Neptune

Color: Royal Yellow #FADA5E

Attributes: Fantasy, Imagination, Dreams, Vision, Fable, Untruth, Falsehood

Reverse Attributes: Reality, Fact, Truth, Objective, Substance

Raven Of Energy:

Name: KNA

Pronunciation: [Kn’ah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Creation

Akna: Energy

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 25

Element: Fire

Planet: Sun

Color: White #FFFFFF

Attributes: Energy, Spirit, Vitality, Absoluteness, Animation, Vivacity

Reverse Attributes: Exhaustion, Indolence, Prostration, Initiation

Raven Of Life:

Name: SKA

Pronunciation: [Sk’ah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Creation

Akna: Life

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 26

Element: Earth

Planet: Sun

Color: Eggshell #F0EAD6

Attributes: Creation, Invention, Mind, Body, Heart, Soul, Self, Consciousness, Spirituality, Existence

Reverse Attributes: Ego, Lifelessness, Extinction, Unconsciousness, Blankness

Raven Of Health:

Name: SHA

Pronunciation: [Sh'ah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Creation

Akna: Health

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 27

Element: Water

Planet: Moon

Color: Bone white #e3dac9

Attributes: Good Health, Regeneration, Fitness, Vigor, Vitality, Endurance

Reverse Attributes: Bad Health, Disease, Sickness, Disorder, Malady, Damage

Raven Of Corruption:

Name: ACK

Pronunciation: [Ah-k]

Gender: Female

Okna: Destruction

Akna: Corruption

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 28

Element: Earth

Planet: Pluto

Color: Black #000000

Attributes: Corruption, Depravity, Immorality, Contamination, Degradation, Crookedness

Reverse Attributes: Purity, Incorruption, Morality, Probity, Virtue

Raven Of Death:

Name: ABT

Pronunciation: [Ah-bh-tt]

Gender: Female

Okna: Destruction

Akna: Death

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 29

Element: Earth

Planet: Pluto

Color: Light Black #1A1110

Attributes: Death, Destructive, War, End, Mortality, Destruction, Termination

Reverse Attributes: Transition, Mercy, Rest, Beginnings, Change, Transformation

Raven Of Banishment:

Name: ARD

Pronunciation: [Ah-rr-dh]

Gender: Male

Okna: Destruction

Akna: Banishment

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 30

Element: Earth

Planet: Mars

Color: Charcoal #36454F

Attributes: Banishment, Exile, Ostracism, Removal, Elimination, Remove, Let Go

Reverse Attributes: Admission, Welcoming, Incorporation, Engage, Accept, Let In

Raven Of Pain:

Name: PA

Pronunciation: [Pah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Life

Akna: Pain

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 31

Element: Earth

Planet: Pluto

Color: Dark green #013220

Attributes: Pain, Sorrow, Loss, Suffering, Hardship, Torment

Reverse Attributes: Pleasure, Comfort, Delight, Bliss

Raven Of Experience:

Name: DA

Pronunciation: [Dah]

Gender: Male

Okna: Life

Akna: Experience

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 32

Element: Earth

Planet: Jupiter

Color: Green #008000

Attributes: Experience, Growth, Destiny, Fortune, Luck, Serendipity, Prophecy, Outcome.

Reverse Attributes: Inexperience, Stagnation, Fate, Misfortune, Unluck, Causation

Raven Of Enlightenment:

Name: XA

Pronunciation: [Kss-ah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Life

Akna: Enlightenment

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 33

Element: Air

Planet: Uranus

Color: Moss green #8A9A5B

Attributes: Enlightenment, Edification, Sophistication, Higher Life, Higher Self, Truth

Reverse Attributes: Unenlightenment, Denseness, Lower self, Awakening, Inaccuracy

Raven Of Unknown:

Name: YA

Pronunciation: [Yah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Death

Akna: Unknown

Akna C.T.E: Corrupted

Chronological order number: 34

Element: Water

Planet: Uranus

Color: Bistre #3D2B1F

Attributes: Hidden, Unconscious, Secrets, Mystery, Silence, Concealment, Unfamiliar, Nameless, Occultism, Esotericism

Reverse Attributes: Known, Familiar, Conscious, Noise, Present, Manifestation

Raven Of Release:

Name: VA

Pronunciation: [Vah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Death

Akna: Release

Akna C.T.E: Tangible

Chronological order number: 35

Element: Water

Planet: Moon

Color: Brown #7a5230

Attributes: Freedom, Liberation, Action, Independence, Autonomy, Permission

Reverse Attributes: Captivity, Traped, Slavery, Limitation, Restriction, Bondage, Control

Raven Of Rebirth:

Name: WA

Pronunciation: [Wah]

Gender: Female

Okna: Death

Akna: Rebirth

Akna C.T.E: Eccentric

Chronological order number: 36

Element: Water

Planet: Pluto

Color: Tan #D2B48C

Attributes: Retribution, Revival, Renewal, Reawakening, Reincarnation, Birth, New Beginnings, Fresh starts, Continuation

Reverse Attributes: End, Terminate, Continuation, Discontinuance, Adjournment

#witchblr #witchcraft #witch #witchy #sigils #sigil #sigil magic #sigil magick #The Ravens Of Antimony #Raven Of Antimony

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pleasedontgethurt · 7 years ago

Text

★ FILL IN THE QUESTIONS AS IF YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE AND YOU WERE YOUR MUSE.

TAGGED BY: @elitaxne

TAGGING: anyone else who wants to do it!

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? “Doctor of Cybermedicine Ratchet of Piston and Cylinder of Protihex.”

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? “Just... Ratchet?”

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT? “I was appointed the designation of Rachet by the functionist system upon emerging from the Well with my brother. It stuck.”

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? “Widowed. Unhappily single.”

5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES? “Aim, Intellect, and Healing. In that order.” // *loud mun cackling*

6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? “They are a shade of cyan blue, like with most mecha.”

7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR? “I did change my paint-job upon becoming a medic. For ceremonial and professional purposes, but I wouldn’t go back.”

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? "I had a bonded, a son, a twin brother, and adoptive guardians. They have all passed on, however.”

9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? "None, currently. I just wouldn’t have the time to care for one.”

10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. “Idiocy. That should be pretty self-explanatory.”

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? “...Well, I guess... when I have the time... I read.” (he conveniently leaves out the more unhealthy “hobbies” he has in addition....)

12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? "My oath as a medic included not inflicting harm upon my patients. ....Unfortunate for them, they were not my patients.”

13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE? "In self-defense, yes. That’s kind of how war works.”

14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? “Raphael once told me I reminded him of the avian called owl. I don’t have the faintest of idea, why.”

15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. “Where to start? I’ve been told I worry too much and don’t care enough for myself, but that I’m also temperamental and controlling. I’m sure that’s not even half of it.”

16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE? “...Yes.” He won’t name names. There are too many names to list, and to be fair, he has a reputation to keep.

17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? "I have no idea what any of those terms mean.”

18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? "I'm a guest-professor at the University, if that counts?”

19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY? “...........................”

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS? “Do I have many... what?”

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? “Losing control, losing loved ones, never being good enough, never fulfilling my purpose.”

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? "...I don’t understand the question?”

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? “...........................”

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? “Originally I was of the Administrative Class, in Politics and Public Administration. Once I switched to Medicinal Science, in the optics of some mecha, I stepped a step lower--despite them being approximately of the same higher ranking in a larger sense, simply at the opposite ends of said ranking.”

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? “I have a few carefully chosen friends.”

26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? "....π...? It’s a mathematical constant, and highly useful in calculating the volume, area and circulation of a round object. What is there to think about?”

27. FAVORITE DRINK? "Fine high-grade.”

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE? “Cybertron.”

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? ".....................”

31. WHAT’S YOUR DICK SIZE? “The size of my.... what?”

32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? "I don’t have the kind of alt-mode that could float on top of liquidized H2O.”

33. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’? ".........Large. Strong. Intelligent. Charming......”

34. ANY FETISHES? ”…...........................................................................................”

35. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? “I don’t really care.” you won’t hear him admit it but he prefers being submissive

36. CAMPING, OR INDOORS? “Indoors. Cleaner and way less dangerous.”

37. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER? “Quite. Thank you very much.”

#;meme replies #info

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sananaryon · 7 years ago

Video

youtube

Self-Fulfilling Idiocy 3, by the greatest comedians on youtube

(Doesn’t really matter what order you watch them in, they all make the same amount of sense)

And a video about one of my all time favorite movies from the happiest piece of sunshine on youtube

youtube

@passive-aggressive-mercy heard you wanted happy stuff?

#shared #door monster #cinemawins

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cineresis · 8 years ago

Note

TumblrFrostbite's AU Questions: If the Joker had existed in the Earth-3 Universe (who had a different origin in how he became what he is) instead of the Jokester, would the Clown Prince of Crime be a bigger threat than Owlman in that 'verse's Gotham? Also, what happens if Jokester and Batman had coexisted together on Earth-0/New Earth?

(This gets very in-depth and incorporates various continuities. Jokester characterisation is inevitably influenced by incomparable AO3 author Kieron_oDuibhir; Jason characterisation is primarily extrapolated from Under the Red Hood. Warning for Owlman’s ableism, Heath Ledger’s Joker, Batman’s emotionally-stunted parenting, and lots and lots of nihilism.)

So we have, at base, two options: either Owlman creates the Joker, or he doesn’t.

Say he creates the Joker – in whatever way, intentional or not. What we have now is a man freed of the fetters of morality and sensibility, and who has the king of Gotham’s night to thank for it. It was Owlman who showed him that life is nothing more than irony and slapstick, that the universe is meaningless and chaotic and cruel and will kill you just because it can, so what can the Joker do but show his appreciation to the fullest extent of his ability? How better to honour that act than to demonstrate how well he’s learned everything Owlman taught him?

Of course he aspires to grandiosity, because along with all the other limits he’s discarded is the idea that he should be careful about how much space he takes up in the world, that he should restrain himself from unduly rocking the boat, that he should ever bother to do anything less than he is capable of. But in no known universe has the Joker ever been as great a threat as Owlman even in a mundane sense. In no known universe has he ever held as effective a stranglehold even over Gotham’s institutions and criminal element alike, much less over the world’s. Oh, he has ambition, certainly, and he has the drive and ruthlessness to fulfil it. But his primary threat is the threat of a terrorist, the threat of unpredictable wide-scale violence to sow panic and mayhem – he’s a bomb or a bullet shot into a crowd, not a knife or a rifle or a guided missile. He lacks focus.

(Not that Owlman is a threat to Gotham. You don’t piss where you eat, and in any case it’s never been terror that he craves – it’s control, and under that a desperate, howling need to matter, to make a difference and exert his influence on the fabric of reality, because safety is a fairy tale and he’s seen what the world does to the helpless and the insignificant. Fear is simply a means to an end, though a satisfying one. Within five years of routing and restructuring Gotham’s Court of Owls to his own ends, the city’s bureaucracy and law enforcement run like a well-oiled machine, even if the machine in question is Moloch.)

That lack of focus is the second reason Owlman dislikes the Joker. Owlman hates, as constantly and naturally as breathing. He despises the overwhelming majority of humanity for their self-deceptive lip service to cultural mores and the expectations of their peers, for the petty ways they sabotage themselves to stay within delineated bounds, for their uninspired ambitions, for the way they fearfully turn their gazes from the dark and put their hopes in false idols of law, love, religion, or a social contract that has any compelling interest in their well-being. None of these things, Owlman knows, will save them, and they will die unremarkable and unremembered deaths without ever having done anything worthy of note. The Joker recognises this, at least. He recognises that there is no human force greater than the will to power – aspiration and achievement, intent and the pursuit of it – but he lacks the necessary willpower to make his intent a reality, and Owlman hates incompetence almost as much as idiocy. The Joker is capable of incredible focus when he wants to be, but inevitably his obsessions lead him astray of his primary goal, to his detriment.And that’s the first reason Owlman dislikes him: that the Joker recognises his place in the universe, but he doesn’t take it seriously. Owlman’s not opposed to fun. He wouldn’t do what he does if he didn’t enjoy it. He’d still do everything he could to gain so much power he’d never again feel fear, but he doesn’t actually need to go out night after night to extort people and organisations and punish those who didn’t play by the rules. If he wanted to, he could easily fritter the rest of his life away on shameless hedonism, but what he wants is to be the next best thing to God and spite Death while he’s at it, and the fact that he wants it is what makes it important. But the Joker doesn’t even care about what he wants enough to focus on carrying it through to the end. The Joker is so invested in deceiving himself about his true goals that he’s barely better than the sheep Owlman exploits. He dresses like a clown, but it’s not the makeup and the gags that Owlman hates (aside from the humiliation factor, which he’d gut Joker for the second he dared to aim it in Owlman’s direction). It’s the farce.

Here’s another fact about Owlman: he creates his own enemies. He was wrought from the darkest depths of adversity, and he came out the other side as the obsessive power-hungry authoritarian that he is today. He can’t help but be curious: what could he do to someone, what confluence of circumstances must there be, in order to break them free of their complacency? What is it that turns someone from sheep to wolf? (And let it not be said that Owlman misunderstands the biological reality of that metaphor: he knows the importance of community when it’s founded on a functional social structure. A man must sleep, and it would be well to have competent allies invested in him waking up again.) What would it take to create a proper ideological opponent – one who can bring a more convincing case against him than the only arguments anyone ever seems to have against those who deviate from expected conduct, which always boil down to either “you’re insane” or “you’re an asshole”? (There is a reason he cuts Batman off so disdainfully on Earth Prime.) Owlman leaves people alive if he thinks they can learn from it. He mutilates them and lets them go, like catch-and-release irritants; or else he kills the idiots and lets their families live, to see whether they fall into line, seek vengeance, or simply fail to justify their continued existence too. So it surprises only those who don’t know either man when the Joker realises that peacocking and pulling on Owlman’s pigtails for attention isn’t having the effect he wants, and he goes to war in earnest.There are lots of ways this can go, and all of them are disastrous for Gotham, but sooner or later it comes down to only one possible outcome. Owlman is not Batman. In the prime universe, the Joker isn’t wrong when he says that it’s Batman’s reluctance to kill that is responsible for every additional crime he commits, because he will never stop so long as both of them are still alive. In this world, once the Joker is no longer useful or amusing enough to continue earning his stay of execution, the game will always end with two armour-piercing rounds to the chest to put him down and one in the head to finish him off. Owlman has better things to do than indulge someone who isn’t worth his time or effort.(Years later, when he looks at Luthor’s calculations and realises what he’s seeing, it is the most power Owlman has ever held: the power to travel to any timeline that branched off from the original Earth, and to affect each one limitlessly without concern for the consequences, because every action he takes is negated in the instant of taking it. It is the most powerless he has ever felt.)

But let’s say that Owlman doesn’t create the Joker. This is Heath Ledger’s Joker instead, who comes out of nowhere and whose terror is as much that of the unknown and inexplicable as that of violence. He does what he does because he is a nihilist down to every cell in his body, in the jargonistic Nietzschean sense of a person oriented toward avolition and the destruction of values rather than toward life and striving, and what he really wants is to force the world to see the same truth he does as he dances in the light of its conflagration. Look on these Works, ye Hopeful, and despair!(And that’s different and the same as Owlman, once Crisis on Two Earths comes to pass. Owlman is an existentialist and a perfect Nietzschean protagonist, not a devotee of entropy. It’s a strangely ubiquitous error. Owlman never does anything without a reason, and he doesn’t decide to destroy all existence just because nothing matters – he does it because control is his only defense against the terror of mortality, the dark night of the soul, and destroying Earth Prime is the only available course of action left whose outcome he alone can determine. It’s the only available course of action that matters. Nietzsche himself saw nihilism as an inevitable result of value systems outliving their ability to fulfill fundamental human needs, and therefore as both a necessary process and one necessary to overcome. When the moment of epiphany dawns and you realise that all you care about is empty of worth or meaning, you return to the core truth that there is no point to being alive except subjective self-definition and the will to power, and you define which new values give you sufficient reason to continue living. It’s not just vitriol that drives Owlman to strip humanity of its comforting illusions – it’s his instinctive dehumanisation of every person who wastes their life so damned intractably on a rickety edifice of social constructs and specious excuses that they may as well be dead, and the profound loneliness that comes of being one of the few people on Earth worth existing. Both Owlman and the Joker are forces of darkness seeking to corrupt the light until it is as dark as they, but at least Owlman has other projects at the same time.)

And let’s say that the Jester does exist in this world, because this Joker arises as a reactionary force and it’s much more interesting than using any other endlessly-recurring enemy when the first time the Joker shows his face is to waltz onto Owlman’s turf and say, I can help take care of that little problem of yours.Owlman looks at this warped parody of the clown with his Glasgow smile and his smeared, ugly warpaint, this funhouse mirror image shattered and reassembled by someone without the capacity for care, twitchy and restless and prowling the room with a bottomless hyena hunger, and he says, Prove it.The Joker licks his lips, a darting tic of a movement stretched out into something obscene, and he leans forward and says, See, he says, see, it seems to me that what you have is this thorn in your side that you just can’t get rid of, right? You try and you try and go around and around in circles, and this game of cat and mouse that you’ve got here, it just. Never. Ends! No matter what you do. And I think, what I think is, is that it’s because you don’t think about it the right way. Everything in that big beautiful brain of yours is like…exquisite Swiss clockwork, all ticking along with this perfect mechanical precision, a place for everything and everything in its place, et cetera. And your little problem is like a grain of sand in the gears and when you try to solve that problem, well, it all just goes to pieces. But me? He holds his hands out, open and empty, no weapons, ladies and gentlemen, nothing up his sleeves. I know how nutcases like that think.Because you’re one of them? Owlman asks, voice heavy with irony.No, the Joker says quietly, all mockery suddenly gone and leaving behind a sucking, deadly emptiness. No. I’m not. But, he adds, nearly as an afterthought, they’d sure like me to be.

Owlman understands how rationality that tends to skew wide of common convention can seem like madness to the uncreative. He’s also met his share of psychotics insistent on their sanity, so he isn’t laying any bets yet as to which category this joker falls into. He asks, So what do you get out of this?The Joker says, A partnership. He says, What you’re doing with this town, really, it’s inspiring. You’ve got the law running scared, and everyone else is so busy trying to stay afloat and keep from drawing attention from the monsters under the bed that they’d sell their families up the river the very moment you dropped a hint! I admire that, Owlsie.A crescent-shaped blade clips a layer of skin from the clown’s ear and buries itself an inch deep in the wall behind him.The Joker hacks out a skittery laugh, ha–! Touches the cut and dismisses the blood on his fingertips with a glance and an ugly, asymmetric grin. Message received. But let me get to, heh, to the point: I think we could do great things together, you and I. You with the vision, and me with the…technique. All I need is a go-ahead and your promise. You look like a man who keeps his word. And if you aren’t interested…well! I can promise you’ll never see me again.(This is, of course, a threat.)Owlman gives him a long look. And why should I offer you this opportunity?

I’ve heard about you, the clown replies, licking his lips in the space between sentences, feral with barely-suppressed anticipation. Everyone in this town knows to either bring you the Jester alive or not lay a hand on him. And some people might think that’s impractical, or territorial, or maybe just a teensy bit romantic—There is nothing in the multiverse that can shut this Joker up short of sheer existential shock, yet the sudden glint of metal in Owlman’s hand and the look of get to the point or lose your fucking tongue he levels at him through his expressionless owl mask briefly manages. (Owlman has no time for homophobia or other pointless bigotry simply because that’s a stupid way to run a business, but nor does he have patience for people without the sense necessary to keep their blood inside their bodies, and the Joker is gunning for a Darwin Award at 130mph in a stolen ice cream truck.) Another too-quick grin darts across the Joker’s face, insolent and nervy. But the important thing is, they’re all wrong. I know how that brain of yours works, and it’s not just about calling dibs. It’s about sending a message. And if you give me the honor of taking out your trash, I can guarantee you that no one in Gotham will ever feel safe around a face like this – a flutter-fingered gesture encompasses the clown makeup – again.So Owlman grants the Joker the courtesy of an audition: destroy the Jester both literally and symbolically, don’t get himself killed in the process, and Owlman will make good on their deal.

A cumulative hour in his presence, and he loathes this Joker more than he ever could the other one. It’s not just that he doesn’t take his goals seriously. Whatever his true aims are, this Joker is meticulous in his preparations, putting them together with the care and attention to detail of a chessmaster or, more precisely, a bombmaker. It’s that the man himself is a bad joke. Everything he says and does – the tics exaggerated to the point of lasciviousness, the mincing mannerisms interspersed with sexual implications and aggressive vulgarity, the intrusions on others’ personal space, the utter disregard for any concept of the truth in his self-contradictory anecdotes – every part of the persona is faked solely to disconcert and disgust, a cheap plastic veneer with nothing behind it except for the occasional momentary flash of sincerity, discordantly subdued in comparison. This Joker pokes adders’ nests and goads murderers without even gaining any particular satisfaction from it. The only real passion he ever shows is for destruction and, at one point, when a periodic check-in culminates in Owlman pinning him to the wall by his throat and calmly threatening to remove an eye if he takes another step out of line, as the Joker wheezes laughter and invites Owlman to observe the suicide-vest pull-ring suddenly looped taut around his thumb.

Why so serious? the clown reprises breathlessly, feet scrabbling against the wall for purchase, and Owlman is sorely tempted to remove both his thumb and the eye. Since he’s at the wrong angle to do that before the Joker blows them both up, he instead squeezes the carotid pressure points at the sides of the clown’s neck – not pressing on his windpipe enough to alarm him; let him think that Owlman simply has trouble controlling his temper – until a few seconds later his eyes roll back in his head and his body goes slack, hands dropping limply back to his sides. Owlman lets him fall and puts a steel-armoured boot into his ribs as a reminder to keep on-task. (Broken ribs: continuously painful, mildly disabling but not enough to interfere with his work, exploitable for more severe injury, and most importantly less likely to incite betrayal than as-yet unearned mutilation. Owlman doesn’t actually begrudge sensible precautions for self-defense, so long as they remain only a threat.) The vest is confiscated and disposed of, as well as any other weapons Owlman finds on him in a thorough pat-down the clown wisely refrains from commenting on beyond pained laughter and sharp protests of excessive roughness.

From this encounter Owlman concludes, firstly, that the Joker is profoundly sadomasochistic and only slightly less suicidal; secondly, that if he screws up this mission in a way that redounds negatively upon the Court of Owls, Owlman will make him beg for death before granting it; and thirdly, whether or not said mission succeeds, Owlman is going to fucking murder him. The man’s very existence is offensive almost beyond Owlman’s capacity to express without spitting.

When the mission goes down a few days later, it predictably goes off the rails, because that’s how this story goes: the Joker never gets to kill the hero. Inevitably, there are casualties – perhaps civilian, perhaps another member or several of the Jester’s circus of rogues, but either way the primary objective goes uncompleted and the Jester lives to grieve the losses and fight another day. Gotham will not easily forget the scars of this confrontation. The Joker, no doubt sensing the retribution headed his way, disappears with the materiel and manpower Owlman lent him. (Not much, nothing too closely associated with him, and nothing he couldn’t replace, though Owlman intends to find out exactly how the man managed to make anyone in his Court turn coat.)

Owlman hunts him down. It’s unexpectedly difficult to find an unkempt madman with livid facial scars, but the Joker doesn’t have half the Jester’s practice at guerrilla tactics and soon enough Owlman tracks him down to his current hideout. He materialises soundlessly from the shadows and slams the Joker’s head into the nearest hard surface, and then the next moment the Joker is bent double clutching at the bloody hole in his stomach – from gun or knife or diamond-tipped talons, it makes no difference, because all that matters is that Owlman isn’t going to let this Joker bleed out before he gets the chance to explain exactly why he deserves it.

The clown is surprisingly dangerous even with a couple of broken ribs and a soon-to-be-fatal gut wound, not to mention whatever other injuries he picked up from his failed character assassination, and he manages to get a knife in through one of the gaps in Owlman’s armour before Owlman breaks his wrist and kicks him to the ground. The brief, guttural cry as Owlman stomps his other hand into the floor for good measure is reasonably gratifying. Joker curls up around his injuries, giggling wetly and unceasingly except when he has to gasp for breath or make noises of pain, and Owlman has to uncurl him like a hedgehog and push him down onto his back so he can lean a knee into his stomach and force the clown to look at him, talons digging parallel red lines into the scars on his cheeks. He keeps giggling as Owlman talks, cackles uncontrollably when Owlman slaps him to make him pay attention, and only stops so he can wheeze, Hey – hey. Wanna hear a joke?Is it you? Owlman asks with vindictive disinterest.

Close, giggles the clown. Sustained pressure on the diaphragm is a reliable way to suffocate someone, and with the combination of pain and blood loss and Owlman’s weight on him the Joker is already having trouble focusing on Owlman’s face, eyelids fluttering deliriously. It’s more about the fact that this place is littered with explosives – as are quite a few of your offsite operations – and you have just made it impossible for me to type the cancellation code. He waggles his crushed hand, grin stretching horrifically serene across his face like a gaping wound, teeth stained red with blood. I set it for three minutes when you showed up – how much time is there left, d'you think?Owlman glances at the clock display in the corner of his HUD and knows immediately that it’s not enough to subdue the Joker and drag him out of the building, much less find the detonator on him and disarm it. He gets up off of his victim and runs. Wild, unhinged laughter follows him out as the first explosions make the air behind him shudder with a wave of searing heat, drowning out all other sound.Afterward, he does not find a body amidst the charred wreckage. It should have been impossible for the Joker to make it out of the building alive, but the fact remains: there is no body to be found, and nor will Owlman or any member of his Court ever find one.

But now for happier things: where does the Jester come from, in the positive-polarity universe? Was he a victim of one of Gotham’s mob families rather than Owlman, mutilated and left to shoulder the burden of a loved one’s murder because he made the wrong jokes, stepped on the wrong toes, didn’t heed the warning signs when he went too far? Was he a rehabilitation case spurred into turning his life around after an encounter with Batman, a hapless Red Hood who was only ever in it for a lack of other options, who fell from a catwalk due to a sheer confluence of bad luck and whose face as he fell never stops haunting Batman’s waking ruminations? Was he a random bystander who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Did he simply appear one day with no name and no past and decide, just as in any other circumstance, that there was nothing for it but to fight darkness with light and cruelty with kindness and revel in the fact that life, that the very nature of being alive, brings with it the opportunity for growth and self-determination and connection with those around you?

(He alludes to his past on occasion, in vague and casual terms, and with little external evidence of any emotion other than the carefree self-deprecation of the Fool. Batman knows more about him than anyone except, perhaps, his family, and knows equally that it doesn’t make much of a difference – to the Jester, yesterday matters because it establishes the conditions for today, and today is what you make of it. Whenever someone asks about his origin – they’re usually bright enough not to mention his disfigurement, though it’s implied in the question – he pirouettes to face them with a bright, inhumanly wide grin: Why, I make it my life’s work to bring low the powerful and raise up the weak, to spread laughter and joy, and to never set foot in court without everyone knowing I don’t belong there! Whatever else would I have done with myself?)The Jester gets along best with Robin, for they are kindred spirits, the brightness and animation to Batman’s swift and silent shadow. And they both get along well with kids, sapping the monster of its aura of menace with fast-flying quips and dazzling acrobatics, reassuring them that they’re safe and turning black-caped vengeance into an unambiguous protector, a tamed beast that punishes the vicious and protects the innocent. J wishes he could calm tears with sweets and big bear hugs but it’s bad policy to train kids to accept candy from strangers, so he sticks to sleight-of-hand magic tricks and lets his audience keep whatever small items he conjures as talismans against the dark.

Dick likes him best of all the Robins, because he grew up in the circus and even if the Jester lacks the training of a professional clown, the attitude is there, the groan-worthy love of a sly dig or a terrible pun and the backbreaking, humiliating dedication to drawing out a smile. You have to really like people to make it as a clown. He has a performer’s love of the spotlight, too, and an easy personal magnetism that eats up attention like a particularly friendly gravity well. In a way that Batman never does, the Jester feels like home.(Did he come onto the scene before or after Robin started joining Batman on his nightly patrols? Again, it doesn’t make much of a difference – the two men work together when their paths happen to cross, but they both have their own beats and their own cases a lot of the time. Where Batman focuses on street crime and corruption, the Jester is more involved in community service and social support networks and mainly tends to kick bad-guy butt when he knows it’s affecting those with little to lose. Batman finds people jobs and directs them to shelters and makes anonymous donations to those who could use them; J helps repair leaky roofs and gets people in touch with friends who offer affordable daycare or can help you navigate bureaucratic hurdles pro bono.)

The Jester gets along surprisingly well with Batman, whose stern demeanour belies a dry, subtle sense of humour that tends toward a faintly British style of cynicism. (When J learns that Alfred the Actual English Butler works for the big bad bat, he is delighted. Batman’s batman, ha!) They make an amazingly effective straight man/funny guy duo, Batman setting him up almost undetectably so that J can then knock the punchlines out of the park. (This in itself is ironic, since the Jester is the only one of the pair who’s shown any compelling evidence of being straight by merit of falling in love with and subsequently marrying a beautiful, vivacious woman. Catwoman aside – J’s inclined to think that what’s going on there has more to do with the Dark Knight’s savior complex than heterosexuality per se, since otherwise Batman shows about as much sexual proclivity as a particularly introverted rock. Which is very professional, all told.)

(The first time the two of them cross paths for more than a minute or two, Batman is staking out a building from one of the Jester’s rooftops when a grating half-whisper a few inches behind his right ear says, Ooh, what are we going to do tonight, Brain? Batman suppresses the instinctive motion toward violence with only a small, barely-visible twitch. He lowers his binoculars for a moment to glance directly into a huge, ghoulish red grin that quickly backs off a few more inches at his expression. Contrary to ordinary laws of perspective, the grin gets bigger. There are little golden jingle bells sewn to the Jester’s cap and the scalloped edges of his collar and tunic, but they apparently lack clappers, which is both sensible and slightly irritating. Turning back to his target, he replies, low-voiced, The Russian’s started moving in on the drug trade in this area after the sting on Falcone’s crew the other week. I’ve tracked several of their dealers back here.Supplier, huh? The Jester perches comfortably on top of a nearby air-conditioning unit, kicking his feet slightly. So what’s the plan?

I go in, Batman says. You stay out here. I don’t need to be tracking someone else when there could be gunfire. (Someone he’s unaccustomed to fighting alongside, he means, considering that the whole Robin thing happens at some point.)J sticks out his tongue, which goes completely unappreciated by the giant man-bat cryptid staring intently across the street. Boo to you, too. Come on, I do this every night just like you – I can take care of myself. And anyway, these are my people. I have just as much right to help them out as you do.Batman doesn’t move in any way that J can tell, but something in his posture softens – inasmuch as the difference between diamond and corundum, at least – and he tells J the plan. J’s grin stretches nearly to his ears. Twenty minutes later, they move in and pull it off without a hitch. It is awesome. And there isn’t even much gunfire, so there.)

Jason, now. Jason likes the Jester because even if he doesn’t let the kid put himself in harm’s way like Batman does, he lets him get away with more, and when he wants Jason to do something he’s good at phrasing it so he feels included, important. Meanwhile, J loves the kid even more than he worries about him – for the way he glories in everything he does, glories in the doing of it and the power and freedom to do it, drinking life down like he never thought he’d get to. Jason is sharp-edged in a way Dick only ever was when a case hit too close to home: where Dick is a being of the air, light and swift on his feet and so defiant of gravity that he moves as comfortably in the vertical axis as the horizontal, Jason is fire, feverish and fearless and prickly and hungry for experience, for justice, for affection and validation even as he affects to disdain it. Jason grasps for everything he can hold, stakes a claim on the rare people he lets himself care about, acts on impulse and doesn’t hold back once he’s decided on something. J worries sometimes that he and Jason are too alike, that they both bring out each other’s worst qualities and one day he’ll forget himself and it’ll all end in tears.

(Don’t, Batman says when J mentions it to him. You’re the only one he always listens to. Unspoken: Batman trusts the Jester’s way of handling Jason more than his own. This is the night after J talked the kid down from beating a child trafficker into unconsciousness, so he sees where Bats is coming from, but given that his argument was yes, he deserves it and worse, yes, if the law doesn’t stop people like him then we have to, that’s why we do what we do and what you’ve done tonight has already saved those kids and others that would have ended up like them, so just hand me that crowbar for now…he’s a bit less confident.J stops pacing and throws up his hands. That’s my whole point!Batman gives him one of his many Looks, which here means that he should stop being foolish, as if that isn’t his very nature. J grumbles to himself and starts pacing again in agitation. The matter goes unresolved.)

As Jason grows older he becomes fiercer, less restrained, and J worries more and more until one day Jason shows up at the door of the abandoned toy factory that J set up as a base of operations, wearing an utterly emotionless expression that means he is inches from exploding.Disoriented by the sight of a Robin in the middle of the day, J stupidly says the first thing that comes to mind, which is Shouldn’t you be in school?Jason’s expression tightens, another millimeter closer to the explosion, and he shrugs and says, Dunno. I’m not sure I can afford it anymore.While J gapes, Jason pushes past him and into the factory to dump his duffle bag on one of the mismatched sofas in the improvised living area. He sits down beside it, elbows resting moodily on his knees as he glares through a pile of books that J should really get around to reshelving at some point and that certainly didn’t deserve this kind of treatment. Harley is out at work for the next few hours; J wishes heartily that she were here, but he’d feel too guilty taking her away from the people who need her. He’ll have to handle this on his own.(Oh, Harley. Harley Harley Harley. His bright, brilliant Harleen Quinzel, saddled with a pun name because her parents thought it was cute, worked her ass off all the way through medical school and sexism and mental-illness stigma of the worst kind just so she could do for other people what had been done for her; who did exactly that during J’s several-month tenure at Arkham following the whole…face thing…who introduced herself in precise, proper tones and then visibly braced for the inevitable joke.After a moment of careful thought, J said, Y'know…in the pantomime, the original Harlequin character was the male hero, pursuing the love of the beautiful Columbine. He grinned too widely, winced, then recovered airily, I’d much rather tell all my deepest, darkest insecurities to you.Dr. Quinzel stared at him, then conscientiously dropped her eyes back to his patient file before saying, like she didn’t know quite what to feel about it, You know, I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about my name.

She told him to call her Harleen, to think of her as a friend if he was comfortable with that, and called him Mr. J for lack of any name he felt a closer identification with. It was a little too easy to inadvertently make her retreat into scrupulous propriety, so he did his best not to say anything that would make her feel like she had to withdraw to a safe clinical distance; but then she told him that she was here to help him get better, it wasn’t his job to worry about her, and to say anything he wanted to talk about, so he did his best to obey and tried not to get attached to the little warm glow of self-worth that bubbled up in his chest whenever he managed to make her laugh. A month and a half later, she told him she would be resigning from Arkham the following week. Ethics reasons.But, he protested, Har– Dr. Quinzel – you shouldn’t just throw away your whole life! I’ll be out of here any week now, you said, and you do so much good here—Dr. Quinzel waited until he ran out of words, then said in that crisp tone, Mr. J, then smiled. I am not throwing my life away. With my credentials, I can get very nearly any psychiatric post I wish. We’ve both been as honest in here with each other as my position allows, so I hope I’ve managed to ensure a minimum of the kind of miscommunication that might cause ethical issues. And anyway, if we were to have a relationship, it would be inappropriate to continue holding a job where I’d still be counseling you beyond the scope of our doctor-patient relationship. She grinned at his expression, cheeks dimpling. I’ve been thinking of getting into social work. Kids and families, you know? That was my other top choice when Arkham hired me.)

He really wishes Harley was here.Jaybird, the Jester says cautiously, what happened?Jason shrugs again, that same hopeless one-shouldered rise and drop. We had another fight. The usual. I didn’t back down this time, so he fired me.The boy is fifteen years old and underneath the anger in his voice is so much pain that he refuses to let himself feel, so much that it hurts to draw breath, suffusing every line of his posture like he’s trying to armour himself in enough sharpness to cut anyone who comes near. The Jester sits down next to him, not too close, and when Jason’s body language doesn’t change he puts a tentative hand on the kid’s shoulder. Jason relaxes marginally under the touch, like he always has once he got used to J’s absentminded tactility, and J feels guilty again for no reason. He’s pretty sure the kid doesn’t do that for anyone but him and Harley. You can stay here as long as you need, he assures Jason, then asks, Want me to talk to him?Jason shakes his head. Not much point. We’ve already said everything there is to say.

J’s heart breaks. It’s not entirely anyone’s fault, not really, because Bruce has never really known what to do with his own emotions, much less other people’s, and Jason has more than enough emotions for the both of them, and neither of them knows how to deal with hurt feelings except through repression and control. Jason is a difficult kid, anyone would be a difficult kid with that kind of childhood, and J would bet dollars to doughnuts that Bruce felt he was compromising as much as he dared for Jason’s safety and couldn’t understand why Jason wouldn’t accept what he was trying to tell him – and meanwhile Jason would have felt more and more unheard, unfairly restricted, invalidated and patronised. On reflection, it’s not just the Jester that Jason is too similar to.What a mess. He could really use his wife’s skillset right about now.Jason is leaning just very slightly into the contact in a way that says he doesn’t realise he’s doing it, so J takes a chance and slides his arm around the kid’s shoulders, giving him something warm and solid to ground himself against. Gradually Jason melts into the touch, and they end up with the Jester’s arms wrapped around him and Jason breathing deep shuddering breaths against his collarbone, not crying, J can’t remember ever seeing Jason cry and as far as he knows the kid doesn’t. J pats him awkwardly and says stupid comforting reassurances, things like don’t worry and it’s okay, it’ll be alright and you’re okay, there’s nothing wrong with you, no one’s gonna make you leave and eventually those shuddering breaths slow and Jason says, muffled, into his shirt, Any chance you could use a sidekick?The Jester can’t say no. He does say, You know he cares about you, right? He worries about you so much. He doesn’t use the word love, doesn’t dare; Jason would never accept that, would never let himself believe it from anyone, and J’s never heard him say it to anyone, either. Too many scars.Sure, says Jason, and he just sounds exhausted now, wrung out from carrying and releasing more emotion than any person has the strength to hold, much less a lonely teen with PTSD and major trust issues. He just doesn’t see me as a person.There’s nothing J can really say in response to that.(He does, however, treat Bruce coolly and professionally when he sees him next, which is an unmistakable signal that the Bat has made his way neck-deep into the ball pit of rainbow-coloured clown poo. Bruce does talk with the Jester about it, and J answers completely and honestly, hiding nothing except what Jason would want hidden. Bruce accepts this in the critical spirit in which it is meant.)

(There is no Joker to kill Jason in this timeline, so does he die? Perhaps the Jester’s fears come true and he’s hoist on his own petard, burnt up by the same fire that drives him, or perhaps it’s someone else who dies – either way, the first time J attends the funeral of one of their own, Bruce finds him about a hundred feet away under a crabapple tree shading a scattered family plot, just within hearing range of the proceedings but far enough away to keep from obviously compromising the identity of the deceased. J is dressed up in as close as he gets to formal civvies, which in this case means a midnight-purple three-piece suit sharply tailored for a man closer to Bruce’s size and shape than his own, spats, and a wide-brimmed fedora to somewhat hide his unnatural pallor. Harley, who can at least pass unnoticed when she wants to, is perhaps among the mourners around the grave; he would have told her to go, if it were someone she was emotionally attached to. Both she and the deceased deserve that much.J gives Bruce a nod as he comes over, letting out a long breath as he looks out over the cemetery. After a moment, he comments, It’s kind of like that Pagliacci story, y'know? When your whole life’s about making other people feel better, there’s not really much room to have your own. He glances up at Bruce with a subdued smile, which is primarily distinguishable from his typical one by the lack of visible teeth. Anyway. How are you holding up?Bruce raises an eyebrow and gives J one of his Looks.J punches him in the arm, then shakes out the hand theatrically. Buddy my pal, I am married to a psychiatrist. Trust me when I say you in no way need to go there and we can stick to the tradition of sublimating our negative emotions into violence and risky behaviours, as is our prerogative as men.The eyebrow returns to its proper elevation and Bruce looks back out to the gathered mourners, posture changing not a jot. J can sense his relief.)(J is good at using his feelings to connect with other people, though. It’s probably because unlike Bruce and Harley and the rest of Gotham’s vigilantes, the law never even pretended to be on his side, so he got used to thinking of justice as something you had to make happen yourself, whether or not anyone gets punished. Everyone does the wrong thing sometimes, after all, and what matters is that they stop so it can be made right, not that they hurt for it. That’s why his first instinct is to validate why someone’s doing whatever they’re doing, whether or not he agrees with it.

The ancient Greeks had this thing, catharsis, that was the purpose of all those tragic plays. Everyone would get together to watch an hour-long portrayal of all the follies of man (and woman, &c.) and take comfort in the fact that they weren’t alone in their mistakes and their struggles, that everyone around them was feeling the same way they were, and they’d go home afterward and be a little more understanding with each other for a while, a little more forgiving of themselves. The Jester once talked Mr. Freeze down that way when Freeze had frozen him to the floor and he couldn’t reach any of his gadgets – just stood and acknowledged his pain, acknowledged the reasons he was doing the things he did, acknowledged that when you’ve been hurt and wronged so badly it’s impossible not to want to lash out and make everyone see what was done to you with no one to care. Freeze had stopped in his tracks, threatened him and his loved ones, ranted about the injustices he’d borne whenever the Jester gave him an opening to…and his expression became more and more confused when J kept agreeing with him, more and more unsettled and lost because he couldn’t imagine anyone being on his side, and by the end of it his face was all tight and creased like he would have been crying if he physically could and when Batman crept up in his blind spot to take his freeze gun (while J tried to communicate solely through eyebrow movements not to do anything aggressive) he just stood there and let it be taken, then slowly crumpled to his knees.

Nora, he said like the name was being physically dragged out of him, Nora, I’m so sorry. God, what I’ve done…she would hate me.

Batman hesitated so briefly it would have been unnoticeable to a layman, then laid his free hand on the shoulder of Freeze’s cryosuit and stepped into his range of vision so Freeze could see what he was doing even if he couldn’t feel the contact, and said in his low voice, Then you’ll have to become the kind of man she can love again, Victor.

I can’t, said Freeze, shaking his head in desperate denial. I’ve done too much. She could never forgive me.

You can, said Batman. I’ll help you.

And me! J chimed in, trying to look like the entire lower half of his body wasn’t going somewhat terrifyingly numb.

Batman Looked at him, then back down to Mr. Freeze, and affirmed, We’ll all help you, while the Jester beamed anxiously in the background.

It was one of the more nerve-wracking things J has done in his career of incredibly risky moves, and he spent the rest of the day under observation to make sure there wouldn’t be hypothermia damage; he absolutely never plans to have to try that kind of thing on someone like, say, Bane.)

Bruce originally picks up Jason a few months after Dick leaves for college, and the Jester will most certainly never contradict his insistence that it was coincidence and not empty-nest syndrome (aloud, anyway). Batgirl precedes Jason by about a year, and immediately drives the papers and news channels into a frenzy of speculation about the new auburn-haired Bat, where she came from, why she showed up now. Batman vouches for her; Dick gets a little more detailed and says she’s infuriating – a complete amateur – but all right, I guess. Whoever she is, she’s not part of the arrangement the Dynamic Duo have together: she doesn’t patrol with them, but appears more opportunistically in response to crimes noteworthy enough to make it into police radio dispatches or the news. J assumes she’s more law-oriented than he is and keeps out of her way, at least until he hears about her teaming up with Catwoman to bag Roland Daggett for museum theft and an attempted frame-up. When J learns the details, he chortles like a loon while Harley grins ear to ear and looks skyward as if thanking providence for the joke.

J likes Batgirl! It’s true that she’s an amateur early on, but everyone has to start somewhere and she’s sharp and puts every lesson into practice as soon as she’s learned it. She also trades puns with him and Harley, so that makes her good in his book. She bonds with Harley in particular, which is probably inevitable for a pair of intimidatingly brilliant and multitalented women, and Harley ends up subtly mothering her and pulling out her family-counselor tricks when Batgirl vents about certain unnamed figures in her life smothering and/or underestimating her.

Batman definitely knows who she is, and J and Harley have vague suspicions, but they courteously avoid looking any further into it until Dick has his falling-out with Bruce and leaves to establish his own brand separate from the Batman-and-Robin duo that’s defined nearly half his life. Batgirl starts showing up more, joining Batman on patrols and at the cave, and by the turn of the season it’s clear that she’s taken Robin’s place as Batman’s primary backup and civilian-reassurer. She also ends up taking over Alfred’s job of remote research and logistical support, to which Alfred professes sincere relief. At some point they tell J and Harley that Batgirl’s true identity is Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon’s daughter; all Harley says is, Well, I s’pose it runs in the family, and J utterly loses it. Barbara has that strained look where she’s trying to hide supreme amusement at their reactions, so that’s okay.

She forthrightly big-sisters Jason as soon as he’s brought in on the family business, which works out because he reacts to her exactly like an irritated little brother. After Bruce fires him, she comes over to the factory to hang out and talk with him, even if Bruce doesn’t. He tolerates her, acts like he isn’t grateful she’s there, but he doesn’t try to make her leave. After the first attempt, she doesn’t try to convince him to come back.

Your esteemed author doesn’t read the comics and DCAU’s Tim Drake is more than half Jason Todd in backstory and characterisation in any case, so I can’t say much about the other Robins individually except that after already driving Dick to become Nightwing (cf. The New Batman Adventures ep. 17 “Old Wounds”), Bruce takes Jason leaving even harder than anyone was quite prepared for. The Jester and Harley are perhaps less willing to help support Bruce in this than they usually are, so it’s a clever, driven young photographer who sees his hero becoming impulsive and self-destructive and realises what he must do to fix it. Tim treats Jason coolly when they meet on the job, and Jason makes passive-aggressive or aggressive-aggressive allusions to Batman’s tyrannical tendencies, but when push comes to shove they find they can both appreciate each other’s focus on Solving The Problem by whatever means they have at hand.

(Jason models his new sidekick persona after Puck, perhaps, the perennial Robin Goodfellow, avatar of mischief and harbinger of painful ironies. There has always been an element of Pan in the character of Robin, innocent and Dionysian, revelling as easily in violence as in flight as he subdued criminals with the same boyish exuberance as Peter did the pirates.)

Later, Cass probably takes joy in the Jester and Harley’s body language – so alive, so in love, laughing genuinely even when they’re sad.

Damian probably can’t stand the Jester, but then he can’t stand most people. J doesn’t stop trying to make him laugh. One day, it works. Damian is horrified. J is so, so proud. (Harley brings her family-counseling A-game to interactions with the boy, but even she has trouble making a dent in the Great Wall of Damian’s Judgment at first. She eventually makes progress by gently leading him into considering others’ needs and points of view, which prompts a good deal of troubled self-reflection on Damian’s part…which then inevitably leads to him blaming the “giggling harridan” for trying to turn him against his mother and grandfather, which Harley uses to springboard a discussion that somehow, amazingly, ends in Damian sincerely apologising. Which is probably a miracle of some sort.)

The Jester doesn’t join the initial lineup of the Justice League. In most timelines, the League forms in response to a major world crisis, and in that kind of situation the Jester and his partners are going to be clearing the streets and rescuing trapped or disabled civilians, not getting into the thick of things with the heavy hitters. He’s an acrobat with a terrifyingly creative mastery of props and gadgets, not a superhuman, and moreover he’s a local guy. Gotham is his city, and he knows its streets and rooftops and boltholes and major players as well as he knows his own heartbeat. This is where he can do the most good.

And because he’s just an acrobat with a terrifyingly creative mastery of props and gadgets, whenever he’s needed for something outside his usual purview, he ironically does best in a guerrilla capacity despite the bells and motley. There’s nothing like a decade of experience at having nothing between you and real actual flying bullets except surprise and agility to really hone one’s stealth and ambush skills. Also, he’s very bendy! He’s no Ragdoll, but if you need someone to steal a vital component from a high-security facility, just give him a map and a radio uplink, point him at an air vent, and watch him go.

I’m not going to examine every change that comes of having a friendly clown instead of the Joker in this universe, but I can’t let pass one difference of note. The “World’s Finest” arc, after all, was precipitated by the Joker tracking down a twenty-pound statuette made entirely of kryptonite, stealing it, and selling his services to Lex Luthor against Superman.

Whereas if the Jester tracked the Laughing Dragon statue to an antiques store in Gotham, things would have gone a little differently. He would have paid for the thing, first of all – with Bruce Wayne’s money, admittedly, Harley doesn’t make that much, but J’s entirely certain that Bruce is aware of the checkbook he once pocketed from his desk and trusts him not to use it without good cause. Plus it cuts down on occasionally having to choose between stealing someone’s actual valuables or risking something important falling into dangerous hands.

While Harley goes into the shop to charm the proprietor with a pair of big baby blues and a forged check, the Jester pops over a few blocks to call the Daily Planet via payphone.

Hi, he tells the receptionist, uh, what do I do if I have an anonymous tip for Lois Lane?

The receptionist tells him she’ll transfer him to Ms. Lane’s private line. He taps his pointy-toed shoe restlessly as he waits.

When Ms. Lane picks up, the Jester says, Yeah, so, I have a question. How would you dispose of twenty pounds of radioactive green rock?

After a moment, Lois replies, incredulous, Is this a threat?

Ah, says the Jester, no. Nooo. I can assure you I have only the best of intentions, hence my asking your advice.

Because calling with an anonymous tip and then phrasing it like that is actually very ominous, Lois points out.

Right, says the the Jester. Sorry about that. I didn’t want to assume anything, so.

Assume anything? J can hear the raised eyebrow.

You know, says J, on the outside chance that, say, you didn’t actually want it destroyed because your friend’s heroic persona is a ruse and you’re being coerced into giving him good publicity. I didn’t want to say it aloud. He probably could have sent a letter instead, but super-sight and X-ray vision are just as much of a hazard in that sense.

Huh, says Lois. Usually when we get crank calls, we don’t get them from a real, live crank. I mean, every so often you get a conspiracist who trusts the media enough to come to us, but usually it’s just people who think the fact that they got screwed over means the whole system’s in on it.

I did say ‘outside chance’, didn’t I? J makes his voice indignant, but he’s not actually all that bothered. He’s a costumed vigilante, certain kinds of consideration are going to sound like paranoia to normals who aren’t used to it. Even if he would have expected better from Superman’s favourite journalist.

You’re right, admits Lois. That’s…very considerate. Thank you. I’m fine, though. I’ll…just go check on the answer to your question now. Can you hold?

A few minutes later, she’s back on the line: You can dissolve it in acid, such as hydrochloric acid at a concentration of about 30% or higher.

Awesome, says the Jester. Thanks. Good luck with your reporting.

They save a sliver, of course, and to prevent it from going astray they give it to Batman for highest-security safekeeping. Just in case.

#crisis on two earths #Earth 3 #owlman #the joker #batman #the jester #dick grayson #jason todd #harley quinn #barbara gordon #mr. freeze #lois lane #meta fic #(i'm calling the good clown the jester per usual because i’m coming at these characters via crisis on two earths)#(and because it's easier to differentiate him from the joker where relevant if their names aren't quite so similar)

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