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ilikekidsshows · 10 months ago

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hey I figure that you’re probably tired of talking about the Sentimonster nonsense but I genuinely still can’t stand that it’s an actual thing. The wildest thing about it is that I JOINED the fandom because of the Sentimonster theory, actually got excited for it and looked forward to hints, not believing the skeptics or the salters bc it didn’t seem like such a big deal—that is until I saw with my own eyes how SO MANY FANS said with their whole chest that, in “Ephemeral” Adrien HAD to be a Sentimonster or there was no other “sympathetic explanation” for why he didn’t de-akumatize himself or fight off Gabriel.

Seeing the victim blaming in real time was such a punch in the gut—and then they just kept on coming!! It finally hit me how damaging the entire thing because for the show as a whole. If even regular fans that weren’t even known for salting could so willingly disregard and ignore genuine abuse coping mechanisms in favor of magical BS… it was such a dark time. Abuse Apologism and victim blaming in a whole package

Sometimes, when I write about Miraculous, I pretend I'm writing about a show that only had three seasons. That's what the "zagulous fandom" tag is for; it's for posts that are about the parts of Miraculous that had Zag's executive control keeping Astruc in check. I also kinda accepted long ago that my blog's kind of a support blog for people who are against the Sentihuman concept.

When I first heard of the expanded Sentimonster theory, the one that went "all the rich kids are Sentimonsters", I instantly went: "You do realize how making victims of child abuse nonhumans with questionable rights minimizes their victimhood and excuses their abusers, right?" people told me I was making stuff up and whoopsie doo, the writers did exactly that.

Neither Gabriel nor Tomoe faced any consequences for abusing Adrien and Kagami because, after all, since they're Sentimonsters, the real abuse was that they didn't have their Amoks so giving them their Amoks resolves all their problems. The only abusive parent who gets acknowledged as such is Félix's dad, who is dead by the time we hear about any of this, because we can't have abusive parents face consequences for their actions because that might upset people or whatever excuses Astruc's giving for Gabriel's vindication now.

This also minimises all the affects of the abuse on the kids, since they can be handwaved away with: "They were just programmed that way." Kagami's bad social skills aren't because her mother isolated her, it's because she forgot to program Kagami with those skills. Félix's villainous behavior isn't because his mother is overly permissive with him, he was just programmed that way (by the eeeeevil Colt). Adrien isn't a people pleaser because he's repeating his abuse coping mechanisms with his overly controlling girlfriend to keep her happy the same way he did to his overly controlling father, he was just programmed to be the perfect doting son and boyfriend.

You'll notice how neatly this ties into the crew denying that Chloé was abused in any way ever by her clearly abusive mother. Chloé wasn't made into a Sentimonster, so we can't have her bad coping with her abuse be excused by "Sentimonster programming", so now the writers are just gaslighting the audience and saying: "Chloé wasn't mistreated by her parents which caused her to act to out to get attention (which she literally stated to be her motive in season 3), in fact, she's the one who's been terrorizing her poor, innocent father and he needs to be protected from this naturally occuring evil hellspawn."

All child abuse in this show gets excused.

Of course, now the writers have an added reason to make sure Adrien's abuse gets excused in particular: because they made Marinette benefit from it. As I said, Adrien is repeating abuse coping mechanisms learned from dealing with his father to keep Marinette happy. He's always prioritizing her feelings and never brings up his own problems, and this is good for Marinette, because she can just enjoy having a perfect boyfriend who caters to her every need and doesn't have problems of his own or with the ways she treats him (for all she knows). She's even maintaining this status quo by lying about Gabriel to Adrien, so Adrien won't get upset (and have emotional needs that she would need to help him with). Either we have to excuse Adrien's abuse, or we have to admit Marinette is benefitting from the fact that Adrien was abused, and even taking advantage with the way she makes no effort to improve their communication on her end, preferring to spy on Adrien and lie to him instead of just talking to him like an equal.

The show writers are also allergic to following through on their creative decisions, is what I think. They put all these different victims of child abuse and neglect in the show, and then dehumanized these children in different ways so that they wouldn't actually need to say anything about that abuse they wrote in and they can instead pretend it was never there. This is why I also think that, no matter how much the show's defenders insist the story isn't over yet, we will never be getting a proper resolution to the Sentinonsense.

#ml critical #ml salt #sentimonster salt #ml writers critical

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rudemaidenswrite · 3 months ago

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Don't Belong Here

Part 5

part 4

By: @pusantheamazonian

Tag list: @rosecat5 @athenaricham-loves-orcs @pandainfinitely @rivalriotrenegade @rouge-fire175 @happymoonangel @the-witchs-posts

You don't know why but it's time. There's just something gnawing in your brain that Ronnie needs to meet them. Now that you two are officially dating. Because if they don't approve of him you're going to cut your own heart out. And you'll never be happy again.

Anxiety ridden. Biting the bullet, you give them a call. And it's picked up on the first ring.

"Y/N! I hope you're not calling to cancel tomorrow." Immediately the motherly scolding begins, somehow she knows something is going on.

"Actually quite the opposite."

"What's wrong?" Worry fills her voice.

"I was hoping I could bring someone with me. There's someone I'd like you to meet." Biting your lip, you know she's going to say yes. But you don't want to risk the chance that the answer will be no.

"Of course dear. You can bring whoever you need to." You can hear the relief in her voice.

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."

One phone call down, now the other. But there's no telling what he's up to today so quick text will do.

Ronnie, would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow? They're some people I want you to meet.

God. Why is this so hard to ask? You've rewritten the question three times. Nervously you push send. It's not like you're inviting him to have lunch with your parents and meet them for the first time. No it's just Tog and Dura. The ones who have looked after you and babied you since you moved here.

Damn it. They are your parents. As much as you hate saying it out loud to anyone. They are. Besides Charlie and Olivia already call them that.

*Ding*

Sure.

Great! Meet at my place at 11am.

Breathing a sigh of relief. Now here's to hoping everything goes well.

These people must be important to you. You have refused to say anything else about this lunch or even acknowledge that it's happening. He's got to step it up today, he definitely needs to look like a regular person.

The importance of this lunch is killing you. You already sorta know how Tog feels about this but Dura will likely kill Ronnie if she disapproves.

"Where is that dress?" Grumbling while sorting through the closet. You know that dress Dura bought you is in here and for extra bonus points you have got to wear it. Ronnie will be here any minute and you're still in your underwear. Not that he wouldn't mind but now is not the time.

"Ah ha!" Finding the dress, somehow you tucked it into a garment bag and shoved it all the way in the back of the closet.

Slipping the dress on you barely have enough time to finish getting dressed when there is a knock on the door.

Opening the door you can't believe it's him. He's in crisp new jeans and a button up shirt. There's no way he can clean up this good.

"H-hi." Stumbling over your words you have to force yourself to focus.

Damn she's gorgeous. Hair and makeup done. Smelling like blackberries again. The soft blue dress has matching beading around the neckline and belt. He's never seen you in a dress before. He'll never say it out loud but you usually dress like you're homeless or just rolled out of bed. You oddly feel like home.

"You didn't say what to wear. Hope I chose right." Shrugging you see his ears twitching awkwardly.

"Yes." Actually you couldn't care less about what he wore. They'll find out he's part of the Fogteeth sooner or later.

"We are meeting some important people of mine for lunch. Just let me get my purse." Staying positive is the only way to make it through the day.

Important people? Worried who's so important that you won't say who it is? He picked up on the fake smile just now. You now have him worried about this meeting.

He's been driving for about twenty minutes towards the outskirts of the city with you giving directions. The neighborhood seems decent enough. A bunch of smaller homes and it seems strangely quiet for the most part.

"This one here. With the iron fence." Quickly pointing at the house a few yards down.

He pulls into a blacktop driveway beside a white brick bungalow. Getting out of the truck he's hit with a variety of strong smells. Vegetables and flowers but the most noticeable one is Orc.

Making your way around the truck, you grab his hand firmly and lead the way.

"Are you feeling okay? You keep biting your lips." Asking he knows the answer. You're not and it's worrisome. Nervousness and fear keep wafting off of you, getting stronger with every step.

"Just a little nervous." Shrugging you try not to give away how terrified you actually are.

"You're nervous?"

"Well, you're the first person I've brought home." Fidgeting you quickly push the doorbell.

“Brought home?” Confused, he couldn't have heard you right.

The door swings open before you can answer him. An old orc woman answers. Excitement covers her face.

"Y/N! My darling daughter, it's so good to see you." She's loud and excited. He's never smelt such happiness from an orc about a human.

"You saw me a few days ago." Smiling, you give her a quick hug.

"So? If I had it my way you wouldn't be able to leave the house." Teasing she pinches your cheeks.

"Mam!" Embarrassed, you shoo her hand away.

"Oh hush. I don't want any sass from you. Your sister has enough of it. Now who is this?"

"Mam this is Ronnie. He's the one I talked to you about. Ronnie, this is my mother Dura." You calmly gesture between the two.

It doesn't go unnoticed that you introduced her as your mother and the happy gasp that came from her. She knows you're not very public with telling people who they are.

"Come in! Come in! Lunch is almost ready. Your father is setting the table now." Grinning Dura nods inside.

Holding Ronnie's hand tightly you head to the dining room. Pausing slightly you see him finish setting the table.

"Pap this is Ronnie. Ronnie, this is my father Tog."

He instantly recognizes the old orc you call father. He was working that day, he caused a scene.

He's stunned. The ones you call mother and father are orcs. In a moment time feels frozen but moving at hyper speed. The realization hits him hard. You have brought him to meet your parents. That's a serious commitment step especially in Orc culture. You're basically presenting him to the chieftain; the leader; your father that he is your chosen mate.

"Y/N, come help." Dura asks from the kitchen.

"Coming!" Giving Ronnie a smile you quickly pat his arm before disappearing into the next room.

"When we are together as a family for meals. We speak in our mother tongue. It helps keep the language alive." Tog explains in Bodzvokhan, with a stern face gesturing for Ronnie to take a seat.

"It’s so that we don't forget how to speak it." You lean over to whisper as you put some food on the table.

"Charlie speaks it too?" Surprised that thought never occurred to him.

"Yeah and so does Olivia but she's still learning." Trying not to smile at Ronnie's confused face you sit down beside him.

"How did you two meet?" Dura questions, passing bowls of food around. Not giving Ronnie a chance to process anything.

"Ah um at a Fogteeth block party." You don't necessarily know how to explain it.

"Y/N! Since when do you party?" Shocked, Dura's disbelief is evident.

"Because your daughter signed me up for a fight club. So they all know me now." Huffy you make it known what her sassy daughter has been up to.

"Y/N! What have I said about fighting?" Frowning, Dura tsk's you.

"To knock them out in one punch." You pretend to punch someone.

"Dura's father was a boxer. That's how we met. I worked as an errand boy when I was a child at the gym where her father trained." Tog interjects.

Now it clicks in his mind about why you can fight. My God you're from a family of Orc boxers.

"Could be worse, you forget that Charlie and Olivia met at a strip club." Sighing the way you and Ronnie met wasn't entirely a bad way, just very unconventional.

"Why do I believe that?" Ronnie laughs.

“They were both waitresses. Cause Charlie can't dance and Olivia is accident prone.”

The rest of the lunch visit goes well. No red flags popped up. And watching Ronnie interact with them is nice. It's not often you or Charlie bring someone here. Only after two years of dating was Olivia introduced and Ryan was only after graduation.

Gathering the leftovers for Charlie and Olivia. You see Pap and Ronnie walk outside.

"Y/N."

"Yes Mam?" Turning you see how worried she is.

"Are you sure? This will affect your reputation." Dura nods at him.

"I know Mam."

"As long as you're sure. I worry about you the most." Sighing she knows that once you've decided something, that's all that matters.

"I know."

Cupping your face with both hands, she gives you a soft forehead kiss.

Waiting on the porch Tog finds now is the time to personally talk to Ronnie

Outside he can feel and smell the anger and suspicion from Tog. The air seems to be electrified.

"I say this once. Harm Y/N in any way and you will not get off so easily as before. I am from the old country. I know how to get things done."

Astonished he never thought he would be threatened like this. But it doesn't come as a complete surprise since he has been a jerk before because of stupidity.

"I don't plan on that happening again."

“Good. She's the most stubborn and sensitive of two. As you are well aware by now.”

Back at your apartment you quickly set the food on the counter and properly face Ronnie. You could tell he was thinking about stuff from how silent in the truck he was.

"Sorry I sprung this on you like this. I didn't know exactly how to say ‘come meet my parents who happen to be Orcs’.” Apologizing, you don't want him to be mad about today.

"Daughter?" Questioning he tugs on the shirt of your dress.

"Yeah. Basically adopted us. Me first, then when I said I had a sister they were ecstatic."

"They're never letting you go." He gently grabs your hand intertwining the fingers.

"Good cause I'm not letting them go." Smiling, you know it's the truth. If anything were to happen to them. You'd probably go crazy. "The first few years I lived here were harsh. I survived on my savings and their generosity. At one point I was living with them. After scrimping and saving. I had enough money to buy a decent house or a really good apartment. But then Pap lost his job at the factory. So in secret I bought that house for them. With the money I had left over, my sister moved in with me into an apartment."

Besides the fact that you were only eighteen when you moved here with everything you owned stuffed into your car. Thinking you were a badass with no definite plan. You skipped graduation as payback for your parents kicking you out on your eighteenth birthday and living with a friend for the last four months. That they took pity on your stupid self. Working two jobs and going to school full time. You had lost all control of time and self preservation. They made it their mission to make sure someone was taking care of you since you dropped the ball on it. Before deciding that it would be best if you were to move in, to pool resources. And them giving you courage to fully do what you want with support.

"What do their children think of this?"

"Their son Mek died as a child and never had any more." Shaking your head sadly. "Charlie and I joke that Mek is our guardian angel."

Smelling the sadness he changes the topic.

"So how is it with work then?" That's always been a question burning in his head. He's never heard of an orc to have an actual decent job.

"Manny is my full time assistant. Pap works as my part time assistant."

"How do you have orcs as assistants?" There's no way you have that many Orcs actually working with you.

"The loophole is that I'm allowed to have two assistants of my choosing. They have to pass a background check and be personally trained by me." Giggling you boop his nose at your secret.

"Damn. That's a good loophole."

"Manny already knows us, he used to work at the same factory. So why not? I choose my father and a family friend that acts like my big brother." You start to fidget with his buttons.

"You've never said your parents are orcs. Why?" Taking a risk, the question makes you ooze out sadness and loneliness.

"Granted they've probably already had their share of hate. It throws everyone off at first but they taught me how real parents should act. I love them so much I just want to freeze time and wrap them up in bubble wrap." Sighing there's just an unexplainable love for Dura and Tog. "I don't want anything to happen to them. And just shouting to the world that my parents are Orcs will cause unnecessary hate."

Pausing he lets everything sink in. Everything he knows and what he found out today. “Sprinkles, you are the most complicated person I have ever met. With an immensely kind heart."

"Thanks." A defeated chuckle escapes. "Besides, you have no idea how restricted and complicated the adoption process is. But to adopt from another race is nearly impossible. The only successful cases were those involving half breeds but then they were only allowed to be adopted by whatever races they were a part of."

"How do you know this?"

"When I was nineteen I wanted them to adopt me. So I went and got the paperwork and researched everything. But I wasn't able to do anything about it, besides this country doesn't recognize adult adoption as being legal."

"That's bullshit!" Scoffing that's ridiculous.

"I know!"

#reader insert #rudemaidenswrite #bright fandom #orc x reader #orc boyfriend #monster boyfriend #meet the parents #orc x human #Surprise #orc #Orc

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anghraine · 2 months ago

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Tumblr posting isn't the hallmark of activism and no one is obligated to talk about Palestine on here. That being said, it sure is interesting that you never mentioned Israel's ongoing genocide until you decided to make a post about how antisemitic people who do talk about it can be (and provided no example, so it's vague enough it serves no purpose whatsoever, can't be argued with of learnt from).

I did wonder if that would be someone's takeaway (and even that it would likely be on anon), so this response was already largely prepared.

In any case, my fandom account is not the totality of my existence, even online, and particularly not at the moment (I used to talk about politics more here, but don't tend to use this account for that kind of thing these days; I've also barely acknowledged the Trump/Harris election that will directly and drastically impact my own life and which I'm following closely). I mentioned the grotesque antisemitism directed at Jewish people regardless of whether they're Israeli or not, mainly coming from people who have no more stake in what happens in I/P than I do, because it's become so common over the last year in fandom spaces and conversations, and is therefore relevant to this account. There are no genocides happening specifically on Tumblr, but there are people here using Israel to present their pre-existing antisemitic ideas as leftist praxis and to air them more openly.

In addition to that, I don't generally feel the need to Be Seen Having a Take on matters I'm not especially familiar with—particularly as a US American, since we tend to be too quick to share our super important center of the world opinions on other countries' geopolitics regardless of how much we know or understand about them—until I've had time to think, research, and phrase what I want to say. Once I was more familiar, I wanted to be clear that I consider Israel's actions horrific and that, simultaneously, I find the increasingly regular fandom antisemitism I've seen intolerable and unjustified (and I did feel these needed to be in the same post to avoid being misunderstood even in good faith). I kicked my post out of drafts because at that point I'd seen enough to feel equipped to do so and felt it was sufficiently clear about where I stand, and because (as I said in my tags) of a specific and particularly abhorrent display of antisemitism I saw on Tumblr yesterday.

I also did not feel the need to duplicate and broadcast specific instances of antisemitism (much less that one) in order to dunk on it or whatever. Broadly though not universally, I prefer talking about overall patterns that bother me more than litigating isolated instances, even when it's ... like, annoying trends in Pride and Prejudice fanfic or something, but all the more when it's a systemic social problem. And given that I have a number of active Jewish mutuals who would see my post, I didn't want to inflict it on them all over again. If you think I would find something grotesquely antisemitic that's actually totally fine, then you're free to find someone else to follow.

#anon replies #respuestas #politics for ts #cw antisemitism #general fanwank #anghraine rants #long post

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not-poignant · 2 months ago

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Just saw your post about Ghibli + elements of grotesque with the Nausicaa gifset and how you wrote an essay comparing it to Shinto philosophy and I had to ask - you didn't happen to write that for an IB film class did you?? Cause that would be a WILD coincidence if so, bc I'm doing IB film rn and one of our extended essay examples was literally exactly that; an analysis/comparison of Ghibli movies and Shinto philosophy/religion and it was really really good.

Even if not, that's so cool!! I adore Ghibli and totally agree with the points you left in the tags of that post. Ghibli is about confronting the uncomfortable and ugly and grotesque and scary and acknowledging it as a valid and necessary part of life. Everything in balance!! Sure there are some more cutesy kiddy films which I feel have become more mainstream but especially films like Nausicaa have very real and important messages that often get overlooked :( I was really scared of Nausicaa when I was a child and now it's one of my favourite films!!

Anyway, you're awesome, I agree with your takes and Ghibli rocks 💪

Hi anon!

So this is going to be a wild journey, strap in.

I don't know what IB Film is. I did my thesis in a final year university unit specifically where we all developed our own thesis subject, had a supervisor, and it was basically a test run to do first class Honours (which lets you bypass a Masters degree and go straight to the PhD, which I then intended to do). It was a limited class that only had about 10 people in it, I believe. My supervisor was the head of the film department.

Now, this was back in about 2004. Shit I'm old. Ghibli wasn't a household name. It wasn't streaming anywhere. You couldn't get DVDs easily, and if you wanted them you had to make sure you had a region unlocked DVD player to deal with the DRM and then buy them from overseas. Most people were only getting exposed to these films if they were regular cinema-goers, or if they were an aggressive pirate via downloading torrents (which I was). The only place you could get Ghibli merch pretty much was Japan. It absolutely did not have the kind of traction it has now, no one could do a class on it outside of Japan because the majority of students would have no idea what you were talking about.

I think Disney/Lasseter had picked up the option to do dubs, but for the most part, if we were seeing these at the cinema, they were subbed.

So that's the context! That was in an era where I was the one directly getting all of my friends on Livejournal and in person, into Studio Ghibli. I went to the Ghibli film festival back before Spirited Away came out, and that got me hooked years previous.

In 2004 I did my thesis. At the time I was the only person in the English speaking world to do a thesis specifically on my thesis subject. It had been covered briefly in sentences like 'Miyazaki practices Shinto' etc. and there was one other unpublished thesis I was able to find that talked about concepts of Shinto and some of Miyazaki's films which helped me a lot with my thesis.

I went on a deep dive into Shinto. Because it was a thesis, I had to research a lot into the difference between folk and shrine Shinto (Ghibli films lean very 'folk' but there are moments of shrine Shinto), and ended up with a pretty baller reference list. But many, many, many more resources online and off have come out since. I'd find the thesis very easy to do if I was doing it now.

Because I was the first to kind of present my findings in a thesis like this, the thesis ended up getting published in a book on animism and then journeyed further on because it was of interest to people who are interested in representations of animism in mass media, especially popular mass media.

The specific focus of my thesis statement was the difference between the black and white puritanical morality of Disney, the most popular animation studio for children and adults at the time, versus Miyazaki's mixed morality and more nuanced explorations of good and evil, villains, heroes and antiheroes in Ghibli animations, and how that was at least partly founded in the difference between a more Christianised versus Shinto mindset in relation to nature and intersections with humanity.

Idk, something like that.

The thesis did well! I got my high distinction, got my invitation into first class Honours, and then was too sick to go on and get the PhD and teach about these things, which was what I fully intended to do!

My thesis got some traction over the years, published in a few places both online and in at least two books (one that I own, the other I forget because it's been oh my god like 20 years), so the idea got around!

Anon, there is actually a chance - a small chance - that the only reason you're getting this essay subject in a more standardised curriculum is because my thesis made its way into the public eye 20 years ago and got quite popular. It was never peer reviewed or anything, it wasn't a PhD thesis and didn't need to be, it was mostly just a very well-researched (if I do say so myself) collation of thoughts on the subject as someone is also a practicing animist. In retrospect I really wish I'd incorporated more of Zipe's teachings but he was in a completely different field to media studies and my supervisor didn't know about him to suggest him.

Discussions of Ghibli, Miyazaki and Shinto became a lot more popularised as Ghibli got more popular and people in the western world discovered that there were already a published essay (at the time people could read it without paying for it as I'd put it up online for folks to access) that linked to other sources and the unpublished essay I'd found. So...

Um, yeah, that's wild, because I know that this wasn't a thing in universities 20 years ago, because I was so desperate for resources I was emailing around and asking universities so I didn't have to figure so much out myself. 😅

#asks and answers #time is wild #this was one of the things that helped me get into the golden key society #i'm sure #unfortunately the thesis is published under my legal name #which i'm not super comfortable revealing on this tumblr specifically #(it's not the name associated with my facebook account)#(and i'm the only one in the world with my legal name so yeah)#(like it's findable but i just don't like to volunteer it)#anyway good luck with your essay!!!#an essay would've been way nicer #my thesis was like 20k in words sadlkfjsa #mini thesis - i was so ready to make it a book though lol

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ahsokathegray · 9 months ago

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Rain Over Me

Pairing: Rexsoka

Prompt: Rexsoka Monthly Dec. ‘23 - Unexpected Encounters

Summary: When it rains, it pours. At least, that’s how Rex had always heard it. But he soon finds even the most dreadful of rains give life back to that which lacks it.

Tags: angst, bittersweet, rainy confessions, lost without each other, established relationship, post bad batch

Word Count: 3,426

A/N: this was just an excuse to write sad, lonely Rex with a reunion in the rain and I’m only somewhat sorry (@rexsoka-monthly)

read on ao3! / masterlist

The wood on the dusty, old shack was darker now with the onslaught of rain. Its months dry boards drank in the water and was hydrated once more, appearing to be in its prime again if only until the rain cleared. In more ways than one, it had been a dreary summer and the rain was much needed.

Rex had grown fond of the little restaurant — if one could call it that.

It wasn’t kept up to standards, he was most certain. He’d only seen someone sweep the place once. It was a sad little place, but comforting in its own right. The only faces that were constant here were those of the owner or the employees. Rex never saw anyone else twice.

Maybe he saw a bit of himself in the old shack — weary, unkempt, a stranger to itself, lacking energy.

He wasn’t an old man, no, the cure had stopped all that. But he did feel like it, and he’d always look older than his true age. Seventeen years of life didn’t reflect what he felt in his joints, what he recalled in his mind, what was on his false chain code, and what he saw when he looked back at himself in the mirror.

Yeah. Like the shack in the rain, he felt he was falsely young in appearance. It felt wrong not to age so quickly anymore, even though it was the most normal part of human life.

Rex carded a few fingers through his short, blonde curls, wicked the rain off his coat, and ascended the creaky steps. He took a menu, even though he knew he’d order the same thing as always, and seated himself at his usual booth.

The owner, who was old, wordlessly brought him a steaming cup of caf.

“I see we are past the point of asking now,” Rex observed, a corner of his mouth turning up.

A raspy laugh filled the stale, humid air, “What can I say? You’re my favorite regular, Rex!”

The other corner of Rex’s mouth raised, “I’m your only regular, Mr. Kip.”

“And a damn good tipper too,” the Ithorian man smiled, winking before walking back into the kitchen.

Well, he had nothing else to spend his credits on.

Rex scanned the menu items as if he didn’t already have the selections memorized. Even the daily special was the same every single day. Nothing changed and he found he had no qualms about that. After years of unpredictability and pushing his body, mind, and heart to their limits of strain, he found peace in the monotony of routine.

After much deliberation, Rex settled on the Single Sun Breakfast to no surprise. He half expected his meal to be brought out without confirmation, but old Kip stopped back by to make sure anyway.

He could get used to it — the not talking. It was rare he did much of it anyway these days, what with living alone. And, truly, he did enjoy the company of the staff, but the more minimal the interactions the better. Getting attached to people was a flaw he would never risk again. Losing so many loved ones in such a small frame of time would prompt anyone to make such vows.

Rex very much hoped there was a version of himself out there that hadn’t sworn it off, that he was happy and surrounded by those he held dear.

His fork was turned around in his fingers as he tried to ignore the fact he’d finally acknowledged that he was unhappy. It had been that way for years now and it was difficult to revisit the last time the opposite had been true.

It had been warm on Mandalore, when rumors of the war ending sparked hope rather than memories of almost; when battle felt good and he felt invincible and life had been first punctuated by something like love and a woman like her.

Squeezing the cutlery, he set it back down and threaded his fingers together, glancing out the condensating window instead.

Rain came down violently onto the flora just outside the establishment, but pattered softly on the windowsill. Every now and then, a drop found its way inside, or perhaps it was the water droplets still clinging to his hair. Oh, if that illustrious Captain could see him now. That version of himself would disapprove immensely of so many things — but his hair would be at the top of the list.

He did not wish to remind himself of what came second and was thankful when he spotted his plate emerging from the kitchen. His breakfast was brought out with little fanfare and looked as if always did. This pleased him.

As he ate, he thought of what he needed to get done in the upcoming week. He needed to give the old Y-wing a fresh coat of paint; the Republic and medic insignias were becoming visible again, as well as a damning shade of blue. The hole in the roof of his tiny home needed to be patched still. He kicked himself for not doing it sooner and added purchasing a bucket to his growing list.

Something like a laugh escaped him around a bite of rolled omelette, thinking about his helmet being used to collect water from a roof leak. It was when his head lifted up to do this that he saw a pair on montrals facing away from him, seated at a booth closer to the door.

There was a tightening in his lungs and the gaping hole in his heart was reopened; discarded of anything he’d ever used to cover it with. Rex swallowed hard and placed his head in his hands, counting as he regulated his breathing.

This happened every time he thought he saw her.

And, without fail, it was never her.

He ought to have internalized that by now. It had just been so long since the last time he mistook someone else for her. Lone Togrutas were not a sight seen often; they didn’t tend to stray very far from Kiros or Shili.

Rex wished that wasn't the case.

Seeing them more often might’ve kicked this fool’s hope earlier — the one that bubbled up violently inside him whenever he caught a glimpse of three lekku rather than the usual two or, like today, a set of montrals.

They were femininely shaped and blue, just like he knew hers to be, which didn’t help matters.

Getting up from the table to visit the refresher solely to see if it was her was something he was not going to let himself do. He had to get over this. He couldn’t let it control the trajectory of his day each time it happened.

Exhaling and centering himself, Rex finished his meal with a difficulty that hadn’t been present before and told himself his appetite was still there even though that was far from the case. Memories of similar breakfasts in similar restaurants with her bullied their way to the forefront of his mind. Small bouquets of freshly plucked flowers, dirt still clinging to them, being given to her and then placed in a cup of water from wherever they’d been eating.

Rex couldn’t help himself.

Once his plate was clear, he looked across the six booths that separated them. But the woman’s montrals were nowhere to be seen. Rex waited a little longer to see if she was just leaning down looking over a menu or taking a bite of food, but the montrals did not reappear.

Panic swept through him, his veins turning into hot plasma underneath his skin.

He rose promptly from his booth, eyes glued to the one she’d been at. Only a half finished mug of tea sat on the table. She never did like caf. His heart rate shifted into high gear and he made a beeline for the register, already fishing around in his pocket for credits, his fingers shaking.

“Oh, there’ll be no need today,” Kip said with a particularly pleased smile.

The hand in Rex’s pocket stilled and his heart leapt into his throat. “What do you mean?” His voice rattled as he spoke.

“Why, the young lady who just left covered your meal. Said to thank you for your service,” The Ithorian pointed to the entrance as the door slid closed.

For the first time in a long time, the world around Rex melted away and began to slow. Everything became muffled. The credit chits he had in his hand were placed onto the counter despite what the owner had just told him and before he could even tell them to do so, his feet were carrying him to the exit.

“Rex, what do you want me to do with this?”

“I don’t care,” he answered without looking back. “Pay it forward.”

Thick sheets of rain now came from the sky, pouring down so heavily that the world around him had turned white. The clouds flickered and thunder sounded, accompanied by angry strikes of lightning. Any footprints that might’ve been left behind in the mud had been washed away as quickly as they were made.

Whoever she was… she was gone.

A hand was clapped to his shoulder but Rex didn’t look down.

Kip sounded confused yet sympathetic. “She’s not gettin’ away in that, if that’s what you’re thinking.” The old man paused. “If you’re after her, I reckon’ she’ll be back again tomorrow.”

The hand was removed and Kip walked away, but Rex stayed frozen in the doorway. If it was her, he was doubtful she’d be back for breakfast the following morning. She could get away even in the most hopeless conditions.

Rex clenched his teeth, pulled his raincoat tighter and set out anyway.

It was like he hadn’t been living on Dantooine for the past year and a half. He was directionless, as if all the memorized paths, landmarks, and shops had been washed away with the rain. There was no departing vehicle, no lights, and no indicator of where the woman had gone.

Defeated, Rex looked up into the sky with his eyes closed, letting the rain fall over his face and streak through his hair. His chest had knotted itself and his knees threatened to buckle under the torrential downpour.

But Rex stood firmly, shoved his hands into his pockets, and let the rain soak him to the bone as he walked towards the small town.

He spent the remainder of his morning stopping by every establishment there was until the shopkeepers started closing up due to weather. The folks he did manage to speak with hadn’t seen her and each tried to hand him an umbrella or invite him inside until the storm passed.

He declined.

Straggling passersby still caught in the rain gave him funny looks as they ran to get to cover. Rex was in no such hurry.

The overgrown road that led to his tiny home was taken in the shortest possible strides. He did not wish to return there, especially not to a datapad he knew would have no messages on it. He had half a mind to turn back to the restaurant if he didn’t think they’d already closed up like everyone else.

Rex stepped into his home and was greeted by the sound of dripping water. He sighed deeply, unmoving in the doorway until he could suppress the viscous tears that taunted him behind closed lids. Once they were managed, his boots and raincoat were discarded, the mess from the leak was mopped, and his helmet was removed from its place under the bed to sit and collect the intruding water.

He watched the rain fill his bucket until it went past the visor before he fell into the awaiting embrace of sleep that was always there to help temporarily subside the pain.

More than anything, Rex wished he could say that he hadn’t woken up early, that he hadn’t gotten up before the neighbor’s nunas began to stir. He wished he could say it wasn’t in his plans to go sit up at the restaurant and wait all day to see if the woman turned up.

Really, he should be using his time to buy paint for his ship as well as a proper bucket for the leak, but neither of those things seemed to matter much at the prospect of running into her.

It was pathetic. He knew that.

He could’ve just saved himself all this trouble if he’d gotten up and used something as an excuse to see her face. But no, Rex chose to be strong when it mattered the absolute least.

His thin blanket felt as though it weighed ten tons when he rose out of bed, dreading vehemently the idea of waiting around all day for nothing — dreading the pit in his stomach he knew all too well when it wasn’t her after all and just some stranger. Rex’s feet hit the worn wooden floor and he rubbed his bleary eyes, aiming first for the refresher and then for his helmet.

A considerable amount of rainwater had been collected in the makeshift-not-makeshift bucket and more was being added still. The rain had yet to cease but it had slowed a great deal. He picked it up carefully and walked it to the door, yawning as he did so. Soft sheets of rain greeted his bare feet as the door slid aside, coming down now in a gentle shower-like way as opposed to yesterday’s storm.

Rex decided that when the rain stopped, he’d call it. He’d tie his mood to it, give himself an allotted period of time to feel this incessant pain before forcing it down again.

He swung his helmet to the left and watched as the water landed on his long-dead flowers, before looking out at the state of the rest of his yard.

The helmet nearly fell from his hands.

A hooded figure was inspecting his ship, an orange hand running across a partially revealed red sigil and skirting across blue paint. Any fleeting thoughts of making a grab for his blasters vanished. Rex knew that hand better than either of his own.

She turned and lifted slightly the hood of her cloak to get a better look at him.

There she was. Then she was as if no time at all had passed. As if she’d been down the road all along.

Ahsoka was dressed in that gray cloak he knew well, with lekku he used to know but that were now nearing her waist. Her montrals were taller than they were last time. He wondered if they’d be eye to eye this time, and if looking her in the eyes would still feel the same as it always did, as he wanted it to — needed it to.

Even from this distance, he could see her bottom lip quiver.

“I had to be sure,” she called out over the rain.

Rex struggled to speak, suffering from having too many words in his mouth and yet not at all.

She glanced back at the Y-wing behind her and ran a hand over the chipped paint job, revealing a bit more of that 501st blue.

“I knew your face as soon as I walked into the restaurant yesterday, but I wasn’t certain that it was the one… that it was the one I had loved,” she continued.

He joined her in the rain now. It was cold on his bare shoulders and worse as it streaked down his torso, but he didn’t shiver, nor did he care he’d be tracking yet more water inside. Rex’s chest tightened and his mouth dried. “Loved? As in the past tense?” he called, water beading on his hair and lashes. Not all of it was from the rain.

Ahsoka shook her head, droplets running off her lekku.

The pause between them was occupied by the steady fall of rain.

“You know the worst thing about love?” he asked.

She nodded, looking briefly at her feet, “That you remember it.”

Rex’s tongue pressed into his cheek and he nodded with her, “I knew from the moment we parted the first time that I’d spend a lifetime missing you.” He waited a bit. “It’s proved true so far. Each time it gets worse.”

He couldn’t tell her tears from the rain, but knew that she was crying. Rex was always aware that it hadn’t ever hurt any less for her. “I never intended it to be that way,” she called.

“I know.”

She stepped closer, weighing her words. “Rex, the hardest thing I’ve ever done is walk away still madly in love with you. There’s not a minute that goes by that I don’t regret it — that I don’t sit and wonder about what you do each day.”

“Well currently, it’s wishing I’d gotten up as soon as I saw you sitting at that booth. I’d know your montrals anywhere. Convinced myself it wasn’t you.”

“And before that?”

“Wishing I never let you say goodbye.”

She swallowed hard. “I have a lot to make up for. I know that. And I know this doesn’t begin to cover it, but do you think I could start with breakfast?” she asked, holding up the takeaway box that was under her cloak. “Mr. Kip told me where I could find you, said you ran out after me.”

Rex couldn’t suppress his smile. “No. Breakfast was covered yesterday. I think you’ll have to get more creative than that today.”

Ahsoka laughed and bit her lip, her eyes overcome with emotion. Shaking his head, Rex dropped his helmet into the flowerbed and all but ran to her, holding her trembling frame to him with possibly too much strength. The box fell. Her arms wrapped under his and he found that she fit better than she ever used to. He removed her hood with desperation and his chin fell into place between her montrals, still having at least one head in height over her. Rex kissed repeatedly the space between her uppermost chevrons as the sobs took control of her body.

The rain slowed to a drizzle and, as he’d vowed earlier, his mood lifted with it. Morning rays peeked out at them from behind the trees, warming their skin.

Being with Ahsoka was like walking into the sun, like walking directly into sunlight after the longest winter.

She pulled away first, though by the look on her face, it seemed to be the last thing she wanted to do. Her eyes were glued to the mangled scar on his chest, momentarily ashamed of looking him in the face.

But Rex’s hand slid under her jaw and moved her to look up at him. “I can’t think of anything better than breakfast with you. We’ve suffered enough, Ahsoka. Come inside. Stay with me until we have no choice but to leave; and even then, stay with me until there are no more planets left to run to. Let’s have breakfast together for as long as this life allows us because life without you is no way to live.”

“I haven’t had breakfast in a year and a half,” she said, tears streaking her cheeks.

Rex wiped them away. “You’re not missing out. It doesn’t taste the same when we aren’t together.”

Ahsoka eyed the slightly crumpled box of food on the ground and Rex picked it up, popping it back into its correct shape and wicking the water from it.

Apologies tumbled from her lips, but Rex wouldn’t hear any of it. She’d fought and offered her aid to the Rebellion until she couldn’t any more; until she was sure they could manage without her and that Rex wouldn’t die if she came home. It was the type of thing he had long since accepted — back when it had been cold on that moon, when rumors of another war began, and battle no longer felt good and he no longer felt invincible unless he was with her. Only one thing stayed the same. Life had still been punctuated with something far greater than love and a woman named Ahsoka.

His eyes did all the asking as he leaned in close. Ahsoka gave the faintest of nods, allowing him to kiss away her apologies; first slowly and then with an energized passion only she could provoke.

And just as he hoped they would, Ahsoka’s fingers found his curls, and he carried her and their very cold breakfast inside, leaving his helmet to become the home for several long years of blossoming flowers.

#rexsoka #rexsoka fic #rexsoka monthly #december 2023: unexpected encounters #my fic #ahsokathegray #rain over me

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auberge13 · 4 months ago

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These two moments are taken from the conversations Jon has with each of his parents before joining the Legion of Superheroes. There is one particularly interesting difference between how Lois and Clark each view the decision.

(Lois Lane 2019 issue #4 and Superman 2018 issue #16)

"doesn't leave you much of a choice, does it?" vs. "I am jealous of... the choices in front of you"

Now, if you're like me, this is the kind of thing that makes you very excited about characterization and storytelling so let's get into it.

Clark is a character who never really felt like being good was a choice that needed to be made. He was raised to be good by Ma and Pa and he is so inherently good that he can't imagine being anything else, let alone choosing to be anything else. Meanwhile, Lois intimately understands that being good is a choice that you have to make over and over again, even when it's hard. Doing good the way she does is constantly challenged, particularly by her father. Her choice to do good costs her that relationship with him, and she isn't able to fully reconcile with him before his death, which is explored intimately in this book (read Lois Lane).

As my friend @fae-morrigan put it while we were discussing this, "I feel you could easily read it in a way where Clark is jealous that Jon's been shown he could be Other Than Good and make an informed choice about Being Good. Where Lois knows that choosing to be good often comes at the expense of other good things (in her case, her relationship with her father)"

There's a key moment in the issue after the above screenshot that really showcases this.

(Lois Lane 2019 issue #5)

It's important to acknowledge that there is no part of Clark that would choose not to be Superman. They're the same guy. Clark would do good anyway in whatever capacity he could, he just happens to have a really large capacity. When he says he is jealous of the choices in front of Jon, it is less about doing or not doing good, but rather about how he's going to do it.

(Superman 2024 issue #1)

My friend @ultfreakme explained this really well. "comparing LOSH to college works like that because Jon's going to college (learning to be a hero), but he gets to pick from a million different majors and fuck around for a bit with a support system to fall back on if he fails. Clark went from high school (regular dude) and straight into a job (being a hero) with no ability to like....try something different."

So that's what we can learn about Lois and Clark from this, but what about Jon? The comics do a really cool thing where they break up Jon's complex thoughts about this choice into multiple conversations with different people. With Lois, Jon expresses the sense of obligation he feels. With Damian, he's able to share his hesitance, even telling him that he doesn't think he wants to accept the invitation at first. Finally, with Clark and Imra, he's able to feel his excitement about this new step in his life. It is all very college! I felt all of these things before I left too! But beyond that, this is also a great example of the way Jon will compartmentalize his issues and limit his vulnerability depending on who he's talking to. He has a tendency to minimize his own feelings in order to make other people more comfortable, which you can really see in the different things he's willing to express with each person.

Anyway, I think there's more to be said here and I'd love to hear what other people think about these moments, but I'll call it here. Moral of the story, read Lois Lane 2019 and then create something for the Jon Kent Week Mama's boy prompt- the Jon and Lois in that book are top tier. Also, if you've gotten this far you clearly like this kind of analysis so here's my post about why they aged up Jon. When I posted it Tumblr had put me in jail and turned me into a robot (wow Absolute Power is so immersive!) so it didn't show up in the tag. Sorry for the plug but I'm a little bitter about it lol.

#jon kent #clark kent #lois lane #superman #dc meta #jonology

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simp4konig · 11 months ago

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𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞!! 🎄🎁

°❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️

It's Christmas! I myself am celebrating for a three-day period with my family 😊, and I wanted to celebrate it with everyone here, too! ☺️🫶❤️

Was wary that I wouldn't write this in time, but, thankfully, I wrote it *just* in time! 🙇🏼‍♀️

I want to take the time to thank everyone for this amazing year I've had! 💫🚀✨🌠 I created this account around mid-August, with my first post being on the 17th/19th (if you can count an anonymous reblog as a post 🤭), and in less than half a year, I've made so many memories and had so many memorable interactions that I cherish and will cherish from here onwards.

Thank you to all my followers (all 412 of you!!!! 😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕💞💞💕) for deciding to follow this profile of mine.

I acknowledge updates haven't always been regular, and I know that I have not posted a fanfiction in nearly two months, but I want you all to know that with the new year, I will best this year's best and do even more of my hardest to give you regular updates. No official promises, though. I don't make promises, but I *do* give my own devotion. 🤧💔

I honestly feel so horrible for having an inactive account, and from the bottom of my heart, please accept my apology. I promise to do better, and do more for you all. 😓

Still, thank you to all of my followers that like my posts on a regular basis! I see you, and appreciate you. 👀💞

°❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️

And, I would like to devote an entire section to all of my mutuals. You people all mean a *lot* to me, and I thank you all for just being here 🥹🥹❤️🙏❤️❤️✨:

Thank you, @puff0o0🎅.

You were the inspiration for this account.

Had you not inspired me with your Self-aware AU series, and your COD works, I doubt I would have written anything. But it was you, your character, and your writing, that inspired me to write my own works, and I'm so happy to have you here, eventhough, I'll admit, I'm a total POS at times and tell you to kill yourself every day <33

I genuinely appreciate you so much, and I'm glad that you're not only a mutual, but someone that I can call a friend. I still remember how excited I got when you followed me back! 🥹🥹🥹🥹💓💓💕💞💞💞💞💓💓🤧🤧💕💕💕💕💕

It's an honour for me, really, and, although I'm not the best at words sometimes, please, I want you know that you've made a meaningful impact on my life.

Thank you, @simpforkonig🎄.

You were one of my earliest mutuals and I had really enjoyed talking to you.

I see you 👀, liking my fanfictions and posts eventhough some of my posts are downright unhinged. 🤗💫

I'm thankful to have you as a mutual, a silent presence that makes me smile. 🥰❤️

Thank you, @abysslovesyou🦌.

It is *ME* that loves *YOU*, btw!! 😽💓💕🙈💖✨💞💕💕

I will forever remain your No.1 Appreciator™. 🦸🏼‍♀️🦸🏼‍♀️🌠

My interactions with you always brought a smile to my face, and I will always dedicate my works to you even if you are not tagged anymore.

Thank you so much for your kind words, and your encouragement. It all has meant, and still means, a lot to me. I hope that I can get around to finish all your RQs before I am rotting on my deathbed LMAOO 💔💔⚰️🥀🧟‍♀️🪦

Thank you, @aethelwyneleigh27🍪🥛 (thank GOD🙏 even tho im atheist 🛐, that my phone had your user saved. With my dinosaur arms🦖, it'd have taken me YEARS to type your name out ☠️☠️💀).

You are genuinely one of the loveliest people I've ever met. 🥹🥹💓 You are so kind to me, so genuine, and it's not often that one meets someone like you.

I still remember how I had short circuited when, when I went to follow you, it displayed that we were mutuals and you had been following me all along, like??? 😭😭😭 What an honour????? 🥹🥹🥹💓💓💓 AND THEN YOU ADDED ME TO YOUR TAGLIST AND I WAS LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAADJDJSJSJA😭😭😭😭💘💘💘💘💘💘

Somehow, it's due to your amazing writing that I have fallen HARD for Ghost. 😓 The Dad! Simon series is one that I have been reading lurking from the shadows reading, can't believe I blew my cover my liking your post LOL 🤡. Anyways, thank you for honouring me with your follow. 🥹💓🙏✨

Thank you, @nevadancitizen🎁.

I STILL can't get over that it was ME that inspired someone to write something 💔😭😭✋💗💗💘💘💘💘.

Your fanfictions were and are great! It's an honour to have you as mutual, given your writing is a pleasure to read. ☺️☺️🫶✨

Thank you, @trepaika (no Christmas emoji because you don't celebrate it, so have a cookie 😘🍪).

You're a good friend of mine, and I appreciate you beyond words, even when you say nothing in the group chat aside from sending that GODforsaken gif of Tom Hutcherson 😘😘 LMAO 😭❌

Okay, but in all honesty, you're so lovely to talk to, and I'm glad to have you as a mutual, and friend. 🥹💖✨✨💓💕💕

Thank you, @skeletalgoats☃️, for... erhmmm?... being SO unhinged that you aren't even connected to the door frame, I guess? 💀☠️☠️

OKAY, but seriously, you're hilarious. I find your energy infectious, and even thought I do a double take when I see the stuff your little noodle has boiled, I like it this way. 🤧🤧💖

Thank you, @nightlyvoidz🍻.

I may not know you well, and you may not know me well, either, but you're genuinely the most sweet person I've met.

To me, you're wholesome, and I think you're really lovely. 😇💓

Thank you, @dobaddo🐻‍❄️.

Please forgive how tumblr wants to cockblock our conversations by refusing to send me notifications 💔💔😔🙏 That aside, I think you're really funny, and I love how we have loads in common (ehhh, stuff I won't list for obvious reasons 🥶🥶). It's a great day when we actually have the occasion to talk a little, about everything and nothing HAHA 😝🩷🩷💓💞

°❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️

And, finally, I would like to thank for a final time all of my followers: the oldest, the most recent, the ones that check in on me, the ones that lurk from the shadows, the ones that like my posts, the ones that reblog, and especially the ones that leave comments. I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank *YOU*! for blessing me with my own little corner of the internet. 🥰🫶❤️❤️❤️🙌✨✨❤️

Have a wonderful Christmas (or, a wonderful time if you don't celebrate it💪💪😎😎💯🙌)

Until next year! 🚀

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pangolin-404 · 1 year ago

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Im honestly really worried for ranboo. Most people that get this big on the internet either get desensitized to stuff and become a bit of an asshole (or a full asshole) or get destroyed because of how much they care. Ranboo seems to be heading towards the second category and I wish for them to be okay

[post]

I really have no idea where I see Ranboo going from here. There are plenty of big creators who do good (Jacksepticeye's Thankmas, MCC charity events) and to me, the Particles for Palestine event was like that. A big creator utilizing their platform to raise awareness and charity. I... genuinely I don't see how people are so upset with Ranboo over . what? Not doing more? Not coming out with in-depth, nuanced reactions to global events? When they probably knew as much as you or I did.

Yes he broke promises, he is not a guiltless victim; he kept playing TLOU2 even after told of its inspiration, he didn't do as much charity as he said he would, and it's good he's acknowledging that, but this visceral reaction to him runs deeper than that, it looks like? I feel like he should stop raising peoples' expectations and over-promising; he's one guy, he's young.

I know it's probably mostly in Twitter--in the Tumblr tags, the worst I saw was a couple people calling them spineless (sorry Ranboo, but good lird, he is a little bit spineless for not telling people to stop idolizing him). But I can't wrap my head around the logic behind people going after his ankles.

Now, I personally can't think of anyone fitting the "get destroyed" option you claim has happened, Anon. So I'll be honest I think it's a little bit overdramatic, but I agree with you in that I'm also worried for Ranboo.

I worry that a whole nonprofit will be too much for them. That is a whole organization, and even if they have others working with them, that is a lifelong commitment. This is something he cannot back out of (or he will be making another empty promise) or give to someone else to handle (he said he would be active in it).

Ranboo has Generation Loss/Chronicle 0, White Noise, The Sorry Boys (if that still exists. please it's been months,), his usual streams and YouTube videos, and his own personal life and self to tend to. Genuinely, I worry a whole entire nonprofit organization that intends to address very heavy topics will break the camel's back. I don't know what that will look like, but I doubt it'd be great for his mental health and anxiety (and I worry talking too much about that, lest I get parasocial, if I haven't already!).

(I'll be honest, I don't expect the organization to go anywhere past its first few months of existence; if it does, it will be without their major role in it, or they'd be stretched too thin. I feel bad for saying that.)

All due respect to him, of course, but he is a variety gamer on twitch dot teevee, and I do not understand why people demand more and more charity and apology from him when his job is to play video games and make people laugh.

I get why people want him to state his stances, to be assured he supports Palestine. To be vocal about a tragedy happening. I get why people expect a charity stream during pride month, or an eventual donation to somewhere to help during a disaster. What I do not understand is how this isn't enough for some people.

to quote something I said when talking to a friend about this: I think he should tweet "yall need to respect me as a regular everyday person and stop seeing me as a paragon" and delete twitter and turn off the internet in his house

#thoughts #asks #ranboo #discourse #anonymous #also: again like the post this ask is from; I want to hear others' perspectives on this act

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halorocks1214 · 1 year ago

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okay so i just steamrolled thru detective pikachu returns over the past 2 days because i was sick and had nothing else better to do and right after finishing it i went into the tags and WOWIE the negative reception is very large!! i do understand and even agree with some of it but i just felt the need to get my own thoughts down (again. sick with nothing better to do) so take a peek under readmore for very typical elongated halo ramblings about his fave video game series

for the record i never played the first game (only watched a few clips of it on youtube even) but i did go see the movie in theaters. just figured i'd mention this ahead of time so my favoritism is known and to prevent myself from coming off as a perfectly unbiased reviewer

BEWARE THE SPOILERS BTW

(post-editing note: it be long under here, you have been warned)

to start off YEAG this game is not worth 50 bucks! the story's pacing is all over the place and is very basic, the graphics are not particularly well refined, the characters' expressions do not fluctuate as much as they should (professor gordon in particular ;-; i felt so bad for him), and the voice acting outside of merloch and detective pikachu himself are kinda phoned in! it felt like an early 2000s 4kids dub for real. even the gameplay aspects themselves were rather meh in presentation; the button hitboxes were annoying to deal with and as cool as i thought the "main" mechanics were they were incredibly clunky and the tension they tried to build up in the "solving the case" climaxes was just Not It. there was absolutely no reason for the loading/pauses to take that long

(the pokemon gimmicks were okay tho. i would die for growlithe)

however, this isn't a problem specific to this game. while i enjoyed scarlet it was definitely not 60 bucks material (and when i went back to it for the teal mask i even went "good lord, did it always run this badly?"). i gotta give credit to detective pikachu, at least this game ran properly for the most part and never crashed on me lmao

while that doesn't negate the criticisms i previously mentioned i simply wanted to say that this is going to be a problem for as long as pokemon keeps making money. this isn't me finger-wagging at anyone in particular (i certainly have no room to talk, i did say i liked scarlet), i just wanted to say: yeah, pokemon has been A Mess

"but halo!" you cry. "you talked like the negative reception was overblown! what gives the giant negative paragraph??"

because much like scarlet, i still really enjoyed this game sdfjnsdk. how can i say that with confidence, though, when i largely agree that there were many, many issues to be had with its performance?

the word of the day: expectations

and perhaps this is where my bias comes into it. whenever i play a spinoff game (like snap or pokepark for instance), i don't really go into it for mindblowing gameplay and stories, i do it for the same reason this series has kept me enraptured for over a decade of my life:

the pokemon themselves!!

there are SO MANY little things that the regular games don't go into, and while i have my own headcanons and OCs i can play off of, it is so much fun to see actual canon material acknowledge certain things you've only ever theorized about!!

the whimsicott were so fun to watch float around, the article asking where a furret's tail began and ended made me laugh out loud, the fact that they went hard into the "slowpoke tails are eaten as food" thing, and the "let's not get into that right now" jokes about venonat hunting other pokemon and dusknoir eating souls LIKE. i LOVE when pokemon goes into its more "serious" aspects. i know main series games do it too occasionally but outside of offhanded mentions or pokedex entries, do they go this hard into them? if they do and i'm just stupid pls tell me about it i'll eat that shit up

being reminded of less-talked-about pokemon is always a plus and how can you not pop off when you see one of your faves included in the story? (INTELEON AND WOOPER I'LL KICK THEIR ASSES 4 U) it's simply fun immersing yourself into the world of pokemon and getting a glimpse of what it would be like to have pokemon walking down the street and how that affects everyday life! maybe the story is basic, but it served its purpose and i had fun going along with it!

perhaps it's just my mental illness talking, but walking around and seeing all the pokemon and THEN doing the quiz girl's quizzes was actually kinda nice! even if the puzzles weren't that hard, i can't lie and say i didn't pump my fist when i guessed where the mystery was going like with cramorant swallowing the jewel or how the passimian statues needed to hold different berries. overall, i just enjoyed being reminded of how much i know and what i love about this series

also, the ways they incorporated the movie were pretty baller. i liked how they didn't just do a repeat of the mewtwo plot from the movie and let me tell you, even tho i called it early on, i liked that my suspicions about the aurora drop being deoxys were confirmed!! (i suppose it's not that hard to guess bcs what other pokemon comes from space, but i just recently finished playing omega ruby again and i normally don't think about deoxys a lot so LET ME HAVE THIS)

plus "i heard they made a movie about the R case" MADE ME SCREAM. i thought they were just going to ignore the movie and do their own thing but then they DID THAT. incredible. you can call my expectations low (which is valid) but holy fuck

so the TLDR for those who want this: if you want a sweet but cliche game exploring the world of pokemon with a lot of funny moments + worldbuilding, then this game is perfect for you. if you want a game with a groundbreaking story with graphics to boot, then yeah, you're not gonna find it here. i've even seen people say their own nostalgia of the original spinoff wasn't enough to get them to enjoy this game, so take my words with a grain of salt

i would say just watch compilations of the game on youtube, but not every youtuber is gonna go fully exploring the game for all of its little details, so if you care about that kind of stuff, buying the game is your best bet. also if you don't care about that kind of stuff then you should just ignore the game altogether etc etc anYwAY

as for a TLDR for the TLDR: new pokemon snap is goated and i would say a more enjoyable experience than this game esp if you didn't like it so PLEASE buy it the game's only 30 bucks and you can throw treats at pokemon PLEASE it has so many sidequests and interactions you can partake in PLEASE i prommy i won't bite PLEASE stick your fingers in my enclosure PLEASE PLEASE PLE

#pokemon #detective pikachu #detective pikachu returns #video game review #my post

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silvermoonshipping-is-love · 3 months ago

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previous anon here! its absolutely understandable why you feel that way, especially since i noticed you were here during the creepypasta fandom recession era (2016-2019), where people were starting to police what was the right and wrong way to intepret the pastas.

As for the drownedsilver hate, while i cant confirm for sure it was the source, was primarily started by a pokepasta fnf community member who has been recently outed as a creep and a generally terrible person (who called any ship they disliked proship!!) 😭 they had an iron grip over that community for 2 years, hence why so many people were dogpiling! Now that they're gone, i see more people being comfortable with putting out drowndsliver content out there!

I dont know if this information or acknowledgement will eleveate your anxiety. But i hope you gain the courage to post more about your own intepretations of ben and silver 🫂 You shouldnt feel like you have to appease a wider public to enjoy what you love.

My favourite example is the fact that say Ben HAD to be a pervert or a stoner and an asshole, nevermind the fact he's a deeply traumatized child, stuck in a video game and canonly a pacifist and not (intentionally) hurting anybody, like that is fine, but GOD FORBID you make EJ's skin slightly blue-ish to go with his overall colour palette. But also god forbid if you draw or write anything messed up or more mature in whatever way?? If anything the creepypasta fandom of all things being so strict is so odd, most characters don't have a fully set personality or the fact that all kinds of awful shit happens to them, especially CHILDREN, but wanting to draw two characters smooching? Now you've gone too far lmao.

Policing fandoms and fandom activity is a rising trend and I'm not happy about it as a "fandom old" so to speak lol. My motto is unless you are genuinely harming someone in real life or crossing someone's boundaries, just tag it correctly, and you do you. I may not like everything you do personally, but unless you are actively interfering with me or trying to harm me or others, whatever.

Also I was never in the community fully due to the incident and the hate towards SilvernMoon, so I never heard about this person. But unfortunately I'm not even that shocked, if you're that adamant about how wholesome or pure or unproblematic you are and everyone has to be, then you just seem all the more likely to have some skeletons so to speak. Just a real shame about my one FNF AU, cause it's sort of a personal one to me, cause of venting and feelings depicted.

If you mean creep as I think you do, I hope the victims are okay now.

But on the flip side I also eventually thought the fnf community are hypocrites anyways. Cause I saw all the hate for SilvernMoon while not even say incest stuff got as much hate in all my fandom years, yet the very person most of the community shipped Silver with? Red. The Red from his story. The same Red that is the whole reason Silver is forgotten and dead! I don't want to fully ship-shame, I just wanna showcase the irony, like- THAT is fine but SilvernMoon is wrong?? SilvernMoon out of all ships I ever saw is the one people drew the line at and hated the absolute shit out of???

Also there was a similar person over here in the regular creepypasta fandom that dogpiled on me as a minor, so that added, who called me a pdf file because I portray these characters as adults and made a more adult joke, but they INSISTED every version of Ben had to be 12 years old. Gurl, I don't know how to tell you, but the ghost kid that haunts a Nintendo Cartridge... He's not real, his whole concept as a cyber ghost isn't real. I know it's shocking to hear, you may sit down from that, but it's the truth.

I am getting better but it still feels like a long road to fully heal and say "fuck the haters"... I keep trying to even do youtube or stuff, but all this is holding me back pretty strongly-

#melly rambles

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omegaremix · 7 months ago

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25 Vinyl Records That Influenced My Vinyl Collecting Habits.

‘Top ten’ lists - they were so commonplace on social media before the pandemic that half of the people you knew participated in them. Your friends involuntarily posted lists of their top ten favorite albums, songs, movies, sports moments, video games, books, or whatever came to mind. Then they’d nominate you to do the same if you even cared. All of a sudden they stopped and for a few months everyone did tournament brackets. These days no one does either. Now, tag a band and see if they acknowledge you exist, solve a simple math problem where everyone with a Facebook diploma in mathematics are out to prove you wrong, or answer some useless questions to find out what your new gang initiation name is by removing your first and last letter and any surviving vowels.

But I don’t care about childish entry-level entertainment that everyone will forget about five minutes later. I’d watch Fox News for that. Longtime Ω+ followers know our ‘top tens’ are much more than that: they are playlists, mixtapes, end-of-year finds, and best-of decade results. That’s what I’m into. I’m into what’s important and that’s identifying with people. It’s not a contest or a be-all-end-all game of right-or-wrong. It’s all fully subjective. Without personal results, how special or unique would these lists be?

The last survey I was nominated to do was from WUSB’s Mister Edison, the station’s only cylinder aficionado in its’ 45-year history: top ten vinyl records that influenced your collecting habits. I did volunteer to do it and I was halfway there, then somehow along the way I deleted it. Now, here it is. But, instead of a top ten, we’ll do a top twenty-five because I’m compulsive and 10 is not a square number. All records shown here regardless of size, speed, color, or print run are those that have changed not only my record-collecting habits but also have shaped my musical tastes to an extent.

The record that started it all? KMFDM’s “Power” 12”. It was the very first vinyl record I bought with my own money, just mere months after purchasing most of its discography in one shot at my local record store. I ordered it from the TVT / Wax Trax mail order - my very first mail-order to be exact - numbered to 3,000 copies as a single-sided etched vinyl record in a clear plastic silk-screened jacket. That also came with Underworld’s “Rowla”. Shizuo’s High On Emotion e.p. was my third. Found at what was Port Jefferson’s Music Den, that’s a record I had to have at first sight because I knew it was extremely rare. Glad I made the right call because I never saw it again. Even though I didn’t have a turntable, I bought them anyway thinking I could hold on to them until I finally got my hands on one. Turned out my ma’ and dad had one: a wooden box smaller than the records it played. It literally had no sound and was deemed almost unplayable, so a close “friend” of mine gave me his father’s 1972 Panasonic and a copy of Autechre’s We Are R Y 12”. I was now in business.

From there, another one-time pressing of theirs, the “Keynell” e.p., introduced me to the panic of now-or-never buying. Booth & Brown collectors know how insanely rare their limited edition e.p.’s are and also how they and Warp divided up their Cichlisuite and Envane e.p.’s in two parts. And that was nothing to when Aphex Twin released not one, not two, but eleven e.p.’s as the Analord series through his Rephlex label. Ten regular platters and two versions of Analord 10: either you got the Aphex logo picture disc or, if you were really lucky (we mean that in a literal sense), one that came with the Analord binder which is fetching impossible prices right now. Some of them even came with the mythical Analogue Bubblebath 5. We’re just happy to have purchased all eleven editions for regular price when they first came out. Amazingly in that same year, I did my first-ever label run and purchased $300.00 worth of vinyl and disc releases from DHR.

The first hardcore record I got my hands on - Kill Your Idols’ This Is Just The Beginning - was also the very first music purchase I made at any show. Three years after one of my close friends introduced me to Sick Of It All and hardcore / punk in general, This Is Just The Beginning flung the doors wide open for crushing similar-styled tough-guy finds. Most Long Island record stores sold them when they came in, and places like Hicksville and Centereach’s Utopia (when they did sell them) offered many easy one / two / three-dollar bargain bin purchases of many 7” records, 45’s, and 12” LPS. The Howards & Checkerboard Charlie split is one example of that and one of many local acts I possess. Jemini The Gifted One’s “Funk Soul Sensation” is the only hip-hop record on the list. Ten years ago I re-discovered golden-era hip-hop and realized there was a treasure trove of white-label and 12” singles I never heard of from that time. Those hip-hop / rap singles can be found on the cheap in the same manner as those discount hardcore records. I’ll be on a life-time hunt for them as at this point I don’t have enough of them.

It’s no surprise to see that more than half of this list is made up of Seventies’ jazz / fusion records. If not for Lonnie Liston Smith & The Cosmic Echoes Astral Traveling, I would not have the size of vinyl library I have now. One of our former hip-hop dee-jays at the station played “Expansions”, “Aspirations”, and “Colors Of The Rainbow” and those three cuts literally changed my life. It opened up an avenue for me to re-discover who I was and revisit a certain era of time I missed out on. From that point on, it was all about that era’s sounds, sampling, and personal favorites. John Tropea’s A Short Trip To Space, Les McCann’s Music Lets Me Be, and Roy Ayers’ A Tear To A Smile - those three records define my final years at Stony Brook. Phil Upchurch’s 1979 solo outing, Stuff’s self-titled debut, Emily Remler’s Firefly, Steve Khan’s The Blue Man, Ramsey Lewis’ Tequila Mockingbird, Eric Gale’s Multiplication, and Ronnie Laws’ Pressure Sensitive tie me in and keep me connected to those years.

Karla Bonoff’s Restless Nights and Urbie Green’s The Fox influenced my collection in an amusing way. I had no idea who both artists were until I pulled them out of the bins. What had me purchase them? I bought Restless Nights and The Fox solely based on the year of release (1979 and 1976 respectively). One listen of each and I knew I made two right calls.

Remember when we posted our entry about our close friend Syke who rescued a pile of old records from being thrown out to the curb? Of the 500+ he found, he gave us 50 and we still have most of them. We selected Pete Shelley’s “Telephone Operator” as a reminder of that free giveaway.

I could list both volumes of the original Dirty Dancing motion picture soundtrack which my ma’ had, her only surviving childhood vinyl record of Disney’s Cinderella, or The Pac-Man Album 12″ picture disc written by Patrick McBride and Dana Walden. But those three mentions aren’t influential; just early Atari-youth memories. My first-ever childhood memories I still remember (not photographed) are also vinyl-related: J. Geils Band’s “Centerfold” and The Cars’ “Shake It Up”; the latter which I have in my possession and are the markers of all classic rock records I own around that era. (Think Dire Straits and Donald Fagan’s The Nightfly to name a few.)

Another Atari-youth moment I remember is The Chambers Brothers’ A New Time, A New Day. My dad cut out the album sleeve and used it as a paper holder in our garage. That very record made me think of whatever few platters I remember him having before he sold his entire vinyl library and our library of Atari 2600 games…for a paltry $50.00. “He needed the money” he told me; which is always a pathetic man’s answer to everything. Had he’d seen how enthusiastic I was into music collecting, he would’ve handed his entire collection to me. Roberta Flack’s Quiet Fire, Kiss’ Rock & Roll Over, and The Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers and Their Satanic Majesties Request were the four in his collection he parted with and I have three of them, not including The Chambers Brothers release. He tried to make it up to me, however, by bringing home two separate piles of records he rescued from the curb. One heap was full of polka records which I donated to WUSB’s resident polka lady before she died the same year. The other heap? Since you didn’t ask: loads of classic hippie rock records, showtunes, and celebrity albums. Jim Nabors on wax? Stop before I deactivate this account.

Finally, Boulders’ Rock & Roll Will Never Die. Look it up and you’ll see it’s a near total obscurity only confined to hipster circles who know what’s up. A five-track Wharf Records release picked up for less than $3.00 is the one 12" that may as well get me into the Discogs purchasing game for all rare releases (not found in stores) I’ve been looking for in the past seven years. I’ve played many of them on Omega WUSBand soon after bought a substantial chunk of their discographies in one shot (three Happy Meals / Free Love LP’s and three Black Marble discs, for example). As a nice side effect, it’ll be the the same for cassettes as well such as Believer/Law’s Matters Of Life And Death and JS Aurelius’ Machines Water The Plants Now - if the seller’s price is right, that is.

Notice how we went from KMFDM to Boulders? You can’t get any more disparate in styles and worlds between the two. The first purchases, public library finds, donations, record fairs, mail orders, samples, jazz-fusion and soul, hardcore and hip-hop buy-outs, record-store victory tours, and many other moments I might have missed…that’s 25 years of buying vinyl records spanning many different collecting eras and genres for me. That’s only one format, and also not counting acquiring music by other means such as radio and downloads which also shaped my collection. The bingo board jumble you see is only a tiny pinch of my musical tastes and not the whole story of my listening habits that’s usually broadcast on Omega WUSB or always posted here on Ω+.

After making this list, I’m reminded that I’m the most diverse person I know. I’m proud that my low-lying threshold for accepting and liking sound and concept allowed me to make that diversity into a science and have that mind-blowing knowledge I have of it. I’m as consistent, thorough, and far-reaching as I possibly can while hitting as many targets as possible. Would there be more bingo boards like this? Only if I make sure of it.

Phil Upchurch: self-titled

Lonnie Liston Smith: Astral Traveling

Karla Bonoff: Restless Nights

Steve Khan: The Blue Man

Chambers Brothers: A New Time, A New Day

Emily Remler: Firefly

Boulders: Rock And Roll Will Never Die

KMFDM: “Power”

John Tropea: A Short Trip To Space

Les McCann: Music Let’s Me Be

Shizuo: High On Emotion

J. Geils Band: “Centerfold”

Aphex Twin: Analord 10 picture disc

Jemini The Gifted One: “Funk Soul Sensation”

Roy Ayers: A Tear To A Smile

Ramsey Lewis: Tequila Mockingbird

Pete Shelley: “Telephone Operator”

Autechre: “Keynell”

Kill Your Idols: This Is Just The Beginning

The Cars: Shake It Up

Ronnie Laws: Pressure Sensitive

Stuff: Stuff

Eric Gale: Multiplication

Urbie Green: The Fox

Checkerboard Charlie b/w The Howards split

#omega #music #mixtapes #playlists #perosnal #vinyl #records #jazz #fusion #soul #noise rock #industrial #electronic #rock #hip-hop #new wave #ska

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doublegoblin · 1 year ago

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An introduction of the re variety.

Greetings and salutations! So a lot of this will be old news to people but I've had a bit of personal growth and what was an old introduction post doesn't reflect how I feel as a person much any longer. So I am making this updated version (the old one will still be kicking around just not pinned).

So once again hello! My (pen)name is Maxwell Alabaster(he/him), Max or Maxwell is fine!

Not including the RP stuff I used to do on forum back in the early aughts, I've been hobby writing for about a year and some now. It started as a private personal thing to keep my mind occupied while I was between jobs but at some point I decided I wanted to share my stuff with people! So I did just that and made this here blog.

I would still consider myself an amateur writer, not to deflect but to acknowledge that I have room to improve. Also I am hungry for engagement (brain likes seeing the notification number go bigger) so please don't feel like you can't leave little comments or reblog. I don't have aspirations of hitting it big or publication, but, interaction is still nice and I can only share my stuff so far.

What I post on here are the first drafts of my two larger WIPS and one off stuff. I've tried my best to have all these things in their own linked pages! My style or genre usually falls under the horror or darker side of things, I'm an edgy bitch what can I say. Mostly though I just tend to write off the vibe I'm feeling for a particular one off. I don't think my stuff is particularly spine tingling but hey some people have different tolerances.

Rituals and Red Tape : Slice of life/dark fantasy story told from the first person perspective of Alex, manager of the auditing department. Set in a dream like world crafted by an enigmatic group of outer beings known as The Board. Their main duties are to stop problems before they happen that break the rules of reality, or, fix the problems if they are too late.

Abnormal Analytics Company Communications : Found footage/document style story. Very heavily inspired by things like the SCP foundation and minorly inspired by content surrounding what is known as the 411 phenomenon. This story, or rather each “case”, is experienced via the messages and emails between members of some kind of research organization. While these is no main POV character it can be assumed that most of this information is viewed through a single terminal.

I also have a WattPad where I post the edited version of Rituals and Red Tape (if you want a more coherent and better quality version) and also the logs of AACC.

Edit 9-7: I guess I've also started doing voice work lol. I'll work on getting a section made for just the audio works at some point! I'm still learning the craft and editing stuff but it's been a passion of mine for a while and I hope to make it a more regular thing! If you think my voice would be good for your things hit me up! I can promise I will try my best =P

I am also very open to asks about my stuff, being included in tag games, and stuff like that. I can be a little slow to respond due to my limited time but I make an effort to get to things when I can! Heck even if you want to just send a random ask, I'm down for that too.

Closing words

I can't really say I'm excited to get to know people since I've already been here for a while lol. Also this blog can be very messy as I enjoy a wide swath of things. But yeah, check out my stuff, leave me words on those things (good or bad but above all helpful) and enjoy I guess?

#writing #writeblr #original fiction #original writing #creative writing #original work #get to know me #writeblr intro #introduction post #Writer intro #writing community #amature writer #Hopefully this version is a lot easier to follow and digest #The last intro post was just far too messy for my taste #I also want to spread warmth to the people who have already decided for some reason to follow me lol #you guys/gals/nonbinary pals are the folks that keep me going

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carnal-lnstinct · 2 years ago

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End of Year Wrap

Another year coming to an end and another joy in working behind this blog. There has been so much good to come this year that of course I have to give the credit where it is due and it comes from everyone who follows, interacts with, and encourages the content of this blog. Thank you all! Always for the support, the idea sharing, the requests, and everything that has helped make this an unforgettable and fun experience for me. From the bottom of my heart, the love I have received has been so meaningful to me.

Happy Holidays and A Happy New Year to everyone!

Individual appreciation

For those who made this year much more enjoyable than it already was and just some kind words to those who, even without realizing it, never fails to be just what I needed at the right moment ♥

@blue-wristbands

My dearest friendo! You have been nothing less than a blessing to this blog. ♥ Always supporting my wild musings and inspiring me left and right without even trying. Plus your art is amazing and I hope we all get to see more of it in the year to come. Your kindness and friendship has been very special to me, I hope only the best for you!

@emmacornell

First off, thank you for opening my eyes to the joy of Raditz and his thighs potential. I'm thrilled that in this year I had the chance to interact with you, share interests with you, bounce ideas off you (EVERYONE THANK EMMA FOR SCOURGE OF THE STARS RIGHT NOW), and actually get to see your writing! You catch a lot of references I make in my fics and tags and that always puts a smile on my face! You are without a doubt someone who keeps me excited about writing and I need you to know your writing is beautiful and with your blessing we may see more of that in the future! And I mean be feral about it

@kayisonline

We've gotten to interact more towards the end of the year and you've really been a delight to talk to! I feel honored that you trust to speak with me about things in your life and share some of your interests with me! Especially about Gohan and Vegito ♥♥

@beneathstarryskies & @actuallysaiyan

Protect these two at all costs! I had to acknowledge you both together because I consider you guys the dynamic duo of my dash! ♥ You are more than an inspiration to me than you know and I lose my mind when you reference me in your posts. We have a lot in common which is an even bigger bonus and there are not enough words to say how great a pair of writers you are. I am looking forward to what ideas you bring out for the next year! Please always be kind and patient to yourselves, your writing is always amazing and we will always love it!

@missnebulaasnebul

fellow Vegito lover 🤝The niche you created with your blog is so special and that one VegitoxBlack!Reader fic killed me please always write more for the fusion boys. Your headcanons especially are so well versed and thought out, it gives so much more depth to fusions than "they're just goku and vegeta fused". That is love and that is care put into what matters most to you and these are so important! I'm happy to know your blog exists and can't wait to see what you make next. ♥

@miss-taura

You are very kind and have been since the first time we spoke! You have also encouraged fics for SS4 of all saiyans and that is crazy but I'm crazy with you and I cannot lie. ♥ Our interactions have been brief but always so pleasant!

There are so many people that have brought so much friendly interaction and support whether one-offs or on the regular that I can't quite think of everyone, but thank you all so, so much! You all have my love.

For the future

At this time, I'm not certain of all the events and holidays I will be participating in, but I will keep everyone updated as much as I can. Favored events will definitely come back and feel free to recommend any events you think would be a good fit for this blog. Requests will continue, but I will be using the rest of December to work on my own fics. I look forward to doing more events, get into collabs, creating new series, and, as my comfort grows with writing characters, expanding on writing requests if possible!

Lost WIPs

Can't send off the year without some writing wips that didn't quite make it, so since I have nothing better to do than to reflect on the stories and wips here's a synopsis of things I thought I wanted to write but didn't 👌🏾 (yes they are mostly dwd-related it rules my thoughts 24/7)

Neither Goku, Nor Vegeta - Vegito

Because of course I wanted a Vegito version of it! Though, I wouldn't have written him as jealous as Gogeta was rather than just obnoxiously confident of the impression he would leave on the reader. What can you do about it with his dick inside ya? Nothing, that's what!

Pouncy Super Saiyan 4s

This one was just a headcanon post for signs SS4!Saiyans give off before they "pounce" on the reader. I love an excuse to write feral, needy boys okay. there was gonna be cuddling

Toppin' Vegeta

Gotta get wasted and top saiyans, that's the key. But I got writer's block with this one and didn't go back to it.

Yandere!Goku

This one was less yandere and more of some just straight-up evil au. Like if the wishes made on the dragon balls worked like a monkey's paw or evil genie's wish. So if Goku dies and you bring him back to life, what did you bring back with him? Did you bring all of him back, or what is this creature possessing the body of the strongest warrior on Earth who fucking READS MINDS? Kinda inspired by AHS:C0ven

Hard At Work - Lifeguard!Raditz

When you go to a resort and thick-legged lifeguard keeps finding you around the beach. All from an ask I sent emma ♥ Would have been about that ONE THING I can't avoid in writing but actually on purpose.

Remaining Saiyans AU

That AU I wrote before about how surviving saiyans are basically hunted and captured as the last of their kind to be put to work or...used. And of course it would have been an au where SS4 is the default look. My dropped Vegeta fic for smu//tember would have been an introduction to it to see if I really wanted to delve into that au but I guess I didn't. Actually I might still do it but it would be a loooong time before it comes out xD

DWD Sex Pollen Trope

I didn't know EXACTLY what the SP Trope was until I looked it up and realized it was basically the Elysia fruit from DWD Valentines Day fic. I loved the idea of the fruit so much I wanted to write another fic about it where A) Chi Chi actually got Goku to grow an Elysia Fruit Tree to sell the fruit and it just fucks up the atmosphere and those around it get super horny for science or B) Kamidere goes to the planet Ambrosi to get another fruit and takes Goku and Vegeta with her.

DWD Yamoshi!Vegeta x Kamidere Reincarnated Trope

I don't fully remember, but I did want it to be like if Yamoshi was reincarnated as Vegeta and upon becoming a SSG remembers his past life and interactions shared with the God of Destruction who came to Planet Vegeta. As in Goku and Vegeta were not her first saiyans to be fond of. Also further going into the dream of the Super Saiyan God (or seer fish prediction, whichever is "canon") that is really why she went searching for him.

Divinely Favored Follow up

This was just going to be two fics, one for each pairing where Vegeta and Goku reveal what the winner wanted from Kamidere. also more threesomes with the wives because why not. It was just gonna be "normal" for the pairing now. Spice up your marriage with a destroyer god 👌🏾But I think where they ended is fine and didn't need a follow-up.

Lot of good, fun ideas with poor timing and planning put into them. Maybe they die with the year, maybe I come back to them and tweak them with a fresher approach. We will see ♥♥♥

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omegastation · 2 years ago

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i used to react to stuff in the tag very quickly and impulsively - some of you may remember lololol - and i kinda worked on being a lot more chill and laid back (i also learned to block and not to take things too personally) but really, some people in fandoms are relentless with their bashing and hate. it's a cycle for sure & a very annoying one.

the main tag in general can be pretty wonderful and most people are as well, but the character bashing posts are so regular (like getting your newspaper every morning) and they're meant to be reaaaally unpleasant, it's not even a sort of "let's commiserate together" because the tone and the tagging make it clear what it's about. it has that edgy little way of saying that people have poor taste, like OP is going to explain life to us when in reality they're just being annoying.

and the more you acknowledge those people - like i'm doing now lololol - the more you give them reason to do it again. so every time i had a little fit because someone made a post about (topic), i just put more light on the topic. i get that now and try to counterbalance in my own little way, reblogging posts with characters people usually bash because i love those characters. getting excited about them in my tags is also a way of saying "see? not everyone dislikes them". i think a lot of us do that and it's been good to the fandom as a whole.

but yeah, i've been checking the main tag for years and i can say that it has less posts now because the franchise is where it's at, but the typical character bashing is still there, relentless like i said. i feel specifically for kaidan fans tbh and i get why we have a lot of reaction posts and defense squads.

#fandom critical

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memoirs-of-learning-dad · 2 years ago

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Wow, I'm such a b****. Rereading that last post, and it's almost like I'm on the brink of emotional cheating? Slandering my ally, my best friend, mother of my daughter? And for what exactly? Because she was having a rough day and didn't give me enough attention on my birthday? I mean I know I'm just here trying to put my emotions into words and it's anonymous, but all that I wrote last time is out there on the internet. And it is disrespectful to my wife and the integrity of our relationship. No, I need to correct it. To anybody who reads my posts and happens to have read the last one, about me crying like a little b**** about how I'm "giving", and the good guy, and all needy and self-absorbed and craving attention on my birthday, you have to know the other side of the story. I need to put the next part of that story out, and own up to how wrong and petty I was last time! Obviously, this one is going to be about some self reflection I guess and making things right. So please bear with me!

A big part of being a good parent is to understand and accept when you are wrong, unlearn those things and try and learn a new better way of doing that thing. Like, one example, my therapist addresses her SO as "partner" . It was new to me, and I immediately assumed she maybe had a non-straight (hope that's PC) relationship/marriage and that's why addressed her SO as "partner". Then, she talked about her kids, I thought, maybe she is actually in a straight marriage with kids! Now, that's interesting to my curious mind! English is not my first language, so I usually tend to address my SO as "wife", that's not the only reason though, is it? I grew up in a traditional family with a culturally patriarchal social system. So, there was this system of hierarchy or authority at home, an unwritten corporate ladder in a way. The father/husband/man-of-the-house was number one, the guy on top who makes the final call, who has the power to veto any other decision. Then there's the mother/wife/equally-responsible-for-proper-functioning-of-house-but-still-for-some-reason-number-2. I suddenly started thinking that, the word wife represents this outdated idea and family structure ... like it has a certain tone? or paints a certain picture in your mind? And I haven't even started talking about same sex marriages - husband and wife? Felt wrong on many levels! But "partner"? Yep that sounds perfect and complete and inclusive if you ask me. My wife/partner has an equal/a huge role to play in the proper functioning of our house, my daughter sees that, I want her to see that I see that, we need to acknowledge and appreciate it. Yes, she's my partner. We are 50-50 in everything.

Now with that out of the way, about my birthday, Tumblr gave me a nice gift on that day! Or rather the person who commented on my previous post! I am new to Tumblr and I don't know if I can tag you or something, but the person who commented on my previous post? If you're reading this one and have had the patience to read until here (lol) THANK YOU! Just knowing that someone out there actually read my long posts? AND connected and related with it, commented positive responses on it? I swear you brought a tear to my eye! Looks like I'm not absolutely alone in these day to day struggles?

Anyway back to the story, I slept after making that post, the next morning, I literally opened my eyes to my partner standing there with a big smile on her face wishing me "happy birthday". Yep, I was so happy, delighted even - but I just said thanks with a small smile and walked away, why? Obviously, the man-child in me had to throw a tantrum, and my bipolar a** had to escalate and drag the situation more than it was supposed to, right? Inevitable, no?

She went downstairs without a word, I went in for my regular read-stuff-on-phone-on-the-pot-for-40-minutes routine, and read the comments on my post. I took away quite a few things from just those few simple words, kind stranger.

you are right, about the giving and reciprocating thing being a personality trait, 100% agreed. I just made that woman joke to try and keep things light, I guess? I have been watching Bill Burr lately, maybe that influenced my humor a little, lol? Jokes aside, I agree with you, because I myself am not a very emotionally expressive person. Maybe my untreated illnesses or just being busy in the grind for making a better life and career, I guess I never properly paid attention to learning emotional regulation, healthy coping mechanisms, etc. I'm not that giving myself either - it takes me a lot to trust someone and be vulnerable with them. One week I'm all giving and all touchy and the next I'll not utter a word. But all that is changing - a combination of getting a proper diagnosis to understand my own behavior patterns, good medication, a good therapist and generally just a new perspective to life after becoming a parent, has grounded me and I'm trying to become more emotionally stable, cope better, manage expectations. With all that being said, I think I have to emphasize how kind of a person my partner is, how giving she is and how receptive she is. Yes, I was down and sad that she was distant, but it's the circumstances and not the person. There are a lot of factors for her to behave the way she did. Don't forget, she's the mother of a really hyperactive 2 year old who has serious strangers anxiety right now and is clingy to her mother all the time, until she sleeps! And over that, household chores, a high stress job, a man-child husband acting like a fool. Moreover, it's not my information to share, so to put it vaguely, her family has suffered a major trauma this year, so she still had some knowing bag days from that incident. And that kind of justifies her trying to be there for her sister. And it's not like she completely ignored my thing either. So, I guess it's ok for her to be checked out sometimes? This is on me - I knew all these facts and circumstances, but I was not consciously aware of them. That or/and me being a little self absorbed and excited in my own head about my birthday.

And yes, capitalism+job is a factor! But guess who she is working hard for? Our family. I know for a fact, that she wasn't sitting there working at 9PM after putting a 2 year old to sleep, regular household chores, because she wanted to. I wouldn't want her to quit or lose her job, I mean if she wanted to willingly quit, yes. Her income is important for us to provide the best possible future for our child. Hell I'm not even ashamed to admit, that her job, and in turn a consequence of capitalism and wealth is giving me a good life! We have both lived with literally bare necessities when we first moved to this country. We worked hard and have been tremendously lucky to be living with relative financial privilege now. She has worked really hard and deserves to be in this position, this career and she has every right to put in as much effort as she wanted and I should be supporting her, and I will! And again, selfishly admitting, her job is helping us live a better quality of life, and I like it and appreciate it.

Wow drifted away again, coming back to my birthday. After all the potty introspection and enlightenment I headed downstairs, and found her sitting on the sofa silently crying and trying to sort herself out as soon as she realized I was going to walk in. But I saw her. It broke my heart, always does. I walked over to her, and tried to console her. Over she was calm, I tried to express what I was feeling, again thanks to my therapist, I was able to have a really civil and calm conversation, express what affected me, listen, like really listen to what she had to say, her feelings and emotions, and we resolved our differences. Before therapy and medication, this was one of those situations which could easily blow up into a full blown argument or fight and me getting angry, oof! Toxic.. Untreated mental illnesses are hell, but with the right help and support and understanding people around (who love you unconditionally and support your, even though they are directly or indirectly constantly affected by the illness), everybody has a chance to live the ideal life they want to.

I asked her, if we should still go out? I mean should we just stay in and relax or something? Cool down? She said she had been planning for this day for weeks, so we got ready to leave. She asked me if she could get a hug, and I just felt like we should hold off until the end of the day - please don't misunderstand me. I wasn't being petty or mean or anything, I wanted that hug so badly. But all my instincts told me we should wait. She understood. Then we went out on this amazing drive, with beautiful scenes and sunlight and ocean breeze.. Then this hidden gem of a restaurant in the middle of nowhere, with beautiful waterfront views, just special. On our way back the moment arrived which just called for a hug, and that's it felt well earned, valuable and precious. Trying to put that feeling into words is impossible so I'm just going to leave it at that.

Obviously, paapu missed out on this, even though it was our date, lovers private time, we still felt guilty. So we took her out for dinner as well, and I just had such an amazing day. Nothing flashy or fancy, no parties, no surprises, no expensive gifts. Just valuable time with my girls. Especially the big one, we needed that, we both needed that.

So what is this post really about? Am I too emotionally fragile? Am I too immature for a 33 year old father of a 2 year old? Am I bad SO? Do I trip too much about unnecessary stuff? Am I a bad person for bad mouthing my soul mate? The only person in the world who knows me? My confidante? Or is all this just bipolar disorder? Or is all just normal? We have struggled a lot to be together, struggled a lot to stay together, because of both internal and external factors. We had to pass through so many storms, we have stuck with each other, out of choice - no matter what. To the point that our interdependence has become scary even, and then without any regard for all of that, I made an angry post about some silly birthday of mine. We are still going to have disagreements, and fights even, but try not to make her cry and cut down a little on narcissism? Anyway, to anybody who's reading this, what's your takeaway? Do you feel like punching me, or sympathizing or disappointed or just feel like "this guy is just having another normal day"?

What else? Obviously, I have to talk about the other girl - that little lump of joy? It's becoming a mean little girl. She's mean, dude! Toddlers are so mean. She has started to revolt now, freaking small person! How the hell are they so emotionally intelligent yet so utterly helpless? In case it's not already clear from my last few posts, I'm the parent who says no much more, so nowadays, whenever I say a stern no, she literally looks in my eyes and does that action - like wtaf! Like, she was taking out tissues from a box, I said take out just one please? She took out one. Then she reached in to get another one out, I called out and politely said "no! Didn't we agree that we will take only one?". The little meanie, looked right in my eye, and while continuously staring into my eyes, blank expression on her face, she reached into the box and pulled out as many papers as would come out. TWICE! Everybody says parenting is hard, talk about sleepless nights, physical exhaustion, moral dilemmas. But nobody prepares you for the simple fact, that kids are proper a-holes to their parents. I sincerely apologize for saying it, but it's true. They just want to see your breaking point for every small thing. Terrible twos? Ya, just started for me, and the signs don't look encouraging, but onwards we go, learning as the challenges come. Managed it till here, we'll see whatever comes next! Until next time!

#parenting #apology #self reflection #soul mates #family

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