#screaming in the comments like a weenie

[rethcore]

my weekend was so busy that i'm too burnt out to work on any of my personal projects at the moment and its honestly driving me apeshit that I don't have the spoons to focus on fic or keep tweaking that one shipping pic I was working on right now orz

[thatseventiesbitch]

Eric and Donna’s Pet Names

I paid special attention to this on my latest rewatch, due to some truly interesting discourse here on tumblr (and on reddit) after That ‘90s Show aired. A couple of people DM’ed me a few examples after a post I’d made, and that is what got me started on this wee project (which turned into a not-so-wee project lol). Here’s my *complete list of all the times Eric and Donna used pet names/terms of affection/nicknames to and about one another on the show(s). Honestly, they used them a lot more than I remembered, particularly Eric.

*I certainly might have missed a few. I’ll update this post if that’s the case - feel free to comment/DM me if you notice one that’s missing!

Pet names Donna uses for Eric

Donna sometimes calls Eric pet names. She’ll often use them in a light-hearted, teasing way or off-hand, but she also tends to use them when she’s concerned about him. There are a few funny/memorable one-off names (horny nerd boy and The Flash 😂) but she also calls him both honey and baby.

S2xE15 “Burning Down the House”

Donna: Eric remember when I told you to loosen up?

Eric: Oh yeah, baby.

Donna: Well, tighten up baby. When the house is on fire, the party’s over.

S3xE10 “Ice Shack”

Eric: Sweetie, what do you want to do?

Donna: Whatever you want to do, honey.

S3xE15 “Donna’s Panties”

Jackie: Why are you here? You should be with the one you love, and you love Eric. For some reason.

Donna: Shut up! There’s a lot of reasons. He’s not a blow-pop. He’s a sweetie pie.

S3xE16 “Romantic Weekend”

Donna: Wow, you must be really upset about this.

Eric: Um, kind of, yeah.

Donna: Well c’mon Eric. [Mocking him] Let’s turn that frown upside down. That’s right, let’s have super hot sex baby.

S5xE7 “Thank You”

Kelso: Check it out, I’m breadman!

Donna: [To Kelso] Shut up, Eric’s talking! [To Eric] Go ahead, honey.

S6xE7 “Christmas”

Donna: Okay we’re back and uh, if my boyfriend’s listening you’re late and I’m a little worried you’re trapped in a snow drift or something. So honey if you’re cold, I’m with ya baby.

S6xE8 “I’m A Boy”

Donna: Eric, wow, you look beat!

Eric: Yeah. I was workin’ until like, one last night.

Donna: Oh, my poor baby. I know something that’ll cheer you up. Today I got my first bridal magazine!

S6xE15 “Who Are You”

Eric: About this little celibacy kick we’re on - does that cover quickies? Cuz I can be really quick.

Donna: That’s why I call you The Flash.

Eric: That’s why you call me The Flash? I thought it was cuz I’m flashy, like an entertainer.

S6xE20 “Squeezebox”

Donna: So this is what you did while we were apart? Oh, my horny nerd boy.

S8xE1 “Bohemian Rhapsody”

Donna: Hi honey! Thank you for the postcard with the monkeys. I’m still bananas about you, too.

That ‘90s Show - S1xE1 “That ‘90s Pilot”

Donna: (Carrying in luggage) Don’t worry, honey. I got it.

and

Donna: (Carrying out luggage) Don’t worry, honey. I got it. Again.

Eric: Okay, babe?

Pet Names Eric uses for Donna

Eric uses pet names for Donna more frequently. He calls her a number of different, goofy one-off terms of endearment throughout the series (including cupcake, beautiful, dollface, sex muffin, pretty mama, my little crazy straw, etc 😂), but he repeatedly uses baby/babe or calls her m’lady or my girl.

S2xE3 “The Velvet Rope”

Donna: Eric, you here?

Eric: Yeah, I’m in the living room, baby.

S2xE8 “Sleepover”

Eric: Damn

Donna: What’s wrong?

Eric: *Screams* I mean, hey baby.

S2xE15 “Burning Down the House”

Donna: Eric remember when I told you to loosen up?

Eric: Oh yeah, baby.

S2xE16 “The First Time”

Eric: Hey good lookin’. Have a cocktail weenie?

S2xE20 “Kiss of Death”

Eric: Hey, beautiful.

Donna: How’s it going?

Eric: Pretty good. Except I found this here kitten who told me he was looking for someone to love him.

S2xE21 “Kelso’s Serenade”

Eric: Hey baby, let’s say you grab papa a root beer, huh?

Donna: Listen you worm. I am not your slave or your waitress or your damn maid. So don’t get all “Archie Bunker” - ie on me, or I will kick your ass to the moon!

S3xE1 “Reefer Madness” (*Note that this one is a fantasy sequence, but I find it funny and wanted to include it 🤣)

Donna: Gee wilikers Eric, where have you been? You missed choir practice!

Eric: Sorry, dollface. But now thanks to marijuana, I’m incurably insane.

S3xE2 “Red Sees Red”

Eric: Buckle up, Donna, cuz the next twelve seconds are all about you, babe.

S3xE7 “Baby Fever”

Donna: It’s all in the wrist. See?

Eric: Hey. Look at the wrist on my girl.

S3xE10 “Ice Shack”

Eric: Such a small price to pay to keep m’lady happy.

and

Eric: Sweetie, what do you want to do?

Donna: Whatever you want to do, honey.

and

Eric: See, I have small feet... Donna - you going somewhere, honey?

S3xE11 “Who Wants It More”

Donna: Eric, you can’t just ignore my ideas.

Eric: Oh. Donna, you’ll get the same ‘A’ I get. Relax, baby.

S3xE12 “Fez Gets The Girl”

Eric: I, Eric Forman, your boyfriend, am Pricemart’s newest employee of the month.

Donna: Eric, that’s great. Are you done?

Eric: Well, yeah. Top that, cupcake.

S3xE13 “Dine & Dash”

Donna: Well damnit, let’s stoop to their level. Or an even lower level.

Eric: Yeah. Oh I’m with you baby, yeah.

S3xE16 “Romantic Weekend”

Eric: Okay, okay, you know what. Let’s turn that frown upside down. That’s right - let’s have super hot sex, baby! [Donna hits him] And by super hot sex I mean let’s talk about your sad feelings.

S3xE19 “Eric’s Naughty No-No”

Eric: It’s just - there were all these people, and they were doing all these things that we’ve never done, and it seemed like they really enjoyed doing this one thing especially. And I just thought you know who would enjoy doing that one thing especially? M’lady.

S5xE22 “You Shook Me”

Donna: Okay look, maybe Eric is working with dog food. But he’s not complaining and he’s not quitting, and we’re gonna get married no matter what you think. Or how he smells.

Eric: Aw, thanks honey.

S5xE25 “Celebration Day”

Eric: [Thinks he’s speaking to Donna] Why there you are, my little sex muffin.

S6xE2 “Join Together”

Eric: I can’t take it. Watching Donna lie out, knowing she’s gonna go to college and I have to stay here, she’s so, so -

Kelso/Hyde: Juicy.

Eric: (Dreamily) My juicy.

and 

Eric: [to Hyde] There’s no time, my friend. I have a distraught neighbor girl to attend to. [to Donna] Dry your eyes, baby. The lovin’s on its way!

S6xE20 “Squeezebox”

Eric (thinking to himself): Screw it, sneak attack is my only hope. I’m gonna go with the yawn n’ grab. Watch out for my hand, pretty mama, cuz I’m not really tired.

S6xE23 “My Wife”

Hyde: C’mon Forman. It’ll be one last night of the finest debauch that Point Place has to offer.

Eric: Hyde, all I need is my sweetie here for the rest of my life.

S7xE3 “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction”

Donna: One of Red’s beers?

Eric: Well there’s a new sheriff in town, little lady.

and

Eric (to Red): I’m saying here’s what’s gonna happen: you’re gonna accept my apology man to man, and then sit down with me and my girl here, and enjoy this beer.

S7xE20 “Gimme Shelter”

Eric: How you doin’ my little buttercup?

and

Donna: I don’t think I can make it to your party.

Jackie: Donna, you have to!

Eric: I’m afraid I’m out too. I gotta tend to my crooked little flower here.

Donna: You know Eric, calling me cute little nicknames doesn't make up for what you did.

Eric: Okay, okay, whatever you say, my little crazy straw.

S7xE21 “2121 S. Michigan Avenue”

Eric: Look, stay away from my girl, okay Casey Kelso? Or wait, maybe I should say - Casey Smellso.

S7xE23 “Take It or Leave It”

Eric: Well hello, toots! Back from your date so soon? Used to be you had to buy a girl dinner if you want her to slide all over you moanin’ like a ghost.

That ‘90s Show - S1xE1 “That ‘90s Pilot”

Donna: Leia -

Eric: Yeah, go. Just unload, baby. Both barrels. Go.

and

Donna: (Carrying out luggage) Don’t worry, honey. I got it. Again.

Eric: Okay, babe?

[betbeton]

𓆸 With Love ♡

Soft Moments With Various Haikyuu Men

Drabbles

Contents - Angst With Comfort

Cut Added Due To Length

GN - Reader

✎ Life has me by the throat so why not write the reader play just dance with tendou?

⪧ Tendou Satori

The infectious laughter bubbling from Tendou's lips as he stomped around in the sitting room waving his hands wildly as he belted out the lyrics to some song neither of you knew, but he was giving it his all. A smile tugged at your face as you sniffled slightly, the sting of tears threatening to spill from your eyes lessening the more you watched Tendou make a fool of himself. Standing you dropped the fuzzy blanket you had sought comfort from into a heap on the sofa as Tendou slipped his hand into your own with the controller mushed between both of your palms. Before you could protest over him smearing his sweaty hand all over your clammy post cry hand he had slipped his other arm loosely around your waist as he swung the two of you around like a maniac with a wild grin on his face.

Tendou and you stumbled around in a messy recreation of a waltz as the game went forgotten aside from the occasional vibrations emanating from the controller mushed between your joined hands. Laughter bubbled through the now warm air of the sitting room as Tendou swung his body about dragging you with him in your wild embrace as he got more into the dance, a wide grin on both of your faces. It was bliss, the thing that had been bothering you for the majority of the morning to the point you had sobbed and sniffled in a heap on the sofa with a comfortable blanket wrapped around your body. Thankfully though there was one lanky dork who always knew how to make you smile and forget your worries.

⪧ Miya Osamu

You couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of your mouth as you spooned another mouthful of soup past your lips. Gulping down the warm veg filled broth your teary eyed gaze wandered over back to Osamu as he gulped down his own meal. Life had been wild the past few weeks the stress was getting to you, and you knew eating wasn't exactly a healthy way to deal with something as serious as stress, but sometimes a simple meal or a specific snack was all someone needed to brighten their day... And Osamu knew exactly what to do at those times. Food was his love language after all and it was also some way for him to show that despite his sometimes blunt comments he still saw your emotions as important and wanted what was best for you.

When your spoon tinked against the bottom of your bowl Osamu was quick to scoop up the dish and drop it in the sink before he sat a mug of tea on the table with just the right amount of add ins mixed into the drink for your liking. He didn't say anything about the puffiness of your eyelids or the sore cream you had spread on your nose after using an abrasive tissue for so long earlier. He did however lean down and press a kiss to your cheek as he mumbled out against your skin with a sly grin as you poked your tongue out and chirped about the tea being too hot.

"You're such a weenie." He teased which had you grinning as well as you lightly swatted at him from your seated position.

⪧ Kita Shinsuke

Kita knew what it was like to have jarring and sometimes harsh comments thrown one's way. He had been called many things, but they never bothered him all that much at the end of the day... Though when you ended up curled under a blanket on your shared bed as your eyes grew glossy the longer you stared unblinking at Kita it made his heart throb for you. With clenched hands and and aching heart he trudged down the hall and away from the bedroom the moment tears dripped from your eyes and down your cheeks. A large part of his mind screamed at him to go back and comfort you, but Kita knew you needed something more than simply him holding you as you cried over the harsh jabs your peers had spewed earlier that day.

Returning to your bedroom Kita sat down on the side of the bed as he rifled through the convince store bag searching for the thing he had bought you alongside your favourite snacks. A small noise bubbled from Kita's chest when your blanket wrapped form squished against him as you sought comfort. Turning he cupped your cheek with one hand as he used one of the wet wipes he had purchased to gently clean your tear streaked cheeks and sooth the irritated skin of your nose. Leaning forward he pressed a kiss to your forehead before he let you drag him down flat onto the bed so the two of you could cuddle and momentarily forget the world.

⪧ Ojiro Aran

Aran normally knew exactly what to do in these types of situations, but not when it was his partner sobbing in the car at the mere thought of having to attend a banquet. Reaching a hand out Aran slipped his fingers between your own and tugged your hand towards his mouth as he pressed a kiss to your skin. As his lips lingered he tried to decipher what could have possibly caused this. What had gone wrong and how could he prevent it from happening in the future so he could keep you content... If he could even prevent whatever it is that had caused you so much distress. Letting his hand drop he kept his grasp on your hand firm as he spoke in a soft voice, one he would normally reserve for when he's confessing his love for you late at night. "Hey sweets, want to talk about what upset you?"

The air in the car grew silent and still as you sniffled one last time teary eyes skirting upwards to gaze into Aran's warm concerned orbs as you mumbled out your reply almost embarrassed. "It's dumb, but I was so worried about embarrassing you tonight I just got overwhelmed."

"It's not dumb. Everyone worries about stuff and everyone cries, you just needed to relieve some stress and worry so don't apologize over that." His response was swift and confident as both of his hands moved to cup your cheeks as he gently turned your face to the side slightly so he could press a kiss to your temple.

"Besides how can I be embarrassed with such a cutie on my arm. Everyone will be jealous." Aran teased lightly which earned a bout of laughter from you.

[zevfern]

The cast of Fire Emblem 3 Houses as Pro Wrestlers: The Golden Deer

The last of the three houses at the Officer's Academy, Fodlan's own AEW to the Black Eagles and Blue Lions' WWE.

Hilda Valentine Goneril: Claude's retainer is always happy to boss people around, so the easy comparison for the pink haired girl would be Alexa Bliss, but her deep but hidden commitment to her friends and a mean streak hidden under all that makeup and jewelry make me think of Dark Order's lieutenant at their peak: Anna Jay.

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester: with an air of authority, a stiff upper lip, a refined personality and a surprising capacity for violence, the future leader of County Gloucester is none other than William Regal.

(Considering the fact that in Verdant Wind and Silver Snow, Leicester ends up being part of the greater Unified Fodlan, if Lorenz ends up in control of what used to be the Alliance, he'd very much be in a role like Regal's when he was general manager of NXT)

Leonie Pinelli: as a prospective mercenary, Leonie is an outsider to the social structure of knighthood, so it would be completely reasonable for her wrestling counterpart to also be an outsider. Ronda Rousey sounds like the perfect match for Leonie, even if I do think Leonie has the mental fortitude to stick with MMA instead of changing careers like the "Baddest Woman on the Planet" did.

Marianne von Edmund: this young woman cursed with the Crest of the Beast is normally very kind, soft spoken and reserved. But, as shown on rare occasions in game, sometimes her crest does manifest itself, granting her incredible strength and ferocity. Keeping with this theme of being gentle outside of battle and fierce once in it, I would say Marianne would adopt a different persona in ring, so my two personal picks for her counterpart would be either Rosemary or Abadon.

(Marianne and Mercedes as a tag team like Rosemary and Allie were in Impact would be awesome.)

Ignatz Victor: this bespectacled young man is, to be perfectly honest, a bit of a weenie. Despite this, he's quite capable as an artist, and post-timeskip he's handsome to boot. An unconventional pick for him, but fellow ariste, wannabe casanova and total weenie Ryan Nemeth.

Lysithea von Ordelia: with her life severely shortened by the experiments done on her by the Slitherers, this young warlock wants to squeeze as much as possible out of her time left, often disregarding her health in the service of her country and friends, especially during the post-timeskip period. There are no easy comparisons to a member of the women's rosters at WWE or AEW, but her willingness to risk life and limb in battle is very much like Darby Allin.

(that's two Golden Deer with face paint gimmicks, even if they're vastly different)

Raphael Kirchner: let's set the scene: Dimitri Alexander Reigns is gloating about his recent success beating the piss out of a jobber, stating that he'll take the fans' dreams and kill every last one of them. Suddenly, a voice rings out from the entrance ramp: "I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!" Enter Raphael Kirchner, the Monster Among Men. Braun Strowman could not find a better stand in to throw office chairs at the Big Hog Dog in Fodlan.

(And to reinforce my belief that these two are connected by screaming, just look at Ralph's supports with Flayn. He's a big ol dude who loves to SCREAM)

Next up: The Church of Seiros. Feel free to reblog and comment with suggestions and feedback!

[marsipanic]

Not to be a big weenie but as a creator my biggest fucking grievance is how hard it is to get feedback on anything. If you don’t like my work that’s fine! Can you tell me what you don’t like? Can you actually give valid criticism? Or what you do like? It’s like screaming into an echo chamber half the fucking time. And even when I comment and leave thoughtful comments on others, trying to engage, NOTHING. I want a writer community so bad and it’s never gonna happen. 

[orinokomcgee]

If anyone was wondering, this random countdown (although not posted everyday) was for my Birthday which is today (10/10/23).

I am now a 29 year old and it feels odd.

I hope you've liked my Doctor Who countdown. There were some hit and misses along the way but I think this is going be my thing now. If I'm ever in need of a countdown I can use this, or just this every year to improve my skills.

I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that I still have a lot to learn when it comes to digital art and I really hope that at some point I can make something as impressive as the things you find on a professional looking DW poster or Big Finish story cover.

I find creating digital art like this relaxing as well as challenging. I have many ideas that just appear in my mind that I want to recreate and some of them are a doddle (mainly the happy accidents) some on the other hand are so fantastical that they're too complex to make. I get incredibly angry with myself when they don't end up how I wanted.

I shouldn't get angry, I'm still developing.

Anyhoo, that's the explanation.

I kind wish I started at 15 but I kept forgetting THAT AND I FORGOT JO MARTIN! (Screams in anguish).

Will probably update a bunch of these because I was either half asleep when I made them (having teenie weenie micro sleep moments as I was editing) or because I was only giving myself a couple of hours to come up with a plan, try and make something and then bung it onto the internet.

This is too long of an explanation isn't it?

Blame it on my "age".

Let me know what you think. (I love a comment or two).

I'm thinking of uploading a piece that I made that I thought was brilliant but...I need to finish it and not complain about how bad I think it is.

Right that's me off. I need a brew and maybe write some Doctor Who fanfiction because I keep putting it off.

Tattie bye!

Orinoko McGee ~ The newly appointed, 29 year old BERK!

This is a countdown.

The Countdown continues...but to what?

[multi-purpose-tool-guy]

Detective Ben Solo has never met a crime scene he can't read like an open book. That is, until The General killings started.

Bad Things by @ellabesmirched

[sansblkgirlfriend]

Greedy - (C.JH) (Drabble)

Synopsis: You're just a little greedy when it comes to your boyfriend Pairing: Choi Jongho Rating: 18+ MDNI

Tags: Dom!Jongho, Sub!Reader, unprotected sex (wrap your weenies), degradation, slight dumbification,

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mhm…Look at you, Fucked so god you can barely speak..”

“You missed me that much? You missed me fucking you so good.”

Jongho just chuckled as he listened to your pitiful moans. Your legs felt like jello as he was pounding into you. His grip on your hips was strong enough to leave bruises, giving a delicious feeling of pain and pleasure.

You remembered a comment Jongho made while you were cuddling together one day this week, how he would love to just come home to you all dolled up for him. Makeup and hair done pretty for him to ruin it, all for him. 

His pretty little cub.

So who were you to deny his request?

That’s how you ended up face down, ass up with Jongho fucking you like a mad man, His deep groans were music to your ears and your pitiful sounding moans were his motivation to keep going. “Please, keep going..” You whimper out and Jongho simply chuckles, “I am cub…I am. Don’t you worry, my greedy little thing..” 

You gasped as you felt yourself clench around his cock. Dirty talk always sent shocks through you, and it was rare when Jongho did it. So to hear him talking to you like this just made you melt.

“‘M not greedy..” You pouted and he smirks at you, slowing his pace earning a whine from you.

“Oh yeah? But you’re the one begging me to go faster…pleading with me to fuck your stupid little brains out. Even though i’m giving you exactly what you want..” Jongho says, his thrusts being slow and rhythmic, Hitting that sweet spot in you.

“And since you’re being greedy, I can be greedy too~”

His pace suddenly picks up again, earning a near scream of pleasure from you.

“Now, shut up and take it like a good girl.”

[teklarn]

𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾

character(s): katuski bakugou x gn!reader 

a/n : y’all this was gonna be for kirishima bc i love possessive kiri but like it works so well with bakugou. first part will be from third pov, following parts will be from second pov (reblogs are greatly appreciated !! <3)

summary: bakugou x gn!reader. they have feelings for one another but have no idea how to express them, however y/n has someone pining for their attention. 

genre: uhh idk a lil bit teeny-weeny dash of angst i guess 

warnings: mild cursing, possessive bakugou, mutual pining, jealousy, aged-up to third year, possessive y/n, love triangle (square?), implied manga spoilers but not directly stated, tiny bitta tokage slander (sorry lol), slow burn romance (like SLOWWW SLOW BURN), lowkey enemies to lovers, like a lotta tension between bakugou and y/n 

word count: 3k

UNEDITED w/ minimal or no typos. i shoved it into grammarly’s ass and prayed for the best okay 

here’s pt 2 loves <3

- - - 

y/n was used to picking and their skin, irritated at the girls fawning over bakugou. they were always on the sidelines, watching from afar, jealousy warping their heart. could these stupid girls not see that bakugou didn’t even care for their attention? 

this time it was setsuna tokage who was begging for his eyes on her. y/n assumed it started in their first year when they’d been put against one another when the classes still had a clashing rivalry. (they still did, much more tame now, however.) 

she leaned forwards, tugging on his short sleeve. bakugou’s uniform jacket was slung over one shoulder. he’d lost a lot of his angry demeanor from when he was younger, however it was easy to tell when he was pissed. it was inevitable he wasn’t going to lose his temper entirely. 

it was easy to ignore the girls—most of the time, at least. what was ticking y/n off the most was the fact that bakugou didn’t seem pissed at all. his face was neutral, almost like the perfect mirror of todoroki on a daily basis. his eyes were not fired up in his usual ‘get the hell off of me’ manner. he was relaxed. 

it didn’t seem like he reciprocated tokage’s feelings, however he wasn’t doing anything to get her off him and it was pissing y/n off to no end. 

her sensuous lips were pushed into a slight pucker as she spoke, arching her back in a manner that made it appear much more provocative than she probably intended. 

bakugou stood there, eyes flicking from her grasp on his sleeve and back up to her eyes. he didn’t say anything, didn’t move, only kept looking her up and down. not in a romantic way, of course. right? 

y/n scoffed at themselves. they swallowed the lump in their throat, shoving down the pinging envy in their chest with it. why wasn’t he reacting? 

heat rushed to y/n’s cheeks. why do i care? 

tokage was nearing his face. she didn’t have any intent to press her lips to his, which y/n was more than glad for. 

y/n had come to the conclusion they had feelings for the explosive boy weeks ago. perhaps they always had, but now that they were fully conscious of them... gosh, it was frustrating. 

“you’re staring again.” 

y/n turned to see kirishima, the only other person who knew about their feelings for bakugou. he’d lost the twinkle in his eyes after first year. he’d picked up a dominating sneer and a withering glare reserved for anyone who desired to cross his friends. everyone at UA had after what went down. it was a shock most of them survived anything. 

“so?” y/n snapped, shoving their hands away and kicking a pebble before them. kirishima and y/n continued their walk through the courtyard. 

“so it makes you look creepy.” 

“no, it doesn’t. he didn’t even notice me.” 

kirishima snapped his fingers. “partially my point here. that’s bakugou katsuki, you really think he’s going to notice you?” 

“excuse me?” 

kirishima pursed his lips, twiddling his thumbs. “i didn’t mean it like that, y/n. it’s just...well, he has so much to work for.” 

y/n raised a brow, questioning his nervous antics. 

he continued. “bakugou works hard. probably the hardest worker in UA aside from midoriya. and it’s bakugou. he doesn’t really see a point in relationships. you know that.” 

“it’s not like i’m looking for anything with him, though. gosh, kirishima, you’re acting like this is some school girl crush.” 

he tilted his head, giving y/n a look that screamed, are you really sure it’s not though? 

y/n huffed out a breath, crossing their arms. they’d already vomited up their feelings, why all of a sudden call it a crush? sure, it was a tiny crush that was no larger than the brain of a dinosaur. 

“i can swear that it isn’t, kirishima. you’re looking too deep into things,” y/n defended once again. 

the red-head held his hands up in surrender, sucking his lips in to avoid another snarky comment slipping out. 

the two looked up at the towering building that had been home to them for the past three years: Heights Alliance. 

during their second year, the teachers had settled with having the dorms set up in a way that allowed the students’ rooms to be set up in a gender-neutral fashion. they’d been able to select new dorms beside whomever they wished. rooming next to kirishima was a blast, but the only person bakugou wanted to room next to was him. 

mina had moved in next to you, and kaminari to her right, and sero right across from y/n. 

y/n had no issue being squished between a group notorious for their goofiness and ability to never take anything seriously, however (especially on weekends) they were exceptionally loud to the point they were sure China could hear the blaring music. 

friday was finally going to be over in a few hours. y/n felt a giddiness well up inside them, anticipating the weekend. it’d been a rough few days, for everyone, not just them. 

class 1A had been bombarded with assignments and pop quizzes. y/n was lucky they finished it all in class. some of the homework was finished when they’d sacrificed their precious free time to get it done, but in the end, it was worth it all. 

y/n let their bag sag down their arms as they entered Heights Alliance. 

- 

bakugou had just been asked out on a date. for the third time. first time, he’d denied. second time, he had to shove tokage off him. third time, he’d calmly accepted her offer, and she’d skipped away with more than a smile. 

she’d squeezed his bicep, gave him a wink and an unnecessary peck on the cheek that bakugou had wiped off the moment she turned her back. he was now in his bathroom and, despite her not wearing any lipstick, he was scrubbing his cheek raw so that the skin was a blotchy red. 

the date was tonight, and he found himself wanting to go, and questioning why he accepted in the first place. 

bakugou forgot about tokage the second he won that match his first year and tossed her in the cage. he only noticed her when she and her group of friends giggled and passed by. (it was mostly her chortling, but whatever.) 

he continued rubbing his cheek aggressively with a scratchy towel. he was repulsed by how he had stood there without bothering to snap at her to leave him alone for the third time. 

instead, bakugou’s mind had buffered, and if he was in a video game, he had surely glitched. he should probably just tell tokage he didn’t want to go anymore. in fact, he never wanted to go in the first place and wants to jump out his window and escape. 

it was almost comedic. the thought of him going out on a date? goodness, he wanted to throw up. 

as he continued scrubbing the cloth along his cheek, bakugou found himself more than grateful for how much his quirk made him sweat. if it wasn’t for the nitroglycerin-like substance he produced, his skin would be scratched and dried up. 

a knock sounded at his door. silence came, until the knock found its way to his ears. a set of three knocks, then five, then it was a needy banging. 

whoever was on the other side heard his audible groan and shuffling feet dragging across the floor, because they knocked a lot harder. 

he swung the door open, hinges crying out. 

bakugou’s upper lip curled in disgust. tokage twirled her hair around a finger, eyelashes sticking together with mascara. “katsuki,’ she greeted. 

his eyes narrowed on her. “don’t call me that.” 

“what should I be calling you, then? baby? or honey?” 

oh yes, bakugou wanted to vomit. what even was her name again? whatever, it didn’t matter. “lizard teeth, listen. i-” 

“lizard teeth? why would you address me like that?” 

“because i don’t know your damn name, alright? i don’t-” 

“tokage. need me to spell it out for you?” 

“no. shut up. i need to-” 

“you should remember it, because i was one of the few who got in through recommendations, remember?” 

“and yet here you are in class 1B. can you shut the hell up now?” 

“well, you’re just being shitty.” 

“why are you here, tokage.” more of a demand than a question, as bakugou’s questions always came across if he ever bothered to ask them. 

“because, for our date tonight, I need to pick up some things and I really hope you’re up for coming with me.” 

“no.” 

“please?” 

“no. stop pushing. and I don’t want to-” 

“come on, grouchy.” tokage activated her quirk, one scale slipping into his dorm and pushing him towards her. she gripped the collar of his shirt and grinned. “come with me for a short bit, and I’ll count that as our date, m’kay?” 

bakugou opened his mouth once more to protest, but tokage silenced him by pressing one slender finger to his lips. 

“I’m fully aware you don’t want to go on this date with me.” 

he relaxed, shoulders slumping. if bakugou was younger, if he was even just a little bit more stubborn as he had been before, perhaps he’d be out of this mess already, or never in it in the first place. 

tokage let her hand fall back to her side—both of them. the scale returned to her lower calf; the jet-black leggings she wore now had a perfect hole in them.

“do you think i’m dense, bakugou?” 

“then why ask me out?” bakugou felt himself leaning back. 

“because if i can get under the skin of that stupid little...what do you like to call them? stupid little extras? yeah, that stupid extra who can’t stop fluttering googly-eyes at you every minute, then i’ll be perfectly content.” 

“who the hell are you talking about?” 

“alright, so you are oblivious.” tokage took a step back and crossed her arms. “are you both unaware of how you’ve both been pining for each other’s attention? y/n, that classmate of yours.” 

“...y/n?” 

“do you know their name or do i have to describe in excruciating detail what they look like?” 

“no, no i know who you’re talking about. but you’ve got to be shitting me, alright? there’s nothing there.” 

“i’m from 1B, and if there’s something going on in 1A, monoma is going to tell us.” 

“shithead, get out of my face.” 

“you still have to go out with me.” 

“why the f-” 

“because, bakugou. if you don’t, i’ll be sure to make sure y/n knows about your feelings, whether they’re real or not.” 

“why would they care? more importantly, why would you care?” 

- 

y/n kicked their feet up and down, a lollipop in their left hand, phone in their other. kirishima was in his bathroom while y/n was playing a game on their phone. they’d stashed away a bunch of candy back in their dorm and had snatched a handful for the two of them to share while hanging out in kirishima’s. 

he was currently combing a hand through his hair, and then proceeded to rummage through his cabinets. 

kirishima emerged with his lips puckered. “want to come to the  drug mart with me?” he stuck a thumb to his door. 

“what for?” y/n didn’t take a glance away from their phone. 

“this.” he chuckled softly. when y/n looked up, kirishima had two fingers parting his hair. the roots were a jet black, just growing long enough to become the slightest bit visible. 

“you’re going to fry your hair.” they were already shoving their phone away and tossing their sucker into the trash bin. 

“it’s a monthly tradition to do this, y/n. it would be fried by now if i was bad at it,” he joked, tapping his roots once more. 

y/n laughed alongside him as they exited the room. 

-

it was late, and the lights made everything feel like it was set in a world of backrooms. when the rest of the world is sleeping, it is more than quiet, and nothing feels real―possibly in the best ways. 

kirishima scratched at his chin, staring intensely at the hair-dye boxes lined neatly on the shelf before them. 

y/n tapped their foot, not out of impatience, but because of the creep staring at them through the aisle. yes, through. 

between the boxes of hair dye and scattered makeup products, the beady eyes of setsuna tokage could be seen. she smirked when she tugged her hostage closer. 

bakugou’s height had shot up to around six feet in the past two years, so all that was visible was his chest and the black sweatshirt loosely hanging off it, however his grumbling and stream of colorful language was unmistakable. it was him. 

“you okay?” 

y/n’s head snapped to their friend. “what?” 

“you seem on edge. is something wrong?” 

“nothing. nothing is wrong.” 

“you sure? if you need to talk, i’m here.” 

“yeah, yeah, i’m okay. don’t worry.” 

“alright.” kirishima held up a box, wiggling it in one hand. “got it.” he gave y/n a toothy grin. 

“good.” y/n snatched his arm up and dragged him along. 

“woah,” kirishima released a breathy chuckle, tugging his arm back. “what’s got you in a hurry?” 

“nothing,” y/n said, shrugging. “just wanna get home.” 

gosh, kirishima knew them too well. his eyes squinted just a bit, and there was that playful grin lingering on his lips, just ghosting over his face, barely visible to anyone who didn’t know him. instead of pointing out the obvious, which was standing just a few aisles behind, kirishima decided to play around. “goodness, honey, the kids are going to be fine back home.” 

heat raced to y/n’s face. “what?” 

kirishima winked. “it’s nice that you care about them, but care about me a little, would’ya? i miss you, too,” he said a tad louder. 

this caught bakugou’s attention. his eyes clashed with y/n’s, and he didn’t look away until y/n did. even a few seconds after, y/n still felt the blaring heat of his gaze upon them.

kirishima slung an arm around his friend, enjoying their flustered image. of course, he would never even think about pushing boundaries. the thought never crossed his mind, but he knew they’d let him know if they were uncomfortable. 

when y/n looked back as kirishima led them away, bakugou’s jaw was clenched, and his eyes were alight with jealousy. 

of course, y/n didn’t notice the emotion flaring. 

tokage smirked, clutching his loose sleeve. 

y/n looked back to their friend, and kirishima flashed them another knowing smile. bakugou was getting antsy with his best friends’ hands all over y/n. well, not all over, but a tap on the shoulder was enough. 

despite the way kirishima’s face dropped, y/n swiped his arm away and wandered over to tokage a bit more angrily than intended. they glanced up to bakugou, who was reaching up to retrieve something for tokage. 

“what brings you guys here? didn’t expect to see you.” inside, y/n was screaming. gosh, their heart was angry. 

“just running errands together.” 

bakugou? going for errands? with tokage? 

“cool, cool,” y/n said, nodding. “i was doing the same with kirishima.” they paused, awkward silence filling the space. 

impatient as ever, bakugou tossed the item into tokage’s basket and clicked his tongue. 

y/n didn’t know why. why were they being so stubborn? despite their protesting thoughts and their entire body screaming to hold back, y/n wrapped their fingers around bakugou’s wrist. 

“actually, bakugou, i have something to ask you. i need your opinion on it. you’re smart, right?” y/n’s voice lifted at the end. although they couldn’t see the, what the hell are you doing face kirishima was making behind them as subtly as possible, they could definitely feel the glare burning into their back. 

“tch, of course i’m smart, shithead.” 

“good.” 

“we’re actually kind of in a rush,” tokage spat out, snappier than usual. 

“do you think i fight okay? i need someone  with a perspective like yours to know if i do.” 

“what kind of question is that, dumbass? i don’t care if you can fight well or not, just so long as i can beat the shit outta ya.” 

tokage let out a low growl. 

y/n smirked, hand still around bakugou’s wrist. “i’d like to know if i can beat you, then, so you can tell me if i’m good or not.” 

ohgoshohgoshohgosh where was this coming from? 

bakugou squinted. he leaned in closer, like he didn’t hear them. “speak up.” 

y/n knew he heard them correctly, but he got awfully close. 

feeling a little sneaky themselves, y/n ghosted their fingers over his strong jaw, tilting his head closer so they could speak clearly into his ear. “let’s train together,” y/n said, staring tokage dead in the eyes. 

it was a stupid rivalry, really. they’d both been accepted through recommendations. they’d been friends all throughout middle school, and yet when y/n made it into 1A, tokage felt it a necessity to excel at everything and rub it in their face. no way was y/n letting them get away with this. 

“i want to see how strong i am.” y/n let their voice drop just a bit. “you’re strong, right?” 

“are you taunting me?” bakugou said, voice nearly a whisper. he still hadn’t moved from leaning down and hadn’t bothered to move y/n’s fingertips from his jaw. 

“absolutely not.” y/n sent a small grin in the direction of their rival. “let’s just see who can beat who. we’ve never been against one another like this.” 

tokage huffed, tugging bakugou back. his eyes were softened when they met y/n’s, and there was simmering, small grin on his face. 

tokage, however, looked less intrigued. “he’s not your boyfriend.” 

y/n shrugged, already backing away. they spread their arms in a mockery of surrender. “he’s not yours, either.” 

[keeperoftinyarmy]

It's not confirmation for me either but I worry about the need to label something in this fandom. Also platonic love also gets downplayed or brushed aside. Like I hate when say a man or a woman are spotted out and immediately it's assumed they must be dating or interested in each other. Or since JM and JK adore each other it has to be romantic adoration, or RM spending time with a male and putting a heart on his face means he's coming out without coming out. How about we just don't label anybody's relationships. We don't know until they share or spotted doing something that two people who are just friends do. It's not any of our business to label anybody's relationship. One can say it's human nature to be curious and that's fine. What I mean is the comments saying RM is for sure dating or might be dating or Jimin and JK might be dating or x and y are seen hanging out a lot so they might be dating etc etc. Just let the relationship be whatever it is. They know what it is, but we don't need to know nor do we need to define it to fit what we think it is because it's not our place. It's not our place to say "Due to so and so spending a lot of time together or how they speak to each other then I think they're...." Like what gives us the right to do that with strangers? I don't think I'm making a lick of sense but I just find it weird that people can say "They seem close..." and drop any other assumptions about it because we'll never know and it's possible for two people to have a deep love for one another and it just be platonic.

That said, JM and JK's actions have had them do things that just friends don't do lol Still all we can say is they seem close and leave it at that. RM and his companion seem close. Glad he has someone to share his adventures with. RM took a road trip from the west to the east and even I haven't done that and I was born in the States! I hope it was a fun trip and they didn't encounter too many weenies.

You are like me. I try not to assume anything because humans are unpredictable.

As you said JM and JK do many things that SEEM romantic and certainly could be, but I’m not confident in saying that they are romantically involved. Not because I believe it’s impossible but just because I don’t know them well enough to say with certainty.

Same with RM…the photos don’t scream couple to me…a bestie could easily be featured in that way. I’m not dismissing he could be dating this guy, I just don’t know enough to say. I just hope he’s dating or at least sharing his time with someone wonderful…platonically or romantically.

We strangers have no rights. We are just nosey and hopefully happy to see others being in happy friendships/relationships. I haven’t checked but I hope all the comments about RM have been positive, even if presumptive.

[talitharabboni]

I have loved Freakazoid! since it first aired when I was a kid, and as an adult, I have long admired the writers for getting their actors to say very inherently silly words. I recently binged the entire series (in honor of the recent loss of the brilliant David “The Lobe” Warner) and decided to keep a list of them. (This is, by the way, an incredibly subjective list. Except for Huggbees. It’s also not exhaustive. Feel free to comment with your own ideas.)

Silly Things What the Freakazoid! Writers Made Renowned Actors Say

Ed Asner (Cosgrove)

“Pigs are smarter than bears, but they can't ride motorcycles” ("Hot Rods from Heck")

“Get her something a girl would want, like banjo lessons or a new turban” ("In Arms Way")

Poo gas ("Sewer or Later")

Cutie pie / double chubby boy / orange bang / kinda urpy ("The Wrath of Gutierrez")

Fibby boy / whiny boy ("The Freakazoid")

“How 'bout if I pound your head straight down into your tummy?” ("Mission: Freakazoid")

“Your tummy’s going to get all urpy” (“Hero Boy”)

Huggbees! (“A Matter of Love”)

Doody water (“Two Against Freak”)

Ricardo Montalban (Gutierrez)

Fudges / lickety-split / neato / pinto beans and muffins ("The Chip")

Chubby Fudge's / man juices / “Oh Baby!” / weenie ("The Wrath of Gutierrez")

Jocko / poo gas / “Go girlfriend!” / Woohoo! / Gutierrez’s All-Time Favorite Blupors (all of it) (“Hero Boy”)

David Warner (The Lobe)

Troubadour pants ("In Arms Way")

Singing "Bonjour, Lobey” / whee ("Dexter's Date")

Not! / thunder muffins / Happy Clown Breakfast Soup (“Virtual Freak”)

Sweet muffins / Doi! (“The Island of Dr. Mystico”)

Norm! Abram! (“Normadeus”)

Jonathan Harris (Professor Jones)

“Mind your own beeswax” / ninny / Fibber McGee (“Mission: Freakazoid”)

All sorts of sobbing and screaming

Leonard Maltin (himself)

“See if you can’t spot Emmitt Nervend in a walk-on role as a salty dance-hall chanteuse” (“The Island of Dr. Mystico”)

Tim Curry (Dr. Mystico)

Most of his lines, but specifically “Sparkle has to tinky” (”The Island of Dr. Mystico”)

John Rhys Davies (Professor Beasthead)

“I'm sure it's just one of our employees microwaving some popcorn or a duck” / “More jam for the entire regiment” (”The Tomb of Invisibo”)

Bonus:

Every single thing Jack Valenti said

Huggbees!

Just about everything Norm Abram said

[Emmitt Nervend appears: once in this list]

[just-whatever-ig]

A comfortable Clone Commanders pile

Dedicated to: TyraCapulet

I was asked to write clone pile things. And I wrote this.

Rex knocked on the door of Fox's office. He had not been there often in his life, the dry and quiet hallways of the senate made him uneasy, his hands drawn to his hips like magnets.

There was laughter behind the door and a strained sound of someone before the door opened and he got greeted with Ponds’ gruff but giggly face. "Rexyyy", he grinned and slumped against the doorway, his breath carried the distinct smell of strong alcohol. "Are you guys getting dunked in there without me?", Rex raised an eyebrow and pushed past Ponds to find his brothers, Cody, Fox, Thorn and Colt - much to his surprise - huddled together on the floor. Most of them had already disposed of their upper armor.

"Reeeex", Fox called, almost throwing a small bottle at him that definitely contained said strong alcohol. Cody grinned, cheeks pink from drinking while Colt still seemed pretty cooled in his place behind Thorn's back. They all somehow already managed to lay on each other with nobody being the lowest. Impresive with only 4 people.

"Mind if I join?", Rex grinned happily as Ponds already helped him take off his armor. It would only get in the way uncomfortably. "Please", Thorn slurred and grabbed the bottle from Fox's hand to take a swig. He pulled a face and passed it on to Cody who screwed the lid back on. "What's the Rancor Commander doing here?", Rex pushed aside their legs to make space for himself and add himself into the pile.

"You know, vacation is a thing", Colt replied with a self-indulgent smirk. "You lucky fucker", Thorn commented with a snort. Rex snaked himself under Cody's legs with his head on Fox's soft belly - a clear sign for the lack of training his fellow brother got around here, forging the chancellor's signature instead of fighting. "Here, Rex'ika", Fox pushed the bottle into Rex's chest and he took his time to look at the tagless bottle. "What even is that?" - "Some super cheap backyard slobbery, it's awful", Ponds explained and pushed himself up to Cody's flank and probably back into his arms judging by the way Cody awaited him.

"Hey, Thorn", Fox uncoordinatedly slapped his brother in guards against the biceps, "When was this ambassador gathering again?" - "The one with La Pee Tou?" - "Yeah." - "Like... noon-ish?" - "Ah. Alright."

"Don't mind if I ask, who's La Pee Tou?", Rex questioned as he unscrewed the bottle and took a sup without even smelling, there was no use, his receptors had been burned to the ground by the last tear gas ambush on Polonio I. The liquor felt like he was swallowing down a rotgut made with gunship fuel. It burned his throat like fire and caused him to clear his throat a few times.

"Tou is an ambassador from the far outside worlds, even beyond the outer rim. They're interested in trading, or something", Fox explained and passed the bottle on to Colt who took a big swig before Ponds reached for it. "Fifth sector worlds? They do realize we're in war, right?", Cody snickered. "The shab do I know?", Fox threw up his hands and snatched the bottle from Ponds waiting hands to have another swig.

"Hehe", Thorn laughed lightly, "You won't believe what happened the other day." - "What?", Rex accepted the bottle once again. "This man, yeah, this man of a chancellor...", his voice was a mixture of exasperation and amusement. Fox burst out laughing. "Oh, riiight, I totally forgot 'bout that." - "Sometimes I think this man just wants to die. Like that one suicidal senator we had, you remember?" - "Lord Oberon?" - "Yeah. But like three times worse."

"Why? What did he do?", Cody chuckled. "You know, he's the chancellor, which means he gets a lot of death threats, most of them are just harmless little jabs but there was this one message that everyone of us said should be taken seriously because we don't want to take any chances. We tell him that, say that he should stay in his damn penthouse until we have clearance and all." Fox's laugh had almost become hysterical at that point, his stomach pushing up against Rex's head like a jackhammer. "What does this bloody idiot do - I'm still not over this stupidity", Thorn rubbed his face, "He legitimately dresses up as one of his body guards and sneaks out of the senate like a stupid little bitch." - "I love how he literally thought we wouldn't notice", Fox laughed, "Like, homie, what did you expect? Your bodyguards are like 5 miles taller than us. Don't you think we notice when they magically shrink?!"

"Did you call him out?", Colt asked. "Nah", Thorn snickered, "We want him to believe that we didn't notice." - "I want to know how often he's going to pull that off", Fox added, smirking into the neck of the bottle.

"Quick check-in, who's still bound to show up?" - "Nobody", Colt waved off, "You were the last." - "Oh yeah? Where's Wolffe and Bly? I mean, I know that Bacara's on Tamba IX." - "Bly is somewhere shagging his girlfriend." - "What?", Rex snorted, and made himself comfortable against the side of Fox's chest. "He'd protest loudly", Cody threw in, "But it's impossible there's not something between them. I mean, just look at her clothes." - "Yeah, she basically asks to be shagged, right?", Ponds added. "Are we speaking about General Secura?" - "Who else?", Cody grinned.

"Well, Commander Tano uses to wear rather.... liberal clothes as well, but we still get along on a very professional base", Rex argued. "Yeah, because she's like 3 standard years old", Ponds rolled his eyes. "She's actually older than us", Cody corrected neutrally. "What?!", was Fox's reply. "Yeah, but I'm still concerned for her most of the times. General Skywalker is so chaotic at times and she's such a teeny weeny little thing, I’m afraid she might get caught in the crossfire at some point", Rex sighed, "You know, she's my superior and older and everything but I just feel.... responsible."

"I totally get what you mean", Cody threw him a brotherly but slightly too strong punch, "Do you remember that few months when you still served under my command and Skywalker was still a commander himself?" Rex laughed. Yes. He did remember that time vividly with all it's craziness. "That must have been the worst time of your lives", Ponds commented. "You bet!", Rex spat out.

Thorn and Colt chuckled. "At least you work together with people who got a clue of what the shab is going on", now it was Colt's turn to throw up his hands in disbelief. "You won't believe what strange excuses some rookies come up with just to not be bound to do anything", he laughed lightly, "I once had a squad who all broke a bone on purpose to avoid being shipped out. You should have heard their stories, one of them said he fell from his cot. And another one 'slipped in the shower'." - "Oh, so they were lying?", Thorn asked. "Well.... one wasn't. One of them stumbled over some stairs and totally wrecked his kneecaps." That drew a round of laughter from the pile.

"Folks, guys, brothers, I have a good story as well", Cody flailed with his arm to get the next turn to speak. "Are you going to complain about General Kenobi again?", Rex predicted with an eyeroll. This was getting out of hand, Cody didn't even realize how lucky he was with the reserved and calm thinking Jedi Council member and not with an airhead called General Skywalker. "How do you even expect him to talk about anyone else?", Fox mumbled around the rim of the rotgut. "Force, you're so right. Cody, your Kenobi-stress-headaches have been replaced with an obsession. This is an unhealthy turn of events", Ponds teased, earning himself a slap against the chest.

"Alright", Colt rolled his eyes, "Tell us, then." Cody opened his mouth to speak but had to take his time to giggle first which immediately infected the whole group. Cody's laugh was rare. But ever the funniest, with a little snort in the beginning and the waving snickering in the end. "It was-", he had to pause again, "I'm wheezing, guys." - "Believe it or not, we noticed", Thorn commented dryly which set Fox off like a rocket for no reason whatsoever. "Impressive story, really", Colt took over from there and Rex had to shift his head because the constant thrashes of Fox's stomach were getting uncomfortable in his neck. "I really liked that middle part", Thorn continued, Fox was officially lost now. "Yeah, never have we heard of such stupidity before", Colt agreed and took another big mouthful.

"You didn't even hear the story yet", Cody whined between sobs and Ponds patted him on the head: "It's alright, Cod'ika, we don't have to if you're not ready yet." Fox let out a pitched, strangled scream and threw his arm over his eyes, his laughing already sounded more like crying in the moment. "Folks, guys, brothers", Rex called, laughing, "Have mercy, he's gonna choke." Fox made a night vision goggles sound before laughing his ass off again. "I think we broke him", Thorn said and received an approving clap on the chest from Colt.

Rex was beginning to feel warm in his skin. The alcohol was taking effect on him now as well but the happiness within the circle of his batchmates was definitely playing a factor in this. He felt like he never wanted to get up again, hearing Fox enjoy himself so much he'd choke on his own spit or Cody now quietly complaining to Ponds about whatever breakneck stunt General Kenobi had pulled off this time or Thorn audibly approving of the way Colt began to card through his thick, paling hair. Rex was happy here surrounded by his brothers in arms. He would never want to trade them for anyone else, not even Torrent Co, and those were a funny and chaotic little pile of ants. He smiled and closed his eyes then pressed his cheek against Fox's warm thigh. This was where he wanted to be right now and nowhere else.

"Rex's enjoying himseeelf", Thorn called out and now suddenly the attention was on Rex. He grinned at them a little sheepishly and tried to hide his blush in Fox's blacks. "Aww, what're ya thinking 'bout, vod'ika?", Colt asked and now even Cody and Ponds rose their heads to look at them. "Ah, nothing", he grinned behind flushed cheeks, "I was just thinking how lucky I am to still have you guys." That erupted a wave of hums and awws from his friends and Fox immediately opened his arms wide. "C'mere lil bro", he slurred and what else could Rex do but comply? He shuffled closer and placed his head on Fox's chest only to get swallowed up by comfortable arms.

He felt the pile tighten around him as the others tried to participate a little in the hug. Rex smiled into Fox's chest and closed his eyes again. "I love you idiots. From deep within my heart", he confessed. "You say that to every batch you've ever been in?", Colt joked and earned himself a slap from Thorn. "Stop killing the fucking mood, Colt", Cody complained. There was a hand between Rex's shoulders that started dragging their nails over his back, which caused comfy goosebumps to trail down his spine. He reached out with his own arm to follow the trail of the comfort bringer to find it was leading back to Thorn. He scratched lightly over his brother's shoulder before resting his hand there which soon was accompanied by Colt's much warmer hand.

A comfortable silence fell around them all and when Rex paid much attention to it he could hear the quiet scritching of Colt's nails on Thorn's scalp or the rub of a hand over blacks. Soon those sounds were drowned out, though, by Fox taking out his feels on Rex's buzzcut.

The even movement of blunt nails on his scalp and the slight fondle on his neck and the regular rise and fall of Fox's ribcage rocked Rex's dreamboat. What if, he thought, it could always be like this? To come home after a long, day of hard work and just lay down and be peaceful with each other. Oh, what wouldn't he give for that?

"I love you, too, brothers", Thorn mumbled after a while. "Mhm", Cody hummed approvingly followed suit by the sound of a kiss. Rex opened his eyes again to see who it had been but they were all laying there comfortably with their eyes closed and arms and legs wrapped around each other. A peaceful picture, laughing into the face of the war. Children, as they were. And he was part of this beautiful, comfortable home.

[keepcalm-and-beyou]

Serial Killer Boyfriend

YoungFP x Reader

Werewolves howl, Phantoms prowl, where witches go riding and black cats are seen, the moon full and bright whispers tis Halloween. 

It feels like magic in the night when you see the pumpkins light. Time for the ghouls and ghost to seek goodies, for people hoping for treats not tricks. 

Halloween time in our town with pep. Everyone from school invited and some not invited to this years Spooktacular Party surely must be getting ready as i am. 

🎃Now I have a story that I'd like to tell About this guy you all know him, he had me scared as hell! He comes to me at night after I crawl into bed He's burnt up like a weenie and his name is Fred!🎃  

As A nightmare on my street song plays on my radio I apply my lipstick and smile when the song mentions the name Fred as it makes me think of my friend Fred Andrews, i also cant help but love the nightmare on elm street movie. Freddy Kruger what an intense killer to get you in your precious dreams i hope they make more movies like that. A noise interrupted my thoughts slightly making me jump. heading towards where it had come from i look out my window to the left then right side seeing some children running around on my street dressed up in their costumes trick or treating, the street lights shinned on my street sign that read ELM STREET. 

Thinking the noise must of been from those who are outside simply wanting candy i turn away from the half way open window i scream as i felt something grab my arm from where the window was i turn fast to face it seeing my boyfriend trying to climb through the window. I let a relived sigh leave my lips and step back in no mood to help him through my window but to watch his struggle he sure deserves it after that stunt. 

“Thank for the help babe” FP says sarcastically while finally getting him self through my window his eyes not yet even looking really at me until he stands up straight turning to fully face where i was standing by my bedroom wall. 

FP’s eyebrows raised in what looked like surprise “Wow babe, damn you look good not like that’s anything new” 

“Well i tried thank you, uh what are you suppose to be, some poor victim of a serial killer stabbing, some messed up boy with mommy issues and a daddy who just doesn't seem to love him the same these days who has a issue filled girlfriend that seems so awkward all the time who probably kills his own girlfriend because ya know always some bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend, he must of watched way to many movies” I ask him as he slowly creeps closer to where i have been standing. This is when i notice the knife in his hand. It sure don’t look like the typical cheap fake ones used for such things as Halloween costumes. That makes me raise an eyebrow at the sharp metal in his hand. Fps eyes caught my reaction to his choice in accessory for his costume and he smirks getting closer to me. 

“Nah babe this blood is of my victims” he smirks wider as his eyes seem to burn into mine “I’m the killer” he adds while he brings his knife up to his bottom lip resting it there. 

“Shit does that mean i’m the girlfriend you want to kill for some bullshit reason” i fake seriousness.

“Hmm I think ill keep you around you look to good to ruin that tight outfit” he smirks checking me out. 

“Thanks. Oh and next time use the front door you ass”

“Did i give you a fright” FP stalks even closer to just inches apart. Like he is  stalking his prey. I deny that he frightened me and i lightly push him backwards from my bubble of space done with his creepy killer vibes in my bedroom and wanting to get my party on. 

Walking out my front door like a normal none creepy person uses i turn to FP “Your not really gonna walk around with that legit knife are you, because that seems like big ole trouble to me” 

“You have no idea” FP says quietly but loud enough to hear him. I watch as he passes by me down my steps and put the knife into a holster on his jeans.

“Wait what?” I ask confused on his statement. only for him to act as if he never heard me. 

I spot a boy who looks like our friend a small ways down coming from his front lawn as we approach and it is indeed my best guy friend! 

“Oh my gosh Fred i love it i absolutely approve of this years choice in costume” I say excitedly going to hug him not caring for his eyes to slightly open wider at my revealing chest area. 

“You look.. uh wow yeah wow a good wow very good wow” Fred rambled 

“Watch it Fred” FP warned in what seemed to be a half joke half serious threat as he slaps Fred’s check lightly and they do a quick bro hug. 

“Awe my guys, my killer boyfriend and killer best friend, my Freddy as Freddy i love it, glad you didn’t go with a mask of Freddy Kruger though i prefer your pretty face” I smack Fred on the same cheek FP had done. 

“I knew you would” Fred smiles. 

“Okay i could use a drink and Hiram douche as rich as he is must have plenty at his party so hurry up move it along” FP says nodding his head ahead of us indicating for us to start walking that way. 

Hiram Lodge, rich and rude mostly describes him. someone who many of us don’t particularly like. Fred dislikes him for many reasons one being Hermione Gomez the girl Fred was into and thought she could be the one. Until she chose Hiram and his pearls over Fred and his heart. FP dislikes him for many of the same reasons Fred does but one being Me the ex girlfriend of Hiram, I thought he could be the one until our once fun filled relationship turned into a cold one into a distant one into me choosing FP over Hiram. But hey a party with free booze is our kind of party and we got the invite well me and Fred did anyways. 

Walking through the streets of Riverdale seeing all the Halloween decorations like the lights from jack-o lanterns and ghosts hanging from trees, feeling the chilling vibes of the magic that is Halloween night run through my body, the feel of a cold hand in mine making me smile at my serial killer looking boyfriend. 

I watch as few children pass us by seeing the looks shared by Fred and FP raising my eyebrow at what they could be thinking then suddenly the two teenagers yell and jump forward towards the little kids scaring them making the children scream and run off. Rolling my eyes at the two men in front of me laughing like hyenas. 

“Real mature boys” I say unimpressed at the child like behaviour 

“Its Halloween y/n lighten up” Fred laughs 

“Yeah babe its meant to be scary” FP adds

“True but no need to terrorise little kids” I shake my head at them. And continue our walk.

Nearing the house holding the Halloween party hosted by Hiram i notice some familiar faces as much as i can being with all the Halloween costumes. my eyes came upon sierra dressed as wonder woman, a perfect costume for her and her girl power woman on a mission thing she has going on. a short distance a way as well seeing tom Keller in a army costume, another typically perfect costume for the boy.

The outside of the house isn't much decorated i try to push through some of my fellow classmates with FP and Fred hot on my tail walking through the front doors. I’m impressed by what my eyes are seeing the many outstanding lights making the house look like a nightclub ready for teenagers to dance the night away, i see Halloween theme streamers and garland, hanging bats all over the roof of the house, your typical mini orange pumpkins and some painted black placed on tables, and my favourite of all the creepy images on the walls that change. 

“Boy Hiram of course with all the crap” FP looks around at all the decorations as i was. “Think he’s compensating for something Fred” FP chuckles looking to Fred who’s standing next to him. Fred laughs at his best friends remark. 

“No comment” I smirk barley looking towards FP to see his glare thrown my way. 

“Speak of the devil” Fred nods his head to where Hiram is walking towards us. Hiram lodge strolls head high nearing us wearing a medieval king costume, it makes me want to laugh at another super typical costume for the boy who think’s he is a real king, only kind of royal he happens to be is a royal pain in the ass. 

“Well well well a sight for sore eyes, in all her black beauty” Hiram steps closely in front of me with that stupid smirk and ignorant eyes. I simply fake a big smile as my only response. 

“Fred” Hiram greets in a major Hiram way that doesn't sound very greeting like. so Fred does the same. My eyes moves back and fourth between the two and landing on Hiram as his eyes land on my exposed chest thanks to my Elvira costume. This doesn't go unnoticed by my serial killer boyfriend who steps in front of me chest puffed out and eyes murdering the rich man who only smirks more at the exchange. 

“Ah FP Jones i do believe you were not sent an invite but by all means enjoy my humble adobe, oh but please don’t let your serpent behaviour disturb my gathering” 

“Hiram” is heard from behind him of course coming from Hermione. I roll my eyes at her presence dressed as a medieval queen. “Hello glad you guys can attend” she says playing the dutiful girlfriend.

“Mhm thanks” I say in the most super fake tone i can muster up and a smile to go with it as i move past them farther into the home of the devil incarnate. 

Pouring my self a much needed beverage as FP pushes some guy lightly out of his way to reach a bottle of whiskey taken the whole thing for him self.

“Are you really just gonna take the whole thing?” i chuckle

“What like he cant afford to lose out on one damn bottle y/n” 

“Okay then” i let out a small sigh hoping FP doesn't get to hammered. 

“Hey it saves me from having to stab someone to move out my way for a drink” FP pulls out his knife he had in his holster waving it around near our faces with a wide smile. I’m not sure if its because it Halloween that this whole dressed in blood serial killer thing is legit creepy, but hey its pretend right. 

“Stop waving that thing in my face before you make me lose an eye you psycho” I tell him half jokingly. he just stares at me for a moment like contemplating on something, maybe something i said. But finally after making a clicking noise with his tongue he puts the knife back into his holster. 

“Good boy” I teasingly say to him as i grab his chin giving him a kiss to his cheek. 

Hand in hand we walk around for a bit saying a few hellos to some friends of mine as FP stays silent drinking from his bottle and eyeing a few people dangerously creepy. We enter the dining room seeing people including Fred playing beer pong. 

“Y/n come be on my team I’m kicking Tom’s ass” Fred shouts to where i stand with FP by the entrance. FP looks annoyed at the thought but i don’t care he can brood and mood alone for 5 minutes well i kick some major Keller toosh. 

“Oh Keller boy its on” i challenge as Fred cheers at my comment. 

I stand tall and elegantly yet cockily toss the ping pong ball, it lands perfectly into a cup filled half way with beer in front of Tom. Tom of course drinks it. Fred and I throw a few more times ultimately winning which causes us much joy giving us the need to jump around cheering for our self’s along with others in the room, i jump into Fred’s arms smiling at our victory he spins me around laughing. 

“That was awesome y/n” Fred smiles as he put me down. 

“Tha-” I’m cut off by the dark voice of FP

“I thought i said watch it” he remarks dryly to Fred as Fred gives him an unsure look. 

“Wow okay babe laying on the crazy tonight real hard don’t you think” I tell FP furrowing my eyebrows at the bloody boy. FP scoffs and Fred backs away slowly to leave me to deal with my crazy boo. 

FP moves close to my ear and says “Nah what would be crazy is if someone losses a hand because they can’t keep them off you” and he tilts his head in that weird way like a challenging way. Then all of a sudden he’s laughing. I can’t help my face reacting as if he has gone mad. 

“Let’s keep checking out the place babe” FP says in his normal tone as if he wasn't just a crazy jealous boyfriend. And put’s his arm around my shoulders. 

We came across a room that seems like a second living room it looks like the teenagers in it are playing a game as they all sit in whats suppose to be a circle. 

“Oh look its Y/n, care to indulge us in a game of secrets and sins” Penelope’s voice rang out. she use to be a decent human being but it seems her adopted family the blossoms have really done a number on her after she accepted to be with Clifford her adopted brother. honestly I’m unsure if its even legal. 

“I don’t know about that one” I shrug not really in the mood to share a secret of any sorts. 

“Are you scared to tell us something” Clifford chimes in as he is sitting next to the red headed sister girlfriend of his. 

“Let’s go babe” FP grumbles in my ear. But i shake my head at his words. 

“No no i’ll stay” I smile and take a seat on one of the few couches in the room that have space. FP stay’s standing by the door.

“Well that makes it your turn y/n, any sinful secrets you might wanna share” Penelope asks with a wicked smirk plastered on her face as if she already knows any secrets i may have. 

“Hmm i cheated on a math test once, no that’s a lame one, uh i keyed Hiram’s car after we broke up” that last so called secret made FP chuckle. but Penelope rolled her eyes not amused by my choices of secrets. 

“I have a obsession with the movie the heather's i do as well imagine poisoning my classmates, I’m sure you’ll be able to relate” i tell Penelope with a small smile. She lets out a huff still not amused.  

“So that’s your big secrets? Really. I think not Elm Street girl” she says smiling at me. Causing me to raise my eyebrow. And she continues on. 

“You know who else lives on Elm Street, Fred Andrews right? Your friend, your boyfriends friend” she drags on

“So do you have a point or are you just obtuse” I laugh in my head at my own joke sense obtuse is opposite of something pointy. 

“Funny. You like to do a lot with that mouth of yours, like talk when know one cares to listen or make out with Fred Andrews when you think know ones looking” she smiles deviously as my eyes widen in shock. 

“What?!” is heard from the door FP in fit of rage.  

“Wait let me explain” I say to FP but he doesn't hear it he’s to busy pushing his way out of the bedroom door so i follow him. 

“FP can you slow down what are you doing let me explain” I yell for him to hear me but all i see is him on a hunt. oh no probably for Fred. Poor Fred. 

Fp reaches Fred who is in the big living room area where the drinks are and teenager’s dancing. FP grab’s Fred by his shirt throwing him into a wall swiftly reaching for his knife 

‘FP no” i shout as i near the two boys. 

“What the hell FP” Fred asks his best friend. 

“I outta kill you boy” FP barks in Fred face now holding his knife to his throat. 

“FP stop please its not what you think i swear” I plead with my now looking like a real serial killer boyfriend. 

“Y/n whats going on? Why do you have a knife? wait is that a real knife FP?!” Fred asks a bunch of questions in his nervous and scared state. We all barley notice the music had turned down a bit and people were gasping and whispering amongst them self's. 

“You touched my girl!” FP says lowly very low dangerously low. 

Fred looks beyond shocked at the news his best friend knew. He was speechless. 

“FP please let’s talk outside or in a quite room” i beg of him. 

“Screw this” FP says angrily and grab’s Fred again by the shirt only to throw him into the wall once more before backing away. “You better watch out boy” FP threatens Fred. FP disappear’s into the house and I tend to Fred. 

“Oh my gosh are you okay i cant believe he just went that psycho” I held onto Fred’s head looking over his neck and face for any injuries. Seeing a small cut from the knife on is neck, making me cringe at the fact my boyfriend did that. 

“I’m okay y/n how did he find out?” Fred asks looking guilty 

“Secrets and sins and one red headed bitch of a blossom” I remark coldly.

“I’m going to find the bathroom see if i need anything for my neck” Fred tells me as he starts to move towards the door way. 

I should look for FP to tell him the truth the whole truth to that secret. The fact that it was before i chose to be with FP, it was a drunk bad judgement call right after my break up with Hiram. 

Its been some time looking for FP i think its safe to say he left the party. Maybe that’s a good thing give him some space to calm down and when he wants to talk i’ll gladly talk to him. I haven't seen Fred in awhile either, if he ditched me i’m going to kill that athletic guitar playing boy. No sign of my best friend and the party has majorly died down with only a few students i barley know from school and the few i do know decently well like Sierra, Tom, Penelope and Clifford, Marty Mantle and Darryl Doiley and of course the host him self and his little girlfriend Heromine. 

I look around some more for Fred so we can leave, i check anywhere i can including upstairs. I come across a room at the very end of the hall and open the door slowly “Hello anyone in here?” I ask not wanting to intrude on anyone's personal business. There’s no answer. I cant make much of what’s in the room it’s very dark until i find the nearest light switch flicking it on my eyes instantly see a body on the ground. 

“Oh my god Fred?!” I move fast towards the body now seeing the crimson colour seeping through his shirt as if he has been stabbed. I couldn't control it my mouth had i mind of its own as it let out a screeching sound of horror at the sight of my best friend bleeding not a single movement made on the floor. 

I stood in shock for a moment after my scream rang through the walls catching the attention of a few of my fellow classmates as they run into the room. 

I hear gasps and what happened and omgs come from a few mouths as i stare eyes wide open at Fred on the ground. I see Tom get closer to Fred’s body when i snap out of my trance of horror. 

“Wait don’t touch his body!” i spit out before anyone can lay a finger on the boy. 

Everyone looks at me as i’m insane. 

“Finger prints and moving a body is like what tampering with a crime scene and if you have your finger prints on him guess who’s a suspect of murder” I tell everyone sternly. 

“We need to see if he is breathing!” Tom says freaked out. 

I move closer to Fred’s unconscious body not enough to touch and tell everyone to shut the hell up so i can listen for his breathing, I hear nothing. I then put my hand in front of his nose and mouth to see if i can feel air coming from his bloody body, I can not. 

“He’s not breathing guys.. he’s dead” i cry out covering my mouth in more shock. I hear little cries from the girls Heromine and Sierra. 

“This can’t be happening my parents will kill me if i through a party and there happens to be a dead body laying around” Hiram sighs

“My dad is probably gonna kick my ass” I hear Marty say in a fearful tone.

“We need to call the cop’s” Tom says

“I don’t know about that” Clifford chimes in. 

“What are you talking about that’s what your suppose to do, unless you killed him?” Tom shouts back at Clifford. as Clifford scoffs

“This could ruin our life’s what colleges are wanting to accept people involved in a murder” Penelope say’s. 

“Was that a confession?” Darryl Doiley ask’s The red head rolls her eye’s

“Who would do this” I let tear slip from my eyes. 

Everyone looks around at one another eyes scanning each other with possible thoughts that one of us killed Fred Andrews. 

“Hiram. I bet it was Hiram” Penelope says smugly as always these days. 

“And why would I do that?” Hiram asks in almost to good to be true calm manner. Everyone turns their heads to Penelope so she can further explain her accusations.

“Oh please you never did like the boy so much you even stole his girlfriend” she replies nodding towards Hermione who still have many tears on her face. 

“Please you strike me for the killing type both you Blossom’s and your weird family” Hiram spits back to the red headed girl. 

“This is so not cool guys we need to do something” Sierra says. 

“Yeah like the cops’” Tom says again 

“No, no cop’s, not until we figure who might have done it” Hiram speaks.

“We can all point fingers at each other but nothing proves either of us did it” I tell them hoping their madness would stop i haven't even had time to really wrap my head around the dead body of my best friend. 

“What about FP” Darryl Doiley speaks up from the corner of the room he’s been hiding in sense he came in after my scream. Everyone turns to look at the Doiley boy at the same time with looks that say what about him. 

“He had a knife right he held it to Fred’s throat and went all psycho doesn't that prove anything” Darryl continued 

“This is true, FP did have a weapon and is well crazy” Hiram says as a matter of fact. I roll my eyes at him. 

“No way he wouldn't .. I don’t think he would, oh my no no he couldn't” i say unsure in my own words that my boyfriend and Fred’s best friend would commit such a crime. 

“I don’t know the look in his eyes sure showed insanity” Penelope spoke

“Y/n it might be true look at the facts he was mad at Fred, he held Fred at knife point, and threatened him. It doesn’t look good for FP” Tom states

“What doesn't look good for me” FP appears in the door way of the room giving us all a fright many of us jumping at his voice. Some of our eyes wide in fear to see him in front of us hearing us talk about him. The girls Heromine, Sierra and Penelope move further away from him as they practically huddle together, Darryl and Marty look terrified, while Hiram and Tom have no expressions on their faces, then there’s me standing in the middle of everyone beside Fred’s body not knowing what to say and trying hard to keep my face a normal looking way. 

“Say hey what happened here” FP says what almost seems like a question but more of a taunt, he takes a step inside the room with his head tiled in that creepy way he does.

“Get away from us you murderer” Penelope shouts at him. 

“Hmm that’s not very nice” FP smirks deviously at her as he pulls out his knife pointing it at her “You are not very nice” he tell’s her. He looks at everyone in the room ‘In fact none of you really are. Not to me that’s for damn sure” he clicks his tongue. 

“Hey man we no what you did and its cool we wont say anything to anyone” Marty tells FP in hopes to get out of a killer situation. FP just laughs at the boys attempts. 

“FP tell them you didn't hurt Fred i know you didn't right?” i ask my own hopes rising

“We know you killed him FP” Hiram says to him

“How do we know your not the killer? huh? you like scary movies maybe your movie freak mind lost its reality button ever think of that” FP says challenging Hiram's words. Hiram scoffs. 

“Okay well if FP didn't do it and none of us did lets just call the cops” Tom says starting to walk towards the door when FP’s knife ends up nearing his face

“Na na na Keller get back” FP demands so Tom goes back to his spot by Fred’s body and near me. I look to Fred’s dead body and to FP, feeling a wave of sadness wash over me finally seeing it feeling it , that FP killed him. My eyes water as i take small slow step to FP who bares his knife still in front of him. 

“Why FP.. please tell me why” I cry slowly moving toward my killer boyfriend. 

“Why y/n! why!” he shouts manically making me jump. He turns to face the door he had just shut then back to me. 

Suddenly FP steps to me grabbing me by my throat facing me to everyone has his grip is tight on my neck keeping me in place close to him. 

“Listen FP” Sierra says trying to defuse the ticking bomb 

“No you listen you little bitch! Anyone moves and ill be happy to see what your insides look like. Takes the strength of a man to gut someone ya know” FP barks

“You all and your privileged life’s, you northsiders think your so better then everyone else!” FP shouts and his grip gets even tighter on my throat making me whimper. “Not anymore” FP drags his knife on my face as he speaks but not hard enough to cut into my skin. 

“We are sorry i’m sorry we all are sorry!” Sierra shouts

“You don’t have to do this FP let y/n go” Tom says calmly reaching his hand out

“Let her go FP” Hiram says more demanding

“Please FP you don’t have to hurt anyone” Heromine chimes in

“Oh my ” Penelope mumbles 

“Dude come on please” Darryl cries out 

“We’re sorry dude” Marty says but not enough meaning to believe it.

“If any of us made you feel less then us we are sorry if any of us picked on you we are sorry or if we made fun of you FP” Sierra speaks again apologising for everyone. And everyone’s voice rings out say yes and yeah’s agreeing to what she had said in fear for their life’s. 

“Nah” FP says then quickly spins me to face him and send’s his knife into my stomach instantly my hands go to the wound i feel the wet substance and my knees hit the floor as horror painful sounds escape my lips everyone runs to me as i turn around best i can hands red and dripping, the girls faces wet with tears the guys faces filled with horror i take one last look at my stomach hand covering it again.

“Gotcha” my head snaps up to everyone as i smile wide

“Really I’m dead no one calls the cop’s ” Fred says from the floor with his face looking towards us all. 

“What?!” everyone shouts with wide eyes and still horrified yet shocked faces all around. 

“Good job FP” Fred smiles getting up from the floor. “Man that’s tough playing dead for that long so glad no one saw me breathing when i needed to” 

“You did great man” FP smiles 

“But the blood” Hermione asks

“Corn syrup” I reply with a smile

“You are all seriously insane” Sierra says 

“That was not funny” Hiram adds sternly 

“Holy heck thank god” Tom sighs of relief 

“I can’t believe you guys” Heromine says shaking her head in dismay.

“Not cool” Marty adds 

“You had us all going” Penelope says in boredom

“Yeah” Clifford adds not making eye contact with anyone probably embarrassed that he got fooled. 

“Well can’t say you guys didn’t deserve it” FP smiles a normal smile not a creepy one at last. 

“Happy Halloween guys” Fred smiles 

“I got me one hot serial killer boyfriend” I put my arm around FP’s waist as his arm goes around my shoulder. 

“Happy Halloween” FP and i say at the same time to everyone. 

[astrovian]

the official ranking of Claude Becker outfits

the official ranking of Daniel Miller outfits here

the official ranking of Adam Price outfits here

all Claude Becker outfits & rankings under the cut

we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah

after two of these rankings, this outfit is the physical embodiment of a yawn

I do appreciate the patterned tie to change things up a tad even if I’m not into the pattern itself. the intent is there, just not the execution

I will give props to the team for giving Claude a patterned dress shirt here (you have to squint a bit on the second image - more on patterned dress shirts later), but they really should have upped the game a little - change the tie & be less subtle with the shirt pattern

and I ask you, does Claude Becker not strike you as a man who would insist on at least a pocket square with his suits?? dream bigger stylists

3/10

@whoever stores old movie props if these weren’t disposed of immediately after filming i will pay you for a copy of one of these

putting aside the hilarious social commentary and fucking literal writing on this magazine cover done by some poor prop designer at 2am (”How to starve artists and other capitalist things”, as well as ”Claude Becker rolls up his shirtsleeves and unties his tie and puts on a vest and casually hangs his hands from his pockets” etc.), this is a nice change-up that made me question why we don’t have RA in just a waistcoat and dress shirt more often

also that tie pattern? fab. I love it. that is how to do a patterned tie. I hope we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah is paying attention

that being said, minimal points because we don’t actually see Claude wearing it in real life

4/10

where, oh where is my polo shirt? oh look, it’s right there

is there any RA character who is not afflicted with a polo shirt? not recently, apparently

I genuinely thought that it was a dress shirt for a moment which had me disappointed at the banality but then that turned into utter devastation as I realised we actually are looking at a long sleeve zip up polo shirt

the draping of the coat? phenomenal and what really brings this entire thing together

the long/three-quarter sleeves? the zip-up rather than buttons? better than one can normally expect from a polo shirt... and then they went and added stripes to the collar and sleeves?? regret

could be a lot worse but could ultimately also not be a polo shirt as well 4.5/10

could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class

I’m sure you all know my long-sleeve shirt obsession with RA but I made a promise to be honest with myself on these lists. the only feeling this outfit evokes is a ‘eh’

the equivalent of a middle slider 5/10

the Claude you’d actually have a fun day with

there’s something about RA in a hoody that just bangs. good lord I also have a weakness for those forearms

I also thought for a good moment these were dark jeans, but they disappointingly turn out to be sweatpants? however, it has made me think that we need to see RA in some darker denim shades more often 

this Claude is could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class but with just a little more fun and class to boost it *just* outside of the ‘eh’ zone

5.2/10

now this is how we do a long-sleeved shirt

I think it’s been fairly well-established by now that loose, long-sleeved RA is my ultimate weakness, so it’s nice to see that Ocean’s 8 is also making a concerted effort to murder me

also Claude’s obsession with sweatpants is giving me life

this is the Claude you make pasta with. and that pasta would be damn tasty, too

5.9/10

come hither

just-woken-up Claude is made 100x better by the bed head hair and the sleepy gaze

this man needs to get back into bed for a snuggle (preferably with me)

I can’t decide if I’m into the loose boxers or missing the tighter Adam Price undies. either way, it’s definitely not a bad aesthetic. and it reminds me, like dad chic Adam Price, that we don’t get enough of RA in shorts

I feel bad assigning numbers to a a shirtless one BUT Claude does transform into being fully-clothed in this scene so I’m going with it 6.4/10

you can kiss my hand anytime

the blessing of this film is not only the visual assault of attractive actors from all sides and genders, but it also instigates in me the thought that RA is wearing printed dress shirts and I can’t remember the last time I saw this?? I never even realised how much I need to see a lot more of this kind of look on RA until we were blessed with this vision

look at those lil’ elephants!! adorable. I hope Claude has a closet full of these with different animals on them

this outfit was so good, RA even wore it in his behind-the-scenes interview

7/10 for a printed, suited dream

the Claude you take home to mom & dad

god, it’s even better without the suit jacket

this is my honest appeal to the powers that may or may not be to put RA in more printed dress shirts

7.6/10

sometimes I think I should be more ashamed of myself

I feel like I need to preface this one thusly: okay, but like hear me out for real this time

I know this is ultimate hipster white-dude look and RA plays into that character so fantastically with Claude here. I mean just look at his expression. something about this whole look makes me want to simultaneously punch this man in the face and also take him home with me

this is a man who you know is a mistake before you make it, but choose to follow through anyway. he’s that last shot of tequila or the 5th glass of wine. you know you would go for him too. don’t even try to deny it

is the high ranking because of the novelty factor? is it because I’ve never seen RA wear a beanie like that and honestly the infamous running Daniel Miller could take notes? is it because I can’t take anyone who wears a beanie like that seriously?

all we do know is that I also can’t believe this is so high on the list

7.8/10

the moment we all learned Claude is 100% a bottom

one of the most iconic Claude moments in the film. RA plays the ‘dumb horny idiot’ character so well in this scene

not so into the pinstriped suit jacket but the hoodie peeking out from underneath combined with the thin scarf makes it for me

8/10

question: how may teeny-weeny scarves does Claude own, exactly?

who could forget the iconic moment when Sandra Bullock nearly shivs RA?

we have another printed dress shirt and I am HERE for it. it even has birds this time!! nice to see that Claude is not just a land mammal sort of man

I will concede that this is the sort of pattern that few men can pull off but RA is making it work and I am living

8.7/10

I’m not sure I can make a comment on this one that is even remotely appropriate except for “I told you Claude is a bottom”

safety first, buy some proper restraints for the bedroom please Claude/10

 modern royalty au Thorin

this is the moment that every single Hobbit fan went “hell yeah, now I have the perfect new aesthetic for my modern royalty Hobbit AU” (as an avid lotr/hobbit fan, I am not joking here)

RA looks like royalty here because he should be. please sign my petition to have RA usurp the British Queen

for real though, that baby blue sash is the 1000% perfect added touch to this suit and we love RA in a baby blue. a decent (and clearly successful) effort to match the faux Met Gala theme: European royalty. however, it is also pretty accurate re: the imaginative effort that most men have with altering their Met Gala outfits to fit that year’s theme

we need more RA in ‘modern royal’ roles for the #aesthetic and also so that he can dress like this more often

9.3/10 for a princely (or dare I say kingly?) figure

James Corden looks so gleeful running after Claude that it makes me happy. I get it, James. I get it

there’s really nothing spectacular about the general outfit here - except for the swagger RA is giving this

pants? shirt? boring, meh

check scarf? a brilliant switch up from Claude’s normal thin scarves. 

the popped coat? now we’re cooking

the sunglasses and wind-ruffled hair that screams “I’m hungover but I still look effortlessly handsome”? delectable

the dogs?? the best set dressing one could ask for

the attitude and ‘I’m too cool for you’ swagger? priceless and what makes this the second-best outfit of the whole film

9.6/10 this man could punch me and I would be grateful

hot diggity dog, someone get me Claude’s handcuffs

from the front view, it could be argued that this outfit (well, technically it may not really be a separate outfit as it’s the undone version of modern royalty au Thorin), while fairly exceptional, does not first place make

however, someone had the idea to shoot RA from a side angle in this and for that I am eternally in their debt

it’s all about the tease with this one. the glimpse of the suspenders (and holy shit, RA in suspenders was not a look I had thought about before). the way the waist coat hangs off Claude’s chest like that, just enough to make its presence obvious. the cufflinks. the delicate pocket watch chain.

if previous outfits on this list have been all sex and swagger, this is the foreplay. the subtle strip tease.

10/10 

[zims-left-shoe]

Hi, I love your works. I was wondering if I could request a Zim x fem during the tak the hideous new girl episode. Maybe she gets jealous and tries to explain the toxicity of the relationship and just gets so frustrated with Zim that she ends up confessing her feelings to him? Thank you!

Thank you so much! This one was a lot of fun, and I had a lot of things I wanted to do so it’s kind of long and skipped around a few times. I still hope it’s coherent lmao. I honestly really enjoy writing Zim fanfic because his personality is so fun to write for.

For a Monday morning, the energy in the classroom was off the walls. It may have been suppressed to the best of everyone's ability, but anticipation was bubbling to the surface. As you glanced around, several feet were tapping beneath the desks uncontrollably, eyes darting from backpacks that smelled vaguely of meat to the looming figure of Ms. Bitters, who looked bothered to be there--something that wasn't unusual. One kid in the back was even vibrating and frothing at the mouth. The only ones who seemed calm were Zim and Dib; a strange occurrence in its own right, usually those two were the ones causing mayhem. You suspected why. After all, this holiday was never kind to the social outcasts. Best for them not to get excited at all, it's just another day.

Your eyes rested on Zim in particular, lingering there. This tended to happen often, even from the start. How could you not stare at him? When a bizarre green kid shows up out of nowhere and yells a lot, what else are you to do? You had approached him several times before, eating lunch with him on occasion. Zim was definitely weird, but you found yourself liking that about him. Maybe he had piqued your interest purely because he was new. You had been surrounded by the rest of your peers since practically diapers, and fresh faces didn't come around very often. Either way, as much as you didn't want to admit it, you had developed a bit of a crush on him. The combination of his flamboyant attitude and his offbeat personality was just so enticing. 

The phone rang, and you could practically feel the collective breath the class sucked in. Moving in an almost supernatural manner, Ms. Bitters went to answer it. Her eye twitched as she held the receiver to her ear.

"No...no. No!" Her voice came out in a hiss, eyes narrowed to slits behind her glasses. "You'll pay for this one." Angrily hanging up the phone, she turned to address the class, paying no attention to the phone that was being consumed by flames. "Class, despite my moral outrage, the principal is allowing you to celebrate Valentine's Day this year."

Those were the only words needed for the classroom to figuratively errupt like a shaken can of soda. Your peers went wild, cheers close to manic screams sounding as kids dumped their bags out on the desks, meat slabs tumbling out. Again, the only two students not excited were Dib and Zim. Dib wore an expression of irritation, just wishing to get the day over with. Zim on the other hand seemed to be completely confused. His eyes flickered from student to student, watching in disgusted fascination as the meat continued to fall from bags as the kids all had dopey grins plastered on their faces.

"Go ahead. Pass out your Valentine's meat slabs. It's traditional." As if on cue, everyone stood up at once, taking their meat to desks all around the room, full of glee. You had never been the biggest fan of Valentine's Day, but you had decidedly been looking forward to the holiday this year. You thought that maybe this would be the day you could drop some hints to Zim and gauge his reaction. Fishing out the special meat slab you had saved and card you made for him, you stood up, pacing over to his desk. There was already a girl there so you stood back a ways, watching the exchange unfold.

The girl gestured the tray she held in her hands forward, offering the neatly arranged heart shaped mini meat slabs. Rather than take it, Zim pushed himself as far back as his chair would allow, his fingers curling against the desk. 

"I-I left my meat at home. Sorry, I sort of forgot it, uh..." Teeth gritted, his panicked gaze surveyed the classroom to see if the majority had their eyes on him. They didn't; they were much too occupied with their own valentines to pay Zim's antics any mind. Regardless of Zim's clear discomfort, the girl laid the meat on his desk with a smile on her face. "Get that out of my face!" He screamed, violently shoving the meat from his desk and into the poor girl's face. He swiped at the air in front of his face as if trying to defend himself from an attacker. The girl scoffed in annoyance, picking up her meat and walking away, grumbling about how he should have felt lucky to receive anything at all.

The slab of meat you held felt heavy in your hands in that moment. He clearly was not into the whole Valentine's meat slab thing.

Possibly a cultural difference? You thought to yourself, grip tightening on the meat. You only wished to give him something he would like, and maybe in turn, he would like you. But what to do with the meat? Turning around, you saw Ms. Bitters hunched over her desk, looking absolutely miserable. That'll do...

You scuttled over to her desk, gently placing the meat slab down.

"What do you want?" Her voice may have been as grating as nails on a chalkboard, but you had learned to never show fear around her.

"Er, happy Valentine's Day!" 

"Tch. Go socialize with your other hopeless peers before you lose the privilege." Nodding, you slowly backed away. You had gotten rid of the meat, so it was a win for you. To your delight, Zim's desk was empty. His eyes continued to dart around the room, staying vigilant in case some other student came bearing horrible meaty gifts. Letting out one final determined breath, you strode right up to his desk, waving slightly. 

"I said I do not want your vile meats!" He hissed, clawing the air once more. 

"I don't have meat, Zim. It's okay." A giggle fell from your lips as you presented your card. "I hope a card is okay?" He eyed the paper suspiciously as you slid it across his desk.

"Zim has nothing for you, Y/n." Regardless of his concerns, he took the card in his hands. 

"That's fine." With one last distrusting look, he opened the card and began to read. It was a homemade card, something you had spent quite a bit of time on the night before. Doodles in marker were scribbled across the front, and the inside held words about how you thought he was worth hanging around despite everyone shunning him because of being a freak. There was also a decent drawing of him playfighting Dib and winning, which you thought he'd like.

"Oh. This is...um. Wow." Zim seemed to not grasp the meaning of the card. Either that, or this was his way of telling you he wasn't interested. You weren't sure which was more hurtful.

"Sorry, I...just forget about it." Suddenly your shoes became the most interesting thing you had seen in years. However, Zim guessed that he had made a mistake of some kind.

"No! I like it! It is a gift worthy of Zim!! I especially like the part where I beat the Dib." His face was split by a massive grin, and you assumed this was his unorthodox way of thanking you for it. "I thought it would explode or something." You laughed, however, he did not. Apparently he wasn't joking. Another reason you liked him. He was just so unabashedly strange--it was a great break from the norm. 

You hadn't noticed Ms. Bitters take another phone call until after she had hung up, turning back to the class. "Everyone! Sit down!"

"But-" The class began to whine, not finished handing out their meaty treats.

"Now!" The old witch snapped, sending you dragging your feet back to your desk. Zim's eyes were on you the whole time, still trying to figure out why you would give him such a thing, especially without something in return. He didn't have much time to give it deep thought though, as the class erupted in whispers at the humongous jet that had just landed outside the window. You couldn't help but wonder just what was going on. Before you could even begin to delve into that train of thought, a girl wandered into the classroom, sharp purple eyes surveying the room. "To celebrate over crowding in Skool, a new student will be joining us." Ms. Bitters gestured to the girl standing at the front of the room. Her hands were folded behind her black striped dress as she smiled. Despite her seemingly pleasant attitude, something about her just rubbed you the wrong way. There was something off, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

"Hi! My name's Tak. I'm new here."

"Hello, Tak." You joined in with the monotone mumbling of the class, however your words came out in a grumble. 

"My father's the head of the DEE-Licious Weenie corporation. So I brought Valentine's weenies for everyone!" With a wave of her hand, weenies rained down from nowhere that you could see. Almost everyone around you cheered wildly, already thrilled to have Tak as a part of the student body. Just when you were thinking she wasn't so bad, she spoke again. "Except for that kid!" She jumped on top of Ms. Bitters' desk, combat boots bringing a heavy thud. Pointing a finger at Zim, a maniacal smirk was ever present on her face. Whipping your head towards him revealed him to be completely uninterested.

"Weenies, schmeenies! Zim needs no meat!" He waved his hand, leaning back in his chair, a bored expression settling on his features.

Tak ignored his comment, continuing on. "For him, I have prepared a poem." Your eyebrow quirked up, you definitely weren't liking where this was going. She cleared her throat, about to begin, only to be interrupted by Sara.

"Looks like Zim has a girrrlfrieeennnnd!" Her voice was taunting, and although the comment was meant to be just a tease, you felt as if your heart skipped a beat. Your skin prickled as Tak ripped up the paper in her hands, rounding on Sara.

"It's not nice to embarrass people! You should apologize, and, um, eat your eraser!" Zim looked utterly terrified, sinking down so far into his seat that only his eyes were barely visible above the desk. To your shock and amazement, Sara actually proceeded to eat her eraser, even apologizing to both Tak and Zim. Things had officially safely crossed into 'what the fuck' world. You peered at Dib, the usual skeptic and gave him a 'you seeing this shit?' look, hoping he would concur. He seemed fine with what was happening, which was the most concerning part of the whole ordeal.

This is officially the weirdest day I have ever experienced...and it's only nine in the morning... You rested your chin in your hands, worried for whatever was about to happen.

"For longer than I can remember, I've been looking for someone like you. Someone with a head like yours, and a torso too. Birds sing, and you're gonna PAY, the end! Now, here's some meat covered in barbeque sauce!" Tak cackled as she tossed a rack of ribs dripping in barbeque sauce into Zim's face. A horrible shriek of pain tore itself from his throat, and you turned your attention back to Tak. Not only were you irritated that she read Zim a poem, the ending was not normal, and seemed to hide very violent intentions. Something was off. It felt almost as if she had history with Zim.

"Thank you, Tak. That was horrible." Ms. Bitters made room for her to take a seat, sending someone to the supposed 'underground classrooms'. Meanwhile, Zim's face looked as if he had been hit with a scalding hot waffle iron rather than a rack of ribs. His mouth twitched in pain as his fingers dug into the desktop, jaw clenched. The bell rang afterwards, sending kids out faster than the speed of light. You wandered over to Zim, following him out and into the hall. He still grasped at his face, which looked horrible. 

"You okay?"

"Why does it hurt?!" He spoke through gritted teeth, and you sucked in a breath, taking that as a solid no. 

"So...you and Tak. Do you know each other?" You decided to just come right out with it. Might as well.

"No, of course not! I have no idea who she is!" 

"Really? Cause she seemed to know you. People don't just read poems to strangers. And she kind of seemed like she wanted to hurt you, Zim."

"Don't be silly! She seemed to like me. After all, meat is a sign of, what is it...love? Love, right? She's obviously madly in love with me." He grumbled, unhappy about the situation he was in.

"I don't think that's-" He paid no attention to your reasoning, keeping his head down in thought.

"That's it!" His eyes lit up, turning to face you.

"What's it...?" There seemed to be a joke you were missing out on or something. 

"If it's affection she wants..." The word 'affection' didn't roll of his tongue very easy, rather he spat it out as if it were rat poison. "...then it is affection she shall get." Feeling your breath catch in your throat, your heels planted into the floor, sending you into a dead stop.

"What? You can't be serious!" 

"Zim must go! Goodbye, Y/n!" The sound of his heeled boots clicking across the tile further announced his leave as he ran out of the building. This wasn't unusual, he would leave school at odd hours despite school not being over, or sometimes he wouldn't show up at all. 

"Geez, if all I needed to do to get his attention was write a vaguely threatening poem and attack him with meat, I would have done that a long time ago." You muttered while you angrily shuffled to your next class, already hating where the next few days would take you.

-

So far, the day had been going better than you had hoped. After yesterday, you had been waiting for something to happen. During class, whenever Zim would look to Tak, he would laugh under his breath. Apparently you had missed the joke, and so had everyone else. It was concerning at best, and so when the recess bell rang, you took it upon yourself to wander outside, following Zim at an inconspicuous distance. You doubted he would have cared if you were right on his tail, but you had no desire to step in unless absolutely necessary. Of course he had ended up by Tak. She was sitting upon a concrete ledge next to Dib, most likely discussing the possibility of Zim being an alien. 

You exhaled a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding when Zim forcefully shoved Dib off the ledge and into the brambles, hopping up to take his place next to Tak. You knew something was bound to happen, it was just a matter of when. It seemed that time had finally come.

"I have come to accept your feelings for me, I congratulate you for acknowledging my superiority in choosing me as your lovepig. Feel honored!"

"Lovepig…?" You murmured, watching the scene unfold. Yet again, Zim had surprised you. Just the morning before, he had found the idea of Tak being his girlfriend utterly repulsive. Now, he was accepting the offer? Maybe? There had to be a reason. There was always an angle he was playing, but you had to say, this time you were at a loss for what it could be. 

Silence ensued between the two, the only noise being the surrounding din of playing children and birds chirping happy melodies. Without a single word, Tak brought out a bottle of barbeque sauce from seemingly nowhere, squirting Zim with its contents. Almost immediately he screamed, the sound so hideously harsh that it sent all birds within the school yard frantically flying. Zim fell off the ledge and onto the asphalt, rolling around as if he were on fire. Tak cackled, tossing the bottle aside. 

It was incredibly obvious to you that she derived enjoyment from his pain and misery, and you hoped that Zim could see it too. This was the second time this has occurred, he had to understand now, right? 

Pushing himself off the ground, he stood up, brushing dirt and barbeque sauce off of his pink dress. You thought he would be furious, but it seemed that Zim was full of surprises this day. Rather, he spoke calmly for probably the third time in his life. "Now prepare your brain, filthy beast of meat and hair." He grabbed Tak's waist, lifting her from the ledge and setting her down next to him. "Your magical love adventure begins now!"

"Idiot!" You slapped your palms to your face, watching the scene play out in disbelieving horror. Was he genuinely stupid or just a masochist? Tak didn't seem bothered, laughing insanely, Zim joining in. They laughed until Tak took a nearby trashcan, shoving it over his head and kicking him away. You cringed as Dib had crawled out of the bushes, joining in Tak's joy with a smile on his face. 

-

That had been the first incident of that day. There had been many, many more to follow. You had decided to follow Zim and Tak to keep an eye on things, as it was clear that Zim could not handle himself. As you had expected, more pain-based loving ensued. What exactly had went down? Well-

"-he had offered her a muffin, and what does she do? She squirts him with juice and he screeches on the floor like a madman! Oh, then he gifted her a slab of meat in her locker, and she threw him out of skool screaming with the meat tied to his head." Your voice had a growl to it, and was getting progressively more agitated at higher volumes. You slammed your locker closed, the sound so jarring that several students in the surrounding area turned their heads in your direction. 

"I literally have no idea who you're talking about. I'm not even in your grade!" A very frightened looking boy stared back at you incredulously, thinking you to be crazy. The poor kid had just been trying to access the locker beneath yours, but you had pulled him into a very one-sided conversation.

However, you took no notice of his comments, continuing on with your rant. "But there's more! He gave her a gift, but she shoved it over his head. Let's see, she also sicced an attack dog on him when he was trying to give her flowers. He's being so genuinely nice to her, carrying her books and all that! And she just treats him like garbage!" Throwing your hands in the air, you let out a frustrated huff. "She doesn't deserve his affection at all!"

"Yeah, uh...can I get into my locker now so I can go to lunch?" Once again, his words went in one ear and right out the other with you. The only one that stuck was 'lunch'.

"Lunch...that's it! I should try and talk to him! Thank you, Keith!"

"My name's Kevin." He sighed as you ran off towards the cafeteria. Throwing open the double doors, your eyes rested on Zim, who stood at the end of the lunch line looking worse for wear. He was covered in bruises, one eye was swollen, and his skin even seemed to smoldering. His clothes were tattered and dirty from the fresh hell that Tak had been forcing him to endure. He slouched, looking miserable as can be. 

"Zim, hey." You approached him, taking your place in line behind him. He instantly straightened up, wincing in pain as he did so, clutching a hand to his side while murmuring something about his organs rupturing.

"Y/n, what brings you here?"

"Lunch?"

"Ah, yes. That." One of his eyes twitched involuntarily, and you couldn't procrastinate on your true intent any longer.

"I'm worried about you, you know." Your voice was quiet, and you wouldn't mask your concern for him. You wanted him to know that you wished the best for him, and that Tak did not fit that bill.

"Zim is fine." The line moved forward and you both grabbed trays, but you wouldn't let go of your point.

"Zim is not fine. Tak is hurting you, Zim. She's going to do some real damage to you, either physically or mentally. Although by your appearance, it seems that she's already accomplished that."        

"Nonsense! In fact, Zim has never felt better." He grinned as if to prove everything was okay despite all of the evidence that told otherwise. 

"How she's treating you is wrong." He hummed a response, turning away from you as the lunch ladies glopped mush onto his tray. "I'm serious, Zim. She's a psychopath and it's not okay. At all. I'm saying this as your friend."

Without even sparing you a second glance over his shoulder, he spoke with his back turned to you. "Everything is perfectly normal and under control." And with that he walked over to the table Tak was sitting at, leaving you standing there. Was he seriously just going to brush you off like that? 

Dejectedly taking your tray to your own table, you watched--disappointed but not surprised--as Tak dumped both her own and his tray of food onto his head. His face scrunched in pain as if he were being burned, but he didn't yelp this time; he lacked the energy. It hurt to watch, really. Wiping the barely edible food from his face, he stood up on the table, pulling Tak up with him and grabbing her hand.

"Everyone, this is my girlfriend, Tak!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, ensuring that every student in the room heard him. Tak responded by pushing him off of the table and onto the ground, chuckling to herself afterward. Your grip on the table tightened; that was the final straw. Were you jealous? Sure. But most of all, you were more distressed with the situation. You genuinely cared for him, and you wanted to see him in a happy and healthy relationship, not one that was constant pain and misery. Much to your dismay, he still was unable to grasp the toxicity of his relationship with Tak. 

-

It had been a long day for everyone. Especially Zim. When you had stepped into the courtyard after school, you saw him slowly dragging his feet. He looked like he had been beaten halfway to hell, somehow worse than when you had talked to him at lunch. In fact, you weren't even sure if he was human or a reanimated corpse (in reality, he was neither). Curling your hands into fists, you marched right up to Zim. If it was only day one of being with Tak and he already looked this bad, you weren't sure how much longer he could survive. It was clear that he was in desperate need of an intervention. Reaching your hand out, you laid it on his shoulder, feeling him flinch beneath your touch while he squeaked out a cry.

"Oh. It's just you, girl-thing." He seemed to relax, exhaling a long breath. Perhaps he thought you were Tak. 

"We need to talk." Zim looked tired, staying put, which you hadn't entirely expected. "You need to break up with Tak. Whatever your plan was, it's a bad idea." That statement seemed to set him off. Not necessarily because he was in love with Tak, more so that he was overly defensive of his plans. 

"It's fine! It's a perfectly normal pain-based human relationship." He waved your words off with his hand, yet again tossing your concern to the side. Whether he was just harmfully self-absorbed or truly a masochistic idiot would go undecided. Either way, red hot anger sizzled beneath your skin. How could he be so nonchalant about this mess?

"See, the thing is, relationships aren't supposed to be pain-based, you moron! Your whole dynamic is toxic, she's literally abusing you! Why can't you see that?" 

"Zim is not a moron!" Crossing his arms, he turned his head away from you and stuck his chin in the air, quite similar to a small child pouting. "Besides, everything is going completely to plan!"

"Really? Because your skin is smoldering! Was that part of the plan, Zim?" With each comment, your volume increased, to the point where you were both screeching at the top of your lungs, despite standing right beside each other. 

"It's a fashion statement!" He rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out at you. 

"You are so infuriating sometimes, you know that?!" Your voice thick with exasperation, you stomped your foot on the concrete, internally grateful that no one had stuck around after school to see you two arguing like little children, especially over something so important. You blinked back a few tears that were rising due to frustration and anger, Zim drawing back slightly at the sight. 

"Even if it is as bad as you say, why do you care? It's not your business." Although his voice was more hushed than before, his words were still quite cold. You were at your breaking point, and the floodgate couldn't hold back your emotions any longer.

"Because I like you, Zim! Like, like-like you!" Drawing in a deep breath, you prepared yourself for your rant. There was no turning back now, what's done has been done, those fated words had been said. "I don't care how different you are. You're weird, yes, but weird can be good. You may not think so, but even you deserve a functioning and healthy relationship, one where you do normal things like go out on dates, hold each others hands. You say stuff like 'I love you' rather than 'Go die'. Affection isn't supposed to be torture, Zim. Affection is supposed to invoke happiness, and Tak can't give that to you. I'm not saying I could, but..." You trailed off, your brain finally seeming to get with the program. You had already said too much. 

For the first time in the history of ever, Zim stood there in a dead silence. He appeared to not know what to say or how to say it. You didn't blame him. What was he supposed to do? Scoop you up into his arms and run off into the sunset? You wanted nothing more in than moment than for a pit to open beneath your feet and swallow you whole, never to be seen again. Grabbing at the hem of your shirt, your face felt as if it were on fire. Staring at the ground under your shoes, you attempted to will the previously mentioned pit into existence. No such luck.

"I, uh, see." Zim spoke first, amazingly calm about the whole ordeal. Slowly, his usual air of confidence was returning. "Well, it might interest you to know that I was going to break things off with Tak anyway." Hope rose in your chest. Even if he wanted nothing to do with you, you were just glad he was getting out of that horrid situation. 

"Really?" 

"Mhm." Awkwardly clearing his throat, he shifted his weight from foot to foot, genuinely unsure of what to do with all of this newfound information. After a few moments, a grin spread on his face, which happened to be the tell-tale sign of him having an idea. Whether it was competent or disastrous, odds were about 30-70. For his sake, you prayed that it was much better than his Tak idea. "Say, Y/n. Would you be interested in aiding me in studying a normal human relationship?"

Sure, the way he was asking was strange, and you vaguely wondered if he held hidden motives--the answer to that question was most likely yes, but you still felt okay about your answer. 

"Are you asking me out?"

"...Yes." 

Pearls of laughter escaped you; he was bizarre, always has been, always will be. And yet, he was the one you had fallen for. "Sure. Only after you break up with Tak." It was then that he smiled, not a malicious smirk of a wolf cornering its prey, rather that of a boy who was just pleased to exist.

"Consider it done."

[suguwu]

Yanno, it's funny, other than the occasional ask I send in, I don't usually reach out to people on Tumblr because I'm a weenie. But I had no fear when I slid into your dms lol. Well, maybe a lil nervous but I was mostly excited to find you so I just popped in with a "Hello! I'm the screaming goblin creature on Ao3 nice to meet you!" So like, 2/10 perhaps.

skljflsf i was so excited that you found me! maybe it helped that we had technically talked already even tho it was thru ao3 comments? also i'm like 99% certain you were the very first person to slide into my dms so i was probs a bit nervous too!

how intimidating am i on a scale of 1-10