#scholarly stuffs
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I am officially published.
An academic chapter on JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood.
It's been over a YEAR since it was accepted on concept.
I am SO excited about it
#jojos bizarre adventure#scholarly stuffs#phantom blood#its on mediating transgressive identity through the neo-Victorian vampire#aka Dio#do with that what you will
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oh well it's probably fine
#i wanna put the first one in something bigger but it'll take a while until i figure it out😭#aph russia#hetalia#hetalia gangsta#gangstalia#ivan braginsky#this is wrapped in multiple hc layers. anyway yada yada childhood dreams the mechanic business (mentioned in gangstalia) is a front lolll#general winter isss his predecessor in the position of district representative ? he's semi aware of this. tee hee.#based on the interview style illustration of him saying he'll probably do what his uncle does and that he#doesn't let himself like too much stuff in particular (according to gay translator app)#myart#sorry i put child rusi in different clothes. i really don't like his canon illustration gayfit sue me#vague academy bs mentioned just because they looked cute and scholarly in that first child drawing of the big 5❤️
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Tell me something about your niche special interest. I'll go first
Plague doctors had existed since the initial major spread of bubonic plague in the 1300s, but the iconic beaked mask did not exist until the mid 1600s when it was invented by royal physician Charles de Lorme of France. Most plague doctors weren't even doctors - typically they were volunteers, whether they had a medical background or not, who were willing to interact with infected patients and were paid well to take census of the living, dead, and infected. In some cases, they would also peddle "treatments" to patients for extra coin. Some of these may have been genuine attempts at treatment, such as bloodletting to balance the humors, but some may have simply been scams to get extra money from wealthy patients, such as injesting crushed gemstones or bathing in mercury.
Actual medical professionals of the time were physicians, who were mainly scholars interested in expanding medical knowledge, and barber surgeons, who were more common as general practitioners. One notable known plague doctor had no medical background whatsoever, he just took on the role after his fruit stand went bankrupt.
#from the desk of anachron#plague doctor#finding reliable sources on this stuff is very difficult#most of my information comes from a couple of older accounts from scholarly articles#i'll have to look for them again for sources
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I love trying to do historical research, you want an answer to a simple question like "could Jews serve in the British army in the 1880s" and you get back
Jews in the American Revolution
Jews in the American Civil War
Jews in World War I
Jews who fought for Nazi Germany
Thanks, that absolutely covers the time period and country I specifically asked for, couldn't have done it without you
#nobody wants to give me british military info for ANYTHING between the Crimea and WW I anyway#which is why I'm fucking stalled and can't plot this story any further bc my mc starts the story as a fucking soldier#and if he's still in the military later that will obviously hugely impact the story#but I can't make that decision because my time period is Screwed apparently#even when you specifcially search for FIRST boer war or use the more common 'transvaal rebellion' they STILL will only give info on the 2nd#and yes I've read 2 books about it which are the only sources of info on the war in the entire world and still need more info#but even just trying to figure out if one of the background characters could be jewish or not will never be figured out either#bc any info on the british military-- even its career structure-- is somehow nonexistent#I've even checked my college library#either people are purposely hiding this stuff#or there's some magical code word I have to apply to get even scholarly sources to reveal it to me#attempts to find people who know about it#or even contact a historical consultant have also not worked#historical consultants can only be reached by tv producers who must swear to then disregard anything a consultant might tell them
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It’s hard to be a hater against someone who’s been dead for so long. I can’t bully Marie Louise off of twitter. Because of woke. And also because she’s been dead for like, a whole bunch of slutty slutty years.
#Marie Louise#seriously if we want to psychologically analyze me real quick#I think it’s just - while napoleon sucked and people were victimized under the ancient regime and during the terror and stuff#I think it’s just…the way people hate characters in a novel for being annoying more than they hate the genocidal maniac villain?#because a lot of us are privileged thank god to never have to speak in person to a genocidal villain#I’ve never spoken in person to a genocidal lunatic#but I do speak to bad parents all the time#so I just have an instinctual dislike that is waaaaay too personal for someone I’ve never even looked a#like Charlotte Corday it’s just a matter of I should never write about her professionally#because I am 100% biased and would 100% want to slug her in a Denny’s parking lot#which isn’t rational or balanced or scholarly
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Thor: Loki wastes two days reading some tome and I get the lite version in a 5 minute rant when the information actually becomes immediately relevant. I’m the winner here
#people think Thor’s not smart but that’s not true he’s getting all the info in less time at a better time so he’s actually smart ultra#Thor just doesn’t vibe with books I’m telling you if asgard had informative plays he’d be scholarly#instead he deals with Loki explaining stuff with cool images and everything#why would he bother reading a book when he can ask Loki about something and get a sparknotes summary#he’s playing to pass not to struggle
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i care a lot about them going to mt rokkon together
#ffxiv#i should have a gpose tag#ffxiv gpose#oc: eyrie kisne#oc: ol'ver#they're bonding! it's jsut scholarly adventures for ol'ver and eyrie kills the menacing stuff along the way#hancock is there too ig#ol'ver and him squabble while eyrie trails behind them and they all get to have some nice adventures#maybe i'll revisit stuff on other paths with them after DT#it's nice that eyrie gets to see what their son is passionate about and more of the country he called home#and it's nice for ol'ver to get to spend time with his father#forgive me if these look messy its 232 am
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Just found out I could completely skip doing my final project in my film crit class and still pass with an A,,,, I'm not gonna do that because I actually like my professor but it's crazy how giving myself permission to purposefully write the shittiest paper I've ever written in my life with absolutely no consequences actually makes the assignment FUN
#film shit#I have a 99 in the class and a 0 on this paper would bring me to a 93 which is amazing#Huge weight off my shoulders fr#I am actually interested in the prompt like I'm writing three essays on the usage of framing by the films Casablanca and Moonlight#in order to influence the emotions of the characters and thus the audience#which is already stuff I talk about irl daily so it's fun#I'm just dreading having to make it all official and using scholarly sources. Why can't I just source my own emotions huh what about that#Source: I feel it bro
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One bit of housekeeping for this year's liveblog: normally I refer to Deryn exclusively with she/her pronouns because that's what the book uses, but this year I'm going to switch it up because I really like all the different gender interpretations that come with the territory of this character. So for any chapters that are Alek's Third Person Limited POV, I'm going to use Dylan and he/him; for any chapters that are Deryn's Third Person Limited POV, I'm going to use Deryn and she/her; and for my own thoughts unconnected to any lines in the text (mostly found in the tags of my posts, tbh), I'm going to use Deryn and they/them.
(When we get to Goliath that might change a bit with Alek's POV but we'll see how I feel when we get there.)
#lily liveblogs leviathan 2024#I just don't want to be beholden to canon gender stuff anymore. it's been over ten years I think I can play with it a little#especially in the context of my own reread#granted I'm treating this as semi-scholarly analysis so I don't want to go ham but still
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it's funny how, when i was in college, one of the reasons i decided not to go into academia
was because i did a semester of research with this computational linguistics research prof who i really liked
and the [redacted research project] went totally fine, but i couldn't shake the feeling of "ok tho, this seems to mostly consist of doing some funky transformations on the corpus of The Entire Internet, which is cool and all, but it doesn't feel like i'm... adding... much... to our understanding of the universe? doesn't this feel like Garbage In, Garbage Out to anyone else? sure, it's kinda neat that i can do some funky transformations on stuff i pulled from [basically-Reddit], but that's all it is?"
and then, years later, LLMs blow up and it's like. joke's on me buddy, do you know how much hype you can milk out of doing a couple funky transformations on stuff you pulled from Reddit
#ai#hilariously that prof moved further and further away from compling/ml proper as his career progressed#and instead has done a ton of work on libraries/archival/scholarly communication stuff#imo he made the right choice. way more interesting area. loved talking to him about it
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when people complain about getting like, a 98% grade on something because it was "so close to perfect" its like. i understand what you're saying on a technical level. but that is a line of thought so far away from my experiences and ways of thinking that i do feel like im from another planet. 100% isnt even a real number to me
#i kinda understand when its something like a multiple choice test or something where there is an objective answer#it might feel like u got so close but just missed one#again still a bit alien to me because my scholarly performance is mysterious and anything over 70 is great to me#but i mean ive had a 98 before once in a math test. i did get exactly 1 bit of 1 question wrong#but i didnt really care that it was one off from perfect i was too busy being happy because that was the highest mark id ever received#and the previous math test i had taken got a 53% . grade 11 was a wild time for me in math class GHJKSHFKds#anyway i kinda see where ur coming from with stuff with right or wrong answers like that#but i sometimes get friends in class complain that they got a 95 or something on an art assignment#because they think they got docked 5 points for one or two little things#but i dunno. thats not really how fine arts departments in university tend to grade things#you dont start at 100 and get docked marks for things you got wrong. i dont think ive ever seen a 100% on something like that#tbh the numbers are a little arbitrary i find. i do prefer to try to get em higher because that helps with grants and stuff#but the numbers dont mean all that much in fine arts or in art history (my two majors) a 75 and a 95 can function the same depending on lik#weighting and context and feedback and whatever. i dunno its a wild world out there#it might just be the perspective of someone who did really goodbad in school. (GoodBad (tm) its when ur good but also kinda bad at school!)#compared to someone who got a lot of perfects in mandatory schooling. i sympathise i really do that kind of pressure sounds insane#but while i sympathize i cant really empathize as much unfortunately with this specifically orz its a world very far outside my purview!#100%s arent real to me so they never cross my mind to be worried about LOL
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In small joys, I finally hit my reading goal for the first time in a few years! I've been setting it at 12 (so like a book a month) for a while, which is realize isn't a lot but I'm more concerned with building the habit and making it achievable. These are mostly novellas (sub-200 pages), loosely in order of how much I enjoyed them from greatest to least
#and i've still got time to surpass it! i'll probably bump it up to 15 for 2025#i've got a miles long TBR list that im hoping to crack into#i do read other stuff but i dont track short stories or scholarly articles#i also dont track audiobooks but i listen to a looooot of ghost stories and weird fiction. my bff horrorbabble <3#top row made a HUGE impression on me but i would pretty much recommend all of these though they vary pretty widely by genre and YMMV#the only one i really actively disliked was others were emeralds. i really bounced off lang leav's style unfortnately. just not for me
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You know, very rarely do I run into accounts of historical cannibalism that are completely new to me. But I did today and I'm frankly completely taken aback by this
Fro the article: "The Guangxi Massacre comprised a series of lynchings and massacres in the Chinese province of Guangxi between 1967 and 1968, during the Cultural Revolution. The official record shows an estimated death toll between 100,000 and 150,000. Methods of murder included beheading, beating, live burial, stoning, drowning, boiling, and disemboweling. In specific areas, including Wuxuan County and Wuming, Nanning, hundreds of incidents of human cannibalism occurred—even though no famine conditions existed. According to records that have been made public, at least 137 people were eaten, with thousands of people having participated in the cannibalism... In 1993, The New York Times stated that the incidents reported from Guangxi were apparently the most extensive episodes of cannibalism in the world in the last century or more. They were also different from any others in that those who took part were not motivated by hunger or psychopathic illness. Instead, the actions appeared to be ideological: the cannibalism, which the documents say took place in public, was often organized by local Communist Party officials, and people apparently took part together to prove their revolutionary ardor."
#I knew about the desperately bad famine conditions in this period so when I saw 'cannibalism during the cultural revolution'#that's what I assumed this was and from a historical viewpoint that's pretty normal and not particularly newsworthy#but this was something Totally Different#I had Never heard of this and frankly its so extreme that I don't even have another case to even really compare it to#and you know me I am not at all flustered by cannibalism but this bowled me over#the normalcy of the circumstances and within a homogeneous ethnic and cultural environment?#the scale?#the recentness? like my parents were alive when this happened#its on the level of other inexplicably extreme violence (rwanda or the french revolution) but generally those situations don't end#with fun family patriotic-solidarity-barbecues of the victims afterwards#I was so in disbelief I went looking for scholarly stuff on this because it just felt so extreme like it had to be be exaggerated#but legit research came up (mostly from the 90s when this story apparently broke globally)#I'm still not over this#at least this is something you can throw at the 'eat the rich' people next time they want to glorify guillotining throw pillow owners#guangxi massacre#history
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Here's the tentative outline of the TSG paper, as okayed by the professor whom I've been discussing the project with:
intro to the trend of recent adaptations/retellings reframing TSG as a story about grief
an assertion that the book is really about healing from childhood e m o t i o n a l n e g l e c t (CEN) (my thesis?)
defining CEN and distinguishing it from traditional grief
an analysis of CEN in the text
how this interacts with what these adaptations/retellings are doing
conclusion about the importance of the text’s depiction of CEN and why it’s worth acknowledging/exploring
It's a relief to pin this down and be able to go into this with some kind of focus. I've already got a start on the first paragraph. I'm trying a method of drafting by just constructing the basic argument and then working in all the evidence and research later. My college papers tended to take forever to write because I drafted them with Finished Perfection in mind for each sentence, which is stressful and easy to get bogged down with. We'll see how it works. The paper needs to be completed by October, probably the end of the month at the very latest, but I'd like to get it finished in enough time to fully polish and not have to stress about a tight deadline.
I can do this. Probably. It's been a few years but I might still have it in me.
#random personal stuff#of course I write mini-essays here all the time!#but those aren't presented as scholarly with proper citations and you guys presumably forgive me if I'm not clever enough#Dr. B. (the one who tried to rope me into that roundtable presentation) is already talking about#trying to get some of my old papers published in a journal#or working on a book#she is so full of enthusiasm and confidence and grandiose ideas that it's both impressive and kind of terrifying#don't know if I really want to do any of these things#I mean even assuming a journal would want my work (which isn't really on that level I think) what would be the point#I used to want to be an academic but lost that after the thesis and everything before that#the last time I was working with a professor who wanted me to do Grand Things...it didn't end well#and of course Dr. B. is nothing like That Man and would not have his motivations#but all the same I don't want to commit to anything on this level for the foreseeable future#I'm just writing a paper so I can present it at a convention because that's about the only thing I can do that makes anyone proud#got to justify my existence somehow
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therapy was “helpful” and I “liked it” and sigh I’ll “keep going”
#I like my therapist a lot#the one point where we disagreed today is she feels it’s probably not ideal to read every single book available on a topic#so as to be able to make informed decisions#I was like ok MAYBE it’s a way of exerting control but ALSO I can just have a scholarly interest in mapping the critical landscape ok#it’s fine no one agrees with me on this point lol liz is always like not another rabbithole#but idk I am always trying to explain that like#having more information actually makes me feel more free to do whatever#because instead of having one fixed idea about the ‘right’ way to do something#I can explore/evaluate a ton of different ways of doing something#and see that they all basically lead to the same decent outcomes even if by different routes#and so then I can be like well I’ll just do what feels best/works best for me and not worry so much about if it’s the ‘right’ way#I feel like maybe it’s an anxiety behavior but the outcome is significantly less anxiety over day to day decisions#🤷♀️#however maybe this is one of my ‘cognitive distortions’ lol#I did start getting really panicked at the thought of being told I couldn’t research stuff lol
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Every day I am more and more upset I didn’t write that research paper on parasocial relationships in social media a whole decade ago.
#possibly my biggest regret in life#the writing was on the wall. but no one has started researching it#*HAD started#twitter was only a couple years old. same with instagram. but I saw it. it was there#i needed proper scholarly sources so I switched topics#but god the world is in worse shape than I had predicted in 2013#yes this is partially prompted by the whole watcher thing where people seem far too heartbroken#for it to truly be a healthy fan reaction. but also I was just in some tarot tags#and I'm always so confused by the popularity of celebrity tarot. where people request readings on celebs relationships and stuff#especially in kpop there's an entire active 'kpop tarot' tag#now that's something I definitely did not see coming a decade ago. but it's still part of the larger symptom#god if only I could have been at the forefront of research and be a prominent sociologist of this field#in an alternate universe that paper would have been written and maybe I'd have revisited it doing a phd or something#I still remember my teacher asking if parasocial was a real term and that the topic was too niche#it was. it definitely was. I'd have been miserable writing 20 pages on it. but still. I knew what was on the horizon#it's just that what I thought was a wave is actually a tsunami
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