#there is no book to read and no oNE has been around since fucking 2012 to know this all actually totally makes sense and should be taken

[kxllerblond]

my blog my hobby my fun times idc but also i always feel the need to justify this ongoing arc of clark because it's just so...relationship based. and yeah a lot is romance because, let's be frank here and be real, that's a good chunk of the rpc's motivations and wants and it's the easiest to get. but it's also friends and found family, kindred spirits, etc. but he's transitioning into a very heavy emphasis on actual, meaningful connections and yeeeeah it's been a natural path here and yeah it makes sense from a writing standpoint for a muse i've had since like 2012.

like clark's initial arc was yearning for this sort of stuff and not being allowed and then we moved into him actively avoiding it and now we've moved sort of into the 'fuck it. fucked up healing arc' period where he's letting himself feel and love in all senses of the word.

and it all makes sense to me because i've been here through it all but i can just imagine new people stumbling to my blog and seeing hella smut or romance shit or wooby-wubby shit or what's supposed to be this big bad villain making bffs and being turned off or worse thinking i'm just the person for easy shipping or smut shit and writing off clark completely as an individual and that kinda sucks but yKNOW it is what it is

[wwillywonka]

wwillywonka's Interests

(links are in red)

-here is my super long, super detailed list of the things i blog about. if you read the whole thing, you're amazing and i love you. thanks<33 -a more comprehensive list of my interests can be found here. i update it often. -please for the love of god do yourself a favour and listen to blooms by arthur sharpe

Willy Wonka/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

special interest since 2014

read my ongoing willy character study fic here

my willy playlist

beside the original dahl books, the 2005 movie is the best and most superior version. i believe this with my whole body, mind, and soul and cannot be convinced otherwise.

other favorite versions of canon: gareth snook on the recent uk tour, gene wilder (of course). see gareth snook’s take on willy’s character here

i have consumed every single piece of wonka related media/content that is reasonably available to the public including horrible elementary school productions on youtube and random college theses. i consider myself the foremost expert about anything and everything regarding willy and can get defensive if that is challenged. i am also aware that i take this way too seriously considering willy is just a silly little fucked up guy who forever ruined my taste in men in my preteens. but i stand by my opinions.

i’ve also been writing a very self-indulgent willy x oc (ross able) fic for nearing 4 years now and have yet to publish it in any capacity. that being said, i tend to talk about it in tags for my own reference, so if you’re ever curious to know more, feel free to ask<3.

i do not support roald dahl, tim burton, or johnny depp in any way. their existences are entirely separate from my enjoyment of catcf. bigotry and prejudice are not tolerated on this blog.

i think the prequel is fine but unnecessary. it’s so whatever to me that i sometimes forget it exists.

i am literally charlie bucket (so obsessed with willy wonka that my parasocial need to be in a weird friendship with him is all-consuming and the only thing that keeps me going). if you ship any of the literal children ticket winners with willy, get off my blog.

willy is my specialist girl, a genius inventor evil capitalist, the blorbo i spin around in my brain 24/7 and want to put in a microwave, my wife, and also the absolute worst guy to ever do it. she is my everything. they’re just a sad gay twink. he’s even bigger than jesus.

Jesus Christ Superstar

the 1973 movie has been one of my favorites since childhood but i became obsessed after seeing the musical on stage in 2023.

yes i connect everything i liked about jcs back to willy and my other fav characters :)

things i write and blog about that are perfectly captured in jcs:

being mortal and being a god are not so different

the line between godhood and celebrityhood being more blurred the further society progresses. both are corruption

toxic, all-consuming co-dependency

sacrificing everything that makes one human for the sake of the “greater good”; becoming unrecognisable, becoming a monster (metaphorically and/or literally)

faith in something that ultimately betrays

being gay and being supppeerr dramatic about it

Alice in Wonderland

i love all versions but have a soft spot for the 2010 movie

fav character: the mad hatter/tarrant hightopp

the 2009 miniseries is weirdly good

alice in wonderland is a war story. to me.

i feel similarly about alice through the looking glass 2016 as i do about wonka 2023

once again, i’ve been writing a fic based off the 2010 movie for years but have yet to publish any part of it. one day, i promise.

Loki

my love for loki started in 2012 when i saw the first avengers movie in theaters but has since grown into a love of norse mythology and its extended history and lore. loki by mevlin burgess is one of my favorite books and is, in my opinion, the best portrayal of the character in recent years. neil gaiman’s norse mythology is also great.

i love tom hiddleston so so so so much<33. he is a phenomenal actor and also a really nice man and deserves so much more recognition than just being “that hot guy who played that villain in marvel.” i recently had the pleasure of sitting in the audience for an interview he did and it was the best day of my entire life. only lovers left alive is one of my favorite movies.

i hate the disney+ show except for the literal last 20 minutes of the last episode which gave me everything i’ve ever wanted out of a loki story.

i used to be really, really, really, extremely into marvel but pretty much stopped caring after endgame (which i feel is the case for a lot of people). that being said, i still love tony stark and spider-man, particularly the toby mcguire movies (cough cough…alfred molina as doc ock <3333).

Star Trek

obsessed with tos and tng, particularly the movies (undiscovered country is my fav!). huge fan of picard. don't really care about the aos movies or a lot of the newer series. i'm also currently watching voyager (janeway is insane i love her).

spent a lot of my nerd life not understanding the appeal until i started watching tng in april 2023 and swiftly became Aware of why it's one of the most famous franchises of all time. also as someone who's super interested in fandom history, particularly queer fandom history, i don't know why i didn't get into trek sooner.

spock is my fav character because he is literally me. i am always crying over him. no one understands spock like i do (<- is exaggerating knowing he is one of the most famous characters in all of pop culture history). we are both mixed race and jewish. we are both autistic and queer. there is literally no other character whose mixed identity is portrayed so well and as such a significant aspect of their story, and i (along with so many others) see so many of the internal conflicts he deals with in myself, particularly when it comes to his relationship with his parents.

sarek's biggest hater. like bestie, YOU married the human.

data is my second fav. mccoy is a close third. picard is a very close fourth. unification pt 1&2 are my fav trek episodes!!!

huge spirk/spones/mcspirk shipper. because duh.

Doctor Who

my favorite show since 2012

fav doctor: capaldi

fav companions/other characters: donna, river, missy/the master. and yes, the tardis

fav episode: heaven sent

murray gold invented music and is everything i aspire to be as a composer

please no moffat discourse i will block you

that being said, chibnall ruined doctor who. jodie whittaker deserved so much better and i do not blame her, an amazing actress, for the horrible writing she had to work with.

currently working my way through classic who and the eu

Other Notable Favorites

Nightmare Before Christmas

Danny Elfman/Oingo Boingo

The Mighty Boosh/Noel Fielding/BritCom

Flowers/Will Sharpe Films

Good Omens

Frankenstein

Shakespeare

Dan and Phil

Adventure Time

Wes Anderson Films

The Beatles

The Picture of Dorian Gray/Oscar Wilde

The Adventure Zone/The McElroys

AURORA

Other Things I Blog About

Robots & cyborgs, dolls

Body segmentation/body horror

Fashion/Fiber Arts

Nostalgia

Clowns

Nature

thanks if you read this far xoxo

[thirsty4villains]

Cool Heat | Chapter 2

Summary: You're an assistant for the Avengers. Loki has been hiding up in his room for the past week. You go to check on him and he's reverted back to his Jotun form, but he's not quite himself. The two of you discover that Jotuns go into cycles of heat, and Loki hasn't been in his Jotun form for over a millennia...

Rating: Explicit (smut in future chapters)

Warnings/Tags: THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN SMUT, and 1 chapter will have some dubcon, Loki lives in Stark Tower with the Avengers (because my brain is perpetually stuck in 2012 Tumblr era), sleep sex, PIV, smut, humor, romance, Jotun!Loki, angst, more tags to be added

Find me on AO3, Wattpad, Patreon

Tagged users: @nyxxharmonia @mischief2sarawr @drunkbirdbug @lorelibrarianlizbit @strawberry--fawn @thenotoriouserg @hereforsmutbcicantgetenough

A/N: Thanks guys for liking the story so much! BTW, smut will begin in chapter 3 ;) anyway, enjoy!

CHAPTER 2 - (Word Count: 2,500)

Two days passed since speaking to Loki and he was still holing himself in his room. Neither you nor any Avenger saw him since you went to check on him on Saturday. His solitude began to worry you, which was peculiar given you barely even liked him. Nonetheless, you gathered the courage to approach his room again.

You knocked on the door. Like last time, twice, and then a pause before knocking three times.

“Loki?” you asked. No response.

“Hey, Loki. You in there?” You asked again.

Still nothing. You placed a hand on the doorknob and spoke once more. 

“Loki, I’m coming in now, okay? If you can hear me, you better make yourself decent.”

Slowly, you cracked the door open. Inside, sitting in the middle of his bedroom floor Loki had a collection of books strewn about, surrounding him. Some were open and some weren’t. A rather large tome rested in his lap. In the back, his bedsheets hung over the side of the bed and twisted all over the place. The light in the room was low and the curtains were drawn closed. The air was also quite chilly.

You entered and Loki looked up from his reading. His red eyes grew wild with anger. “Who told you you could come in here?”

“No one did,” you said. “I’m here to make sure you’re okay, which you clearly aren’t, as you’re still blue and this room is a mess.”

In a flash, Loki got up so that he was merely inches from you. He hovered over you with a menacing aura and his finger pointed to the door.

“Leave.”

“Fine, fuck you,” you said, crossing your arms. “If you don’t want my help then I’ll leave you here to suffer with your alien problems. Have fun, asshole.”

You turned on your heels and headed towards the door.

“Wait,” his tone deflated. Against all logic, you did. “I know I’m being an ass. Please forgive me, my agitation and aggression… it’s only becoming worse. I am not myself.”

You finally turned back around to face him. The god’s face scrunched up like he was in pain.

“Do you want my help or not?” you asked, still tensed up, expecting another outburst at any moment. “You’ve turned me away twice, and very rudely at that.”

“Yes, I know. I apologize.”

“Thank you,” you said, relaxing slightly. His words also surprised you since you didn’t think he had a single bone in him capable of apology.

An awkward silence befell the room as you awaited his response, but he just stood there. You also didn’t notice until now that Loki was quite underdressed. He had no shirt on and the only article that clothed him was a pair of forest green boxers.

“So?” You said. 

“So?”

You rubbed your temples. “So, what do you need help with? I can’t help if I don’t know what the problem is.”

“Yes, of course,” he said sheepishly. He bent down to scoop up the book he was reading. “You will understand my hesitation.”

You rolled your eyes. Was he just wasting your time?

Loki flipped through the heavy book. “The other night, after you came to speak with me, I traveled to Asgard. This affliction had to be explained in our library, and I went there expecting to find an answer and a way to cure myself. I was not going to be caught dead appearing to our healers in my Jotun form, so I came back here with as many books I could find on my race.”

“And did you find anything?”

His brow furrowed and he slammed the book shut. “Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?”

The god sighed out of frustration. “This… affliction I have is no illness. It is an aspect of Jotun pubescence. From reading I have learned that young Jotuns, boys and girls, when they leave childhood and begin to flower into adults they go into heat. I have not told you all of my symptoms. I have been agitated and angry, but most of all I have been incredibly frustrated… sexually.”

You blinked rapidly. “Oh…” You felt your face grow warm. “So you’re — you’re just really horny. But I’m confused, you’re obviously not going through puberty! …Right?”

He shook his head. “I hypothesize that because I spent most of my life unknowingly hiding my true form that perhaps my development as a Jotun was halted or delayed in some way, and it can hold back no longer.”

“Okay,” you said, nodding. “So then why don’t you just find a girl on Tinder or something? Or take care of it yourself?”

“I’ve tried the latter, it didn’t help and only made me angrier. As for finding a girl, I’m afraid that in this form I may hurt her.”

“In what way? You’re no different except your skin.”

“From what I’ve read, Jotun sex is very primal, animalistic. I may lose control of myself.”

“Oh.”

Loki sat down in a nearby chair and exhaled. His muscles flexed underneath the sapphire blue skin as he tried to get comfortable. It was alarming how suddenly intimate this situation with Loki was. He buried his face in his hands, his arms blue and veiny, his raven black hair cascading over his shoulders.

He was kind of beautiful. And you kind of felt bad for him.

“So having sex is the only way to get better?” you asked. 

You tried to shake off a shiver, the cold air in the room was beginning to get to you. You rubbed your arms to ward the goosebumps away.

“As far as I’ve read, yes, that is the only way.” He sounded tired. “Otherwise I may lose control of myself completely and do something that everyone regrets.”

“If that’s the case, what about Natasha?”

His face snapped up, eyes angry. You expected him to begin yelling again but the moment passed. “I am not interested in her, and I highly doubt she is in me. Though she would be a viable candidate considering she can hold her own, it is out of the question.”

“Are you interested in men at all?”

“Yes, but at the moment I crave a woman.”

The way he said it made something within you tingle. You hated yourself so much for what you would say next: “What about me?”

“You?” He stood up. 

The moment the words left your lips, you couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye. He was definitely going to kick you out now, or yell, or maybe even laugh in your face. You weren’t sure what compelled you to volunteer yourself. Even though Loki was an asshole, you felt bad for him. Additionally, it’d been a while since you had a good go with someone and you’d be lying if you said you haven’t felt lonely the past few months. As men go, he’s not ideal, but he’s not the worst either. He also has several traits you find attractive in men: the dark flowing hair, the voice and accent, the cheekbones…

“I’m definitely not as skilled as Natasha. I’m no super Russian spy, but I do have S.H.I.E.L.D. training.” Stop talking, you told yourself.

“You,” he repeated again, approaching you. 

You froze in place – unsure what he would do – then relaxed when he simply reached out and cupped your face with his icy hand. His thumb rested between your ear and your jaw. You looked up to meet his gaze; his devilish, cool gaze. He was studying you. You blushed more.

A fist knocked on the door. Both you and Loki flinched.

“They can’t see me like this,” Loki whispered.

“Okay, okay, umm, get out of sight from the door.”

He did, and you ran to the door, barely creaking it open. Bruce was on the other side.

“Oh, I was expecting to see Loki,” the scientist said. “Is he still sick?”

“Yeah, I just brought him some soup,” you lied. “It’s pretty bad.”

Bruce looked over your shoulder. “Are you going to get sick being in there with him?”

“No, he said it’s not an illness that affects humans.”

His brow furrowed for a moment. “If you say so. Just let him know we’re going on a mission. Not sure when we’ll be back.”

“Okay,” you said.

He had a confused, skeptical look but excused himself. He ran back down the hallway and into the elevator, talking into his communicator to the other Avengers that he was on the way.

Phew. At least that’s dealt with. You shut the door and gave Loki the all clear.

“Um, where were we?” you asked.

“You volunteered yourself to have intercourse with me,” Loki said.

“Oh, yes,” you said, your blush coming back instantly. “That I did. Well, I still stand by it.”

“I thought about it and I appreciate the offer, but no. I cannot take the risk of hurting anyone.”

“So what are you going to do?” you asked.

“I will figure it out,” Loki said, resolute.

“Okay,” you replied, unconvinced. “If you change your mind or want my help with anything, just let me know. I’ll be upstairs going over my reports.”

He nodded. “I will.”

—--------------------------------

You woke up on the couch in the penthouse with your reports and paperwork half in your lap, half scattered around the floor. The room was pitch dark except for the lights of New York City’s skyscrapers in the windows. You checked your phone, it read 11:57pm.

You weren’t supposed to sleep in Stark Tower but it happened a few times and no one ever really commented on it. You spent the entire day reading and filing reports, eating both lunch and dinner in the tower. Sometimes you had so much work or the work was so boring that you just dozed off in the middle of it. With your phone’s flashlight, you collected all your papers and set them in a stack on the nearest table. Then you remembered Loki.

When you spoke, it was sometime in the morning, and now it was nearly midnight. You wondered how he was doing. By his description, it sounded a lot like he was an animal in heat. Obviously, animals could go into heat and be fine if they didn’t find a mate, but Loki’s situation was obviously different and he was getting worse by the day. If he didn’t find a solution soon, how aggressive would he get? You felt certain that he only told you he would figure it out himself out of pride, or maybe embarrassment. It was definitely a strange circumstance, but if you were in his place you probably wouldn’t act much different.

As you thought about him and his predicament more, you felt your body grow warm. You couldn’t get him out of your head – his aggression, his vulnerability; then your mind went to how gentle he was, the soft caress of his skin against your face. The thought of his shirtless, blue form plagued your mind, the lean muscles of his abs and biceps. The red eyes that scared you yet lured you in… His cold breaths against your skin.

Ugh, now you were sexually frustrated. How did this happen, wanting Loki?

You got up from the couch to grab a drink of water. As you ran the water into the glass, a loud crash sounded below you, followed by a man’s scream.

You jumped, nearly dropping your glass on the counter. Some of the water splashed the front of your shirt.

“What the hell was that?” you asked, though you were fairly certain you knew.

You went downstairs to the room you suspected the commotion came from. 

“Loki?” you shouted as you pounded on the door. “Are you okay in there?”

The door flew open yet Loki was on the other end of the room, nowhere near it. It must have been his magic that opened it. The god’s back was to you and he breathed heavily, standing over his bookshelf and nightstand, both of which were toppled over. Books, papers, pens, a cup of water, and various knick knacks were all over the floor in an enormous mess.

“What happened?” you asked, taking in the scene before you.

“I lost control…” The god said. “I saw red and knocked the bookshelf over in my rage.”

“You’re getting worse, Loki. This isn’t good.”

“I was reading the rest of the books I borrowed from Asgard for an answer or even a hint as to how to conquer this. Nothing. Nothing! These books are all useless to me.” He kicked one of them and it slid across the wood floor until it hit the wall.

“Loki, it’s gonna be okay. Just take a deep breath,” you told him.

He straightened his back and did as you said. One deep breath in, one deep breath out. Afterward, he finally turned to face you.

“Better?” you asked.

“Hardly, but I did need that.”

“Like I said earlier, we can do it. If this is gonna make you go insane, then we can have sex if that’s what’s going to get you to calm down.”

“No!” He interjected. He looked like he was going to yell again but took a deep, shaky breath. “I said it before, I could injure you.”

“You’re one of the most disciplined people I know, I’m pretty sure you can get a handle on it. And remember, I have self-defense training. Wouldn’t you rather try than just lose your mind?”

“Urgh!” Loki groaned, holding his head in his hands. Was he… in pain? “I said it already! No. I do not trust myself in this state.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose between your fingers. “Fine, Loki. I’ll leave you alone. Anyway, it’s past midnight right now and I’m not gonna go home at this point. I’m just gonna sleep in one of the guest bedrooms. If you change your mind and you need… sex, you know where to find me.”

He only grunted in response.

“Um, okay. Goodnight, then.”

As you exited Loki’s room, you closed the door behind you. His behavior was getting on your last nerve but you also felt relieved to get away because you were fairly certain your face was beet red again. You took one of the guest bedrooms on the same floor, just up the hall and closer to the elevator. You stripped yourself of everything except your shirt and underwear and settled into bed. Before you drifted off to sleep, your thoughts were invaded again by Loki. If he was going to literally die of sexual frustration, at least nobody could say that you didn’t try to save him. It was so odd seeing him like that, so vulnerable and irrational – it was the antithesis of his whole being; the god who commanded strength, logic, and control within himself.

Despite the incident that just occurred, you were able to find sleep rather quickly.

[g-kat423]

Rant under the cut

That whole Cassie Reffel author drama just goes to show that some people don’t know how to separate reality from fiction and then it gives other writers who touch on dark topics a bad name.

For those who don’t know, Cassie Reffel is a self-published author who writes dark romance. She recently got some heat for using real life killer Wade Wilson (not Deadpool) who was recently sentenced to death for the brutal murders of two women as a way to promote one of her books. Her video was so tactless with 0 respect for the victims, showing a photo of Wilson with a caption along the lines of “if you like him you’ll love this” followed by a picture and description of her book. Don’t have the exact quote since she’s deleted the original, but I’m sure screenshots are floating around. Instead of apologizing, she doubled down, turned off all comments where she was able, and made a bunch of unhinged TikToks in a row absolving herself of all wrongdoing.

If you’re going to write about serial killers maybe don’t do so in a way that glorifies a real murderer?? It’s bad enough Wade Wilson already has fangirls making thirst traps of him and trying to contact him in prison. Absolutely disgusting. No one would even know who she was if not for this controversy. Her self-published books read like a teenager trying to be edgy on Wattpad, complete with mistakes like “strole” instead of “stroll” and one of her characters being a “collage” student. An actual publisher wouldn’t touch her middle school writing with a 40 foot “poll.” That and with the way she can’t take any criticism shows she’s not cutout to be an actual author at all.

My favorite thing though? Her little blurb on her Amazon author profile starts with “welcome to the darkness of my mind” literally not too far off from “welcome to my twisted mind” which I’m sure she probably wanted to use, but couldn’t because it’s been meme’d to shit. 2012 tumblr ass behavior.

This could go into a longer discussion about how true crime and booktok have further contributed to this ongoing brainrot of not honoring victims while glorifying murderers, but I’m already fuming lol.

I once got into it with someone on TikTok because they said I was glorifying murder by posting about Lady Dimitrescu, a fictional villain. I told them to save that energy for the true crime girlies selling serial killer merch on Etsy. Lady Dimitrescu isn’t real, no actual living person has been harmed by her actions. Enjoying an interesting villain from a fictional world is in no way and never has been on par with people being fans of actual murderers. I don’t condone Alcina’s actions, yes, even when I write a fic that involves those in character actions. These pathetic serial killer simps make excuses for actual murders that have happened because ~their poor little baby was misunderstood~ barf. Even being a fictional villain fan, I hate the woobification of said fictional villains and then these bitches are out here doing it with real people 💀 get fucked.

[rainbowcrowley]

for the good omens ask game— a lot since you said you’re traveling! 1, 3, 9, 11, 16, 19, 23, 24!

oh, what an honour to get an ask from op! :D thanks! strap yourselves in this is gonna be a looong one!

1. when did you first watch/discover good omens, and how did you find out about it?

i actually first heard about it after the first or second trailer for s1 dropped! idk how and when exactly that was (it's been a while) but i remember thinking 'oh i gotta watch this, it looks funny and has david tennant in it'. guess what. i didn't watch it until s2 came out and the entire internet was screaming about it. so i finally caved, asked for my friends amazon account (bc she had a prime account) and gave it a shot – the rest is history.

3. have you created any fanart or fanfiction, or really any content for the fandom?

i have created some gifs! you can find them here

9. have you seen any other work by david tennant and/or michael sheen?

oh yeah LOADS. i've been a fan of DT since i first watched doctor who back in 2011? or 2012? and i've seen the twilight saga films lots of times (aro was always a fave).

now, After-GO, i've seen/listened to a lot of davids stuff (like idk, 50 or 60%? which is a lot bc he has done soo much things) and i'm currently "working on" michaels filmography :) 'm watching masters of sex atm and i just bought tickets for the cinema run of Nye, since i wasn't able to see it in person when i was in london 2 weeks ago, sadly.

11. what is (if you read) your favourite type of human au for good omens? (ex. coffee shop au, surgeons au, plant store au

i adored almost every human au i've read so far!! but the two i'm obsessed with are that one actors au everyone and their mother knows and read (Slow Show on ao3, don't have a link rn sorryy) and the formula 1 au (idk how that happened, i don't even watch f1, it's just so good) i'm currently reading.

16. do you know anyone irl who has also watched good omens?

UHM YEAH but that's because i made them watch it lmao. a few of my close friends, that is. but besides them... nope.

19. have you ever read the crowley therapy fic (the most-read fic in the fandom)?

yep! i took me a while bc it was... A Lot but i finished it a few weeks ago. let's say it fucking destroyed me yup yup ✌🏻

23. what's a good omens headcanon that you considered canon?

idk if this is considered a headcanon but... they kissed in 1941. 100%.

24. what's a theory for season 3 that you NEED to be included?

hmm i'm not sure. like, i really like all those theories going around, but i'm traumatised by bbc sherlock so i'm trying not to get my hopes up lmao. again idk if that's considered a headcanon or theory, but i think we're likely gonna see (parts of) crowleys fall and i think it will also play a part in the plot. also: book of life shenanigans. and bamf aziraphale dismantling heaven (and hell). OH and a part 3 of 1941. (maybe a kiss...? 👉🏻👈🏻). yeah.

ask game for people in the good omens fandom!

[soradragon]

WATCH ME WORD DUMP

2012:

• trans fem Leo <3 (along with demi-girl Mikey and genderfluid Casey. he literally was like “ Y’know being a girl was pretty cool, I wouldn’t want to be one all the time tho)

• since everyone knows Raphs fear of cockroaches and other bugs they do their best to keep the lair clean and trap bugs

• Mikey is terrified of the dark so Donnie made him a bunch of nightlights for the lair

• Leo is constantly is patching up her younger brothers, when they were younger she’d break into stores to get Mikey Hello Kitty band-aids because they were her favorite

• Casey and Donnie have sensory issues so everyone always makes sure that there is sensory safe food in the lair

• Mikey suffers from imposter syndrome so their siblings always tell her that whatever she’s upset about is okay! And that Mikey is doing okay

• after a especially stressful mission they all have a sleepover in the main room

• April tends to accidentally manipulate people (I did this, I was just acted how my mom did and it was manipulation??? I never found out until recently) so everyone reminds her how to say things better, they do the same with Raph and his anger

• whenever Leo has gender envy April puts makeup on Leo to help her feel better, and it does work to some extent

• Mikey can’t handle smelling certain things (strong chemicals, perfumes, or other things) so everyone makes sure to keep that stuff away from the lair, or keeping the time the smell is around to a minimum

• Raph doesn’t like the feeling of certain fabrics so everyone makes sure to supply him with the ones he does like

• Mikey accidentally calls Leo mom sometimes, especially when under a lot of stress like a long battle. Leo doesn’t hate it but a part of her is uncertain of the title

• Raph and Donnie sometimes just go out roof jumping together, in this time Leo and Mikey usually draw or watch movies together

• Mikey has severe separation anxiety so one of her siblings always stay with her

• Donnie was non verbal when he was younger so everyone learned sign language, though the only one who remembers is Mikey

• Raph is dyslexic asf, so when he’s really struggling someone reads to him. When he was a tot Donnie would read his books to him

2018:

• Trans masc, panromantic Leo (Leo is absolutely panromantic, like how could he starve the world of himself? also demi-girl Raph, I literally love this hc)

• When the tots were younger they called Raph mom, like Leo she didn’t know how to feel about it

• Leo is a insomniac and when he does get sleep it’s usually nightmares so he lays with one of his siblings to help keep him calm

• If Mikey knows Leo’s been up all night he’ll try and make Leo’s favorite breakfasts

• Since Donnie has major sensory issues, Leo always makes sure that his beloved twin has his flavorless juice

• April tends to sleep at the lair overnight, especially after the whole invasion

• Raph always mothers her siblings, her older sister included. they have a hard time not worrying about everyone

• Mikey has minor separation issues so he’s always perched on his older sisters shell or arm

• April doesn’t like really loud noises (slamming, gunshots, alarms) so everyone is careful about it

• there is a designated “ swear day “ where everyone (including Mikey) can swear, Mikey or Leo usually scream ‘ fuck ‘ on the top of their lungs

• Donnie made a system to mine rich peoples accounts, every week taking out about 500 thousand (he’s gotta pay for the uranium SOMEHOW)

• Leo has a lot of scars from portaling somewhere dangerous on his own (like the jungle)

• both Leo and Donnie have a scar on their wrist from when they were younger, they were exploring and Leo tripped. Donnie feeling really bad also cut open his wrist. so they both came home crying with a bleeding wrist

• Mikey is so in touch with other’s emotions he feels physical pain whenever some people feel REALLY strongly about things

• Leo had really bad episodes after the invasion, he would basically enter a panicked state and attack others. it was hard when it first happened because he and Mikey were alone together. Mikey has a big scar on his shoulder that causes guilt to wrack Leo any time he sees it

• Donnie and Raph are usually the only ones who can pull Leo from a episode. Mikey can it’s just not easy like when Raph or Donnie do it

• Leo usually goes to Donnie after a nightmare, his twin knowing exactly what he needs to calm down

• Raph loves knitting, she makes vests for stray animals or homeless people. Leaving them as a anonymous donation to centers

• Raph also loves caring for plants, they accidentally bought one with a short lifespan so she BAWLED when it died (felt that, I mourned my first plant for days after it died)

LOVE THE SENSORY STUFF! SO RELATABLE!!

Poor leo having nightmares and insomnia, I’ve heard that there’s big hints towards it in the series (I haven’t completes it yet)

Awwwww raphie crying about (may I use he? I myself feel more comfortable using he/him for all the turtles, not to disrespect you or your hcs or anything) his plants!! Adorablleeeeeee

DONNIE YOU SWEETHEART FOR MAKING MIKEY NIGHT LIGHTS

Hello kitty bandaids awwwwww🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

I agree with April and the accidental manipulation behavior it feel so in character for her

SLEEPOVERS

I don’t like loud noises either

Poor leo having so many scars from portalling

*cackles* DESIGNATED SWEAR DAY I LOVE THAT

[voulezloux]

Hello hello I am here to bother you <3

What’s your comfort movie or tv series?

And what’s a quote from a book that stuck with you?

Hope you have a great day 🫶

this is gonna expose me so hard oh my GOD

my comfort tv shows have been niche one off shows that were on netflix for the longest time before being taken off and i’ve been unable to find them since 😭😭 shows like cheapest weddings that’s from australia, frisky business about a sex toy company called lovehoney from the uk, shit like that. if they were vhs tapes, i’d wear them down so bad that’s how much i watched these shows. my comfort movie is the recording of shrek the musical 😭 it’s literally one of my favorite musicals to ever be made unironically. i have a tattoo for it and i even referenced it in my big bang fic. it was on netflix for the longest time before i was taken off in the past couple years, and i legit had a bit of a panic attack before i found out i could buy it for streaming on amazon prime. i do plan to eventually get a physical copy of the musical just in case!

i could not for the life of me remember literally any quote from any book i’ve read (it’s more of the impact of the overarching story than a quote itself for me) and it’s been so long since i’ve been able to sit down and read a book (i’m very ashamed of this too) so instead i’ll recommend books ive read in the past that i loved growing up

it’s kind of a funny story - ned vizzini

the giver - lois lowry

copper sun - sharon m. draper

endangered - eliot schrefer

flowers for algernon - daniel keyes

number the stars - lois lowry

the outsiders - s. e. hinton

paper towns - john green

the giver is honestly my all time favorite book and i fucking despise the movie adaptation of it (sorry meryl streep) i once annotated and lent my copy of it to my high school boyfriend who then broke up with me a month later and never gave it back so get fucked [redacted]

a lot of these books i read as apart of english courses throughout school, save for it’s kind of a funny story and paper towns. there’s something that john green said in a vlogbrothers video about paper towns that i cannot for the life of me find. i found a scathing review from 2012 about it’s kind of a funny story where they put a 2012 mindset on a book published in 2006. im not say that it makes up for what they said was bad about the book, but it lends itself to why there were ignorant things written in the book. ned vizzini also wrote be more chill, which is also a musical apparently, and sadly took his own life at the end of 2013. it’s kind of a funny story is written based on his stints in psychiatric wards and it hits harder considering the circumstances around his death

copper sun i read in 8th grade and it’s a very good read. i read it so fast that i finished it before i was supposed to (nerd) and my english teacher had us do an assignment where we predicted the end of the book. i asked him what do i do since i finished the book and he told me to act like i didn’t finish the book and pretend to predict the ending. i obviously did not do that and instead gave the ending away and drew a crude stick figure depicting it

flowers for algernon fucking hurts. it’s both a book that makes you feel great and then it takes it away from you because you were feeling too great. i still recommend it bc while it hurts, the story itself is still wonderful. the outsiders is a pretty standard read for middle school kids and still a great book. we read it in 7th grade and watched the movie during the last week of school. number the stars is about the holocaust and two friends with one being jewish living in a nazi occupied town. there’s one scene that has stuck with me for years since i’ve read the book where someone is killed by firing squad by nazi soldiers (i won’t spoil who) and i can’t remember if it happened on screen in the book or im confusing it with the death by firing squad scene in the film life is beautiful (which is also about the holocaust and made my entire 8th grade english class cry) which happens off screen. endangered is about a teen girl trying to save a group for bonobos during a country’s civil war. its apart of a four part series by this author called the ap quartet

sorry to ramble but thank u for asking 🥺

[outeremissary]

9 People You'd Like to Get to Know Better

Tagged by @turbulentpumpkin43. Thanks for thinking of me! I know I haven't been around much (for reasons we don't need to get into), but truly nothing summons me faster than the email notification about a tag game where I know I'm going to have to say something horribly embarrassing about myself.

Three Ships: I mean, if we're counting stuff with OCs then obviously anyone following my knows Balthazar and Tristian (and the wonderful polycule with Vio) is my number one. Aside from that, the latest volume of Witch Hat has fully converted me into an Agott/Coco true believer. I actually did like the Coco/Tarteh vibe but Agott's special brand of slowly changing rival just has me by the throat. Aside from that? Ummm. Elliot and Leo from Pandora Hearts? Does that count? I did my full reread of Pandora Hearts while afk in September and those two have had me since like 2012 or 2013 or whenever they were introduced in the English release. But now that I'm older and more mature I can better appreciate what the messy later arcs had to give, and that's the beauty of a relationship between equals corrupted by a growing imbalance no one has the strength to acknowledge and devotion so deep it tears both of their lives apart. That's awesome. 11/10, everyone read Pandora Hearts and I'm not even joking

First Ever Ship: Gamers, back in early 2012 when I was in middle school and could only see images on the computer at school because searching for anything visual online was mega bad for rural internet, a friend of mine used a science classroom computer to discover you could find non-canon images of The Legend of Zelda if you searched terms like "Link blue" and scrolled down a couple rows. I distinctly remember this as the first ever time I really understood the concept of "fan art," and more importantly as my entry into fandom as we all began to realize many of these came from the same site: a place called "DeviantArt." Some of these contained such salacious and unthinkable things as two boys holding hands and blushing, and also both of those boys were Link. I was so captivated by these mysterious images that I followed them to their Four Swords Adventures manga RP fandom source, where I am not proud to say the first "ship" I adopted as such was Vio (Violet Link for people who spent their time doing better things at thirteen) and Shadow (Shadow Link, of course). That's right, everyone! It was edgy Link selfcest yaoi between a traitor and an angsty villain all the way down!!! And you know what? When I write that I don't think my taste has changed. Except the selfcest. Mostly.

The other, more respectable first ship I remember not long after that was Ulquihime. What can I say, there's just something about the Stockholm syndrome of it all.

Last Song: No title - REOL. Narrowly missed this being edgy early Vocaloid. I've been revisiting old favorites recently.

Last Movie: I'm pretty sure it was Surf's Up. For whatever reason my friend decided we should rewatch it when I visited him a few weeks ago. Holds up better than it should, but I've rewatched it twice in little over a year and truly that is my Surf's Up limit. That trip was also when my friend forced me to watch Barbie and the D&D movie. Look at me catching up on relevant pop culture only for fucking Surf's Up to be what made this list.

Currently Reading: I'm pretty sure this came up last time, but because I haven't gotten started on a better book since then I'm unfortunately still periodically chipping at The Thousand Deaths of Ardor Benn. This book fucking sucks. Don't read it. If we could manga and stories that are actually good I recently did a Witch Hat Atelier reread after getting volume 11!!! That volume is. So painfully personal.

Currently Watching: Cyberpunk: Edgerunners and Jujutsu Kaisen season 2. JJK is with my friend for weekly hangout, but Edgerunners is a solo endeavor because it was bumming him out way too much. Good show though. Also JJK was way more of a bummer than expected in ways that caught me off guard??? I'm not getting over what happened to that girl, I really got fucking got by that scene. Jesus

Currently Consuming: Nothing. Just finished dinner, where I had a chicken sandwich and fries. I need groceries. It's dire.

Currently Craving: doing something creative, but that would require moving the giant zine pile on my chair........ this is how I'm procrastinating

I'm sorry, but I'm actually not tagging anyone on this tonight! I haven't been on enough lately to know who has or hasn't done it, and frankly I'm not ready to be back on Tumblr enough to map that out. If you're seeing this and want to do it, please go ahead and do it. Tag me like I tagged you, we are collaborators in this and I want to see what you say.

[nikki-rook]

I just discovered that my $1700 camera lens is broken and I am NOT the one who did it... more rant below

I want to preface this by saying I am very VERY careful with my shit. I never break my phones, I've had a DSLR camera since 2012 and bought a new one just last year and I am always careful and have never dropped or bumped or broken my camera equipment. Last year I decided to finally spend some money on a new camera and a nicer lens (because better glass is where it's at, so I've read). I used this lens on my trip to Europe back in March, and really haven't touched my camera since. (I wish I would - story for another time I suppose).

I've just picked it up to go take an on the whim photo of a road and some trees because fall is pretty and I'm standing on the street corner and my lens WILL NOT WORK. It no longer zooms when I move the ring. I look around at it, and I can tell based on the white marks around the edge of my lens protector filter (thank god for that) that this lens seems to have been dropped.

Read that first paragraph again. I DON'T DROP MY SHIT. I haven't touched this thing since March but once to take some photos of my cousins art. I would have a clear and precise memory of dropping this expensive and still kinda new to me lens.

So either I have literally lost my memory and do not remember doing something like this to my lens. My husband is lying to me when he says he didn't drop it when he randomly decided to use it this summer on a tripod. Or his brother is lying to me, and he used it at some point and dropped it. Based on the last photos on the camera, vote goes towards my husband, or vote goes towards me and having absolutely lost my fucking mind that I can't remember this happening to me.

If the zoom just didn't work I would think it got fucked in my bag on my trip home from Europe. I would think it fell off the shelf it sits on onto the carpeted floor of my office. Its those damn white little marks and the inability to remove the lens filter from it that make me believe it was dropped and on CONCRETE. (I have concrete in my backyard around my pool where my husband was taking photos).

I am just LIVID. this has ruined an otherwise lovely day that included beautiful weather, lunch outside, buying books, and a lovely coffee. I was going to go off and take a nice photo, something which I haven't really done in years outside travel, and it was going to be nice.

And now I'm looking at Canon's repair website quoting me $539 to repair it. And my husband just says "you can take it out of savings" thats NOT THE POINT. Thats $539 on christmas presents, on travel costs because we have to go see your family for christmas, thats new clothes, thats a new winter coat that I want so badly, thats a new bookshelf to fit all these fucking books we keep buying, thats a renovated bathroom, thats the feeling of financial security and having a backup because we spend too much money as it is. THAT IS $539 I HAD NO INTENTION OF EVER SPENDING TO REPAIR MY CAMERA I NEVER DROP.

so I am livid and pissed and on the verge of tears and I don't know what to do. And I truly don't know where to put my anger because it's either on myself (but how the fuck could it be because I DONT DROP MY SHIT) or on someone who has decided to not tell me the truth, or worse, used my expensive shit and doesn't even remember fucking it up.

If you read this far, bravo. I feel like I'm going to cry and throw up. I had hopes maybe it wouldn't be that expensive to repair. but of course it isn't cheap. I would honestly have better luck just buying a new different lens to use instead of repairing this. I am gutted.

[herserenegrace]

How This Started

I'm gonna be blunt: This whole "journey of new faith" has been weird as shit for me for a couple reasons. One, I'm not the kind of person with any interest in worshiping any kind of divinity. Not my thing, don't have any plans to start doing it. Two, I stumbled into all of this pretty much by accident. Three, the whole thing started in fucking Minecraft of all things. I'll start there.

(Having now written the rest of this and realized how long it is, I'm gonna slap a "read more" here so I don't have to scroll past this whole thing down the line if/when this blog has more posts to dig through.)

I've been playing Minecraft since somewhere around 2012 or 2013. Friend of mine got me into it by letting me play it on their computer, I got hooked, and been playing ever since, with varying degrees of consistency. I've gravitated mostly towards farming and doing some basic redstone, in large part because caving and fighting mobs sets off my anxiety all to hell. The main side effect of this is that I very much prefer playing in SMP, where I can let other people do the parts I find stressful while I focus on keeping everyone stocked on things like food and wood. I've also grown to enjoy fishing in Minecraft, one part because it's incredibly chill, two parts because it's one of the easier ways to stock up on Mending, and it doesn't require tracking down a village.

Sometime last year or so, I started up a Minecraft world with a few friends. We had a great time with it, and I took to fishing as I often do to stock up on enchanted books, saddles, and enchanted bows to pass around. At some point later in the year, after we'd gotten well established and fully kitted out, I was consistently fishing to try getting Unbreaking III and Mending for whenever we finally decided to go to the End and acquire some elytra. I had a long string of bad luck where I was getting everything except what I was looking for, and decided to try something off the wall.

I had a design for a little altar-type thing for a while, made out of a few stairs and some slabs. Nothing particularly fancy, but I happen to like the look of it. I grabbed some supplies, found an empty patch of ground that no one had any plans for, and put together a small hut. I think the interior was only 7x7 or thereabouts. I put the altar at the back, put in some barrels for storage, and some stairs to represent benches inside. Above the altar I put an item frame and slapped a cod in there, rotated so that it was horizontal. With that done, I grabbed one of the raw cod I had sitting around, threw it onto the altar and basically put out a short prayer to whoever was listening.

My luck immediately turned around and I started getting exactly what I'd been struggling to find for literal days before that. I decided to take this as a minor sign that someone was listening, and started making a habit of occasionally throwing some spare fish on the altar as an offering. It kept working, admittedly to varying degrees. That was when I realized I should probably have a name to use for whatever divinity I had stumbled into, and decided on Her Serene Grace. Took me at least a week to remember "Serene Grace" is a Pokemon ability, but that's neither here nor there. The name's stuck.

Towards the end of last year, all of us got busy with the holidays and whatnot, and the server went inactive long enough for the host we were using to shut it down. We did manage to get the world backups, so nothing's lost, but earlier this year we decided to start up a new world and start from scratch. Right after it was set up, the person who took care of that set up popped into the world to make sure it was working, and we had a spawn on the edge of snowy plains and a taiga. I got the seed and did a biome finder to figure out which direction we should head in to settle down, because none of us wanted to be stuck in a snow biome. Managed to find a nice spot about 2000 blocks east, with a good size sunflower plains with a flower forest in the middle of it that's surrounded on all sides by a river. It wound up being a really nice spot to settle down.

Anyways, once we got into the world and got rolling, one of the first projects I set for myself was putting together a new shrine to Her Serene Grace. Our resident explorer/miner managed to get me some lava and we had spruce saplings on hand from near the world spawn, so I got a cobblestone generator going and decided to build using stone brick and spruce planks. Went with 7x7 for the interior again, set up at a nice spot along the coast, and put a little fishing spot nearby; just a canopy, a bed, and some chests for storing fishing loot.

While I was working on that, our explorer/miner found an abandoned mine shaft and did some light grinding to get me a full stack of string so I could make fishing rods until I got one with Mending. Made my first fishing rod, and got to fishing. I slacked on doing any offerings at that point, but made sure to leave the first tropical fish I caught in a barrel in the shrine as a bit of thanks for the ongoing help. Once my first fishing rod got close to breaking, I made the next one, and when that one wore down, the two got combined to make them last as long as possible. Rinse repeat until I managed to get a rod with Unbreaking III and Mending while on my fifth crafted fishing rod. Decided at that point to say that five is Her Serene Grace's sacred number, though three has wound up more significant so far.

Somewhere after that is when things start turning in a direction that made me consider making this blog. There was the whole archaeology update recently, and our explorer/miner decided they wanted to track down all of the varieties of pottery sherds, and specifically get at least four of each so they could make one of each pot where all four sides are the same design. Hell of a task to assign yourself, but it is what it is. Anyways, they were trying to get the sherds found in cold ocean ruins, and their luck was absolutely terrible. Kept getting junk over and over again. So I (half jokingly) recommended going to the shrine of Her Serene Grace, grabbing a fish from one of the barrels (because I had enough to throw some in there just in case), and throwing the fish on the altar as an offering. They went for it, and their luck turned around immediately. Got several sherds in a row, and very quickly had the full set from that biome.

Also among the stuff they got once their luck turned were several fishing rods with Mending. Eventually, somewhere around searching warm ocean ruins, their luck seemed to run out. They went back to the shrine, grabbed a fish and tossed it on the altar, but nothing seemed to change. So I (again, half jokingly) suggested taking one of those Mending rods, doing some quick fishing, and taking the first cod or salmon they caught to the shrine as a new offering. That immediately worked, and their luck picked back up.

Now, I'm a firm believer that when dealing with spiritual matters, one should always consider mundane possibilities first. It's a form of discernment, which is an incredibly important skill to have. I have trouble calling all of this coincidence, though. The consistency of it is kind of uncanny, and I get the feeling this is something to take at least somewhat seriously. I'm still not the type to offer worship, but I am open to a mutually beneficial working relationship, and that seems to be working out so far. I've been thinking on the details of the faith, and a lot is falling out of logical extrapolation (like the Three Virtues, which I'll probably post about soon). Some of it feels less like it's coming from me, though, which is admittedly a bit of a new experience for me. Still considering if that's actually anything solid, though.

So yeah. Teal deer is that I stumbled into an accidental fishing goddess while playing Minecraft, and the faith is working well enough that I'm willing to explore it further in a more serious manner. Though the weirdest part is that I have absolutely no interest in fishing outside of video games. It's honestly something that makes me kind of uneasy. But this is where I've wound up, and I'm gonna roll with it. Just how life goes, I guess.

[captainmaplesblog]

Life of Lea Volume 3 Chapter 6: A tale of sisters

Daisy sighs before letting them inside the house and bringing them all to the living room as she starts the coffee machine. 

“Spill what the cat spilled out from the bag?” Daisy asks.

“He called Mimi a sour puss and said that since I was wearing shorts under my dress instead of leggings I got that from Mimi” Lea replies in a blunt tone.

Daisy’s eyes then sharpened as she glared at Kitty.  

“Oh? So, the kitty has a death wish, does he?” Daisy says with a wide angry smile.

“H-Haha no, the child is lying” Kitty replies nervously.

“Lea, sweetheart please do continue,” Daisy says as her angry aura grows.

“Please don’t, Lea,” Kitty says as he is defenseless as he gives Lea begging eyes.

Lea looks Kitty straight into his eyes with a blank expression before turning to look at Daisy.

“Well in his own words, from the tell of your shorts, Miss. Sour Puss hasn’t told you why she’s helping with the plans against The Bad Apples, then he mentioned that she stole a book, then mentioned that Mimi was being risky so she can avenge her parents and that you knew the story” Lea explains without hesitation.

Sergean just sat there in silence and astonishment as Lea left him speechless. Daisy pours her cup of coffee before gently patting Lea’s head.

“Thank you for all the details, Lea, now I know how the cat got out of the bag,” Daisy says with a sharp smile as she holds her cup of fresh hot coffee over their waists. 

“Then again they did put a chaos spell on Fri Town as well” Lea implies.

Kitty and Sparrow are sweating bullets as they didn’t expect this short girl to throw them under the rug just like that.

Daisy then gets close to their faces, “Start talking” she says menacingly.

“We are sorry for causing chaos and being rude, don’t spill the coffee on us,” Sparrow says nervously.

Daisy looks at Kitty as she makes a keep-going hand gesture.

“I’m sorry for talking bad about your best friend and for being flirty with Lea,” Kitty says in a monochrome voice.

“And what was your reasoning for putting a chaos spell on the Fri Town folk?” Sergean asks.

“Well, we heard rumors that one of the town folks knew where the main headquarters of the Bad Apples’ location so we need to distract them while we narrow down the list” Kitty explains.

“You couldn’t just ask around?” Daisy asks.

“Nah causing a chaos distraction is better than socializing with the whole town” Sparrow replied as he tried to fists-bumped Kitty. 

“You…you caused a chaos spell to be antisocial!?” Daisy says in an annoyed tone. 

Lea wasn’t sure whether to laugh or relate to not wanting to socialize with a big crowd.

“You two are fucking trouble-making idiots !?” Daisy says as she punches them with a snow sleep spell.

“Anyways what do you know about the connection between her parents’ passing and the Bad Apples?” Sergean asks.

 “First of all, we don’t know who murdered her parents…but how the Bad Apples are involved? It’s a long story” Daisy says before taking a sip of her coffee.

As Daisy begins the story, it goes back to a cloudy day in 2012. It was 1 month after Fei and Perla’s murder. Mimi was staying at Nick and Daisy’s place again. Mimi was getting ready for her next therapy appointment. Daisy came into the room quietly as breakfast was ready.

“Morning, Mimi, breakfast is ready” Daisy exclaims. 

“Morning, Daisy, and I’ll be right there” Mimi replied.

Daisy then leaves the room and goes to the kitchen. Mimi then finishes her braid before making her way to the kitchen. Nick stretched his arms as he came into the kitchen before going to his chair to sit down. Then he turned to look at Mimi to notice that her eyes were puffy again. He looks at how she is dressed as he notices the butterfly earrings and necklace. 

“I see you have been reading the book I lent you, butterflies of Rebirth, is there a reason?” Nick asks curiously.

“Just hoping that they get justice” Mimi replied. 

“Fair…did Lady Bianca talk to you recently,” Daisy asks.

“Yeah she did, she said that Glendora painted portraits in the memory since we can’t have their funeral yet” Mimi replies.

“Sounds lovely, we should go see them” Daisy suggests.

“Yeah…we can do that; I do miss them a lot” Mimi implies.

“I’ll let them know during your therapy appointment” Nick suggests. 

“Sounds like a plan” Daisy replies happily. 

“So, who cooked this time?” Mimi asked. 

“I did this time” Nick replied as he perked up in his seat. 

“And you made my favorites…because?” Mimi asks.

“Thought a good meal call start your day, right” Nick replies.

“Well you did a good job, thank you for the food,” Mimi says with a soft smile.

“No problem, Mimi” Nick replied as he blushed slightly.

After they finished eating their breakfast, they then made their way to the Lay Family household. Glendora let them inside as she gave Mimi an ‘Oh so you are back here again’ kind of slight glare.

“So, where’s Max and Auntie Bianca?” Mimi asked tiredly.

“They went grocery shopping a while ago” Glendora replied sternly.

“Ah…alright then,” Mimi says curiously.

“Not like you would care” Glendora mutters as she went back to her breakfast.

Nick looks at her with a what did you say expression. 

As they sat in the living room awkwardly with the tension in the air.

“So, Glendora, I heard you made some new paintings, may we see them?” Daisy asks. 

“Oh yeah…they’re in my room…everyone can see them at our parents’ funeral” Glendora replies bluntly. 

“F-Fair enough,” Daisy says nervously.

Eventually, Max and Lady Bianca came back with the groceries. Nick and Mimi help them bring the groceries in and put them away. Max looks around curiously at the others as he notices the tension.

“I got pudding cups” Max exclaims.

Mimi, Glendora, Nick, and Daisy then all look at him.

“What flavor of pudding?” Nick asks.

“Chocolate, vanilla, peach, and mango flavors” Max replied.

They all got up to get a pudding cup. Lady Bianca gently ruffles his hair as a good job. After everyone finished their pudding cups, they got ready for therapy. Once everyone was ready for therapy. Once everyone was ready, they headed over to Doctor Marty’s office building. Lady Bianca went in first, then Glendora, Max, and then finally Mimi. After a while, the others had to be brought in while Mimi was excused from the room. 

“I wonder what’s going on…Daisy wondered as she waited with Nick.

They then heard loud yelling coming from the room that sounded like Glendora. Nick looks at Mimi like what are they being told in their expression. Mimi is then brought back into the room. Nick and Daisy looked at each other in confusion. When things got quiet, the therapy session was now done, Glendora, Mimi, Max, and Lady Bianca came out looking like they had cried. 

“U-Uh…what happened in there?” Nick asks worriedly.

“I…um…I’m staying away from my mental health…being in the house hurts too much” Mimi replied softly.

“In other words, she is abandoning us in our time of need,” Glendora said still angrily.

“No, she is not…she promised to come back” Max implies.

Glendora storms out as Lady Bianca pays for the therapy session.

“Will she be ok?” Daisy asks Dr. Marty.

“It will take time but eventually she will make her peace and be ok” Dr. Marty replies.

Lady Bianca goes after Glendora to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. Max goes to Dr. Marty to thank her before going to Mimi. 

“Come back as soon as you are ready ok?” Max asked as hugged Mimi.

“Of course, I’ll come running home, I promise” Mimi replied as her eyes started to drip again.

Afterward, they went back to the Lay Household to have lunch. Glendora ate in her room alone. They ate in the hallway in front of her door so she wouldn’t truly be alone. Mimi gently leaned against Nick quietly as she sniffled. Nick gently hugs her to reassure her. Later on, Mimi goes back to Nick and Daisy’s house after getting clean clothes. It felt quieter and colder in the Ice Region after what happened today. Daisy heard noises coming from Mimi’s room. She gets up and grabs her ice knife from her bedside before heading to Mimi’s room to see Mimi, not in the room, and the window wide open. Daisy quickly casts a step-tracking spell as she climbs out the window and follows the glowing purple steps in the snow. The footsteps then lead to a brown portal. 

   “Oh no…” Daisy muttered as she started to figure out where Mimi was headed. 

She then arrives on the other side of the portal to appear in the Nature Region.

“This is near the hospital…Mimi…what are you thinking?” Daisy wondered as she followed the glowing steps into the hospital. She then makes her way up the stairs. She eventually makes her way up the stairs. She eventually makes her way up to a familiar hallway that was now cut off by yellow crime tape.

“Wait this is where…? Mimi, what are you looking for?” Daisy wondered as she peeks into the room to see Mimi looking around the crime scene. Daisy slowly sneaks up on Mimi quietly. 

“What are you doing here?” Daisy asks her only to get nearly kicked.

“D-Daisy? Why did you? Why are you here?” Mimi asks as she tries to act as normal as possible. 

Daisy flicks her forehead, “Bitch I should be asking you that” she replies.

“Ow…” Mimi says as she rubs her forehead.

“Explain. NOW.” Daisy says as she uses her assertive tone.

“I-I…I WANT ANSWERS…I…need to know…I want peace for my parents and my siblings…and my family…is that so wrong?” Mimi replies as she starts to cry.

“…No it’s not wrong, who wouldn’t want to find out who did this to your parents…they were like family to Nick and me…but trespassing isn’t going to get this accomplished, let’s go talk to the police and we can drag my brother with us too have them here your voice” Daisy explains.

“Fine…I will be loud as fuck then,” Mimi says before leaving the room with Daisy having an ‘Oh lord that’s a first shock expression.

They then make their way back home so they would be rested when they woke up, Nick had breakfast made for them. Nick noticed Mimi and Daisy sludging in slowly into the kitchen. 

“Whoa, you two sure woke up late…what did you two do last night?” Nick asks.

“Girl talk to help Mimi sleep” Daisy replied.

“Yeah…still having a hard time sleeping,” Mimi says as she gets a cup of coffee.

“Uh…sure…? Enjoy your first cup of coffee ever…?” Nick replies.

Mimi nods as she adds milk and sugar before taking her cup.

“So, Nick we need to come with us to the police station to get updates on the case,” Daisy asks.

“For emotional support? Um sure I don’t see why not” Nick replied before taking a sip of his coffee.

Mimi and Daisy nod in agreement before eating their breakfast. Afterward, they got ready before making their way to the police station. Mimi did her best to keep a straight face as they got to the waiting room. Police Chief Clover then comes into the room. As he is about to say something, Daisy ends the story.

“That’s all? Cliffhanger” Kitty exclaims as he awoke up mid-story. 

“Shut up cat let her finish” Lea exclaims.

“As I was saying…once we talked to Police Chief Clover he said he couldn’t tell us much of the evidence but he did ask us about the items that Mimi’s parents owned only to find out their books and notes were missing, which is when we remembered they were labeled with a V and A” Daisy replies. 

“And then with a vendetta, Mimi stole a book from the main Bad Apple for who knows why” Kitty exclaims with a smug look.

[turbourbo]

Re: That One TUA S1 Draft That Wasn’t Filmed:

In case you didn’t know, there’s a script of a TUA S1 episode floating around here that must have made it pretty far on the chopping block.

Probably most important, the episode confirms that Reggie knew the world would end in April of 2019. He didn’t know how, he didn’t know the exact day, but he know something was up. Honestly, I thought Reg was bullshitting Klaus in the afterlife when he explained why he killed himself. So I was kinda surprised to learn this.

Most of the script takes place on October 1, 2012, on the brellies’ 23rd birthday. The script opens with two news anchors joking about the Mayan calendar ending in December. Reg and Pogo see this and Reg says something about how the Mayans were only a few years off.

We see Luther living at the academy and running solo missions for Reg. He encounters someone who resembles one of the original comic villains and accidentally ruins a birthday party and emotionally scars some children. It’s hinted at the end of the episode that he’s just left on the mission that will leave him permanently deformed. Also, he watches Allison’s movies and periodically calls her in California.

Diego’s living with Patch. They’re both at the police academy. Diego’s “Number Two” complex results in him getting kicked out and Patch breaking up with him. Diego gives Grace a bracelet he meant for Patch, and Grace gives him the cross-stitch of the domino mask we see in his apartment in 2019.

Also Diego is SUCH a marshmallow, he visits Grace every week and puts money in Klaus’s commissary. And it makes sense why Klaus only asked Diego for rides in S1.

Allison uses her powers constantly. For one day, she tries to NOT use them, and she’s just. So close to losing it. Constantly. Girl can’t wait for coffee, drive in traffic, etc. It’s actually sad how dependent she is on them.

Klaus is in prison. Doesn’t say what he did but it doesn’t surprise me at all. What’s interesting is that he seemed to have received some preferential treatment at first. While he’s transferred to a new block, the guard complains about Klaus getting put with the “white collars” because of his dad. He can’t get drugs and someone puts a hit on him.

Also, we see Klaus engaging in actual, effective self-defense. Like he accidentally kills an inmate. It’s wild. I’m trying to comprehend how he goes from That to jumping on people’s backs and flopping like a fish in seven years. I don’t think he’s forgotten his training. All I can think is that substance abuse has severely fucked him up. Not just loss of muscle mass, but maybe he’s screwed up the way his brain and body coordinate, so even if he knows what to do, he physically can’t. Idk, someone else explain why Klaus can’t fight.

Five is Old Man Five and working for the Commission. To mess with him, the Handler sends him to the brellies’ city in 2012 to see if Five will blow his cover. He does. He yells at Diego but Diego doesn’t recognize him.

BEN BEN BEN. This was probably the biggest change from the show. In S2, Klaus conjures Ben after Ben’s funeral. And Ben’s followed him ever since. HERE though, Ben appears while Klaus is in prison, because this is the first time since he died that Klaus has been sober enough to see him. And he’s actually PISSED that the brellies “let” him die. The episode also acknowledges that for whatever reason, when Klaus gets high again, the other ghosts go away but Ben stays.

Last Viktor, who was written as Vanya in this script. Viktor has recently published his book, and everyone’s furious about it, except Klaus. Viktor also has a girlfriend, who he catches cheating on him, forcing them to break up. So Viktor, unsure what else to do, visits Klaus in prison. They talk about Viktor’s book, and Klaus asks if he included the bit where Grace announced over breakfast that Diego just had his first wet dream. YES, that’s in there. Klaus is the only sibling who supports Viktor and asks for a copy to read in prison.

Oh, and Klaus is delighted to learn that Viktor (then Vanya) has/had a girlfriend. There’s this “yay, gay” kind of moment between them that we never saw in the show, where Klaus refers to himself and Viktor as fruits. Maybe this is why no one bats an eye about Viktor and Sissy in S2. He’s already out.

[hexhomos]

okay your post (from twt) about the 2010s and american propaganda has been rattling around in my empty noggin rent free what did you MEAN by that? i'm so intrigued like did I fully miss something?

Oh, i mean that it's fairly obvious that the collection of character traits riot used to conceptualize jayce and viktor as a duo of silly game characters upon release fits play-by-the-book red scare / cold war propaganda tropes. Even though Jayce was released later. Bear with me, here we go:

to the left we have THE DEFENDER OF TOMORROW (superman type, piltover aligned, Representing The Hope of the Nation, very blatantly introduced as the strong boastful charming american man with the big hammer) and to the right we have THAT ONE CREEPY GUY WITH THE RUSSIAN ACCENT AND THE DEATH LASER (zaun aligned, cartoonishly 'evil' inhuman antag, whose 'evil plan' involves the conversion and later sublimation of the masses into his ~alienating personal ideology~, oh hey look its literally just the scary communist russian boogeyman that has come to take over america story but we made him a robot that wants to make more robots this time or something.)

My bullshit meter is probably hyper-sensitive by this point because I've been deeply into cape comics and it is such... a prevalent old ass shorthand there lmfao. Legitimately too many to count. The consequences of it being So Old is that we get the dissemination of these archetypes into all sorts of shit; there's hundreds of books movies tv shows etc that utilize this kind of 'antagonist building' to quickly signify which guy you should mistrust bc he sounds 'vaguely immoral communist-russian' and which guy you should root for because 'HE FIGHTS FOR LIBERTY AND PROGRESS AND THE GOOD-NATURED AMERICAN DREAM,' and that's just like. c'mon man. (IIRC during jayce's initial release this dynamic was *already* seen as a concern/problem or in the very least Cringe and people spoke up to have it tweaked, and later during the massive lore overhaul when jayce's first new stories came out talking about viktor doing 'amoral' 'experiments' the same red flags popped up again)

For the sake of comparison: OG viktor can be summarized with "russian grad student goes insane after his work is stolen, locks himself in room, comes out of it a mechanical beast with warped ideals" while OG jayce is "good-hearted american piltovan boy is offered a deal with the devil (viktor)! He rejects it, but the villain steals his crystal! what he doesn't expect is for the boy to teach him a lesson! (everybody claps)" and that was it. They didn't have a big buildup or anything, viktor just showed up in full mecharegalia one day and said 'hey i need that crystal for my crazy experiments' and then jayce beat his ass.

Their settled lore rework has made them a lot more nuanced and palatable as full-fledged characters in my opinion, mainly that by making jayce into the star studded fuck-up and viktor into the guy you're at least inclined to feel sorry for (and by giving them an actual years-long connection) you drum up empathy and tend to think of them as people.

Arcane is... look opinions get really heated here because it's new, and people are allowed to be attached to previous versions of characters, but since i tend to look at it as a movie adaptation set into it's own universe (because it is) i'm mostly just going like heyyyy this looks cool i like this they're nice and touchy feely and doing intricate rituals :) ! yay !

But say you're a casual player in 2012 and you're Not Fucking Reading Bullshit Character Bios; all you know is that shitty knock-off captain america and shitty knock-off red skull are duking it out on the middle of league of legends and you think it's funny because hey, you know these guys! you know this story! 'haha. nice.' you say. tale as old as time. That was the intended vibe.

anyway, what matters is that the internet loves gay little communist bitches these days, and they're most definitely eroding jayce's pure-hearted american goals. life comes at you fast

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

to the younger people on this Webbed Site (affectionate)™️, please don’t feel bad blocking people or feel bad when you lose a follower on sites like tumblr/tiktok/insta etc.

as someone whose basically grown up on social media (i’ve been on it since the the dying days of myspace in 2007/2008 and the switch to facebook being the dominant social media site in 2009/2010); i know the feeling of hating yourself or beating yourself up when people delete you or unfollow you. for example when i was in my early days on tumblr from 2011 to 2014…. when i lost a follower, i would beat myself up and wonder why the hell someone would unfollow me. what was i doing wrong??? what was the last stick to make them unfollow me??? please don’t hate me and i’ve got to rebuild the 10+ followers i’ve just lost. how long will it take???

back on facebook in my final years of high school in 2012 and 2013, i was setting multiple statuses a day, all in an “experiment” to see if i could get 50 likes in a day over several statuses; since i could never get 20-50 likes on statuses at once, like all the so called “popular kids” at school did all the time. hell i remember one of the popular girls from the catholic school i went to posting bikini pics back then and getting literally like 400+ likes and i was SUPER bitter.

i also heavily beat myself up when people deleted me. i got angry, so i would stalk and stalk and stalk and stay up until 4 am wondering why the fuck people were purging me out their friends list like wildfire….. when like…. literally 90% of my statuses over my last two years of high school were me giving off Major Depression Vibes™️….. which i now realise in my late 20s that it wasn’t healthy posting a bunch of “im such a failure and everyone knows it” and other statuses like that, super frequently. by deleting me, people were preserving their mental health. and you know what??? good for them. because, after all, your newsfeed is not your therapist (or your diary), and nor are your friends.

and yes i know that i was Edgy Girl As Hell On Main™️ back then, and using that as my excuse to post those posts and to avoid therapy (although the main reason i’m not in therapy right now is obvs the cost and every therapist around in my area closing their books bc of the pandemic etc). bc hell, now in my late 20s, and over the last few years, i have actually started deleting some of these said statuses. and especially when i was feeling low. because i realised reading them back years later in facebook memories just made my anxiety/depression exponentially worse than it needed to be. actively culling your own Edgy Emo Tumblr Sad Girl Posts™️ from years ago makes you healthier as well.

but y’all. there has to come a time when you stop fretting about whose deleted/unfollowed you and why. and there also comes a time when you have purge your own friends/follow list anyway, when you realise that there’s some people you cannot stand to have in your newsfeed. one particular case in point, for me, is my old friend from public school in 2012 & 2013, let’s call her taya (not her real name). taya was (can't say is really when i barely ever talk to her now) the type of friend who constantly belittles your problems and makes her problems seem super more pressing than yours- basically she pits her suffering etc in competition with yours. she makes out that her mental health is far more important than yours and posted about it all the time. she straight up laughs at your shit and tells you yours doesn’t matter. 99% of her statuses at the time were about her being the “black sheep” of her family etc etc etc. hell, she even laugh reacted to a status that you intended to be important and urgent (it when i was in hospital in 2020 and maybe i shouldn’t’ve posted this. but still.) while anyone and everyone else who reacted to the status reacted with the sad react/the care react/heart react, or just liked it. anyway. you know this type of friend.

there comes a time when YOU can’t (and quite frankly shouldn’t) tolerate this anymore, no matter how close you are or close they/you think you are with them. i ended up deleting taya for a few years, a while ago now, because her statuses and shared posts were actively making my mental health worse. and it always seemed when i was feeling at my worst, she would post stupid shit on my timeline like “we all have that friend who acts like their (when it should be they’re) dead” or some other rude/snarky internet shit and be all like “haha get up you sack of shit 🙄😂” as the caption…. as if i wasn’t already telling myself that on the daily at the time. whereas 90% of her profile was all those stupid “only real people who REALLY CARE about mental health will share this status! be the BRAVE 10 who care!!!” or whatever the fuck else posts. and depressing shit about being a “lone wolf” and “being a strong scorpio woman who’ll never find love bc no one can handle my insanity and constant empathy for everyone” and “being a brutally honest bitch is tough when it doesn’t win you friends. but at least my true friends stick with me!” etc etc. just overall toxic friend stuff.

and y’know what??? when i deleted her, i guilted myself. good god i guilted myself. “why would i do something so mean by deleting taya when i’ve known her for so long???” and “it shows just how disloyal i am as a friend by deleting her” i asked and told myself on a loop until i literally THREW UP out of guilt for deleting her. but girl. sometimes a bitch needs to really protect her mental health from people like taya over here who thinks she’s the centre of the universe and EVERYONE must care about HER PROBLEMS AND TRAUMA ONLY 24/7/365 bc apparently they’re the most urgent things in the world bc “why can’t you understand my empath mind???”. like yes taya, i care, to a point. but i am NOT your licensed motherfucking therapist. for fucks sake. and no taya. you are NOT an empath when you can’t read a room for goddamn fucking shit and can’t understand why people are constantly tired and worn down around you.

and girl (back to myself), you are NOT being selfish or disloyal by deleting and/or blocking this energy sucking friend. and no, if you paint yourself/other people paint you as a “nice person”, blocking these types of people from your feeds etc isn’t you being mean to THEM. it’s YOU being actively nice to Y O U R S E L F, which is a hard and almost alien thing to learn when you always put everyone else’s needs and perceptions of you before yours. (and trust me, it’s something i’ve just realised RIGHT NOW while coming back to constantly re-edit this post lmao 😂).

like yes don’t get me wrong. i did listen to taya’s rants and stuff, as a friend does. but my god. the way she ALWAYS belittled my shit and laughed in my face (or it felt like laughing in my face on fb messenger) at the lowest points of my mental health was fucking awful. her depression posts made it even worse. but my fucking god. i could only take so much. i had to delete her. she did eventually find me and add me again after a couple of years. when this happened, i immediately got rid of her from my feed. i just clicked “don’t show me taya’s posts” and that stopped her constant stream of negative posts on my feed. however, it didn’t stop some of her dumbass comments like “hahaha as IF you’d get weight loss ads on your feed when YOU aren’t fat like ME!” on my posts; which i learnt to ignore or vaguely respond to before her comments got out of hand. like taya everyone gets weight loss ads apparently; bc fb ad filters don’t discriminate when you don’t tell them to.

tbh most of her insensitive behaviour shit towards me was from her instant labelling of me as the “funny friend” and the “doesn’t take shit from anyone friend”. which then meant to her that i could never be sad or never feel anything negative and could always take whatever bullshit people chucked at me….. and especially when someone says something hurtful etc bc it’s apparently all meant to slide off me like…. - i can’t think of a good metaphor- but you know what i mean. it also meant to her that i was NEVER being serious about anything EVER bc funny people don’t have the capacity to be serious, ever. apparently.

but anyway. there comes a point when you have to care about yourself more than keeping people on your friend/followers list out of obligation because you’ve known them for so long. if you can’t tolerate what they post or can’t have a civilised convo with them about what they post (mostly bc i never bothered with this girl bc i knew she’d NEVER listen to me bc haha funny friend can’t be sad or angry or argumentative!!!! say something funny. for thee is mine own personal fool)… just delete them. or if you feel like you can’t delete them, just take them out of your feed so that you can no longer see their triggering posts. same with sites like twitter with following.

and this goes for other toxic people in your life too. because my high school stalker/creeper tried to re-add me again a while ago now…… and i instantly blocked him; bc i’d seen from going through his profile that he hadn’t changed at all…. and that i knew he’d start harassing me to fuck him (he’s a massive incel type guy) etc like he always does. i knew after all my time in hospital and stuff over the last couple of years, that i have NO TIME AND ENERGY to deal with his manipulative bullshit anymore (and i never really did in the first place anyway tbh). so before he could even start a convo with me, i just straight up blocked him. i’m never letting him in again to hijack my mental health and my self-esteem.

and even though, yes when you get older, it’s still fun to try to sniff out the person who has deleted you all of a sudden (bc tbh here, i still do this for funsies)… in reality, you know deep down that you’ve lost connection with them. or let’s be real, you never liked them in the first place in school or wherever else you met them (could be work etc)…. that yeah. you were just waiting for them to delete/unfollow you anyway and you don’t care that they finally have.

and the weird social obligation where you feel like you have to keep this person on social media because you’ve known them for X amount of years is fucked up and dumb. because if amanda or victor is constantly belittling you or constantly posting upsetting shit and they do nothing about fixing their feed after you’ve told them that it bothers you (if you’ve done this), maybe it’s time to just straight up delete/block them anyway so you can hopefully no longer see or engage with the upsetting stuff that they keep posting. and i’m obvs deflecting the fact that i actually did engage with posts that made my mental health worse (hello 2011-2015 tumblr era black & white depression blogs) on here back in the day, but i no longer do that.

moreover, follower counts and friend counts mean fuck all. they’re arbitrary. and the fact that social media makes you feel like an asshole for deleting/unfollowing/blocking people from your feed/dash etc….. it’s ultimately important if their posts are fucking with your mental health and/or you can’t have decent convos with this person about anything because they make it wholly about themselves; or have labelled you as a certain friend role which means you can never X, when they can….. it’s better to dump them out with the trash where they belong by deleting/blocking them. these stupid as fuck numbers have nothing to fucking do with loyalty and other traits for irl friends. the idea of loyalty in a follower only matters when it becomes your career. because without “loyal fans/followers”, you don’t make a mark (or y’know you don’t get brand deals/sponsors etc).

and also overall, this post is a big fuck you for growing up on social media. it really does especially hurt people with high anxiety etc. it’s utterly exhausting and it’s exactly why i haven’t made the supposedly necessary 1000+ different social media accounts: from insta to tiktok to twitter to whatever the fuck the next one is going to be. i just have no energy to invest in having to spread myself thin over several SM accounts to see the following stats and the for you page on TT for example, feeding me videos that could inevitably make me feel worse. i actually actively have to cull the videos on my facebook watch feed, which i talk about every so often.

i did all this shit 10+ years ago, beating up myself over losing followers when i was only at like 500 or something and it also hurt when i was in my obsessive tumblr cleaning out phase, at just how many of my old followers, and sometimes mutuals, On This Here Hellsite (affectionate)™️ had deactivated over the years. it really shooketh me to my core, if the kids are still saying that. i don’t want to do that on other social media platforms, though.

and as i’ve stated in the past on here, it’s also exactly one of the reasons why i dropped out of the comms and media studies (triple major in marketing comms/PR/advertising) degree that i originally started undergrad uni with in 2015. i had no energy to expend to “professional” social media account follower counts- which we were being marked on as part of the course. i had no desire for engagement and the study of social media engagement in a professional space like i thought i did from using tumblr, at that point in time, for 4 years. but systematically and critically studying it seemed like a nightmare because why should i give a shit that people on my course aren’t engaging with my tweets and wordpress posts??? (like i know why but still).

BUT ANYWAY. this post went in so many different directions…. and i hope that if i have any younger followers, that they know that the younger millennials/older gen z (idek what the fuck i am) know the struggle of growing up online and that blocking/deleting etc people on the internet is good. and also that losing followers/friends etc is okay esp when you get older. unless of course you made this shit your career…. on this front, i have no idea how to help you on that tbh

[woulddieforgabriel]

Okay but concept: it's a week or so after the 15x19 and Sam and Dean are finally sick of this mini vacation they've been taking ever since they defeated God. Sam finds a case, and they pile into the impala for some good old-fashioned monster hunting.

But then Dean sees Cas walking down the sidewalk. He looks like a hot mess. He's covered head-to-toe in dirt and grime, to the point where his trench coat is barely tan anymore. His beard now puts his Purgatory beard to shame. Even the hair on his head seems to be getting longer — and definitely much messier.

Dean slams on the breaks. It's like 2012 all over again. He'd see Cas, he'd stop, and Cas would be gone. Though he does still seem to be there this time...

But then Sam points him out, and Dean realizes he's not crazy and that Cas really is here. They both hop out of the car — Dean doesn't even take the time to turn it off — and run back to see Cas.

Dean freezes. He has no idea what the fuck he's supposed to do in this situation. It's Cas! He's alive! He's a hot mess, but he's alive! And it's so good to see him again. It really is. But with Cas right in front of him, all he can think about is how they left things. He's gone out of his way not to think about what Cas said to him before he made that sacrifice. In his grief, he found it was just easier to forget. But now he has to face it and he has to try to make sense of it, and he doesn't even know where to begin.

Sam gives Cas a bear hug, bombarding him with questions one after another and not even giving Cas the chance to respond. Dean would tell him off if he thought he could.

And then Cas just ??? collapses??? in Sam's arms, and now neither of the Winchesters really know what to do (though they can both agree this takes priority over the case they were about to head off on).

Cas comes to that night, hours after Sam and Dean dragged him into the bunker. They'd laid him down in a spare bed, and though they'd taken turns watching him for the first hour or two, they'd basically decided staring at him wasn't going to wake him up any faster and decided to go about their lives.

They're in the war room when Castiel walks out, holding onto the wall for balance with every step. They jump to their feet to give him a hand — Sam pulls out a chair and Dean helps him over to it — and they get to talking.

Cas has no idea how he came back, but he did; he was dropped right in the middle of Rossville, Kansas, with nothing but the clothes on his back. He didn't have a phone; he didn't have any money; he had nothing.

And, worst of all, he was human. This entire time he was struggling to find his way home, he was dealing with his newfound humanity as well — mainly, the hunger and the thirst that he couldn't afford to satiate. Finding public drinking fountains became almost as important as finding the bunker over the last few days.

But now he's home. Cas came home. That's all Dean can think about — literally. It doesn't even occur to him to get him something to eat and drink until Sam gets up to do it. He's just so busy thinking about the fact that Cas came home.

And now that they're alone, Dean expects Cas to address the elephant in the room: their last conversation. "I love you," he'd said. What the fuck does that mean?

Except he just... doesn't?

They make small talk instead, and every second of it kills him. Sure, Cas has good reason to ask about what happened with Chuck and whether Billie truly was taken care of and where Jack is, but it doesn't make it any easier for Dean, who really only has one thing on his mind now.

He thinks maybe after Cas eats, he'll be more apt to talk about it.

He's wrong.

But that's okay. Sam's here; it would be awkward anyway. He'll carve out some alone time with Cas that evening, see if it comes up then.

It doesn't.

He's probably tired. Sure, he took an hour-long nap before he even got back to the bunker, but he's also newly-human and newly-alive, and walking for days on end probably didn't help.

Maybe in the morning? Sam is out for a jog when Dean wakes up, and Cas is nowhere to be seen. Dean makes a delicious bacon breakfast for when Cas gets back (and he slips Miracle a piece while no one's around to tell him off for it). Cas has great timing; he comes out right as Dean is finishing up the last few pieces. Maybe a bacon breakfast will put him in the mood to talk.

... Or not.

And this goes on for days. Dean does whatever he can to get Cas alone, trying to get him to initiate that conversation — sometimes half-initiating it himself — and Cas never takes the bait. And, finally, Dean can't take it anymore. He can't keep pretending everything's normal with this eating him up inside. So, out of the blue one afternoon while Cas is reading and Dean is playing tug-of-war with Miracle, he asks.

"What did you mean, you love me?"

And Cas looks up from his book, eyes squinted and head tilted just a little bit to the side in that cute little way he does it, and he says, "I meant just that."

Which, obviously, does not clear anything up. "So you love me."

"Yes."

"Love me how?"

And Cas just stares at him because what the fuck does that mean? And now they're both hopelessly confused and after a minute of terse silence, Cas finally says, "I just do?" and it's more of a question than an answer and it sure as hell doesn't help with Dean's days-long crisis.

And Dean's like, "But what do you mean?" which is quite literally the exact same question he asked the first time and definitely doesn't clean anything up, and the look on the former angel's face says that perfectly well. "You mean you love me as...?" A friend? A brother? A lover? God, why does the English language have so many different definitions of love?

Cas just tilts his head a little more. "I don't think I understand the question."

And Dean can't tell if he's feeling exasperated or if he's feeling desperate what but finally he's just like, "Cas, was that just a heartfelt goodbye or was that a love confession?" and it's crystal clear on Cas's face that he finally understand.

But he still doesn't answer it. "It doesn't matter. I thought I was never going to see you again. I was wrong. Can we focus on that instead?"

And the fact that he didn't answer it almost makes it sound like it was a love confession, but the answer he did give almost makes it sound like it was just a heartfelt goodbye, and now Dean feels like his head is going to explode and what the fuck, Cas, just answer him!

And he might sound a little more upset than he'd anticipated when he says, "No, Cas, we can't!" so he quickly adds a softer, "I just... I need to know," because he does and how does Cas not realize that?

So, after a long pause, Cas says, "It was more than a goodbye, but you don't owe me anything. I truly meant it when I told you that happiness isn't in the having."

This has been plaguing Dean's mind for days but he'd never really thought about what he'd do if it really was a romantic confession, and now he's just??? Not sure??? Where to go from here???

And then Cas has the audacity to just go back to reading his book like nothing happened. Dean is having a whole-ass crisis and Cas is just reading a fucking book. It's unbelievable. How can Cas just drop this on him and then go back to his life like nothing happened?

For some reason, that really sends Dean over the edge, because he walks over and takes the book out of his hands so Cas has to look at him. But what the fuck is he supposed to say? What message is he even trying to get across? What is he —

And before he knows it, he's leaning over and giving Cas a kiss. Cas seems taken aback by it at first — like, really taken aback — but then he kisses back, and it's great; it's something Dean had never fantasized about before and god, he's glad he hadn't because he never could have done it justice in his mind.

It's Cas.

What more does he need?

[roonilwazlibimagines]

What are some of your scenarios to fall asleep to? 👀

Ahhhh I’m glad you asked !! Also please feel free to share some of yours they can be specific or vague idc I’m in desperate need

I will be going into heavy detail because I can’t help myself I’m sorry and I will put in both normal ones and Harry Potter ones

Also this is just like one big ramble I’m sorry I got too excited I literally turned into that Tik tok sound where it’s like ‘you’re asking me about my theories? I’ve waited years for someone to ask me about my theories’

Update - I think I’m just going to keep updating this as well when I think of new ones because I keep forgetting some

My most recent one is a royalty one where they’re like royalty but in their really prestigious and royal school they were academic rivals and did not get along and after school they like try to go their separate ways until a couple years later their parents force them into an arranged marriage for like the good of the country or whatever I don’t really care!! You can take it wherever you want from there but in case you were interested in mine he fell for her first and kinda gave up on the enemies thing pretty early on but she still made it clear he wasn’t her favourite person and she despised the situation and there is still constant teasing until she meets his sister or friend or whoever who says that they can’t believe how happy he is with them and she feels so bad because she thinks he deserves better and ends up being much meaner to him because she’s an idiot who can’t express her emotions and he gets angry at her because she’s being super mean after they were just starting to get along and they have a big argument and are forced to talk about their feelings and then I can never decide whether they actually like each other when they get married, I feel like either way is fun

I have a thing for royalty so my other one is literally just princess x stable boy and you can honestly take that wherever you want but I will tell you where I took it for some ✨inspiration✨ so I don’t have my drivers license and get really bad driving anxiety so I self projected and made her terrified of riding horses right (I’m so smart I know) and he is like trying to help her ride the horse and feel comfortable and like obviously they end up in love but I created drama because she sneaks out to his birthday party (!!) but his friends don’t like her because they just think she’ll be a snob but he obviously defends her but like it’s a perfect opportunity for a bit of an innocent princess as well

My personal favourite is the two co stars falling in love and like thinking about doing all those stupid interviews from like buzzfeed and all that and I personally love the trying foods from different places thing (like making them try fairy bread - because I’m from Australia and we aren’t that cultured and being mad when they don’t like it because it is my favourite food) and it’s great because i can make the guy any actor I am currently obsessed with 😭 but also like the red carpet opportunities and interviews and fan reactions and it’s very fun also this keeps my brain very busy because I like making it as realistic as possible and figuring out the actors timeline so I can match the story up with it, it’s always really intense, also if you want inspiration for what moving they’re staring in I always go for the live action version of tangled even if I don’t look anything like rapunzel

Another fun one is where one of them is in a band and you have a friend who is dating one of the other members but you don’t like the band and you’re not shy in letting the other members know that and it turns into an enemies to lovers thing but I haven’t really developed it because halfway through I ended up changing it with the fact that they befriend one of the members and like fall for them but the band member like ‘gets around’ and it makes them jealous until they drunkingly confess it made them jealous this one’s a bit of a mess and is tipping into a 2012 wattpad story but it was how I got back into my 5sos phase two years ago because I felt icky about them but I’m still a slut for Calum 😭

Another one I love is moving abroad to study or whatever (idk I just always need a reason to be in America/Uk because there’s no one here in australia) and you make friends with someone who turns out to be related to someone really famous (insert whoever you want) and you meet them and you think they’re the hottest person you’ve ever seen and you get drunk to gain confidence to talk to them and you’re like unashamedly flirting with them and they think it’s cute and you’re funny but the whole little plot twist is that you don’t know they’re famous (famous people love that, trust me, I have about 10 wattpad stories in my library that can prove this) !! And the don’t believe you don’t know they’re famous !! Anyways I took it in a sugar daddy direction but each to their own!

Specifically for Harry Potter though, you ask?

Currently I am obsessed with Regulus Black and for about the past two weeks I’ve been obsessed with the idea of James potter sibling x regulus black enemies to lovers story and then about a week ago I found an actually good wattpad story about it?!?! (I have recommended it here with warnings but I really encourage you to read it if you’re not a minor) but you can also do your own version because I am still doing my own version and will continue to do my own version tonight even if I am obsessed with the wattpad one !! Currently I am up to post Hogwarts and her and regulus are trying to defeat Voldemort and regulus tells her that Peter is going to betray James and so ofc she tells James but James is like ‘how to do you even know this??’ And he is so afraid and gets angry at her and it’s really dramatic and she tells him she’s dating regulus and then he gets super mad at her because she’s dating like one of the most well known and loyal death eaters (even if regulus is sneakily trying to destroy Voldemort) and because he didn’t tell her and it’s very dramatic

My favourite Sirius black idea is also a James potters sibling one, but I never have any good ideas for it and just end up self projecting so if anyone has any ideas, I am begging you, please tell me !!!

My other Sirius black one is one I’ve been working on for like the last 4 years of my life and I probably should write it but who knows, but basically it’s a 10 things I hate about you x Harry Potter story where reader is about a year or so older than the marauders and she is like Kat Stratford (for people who haven’t watched it the best way to describe her is just an angry early 2000s feminist who is like anti dating and fun (kinda)) but she is Lily Evans sister!! And so Lily gets fed up of James constantly asking her out and makes an offhand comment that she’ll date him when her sister goes on a date with someone and James is like really?!? And Lily is like ‘sure’ because she knows her sister will never date anyone at Hogwarts so James tells the marauders and Remus is like ‘if anyone can take her on a date, it’s Sirius’ and Sirius is like ‘no, I’m stupid but not that stupid’ and James is like ‘please I’ll pay you’ and Sirius is easily bribed so he tries to get her to go on a date with him and like she doesn’t until she does and then finds out he only did it because James paid him but then they fall in love? Basically just 10 things I hate about you lol

My next one is with Draco Malfoy and all it is is that reader comes from a pure blood family and they’ve known each other since they were babies and it’s like basically destined they get married but she gets like really upset when he gets the mark which makes for a good cuddling and crying scene and like idk people are probably more creative than me but I just like reimagining scenes from hp but with this new character so like Poa when she gets angry at him about buckbeak or the bathroom scene (maybe she duels Harry?) and she’s so upset about Draco and comforts him, or helping him in sixth year and comforting him or the quidditch scene in the fifth book (weird note, but I’ve always headcannoned that my original character finds out about dumbledores army but doesn’t say anything and like the da knows she knows but she doesn’t tell Draco or maybe Draco finds out and gets angry at her?)

My other one is another Draco malfoy one where James and Lily live and she’s Harry’s younger sister (and Voldemort isn’t a thing) but like there’s still stereotypes and beliefs and such and like it’s obviously enemies to lovers and maybe they get prefect duties together ? (I am a sucker for this trope in Harry Potter) but then when they do date they try to hide it but Harry finds out but doesn’t say anything until they get into a fight at home and he is like ‘well at least I’m not fucking Draco malfoy behind everyone’s back) (in my head they aren’t fucking because they’re still in Hogwarts but you get the idea) and James and Lily are just like ‘WHAT?!’ Like idk I just think it’s funny imagining James and Lily finding out their kid is dating Draco and Lucius and narcissus finding out Draco is dating a potter - so many possibilities!

Update 6.10.21

I also have one for Charlie Weasley !! And basically you’re friends with the twins and like you go your whole Hogwarts life with the biggest crush on Charlie but like he low key doesn’t even know who you are and you want to become a healer and then after Hogwarts there is a position in Romania and you take it because you know Charlie’s there and at first he is like hmmm I think I know you and you explain you’re friends with the twins and obviously he falls in love with you I also took it in a nsfw direction where it’s like major innocence kink because Charlie is just such a dom to me and he like teaches you everything but he makes sure you’re happy and safe and it’s not really like serious sex you’re both just having fun and he kinda introduces you to dom/sub dynamics but you can do whatever is most comfortable