#second time something i ordered has been canceled this week btw

[monstermoviedean]

fall out boy said they don't love me :(

[tieronecrush]

Hello! Love your work! Can I get a Javier Pena story where this song is the inspo: https://m.soundcloud.com/user-265940464-259651895/i-miss-u ? Basically Y/N is upset because she thinks Javi is cheating on her because he’s being distant but he’s actually just really stressed out? Can there be lots of fluff :) thank you btw!

thank you so much for your lovely compliment and for sending in this request!!! javi p is my husband so i loveeee love love writing for him!! hope this lives up to what you imagined!!!

cold hands

javier peña x f!reader

rating: M

word count: 2.3k

summary: your boyfriend javi has been distant for the past few weeks; canceling dates, staying late at work, leaving early in the morning, and….lacking intimacy. you can't help but wonder if something is going on, or someone.

warnings: insecurity, distant relationship, thoughts about infidelity, past infidelity, established relationship, pet names, it's javi so he's obviously going to allude to sexy times, very poor highschool level spanish please educate me

“Hey, baby! You leaving the embassy now?” You ran across your kitchen to pick up the landline on the second ring, abandoning the dinner cooking on the stove in hopes that it was your boyfriend. When his deep voice on the other end confirmed it, a smile crossed your face and was evident in the excitement in your tone.

A slow sigh comes from the other end, your heart immediately sinking in your chest. You knew what was about to come next. It wasn’t the first time this has happened in the past few weeks. It wasn’t even the first time it has happened this week.

“I’m sorry, cielto. I can’t make it tonight, Messina has Murphy and me pursuing a lead that has to happen tonight…”

These phone calls with Javi have become routine at this point. Always when he’s supposed to come and spend the night or is supposed to pick you up to come to his place; he’s canceled dates and has been leaving early in the mornings to go to work when you two do get to spend the night with each other.

Always something along the lines of “Messina ordered us”, “This has to happen tonight”, or “They need us to go to Medellín”. There was one time two weeks ago when all three of those reasons were used in the same sentence.

“It’s alright, Javi. See you tomorrow night, maybe?”

“I will come by right after I get off work tomorrow to pick you up and bring you over to my place. Lo prometo, mi amor. Estaré ahí para ti. (I promise, my love. I will be there for you).”

That is when you can’t take it anymore. The promise breaks your heart because you know he can’t keep it, that he probably won’t keep it. Tears fall down your cheeks as you bite your lip to stay quiet, all of your hard work ruined when you sniffle without thinking about it.

Javi’s heard the noise and knows that you must be crying, the image of you alone and upset breaking his heart. He shifts to turn to lean against his desk, prepared to stand there and comfort you until you feel better.

Except, the next second, Murphy is standing right next to him with an impatient look on his face. He’s tapping his foot and rushing him along with his hands, gesturing to his watch and then to the door.

Javi’s chest constricts as he listens to your soft sniffles crack over the line, another sigh falling from his lips.

That second sigh sounds much more frustrated. He must be annoyed that you’re this upset over him canceling, probably wondering why you can’t understand that this is his job. He can’t just say no and head out for the night, it’s not a regular nine-to-five.

As you open your mouth to apologize to him and deescalate any annoyance from him, his voice muffles in a whisper over the phone.

“I’m sorry, cielto. I gotta go. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Okay —” is all you can get out before the line cuts dead and the dial tone sounds. You hang the phone on the wall again, freely letting out your cries now that you’re alone again.

It wasn’t always like this. Javi has been an attentive partner since you met him; at first, the two of you casually hooked up, a boot call here or there. But eventually, you or he would stay the night which evolved into making breakfast together before work, and then became the two of you spending nights together simply hanging out with nothing else happening. Finally, after a few months of that, Javi insisted and asked, multiple times, to take you on a “real date, with dinner and drinks or the movies or whatever” (his words). You’d quickly agreed after his ramble, and since that night he asked you for a date, the two of you have been together for just under a year. It’d be closer to a year and a half if you count those months spent hooking up before.

If you had been asked two months ago if the two of you were happy, you would say yes without hesitation. These days, you weren’t so sure that Javi was entirely in it anymore.

He’s been distant, the phone calls and cancellations are major evidence that something is going on. But even when the two of you are together, he falls asleep without so much as a kiss for you, sits on the other end of the couch staring into space while you watch TV, has even jumped away from you touching his shoulder when you stood next to him in your kitchen.

The behavior is all too familiar. You can’t help but connect the dots as you did with your ex — the one you were with for a few years before Javi. He had cheated on you. Avoided you for months by canceling last minute or coming up with excuses about work or family stuff. Didn’t have sex with you, kiss you, or even hold your hand when you were together. 

Javi has given you absolutely no reason for you not to trust him. Sure, you’d heard all about his previous reputation from Steve and even from Javi himself, but as far as you know, ever since the two of you had been hooking up, he hasn’t been with anyone else. A devoted, doting boyfriend. Until he became distant.

Insecurity started to fester in the space he created between the two of you. Your past influences your brain to start mulling over if this distance is to make a break up with you easier, or if maybe he’s found someone else, maybe he’s already with that someone else.

The thought seems ludicrous to part of you, but that tiny sliver of doubt is the loudest tonight.

You haven’t talked to him about how these past few weeks have been strange and cold. The thought of saying something, of confronting him, and making it all worse terrifies you. If he isn’t doing anything wrong, if he’s just going through something, you definitely don’t want to give him a reason to break up with you or to think that you don’t trust him. 

The way that he whispered to you over the phone before hanging up sticks out in your mind, and it jumps to the conclusion that he must be around someone that he has to keep a secret from, to keep you a secret from.

It’s irrational, but in your current state, you can’t bring yourself out.

Instead, dinner is chucked in the trash, and the rest of your night is spent cycling between sad, broken tears, angry stewing, and insecure spiraling. Eventually, you exhaust yourself with the constant changes of emotions, falling asleep alone.

You eventually fall asleep and wake up to a hand gently shaking your shoulder. Javi stands over you next to your bed dressed in his short-sleeve button-up and jeans that you saw him get dressed in the previous morning.

“Morning, cielito.”

Half awake, the sight of him coming home in yesterday’s clothes makes tears well in your eyes, and his hand suddenly feels cold against your skin. The only reason you think of him standing there in a day-old outfit is that he must have spent the night with someone else.

His brow furrows with concern as he sees your faint tears falling, his hand moving up to pet your hair, the motion nearly comforting you to the point where you want to forget everything that’s happened and take what he’ll give you, even if there might be someone else.

“Hey, what’s wrong? What’s got you so sad, cariño? Did something happen last night?”

You sniffle and shake your head, swiping your tears away and sitting up in bed quickly.

“Nothing, it’s nothing. Must’ve been a bad dream.”

Javi sits next to you on the edge of the bed, hand moving to your thigh and circling his thumb on it through the faded quilt covering you.

“Cielito, please tell me. We both know that you don’t sleep as peacefully as you were when you have a nightmare. I want to help you, please tell me.”

You pull the covers further over you, covering your mouth and muffling out, “I don’t wanna…Just gonna make things worse…”

Javi looks at you with a faint smile and a chuckle, shaking his head. 

“As adorable as you look, mi amor, I can’t hear you like that,” he reaches over and gently pulls the quilt from your hands, laying it down again. He takes one of your hands that have fallen to your lap, intertwining your fingers, “Can you say that again for me? Please?”

His softness is making more tears well, your eyes trained on your hands as you let out a shaky exhale, voice meek. 

“Are you…Do you still wanna be with me?”

Your gaze flicks up to Javi’s face and his thumb stops brushing against your hand. Thick brows knit together, confusion and hurt mixing in his wide eyes.

He opens his mouth to speak once and then twice, finally holding your hand tighter and matching your volume.

“Of course, I do, cariño. Why would you think I don’t want that? Have I done something to make you feel like that?”

“It’s just — You’ve been so distant the past few weeks. Canceling dates, or telling me you can’t come over, or staying late and leaving early for work. I don’t want you to be upset, but it, um, it's made me feel like maybe you wanna break up or maybe…you’ve found someone else. It’s the same thing that my ex did, and I know you’re not him but my brain just can’t shut up about what it all makes me feel or-or think about.”

“Someone else? Mi amor, you are all I want. I love you. Solo seras tu por el resto de mi vida (It will only be you for the rest of my life),” he peels the covers back from your legs and stands, nudging you over to sit on the bed. His forearm muscles flex as he pulls you across his lap, arms circling around your waist and hand running fingertips up and down your spine methodically.

“There’s been shit after shit piling up at work and Murphy’s been on my ass to stay late and come in early to try to get one step ahead of these sicarios. And then yesterday we got a lead from one of our informants that turned out to be a dead end. I’ve just been stressed, I guess. And not handling it well. I'm sorry…It’s not an excuse for neglecting you, but believe me when I say, all I think about is you. There could never be anyone else ‘cause I can’t shut up about you — you can ask Steve if you don’t believe me, but if we aren’t talking about work, I make one mention of you and he rolls his eyes.”

The thought pulls a subtle smile to your face, hand reaching up to wipe your falling tears. Javi gets there before you, his featherlight touch swiping the moisture away from your cheeks.

“You’ve made me soft, cielito. Lost my reputation as big, bad Agent Peña. Now everyone around the office just says your name and I respond a lot quicker.”

That breaks you, making you laugh genuinely and shake your head. A bright grin on your face pulls your cheeks up and glistens the salty water in your eyes, “You’re definitely lying, but it’s a cute story so I will let it slide.”

“I swear to god, I’m not bluffing. Put me in a polygraph, I’ll pass with flying colors.”

“Oh no, I believe the part about you responding faster to my name and being soft. I don’t believe that anyone at work ever thought of you as ‘big, bad Agent Peña’.” 

Your smile slides into an impish grin, Javi’s mouth dropping open and eyes widening in offense. It doesn’t last for long, a smile tugging the corners of his mouth up as he listens to you laugh at his expense. Affection floods his eyes and he looks at you tenderly, leaning in to press a sweet but supple kiss to your lips. His wide smile is still evident on his face when he pulls away, his sincere tone resonating in your chest.

“I missed you, cielto. I miss you every damn day when I go to work and have to come home alone…” his eyes flash with an idea, a definitive request following, “Move in with me. Solves the problem of you needing a new place and I can come home to my beautiful girlfriend every night. What do you say, mi amor?”

“I say, you better be a good roommate.” 

Javier wiggles his eyebrows as he leans for a kiss, words coated in his signature charm, “I definitely will be. Gonna be the best you ever had, in more ways than one. Don’t think our neighbors are gonna like us, though. Voy a tenerte gritando mi nombre todas las noches (I’m going to have you screaming my name every night).”

The phrase takes a second to translate in your head, mouth falling open in a gasp and a playful smack hitting his shoulder.

“Don’t make the neighbors hate me!”

A smug grin crosses his face as he moves to lay you down on the bed, crawling over you between your spread legs.“I think you’ll be saying something much different after the first night you’re living with me, mi amor. Estarás rogando por más (You’ll be begging for more).”

Your eyes start to roll and Javi presses his lips to yours in a slow, passionate kiss. He lifts his head away from you, adoration in his eyes.

"Te amo, mi cielito. Seré tuyo para siempre si me tienes (I love you, my heaven. I'll be yours forever if you'll have me)."

tagging some peeps from my other javi fic!

taglist: @swiftispunk @pedrit0-pascalit0 @lil-stark @joelsversion @mrsvedder12 @starsandsaints07 @wild-fauxed @rubyshouse @notes-from-my-journal @mi-place @killervirgosworld @paytonispunk @jakecockley @hydrangaces @jupitercorgi @nic0lodean @creedslove @westeros-needs-me @ikigailereve @the-casual-cat @marysucks-blog @midnightswithdearkatytspb @luamarieta @kaletastrophes @nasanatmfers @storyarcscribe @asirenbyanyothername @frustratedpanda @dieterbravo @theelishad @pascalislove @bigbutchenergee @starkovli @scrambledslut @atinylittlepain @beskarandblasters @johnwatsn @thetriumphantpanda

[zu-is-here]

Hey zu, I hope you are still doing well!

Hii Gayfish! <3 Great & determined as always, thanks ᕦ(òwó)ᕤ And it's finally Friday!~ Enjoying dark cream week and your gorgeous artworks (*⁰▿⁰*)

What about you? ♡ How's your week been??

UPD:

That's great! (ㅅ´ ˘ `) You've been really productive earlier so you deserved it all <3

Both of them are WOW \(//∇//)\ And your latest one hit me with greek au mood again so I may or may not share something later as well— ♡ For real! So many cool ideas *^*

Hoo boi— can't wait to see your first one! (๑>◡<๑) Please, don't overwork & take your time (especially with the next ones <3)

OMG the second time in your life?? (°▽°) You must be one of the few in this world with such a willpower! :D We do did :') on Monday, they all close in Russia so maybe I'll finally stop by to say goodbye xd

You're doing amazing! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) YAY holiday!! Where are you planning to go? *w* Btw I was finally approved for a visa— just as all the borders were closed xp

PFFF this cat has seen too much XD

Awww yes! (〃ω〃) Just like in that meme: "What do you normally do when I'm gone? — Wait for you to get back" xp <3

Same here! Thank youuu (*´꒳`*) Gotta try to make some ch-ch-changes first (so the original idea with dark cream will be separate & safe) *w*

That's even a double willpower to be there and not order anything! (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*) It's alright and will be even healthier this way heh (ùwú)

Woah 7 countries! \(//∇//)\ So intense indeed yet so comfortable to be guided *^* What month are you tripping? Best of luck to you!! ☆ Yeah, plans change but everything's gonna work out anyway <3

Yep, many flights are canceled but everything is stable inside the country so mb gonna discover my native lands ٩( ᐛ )و Life goes on! ♪

Good night to you in advance╰(*´︶`*)╯☆

[randomguywithwords]

As The Dust Settles: Chapter 17 (Dabi X fem!Geten Slowburn)

Chapter 17: A Frozen Heart

AO3 Link: Here

Previous Chapters: 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Long chapter ahead btw. 2.8k.

–––––––––

For fifteen minutes, Dabi watched the broken, unconscious form of Geten breathe, every inhalation causing a shudder to ripple through her body. Every time she made a hacking cough, blood spurted from her mouth, making his fists clench tighter and his teeth grind against one another with building rage. Ten minutes in, he reduced Takame’s corpse to ashes to vent some feelings. 

That was all he could do. He couldn’t move her because of all the broken bones and fractures. The one thing he could was to shift her head an inch, to ensure she didn’t choke on her blood. 

All he could do was wait. The throbbing pain in his arms from blocking that hit was nothing compared to the pain in his chest at seeing her on the verge of death, enduring a merciless pummel that she didn’t deserve. 

He felt like every breath he took injected him with even more fury that he wanted to scream, to let the world know he wanted to burn it all. 

Stupid girl. Why can’t you see that you never belonged to the MLA? Why are you getting yourself killed for them? 

Geten shuddered as she coughed out more blood that stained the rusty containers’ surface. Dabi tore his eyes away. You could have stopped Takame before he went after her. You’re weak.

Wasn’t my fault I got sent on this damn assignment, he argued on instinct.

He paused, feeling his conviction disappear upon seeing Geten’s state. He ignited his arm, feeling the fiery torture wrack his already fractured limb. It didn’t expunge the guilt, but he liked to think that it could, somehow. 

Did Shigaraki know, sending two people whose quirks don’t work well against him? 

He was confronting Shigaraki when they got back, that was for sure. But for now, his attention was drawn to her. 

Is her breathing slowing? Shit. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling helpless, so utterly helpless. C’mon, girl, don’t die on me. Please. 

When he opened them, he saw two figures rushing towards them. He recognised one of them as the soldier who had welcomed them at the airport. 

“Help her first, I’m good.” He said as he extinguished his punishment. The two of them nodded. One of them stepped forward to lay a hand on Geten.

Dabi slapped it away with a glare. “Are you an idiot? She’s in no state to be carried.”

The soldier gave a patient smile. “I’m not moving her. My special ability can teleport people to a nearby location I’m familiar with by being in physical contact. We’re bringing the both of you back to the airport where Compress will take you back to Deika.” 

“Ah,” Dabi said, leaning back, “My bad.”

With one hand each, the soldier touched each of their shoulders, while the other companion laid a hand on him. The teleporter closed his eyes.

In the next few seconds, Dabi felt a light tugging sensation, definitely smoother than the gunky horridness that was the Doctor’s method. The next moment, he found himself back at the airport on solid ground. 

“Keep her spine in line,” Dabi ordered, and the two obeyed, gingerly holding Geten in place. “How long till Compress gets here?”

“ETA ten minutes,” The teleporter announced. Dabi swallowed – If he doesn’t get here on time...

The night was quiet and of a cool temperature, but Dabi was still sweating, and the serenity of this scene was destroyed by the haggard breaths Geten was drawing. He kept looking at the sky, trying to spot a black dot in the darkness. When a seeming eternity had passed feeling more anxious by the minute, he saw it, illuminated by red lights. 

He heard the whirring sounds of the chopper as it closed in and landed. Dabi spotted the familiar orange-brown coat and the black hat of Atsuhiro Sako, and a painful smile of relief tugged at his lip. 

One thing Dabi liked about Compress was that despite his showman persona, he didn’t mince words, or speak when there was no need to. Sako raced out of the aircraft, compressed Geten and pocketed her. 

“You need me to do you, too?” Sako asked him. 

Dabi shook his head. “Let’s go. Thanks, you two.” He acknowledged the soldiers, who bowed in return and left. The two Lieutenants climbed into the helicopter and the pilot lifted off. 

“No headsets? I’m not going deaf here,” Dabi shouted over the whirring. 

“Chill, the pilot has a noise-cancelling quirk. He’ll activate it soon.” As Compress said this, the ruckus disappeared, as if they were back on the jet. Another pang of hurt poked at Dabi, thinking about his nonchalance at the start of the mission.

“You look like hell.” Compress noted Dabi’s arms and the dust and grime on his coat. 

“Yeah. Assignment was harder than we thought.”

“I presumed much. Who was it?”

“One of the advisors in my regiment, and his daughter.”

Dabi heard the surprise in Sako’s tone. “Oh, Skeptic’s gonna go mental. Not that he already isn’t.”

That got a chuckle out of Dabi, but it died as he thought about the damage Takame had done. 

“But you guys finished the mission, right?” Compress asked. 

Looking out the window at the night sky, he muttered, “Yeah.”

“You didn’t throw her under the bus, did you?” 

Dabi’s head flicked back to face Compress. “What the hell, no! Why would I?”

The performer raised his arms to placate his anger. “Sorry, last time you talked about her, you were ready to kill her or whatever’s in your head. You mean to say that you guys are on good terms now?”

Dabi sighed. “I just don’t hate her. And I have no reason to let her die. Shigaraki wouldn’t be happy.” He added as an afterthought. 

He gave a tiny sigh. “Well, I’m sure you have a thrilling story of how you two managed to get to this state.” 

“We definitely do,” Dabi said dryly. 

“Tell us all about it tomorrow. Go get some sleep tonight. The doctor has a cell activation quirk, he’ll fix you up first, then her.” 

“No, get her first. I’ll wait.” 

“Fine,” Compress relented after seeing the adamant expression on Dabi’s face. “You’re really...concerned for her. It’s weird.” 

Dabi replied with a yawn.

––––––

The doctor flipped through his clipboard. “Multiple fractures on her arms, five broken ribs, dislocated jaw and she suffered a skull fracture.”

“But you fixed all of it...right?” There was an undertone of a “You better have.” that the doctor understood, given the reassuring smile he wore at Dabi’s question. He was getting sick of people trying to calm him down with smiles, like that would help.

“I used my ability as best as I could, and it fixed most of it, but I only sped up the recovery of the cell reparations. We’ll be providing iron and calcium supplements to help her along, but she’ll be bedridden for the next few days.” 

“Any permanent damage?” 

“As long as she gets enough rest and doesn’t exert herself, she’ll be fine and back to normal in a few weeks.”

Dabi exhaled. “Alright. Thanks doc.” 

Dr Shimano nodded and left the room. Dabi looked at Geten, whose chest rose and fell at a stable pace as she slept, no longer shaking, a significant improvement from just an hour ago. 

“Sorry Geten,” He said. “I fucked up.” 

As the words left his mouth, he took a second to realise what he had just said. He blinked. When did I start caring so much? 

The air-conditioned room and the leather chair he was seated on let the remaining surges of adrenaline fade out, to be replaced by an ice-cold fist of realisation – The events that had transpired in the last couple of hours punched him in the face. 

He had not left her side once the entire time. 

You’re really...concerned for her.

He got out of his seat, staggering upon registering Mr Compress’ words from earlier with clarity, similar to receiving a fiery touch on his skin. What the hell? 

He glanced back at Geten sleeping, then he left the room with extended paces. I should get back to my room. Yeah, that’s a good idea. He pushed all thoughts of the girl out of his mind, focusing on the inevitable debrief from him the next council meeting, since she couldn’t –

He swore under his breath. Stop thinking about her. These thoughts, feelings, whatever they were. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was unnatural. Foreign. Probably dangerous. 

––––––––

The next morning’s meeting convened, in the absence of Lieutenant Apocrypha, with Dabi’s debrief of the mission. 

“Alright, Dabi, care to explain what happened?” Shigaraki drummed his fingers on the table.

Dabi stood up, wearing his trademark lazy expression, though he was actually fatigued. “So our target turned out to be a Mihara Takame, daughter of Shingu Takame, who was an advisor to Violet Regiment.” 

He noted the widened eyes of the old MLA executives. Hanabata’s gaze flickered between the desk and him. And was that a bead of sweat rolling down Skeptic’s forehead? It might have been his imagination.

“What?” Re-destro gaped, then turned to Shigaraki. “Grand Commander, I apologise deeply for this treachery. I had no idea —“ 

Shigaraki waved his hand. “Never mind about that first. Continue.”

“We got into a fight, which turned out bad for Apocrypha, who took most of the damage, but I managed to finish the assignment.” 

“Yeah, that’s the part I wanna know.” Shigaraki leaned forward, clasping his hands together. “Why did you guys end up taking the beating you did?” 

“Takame’s quirk was a shitty matchup against mine and hers. He just wouldn’t feel any pain. Impossible to incapacitate him.”

“And Apocrypha’s ice did nothing?” 

“No, it didn’t hinder him much.” 

“Then how did you kill both of them?” 

“I took out the woman first.” Dabi mimed twisting a neck. “For her old man, I concentrated my flames onto his head. Carbonized it. He probably died from brain failure or something.”

“Ah, copying Endeavour now, eh?” A small grin made Dabi bristle, though he concealed it. 

He shrugged. “What can I say? He’s got decent moves to copy, and I have the firepower to match his. Speaking of which, you might want to send a team to dispose of the body. I didn’t burn up the girl, only Takame.” 

Shigaraki frowned. “Why don’t you do it?” 

“Excuse me?” The coldness in the room spiked as the two stared at each other with venom. 

“I don’t know why you could cremate the larger-sized adult male but not the small girl. Go fix your mess.” 

“You’re really going to send me all the way back just to burn one more corpse?” 

“Yep.” Shigaraki’s eyes were still fixated on him, as though daring him to act out. What do you want? Something about the way his leader questioned him was off. Hell, he was never so interested in these small problems that cropped up. Dabi had talked to Twice before the meeting. According to him, a small riot broke out in the town centre over Shigaraki’s leadership, and the latter didn’t seem to care. 

Did you send the hit squad on us? Dabi’s eyes swept the room. Hanabata and Skeptic’s faces were whiter than normal, but that was because Takame was on their list that Apocrypha freaked out so much about, right? 

Dabi was about to argue further, but decided against it. He needed answers, and he doubted anyone in the room would offer anything worthwhile. Maybe going back would be helpful. 

He spun around and walked towards the door. “Fine. I’ll get to it now. Prep the jet, Skeptic.”

Without waiting for an answer, or for Shigaraki to stop him, he left the room, slamming the door behind him with a growl. He had to admit, though, that the solitude and this menial task given to him allowed him time to think about everything that had happened last night, and he kept coming back to the one name.

Mesa. 

That was all he got from the thug. A name that he couldn’t even be sure was real. Dabi was somewhat confident it was a legitimate answer: the thug was terrified of dying, especially after Dabi used his partner as a demonstration. 

When one was about to die, truths became more apparent. They stopped lying and told the truth, whether one was on their deathbed or backed up against an alley. 

Sensei had done the same thing. 

Dabi frowned, and quickened his pace. Which reminded him...that factory, it looks similar to the one that night. Guess I’ll look around there too. 

He emerged from the underground tunnel to the airport, a convenient distance from the mansion. And his face blanched. Why the fuck is she here? 

Geten was talking with the pilot, her posture bent, and Dabi didn’t need a doctor to tell him she was still injured. 

He marched up to her and waved off the pilot. “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m going back.” She said, her face tight with pain. Or defiance. One worried him, the other annoyed. 

“No, you’re not. You’re still fucked up, you’re going back to the hospital.” He pointed away from the helicopter beside both of them, which reminded him of a parent sending a kid to their room. 

And just like the kid, she was acting like a brat. “I need to go back. Please. How did you even know I was here?” 

“I didn’t.”

“So you’re going back to Tokugawa?” 

Dabi bit back a retort. “No,” he tried. 

Her eyes narrowed. “If you’re going, I’m going.” 

Dabi envied Sako for the issues he could solve with his quirk with one tap. He stretched his sigh out. “Alright. Fine. One condition.” 

“What?” 

“Go take a shower and change out of this. You look and smell like shit.” 

Geten seemed to be in no mood to shoot a returning insult. She nodded. 

–––––––––

The two took a helicopter ride, which Dabi figured was Skeptic’s way of flipping him off — he was in the mood for another private jet ride, at least up till Geten showed up. 

Along the way, Dabi explained what had happened while she was unconscious or hospitalised. She nodded, rather numbly, to everything. He felt like pressing her on why wanted to come along, but she looked to be in such a somber mood Dabi kept quiet once he was done. 

“Thank you,” Geten said, which caught Dabi off-guard. 

He stared at her. “Huh?” 

But she lapsed back into silence. 

Takame’s words really affected her, huh? He got the gist of it: Takame was pissed off. Dabi was too focused on finishing the job, and the concussion dulled his senses, even as he crept up to the both of them. He didn’t hear everything Takame said, but enough of it. 

He still had no idea what she was doing here. Guess he would find out. 

They touched down a while later, took another motorbike ride, also in silence, to the factory. When they got off, there was a rush in her step, as though in anxiety, to reach the site of their Pyrrhic victory. Although, Dabi managed to keep pace with her. 

Mihara’s body was still there, and the imprint of Shingu was visible on the stone ground. Geten took out some ice from her pocket and used them to shut her wide eyes, then adjust her broken neck. She looked like she was sleeping. 

Next, she fashioned her ice into a platform which carried the young woman. Dabi quietly watched all this unfold, not wanting to interrupt whatever she was doing. 

Then Geten walked towards the nearby forest. Taking out more ice, she formed a wide, curved object, which she used to shovel dirt. 

Oh, so that’s what she’s doing. 

As if in a trance-like state, he picked up some sticks off the ground, lit the tip of them and passed three to Geten, who had laid Mihara’s body in the grave and filled it with dirt. 

She looked at the makeshift joss sticks, then at him, and gave a quivering smile. She knelt down to place them on top of the grave. 

As she tried to stand up, she stumbled a bit with a wince of pain. Dabi grabbed her shoulders to steady her. “Hey. Don’t stress yourself.” 

Her footing is off, he noted that, as well as her constant flinching. Her ribs were probably still hurting. 

He sighed and muttered, “You – You can lean on me. Just don’t tell anyone I said that.” 

“I’m fine,” She said with less believability than a hero’s promise. But she did, after a pause, rest her head on his shoulder, as the two stared at the blue flame that slowly died, its bright azure radiance leaving small spots in their eyes. 

“Why’s it seem like you trust me all of a sudden?” Dabi had to ask. 

After a moment of silence, Geten mumbled, “I think...I think I just do. You’re not the worst.” 

That’s a first. 

“So why’d you bury her?” 

“Because…” She looked at her hands. “They didn’t deserve it. It’s weird, isn’t it? I got beat up so much by them, but I’m still respecting her.”

“No, it’s not weird. It means…” Dabi considered his next few words. “It means your heart isn’t cold.” 

––––––––

Nice chapter to write, though very long. I realised I had a lot to say so this is sorta still part of this arc, but I’m starting to transition to the next. And now writing these two just became a lot harder, given the change in character. 

So if you guys have any feedback on whether I’m too OOC on them, given what’s happened to them, do let me know. I’d appreciate it. I’m especially worried about my portrayal of Dabi this chapter, whether he’s acting too nice (for his character) too abruptly. 

I’ll have to do a long re-read of the whole story after a while to reboot and see whether their character progression is plausible. 

Nevertheless I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. 

And also yeah we’re starting to get into some Dabiten stuff. Should be fun, and hard to write. 

[a-crimson-lion]

Happy Birthday, Eri!

[Before we begin appreciating the unicorn child, here's a little skit...]

Me: I have a meticulous schedule for my fanfictions so that I can focus on them without it overwhelming my real life responsiblities-

@rex101111: It's my birthday tomorrow!

Me: ...fudge.

[A few weeks later...]

Me: Okay, so my schedule might have experienced a bit of a curve ball, but who cares? Rex had a good birthday, and I got to practice writing! It's a win-win. Besides, now I can continue focusing on the rest of my sche-

Rex101111: Eri's birthday is coming up!

Me: ...so the schedule is just a guideline now.

[No shade on you, Rex! I still adore you!]

So yeah, today is Eri's birthday, so I made a fic. Check it out here:

Of course, some of you might remember the whole "Multiverse Shenanigans" I've been doing for a while (even before Rex's birthday fic), and since I probably won't get the time to properly flesh them out in fic, I figured I might as well give a guideline here. Fair warning: the list is long!

Eri (aka Prime Eri, from My Hero Academia)

She needs no explanation. She's small, she's pure, and we all love her as much as she loves apples.

Eri (aka Eri Midoriya, from My Vigilante: Illegal Hero Dekiru)

Same as Prime Eri, but her hair is dyed green. Her Izuku saved her from Overhaul before the events of cannon, so she's a lot more cheerful and confident than Prime Eri. She also learns how to use a sword after Christmas, because she's as reckless as her vigilante brother.

Eri (from My Villain: Deku)

This Eri has her hair dyed blonde, as a tribute to Mirio (and possibly All Might). Her Izuku is a villain, but he eventually renounced the title after he put his life on the line for her during the Shie Hassaikai raid. At her request, this Izuku took her quirk (he's got All For One, btw) and gave her a healing quirk instead, so she doesn't have her horn. She's a bit more subdued compared to prime Eri, but she's just as kind.

Eri (from the DadMight AU)

This Eri lives in a world where All Might is Izuku's biological father. Since most of the characters are simply updated version of previous heroes (Ochako succeeds Thirteen, Hitoshi succeeds Eraserhead, Kyoka succeeds Mic, etc.), Eri actually takes after Overhaul in this AU. She even has his black hair and yellow eyes (she also lacks a horn), with a cuter version of the bird mask and even Overhaul's quirk. Overhaul himself actually has some genuine affection towards this Eri (he's probably an uncle or something actually related to her in this AU), but since he's a bastard, he tries to brainwash Eri to only trust and be loyal to him, which really takes a toll on her. Unfortunately for Overhaul, Izuku runs into Eri, and upon seeing what actual concern and affection look like, she ultimately decides to break away from Overhaul (since Eri doesn't have Rewind in this AU, the Yakuza's plan was to capture Eraserhead). She wears green gloves to remind her of Izuku and to keep her from using her Quirk, which reminds her of Overhaul.

Juto (from the Y-Squad)

And now we start to meet the teen Eris. This Eri happens to be a 10th holder of One For All. She's often recognizable by her red-colored replica of Izuku's hero costume. Her original home was in a fallen timeline where villains grew to powerful and killed off the heroes. Izuku ended up passing OFA onto Eri shortly before he was murdered by Overhaul. To make matters worse, Eri was also kidnapped and brainwashed into becoming one of Overhaul's enforcers. Luckily, a group of dimension hoppers (led by an alternate version of Izuku) ended up crashing into that particular dimension. That Izuku (dubbed "Y") gave Overhaul a sound beating before undoing Juto's brainwashing, and allowing her to join their party. She spends her days traversing the multiverse with her new family, whom she swears to protect.

Eri (aka Teen Eri, from Lost Cause)

This is a minor spoiler for those who read my Lost Cause fanfiction. She's basically the same as Prime Eri, but she's older. Once she gets saved by Izuku and co., Eri takes after Eraserhead, using a black jumpsuit and two capture weapons wrapped around her wrist. She's on her way to becoming a promising Pro Hero in the future...

Jikan (from Shift of Fate)

I've had the concept of Jikan in my head for a while. She's identifiable by her signature white suit and cloak. She comes from a world where she, Izuku, and Tenko are all the same age. Early on, Izuku saved Tenko from a villain attack, leaving Inko to raise Tenko while Izuku was unwittingly kidnapped by the League of Villains. Unfortunately, the Shie Hassaikai happen to be one of the League's benefactors, so instead of Tomura Shigaraki, All For One's successor is Erika Chisaki, possessing both the Rewind and Decay Quirk. (Sidenote: Tenko was born with decay, but AFO stole it and gave it to Eri, so she usually has to keep both of her Quirks active in order for them to cancel one another out.) Luckily for Erika, Izuku is both friendly and stubborn, so he manages to start breaking down Erika's brainwashing. She doesn't fully break free until Kamino Ward, where Eri finally reclaims her real name and her Quirks mutates into a single Quirk: Chronokinesis. She teams up with Izuku (who was given the Quirks Teleport, Analysis, and Insomniac) and Tenko (now the 9th Wielder of OFA) to kick the League's ass. She now lives happily with her adoptive brothers under the protection of UA.

Canary (from Second Chance)

This Eri comes from a timeline where the Yakuza Raid failed, killing Izuku and Nighteye and turning Mirio into OFA's 10th holder. Overhaul becomes even more of an asshole, and Eri becomes all the more broken. However, Mirio manages to track them down, finally defeating Overhaul and rescuing Eri. The first few days after Eri's rescue, she thinks that this is a cruel dream she'll wake up from. When she realizes that's not the case, she bursts into tears, hugging Mirio and sobbing all the while. Izuku's ghosts looks fondly at the pair, keeping an eye on the both of them since the raid.

Welp, that's all the time I got! Let me know if you want to see more Dimensional Variants like these. And once again, Happy Birthday Eri!

P.S. Check out Rex's fic for her birthday. It's really good!

-Crimson Lion (21 December 2019)

[we-search-health]

how to get you in good shape, with 17 tips.

“Nothing’s better than the wind to your back, the sun in front of you, and your friends beside you.” – Aaron Douglas Trimble

While getting in shape has been a start-and-stop-and-start-again affair for me over the last couple years, over the long run, I’ve become fitter than ever.

I’ve dropped more than 30 pounds altogether (or about 2 stone 6, for the British-inclined among you), I run regularly, I’ve become more consistent with strength training, and I’ve dropped several sizes in clothes.

I’m not saying all that to brag. If you saw the details of how I got here, it’s nothing to be proud of — I ran a marathon at the end of 2006 and then did a short triathlon but then stopped exercising altogether for awhile. I became a vegetarian and was eating very healthily (is that a word?) … but then I slowly started eating more junk food and gaining weight.

Recently, I dropped sweets from my diet (cakes, pies, donuts, candy, CHOCOLATE!, sodas, etc.), and surprisingly I don’t really miss them. I’ve been exercising with my sister and my wife on alternate days and it’s been great. I still have more pounds to drop, but I can’t complain. I’m healthy.

The ups-and-downs of my fitness efforts have highlighted some important points for me. Key among those points: don’t quit. If you mess up, and stop for awhile, that doesn’t mean you should quit altogether. Just keep going. You’ll get there eventually.

And during this journey, which hasn’t stopped and probably won’t ever stop, and I’ve learned a lot over these last couple of years, about what works and what doesn’t.

What follows are some of the more important truths I’ve learned, in the trenches, that I’d like to share with you. Take from them what you will — everyone will find different things that work for them, but I think just about all of them are important to share.

“Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.” – Buddha

Small steps. That you get fitter in stages, as you exercise more, is pretty obvious I think. You might start out just walking, but as you get fitter, you might add some slow jogging to your routine. And then eventually you’re running three miles, several stages later. However, this really applies to everything, including diet, and many people don’t realize that. You shouldn’t try to change your entire diet overnight — do it in stages. Small steps, one thing at a time, and you’ll get there. Just start eating more fruits at first, for example. Then cut out sodas. Then eat more veggies for dinner. Then change your white bread for whole wheat bread. Then cut out candy at work. And so on. The thing is, you get used to each thing after awhile, and so the changes don’t seem drastic. A year later, and you’re eating extremely healthily (that word again), and you can’t imagine going back to your old diet. Small steps — this is extremely key, to both diet and exercise.

Find short-term rewards. Most people quit their diet or exercise program because they’re looking for immediate results. And they’re discouraged when they don’t get them. But you won’t get immediate results. One fitness trainer said something like, “After a month, you’ll start feeling some results. After two months, you’ll start noticing results. After three months, others will start noticing.” And that’s pretty true — it takes months before you start to see the results you want … but in the meantime, you have to look for other things to keep you going. Those shorter-term rewards could be simple things like the great feeling you get after a workout — that helps me stay motivated. Or you could give yourself a treat (something healthy, preferably) or buy a book or something like that.

Track your progress. The scale is probably the most popular way to see your progress, but other ways include measuring your waist, or taking photos of yourself each month. You could also track your performance — for example, do a 5K every month to see if you’re getting faster, or log your miles to see them increase. However you do it, you should have some kind of objective way to see your progress over the weeks and months. Otherwise, you might not really notice the difference — but the numbers or pictures will.

Enjoy yourself. Very very important. If you see your exercise as extremely difficult, or painful, you won’t be able to sustain it for long. You’ll quit. If you see your diet as very restrictive, or torture, you’ll go back to junk food in a short while. You must find exercise that you enjoy, and find healthy foods that taste good to you. Maybe not chocolate cake good, but good nonetheless. Experiment with new recipes until you find ones you absolutely love. (Try my soup and chili recipes for example.) Above all, enjoy the whole process. It’s what’s kept me doing it — I love my new life.

Never ever give up. Maybe the most important truth on this list. If you give up, you won’t get to your goal. Very obvious, I know, but the problem is that people don’t put this into action. Messing up by falling back into junk food or stopping exercise — that happens. Life gets in the way. No one is perfect. Just forget about that stuff, and move on. Learn from your failures, adjust your plan to prevent the same thing from happening again, and start again. If you stop, that’s OK — just start again. Always start again. If you do that, there’s no way you won’t eventually get to your goal.

Get a workout partner. I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s been the key to my most recent exercise success. I began running with my sister, Katrina (who btw is an incredible inspiration — she’s come a very long way in the last year), and even though we’re at different levels, we really enjoy our runs. When we agree to meet at 5 a.m. for a run, I have to be there, or I disappoint her. And sure, once in awhile we cancel appointments, but most of the time we’re there, and we run, and that’s the important thing. These months of running with her have really gotten me in much better shape. Now I’m also running with my wife, so having two workout partners is taking me to another level. Get a workout partner. Best move I’ve ever made.

Brush your teeth after dinner. This is such a simple thing, but it really helps. It makes you have that fresh, clean feeling in your mouth, and makes you not want to eat an after-dinner snack. For me, after-dinner snacks or desserts are what ruin my diet a lot of the time.

Vary your workouts. This helps keep things fresh and fun. For runners, for example, don’t just do 3 miles every day at the same pace. Vary the distance, the route, the speed. Do intervals. And do stuff other than running — go hiking, go biking, play basketball, do strength training, swim, paddle. Mixing it up will get you in even better shape, challenging your body in new ways, and making it an enjoyable process.

Focus. There are always a lot of things we want to accomplish, goals we want to focus on … but by spreading ourselves thin, we lose focus and energy. Focus on one thing at a time in order to really get it ingrained as a habit. For example, for one month, focus on adding healthier foods to your diet (and dropping some of the less healthy ones). After that month, it’ll be ingrained. The next month, add walking or jogging or something like that, and only focus on that. One goal at a time, one month at a time, and you’ll get healthy.

Rest is important. People who really get into exercise often forget this. Without rest, exercise just keeps breaking down our muscles, and they don’t have time to recover and grow. The exercise puts stress on our bodies, and the rest allows them to adapt and improve. Without the rest, they can’t really improve. You should always follow a day of hard workouts with a day of rest. If you’ve been exercising a long time (and then you probably don’t need this article), you can do hard-easy days, or rotate different types of exercises so that parts of your body are getting rest on different days, but even then always have at least one day of complete rest, or you’ll get burned out.

Shoot for a year or two, not a few weeks. There are no instant fitness fixes, no matter what that website or magazine promises. Don’t believe them. Getting fit and healthy takes time, and should be gradual. If you’ve got a long way to go, aim to be healthy after a year. Those with a very long way might shoot for two years. Those closer to the goal could try for 6 months. Main thing: gradual improvement.

Focus on your diet first. I’m a huge proponent of exercise for health and other benefits, but if you’re looking to lose weight and/or fat, the biggest factor is diet. You can cut out more calories from what you eat than you can burn with exercise. Of course, both should be vital components of your fitness regiment, but start on diet first, then add exercise. Don’t think that because you are exercising you can eat whatever you want (unless you’re a marathoner or triathlete or something like that) — you won’t reach your fitness goals that way, most likely.

Don’t compare yourself to magazine models. Seriously. I’m sure we’ve all done this, wishing we looked like that slim or cut or buff model on the cover of a magazine. It’s natural. However, it’s not healthy. First of all, genetics plays a key factor in how these models look — most of us don’t have body types like that. Second, these models don’t usually look like that — they go on special diets a couple weeks before a photo shoot, so they look perfect for that day. Third, most of these magazines do some pretty heavy photoshopping. And fourth, what’s important is getting a healthy body image, not trying to look like a perfect model. Focus on health, not appearance.

Find the exercise that works for you. I love running, but not everybody is born to be a runner. Many people enjoy swimming or water aerobics. Many like lifting weights. Many like cycling, or tae bo, or Pilates. Others like sports like basketball or soccer or rugby. It doesn’t really matter what you choose, as long as you’re moving and you enjoy what you’re doing. Also find the solution that works best: working at the gym, going on the road (running and cycling, for example), working out at home (which I do), etc. Choose the one that you’re most likely to stick to.

Learn to be present. Going back to one of the key principles above, “enjoy yourself”, one of the best ways to do that is to learn to really be present when you exercise and eat. For example, when you run, try to keep your mind in the moment, and feel your body and your breathing, and experience your surroundings as your run past them. As you eat, really taste the food and feel the textures, instead of gobbling it down mindlessly. It makes the entire experience much more enjoyable.

Don’t let your body adapt too much. Sometimes we hit plateaus, where we’re still doing the same exercise but not really improving. The reason is that you have to keep changing things, either taking your exercise to a slightly higher level (gradually), or giving it new angles or routines. Otherwise, your body adapts to doing the same exercise over and over, and it stops improving. Once you start hitting a plateau, take it to a new level by increasing intensity or length of time in some way.

Get inspired. Another key concept for me. I like to read blogs or websites that show me how others have been successful. One Zen Habits reader, for example, recently gave me some inspiration with his blog, Fat Man Unleashed. He’s doing a great job, making amazing progress, and it’s inspirational. Fitness magazines, for me, began to seem useless, because they just rehash the same articles over and over. But then I realized that I like to read these magazines for the inspiration, not the information. Find something to inspire you and it’ll keep you going.

“I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.” – Mark Twain

[jvnxa]

zoe kravitz. cis female. she/her.  ／ alissa adelman aka jynx just pulled up blasting celebrity skin by hole— that song is so them! you know, for a twenty-five year old singer, i’ve heard they’re really volatile, but that they make up for it by being so empathetic. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say oversized band tees, missed call notifications, and loose pages falling out of an overstuffed notebook. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble! (sam, 22, est, she/her)

jynx aka alissa adelman was born and raised in nyc’s upper east side. her father is one of those important wall street bigwigs and...all she knows about her mother is that she’s never known her mother.

her dad was the typical rich successful man who showered his child in all of the presents and money that she could ever ask for in order to make up for the fact that he was always too busy working to ever spend any actual time with her and instead left jynx to be raised by a revolving door of nannies

from a young age it was obvious that jynx had a talent for music & ofc her dad was willing to pay for her lessons so long as it kept her occupied so she started with singing and piano but moved on to learn a few other instruments including the guitar and even began dipping her toes into songwriting. by the age of 14 she had written and recorded a whole demo album in her bedroom and once it was done, she started sneaking out at night so that she could go hang around the local big name recording studios in the hopes that she would catch a producer leaving for the day and hopefully convince them to listen to her demo

she never did

sis really tried though. now ofc her dad could’ve paid a record company to just hand her a contract and she knew that, but dammit. jynx wanted music to be her lifelong career and she wanted to earn it herself. she knew that she was genuinely talented even though her demo album was probs lowkey garbage lmao and she knew that she could be successful, and she didn’t want anyone to be able to say that she didn’t truly work for her career

she was so determined that she spent y e a r s relentlessly hounding record companies but no one would give her the time of day, so she developed a different strategy after seeing some flyers around the city and at the age of 16 she joined a local bar band who happened to seeking a lead singer...and got kicked out like two weeks later for being absolutely fucking insufferable

join local band in need of a lead singer. attempt to overhaul said band and push all of the other members into the background. face resistance from said other members. get angry, lash out, get kicked out of the band, repeat. it was a vicious cycle that went on for a couple years.

it was while she was in the midst of this vicious cycle that she met her (now ex) boyfriend and they were...whew. A WHOLE MESS. he was the frontman of a different band that was gaining more and more popularity by the day. he was older and he seemed so cool, and so ofc jynx fell for him hard. they got together and appeared to be madly in love, but all was not perfect at all.

they were veeeery on and off, the type of couple to get in a screaming match and “break up” over nothing only to get back together like ten minutes later. this guy also wound up getting jynx hooked on drugs, getting her arrested, getting her name plastered all over the tabloids for everything except her music, which was something that she still hadn’t quite found her footing in yet

until finally at the age of 19 she landed a record deal and, at the age of 21 after a lot of delays that had to do with her perfectionist nature and tumultuous relationship her first album was released and turned out to be a major success with all of the singles charting, lots of streams and airplay and a sold out debut tour that would unfortunately get cut short

so basically what happened was her bf showed up after one of her concerts and ofc they got high together, but then jynx started to overdose. she passed out, but her bf thought she was dead and ofc he freaked out so, uh...he ran. literally bolted out of her tour bus and jynx has not seen him since

fortunately she was found by someone else in time and rushed to the hospital. of course the rest of her tour was cancelled so that she could recover and she subsequently did the obligatory few months in rehab only to get out and immediately go back to using. that was over a year ago now and since then she’s been working on her second album aaaand it’s almost finished! people are starting to wonder what’s taking her so long and the answer is honestly just the fact that she’s nearly impossible to work with tbh

and now for some quick little fun facts!

jynx is jynx, not alissa. she uses the stage name in order to a) be pretentious and b) distance herself from her family name as a way to shut down the argument that it’s the only reason why she’s famous/successful. as for where the name came from? well, a jinx is defined as a person or thing that brings bad luck. and if you just read that whole pointless and Extra™ af bio, then you know that jynx is no stranger to bad luck. as for why it’s a y instead of an i? it’s bc misspelling things is edgy and cool that’s literally it. but yeah. jynx, not alissa, or she’ll get all huffy.

pan af, has dated & hooked up with people both before and after her disaster bf and sometimes while they were “broken up” for all of ten minutes. tbh she kinda...gets with people solely to use them as songwriting material and then just dumps them when she’s gotten some material out of them? yikes! so she can be a bit of a heartbreaker.

since music is really the only thing in her life that she takes seriously, it’s what most of her energy tends to go into and it’s why she can be so impossible to work with. she’s always full steam ahead and she always thinks that she’s right, which doesn’t really pair well with the fact that she’s also very stubborn. recording studio employees have literally quit on her in the middle of a song more than once before bc they just couldn’t deal with her anymore. she’s that bad.

she’s quite intelligent and empathetic and genuinely talented but unfortunately her stubbornness and perfectionism and short temper often overshadow her best qualities and become all that people are able to see when they look at her. jynx, surprisingly, doesn’t seem to realize that dialing back the attitude might help her in her quest to be just be taken seriously for fuck’s sake

her only vc rn is halsey btw!

some potential wc i’m terrible at thinking of these so please don’t feel limited by this list!

best friends

step siblings

cousins

perhaps someone from her mom’s side of the fam

attempted good influence

exes ( she probs has a bunch who hate her how very hal of her )

former / current hookups ( again, she probably has a bunch )

ex friends / bridges she’s burned ( probs has more of these than anything else lmao )

straight up enemies

other singers or musicians who have tried to work with her

people she’s written songs about!

[sunshinechii-scenarios]

For Eden

✿ Nct’s Renjun x Female!Reader ✿ Fluff ✿ 2.4k words ✿ Not requested ✿ Written by Chii ✿ Masterlist!

@masterninjacow​ inspired the whole Renjun in a café setting uwu please check out their blog!!!! :(( I’m so soft for Renjun it’s insane. Just like a little info Renjun is like a good 22 here, working to get some pocket money for college! (I feel that) You (Aphrodite/Eden) appears to be in her early 20s! Chenle is Cupid and not Aphrodite's son in this AU, Jaemin is Zeus and Hera is Jeno BTW! 

I was able to format the following divider for only this blog’s use so please don’t take it or use in your own posts, thank you. - Chii

       For someone whose job description was literally ‘Goddess of Love’, finding love was hard. 24 hours, 7 days a week you've helped others find love. You've helped countless girls confess their love before handing them off to Ares when they would get rejected. You've blessed as many couples as you could a day. You aided and led Cupid in sending thousands of arrows flying, creating a shield of gold and pink in the sky on Valentines day. Yet, you can’t find someone who would love you like you love them.

        Countless gods would find their way to you, Aphrodite, asking for help. Countless gods were outside the gold gates, waiting to be blessed by you. At this point, you felt less like a goddess and more like a relationship therapist. All some of these people needed were to talk to each other instead of expecting you to wave all their issues away.

        You needed a break. You needed to get away from all the work you loaded onto yourself this past month. You stopped Cupid from opening the gate to let the next person in and told him to come towards you.

“Chenle?” You called his name out. He knew by the tone of your voice that you weren’t going to say something good.

“Yes?” He answered as he nervously clicked the pen he had in his hand.

“Cancel everything.”

“Are you sure?” He started to panic. There would be a setback of around a hundred gods if he canceled everything for day. He set aside his mental breakdown before looking up at you. Your skin had been drained of its radiance. The patches under your eyes looked bruised and you were massaging your temples. Chenle sighed, you were too good of a goddess. You worked past the regular hours to make people happy. You definitely deserve a break.

“Very.” You could already imagine Zeus blowing up another fountain in anger when he finds out you broke away from your job. Chenle nodded and walked outside the gates. You heard his soft voice tell everyone the bad news. Not even half a second later, there were shouts of anger. You smiled softly when he came back into the room.

“You have the day off, go visit Jisung.” A smile played widely on his lips. He ran over to give you a quick kiss on the cheek before thanking you.

“Tell him I say hi!” You scream out to him as he ran out of the room. You smiled at his eagerness to visit his close friend. That smile fell with the growing of angry yelling outside your door. You rolled your eyes and let the sound drown out as you walked to the lobby.

        You took the ride down to the mortal realm. Your flowy white toga turning into an outfit you didn’t pay much detail too. All you know is that you felt your sandals turn into a pair of dusty pink heels and that a white bag came into your clutch while your enchanted clipboard turned into a phone that started ringing and vibrating right away. Gods were messaging you, needing your aid. You sighed at the screen before turning the phone on silent as you shoved it into the bag and waited for the ride to end. 

        Once the ride ended, you found yourself in the lobby of a hotel. One of Zeus�� multiple affairs owned it and agreed to make one of the exits to Olympus inside of it. You mentally thanked Zeus for the one thing he did right. Your favorite café was no more than a few steps away from the hotel. You gently smiled at the doorman when he opened the door for you, you could hear his heart skip a beat. A perk of being Aphrodite.

        The sun greeted you with its warmth and the winds brushed against your face as you waited for the streetlight to turn red when you stood at the crossroad. As a crowd surrounded you, you heard whispers from the boys behind you. Nasty comments came out of their mouths, disgusting enough to make you want to put a curse on them. You sighed, this is why romance is dead. You tried your best to avoid it. You walked across the street once the light turned. A few more steps and you stood in front of your favorite mortal place in the world. It was a small café in Seoul. 

        The original owners that had passed away years ago were your favorite couple. They often left offerings for you and prayed for your well-being in their nightly prayers. You were just a Greek Goddess but it felt nice to be cared for. It broke your heart when they passed. You went to their wake and left flowers every year on their anniversary. They no longer had family who remembered them, at least you did. Your heart ached when you no longer saw flowers waiting for them or things being burned for them. You remember the ring that the husband gave to the wife. It was a simple silver band. They didn't need a lot to be happy and that made you want to continue our job. You remembered how her face lit up, how happily she cried and how the two of them thanked you for blessing them for love. You couldn’t thank them back as you watched them through the mirror that hung in your office but you cried along with them that day.

        Your mind wanders back to the ring. It's been missing for such a long time that you gave up trying to find it and returning it to the wife. You shook the sad thoughts away and thought about happier things. There was a seat in the back of the café by a window. That window was where the wife announced she was having her first child to her husband, that child would announce that she was giving her parents grandchildren and so on for a few more generations. A smile appeared on your lips as you pushed the doors of the café.

        The scent of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods filled your senses. The bells rang gently as you pushed the doors. The light wood floor boards complimented the white walls. Orb plants hung from the ceiling and potted plants lined the big windows that scattered around the café. There was natural sunlight everywhere. It would have made Demeter happy for sure. You saw friends sitting, couples talking, family enjoying time with each other.

        You walked towards the front counter. There was a line but you didn't mind, this gave you time to let your eyes travel around the blackboard menu that was hung up. Step by step, you found yourself at the counter and still didn’t know what to order. You were about to let the person behind you order first but a figure ran behind the employee that was waiting on your order. That’s when you spotted him behind the white marble counter of the café. His beret was pinned to his head. It made sense. He was moving quicker than Hermes could deliver. There was a plethora of order tickets sticking out from his dark brown apron. His hands worked fast on the espresso machine, his sparkling eyes scanning for any flaws in his plating before calling a name out. The employee noticed your eyes moving towards the person behind him.

"That's Renjun. He's new and has,” he held his hands up and wiggled his fingers, “magic hands, everyone asks for their drinks to be made by him,” he said as he looked behind him to see Renjun running back and forth. 

"He seems hardworking," you tore your eyes away to look up to the menu again, "I'll take whatever he recommends, a medium."

The employee nodded and picked up a cup. He held a pen to a notepad and looked up, "name?"

You paused before answering, "Eden, I'll be sitting by the window back there if that's alright.”

He nodded as he focused on writing your order down. You took a look at his name tag on his brown apron, “thank you, Mark,” you heard his heart skipped.

You started to walk away but the heavy scent of chocolate made you stop and crave for something similar,"oh, can you throw in a chocolate croissant for me?" "Of course!" You smiled toward Mark as you started to walk towards the seat. Regrettably, a couple got there first. You stopped in your spot and looked around, there was a seat by the door. You made your way there, your pale pink heels clicked against the wood as you pulled out the chair and put your bag in the table. It was a table with beautiful metal legs and a piece of round glass on top. You were able to watch the world from the window that was a table away from you. You let the sun soak into your skin. You let out a breath and bathed in the warmth for as long as you could.

        Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Your phone started to ring louder and louder. Customers around you started to stare. You rolled your eyes before taking the phone out  of the bag and picking it up.

“What,” you said sternly. You weren’t in the mood to talk to Zeus right now because he wasn’t going to be in a good mood.

“Don’t ‘what’ me. You left your station,” he growled into the phone. You could hear people complaining behind him.

“Listen, Jaemin, I need a break. You’re going to let me off the hook before I tell Jeno about your affairs,” you said lowly into the phone. You knew better than to threaten Zeus but you couldn’t help it. Especially when you needed a break from working. You knew how whipped Jaemin was for Jeno but he couldn’t help his nature.

“You wouldn’t tell Hera, he would wreak havoc.” You’ve seen Jeno when he was upset, you were the first person he went to and luckily the last because you were able to convince him to not end a thousand and one marriages. 

“Maybe I would. Let me go, have someone else deal with it.” Your lips raised into the sly smile.

“I hate you.”

“Love you!” You happily ended the call before he could say anything else but he started to spam your text messages. You sighed, read through them and finally replied once he was finished.

        Back behind the counter, your order was luckily the last drink Renjun had to make before going on his 15 minute break. He placed your rose milk tea latte on a saucer that matched the white cup it was in. The light brown drink carried the aroma of roses and had a very slight pink tint to it. Carefully, he carried the saucer to the wooden serving tray and walked towards the display after to use a pair of tongs to pick out a chocolate croissant for the order. Renjun set it on a white dish and carried that to the serving tray also. Once everything was on the tray, he was about to call the order. He took a look at your name, Eden. Was it possible to fall in love with a name? Because Renjun just did. He picked a rose from the bouquet that would compliment the pink tint in the drink and placed it on the serving tray. Renjun was about to call out your name until his co-worker stopped him.

“Oh, Renjun. She said she was sitting by the window in the back,” Mark said. Renjun nodded and started to make his way towards the back.

        Renjun carried the tray to the back. As he got closer, he saw a couple sitting, a little disappointed that there was someone accompanying you. The romanticist inside of him cried a bit but to his surprise, he went to the wrong table. There wasn't an Eden there. Renjun walked back to the counter and asked Mark was sure about where you were sitting. He nodded but looked over to see you not by the window. Mark scanned the floor until he found you sitting by the door, lost in a trance on your phone. “She's right there,” Mark nodded his head towards the door. Renjun saw your figure, lost in the sunshine that poured in. Your fingers were rapidly moving, trying to respond to Jaemin. His heart got caught in his throat.

Mark hit Renjun’s back, causing him to jolt forward and then glare at him,“I could have dropped the order.”

“You were about to anyway, just go. I can see the hearts in your eyes already.” Renjun rolled his eyes and took a deep breath before starting to walk to you.

        A waft of chocolate made you release any tension in your shoulders. You sighed as you send your text to Jaemin. In that second, you got a text from Chenle, a photo of him and Jisung. You were about to send him a text back but Jaemin started spamming your phone again. “Eden?” A voice cut your stressed thoughts. Renjun had caught a sight of your texts before you quickly turned off the phone, placed it screen down then he looked into your eyes. He felt his heart skip a beat. You could hear his heart from your distance, you gently smiled up at him.

“Yeah, that's me.” Renjun placed the serving tray down and stood there. He didn’t want to leave just yet.

“Thank you for bringing me my order,” you said as you took the cup to your lips and sighed happily. The warm mildly sweet liquid danced around your tongue. 

“It’s delicious,” you paused to glance at the gold tag on his apron as if you didn’t already know his name, “Renjun.”

He swore to the gods that he just fell in love with a total stranger. Renjun picked up the rose that he left on the wooden tray and held it to you, “pleasure is all mine, Eden.”

It wasn't even your real name but it sounded so lovely coming out of him. Like the harps playing a melody so sweet. When he bend down to give you the flower, the chain he had around his neck fell out of his sweater, there was a simple band hanging from it, it was the ring you’ve been looking for. A call of your name knocked you out of your focus from it.

“Please, come again.” You took the rose from his hand, your fingers lightly brushing against each other.

“Of course,” you smiled back at him. His name being called shocked him and he apologized before running back behind the counter. You sipped at the drink that tasted sweeter than before.

I RLLY LIKE THIS TBH UWU ALSO FINALS WEEK STARTS TODAY IM SO NOT READY FOR ANY OF THEM IVE BEEN LOOKING AT THE SAME MATH AND HISTORY SHEETS FOR 3 HOURS. i got french in the bag tho yeet. - Chii

Please don’t claim this as your own and please don’t do anything with it without my permission. If you don’t want it happening to you, don’t do it to others.

[ihavenoside]

Okay... So I have like 4 posts about his car and kind of want to condense it all into one and basically sums up the revised version. 

Hank’s Car - The car he wants -  Car Obsession - He has the car (deviant verse) I still want to keep these linked because they still proved good information and well, i put a lot of work into them with im my 3 am obessioned induced fits so XD

The reason he likes driving so much.

Considering he's built to be a DPD android, meant to be assigned to a partner and living in a city that seems to have nothing but self-driving cars. Minus the work truck. Chances are, he wasn’t programmed to drive considering he took taxis to all of his locations. Hank was drunk during the Eden club mission, probably refused to go anywhere without his car and probably made his ‘know it all’ partner drive. Not knowing how to, looked up all you needed to know about driving in seconds and drove Hanks car carefully with minor hiccups. Being able to drive gives you a sense of freedom and control, doing something he wasn’t originally programmed to do and found out he enjoyed, gave him a freedom he didn’t expect. I go into more details here. Hank’s Car

His Car Obsession

This speaks for its self because it’s something he enjoyed, he is drawn to all things car related. Toy cars, model cars, car memorabilia, useless facts. Don’t get him started because he might end up talking an hour about cars. 

The car he wants /  He has the car

So the revised version to this is... Because of Hank, he really wanted a car but just after the revolution, considering he never made any money, there was no way for him to ever buy one. A day after the revolution, damaged and still half panicked about the idea that Cyberlife tried to resume control over him (something he’s willing to take to his grave rather than tell anyone), he was desperately trying to find a way to lower his stress levels to try and think rationally.

He likes cars. Which means he enjoys cars. So what better way to try and relax than to look up more cars? Stumbling onto a site that allows you to custom build your dream car. (This is a thing btw) knowing that he could never afford a car any time soon, he went all out on it. Adding all the fixings, neon under glow, LEDs, gas powered for the sounds, trying to stay true to the originality of what made Hanks car so appealing to him. Can play tap caskets, cds, and satellite radio. This is a dodge viper, the year is hard to pinpoint because it says 1985 (inspired by Hanks bday) when I found this picture and I found one other car but most of them are 1990′s so whatever but they cost about 300k today and having it custom made with everything and anything he could think of, marks the price to around 500k their time. Cyberlife is a trillion dollar company. 500k is pretty much pocket change to them.

When he was done having his fun and asked to check out, for the fun of it, he put in this Cyberlife code number he would use for the taxis and the purchase confirmed. He was surprised that account still worked considering his deviation and he didn’t expect it to get delivered to the two 2 weeks later. He figured Cyberlife would have noticed, canceled the purchase and closed that account, which they did but not after it was too late. The car is rightfully his and he even has the plate customized to say RK80051, which he sort of facepalms at because it’s a reminder just how irrational he had been at that moment in time.

He hates that he got it but he’ll also never sell it and takes great pride in caring for it. Making sure it’s always clean and everything is in working order, mostly because it gives him something to do. He’ll even go as far as removing the battery if the cars going to sit for a few days to removing a chip if he goes to work with it, just so it isn’t easy to steal. He covers it with a tarp at the tower, mostly to keep the dust off it but it also keeps it a bit out of view from others.

Since he’s rejoined the DPD as a reserve officer because the Tower and the revolution take top priority, he’s also had his car outfitted with lights and sirens for when he is on duty and won’t use them under any other circumstance on public streets and obeys all road laws. 

[perksofbeingsidnee]

Perks of Being Sidnee Episode 2:

I have decided to put all of my problems here because I know that no one I know personally will see this unless I let them read it. 

This will be a series of the perks of being me, Sidnee.

Now on with episode 2...

So this episode I’ll talk about another toxic person in my life. Let’s call her Spice. I met Spice when I was in seventh grade. We were okayish friends but didn’t really start to hang out until last year.

Something you should know about me is that I’m an AP kid. All of my friends are mostly in AP and I travel around with the same people all day. My sophomore year I had a hard time and decided to give myself a break during my junior year and take only one AP class. 

Because of my dumbass decision, I didn’t have lunch with my group of friends. The science I took last year was a CP course and I was only really friends with one person in the class. Spice. We were closish and had lunch together. We would chill in the school’s library during the lunch period. Over the course of the first semester and the fact that we were already friends, we became closer and started to hang out more outside of school. 

One weekend we decided to paint rocks, cause that was a thing at some point in time. Somehow I ended up spending the night. Her mom wasn’t home for most of the night which left her place for us to do whatever. 

Spice is really into photography, more specifically modeling. I enjoy doing people’s makeup and my own. I was already planning to do her and her sister’s, we’ll call her Mega, makeup, so she decided she wanted to get pictures of it. I thought it was fun and went along with the idea. We all put on cute outfits that matched our aesthetics and she used their camera to get photos. 

By the end of the night, we had a lot of different photos. I’ve never really like being in front of the camera or liked photos of myself, but I did like some of the ones we had gotten. I was looking to get a new profile pic for Instagram so I thought I would use one that we had gotten. Spice then came up with the idea of sharing an Instagram profile to post all of our photos and future photos. 

Again I went along with it for two reasons. One: the pictures we had gotten weren’t actual garbage. Two: it would be a place for me to post my makeup looks. In my head, at the time, it sounded like a great idea. 

We made the profile and posted the photos we got of each of us. If they posted something, I would post a makeup look. We had a few followers and I thought everything was fine.

But shit happened.

Before I go into any more detail about what has happened between Spice and me, I want to go over a few things. I have now realized that Spice is a very toxic person who I don’t necessarily want to be friends with. I wish her all the best in life, but we were never meant to be close friends. There were a lot of red flags that I should have noticed. They now scream at me ‘SIDNEE YOU ARE A COMPLETE DUMBASS’. 

Let’s go through them shall we:

1. The fact that she was never interested in what I was into

If you do not know me personally, you should know that I am a huge fangirl. I’m not afraid to admit it. I love music and a shit ton of bands (5sos is my fav no shame). In the past three years, I’ve been to three music festivals and seven concerts and I’m going to see Waterparks in literally a week, just to give you a glimpse of how much I spend on bands/music. I’m constantly finding new artist and a lot of the time I’ll show my friends if I think they will like them. Of course, since I thought we were close, I would try and show Spice new music. 

Spice was a huge K-pop fan, still is. I don’t understand it. Personally, I can’t enjoy it. Sure, it has a good beat and is easy to dance to (btw I’m a dancer), but I like listening/analyzing lyrics and your girl doesn’t know Korean. 

Whenever I would go to Spice’s house, we would watch youtube on her TV cause she can do that. I would always suggest music to listen to or videos to watch. She would let me show her like one or two, but she never liked it or cared to pay attention. Eventually, she would just play what she would want to watch or listen to (which was mostly K-pop) and not let me watch anything I would want to.

I understand that it was her house and all, but I was a guest. It would have been polite of her to let me watch a few of my videos as well. I also understand that my videos aren’t always going to be enjoyable to others. I don’t have a problem with that. You aren’t going to offend me if you think 5 seconds of summer is complete trash. You are completely entitled to your own opinion. It just bothers me now that she never really cared to watch or pay attention to what I wanted to show her. I put up with all her suggestions. 

2. She ditched my Christmas party to go to someone else’s party

I have always been the planner of my group of friends. I plan all of our events/outings. For these last two years, I’ve done Christmas parties. The first party I ever hosted was my birthday party (which Spice went to) with all of my friends. I thought it went pretty well. I invited a lot of my friends from my different friend groups and everyone meshed well. 

Later that year, when Christmas rolled around, I decided to throw a Christmas party with those same friends. I had so many fun things planned and everyone was supposed to bring something for the potluck. During lunch, Spice and I talked about the party and what she was going to bring. I guess Spice and Mega’s friend, let’s call her Sausage, was having her birthday party that same day, however, Spice didn’t sound like she was invited and was still planning to attend my party.

The day before my party, Spice cancels on me. Keep in mind I have her signed up to bring food for the potluck. Her excuse was that her mom told her she couldn’t go anymore and she was grounded. Mega and Spice’s mom is a bit strict and the excuse seemed legitimate. 

I figured out how to fix the situation with the food and thought I had everything under control. I felt bad that Spice could no longer come.

It’s the day of the party. Everything goes fantastic. The activities I had planned ran smoothly and I had a great time with my friends. We’re all taking stupid Snapchats of the party and posting them to our stories. By the end of the night, after everyone leaves, I go on my Snapchat to see what they had posted. 

Then I land on Spice’s story.

Guess where she was.

At Sausage’s party. I was pissed. I wasn’t jealous that she had ditched my party for Sausage’s. No, I was angry that she had lied to me about why she wasn’t going to mine. Sure, I wasn’t thrilled that she wasn’t at mine because she said she was going to go to it, but she could have been straight up with me about it. 

The Monday after that weekend I confronted her about it and she said that Mega couldn’t go unless she went which I thought was absolute bullshit. Except I put it behind me and moved on. No need to dwell on it, I guess.

3. Desperately tries to fit in

Spice is a for sure wannabe. No doubts. She tries so hard to be popular and look trendy. Honestly, I don’t care enough about her now to keep up to date on what she is trying to do now, but last year she was going to try out for cheer. I told her thousands of times that she shouldn’t and wasn’t going to make the team for multiple reasons. Of course, she ignored me, and like expected she didn’t make the team.

Those are the biggest red flags I can remember before shit happened.

So onto our falling out.

There was another girl in my science class that I am now friends. We started to hang out more and I invited her to sit with Spice and me at lunch. Spice and this girl, we’ll call her Trickle, were friends before Spice dropped out of the class at the semester. I thought Trickle joining us wouldn’t be a problem.

Every day we would sit in the same place during lunch. From first to third quarter it was the same table. But all of a sudden during the fourth quarter, Spice and Mega started to move locations almost every week. I would have to search for them. And there was sometimes not enough seats for Trickle to join us. 

Slowly but surely I stopped sitting with them because I wasn’t going to leave Trickle by herself. It seemed like they were trying to ditch us on purpose and it sort of ticked me off because it was out of the blue. 

Remember our shared Instagram page. Yeah, out of nowhere she deleted all of my photos, changed the username, and started to post her own makeup looks on there. She didn’t give me a heads up on any of it. I would occasionally go on there to see how my posts were doing and if I had gotten any new comments. One day I went to find it and everything was different.

When I would post something on there, I would instantly delete it from my camera roll in order to save storage. Everything that I had ever done/posted was gone. To say that I was angry would be an understatement. I only had one makeup look saved. One out of like the ten or so I had posted on that account. 

It pissed me off more was that she was posting her own makeup looks on there. Let me tell you a few things about Spice’s makeup. It isn’t good. And it isn’t like she has shit products. I literally gave her an extra set of brushes for free that my stepmom had given me. She just had an extra set lying around and asked if Spice wanted them after I sent her a picture of the eyeshadow look I did on Spice. And she has like three Morphe pallets and Tarte shape-tape concealer and a lot of products you can find at Ulta and Sephora. I get my products from fucking Target and occasionally Ulta. Makeup is expensive and I’m broke. 

She acts like she is this talented guru when she isn’t.

Just, it pisses me off that I ever spent time dealing with her. 

Anyways, that is it for Spice. There is probably a lot more I could go into more detail about, but I’m lazy and don’t want to so... yeah.

xx

Sidnee

[viranlly]

 #VGetsAround: his own damn dining room. At this time six weeks or so ago, I was laying by the pool, tits-deep in passionfruit gimlet in a hip and happening new--ishly opened day club somewhere in the island of Bali. Little that I know, that the world was ‘bout to go on a ride. And damn, it has been one *literal* hell of a damn ride.

Here we are, in the present day, where the word ‘travel’ is now almost taboo (just ask what Anna Wintour told Adam Rapoport of Bon Appetit). Flights are cancelled, borders are closed. Bid adieu to Coachella and your festival plans this year. This is depressing even for somebody who hates crowds and usually comes up with bazillion excuses to cancel plans *ME*.

 The world, as we know it, is upside down and inside out. People losing their jobs, businesses scrambling, trying to make it one day at a time. Bars and restaurants, those who survived that is, had to make the switch to strictly delivery and take out services just to keep their doors open. Gyms are closed while my pants, on the contrary, are not able to. 

Let me just say it, I miss my friends. I miss putting on my subtly loud Thom Browne suit to sit on a crowded bar, sipping overpriced exotic martini(s), while watching people watching me. I miss the feeling of getting buzzed after polishing the 4th bottle of wine over dinner at a restaurant, where you don’t have to do the dishes after. And I miss ordering the round(s) of tequila shots I probably shouldn’t even think about. I also, deeply, miss travelling.

But until the world recovers, what can we do but our part? Stay at home, wash your hands, and support our local favourites as much as we can. The upside, if any, is the fact that our group chats have never been more lit, we do our dinners and drinks over video calls - I even find out, that you can be hungover during quarantine. Little and simple things have now become something we all admire and crave every single day.

And for the travelling part, I keep telling myself, if I can’t bring myself to the destination, Imma bring the destination to me, right here to my dining room.

In an ideal world, I would’ve been roaming the streets of Mexico City two weeks ago and stuffing myself with tacos of all kinds. For the time being, the folks at La Taqueria get me covered with their build-yo-own-taco-bar at home. If you’re in the mood for a little trip to Japan, lucky for us Vancouverites, we have plenty of amazing sushi out there: Miku for their Aburi party tray for 3, which, I finished in one seating, twice; Yuwa if you feel extra fancy, even Coast offers make-your-own sushi kit (super fun date night idea, if you’re a couple or something). Mak n Ming also does really good bento boxes too, btw!

Fancy a trip to Spain? Take a #Como2Go for your tapas, conservas, and fun tipples (G&T kit, wine and vermut too!) OR if you want something more substantial, give Paellaguys a try. While we’re in Europe, might as well bring Italy in via. Ask for Luigi, Di Beppe, and Italian Kitchen. I heard Pepino’s and Caffe La Tana are also doing amazing take out. You cannot, well, more like, should not, miss what L’abattoir is doing during this time - a rotation of fancy-esque French cooking AND their iconic pastry baskets for the weekend. And while we’re on the topic of pastry... Leave it to Beaucoup Bakery for some flaky, buttery croissants (among other stuff) to go with your morning coffee. If you’re in the mood for more comforting Quebecois-French cooking, of course, there’s St. Lawrence Restaurant. 

I don’t know bout everyone else, but I do get cravings for fried chicken from time to time (by time to time, I mean at least twice a week). This is the moment when I call up on some friends at Downlow Chicken, which just so happens to make incredible burgers. *ahem* Speaking of burgers... Transam does a pretty killer one too! And juuuust in case you’re still craving meat, Elisa Steak and the legendary Gotham are now doing steak take out (their wildly popular cheese bread is now on the take out menu - you’re welcome). 

*I sound like a hungry kid with ADHD trying to decide what’s for dinner as I’m eating my second lunch, don’t I?*

And when ordering in gets overwhelming - trust me it does. Take the opportunity to brush up your cooking skills. Your trusty friends like Bon Appetit Magazine (both Healthyish and Basically too, obvs) and The New York Times Cooking got you. Spend the time making BA’s best bolognese, Alison Roman’s ‘the stew’, or the extra comforting brown butter toffee chocolate chip cookies for a change of pace.

I truly believe that great food can help us going through this less-than-ideal time. Soon we will be able to share a meal with our friends again, and soon we don’t have to do our dishes 70 times a day again. Until then, stay at home, support your local gems, and for the love of all things that’s good and pure, wash your damn hands.

‘Til next time!

instagram @viranlly

Food | Travel | Vancouver

[jbuffyangel]

Hey Jen, you trully are a rare gem for any fandom worthy to have you! Beyond happy you're part of the Olicity fandom! Only one thing I would like you to address, esp given your knowledge of TV and how the business works. So, what is your view on ratings for Arrow Season 5? The decline in ratings goes ofc accross shows and channels as a general trend nowadays. But specifically how do you feel about Arrow ratings this year? TY!

What a sweet thing to say. I am but one among many, but you are so incredibly kind. Thank you. Hope you don’t mind that I’m publishing this ask because I always like ratings questions. I think they are fun. Yes. I am weird. I don’t know if it’s knowledge. It’s more a weird obsession combined with some (hopefully) educated guesses. (Some of this will be a repeat for those who’ve read my thoughts on ratings before).

Stumbled on this article today. Vulture always takes a look at returning/aging dramas and writes an article on rating trends every year. It’s a good read. The take away is it’s been a rough year for everyone. Most returning/aging dramas saw a significant drop in their live ratings. This was The CW:

31% drop is… well… ouch. 

I agree with Vulture. I don’t know a network executive that would be happy with any of these drops because they like money. Loss of revenue is not good. Networks ain’t never gonna be a fan of that. A live ratings decrease = a loss of ad based revenue. 

But am I worried about Arrow? NOPE. The single most important question any fan of a television show that airs on The CW should ask is…

How in sweet holy heaven does The CW make money?

This article just published ratings losses, so everything looks equal across the board. However, if you compare ratings for The CW versus the Big Four (NBC, CBS, ABC and Fox) they aren’t even in the same ballpark. This is David versus Goliath. So, if television is all about live ratings - how does The CW even freaking exist? They are trounced on a nightly basis by all the other networks. I mean look at these numbers of the Top 10. My kingdom for a CW show to get these kind of numbers. lol

The answer is simple - The CW has a differentbusiness model than the Big Four. IT ALWAYS HAS. Otherwise it couldn’t compete.The CW business structure is not based on live ratings. That is not how thesetelevision shows make the majority of their money. Coke and McDonalds willalways want to air commercials on Greys Anatomy versus Arrow because it hastriple the freaking audience. They might have to pay more for Greys than Arrow,but ya know, it’s Coke so they can afford it. 

I’m not saying The CW doesn’t have a target market that appeals to advertisers. They do. Live ratings do matter to some degree, but that degree is 5% of Arrow’s actual value. Or at least that’s the number Stephen Amell offered at HVFF Chicago. Stephen confirmed what I’ve always believed about Arrow and The CW and what I’ve been writing about for years.

A 30% drop in the 5% overall value of a product is nothing to get overly worked up about. I’m sorry folks. It’s just not. A network is always going to want more money. They want Arrow to have a 0.9 and 2.5 million viewers every year until it goes off air. They aren’t running a charity here. 

The CW doesn’t want a 30% drop, but they aren’t canceling Arrow because of it. Especially if Arrow has remained profitable in other areas.

So, how does The CW make money? Well… some of this is research and some of this is guessing, but I think their business structure is primarily focused on two things 1) International sales 2) Streaming services 

I have nothing on the international sales, other than to guess that CW shows are popular overseas and that’s one way the network makes some money on the front end. For me, this really comes down to streaming. The CW demographic watches TV differently. I think the network came to that realization sooner than the Big Four simply because they had to in order to make money. The Big Four are catching on though too. 

So, streaming applications like the CW app or Netflix are extemely important. This is an informative article about the deal The CW made with Netflix and the collapse of their other agreement with Hulu.  Keep in mind that Netflix now gets CW shows eight days after the season is complete. So, given the target demographic (and the lack of commercials on Netflix) it would not surprise me if some of the 30% drop is attributed to viewers simply waiting until full seasons of The Flash or Arrow come out so they can binge it. The concern what this eight day deal would do to live ratings is highlighted in the article. 

Five year shows typically do not see growth, especially on The CW. The more realistic goal I believe for returning series 5+ years is to remain flat or bleed off slowly as a series ages. Sure, out of the four DC shows Arrow had the lowest ratings this year. It is also the oldest out of the four. I do think audiences can wain over time. 

However, if this is merely a transfer of audience, and not a loss of audience, then it could be a net wash overall. Here’s the kicker - Netflix does not publish any ratings information. They publish what their most popular shows are, but that is not the same thing. (Btw Arrow is always on their popular show lists). 

Here’s the other thing - Arrow’s ratings are nowhere near the red zone for The CW even with a 30% drop. It’s important to note that there are plenty of shows on the CW who have ratings far lower than Arrow and were renewed. We need to be asking ourselves why? WHY does The CW renew most of their returning series?

First - low ratings for The CW versus low ratings for the Big Four are not the same thing. I don’t know the ratio for ratings & profitability for the CW, but there’s plenty of shows I thought were tanking that limped their way to second, third and even fourth seasons.

I think the answer again is streaming services. What Netflix is interested in is completed series. They want a show they can package from start to finish so the 18-34 demo can binge it. The networks want people to watch previous seasons and then shift to the currently airing season. This is why I believe shows like The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, Reign and Beauty and the Beast all received renewals when their live ratings were not in tip top shape. The CW wants completed series they can package and ship off to Netflix. This is how they make their money on the back end.

This is actually one of the things I like best about The CW. If a series has a reasonably decent ratings the first season (and especially if there is a social media response) then we stand a good chance of getting another season. The CW allows series to find their footing and come to a conclusion because of their business model. The Big Four are still focused on live ratings numbers because, despite the shift in thinking, I believe most of their profitability is generated from those ad buys. I am always far more nervous for one of my low rated shows if it airs on CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox than I am if it airs on The CW.

That’s not to say a show is not in risk of cancellation on The CW. If you have low ratings in the first season, and by low I mean low for The CW, then no - you probably aren’t not coming back for a round 2. (Here’s looking at you Frequency). But every television show is different. So it all depends.

Yes, Arrow took a 30% hit. It is still the #4 show on the network. Not too shabby after five years and, just looking at the shows that come before it, I have to believe it’s cheaper to produce based on the CGI budget ALONE.

I know people want to point to the live ratings as evidence that the plotlines they are unhappy with were indeed terrible decisions. And sure… maybe it means that, but I don’t know how we quantify that. Ratings don’t tell us why people watch. Nor do I need ratings to support my opinions on storylines either way. If I don’t like something - I don’t like it. If I do… well… I do. Whether or not the Nielson company shows the rest of the viewing audience agreeing with me doesn’t really sway me either way. I have adored series that Nielson couldn’t find with two flashlights and a map and couldn’t stand series that were in the Top 10 every week. TV is subjective like any other art form. 

And I cannot emphasize enough that the Nielson rating system is absolutely and unequivocally archaic. It needs to change, like yesterday. When that happens who knows?  

Are the ratings evidence regarding poorly received or successful storylines? Maybe? Not sure on that piece. There’s a lot of factors that go into Nielson ratings too. I think what people are hoping for is the decrease in live ratings will mean Olicity won’t break up again or be distant or have storylines like Baby Mama. That the writers will use the numbers to make plotline decisions.

Ummm… yeah I don’t know guys. I really don’t. Arrow knew going into the second season Oliver would choose Felicity. They knew going into the third season Olicity would leave town together. Arrow knew going into the fourth season they were going to break Olicity up. Ratings didn’t break Olicity up (or save them from it) anymore than it will get them back together. Arrow knew going into the fifth season that Olicity will get back together. Ratings didn’t speed up that conclusion any sooner because it was the year long arc.

I’m not sure how much ratings effect actual storytelling decisions. To be honest, I don’t think they impact the current season all that much simply because Arrow is filming so far in advance. Once they pick a road my friends they have to go down it. This is like the rudder on the Titanic. It doesn’t corner worth a damn. For better or for worse.

How will this impact Season 6? Err… not sure. I don’t want to completely discount the live ratings because it’s numbers. It’s some math the network and EPs can use gauge some of the audience’s response. They are trying to sell a product here. Audience response does matter. It’s just… I don’t think the live ratings have the level of impact we think they do. There’s a whole bunch of numbers we don’t have access to. 5% is not going to determine storylines in their entirety. There’s many other factors at play and some of them are simply writing choices.

Arrow is going to do what Arrow is going to do. There will be storylines I love. There will be storylines I hate. That’s just Arrow for me. Olicity will always face drama because it’s a dramatic television show. Ratings aren’t going to guarantee some perfect season in which we get everything we want. Ratings aren’t going to stop mistakes from happening. That’s not how writing works. There is no perfect season of Arrow for me. Even when its numbers were sky high I can point to three or four things I didn’t enjoy. If Olicity stays together it’s because that’s where the writers determine they want the story to go and remain. Which, just so we’re clear, is where I think the story is headed. 

If this was all about live ratings well then the DC shows should just do crossovers all the damn time because that’s when everyone gets a major bump. But then that would get old and they’d need to come up with something new. Balancing what people love about the show while infusing it with new aspects to keep it interesting is one of the more difficult things writers have to do. Every season it’s done to varying levels of success.

But I was never worried about Arrow’s ratings this year. I was always confident we’d get a Season 6. Not to count my chickens, but I’m confident we’ll get a Season 7 because that’s how long the network has Stephen Amell signed for. Mostly, I’m just kicking back and watching the show. Enjoying what I enjoy and disliking what I dislike. Like every other season. :) And very much looking forward to next season.

[ebonyeagle]

Of Salt and Forgiveness

Not really a fan of writing reviews because I'm shit but here I go anyways since this is a special case. What is the topic?

The most anticipated game of this decade, Final Fantasy XV!

Why is this important for me to write about? Because I got a complicated relationship with this game. On one hand, I really fucking hate this stupid thing, on the other hand I can’t stop loving it. Now that I’ve had time to think, it’s time to write down my final thoughts! 

Before I go further into it, it’s worth to mention that I’m one of those people who were hyped for Final Fantasy XIII Versus. I have been waiting for this game since 2008 and been looking very much forward to a dark and gritty story. I was intrigued when I watched the cinematic trailer. What would this game be about? Will this be a Final Fantasy game where you play as the villain? What is the significance of the Shakespeare quote?   At the time, I had just finished Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core ( what a fantastic game <3 ) and was craving my next Final Fantasy fix! As interesting as XIII looked, I was more into Versus as the darker approach was much more alluring.   And as we all know, we waited and waited and waited. I was excited for every E3 and TGS; ready for more news about it, but a real release date never came.   

Then came the rumours of it being cancelled only to have the hype return tenfold at the announcement at E3 2013 where it was revealed to be the next main instalment in the franchise! And what an amazing trailer we got; the destruction of a an entire city by the fins of a Leviathan, more personality to Noctis and some new neat characters! I was so damn excited! However, as time went on it became evident that the roadtrip part would be the core mechanic. Unexpected but alright, it’s a whole new Final Fantasy for a new console for a new generation, let’s see where this is going

Then the demo “Episode: Duscae” happened and let’s just say I was very surprised. And not in a good way. Fucking boyband goes camping… Not what I expected and to be honest it didn’t help revive the hype I once felt (Feeling bad for Type-0 since it will forever be remembered as “the game that came with the demo”). Anyways the game got released and it was time to experience the full thing.

Game boots up and we are presented with the beautiful title theme + logo of the game as well as a glittering night sky in the background. Then we are immediately thrown into a fight with, what we suppose is, Ifrit and a grown up Noctis and squad.      First of all, that was the most pointless teaser/medias res start whatever to start a story with. All it serves is to spoil the fact that there is a timeskip. You have no idea what and why you should care. Then we are back to young Noctis and Co. that are sent off by Papa Regis on a roadtrip. Their car AKA fifth party member then breaks down and the Crown prince of a powerful kingdom is sent out as an errand boy in order to pay for car repairs…

What? This is the way you decide to start your grand new main title? Hour long road trip where you know jackshit about anything!? A little more exposition maybe? You do pride yourself with this game being for “fans and first timers” maybe tell us something about the importance of crystals and what exactly magitechs are?      I know they expect you to see that god-awful movie (which I btw really like) beforehand but I expect my full price game to come complete! At least have the decency to include the movie in the game and not only in the collectors edition, jeez… Oh yes, there is an anime too and the Platinum demo. There was actually a surprisingly amount of story and hints in that demo, didn’t expect much from it, only played it because of the cute carbuncle on the thumbnail. ________ Here is how I would have liked this game to start: Instead of the Ifrit flash forward, let us have a flash forward of the world after the star scourge. Let us see a world without light and terrors in the form of demons. As cliché as it is, let this flash forward be a nightmare Noctis has.    Instead of the Kingsglaive movie, let the movie be the first 1/3 arc of the game. Noctis will wake up after the star scourge nightmare only to find himself in his bedroom in Insomnia. Maybe a week before the signing of the Treaty with Niflheim. Here Noctis will be able to explore the Citadel, talk with daddy and learn about the world. Let Ignis do some exposition as well as introduce you to the use of magic. Sparring with Gladio will learn you about the combat mechanics and you’ll be able to hang out with Prompto. Explore the streets of Insomnia and derp around with your friends at your favourite Arcade. In this way you will feel at home in Insomnia and the events of the game will be more impactful later.

Then all the Niflheim crap happens, Insomnia falls, Regis is killed, Noctis and Luna are separated and he flees the city. This will really show how evil the Empire is for tbh, without Kingsglaive we don’t really know that much about Niflheim. We are told they are evil but never really see it except for the roaming magitech troopers and some blockades.  Then the second arc of the game will start which will be the road trip part. Noctis’ friends helps him deal with the loss and they try to get by as refugees by camping in the wild and such.   That’s another thing I don’t get in the game, how can the dead-very-important-crownprince of Lucis run around and no one bats an eye? Have the people never actually seen the prince?? Anyways this is my idea of a start. Cliché but a friendlier way to start in my opinion. ______

Then all the Blessing of the Astrals is going to happen which is awesome! The Leviathan part in Altissia is epic. Could have been cool though if it was a bit more like the announcement trailer... Not interesting from a gameplay perspective but very impressive and Final Fantasy-like. We really get to see how majestic summons can be!    The story then slows down and we are presented to story-telling on rails (literally) Noctis and Co. deals with their losses, it looks bleak for them and Gladio is being a macho ass and we go into the final part of the game. I really like this part as the storytelling is FINALLY going somewhere! Okay the part in the Empire is a little too long and I feel confused about the characters like Ravus and the Emperor-what’s-his-name. I know they patched cutscenes in but looking at the game at release, a little too much happened off screen and you are more confused than shocked.  

We are then at the stolen crystal and where the timeskip happens. What comes after is honestly the best part of the game! Especially because of the sleep-theme the game got going/hints at. Anything from here on is absolutely bloody brilliant! I love the payoff with the photographies and Armiger weapons! The story telling and music, everything! But again, the return to where it all began would have been more impactful if I actually knew Insomnia. The city you enter aren’t any different from any other town you’ve passed. This isn’t my home so why should I feel anything? Anyways, the ending(s) blew me away and I may or may not have shed tears of happiness.

That was some story talk now to the more general part.

I wrote in my intro that I hate the game. Why is that? I expected something and got something else. My own fault, next reason. I think the way they presented the game was messy and the first half had a horrible pacing. It’s hard to care about the war and Empire when you don’t know the stakes and what the fuck’s going on.   The camping mechanic is awesome and I love how you can get different boosts by preparing different foods! I hated the whole boyband goes camping but this honestly turned out to be one of the best parts of the game.    No, what I REALLY hate is the way they decided to tell a what-would-be interesting story. There are way too many moments where you don’t know what the fuck is going on and why you should care and some characters wasn’t fleshed out enough; would have loved to know more about Ardyn because of his significance in the game and true identity. A little more about the Astrals too please? What about the Oracles? I know this is stuff you surely can find in books and stuff laying around; bread crumbs are nice but not when you forget the entire fucking bread.   This is a solid game with a huge potential, but somehow that’s totally hidden away. I feel like the Final Fantasy part has been lost along the way.  Side quest and open world exploration are a huge part of the universe, but so is a grand story and rich lore. Could we please have more of the latter?  The more realistic setting this instalment is going for isn’t my cup of tea. I love the bleary steampunk world of VII and the colourful tropical world of Spira, setting a fantasy game in a close-to-real-life setting is taking a lot of its charm. But again, this is a new and different fantasy so that’s nice in its own way. When that is said, too bad we didn’t get to explore Tenebrae, that place looks beautiful!

I don’t hate this instalment because it’s different compared to the older titles, I hate it because of the way it’s executed. I cry when I think about what this game could have been and then I cry again when I think about its beautiful moments and bromance. For most of the first half of the game I hated its fucking guts and I couldn’t see any reason to care about anything the game had to offer, but as time went on it slowly grew on me and at the end where this beautiful mess turned Final Fantasy, I realized it was finally time to lay behind my salt and forgive it.

[daddyconfessions]

sugar tales: Amoladora

Amoladora sent me a wink on whatsyourpice. I had all but forgotten about that site. Never been a fan of it really. Most of the girls I’d met were only looking for some quick cash IMHO. But after Ripoff, I couldn’t do any worse at this point. I reply back with an offer and 3 days later we’re texting.

Amoladora isn’t in town at the moment which works for me. I use the time to get to know her better and more importantly see if she is serious about a SD. Generally, I’m not as stern about wyp dates and if nothing happens as a result its no biggie. But I was admittedly salty after Ripoff  and down about 3 stacks with nothing to show for it.  

As we talk, she puts me at ease and I relax. I realize I can’t hold every sugar chick accountable for what someone else did. Feeling like I got part of my mojo back, I jump on SA and peruse the ads. I see Ripoff is still on there wrecking havoc. Bitch. I send out several messages, one to a young lady I’ll blog about next called Casino and another who would become Firecracker.

Btw, sorry it took so long to update my sugar tales. I was busy answering all your anons and private messages. Some of you ladies are really going through some things so glad I could help. Some of you other’s are too much.

Besitos Cohiba :)

And this one took longer because I still had the messages (text, email, etc.) so I went through them to write the post. Its still a bit choppy from my POV but I had to shorten it.

Anyway....within a couple of days Amoladora has allayed any concerns I have for the moment.  I bring up allowances, but she shy’s away from any commitment until after we’ve met. We go silent for a day or two, can’t remember how long really. Then she surprises me one morning and text me 7:30am. It’s amazing and funny how chicks know you’re up that early just because you have a job.  Baby wants to meet up that day. But the whole ordeal of Ripoff floods back into the mind and suddenly I want to cancel.

I shrug it off and by 1:30pm I’m pulling into some nice upscale apartments. I was shocked I got to pick her up actually. Lot of sugar chicks don’t go for that sort of thing. I haven’t had another chick in the car with me for quite some time including my wife (she hates my car). My passenger seat still looks new. I’m always meeting chicks somewhere or at the hotel. It’s always “I’ll meet you there…”  or some stuff like that.

As I wait in the parking lot, I catch a glimpse of this sexy as Latina coming down the stairs. At first I think its someone else but as she comes closer I see its Amoladora. Nice. Cuter than her pics. Body is nice too. A little extra belly fat, but nothing to complain about.  She gets into the car all perfumed up. “Nice car she says.”

We chit chat along the way. “You’re really cute,” she says randomly. Amoladora runs a manicured nail along the back of my hand and up my arm as I shift through gears.  Then she smiles at me, “I wasn’t expecting that. You got like a little preppy boy face.” Not sure if she was lying or not, but it sounded good. I needed the ego boost.

I pick an upscale chain. Its after the lunch rush so we get seated quick. We spark of a fairly decent conversation. She thinks I’m funny. Laughs at all my jokes. “So how are you a Mexican from Missouri,” I asks. She laughs. “Oh you have jokes Mister.” I go on cracking jokes for almost an hour. We manage to talk about our lives, experiences in the sugar bowl, our background. We run out of things to talk about so I bring up the allowance again.

“I think we’re looking for two different things sweetie,” she says. “That’s too low for me.” I smile and ask, “Well how much baby?”

She throws out an amount and I immediately agree to it. Too quick. She kicks me under the table. “Really? You were just giving me a shitty offer to see if I would take it?”  I tell her yes and we both laugh.

“I better watch you,” she says, wincing at me, pursing those full lips at me. She touches my hand again. “You’re really cute. “

I know tumblr. I’m a bastard. But hey, I was understandably a little salty after the last month with Ripoff. We order another set of drinks and then go on talking about some minute details of our arrangement.

“Can I ask a question babe?” she says, serious all of a sudden. I give her the nod as I sip of my drink. “How big is your penis?” I nearly spit my drink out. “How big is what?” I ask. We spend a few minutes talking about my size. Smh. She tells me she doesn’t like big penis’. Something to the effect she’s small down there and how she’s shaped. Smh. Only in the sugar bowl.

I tell her to relax. If it becomes uncomfortable we can stop. “Ok baby,” she says. “I trust you.”

By now its time to get back to work. I’m going on my second hour for my lunch break. If I leave now I can make it back by 4:30ish and be in my office when all the big boys walk by on their way out.  So I ask when we can have our second date. It’s the moment of truth. Is this the usual wyp date for me or am I on the verge of a new beginning? Amoladora  shocks me – she tells me something about her roommate is gone and she doesn’t have anything planned for the rest of the day. “We can get started baby,” I remember her saying. “Or do you have to get back to work?”

I did! I whip out the phone and send a few emails to cover myself for the afternoon. “I’m all yours baby,” I say putting my phone away.

Back in the car I tell her I have to run by the bank. “You need condoms too sweetie,” she says, confirming how the next 2 hours are about to go down. I’m thinking in the back of mind, “I’m about to tear the kitty up!!!” At some point Amoladora tells me she could really use some weed. I tell her no prob. I got the connect.

“No fucking way,” she says wide eyed. “You look so innocent. I wouldn’t think you did stuff like that.”

I don’t. About a week prior to our date, I was at a gas station when this fine ass black chick pulls up. I’ve been lazy about approaching girls in the vanilla world. I just don’t have that hunger I did when I was in my 20’s. And since I stay coochie down to the socks, its hard to put forth the effort and work the vanilla scene requires. But I couldn’t pass up this hottie. Maybe she’s into sugar?  We spark up a conversation and two minutes later I’m going nowhere fast. Then I realize she’s high. I ask her if we could hang out, maybe smoke a little ganga. Her whole demeanor changed. The conversation went from 0 to 100. I got a kiss, hug, phone number and the promise  of a potential vanilla/side piece type relationship. But my old ass didn’t save the number when I put it in my phone and later lost it. A day later I consult the Oracle about upping my game with a little 420. She tells me “Hell yea.” Says chick’s who smoke weed love a dude that has some. Can get it. “Shit, I met let you hit this if you come through with a bag,” she tells me. The Oracle is immune to my charm and money, so it means a lot coming form her. Never knew 420 was such an aphrodisiac….Back to our story.

I tell Amoladora I don’t smoke it, but I’d try a little with her.

Within the hour  we’re walking up the stairs to her apt. She tells me something about her roommate may be home so when we walk in I need to be as quiet as possible. A flag is raised. I see flashbacks of a month ago where Ripoff was disappear into a back room to change into something more comfy. The some bitch ass dude comes in all nonchalant like he just went to the store. Outside, more of the homies are waiting for backup…..My eyes dart around to see if I see anything suspicious. I’m nervous, but Bartholomew (my second brain) is in control now and I’m throwing caution to the wind. She opens the door and we walk into this upscale apt. with wooden floors and pretty swanky layout. I only take a few steps before she diverts me into a door on the right. It’s the bathroom and has another door to her bedroom. She pushes me in gently, follows me in and closes the door behind me.

Oh snap. It could be the perfect setup. Big wad of cash in my pocket. In a room that’s dark. Some buster could jump out at any minute. WTF? How did I let myself get back into this situation? Am I about to get robbed again?

Amoladora picks up an open bottle of wine on a nearby night stand and says, “let’s finish this.” I sigh in relief. Heart stops pounding.  I chuckle at being smuggled in like I’m some guilty pleasure of hers. Reminds me of back when I was teenager, sneaking into some girls house. She runs to the kitchen and returns with 2 glasses. We sit on the bed and talk, sipping wine. Before long we start to kiss. I can taste the sweet taste of wine on her supple lips. Even as I type this, I can recall the taste like it was yesterday.

By now, Bartholomew  is about to bust through the zipper. Then I realize I hadn’t took my Lamar Odom’s (herbals  for those who don’t know) before I left work. Oh well, I don’t think I’ll be having a problem today anyway.

Before long we’re taking turns removing clothes articles of clothing. After several minutes of play, I’m naked. I push her back on the bed and go down on her. The kitty is fresh and clean. I pour a little wine on her, just a few drops, as began to thrash her with my tongue. I watch her face and upper body to see how my efforts are going. Sometimes licking the clit directly doesn’t always achieve the right results. And even if it does, there is a certain amount of pressure she might like, hard, soft, medium, and then there’s speed – fast, slow….it’ a guessing game at best. I lick the kitty in several places until I find the right spot. She’s squirming and arching her back now. Got her. I cup my hands under her buttocks and raise her up. Her back arches and she becomes stiff. I got the muff right in front of me now. A couple of times she tries to push my head away but I ignore it. She’s playing the game so many before her have – refusing to cum.

I’ve had girls tell me its against the rules. They’re not suppose to enjoy it. Blah blah. Probably in some sugarbaby rule book somewhere. The shit I hear I tell you. As usual, I just bulldoze right over that bullshit and mercilessly thrash the clit with my tongue. Before long she’s cums. Her body twitches violently as she grabs the back of my head. I remove my hands and let her fall back to the bed, then I wrap my arms around her thighs. No sooner does she cum then does she push my head away. She tries to move away but I anticipate as much and I pull her back to me and continue my assault on the clit. “Babe, st—“ she tries, but I’m going to town now. No intention of stopping.

Before long I’ve chased her across the bed, with my head buried between those creamy thighs.

She’s about to fall off the side when she sits up and says, “Okay. Stop baby. I’m sensitive now.”

As I move away from her slightly, I still see her stomach fluttering and her lower body twitching. I kiss and rub on her legs and lower torso while she recuperates. “I never came twice in a row baby,” she says, rubbing a hand over my head. That’s my cue….. I go back down again. She stops me and tells me its my turn. My kind of girl :) We switch. She licks the shaft a few times and looks at Bartholomew. “Its big baby,” she says, voice sultry now. She continues on, licking the shaft before taking Bart in her mouth and going down a quarter of the way. She has a pretty good technique of suction and simultaneously working the tongue on the shaft. Now it’s my turn to twitch and squirm like a little bitch. Pretty good fellatio I’ll admit. No deep throating, not a lot of saliva, but I’m satisfied. She stops suddenly and apologizes that she can give me a better BJ due to some teeth problems.

She doesn’t know I’ve heard that one many times before. “Oh I can’t give head because I had a tooth pulled” or “I’ve had some recent dental work so I can give you a BJ” or “I have braces, it may hurt you” or “I have braces and can’t open my mouth as wide …” or “I have problems with my wisdom tooth” even though she’s 25. But maybe Amoladora is telling the truth. She does happen to have Bartholomew in her mouth when she says it.  I tell her to keep going, she’s doing a good job despite her “mouth” issues.

I had no idea that was a precursor to future problems.

When Bart is good and hard, we slide on the condomn. She tries to get on top, but she can’t take it. I’m too big.  We switch and after a few gentle strokes, I’m able to get a good rhythm going. Baby is nice and wett. I think she’s a keeper.  Before long she’s raised her legs and wrapped them around me, encouraging my thrust. I oblige, burying myself deeper inside her with each thrust. Amoladora bury’s her fingernails gently in my back.

If you’re wondering how I remember this even so vividly its because  no sooner than it began then did it end. I cum before I know it. Damnit. I wanted to enjoy it more. But since I was sans Lamar Odom’s, my stamina was off. Bart was down and out. I would have taken them if I had known we’d be getting physical on the first date. I totally expected to pay for the wyp date and call it a wrap.

Afterwards we lay in the bed chatting. I inquire about her living situation and she tells me she has an old friend who lets her stay in the apartment. As long as she respects him she can stay but she wants her own place.

Him?

She explains its just a guy she knows that’s helping her out. But doesn’t offer more details. Smh. Always some weird shit in the sugar bowl.

I start to wonder if everyone on SA and Wyp is homeless or something.

I’m hard again from all the talking. Baby’s brown skin is enticing and sulty voice as she lays on my chest is getting me aroused again. But Amoladora isn’t interested. No second round for Daddy. She does want me to come back later though. Tells me we can sit on the porch and enjoy the 420. Her roommate will be working.

I get dressed and rush back to work. Almost five when I sit down behind my desk, just in time for everyone to walk past my office. Most thought I’d been there the whole time working with my door closed. Cool. As I put on the appearance of a long day of work, I get out my phone and get my connect up. No answer. I text baby the news but she still wants me to come back anyway. I close my eyes and thank whatever deity looks down on sugardaddies. I’m going to be taking my time tonight.

The family is out of town so I got the house to myself. I’ll be joining them in a few days. Going back to kick it with Amoladora is not a problem. No excuses to make up tonight. No lies. A few hours later, I’m omw back to Amoladora. I stop and get more wine and fruit. Back at her place, we sip wine and try and watch tv but we mostly talk.

Then she asks me the big one. “Would you mind helping me get an apartment down here?” The question catches me off guard. “Um yea. Sure.” Baby unloads about her situation. She wants an apartment in town and already has it picked out. She just needs help getting it. Finding a job has been close to impossible. “Honestly, I really don’t want to work at all,” she says. “I just need a daddy to take care of me,” she says.

I feel the S burning on my chest again. I have to control myself before I leap off the couch and into my Cap’n-Sav-a-hoe outfit.

I hear my cape flapping in the wind as I prepare to swoop down and save her. Ok I’m being silly.

But her request comes with strings. She wants me to get the apartment in my name. Uh…..

Suddenly I’m doubtful. I tell her I’m not comfy doing that. But she says she can’t get it in her name due to not having a job. I tell her how I can get her the documentation she needs, but she feels that’s fraudulent and doesn’t want to go that route. We go back and forth but baby is adamant that she wants the apt and wants it in my name. Amoladora tells me I’m less likely to run out on her if its in my name. It’s a story I’ve heard before. Babies want me to get a car or apartment in my name that way I’m obligated to pay for it. Not a bad approach actually. The only time I don’t want to do something like that is when I know the sugar isn’t going to last long.

But its never worked for me. Last time I signed a lease, baby girl ran out on the lease. Left me holding a fairly big rent payment. She was gone, apt was empty and I had 3 months left to pay. And that was the second time that happene dot me. The first time the girl left after a month and she damaged the floor. I’m still jaded about signing leases and stuff. So naturally, I wasn’t looking to even take the chance.

“Would you at least consider it?” she asks. Sure I say. With that, we start playing. We end up back in her room but she only lets me make out with her. WTF? Says she’s a little sore. I would have stayed home if I knew I wasn’t getting any nookie. I know. I was being selfish.  I get up to leave, but Amoladora doesn’t want me to go. She lays on me to prevent me from getting up. I like it. Feels good to be appreciated. “This is how it’ll be when we get my place.” Nicely done Amoladora. I’m warming up to the idea. We end up rolling around in the bed playing around before she falls asleep. I stay up another hour, Bart hard as a rock and nothing to do with it.

Fuck. I can’t win.

Staying the night is rare for me. Sugar babies usually don’t get down like that unless you’re off  on a trip or something. Baby lays on me the first part of the night  like I’m a teddy bear. But I wake up about 3am and freezing to death and hearing this grinding sound. I look down at my body and I have no cover. I look over at Amoladora and she has all the covers. WTF?  I’m so cold I’m starting to go numb. I keep hearing this gnawing, grinding sound. I manage to get part of the sheet from her stingy ass but it only mildly keeps me warm. I manage to doze off for a bit only to be awakened again by the sound. Now baby is back on me again, wrapped in the comforter, grinding her teeth together.

I can’t win I tell you. Smh. No nookie, freezing my ass off and this teeth grinder over here (Amoladora ) wants her own place. Only in the bowl.

I fall back asleep despite the cold and noise. I wake at 6 and I got morning wood. Really? Any other morning my old ass would be be as soft as tissue. But this morning I’m standing strong and nowhere to put it. I give. The sugar gods are frowning on me.

I wake Amoladora up and tell her goodbye and head back home to freshen up. I get to work but luckily for my tired ass things are slow. All the big boys are gone for a conference. Cool. I might close my door and catch a nap. Then my phone starts blowing up. Amoladora wants to know what I think about the apt. I see she’s well rested. We spend the rest of the day talking, mostly her trying to convince me to put the apt in my name and me saying no. Amoladora tells me she wants me to come back over that night. I have to fly out the next day to join the fam so I’m not sure. But she insist. She wants to get a hotel this time. Turns out her roommate came home and saw my shoes at the door and got uncomfortable. Said he couldn’t sleep with another man in the house. Go figure. I tell her we can use the house, which is usually a big no no. But the fam’s out of town so I’ll bypass the hotel. She also wants me to try and get the weed again. I hit up my connect and after work I swing by and pick up the cannabis.

I go by and pick her up. “Your car’s so loud,” she says. “It vibrates. Its kind of naughty.” I look over at her in disbelief and think to myself, I am so tearing this pussy up tonight.” We stop by the store for some cigarillo’s and we head back to my house.

I pop the garage and drive right in letting the garage down behind us, just in case the neighbors were watching. We head to the guest house and she cracks open the cigarillo and re-rolls it with the 420....

and then we head out to the patio with our drinks and stuff.

I pull out a Cohiba and light it. Hadn’t had one in awhile. We sip wine, laugh and talk as she blazes.

Damn I hope the neighbors aren’t in their backyards too. I put the cigar out and take a couple of hits with baby. Amoladora finished it tho, while sipping wine with me.

We’re both sweaty from being out in the summer heat so we go back inside and watch a little TV. She brings up the apt. again. I keep telling her I’m fine with paying for everything but she wants it in my name still. I tell her I’m strongly considering it, just to keep her from talking about it anymore. I’m ready to get to the rest of the night’s festivities. Before we can get started she’s got the munchies all of a sudden. We make a quick dash to the burger spot, get the combo and then back to the house.

After she eats half of everything (love how you sugarbabies hate to eat all your food around men. It’s the cutest shit ever. But I know your asses are hungry. ). We retire to the bedroom to have more fun. She excuses herself to the bathroom and a few minutes later she comes out wearing some sexy lingerie.

As we kiss, baby tells me she wants to spend the night again. And I remembered to take my Lamar Odum’s too? OMG I’m sooooo  going to miss my flight in the morn.

But, things weren’t as good as the night before. I go down and taste the kitty, but she stops me early and says, “Come fuck me……” I climb on top. No quickie’s tonight. I’m full of the herbals and I’m ready. Not sure how long I went, but baby grabbed me by the chin and asked me to hurry up and cum. Told me it was hurting. I decide to end things, dumping my unborn into the plastic latex. Afterwards, we lay in each other’s arms and talk more. She doesn’t bring up the apt. again. Instead we talk about all the things we’ll be doing together once she lives here permanently.

“We don’t have to use condoms daddy,” she tells me. Only in the bowl. “Once you get the apartment I’ll get on BC and everything. You’ll be the only guy I’m sleeping with.”

Then she hits me with more news.

“I have a son,” she says. I’m like WTF? Why the cloak and dagger. Why not tell me upfront. Not that it was a big deal or anything but I felt like we had a pretty good beginning so no need to lie. She tells me she didn’t want to scare me away. As a sugar daddy I’ve seen most everything so her having kids is no big deal. We kiss passionately and I try to get some more kitty but she’s not having it. We fall asleep at some point and she starts grinding her teeth again. It doesn’t keep me up this time and the next thing I know I’m staring angrily at the alarm clock going off.

We jump up, get dressed. “Can I keep the weed daddy?” she asks as we head to the garage. “I’ll keep it for us so you don’t have to worry about it.”

Heeeeeeeeell naw. She ain’t smoking up all my shit.I might need this in the coming weeks.

But I say nicely, “Oh no. i’ll give you some of it.” We head out before the neighbors are up leaving for work. I drop Amoladora off and then speed to the airport.

Over the next few days we keep texting here and there. Mostly staying in touch and talking about how much time we’re going to spend together when I get back. She wants me to hit up the apartments first thing when I get back. I must admit, by the time I board the plane to return to the states, I’m missing Amoladora.

I get back a couple days ahead of the family. Big board meeting on Monday so I had to be there in case the BoD had questions for me or my dept. For lunch, I go by Amoladora for some fun. She’s wearing a maxi dress, nothing underneath. We do little talking as I raise the dress up over her head to reveal her naked body underneath. I get a strong whiff of the body wash, signaling she’s all fresh for Daddy.  Once again I push her back gently on the bed and bury my face between her legs, thrashing that pink muff. This is a few rounds later so I know right where to concentrate on. Within moments she’s squeezing my head and ears…She tries to pull away but I’m unstoppable.  She starts shaking again and but she’s not running from me this time. She lets out along moan, signaling the bell had been wrung.

I get her up and make her turn around on her knees. Time for some doggie. I give her a nice slap here and there as I pound her from the back. Then I stop, grab her by the waist and pull her back and forth on me rapidly and repeatedly. “Daddy....” The ass looks like it has waves rippling through it as she she slams into me. I wish i could have took a pic of it too.

Yea I know.

Afterwards, we freshen up and swing by the apt. complex. Nice place. Two story condo’s. Nice neighborhood in uptown. They’ve completely renovated the apts. Wouldn't mind living there myself if I were single. We look at a few that are big enough for her and the youngin then go back to the office to fill out the paperwork and then we’re gone. She’s hungry so we stop by one of my fav Chinese places. The tone is changing rapidly. She’s nice now. More attentive. Even takes back my order because they messed it up. We talk more about the apt. She tells me about her son and how she came to be in the situation she’s in. Then she surprises me again, “Is it ok if I work daddy?”

“What do you mean?” I ask. She tells me with me paying her rent and giving her an allowance plush child support from baby daddy she doesn’t really need to work. But at the same time, she’s new to town so she can’t fathom what she’s going to do with her time. So she’s thinking about getting a job at a bar or restaurant. Cool with me. I take her home and just stop long enough for her to get out. “You don’t’ want to come in daddy?” she says, rubbing my arm.

Nah. I got to get back to work. I kiss her by and head back to work. I needed to get home before the fam came home and make sure nothing incriminating was left behind. I give the guest house a once over and then I have cleaning lady tidy up. That night, I meet with the Oracle. Needed to discuss the apt. thing. The whole idea of it in my name has me nervous. I need advice. The Oracle tells me it’s a bad idea. If I had known the girl more than 7 days, she’d say yes. But its too early. She reminds me of the last time I did this and how I was left paying on an apt for months while baby up and left. She also reminds me of the risk I’m taking. Anything could happen. Baby girl could run out on the lease and damage the place and I’d be responsible. Something could happen to her and her son and I’d be involved. On and on.

Hadn’t thought about all that.  A few hours later I text Amoladora and tell her I’m fine what paying for everything, but I just can’t put the apt in my name. Too risky and . For the next 24 hours we text back and forth on the subject. But I just can’t do it.

Then it happens. Just like many of the girls before her,  the text start trailing off. Generally its not apparent, but I notice immediately. I try to keep it going but Amoladora is fading fast from my grip. Damn. I thought we had a good thing too.

By now I’m texting I’m talking regularly with Casino and Firecracker. I’m also getting ready to meet Firecracker for the first time. As the days go on, Amoladora becomes more and more silent. Before text would be answered right away, but now hours go by. Soon, no response at all.

Amoladora’s exit is bitter sweet as it were. The pics of Firecracker and Casino got me quite excited. Two bad ass black chicks. Hadn’t really been involved with any since Nebraska. And Casino’s body is just quite simply – extraordinary. I hate it that things didn’t work out with her. I’ll tell you all about it later....

A week after things go cold, I’ve gone out with Firecracker. Casino’s stopped texting. But I still send Amoladora a text to see if she’s gone for good. No response. I do actually like her and other than the name on the lease I was going to make her quite comfortable. Then to add to my woes a week after that Firecracker goes MIA. She stops texting too. Sigh. I am not winning.

Now we’re in July and I’m SBS (sugababy single). Its looking like its going to be dry spell for the summer. Perhaps its time to get out the sugar game? Put up my Capn’ Sav’em outfit and cape?

By the time I’m ready to call it quits, Casino text me. She’ll be back in town the next day and wants too meet when she gets back….To be continued

[mylutteoheart]

When we knew what love was (chapter 2)

So the next chapter is finally here. It took me ages to write this because I had zero inspiration until now. It’s kind of long. But I think it’s a good chapter. I hope the next won’t take so long. I’m out of prompts for one shots. So if you have a prompt suggestion, you can send them in my ask. You can request Lutteo and Simbar and maybe Gastina too. Anyways enjoy, the chapter. Btw I wrote half of this chapter in the middle of the night, so there might be some mistakes in it.

chapter 1 / chapter 3/ chapter 4 / chapter 5

The Pain Of A Broken Heart

Matteo comes home after skating for hours on the rink, trying to stop thinking about Luna. He hasn’t talked to her since it happened. He needs distance, so that they could both move on from each other. It isn’t as easy as he thought it would be. How could he have been so stupid to think that it wouldn’t be hard on him. She is the first girl he ever fell in love with, she’s probably also the last one he’ll ever be in love with. He didn’t know what to do. He really wants to be with her, but he knows that would be a bad idea. He is trying to find a distraction, so he turns on the TV.

 That was not a good idea. When it was on, he saw there was a movie on that Luna and him had seen together, it was one of those sappy romantic comedies. The kind of movies she loves but he hates them. He still watched them with her, giving him an excuse to cuddle with her. But also because she loves them.

 He remembers that night pretty good. It was one of their first dates ever. The restaurant cancelled their reservation, so they looked for an alternative. That’s when she came up with the classic dinner and a movie date. They ordered pizza at her favorite place. They ate their dinner while watching the movie. It was one of the best dates he ever had.

 He was too deep in his thoughts to notice his father coming home.

 “Matteo!”, his dad was practically yelling.

Matteo looked up, surprised to see him. “Father, I didn’t hear you come in.”, he said, trying to sound as innocent as possible. He stands up.

 “Obviously, otherwise I didn’t need to call your name a dozen of times.”, his dad sounds pretty mad.

 “I’m sorry, I was just thinking about my future.”

 “I hope so. You weren’t thinking about that girl were you ? Matteo, I’ve told you so many times that she is not worth it. She is not worth throwing your future away and to follow in my footsteps.”

 “Yes, father. I know.” “Now go to your room and study.” Matteo obeys him and goes upstairs. But his mind isn’t up to studying and he knows he won’t be able to sleep either. His head was on the moon and refuses to leave it. He has a sleepless night.

 Matteo looks at his clock and sees it’s time to wake up and get ready for school. He gets ready and decides to walk to school. It was only 20 minutes away. This way, he would have some time to clear his head and trying to find a way to avoid Luna.

 Luna didn’t sleep at all last night. Her head full of worry and of course Matteo. When she finally found some time to sleep, she had to wake up an hour later. She is exhausted, she hides this fact by putting on some light make-up. Enough to hide the bags under her eyes.

 When she finally arrives at school, just in time, she notices Nina waiting for her. She starts to run, trying to get to class in time.

 On their way, they bump into Matteo. Who looked even more tired than her. When they ran into each other, she saw the bags under his eyes and she looked him into the eyes for a split second, but she thought she recognised sadness in them.

 It felt like his eyes were a reflection of hers, only are her eyes green and his hazel. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.” He finally says, she can hear the tiredness in his voice even if he tried to hide it. But then again, he can’t hide anything from her. He knows that as well. That’s why he walks aways as fast as his feet can take him.

 “Wow, it was like watching two ghosts bumping into each other.” Nina adds and they continue to walk to class.

The day went by fast for Luna. She couldn’t wait to get on the rink to skate and forget everything for a while.

When she arrived at Jam & Roller, she stops by Simon first.

“Hey, Simon. How are you ?” He was working at the bar.

“Luna, hi. I’m great and you ?” he asks.

“I’m okay.” She tries to sound happy but he knows that she is lying.

“I know you and you’re not fine. What happened ?”

Luna knows she can’t fake this any longer so she gives in. “It’s Matteo. I know something is going with him but he won’t talk to me.”

“I think that everything will be fine, maybe you just need to give him some time.”

“It’s been weeks, Simon. I don’t think that we are ever gonna be fine again.” Luna sighs and does her best no to cry. She is fighting the tears that are already welling up in her eyes. “I can’t do this anymore, I can’t feel sad anymore. I think it’s time that I finally move on from him. Simon, do you think I will be able to do that?”

“You are going to be okay, Luna. You will be able to move on. I know because I’ve been through this and I am fine now. You just need to give it time. All wounds need time to heal, right ?”

Luna couldn’t stop her herself from smiling with this. “Thank you, Simon. For helping, I feel a little better now. I’m going to skate. I’ll see you later.” Luna walks away and goes to the rink.

Matteo and Gastòn arrive in the cafeteria  of Jam & Roller. They go sit at a table, Gastòn is going on and on about Nina, Matteo is happy for him. But it’s kind of getting annoying hearing him talk about her all the time. Gastòn suddenly stops talking because he notices that Matteo is too distracted to listen to him. He waves in front of Matteo’s face, trying to get him out of his thoughts. Matteo looks surprised and asks: “What’s going on?”

“You didn’t hear a word I just said. You were way too distracted.”

“I’m sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Let me guess, you were thinking about a certain girl named Luna.”

Matteo smiles lightly. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“What happened now?”

“I know I need to forget her, I know we can’t get back together. It’ll only end in more pain, I don’t want to do that to her. I Just can’t forget her, I’ve never felt this way before. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her. I know it’s impossible.”

“I’m sorry Matteo. I wish I could help but don’t you think it’s better to tell her the truth, just to get some closure. I still think she needs to know.”

“No, I won’t. It’s better to leave it be and take as much distance as possible. It’ll be easier that way, for the both of us.”

“I must agree with Gastòn, Matteo. Look, I don’t know what your big secret it but Luna is hurting a lot. Maybe it’ll be a lot easier if you just tell her what’s going on. At least then she’ll know where she stands. Where you two stand. I think you should let her know if you still have a chance together. She needs that to know if she has to move on from you or not.” Simon interrupts them. Matteo looks at him and is surprised.

“Simon, great, you’re joining the conversation without us asking for it.” Matteo says sarcastically.

“I’m just telling you what I think and I want to help you both.”

“It’s weird to hear you say that. You know, after what happened last year.” Matteo says.

“Luna is my best friend, I just want to see her happy.”

“Thanks for giving your opinion. I’ll think about it.” Matteo is now more confused and lost as ever. He is now facing a big dilemma and he has no idea how to solve this problem.

[useyourwordspodcast]

Intolerant Karens are ruining the internet

The year 2020 is going to be remembered for a few things - one of those is the spread of a new coronavirus around the world, the other is the proliferation of the Karen meme, cancel culture being everywhere, and life just being a little crazier then any of us expected.

I need to preface this episode with something - in order to do this episode I had to run a little experiment on twitter - and I had to intentionally troll online. It doesn't make me feel the greatest to have to do that - but it is what it is. If I would have prefaced my tweet with the words: this is an intentional troll for a podcast - I would not have gotten the responses that I did. And boy did I get responses.

Before we get into what I did let's define a few things. In current culture, Karen is almost a universal meme. It stands for a person who wants to call the manager for any slight inconvenience. Did their drink come too hot? They want to talk to the manager. Too cold. Manager. Person used the wrong tone. Manager. Person did....you get the idea. And of course - the male version of Karen is Ken - and honestly I feel sorry for people named karen/ken as they have to live with the knowledge of the meme that their name has become.

Tolerance. I'm going to read this right from Merriam-Webster. sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own or the act of allowing something. The oxford dictionary further defines the word as: the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

America is a melting pot - we allow people to come from all over the world here. And we welcome people here - there is some shared values as Americans that we share - but for the most part we are tolerant of other's cultures/opinions/views - well at least not online - and America has been made better for it as we get to learn from others we may never have interacted with otherwise.

But tolerance is required in order for that to work - and online it seems more and more if you don't espouse the views of the vocal minority then you are threatened, shouted down (virtually), berated, insulted, and a whole host of other things.

When I say vocal minority - I am not kidding. Only 7% of the United States population uses twitter. 87% of people have heard of twitter - but only 7% use it. On the flipside - 88% of people have heard of Facebook and 41% have a profile on Facebook. This would be crazy enough - but it gets worse actually. Of all the content created on twitter, 80% of the content is generated by the top 10% of twitter users - and the top 10% of twitter users tend to focus on politics - specifically left leaning politics. Breaking this down further - 77% of twitter users are wealthier then the general public, and 41% are making 75k or more per year. Something important to know about all of these statistics - business accounts were taken out of the data and are not considered when averages are generated.

Now I bring up all these stats to give you an idea of what the average twitter person is. They are a very vocal minority (minority because they are typically less then 10% of the general twitter population) but they are the squeaky wheel that gets the oil. It is because of this low engagement and usage that I personally have not really engaged with twitter too much - both personally and with the podcast.

Now with all of that - what did I do last week?

Last week Kroeger (the parent company for a chain of grocery stores, jewelry stores, medical clinics, etc) posted on twitter that they were going to mandate face masks be worn by all people entering their stores starting on 7/20/2020 - and let me make this very clear - this is a privately owned company on private property - they have every right to mandate conditions of entry into their stores and if they want to require masks they are well within their rights to do so and if people do not want to wear a mask - they can be turned away at the company's discretion - and no I don't believe a store requiring a mask is an attack on anyone's rights. Now if you want to have a conversation on the effectiveness of wearing a mask and want to come at this with scientific (peer reviewed) papers - then lets have that discussion - but entry into a business is an open and shut case - as they can control entry into their business in areas where there is no local mask mandate.

So back to that tweet. I had the idea for this episode swirling around in my mind for a little bit - but had never setup a second social media account - so I decided to just go ahead and do the deed from my main social media account. So I went onto twitter and responded to the Kroeger tweet (sorry Kroeger for trolling) with the tweet of "Thanks for letting me know to no longer patronize your stores - appreciate it" - nothing incendiary about masks, nothing calling mask wearers sheeple (I have seen that way too much on social media), nothing on this being against anyone's rights, nothing about hating on people for going there wearing masks - just a simple - I choose to take my business elsewhere since your requiring a mask - and twitter did not disappoint.

You of course had a decent number of people liking the post - which is going to happen no matter what is said - but the responses - those were the things I was looking for. There were a few "glad you won't be there" posts - but those are everyday run of the mill. Then there are the intolerant karens/kens. So since this happened (and after I thanked them for participating in this experiment) a lot of the people have since privated their twitter accounts or deleted their response - one would imagine (and hope) because they were ashamed of what they wrote and did online.

So the responses? I had one person threatening to contact my employer since I was such a threat to "myself and others" with the ending of "fking winger terrorist" - because I was taking my business elsewhere? I had a bunch of others calling me "dirty and nasty mexican", idiot, and many other hateful things (again most deleted now). I had one person - one - who engaged civilly with me - and due to his civil engagement I let him in on why I was doing what I was doing and he admitted that his initial reaction was probably over the top and not necessary.

For everyone that responded to me - I responded with "I have had this virus already and recovered - please tell me why I should have to be mandated to wear a mask". Not one person brought up that it was the store requesting that I wear it (if they had - I would’ve said your right) and instead just continued their insult. One person brought up the red herring of Chicken Pox and how adults can get it since they loose resistance over the many years and say this is the same as covid stating this as a fact - when (unfortunately for them) the CDC said they are not sure on the state of immunity. If they had brought up it could be possible since we don’t have the science - they would’ve gotten a point (and as I check my list on Sunday - looks like one person did bring that up - good for them!)

A few people brought up news websites (which were not marked as safe by newsguard) and said this was their proof on why I was an idiot. I then asked for peer reviewed scientific papers on the effectiveness of either makes, immunity, etc. Their only response - there is no time for science we have to do what they say because science takes too long to be useful.

:: head scratch ::

Not one person wanted to engage in any conversation on this and instead just used twitter as a platform of outrage - using it to shout their insults with confidence that no one should even have the right to talk counter to them. They were the law - and I had to bend to their will - and if I didn't - I was an intolerant evil biggot because I dare say that I will take my business elsewhere. It would’ve been one thing if they engaged in a conversation about why I said I was taking my business elsewhere - but nope - just a quick jaunt from taking my business elsewhere to your a dirty nasty Mexican. (BTW my twitter handle is @averagehalfmex - my old twitter handle has been archived and I have reserved it in case I want to use it again)

I got all of this and to thank those involved - I tagged all the most vile people in the threads in one tweet - and I was rewarded. I had a very nice moment of schadenfreude. These people started going after one another - accusing each other of being hateful conservatives and how they dont deserve to have opinions, and they were less then human, and many other insulting things. They didn't realize they were all on the same side - and instead just went after one another. One person responded with "Did i just get punked?" because I thanked them for sharing their opinions with another going "oh you god a podcast - that’s nice - all your X number of twitter subscribers" - again I point back to the fact that only 7% of Americans use twitter to begin with and only the very loud vocal minority tend to be there.

I started out this experiment with the thesis that social media was toxic, but one of the people (as they were trying to backpeddle and insult me at the same time after I said I was going to do a podcast on this) convinced me on something - it is not social media that is toxic - it is people that are toxic - specifically the intolerant Karens/Kens that congregate on twitter.

So what can you do to not be part of the toxic online culture? Good question.

The first thing is to assume that the intentions of the person posting something comes from a place of good. Now obviously if someone is saying to kill yourself, or other things along that line you can't assume anything about that is good - just ignore those people - they are too far gone to be able to do anything about. In fact they are just looking for other people to react to their content as they enjoy the attention - the best way to destroy a troll is to just ignore them. But for everyone else - if they post an opinion that you do not agree with - assume they are coming from a spot of good intention. They have an opinion that you do not agree with - but does that necessarily mean that they are bad? No. It doesn't - I'm sure you have opinions that you hold that they would disagree with an would want them to show you respect as well if they knew about it. Social media (especially for people we don't know personally) gives us just a small glimpse into the other person's life - we don't know the full story behind why the person may hold that opinion - we all come from a variety of backgrounds which shapes our views and opinions. Plus in order to have a tolerant society - we must allow for others to have different opinions then us - show me a family that all people in the family have the exact same opinions on everything and I'll show you a boring family that is lying to everyone else and keeping their opinions secret.

Second thing to do - ask questions. Try to get to know why the other person has the perspective they have. They may have a great reason to think like they do - and once you know why their opinion might shift to the "oh that makes sense" category instead of the initial emotional based ranking of that opinion.

Third - know that people are people - they are going to have differing opinions - and this melting pot is what makes life entertaining and interesting. Everyone having the same opinions is boring - and a big red flag - group think is a dangerous thing and that is how people abuse power by using social manipulation to make group think the norm.

But above all - be good to people - don't immediately cuss someone out or insult them just because they have a different thought then you - take the opportunity to learn why they think the way they do, because when opinions are brought into the sunlight - things that are incorrect and toxic not only are exposed but are disinfected - you are unable to change a person's mind with insults - however engaging in a relationship with a person and making connections with them on a personal level is the most effective way to change a person's opinions.

By the way - I will not be releasing the screenshots of those that tweeted at me. They didn’t know they were going to be part of this experiment - and I don’t believe anyone deserves hate/cancel no matter how off base they may be at times.

Links:

https://www.omnicoreagency.com/twitter-statistics/

https://www.convinceandconvert.com/social-media-strategy/7-surprising-statistics-about-twitter-in-america/

https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2019/04/24/sizing-up-twitter-users/

Paul