#self designated gender non-conformity

[the-masquerade-council]

so like this still isn't a coining blog but I just enjoy coming up with words and stuff

Self-Designated Gender Conformity(left) and Self-Designated Gender Non-Conformity(right)

Basically having gender expression that would be usually described one way, but describing it differently yourself.

This can be for a ton of reasons, including but not limited to: Having a gender that doesn't have a typical idea of conforming/non-conforming such as xenogenders, being raised with more than one culture that have different definitions conforming/non-conforming, having traits that are considered conforming/non-conforming by your culture or community but not considering them so on yourself, being disconnected from the concept of conforming/non-conforming.

I made these cuz I have traits that are generally considered gender non-conforming where we live, but I don't really feel like they are non-conforming for me.

The flag's are based off the gender non-conforming flag. Them being diagonal is to represent not falling within typical understanding. The orange-ish red is representative of self and choosing how to be described.

on the Self-Designated Gender Conformity flag: it's grayed out to resemble other conformant flags, the colors being more similar to each other is for one's expression reflecting one's gender.

on the Self-Designated Gender Non-Conformity flag: brighter colors were used to represent how gender non-conformity is well non-conformant, the colors being more different from each other is for one's expression not reflecting one's gender. The yellow in the middle is to make it look more distinctive from the other flag.

[zareleonis]

"I must play the role that they want me to play": Trans coding and Furina de Fontaine

There are several facts that, when combined, make the character of Focalors/Furina is distinctly transgender in nature. Firstly, Focalors/Furina was born an Oceanid, a species of pure water spirits that is genderless and sexless.

In legends shared by humans regarding their origins, the first Oceanid is called “it/its.” The human author recounting this story says humans have used “she” to Oceanids ever since, more as a matter of course than an expression of gender.

Oceanids are also sexless, as they do not reproduce through any sort of coupling and instead proliferate through abstract means that are little understood by humans. Focalors/Furina, after seeing the lives humans led on land, eventually longed to be human herself. The desire to transform from Oceanid to human is already a solid metaphor for transness in and of itself, but is even more so given that Focalors/Furina as an Oceanid starts as a creature that is genderless and sexless.

The trans coding of Focalors/Furina’s dream to be human only becomes more profound once they become a god and are forced to split themself into two i halves in a bid to save Fontaine. The divine half has to give up her humanity forever, yet continues to long for the humanity she once had down to her very last breath.

The human half, Furina, meanwhile has to hide her humanity and true self for centuries. Forced back in the metaphorical closet in a way that is acutely familiar to any queer person who’s been closeted.

Going beyond the lore that Focalors/Furina was born genderless and sexless and the storyline which serves as a broader metaphor for transness, Furina’s design is distinctly androgynous, so much so that her Japanese voice actor, Minase Inori, shared that when she first saw Furina, she couldn’t tell if the character was meant to be a boy or a girl and found the ambiguity captivating.

Notably the Japanese dub leans into the androgyny angle, both through Minase’s performance and Furina’s use of the personal pronoun “boku.” As a pronoun typically used by young men and boys, when used by a female character can emphasize their eccentricity and gender non-conformity, both key traits of Furina.

Returning to Furina’s design, one of the key design philosophies for her character is contradicting elements to emphasize the contradictory facets of her personality, as explained by Vivi, one of Genshin Impact's Character Concept Artists, in the La Vaguelette behind the scenes video.

One such contradicting element is the mixture of both men’s and women’s clothing that she wears. The lower half/back of her garment features a modified western women’s petticoat-style tail, whereas the upper half is a men’s morning dress.

Furina’s vest has its buttons on the right, as traditionally found on men’s clothing. This is in contrast with other Fontainian characters such as Wriothesley and Clorinde, whose buttons are placed in accordance with the traditional style for clothing made for their gender.

We see the same sense of contrast in her combat animations, where she does both a masculine style and feminine style bows when performing separate abilities.

Other elements such as Furina’s noticeably flat chest and a haircut which could belong to someone of any gender further evoke a sense of androgyny.

While I'm not trying to prove anything with this or convince anyone Furina is canonically trans beyond that their original species does not have gender in the human sense, I hope that more people can open their hearts to a trans reading of the character. What delights me most about Furina is that no matter the specific interpretation you take—the Oceanid who dreamed she could be a human girl, the human who pretended to be a goddess when really he was nothing of the sort, or someone who's neither or even both—her story and character design resonates deeply. :)

[emeraldspiral]

A venn diagram of the queer/neurodiverse content depicted in Invader Zim. I've already talked about the inherent queerness of Zim and mentioned a few times that there’s a big overlap with autism/neurodiversity but I thought this would make a handy reference. Note that “neurodiversity” isn’t just autism/ADD/ADHD but also includes mental illness, personality disorders, mood disorders, learning disabilities, and anything else that isn’t “neurotypical”.

On the queer side there is actual canon queer rep in the show and comics:

Irkens are canonically aroace and intersex.

Groyna from the comics was confirmed by Eric Trueheart to be a lesbian.

Commander Poki from the comics may be trans, as she has eyelashes normally only seen on female Irkens, but lacks the curled antenna every other female Irken is shown to possess.

Recap Kid's gender is deliberately ambiguous.

There are also many instances of queer-coding that can be seen throughout the show such as:

The homoerotic rivalry between Zim and Dib.

Red and Purple basically being Zim's two gay dads.

Zim and several other characters having campy and dramatic mannerisms.

Zim using Keef and Tak as beards.

Zim and GIR wearing make-up/cross-dressing and generally not concerning themselves with or even being aware of gender conformity.

That time Dib's personality was copied into the body of a female ship which became very distressed at being told it wasn't really a boy and changed its physical appearance to match its brain.

Other queer elements featured in the show include:

Female characters who aren't love interests/show no interest in romance.

Most characters showing a general lack of visible interest in the opposite sex or romance.

The Membranes being a non-traditional family (single dad with no mom, later acquiring two more dads in the form of Foodio and Clembrane). Irken society not being structured around family units at all.

Satirical depictions of nuclear family units (Zim’s roboparents).

Transhumanism.

Kink/Fetish content including tentacles, bondage, domination, tongues, sadism, mind-control, body morphing, gore, food/eating, bodily fluids/fluids in general, Giger-esque designs, etc…

On the Neurodiverse side we have:

Zim’s food sensitivity.

Zim’s germophobia.

Zim’s dislike of being touched or hugged.

Zim seeming to suffer from sensory issues in general.

Zim getting overstimulated on the bus in Walk of Doom.

Zim and Dib infodumping.

Zim’s idiosyncratic speech mannerisms.

Characters having high intellect paired with poor social skills/low emotional intelligence.

Hyperfixations and special interests.

Zim’s struggles with multi-tasking and keeping his priorities straight.

GIR being easily distracted and unable to focus on anything that doesn’t immediately interest him.

Characters having poor volume control.

Characters having mood swings or trouble regulating their emotions.

Zim’s issues with memory.

Dib hyperfocusing to the point of neglecting hygiene.

Zim’s “problem with listening”.

And in the middle where they overlap there’s:

Zim and Dib being outcasts, misunderstood by everyone around them, and only able to connect with other misfits like Gaz, GIR, Keef, each other, and random hobos.

Zim masking his otherness and putting on performative displays of “normalcy” and having a well-founded fear of the consequences of being discovered.

Dib being open about his otherness and looking for respect and acceptance in the face of overwhelming ridicule and contempt.

Dib being pressured by his father to conform in order to please him.

Dib finding that the social benefits of conformity aren’t enough to outweigh the pain of not being his authentic self in Mopiness of Doom.

Dib’s experiences and perspectives being trivialized, dismissed and medicalized as indicators of mental illness.

Dib actually being mentally ill, but only as a result of not being accepted or supported for being different.

The eugenicist dystopia of the Irken Empire, where Zim is labeled “defective” and sentenced to death rather than treated for the mental health issues caused by the society that created him.

Daddy issues/familial rejection/non-acceptance.

Zim and Dib’s struggles with depression.

Zim and Dib’s need to prove themselves to gain validation and acceptance.

Zim and Dib being victims of bullying and in turn bullying others to feel a sense of power.

Dib’s self-loathing.

Zim’s default state being paranoia and anxiety.

Zim and Dib’s self-image issues.

And of course the one thing that binds us all: alternative fashion.

[gender-jargon]

[Image ID: Four images of the Erenth pride flag, created by Gent (Gender-Jargon). Image 1) is the nine-stripe flag. This flag has nine horizontal stripes of the same size. From top to bottom, the stripes are dark grey, peach, dark red, cream, desaturated light green, cream, dark red, peach and dark grey. Image 2) is the same nine-stripe flag, but with a centered, black double dagger obelus mark. Image 3) is the five-stripe simplified design. The simplified flag has five horizontal stripes of the same size. From top to bottom, the stripes are dark grey, peach, dark red, cream and desaturated light green. Image 4) is the same simplified flag, but with a centered, black double dagger obelus mark. ./. END ID]

Erenth: a term describing one who does not participate in the concept of gender, instead embracing the self-hood that proceeds the construct unencumbered.

[PT: Erenth: a term describing one who does not participate in the concept of gender, instead embracing the self-hood that proceeds the construct unencumbered. ./. END PT]

Etymology

[PT: Etymology ./. END PT]

"Ere", from Early Modern English, meaning "Before" + "-nth" from English, meaning "an unspecified/indefinitely large ordinal number".

Here, "before" refers to the intrinsic self that exists free of gender, a state that has not yet been evaluated or considered within the construct. "Ere" was chosen to represent existing outside the gender paradigm, much like "Ere" belongs to an earlier stage English. "Nth" is used as a suffix, but it refers to the infinitely large, variable, complex, convoluted, nebulous nature of gender identity.

Erenth was coined by Gent (Gender-Jargon) in April 2024.

Elaboration

[PT: Elaboration ./. END PT]

Erenth is not a gender identity, but rather a label used to describe individuals whose selfhood does not involve the construct of gender, identifying with a personal, individual albeit degendered selfhood instead. As such, an Erenth:

Does not have a gender identity in any way, shape or form.

Doesn't align themselves with any gender (unaligned).

Does not have a gender identity to conform to, bend or subvert.

May embody gendered roles without consideration to the concept of gender or may reject them all together.

Does not have a gender to express, thus lacking a gender expression.

Presents themselves without consideration to the concept of gender, instead seeking to make their presentation harmonious and congruent with their sense of self.

Uses (self-)referential language without consideration to the concept of gender, using whatever language they see fit.

In lacking a gender identity, likely do not self-describe using GLG orientations.

May have an internalized self-concept of sex that is degendered or may reject sex altogether.

May reject, eschew, subvert, ignore, transcend, be liberated from, be apathetic towards, be oblivious to or hold any stance, perspective or experience regarding the concept of gender that results in non-participation in the construct.

May or may not identify as Queer.

Is simply themselves, embodying the answer to the question, "Who Am I?" while also discarding the construct of gender entirely from the question.

[PT: Does not have a gender identity in any way, shape or form. Doesn't align themselves with any gender (unaligned). Does not have a gender identity to conform to, bend or subvert. May embody gendered roles without consideration to the concept of gender or may reject them all together. Does not have a gender to express, thus lacking a gender expression. Presents themselves without consideration to the concept of gender, instead seeking to make their presentation harmonious and congruent with their sense of self. Uses (self-)referential language without consideration to the concept of gender, using whatever language they see fit. In lacking a gender identity, likely do not self-describe using GLG orientations. May have an internalized self-concept of sex that is degendered or may reject sex altogether. May reject, eschew, subvert, ignore, transcend, be liberated from, be apathetic towards, be oblivious to or hold any stance, perspective or experience regarding the concept of gender that results in non-participation in the construct. May or may not identify as Queer. Is simply themselves, embodying the answer to the question, "Who Am I?" while also discarding the construct of gender entirely from the question. ./. END PT]

Some similar labels include:

Egogender

[PT: Egogender ./. END PT]

Both Egogender and Erenth individuals identify with an unique and individualistic sense of self, but differ in that the Erenth label is not a gender and does not participate in the construct.

Exogender

[PT: Exogender ./. END PT]

Both Exogender and Erenth individuals do not participate in the construct of gender, thus lacking a gender identity, but differ in that the Erenth label specifies an unique, individual sense of self one embraces entirely independent of the construct of gender identity. Exogender, while not truly being a gender identity by it's definition, attempts to fill the lexical gap by relating to the construct, where the Erenth label does not participate in it explicitly and outright.

Apogender

[PT: Apogender. ./. END PT]

Both Apogender and the Erenth label involve being divorced from the concept of gender, but differ in that Apogender is an Agender microlabel, whereas Erenth is not a gender identity and involves embracing the self.

Pomogender

[PT: Pomogender ./. END PT]

Both Pomogender and the Erenth label involve denying preexisting gender labels, but differ in that Erenth is not a gender identity, denies the entirety of the construct of gender and embraces a unique, individual sense of self outside of gender.

Cassgender

[PT: Cassgender ./. END PT]

Both Cassgender and the Erenth label may involve feeling indifferent towards the concept of gender, but differ in that Cassgender is a gender identity whereas the Erenth is not a gender identity, does not participate in the construct and specifically involves embracing a unique, individual sense of self outside of gender.

Yonderi

[PT: Yonderi ./. END PT]

Both Yonderi and Erenth are labels describing transcending gender, but differ in that the Erenth label also does not participate in or internalize the construct while also specifically embracing a unique, individual sense of self outside of gender. Erenth can be considered to have a yonderine quality, but doesn't have to.

Genderfree

[PT: Genderfree ./. END PT]

Both Genderfree and the Erenth label both refer to an undefined state where gender is not present, but unlike Genderfree, Erenth rejects the construct of gender in it's entirety, is not an ambiguous identity nor is it definitively queer in itself. Furthermore, an Erenth individual's identity is related to their sense of self, which is not specified by the label genderfree.

Pride Flag

[PT: Pride Flag ./. END PT]

The flag was created by myself (Gent, GJ) at the same time as the term. The flag has nine horizontal stripes of the same size. From top to bottom, the stripes are dark grey, peach, dark red, cream, desaturated light green, cream, dark red, peach and dark grey. The stripes have the following meanings:

The bottom and top dark grey stripes represent the lack of internalization of gender.

The two peach stripes represents complete non-participation in the construct of gender.

The two dark red stripes represents knowledge and conviction.

The two cream stripes represent one's values and ideals.

The middle desaturated light green stripe represents one's inner sense of self.

[PT: The bottom and top dark grey stripes represent the lack of internalization of gender.The two peach stripes represents complete non-participation in the construct of gender. The two dark red stripes represents knowledge and conviction.The two cream stripes represent one's values and ideals. The middle desaturated light green stripe represents one's inner sense of self. ./. END PT]

I also created a simplified, five-stripe version using the same colors and meaning as the nine-stripe flag. The simplified flag has five horizontal stripes of the same size. From top to bottom, they are dark grey, peach, dark red, cream and desaturated light green.

Glyph

[PT: Glyph ./. END PT]

As Erenth is not a gender, it does not have a planetary glyph associated with it. Instead, the Erenth identity is represented by the typographical obelus, styled as a double dagger mark, U+2021 (‡). The obelus represents, "an iron roasting spit, a dart, or the sharp end of a javelin, symbolizing the skewering or cutting out of dubious matter. (Wikipedia)", which is similar to the manner in which an Erenth individual embraces their selfhood (separated from gender), but not the construct of gender (the dubious matter). The double dagger mark was specified to represent a coupled rejection of gender and acceptance of the self.

[starlightfallz]

Debating on posting this for a while, since I don't really use tumblr all that often. Here's sort of a AU slash OCfied version of Eve.

Eden's Paradise. When co working on their design with a friend [@/thewalkingbaka ] [ The others arts are made by @/cometshaper @/cryyon on twitter!] We really wanted to nail in more of the abstract arty vibe with this AU Throughout Eve's design and boss battle the theme's of escapism through the medium of art really struck and inspired me for a lot of this design. Escape reality embrace the abstract and be free from the retraints that is your mind. Artist use art to create idealistic worlds, scenes and images and then the theme of EDEN came up. With EVE being the name of the first woman in the garden of EDEN it just made sense,. The usage of wet and fluid elements in her design contrasted by the sharp / pointed geometric shapes are the perfect balance of framed freedom. Her extra arms are made of paint and appear smudge and very abstract, something that inhuman and strange. The eyes are themes of the phrase "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' She see's beauty in everything, the bad and the good. The ugly and the so called beautiful, kinda why I have one of her eyes covered with the funky paint eye. To escape the chains of reality, that bound us to the conforms of society. The restrictions that suffocate of our freedom and individuality, to paint is to be free Freedom to express one's self, freedom to make the life you want your own. to be who you were always meant to be. To paint is to mold and shape into your desires. forever changing, forever free For that is paradise and the frames that behold these pictures of gates to paradise, her very own garden of EDEN. That's pretty much my thought process and lore kind of with this take? IG? I'll have more outfits with designs featuring more garden and nature elements as of right now this is her main look. I don't see them as someone who follows the binary at all, when it comes to looks and gender expression. A very all pronoun, Non binary artist that bends and breaks whatever society deems the norm- I'll go on about them in full detail in another post this is already longenough

[planet-gay-comic]

Art Nouveau, Bathhouses, and Winter Gardens Art, Body, and the Beginnings of LGBTQ+ Liberalization The Art Nouveau movement, also known as Jugendstil, developed between 1890 and 1910 as a reaction to industrial materialism and the often strict, puritanical morality of the Victorian era. Art Nouveau celebrated nature, the aesthetics of the human body, as well as the expression of emotions and individuality through organic forms, flowing lines, and floral motifs. This movement, which manifested in architecture, design, painting, and sculpture, played a crucial role in questioning and dissolving outdated societal norms. Although Art Nouveau as an independent art movement ended in the 1920s, its stylistic elements and ideas continued to influence architecture and design in the decades that followed.

The Victorian era (1837-1901) was characterized by strict morality, rigid gender roles, and a conservative view of sexuality. The body was often regarded as something shameful, and sexual openness or the recognition of LGBTQ+ relationships were socially taboo and even criminalized. Art Nouveau broke with these restrictive norms. The movement emphasized the beauty and sensuality of the human body without moral judgment. Artists such as Gustav Klimt, Aubrey Beardsley, and Alfons Mucha created works that celebrated sexuality, intimacy, and the human body in ways far removed from Victorian prudery. This opened up new ways of thinking about the body, sensuality, and human connections.

In parallel with the Art Nouveau movement, luxurious bathhouses and winter gardens emerged across Europe. These spaces not only served as places for relaxation and retreat from hectic urban life but also became symbols of the interplay between nature, the body, and art. Art Nouveau bathhouses were exquisitely designed, often lavishly decorated venues where architecture, art, and the human body harmoniously merged.

Winter gardens, originally found in the homes of the wealthy upper class, were often glass oases where nature was artfully integrated into urban spaces. These spaces offered refuge from the outside world and became places of self-discovery, contemplation, and sometimes expressions of non-conforming sexual orientations.

In this era, bathhouses and similar venues often existed on the fringes of societal norms and began to take on special significance for the emerging LGBTQ+ subculture. Bathhouses, particularly in major cities like Paris, Berlin, and Vienna, became meeting places for people who sought to explore their sexual orientation in a time when homosexuality was often still suppressed or criminalized.

Bathing itself, long symbolically associated with purity and cleansing, transformed in the context of Art Nouveau into a symbol of liberation from restrictive norms. The corporeality openly displayed in these spaces provided LGBTQ+ individuals with an opportunity to meet outside the rigid societal rules and explore their identity.

The Art Nouveau movement and its associated new openness toward the body and sensuality offered artists and intellectuals a platform to advocate for the rights of individuals who deviated from the conservative norms of the time. Writers like Oscar Wilde and Magnus Hirschfeld fought for the decriminalization of homosexuality and laid the groundwork for the later liberation movements of the LGBTQ+ community.

The Art Nouveau era marked a turning point in Western culture and society. It was not only a celebration of art and nature but also an era of upheaval and emancipation from strict moral norms. Bathhouses and winter gardens became places of retreat, freedom, and intimacy, especially for those who did not fit into the rigid corset of Victorian society. The Art Nouveau movement and its associated aesthetics paved the way for new perspectives on the human body, sexuality, and the acceptance of LGBTQ+ individuals in a society that was slowly but steadily changing.

Text supported by GPT-4o and Claude 3.5 Sonnet

Image generated with SD1.5. Overworked with inpainting (SD1.5/SDXL) and composing.

[drdemonprince]

I don't know if this a place to share, or if this even relevant to anything, but i want to share an observation. I've been around queer groups for a decade or so, usually just observing and listening, and something i have observed is that very slowly trans women (specially out trans women and non-passing ones) seem to have incredible being reduce in meetings and talks. Like i used to see way more of them but now it is becoming less and less. For some reason they seem to have been push out of the spaces very subtly and nobody seems to care (i don't have an explanation of this at all). On the other hand the amount of trans men and trans masculine folk seem to have maintained some consistency. I don't exactly know whats going on this communities, but there seems to be something that is pushing trans women away, while not having the same effect on trans men. I don't have any solutions, just wanted to share because i feel like as a trans woman I am less and less welcomed in queer spaces but can't really pin point why is that.

Thanks for your message anon and for sharing this observation. The thing is: We know what is going on! Trans women talk about this all the time! Trans men and other TME trans people speak over them, sexually harass them, downplay their concerns, talk about them having "male" socialization, take advantage of their emotional labor, ignore them, don't give them room to be vulnerable, nitpick their stories of abuse and mistreatment, disbelieve them when they have been victimized, and all the while complain that they are so much more visible and have so many more resources than trans mascs do (which just is not true) and talking about how disgusting penises are.

You probably have not noticed these dynamics happening directly; most men are oblivious to sexism to an extent, and even men who have experienced plenty of sexism themselves as trans guys can miss these dynamics when they are experienced by trans women. It also is the case that a lot of the worst abuses happen behind the scenes: there are a lot of predatory people who are trans or enby yet behave as invasive chasery creeps to trans women, all while constantly indicating to trans women that they will not be believed if they come forward about abuse -- and in fact will be accused of being the abusers themselves.

I have multiple trans women friends here in Chicago who simply cannot show up to certain queer community events like beach days or club nights because they know there's a specific "afab enby" there who will grope them and then accuse them of abuse. There's entire self-defense guides designed for trans women meant to address this specific issue because it is so widespread.

And that is just one issue that a lot of trans women face in gender diverse or generally queer spaces. At a queer/pup karaoke night two weeks ago, multiple drunk bar patrons harassed and physically attacked a trans woman there, and then when the cops arrived, they tried to arrest the trans woman. (Thankfully all the bar staff and event organizers were very very clear that she was not the one provoking the fight -- but the cops still didn't really believe them. The man who attacked her is banned from the bar now forever. She isn't. If she'd been in a slightly less sympathetic crowd, who knows what would have happened).

In another local queer community group I used to attend, a trans femme board member was accused of abuse in the vaguest terms possible -- by someone who has now, years later, been outed as abusing multiple women close to him himself. Most people in this group have no idea about it, of course. It all happened in shadowy conjecture and whisper campaigns. I could go on and on and thanks for your patience but you get the picture.

I don't know what the vibe is in the groups you frequent, and I can't guarantee that any of the trans women have dropped off the map because of anything as severe as this, but I pretty much can guarantee there are some dynamics there that are making them uncomfortable. My suggestion? If there were any trans women in the group that you liked, try hitting them up. Ask some of them out for coffee. Ask what she's been reading or watching lately. Go to the museum or a show. Be her friend. Don't pry about why she stopped going to the group, just be a friendly, supportive presence in her life. In time, you might learn why she and others like her stopped going to that space. or you'll just have greater gender diversity in your life and your support circle, which is really important. Some trans spaces are utterly ruined by the presence of a few toxic trans mascs or aggressively afab-identified people. But you can help to build better spaces one relationship at a time.

Thanks again for your message.

[post-punk-revival]

The one mystery I've never been able to solve is how I'm not goth, because at the point where I get dressed in my matching black skull design clothes and go out to the cemetery at 10 pm to listen to industrial darkwave and write sad poetry about loneliness in pocket notebooks, it's like, I have all the pieces but they don't make a whole picture. It's like going to a guy who draws anthropomorphic animals and wears fursuits to cons and says "so you're a furry" and he's like "nah I'm not" so you say "but you draw anthropomorphic animals and wear fursuits to cons and that's all that makes someone a furry, by definition you are" and he goes "yeah I know." I'm a self-identified tragedy writer and horror fanatic. I was a literature major before I dropped out to pursue the aimless burnout artist lifestyle. I'm a raven therian who used to have Cotard's delusion and hates summer because it's too happy. I dress like it's either Halloween or a funeral every day and conduct myself with the stereotypical subtly-melodramatic yet depressive sobriety. Gender non-conforming both ways. I don't like modern houses because don't have as many bugs or ghosts. I have an entire tag on my blog dedicated to the profound appreciation of insignificant or ugly things. The biggest reason I'm not is because goth is a scene and I'm too socially isolated. All I'm saying is this comes so naturally to me that I never even really consider myself goth so if I ever decided to do so I'd be like, the Alpha Goth. AGAB (assigned goth at birth)

[mitigatedchaos]

[ tumblr user ]

"Afab trans woman" why do you view trans womanhood as a Vibe you wanna adopt and not a collection of a wide range of experiences based on the material circumstance of being assigned male at birth and transitioning to become a woman. We've always had afab people who call themselves trans women (it's why so many of us are so militant about tme vs tma, because these people would try to pass themselves off as us and speak over us) and it's cause people want the culture and coolness that we have cultivated for ourselves without having our struggle. They want the cultural view of being the epitome of queerness that's thrust upon us without having to deal with the transmisogyny that that same culture throws at us

We've gotten a few isolated and largely unconfirmed reports of AFAB people identifying as MtF trans.

It's difficult to tell if this is a real thing, or if it's a one-in-a-million thing that's just being noticed and amplified by the internet, or if it's some people making these stories up for internet clout or for other reasons.

I've been considering the increase in identification as "non-binary" compared to 2008 levels, and I have a theory.

Back in the 2000-2008 era, the Internet was still a separate place you would go. You would physically sit down at your computer, log on, and then go on websites or use messenger services, etc. Corporate and government use of the Internet was more limited. There was more socially acceptable use of alternate channels such as phones, physical meetups, etc.

Cyberspace was real, but it wasn't ubiquitous. It didn't follow you around when you logged off.

Now, thanks to smartphones and increasing dependence on the internet, cyberspace is almost everywhere. Data is light, it doesn't weigh much, and it can smoothly glide at a moment's touch. Privacy in physical space can disappear with only a few seconds of notice.

The cyberspace layer is a new layer on the stack of what has to be considered in social interactions.

The social contagion theory is about the idea of male-identifying gender non-conformity spreading to girls and young women from outside as a meme (in terms of a self-replicating idea) resulting in local social pressure. However, we can invert it:

What if it's a hiding place?

Our current system of ordinary laws is not designed for constant, thorough enforcement. If we were constantly monitored by AI to enforce our current laws, it would be intolerable.

The ubiquity of smartphones and social media may have lead to a radical increase in internally felt social pressure for gender conformity, and a narrowing of what's considered acceptable gender behavior.

While from the outside, most of us would say, "Yeah, there can be masculine women, so what?" for people who have a high internalization of social pressure, that might not be good enough.

Identifying as "non-binary" provides social permission (including internal social permission) not to be layered with 3mm of makeup, even though the influencers are presumably off presenting their unrealistically flashy lives on internet video platforms doing just that.

As for MtF specifically, in terms of what's visible it tends to be a pretty intense band of humanity, culturally, and especially online.

There are a number of reasons for this, but to emphasize one of them, if you have people that are uncomfortable in real life, they may spend a lot of time online, and if they're not mindlessly devoting that to social warfare, they may devote that to cultural development. As more culture development shifts online, they'll have a disproportionate influence. The current cohort of MtFs also hit a bit earlier, so they're a bit further along, career-wise, and a bit more knowledgeable.

So it wouldn't be surprising for a number of young AFAB people, who are evaluating 'who they want to be', to look out there, and decide to try on 'trans woman' as a label and see how it fits, see if it changes them, or helps them fit in.

But is that actually happening? I dunno.

[clownjuiceart]

Happy Valentine’s Day my clowns! I hope all a honking good day! Specially to my gay, lesbian, bisexual clowns, My endearing trans and non-binary folks clowns! And gender non-conforming clowns as well <3

Let’s not forget my aromantic and asexual clowns, I hope you clowns get your self something sweet to snack on ( fun dip is my personal favorite!)

No matter how your heart is structured and design, the beat of honk is always true, just enjoy the day, don’t stress silly social norms, clowns are always ready for fun, norms and fun don’t rhyme nor compare, remember be yourself, that is what makes a clown :0}

[the-masquerade-council]

Conformant-ish

A term for for when someone's close to but not quite conformant. This is an umbrella term and one does not have to be conformant-ish in all way to use it, for example a trans person who is hetero-ish could use the term.

Please note these are meant to be self description terms, and should not be used on people who do not self identify with them. And nobody has to use these term, even if they exactly match an example used on the post.

I may make a set of sister flags to this, maybe, maybe not.

(sub terms underneath. color/design meanings here.)

Hetero-ish / Straight-ish(terms and flags can be used interchangeably)

A term for for when someone's close to but not quite hetero(sexual,romantic,ect)/straight. This can be for a variety of reasons, including being heteroflexible, have a gender that doesn't have an "opposite", have a fluid orientation and/or gender but most commonly experiencing hetero attraction, being caedstraight or shadowstraight, questioning one's orientation and choosing to consider oneself straight until "proven otherwise", any other experiences of near but not exactly hetero/straight attraction and/or hetero/straight attraction with additional complexities to it.

Cis-ish

A term for for when someone's close to but not quite cis(cisgender and/or cissex). This can be for a variety of reasons, including having gender that one views as similar enough to one's AGAB, being cisgenderless, being both cis and trans, having a "non traditional" relationship with cisness vs transness do to cultural reasons and/or being intersex, having a unique relationship with cisness do to be an alter in a system, questioning one's gender and choosing to consider oneself cis until "proven otherwise", any other experiences of near but not exact cisness and/or cisness with additional complexities to it.

Perisex-ish

A term for for when someone's close to but not quite perisex(or whichever synonym). This is usually because someone is questioning if they are intersex and consider themself perisex until they find evidence to the contrary. It can also refer to having [not do to transitioning] sex traits that considered "non typical" but aren't intersex, or no one has talked about if they're intersex or not. Or other experiences similar to the first two.

Do NOT use this term to imply that perisex altersex and transsex people are somehow no longer fully perisex because they are transitioning. No one can "transition to non-perisex".

Monoamorous-ish, and Allo-ish

A term for for when someone's close to but not quite monoamorous. This can be for a variety of reasons, including being monoflexible, being monoamorous in most types relationships but not all, questioning one's amory and choosing to consider oneself monoamorous until "proven otherwise", any other experiences of near but not exactly monoamorous and/or monoamorous with additional complexities to it.

A term for for when someone's close to but not quite allo(or allospec). This can be for a variety of reasons, including being alloflexible or light greysexual, questioning one's orientation and choosing to consider oneself allo until "proven otherwise", any other experiences of near but not exactly allo attraction and/or allo attraction with additional complexities to it. (specific allo orientations are here)

[gladiolusarchive]

LGBTQIA+ Initiatives in the US

Los Angeles Department of Mental Health

LACDMH is committed to promoting the wellbeing and resilience of LA County’s LGBTQIA2-S+ individuals and communities, which represent a diverse range of gender and sexual expressions, identities and orientations.

Boys & Girls Club of America - LGBTQ Initiative

After more than 160 years serving youth, we know that a sense of belonging is everything, and that’s especially true for LGBTQ+ kids and teens. With a foundation of safety and acceptance, kids are more likely to get involved, make new friends, and build skills to support their success. Boys & Girls Clubs provide millions of kids and teens a place to belong, know their value and reach their full potential.

The Trevor Project

39% of LGBTQ+ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year. We’re responding to the public health crisis of suicide among LGBTQ+ young people by building a safer, more inclusive world.

Rainbow Labs

Are you 13-18 years old and exploring if you are queer and/or gender non-conforming? If so, we have numerous mentoring programs for you to choose from designed by other queer and gender-nonconforming youth. Our comprehensive program includes storytelling, creative arts, career exploration, entrepreneurship, leadership, LGBTQ+ history and culture, and sports.

National LGBTQ Task Force

The National LGBTQ Task Force builds power, takes action, and creates change to achieve freedom, justice, and equity for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people. As the progressive voice of the LGBTQ movement and the LGBTQ voice of the progressive movement, the National LGBTQ Task Force organizes people and money in pursuit of liberation for all.

American Osteopathic Foundation - LGBTQ+ Health Equity & Inclusion Initiative

The American Osteopathic Foundation (AOF) envisions a world without discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity, where health disparities do not exist. Those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, intersex, or asexual (LGBTQ+) are provided with excellent healthcare in an environment free from prejudice.

ACLU - LGBTQ Rights

The ACLU works to ensure that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people can live openly without discrimination and enjoy equal rights, personal autonomy, and freedom of expression and association.

It Gets Better

Since 2021, It Gets Better has distributed more than $1.3 million to fund student-led school based grants to middle and high schools throughout the United States and Canada. to date, we’ve funded more than 140 projects in 47 states and 9 Canadian provinces and territories, supporting projects that uplift and empower LGBTQ+ students.

Equality Federation

Equality Federation is an advocacy accelerator rooted in social justice, building power in our network of state-based lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) advocacy organizations. We work collaboratively on critical non-partisan issues—from advancing workplace fairness and family recognition to defeating anti-transgender bills and HIV criminalization laws—that affect how LGBTQ+ people experience the world from cradle to grave.

Sylvia Rivera Law Project

The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression, regardless of income or race, and without facing harassment, discrimination, or violence. SRLP is a collective organization founded on the understanding that gender self-determination is inextricably intertwined with racial, social and economic justice. Therefore, we seek to increase the political voice and visibility of low-income people and people of color who are transgender, intersex, or gender non-conforming. SRLP works to improve access to respectful and affirming social, health, and legal services for our communities. We believe that in order to create meaningful political participation and leadership, we must have access to basic means of survival and safety from violence. Much of the information on their website is also available in Spanish!

GLMA: Health Professionals Advancing LGBTQ+ Equality

LGBTQ+ specific health research is underfunded and underutilized, especially when it comes to research on and by BIPOC LGBTQ+ people, intersex people, and other historically-excluded intersectional identities. As the oldest and largest association of LGBTQ+ and allied health professionals, GLMA is a vital resource for policy-makers and coalition partners working to promote LGBTQ+ health equity. GLMA provides practice-changing continuing education for health professionals and resources to educate and empower LGBTQ+ patients. They also have a LGBTQIA+ Provider Directory.

Trans Lifeline

Trans Lifeline connects trans people to the community support and resources we need to survive and thrive. We envision a world where trans people have the connection, economic security, and care everyone needs and deserves—free of prisons and police.

True Colors United

True Colors United implements innovative solutions to youth homelessness by focusing on the experiences of those most impacted —LGBTQ+ and BIPOC youth. True Colors United is guided by two core beliefs: those who’ve experienced an issue first-hand hold the keys to the solution, and improving outcomes for the most impacted communities benefits everyone.

If you know of additional resources, please add them in a reblog!

[cafrinn]

embracing the feminine 12/13/24

i don't think i'm outlandish in stating that living as a woman its a consistent battle between you and the world. all women on the planet are familiar with the tornado that spirals in your head when thinking of how you play your role as a woman. who am i meant to be? how do i fit in enough to be desirable in society without sacrificing who i am as a person? am i anything more than just a woman? do i need to be? what can i do to become the best version of myself? why is this the prescription for being the ideal woman?

i can do my hair in 45 million different styles, calculate which outfits suite my body type, do my makeup in just the right way that makes me intriguing to others. all of this plus the million other things that are told to us in the woman's bible of existing. i walk into the world as the best version of myself everyday. i always try to look put together and exude the message that i have mastered how to be the perfect woman. even with all of this, i come home, take off this skin, and i ponder if i really am what i put into the world. is it all a lie? who do i do this for? yes it makes me feel amazing to look great, i think self care and effort in appearances is extremely important. on the other hand, who told me that this was the right way to be a woman? why is it that when i stray from the formula that i have created for myself to be a "divine feminine character" i feel so gross. i'm sure i'm not alone in this feeling. the one you get when your hair doesn't look right, your outfit makes you look "frumpy", your nails look a bit beaten, you did't have enough time to do good enough makeup, etc etc etc. to me, it feels dirty. to go out in public in a slight disarray appearance wise.

all this to say, what is the meaning of being a perfect woman? i'm not sure anyone has a clear cut answer to this. i'm sure that someone with a doctor in sociology can logistically pinpoint all of the characteristics society has been good for a woman to embody. that isn't what i am trying to get at. how does one feel comfortable in their gender identity without it feeling preformative? isn't that was gender is anyways? a societal construct in which we perform the play that the world has given to you based on the genitalia you were born with?

the debate of gender is one that i've thought about a lot in my time on earth. as someone in the LGBTQ+ community who has habitually inhibited online spaces designated for those in said community since i could navigate the online plane, i'm not stranger to discourse on gender. feminist spaces that say being a woman in this world is too confining. spaces in which gender non-conforming people share their stories in which the feminine was not something that spoke to them. this among many things has led deep introspection in my mind, mainly when i was a bit younger. i deliberated my own gender for quite some time. am i comfortable with being a woman? would i be happier if i was non-binary or trans? i dabbled in a more androgynous way of dressing for experimental sake. i was so convinced that i did not have what it took to be a good woman. i wasn't really like the other girls around me. i felt like i didn't read the guidebook on how to be a woman. maybe it was a lack of a connection with my mother. maybe it was just a fault in my identity. who knows? regardless I spent so much time wondering how I could be a good woman. one that men desire and women envy.

through all of this pondering, i decided that i did in fact enjoy being a woman, i just didn't know how to enjoy it. I spent my time looking at countless sources of media and how they pictured women. how their bodies looked. how they did their hair and nails. did reading on what men like. what women like. i studied the art of womanhood so intensely. trying to analyze all of the characteristics i needed to embody to feel good about myself. I learned and i implemented step by step. red nail theory, how to speak to men, how to do my makeup, what my body should look like and the steps in which i needed to achieve that look. after a certain point, everyone around me was convinced that i was one of the people i once envied. a good woman. i even saw my peers envy me. what a sight. still, i didn't feel like a good woman. i was lusted after by countless men and women always told me how pretty i was but it didn't feel right. there was something missing.

at times i still do think that there is something missing. when all of my makeup is off and i look in the mirror i wonder if i am doing a good job as a woman. there is something that has helped me with this. this being, tapping into not only the physical manifestation of womanhood, but the spiritual one. anyone can pull off the looks and act the way they think they should, but not many people truly know what it is to delve into the feminine spirit. i think that me being a wlw helped me with this. being able to see such beauty in the raw state of womanhood. the softness and the strength.

i wish i could give a guidebook on how to become more spiritually feminine in order to feel secure as a woman in the world but i simply cannot. i have a pinterest board full of feminine infographics and affirmations but beyond that i cannot. it's about tapping into yourself and noticing what feminine trait you have and how they serve you. i like to do uterus minded yoga and mediation at times but i can see how it seems a bit outlandish. the prescription to being a perfect woman is seeing the woman within yourself, battered around by societal expectations and molded into something she may not be, and loving her unconditionally. giving her the space to bloom and flourish. doing yoga to show love to your feminine frame. tapping into what being in a feminine energy feels like to you and doing everything to protect that nourish that blissful state of being. I feel most feminine and wonderful when i do put that effort into my appearance, being able to express my femininity, but that may not be what makes you feel most feminine.

i don't think anyone has mastered the art of being a perfect woman, but i do know that embracing the woman inside of yourself is as close to perfect as you can get.

[velvet-cupcake-games]

Happy Pride Month!

Oh hey, it's June again, woot!

This one goes out to my fellow in-betweenies, my lovers of liminal spaces, my boundary-walkers, my happily binary-escaping buddies.

This Pride Month I'm posting a bit about our protagonist, Marion. Long-time readers of our Tumblr know that Marion is not designed as a fully self-insert protagonist. She has a set gender identity and sexuality, both of which are part of the game's plot.

Like Earth Medieval society, Avalon society doesn't have a strong concept of an inborn sexual orientation, so I don't use modern terms for sexuality in the game. However, Marion is bi/pansexual in modern terms, and this is canon in the text (she has a romantic past with a woman, and it's mentioned in the prologue and discussed in one of the lore stories in our Mega-Guide).

I use bi/pansexual because I haven't defined her sexuality granularly enough to choose between the two, and I don't particularly care to. Marion is potentially attracted to people of any gender, and although she's not educated about non-binary people as of the beginning of the game, Meissa's gender makes intuitive sense to her. She has her own thoughts about gender and although she's cis, she doesn't exactly fit in the gender role box she's been given. So to hear that someone doesn't identify entirely as a man or woman isn't a shock to her.

Marion's sexuality is not a major storyline theme in the game because it's not a huge deal in Avalon society. Avalons know that people have different sexual preferences and it's not a big deal. Commoners give zero shits whatsoever. Nobles are generally expected to marry someone of the opposite sex in order to produce heirs, but nobody cares who they sleep with on the side. And some nobles like Theo (and Marion, on Alanna's route) challenge even that expectation. As I've mentioned before, Alanna's social class is a much larger hurdle to a romance with Marion than her gender.

Marion is a cisgender woman who is gender non-conforming. She prefers activities that are socially reserved for noblemen rather than noblewomen, and has had the rare chance to indulge in those activities while running her father's holding while he was away at war. Her gender and her unconventional response to those who hoped to see her meet conventional gender roles worked heavily against her during that period (something that will also be addressed in the prologue). The fallout of the way she was treated during that time crops up in various routes, particularly Robin's.

This is the part of Marion's personality that maps most closely to my personal experience (she's definitely not an author-insert, but y'know, we all do use our personal experiences to shape our narratives). I'm an older queer and didn't have the words to define myself as non-binary for a long time, so I spent a lot of my life struggling between who I wanted to be and the expectations placed upon me based on my perceived gender. Of course, having the language to label myself doesn't stop people from trying to police my gender, but it definitely helps on an internal level.

I don't mind at all if players want to imagine Marion as somebody who discovers a non-binary identity as she ages, but she maintains a cisgender identity in the game. Although I myself am non-binary (and frankly always have been), many of my dear ones are gender non-conforming cis people. Just like bisexuality isn't an "in-between" stop that leads to homo- or heterosexuality, gender-noncomformity doesn't necessarily lead to non-cis identity.

[silverity]

why are you a terf

i'm not exactly "trans-exclusionary" and my views are more-so aligned with marxist feminism but with heavy influences of radical feminism.

i am what people like to brand a "terf" bc "gender identity" has no basis in marxist feminism nor radical feminism. both are female-centric ideologies supporting the liberation of women as a female sex class. this would involve the overthrow of patriarchy and of all social systems oppressing women (capitalism, white supremacy, imperialism etc.)

marxist feminism recognises women are oppressed on the basis of sex, we are exploited and abused (by the male sex class and the capitalist class) because we are female (treated as a reproductive and sexual resource). radical feminism recognises this sex-based oppression as the core of patriarchy (a system of male supremacy), and explains that gender is a social structure designed to maintain women's sexual oppression (for example through female socialisation & gender essentialism). gender is therefore something determined by society, imposed on all of us on the basis of our sex, and cannot be chosen through "self-identifying". it is a system of subservience (femininity) and dominance (masculinity).

in any case i don't think it is at all progressive anyway, to "self-identify" with the categories (masculinity/femininity) of an oppressive social hierarchy. "trans" people themselves do not seem to agree on what it is exactly that makes a person "trans", but for the most part they seem to claim some innate sense of femininity or masculinity. this is just repackaged gender essentialism. gender identity ideology therefore does not break the gender binary (which is really a hierarchy), it merely allows people to choose their own place within it. but nobody is innately feminine or masculine. all we are is biologically female or male, and this does not (should not) determine our traits and roles, nor our value or position in society.

so i am "exclusionary" of "trans women" because they are male, and as such belong to the oppressor sex class. they are not female, they do not experience sexism or misogyny or any form of sex-based oppression. simply put my feminism is for women and they are not women. however, i support the liberation of all, males and "trans" people included, in the form of gender abolition. essentially this would be an end to assigning gender to the sexes, to the oppression of those gender non-conforming (who may call themselves "trans/non-binary") and the overthrow of the gender hierarchy of men over women.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

List of Sexualities for Current list of Dragon Age MCs:

For Freedom’s Design

Cian Mahariel: Bisexual. Does prefer men as a whole but is fairly equal in his interest. Romances Zevran, and has a threesome with Isabela.

Lorry Hawke: Bisexual. Goes for girls mostly due to her complicated feeling on motherhood and the scare of a child. Romances Isabela. Did have a minor crush on Fenris that went nowhere.

Mila Trevylan: Asexual but unaware. She’s interested in sex but only in a ‘this sounds interesting’ thing. Does enjoy it so she remains unaware. Romances Iron Bull after a brief flirtation with Blackwell she ends due to her uncomfortable with the idea of being with someone who sees her as the Herald of Andraste.

Good Men Need Rules

Folcher Aueducan: Bisexual but unaware. He’s always just looked at woman. Romances Leliana.

Archie Hawke: Demisexual. Struggled with ideas of attraction for most of his life. Romances Merrill who he loves dearly.

Lucas Cadash: Straight. Romances Cassandra.

Crashing Fantasies

Noamahn Tabris: Straight. He once tried with a guy but deemed it not for him. Romances Morrigan

Aine Hawke: Bisexual. Had a huge thing for Isabela but ends up with Anders. Is a himbo to the max.

Davhalla Lavellan: Pansexual. Had a thing for multiple members of the Inquisition, including Harding. Davhalla ends up with Solas in the end.

Those We Care For

Rosalind Amell: Gaaaaaaaaaay. She didn’t used to be but she developed into it. Romances Leliana.

Lilith Hawke: Bisexual. Has no preference. Gets with Anders.

Shok Adaar: Bisexual. Has a thing for Blackwall and Sera. I had two ways she went I’ve landed on her romancing Sera.

Mistakes Make us People

Thea Surana: Straight. Mostly. A pretty butch woman turns her head but it’s not common. Ends up with Alistair.

Teddy Hawke: Straight. Annoyed me since I wanted to romance Isabela but Teddy kept yelling straight. Romances Fenris then Anders.

Ophelia Trevylan: Straight. Never tried and never wanted to. Pretended to be to help a friend avoid and annoying admirer. Romances Blackwall.

With Bloody Hands

Muirin Cousland: No clue. Legit this girl is only into power. She does end up carings for Alistair in the end but she romances him for the power.

Willow Hawke: Straight. Romances Sebastian because she honestly liked him but it was a plus he’s a prince.

Gloria Trevylan: Straight. Was only into Iron Bull at first but romances Cullen for the power. Does actually come to love him.

Uneasy Rests the Laurels

Lochlan Hawke: Bisexual. Romances Zevran and married Anora. Ends up in an honest triad with them.

Simon Hawke: Gay. Very much. Romances Fenris.

Edmund Trevylan: Bisexual. Romances Dorian, and loves him very much.

Revolution is Never Kind

Runa Amell: Murder. And men. Very straight, romances Zevran.

Wyome Hawke: asexual but very into Anders and Justice. Has no positive or negative thoughts in sex.

Faith Sustains

Brynja Brosca: Gay. Has had sex with men for money but rates it a 0 each time. Romances Leliana.

Aisley Hawke: She is asexual and sex repulsed. Falls in love with Sebastian and they have a chaste marriage he supports and loves even when Prince because he is a good guy.

Charity Cadash: Bisexual. Also a trans woman who doesn’t talk about it much. Romances Josiephine.

To Be Kind

Caoimhe Tabris: Bisexual. Is into buff people though. Romances Alistair.

Ivy Hawke: Bisexual. Isn’t that focused on romance with everything. Romances Fenris.

Revas Lavellan: Pansexual. Has had casual relationships with all genders. Dabbled in gender non conforming and identity stuff. Not for her. Romances Solas.

Love Yourself

Riley Cousland: Straight. Has a lot of internal issues regarding beauty and self worth. Romances Zevran.

Ivy Hawke: Bisexual. In this world also has a lot of issues she’s working though. Romances Fenris still.

Harel Lavellan: Bisexual. I never really settled on a romance for her, she’s kind of always gravitated towards Josie though. So probably Josephine.