#schools really need to start teaching kids the important things in life

[brb-brained]

Silly Game Time: Complete the phrase. "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Oh, and also _____."

The lack of general knowledge about frogs

[suppose-i-was-worm]

Like A Lamb

**Idea taken from @nerdpoe's post- What the hell is this "Infinite Realms"?**

John Constantine would never call himself a kind man, much less a good man, but the kid at the corner table of this fast food restaurant was making him want to be both.

Not that John’s kindness would really help the kid, in the long run.

He’d seen so many things in all the time he’d been alive- wondrous and horrific in equal measure, but this boy- this teenager, barely out of childhood, was probably the most heart-breaking.

John had known sacrifices- marked by both men and demons. He’d seen the crumpled bodies after the fact, and sometimes he’d been able to save them beforehand. None of them were like this boy. Marked like a sacrificial lamb down to his bones by the universe- an inevitable end.

The teen was the beginning and the end of worlds- his death would shake the foundations of all that was, could be, and is. Time would stutter to a stop before restarting with a different beat, and John could do nothing to delay or stop what was coming.

How in the world could this kid still smile and laugh with his friends? How could he not feel the weight of an entire reality on his shoulders? If John, sitting across a dining room from him, could feel the pressure, why wasn’t the boy buckling under it?

John’s phone alerted him to a text from Zatanna- he was needed by the JLD.

With a sigh, he fished out the strongest protection amulet he had on him. It wouldn’t save the teen, but maybe it would make the rest of his life a little easier.

The kid looked up at him as he approached, all smiles and young innocence. John Constantine thrust the amulet into his hand and then turned, stalking out of the Nasty Burger.

He needed to tell the Justice League. Amity Park needed protection- there was a kid there whose death would change the world.

~~~

Danny flipped the little charm around in his hands, trying to figure it out. The sad trenchcoat man had handed it to him before leaving, and he had no idea why.

“What do you think it is, Danny?”

He shrugged. For some reason he didn’t want to hand it over to Sam for her to inspect it.

“Dunno. It feels important, though. I might take it to Pandora- she’s been teaching me a bit of magic stuff, so she can probably parse it out.”

For some reason, Danny knew he would recognize that man again if he ever saw him, despite only having looked at him for a moment. Something in his core rumbled contently as he tucked the amulet carefully into the back of his phone case.

The next few weeks, Danny found himself having suspiciously good luck. The food at home didn’t come to life, ghosts didn’t attack as much, Dash wasn’t a problem at school, and even the Fentons hadn’t been as insistent on catching Phantom.

That was another weird thing- His brain didn’t seem to compute that Jack and Maddie were his mom and dad anymore. He knew he’d been creeping toward that ever since his death, but it was like a switch had been flipped overnight. The Fenton adults no longer registered as his parents.

Finally he had a chance to slip into the Realms and head for Pandora, who took one look at the amulet he held out to her and laughed.

“You have been adopted, young one, and your core accepted.”

“Adopted?”

“Your nature is to protect- it sings in your blood and guides your instincts. An adult offered you protection, a safe haven, and you took them up on it. Had someone your own age done the same, your relationship with them would be vastly different.”

Danny frowned at the charm, but he didn’t put it down- it didn’t even occur to him to get rid of it.

“Why did he- what made him do that?”

Pandora ruffled his hair.

“He saw someone who needed protecting, I assume, and acted as he ought.”

~~~

“Bats, I don’t know what the Infinite Realms are. Yes, I know they exist. I just don’t know when they started to exist, and when my knowledge of the afterlife became outdated.”

Batman glared, and John rolled his eyes at the other man.

“Magic shit happens all the time. Zatanna can tell you just as well as I can that the Realms didn’t exist a year ago- and also that they’ve existed for millenia.”

“I’ve found a summoning spell for the king of the realms, but it requires a magic user. Zatanna is off-planet, so you’re up.”

John looked over at the speaker, Red Robin, whose slight form and dark hair made him think of the boy he’d left to die.

He’d thought of the boy more often than not- any research into the kind of sacrifice that would have so much power came to a dead end, and John Constantine hated that there was really and truly nothing he could do for the kid.

Maybe this Infinite Realms person might know something?

“Fine. What are the details?”

Red Robin perked up and handed over a heavy tome.

“Batman and I already set up the ritual space in the conference room, and a few other heroes are there to help out if the king is hostile.”

“Of course you have. Let’s go, then.”

The two bats swept off down the hallway, and John followed behind, studying the spell he would need to cast. It was fairly simple, and luckily wouldn’t require blood. He hated the ones that required blood.

As he stood over the sigils and spoke the ritual spells, the floor inside the protective circle began to writhe and bubble a toxic neon green. It was all John could do to stand straight as a rush of air spilled from the portal into the wide room, bringing with it the heavy taste of caution.

The Justice League took a step back as the first clawed hand reached out from the green, white and stretched beyond humanity. It scrabbled for purchase before finding it and pulling.

The creature that exited the swirling mass was something John had never seen before. If the situation wasn’t so tense, he might describe the creature as catlike, with a black body and white legs, as well as piercing green eyes. The similarities stopped, however, when the inky body flickered and lit up from within with the pinpricks of millions of stars and endless void.

This was a baby god, filled with the dreams of deities long forgotten and fueled by the hope of those still clinging on to life.

Its green eyes swept over the gathered heroes before coming to rest on John, and for a moment he felt as if his tattered soul was being judged by the cosmos.

And then the creature folded in on itself, the tense air around it changing from bitter caution to sweet relief, and John found himself face to face with the teenager from Amity Park.

“Hi.”

The boy sounded winded, but happy, and he reached inside his shirt to pull out a small chain necklace. John’s amulet was hanging off it, obviously well treasured and cared for.

“Did you know that you’re technically my dad now?”

Something on John’s face must have told the boy- the god, the sacrifice both dead and alive- that he was unaware of this fact. The kid shuffled a little, looking sheepishly at the floor.

“You- uh. Unintentionally offered safe haven. And I accepted without realizing what was going on, and- it’s weird. I collected your soul for you! Didn’t bring it with me, but I’ve got the pieces you’re missing.”

“I think you both need to sit down and discuss this.”

Bless Diana.

“Can you leave the circle, young one?”

The teen beamed at Diana and stepped out of the protective circle, smudging the sigils as he did and closing the portal.

“I can, yeah. Pandora says hi, by the way.”

John watched as the boy chattered away about his ghost friends to Diana while she led him to a seat, and then sighed, moving to join them. If he needed help with being a new dad, surely Bats could help, right?

[johnbrand]

Loyal

With @mrrharper

I can not recall what started it really, there was just something off. Almost like a persistent tick within the back of my head, a missed alarm that somebody had forgotten to address from far away, and yet was still just barely registerable on my radar. It was like I was the only one that heard it, felt it, knew this tiny thing even existed. I was all alone.

When I had first come to college, I had no idea what to expect. The whole atmosphere had changed since the pandemic; competition was everywhere. I was no longer “smart enough” for the STEM kids, and yet I was not “passionate enough” to join any special interest groups. Everything had suddenly become a challenge to be the best, the greatest, but my background was not built for that type of drive. I began to assume college was only for my peers ready to commit everything to reaching the practically unattainable.

But Coach saw something different in me, he saw potential. He was the one who got me to stay. He was the only one who not only saw my tick when no one else had been able to, but explained it to me. He believed that the culture around education had become too individualistic, too single-minded. It was appropriate that I had suddenly felt inferior, unnoticed and left behind in the slaughter others had created. I needed to be a part of something greater, a team. His team.

At first, I had found Coach’s opinions beyond ludacris. Me? In sports? My body practically lacked everything necessary for a college athlete, unless it was in e-sports. I maintained my health fairly well, but I was toned and skinny, and practically too short for any serious competition. The only sport I could have seriously considered was swimming junior varsity–at a high school level. But soon I learned that Coach's opinion was law in his territory, from the locker room to the field.

Coach decided to tackle the standard issues right away, knowing that at the base of every great player is dedication. His questions opened up my formerly firm mindset and ideals, offering up new possibilities.

“Is it truly impossible for you to believe that I, an experienced professional, would not be able to help you discover a greater purpose as one of my players?”

“Wouldn’t you rather be a part of a team, a successful unit, rather than having to navigate the world on your own?”

“Do you really need to focus on other things outside of our work together? Are classes, friends, and family truly improving you like our time in the gym and on the field are?”

I did not realize it, but the more Coach questioned my morals, the more my mind began internalizing his. Coach believed that his players were all like the states in the mighty “US of A,” the greatest place on Earth. Separate, we had some power and identity, but nothing of significance. But together, as a part of a greater cause, we could become something much more impactful, more important, than our individual selves.

“If you become a part of my team, then wouldn’t it be more meaningful to be a player both in mind and body?”

“Perhaps your feelings of inadequacy aren’t stemmed from your lack of participation in college, but in general. Wouldn’t you feel more fulfilled if you followed a greater cause, like the traditional role of men in society?”

“Don’t you think what you are searching for is something to uphold? Maybe at large it is masculinity, but at a personal level supporting your teammates and likewise supporting me?”

Thanks to Coach’s help, I began to reprioritize my schedule, in turn reorganizing my life. With his approval, I was able to weed out some of the classes that were hindering my performance to become a better player, before I eventually stopped attending lectures all together. It was much easier to listen to Coach anyway, and he promised he would provide me with all the materials necessary in order to graduate. 

With my time freed up, I was better able to absorb Coach’s teachings at a rapid rate. My body quickly started to expand, packing on muscle in the weeks following faster than I thought was possible. It was as if every week I had to purchase new clothes, before eventually Coach began supplying me with past players’ hand-me-downs. My biceps and triceps became too large for any sleeve, my thighs would practically rip through every pants seam. It was not long before I was practically forced to endless sleeveless tanks and tight shorts. I even managed to gain height although I was past the prime of puberty, reaching an appropriate 6’3 for any linebacker.

That was what Coach said I was to become. Not any linebacker, his linebacker. When he first told me his plans, I had been shocked, but soon I began to instinctually follow his orders. Eventually, he stopped calling me by my name altogether; I had been reduced to “Linebacker #1!” in all his references.

Strangely enough, it was like my body responded to this new name accordingly. My boyish features almost vanished over the course of a day, leaving behind a wide jawline to support a much broader skull. My general hygiene fell backwards in priority, allowing for hair to cover my beefier frame and a manly mustache to crawl out onto my upper lip.

I had even begun to emit a sweat-induced, locker room musk wherever I went, although after a while I lost any embarrassment in it. In fact, I took some pride in my larger figure. I soon weighed over 230 pounds of pure girth, muscle, and mass that helped me pummel my opponents on the field. There was something so invigorating about being large and in charge…while still being under Coach’s orders.

“What if your purpose all along was to play football for glory and to preserve tradition? And was I not the one who helped you discover that purpose?”

“Why would you possibly want or need anything else from outside of the field? Aren’t you at your best when you are a part of my team, a piece of a larger puzzle?”

“Wasn’t the only thing you ever wanted all along was to be Coach's loyal football jock? A place where you can be your biggest, most masculine, most aggressive self without ever having to worry about anything else?”

By the time preparations for the next season began to roll around, I had stopped questioning Coach. I had realized that he was right, that he had been right all along and would remain as such. I was no longer considering his viewpoints, now merely just thanking him for them. I had begun coming to Coach for advice on any topic. Should I be worried about my dropping grades? Is it ok to get physical with nerds who insisted that the team was “a bunch of stupid pawns”? How could I be a better player for the team, his team?

And now, I was strutting around the conference room filled with reporters and many other beefy, aggressive jocks just like myself. I was feeling proud, cocky, arrogant even. Since joining his team, I had gained strength, girth, and attitude, all of which had earned me the title as the up-and-coming star collegiate linebacker. I did not need anything besides my masculinity, I did not need an identity outside of Coach’s team. I was simply his loyal football jock, and when I heard him call out for “Linebacker #1!” I immediately turned around. That was my name after all; whatever I was called had been long forgotten.

[kings-highway]

Ive been playing around with a fic idea for a really long time that doesnt really have a plot (hence why I havent written it) but would be a slice of life or episodic "lesson learning" story where the premise is Daichi's father getting a fancy job across Japan, so they have to move, but because he's so close to graduating (and they might make it to nationals!) he really doesnt want to go with them, and knowing how important he is to the team and they are to him, Ukai decides to let him stay in a spare room above the shop/live with him, and it would really focus on Ukai's POV of like - sure daichi is functionally just renting a room, but Ukai legally becomes his guardian/proxy for school/medicial issues etc but he's not worried because "I was a trouble teen and got into shit but this kid is so put together and normal, I dont really need to worry he can probably handle himself" and in fact in terms of father figures Daichi spends a lot of his time lecturing Ukai on proper cleaning and house maitenance, he's a really handy guy, very on top of things, and Ukai makes the joke about how Daichi is clearly the more adult one of the two but then *that* starts to weigh on him as he realizes there's something unsettling in that idea and he starts fighting back against Daichi's very mature persona and unravelling what had essentially been years of (unintentional) emotional neglect and having been forced to grow up really fast and its just a general fluffy vibe of "everyone has something to teach" where Daichi helps Ukai shake off the last of his teenage bad habits and Ukai helps Daichi develop at least one teenage bad habit before he graduates. I think this also means that Ukai walks in on Daichi and Suga making out on the couch and is incredibly conflicted over whether or not he should yell at him or be proud of him.

[bodymachine]

regarding the “the american education system didn’t teach ___ so i never learned it” posts, some of you are veryyyy much missing what’s wrong w/ those statements when you give the blanket retort that the american education system actually did teach ___. newsflash: public school curriculums aren’t the same in every school/district/county/state. but to take it a step further, the quality of public education depends on state laws and the funding available to schools, which funding depends largely on local property taxes, which means low-income communities end up with low-quality schooling, fewer extracurricular programs, fewer resources for disabled students, more corrupt administration. the system is not about problems with curriculum, it’s much more and much worse than that.

besides the property tax funding, standardized tests also play a huge shitty role in this mess. schools that don’t have high test scores, i.e. underfunded schools often with majority low-income black and brown students, are considered “low-performing” and actually get less funding from the government as a result, like needed funds can get cut, and their teachers get paid less (and don’t even get me started on how programs like teach for america are sending young, white, fully inexperienced teachers to the poorest schools).

standardized tests are chosen at the state level, so states with huge wealth disparities and obviously segregated districts (like CT where i’m from) are measuring the performance of poor kids and rich kids using the same content and scoring system to arbitrarily determine who’s smart enough to deserve a better funded education. so the tests, i.e. the government, clearly favor the success of rich, white students. and the problem isn’t so much which content gets taught and how, as it is how little the american government actually cares about kids learning and having promising futures. like, education truly isn’t the point of american public schools. what they care about is deciding who gets to thrive in the world once they become adults.

since schools with majority white and wealthy populations essentially set the bar for what kind of performance is “standard,” everyone else whose circumstances (academic or otherwise) don’t allow them to reach that level are set up by the system to fail. being a “low-performing” school means kids are forced to repeat grades, and graduation becomes something out of reach. the schools don’t care about their students’ needs (especially when the teachers and administrators are mostly white), and real-life factors beyond students’ control cause them to struggle in school and they end up getting punished/suspended/expelled at horrifying rates, and yeah there’s a whooooole host of reasons why school can fucking suck and i’m barely scratching the surface.

anyway, what i’m trying to say here is YES the american education system sucks—not just because certain topics related to racism and imperialism and american history and other countries are glanced over or fully left out of curriculum, but also because success is being gatekept by the white and wealthy. it’s actively a racist system. not being taught important things about the world, or not being taught in a way that is actually engaging, is a problem that anyone anywhere can face, but it’s particularly insidious when you realize that the school system is TRYING to harm poor, black, brown, and immigrant communities.

so just to circle back to the real problem on display in those ignorant posts, it really makes me sick that white liberals can develop such a whiny complex around their own insular lack of curiosity when they don’t even know what “american education system” they’re talking about. and trying to look better than them by saying they just weren’t paying attention in school is completely completely beside the point.

[aingeal98]

Idk if you wrote about it in the past, but thoughts about a potential Stephcass wedding? How it would play out, what they wear etc. With those women it could be interesting lol

I'd like to see you tackle that in a story if you wanted to, considering you write fanfiction and did a really good job imo with this ship.

OK so I actually have a detailed idea in my head of how stephcass plays out in the future that starts with them getting together, breaking up because Cass grows even more intense in her commitment to the mission once she becomes Batman, and then a year or two later Cass showing up in Steph's apartment with a kid being like hey I rescued this kid from being forced to be a child assassin but his parents are dead and idk what to do pls help.

And Steph is like we haven't talked in five months are you fucking kidding me. But she's not a monster and Cass looks way over her head so the two of them start kind of coparenting this kid because Cass understands the assassin aspect but she has no idea what school supplies a 10 year old might need. And then one thing leads to another and it turns out Cass may actually be worse at this adoption addiction than Bruce is because despite her firm belief that she is not capable of being a good mother she is also unwilling to Not help any child assassin she meets. And often that includes adoption because there is no other family uniquely capable of understanding the trauma these kids are going through.

(Cass meets an alarming amount of child assassins. She doesn't adopt ALL of them because they don't all need that specific type of help. Steph is still mildly concerned and not just because her apartment is getting way too full even though all the kids technically live at the manor and Steph is just a family friend.)

So in my mind they do everything backwards. They're exes then they're coparents then they're kind of rekindling things and then five years after Cass adopts the first kid she's like hey do you want to have a baby together because I didn't think I'd be a good mom but I actually really love helping these kids and I really like doing this with you and I think I'm actually ready to be both Batman and the mother of a baby. I get why Bruce was scared but I'm built different so I simply won't die and this kid will grow up happy and loved and I'll teach it everything I know and you can teach it important life stuff like what the settings on the washing machine actually mean and why certain clothes need dry cleaning.

And Steph is like woah that's a lot to process but Cass babe you have to ask me on a date first. And Cass is like have we not already been dating for a few years now? And Steph is like no showing up on my doorstep with a kid who needs a good meal, a shower and medical attention is not actually a date. Neither is attending those little league games together or patrolling together. If you're going to ask me to have a baby I'm going to need a ring on this finger and you're going to have to work for it.

So they date, and then they get married, and they have a bunch more kids most of whom are adopted or fostered. By the time Cass is forty she has five kids, the oldest of whom she adopted as a 10 year old and is now 21. And she and Steph have been married for five years technically but have been coparenting for eleven.

The wedding itself would be pretty straightforward, if more extravagant than normal. Cass wears a suit and is mildly uncomfortable with having to talk about her feelings in front of an entire audience. Steph wears a dress and can't stop smiling because god she loves this woman so much even though she can be a dumbass sometimes. Especially because she can be a dumbass sometimes actually.

The whole family is there. Bruce cries. Crystal makes snide but deserved comments at him the entire time. Tim was asked by both women to be their best man and almost spiraled into another self destructive slump from trying to process all the emotions he felt about that. In the end Cass takes Babs with Bruce walking her up the aisle and Steph takes Tim, who still looks mildly terrified throughout the entire ceremony, like one wrong move from him is going to bring the entire building down on top of them.

Two of Cass's enemies do show up to try and ruin the wedding but unfortunately for them they end up making it so much better instead because Cass gets to kiss her wife AND punch some bad guys in the face all in the same event. She's having the time of her life. What the hell was Bruce so afraid of this marriage thing is EASY.

(It's not easy. Cass is able to balance the mission and her family better than Bruce but that doesn't mean problems don't exist. The kids are used to at least one fight every six months where Steph basically yells at Cass for all the ways she's been letting Batman responsibilities come between them and Cass is like psh I don't know what you're talking about and then gets her act together because she does in fact know what Steph is talking about. She takes Steph to Themyscira on a vacation as an apology. She doesn't repeat her mistakes but she does make new ones because it turns out there are infinite ways you can mess up when raising kids especially when your work is being Batman and you're never going to stop. Steph messes up too although her mistakes are less to do with work life balance and more to do with hurtful comments made during arguments that she regrets. It's never anything bad enough to break them up again, and for the most part they're shockingly the most healthy and well adjusted pairing of the family. Damian takes great joy in reminding Tim of this fact.)

I've basically just written an abridged version of a very long fanfic idea that exists in my head haha but thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to ramble about this!

[mrslectermoriarty]

Headcanon Series #15

Okay, I need some IceMav!daughter stuff or I'm gonna burst!

I imagine a one-night-stand accident or a deceased mother of the girl and Tom/Pete got custody. (sth like that, the point is they’re a single parent)

Now, when they move in together (after cutting the crap and finally hooking up, developing a relationship) the little girl grows up with at first one, then two fathers.

Mav is Pops and Ice is Papa. East-European Tom Kazansky absolutely gets the ‘Papa’ title.

She learns the cooking from Mav because he had to make his own food pretty early on in his life (rough childhood, you know the drill)

(based on a Bruce Wayne Headcanon I can’t find anymore) Ice can’t cook at all. He can set a kitchen on fire with only a wooden spoon and cold water. The only thing he actually can do is an excellent bbq, which he becomes famous for. Ice teaches his daughter all the tricks and when she gets older, and Ice is maybe too exhausted after a day of work or sth, she’ll fire up the grill and provide amazing food for everyone around.

Also, Ice spent his childhood baking with his mother and her mother whenever they met, so the kid learns baking from him.

Mav teaches her how to fix cars and motorcycles. His hyperfixation kinda catches her too and they spend many weekends in the garage.

I am utterly obsessed with with this fanfiction and needed to implement it into this - Ice reads really weird bedtime stories, but she loves every single one of them.

Of course she grows up with Bradley (they’re around the same age, idc who’s older) and the adults around them like to refer to them as the chaos cousins. When Mav and Ice take Bradley in after Carole dies, they become the chaos siblings.

Bradley loves his sister and is super protective of her when they are in their teens. When she got cruelly dumped by her boyfriend in her first year of high school, Bradley stormed into the guys’ classroom and broke his nose. The principal had to call his parents, so Tom interrupted an important meeting and showed up in uniform at school to get his kid. The principal was kinda intimidated because of course Tom put on his Iceman™ look and stared the guy down, so Bradley ended up being expelled for only the rest of the day. (I think I need to write something separate about this)

Let’s take a closer look at the whole custody situation: Mav made Ice his emergency Contact and vice versa. Obvious. In the eyes of the Navy they are ‘best friends’ and brothers in arms; it’s not an uncommon thing to do so. Concerning the kids; they’re always both listed as emergency contacts for the kids. In a scenario where Tom has a daughter, they always argue “we both have a kid, we’re basically brothers, the kids are grew up together; they’re like cousins - we’re a family in the Navy, we look out for each other.” In a scenario where Mav has a daughter, he answers to that question with “Ice is like a brother to me; we’re best friends. He knows the kid(s). I can’t always respond, so I need another person to watch over the kid(s). He was the first to agree to that.” (I don’t know if this makes sense)

Regarding Bradley being an overprotective sibling; that girl doesn’t actually need any protection - after all, both her fathers are Navy legends and well respected and feared men in the military. She can stand her ground pretty well.

The flyboys often joke around if she actually might be a genetic experiment where they took Pete’s and Ton’s DNA to create the ultimate soldier because she inherits significant parts of both their personalities. She gets Mav’s recklessness and Ice’s strategic thinking, so everything she does, however stupid it might look, she does on purpose. She also got both their stubbornness. They all agree; if she ever starts a career in the Navy, she’s gonna be a nightmare for her superiors.

She starts a career in the Navy. Of course she had the chance to do something else, but she grew up surrounded by people being very passionate about their jobs and they just kinda naturally dragged her into it. Her military education looks something like this, I found it and almost died of laughter because this is kinda exactly how I imagined it, this is a piece of art!

She’s just as protective of her brother as he is over her and that’s why she hates Jake in the beginning. Sure, they’re now adults, but Bradley has such an unhealthy relationship with that guy, on and off and back on; then they’re fucking in a closet, the next minute they shout at each other over training exercises - she doesn’t get why Bradley keeps crawling back to that guy. After the Uranium-Mission (Ice lives, Mav doesn’t have the fight with Bradley) she starts appreciating the guy a little more because for one, he saved her father and brother, second, now that both men are more mature than ever and develope an actual relationship, she can see parallels in them to her fathers and she gets why they can’t keep away from each other. (Also don’t know if this makes sense)

Both her fathers walk her down the aisle on her wedding day, she insists on that.

Please expand if you have additions! <3

[kimmiessimmies]

Personal post

This will probably be the most non-Sims related post I've put on this blog ever. I'll put most of it under a cut, so you can choose whether or not to read it. The thing is, I could use some advice. And asking strangers from all over the world advice on something important might be weird, but you are also my community, so I value your opinions. Don't worry, this isn't a "Kim being depressed" kinda post. 😉 It's a work thing.

Upfront: This post is about me being unhappy in my current well-paid job and my search for something that makes me happy. It might come across sounding a bit entitled, since I know there are many people who would be happy to have any job, just so they can pay their bills. I'm sorry if this post triggers that, and I know I'm privileged to even be in this situation. ❤️

TL/DR: Do I stay in a well-paid, secure job that doesn't bring happiness and actually negatively affects my mental health because of it? Or: Do I take the plunge into the unknown and give up the securities I have now for something that could potentially (but not guaranteed) not only make me happy but bring me opportunities as well?

Okay, here's the deal. Currently, I work in education. I've been teaching for 19 years, and for the last 3 years, I've held the position that best translates to special needs coordinator at the school where I've been all of my working life. In short, my job entails making sure the teachers have the tools they need to help all kids in their classes with special educational needs, to make sure each child ends up in the right form of education fitting their needs and dealing a lot with difficult or even alarming home situations. My job can be rewarding at times, and challenging at others. Aside from this, I've been part of the management team at my school for almost 8 years. I work at a big school. It wasn't big when I started there, but it's big now. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education, and that's also the age group I've always dealt with. It's the age group I've always taught, and it's the age group currently under my supervision in the position I'm now.

This past year, I've struggled with my mental health, as I've mentioned before, and have not been at work fully for a while. My therapist and I established that while work is "okay", it's also not bringing me joy anymore while my job was once the happiest and most passionate thing I did. Right now, it's blah. This position is not one that really suits me, yet I don't want to go back to teaching either. I've been there, done that. Add to that the fact that, come September, my boss requires me to change my position slightly. I'd be doing the same thing I do now, but for an older age group. This has given me a lot of stomach aches, because the thing that still drives me to do my job now is the fact that I'm doing it geared towards the youngest kids in school.

All in all, the job is not bringing me happiness in the slightest anymore. Having said that, I know a lot of people do jobs that don't make them happy, but it pays the bills, so let's suck it up and just do it. Which is fine, I can do that too, except my mental health suffers...

However, there are a few good things about this job too:

The pay is really good

I have lovely colleagues

I have a lot of credits here because I've been here for so long. They know my worth

I have a very understanding boss who's been nothing short of wonderful during my depression

(If you're still with me, thank you for reading this essay all the way, it's appreciated 💗)

My therapist asked me, "If money weren't a factor, what would you be doing?" My answer was "write." More specifically, I just want to stay home all day and work on ATOH, but no one is going to pay me for that. 😄 So, write, or do a job in which writing plays a role. So, she advised me to start looking for jobs that fit that description. It was a rather depressing search. Most jobs that came close to what I'd like to do require degrees or diplomas I don't have.

And then I suddenly stumbled upon something: Assistent Project Manager at a small, but well established company that creates educational projects (usually based on children's books), books and materials geared towards early childhood education in particular, and currently expanding to do the same for education to older kids as well.

I felt like I had found the holy grail. This is writing, this is editing, this is being creative, this is working with authors, but it's also closely related to early childhood education, the thing I know so well. Despite still being semi depressed, I felt like I needed to at least give this a shot. So, I wrote a letter, enclosed my resume, and waited. I didn't have to wait long, because a few days later I got an invite for an interview.

I went for the interview and was welcomed at a small and very homely office space (with an office cat!). We had a good talk and I left happy. They invited me to do a "trial day" with them, which is what I'll be doing today. They've had a lot of applicants for this position, but from the contact we've had since, it seems like I stand a good chance.

Sounds like a no-brainer? Perhaps, unless you have my brain... Because there are doubts:

Pay. This job pays quite a bit less than my current one. I'm a single parent and therefore sole breadwinner in my household. Currently, I make quite good money because I've been in this job for a long time and hold a relatively high position in the organisation. We can pay the bills, go on holidays, and even splurge occasionally (for example, the very pricey laptop I bought a few months ago). With this job, I would still make enough to pay the bills and go on holidays, but I will need to keep an eye on the money, and there won't be splurging for a while. I do know this sounds like a luxury problem to some.

Job security. In my current job, I'm under a fixed contract. Basically, unless I royally fuck up, I can't be fired. With this job I'd start on a year contract. After that year, they can either decide to give me another year or let me go. This won't just be if I mess up, but also if they decide I'm not the best person for the job after all, or if I don't fit in with their small, close-knit team. Worst case scenario; they let me go, and I'll have to go back to education and probably teach again.

These doubts are few, but strong. So, basically, like I already said above: do I stay in a well-paid, secure job that doesn't bring happiness and actually negatively affects my mental health because of it? Or: do I take the plunge into the unknown and give up the securities I have now for something that could potentially (but not guaranteed) not only make me happy but bring me opportunities as well (since it's publishing)?

I don't need anyone to actually answer those questions, but those are the wonderings on my mind I wanted to write down. Thanks for reading. ❤️

[crazyhappycat]

NINJAGO

So, I’ve been watching Ninjago and There is some things about Lloyd character I would have liked to see in season 1 and 2

1) having trouble being Nice

Lloyd have been raised at Darkley’s school for bad boys since he was a little kid. And he was so Young he didn’t remember his mother, so he must have been left there when he was really Young. And Darkleys is a school Where They’re literally teaching kids to be evil warlord. And Lloyd is the son of the biggest treath Ninjago have faced. His father is the Dark lord! Lloyd looks up to him and want to be just like him, and since Garmadon was the only family member Lloyd knew and was loved by

At the beginning of his life all this boy knew was evil.

So instead of Lloyd finding out He’s the green ninja and go ‘I’m a good guy now’ I wish he had more trouble with being Nice. Just saying some rude things here and there

2) Angry at the Ninja and Wu

We’ll start with Wu because wth

Wtf, Wu? I dont understand this guy. His nephew have just been kicked out off the only home he had. He has nowhere Else to go and Wu definetly knew that. And he definetly knew Misako have given up Lloyd.

And he dont care. In fact, he didn’t care before Lloyd became too much of a problem! Not once did We hear Wu being worried about Lloyd being in the snakes hands. Not once did We hear Wu being worried about Lloyd being out on the big world all alone.

As for the ninja, They literally took the starving child and humiliated him infront of the whole town and Then started to eat infront of the starving child. WTH?!

Zane, you’re better than this! Kai, you should understanded more!

And not only that, They’re just bullies to Lloyd the whole season.

Being all angry about Lloyd opening the serpentine thumbs, which I can understand, but this goes back my first point. All his life, Lloyd have only known evil. Being raised at a school Where they train kids to be warlords while being the son of one of the biggest warlords in history, they should have seen this coming.

And Maybe it wouldn’t happen if, i dont know, they took the homeless starving kid to his Uncle so he won’t suffer from hypotermi of aneroxia or something.

Then We have when Lloyd is kidnapped by the snakes. The ninja dosent Even care before the next day. THE NEXT DAY! Jay goes to the Arcade and dosent find Lloyd anywhere. And the next day they act like nothing happens.

"Lloyd is gone? Was by Damn time!"

They’re lucky it was just some snakes that kept him in a cage. What if it was a predator or human traffickers? They literally couldn’t care less about this kid

And when Wu leaves to find Garmadon, not once do We hear the ninja say "We need to Save Lloyd" all they Are saying is "We need to Get the fang blade before the snakes"

For them, Lloyd is less important than four milk teeths!

But Then They find out Lloyd is the green ninja and suddenly They care so much for him!

I could go about this rant forever but I need to sleep soon.

Garmadon was banished from Ninjago!

Every adult in Lloyd’s life failed him except the one who weren’t allowed to be with him!

[schmergo]

I really enjoy listening to podcast episodes that maybe fall slightly to the side of "true crime" and more into the realm of "dark history" or "scary true stories" (like, it's not really true crime if a lion eats a bunch of people because there are no laws for lions), but every time I start enjoying a podcast, I always feel smacked in the face several episodes in by weird instances of the podcasters' lack of general historical knowledge or context. It makes me trust their interpretation of events much less.

Obviously I do not expect the lady podcasting about wilderness survival stories to have a PhD in history, but a few of the missing bits of knowledge that have shocked me lately have included:

* Thinking Ebenezer Scrooge was a real historical figure (possibly getting him mixed up with Charles Dickens?)

* Not being sure which side of the Civil War Ulysses S. Grant was on, had to look him up

* Knowing Thomas Edison was a famous inventor but not being able to think of any of his inventions (and quit your yapping about how he didn't REALLY invent those things-- you know what I mean)

* Calling 18th century England "Victorian times"

Now, are these the most important things for human beings to know? Not necessarily. But I do think that not having that greater context for a historical or nature-based tale that you're researching is going to limit your insight into what you're talking about. And I think part of what shocks me about these podcasters' confusion is that sure, a lot of people don't pay attention in history class and don't need to know this stuff in daily life, but these people are presumably intellectually curious and enjoy learning if they're researching and writing these detailed episodes every week.

And you can say, "Well, they didn't go to college for history, they have real jobs besides podcasting," but these are all things I was taught in elementary school. I have to wonder about their actual educations. This leads me to my next point...

I stumbled across some internet threads recently where teachers talk about how they no longer teach history or social studies at the elementary school level because they don't have time in the day while trying to get kids caught up on language arts and math and science. There's no standardized testing for history and many schools seem to have done away with it or made it optional.

That certainly wasn't the case for my educational experience-- many of my strongest memories of elementary school include history projects and units and even performing historical-based musicals! But going into high school and later adulthood without any elementary basis in history is actually going to really affect reading comprehension and critical thinking in shocking ways. Imagine having to read To Kill a Mockingbird in high school without having ever learned about segregation or Jim Crow laws. No matter how many hours your class spent on preparing for standardized testing in reading comprehension, you will NEVER fully understand that text without understanding the context.

Knowing that these podcasters that I listen to are adults who are presumably interested in history (albeit mainly history where someone dies, but to be fair, that is a good chunk of history because most of the people who have ever lived are in fact dead), I can't help but wonder and worry about what it will look like when the next generation of entertainment in this vein is taken over by people who NEVER took history classes in school, or at least no history classes in elementary school. What important context will be missing from these tales, and who will even notice that it's missing?

Have you noticed any instances of this in your own life that made your jaw drop a bit? Have you personally encountered schools no longer teaching history?

[mighty-mepoe]

Interesting (All Might) fic finds

Cute/Slice of life fics:

Slightly Cracked by Krisington

Really sweet, a bit bitter at the start.

The more Izuku made friends at UA, the more he realized that All Might was just as friendless as he himself had always been. Despite All Might's insistence otherwise, Izuku found this to be completely unacceptable.

Secret Identity fics:

Yagi-Sensei by Swiftwidget (or also HERE)

<3

A short drabble inspired by a post by alicekaninchenbau on tumblr. An AU in which "All Might" was not hired to teach at U.A. but instead Toshinori Yagi teaches Foundational Hero Studies and no one but Principal Nedzu, Recovery Girl, and Izuku know he is All Might. Toshinori actually does come through the door like a normal person.

Mr Yagi by Swiftwidget

Amazing, makes me smile every time.

Mr. Toshinori Yagi from the Second Secretarial Office: A kind, generous man with an uncanny knowledge about the Might Tower Staff who never hesitated to make their days brighter. At least, that's how they knew him. / Inspired by the Vigilante 006 Beta chapter in which Detective Tsukauchi meets Toshinori Yagi at Might Tower for the first time.

Missing Everything by Haptronym

Izuku misses a very important reveal and ends up with a villain-filled soda bottle instead. In the ensuing chaos, he befriends someone named Toshinori Yagi. All Might misses the chance to make a snap decision and ends up mentoring a very heroic, very determined child who has no idea who he really is.

No Such Thing As a Hopeless Case by Origamidragons

I read this fic ages ago and it has lived rent-free in my brain since then. Dead since 2019, but what is written is worth reading.

The story of how Toshinori Yagi (not All Might, Toshinori Yagi) singlehandedly defeated his archenemy's League of Villains by accidentally adopting them all. Or: Toshinori's gonna redemption arc everybody, just watch him.

GOT THIS POWER THAT IS TAKING ME OUT (shall I go now? you'll like it, you'll be the hero) by canbreathe, debesys (canbreathe)

Heart-warming.

<<"You do not have any kind of teaching qualification, do you Yagi-san?" "I, um," he desperately grabs at straws, "cleaning? I've done. Cleaning.">> All Might, or rather, Yagi Toshinori, becomes a janitor at U.A. It goes much better than expected.

Badass Small Might:

to measure time by sundefeater lou (sundefeater)

Dad Might becomes feral.

Five minutes. Five goddamned minutes. He had just wanted to restock some essential supplies at the nearby konbini while Izuku got some much needed rest with the aid of the last of the cold tablets and a cool compress. Or: Izuku is sick, the villains don't care, and Toshinori has had it up to here with these assholes.

Mr. Yagi by writers_writers

Beginning of manga-Bakugou learns some practical lessons.

With Aizawa still out of commission on the Monday after the USJ attack, the question is, who is going to teach Class 1-A. All might is out recuperating as well and the rest of the teachers are already stretched thin working on the security on top of their own classes. The kids are shaken and on edge from the devastating events the week prior and need someone with a steady hand and a kind voice to get them back to a sense of normality. It's a good thing that All Might's secretary offered to come in for the day just to keep an eye on them.

Yagi-san by soulofdarkandlight

All Might finds a way to be a hero without using his quirk.

When Nedzu asks All Might to retire, he surprisingly agrees. Little does he realize, it's All Might who agreed, not Yagi.

Harmony in War by Quisanne

(Restricted to AO3 users) Dad-Might and Dad-Zawa for your enjoyment. Also some Bakugrowth towards the end. I just love Aizawa's POV.

Aizawa and All Might go on a warpath to raze Aldera Middle School to the ground. A story in which Aizawa is the one smiling at people and All Might is the one intimidating everyone.

Dadmight:

The Best Day by Nicnac

So cute! All fluff with a tiny bit of angst in the predictable place. Worth a thousand reads.

All Might saves Izuku from the slime villain when the boy is only four years old. Things proceed accordingly.

Quirkless Yagi Toshinori:

Thunder by Hayato (TheLennyBunny)

Yagi Toshinori manages to become a quirkless hero in the harsh world of his youth.

This Autor has a whole mountain of amazing fics.

In this universe, he never meets anyone. He sits as an island, isolated, standing with stacks of notebooks and muscles gained from years of self-defense. He tells his middle school counsellor he wants to be a hero, and she laughs in his face.

Angst / Harsh fics (no bad endings):

Statistic by aconstantstateofbladerunner

When victims and bystanders are gaslighted into believing it's their fault, help is difficult to come by.

In a world where All for One was defeated the first time around, new villainous groups are constantly bubbling up just under the surface of society. New crimes need new tactics, so in an effort to flush out an alleged anti-quirkless group, All Might decides to go undercover as Yagi Toshinori, quirkless middle school teacher. But Toshinori hasn't been quirkless in a long time, and he learns the hard way how much things have changed.

Toshishan and Baby 'Zuku (I Know How the World Treat Us) by 18ems_girl

Super-cute! And it has some iteresting character studies.

A de-aging quirk affects Izuku and Toshinori and, while baby Izuku is happy to meet heroes, teen Toshinori is scared because he knows people treat quirkless kids awful.

Humour:

When Monologuing To Your Nemesis Goes Wrong by Ilentari

Crack. Also SPOILERS.

Ugh, he didn’t want to be subjected to this boring monologue anymore. Perhaps this was All For One’s plan? Rant to him until his ears began to bleed? All For One cleared his throat and started back up where he left off, and All Might sighed in irritation. “Why are you like this?” he groaned, wanting the villain to shut up. All For One initially had seemed annoyed by the interruption, but quickly brightened at the question. “I’m glad you asked!” He flourished his hands dramatically. “You see, once upon a time there was a baby born as evil as one could be—” That was stupid. All Might snorted. “Babies aren’t born evil.”

Take My Place on the Witness Stand by Quisanne

Hilarious. (Restricted to AO3 users) I also recomend the rest of the Series.

[Officer] Name, age, current address, and quirk, please, if you would. [Suspect] I'm afraid I can’t tell you most of these things. [Officer] Oh? And why would that be, I wonder? Would it allow us to track you down and find your stash of other stolen IDs? [Suspect] ...It's a matter of national security. [Officer] Yeah sure, and my mother is a late descendant of the Emperor. ----- OR: Yagi Toshinori gets arrested for having All Might's possessions on him and his friends are amazingly incompetent at getting him out. Maybe they're having too much fun with this.

The Torrid Affair of All Might and Yagi Toshinori by Speedwagons_Glorious_Mane

Super-fun.

It's the perfect cover. No one will ever suspect that All Might and Yagi Toshinori are the same person if everyone thinks they're dating.

Healing (literally):

Flashback by Psyckosama

Amazingly self-indulgent. A bit spicy at times. Really well written even if at first it seems it will be a chaotic fic.

On the day Izuku Midoriya was to receive All Might's quirk, the sacred torch of One for All, a young girl glowing with a corona of power runs up to the mentor and student yelling for them to stop as she desperately contains the energy within her. After pleading with Izuku to, impossibly, take One for All from *her*, she lays the weak and crippled Toshinori Yagi's hand upon her sparking horn and All Might is reborn in his prime. But who is this mysterious girl, how did she know the fateful exchange that would be taking place on that isolated beach, and what ominous portents does her appearance that day fortell?

[trojanteapot]

The writing blindspots in Infinity Train with respect to race

To get this out of the way, I love Infinity Train! It’s one of my favourite shows! I started writing fanfiction because of this show, and it still inspires me every day. 

I really do think that Infinity Train as a whole is a very thought provoking children’s show and I applaud it for exploring darker themes relevant to psychology and psychological well-being, which are topics often overlooked not just in children’s media but for adult media as well. However, I do want people to acknowledge some of its shortcomings, especially because it is a show that is dealing with such heavy and complex topics, and also positions its human characters as coming from a world which is pretty much a stand-in for our own.

Now I know that the storyboard artists for Infinity Train were quite diverse, but I don’t really know if it’s the same for the writer's room. The reason why is that as a POC viewer, it really does seem obvious to me from the way that the POC characters were written pre-season 4, that their race was mostly an afterthought.

Okay and to be perfectly clear, this is NOT A BAD THING. This is just a neutral thing. Obviously we don’t need every single story with POC characters to have to be about their experience as a specific racialized person. There are experiences that are shared among everybody no matter what race they are. I am not saying that you need to do super in-depth research into every single cultural nuance of every ethnic minority before writing them. It depends on if you really want to delve into how their heritage or traditions or specific life experiences inform their character arc. Not every character arc is about that. And it shouldn’t be!

With that being said, I do think that perhaps the writers should have tried to consider asking themselves very basic surface level questions on how being non-white would inform the problems and conflicts their characters would face. They don't need to know the ins and outs of each culture for each of their characters, but they could have just asked “How would I feel/react to others if people made weird assumptions about me based on my race? How differently would my parents raise me if they were afraid of prejudice or discrimination?” I think they should have reflected on that before setting in stone the backstories for their POC characters, especially with respect to Grace.

Part 1: GRACE'S PARENTS

So I am not Black myself, but I have had many conversations about Grace with one of my friends in fandom who is Black, and we both do get the sense that Grace’s race was very much just an afterthought to her characterization. To be clear, this is NOT because she has very wealthy parents. I am well aware that there are Black Americans with generational wealth. However, knowing what we know about affluent Black people in the real world, how Grace’s parents treated her makes absolutely no sense.

For example, among extremely wealthy people of any race, networking and knowing the right people is of the utmost importance. This is why so many rich people send their kids to prestigious private schools so their kids can get a heads start on knowing the progeny of other one-percenters. If you look up famous people with famous kids, chances are you’ll see a list of all of the very exclusive private academies that they all went to (looking at you, The Strokes). This is the case for wealthy people of all backgrounds, not just white people. And honestly, I imagine that the pressure is at least double for the kids of wealthy POC parents to get to know the right people as early as possible to be able to open as many doors as possible, in order to mitigate the inherent disadvantage of being a racialized person.

But what did Grace’s parents do? According to her, they never sent her to school of any kind, only having private tutors teach her, and her ballet instructor only made her join the other kids in her class once for a recital or something? This is, for lack of a better term... buck wild.

In addition, her parents are American diplomats. Diplomacy is an extremely people-oriented position. If anything, her parents would want her to not only be in the best private school, but to be the best student in school, to know the best people, to join the school clubs that all the other diplomats’ kids are in, and train her from a young age to be a social butterfly. Yes I know that diplomats will often leave their home country and be stationed somewhere else for long durations, and yes their kids could be taken out of school then, but some diplomats just enroll them in a different institution in the visiting country, or not take them out of school at all. This is what the IB Program was invented for, actually. Her parents being diplomats does not justify never enrolling Grace in school. In fact, it makes it less justifiable. 

The fact that they did the extreme opposite of that is so illogical to me that I wonder if perhaps the writers just cobbled together a whole bunch of tropes that they think apply to rich people without actually checking if any of it makes sense, doubly so for rich people who are non-white.

I think the reason why is because they wanted Grace’s parents to stifle her growth and her natural social skills, but on the Train, she can be who she truly is. I definitely agree that Grace finding herself and being able to truly blossom into the girlboss she is on the Train is a great plot point from a characterization perspective. However, I do not think that it should be because she was being stifled by her parents. The solution is staring the writers right in their face, but they can’t see it because it’s a blindspot for them.

What they should have gone with is: Grace's inability to become a social butterfly and a queen bee in her daily life is because she is a dark-skinned Black girl!!!

Her parents have extremely high expectations for her socially. They could have pushed her to make friends with kids she didn’t like just because they wanted to be on better terms with their parents for networking or diplomacy purposes – which they could have shown with that one girl from her ballet class. Missed opportunity! But no matter how hard Grace tries, she will never be seen as the perfect girl because of other people’s assumptions about her just based on her race. 

Once she’s on the Train, Grace then uses her people skills and finds that they’re a lot more effective there, because it’s no longer Earth’s society, it’s a different world, literally! Plus this even allows her to be a little bit more mean, a little bit more honest, something she wouldn’t be able to get away with in the real world without being punished for it harder than her white peers. We already see hints of this with how she interacts with Simon, a white guy who is the same age as her. 

CAVEAT: The dialogue where Grace reveals that she never went to school was something that she told Hazel in a private conversation. So it could be that she did go to school, but lied about it to seem more relatable to Hazel, who had never been around other kids before. Lying is in character for Grace because she would pretty much do anything to get on somebody’s good side. But the way that they had her voice actress deliver those lines, and the way that her expression changes when she talks about how lonely she was indicates that she was telling the truth. To be charitable, I suppose we can land on the reading that Grace told Hazel a half-truth. She did go to school, but she was frequently taken out of class or skipped semesters because of her parents’ jobs as diplomats. So her loneliness in that instant is at the very least truthful. Your mileage is going to vary on this interpretation of course.

This points to a weakness that I can sort of see in Infinity Train in general, where they push societal problems into purely the realm of personal failings. “It’s not because of society that Grace couldn’t succeed, it was solely due to her abusive parents” being just one example. 

Never forget this monologue from a Black father to his daughter in Scandal:

Part 2: JESSE'S ARC WAS PRETTY GOOD THOUGH

The thing is they actually did write a POC character having to deal with a problem that was society-oriented quite well, at least in my view. Although, I am still pretty sure it was still coming from a race-blind method of writing the characters. Otherwise I feel like Jesse’s status as an Indigenous American would have come up more than a grand total of one time. That they could do this well for Jesse makes the fact that they didn’t do the same for Grace quite disappointing. 

Jesse’s main issue that he had to overcome was he kept caving to peer pressure and had trouble saying no to others for fear of disappointment. Now, this problem is universal, and it’s not solely something that is specific to Jesse’s race or ethnicity or cultural background. In fact, I am quite certain that they wrote Jesse as a character without even considering that this problem he faces is relatable to POC experiences. But I definitely know a lot of POC in my life who do take on more responsibilities than they can manage, or feel a higher pressure to fit in with their peers. Hell, I’m that POC in many cases! It’s kind of like background radiation to us as minorities that we just have to do more emotional labour in order to be seen as equals. That’s just the reality of the situation. You can understand and relate to Jesse’s problem without being Indigenous/Native American, but at the same time it feels like a natural problem for him to have, because he is non-white!

I will admit that a personal blind spot of mine is I don't know and haven't had the chance to speak to too many Indigenous people, so there could be aspects of Jesse's arc that don't really make sense. If you are somebody who knows more than me, please feel free to correct me! I would love to hear how you felt about Jesse's characterization and arc as an Indigenous person!

Part 3: SEASON 4, THE ASIANS 

Alright now it's time to tackle stuff that I actually could have any ounce of authority talking about? Which is how they wrote Ryan and Min-Gi in Book 4. I myself am Asian-Canadian. Specifically, I am a first generation Chinese-Canadian but I've been in Canada since I was six so I find a lot of the experiences of second generation Asian-Canadians more relatable to me. In addition, my partner is fourth generation Japanese-Canadian, so his dad would be the same generation as Ryan's dad. (I also am really really into rock music, but that's besides the point.)

What they got right:

So first off, I could tell that they really did consult Asian people in writing this season, so good on them! The difference in how Ryan’s parents raised him in contrast to Min-Gi’s parents felt very natural and realistic to me. Ryan’s family is more westernized and has assimilated more into broader Canadian culture. 

The fact that Ryan has an English name and not a Japanese name immediately shows that. Min-Gi’s parents not choosing an English name for him is a bit of a surprise; very few Asian immigrants go without an English name back in the 20th century. Even nowadays it’s extremely common for us to go by English or Western names that we, or our parents chose, instead of names in our native language. But there are good reasons to not choose an English name. Perhaps Min-Gi’s parents wanted him to have a closer tie to his Korean roots, or perhaps if they travelled back to Korea to visit family it would be easier for them. 

Also, Min-Gi’s parents not supporting his dream of becoming a musician and want him to get a stable job in… I think it was finance? Definitely true back then as it is today. I’m not entirely sure how Ryan’s parents feel about his life choices, and we’ll get into that later.

The character arcs for Ryan and Min-Gi are excellent. This dichotomy of wanting to do the good, responsible thing that your parents want for you because they want you to have the best chance at a good life, and doing what your heart tells you to do, is an extremely relevant character arc. It’s a life decision that is not just an Asian thing, but something anybody can relate to. However, in East Asian cultures that were generally influenced by Confucianism, which includes both Korean and Japanese culture, upholding your duty as a child to not disappoint your parents in any way is something that Asian cultures are prone to emphasizing to a great degree. We see this in other media centered on the Asian immigrant experience as well, such as Kim’s Convenience, Turning Red, and Everything Everywhere All At Once.

What was a bit puzzling to me:

So I'll start off with the thing that definitely raised many many eyebrows if you were an East Asian or Southeast Asian watching the show: Why were Min-Gi's parents so friendly with Ryan's parents when they're Korean and Ryan's family is Japanese?!

So like, not to bring politics into it but… World War II happened. It affected, you know, the world and stuff. And in the Pacific Theatre (god I hate that term), the Imperial Japanese Army… invaded Korea?? Among many other countries??? And did a bunch of war crimes?????

Like, Japan was invading other countries well before WWII even started… This is common knowledge… for Asian people that is.

Yeah I know what you're gonna say. “But Ryan's family is Japanese-Canadian!! They wouldn't have done those war crimes! They would have been sent to internment camps!” Yeah dude, I know! My partner is Japanese-Canadian, remember?! And even if I didn't know him, we learned about the internment camps in history class. It's pretty common knowledge among progressives in Canada and the US. George Takei did a whole musical about it. 

But that's not how racism works. I can speak from personal experience that the scars of WWII trauma in Chinese and Korean communities run deep. Even my own parents needed a bit of convincing to be okay with me dating my partner, and my parents were born two decades after WWII ended. My partner said that one time when he and his grandmother got into an elevator with an elderly Korean woman, and at first she was friendly, but once she realized they were of Japanese descent, the elevator ride became deathly silent afterwards. 

So when you have Min-Gi’s parents, who were probably born during or slightly after WWII, immigrate to Canada, and then be like… totally okay and hunky dory pals with Ryan’s parents just because their kids were born the same day in the same hospital…? I mean sure, anything can happen. But it definitely speaks to how abnormally accepting, forgiving, and welcoming Min-Gi’s parents are. 

To be clear, this isn’t something that pulled me out of the experience, personally. Yes, it is strange, but it’s not impossible for a Korean family to be super okay and friends with a Japanese family. Maybe it’s because their small town has very few Asians and so they have to stick together due to solidarity or something. Maybe Min-Gi’s parents are the type of Christians that believe in the inherent goodness of everyone and giving everyone a chance. Maybe they are just extremely progressive and see Ryan’s family as Canadian more than Japanese (highly unlikely), or they know about the internment camps and that was enough to get over their biases toward them (also unlikely). I dunno, anything can happen.

The other thing that bugged me was that they really didn’t explore Ryan’s relationship with his family to the same depth as Min-Gi’s relationship with his family. 

They already set up the contrast of like, you have an immigrant who is more connected to their cultural background, and a third generation descendent who is less connected, and more alienated from his cultural background. That kind of stuff can really weigh on you as somebody who is a minority. You feel like you simultaneously aren’t Canadian enough because you aren’t white, and that you’re not enough of your cultural background because you had to assimilate, or were forced to assimilate. 

Yes it makes sense why Ryan would throw himself into his music, and be disconnected from his family. But they didn’t take the time to really explore why he is that way. Ryan barely talks about his family except randomly mentioning that they don’t care what he does with his life. I don’t even know if that really makes sense that they don’t care what he does? Maybe Ryan thinks they don’t care, but his assumption is wrong? Either way they don’t explore this point that much. Even if his parents were more assimilated they would still care if Ryan had a non-standard job, such as being a musician. There is a gap between Ryan and his family/parents that was alluded to, but not explored. Feeling like you come from two worlds but not neatly fitting into either is so quintessential to the immigrant experience of Canadians (and also Americans) it’s a shame they only paid lip service to it. 

I mentioned in a different post that Ryan would be monolingual while Min-Gi would be bilingual, and how this could cause tension between them. I imagine Ryan definitely feels inferior to Min-Gi in that sense of loss and disconnect with his heritage, just as Min-Gi is jealous that he feels he doesn't have the freedom to pursue his musical career in the same way that Ryan can. This is all stuff that can take a psychological toll on people, and is something which the Train as a metaphor for therapy should have been primed to tackle. But unfortunately we didn't really get that.

There is a term among the Chinese Diaspora known as “Hollow Bamboo (竹杠)” or “Rising Bamboo (竹升)” [more info]. It's an insult tossed at kids of Chinese ethnicity from judgemental adults for being unable to read/write Chinese or who cannot speak Mandarin/Cantonese/other Chinese languages fluently because they've been “too westernized”. They say we “look Chinese, but are hollow inside, like bamboo.” I don't know if there are equivalent terms for other Asian diaspora/immigrant communities but there must be. This term is controversial, and in my own opinion very unfair, because it blames the kids for this loss of cultural identity when there are so many different factors at play that makes them lose it, all of them outside of their own control. 

Again, I think this is a blindspot from the writers just not understanding how much this loss of cultural identity is such an integral part of the experience of being an immigrant, and that it's not only felt in first or second generation Asian-Canadians, but also third or fourth generation, and beyond. It's scary to go out there and redefine what your culture means to you, and how to pass it on to the next generation.

CONCLUSION

So there you have it, a summary of the strengths and the weaknesses in Infinity Train as it pertains to writing about racialized characters. Just want to restate that a lot of what I pointed out is pretty minor in the grand scheme of things and I do overall think the writing is solid. I am not going into this to say that I expected the writers to do a good job, because generally my expectations for media and pop culture to portray POCs respectfully is quite low. At least they didn’t fall back on tired stereotypes, which is a low bar to clear, but it is where the bar still is these days.

If on the off chance Infinity Train does get uncancelled and renewed for more seasons, I hope they take these lessons and craft better narratives for their POC characters. Maybe hire some more non-white writers while you’re at it!

[ivys-garden]

The thing that continues to shock me about the modern world is the multitude of ways we let cars ruin are lives.

Private cars continue to be a Blight, an obsession and focus on speed and size in car culture leads to accidents becoming more and more deadly.

Counties like China used to be completely dominated by bikes, now Beijing has some of the worse air quality in the world. Globally respiratory conditions in adults and children continue to rise. And co2 drives us ever closer to climate collapse

Switching to electric and hydrogen doesn't fix this either, parts still need to be mined, rubber still needs to be produced, as does plastic and old cars and bygone petrol stations need to be scrapped as many cannot be converted

Streets and cities used to be a place of community, but now they are dominated by cars. Want to go to the park? Sorry, it was torn up for a parking garage. Want to cross the road? Yeah, just wait ten minutes for all the cars to pass and get over in 10 seconds before someone decides that getting to mcdonalds is more important than traffic laws. Oh, and I hope you've not got a motor disability or are in a wheel chair or your royaly fucked.

Pedestrians used to have the right of way always, never cars. You never had to teach children to look both ways because cars were expected to stop. Of corse motor companies started paying schools to teach traffic safety and over the decades streets became devoid of people to the point where some see hanging around on a conner or playing curby as a crime.

Cars themselves cut of connections, drivers get ever more angry at simply mistakes and spend acumelate years of there life in traffic Jams. And don't think Lane expansions help, that just means the jam expands to meet the new capacity

The private car in the modern day is pointless and dangerous, cars do have a place, like for businesses or the police or I'd your disabled and public transport in nonaplicable, but other than that the car is of a bygone era

There's a reason that more young people don't buy cars and not just because there expensive and bad for the planet - though that is a factor - cars are simply to dangerous and difficult to use.

Edinburgh has experimented with banning cars from several Streets, reinstating conections and allowing kids to play. They up parking charges to dissuade people from using there car and clogging up the narrow streets, they instal low emissions zones to stop the most polluting cars entering.

And it works.

More and more people in Scotland are using public transport, the tram lines have been expanded, as have the train and bus routes. Travel becomes cheaper and these measure have begun to spread.

It's not just Scotland either, Ireland and prodigal have done similar. Brazil has expanded bike lanes to make cycling safer and introduced a bike share system.

Spain went even further and made train travel free and German citizens even tried to get Berlin to completely ban cars

The era of the car is ending, and the sooner people accept that public transport is safer, more affordable and better for the environment, the sooner and smoother the change will occur.

One day, when I'm and old lady sitting on by garden chair, I will look out and smile because coming down the street will not be and endless cavalcade of cars, it will be the odd company van, the single decker bus carrying passengers and merry children running down the streets.

Or you know we could keep using the car and literally destroy the world via climate change whatever you want really.

[nerdgirlnarrates]

So a fun thing that came up in therapy is how I have a lot of trouble believing that I can be in a long-term loving romantic relationship and how that relates to being told over and over that going into medicine would make me difficult to marry. There were other things about me that garnered this criticism (I was a weird kid growing up and had the typical weird kid experiences that make you believe you're unlovable), but it mostly revolved around wanting to go into medicine, and it mostly came from my parents. There was a lot of fretting over how men would struggle with a woman having such a demanding career and how they would be emasculated by my salary, etc. There was also fretting over how I should avoid ambitious men because it would make it even more difficult to balance careers, and this concern usually came with the message that the man's career is more important. Sometimes this was implicit, but sometimes it was explicit: at the beginning of med school, my mom told me I shouldn't date a classmate because "[their] career will come first." I once had a hypothetical discussion with my dad about what I would do if I had a disabled child who needed a parent at home, and his immediate response was "you can't ask a man to quit his job." Never mind the work you put in to your career, how much you like it, how your respective jobs impact household finances--you can't ask a man to quit his job. That's that. I was also asked repeatedly, and not just by my parents, if I would give up my job if my husband asked (no additional context was given, of course). When I said I wouldn't, I was accused of being unwilling to make any sacrifices in a relationship.

In retrospect, I think my parents thought they were preparing me for realistic relationship struggles. Obviously having a demanding job can create tension, and it created tension in their marriage when they both had demanding careers and small children. Ultimately my mom quit her job, for that and other reasons. But I think that decision was also due, in some part, to patriarchal assumptions about who should be at home and whose career matters. That assumption was passed along in the concerns they harbored about my career, and instead of making me feel prepared to deal with relationship stressors, I started believing I couldn't have a career and a marriage. I picked a career.

Medicine is deeply, deeply important to me, and it feels like part of who I am, and I can't imagine giving it up to be more appealing as a wife. I can't stop being someone who loves medicine and work. I don't want to be married for the sake of it or loved halfway; I want to be loved as what I am or I want to be alone. For years, it felt like I couldn't both want things and be married. To be married, I had to be ready to give up everything at the drop of a hat, throw out all my dreams and ambitions if someone asked. The context doesn't matter--I'm the woman, so I'm the one who quits. I'm the one who gives things up.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't stop wanting things: I want to be a physician and teach and work in sexual violence prevention for the rest of my life. I want to paint and write novels. And I don't want to give any of it up unless I absolutely have to. Worse, I want someone to actually like all those things about me rather than simply tolerate them. And I want to be seen as kind and smart and funny and interesting and attractive, and it's just too much. I want too much. I just don't think it's possible to want this much from life and from a partner. I've had some people tell me that what I want is fine and realistic, and I don't really believe them.

[thislovintime]

Photo by Matthew Asner:

“First day of school in 9th grade. I am nervous as hell because it is my first day of high school and it’s all new. I walk into my Social Studies Class and am greeted by the teacher who just happens to be Peter Tork of The Monkees. A guy I watched goofing around on TV religiously as a child was teaching me about the world. He was a tough teacher. We had a thing in his class where he would always think that I wasn’t paying attention. He would always make a point of stopping what he was teaching and say to me, ‘What did I just say`’ I would always answer him correctly and it always seemed to frustrate him. He was very smart and loved to read from Mao’s Little Red Book. I was truly happy for him when The Monkees started touring and he found success again. I took this picture in our schoolyard at New Dimensions High School.” - Matthew Asner (Ed Asner’s son), Facebook, July 1, 2023

“Since September he has been teaching English, math, drama, Eastern philosophy and ‘Rock Band Class’ at Pacific Hills, a private secondary school in Santa Monica, Calif. A college dropout, Peter got the job on the strength of his interview with Dr. Penrod Moss, the school’s director. ‘I like to hire people who are independent and creative,’ Moss said. ‘I was impressed by his personality and his ability to speak.’ […] While Tork the musician still has dreams of one day returning to the rock circuit, Thorkelson the teacher is happily planning his next course, ‘Mao, Marx and Mama.’ ‘I’m doing something important,’ he says. ‘I never do anything less than important.’” - People magazine, April 5, 1976

“For some time, [Tork] said, the students in his high school classes had trouble forgetting their teacher was once a teen idol. ‘Until I gave out a few F’s,’ he added, grinning.” - The Clarion Ledger, November 1, 1979 (x)

“I was a schoolteacher in Southern California, and I taught music as well as academics, and I really very much love to teach, and, and I think that if circumstances show me that I am not to entertain anymore or my entertaining career per se winds down, I would very, very much love to coach young entertainers.” - Peter Tork, Headquarters radio, September 1989

“[A]s a teacher, I realized that in order to teach something well you need to understand what your student is going through as they try to learn.” - Peter Tork, The Journal Times Online, August 12, 2005

On a 2018 blog post at the Monkees Live Almanac, one former student, Mark, commented: “Best high school teacher I ever had […]. Tremendous empathy.” (x)

“I taught English and social studies. And sure, the kids probably saw me as a Monkee, but they got over that in a hurry. Once I lost my temper at the kids, they’d see I was just like all the others — and I probably lost my temper too many times, since I was in an angry state back then. I have a life now, that’s the difference. I have a spiritual core. I’m not Shirley MacLaine but I believe in greater or lesser worlds and consciousness. Most people think of themselves as cut off from each other; others know there’s a connectedness that can be tapped into.” - Peter Tork, The Boston Globe, August 10, 1989

“In the mid-’70s, Tork got jobs teaching English, social studies and music at two private schools in the Los Angeles area. The first job, which he enjoyed, was at ‘a radical progressive school in Santa Monica.’ The second was at a school he describes as ‘a holding tank for budding fascists. I couldn’t hack it. I found more integrity in being a singing waiter’ — his next job.” - Los Angeles Times, October 20, 1992 (x)

More about that next job here.

[beauty-and-passion]

Beau!! Hello! How have you been?

My dearest! I'm sorry for taking this long to reply, but things happened, which means one thing and one thing only: time for a life update post. This time, with healthy tips included ✨

_________________

Sleep is for the weak (and the not-weak)

Last week my mother had knee surgery. She had to do it something like 5 years ago, but hey, better late than never.

The problem wasn't the surgery per se: that went well and she's currently in a clinic for a rehabilitation period, so she can be followed by professionals.

The real problem arose right after the surgery: for the first three days, she was supposed to recover, sleep and start working out asap. But she couldn't do shit, because her roommate was an older lady, who:

had just recovered from Covid but was still suffering from heavy coughs

had dementia and talked by herself all the time

was half-deaf

And that means every goddamn night, that lady kept coughing, snoring and talking. For the entire night non-stop. Loudly.

My mother spent three days without being able to sleep. She managed to get 3/4 hours of sleep in total. With a throbbing, constant pain in the knee because of the surgery.

She asked to be moved elsewhere since day one, but no other room was available. She waited for three days, protesting and crying, until the doctors finally managed to find another room and moved her in immediately.

Now she's still suffering from the pain, but at least she can get some sleep. And the sleep did wonders already: she can bend her knee some more, stand up longer, and do more exercises at the gym. So the moral of the story is that if sleep is important for a healthy person, it becomes essential after such an invasive surgery - and even more if you're stuck in a bed because you can't go anywhere else.

_________________

There is never enough time

This year I finally entered the list of teachers in my area. Thanks to my degree (and the course I followed), I have been able to apply for two positions: German teacher and/or special educator. However, I am also working on getting enough credits to apply for English soon because... well, it's the language I use daily. Even now.

English aside, I know there are a ton of people on that list, so I didn't expect to get a call very soon. And yet, I got one last week and it was for German! Hence why, now (and for a month) I will replace a German teacher in two different schools.

I made something like 6 lessons for now and immediately learned a lot of things, like:

Every student has a different vibe: there's the 16yo who is overexcited, the 17yo who is full of personality and the 18yo who is interesting on a human level. There's the aloof student, the one who wants to learn and the one who looks at you with the happiness of a dead fish.

Speaking of grammar, I don't remember shit about German. Hence why my first "teaching days" have been a race against time of me trying to summarize all the rules of the German language on slides. Imagine putting down all the rules of a language on slides. Now imagine doing it in 3 days, with the nagging fear of "what I will say to the kids next week" and a mother who is constantly crying because she cannot sleep. The word "stress" doesn't convey enough of what I experienced, I was on a tightrope.

There is never enough time. I barely entered the school and immediately found out there are councils to attend and tests to do and students need grades and I should plan them too - but I should prepare the lessons as well and 24 hours are not enough for all this shit.

My need to get everything under control is becoming even more compulsive than usual: every free moment is made of planning, planning and more planning. And yes, that's the reason why I disappeared from Tumblr and from life in general. Only now I am slowly trying to get some of my life back, because after that huge peak of stress, I really need to relax a bit and do something for me and me only - like writing.

_________________

Being healthy can be fun

I've always had symptoms of gastrointestinal reflux, like stomach pains, slow digestion, late meals and being a fast eater in general. And, of course, a goddamn cough that keeps tormenting me for the entire winter, only to magically disappear as soon as spring comes.

Hence why last year I finally went to a gastroenterologist. He too thought I had all the symptoms, but I needed some medical checks to be sure.

Also, since I was bloated and overweight, he told me to follow the typical diet of someone with reflux. Which means:

No milk and dairy products (except very aged cheese), no red meat (i.e. beef, pig), no seafood, no bread, no pasta, no cookies/sweets, no legumes, no fruit (only apples, bananas and kiwis allowed), no drinks except for water, no fried stuff and no spicy/too seasoned stuff

Yes to white meat (poultry, rabbit), fish, vegetables, gluten-free pasta, rusks, eggs

That meant changing A LOT of things. Before that diet, I was eating healthy stuff overall, but I was also eating milk, dairy products, bread, pizza once a week, legumes and a ton of fruits with seeds. Heck, my breakfast was cookies and milk only, every day. Two of the things I couldn't eat anymore.

But hey, the doctor said it, so I followed his advice: I came back home, ate the last piece of my leftover pizza for dinner and gave all the stuff I couldn't eat to my mother. Then I went shopping the day after and got all the "allowed" foods.

I have been following this diet for one year and a half by now. And if the first day I was asking myself "will it work" and "what the heck can I eat", now this is how I live. And a lot of things changed.

First, my breakfast was boring and repetitive. Now I have a ton of options: any kind of vegetable milk, from oat to almond. But also soy yogurt, hummus, rusks, overnight porridge, fresh fruit, almonds and walnuts with honey, aged cheese, prosciutto, bresaola or eggs with vegetables. And always a cup of herbal tea.

Herbal teas are a blessing: almost no calories, but fill up nicely. And I can make them with stuff that grows in my garden, like laurel or mint leaves. Even apple peels are great!

I didn't always eat vegetables before. Now vegetables are on my table 24/7: as a salad, with couscous, with rice, with gluten-free pasta, in a soup, with eggs, together or by themselves.

Vegetables fill you up WAY more than junk foods, for less calories and for a longer time. That means I always eat a full plate of vegetables (sometimes even two plates) and be full for hours, while still losing weight.

Before, I ate too much processed food. It looked healthy (like premade rice, fishsticks, frozen minestrone and so on), but it was not. It never is. That's what made me gain so much weight and I realize it now.

I rediscovered the pleasure of cooking my own meals. Now I cook once a day (for dinner only) and double the amount, so I have the next day's lunch ready. And still, it doesn't take a lot of time: the stove or the oven does most of the job, all I do is cut stuff with a mandoline slicer and put it on a pot/on a pyrex. Also, it's cheaper than premade foods: if I buy the raw ingredients, I spend less money and can make more meals.

Before, my meals were too complicated and I used too many ingredients. Now my meals are much simpler - and that's not just great for my digestive system, but for me too, because I can enjoy the single ingredients more. Also, it takes less time to cook.

In conclusion: what I feared would've been an oppressive regime with limited choices was instead a way for me to discover foods I would've never eaten otherwise. Brussel sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, rice cakes, oatmeal, hummus and Greek yogurt: those are all part of my life now and oh boy, how delicious they are.

In addition to the new diet, I also added a more serious exercise regimen. I am too lazy to go to a gym and I hate having people around, so I brought a yoga mat, put the gym clothes in the same spot and set on a daily alarm. Also, searched for different apps to guide me throughout the exercises and make a training session in my place.

I started with 20-min yoga sessions almost every day. Then added more beginner's training. Then tried tabata, moved to HIIT, then pilates. I just kept raising the bar and made my sessions last longer, until it became a routine. And now my routine includes:

20 min HIIT training (I switch focus between cardio, abs and core, lower and upper body)

20 min pilates

20 min yoga

I follow it 3 to 5 times a week, but I also walk more, use the bicycle and take the stairs. This alone would be pointless, if I am not as active as possible the rest of the day.

The result? I am 153 cm (5ft) tall and before I started this new regime, I weighed 64 kg (141 lb). Now I weigh 46kg (101 lb). I lost 18 kg in total and it has been a constant, slow change. At first 2 kilos every month, then one, sometimes not even one.

And during all this time, I never had huge expectations. I didn't even step on the scale for a long time. I just kept following the diet and doing sport and enjoying it. My only goal was to not get the winter cough.

I didn't even notice real changes, until after a while. They came all together and one day, all my pants were too loose and clothes that were too tight before now fit me perfectly.

And now I still keep that chill attitude: I plan my meals at the beginning of every month, so I can be sure of what to eat every day (also, it makes me happy to know what tasty meal will wait for me). I keep doing my exercises, because they help me relax (especially in these last stressful days).

And yes, once in a while, I get a treat not included in my diet. I mean, a diet is supposed to be what you habitually eat, not a temporary thing: it's only fair there may be things you're not supposed to eat too - like sweet treats, seafood, some dairy stuff or a pizza. What matters is that I can control myself, so I know that I get this treat now, but the rest of the time I will stick to my diet.

And, honestly, most of the time I don't even crave these things. I can eat just some and be okay. I am far from starving, after all, especially if I get some nice food, like today's meal: basmati rice with peas, Brussels sprouts, zucchini and pepperoni for a total of 500 grams aka 2 full plates. As I said, starving is out of question :P

So the moral of the story is:

If you're trying to lose weight and you're doing everything right but still don't lose it, seek medical help. I had no idea what I was doing wrong, until I checked with an expert.

If you get a diet, stick with it religiously, especially at the beginning. Ran from all temptations, because they can be very strong - especially at the beginning. Then you can come back and face them, when you will be in control.

Do some sport, especially yoga. It doesn't just help you lose weight, but clears your mind and makes you feel better. And don't push yourself too much: you're supposed to do it more times a week, so just start slowly and build resistance. It's better to do a little every day, than give your full self one day and recover the next 2 weeks because you're too sore. Once you will get enough strength, you will be the first to realize you want to do more.

Have fun and chill. Results won't come the day after, just do your things, eat good food and do some good exercise. And enjoy life in general: it would be all pointless, otherwise.