#screaming cat rodent thing on the other

[aha-my-villainous-thoughts]

I love Frenchie so fucking much. Also, incredibly tempted to embroider that flag on my coat.

the art and the artist 🥰

[teyums]

a/n: cats are so funny because they genuinely think they’re doing something nice for you when they drop a mouse at your feet as an offering and it’s actually the opposite. i was watching my cat play with her little toy and it just brought the terrifying memory back to me bc WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WANT THIS? As soon as the idea came i wrote it, Neteyam just seems like the type LMAOO 😭

neteyam x human!reader

It takes Neteyam quite a while to understand the difference between Na’vi women and human women, especially the difference in what you do and don’t like. But you can’t blame him, you don’t look like his kind, you don’t smell like his kind, hell, you don’t even dress like them.

The Na’vi’s behavior very closely resembles that of a house cat on earth— you’ve noted after studying how Neteyam’s emotions portray themselves through his expressive tail, how his ears dip when he’s angry or perk up when he’s excited, or how he purrs when you finally agree to sitting in his lap instead of your chair while you finish up your work for the day. With the innate behavior of the two creatures mirroring each other almost completely, it’s no surprise that this also heavily factors into what they deem as ‘gifts’ for their favorite human.

Just as housecats will fetch their humans dead animals or rodents as an offering to them, the Na’vi way isn’t too far from that. You hated so much as looking at dead animals, let alone being near them, but when your childhood cat, Loki, used to bring field mice into the home and drop them at the foot of your bed, at least it was small enough for you to scoop into a grocery bag with pinched eyes and a hand over your nose while you fought back the tears of sheer terror.

Most of Neteyam’s catlike nature rendered adorable to you, and while you were more than willing to learn more about the ways of his people, this new custom he’d introduced you to had your heart dropping out of your ass like a brick and your soul exiting your body as if you could do without it. It’s when he shows up to the lab, a dead boar strung over his back with the biggest, toothiest smile you’ve ever seen spread on his lips until a bloodcurdling scream wipes it clean off his expression.

“Oh my God, ‘Teyam, get it away, get it away!” You shrill, so startled you almost tumble out of your desk chair, the hairs on your neck standing straight up as you divert your attention from the animal that’s almost the size of your body, a panicked hand splayed over your rumbling chest and the other extended out, palm towards him.

���What? You don’t like it? Should I have gone with a hexapede (deer) instead?” His brows gather in the center of his forehead when he steps closer and you immediately yelp and scoot back, the metal wheels of your chair screeching against the smooth tile with the effort of your retreat. He’s wholeheartedly confused, because any woman of his kind would find such a gesture as this one beyond thoughtful, and even romantic. Catching one of these things isn’t easy, and a clean kill with an arrow through the heart as to not rupture or damage the meat of the animal is even harder.

“I even skinned it for you!” He urges with a pout.

Your involuntary squeal interrupts his attempt to convince you as you fan your face with your hands, but it seems as if he’s still having trouble understanding.

“Perhaps I should have roasted it as well…” He ponders to himself with a hand pinching his chin, deep in contemplation while he keeps his catch over his shoulder and his eyes cast toward the wall, completely missing the way your trembling hands scramble over your desk for something to launch at him.

“GET IT OUT!”

He winces at the pitch of your shriek, astounded by how that loud of a sound could come out of such a tiny being. His brows raise before he quickly ducks to dodge the one-subject notebook that flaps past his head in a blur of fluttering paper, and he hurriedly obliges your wishes with a few steps back and a rushed ‘okay, okay!’.

Likes + Comments + Reblogs are much appreciated 💗

©teyums 2023

[illubean]

Hi ! Can you do the main four hxh (platonic Gon and Killua) x reader neko who has the reflexes, hearing and speed of a cat. But who takes a lot of naps during the day and is very lazy .

How will they react if as a 'gift' you gave them a dead animal (cats do this when they like someone, and I think their reactions would be rather funny).

(Sorry if my English is bad, it's not my native language.)

Have a nice day!

Main 4 (HXH) With a CatHybrid!Reader

Characters: Gon Freecs, Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika Kurta, Leorio Paladaknight Type: Platonic, Headcanons, Gn!Reader

personally I prefer using the word hybrid instead of neko idk

Warnings: mentions of dead animals

Gon Freecs

coming from an island I think Gon knows a lot about animals

he's not too surprised when you bring him rodents you've caught

he literally goes fishing and I'm pretty sure there's others on the island who hunt so he doesn't think much of it

he probably gifts you some of the fish he catches too

he lets you do your own thing most of the time, since you're lazy and he's like the polar opposite of you

he is always out and about doing things or just simply exploring

Gon has both exceptional sense of smell and hearing just like you so you guys often react the same to certain sounds or scents

he doesn't know how to tell how your feeling by your tail behavior but he does know how to tell by your eyes

he knows that whenever your pupils blow wide, you're feeling mischievous

Killua Zoldyck

you'd probably mistake him for one of you if he hadn't been missing the ears and tail

both your reflexes and speed were evenly matched

but your hearing is much better than his

he generally trusts your judgement, so if your ears twitch and you take off in the opposite direction he's following you without question

you're very lazy so he knows that if you're running its for a reason

as for the gift thing...

the first time you dropped a dead rat at his feet he was very confused

you literally sat there like :3 while he was kind of disgusted...

"What the hell is this" "A gift :D" "Uh ok then..."

when he sees you laying around taking naps either basking in the sun or curled up in some corner he probably joins you since you find it so comfortable

and after that he understands the appeal

#nappingbuddies

Kurapika Kurta

he already gives me cat owner vibes so your whole hybrid thing doesn't bother him

he probably knows how to tell what you're feeling by the flick of your tail and position of your ears too

he often finds you sleeping or lounging about in odd places around his cozy apartment

and if you ever so choose to nap on top of him he will simply refuse to wake you up

he will stay wherever he is until you get up on your own

he has to hide any catnip he may have from you because yk...you're much larger than a normal cat and would probably go insane and accidentally destroy things

he knows about your little gifting habit so when you eventually start bringing small animals to him he pretends to accept them and throws them away when you're not looking

you are a very spoiled kitty; whenever he has the time this man cooks you fresh meals

whenever you're feeling moody he hits you with the behind the ears and under the chin scratch combo

and it works to make you feel better every single time

Leorio Paladaknight

he's 100% tried the cucumber trick on you

he watched you turn around then launch like 15 feet into the air and laughed because he couldn't believe it actually worked

pls hit him for that it's not funny.

in my head Leorio uses strong cologne so with your heightened senses you'd probably have to keep your distance

and he's lwky bitter about it...

but sometimes you manage to catch him on days where he's not going out therefore he feels no need to put any on

and boom you can cuddle with him then

when you brought him a dead animal one day he screams like a girl

"WTF GET IT AWAY!" "But it's a present :("

he kind of feels bad after seeing the dejected and confused look on your face but please for the love of god get that poor bird out of his living room

when you take it away he ends up forgetting about it until he finds it hidden under the couch or something a few days later

he ends up screaming again...

[s0ftb1tch12]

i may not be able to write out actual fanfic but i can put out ideas that scratch my brain and make me scream into the void

SO

being hazel callahan’s passenger princess and going on night drives when you both can’t sleep

going to zoos and aquariums where she rambles out fun facts on her favourite animals

staring at the chains around her neck so often she notices and buys you matching ones (same thing with rings, even better if they’re from brittany’s jewelry business)

movie marathon dates under a blanket fort complete with fairy lights, fluffy blankets, and snacks

fidgeting with each other’s hands while having long talks about whatever

i’m a FIRM believer in cocky!hazel after a few months of dating. once she knows you’ll stick with her for the long run, she’s not as nervous and acts more flirty (lingering touches, cheesier words, etc)

she may not be able to cook but she’ll surely try and learn your favorite foods (i think she’s more of a baker since baking is kinda like chemistry and we all know how she feels about explosive reactions)

on that note, i do believe she’s top of her class in chemistry or physics (thinking about her tutoring you in those subjects but those study dates eventually lead to makeout sessions)

that kiss scene towards the end of the movie and the fact that she wears rings really inspired me,,, y’all know where this is going probably (i NEED someone to write this desperately because i ain’t seen it anywhere and i’m down BAD)

literally any member of band!gf x loser!gf (i’m talking bassists, guitarists, drummers, lead singers)

those fics with cheerleader gf x loser gf !!! smth i haven’t seen with this trope yet is cheerleader gf surprising her with her strength, carrying her princess style

goth!gf x nerd!gf: her letting you do her eyeliner like yours, sitting in her lap as she lies down (like this 😩)

bimbo!gf x loser!gf: your average oblivious hyperfem with her awkward masc relationship, even better if bimbo!gf wears heels often so she’s taller than hazel who is at perfect height for forehead kisses (usually leaving lipstick marks that she doesn’t notice until pj basically screams and points at it)

hazel carrying a bunch of chapstick or hair ties in her backpack in case her gf forgets hers

thrifting dates because slow fashion is important

as a sanrio girlie, i think hazel would love pompompurin and his little hat

hazel acts kinda like a little golden retriever so she would definitely get along will with dogs but i like to think she’s a cat person, cats fucking LOVE her and she is always feeding the strays on her block

hazel is a tea girlie and yes she does have fun facts about them (chamomile became v important after her parents divorce)

hazel likes simulation games like stardew valley and role playing games like baldur’s gate (she spends hours making her character) (yes this is self indulgent because i love bg3)

she loves handmade gifts; make this baby a mug, crochet her a sweater, paint her a picture and she will melt

soooooo many trinkets on her shelves (god i wish we saw her room in the movie)

she def has a less common pet (reptiles, bugs, rodents [like ferrets])

a bird would be nice for hazel if i’m being honest, she talks to it everyday but especially after a bad day (like when pj dismisses whatever cool thing she wants to talk about at lunch and changes the topic by talking over her)

idk what else to say rn but best believe that my brain will rot again because the gay shit will not be going away any time soon

[shkika]

do you think slugcats actually wawa? It is a fairly popular fanon sure but I have been wondering for the last few days. We know slugcats must have some decent hearing - some of the map markers are explicitly the slugcat using its hearing to differentiate between other living creatures in other rooms and so on (although the actual passages they apparently just commit to the memory). Probably not as good as black lizard hearing but pretty good. However this part of gameplay as proof of canon worldbuilding might be taken with a grain of salt

that may suggest that audial communication between slugcats may actually be pretty hard to hear for humans - similar to how we cannot hear most of audible signals of various rodents. The problem is, well, it is a gameplay concession for the most part and tbh the way gameplay is integrated with worldbuiding - the devs made an attempt but the realization is imho wonky at best and misleading at worst.

back to wawas, we can try to draw a comparison between domestic cats and slugcats wherein meow is something mostly relegated to 'babytalk' and a specific type of call which some cats, especially those who grew up with humans, adopt for cat to human communication (with cats who grew up without much human interaction sometimes never taking up a habit of meowing even if they end up living with humans later on and actively engaging with them positively). In this case a wawa is a specific signal that is either used for example in danger (owing to how we hear a wawa like sound in one of the danger alert osts) or during communication with the young.

this assumes we take danger osts as actually symbolically reflective of something.

Howerver! While just like the map it seems to be largely a gameplay concession, most of slugcat out of cutscene (aka the gourmand ending slides) communication is reliant on body language. Pointing, jumping, things like that. Even with the pups we mostly interact via those things. Which... either suggests a dimension of pup interaction we do not see because of the gameplay limitations or we should take it as wawa not being a slugcat 'babytalk'.

Which leaves wawas with a very dubious space as a potential 'can be fit into canon' or not.

Oh I'm SO sorry, but I don't think slugcats wawa at all,,

I just think Rivulet ONLY can scream.

Slightly longer ramble under cut!

I think lore and gameplay are mostly done pretty well! For example the cycle mechanic is something you can only really theorize on if you look at both gameplay and lore. You get to experience the pain of cycles all on your own!

As for wawas.. as you have mentioned, they mostly use body language and art. Picture from Gourmand campaign ↓

Spearmaster draws too, and uses sign language to communicate with Suns. And I hear you. "Spearmaster is domesticated, they don't count" and you're right!

BUT

The fact they can learn such complicated sign language would imply they have the capacity for it in their brain to learn and memorize a language so complicated in the first place. Unless that was modified as well.

But it is more intuitive for slugcats to understand gestures than speech, which is why they need the mark of communication as they otherwise just hear incomprehensible garble. Their brains weren't made for many complicated noises. Yet when they DO have the mark they are capable of understanding extremely complicated sentences and such.

The wawas in threat themes are just the track not actual noise your slugcat makes. A lot of tracks have quite the bizarre sounds in them.

I think slugcats draw, point and jump to communicate. They're rodents that sign!

My only self-indulgent funny headcanon is.. as forementioned, that Rivulet can scream. There is no proof or basis for this. It's just incredibly creepy and funny to me.

This is why that creature wanders alone. Cursed being.

[sassylegshayne]

marry me, idiot. - chapter six

this chapter is so sweet and domestic I hope you guys enjoy, I love it sm!! lmk what you think mwah xx 🫶💓 3.5k words!!

series masterlist

You and Spencer groaned simultaneously as the two of you left the Smosh office after another very long, wedding themed day. You'd started off the morning by shooting for the Reddit series, reacting to a load of wedding themed stories that Shayne read. It ran for longer than planned, as shoots with the three of your tend to; it was nearly two hours later that the three of you moved to the next set.

Kiana loved your idea for the TNTL wedding party gauntlet and gave it the go ahead. She appeared for both sides, Spencer and you unwilling to cave and let the other claim your shared best friend. Shayne did the same, sitting through the first round with Spencer's team, but as the last person was set to appear, he went out as CFM.

Your team ended up losing early on when Spencer's team pretended to be male strippers, each in a different costume, hired for your bridal party.

Lisa screamed and shook her head from her stool beside you as lan stood before her, rubbing his chest hair after he unbuttoned his floral button up. You tried your best to hold it in as the sole survivor of your team but caved when Spencer approached you in the rodent stume, twirling the tail around.

"That feels like it's gonna be a HR nightmare, Lisa, I'm so sorry." You laughed, wiping your mouth.

The final stretch was here, once you two had picked your bridal parties, shooting began, again. You two had decided it best to keep it within the realms of Smosh, excluding your family and other friends. It didn't really matter, you were only getting fake married.

There'd be a real wedding in the future. What? What the fuck? Would there be? You and Spencer had spent the last nine months in a secretive, blissful fog together. You'd spent the same amount of time together, just some small things changed.

You had been so wrapped up in the planning of the fake wedding recently, Kiana helping as best as she could with her own busy schedule. It felt like every moment you weren't shooting, editing, or sleeping, you were ordering a cake, ordering decorations, booking the chapel.

The stress around every other part of your relationship had blinded you, not thinking for a moment about what you two would actually become after you wed.

Spencer is about two shirts away from moving his entire closet in with yours; you were just around the corner from asking him to move in, as soon as the timing was right.

You learned just how deeply of a boob-man Spencer is, he didnt keep his hands off of you behind closed doors, and his hands liked to wander. You never complained, you missed out on years worth of love for each other, you're allowed to make up for lost time.

Somehow you two had actually managed to grow closer, if it's even possible. You'd already been attached at the hip, but Spencer began spending almost every night with you, much to Criag's dismay.

Their relationship continued on the steady path it seemed to always stay on. They avoided each other, then followed each other, then spent time together, and the cycle would begin again.

Your cat and your boyfriend were slowly beginning to learn to co-exist.

You and Spencer had established that you're a couple, you're dating, you're actually engaged and will be getting married, but as a joke. But neither of you had thought about what would come after that?

Not once in the last nine months had the thought crossed either of your minds until now. As you walked out of the office door, hands locked together, it dawns on you.

Your wedding was just over a month and a half away and you had no clue where your relationship would stand after you got married. What a fucked up situation you were in.

Spencer tugged on your hand softly, pulling you to a halt just before you reach his car. He grins as he spins you slowly, tugging you into his embrace as soon as you face him.

You couldn't help but grin as you resting your head on his shoulder, your eyes fluttering shut as his lips pressed gently against your forehead.

"You gota lot on your mind?" Spencer spoke softly, his hands trailing gently up and down your back as you nod.

"I'm kinda stressin, dude." You replied, laughing softly. The squeaking of hinges in the distance sends you jumping back a bit, hand placed to your chest.

Spencer couldn't hold in his laughter as the loud parking garage door constantly startled you. You shoved his shoulder gently, blushing as you passed him, waiting impatiently at the car door.

"Stop pouting, your face is gonna get stuck like that." You rolled your eyes, flipping him the finger as the doors finally unlocked.

You talked about your dinner plans, settling on ordering in, the both of you were far too tired to cook.

When you arrived home, you were quick to scoop your meowing cat into your arms. You pecked Spencer quickly, carrying your purring kitty down the hall as you entered into your bedroom.

Craig was quick to dismiss you, springing from your arms and onto your mattress, settling himself on Spencer's pillow.

You praised your cat quietly, rubbing his head gently before you began to gather a few things.

Kimmy and Courtney had gifted you a massive basket full of different self-care itemsa few weeks ago.

Kimmy had presented it to you, claiming that you'd need these more the closer the wedding got. You gratefully accepted the gift, so overwhelmed that anyone was treating this as if it were real, and amazed with how sweet your friends are.

You had dismissed her warning before, but as you found yourself so close, so much planning still left to do or finalize, a night to yourself sounded amazing.

The thought was entertained for days, the idea of coming home and not having to concern yourself with the wedding for a few hours became more appealing each day.

Spencer had laughed softly when you brought it up to him the night before as you two laid in bed. You rested your head on his chest, fingers balled around the fabric of his shirt as you listened to his steady heartbeat.

"Spencer?" You whispered, afraid you'd procrastinated too much and that he'd fallen asleep already.

"Y/N?" He finally spoke back after a moment. Hus voice was raspy with sleep as he adamantly denied being woken up, trying to keep from upsetting you. You would profusely apologize if he admitted it.

You laid out your plan, detailing what you wanted to do for the night with every last detail, down to the face mask you were going to use. Your cheeks grew warm, the pink invisible to Spencer in your dark room as he chuckled, nodding along.

He pulled the covers tighter, shifting after he kissed the top of your head. "Okay, baby:" Spencer spoke, resting his chin atop your head as he shut his eyes, feeling your shoulders relax as you sighed.

He slowly wrapped his arms around you, peppering your face with more pecks and kisses as you giggle, squirming in his grip. Spencer slowed his assault, trailing his lips to meet yours, melting into a fevw sweet, chaste kisses.

He knew in his gut that something was wrong, you hadn't been this stressed before. You had a lot on your plate and Spencer was more than ready to help whenever you were ready to ask.

You found yourself to be much more excited than you expected as you dug through the goodies. You pulled out a few lotions, setting aside your favorite scent alongside the matching body wash.

You quickly made your way into your bathroom, grinning at Spencer as you passed by him in the living room.

"Should order now or later?" He called out, leaning over the backside of the couch to glance into the open bathroom doorway. Spencer couldn't help the giddy feeling inside of him as he caught a glimpse of you removing your shirt.

No matter how many times Spencer sees you undressed, he's always this excited. You two had accidentally seen each other naked a fewW times before you got together, and many times on purpose since, but it was different now. Every kiss gave him butterflies, and everytime he sees you naked, he practically turns into a thirteen year old.

He realized quickly what is was that had shifted. You were his now, you gave him the freedom to roam, learning every little detail about your body, and Spencer realized that he didn't want anybody touching you like he did.

It wasn't so much of a protectiveness, but moreso because he wanted to be the one to touch you for the rest of your life and his. He'd absolutely fallen for you all over again, and it felt like it was becoming a daily occurrence.

The most intimate moments with you were so much better than he'd ever imagined. It felt like you two were made for each other in every sense of the word. He told you that he loved you constantly, but showing you was was better, and moaning it in your ear was the best.

Having you in his life felt like a gift, a privilege he would cherish forever, grateful that the stars aligned or whatever it may be that brought you to him. Spencer was way beyond head over heels.

You call out to him, but it falls on deaf ears as you shimmy out of your bottoms, your back to the living room as your boyfriend remains quiet.

"What? I can't hear you?" Spencer finally calls out to you. He had gotten lost in his thoughts, your voice mumbled as he looked back toward the bathroom.

You sigh as you unclasp your bra, a grin across his cheeks as it hits the tile floor, looking over your shoulder again. Your eyes meet your boyfriend's, the blue now your favorite color, as a blush spreads across your cheeks, finally catching him staring at you.

Spencer sits on the edge of the couch, his leg bouncing as he held his phone tightly, his cheeks now tinged pink. "Come here, I didn't catch that." He felt like a kid on Christmas morning as he heard your feet patter across the floor.

You huffed, one hand pressed to your chest as your previously discarded shirt barely covered your chest, your other hand posed on your hip as you gave Spencer a playful glare.

"Happy?" Spencer laughed, resting his hands on your hips as you slipped the shirt back over your head, tugging you into his lap. The two of you held each other, enjoying the stillness and silence until a figure jumps behind Spencer, causing you to jump as well.

A chuckle rumbled through Spencer's chest as a meow echoed from your cat, earning a glare from you as he perched around your boyfriend's neck. The two of them shared a habit of startling you.

"Order later, let me take a shower real quic-" Spencer shook his head, silencing you as your brow furrowed.

"No need to rush, take your time. I'll order whenever you want." He pressed a quick kiss to your lips, but you weren't ready to part. You trailed after him, pecking his lips quickly, hand tangling gently in his hair as the other rested on his chest.

Spencer groaned softly as your teeth sunk gently into his bottom lip, his fingertips digging into the soft skin of your bare bottom. After a few moments you feel Spencer's hands wandering under your shirt, excitement building inside of you rapidly.

Your mood dissolves quickly as your hip stings lightly, Spencer snapping the waistband against you as he pulls back slowly, a smug look on his face. You glare at him playfully, lightly punching his shoulder before your press your forehead to his, smiling.

"Go, get in the shower." He squeezes your thighs gently as you pout, unwilling to remove yourself from his lap. "Go relax, we've got the rest of our lives to spend together."

You felt a strange pressure settling in your chest at his words, your thoughts once more weighing heavy on your mind and heart.

Spencer was quick to notice the small movements you make, the twitching of your fingertips as your smile falters ever so slightly. No one could notice these tiny shifts like Spencer could.

You sigh softly, pressing a final peck to his lips before you rise from his lap. You lean over him, smiling as you scratch under Craig's chin before slipping back into the bathroom.

Spencer finally released a breath he didn't realized he'd be holding as the pipes squeak, indicating that you'd started your shower. Something was off, but he knew way better than to pry. You would come to him as soon as you were ready.

It isn't how you used to handle your problems before you started dating, but now that you

You were around each other so often, your conflict resolutions had shifted. You liked to take your time thinking over exactly how you wanted to Word everything, every answer to any question he may have.

So he'd sit on the couch, and he'd let you relax. Tonight probably wasn't the night, judging by your reaction.

You tried your best to melt away your stress with the hot water, hoping your anxieties could rinse down the drain as you shampoo your hai. You follow your own, and Spencer's, demands and take your sweet time, your phone softly playing music from the bathroom counter.

You pull on a shirt of Spencer's that you've You go through your skin care routine for the first time in a while, a thin layer of dust atop your lotion bottle.

You set it aside, mentally chastising yourself over your lack of regularity. You pull yourself on to the bathroom counter, crossing your legs as you stared at your freshly washed face in the mirror.

You sat in the small room for a while, taking your time applying a facemask as you thought over just how to approach this weird relationship.

Spencer wandered down the hall after placing the order for your pizzas, furrowing his brow with a small chuckle as he glances into the bathroom, the door still open.

You grin at him in the mirror as best as you can, the mask drying quickly and pulling your skin tightly. You spun around, motioning Spencer to join you. He stood between your legs, resting his hands on your thighs. "Do I get pre-wedding selfcare, too?"

"Of course you do, sweetheart. It's very important."' You quipped as you grabbeda headband, allowing him to push his hair out of his face.

"Ya know what?" You spoke quietly as you began applying the mask to him. He hissed as the cold, thick, cucumber scented mask swiped across his cheek, unhappy with the feeling. "I'm glad you're growing out your hair again. liked the buzz cut, but the curls suit you. You're very babygirl."

Spencer was thankful for the mask as it hid his brightly colored cheeks. Once you had read one comment where someone called Spencer that a few years back, it sparked something. had been quite a while since the last time you'd brought it up, he almost missed it.

"I am not babygirl." He protests, his nails dragging softly against your skin as he lets his hands wander your exposed thighs. You smile as much as your mask would allow, giggling when Spencer gives you a confused look, wincing as the mask cracks.

His fingertips trail under the hem of your shorts as you squirm a bit, his light touch tickling your skin. Spencer attempts to grin at you as he tugs you closer, pressed up against you as you lazily Wrap your legs around his waist.

You grab a makeup wipe and clean around your boyfriend's eyes and lips before nodding curtly. "All done, now you gotta sit around and wait." You pressed a peck to his lips, quickly dissolving into a fit of giggles as Spenc refused to let you pull away. He kept peppering your lips with soft pecks in between your laughter.

"Spence." You huffed, whining softly as he finally halting his actions, still laughing as he tried his best to stifle it.

"I have something kinda serious I wanna talk about, you dick." Spencer took a deep breath, trying to take you as seriously as he could with the cracked green mask coating your face. He finally gets his giggles under control, nodding to you, encouraging you to begin.

"Okay, so we're dating, and kinda engaged, but after the wedding, where we agreed to actually get married, are we still dating or are we married?" You speak quickly, sighing as you finish, eyes filled with worry as Spencer's heart tugs at the thought. That's why you'd been so weird, hed been stressing you out without even knowing it.

Spencer quickly raises his hands to cup your cheeks but stops short as you lean away, giggling as his hands nearly smudge your mask away. He rolls his eyes, placing a quick peck to your lips, wincing as the mask pulled his face taught.

You alarm begins to ring as your boyfriend groans, it felt like everything in your relationship was destined to be interrupted as the door bell rang quickly after. Spencer groaned, catching a glimpse of his own face in the mirror, finally taking in his current state.

"You have to answer the door, I look like Shrek, Y/N." Spencer spoke, taking a step back from you, hoping you'd slip from the counter.

You huff, keeping yourself seated as you hiss back at him jokingly. "I look like Fiona, I'm not going to get it." You argued as the bell rang again, pointing your finger towards the front door.

Spencer huffed, rolling his eyes as he trudged down the hall. "At least Fiona's hot, no one wanted to fuck the ogre." He mumbled under his breath as he approached the door, shooing off Craig as he waited to pounce on whoever may be standing outside of the apartment.

You quickly grab a washcloth, rinsing the mask from your face, quickly applying your lotion after. You take a deep breath, smiling at your reflection as you admire the glow on your skin.

Spencer returned to you after a few minutes, his face deadpan as he stood in the doorway. "Dude laughed, the guy saw my self care and laughed in my face. That sucked."

You bit back a laugh as you grab the washrag once more, slowly removing the green from your boyfriend face. Spencer was quick to steal your lotion,

You mirror him, grinning before you usher him out of the small space, the smell of greasy pizza hitting your nose. You quickly dart around Spencer, giggling as you grab the pizza box from the counter.

You settle into the couch, smiling at Spencer's before sitting beside you.

The two of you wordlessly dig in, Spencer rolling his eyes as you refuse his offer of a plate again.

think that we have to decide together what we become after the wedding. I mean, I don't care what title we put on our relationship because I'm yours no matter what." Spencer spoke softly, his eyes on yours as he smiled reassuringly.

You nodded your head, chewing your lip as you mulled over the idea. You leaned forward, swiping a bit of sauce off of your boyfriend's cheek. "You're right, and agree. I mean. it may be a bit soon to get married for a normal relationship, but.."

Spencer laughed as you gestured between the two of you. You two had built a wonderful relationship full of love despite taking the strangest route to get here.

"Move in with me." You said before taking another bite, offering him nothing else as you smiled sweetly.

"Alright." Spence chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. He never thought a relationship could be so easy; the two of you just decided to get married, for real, and move in together within a few minutes.

It warmed Spencer's heart to think about how quickly his life had changed, and how much more it would in the next few months.

[barrenclan]

OH MY GOD?!?!?!?

that issue. just. holy sht. that issue. that was crazy

DUSTFEATHER IS CANONLY DEAD?!?! BUT WHERE’S RAINHAZE?? I feel like he’d probably be nearby if he was dead too, but he ain’t.. what killed her?! or who, technically? maybe it was the ranger+hacksaw duo, as they said “the corpse is still rotting” GRRR THIS IS SO GOOD

also DEEPDARK REVEAL?! FOR THE FIRST TIME?!?! TECHNICALLY?!?! OH MY GOD HE’S HERE HE’S HERE IM GOING TO SCREAM INTO THE VOID HE’S HERE AND HIS BADDIES R HERE!!!!!! HE KNOWS OF BARRENCLAN!! BAD THINGS R COMING LADS

saturn :(( i immediately grew attached i’m so sad. i loved the symbolism of both of them reaching to eachother’s young kin: if saturn stayed alive, she’d be reaching at the life of the kits. if pinepaw killed her, he’d be reaching at the life of the chicks. it’s so sad but such a great depiction of the struggles of hunting that aren’t really explored in wc content, and a great way of using the way that they can communicate. also it ever so slightly shows eachother’s culture, as while friendly friendly is universal, prey sees predators as bloodthirsty beasts, which.. they have a right to, heartbreakingly enough. they kill and seek blood, but to protect themselves and others from hunger. just.. the circle of life.

i love saturn sm and i miss her already. great birdie who deserved so much more methinks. I LOVE THIS ISSUE SO MUCH IM EATING IT THANK YOU

HEHEH that is the exact reaction I was hoping to get from this issue so I'm glad. :]

Yes this is the first time Deepdark has fully appeared in the comic! The other time it's been by implication, or a shot of his side, something like that. I wanted him to have his bad bitch moment in this issue.

I'm so sorry to everyone who got attached to Saturn only for me to kill her off... my bad. That is what I was representing with the panel of them reaching toward each other, though, so I'm happy it came across. It also aligns with Saturn's line before that; "we all need to eat". The funny thing is that burrowing owls are also predators, just that they eat things like insects and small rodents. Which is why she specifically calls him a "tooth-hunter". Since this story expands outside of just cats like canon Warriors, I think it's very interesting to explore predator-prey dynamics in many different directions. Cause to coyotes, for example, a cat is a prey animal. To a cat, a burrowing owl is prey, but to a mouse, it's a predator.

And as well, despite Pinepaw and Saturn having a truce, they both know fully well that if they had access to the other's young, they'd kill them without question. Which just compounds on the sadness, because we can see that Pinepaw and Saturn get along well and in another circumstance, could be friends. Sorry that got a bit rambly, but it's a neat subject to me.

Press F to pay respects to Saturn. :[

[holylulusworld]

Cat-napped

Summary: A cat cat-naps your rat.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Characters: Sam Wilson, Alpine the cat

Warnings: language, rat-napping, rat-hate, fun, reader loves rats, Bucky loves his cat, a hint of fluff, awful word play, I mention cancer (no description)

“Stop the cat! Stop the cat! Stop the cat they got my rat!!!” you scream at the top of your lungs while chasing a white cat along the hallways of your apartment complex. “Help! That monster got my rat!”

“What? Where?” you almost crash into two guys. One of them steadies you as the other looks at you as if you lost your mind. “What’s wrong, sugar?” the friendlier of the pair asks. “I’m Sam.” He says as you already try to sidestep them to get back to chasing the cat.

“I-that cat got my rat! The monster will kill Chestnut!” sniffling you try to make the men understand that you need to save your rat. “The cat cat-napped my rat! Please help me!”

“Alpine would never do such a thing,” the other man finally speaks. “Why would he kidnap a dirty rodent?”

“You must excuse my friend,” Sam tries to calm you. “Bucky is very fond of his cat.” He grins as he guides you toward the cat. Alpine still is holding your rat by its neck, while looking up at its owner with big eyes. “Alpine, let the rat go.”

Bucky steps toward the cat. “Alpine didn’t cat-nap the rat. If he took the rat, and I’m not saying he did, he would’ve rat-napped the rat,” Bucky grunts as you are close to losing your mind. “Alpine, let the dirty thing go.”

“My rat ain’t dirty! Chestnut is clean and a good rat,” you growl as Bucky crouches down to pat his cat’s head.

“Alpine, let the rat go,” he softly says and the cat immediately lowers its head to carefully put the rat down. Alpine licks over Chestnut’s head, purring before stepping away.

“Chestnut,” you crouch down and hold out your right hand for your rat. The little rat looks up at Alpine, sniffing at its leg before turning around to run toward you. Chestnut stands on two legs to sniff at your hand. “Good girl.” You sniffle as your rat jumps onto your hand and climbs up your arm to get comfortable on your shoulder.

Bucky carefully picks Alpine up. He stares at Chestnut on your shoulder, shuddering as the rodent snuggles into your shirt. “Uh-she has a rat on her shoulder, Sam.”

“I can see that man,” Sam steps toward you to get a closer look at Chestnut. “Aw, he’s a cuddly little rat.”

“She,” you correct. “And yes, she’s a good rat. Chestnut is cuddly and she loves to groom me.” You fall into an easy conversation with Sam. He laughs as you tell him about your rat and that you saved her from the animal shelter.

“Sam, we should be on our way,” eying you and your rat Bucky tries to get Sam to follow him. “I’ll bring Alpine back to my apartment.”

“Yeah, be right there,” Sam grumbles. “Another time,” he says. “I’d like to get to know more about rats. I never thought they that can be so…” Sam carefully runs his index finger over Chestnut’s back. “Cute and cuddly.”

“Any time,” you smile widely as Sam seems to be interested in rats too.

It’s not easy to find people liking rats. They got a bad reputation due to the millions of rats running around town.

Of course, they got nothing to do with your domestic rat. People just don’t want to see rats can be the best pet ever…if you just give them a chance…

“No! Not again!” you cry while chasing Alpine up the fire escape staircase of your building. The cat once again, cat-napped your rat. He’s carrying her upstairs and disappears inside one of the windows. “Get her back!”

You knock against the window, calling for help. “I’ll get her back, monster.” Turning around to climb back down you huff. You can only hope the cat didn’t kill your rat.

“BARNES!” you harshly knock at your neighbor’s door. “Your cat cat-napped my rat again. Open the door! I’ll call the police. You’re hiding a rat-napper in your apartment!!!”

“Doll, what the—?” Bucky opens the door. He sleepily looks at you. He huffs and grumbles as you shove him aside to make your way inside his apartment. “Whoa, what are you doing?”

You turn around to look at the man defending his rat-napping cat. “Your cat kidnapped my rat again! This is—I dare that beast to hurt Chestnut!”

Bucky scratches his scruffy chin. He just woke up and is still in his pajama pants and a white wifebeater. His feet are bare, and he’s got his hair in a messy bun.

“Alpine?” Bucky walks toward the living room to look for his cat. “Punk where are—uh…fuck,” he huffs as Alpine lies on the couch, your rat on top of him. Chestnut is busy grooming his cat as the super-soldier stares at the scene with wide eyes.

“See! He kidnapped my rat again,” you mutter while pointing at Alpine and your rat. “He can’t just break into my apartment and cat-nap my rat! That’s against the law.”

“How’d my cat get inside your apartment?” Bucky dips his head to look at you standing next to him. “Doll?”

“UH-he sneaked into my open window. You should make sure that your cat won’t leave your apartment,” you purse your lips as Bucky just laughs it off. “I mean it, Sir!”

“Doll, my cat did not kidnap your rat. I bet that little rat enchanted my cat and lured him in,” your neighbor concludes.

“You’re a liar! Your cat cat-napped my rat!” you grunt. “I don’t want my Chestnut to get hurt.”

“If you don’t want my cat to sneak into your apartment, you shouldn’t leave your window open. You should never leave it open. Unattended. It’s dangerous for a woman. It is a dangerous world.”

“I’m a big girl and can take care of myself,” Bucky huffs as you walk toward his couch. Alpine hisses as you try to pick your rat up. “Leave me alone, cat. That’s my rat. Come here, Chestnut.”

You hold out your hand for your rat. Chestnut lifts its head and sniffs at your hand. Your rat looks up at you for a moment but turns their attention back toward Alpine to groom the cat.

“Can your rat stop grooming my cat? Maybe it got parasites or something,” he mutters as you try to convince your rat to come home with you. “See, it’s the rat manipulating my cat!” Bucky wildly gestures toward Chestnut on top of his cat. “She’s a cat enchanter.”

“Cat what?” you stare at Bucky in disbelief. “It wasn’t my rat kidnapping your cat. It was the other way around.”

“Lady, my cat is not a criminal mastermind,” he just won’t admit that his cat is a dangerous kidnapper.

“Chestnut, let’s go,” while your rat is having a blast grooming the cat, you sigh deeply. “I know you are missing your partner. I promise to find a new friend for you. Just not the cat.”

“Wait, she lost her friend,” Bucky furrows his brows as you sit on his sofa next to his cat. “What happened?”

“He got cancer and,” you sniffle, “there was no hope. He was so sick and in pain. I had to let the vet put Romeo down.”

“Romeo, huh?” Bucky’s voice softens as he watches you wipe a tear off your cheek. “A cute name. How long since your little rat is without her partner?”

“A few weeks. I’m trying to find a new friend for her,” he nods as you tell Bucky so far Chestnut didn’t like any of the rats you introduced to her.

“She’s a picky lady, huh,” Bucky grins at you. “How about she can come over to groom Alpine until you found a new rat? They seem to get along pretty well.”

“I thought you don’t like rats.”

“Alpine likes that furry beast so, I’ll make an acceptation for Chestnut,” he gives you a soft smile. “How about breakfast? I wanted to make eggs and toast. I think your little rat is busy snuggling with my cat for a little longer.”

“I got croissants and French Toast,” you offer. “Give me a minute and I’ll be right back.”

“Let me help you carry the food,” Bucky offers. “I can’t let you carry all the food. Alpine likes to carry Chestnut around too…”

“As long as you don’t want to carry me around all time,” you grin, “we are golden…”

Bucky nods. He looks you up and down, furrowing his brows. “We will see. Maybe after we got to know each other better…”

Tags in reblog.

[paradoxolotl]

i know it's basic but i need to know what was going through andrew's head when he hears that aaron asked neil to kiss him in the jeans fic (im so sorry i can't actually remember the complete name of the fic in my mind its saved as the gay jeans fic)

Specific Fic Asks

I absolutely can do this for you anon ~ for It’s in the Jeans

~

Andrew’s life could be boiled down to three points of orbit:

His brother, Aaron. A minor pain in the ass on any day of the week that ended in y. Also the person who Andrew had crawled through hell with to build some semblance of normalcy. So for him, Andrew kept his complaining to a minimum.

Secondly, the neighbourhood stray cat. Andrew called it Worm. He also fed it after school every day, crouched in the bushes breaking up bits of ham with the paranoia levels of a small rodent.

And then there was Neil Josten. A major pain in Andrew’s ass every moment of every day, who was probably more feral than any street cat could dream to be. He’d complain more, used to complain more, but Andrew had recently found a better use of his time.

Because Neil’s kisses were a mind numbing, bone buzzing, oh too sweet addiction. Nothing in Andrew’s life had ever been as viciously satisfying as having Neil beneath him, one hand tipping the menace’s head back for a better angle, the other ghosting fingertips across the sensitive skin of his stomach just to feel the muscles jump.

It was too easy to lose himself in this, in Neil. Minutes were meaningless, the world falling away, and Andrew found himself halfway drunk with just Neil’s mouth against the skin of his neck. Nothing on earth could pull him from this moment, his Eden. Nothing-

There was a clattering bang from Aaron’s room. Odd enough to rip Andrew from the haze clouding his mind. But when no other noises followed, no cries of distress, it only took his name, whispered quiet and reverent, to pull him back to Neil. The fingers on his jaw helped him along, until he was sinking sinking drowning.

“I tried!” This time, not even Neil’s breath on his neck or hands in Andrew’s hair could distract him from Aaron’s shout.

Annoyance flicked up within him, simmering in his blood. Whatever fucking melodramatic bullshit Aaron found himself floundering in could not be worth-

“I asked Neil to kiss me-”

The thing about Andrew was this: he didn’t care about much. Most things in his life were revolving time passers, some more pleasant than others. But when he found something that burrowed past everything else, something worth calling his, Andrew cared a whole damn lot. Some might call it obsessive, concerning, unhealthy. Bee called it a trauma response. Andrew called it practical, because those few things he cared about could be taken away too quickly, too easily.

And the thing about Neil was this: he was Aaron’s before he was Andrew’s.

Andrew’s hand slammed into the wall before he registered what his body was doing, the beat of his heart slamming from excited to pretending not to panic. An unfortunate event, due to snapping both Aaron and Nicky’s attention to him and his complete loss of composure. Part of him wanted to glance back, to see if he really had just abandoned Neil to throw himself into whatever fucking mess this was, but Andrew’s brain was still screaming WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK RED ALERT on full power.

He knew Nicky was saying something, the noises hitting his ears, but he couldn’t process them. Eyes locked on his twin, Andrew all but demanded, “What did you just say?”

By Aaron’s concerned confusion, Andrew had clearly missed the mark. “The fuck were you doing?”

Neil, he thought. But he couldn’t very well say that to Aaron, especially when Aaron wore the same expression he did when they had watched a man sprint from beneath a bridge and disappear into the woods when they were ten. Quickly righting himself, Andrew attempted to infuse his voice with his usual nonchalance. “Nothing,” he said. Completely fine, totally normal. Not weird at all. “What did you say about Neil?”

For a moment, Aaron narrowed his eyes at him. As if Aaron had ever been able to break Andrew with his judgement. But then he shrugged, and Andrew felt his stomach drop with the cocky smile that spread across his face. “Oh, just asked if I could kiss him. No big deal.” Smug. Smiling. Bastard. “Why?” Aaron asked. Like an asshole. “Did you need something?”

Yeah, Andrew needed the world to stop falling from beneath his feet. Because Neil was a prickly fucker, untrusting and vicious. He held his people just as tightly as Andrew held his. Andrew spent years studying him, falling hard and fast and lasting, but the one thing that remained elusive was why Neil had fallen for Andrew too.

And deep down, a small voice whispered that if anyone could catch Neil and take him from Andrew, it would be Aaron.

Only one person had ever been able to quiet that voice. What did Andrew need? He jerked a thumb over his shoulder, back to Neil. “Yeah. I just-“ Nope. Uh huh. Brain hadn’t reset yet. Abort. Abort, Minyard. “Need to-“ Phenomenal. His mouth just wouldn’t stop. Is this what Neil felt like?

Well, time to abandon ship.

He didn’t feel any steadier when the door closed behind him, but his eyes zeroed in on Neil. Still sprawled on his back on Andrew’s floor, he looked up with a crooked smile, laughter tucked into the corners.

“Oh, right,” he said softly, unapologetic. “Your brother asked to kiss me.”

Andrew swallowed. His throat clicked. His shoulders pressed harder against his door.

At the silence, Neil’s smile turned a little softer. “I said no.”

“You said no.” His voice remained flat, neutral in the way he always used when expecting something to hurt.

Sighing, Neil rocked his knee in the air. Not jittery. Not nervous, just…moving. “Because I didn’t want to.”

“I asked you,” Andrew said.

Neil hummed. “And I wanted to. Still do, if you ever decide I’m more interesting than your wall. Or I could leave and you can brood and mope or whatever people with on overgrown sense of doom and despair do.”

“Really?” Andrew asked, even as he pushed off the door, falling back on top of Neil and into his grin. “You’re not funny.”

“Never said I was,” Neil said, words a laugh.

Neil had always been a point of clarity. An impossible piece in Andrew’s life he could never stray from, despite his efforts in the beginning.

His hands found their home in Andrew’s hair, dimple flickering out alongside his mirth. Quietly, he said, “It’s just you, Andrew.”

And Andrew believed him, and let everything else fall away.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Okay I know I've sent a few asks for the cross guild but one more! This is the last one! (Lying through my teeth)

The image of Buggy being treated as a cat that got adopted - nay, a cat that got scooped up without warning and ended up very confused by the sudden change - is so funny to me.

I'm keeping his severed head on my lap and petting his hair like a cat (he's in seventh heaven and simultaneously trying not to get a nose bleed over my thighs or piss off one of the other two by seeming too smug)

Mihawk: we turn our back for five seconds and you manage to pick up a stray

Sir Corcodile: stray seems a bit generous, Swordsman. More of a mangy rodent, by my standards.

Reader: his shrill screams and autistic swagger have captivated me, heart and soul.

Buggy, in the distance: *pulls his shirt from his chest and sniffs it, makes a disgusted face, then shrugs and licks whatever the stain is*

Reader: *pupils dilating to the size of dinner plates* *dreamy sigh* I just want to wrap my tongue around his uvula, is that so much to ask?

Mihawk, disturbed: yes.

The idea of Reader being attracted to hyper competence and intimidating badassery, then simultaneously being the biggest morosexual is hilarious

Buggy: do you think centaurs file their own hooves? Or do they still get farriers to do it- hrrk

Reader: *reaching out and shoving one hand into Buggy's mouth, fingers pressing down on his tongue to grip his jaw and snatch him nose-to-nose with them* Naked. On the bed. Safeword is popcorn

Buggy: *muffled* do I have to wait two minutes to use it?

Reader: *already drafting up the marriage certificate* I am about to suck your soul out through your dick.

Ignoring the fact that I'm really honestly curious about the centaur thing now—

I already associate Buggy with a feral opossum so this is beyond beautiful.

Sincerely feel his flirting game is like:

But you find his awkwardness and social ineptitude appealing

And Crocodile and Mihawk being increasingly disturbed by the situation is just. Perfect.

Why are you so into the moron? And yet you're also into them? Do you consider them morons? Should they be offended?

To be fair though they're really not much better. Considering Mihawk was essentially a hermit for several years and his social interaction usually involved violence and murder for fun; and Crocodile puts himself on such a high pedestal that he sees everyone around him as inferior and doesn't bother doing anything to hide it.

They're really just three different flavors of socially inept blorbo. And I love them so much for it.

Also I most humbly ask permission to borrow the uvula line for something, it's wonderful and I cannot stop cackling over it 🙏🥲 If it's okay, I will give credit when I use it.

[fandom-imagination-ss]

Imagine: Clark over hears you gossiping over Superman at work 😳 ***warning Mature conversation********

it was painfully boring at work today. you did your Daily upbeat post for the mail. and the online accounts. you Specialized in Happy posts. it helped that you were suppose to Only write Happy posts. and uplifting things. on the website you posted three happy posts about a cat that is a Co manager at a home depot who works Very hard to make sure the place is rodent free and how the cat is no stranger to bribes. Another Post that you needed to get Special permission by Lois Lane who was the "Superman expert" to post.. which was just Superman was caught helping a kid get it's ball back when the kid kicked it up in a tree. and then how the Kid and Superman did a foot race to see who was faster. and Little Thomas Hilga was the fastes boy alive.

Lois has always been so Protective over whatever was said about Superman. in the beginning you didn't understand her need to protect the man of steel. But after discovering the truth of Who was Superman. it was clear why!

you use to babysit the twins when they lived in the city. and they went out for date night. Or they went on mini trips. So when they asked you come over to their farm for a week to watch the boys. since Jonathan was in trouble and they didn't feel comfortable to leave him alone. you happily agreed. and well- Clark flew back home to scream at Jordan for something he did. and you saw Clark.. Clark didn't even have a good excuse to why he was Flying.. But after sitting you down explaining who he was. the Only thing you could come up with was that you couldn't understand why he bothers with he's truck. he could just simply Fly everywhere.

that was months ago. and Now today, you messaged Clark asking for permission and he's Now ex Wife Lois. the week getaway was apparently their "fix your marriage "holiday which ended with Lois confessing she's hating Smallville, and she wanted to go back doing dangerous assignments.. and She has been doing more dangerous assignments, but she still was still incharge of Superman. Mainly for another year before she will decline writing for him. they didn't want to break it off. with superman and Lois right after the divioice so people didn't notice.

But Since work was doen for the day, or well you could probably search for more positivity posts to post other today or tomorrow but why overwork yourself? it was a Hot Friday afternoon, an Hour before you could leave. and it was so boring and quiet in the work room that no one was really working.

"My God looks at that ass!" you turned seeing your deskmate who worked beside you on her desk. was staring at a close up photo of Superman's Ass. on her screen. you laughed softly, "Why you looking at his ass?"

Cassandra didn't turn her face from the screen as she spoke, "I just want to bite it.. Lois is so lucky to have his rumpus ass to herself. Im sure he's happy that her and Clark broke up- if they ever stopped their. fun.. that is."

Rolling your e/c, you felt like they almost rolled out of your eyes socket with how badly you rolled them. ''Oh Please! Superman is a true gent... he wouldn't be hooking up with Lois on the side. while she was married." it helped that he wouldn't be a sidepiece. but she didn't need to know that as Cassandra scrolled the screen from his butt to up his frame to his face.

"you know- he probably has a super tongue." she grinned at that, Cassandra is the Core reason why the last several Hr meetings about work place conduct About he appropriate work chat.. and talking about if Superman had a "Super tongue" was Not work safe conversation.

you knew it.. you also Knew who Superman was. but you looked at Clark faces and were Stunned with How stupid the entire world is that we didn't recognized that the hotty in the office was Superman... who wasn't IN the office. right now.

"Clearly has Super attractiveness." Cassandra rolled her eyes, 'that isn't a superpower! but Super tongue is!"

you turned to her as you spoke, "Super Tongue isn't a Super power! what? does Superman Do with a Super tongue? Confuse the crooks with a tongue twister?"

"or give them the best orgasm with he's tongue"

you gasped covering your mouth as Cassandra leaned back on her chair probably imagining it. you couldn't lie.. the imagine popped in your mind of Superman doing that to you. No doubt in your mind.. Clark Was amazing in the bedroom. but of course you couldn't comment. you were litterally friends with Clark. and thinking of him in that way was. 1) incredibly inappropriate 2) made you feel uneasy Now talking about how amazing his technique is in the bedroom.3) friends dont' talk about how amazing you imagine Clark is in bed.

"you know-.. Im not in the mood for another sexual harassment meeting.. " you shifted away trying to retreat back to your computer. but Cassandra spoke, "God could you imagine oif he was Seflish and lazy in the sack? how disappointing.. probably does the Leo DiCaprio thing and just lays there."

"No way, I've seen walking a old lady across the street.. Superman is probably the sort who makes sure he's partner si completely satisficed before worrying about his own needs." you didn't mean to comment you Should of just nodded in agreement with Cassandra and changed the conversation to a dog you were going to post tomorrow. but you didn't think- it just came out. and Just as Clark walked in completely Stunned at your statement as you truned to Cassandra as you spoke, "So Im posting a dog video tomorrow. of a saint gently pulling his owner off the sofa and stealing the sofa for himself.. you want to see the video?"

"Nah- i hate your fluff pieces.. Hey.. after work- lets go othat new bar. and find you someone to completely satisfice you eever need." Cassandra was married, She doesn't touch but she does Love getting some guy to get her free drinks and trying to set you up. with some random guy for the night.

"as fun as a random hook up is- Call me old fashion but I rather sleep with someone i have a emotional attachment with."

Cassandra looked around the room seeing Clark was back at his desk as She spoke, 'well- Clark is free.. or Tony but trust me.. ive rode that horse before.. Not much to write about.."

"you do know- if the men talked like this.. so openly it woudl be us calling them fifthly Pigs.. and HR woudl be Up thier butts in a heartbeat."

"the advantage of sleepign with HR. . he knows if he gets me in troulbe at work. he gets None at home." you shook your head chuckling, "your horrible." she chuckled as she spoke, 'and yet I didn't hear you deny Clark."

you looked up at her as you spoke, 'he's my friend. I babysit his kids!!"

"you could make him a third.." you gasped saying whay as she laughed patting your back, "God your so easy!"

she let the conversation die after that. switcing to look at a photo of the new deputy mayor who was attractive. as you spent the next hour. Hoping Clark was too busy to listen into the conversation.. that he probably heard his name. and heard you both talking about him..

After work you packed to leave seeing Clkar was taking his time he rarely comes into the office. he picked up freelance gigs onc eLois left to help pay for the farm. you got up heading to the elevator saying Night to Clark as he walked over following you to the elevator "hey."

"hey" you said uneasy.. as he spoke, "why were you and Cassandra talking about superman sexual abilities?" your cheeks burned a deep red as Clark chuckled as you explaiend how it all happened as he spoke, "Super tongue isn't a real thing." you laughed saying thats what you said. as Clark leaned lower as he spoke, "those Lois did make comments that she thought it was.." your cheeks couldn't go any redder as Clark smiled seeing you.

he couldn't deny that since he broke up with Lois the Only women who caugh his attention was you. but he always figured you were off limits since you were you.. but listening to you and Cassandra chatting about Superman sexual abilities he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like with you. Clark has only ever been with Lois you snapped Clark out of his day dream of you and him as you spoke, 'can I still come over? or did that conversation completely gross you out?"

Clark smiled weakly, "No of course not, those surprised to hear you talking like that at work." you laughed covering your mouth, "Cassandra started it! I tried to shut it down!" you both lauhged as you spoke, "you mad at me for that?"

he shook his head, 'nah, it's okay honestly those. the boys will be out. you okay with just us?"

"yea of course.. I'll bring the beer?" Clark smile dsaying okay as the elevator door opened as you walked out. Clark realized at that moment that he needed you.. and he was falling for you. he's best friend.

[yanderepuck]

The Pets Favorite Foods

Jupiter: gives me berry vibes. Mainly blueberries but also blackberries

Schelm: baby loves fish. Owls eat a lot of small rodents, but he gets spoiled with pieces of fish

Lumiere: chicken is what he screams for the most but he also really loves turkey and also cheese??? But he will s team for anything

Brush: what won't this baby eat. He likes fruit because it's sweet but he will go cRAZY FOR PEANUT BUTTER. Hell stuck his whole head in a jar and lick it clean

King: Theo tries not to give him people food but he can't say no to begging puppy eyes. But he gives me vegetable vibes. They don't feed him kibble, he already eats fresh food as his normal meals, but I feel like he likes crunchy vegetables. Theo is confused.

Vic: eggs. Boy wants eggs. In the morning when breakfast is being made he gets his own egg for breakfast

Harry: he's munching on bugs all day on the floor. He keeps the mansion clean of bugs. But when Sebastian comes to give Isaac his food he puts a side of fruit or vegetables on his plate but that's Harry's snack. His REAL favorite seems to be watermelon.

Bunta: he will definitely go crazy for some bread but since it's not good for birds Dazai tries to limit that and treat him with sunflower seeds and some nuts. But he will swoop down and steal a bite of your bread if you're not careful.

Cherie: she already eats fresh meat daily, so to her normal cat food is a little treat and she'll gobble it down. But she loves pumpkins so in the fall Jean gets her a bunch.

Puck: apparently his favorite thing to chew on is that chair in the corner, but other than that it's definitely bananas and raspberries. Will gives him a little too many raspberries because of the mess it makes around his mouth.

Time: you're toes and anything Comte has. He tasted an apple once and now he goes crazy for them. Ferrets are also lactose intolerant so of course he will stick his head in a cup of yogurt.

Lottie: melons. Any kind of melons. She will DEVOUR IT.

Marshmallow: she will only eat the finest best quality meat there is...and mushrooms? Yeah. She found them in the garden and started eating them and now goes looking for them when she goes outside.

Mephie: she wants pasta. Give her pasta. Fusilli pasta is what Faust will give her the most but she demands different kinds of ravioli

Louis: he's so addicted to oranges that he's learned how to peel them himself

[shakertwelve]

I was very aware of people looking at us.  Crystal’s flight and landing had turned heads.  I knew objectively that they were looking at her, but even if I could logically put two and two together, my traitorous brain told me they were staring at me when their eyes pointed in my direction, and they were averting their eyes from me when they weren’t.

I saw a woman in a sundress walking her dog, and I thought of a quiet voice outlining some warnings.  No donating blood.  Avoid any sources of healing that aren’t her, because the wrong source of healing could awaken latent materials that were used to rebuild this body.  Stray dog.  Stray cat.  Rodents.

It made my stomach hurt.  A constant gnawing feeling, hollowing me out.  I was outside and active because I knew how easy it would be to do anything else.  I stayed standing because I was already standing.  I could keep from screaming because I hadn’t yet opened my mouth to scream.  I went through my day because I hadn’t stayed inside with a blanket pulled over my head.  I wore nice clothes because they were what I’d worn before, back when I’d either been Glory Girl or I’d been Victoria Dallon.  I met with Crystal because I hadn’t yet cut myself off from the world.

“It’s a wonderful day, isn’t it?” Crystal asked, looking skyward.

I looked up at the blue sky.  Summer heat beamed down on us, pulsing off of the concrete.  I could put together the individual pieces, and say it was warm without being sweltering, the sky was clear, the city smelled like fresh wood and car exhaust, and a strong wind blew clean through the city.  Clean like there were thick, rich forests just beyond the city boundaries, and the wind picked that up to refresh the city.

I could take all the individual pieces and I knew they were the sort of thing that added up to wonderful weather.  I felt aware of every set of eyes in the vicinity, pointed at me or otherwise, including Crystal’s one visible eye, which was looking skyward, her hair sweeping over the other side of her face.  Each one was a condemnation or penetrating stare.  Each one implied emotions I didn’t want to deal with.  I felt aware of the clothes against my skin, and how they hadn’t been washed enough times to lose the stiffness that came from being folded in a box or the trace chemicals after they were pumped out by a factory line.

I was aware of my body, and nothing felt exactly right.  Proportions, how my own body weight rested on different portions of my own body, head on neck, hip on thigh bone, leg pushing down against foot, foot inside a sandal that pushed into the earth.  I couldn’t escape the visceral notion of meat against bone, grinding, crushing, like stray animals had been ground and crushed together, turned into a scrambled egg slurry of proteins and fats that were then pulled together to make a monstrous body.  Reshaped again, hundreds of pounds of me pulled away and cast off, left behind to be devoured by scavengers.  Animal meat returning to the animals.

[heyitsburtburt]

Hey Burt! I like when the cards do that bouncing thing in Solitaire too. When I was little I loved watching my mom play and make the cards bounce. I mostly played games like Rodent’s Revenge, JezzBall, Chip’s Challenge and other free games that came with Windows back then. I wasn’t good at Chip’s Challenge and never finished it since it had 149 levels and got pretty hard. It looks like this:

Before this gets too long, if you don’t want scary games, I recently started playing a game called Little Kitty, Big City. It’s adorable and a lot of fun. You’re a kitty trying to get back to your apartment. You befriend animals, explore, wear cute hats and steal collect stuff along the way.

Wow, that was... really interesting flowerbarrel. Really. OK, it really was, but it kind of lacks meaning when you started pirating every game you own when you turned 14 (much to your parents chagrin, but that's a story for another time). Although that screenshot does seem familiar... maybe... IDK.

And also... OF COURSE I'M GONNA PLAY SCARY GAMES! I mean seriously, you really think that I'm not gonna try to play a scary game or two while I'm doing this. I mean take a look at all the famous youtubers that ever played games for the internet

Markerplier, Dream from Minecraft, William Shakespeare, that person on the corner between Main and Fourth. They all played really scary games and it's more entertaining to see people scared then it is to see people aggravated because they didn't read the game instructions and have to be forced to figure them out while people scream at them in the chat.

It's foolproof really. Plus, I think the Stanley Parable kinda falls into that whole scary game category. There's something very very wrong w/ that game. Seriously, it gives me the shivers...

Anyway, I'm not saying I'll be entertaining when scared anyway. If anything I'm probably just gonna be as boring as usual. Most definitely... really... I promise. But I will check out that cat game though.

How did you know I like cats!? Flowingbarrel, are you following me around or something? Leave me alone!

JK... maybe

[murfeelee]

Hello murfeel, I don't know if anyone ask you this before but what do you think about the news of sims 5 being planned by ea?

Hi! I see we're starting 2023 on a positive note, getting me triggered by EA's shenanigans! 🤣

Yeah, so far I've only commented briefly about TS5 in this post, when EA did that stupid Summit thing where they showed off how much they're trying to one-up Paralives. 🙄 OOoOoo~! They're bringing the color wheel back after swearing on a stack of bibles that CASt was the worst feature in TS3 and TS4 didn't need it and their wacka** LACK of customization was the FUTURE of gaming--zomg lemme get my wallet ready~~! 🤡

Like, EA, everyone knows you're good at Build/Buy mode and CAS--people don't call TS4 a DOLLHOUSE SIMULATOR for nothing. But where is the EFFING GAMEPLAY? I feel the same way about Paralives--I don't need to see anymore of their builds or Paras--I want to follow sims INSIDE their places of work and school (no more EFFING rabbitholes); and see how they act come rain, snow or shine; and I want pets aside from just cats & dogs and RODENTS EA. And different cultural representation, so it's not the same generic American suburban cookie-cutter crap all the time--give me simulated life of the islands, the tundras, the equator, the poles, the Nth/Est/Sth/Wst hemispheres, the cities, the farms, the jungles, the corporate ladder, off the grid--in fully fleshed out EXPANSIONS with living breathing WORLDS, not watered down Game Packs, for crying out loud. Do y'all even remember what Expansion Packs are, EA? If only every pack was given HALF the content and attention to detail that Seasons always gets! It's a sad state of affairs when the best pack y'all ever released was for VAMPIRES. 🤦‍♀️

I get stomach ulcers every time I hear about how people spent over a THOUSAND DOLLARS on TS4 and are clamoring for the torture to be over already so TS5 can hurry up and screw them over instead. The biggest complaint simmers have been screaming at EA about is how dang BORING TS4 is, because

the game is too easy, and people have to cheat to make the game HARDER wtf

the game is too buggy and none of the fancy "features" effing WORK, releasing ENTIRE PACKS BROKEN, with patches that make everything worse

the features TS4 does have that actually work are shallow AF and a lot of them are repetitive/redundant or they don't carry over to other EPs/GPs/SPs to make the gameplay deeper and richer you had one job EA

TS4's worlds are too small and we don't even have CAW, but EA promised us that smaller non-open worlds with no CASt and no Story Progression would make TS4 run so much smoother than TS3--gosh golly, now if only my save would stop laaaaaaagging 😩

where are the skills where are the careers where are the hobbies other than streaming/blogging where are the NPCs where ar--

the sims' emotions & action queues are out of control, but the EMOTIONS were the MAIN thing the dev's pitched when TS4 was announced over a decade ago; why are my sims acting like crack heads when you said they'd be so much smarter?

the kids are totally ignored, where the teens are basically young adults with curfews--but zoinks! they're finally going to update the bassinet-babies after TEN YEARS so the legacy players can actually PLAY WITH LIFE and interact with babies! Maybe if we're lucky, they'll patch in some frikkin preteens so the life states in a life simulation game actually make sense!

the alpha vs maxis match saga continues

Look at everything Sims Freeplay has--it's monetized to hell and back, but at least they have COOL stuff! WHERE IS IT in TS4? Will that stuff be in basegame TS5???? EVER? Or will EA just keep showing us how many throw pillows we can rotate on couches in rooms full of clutter that aren't even interactive objects? 🙃 Paralives has Paras ziplining off of rooftops into their pool--will basegame TS5 even launch with pools and swimmable water, or will that feature be locked off behind another lukewarm paywalled EP where you can only ever swim in ONE (1) world? 🏝 And now that EA making basegame TS4 free to play, they have carte blanche to microtransaction people to death with useless Kits full of DECOR and mess in TS5, too, huzzah!

And they keep bringing up MULTIPLAYER--THEY BETTER NOT. 💀

GOD, I hope the TS4 simmers go off on EA and tell them that TS5 CANNOT be TS4 2.0. Don't have EA walking around thinking TS4 was the right way to do life simulation gaming. TS4's enormous player base means diddly squat if people don't play the game to PLAY the GAME, only using it as the base for their Blender renders -- quantity does NOT equal quality, EA!

I'm not even staying on top of TS5 news anymore, listening to Lindsay Pearson lie to my frikkin face; promising me the moon only to have it turn out to be made of government cheese. The proof is gonna be in the pudding once the game actually LAUNCHES in a zillion years; I refuse to get hyped.

But I am PRAYING EA does TS5 right. Or at least that they make something better than TS4--it's a low bar, I know, but baby steps. Believe it or not, but I'd actually like to play a sims game that isn't TS3 sometime this decade. 🙏 TS4 had so many red flags; everyone knew it was a mobile game port, we're not THAT dumb, EA. Plus, TS4 was just too effing ugly for me. I hate the cartoony playdough look, and the lack of CASt and customization was an IMMEDIATE dealbreaker; so at least EA learned ONE lesson in all this time. *slow claps* Now we just have to see what they'll do about the actual GAME, the part that MATTERS.

Lemme stop, before I pop a blood vessel.

Wake me up when TS5 has more gameplay than Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley.

[semi-sketchy]

Do any of your Paw Patrol OCs like other animals? Or are they kind of in that "dogs only"/"dogs are superior" type of mindset?

Of course! It's kinda hard not to like any critters.

Rita obviously LOVES animals, actually to a fault. I can very much so imagine her just walking up to a bear like "oh hi, fluffy friend" while Nami is screaming in the background.

Nami: Oh fuck that, I ain’t going near that thing. Rita walks over to it Nami: Oi, Pearls! What do you think you’re doing?! Get back here! Chase: Rita! Rita just casually walks up to the bear, which roars at her, but she is completely unfazed. Rita: It’s okay, he’s a nice bear! Nami: A nice bear…? Rita: Mhm! Nami: You’ve got to be joking.

Of course, she and Liberty mostly deal with lost or abandoned domesticated animals, but her favorites to bring back are rodents like mice and gerbils! poor Rita can't always tell a pet mouse from a wild one, much to Katie's dismay

Nami also likes animals, too! Although she's not quite as enthusiastic as Rita is, she is the expert on them for a reason. Playing and learning about them made up a lot of her childhood, she's the only one on the team that is actually capable of catching a squirrel (as in like, tag. The squirrels know she's playing.)

Tara would probably be the least interested out of my main OCs. She doesn't have anything against them, but she doesn't get Rita or Nami's fascination and certainly doesn't understand why someone would call a rat "cute". She's mildly disgusted by some like mice, but the sight of one doesn't frighten or keep her from doing her job. She's fine with more traditionally cute animals, but again, just not super into them.

As for Byte...yeah he values canine and human connection over other animals, but he likes cute and fluffy critters. He'd adore that time Skye had a bunny or Hootie with Chase. That said, he wouldn't be disgusted by a frog or mouse or anything, he's pretty easygoing, just has his preference.

Also I've had this Byte and Wild inspo image sitting in my redraw folder for like 3 years I still haven't watched the episodes but I KNOW he'd love the cat pack