#self care ig lmao

[linda-rose]

ughhhhhhhhh the hardest part about my grad classes atm isn't actually the work or whatever, it will get done no matter what I know that...it's sitting in a classroom for THREE HOURS talking about equity and education with a room full of people that have so much drama and history between them that you can feel it, and one of which is consistently playing oppression olympics and trauma dumping every chance she gets. The emotional labor is just!!!!!!!!

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

[kindahoping4forever]

Ash via Perola Navarro's IG Story

[ohmaggies]

not afraid of oc posting anymore <3 (person who is still afraid of oc posting </3)

[dulciedeleche]

I am posting yuri self-ship art on main because I'm very proud of this and also fuck you <3

[roaringheat]

chat, i did it i finally broke up with my partner

[futurewife]

my ship with C/able has to be my defining life achievement thus far

[self-spaghettification]

they/themavos real

[lizzerswillpoststuffmethinks]

I'm so eepy RAAAAHHH

[piratebay]

it should've been totally obvious due to my actual usage of tumblr, but i completely forgot how Deeply Uncool i was at 17 🙃

[whoblewboobear]

It’s strange, I’m used to hyperfixating hard on things like HARD (beats my 2yr long beetlejuice musical obsession back with a stick) but Starbreaker- not even fantasy high itself took me over to the point of feeling like a teen about. Like I haven’t had this much fun in fandom in years. I haven’t like- interacted with people this much in fandom in years (which is still not enough but if I beat myself up about social interaction again I’ll jump off a cliff)

But there’s never been a concern of like “this obsession won’t fade for a while but it’ll lose popularity” and that’s fine and surprisingly it hasn’t. But it is different. It’s like adapting to it constantly as the thing itself changes even when there are aspects that you’d like to stay the same. Like that ‘I don’t go to this school of thought, but I’ll still take the class bc it’s interesting’ sorta thing.

And then there’s that feeling of WANTING to contribute but the thing has become such a beast that it’s like oooh I’m so out of my depths here.

Also like constantly having to look myself in the eye and be like ‘bitch you don’t have to talk or contribute to EVERYTHING’ and the sooner I accept that and accept that it is what it is, ill miss things, I won’t get enjoyment out of every aspect and every aspect isn’t for me and that that isn’t a bad thing, I’ll stop having moments of feeling weird and out of place. I have my lil corner and that’s okay

[kxllerblond]

my blog my hobby my fun times idc but also i always feel the need to justify this ongoing arc of clark because it's just so...relationship based. and yeah a lot is romance because, let's be frank here and be real, that's a good chunk of the rpc's motivations and wants and it's the easiest to get. but it's also friends and found family, kindred spirits, etc. but he's transitioning into a very heavy emphasis on actual, meaningful connections and yeeeeah it's been a natural path here and yeah it makes sense from a writing standpoint for a muse i've had since like 2012.

like clark's initial arc was yearning for this sort of stuff and not being allowed and then we moved into him actively avoiding it and now we've moved sort of into the 'fuck it. fucked up healing arc' period where he's letting himself feel and love in all senses of the word.

and it all makes sense to me because i've been here through it all but i can just imagine new people stumbling to my blog and seeing hella smut or romance shit or wooby-wubby shit or what's supposed to be this big bad villain making bffs and being turned off or worse thinking i'm just the person for easy shipping or smut shit and writing off clark completely as an individual and that kinda sucks but yKNOW it is what it is

[sirenemale]

Maybe I'm just desensitized from dealing with like cptsd probably ocd neurotic soup unchecked for my whole life and finding ways to just phase out the chatter of it but seeing ppl here talk abt moral ocd and stuff in a way where they refuse to be reminded of racism or anything is baffling to me. Like I don't get how that's helpful for you, instead of separating thoughts and morals from yourself and your actions you're just going oh no my religious ocd is triggered when ppl talk about me having privilege or benefitting from systemic oppression so therefore I'm never going to interact with marginalized people who talk about it ect ect ect. Or proship ppl being like it's too hard to take a stance against incest and age gap ships so they're just no holds bars for it now. Like again maybe I'm being mean, being online is hard I do think the way ppl talk is especially triggering for ocd and the whole born good born bad self flaggelation for forgiveness stuff never be wrong takes especially eat at me but they are symptoms ultimately and letting it box you out from ways you can actually genuienly improve as a person feels wildly unhelpful to me. Sitting with guilt and understanding what is real harm thats been done by you and actual bad things you believed and what is the brain chatter is crucial.

[ningningkittie]

well... i woke up in time for school. which is the hardest part since it starts at 9am nd i always go to sleep at 4am and wake up around 12-13pm lol. but i got up nd checked when the busses are running.. i checked the weather nd it says it's gnna rain. then i thought "do i rlly need to go today..... cant i go next week?". the thing with me is that if i allow myself to have that thought then it's ruined. if i have the thought of not going, then i wont. thats why i make myself just get up nd go thru the motions nd leave, nd never allowing myself to think that. buuuuut i messed up today... i just wanna stay in bed nd go back to sleep T-T im sitting here "thinking abt it" but the time is already running out nd i dont rlly have time to get up nd get ready now. i dont think i'll get in trouble that i missed this week if i just make sure to go every day next week. ugh

[strxnged]

is there a sweet spot between caring too much about what people think and not giving a shit about what people think. because both seem to be kind of toxic for a truly healthy social life

[tonyglowheart]

the "having the new car" part is very cool I will admit. even the dumb phone app that's subscription based but they give you 1 year complementary to hook you ig

it's the everything else you still gotta deal with after buying the car that is sulking for me lmao, like, so much happened and I kind of just had to trust that I wasn't signing stupid shit. And also I gotta check the paper copies they gave me and see if I was supposed to receive some additional documents thru email or if they already gave it to me. and then figure out the online account for the financing (though I may need to wait for the letter in the mail...?). and decide if I try to pay it off right away or keep it open for a bit, like how much of an impact on my credit score would it be to open it and then close it right away (sidebar: it's such bullshit that paying off a loan lowers your credit score because "you closed an account." if anything that should IMPROVE your score. How is paying min payments on time proof you can meet payments but paying off early not proof you can repay loans. fake-ass garbo). and still figure out insurance lmao... though hopefully my parents will help me w that like they said they would (I got a quote for a solo policy lmao and mother was like, that's too much, it's less to add it to the existing plan (tho I'd have to add one of them to the title for that, and I'd have to pay off the loan before I can do that or else they'd have to get added to the loan too)).

and THEN I gotta give the guy a good review bc he offered me the car for msrp no markup lmao, which my mother still thinks is too high but okay mother things right now are So Very Different from when you last bought a car in 2014, supply had been way down due to supply chain redirects and the used car market is hot though cooling down, and apparently dealerships are pivoting their strategies and aren't filling lots with cars that they then have to lower prices on to move (literally was on the radio today, so by the time it's hit the news it's already well underway to being done that way). I think the car I looked at, it was the only one in the area in that color actually lol, and the TrueCar price was like, maybe $50 under MSRP, and like at that rate I didn't feel like I had leverage to bargain the price unless I played hard to get lmao, but I'd have to have gone in with that attitude which I didn't.