#see the only piece of media i CAN write about for my entire life is yoi

[fazedlight]

Plummet (Cat's perspective on Falling)

Cat had started so optimistic. Kiera, finally dressing as an adult? It was a promising development for her executive-assistant-slash-vigilante, one that suggested the kryptonian could possibly grow a backbone in the near future. Goodness knows Kiera desperately needed to come out of her shell. 

Cat had ignored the… well, cattiness emanating from the blonde. A bit of cynicism would’ve been icing on the proverbial cake, had it not heralded something darker.

But when Siobhan marched proudly into Cat’s office, showing her the security footage of Supergirl letting a dangerous criminal go, Cat knew something more was going on. And this morning she used my personal elevator. Perhaps she’s truly lost her mind, Cat thought. “It could be another Bizarro,” Cat said to a disapproving Siobhan, “Put this under your hat until we figure out what’s going on.”

---

Kiera seemed to only get more haughty over time. “You’ve branded me in the media as a girl scout,” the kryptonian said bitterly. “Everyone knows real people have a dark side.”

Where is this coming from?, Cat thought. Psychotic break, brainwashing? Carter loved that old TV show with the star treks, and once spent an entire month talking about mirror universes. Was this an evil Kiera with an invisible goatee? “I fear that you're having some sort of mental breakdown,” Cat said, “Don't worry, it happens to the best of us-”

But Kiera snapped back. “You are the most arrogant, self-serving, mean-spirited person I know.” Tell me how you really feel, Cat thought to herself, but she had to admit that those words struck a little close.

But that hurt was very rapidly replaced by a more primal fear as the kryptonian approached her. “You want to see what powerful really looks like?” Kiera said, “Watch.”

---

They say your life flashes before your eyes. That’s not what Cat saw. Nor did she have a single coherent thought, other than Carter’s face and endless screaming.

Luckily for her, her assailant didn’t kill her. Cat collapsed inelegantly to the ground, turning back up in a panic as the scornful kryptonian stared down at her. “True power, Cat,” Kara scoffed, “Is in deciding who will live, and who will die.”

Somewhere in the back of Cat’s mind - a stray thought as she tried to calm her pounding heart - she understood. She has all this power, but she couldn’t save her planet. Kiera was just as frustrated at her own powerlessness; her history would be enough to cause anyone to have a psychotic break.

Unfortunately, it didn’t change what Cat had to do next.

---

“People are in danger,” she said to James and Winn, as she shared her plan for a televised broadcast on the kryptonian’s erratic and terrifying behavior, “The public needs to be warned.”

“Miss Grant,” James started, “Look, I am sure that Supergirl is going to be fine soon-”

“Can you guarantee me that the public is safe?”

James and Winn shifted guiltily. I know this isn’t her, Cat wanted to say, I know this isn’t who she is. But Cat couldn’t carry a death on her shoulders of someone who trusted Supergirl because of her words. And Cat suspected that Kara - if the girl ever recovered - couldn’t bear that guilt either.

But she hated every moment.

---

Is there any recovery from this?

Kiera had been a wreck at work that day, scurrying around the office with slumped shoulders and stressed eyes, avoiding Cat entirely. Cat supposed she was breathing easier now that Kiera was back to normal, but it still evoked the same question - What happens with Supergirl next?

As Cat walked into her office that evening - intent to pour herself a stiff drink - she was surprised to find a metal tube set on her desk, with a folded piece of paper propped up against it. “I’m sorry,” the letter read, in familiar loopy, feminine writing. “I wasn’t myself.”

Cat opened the tube, noting a strange green glow inside. Kryptonite, she realized, sighing internally at the thought of Kara entrusting her with this sort of protection. “I don’t want you to feel unsafe. If you want me to stop interacting with you, I will,” the letter read. Cat closed the tube, mulling again over her assistant’s state of mind. Sighing, she placed the tube in a drawer, pouring herself a drink as she had planned, before making her way to her balcony.

She shouldn’t have been surprised to see the super when she stepped out, but somehow she was. Kiera sat far from the door, quiet as she looked out onto the city lights. Cat knew the super must’ve heard her, but she didn’t face her - perhaps waiting for the sendoff she thought she deserved.

Cat stepped forward quietly, reaching the railing of the balcony. And that’s what gave Kiera the courage to speak. “I love this city,” she said solemnly.

Cat stood silently, listening to the kryptonian’s words - weighing the tender passion with the agonizing remorse. “What I did to you, Miss Grant-”

“Oh please,” Cat said, shrugging off. “I’ve base jumped Kilimanjaro, do you really think you scared me?”

Well, that was a lie, and they both knew it. “Okay, yes, you did scare me.”

“I scared the whole city,” Kara lamented.

“It’s not going to be easy,” Cat said. “But if anyone can win this city back, it’s you.”

Kara nodded gratefully, biting back unshed tears. “Can I just… stay here for a while?”

“Of course,” Cat said softly. 

In the soft breeze and the quiet night, the two looked back over the city, and wondered what was to come.

----------------------------------------------------

I found it a really weird writing choice that Kara never apologized to Cat - or didn't seem to understand the fear she must've instilled in her, after throwing her off a building - so I tried to fix it here. (I have thoughts on Kara's relationship with kryptonite, but I will spare this post of that ramble.)

[girlthingdecay]

.

[domokunrainbowkinz]

man it always sucks when you like remember a fic you started writing years ago for a fandom you're not in anymore but the idea was so Juicy that you still wanna write it but it's just uhhhh you literally cannot remember anything specific about the piece of media, just vibes

[starkwlkr]

Hahah the moms flirting with Charles. You should write a dad flirting with Ruby’s mom and she tells charles and he’s like wtf

you’re not my dad | charles leclerc

yes, the title is a vine reference 🧍🏽‍♀️

request #2: Could we please have return of baby leclerc, where she's out with her mum and a man starts to flirt with yn but he won't leave her alone and then Ruby is like she happy with my papa and then Charles notices and gets him to go away, pleasee and thank you, I love your work

Ruby loves Texas. She loves the food, the cowboy hats and boots she got to wear everytime she visited the state, but most importantly, she loves going to the hotel pool on a hot day.

It was a nice sunny day in Austin when Ruby woke up her parents demanding them to take her to the pool. It was media day for Charles so as much as he wanted, he couldn’t join his family for a pool day.

“Listen to your maman, be good and have fun for me, okay?” Charles pressed several kisses to Ruby’s cheeks.

“Okay, papa!” Ruby gave Charles even more kisses.

Charles said goodbye to his family, wishing he could skip every interview, but he couldn’t leave Carlos alone.

“Baby, which swimsuit do you want?” Y/n asked the girl, who overpacked. Ruby had practically stuffed her entire closet into her tiny princess suitcase.

On the bed laid two swimsuits, a pink and purple one piece. Ruby took choosing her swimsuit seriously. Pink was her favorite color, but purple was her mother’s favorite. She ended up choosing purple. After putting on her swimsuit, Ruby wanted to wear her goggles, arm floaties and her donut shaped floaty. She probably looked crazy with all her floaties on, but she didn’t care. She was ready for the pool.

Y/n was also in her swimsuit, but had on a pair of swim shorts over her bottoms. When they finally arrived to the pool, Ruby stopped herself from running since her mother had told her about the pool rules.

They found an empty table to put their bags on. Ruby patiently waited for Y/n to take out the sunscreen. To her it felt like forever, but eventually Y/n gave her the okay to enter the pool.

“I’m going to be a mermaid maman!” Ruby yelled as she jumped into the pool. She doggy paddled all over the pool with Y/n keeping a close eye on her.

“Maman! I can swim from here to there really fast! Watch me! Are you watching me?” Ruby called out to Y/n, who laughed at the little girl. She swam as fast as she could to one spot then turned to look at her mother. She didn’t expect to see a man talking to Y/n.

“Hi, there.” The man said to Y/n. “I’m Matt.” He introduced himself.

Y/n politely smiled and nodded. “Hi.”

“You visiting?”

“Sure.”

All Y/n wanted to do was enjoy a pool day with her Ruby Jules but this ‘Matt’ guy decided she needed some company.

From her spot in the water, Ruby noticed the frown on her mama’s face. She hated seeing her mama upset so she swam to the edge. “Mama.” Ruby spoke.

“This your daughter? She’s really pretty like her mama.” He said with a smile. “Hi, little girl.”

Ruby looked at her mama, who shook her head. But Ruby wasn’t letting this man ruin her day. No, they didn’t deserve to have their day ruined by some stranger.

“Only my papa can call me and my mama pretty. Sometimes my uncle Pierre calls me pretty, but you can’t.” Ruby replied, already giving her famous ‘Ruby glare’.

“Well your papa is a very lucky man.”

“Yeah, and he loves me and mama more! I’m telling papa.” Ruby said in a threatening manner.

“Hold on, I’m just telling your mama she’s a very pretty woman. No need to tell your dad about it.” The man tried to defend himself. From her seat, Y/n was enjoying Ruby make ‘Matt’ wish he didn’t come up to her.

“Papa calls us pretty. You’re not my dad.” Ruby said with the most serious face ever.

Matt, feeling scared for his life, apologized and excused himself. He walked away wishing he was anywhere else at the moment.

Y/n chuckled and got up from her seat. “You’re the best, my Ruby Jules.” She took off her swim shorts so she was just in swimsuit and joined Ruby in the water.

“Want to play mermaids?”

When Charles finally arrived, both Ruby and Y/n had showered and changed into their matching pajamas. They were currently watching The Lorax on the tv.

“How was the pool?” Charles asked Y/n as he joined them on the bed.

“Wonderful. Ruby, want to tell papa your favorite part?” Y/n asked her daughter.

“We played mermaids and I swam really fast and then some guy was talking to maman but I made him go away and then we came here and now we’re watching my favorite movie!”

“What?”

[markrosewater]

Hey Mark, I just wanted to say you've always seemed like a really cool guy. I've played magic for over 4/5ths of my life, since the early 2000s when I was only five years old, I even met most of my long time friends through it. But I think I finally feel alienated enough by it to drop it entirely.

I always enjoyed every aspect of this game, from the deckbuilding, to the flavor, to the color pie and the possibilities it presented. I loved the fantasy of it, of planeswalkers and wizards, dragons and castles.

Universes Beyond really was the end of it, all the way back then. When i heard the announcements I was terrified, I knew where it would lead even then. I loved the world of Magic, and it feels silly to say about a card game but I truly felt immersed in the world when I played, even with the different planes, everything cohered to an internal set of rules that seemed unbreakable.

For a while I continued, our local scene created a variant format that banned Universes Beyond cards so I was able to ignore them, but then came Neon Dynasty. It felt strange to me, like it was breaking what I had come to expect out of the game. Most people disagreed, said it was still Magic enough, but I wondered just how far it would be pushed before Magic lost any identity of its own, anything that separated it from Fortnite or any other crossover soup known entirely for the things it borrows rather than the things it is.

When I saw the first spoilers for Duskmourn, I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back. When I play at the table with my friends, I enjoy the fact that all the cards feel like part of one larger universe. And when I see cards with televisions and smartphones in them, with modern clothing and internet references, I just can't fit them together in my mind. It seems like a cool world, much like a lot of the crossovers are cool worlds, but I play Magic for well... Magic. If I wanted to play Fallout or Warhammer 40k, or watch Insidious or Walking Dead, then I would. But when I play Magic, I want to see magic.

And it's canon, just as canon as Innistrad or Alara. We can't excise it like we can Universes Beyond, and if we can't, then what's even the point of trying to "protect the tone" with those bans? What tone are we protecting, that's already been shattered from within?

More and more it feels like the game just isn't for me, doesn't want the kind of player that feels strongly about cohesion and immersion. And that's fine, it doesn't have to cater to me, and the current approach seems to bring in more people than it drives away. But it still just makes me sad, on a deep personal level, to give up on what has been such a major part of my life.

In all likelihood, I'm an outlier, and you could easily say that Magic getting even broader in what it covers is only a positive thing. Take my critiques only as the lamentations of a single person. But when you can put anything in a piece of media, when there's no unifying idea of what is and isn't possible, then it just starts to feel meaningless.

I'm sorry, I know you'll probably never read this, I mostly just needed to get it off my chest- and you're the closest thing to a human face Magic the Gathering has. Thank you for all the work you've put into it over the years, and I'm sorry that I can't enjoy it anymore.

Thanks for writing. From a big picture, Magic excels at creating variety and does poorly at consistency. The core idea of a trading card game is we make lots and lots of pieces you can play with and then you, the player, customize your game as you see fit. History has shown us, the wider we spread the potential of what Magic can be, the more people find something they enjoy and are attracted to the game.

Think of it this way. Each player has a different sense of what Magic is to them. There's no cutoff point where we make the majority of players happy. In fact, for many players, it's the ever-expanding quality to the game that they enjoy most.

This does mean though that we might make choices that don't connect with what you personally enjoy, and I respect that. If Magic isn't providing what you want out of it, that's okay. My only recommendation is don't get rid of your cards. Many Magic players rotate in and out of the game, and the number one complaint I hear from players who rotate back in is them having gotten rid of everything when they rotated out.

Magic might not be what you need right now, but maybe a few years from now you've changed in ways which makes it something you will enjoy. Or maybe Magic will evolve in a way that speaks to you. The only constant I know is you and Magic will both change. Just leave yourself the possibility of reconnecting.

Thanks for playing all these years, and I hope to see you again.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Ok regarding that “can i make Yves do my homework if I give him my childhood pictures” ask, exactly how much access does Yves have to our lives? Does he have images or videos from when we were still a baby or would they be new information to him?

A bunch of my baby pictures and videos are lost because my dad lost the computer that had them but we recently found my aunt’s old camera filled with our childhood pictures, it was a pleasant surprise for us but would it be for Yves too?

It absolutely is. If Yves was there with you while your aunt showed you the photo gallery of her old camera, Yves would momentarily lose a bit of inhibition and let his pupils dilate to a maddening degree before instantly constricting it back to appear normal. It's a rare, super deluxe edition photos of you, there isn't anything else like it out there as they're most likely not uploaded to the internet or a cloud based service, where he could easily hack.

Him coming across media from your childhood or at least during those early days where people still go to and get their photos developed, is like winning the lottery for him. Because, although he tries to collect everything relating to your existence, there is only so much he can do in a day. He rather prioritizes the present and the future, as the past is the past; neither you nor him can change it, he can only understand or connect it to your current behaviours or thought patterns.

He does have some information about you as a baby or a child, but that is if they're "readily available" to him. (I.e., it can be found in predictable places like in your childhood home.), that is why, Yves would try to build a good relationship with people you grew up with, to extract information.

Despite being reclusive as he is, Yves would never fail to attend every and any family gathering he is invited to or expected to come. Encouraging that drunk uncle to drink more if he knew he has something to say about you, bribing your relatives with gifts and career opportunities, perhaps even drugging that really difficult and combative cousin to make them more bearable to interrogate.

As soon as he knew your aunt could be another goldmine of your data, he would get to work. Wasting no time building a rapport with her, it's a piece of cake given how obsessive and manipulative his nature is.

Inevitably, your aunt will come to love him and see Yves as family. By extension, her relationship with you will skyrocket too, she will invite you to her place much more often even though she might not be the most sociable person in the first place. Yves will find a way to make her bend to his whims.

The majority of their conversations would be about you, only sometimes Yves would talk about something else if it meant he could keep the drive to spill more about your lore going. His sharp ears and mind will pick up on clues as to where he might find more pictures or writings about you. He would then break into your aunt's home to give it a thorough shakedown and leave without a trace. Yves would repeat this process until he's positive that she has nothing left to offer. That camera is getting fucking stolen and replaced with a duplicate.

It didn't matter if your aunt was a minimalist or a severe hoarder, he would go through all her things just to try and find pieces of your puzzle. He would wade through cobwebs, dust piles, rat droppings and mould if he had to, Yves isn't scared to get dirty to obtain what he wants, "squeamish" isn't in his vocabulary.

When she is robbed of all your essence, Yves would become distant. Not hostile towards her, just cold and indifferent. He would still maintain some sort of relationship with her though, in case she becomes useful again later. As of now, he either puts his entire focus on your current peripheral and direct life, or start to hunt other members down- from his snooping, he had learned of other people who may have valuable input about your childhood.

All of this is happening in the background. You wouldn't suspect a thing, there wasn't a dip in his attention for you. In fact, he may have gotten a lot more smothering, as Yves would be shaking at the thought of testing out his new theories and hypothesis that were birthed from his new knowledge.

He just loves you so much that he couldn't help himself but to get greedy. Yves wants all of you; past, present and future. And any version of you that could have been.

[theofficialpresidentofmars]

here’s a little piece I wrote inspired again by @strifentines ‘s Zuko-Azula roleswap AU! i’m posting it here because I can’t be bothered proofreading and posting on Ao3 rn

anyway I did this as a little creative writing exercise while procrastinating my media and statistics exam preparation. it’s an excerpt from the start of the S3 E16 Southern Raiders episode, my take on how I think it might go :]

———

The Western Air Temple was burning.

The Western Air Temple was burning, and Azula had woken to the sounds of three military-class Fire Nation airships firing explosives at them.

She didn’t have much time to assess the situation before the doors were closing, the room was shaking, and debris was falling from the ceiling, right above Katara.

“Move!” She knew the word wouldn’t register to the water tribe girl as quickly as it needed to, so she accompanied her command with a side tackle. The rocks hit the floor where Katara would have been standing if it wasn’t for her, but her rescuee didn’t seem entirely appreciative. Instead, Azula received an elbow to the side for her troubles.

“What are you doing?” Katara ungratefully yelled.

“Saving your life, genius.” At that, Katara rolled her eyes, which Azula supposed was all the thanks she was going to get.

“Life saved, you can get off me now.” Katara pushed herself up and out of Azula’s arms, not so much as offering to help her stand up.

Azula scowled. “Next time I’ll let the falling rocks crush you,” she bitterly replied, only half-sarcastically.

Behind her, the earthbenders were carving some sort of escape passage through the wall. She considered it for a moment, before her mind circled back to the three Fire Nation ships out the front.

They’re here for me. Why else would they be there?

The others were starting to flee through the passage, but Azula turned back, preparing to jump through a hole in the wall.

The Avatar’s voice rang out from behind her. “What are you doing?” So concerned, as always.

“I believe this is a family matter,” she responded. “Stay out of it, and I’ll meet you once I’m done.”

It didn’t sound like a happy silence, but Azula could hear from his footsteps that the boy had joined the others. She was expecting more resistance, more concern for her well-being, blah blah blah, but it seemed he was getting more used to her methods. Good. It was more efficient this way.

She vaulted over bent metal and jumped through an explosion, wrapping her bending around her, making it to the front of the courtyard. A fourth ship rose from the fog, carrying atop it a familiar passenger.

Wrapped in the royal regalia of the Crown Prince, hands wrapped around the railing atop the war balloon was her brother, wearing that stupidly creepy theatre mask. His hair was half up in a finely-crafted topknot, but the rest of it blew about dramatically in the wind. Azula half-wondered if it was a conscious choice, for theatrics. That entrance certainly seemed planned.

“Zuko,” she spat, keeping her voice loud enough to avoid her words being lost in the wind. “What do you want?”

Her brother laughed lightly, like a lilting melody, carried across the wind. It was not a genuine sound.

“Don’t worry Lala,” he almost sang, “I’m not here for you.” His tone was gently condescending, as if he were talking to a child who simply didn’t understand. It was infuriating.

It had also taken Azula a little aback to hear that he wasn’t here for her. If she was in any way disappointed by this, she wasn’t going to admit it to herself.

“Answer my question.”

Zuko sighed, and although Azula couldn’t hear it over the wind, or see his lips move to form it, she could tell because he’d used his entire body to accentuate the gesture. It was a habit he’d picked up from their mother, even if he didn’t know it anymore.

“If you must know, I’m going to capture the Avatar. If you don’t want to get blown up, I suggest you move now.”

Azula planted her feet into a solid stance. If he wanted a fight, he could come and get one. In return, her brother only sighed again.

“You make these things so needlessly difficult, sister.”

Zuko raised his hands and sent a brilliant burst of dazzling white light at her feet. She sidestepped quickly enough to avoid it, but the move had been meant as a distraction- and an explosion on her left sent her flying into a wall.

The ground beneath her began to crack, and Azula pushed herself up as quickly as she could. Around her, supporting pillars began to topple and fall.

She ran towards the crumbling edge, up the side of a titled beam, and threw herself over the edge, landing on the side of the balloon. She hadn’t managed to get a good grip upon landing though, and it only took a slight tilting of the vessel for her to slide off the edge, spiralling into a free fall.

To her eternal luck, she landed on top of another balloon, hidden beneath the fog. Azula looked up to see that Zuko had jumped down from his post, and was watching her rise up through the air. Her balloon stopped level with his, and she watched him take a step back- and then make a running leap through the air towards her position.

Towards her. She wasn’t thinking quick enough- and there was another white flash headed towards her face. She dodged, tucking into a roll, and returned with her own blue flame in a series of quick shots.

Zuko deflected them skilfully, and seemed to be preparing another attack. Azula knew she was at a disadvantage- these war balloons weren’t hers, she didn’t know where her allies were, and she didn’t know if she could take her brother in the state he was in- so her mind quickly flipped through a series of possibilities on how to avoid imminent failure.

Get him monologuing.

“Capturing the Avatar? Seems… beneath you.” Azula didn’t have to say much else, the implication was clear.

Zuko took the bait. He dropped his stance slightly, shifting to instead give her his

attention. He positioned himself in a way that would allow for the best vocal projection over the wind, rather than the best range for fiery attacks.

Azula couldn’t help but feel pleased with herself. Too easy. Even like this, I can read you like a book.

“My honour was called into question,” he began, making no attempt to hide a certain flavour of contempt in his voice. “This is how I can restore it.”

Azula couldn’t keep the shock out of her own voice. “Your honour? Your honour? What could you possibly-“

Zuko held up a hand, cutting her off.

Wow. Rude.

“You want to know what I, Father’s favourite child, could have done to warrant his displeasure.” Azula didn’t like that his tone of voice conveyed that he obviously expected her to know what it was, because she didn’t. She also didn’t like not knowing things.

“I wonder…?” he added, unhelpfully.

Azula was at a loss for words, which was a position she despised being in. Zuko took this moment to advance, taking measured steps forwards, hands behind his back like he wasn’t mere metres away from a fatal precipice.

“Father wasn’t too happy that you lied to him about what happened in Ba Sing Se. And he wasn’t pleased with my compliance in said… what was the word he used again? Treachery.”

Compliance? Please. Azula had only said that Zuko had fired the killing blow against the Avatar, and if her brother had chosen not to dispute that, whatever reasons he might’ve had, not one of them was treasonous. As much as she might like them to be.

No, her dearest brother seemed perfectly incapable of treason thanks to her father’s unethical interventions. She wasn’t even sure if he’d known what the word meant, anymore. Ozai knew that. And if he was really concerned about treason, he certainly wouldn’t have let Zuko remember it, much less live with the consequences.

Which meant that their father had sent the Crown Prince off on this silly quest purely because he wanted his son to suffer, and he wanted his son to remember suffering. To remember not being good enough.

Because even with all the mind control and conditioning in the world, Zuko could never be cleansed, in his father’s eyes, of the crime of simply being himself. He could be perfect, and still not good enough. Azula had once been foolish enough to be jealous of the attention he received from their father- bitterly though, she wondered if after everything, she was still somehow the favourite.

That was probably why Zuko hadn’t spoken out against the lie. Even as the gem of the Fire Nation, he still had to prove himself.

It might have been funny to her if her father had been anyone else, or if there wasn’t a scar on her brother’s face that he thought he’d given himself.

“You’ve got nothing to say to me?” His voice cut through her inner monologue. Azula looked up again, eyes meeting the forceful white of the mask.

“Take that thing off. I can’t hear you properly,” she commanded. It wasn’t particularly true, but it might help her case.

The smile in his voice made it seem like he’d been waiting for her to ask.

“Of course.” Carefully, and with both hands, Zuko lifted off the mask.

Spirits, he looks so much like our father.

Azula was not proud of her first thought, but he’d inherited the same sort of wicked smile, and the strands of hair he’d left undone framed his face in an uncomfortably familiar sort of way.

His eyes had once belonged to his mother, but they’d been empty for some time now, any trace of Ursa scooped out over a circling flame and scorched.

Azula had smiled when her brother was branded, regretted it since, but at that moment, she was almost glad for the scar- it broke the horrifying illusion and drew her mind back to the parts of her brother that were just that- her brother, and nothing else.

The next thing she’d noticed were the bags beneath his eyes, and the creases in his forehead that even a smile stretched far too wide couldn’t disguise.

Zuko looked terrible. He looked like the product of restless nights, of endless stress.

Not for the first time, Azula felt a pain in her chest thinking about how she’d left him alone in the castle with their father again after the eclipse.

But even still, he’d seemed fine on most other occasions she’d seen him unmasked. This seemed… rougher than usual. Rougher than she might even expect from only parental disapproval, even if that parent was the Firelord.

The third thing she noticed was how his scar seemed bigger than normal, etching its way down into his neck, fresher in some places than others.

“Do you like it? It’s beautiful, in some strange way. And it’s mine to keep.”

His words shocked Azula out of her trance. There was something strange about the way he said them, and it wasn’t just the implications of what he was actually saying.

“He doesn’t often give me gifts but this one’s here to have forever.”

It was then the diction clicked- Zuko was quoting something. Azula wasn’t sure what, but the rhythm and the barely hidden disgust-dripping irony in his voice suddenly made sense. It gave her the mildest relief that her brother hadn’t become a full-on sadist as a result of her father just yet.

“You’re staring.” Azula snapped her eyes up to meet her brother’s own uncovered pair. The very eyes his distorted smile never quite reached.

“You seem shocked,” he innocently observed. “What, you weren’t expecting this to happen?”

“It’s not your fault,” Azula blurted out before she could stop herself. It was a slip of emotion, and she immediately regretted it. But if Zuko was surprised at all by the sudden vulnerability, it didn’t show at all.

“I know,” he responded plainly, and surprisingly. “When Father gave this to me, he said that it was merely a consequence of my own actions, and that in that sense it was my own doing. But I know better than that. It wasn’t my fault.“

And then, something happened.

Zuko’s mask fell. Not the theatre mask that was hanging on his belt, but the mask he’d worn in place of his face for years. The one that Azula wasn’t sure could come off.

But in an instant, the creepy, uncanny smile of the Fire Prince vanished and was replaced by a scowl that seemed to reach into the depths of the soul, an expression of emotion that was actually real. It was visceral anger that felt right to look at on his features, if only for the fact that the brutality of the scar finally slotted into facial harmony. It was an expression that Azula had known on her brother as a child, when she’d stolen his snacks, or burnt his toys, or pushed him over, or anything of the sort. It was the kind of emotional reaction that was tended to with love and care by their mother, punished by their father, and suppressed by years of brainwashing. It was achingly familiar, and it somehow felt like home in a way that nothing had for years.

Azula’s breath was snatched away by the sight of her brother, her actual brother.

“It was yours.”

The anger was, as always, directed at her.

“You told Father about Ba Sing Se. You turned him against me, and you left me alone to deal with it. This is the result of your actions.”

And then almost as quickly as it had left, the mask reappeared. But something was… wrong with the way it was put back on. Like it had been dropped, and Azula could still see something shifting through the cracks. Beneath the horrid sterility of everything else.

“I’m not going to hold it against you, if you were worried about that,” Zuko offered, unconvincingly. “I know you weren’t thinking about what would happen to me when you angered Father on the Eclipse.”

His eyes narrowed. “No, you weren’t thinking about me at all.”

Azula had no words to defend herself with. She was still stunned, and couldn’t bring herself to even so much as move. Her brother unhooked the theatre mask from his belt, and moved to put it back on.

“That’s why you’ll never be Firelord, Lala,” Zuko concluded, matter-of-fairly. “You don’t think ahead. You don’t think about anyone else, either. It’s all about you in your little world, and when you ruin lives, you leave, and never look back.”

Then he leant in, until his mouth was only a finger’s width away from her ear.

“Mom would be proud.”

Somehow, the very words she’d wanted to hear her whole life were twisted into something that cut into her with the same pain as a small knife to the abdomen.

For once in her life, Azula couldn’t even think straight. Her brilliant mind conjured blank after blank.

She didn’t even notice she’d been kicked until the balloon disappeared from beneath her and she was falling, falling endlessly through the clouds.

She hit something with a softer impact than should have been possible from that height. Her vision swam as the clouds continued to rush around her, as if she was still falling.

“Are you okay?” A young boy’s voice. There was a face and a name that she couldn’t place in the moment.

“She’s fine. She’s still breathing, right?” Snarkier, female.

“She’s clearly not okay.” A third, male, older. “She looks like she’s in shock. And she hasn’t insulted us yet.”

“With any luck, it’s permanent.” The second one again.

“Katara!” Number three. Number two was Katara.

Her senses began to come to her, and Azula wiped away a traitorous tear that she hadn’t realised she’d shed.

“Are you alright? Did you get hurt?” The Avatar. Aang. He was looking at her with big eyes. He’d given her the opportunity to leave with them, he’d been right, and he wasn’t rubbing it in her face. He was never going to.

Azula shook her head, numbness starting to give way to a self-inflicted rage at the next few tears to desert her eyes.

“My brother,” was all she managed to say.

———

and then I remembered my exams are the day after tomorrow and stopped there. 2698 words

[askew-d]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "askew-d "?

hello, there! sorry for the long wait, i forgot to check my notifs :( i will do better next time. thank you for this question! i feel like i’ve waited ages for someone to ask me exactly that, lol. i could talk about well-written fanfics forever!! can i give you a hug? because this is wonderful, really.

let’s go for it! my range of fanfiction that i enjoy vary, but one thing remains: i will adore your fic, no matter the fandom, if it’s written with passion and if it contains good, poetic introspection. i love poetry. for me, if there’s melancholic tropes of any kind i’m into it. immortal character and reincarnation? give me now. supernatural elements or slice of life with doomed narrative? i’ll ignore sleep to read it. angst with happy ending? my endgame, for sure.

however, i also adore silly, comedic, cute pieces of domestic life or otherwise. i had a hard time choosing from my bookmarks for this, and i also reviewed some of my favorites, it was fun. before we continue, here are some of the tags that i don’t dive into for whatever reason: porn without plot (it personally just doesn’t interest me at all), non-con, gore, a/b/o dynamics, soulmates au. sorry if you were hoping for it! i’ll try classify them into an order of what i like most.

1. jellyfish, by mystery twin, for the haikyuu!! fandom — i read this when i was finishing high school and coincidentally the story talks about finishing high school! i have a personal attachment that makes me reread it every year. it’s some sort of tradition at this point. not to mention i love kagehina dearly.

2. teen project to change the world, by animeloverhomura, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — respectfully speaking, i would find this author and give them a big hug. their writing is spetacular! if you've never seen this one and you're into mdzs, know it's a story where the characters get to see every event from the novel and donghua, even the dead characters. they watch wei wuxian journey, can you believe it? so goddamn entertaining. promptly waiting for the next update!

3. a hundred or so hellos, by iwillstillopenthewindow, for the haikyuu!! fandom — remember i said i love melancholic stories? well, this one broke me so hard, i had to mention how i hold it with tenderness (we love things that breaks us, dont we?). this fandom manages to write the cutest, most unhinged things sometimes. even it's an anime about sports. i always get amazed by it.

4. no certainty of doors between us, by betts, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — certainly the most silly little fanfic i've ever seen, it's hilariously sweet. i want everyone to read this masterpiece because, seriously, whoever did this deserves only the best. so, so, cute. it had to be in my top 10!

5. their kindred encounters, by fireflavoredwhiskey, for the untamed rpf fandom (bjyx) — you know those kinds of shows, books, any piece of media, that tears up apart? well, this one was it for me. it's a very famous one that deserves all praise, certainly well-written and enjoyable to the core, with doses of angst, romance and beauty overall.

6. as the clouds part and clear, we finally meet again, by 12262325, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — aaaaa, i was truly torn between putting this in the third or fourth place, but i ended up putting it here. come on, i love an age difference kind of story, especially for wangxian, and this one was perfectly done. sweet and funny. the development? the yearning?? outstanding!! i read this many times already, i'll never get tired.

7. pursuit, by emleewrites, for the haikyuu!! fandom — mystery, romance, lawsuits, poker games, adventure, slice of life, AMAZING depictions and so, so goddamn well-written? that's what you're looking for in any fanfiction. the author dedicated herself entirely for this story, and, like i said, i love stories that are written with passion, you can see it pouring through every paragraph. besides, highly entertaining. i'm not very into long fics, but once i started it off, i couldn't stop. that's how addicting it is.

8. linger by the door (i’ve always been yours), by piecrust, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — epistolary?? have i mentioned how i love it?? some of the phrases in this are gold, in my bookmarks you can check some of them (i ought to make a list of my favorite fic quotes, btw, i will sure do it). through each letter i could comprehend more of wei wuxian's feelings and his internal conflict. i love feeling this connected to a character.

9. all the world is ours to take, by khrys, for the fugou keiji fandom — i have more than one favorite fanfiction for this couple. you know these kinds of developing relationship where the transition from (maybe enemies too) friends to lovers happens so smoothly that it feels like they've been soulmates first and foremost at the end? i don't even know how to explain. i just love how, when they finally are together, it's like they've been together for years. and they just... made it official? i like it. i love my mr. kambe haru.

10. he won’t tell you that he loves you, by hellshandbasket, for the house m.d fandom — i found this to be the most fitting, perfect story for this specific couple. they deserved more stories like this, but we dont see it anymore. i would hightlight the feelings realization in this one, that is so fucking real? haha in any case, it's a fanfic that i enjoyed a great deal.

that's it, i guess! i wanted to add link click fanfics also, however i barely started reading fanfictions from its fandom, i'm drowning in it lately but it's just a start. perhaps very sooon!

oh, i’m gonna finish explaining about the name! in my native language, i’ve heard someone tell me before that ‘life’s a little askew, nothing’s ever perfect’, and that quote remained in every biography of any english website i ever went to. then in literature class someday i had to write about historical women and came across this one named anne askew (i wanted to write about the mostly barely-spoken women). it was the second time i saw this word. i didn’t think of it as a proper name before, but then i had to create a nickname for my ao3 profile and thought, humn, why not just ‘askew’? the quote has been engraved in my heart anyway, so i went for it. we’re all flawed and askew. so, yeah, it just… fit? the ‘d’ here on tumblr it’s only because my surname has a ‘de morais’ in it. i also liked that it resembled ‘alaska’, the john green character i was kinda of obsessed with back in my teenager grunge phase. i don’t like these kinds of books anymore, but i guess some details stay with you. do you think it’s weird? never thought of changing.

thanks for this outstanding ask, it certainly entertained me. and hope you have a nice sleep today, big hugs coming your way! 🤍

[lavend-ler]

BORDERLANDS: DEBT OR ALIVE BOOK REVIEW

I have read the new Borderlands book Debt Or Alive. I did not like it. In fact, I hated it so much I needed to pour out my thoughts in this review. It’ll be very long, so bear this in mind while reading through it because it’s been a while since a piece of media has made me this angry.

There will be spoilers to ALL of the book so you’ve been warned. I am going to analyze this book very thoroughly so everything that can be spoiled will be spoiled.

TL;DR – I hated this book. I accept Borderlands 3, I think it’s fine and I really like aspects of it. I wasn’t enthusiastic about New Tales From The Borderlands but in the end, I thought it was fine. But Debt Or Alive? It’s probably the only piece of Borderlands media that I won’t consider canon from this point forward. Half-assed story with shallow characters and ham-fisted message which retroactively ruins the events of the game(s). Don’t buy it, don’t waste your time on this just to see the worst version of characters you love.

A more detailed review will be under the cut. It’s over 10k long.

1. Tales From The Borderlands made even worse

I have a complicated relationship with Tales From The Borderlands. I think my best friend had put it in the best way – Tales From The Borderlands is good when you don’t think about it for too long. For me, it’s a fun game to play once every 4 years, remember the story and move on. The more you think about it, the more apparent the cracks get and the worse it becomes.

Debt Or Alive REALLY makes you think about Tales From The Borderlands in the worst way possible.

I have always thought that Fiona’s part of the story is weaker than Rhys’. It’s told in a way that sort of meanders until it’s reached its conclusion. The first sin Debt Or Alive commits is that the ending of Tales is its beginning. What should be the conclusion, the nice ribbon to tie the story is now the jumping off point. In my opinion, it’s always a terrible narrative decision to make your sequel start where the story left off. It always implies the fact that your conclusion is meaningless and that your characters didn’t learn anything. To write a new story, you need more challenges which also means that characters need new struggles. In Debt Or Alive’s case, it means that everything that happened in Tales isn’t worth a thing.

To me, nothing was more apparent of it here than the Vault scene. The Vault of the Traveler grants a wish to everyone who steps there. The Vault should be the conclusion to what we know of the characters and sort of “off screen” this happens to Rhys. We see Fiona hear that Rhys wishes for Atlas and that’s the end of his story in Tales. Though I will touch upon why I didn’t like this later, it does make narrative sense, he was supposed to be more independent and choose his own path instead of following others. It’s a ribbon that ties to his character in Borderlands 3 and New Tales From The Borderlands.

Then it’s time for Fiona and… Oh, yeah. What would SHE wish for? Throughout Tales, we see Fiona evolve as a character from the ragged con-artist who wishes to just go by, to the independent and certain Vault Hunter. Or do we? Yes, there is a moment in which Sasha dies which would be traumatic for Fiona but she’s from Pandora. She should know the dangers of living and instead, she should be happy that she came back as the hero. In the ending of Tales, we can hear Fiona say “This [Vault hunting] life…suits me” so she already reconciled the danger and in fact, she welcomes it. But to make this half-assed story be a thing, we have to disregard this entirely.

So in the Vault, Fiona is given a chance to wish for anything she wants. What does she wish for? Nothing, actually. Presented with an opportunity of a lifetime, Fiona has no idea what to wish for. I can’t even begin to tell you how bad of either an opener or an ending this is for her character. For an opener, we have a protagonist who doesn’t know what she wants and where she needs to go. Sure, it’s a start for an arc but not for Fiona who already DID have it. It’s an arc she had earned, so why would she have a restart and go through this all over again? And as an ending, it’s a terrible reminder that Fiona probably didn’t learn a thing. The time in the Vault was for nothing, Athena didn’t teach her anything. Burch doesn’t know his character well enough to think of anything for her to wish for.

Hence the whole journey moving forward truly is just a bad rehash. If Fiona didn’t learn a thing about herself and needs to do it again but worse, what’s the point of this story? To see her come to the same conclusion as she did at the end of Tales but worse? The answer is yes. As this story suggests Fiona is a protagonist who doesn’t know what to do with her life and just wants to protect her sister and that’s all. Which is the exact same point her character was at, at the beginning of Tales.

Actually, why did the Vault have to grant wishes, anyway? It doesn’t make sense for neither Fiona nor Rhys and even later, Gaige cements that this didn’t have to be the case. Part of the charm which Tales From The Borderlands brought was the story of everyday people. This wasn’t a story of glorious Vault Hunters with great stamina and luck, who chose the adventure for the guns and glory. This was a story of a middle manager and a con artist, two unremarkable people who were basically forced onto this adventure from outside forces and because of their will became heroes of their own stories. It’s a story of normal people who have made their own self-made destiny.

Debt Or Alive, of course, scoffs at this idea. Rhys’ Vault wish for Atlas makes no sense as he already has Atlas and already probably works under this trademark. It doesn’t mean a thing that he wishes for the whole legal action thing, when his character progression to have Atlas from Jack would be so good. But no, it’s cosmic power that grants him that wish fully. Fiona too, she was supposed to be a self-made Vault Hunter but in the end (or the beginning), she rejects this and doesn’t know what to wish for. Just an absolutely horrible way of planning out her character. No one wants a passive character and this is what this story makes Fiona to be – a bystander, rather than an igniter.

I also want to point out that the events of Tales and characters she meets are truly nothing but cameos. A big part of Fiona’s story was gaining independence when her father figure Felix turned out to be a snake who sold them out. Within Tales, it’s very clear that Felix was abusive towards Fiona and Sasha, forcing them into roles they didn’t want, favoring Fiona and making them live such a strict life, they thought it was the best they could get. Of course, none of this is ever touched upon in Debt Or Alive. It’s never mentioned that Fiona is an abuse survivor and how it would shape her as a person with her protectiveness and willingness to give up greatness for simply “good enough”, and being held to impossible standards. There are also barely any mentions of Athena and their time together. At no point does Fiona use tactics she had learnt from Athena or recounts their time. Those are passive mentions which make Fiona look like she didn’t learn a thing.

My own ribbon that ties this section will be the funniest thing that for me exposes how much Tales is made worse. Tales From The Borderlands is a game in which choices DO NOT matter. There are no consequences and each choice will yield the same outcome. Again, it’s just meaningless and it’s so funny to me that this book wants to wink at the audience becoming a “choose your own adventure” book in two sections, which both lead to the same result. It truly does not mean a thing.

2. Anthony Burch cannot write women and Fiona’s character assassination

Anthony Burch cannot write women. This is a fact that I wanna point out every single time I can because it was never more apparent to me than in this book. Let’s start with women in Borderlands and the stories which he had written for them. Maya has a good theme but falls flat when she’s only an object for Kreig to lust over. Nisha is Burch’s sexual fantasies coming true in a gross way. Athena in Tales is made only stone cold, no-fun character who is a liar to someone who loves. Janey in Tales is made to be an overbearing girlfriend trope but it’s progressive because she’s a lesbian. Vallory is a collection of tropes. So on and so forth.

Hence right from the beginning, I was very skeptical of a book by Burch which will have the most female-driven cast in all of Borderlands. My skepticism was proved not only to be right but also that it was much worse than I had realized. Because I haven’t even shown you the issues of Fiona and Sasha and trust me, there are some even in Tales. However from Tales I could very easily tell you what character traits Fiona and Sasha have and what differentiated them.

Fiona, as described in Tales promotional material is a con-artist with a heart of gold. She has been raised on streets, she loves money and she has a silver tongue to get out of every situation she’s in. Fiona also cares about those she loves a lot, as an older sister she can get overbearing but her situation in life made her realize that it’s justifiable. She can also be a nerd, she’s curious and fun, likes to joke around. Sasha is a character who loves danger far more than Fiona. She likes guns and has great knowledge of them, she’s more a doer than a talker. Sasha doesn’t want the con life and longs for something tangible, rather than just be a prize in the books. She also has an inferiority complex, due to Felix’ abuse which she masks with her forwardness and action personality. She shines through when she can do things she loves, becoming headstrong, honest and independent.

Do you really think we’ll get any of this in this book?

The answer is no and it’s very easy to tell it right from the start. I know I keep getting back to the Vault scene but trust me, this is the culprit from which I knew this book will be a failure. In this scene, Fiona doesn’t know what to wish for, so she “wishes” that Sasha was there. This wish is granted and it’s now both sisters in the Vault. From this you can see the issue – this book does not treat Fiona and Sasha as separate characters. They ALWAYS have to be together, always mention each other, they’re basically never given a room to breathe because whenever a scene calls for just Fiona or just Sasha, their internal monologue will keep mentioning the other.

I can’t even really make a case for either of the characters individually because this book itself makes such a bad case with them. I’ll give it my best shot because when these moments occur they are, well, bad. I’ll start with Sasha because I have less to say since the book itself had less to say about her too. There is a certain moment in which Sasha, being tired of Fiona’s carefulness, goes Vault hunting with Gaige. I was very happy at this, since I have shipped Sasha and Gaige before and I thought their personalities would mesh well. Yet, in this particular instance, Sasha isn’t enjoying anything regarding Vault hunting and the danger, while constantly thinking of Fiona. Why is that, why wouldn’t she be thrilled for the adventure and getting to know another person like Gaige more? They could bond and start a friendship but in the end, they barely talk and Sasha isn’t into it. Even guns don’t excite her that much. What happened to her?

I think even her reflections towards life after death are very much shallow and omitted. We get a sense of it, we get that Sasha is terrified that there’s nothing when she dies but we’re not given anything of it. I figured this would be her turning point, that Sasha will realize that if there’s nothing afterwards, it’s best to live her life to the fullest, going on adventures, not wasting chances. But nothing like this has happened. Sasha doesn’t enjoy Vault hunting, she shrugs at guns, she can’t have her own fulfillments, her relationship with Rhys is wishy-washy. You’d think that with sudden realization of death, Sasha would have a breaking point and start thinking if it’s all worth it and how her life should now be like. But that would require interesting philosophical questions that Burch doesn’t want to answer. Not when they lose the life-giving crystal, nor when Sasha dies a second time when she chooses to. It’d be such an interesting discussion of the meaning of life, how Sasha approaches life and what it all means to her but no. Not given any thought to this. At the end it’s not even unique to her as Fiona dies and is brought to life too so again, no point.

Another faucet to her character is the on and off relationship with Rhys and just… I was never a fan of shipping Sasha and Rhys together and this book reminded me of it in the worst possible way. Sasha is disinterested with Rhys’ world and they never mesh well together, having such different goals in life. She doesn’t even want to acknowledge their relationship, leaving Rhys to look like a sad wet sock (more on that later). It’s described how she’s used to acting a certain way and that’s fair, that’s a huge roadblock in a relationship. But we never see this roadblock get pushed. Sasha at the end of the book is still terrified of the potential relationship and doesn’t want this. We only learn that one time she calls him her boyfriend off screen, which is just such a cop out I can’t begin to describe it. I’m so sorry, Sasha, you deserve an actual relationship not just Burch’s fantasies.

So I move to the main character of the story, Fiona. And oh god, how badly has Burch treated Fiona, words cannot describe it but they will try. From the beginning, we see one of Fiona’s traits be amped up to 11 – her protectiveness which turns into overbearingness. Constantly, we are reminded that Sasha died and Fiona can’t forgive herself. Which is fair but again… We saw her happy and fulfilled at the end of Tales. But since Tales doesn’t matter and probably it’s better if it didn’t exist, it gets shrugged off. May I remind you, this book starts right as Tales ended. Which is a year later from the start. Which means Fiona is 30 and Sasha is 25. Their actions do not portray two characters of this age, especially Fiona’s towards Sasha’s.

Look, I’m 24 and I have a sister who’s 33, so close-ish range to them. If my sister would do the things that Fiona did to Sasha I would be pissed off as all hell because guess what, my adult sister does consider me an adult woman. Unlike apparently Fiona and Sasha. Because for Sasha’s “safety” Fiona puts her into a fucking jail on a planet they do not know, just towards her “safety”. Yes, it’s regarded as dumb and wrong in the book and that Fiona knows that Sasha would pull through but it’s just mind boggling to me that Fiona would even do that. She should know her sister. But then throughout the book we see Fiona acting like know all be all authority to her, constantly second guessing her actions and opinions and being completely overbearing. I’m sorry but her apology at the end doesn’t make it remotely okay to be so controlling of Sasha.

I guess that’s the point. In my opinion, this book is a character assassination for Fiona. People will whine and moan over how Rhys got ruined in Borderlands 3 and New Tales but no, I had and will always disagree with this. But Fiona in Debt Or Alive? Burch truly showed how he has no clue how to write female characters because she is completely ruined here. None of her actions make sense, neither do her choices, the little character she has is so unlikeable and I just can’t believe he thought it was all good.

The best way to show you how Fiona got ruined is to have a little overview of Fiona as a character before and her background. She is a Pandoran, born and “raised” there, through the life of crime and bribery. Her biological parents died, she only has Sasha with her. Thus she feels responsible for her and their wellbeing. Fiona also had Felix, a man who brought her and Sasha with him and raised them in a very abusive manner. Fiona all her life had lived in poverty, struggling to get by with her cons, constantly having Felix make her think she’s responsible for the failures or successes of the group all on her own. She lived in a caravan, she barely had any money to her name. She’s no stranger to the climate and cruelty of Pandora, having lived there all her life, though she herself prefers the “word” combat.

Got it? Well, now forget it because that’s what Burch did in his book.

I know that wealth can change people, I really do and the sum of money Fiona and Sasha received is enormous. What I don’t understand is that they both did a complete 180 on their perspectives. I do realize that living in poverty all their life, Fiona would start spending money on dumb things but to hammer home this fact, Burch tries really hard to show us how dumb some of the purchases are. But would she really act like this in this setting? First, it’s hard for me to believe that she would willingly move to Eden-5, seeing the corrupted system and life in which it operates. It’s just Pandora but with chrome paint on it. Yet, Fiona doesn’t see red flags and just continues on living, buying dumb shit. We don’t learn anything new about her through this either, it’s just a dumb thing after dumb thing. Why couldn’t it start with things that she really wanted and then move on to unnecessary things? I think it’s because Burch couldn’t even establish what her wishes would be from Pandoran times.

What also made me just want to throw this book away was that it took Fiona around 200 pages to realize that people who work for her are also bound by debt. It’s such a nearsighted thing, I cannot believe that she would do it. Especially since I think we’re led to believe that this book happened in the span of 4-5 years. For Fiona to be this bound by greed and wealth doesn’t fit her character at all. How could she just not see that people who work for her have been tortured by poverty? Up until this point, Fiona lived in poverty herself, she should KNOW that this is a thing people struggle with. Not to mention, in the book there are talks about how people have multiple debt cuffs on them. It’s unacceptable that Fiona wouldn’t care about those who were beneath her. And if she really did, do you think this makes her character any more likable? And do you think that her turn around is a moment of triumph when we’re led to believe she ignored those people for YEARS?

I think the story itself just makes you shrivel at one moment in particular. Fiona purchases a sapphire kitten, which shatters. Classic Borderlands humor, right? This moment truly disturbed me but not in a way that Burch wanted but for the implications. Fiona spends money on bullshit she doesn’t want just to have it. Who else spent money on unneeded bullshit just to show wealth? Handsome Jack. And when you’re comparing your hero to the most vile villain from the series, I don’t think it’s a good sign. Especially since in canon Handsome Jack loved and cared for Butt Stallion. Unlike Fiona.

Even the breaking point moment of Fiona, the destruction of Rustville, felt shallow. Reading this, I couldn’t help but to go back to the moment of Helios’ destruction in Tales. It was such an incredible moment for Rhys, seeing the destruction of a place that was close to him, death of people who he knew and respected. And seeing this “reprise” of sorts with Fiona just felt shallow. At this point, Fiona was in Rustville around 3 times if I can recall? She met people but didn’t form any meaningful relationships (because Burch doesn’t want either of the sisters to have meaningful relationships besides each other) or got to know anyone better. These were all one off interactions with random people. Unlike Rhys, it wasn’t Fiona’s choice to destroy Rustville. It was only an act that she maybe sort of allowed to happen but it was an action of one rich woman. Fiona had no agency in her actions, there was nothing she could’ve done to neither prevent it nor cause it. Thirdly, Fiona is a Pandoran. She should know the carnage, death and destruction, as it is ingrained in Pandora’s system and society. For her to act so devastated and shocked, it simply doesn’t make sense.

Another thing is that this story really dumbs Fiona down, to the points that I couldn’t comprehend how dumb she was. She goes alone to Tetanus Wilds, even if with Sasha she’d have more chances. Especially since she was going to Gaige’s stash and let’s be real – Sasha knows guns, Fiona does not. Fiona goes to destroy Rustville without any weapons and without any protection which of course results in her basically getting killed. Fiona takes a leap of faith thinking she’d die in the ditch but forgets that Deathtrap can fly and catch her. How would she forget if she was tinkering with him before? The same way she’d forget her weapons it seems.

I also wanted to mention how it always made sense to me that Fiona and Sasha would have a falling out in some part of the story, so both of the sisters would become independent and chase their own destinies. It would require Burch to stop thinking of them as a singular character, which does not happen. This part in particular made me especially angry. A skilled writer would make Fiona’s overbearingness and constant promises to be a start of Sasha realizing she needs to live her own life, Fiona as well. Anthony Burch is not a skilled writer so nothing of such happens.

Within Debt Or Alive we don’t learn anything new regarding neither Fiona nor Sasha. We are spoon fed information that we already know, seeing characters we love either devolve to their pre-Tales state or make terrible, nonsensical decisions. There are no moments in which  either of the sisters can breathe on their own. They are thrown into situations where something just has to happen. Thus, we don’t learn anything about them as people.

I also want to point out that the writing of Gaige is fine. I’ll talk more about this later but she truly was fine and I didn’t see issues with how her character was carried. Granted, I think it’s very hard to screw up writing Gaige but it’s Burch, he can do it all. I’m still sad that she’s a lonely outcast like in Borderlands 3 but in general, I didn’t have issues with either her writing or the story.

3. There will never be another Handsome Jack and the death of a good villain

Some of you have already started to roll your eyes at the mention of Handsome Jack but trust me, I have a point here to make. Whenever you hear people talk about Handsome Jack a special kind of sentence emerges – a villain you love to hate. I think this sentence is a great guide to creating your villain so that they’re impactful, fit the story, be likable enough to want to be with them but you’re happy when you get to kill them. And nothing made me feel like it’s a craft long gone than reading Debt Or Alive.

Countess Holloway is a nothing villain. She truly doesn’t represent anything and I can’t tell you anything of what she is as a person. Actually, it can boil down to one sentence – she’s rich and she’s evil. That’s all there is to her character but I guess it goes to show that even then, Burch cannot write women.

Going a little deeper, we gotta discuss the parts that make a good villain. I’m sorry for the comparisons to Handsome Jack but we really need to talk about what makes him great and what makes Holloway shallow.

On the surface level, the points are there. A villain needs to be connected to your heroes in a specific way, having an impact on their lives. Holloway does meet that quota, as she’s not only the motor for this story but also is actually the reason why Fiona and Sasha got rich in the first place. She is a vain person, who loves to live for shallow things and doesn’t care about the rest. From this point of view, we could think that Holloway serves as a reminder to Fiona and Sasha of “be careful who you can become” but neither of them have this revelation. Throughout the story, Fiona and Sasha basically do turn into Holloway, yet nothing of it is neither stated nor explored. It’s not a revelation that characters have, it’s what we think when we connect the dots.

When we start to think more, it all begins to fall apart. The key thing that lacks here is motivation. Looking back at Handsome Jack, it was clear how his goals were stated – he was a nobody who became somebody by his charisma and cunning ways. Now he projects his awful world views on others and it’s your job to stop him. There’s also the fact that his daughter Angel works for him and killing her for Jack is the breaking point. You see him be cruel, vain and abusive but you see his more “human” side that does not excuse his actions (I am looking away from Tales) but makes you understand how much of a terrible person he is and how he deserves to die. It’s effective and fantastic storytelling and his personality makes you want to be around him, even if he’s an awful person who deserves to die.

Let’s go back to Holloway and examine her as I described the traits of a good villain via Jack. Holloway’s motivation is that 7 years ago Gaige murdered her daughter Marcie and now she wants revenge on her. This is already a problem, as this is a passive goal. Holloway is presented as an arrogant woman who doesn’t like to get her hands dirty, hence she can’t kill Gaige on her own. Understandable but also she doesn’t seem very interested in it anyway? She wants to kill Gaige but passively. There’s a bounty on Gaige but Holloway doesn’t have a squad to look after her. Wouldn’t it be more interesting if Holloway had people looking for Gaige and when they die she swiftly replaces them with another one? It would be active but instead we’re presented this information as “well, maybe Gaige dies or maybe she doesn’t, idk, it’s alright either way”.

Another point is that Holloway is a very shallow character. In general, yes but in her actions too. What do we really know about her? She is rich, vain, vengeful, powerful and likes to spend money on frivolous things. Sure but that’s so basic you could tell this about so many other villains it wouldn’t make a difference. There is nothing in her nor in her behavior that would be an indicator of any interesting persona or character. Holloway just exists and we’re told that she’s evil. Wonderful character writing, gotta say.

We’re introduced to Countess Holloway in a way that she is the potential buyer of the Typhon DeLeon Vaultlander figure. Why would she want this? We’re not told nor shown. Thinking of it logically, we could say that it’s supposed to show us that Holloway likes to spend money on whatever bullshit she wants, which is fair. But wouldn’t it make it more sense if after the death of her child, Holloway became obsessed with Vault Hunters, knowing the murderer of her child became one? How did she start researching stories of Vault Hunters and think about how much she hates them, which would lead to her gaining knowledge? This way, Holloway could’ve been prepared for the attacks of Vault Hunters and Vault Hunter wannabes, since she would predict it all. Or even set a lure with a promise of amazing loot. Nothing like this happens.

Even the death of Marcie isn’t exactly a driving point to Holloway. When Angel dies in Borderlands 2, you see the impact it has on Handsome Jack. You know he’s an abusive parent yet even within this, he still acts as sort of father of the year type and constantly manipulates you, saying this is your fault. For Holloway, it seemed that the death of her child just happened and yeah, she’s pissed but you know, things happen. She doesn’t mention who Marcie was, even in her shallow understanding of it. It could’ve made a very interesting character bit where she would tell lies about Marcie, as she was more of a commodity to and of Holloway than anything else. Instead, Marcie’s death isn’t really a drive for Holloway, it’s just a thing that happened and she’s kinda bummed about this.

Is Holloway an imposing force, a ticking clock of sorts? No, she is not. We’re told that during all their stay on Eden-5 (again, around 4 or 5 years), Fiona and Sasha are neighbors with Holloway and nothing is done with it. They’re not anxious that she could strike at any moment or that she could catch Gaige. They don’t care about Gaige actually. That’s why Holloway makes a very poor villain in the imposing sense. There’s no impact of hers and her power felt throughout the book, when Fiona and Sasha can happily live next to her and nothing happens.

The only interesting display of her power is during the gala at Fiona and Sasha’s place, where Holloway shows that she can very easily change the whole Elite’s perspectives regarding the sisters. Yes, it’s a good moment for Holloway but it also truly makes me think how shallow she is as a character. First, the fact that Fiona fell for the Claptrap Vaultlander is another testament of how dumbed down she was. Burch, you made a whole joke about how Claptrap sucks at the beginning and how Fiona hates him, the least you could do was to think that she’d immediately throw this away (especially since you’ve established that Fiona is frivolous with her possessions now).

Second, it’s such a bait and switch moment for Holloway and the whole Elite. I get what it was trying to accomplish, it was for us to see that the Elites are stupid and will follow anyone as it goes. But wouldn’t it be better that out of her hatred for Fiona and Sasha she would work behind the scenes, telling other Elites how they are just stupid Pandorans who can’t achieve anything? It could’ve been a carefully plotted plan with instances that the blackmail was happening hinted at throughout the story but that would require the time when Fiona and Sasha spent on Eden-5 to mean something (it does not) and Holloway to have an ounce of personality and planning skills (she does not).

Another thing that Holloway for me lacks is the backstory. To create a good villain you must make us believe that they had a reason to do all that so we can hate them even more. I think in general, Borderlands does a great job with this, with Knoxx, Handsome Jack, of course, Colonel Zarpedon and the twins. But Holloway? We do not know anything about Holloway’s life. It was probably done so the billionaire character is just a shallow representation of this world but it makes for a very boring and one note character. We don’t know how she got this money, if she lived all her life like this and hates outsiders who she thinks are unworthy of this. Or is it a thing she got later in life thus is so cutthroat about this because she doesn’t wanna go back to poverty. No, you just get a one note shallow villain with no motivation and nothing to play off of.

Even her death is such a nothing death too. Throughout the book we see everyone trying to get at her and eliminate her and not succeed. It’s why Gaige is here, it’s a whole moral dilemma for Fiona and Sasha to grasp upon. As much as Holloway is baiting them to do this but calling them cowards and the sisters just lamenting over how they should’ve done this, you’d think Holloway would get her way. Possibly being quite literally torn to shreds by the sisters, Gaige and the poor people of Eden-5. I mean, it’s Borderlands, deaths like these could happen! But no, she just falls to her death. Even Gaige didn’t deserve to get a shot at her, it seems.

4. The themes of why all billionaires deserve to die or lack therefore of

In a now deleted tweet, Anthony Burch describes Debt Or Alive as a book about how “all billionaires deserve to die”. Why he had deleted this, I have no idea and I’m not here to speculate. However, I did not forget this tweet and throughout reading Debt Or Alive I kept reminding myself of itt. It should be the credo of this book, right? Or at least it once was. That is why, I wanted to simply sit down and speculate, what does this tweet actually mean for the themes of this book.

(This screen isn’t mine, I didn’t get to screenshot it when it was up)

I am a leftist, my politics are very much so on the left. My expertise lies in environmental issues and I know less about socio-economics but it’s fine because it seems that Anthony Burch himself doesn’t know much about this. Hence while reading Debt Or Alive, I asked myself the same question over and over. Let’s say I’m a person who likes Borderlands, likes Fiona and Sasha, isn’t too involved in politics and now I read Debt Or Alive – will this book convince me to learn more of the theory or think that all billionaires should die? In a way yes but in none of the right meaning of such speculations.

On the planet of Eden-5, it seems that life is determined by money and social status. Even the smallest crimes (or rather inconveniences towards the wealthy) will result in you getting a debt cuff. The imagery is already very ham-fisted but let’s go forward with this idea. What are the debt cuffs? I can’t really tell you how they work. While reading I couldn’t have deduced how exactly they operate with that premise. 

First thing is that a person can have multiple debt cuffs but it is never specified if the cuffs ever reach their limit in amount of money on it. As we see Fiona and Sasha get their cuffs and then we learnt you can get multiple, it truly got me thinking – how is that possible? How is it possible to get another, if the screens are digital (and they are described to be digital) how can they reach the limit and be forced to get another? In a highly technological society like Borderlands, nonetheless? How are the body parts chosen for this process? Fiona gets one on her ankle (I think, either this or arm, I forgot) but Sasha gets one on her neck. There are people who have so many cuffs they can’t walk anymore. How can they have so many?

Truth be told, we won’t learn anything about the cuffs or how people operate with them. We simply know they are very common and every citizen of Rustville is described to wear one. Even children, in an incredibly not subtle way, are described to wear “debt cuffs 4 kidz!”. We’re told the cuffs are very heavy but people live with them. We won’t learn who manufactures them, who is in charge of the law to give them away. We’re not even told about the ones who have paid their debt without help from Fiona and Sasha.

The moment when the book takes us to debt prison and the guard says there are some prisoners who can’t even walk because of their cuffs, I realized what these truly were. The cuffs were nothing but the least subtle visualization for us for the statuses of Eden-5 citizens. A literal ball and chain to be exact. For me it just serves as a very ham-fisted metaphor for what could’ve been an interesting concept. We could’ve seen someone pay up their debt but the cuff stays on because the Elites don’t want anyone to be free. We could’ve seen Elites wearing some as a “fashion statement”, mocking the suffering of the lower class. We could’ve seen an Elite who has an actual debt cuff and can’t pay it away, resulting in them hiding it from others. We could’ve had anything but the complete disregard Fiona and Sasha had for their workers and not realizing all of them wear at least one.

For all it’s worth, the book has a very black and white approach towards wealth and money, one that is very unusual for Borderlands. Though we get the usual for Borderlands “everyone is an asshole”, we have such a divide between Rusters and the Elites, it’s hard to mistake it for anything else. Because of this, world building suffers with this incredibly. There are only the poorest people around or the richest people around. There is no nuance or a conversation, there is either this or that. Even Gaige doesn’t offer any insider information towards it, even if she was born and raised there. Nowhere does her very outspoken politics mention the structures and Elites of Eden-5 which she should be completely against. And the fact that she knew Marcie and that she doesn’t wear any debt cuffs that are omnipresent on Eden-5 and the fact that Elites don’t want anything to do with Rusters makes me wonder – is Gaige actually rich? Because everything shows this, and if so, great work, Burch on creating a character whose identity is all over the place.

That was my big issue with showing the problems of wealth and social structures it creates. With no middle class, the conversation lacks another point of view. There are either the wealthiest around or the completely poorest lowest class imaginable. With getting rid of the middle, Burch fails to show us how daily life operates and robs us of the potential conversation. Where are the people who chase wealth and fortune? Where are those who would betray their whole class just to have that taste of top dog life? The only thing we are offered in this conversation are Face and Pick (you don’t have to know anything about them), who want to give Fiona and Sasha away for Holloway, just for the money. But that’s treated as a plot twist, rather than an actual plot point and the siblings already paralleled Fiona and Sasha, so there’s no conversation, just a very shallow shock.

Another point is how the Elites are presented to us. The Elites are the villains, of course and just like billionaires in real life, they aren’t good people. It’s more of how they are presented to us or lack of such presentation. Debt Or Alive doesn’t show us insides to the minds of the Elites because frankly, they don’t have any. I do understand that Burch wanted to show that these are stupid, cruel people, I get it, but even in real life, billionaires are stupid but not necessarily unintelligent.

In the book, we don’t see much of Elites, actually. We see them on the gala Fiona constructed and on Holloway’s gala at the end. At first, they are mindless people who cannot think for themselves. They’re either doing what Fiona wants or what Holloway wants. Secondly, they are quite literally used as meat shields for our heroes to hide behind. So in all senses, they have no personalities, either as a group or individuals. I think the biggest crime is that even in their rich years, Fiona and Sasha don’t interact with the Elites. We could see them be cruel to the lower class citizens, purposefully making them do things that would rank up their debt. We could see them spending money on idiotic things which Fiona and Sasha would point out as dumb. We could even have descriptions of Holloway’s house that are garish and grotesque because she has so much money, she doesn’t know how to spend it anymore.

Truly, the only billionaires whose mind we can read are actually Fiona and Sasha. But for this kind of story, you need a strawman, which is absent. I genuinely thought that Gaige could become their strawman but their relationship is so shallow and so one note I quickly realized it’s impossible. In stories like this, usually when the protagonists become rich and get to make stupid, meaningless purchases, there are already signs that something like this is bad. And though there are plenty of moments in which the girls make stupid choices over their greed, it takes them so damn long to wake up from that dream.

There’s also no critique of overconsumption or consumerism in general. It should be an easy task, regarding how Fiona and Sasha spend their money but though we never see the effects on them, for example throwing away new things or we don’t see the workers (besides that one lady) in such conditions. It’s all a very interesting subject that is brushed away at rich ladies’ boredom. Though we are told that these purchases are stupid, we aren’t given an answer to what they should do instead. And the only point of activism Fiona and Sasha do is to finally free the workers from cuffs. Took them long enough.

I simply can’t understand why this plot even had to involve the sisters, since it truly makes them worse by association. All throughout Tales we hear that Fiona and Sasha hate Hyperion and don’t want anything to do with Rhys. It’s a fair assessment, they’re Pandoran and Hyperion destroyed Pandora as they knew it and is personification of greed. So… Why were they so eager to live a rich and boring life? Was their issue only with Hyperion? Even more so, why were they so hateful regarding Hyperions? For all we know, Rhys is just a simple white collar worker who also gets screwed over by the system, yet they hate him for being part of the system even when it’s to also get by. Reading this story, I had a feeling that Fiona and Sasha simply hated Rhys for being a white collar worker and they had no problems with greed and destruction of lives via riches.

The story also really doesn’t want to take sides in this whole debacle. Fiona and Sasha lose all their money and want to start a revolution, killing all the Elites. This thought isn’t given any time to sink in or develop. At some point, the sisters realize no, we shouldn’t kill the Elites because that is how we’re gonna liberate the people, with their money. But then Gaige tells them they’re wrong? It’s very all over the place and the story really doesn’t want to take sides in this. 

That does make me think, what kind of impact will this story even have on both Fiona and Sasha? All in all, it seemed that they didn’t learn anything. They have to be on the run because the Elites want them dead but also they’re still into the riches and spoils of the Vault. Since Rhys is rich now, wouldn’t they not want to associate with him? Or are we gonna play the “not all rich people” card? I love Rhys and I actually like fictional rich people. But while writing a story like this, you have to stick with your principals and make them call out Rhys’ practices, not side with him because he’s one of the good guys. You can’t lead a revolution and then make puppy eyes towards a rich capitalist.

I have left out the discussion of race, because I am white and I feel like this isn’t my place to be talking about this. Don’t listen to me regarding this, listen to people of color. I want to, however, point out that Burch stayed within the racial ambiguity of Fiona and Sasha and their racial identity is not spoken of, while we learn the ethnic identities of two white characters (Gaige and Felix). Not to mention that I can criticize that having two women of color be painted as rich assholes and drawing parallels between Fiona and Handsome Jack who is in canon called a fascist is incredibly insensitive. And within the revolution literally having them be called out on being “outsiders who want to lead revolution that isn’t theirs and they talk over the native people” is so bad I can’t believe Burch thought of this. 

All in all, would this book convince me that all billionaires should die? With its heavy-handed metaphors and subtlety equal to a trainwreck, I truly don’t think it would. It’s a mess of themes and missed chances on having actually said something regarding the fact that billionaires should not exist and that they are vapid people who can’t look out for others. The story is just complicated when those people you criticize are also your protagonists, like Fiona and Sasha here.

We could’ve had interesting stories of class struggle and differences. The Elites could’ve been destroying the land, long before that laser hit Rustville. Destruction of land and resources for people to live is one of the oppression strategies real life rich people do. And just like the environmental issues won’t be solved with only everyday people making a change, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to make things better. Write better stories with better themes. Maybe it’s just a tie-in novel for a game from 10 years ago but it could’ve said something instead of giving us a caricature of a rich person who spends money on little whale serving dishes.

See how I mentioned my passion for environmental issues at the beginning and it came back here? Set up and pay off. Something this book lacks.

5. Writing not just a better story but A Story in general

I am a writer. Sure, I write fanfiction but that doesn’t disqualify what I’m about to say. Not everyone is a showrunner, you need screenwriters too. What is this book if not officially commissioned fanfiction regarding Fiona and Sasha? When I myself am writing a story to explore, I always ask myself what is my theme, what am I building towards. Every story is fundamentally about change, right? That was why, when I stopped asking myself if I think all billionaires should die, I started asking myself – what did I gain from reading this story? What did the characters gain from this story being told? The answer is actually nothing.

Some of you probably had thought “this is just a tie-in novel to the games, it’s not supposed to be high art” and I agree with this but it is supposed to be art, no matter what. You could’ve said the same thing about the original Tales From The Borderlands, it’s nothing but an addendum to the main stories within the Borderlands. Yet, it moved a lot of people, inspired them, wanted them to create and follow the stories of these characters. For years, I’ve seen people longing for a story of Fiona and Sasha post Tales and this is what we get. Maybe in this regard Debt Or Alive is a high art, since it’s been making me nothing but angry these past couple of days. Or maybe it truly is a nothing piece of art, since at the end of the day, the feelings are just of shallowness.

Coming back to the fact that every story needs change to be worthwhile, I mean it even in the smallest of sense. It doesn’t have to be a huge change, but there has to be one no matter what. After I read Debt Or Alive I realized there was completely no change involved in the process. We start this book with Fiona and Sasha not knowing where they are in life and at the end, they decide to be Vault Hunters. You can say it is a substantial change but think about it like this – it’s the same kind of character arc they’ve had in the original Tales From The Borderlands.

Nothing had changed, they’re still at the same point they were almost 10 years ago when we finished episode 5. What Burch does is a classic shitty storytelling technique of the sequel that is just forgetting everything that had happened before and rehashing the character arc from the first one, just worse. Fiona goes from a self-reassured con-artist to a confident Vault Hunter. Sasha goes from a closed off younger sister to someone with agency. Those are the same kinds of stories we’ve already been told but when there’s no one to bounce off of, you realize that the sisters didn’t need this journey to realize it, they just needed to think for 15 minutes.

There’s also no change to the dynamics between Fiona and Sasha, and every attempt at it is shallow and pointless. At the beginning, we see Fiona being anxious that Sasha literally died before her eyes. Fiona is basically patronizing, Sasha goes Vault hunting but dislikes this, goes back and they make up. There’s no sense of change between them or maturity. I’ve already discussed the sense that their “class consciousness” is meaningless when they at the beginning were lower class. But even between each other, it’s the same song and dance. Fiona is a little overprotective, Sasha wants to show that she’s not just the younger sister. I’ve seen this already, Burch, you’ve told me this in Tales.

It doesn’t help that Fiona and Sasha really are treated constantly as the same entity, so their “changes” just don’t appear. They’re bound by the hip, unable to grow because of their limitations of the relationship. It’s too bad that a story about siblings has to treat them like they can’t exist without each other, when it could be an interesting story about independence. What if Sasha decides that Vault hunting is for her and actually goes away with Gaige? What if Fiona realizes that she’s been too caught up in her sister’s life that she forgot how to live her own? Those are all interesting questions that get tossed off the window, when you realize you have to do Tales but worse.

Just like that, the sisters can’t form any meaningful relationship. Not with the cardboard cutouts of the supporting cast, not with Gaige, there really is nothing. Fiona and Sasha don’t interact with their environment in an interesting way, it’s just a ham-fisted need to show that rich people are bad. Yes, I know they’re bad, I just want to see them discover it on their own. But we get nothing.

You can also argue that Sasha’s story regarding Rhys is just a rehash. As I’ve said, I was never a fan of this couple but I can’t imagine being satisfied with a solution that Burch brings to the table. Through the story, we see Sasha denying her feelings, not being ready for a relationship until Fiona steps in and says “actually, you are or you’re not” and off-screen we see that Sasha decided on their relationship. It’s truly insulting to see the “will they, won’t they” scenario with adult people and solved not before us.

What you have to understand is that this period of life that we’re seeing, with Fiona and Sasha is not a brief period of time. Maybe Burch doesn’t want exact numbers but this is clear when you think about a certain fact – Rhys has a mustache. I’m bringing this up because in Borderlands 3, Lor is actually surprised to see him like this, which means that the Maliwan invasion is well on its way. Which Rhys doesn’t bring up, of course. But deducing from this single comment we can calculate that between the beginning of the book and the ending, 4 or 5 years had happened. That is a damn long time and the fact that during this Fiona and Sasha do not resolve anything, do not develop and only go forth with their very surface level resolution is just a slap in the face.

We finished when we had started – it’s just that Burch doesn’t want you to realize that we had started at the ending. And this itself has consequences that he doesn’t ever want to acknowledge.

6. Show me my silver lining

I think at this point it’s very clear to see that I very much so didn’t enjoy this book. It’s just that I can’t bring myself to give a fully negative review, when there is one thing that I have to actually compliment. That thing is the arc of Gaige and what she’s been through in this book.

How we see Gaige is an actual arc and change of the character. We start with her being petty and bitter, returning to her home planet of Eden-5 for revenge. She wants to kill Holloway for destroying her and especially for the fact that she had imprisoned her father. We see Gaige’s smarts play the role against Fiona and we actually see the unbeatable Vault Hunter lose. Her father died at the prison. She has to hide, plotting her revenge. At the opportunity to bring her father back with the life crystal, she takes it immediately. But when it fails, Gaige is avoidant and quiet. Not wanting to see that she had failed yet again.

What was a terrible point in Fiona’s characterization, the destruction of Rustville, is the moment where Gaige shines through. Being presented with a choice by Holloway, she actually altruistically chooses to get caught, so she won’t hurt anyone. Sure, Holloway doesn’t keep her promise but it’s what Gaige is doing what is important. Instead of her usual snarky demeanor, we see her give up, something she had never done on her own. And in prison we see her still fighting for her life, screaming at the top of her lungs, even if at that point both her father and Deathtrap are gone.

The one genuinely great moment was when at the gala, Gaige gets a chance to open up about her feelings to her ECHOtube (I think that was what it was called?) subscribers. She talks about her love for her dad and how much he meant to her. How she misses him but wants to avenge him and wants him to be proud of her. It’s a very powerful moment, in my opinion, the best in all of the book. Gaige, surrounding herself with cheap thrills and adventures, seeks something that is real and opens up. It’s a beautiful moment of humanity for her that is just lovely to see.

Why she decided to take up the job of a party planner, I have no idea. Even with her explanation it still didn’t mean much to me. Thinking of how sad and once more, avoidant and lonely she ends up in Borderlands 3 does make me feel regret but I wanna hold onto that moment. Of Gaige’s sass and positive spirit, the only thing that made me go through that book.

Also there was a moment in which Rhys admits that he had a voice surgery. Made me go “what the fuck” at first but then I kinda laughed. Nobody needed that but whatever. Also fuck Troy Baker, all my homies hate Troy Baker.

7. Lightning round of criticism

Having said all of that and more about this book, this little section is about criticisms I had but didn’t want to dedicate a whole section to them. It’s just a list of things that bothered me as hell there but that will be shorter to sum up:

-        The humor of this book was unbearable. After several of those “jokes” you could very easily predict how the next one would go. It’s one person making a statement, another person contradicting it and then the outcome is a contradiction or first person admitting to the contradiction. Imagine this dry explanation but repeated over and over again and you get at least 40% of the whole dialogue. I don’t think it’s a good thing when you can sum up your entire humor in a descriptions like this

-        The new side characters are so paper thin, I cannot tell you anything about them. I can guarantee that if you ask me who they are in a month or two, I simply won’t know. All of them were characterized by a gimmick and not given anything real to do. The sisters, too, don’t have interesting interactions with them. Side characters here exist for cheap scenes that sorta progress the bad plot. In the words of a streamer Oboeshoesgames “Katagawa Jr. What a crazy character. He’s almost as memorable as Chet Smith.”

-        The way this book handled Rhys is horrendous. Equated to the kicked puppy who desperately wants Sasha’s attention, constantly described as stupid and worthless and then acting like a teenager when he’s pushing 30. I don’t think Borderlands 3 ruined Rhys. I don’t think New Tales ruined Rhys. But this? This is the worst written Rhys I’ve seen in years

-        Speaking of, Burch trying his damn hardest to write as if he’s a gen z person throws out words that make him look like Steve Buscemi “how do you do fellow kids” moment. In one moment, he even calls Rhys a himbo. Burch, do you know what words even mean

-        The narration style suffers from “tell don’t show”. Look at this example, here. Not only is this just flat out bad writing, we don’t need to be told three different times how badly Holloway treats people. A good writer would just show it to us via her actions towards her staff and juxtapose it with how Fiona treats her staff but of course, none of this happens

-        Being a video game writer, Burch doesn’t know how to progress a story. For him, the more important things are side quests and instant gratifications, not real emotional bits. The story rushes to the next point and leaves no room for you to breathe. You can’t spend time with those characters, you can’t learn anything new because you have to do another thing

-        Maybe that’s just me but I hate the non descriptive narration style. The world of Eden-5 feels shallow and pointless because the sisters don’t explore it and we don’t get any descriptions of it. Those are just empty phrases of wealth and dirt and nothing else

-        Last but certainly not least, I gotta ask, what the hell was Burch thinking with making this healing watch be the same thing as the healing crystal from New Tales? I always hated the deus ex machina of the watch but here it just had gotten ridiculous. It makes no sense, it’s a contrived way to bring it together. How does it connect? We never know, it is never explored. Maybe in Borderlands 50 or something

8. Conclusion

I hated this book. I wish I could’ve said something more profound but sometimes being direct is better – I truly hated this book and I won’t consider this canon to the Borderlands storyline. You can take my word that the canon won’t acknowledge it either. It’s a shallow cash grab directed at people who love Fiona and Sasha, engineered to be as meaningless as it could be and not to say anything either about its themes or its characters. It’s not a character study. It’s not a jumping off point for meaningful class structures and struggles discussion. It’s not even a fun popcorn adventure for fans of the series. With huge letters stating that it was written by the writer of Borderlands 2, I think we gotta ask – maybe it’s time to stop relying on the past and have someone write a spectacular story on par and better than Borderlands 2? Just anyone but Anthony Burch. 

[estrella-zoe39]

i love dumping random shit onto my tumblr anyway weird discussion of the most random fandoms combined go! mostly discuses love as core themes of stories.

i think my favourite pieces of media are those that just dont make sense if you dont view them as a love story. i came across this discovery as i was watching code geass ep 17 when lulu goes insane when he realises the one thing thats in his way is also the person he trusts completely. there is no other genuine explanation other than love for the reasoning of his reaction in that scene. with shirley he had this mellow yet sorrowful reaction when he realised he couldnt be with her anymore. not saying there wasnt a part of him that didnt love her but with suzaku? he goes berserk. whatever he felt couldnt have happened if he didnt love suzaku.

other good examples of this are frieren, orv, and house. there are more my brain is just kinda fried rn and i think these three are good examples of like. varying levels of how explicit the message is. (theyre all obvious af tho)

ill start with frieren because i think if youve even like. heard about it youll know but himmel and frierens relationship really is the core of like the entire story. a boy who loved too soon and a girl who loved too late. frieren just isnt. frieren when you take that away. frieren at its like core is about love you cant just remove that because then the story wouldnt be the same it probably wouldnt even exist!!! and im sure everyone knows this its just surprising how frieren isnt officially a romance manga considering its entire premise

another example is orv which is a bit harder to know if youve only read the webtoon. orvs story just wouldnt exist if hsy didnt love kdj. if she didnt write yjh and then kdj wouldve died, plain and simple. and if kdj didnt love the story back then he wouldve also died. hsy, yjh, and kdj at their core are their love for each other. hsy spent 12 years writing a book everyday just for kdj to keep on living and in kaizenix she waited 50 years for him. yjh spent the entirety of orv learning how to love from kdj, through fighting alongside him, through protecting him, through seeing him die, even when he learned he wasnt real he still believed him, and in the end yjh was the one who let kdj be known in every universe. his mission was something that he only could brave through if he loved kdj. and he did. speaking of kdj, i think its very obvious to everyone but his self-sacrificial nature is due to him only knowing that as a love language. something else is how without kdjs love, orv also just wouldnt exist. if his love for twsa, for the chars, for STORIES, didnt exist, he wouldnt be alive. if he didnt keep on molding twsa, to be alongside every yjh and co, to suggest new plot points, he wouldve never came to love it.

onto my last example, house. now i think you gotta be a very specific type of person to catch them (its called not being homophobic) but man are house and wilson like. house the show itself. their love defines the show, from the first scene to the last. he only took that first case which started everything because of wilson. half of his stupid antics are because of wilson. his love starts and ends at wilson because he knows wilson will be the one person who will always be there consistently for him. because no matter what happens, like house getting sent to trial by tritter, or house failing to save amber, they will be together, whether they want to or not. so when wilson is diagnosed with cancer, he breaks. the one person who he thought would always be there for him. isnt. in fact, he'll die first. and so, he does everything. he listens to wilsons stupid fucking ideas because he needs wilson to be there for him, he needs wilson at his grave, not him at wilsons. thats why he gives everything to wilson, his vicodin, his attention, and even his life. the only reason he dies is so he can be with wilson. none of this actions can be done without love in them, absolutely none. i think my favourite quote of them is "if house chops down a tree, and wilson isnt around to hear it, did it really fall?" it just sums up their stupid, needy, insane, and romantic dynamic so much.

all of these pieces of media need love in them to be them, so i hope ive loved them more than they could ever want, despite some of their flaws 🩷🩷🩷

[sosappyjoos]

hiiii!🥺

Can i request something for Yunho since it´s his birthday?

sumn along the lines of orgasm denial+overstimulation+dirty talk maybe?

Feel free to say no and i hope you have a nice day/night <3

Absolutely! I ofc have to write a piece for my precious Yunho's birthday🥺 This was pretty fun to write, and so I hope you enjoy it, and have a nice day/night celebrating Yunho's birthday too.

Birthday Boy- Jeong Yunho

↳Pairing : Jeong Yunho x f!reader

Warnings: MDNI! smut, making out, oral sex, (both m. and f. recieving), throatfucking, orgasm denial, overstimulation, tears, pet names (present, birthday boy, baby,) slight fingering, Yunho loves dirty talk once things get started, Yeosang, San Hongjoong and Seongwa are briefly in the beginning of the story, safe sex (wrap it up, everyone), brief mention of tears.

Word count: 2,576

Summary: After going to Yunho's house after a fun night out at the club, you help him have the best birthday of his entire life.

A/N: pls reblog! It helps a lot. Also this is NOT a part two to Good Kisser. I am working on that though;) but this is a post for Yunho's birthday! Be sure to go on any social media platform you have and wishing him a happy birthday, if not, just wish it in your heart :D

Yunho took another gulp of his drink as he watched you from afar. You were having the time of your life, dancing to the loud bass with everyone else in the club. You were dancing with San, Yeosang and Hongjoong, all of them all also having fun with some of the girls around you all of course. 

Seonghwa sat down next to Yunho at the bar, with a knowing look. “Are you finally going to make a move?”

Yunho tore his eyes away from you, now looking at Seonghwa. “Hm? What do you mean?” he asked.

“Don’t lie. Anyone here could clearly see you eye-fucking Y/N,” Seonghwa chuckling, grabbing the drink out of Yunho’s hand. “It’s about damn time you get out there and dance with her, make your move.”

“We’re just friends,” Yunho shook his head. 

“Yunho, the tension between you and Y/N has been absolutely unbearable for everyone else. You better make your move on her before any of the other guys get sick of waiting, or even worse, she gets sick of waiting,” Seonghwa, now pushed Yunho towards the dancing crowd, and Yunho gulped, mentally preparing to dance with you. Yunho finally made his way through the crowd of people, San slapped his hand on Yunho’s shoulder, happy to see him out here on the dance floor. Yunho finally was behind you. Thankfully he didn’t have to awkwardly tap on your shoulder, since you looked over your shoulder for a moment. Your face brightened when you saw him, spinning around. 

“So, the birthday Boy finally decided to join,” she yelled. Yunho smiled. She placed her hands over Yunho’s shoulders, having to reach since his figure was so tall. He placed his hands right at your waists as you both swayed and bounced along with everyone else to the booming music. You looked up every now and then letting out small giggles, making Yunho smile and shrug shyly. You had enough of the stale simple flirting and decided to spin around now, grinding against his crotch. Yunho stuck his tongue in his cheek at the move, and once again held your hips, letting himself also grind on him. You leaned back into him, swaying together to the beat. Finally Yunho leaned down to your ear. “Do you want to go to my place?” He yelled loud enough for only you to hear.

You spun back around to him, a glint in your eyes. “Yunho, I fucking thought you’d never ask.”

Yunho’s smile widened, he took your hand, and guided you through the crowd, leaving the club. 

Hongjoong, Yeosang and San all found their way to Seonghwa at the bar, watching you and Yunho leave. “It’s about fucking time,” Hongjoong mumbled, taking a sip from his drink. The rest of the boys chuckled, shaking their own heads.

Yunho opened his door for you, letting you inside the dim apartment. He led you to the kitchen. You took off the coat you were wearing, and placed it on the chair you sat down in. Yunho also took off his jacket, throwing it on the couch before going to his wine cabinet. He pulled out a bottle that looked expensive, but you weren’t really paying attention. You just watched his hands as he popped open the bottle, pouring the red liquid into two wine glasses. He brought them over, placing one in front of you, before sitting across from you. You gave him a short “thank you” before taking a sip of the wine. He did the same, savoring the taste. “Have you enjoyed your day then?” You asked him, trying to kill the silence. 

He nodded. “I have. It’s been… nice.”

You sighed, as he once again missed a perfectly good shot to say something cheeky. So you decided to do it for him. “I know what would make it a lot better,” you said, standing from your seat, sitting now on the table in front of him, seductively. You stuck your chest out, making your dress seem like it was bursting at the seams. Yunho looked for a moment, before shyly looking up at your eyes. 

“And what would that be?” he finally asked. 

You took the wine glass from his hands, placing it behind you. You then laid your arm over his shoulder, leaning closer to him. “I think it’s about time you grew a pair of fucking balls and fucked me like the big boy you are now.”

As you finished your sentence, Yunho finally stood from his seat, pulling you close to him as he kissed you deeply and fast paced. You quickly cooperated with the kiss, hungry for his attention and touch. He now stood between your legs, while you still sat on the table. His hands caressed your body, desperate to feel every inch of you. You quickly tugged at his shirt, anxious to get it off. He helped, pulling the shirt over his head. You didn’t waste any time, once again feeling his chest, and the hint of muscle definition there. He was perfect. You hastily pulled him at the neck to kiss you again. He kissed you hard, sticking his tongue into your mouth, and you let him enter easily. He separated from the kiss with a small smirk on his lips. 

“A bit hasty, are we?”

“Yunho, I’ve waited way too long for this to go slow.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll definitely be fucking you out tonight. I don’t mind taking my time,” he teased. You rolled your eyes, kissing him again. His hand, tickled your side, as he began to bunch up your dress at your waist, he finally pulled the dress over your head, admiring your lingerie you were wearing. You couldn’t help but blush a little bit under his stairs, and his touch wandering over your body. “You look perfect for me to fuck you tonight Y/N,” he mumbled. 

“Quite the dirty mouth you got there Yunho,” you smirked, trying to alleviate your slight discomfort.

“What? I can’t admire my little birthday present’s wrapping?” he said, letting his hands travel the insides of your thighs. You let out a small breath at the touch. He couldn’t help the smug expression that spread on his face at your reaction. His hands continued running up your legs, his thumb brushing your visibly wet panties. He kissed your neck, sucking hard at the skin, making you wince. He wanted to leave a few marks on his little present to let you and others know you were his present. He trailed kisses from your neck, through the line of your breasts, lingering a bit at the soft skin. He used one of his hands to reach behind you, unclasping your bra. He admired your breasts, kissing the nipple before sucking it. “Your nipples even know you want me,” he smirked at how your nipples perked at his touch. He sucked harshly on one of your tits, before releasing with a loud “pop.” He smirked at the small moan you let out. “Look what a fucking slut you are for me tonight.”

“Only for the birthday boy,” you affirmed, smiling at him. He now squatted down, level with your panty covered pussy. He quickly took the ruined panties off your legs, and you gave a light gasp at the sudden contact of the cool air. 

Yunho let his finger drag down your folds, as you sat on the edge of the table, anxious for more of his touch. “Patience. You’re supposed to wait for the Birthday Boy,” he said, giving a slight slap to your leg, making you cry out. He once again let his finger drag down your folds, before letting one of his fingers slip inside you. You let out a loud moan at the motion. He pumped you once before adding a second finger. You bit your lip, well pleased by the feeling. He then licked a stripe, starting from where his fingers were, up to your clit. You let out another moan, and then gasped as he began to suck at your pussy at his fingers. Your hips rolled at his fingers and tongue. 

“Fuck, Yunho. That feels so good,” you moaned. Then he curled his fingers a bit, pressing at your g-spot. You let out a strangled yell at the feeling. “Oh shit. Right there, Yunho. RIght there!” You exclaimed, your fingers now intertwining in his hair. Your hips pushed you closer into his mouth, and fingers, anxious to feel your release as your orgasm began to build. You pulled on his hair, throwing your head back. “I’m gonna cum,” you breathed, squeezing your eyes as you were right there. But suddenly Yunho took his fingers out, and moved his face away from you. You let out a gasp, as you felt your orgasm just dissipate. You looked at Yunho, your brows furrowed. 

“You don’t get to cum that easy, present,” he smirked. He helped you off the table as you pouted. He led you to his bedroom. “I want my little present to do its job,” Yunho said, sitting down on his bed. You hid a smile at his cheeky comments now. 

“You never say shit like that,” you chuckled. 

“I was saving it for when you finally were mine,” he smirked. You shook your head, sitting down between his legs. You squeezed the bulge in his pants, making him groan and roll his neck at the slight relief of finally being touched. While you continued to grope his dick through his clothing, you began to undo the button and zipper of his pants. You swiftly pulled down his pants and were able to see more clearly the outline of his dick in his boxers. He was absolutely massive. Even better, his girth was perfect, and you were so excited to have it in you tonight. You leaned down to suck at the clothed dick, looking up to Yunho. You both made eye-contact and your sparkling doe eyes made his dick harden a little bit more. He groaned from your wet mouth over his underwear, his mouth falling open a bit. You now pulled down his underwear and grabbed his dick in your hand. You admired the red tip, before giving it an excruciatingly slow lick. You giggled at his light whimper. You then licked it from the base up to the tip, before wrapping your lips around the tip. Yunho groaned, throwing his head back as you began to take more of his dick in your mouth. You then began to bob your head, up and down, making sure to drag your tongue along the vein on the bottom of his cock. He began to groan at the same rate your head was moving. He intertwined his fingers in your hair, making you moan.

The vibrations made Yunho’s eyebrows furrow. His hand on your head, began to push you to go at a faster pace. “Keep going baby, I’m gonna cum down your throat,” he growled, his low voice making your pussy wet all over again. He held your head with his other hand too now, controlling the pace of your head. His cock was now hitting your throat, and you fought your gag reflex, looking up at him again. He sped up the pace, breathing heavily, his release so close. Finally, he pushed your head all the way, your nose brushing against his stomach as his cum filled your throat and mouth. He finally released your head, and you quickly swallowed everything before gasping for air. He held your cheeks. “Open, so I can see,” he demanded. You quickly did, showing him how you swallowed his salty seed. “Good girl. You liked that, didn’t you?”

You only nodded, still catching your breath. Getting throatfucked by Yunho was a delusion you’d had many times before, but actually experiencing it was something else entirely. He then stood up, picking you up and guiding you onto the bed. His dick was still hard to your shock, as you watched him walk to his dresser, pulling out a condom. “You ready to cum on my dick tonight?” Yunho asked, rolling the condom down his dick. 

“I’ve been waiting to cum all night, Yunho. Now hurry up and fuck me,” you teased, pulling him by the hand towards you. You laid down comfortably on his bed as he hovered over you. 

“I’m not going easy on you, understand?” he said, lining his dick up with you. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Birthday Boy,” you shot back. At your response he quickly shoved his dick inside you, making you gasp. 

“Good,” he smirked, before pulling in and out at a quick pace already. You hummed in delight as his dick stretched you in the best way possible. “You feel so good for me,” he grunted, as his hips snapped in and out of you at such a quick pace. Fast and hard, just like how you liked it. 

“You’re so fucking big,” you moaned, grabbing at his bed sheets. He lifted your legs up, throwing them over his shoulders. Soon enough you were close to cumming from his quick pace. “Yunho, I’m cumming soon.”

“You’re already cumming, huh?” He teased. You quickly grabbed onto his arms, your moans speeding up as your release was so close. Finally, your long awaited orgasm washed over you, and You let out a groan, your body shaking a bit. Yunho’s pace continued, except now, he dropped your legs, and used his hand to now rub your clit. You began to wince and whimper as he played with your sensitivity. Your body jolted occasionally from the overstimulation. You bit your lip as tears pricked your eyes uncontrollably. But you absolutely loved it, and the way Yunho’s eyes squinted, his jaw slacking as his own release began to approach. His grunts began to get louder. “I’m getting close,” he told you between breaths. You nodded, and let out a sigh as he finally stopped rubbing your clit, relief washing over you. 

“Shit,” he moaned, pulling out of you, taking the condom off and letting himself cum on your stomach, his mouth falling open at the feeling. After he finished completely, you wiped a bit of the cum off your stomach with your finger, sticking it in your mouth as you began to sit up. He smiled, quickly grabbing some tissues. He squatted down beside you, helping to clean you up. He looked up to you with a warm smile, and you smiled back down at him. He wiped away the tears that you still had on your face, before he pulled down his sheets, helping you inside his bed. He threw away the tissues, and turned off the lights before he slipped inside the bed with you, pulling you close. 

“How was your birthday now?” you asked, smiling knowingly. 

“Absolutely amazing,” he chuckled. He hesitated a moment before saying, “But, what would really make it the best ever is if you agreed to be my girlfriend.”

You sat up a bit, now looking at him. “More than being asked to actually come home with you, I was worried you’d never ask me to be your girlfriend,” you laughed. He also laughed with you, covering his face with an embarrassed grown. You snuggled up to him once again. “Yunho, it would be an actual dream come true to be your girlfriend.” He leaned down kissing your lips, sealing the deal. “Goodnight Birthday Boy.”

[kestalsblog]

Thoughts on "Loser, Baby" Song

From what I’ve seen, viewers are extremely divided on the impact of the song “Loser, Baby” in the fourth episode of Hazbin Hotel. I’ve decided to share my own thoughts on the sequence below. Warning that this is a long post, and if you are triggered and upset by the song and/or episode, I encourage you not to read. I understand and respect any individual analysis, and if you were hurt by the song in any way, you are 100% valid. Others who feel differently are also valid. All I ask for is that same respect.

I don’t believe the only people qualified to speak on media are those who can relate to it, but I feel, given the conversation surrounding the episode, I should briefly mention my own background, so people don’t assume I am trying to speak on behalf of other survivors here. As a preface, I was in a severely abusive long-term relationship, so I can understand multiple perspectives here.

First, since Husk is a gambler, it’s safe to read the song as an extended metaphor for gambling too, in which case “loser” takes on the literal meaning– someone who has lost the game. Husk reminds Angel that many of us are dealt the shitty hand in life, and that the best way to get through the game is simply to go together. That’s probably the simplest positive analysis, but I think it's important to keep in mind throughout the whole song so that we don't read "loser" only as "failure" or "scum of society."

The most understandable criticism, though, is that the piece is blaming victims by attacking them and trivializing their experiences. I’m the most on the side of this argument at the words “whiny bitch,” which feel like an odd choice considering Husk has been nudging Angel to open up throughout the entire episode. It’s not my favorite line, but I can handle it only if we read the song as Husk actually singing to himself and calling himself these names as a means for Angel to see that he feels the same.

I do have some fondness for the song’s language as it continues, though. Excuse me for referencing my own personal experience here, but it’s relevant to my understanding.

Eventually in my healing journey, I realized writing and speaking affirmations to myself like “you’ll get better soon!” and “time heals everything!” were making me feel worse and frustrated. I felt like I was just waiting around for this magical deadline when I would “improve” or “recover,” and when that didn’t happen, I felt terrible about myself because I felt like a failure on top of damaged goods. I was letting myself down.

I reached a cathartic moment one day when I admitted to myself, “Maybe things are never going to get better, and I am always going to feel ruined by this.” Confessing this possibility allowed me to realize that, despite the fact that I am a “loser” in that I lost time, innocence, my old sense of security, and my carefree nature from before, I can still experience meaningful and even joyful moments in this new, altered condition.

At one point in the sequence, lots of flashing signs point terrible, degrading names at Husk and Angel. I can see why this might be upsetting to some viewers who are adamant that the characters do NOT represent those labels, but there is an obvious alternate reading that these are just the names both have assigned themselves over the years. By putting them bright and on display, they can face their self-hatred directly and reclaim their honest selves. (Let me pause here to say it's also crucial to remember Husk is not directly calling Angel any of these names). The solo lights then disappear and are replaced first with the soft blue raindrops moment where Husk shields Angel with the umbrella, and finally with the single LOSER where they both can dance together.

Most importantly, the lyrics gesture toward surprisingly affirmative by the song’s conclusion: “Eat shit together, things will turn out differently / It’s time to lose your self-loathing / Excuse yourself, let hope in, baby / Play your card, be who you are.”

Husk isn’t disregarding the possibility of hope, even in the gutter for the losers. In fact, he directly welcomes the possibility that the game can change with company, and self-hatred won’t be beneficial toward supporting that change. Even if we are dealt the losing hand, he reminds us the game is still worth playing. He reminds Angel again and again that it's okay to be who he is. And now "loser" assumes a new connotation - losing the negativity, the hatred, the things that are holding them back.

Significantly, after this point, no more self-negatives are even spoken, not even "loser" again because Husk and Angel are interrupted before the crucial word “me” when they sing that final line “loser just like—” Any connection to the self now has been effectively erased, reminding us that Angel and Husk may have made poor choices, may have been given crappy cards, but they are not losers in the sense that they are not less of people.

Last, it’s important to remember that the song is not meant to speak for everyone. It can't. If we’re going to be strict about it, it’s not for any survivors except Angel, and as we can see by his shifting mood, it certainly helps him feel better in the moment. The whole episode has been about Husk trying to encourage him to “break down his walls” and stop feigning the super inflated ego act he typically puts on, so, in one way, it becomes a “let’s get Angel past the self-loathing that’s preventing him from being his real self so we can move on to something more genuine and happier together" tactic.

I know it’s hard to separate our lived experiences from media. Judging from the disparity in opinions I’ve read from survivors on the song, I’d say it’s been therapeutic for just as many as it’s been damaging.

Before I conclude, it's worth mentioning I also have my own critiques of the song. I mentioned one with the word “whiny.” Another potential issue is the difference between Angel and Husk’s problems. I’m not trying to minimize gambling addictions by any means, but I know many of us feel that Husk’s loss of a cushy social position because of gambling pales against the extreme bodily violence Angel faces. I think it would be odd for Husk not to attempt to comfort Angel in some way, and trying to relate is one of the most common ways of doing so, but I admit that the discrepancy in their situations bugged me throughout the number. Husk reminds Angel he's "not unique" in his problems, which is important for survivors to remember (to know they are not alone), but it might mean a little more coming from someone on a similar playing field. The one redemptive thing I can say here though is that both characters sold their souls to someone with a tyrannical hold over them, and even though we know Alastor isn’t abusing Husk in the same way Val hurts Angel, we have yet to see the connotations of his power within that specific dynamic.

When push comes to shove, the song overall works for me, and I admit I felt seen while watching/listening, which isn't even something I really care about in media, but it was an interesting experience nonetheless. If you felt otherwise, I am sorry, and I encourage you to do your best to separate yourself from the media you consume and remember that every story, every song, is written by flawed people for flawed people. I mean it as fondly as possible, but we're all just losers "living in the same shit sandwich." Nothing will ever perfectly represent or encompass your own experience and healing. Analyze art respectfully for what it is, what it isn't, and what it can be.

What else can you do?

[jennifercheckapologist]

On TLOU2 and Its Place as Propaganda

This is the only thing I intend to post until the 28th due to the worldwide strike, but I have realized that I’ve spent a lot of time reblogging posts about Palestine rather than making a clear statement of my feelings about it and its connection to TLOU2. As someone who spends a lot of time thinking about the characters and writing about them, I feel an obligation to express these thoughts.

I know we’ve all probably seen the VICE article about the game which cites Neil Druckmann’s own words about what he, as a co-director and co-writer for the game, felt the game's themes were.

Of course, media often takes on an entirely new life after its creation but Zionism is sewn into the fabric of TLOU. Even in a world in which I pretend Druckmann does not exist, it does not strip the plot of the game of its harmful messaging. The most important message of the game is a misrepresentation of the conflict.

The plot of this game is inspired by not just the murder of two IDF soldiers, but a sense of hatred for their murderers. In the article, Emanuel Maiberg also points out that Dina serves the purpose of Ellie’s moral compass. Something about choosing a Jewish woman to advocate for peace and the end to the cyclical violence that Ellie is tempted by is not a choice that can exist in a vacuum. It’s especially uncomfortable to me when paired with the fact that a major piece of Israeli propaganda is the idea that the IDF is the “most moral army in the world.”

Druckmann also says, “I know it’s much more complex than that, but it’s hard to break that cycle. It’s really hard. Part of the themes, or part of the takeaway is that one side can’t stop. If only one side stops, it keeps going. So both sides have to let go. […] But the themes and the central questions are similar, like, ‘When should you stop? When is it too much to pursue justice at any cost?’ And the game ultimately deals with the limit that even if you are just, even if you are righteous, it can still destroy you to pursue it to the Nth degree.”

This is yet another attempt at making it seem that we are talking about two armies engaged in a war. We are not. There is no even playing field. This is Palestinians dying in their homes at the hands of people who will not stop until an entire people has been murdered. This is not war. This is not two even remotely equal forces engaged in combat. This is ethnic cleansing disguised as a necessary evil.

We are seeing how easy it can be to market a genocide when you convince people that it is for the greater good, and that a portion of these deaths you are witnessing are terrorists that could feasibly leave. I'm not in your homes so I obviously can't make you not buy the remaster or watch the show or buy official content from the creators, but let's maybe attempt to be more conscious consumers.

I can’t identify anything moral about war in general, let alone the martyrdom of civilians in their home.

Further Resources and How You Can Help

[nerves-nebula]

Hello. I have never seen an "teenage mutant ninja turtles" show, comic, or movie. The characters however, appeal to me. If any one show or movie would suffice, where should I begin? Other sources have not been helpful.

OHHH GODDD OK WELL. OK SO. the thing is that different iterations are SO different i'm not entirely convinced that comparing them to each other is very ?? helpful?? a lot of people these days get into tmnt through the 2018 animated show Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles. HOWEVER, that show only has like 2 seasons and is not the end all be all of the tmnt universe.

it's kind of hard for me to advise you to watch or read any one specific piece of tmnt media to get into it, because I kind of just already knew about it the entire time growing up?? like i never really actively watched it but i was generally aware of the concept for my entire life.

and i'm not sure exactly ABOUT the tmnt characters interests you, so i wouldn't know where to point you.

with all that as a disclaimer here's some of the more popular film/tv shows (I'm about as lost as you when it comes to the comics to be honest)

ROTTMNT/rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles. it's the newest series as far as i know and it has fantastic animation. it's very funny and lighthearted most of the time and the boys even get magic powers (eventually) it's the one that really got me into tmnt. this one kind of switches around the roles of the characters. Usually you'll see Raph being depicted as the rash one, or the one with anger issues who strikes out on his own (and i still think thats true to an extent in rottmnt) but he, as well as Leo, are definitely portrayed in a different way than normal in rottmnt. which i like tbh it's fun. (i could write a whole essay about how their characters are different but also kind of the same in rottmnt vs other media but that would take all day)

TMNT 2012 series. The 2012 series is very influential as well, and heavily beloved by many. I haven't seen all of it yet, but it's biggest drawbacks (to me at least) is its very 2010's american childrens show style of comedy which can come off as uncomfortably cruel/annoying if you aren't ok with it. it's also an early years CGI animated show, so sometimes things don't look as good as they could. STILL it's definitely interesting and i like the dynamics between the brothers there so I'd give it a chance.

TMNT 2003 series. honestly i havent heard a lot about this one, but i really like the style and ive watched a few episodes of it, and it's definitely solid, sorry i can't say much more than that.

TMNT 1987 series. also can't say much about this one but it is hella goofy from what i've watched of it. it's also the original cartoon series i believe, airing as a sort of "saturday morning cartoon" situation.

TMNT 1990 movie. this one is part of a trilogy of tmnt movies, but i've only seen the first and a half movies. I really enjoyed the first one, it was a fun time and kind of campy, and the guy who plays casey jones is cute. this one is live action and the turtle costumes can look off putting to some people, but personally i liked them.

im sure people in the replies/reblogs of this post will add their opinions too haha

[azquine]

Do you think Rose Tyler went through a degree of parentification with her mother?

I'm not calling Jackie a bad mother. She clearly loves Rose a TON and did her very best in difficult circumstances. She was a young woman suddenly a widow having to look after a child all on her own in the midst of her grief. Grief that she clearly hasn't gotten over as she attempts to cover over it with lines of new men and a blur of personal, televised, and printed gossip

But it is Rose who was supporting the household in the first episode we see her. Rose who has to find a job once it's been literally destroyed around her. As far as I remember it's never even considered that Jackie would take on Roses load for a bit.

Jackie likely never got a reprieve after Pete died before she was thrown straight into single motherhood, no matter how overwhelming it must have been. This is likely why she has no clue how to offer Rose a rest to get over what was a likely traumatic event. she even describes it as such on the phone (the fact that Rose is not actually in fact going through symptoms of trauma is I feel pretty irrelevant to this, though it contributes to the feeling of Roses mental state being brushed off)

Jackie's dislike for Roses 'airs and graces' from working a high end shop, the negative tone towards how the doctor changed her, even for the better, I think it all stems from the fear of Rose leaving. If Rose becomes better than what she can offer and leaves, she takes Jackie's entire world. The last reflection of Pete, a potential and invaluable source of income, and most of all simply the person she loves and cares for most. She'd have nothing but a council estate flat, friends to gossip with, media to consume, and bills to pay.

My thoughts on all this were triggered by a gif set I saw where Rose on new year's tells her mother something along the lines of 'don't stay out too late' and Jackie's reply is 'you try and stop me'. In most situations this would be the other way round. It should not be the daughter half jokingly cautioning the mother about a night out. The ease and familiarity of the exchange makes me think that this would not have been the first occurrence of this. This isn't to say that mothers shouldn't have proper nights out, my own does, but the daughter should not be the one worrying if they are being safe.

And that episode with the absorbalof (I think that's how it's spelled) where Rose comes out at the end enraged on her mother's behalf. It is completely understandable, and I would probably be EXACTLY the same, but in the context of everything else I'm thinking about, it's a bit too fitting that it is Rose coming to Jackie's defence after a bad not-quite boyfriend.

The woman who sat with Pete as he died, who Jackie uses as a single piece of comfort to pass on to her daughter? That's also Rose.

And the alternate dimension is really more Jackie's happy ending than Roses, though they both get an alternative version of the man of their dreams. But Rose loses a big part of why she chose to leave home over and over. Her monologue at the chippy pre- bad wolf shows that, although the doctor is an appeal on his own, the life of going out there and seeing the universe, making a change, is something that the loss of gets under her skin like a restless itch. And she didn't get a choice, she had to learn to deal with it.

Jackie loses nothing. It's all gain for her. She has her daughter, who she cares about most in the world, her husband, who seems more devoted and successful than he ever was in her reality, and she has the money and big house that she never got previously. She never has to learn to work through her grief without covering it, it is undone for her (though I'm sure the ghost of the 'real' Pete will still linger in her mind)

Again I want to reiterate that Jackie is NOT a bad or neglectful mother. She is incredibly and realistically concerned with Roses safety (in a way that I've only really seen RTD write). But she is a woman who has her own issues to tackle and very few resources with which to do so. Rose would have had to grow up navigating around that.

Feel free to counter or correct any of my points, or to talk about something I missed, it's been lovely to see peoples thoughts on my other rambles! :)

[kazoo-goddess]

So, I've wanted to make a post like this for some time, but I only just got the motivation because of an ask I got recently. I want to give a piece of advice to everyone, in general, to keep in mind when using any social media platform--advice that I wish someone had given me way back when, that I feel is important to pass on:

Not every post you see is for you. Not every post is about you.

This is not meant to be a negative thing, or a put-down! It is not meant to dismiss anyone. It's really what it says on the tin: When you see a post cross your feed, and you disagree with the post or it upsets you because you disagree with the message it has, try and keep in mind that you may not be the target audience for the post. In particular, take this into account for advice and positivity posts--The OP doesn't have anything against you personally when they share words that are meant to be uplifting that you don't agree with. A post that says "Keep going! You can do it, even if you think you can't!" probably isn't meant to put down people who are in a position where they very literally cannot do it or think their way out of their situations. Like this post, it's more likely that the OP is sharing positivity or advice that they themselves would have liked to hear.

Even this post, the one I'm writing now, might not be for you or about you! If you disagree with my viewpoint, that's okay, and there's nothing wrong with that! But I, personally, am writing this post for people who might need to hear it--people like me, who are easily upset or hurt by things they see or hear in passing, whether on the internet or real life. I'm not writing it because I want to spark an argument, I promise.

Posts aren't always meant to spread outside the OP's original circle of followers and friends. But that's a hazard of posting to public social media websites--a joke originally meant to have an audience of 12 people close to you can suddenly explode, getting thousands and thousands of views and reposts and going completely out of the OP's control overnight! It's no one's fault; it's not done maliciously. Sometimes a post or joke just resonates with others. But maybe it doesn't resonate with you--that really is okay! Just try and remember, if it gets under your skin, that it isn't for you. And if it's not for you, it's okay to just ignore it and move on! It can definitely get annoying when it's something you keep seeing over and over from friends and acquaintances reposting it, and I'd never fault anyone for losing their temper over it--but sometimes, just taking a second to remind yourself that you weren't the audience for something can really help calm you down and help you feel better and move on with your day.

While this goes for advice/positivity posts, it also goes for opinion posts! And in this case, to be completely, perfectly clear: I mean harmless opinions. A ship they like that you don't; a tv show they enjoyed that you didn't; a character they really love that you absolutely cannot stand. The kind of opinion you disagree with so much that makes you feel absolutely steaming mad. (Again: This does NOT extend to these things when they go into a genuinely harmful category. No homophobia, no pedophilia, nothing like that. I am talking about harmless, mundane disagreements.)

Maybe you see a post talking positively about a manga that makes you feel ick. The OP more than likely didn't write that post with the hopes that it would reach you specifically just to make you upset! (And if they did, that's rude, and an entirely different can of worms that this post is not about! >_>;) But the post upsets you anyway, even if it wasn't MEANT to. It's understandable, it happens! But the thing is: You don't need to engage with that post if it makes you feel bad! If you have a post blocker, you can block the post or blacklist the tag; if you don't, you may just have to scroll past. It can be so, so, so tempting to try and get in a biting comment in the replies to snap at the OP and tell them, "No, you're wrong, your opinion makes me mad and I don't want to hear it!" Trust me. I know. I get it, because I've been there! But in the grand scheme of things, it's not worth it or healthy to burn yourself out over it. It wasn't for you, and it wasn't about you! And you're better off doing what you can to take care of yourself, and preserving your health and happiness where you can.

I feel like I'm writing this with sort of childish language, and it might feel like I'm talking down to others. But really, I think I'm just writing it in a way that a younger me would have understood and taken to heart if she'd seen it. I hope that, if you read this, you can see it that way too! There's a part of me that feels scared that this post in itself could explode with notes that will be very upset with me for my thoughts on this, whatever their reasons may be, but I wouldn't be making it if I weren't prepared for that possibility. If the message I intend to get out can reach even one person who it can help, then I think that's worth writing it for. Because, I want to reiterate it one more time, because it can be so easy to forget it and get yourself furious in a self-destructive way, sometimes you have to remember:

Not every post you see is for you! Not every post is about you!