#scooped bagels on top

[nicolettecallednikki]

Did you ever wake up late (didn't set an alarm), go to church, eat a bagel, watch the best F1 race of the season, finish your school work ahead of schedule, then watch old movies in your pajamas all day? Because 10/10 recommend. Ended with a scoop of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked 😌

[bellyasks]

menu for a restaurant that specializes in overstuffing its customers (aka a silly prompt list)

Ask your server about dietary accommodations. Each meal is made to order, substitutions and alternative ingredients are available! All meats may be replaced with plant-based alternatives upon request. (And pick a meal to feed your favorite character--if they can finish it, they get one dessert on the house!)

Breakfast (all orders come with a side of home fries, fresh fruit, or your choice of meat)

Full Stack of Pancakes - Emphasis on "full." Lucky seven big fluffy pancakes, each with a different additive of your choice.

Big Ol' Bagel - A hefty bagel the size of your plate, toasted to order and topped with whatever you'd like.

Ostrich Egg Omelette - Okay, not really, but this omelette is made with two dozen eggs--the equivalent of one ostrich egg--and filled with your choice of meat and veggies.

Loaf of French Toast - A dozen thick slices of French toast topped with whipped cream and fresh berries.

Plus Size Pork Roll - A classic pork roll egg & cheese on our signature giant bagel.

Lunch (all orders come with a side of chips or fries)

Peanut Butter & Jelly Belly - The biggest PB&J you've ever seen, slathered generously on a buttery toasted baguette.

Quadruple Decker Club Sandwich - Your choice of meat with mayo, lettuce, tomato, and bacon, heaped on between four slices of bread.

Piece-A Pizza - This slice is equivalent in size to an entire large pizza and covered with your choice of toppings. Perfect for people who are lying to themselves when they say they'll just have one piece.

Double Footlong - Two feet of classic Italian hoagie on a fresh-baked roll.

Stomach Stretcher - They say eating a head of lettuce is a great way to stretch your stomach out, and that's exactly what this giant salad will do. We bring you the lettuce, you take it to the salad bar and add the rest.

Dinner (all orders come with a side of rice, fries, baked or mashed potato, or a fresh vegetable medley unless marked *)

Sushi Bloat Boat - A sushi boat big enough for a full table, pricey to share but free for any one person who manages to finish it alone.

Box of Pasta - A full 16oz box of pasta (your choice of spaghetti, penne, or linguine) tossed in Alfredo, marinara, or a white wine sauce. Add your choice of meat for an extra $2.

Full Size Fish & Chips* - An entire 10-20lb cod (ask your server about choosing a fish) cleaned, battered, fried, and served with steak fries.

The Whole Farm* - A barbecue variety platter. Pulled pork, brisket, ribs, and chicken breast slathered in our signature sauce, with an ear of corn, baked beans, and coleslaw on the side.

Raised Steak - A 48oz grilled ribeye. Also available as an equivalent weight of seasoned and grilled portobello mushrooms.

Dessert

Paint Can - A creamy and colorful milkshake served in a one gallon paint can. See the ice cream counter for today's available flavors.

Loaf of Bread Pudding - Warm bread pudding made with an entire loaf of bread, topped with an optional scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Root Beer Bloat - A classic float with your choice of ice cream. The twist is that this dessert holds two liters of root beer and a portion of ice cream to match.

Burp-day Cake - A seven-layer slice of chocolate cake guaranteed to be the size of your head or it's free, topped with a thick crust of fizzy Pop Rocks.

Gobbler Cobbler - A pie-sized dish of peach, blueberry, or apple cobbler, topped with three optional scoops of vanilla ice cream.

[callsign-peach]

the beanery

summary: jake goes from drinking the base’s stale coffee to bringing in cups from the cafe down the road from the hard deck, and the dagger squad is determined to find out why

pairing: established hangman x female!reader

a/n: the title? has almost nothing to do w the plot, but it’s the name of the coffee shop!!

--- Javy was the first to notice, but it was only because he had gone with Jake to your coffee shop a couple of weeks ago. He had been talking to his best friend about some plans for the newest aviators, and didn’t realize Jake had an end location in mind.

“What’s that?” Bradley asked, eyes honing in on the white take-out cup that Jake was sipping from.

“Hm?” The blonde asked, pocketing his phone and looking at his wingman. “Oh, just some coffee from that new place.”

Javy took a swig of his own Thermos to hide his smirk.

“Oh? The one near the Hard Deck? Penny said the owner’s been in a few times to ask about some tax shit.”

Jake nodded absentmindedly, he already knew this information. “Yeah, they’ve got some good stuff.”

He met Javy’s knowing eye and sent him a look, and Javy was thankful looks couldn’t kill.

Before anyone else could get a word in, Pete entered the room alongside a dozen newly-adorned Top Gun students, raring to go up in the air.

--- You heard the belle chime on the door, calling out to the patron that you’d be a moment. 

Slicing the now-empty cardboard box, you slid it between the wall and the trashcan, hoping you’d remember to take it out to the dumpster before trash day. 

Walking out into the bar, you smiled when you saw your boyfriend leaning along one of the columns in the seating area. “Hey, J. How was your day?”

“Good, you?” Jake asked, thanking you as you handed him a toasted bagel with strawberry cream cheese. You almost keeled over when you found out your boyfriend’s go-to pastry at the cafe was a plain bagel, losing it when he spread pink cream cheese over it.

“I can’t believe you go for those bagels over my croissants!” You laughed, taking a sip from the iced coffee you made yourself about half an hour ago.

“Oh, what’s that? New syrup? Sauce? Lemme try.” Jake reached over for the clear plastic cup, puckering his lips over the straw. “Oh, babe, I don’t know about that one.”

Laughing, you nodded over to the dainty chalkboard wall with the featured drink. “Raspberry vanilla iced latte. You don’t like raspberries.” 

Jake hummed, face falling when his phone chirped from his pocket. “Damn, duty calls.”

Duty referred to drinks at the Hard Deck, a weekly tradition the dagger squad kept up once they were stationed at Miramar for good.

“Don’t know why you don’t just offer to have drinks here sometime. I can make espresso martinis or whatever shit Javy’s trying to make at our place.” 

Jake chewed the thought over, pulling his lip between his teeth. “Soon, I just like having my little secret barista girlfriend.” 

Scoffing, you playfully slapped your boyfriend’s chest. “Barista? I’m a full-fledged business owner, Seresin! Get it right!”

Jake laughed, pressing a kiss to your temple with a promise to be home before midnight. --- Stopping the timer on her watch, Natasha stepped into the cool air of the newest cafe in MIramar after her morning run, thankful for the air conditioning. 

“Good morning! Welcome to The Beanery, can I get anything started for you?”

Looking at the woman behind the counter, Natasha felt like she’d seen the woman somewhere before. “Oh, um, sure. Iced coffee, no creamer.”

“Any flavors?” You asked, scooping ice into the branded cup.

“Caramel?” Natasha smiled, and you laughed and pumped some caramel syrup into her cup.

“Oh, this is so much better than the base coffee!” Natasha smiled, depositing her change into the tips jar. 

“Base? You’re in the Navy?” You asked, setting some mugs out on the counter. 

Sure am. Naval aviator, originally was only here for a quick mission a couple years ago, but I guess they thought we were good enough to stick around.”

You smiled, setting the drying towel on the counter as the bell chimed for another customer coming in. “My boyfriend’s in the Navy, I’ll have to ask if he knows you.”

“Who knows! Thanks again for the coffee!” Natasha smiled as she left, taking her time walking back to her apartment and changing into her khakis.  --- “You, too?! Man, everyone’s getting coffee at the new place!” Mickey spoke as Natasha finished off her iced coffee.

Jake looked up from where he was texting you about the chocolate pastries you were experimenting with selling. 

He saw the plastic cup he had helped unpack the weekend prior, curious if his colleague had met you or one of your employees. 

“Yeah, it’s really good, and the food looked so good! I might go after work again to grab another drink.”

“Oh, I’m coming with. I need to try this coffee if you and Bagman say it’s good!” Bradley added, tossing a ball of paper at the blond man’s head.

Soon enough, the entire dagger squad was planning a short jaunt over to your coffee shop, Jake included. --- The bell chimed and took you from your thoughts, thankful for the distraction from the pastries you were trying to laminate.

“Welcome to the Bean- oh. Back so soon?” You asked, smiling as you saw Natasha walk back in, flanked by some other Navy men. “And you brought friends? Man, my confidence is sky-high right now.” 

Natasha laughed, though she missed the teasing look you gave your boyfriend as he walked in. “Sorry, I just can’t enjoy anything. These rats always have to tag along.” 

You snorted, starting on Jake’s drink absentmindedly. “What can I get you guys?”

The aviators all ordered, but when it was Jake’s turn to speak up, you smirked. “What can I get for you, Lieutenant Seresin?” 

Jake smiled, wanting nothing more than to swipe the flour off of your cheek. “Iced macchiato, extra caramel.”

“You know what a macchiato is, right? You bitch about me pouring any milk in my coffee, they’re like 90% milk!” 

You laughed as Bradley pointed to the cup, exasperated.

“Shut up, Birdbrain.”

Silently setting all the drinks at the end of the bar, you slid Javy one of the oatmeal cookies you made earlier. “Since I was out of them last week.”

“Thanks, but you know I was just going to grab some next time I was at your and Jake’s place.”

Shrugging, you watched as Bob seemed to put the dots together, silently sipping his Americano with a knowing look.

“Okay, this is going to sound really weird, but do you know anyone on base? I swear I’ve seen you before!” Natasha said, curiosity getting the best of her. 

You smiled, twinkle in your eyes. “My boyfriend’s an aviator, maybe you’ve seen me around with him? I don’t know, though. I just moved out here recently.”

Javy coughed into his coffee, trying to disguise his laugh. 

“Who’s your boyfriend?” Rueben asked, curious.

Smile growing wider, you simply nodded towards Jake. “Jake.”

“What the fuck?” Bradley asked, jaw falling open. 

Natasha and the rest of the aviator, sans Bob and Javy, all stared at the two, heads swiveling to look at the couple. “In your locker! There’s a photo of her in there, that’s where I’ve seen you before!” 

“You keep a photo of me in your locker? Cute.” You teased, coming out from behind the bar to stand with your boyfriend’s friends.

Jake blushed, offering you a sip of his coffee. “All right, all right, yes, everyone meet my girlfriend.”

You smiled, officially introducing yourself, promising to catch up more with the aviators after you heard the alarm going off for the croissants in the back oven.

“Damn, Hangman, you did good.” Rueben clapped his friend on the back. 

“Yeah, I did.” --- a/n: i like this couple idea a lot but i cannot write it i have too many thoughts going through my head so def expect more !!!!!! send requests, chat to me about this trope at literally any time !!!

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desire Ch 8

Emily Prentiss x reader warnings: language, alcohol, smut, rougher sex (ish), minor breeding kink. ngl it almost feels like a bit of a filler chapter, but it reunites what bits i had combined previously to make full chapters. Also sometimes filler is needed, I needed something else in there to break things up and that's why i kept staring at the word doc having NO clue what i wanted to do. SO, hopefully it doesn't take two weeks til the next update. lol. thank you for reading, extra bonus love to everyone who comments, sends asks and reblogs! you're the best!

After a lavish breakfast of stuffed French toast, all the delicious sides you could ask for and the best tasting coffee you’d had in ages you figured you should take advantage of the fancy shower once more. You took your time, scrubbing your skin with exfoliant before washing with a rose scented body wash and combing through your hair with a leave in conditioner. Wrapping yourself in one of the fuzzy robes you added in some hair treatment, doing your best job of braiding your still damp locks to air dry while sipping on a second cup of coffee. Finally it was check out time so you collected your things and headed downstairs, the Sunday morning air was the perfect balance of crisp while warm, the breeze floating through the streets spreading the sense of summer on the way.

You weren’t totally surprised when you found a bouquet of flowers on your front step, a note from Emily in the florists font scrawled across the front. Scooping it up you took it inside, kicking off your shoes and dropping your purse to the kitchen island before unwrapping the flowers. Picking a vase from the cabinet you filled it with some water and placed the bouquet inside, placing them on the coffee table to display. You dug through your bag for your phone, finally finding it and opening the text chain with Emily.

‘The flowers are gorgeous, thank you.’

‘You’re such a good girl I figured you deserved a little treat.’

‘It’s much appreciated.’

‘Speaking of… your upcoming events, do you need anything for them?’

‘I’m picking up a couple of dresses from alterations this week, haven’t looked through my accessories though.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind.’

‘Thank you. Enjoy New York, eat a bagel or a slice of pizza for me.’

‘Oh now that’s just a guarantee’

You chuckled as you locked your phone, sliding it back onto the island before you turned back to the fridge, eyes flicking through what was left and still usable for you to meal prep a bit for the upcoming week.

Said upcoming week flew by faster than you’d expected, likely due to all of the added on extra tasks you had to complete by six p.m. on Friday. Even with the slew of assistants strewn through Heather’s team, everything had to be perfect, double or triple checked, approved by Heather or yourself before appointments were confirmed, meetings were booked, or things were publicized or printed. You often wondered if it was actually financially worth having your own personal assistant considering the amount of things you either did yourself or had to be redone. (Not that it really mattered to you, they weren’t on your payroll).

Friday’s banquet wasn’t much for you to worry about, just made sure you were dressed the part and were ready when the car rolled up to your condo. Dinner was over and cocktails were in full swing, time for schmoozing, networking and making sure that everyone went home remembering the Dunbar name and philosophy. You’d stepped outside briefly after dinner, chatting with a congressman while he had a cigar and gave you the opportunity to stretch your legs. Walking back inside you found a high top table to settle against, pulling out your work phone to read a handful of emails.

“You know, you are allowed to put that thing away, right?” Heather teased, sliding a glass of Cristal across the table to you and you rolled your eyes, locking the device.

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew I was confirming some very affluent last minute sponsors for tomorrow.” You took a sip of the champagne, thinking back to your conversation on the terrace “and you’re welcome, Blythe will be voting in favour next week.”

“Good girl.” She grinned, clinking her glass with yours before her eyes drifted to the bracelet around your wrist. Her gaze lingered for a moment then moved upward and she reached out, lifting your earring with a curled finger before her eyes dropped to the gem resting on the swell of your chest. “Matching set?”

“Mmhm.” You nodded over a sip of your drink.

“Haven’t seen it before.”

“It’s new.” You replied, a small smirk on the corner of your mouth.

“Looks expensive.”

“If you’re trying to suggest it’s out of my budget, you’d be correct.”

“It’s nice to see Emily has good taste.”

“Among other things.” There was a gleam in your eye that Heather was eager to find out more about, a smirk on her lips as she took another sip of her drink.

“Glad to hear.” Was all she had time to reply with when another body sauntered up to your table.

“Not surprised to see you two here.” Tony greeted with a wide smile, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek before he reached out a hand, “Ms. Dunbar.”

“You know, I am surprised to see you here.”

“Drew the short straw.” He shrugged, “director had something come up, Gibbs would rather be caught dead than at one of these things and McGee doesn’t know his Dolce from American Eagle.”

“What about that other Agent you have right now, the little feisty one?” Heather asked, sly smile on her lips as Tony chuckled, scratching at the back of his neck in an attempt to distract from the blush creeping up his cheeks.

“Ziva? These aren’t really her style; she wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“I mean you could’ve at least brought her as a date, shown her the ropes so she knows for next time.” You offered, nudging at his shoulder and he let out another little huff.

“Oh, no, I mean, she’d hate that. She’d spend half the night flirting her way through the crowd and the other half having to convince everyone we weren’t actually together.”

“So she’s available?” Heather asked with a teasing smirk, pulling an awkward laugh from Tony.

“I— uh, well…” He stuttered, “maybe a little too… controlling… to be your style.” He suddenly leant against the table with his elbow, “but you know McGee does have a sister…”

“Do tell.” Heather grinned over the rim of her glass, pulling an eye roll from you.

“No!” You punched Tony’s arm before swatting in Heather’s direction. “Your dance card is already full,” you turned to Tony, “and she is way too young.”

“From what I heard, that’s how she likes it.” He muttered and you rolled your eyes as Heather chuckled.

“Age is just a number.”

“She graduated high school last year. That puts her younger than your kids.” You retorted, watching the way Heather’s nose crinkled before she laughed, happy to have found some amount of amusement from a night like tonight.

She let out a soft sigh as her eyes fixated on something across the room, “there’s Conway, looks like my time is now.” She turned back to you, “Durant may need some more convincing and I haven’t seen Sharp yet.”

“Please, all I need to do is bat my eyelashes in Jackie’s general direction and she’ll do whatever I want.”

“That’s why I keep you around.” With a smile and a nod to DiNozzo, she scooped up her champagne flute and made her way across the ballroom.

“Was… she serious?” He asked hesitantly and you laughed.

“No!” You took another gulp of your drink, “besides, like I said, her schedule’s full, she can’t take on more right now.”

“Speaking of schedules.” He grinned, waggling his eyebrows at you, “I’m surprised to see you here on a weekend, thought those were for secret romps and exchanges of sugar.”

“You know, sometimes I wonder just how suave of a man you could be if you just let your brain think things through before they came out of your mouth.”

“Stop.” He groaned, leaning against the table as he turned to you, “or are you just saving your hot date for tomorrow night?”

“This week didn’t line up, I’ve got that fundraiser all weekend, which, you should bring your team to make it a little family outing.”

“I’ll think about it.” He took a swig of his beer, “really puts a wrench in your plans then, I can already tell you’re getting grumpy.”

“Anthony…” you warned, “we met up last weekend. It was kind of last minute but we made use of the time we had.”

“So no hot dates during the week?”

“Not usually, but we’re both busy, plus she was in New York all week at conferences.”

“A rich woman, who travels for work,” he began to tick them off on his fingers, “outranks NCIS, has significant style tastes, works full time during the week and sometimes weekends… are you sure you aren’t dating a politician.”

“I—” you paused, head tilting for a second before you nodded, “yes. Government employed but not by the White House.”

“Isn’t everyone technically government employed?”

“And we’re not dating, I thought you of all people would understand the stipulations of a financial beneficiary pairing.”

“Oh yeah, and what’s that?” He asked, eyes gleaming.

“She buys me nice things, pays for my hair or nail appointments, adds to my jewellery collection, makes sure my fridge is always full, sends fresh flowers weekly.” You spotted one of the people Heather wanted you to talk to on the other side of the room and drained your drink, “and in return I meet up with her at high end hotels on the weekends and let her fuck my brains out.”

Even though Tony had been expecting it, your brashness still left him choking on his beer as you smirked at him, picking up your empty glass to grab a refill from the bar and one for Durant.

**

Seven days later and fucking your brains out was exactly what Emily was doing.

It had been less than an hour and if she’d asked you about dinner, you wouldn’t have been able to remember a single thing. All you could think about was the feeling of her buried inside you, hitting deeper with each powerful thrust of her hips. Your hands clawed at the bedspread, eyes scrunched shut as your cunt pulsed around the toy, moans louder with each time she sunk into you. Her hands tightly gripped your hips, hard enough you were sure there would be fingerprint shaped bruises come morning. You let out a little whimper, your nipples rubbing against the duvet every time she fucked into you, the multiple sensations driving you absolutely wild.

“More…” you groaned out, a gasp leaving your lips when she spanked you.

“God you really do like it rough, don’t you?”

“Mmhmm.” You managed to nod, fire shooting through your body, your clit throbbing as you ground it down onto the bed.

“Gonna need you to come soon princess.” She dropped over your body, husking into your ear while one hand tangled into your hair, yanking at the roots and you let out a blissful cry. Her mouth latched onto your neck, teeth scraping the sensitive skin as her free had wound around your middle, fingers pinching at your clit.

“Fuck!” You cried out, “oh fuu-cck. Don’t stop!”

Your teeth sunk into your lower lip, holding back any louder moans, whimpers and whines bouncing off the walls along with the wet sounds coming from your pussy. Your juices coated Emily’s cock, smearing across both of your thighs, more than enough for her to gather up as she rubbed your clit. She could feel you trembling in her arms, your hips bucking back against hers as you started to lose control.

“That’s it baby, you’re so close. Come for me.” She nipped at your earlobe, her breath hot on your skin right as she pressed harder on your clit and you were coming undone in her arms, a shaky cry coming from deep in your throat.

“Oh fuck…” you muttered, collapsing down onto the bed while she continued to fuck you through your orgasm, her hips slowing just a hint.

“So good for me.” She panted, “where do you want my cum? In that pretty mouth? Hmm? Or maybe on this gorgeous ass?” A breathy gasp left your lips when she spanked you again and you moaned, pussy fluttering around her cock as you were coming up on a second orgasm.

“Inside me!” You whined, “please!”

“She likes it rough and she’s dirty?” Emily chuckled, “we’ve got a lot more to explore.”

She watched as your body shivered, thighs clenching together and your hands bunched tightly into fists as your second peak washed over you and then she let out a groan, stilling with her hips right against yours. Her hand quickly found the base of the toy, squeezing hard and you let out a satisfied moan at the feeling of her spilling deep inside you. Emily’s hand soothed up and down your back, watching as you caught your breath before she pulled the toy almost all of the way out of your pussy. She let out a low swear at the sight of it coated in a mixture of your cum and the lube before slowly nudging it back into you, fucking her cum deeper into your drenched cunt. You trembled again, a sheen of goosebumps breaking out on your skin and she finally pulled out of you, skilfully ridding herself of the strap to be dealt with later.

“Christ…” you muttered, your head burying itself into the pillows and Emily let out a small chuckle as she dropped down onto the bed beside you.

“Seems like you’re a little fucked senseless?” She offered and you let out a small laugh, your eyes barely blinking open to look over at her.

“Not to deflate your ego,” you let out a large yawn, “because you certainly did, but I am also just completely fucking wiped. I barely slept all week. Between Heather’s bill proposals and the upcoming endorsements I’ve been working twenty hour days.” Emily snuck under the blankets, an arm draping over the top of the pillows and you practically nuzzled into her side, yawning again as your eyes fluttered shut.

“Hey!” She swatted at your side, “none of that, you need to use the bathroom.”

“C’mon…” you whined, burrowing yourself deeper into the blankets and Emily tsk’d at you, pinching your chin until you opened your eyes.

“If you want me to come inside you again you’re going to use the bathroom missy.”

“Fine.” You grumbled, shivering as you pushed back the blankets and padded to the en-suite, much to Emily’s satisfaction. You returned a few minutes later, make up wiped from your face and teeth brushed, climbing back into the bed as you let out another yawn, curling around Emily’s side. “Are you staying?”

She shrugged, “got nowhere else to be. You mind if I keep the tv on?”

“Not at all. I’ll probably be dead to the world anyways.”

She chuckled softly, feeling you relax against her body as she started to flick through the channels. It wasn’t that late and while her week had been long it clearly hadn’t been as taxing as yours was. You were asleep within minutes, softly snoring against her and she made a mental note to start sending you good night texts in an attempt to make sure you were getting enough rest.

__________________

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[luveline]

Hi Jade! I wanted to request something with Prince Steve and his soulmate. I feel like we’ve started to see them warm up to each other but maybe we could see reader start to meet Steve’s friends and see that she’s got more people standing behind her? Like maybe Robin and Eddie teasing Steve about something embarrassing in front of her or I know she hasn’t shown up yet but I could totally see Nancy as like a lady in waiting/tutor to teach her all about proper manners but in the process she spills all these stories about Steve growing up?

thank you for requesting ♡ prince steve au fem, 1k

A knock at the door, an impatient huff. "Are you ready yet?" 

"Come in, Steve." 

He wedges into your rooms, a basket in his hands. "Why are you on the floor?" 

"Can't tie my stupid shoes," you complain, dropping your hands down, knee pulled up, too warm for all the fuss. 

Steve nearly drops the basket, he's that enthusiastic to help you out. He kneels by your feet and takes the laces of your shoes into his hands, pulling them tight, his eyebrows pinched tighter. "That okay?" he asks, pausing his loop. 

"Yeah. Thank you." 

"They didn't teach you how to tie your shoes back home? We need outreach immediately." 

You laugh and lay back on the plush rug behind you. "It's the weird eyelets. You royals do everything weird. Like picnicking." 

"So many points. These aren't eyelets, they're lace hooks. You're pretty much as royal as I am, or you will be in a matter of days. And," —he finishes tying your boot, pulling the other toward him with a small laugh— "Robin wanted a picnic. She's not royal. None of your points make any sense." 

"You'll be a wretched husband." 

Steve takes your hands and pulls you up into a sitting position. He doesn't let them go, transferring both into one so he has a hand free to straighten up your cardigan. "And you'll be a cherished wife." 

Steve pulls you onto your feet. Together, you walk through the selenite halls of the palace to the prince's private gardens, where a gazebo the colour of the sky stands shading refreshments from the eager sun. Helping themselves to the hors d'oeuvres are a tall Eddie and a shorter partner in crime, Robin. Nancy lays out in the grass next to who you assume to be her boyfriend, a handsome guy with two books in his hands, still closed. He squints in the sun, waving as you and Steve approach. 

"Hey!" he greets. "You're late."

"Don't get up," Steve jokes, waving back at him and Nancy, who's barely lifted her head. "Not like I'm anyone important." 

"Very, very hard to find you important when you're wearing shorts," Eddie says. 

Steve shrugs. "She likes them." 

You realise belatedly and with horror that you're she. How does he know you like his nice shorts? Either way, his indifference so long as you like them makes you flush, leaving his side in search of a cold drink to drown yourself in.

"Did you bring the bat?" Steve asks Jonathan behind you. 

"Hey, babe," Eddie says, offering you a glass cup set with pressed flowers in the sides, "you okay?" 

"Is that lemonade?" you ask, pointing at one of the small water dispensers. Their glass shells shine with condensation, more ice cubes than liquid inside. It's a cloudy white with blood orange slices cut and garnishing the top, their juice seeping downward slowly. 

"Sure is. Prince Stevie's favourite, as always. Don't know where the sudden love for oranges came from, do you?" 

You've had a love for them since you got here and tried them for the first time. Oranges are expensive, and so the palace kitchen has them in abundance. Steve clearly noticed. "Wouldn't you know?" you ask. "Don't you choose his meals?" 

"As if. I'm a glorified cleaning boy," Eddie says. He scoops a bagel covered in cream cheese and fresh cut salmon from a silver tray and takes a big bite. "Just stick around for the food." 

"They won't let him back into the engineers workshop on account of his bad manners, he'll be a dishwasher forever," Robin says grandly, rounding the table to stand on your other side. 

"Says you, lady's maid." 

Robin was supposed to be a lady's maid. Sick gig, good pay, she had all the grades and none of the decorum, but Steve wouldn't let them get rid of her, and after an intense training program that taught her to wield a titanium blade longer than her arm as an extension of it, she was instated as his personal guard instead. They're all job hoppers —Nancy started as a lady's maid but now apprentices as a royal tutor, and her boyfriend worked for the palace's news room but now works under the sous chef. 

You did anything you could to stay alive, and now your full time job is princess, so. You're not judging. 

"What's Nancy's boyfriends name?" you whisper. "Jon?" 

"Jonathan. I don't think anybody calls him Jon," Robin whispers back. 

"She's lying. His name is Gordon." Eddie glares at Robin. "She's trying to trip you up." 

A smack erupts through the air, chased by Steve's pleased whoop. "Yes! Baby, did you see that?" 

"I'm not trying to trip you up," Robin says, "don't listen." 

"She totally is." 

"Baby?" Steve calls, yards away in the bluegrass, a bat held at his side. "Guys, stop harassing her. Jesus." 

"We're not harassing her, Stevie, slow your roll. This is a common social phenomenon called teasing, maybe you've heard of it? You do it with friends," Eddie says, nudging your arm. 

Friends, you think. Steve's looking at you, waiting for confirmation that you're alright. "I didn't see it, Steve. Do it again!" 

Steve immediately jogs backwards, goading Jonathan into pitching another ball. He has a good arm, the ball soaring just right for Steve to curl back and send it wide across the green grass of the garden. It hits a long banner across the way, smack dab on its painted target as he'd aimed for, falling practically on top of the first. 

It's an impressive arc. You clap your hands together and cheer, though the rules of this game escape you. You think it's supposed to be darts without sharp points, but you're more concerned with the lines of Steve's bicep as he rests the bat on his shoulder, his triumphant sun-kissed smile.

"Did you see that one, baby?" Robin asks. 

"He's so impressive, isn't he?" Eddie adds, grinning. 

Steve throws them the bird, his cheeks pink. 

"That's an example of what not to do in a formal setting," Nancy says, her skirt moving like water as she puts her face in her hand, her elbow on her knee. 

"You're getting good at this tutoring stuff," Jonathan says. 

Steve meanders your way to beg a consolation hug (he puts his arm across your shoulder, muttering about mean friends and their unjust jokes). "They're the worst," he mutters, his hair brushing your ear, goosebumps erupting down your arms. 

"I think they're nice," you say. 

He hums in your ear. "You would. Wretched wife." 

[emo-batboy]

Depression meals Battinson has made himself at least once while unsupervised to the shock and horror of Alfred

(Alfred has to sleep at some point. that’s when Bruce decides to wreak havoc and make these barely edible monstrosities)

(Btw he’s vegetarian, fucking fight me)

Pepper jack cheese between two seaweed sheets

Uncooked ramen dipped in the seasoning packet

Ready rice with cold tofu

Spoonfuls of peanut butter

Instant grits with one slice of American cheese

Pop tart dipped in hot chocolate

Spaghetti noodles with no other ingredient than a mountain parmesan, didn’t even put salt in the water

“Technically bread” (water and flour, microwaved…he was having a really bad day)

Bread, cheese, ketchup, microwave = pizza

Cream cheese and jelly sandwich

Vegan hot dog microwaved without a plate. He picked it up from the microwave with a piece of white bread and ate it just like that. No dirty dishes

kraft mac and cheese with one single raw asparagus

Various little kiddie-themed smoothie shots

Dry cereal

Cheddar cheese wrapped in a flour tortilla

Vegan dinosaur nuggets (microwaved, tho he tried to cook it in his hot coffee once, it didn’t work)

Frozen snap peas straight from the bag, unthawed

Tomato soup with cheez-its sprinkled on top

Tried to make a meal completely out of vitamin supplements once, based entirely on the exact amount of nutrients you need in a day

A family-sized bag of generic brand corn chips

Hard boiled eggs (they were supposed to be soft-boiled) and paprika

Blueberry bagel, toasted, no butter

Cold chicken noodle soup in one of those paper cartons from the corner store (it gave him food poisoning)

Microwave grilled cheese

Cucumber rolls (cucumber slices he rolled in microwave rice)

Leftover cake washed down with a protein shake

A hunk of mozzarella cheese, microwaved

Frozen Garlic bread (it’s actually good like that, he swears)

Four 5-hour energy shots to make a 20-hour energy (his heart rate didn’t go back to normal for two days)

Fruit snacks squished between two slices of wheat bread

Tried to dry scoop protein powder once, worked about as well as the cinnamon challenge

Pistachios with the shells (it was an accident. He did not notice)

Refried refried beans (for protein)

Handfuls of mushy, room temperature blueberries

Tofu block cut up with a spam slicer and dipped in mustard

[saschagemruler]

What I think the League of Villains would order at Starbucks bc I work there and I need entertainment sue me

~Disclaimer idk what Starbucks is like in Japan so I'm basing it off of the USAmerican Starbucks~

Shigaraki - Absolutely the sugarist thing on the menu. Pink drink with sweet cream cold foam on top; Iced white mocha with sweet cream cold foam, caramel syrup and extra caramel drizzle; iced pumpkin spice latte with sweet cream cold foam and extra pumpkin- you get the jist. The least sugary thing he's ordered was a french vanilla iced coffee and even then he asked for extra classic

Kurogiri - He doesn't like to drink much coffee, and if he does he has to brew it himself. Thus, he's one of like five people that gets the English Breakfast tea.

Dabi - Doesn't understand most of the drink names, doesn't care enough to. If someone is ordering for them, they'll get the "purple one" (Dragon drink). If they're ordering for themself it'll be a hot latte - vanilla if they're feeling fancy if not just a regular latte- or a mocha hot no whip. (They feel proud of themself for knowing to say "no whip". They should not be)

Toga - She's a pretty simple gal actually, never really gets an overly complex order. If it's in season she'll get an iced pumpkin spiced latte, if not she'll just get an iced white mocha. Is usually the one to order everyone's drinks if they're going in a group

Twice - She'll usually be unable to decide what he wants to drink and will debate about it for ten minutes before deciding on what she always orders- an iced black tea lemonade unsweetened. Before the huge splitting apart + trauma he'd always get a grande blonde roast with extra half and half.

Big Sis Magne - She's a simple gal. A simple tall black pike for her, sometimes a tall black iced coffee- no classic- if it's really hot outside. She also is the only one with a Starbucks app and always has Toga scan her account whenever the League orders. The stars she gets from their orders is enough to get free drinks for at least four weeks. Will order everyone's drinks if Toga is unavailable.

Mr. Compress - For him it's either the Passion Tango tea lemonade (sweetened, obviously) or a Mango Dragonfruit lemonade refresher. No matter the drink though he always asks for six splenda. Regardless of type of drink or size. No one knows why.

Moonfish - Will order the NASTIEST fucking drinks known to man. A trenta iced coffee, 10 pumps of classic, 10 pumps of vanilla, 10 pumps of toffeenut, 10 pumps of caramel, 6 scoops of vanilla bean powder, extra heavy cream, and caramel drizzle. Or what about a trenta pink drink made with heavy cream, sweet cream cold foam on top, seven scoops of vanilla bean powder, and 10 pumps of vanilla syrup.

Muscular - He wants a pink drink so bad. He wants that shit deep in his soul. He is too cowardly and orders a grande dark roast with two stevias.

Mustard - Give him a venti double chocolaty chip frappuccino no mocha sub white mocha and he'll happily sip on that shit for the entire day.

Bonus round:

Bakugo - Gets either a strawberry cream frappuccino no classic sub vanilla or a blonde vanilla latte if it's later at night. Caffeine makes him sleepy so he usually goes for the non caffeinated drinks.

Hawks - Fans speculate what drink he gets. They assume it's something like an iced vanilla coffee or iced toffeenut coffee. This is incorrect. Coworkers assume he gets pink drinks or iced pumpkin spiced lattes. This is also incorrect. He gets a hot cinnamon dolce latte and an everything bagel.

If people like this I'll do the entirety of Class 1-A.

Since I know no one is going to read this I used headcannon pronouns get off my dick

[httpskeopi]

Meal ideas under 200 cals

Note: calories will vary depending on the brand. Also sorry for using a lot of eggs in this but they're very versatile lol

These are for breakfast, lunch or a snack

1: egg on toast

1 slice of bread: 60-70 cals

1 egg: 60-70 cals

1 teaspoon butter or jam: average of 20 cals

Total: 160 cals

2: smoothie

1/2 cup of fruit: average 35 cals

1/2 scoop protein powder: average 50 cals

1 tablespoon flax seeds (optional): 40 cals

Vegetable powder (optional): between 0-15 cals

Milk (water optional): cals vary depending on kind and brand

Total: 130

3: egg and rice

1 egg: between 60-70 cals

1/3 cup of rice (change the amount of rice depending on your preference): 68 cals

1 teaspoon of soy sauce: 5 cals

Vegetables (optional. i like it with cucumber): 4+ cals depending on how much and the kinds you use

Chili pepper flakes (optional): 0 cals

Total: 140 cals

4. low effort cucumber salad.

Note: this isn't a Korean salad unfortunately since anytime I make it I don't have the right things.

7 slices of cucumber (add more or less depending on your preference): 6 cals

1 - 1 1/2 oz of pasta (this is based off whole wheat noodles. Use konjac or rice noodles for lower cal count): 98-147 cals

1 teaspoon of soy sauce: 5 cals

Red chili pepper flakes: 0 cals

(Add egg or meat for another form of protein if you want it)

Total: 109-159 cals

5. tuna sandwich

1 slice of bread: 65

1/3 can of tuna: 33 cals

(I like to add either a little mayo and soy sauce or salt to my tuna)

Apple: 40 cals for 1/2, 80 for whole

(Pears are also very good with this!)

Total: 138-178 cals

6. hard boiled egg on avocado toast

1 egg: 60-70 calories

1 slice of bread: 65 cals

1 1/2 tablespoon of avocado: 25 cals

Total: 150 cals

7. half a bagel with fruit

1/2 plain bagel: 110 cals

2 sliced strawberries: 8 cals

(optional: cream cheese)

Total: 118 cals

8. Scrambled eggs and pear slices

1 egg: 60-70 cals

1/2 a pear cut into slices: 45 cals

Total: 105

9. Rice cake and yogurt

1 plain rice cake: 28 cals

2 tablespoon of yogurt: 15 cals

1 teaspoon of sunbutter or peanut butter: 33 cals

(optional: top with a little bit of granola or cereal)

Total: 71 cals

10. Tuna and rice

1/4 cup of rice: 51 cals

1/2 can of tuna: 45 cals

2 teaspoons of mayonnaise: 20 cals

2 teaspoons of soy sauce: 10 cals

Total: 126 cals

[findafight]

I just don't trust any of the additional media with Steve because it just keeps reminding us that he was an asshole.

The Robin book reminds us that he was an asshole. The Lucas book reminds us that he was an asshole. I'm almost certain that the Eddie book will remind us that Steve was an asshole, possibly make him out to be a bigger asshole than the show.

And that's on top of the way we get no backstory to him or his family. Between the show and the additional media we at least have the names for the parents for pretty much every other main kids/teens and even some non mains. The show has made a point of showing us the parents of Barb and Heather, but they can't even mention Steve's parents by name once anywhere?

Supplemental material is always sort of...half canon to me? If it includes minor stuff I like that doesn't mess with established canon I accept it (Robin's parents being Melissa and Richard and also former hippies, scoops troop playing dnd to cheer Erica up, Steve and Mike having an awkward talk about what happened post s1 where Mike cries at him), but when it has things I don't like or are contradicted by canon I ignore it lol.

It sucks because Robin tells us in the show exactly why she thought he was an asshole. The girl she had a crush on liked Steve, he didn't know who she was, he ate bagels messily, he asked what Robin perceived as stupid questions. Literally petty teenage shit!! I only have knowledge of the additional media via Tumblr but I saw that apparently in the Lucas book Lucas specifically doesn't go to Steve because he thinks (for some reason that isn't given) that if Steve plays sports again he'll revert back into an asshole (who was just a normal jerk teenager level let's be real) even though Steve, at the time he helped Dustin and then helped save Lucas, was still on the basketball team!! That's so sad and I'm glad it isn't official canon because no :( Lucas deserves to have his mentor on the basketball team and also bond with Steve practicing!!

The Eddie book better not make Steve anything other than mildly frustrated or annoyed at Eddie's loud lunchtime rants. They never spoke before! Maybe Steve bought weed from him a couple times but they never had meaningful interactions! Eddie's whole thing about Steve was that he made assumptions based on facts (big house, girls love him) he had heard about Steve, not anything Steve had directly done. It'll be so stupid if they fake retcon that!!

Steve deserves literally SOMETHING telling us a little about his parents though. Like their names. Or maybe if they're from town or not...just. something more than we have.

[spine-buster]

So High School ft. Adam Cole | Chapter 1

“Austin, babe, do you want your eggs scrambled or sunny-side up?” Violet called out from the kitchen as she stood in front of the stove, drizzling some olive oil into a pan.

“Scrambled!”

She walked over to the fridge and took out four eggs and milk, cracking them all open in a small bowl before whisking them together simply with a fork. She began to smell the hashbrowns in the oven and almost couldn’t wait for their delicious crispiness and crunch. The mundane activity of making breakfast for herself and Austin – the cutting of the avocado on top of the hashbrown, the sprinkling of everything but the bagel seasoning on top, the scooping of the scrambled eggs onto the plate after some salt and a final mix with the spatula – wasn’t anything special. But it was one of her favourite things to do. The simplicity of it was what made it so special. She’d done it countless times before, but never got tired of it.

Soon enough, she heard Austin make his way towards the kitchen – heard, because it wasn’t just Austin. It was Austin and his boot and crutches, having worn them for weeks now. The freak accident was still haunting him, the surgery necessary to fix his ankle still lingering within them because it was all still visible. “Smells delicious, babe,” he said, stopping momentarily.

“Go sit,” she offered, scooping the last of the eggs as she heard him walk again. “Two sugars for your coffee?”

“Uhhh, one I think.” He was trying to watch his intake since he wasn’t working out at all due to his condition.

Her head raised to look at him. So did her eyebrow. She gave him a look and he looked back at her. “Two,” she smirked, in a tone that told him to stop lying.

She knew him better than he knew himself. Who was he to think he could really get away with saying just one sugar in his coffee when he knew, she knew, everybody knew that he took two? He smiled, chuckling slightly. “Two.”

He sat at the table with his crutches leaning against it. With everything set, Violet finally took her seat. Before she could even grab her fork, she could feel Austin grab her forearm. “C’mere,” he said, leaning in slightly. He gave her a peck, but let his lips linger before giving her another kiss. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” she smiled.

“Thank you for what you do for me.”

Austin had been saying that a lot lately. Ever since he got his really bad concussion, and it was a huge question as to whether he’d ever make it back to normal, let alone make it back to wrestling. He’d said it a lot throughout the years too, more so when he was injured, but other times when life was ‘normal’, too. “I’ll do it till the end of time, Austin. You know that.”

***

Austin hadn’t gotten on the bus to school the next day. Then, the weekend meant that Violet hadn’t seen him for a further two days. All she could think about was their last interaction, and whether she had offended him by her comment. She honestly didn’t mean anything by it at all, and now he probably hated her even though he had saved her from that creep.

She was impatient the second she took her regular seat on the bus, wanting the bus driver to speed down the street so he could get to Austin’s stop quicker. When he finally did, she felt herself stop breathing as she saw Austin come on the bus. They made quick eye contact before he averted his eyes and slipped into his usual spot, a two-seater, sitting in the inner seat against the window.

Okay, so now he was just going to ignore her? Not a chance.

Once the bus started moving again, she got up from her seat and made her way towards him. She clung on to the bus poles along the way before sitting dramatically beside him. He looked at her as if he’d seen a ghost. “Did I offend you on Thursday?” she asked, not bothering to beat around the bush.

His eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“Last week, after the creepy guy,” she apparently had to remind him. “I made that comment about Lancaster West not having AP World History because then you’d know who Robespierre was. I was just trying to be funny. But then you just, like, left.”

Austin’s jaw dropped and closed, dropped and closed, not know what to say. To her. “I—”

“It was an accident if I did, I swear,” Violet said. “Like, I didn’t mean to—”

“—I honestly thought you had to study,” he blurted out. “You didn’t offend me at all. I just thought you’d want to study. You read sometimes when you’re on here, I thought maybe you’d want to get back to that.”

Violet took a few breaths to digest his words. “So I didn’t offend you.”

“Not a chance.”

“Then where were you on Friday? Why did you avoid the bus?”

“My friend’s dad drove us in because we had to go to Philly right after school.”

She felt a bit stupid. “Oh,” she blurted out. She stayed silent, and so did he, looking at each other, then at their hands, then at the floor a few times before finally she got the courage to speak again. “I just don’t want you to think I’m stuck up because I go to St. Anne’s or anything.”

Austin immediately shook his head, his hair moving along with it. “I don’t think that.”

Silence again. Awkward teenagers. What else was going to happen between two sixteen year olds? The hum of the bus was the only noise between them. “Thanks again for Thursday, by the way,” Violet’s voice was close to a whisper.

“It’s no problem. Does that happen often?”

She shook her head. “Not on the bus. Just when I’m, like, walking anywhere or something. Like if I’m ever out a shop in Lancaster I can see the stares. We all can. Us St. Anne’s girls, I mean. When I was a freshman there was a car full of seniors from Lancaster West catcalling me.”

Austin grimaced. “Ew. On behalf of Lancaster West, I’m sorry. There’s always a group of idiots in every grade who think that sort of stuff is okay. Because you guys have to wear that uniform.”

It was time for Violet to furrow her brows. “It’s not like we exist in a different world, you know,” she said, looking down, slightly self-conscious suddenly as she smoothed down the tartan fabric of her kilt. “We’re just girls.”

Even as an awkward teenager, he knew there was more weight to those words than just their surface level meanings. He felt almost bad for her having to go through that, despite not even knowing her. Well, he knew her name now. He guessed that was a start.

They stayed silent the rest of the bus ride into Lancaster. There was nothing left to say.

When they got off the bus, Austin began walking as he usually did down the sidewalk towards Lancaster West High. Violet followed behind him, again standing continued on to St. Anne’s Academy. But before she did, once again, she stood on the sidewalk, watching him as he walked in, all before making her own way towards St. Anne’s.

***

“Take a look at this,” the doctor said as he came back into the room with the x-rays before putting them up on the backlight for Austin and Violet to see. “This is your ankle, Mr. Jenkins. It’s healing, but it’s not healing properly. You see this, right here?” he asked, pointing to a specific area and dragging his finger along it. Austin nodded. It was very clear that there was a break. “These are the places where your fracture is. This is where the plate and screws are going.” Austin winced at the mention of plates and screws. He was already in so much pain, probably the worst pain of his career, and that was saying something considering some of the injuries he’d endured, considering what he had just endured with his concussion. Though the screws and plate was going to be better for him in the long run, it was going to make the pain even worse. “How many, again?”

“Eight screws. All along here,” the doctor began tapping one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight times showing where all the screws would go, “and the plate, right alone here to stabilize the bone.”

Austin nodded silently. “When’s the surgery?”

“October 5th, being performed by yours truly.”

After the appointment was over and they signed the necessary forms, Austin and Violet made their way back to their car. Once she helped him settle into the passenger seat, Violet slipped into the driver’s seat and buckled her seatbelt. When she started the car and looked over at Austin, he was already looking out the window sombrely. “It’s going to be okay, Austin,” she decided to say, hoping it would bring him some comfort.

He didn’t respond.

When they arrived back to their house, she helped him out of the car. Austin hated having to see her do that for him. It made him angry to think of what she was putting her body through physically to help him just because of a freak accident. Angry that it wasn’t better. Angry that he had put them into this situation in the first place. Angry that he just had to jump off that ramp.

Violet got a text from Kyle as she was filling their blender with frozen fruits and veggies for a smoothie.

how’d the doctor’s appt go?

He hasn’t had a good few days, Kyle. I’m worried.

***

Another day, another bus ride. Another day, another instance where something had been bothering Violet and she had to go to the bottom of it. She watched as the Austin boy made his way onto the bus, watched him after they made eye contact and he slipped into his regular seat, watched as he clutched his backpack in his arms, seemingly digging through it for something.

She didn’t wait. She pounced.

Her speed even frightened her. She sat next to him with a loud thump. “I’m starting to think you’re lying to me.”

“What?”

“I must have offended you by accident but you’re too nice to say anything.”

“Huh?”

She wished he had more words. “Why do you always, like, run away from me?”

“What do you mean?”

She held the urge to roll her eyes. She didn’t think he was stupid, but she did think he was being deliberately obtuse. “When we get off the bus. You just, like, ignore me. As if we didn’t just sit beside each other for 30 minutes. What’s the deal?”

“I—I—I don’t know,” he stuttered out. It was almost as if he feared her, but she knew that couldn’t be the case. There was absolutely nothing scary about her. “I just—we—we’re not friends.”

“Well…can’t we be friends?”

Austin was shocked hearing those words. She wanted to be friends? Friends? The girl who went to St. Anne’s Academy and the boy who went to Lancaster West High? “You want to be friends?” he asked.

“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked rhetorically, not giving him an opportunity to reply. “We live in the same town. We’re going to schools literally down the street from each other. We’ve been taking the bus together for two years already and we’re going to be taking this bus together for the next two, too. We may as well make it worthwhile. I mean, you don’t still think girls have cooties or something, do you?”

He snorted and smiled. Her confidence was something to admire. He liked that she was bold. “Definitely not.”

She liked his smile. His eyes crinkled and it showed his dimples. “Well then it’s set,” she said assertively, raising her hand between their bodies. “Violet Schwarzkopf.”

Her hands were soft. He would remember that. “Austin Jenkins.”

[mariacallous]

Of all the foods and topics we discuss here at The Nosher, we know that BAGELS are one of the most beloved — and controversial.

Whether it’s New York-style bagels or Montreal-style bagels, to scoop or not to scoop, toast or not, and what kind of cream cheese (or egg salad or lox) goes on top, you guys have some strong feelings. And we do, too.

Nothing is quite as important as the FLAVOR, so we set out to rank America’s most popular types of bagels based on our own tastes, your opinion via Facebook, and also some actual, like journalistic-style research, too. (Yup, we even picked up the phone for this one.)

According to Goldberg’s Famous Deli in MIllburn, NJ, plain and everything are by far the most popular flavors, with cinnamon raisin trailing in third. On average they make at least double the amount of plain and everything bagels in their deli compared to the other flavors. Jim from Goldberg’s also shared with me that while Russian pumpernickel and marbled rye are two of the least popular flavors, they are two of the best tasting bagels you will find. And many of our staff members agreed: While pumpernickel may be the red-headed ugly stepsister of bagels, it is definitely delicious.

But we wanted to go beyond the New York tri-state region in our research, so we also called up Meshuggeh Bagels, which has three locations in both Kansas and Missouri, and they concurred: Plain and everything are also the most popular flavors, with sesame in third place. Like Goldberg’s Famous Deli, they make about double the amount of these flavors daily. And the least favorites? Poppy seed and whole wheat, two somewhat surprising choices. I guess mid-Westerners are not into pretending whole wheat bagels are healthy. Side note: Meshuggeh Bagels features a “Dirty Martini” cream cheese flavor among their schmear selection. Bagels and martinis anyone? But I digress.

So here is the official ranking. Talk amongst yourselves, we know you guys have a lot to say on this one.

[eternally-thin]

Mealsp0: ;) : breakfast

(Side note why do I find my illness ok with a little wonky face

Under 100 kcals:

Fruit - berries or an apple

Egg white scramble or omlette (200g)

Clear whey protein shake

Rice cakes or low cal bread with sf jam

Under 300kcals:

- protein oats (40g and one scoop) with fruit

- egg white scramble with rice cake/ low call bread

- Holland and Barret protein bagel and sf spread

- protein yogurt/ fat free yogurt with fruit

Recipe that I love: protein pancakes

- 40g oats

- scoop of protein

- one egg white + needed water

- spices

- optional: mashed banana and blueberries

- mix into a pancake batter and cook like pancakes

- add any toppings or sf spreads

[eldritch-spouse]

Shape -Shoplifter Anon here (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

~The Final Chapter~

*a single letter falls to the floor from a crack in attic door*

Dearest Pingle Puff Pintos, 

It appears that attic life suits me very well. Though I originally attempted to initiate another rebellion, the wackiness of this place changed my mind.  It is here that I can enjoy watching Tack scoop up Vinegar before he melts into the floor; Make paper figurines with Krucumber and Belch; Have dance battles with Syllables; Play hopscotch with Gallbladder, Grime, and Bregma (this is the name scientists came up with for the top of the skull 🤣 we all have BrEgMa); Kick Suspenders with Putty’s donkey; Make food abominations with Murtle and stop Nodule from eating everything. I think... I was always a croissant, not a bagel - What I’m trying to say is thanks. 

P.S - Do NOT ask what we do on Wednesdays. If there are any sprinkles below the attic door throw them away immediately in a radioactive safe container. 

P.P.S - If you hear a kazoo, eat a piece of Swiss cheese. 

I am not gone, just contained. For now.

Bregma sounds like those ligma jokes. Oh no, you have bregma. Bregma holes. Idk, I think you stumbled on gold there.

K- Krucumber

Vinegar fits Vinnel so well. How do you keep doing this shit?

[goddesspharo]

top five foods you'd feed glen powell. (this is unhinged, i'm sorry, i've had an entire bottle of wine.)

[ask me my top five anythings!]

His fridge tour in that Men's Health video was a product placement travesty - where's the food??? you live off Cali Water??? - as were most of those vague non-answers where he never actually mentioned what he ate. (My favorite part of those MH himbo videos is the what's in your fridge/what do you eat segments!)

Cheese! This "I don't eat cheese, it is moldy queso" business does not fly with me unless you physically cannot eat cheese for fear of death or veganism. The only instance of "I could fix him" I would ever employ in another human being would be to inspire an appreciation of cheese. Eat a pizza, buddy! Have some lasagna! Gnaw on some aged cheddar. Bake up some Brie. Let Halloumi into your heart. (I also don't understand how a person can be that into college football and not eat nachos. 90% of why I watch the Super Bowl is so that I have an excuse to make nachos! Also is his dislike of cheese limited to savory applications? Is he going through life not eating cheesecake? That's sad.)

Carbs for breakfast! I was tempted to try that sweet potato base breakfast situation he had going on but it did not look appetizing. (Maybe he's a bad cook?) Put it on a croissant! Have a classic bagel & lox sandwich with some nice tomato, capers, red onions. I need more hot men to shill for Russ & Daughters like Jake Gyllenhaal.

The product placement Doritos so we can hang out with Danny Ramirez.

A proper slice of pie, not that garbage Netflix handed him for Hit Man promo that didn't even have an egg wash on it.

I do not know what foods are on a craft services table, but what I'm setting down is chocolate bread pudding (I make the best) or Claire Saffitz's giant ass chocolate chip cookie from Dessert Person. (Each scoop is a quarter cup! It is the size of your hand but so delicious.)

[me-myself-and-my-fos]

Be My Valentine?

Pairing: Bernard x Nicole Blake

A/N: It’s still technically Valentine’s Day! So have a short fic of Bernard asking me on our first date! And Happy Valentine’s Day!

Nic poked her head into the kitchen, brown hair frazzled despite its small ponytail. She blew a strand of hair from in front of her face. “We have a quarter of a tray of brownies left! We’re going to need more brownies in the next ten minutes!”

“I got you, Nic!” Jade shouted, pulling a tray of brownies from the rack. They were carried to the front where they replaced the nearly empty tray of brownies, the old being stacked on top of the new. As Jade disappeared back into the kitchen, one of the bakery’s employees, Brad, entered from outside the front.

“Van’s full and ready for the deliveries,” he told Nic, handing her the keys.

She hated driving and making deliveries, but the only other people allowed to drive the company van and make deliveries were either in the kitchen finishing the Valentine’s orders that were expected to be picked up, or on vacation. So she was stuck with the responsibility.

Nic sighed heavily as she clutched the keys. She started to untie her apron. “Think you can handle the front without me?” She asked both him and Bernard, who was scooping chocolate chip cookies into a bag. They both nodded, but Bernard was the one who replied.

“Absolutely. We’ve got this,” he told her.

Nic smiled and reached over to pat him on the arm.

Bernard felt all of the air leave his lungs in the moment her hand connected with him. His face suddenly felt hot and his hands froze in his movement. Nic didn’t even notice his lack of response as she tugged on her jacket and headed for the door.

“Don’t get into too much trouble without me!” Nic jokingly told them as she stepped out of the front door. It shut behind her, the bell ringing as it did.

Even once she was out of sight, his brain wasn’t working. All he could think about was that she touched him. Her hand was on his arm.

An elbow to his ribs pulled him from his train of thought, but his heart continued to flutter. He looked over at Brad who smirked at him as he rang up a customer. It was an open secret in the bakery that Bernard had a crush on Nic. Everyone knew, even the owner. Well, everyone except for Nic. She was somehow oblivious to his feelings, despite the longing gazes he gave whenever she left the room.

“Shut up,” Bernard mumbled, moving to fill the order in the hope it would keep the blush from growing further on his face.

Noon came and Nic had come back from making the deliveries. She rejoined Bernard and Brad in the front, helping them with customers and filing orders. During a lull in service they leaned against the counters and chatted. Brad told them about his plans to propose to his girlfriend during their Valentine’s dinner.

“Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day?” Bernard asked Nic as she took a big gulp from her water bottle.

She shook her head. “I’m just going to go home and order some Chinese and watch Star Wars. I never have Valentine’s plans.”

“Oh. Never?” He inquired, and Brad hid his smirk behind a bagel. “I just thought, maybe you’d have plans.”

“No, I’m kind of married to work right now. I’m first to come in and last to leave. Same with today, actually.” She pointed to both men. “You two are clocking at four-thirty like everyone else. No buts.”

“And you do this every year?” Bernard asked.

“The last four that I’ve worked here,” she said, stepping up to the cash register as a family came into the bakery. “Now look alive, gentlemen. We have some cookies to sell.”

Nic had just finished sweeping when she heard the door to the bakery open. It was five minutes until normal closing time so she assumed it was a regular customer unaware they closed early. Wiping her hands on her pants, she walked into the front of the bakery.

“Sorry, we’re closed. Come back in the morning–” Nic paused when she looked up and saw Bernard standing in the middle of the bakery.

His hair was combed neatly and he was dressed in a button up shirt. In his hands was a bouquet of red roses. He had an anxious expression as he shifted on his feet. His face shifted to bright red as he looked at her.

“Happy Valentine’s Day?” He greeted.

Nic walked from behind the counter, mouth agape as she stared at him. Bernard held the bouquet out to her. She took it from him gently. “Thank you.” She gave him a shy smile. “What’s this about?”

“Do you want to go to dinner? Together?” He asked her hesitantly.

It took a moment before she could respond, not expecting the words that came from him. She nodded before she could speak. “I’d like that. Um, let me lock up.” She rushed behind the counter to grab her jacket and the copy of the keys to the bakery. “Do you have any ideas of where we’re going to dinner?”

Bernard shook his head, stepping over to help her put her jacket on. “I thought I’d let you pick.”

She smiled at him. “I know a place.” Nic leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Bernard.”

[blackacre13]

Hello dear Logan! I don't know if you've seen Friends but there's a part where Joey notices Chandler's ruffled hair and says to him: "You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?" Could you do something like that but it's the crew poking fun at Lou and Debbie?

Of course I’ve seen Friends and I love this prompt! Here you are:

“Let me sleep, Debs,” Lou groaned, physically protesting my tugging the comforter back as she tried to pull it entirely over her face.

“The girls are going to be here any minute and you know how much shit they’ll give us if they know we just rolled out of bed. Or worse. They find us in bed again.”

“Just five more minutes, honey. You tuckered me out.”

“And how is that possible?” Debbie smirked, whispering in the blonde’s ear as she kissed the soft skin beside it. “I was the one doing all the work.”

“Hey!” The blonde shot back, grabbing at her partner as Debbie squealed, gasping and giggling as Lou tickled the exposed parts of her skin peeking out from her silk tank top. “I asked what you wanted and that’s what you chose, Ocean.”

“Yes,” Debbie gasped, her cheeks red and face flustered from laughing. She stood, straightening out her hair and shirt as she sprinted out of Lou’s reach headed towards the bathroom. “I chose to do the work. I mean someone had to make sure I got off last night.”

“You can’t ride my strap without me—“ Lou cut herself off as Debbie gave her a sultry look, disappearing into the bathroom with a final wink.

“I’ll let you picture exactly that possibility while I get ready,” Debbie hummed.

A few minutes later, Debbie’s heels were clicking away towards the steps after giving Lou a toothpaste minty kiss to the forward, set on laying out the bagels and spreads they’d picked up last night for the crew. They were currently protesting being the only ones who ever cooked for the group. Well, Lou was. Lou wouldn’t consider licking batter and stealing things out of a frying pan to be helpful from her disaster of a sous chef.

Lou heard some voices downstairs and assumed that Tammy was there. That was fine. She was always early. But then the door slammed and there was some screaming and laughing which meant that the younger parts of the brood were actually showing up. Hungover and starving, no doubt. But still present. She’s procrastinated too long.

She frowned down at the band tshirt she was wearing and shrugged, merely sliding into abandoned leather pants from yesterday on the floor and a pair of ankle boots from Debbie that she had recently adopted as her own, throwing a blazer over the ensemble and cuffing the sleeves. She ruffled her bangs and popped a piece of gum in her mouth before stepping through a cloud of cologne, not bothering to look in the mirror before she headed downstairs.

Debbie greeted her with a kiss and a murmur about her “sexy bed head” that Lou waved off, but it left her blushing as she went to gather herself a plate and figure out the coffee situation.

And then Daphne appeared behind her and she could practically hear the silent judgment.

“Kluger,” Lou breathed, already suppressing the urge to roll her eyes at the woman pre caffeine.

“God,” Daphne tsked. “You are so lazy. Would it kill you to get on top for once?”

She raised an eyebrow in judgment letting the question hang in the air, but walked away with half of a bagel with the center scooped out and an almost invisible swipe of butter.

“Did I miss something?” The blonde asked, turning around to Tammy who handed her a mug and a shit-eating grin.

“Back of your hair,” Tammy smirked. “Looks like it was steamrolled into the headboard.”

“Wait. Deb tops?” Nine grinned.

“Better,” Constance laughed. “Dad tops from the bottom.”

“Better,” Constance laughed. “Dad tops from the bottom.”