#scatterpatters incorrect quotes generator

[alt-king]

My whole blog is just practically incorrect quotes at this point, but I don't care because I enjoy doing them. :)

These ones feature Eivor and Ivarr with their two collective brain cells.

Eivor : *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Ivarr: *chugs entire bottle*

Ivarr: It’s perfume.

-

Ivarr: So are we flirting right now?

Eivor: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU!

Ivarr: That doesn’t answer my question.

-

Eivor : WHAT’S YOUR TYPE!

Ivarr: Anything, honestly, but blondes especially.

Eivor, desperately, as Ivarr bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

Ivarr: Oh! B positive.

Eivor: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

-

Eivor : Violence isn't the answer.

Ivarr: You’re right.

Eivor : *sighs in relief*

Ivarr: Violence is the question.

Eivor : What?

Ivarr, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Eivor , running after them: NO-

-

Eivor and Ivarr skipping stones on lake*

Eivor : It’s such a beautiful evening.

Ivarr, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

-

Ivarr: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Eivor: Twelve, actually.

Ivarr: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Eivor: Yours!

Ivarr: That's right: no one's

-

Ivarr: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Eivor: Ivarr, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

[emilyrox]

Charlie: Just be yourself.

Sir Pentious: 'Be myself'? Charlie, I have one day to win Cherri Bomb over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Angel Dust: Couple weeks.

Husk: Six months.

Alastor: Jury’s still out.

Sir Pentious: See, Charlie?

Sir Pentious: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

[highfalutin-son-of-a-gun]

Jack: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him ?

Davey: YOU DID WHAT—

Race: William Snakespeare.

[incorrectfbaaquotes]

Casteel: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures. Delano: What the fuck? Kieran: He's having an idea.

[qsmpincorrect]

Bad: You know those things will kill you, right?

Cellbit, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Roier, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Jaiden: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

[6ien]

haven't posted anything in a while..

[blinkinbrothershark]

Jack, with all the newsies sitting in a circle around him: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Smalls: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Jack, in genuine awe: Outstanding.

Jack: This is what I’m talking about people.

[slytherinlizzy]

Duskwood Incorrect Quotes pt.5

~♡~ Valentine's Day Edition ~♡~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lilly: Hey, Jake? Can I get some dating advice?

Jake: Just because I'm with Mc doesn't mean I know how I did it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hannah: Why are Mc and Jake sitting with their backs to each other?

Lilly: They had a fight.

Hannah: Then why are they holding hands?

Lilly: They get sad when they fight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mc, pointing: May I sit there?

Jake: That's my lap.

Mc: That doesn't answer my question, Jake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mc: ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!

Jake: ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!

Mc: HOW DARE YOU, JAKE?!

Jake: HOW DARE YOU, JAKE?!

Mc: I'M BEAUTIFUL!

Jake: Damn right you're love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Jake says: Are you being done holding a grudge?

What Jake means: I'm sorry. I just want to hug you from behind and bury my face in your neck. I want to get tangled up on the couch and kiss you and play with your hair and fall asleep next to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Texting with Jake

Mc: I wanna sleep with you.

Mc: But like in the innocent way.

Mc: ...

Mc: Get your bitch ass over here and cuddle with me you little shit!

Jake: Damn girl, calm down, I'm putting my shoes on.

Mc: <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Texting with Jake

Jake: The studies show that you are the most amazing person in the world.

Mc: Source?

Jake: Me. ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ladymiraclewings]

Ragatha, about Gummigoo: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Jax: Are we stealing them? Kinger: New or used? Pomni: Wonderful responses, both of you.

[musical-theatre-incorrect-quotes]

Misha: Rules are made to be broken.

Ocean: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Constance: Uh, piñatas.

Ricky: Glow sticks.

Jane: Karate boards.

Noel: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Misha: Rules.

Ocean:

[gay-dorito-dust]

Reader: name a more iconic duo then my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.

Adam, genuinely trying to bringing you comfort: you and me!

Reader, tearing up: okay.

[alt-king]

Eivor: I'm adopting a child.

Ceolbert: That's gre-"

Eivor: *Slams adoption papers down on the table* It's you, sign here.

[emilyrox]

Angel Dust: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Charlie: >:O language

Niffty: Yeah watch your fucking language

Husk: OKAY WHO TAUGHT NIFFTY THE FUCK WORD?

Vaggie: 'The fuck word'.

Alastor: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Niffty: Oh my god he censored it

Vaggie: Say fuck, Alastor.

Niffty: Do it, Alastor. Say fuck.

[highfalutin-son-of-a-gun]

Jack: *accidentally hits Davey in the face*

Jack: *trying to decide between ‘im fucking sorry’ and ‘are you okay’*

Jack: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Davey: What’s wrong with you?!

[cheridraco]

harry: so what do you do?

draco: I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers

harry: wow, impressive

draco: then I'll move on to virgos

[qsmpincorrect]

Fit: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Pac: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.