#says girl who only goes by two users on the internet.

[serenityofwitches]

and if u think anything is well hidden enough, just remember im out there. 🙂

[hadesoftheladies]

I've been seeing some bad faith critcisms on separatism lately, but I will say I don't think it's entirely for no reason. for one, most radblr users don't read theory. it's not unique to radblr. It's just internet culture. most people just reblog quotes. So not only do we have a lot of radblr users that are unfamiliar with radical feminism as an actual theory, but you have a lot who simply don't know how to conceptualize separatism.

I'll be honest, separatism as a subject is confusing. It has many forms, many iterations and interpretations, and it makes sense that many feminists from all sorts of backgrounds get hung up on the details.

So all I'm going to do is clarify my stance in relation to Marilyn Frye's work:

There is no pure separatism. Not in feminist discourse, at least. Separatism as a concept is ALLOWED to be varied. Not marrying a man is separatism. Not living with one is separatism. Not listening to male musicians is separatism. Many feminists can and will disagree.

HOWEVER, I examine the use of separatism, like all other feminist actions, based on how it tackles the primary modes of female oppression by male persons: reproductive, sexual and domestic exploitation. In short, how effective is this strategy in limiting or eradicating men's reproductive, sexual, economic and domestic control over women? This is also what Marilyn Frye is talking about when she defines "sexual access" as the ultimate form of male dominance and patriarchal power. Sexual relations is the primary medium for male brutality and control. Understanding that is KEY to understanding female oppression.

Marriage is historically and institutionally a primary mode of women's exploitation. Just like prostitution and motherhood. Women are disenfranchised, disempowered and de-radicalized in marriages. They are more easily exploited (sexually, reproductively and domestically) and isolated (especially due to imbalance in domestic labor).

I also examine the effectiveness of feminist strategy not only by how it disempowers male dominance and control, but how it empowers female agency. Things that empower female agency are: same-sex spaces and programs, female solidarity, judicial and legislative power, economic power, etc.

By these two metrics, I argue that separatism, that is divesting from male hegemony in any way and centering female solidarity in any way, IS useful feminist action AND a worthwhile strategy BUT NOT a cure-all.

I get a little annoyed when non/anti-separatists discuss separatism as worthless or unserious because it cannot be done in total or even because it is difficult. All activism is brave and difficult because it goes against the status quo.

I won't speak for all separatists, because opinions will vary, but here's what I think:

When I call separatism or celibacy a preventative measure, I AM NOT equating it to being THE solution or THE ONLY solution. Separatism will not stop a woman from being raped BUT IT WILL REDUCE HER CHANCES OF DOMESTIC AND SEXUAL EXPLOITATION ENDEMIC TO THE SPHERE OF HET-MARRIAGE/DATING. The same way abstinence will not make your coochie immune to STD'S, just make the chances of encountering them less likely. All we can ever work with as humans is ODDS not CERTAINTIES. Decreasing the odds of being raped happens when you decrease the OPPORTUNITIES of being raped, and MOST RAPE IS DONE BY MEN WITH INTIMATE ACCESS TO WOMEN ESP IN MARRIAGE AND DATING.

Some of y'all straight up sound like that condescending ad for Bumble saying "You know celibacy is not the answer." It's AN ANSWER. One that works for very many women.

"But what about the women who can't?" Wherever they are, the conversation is clearly not about them. It's clearly about the women who can. No separatist is out here lecturing women and girls being forced into marriages about feminism to begin with. No separatist is blaming the women in Iran and Afghanistan for what the Taliban is doing to them.

Every woman and girl at some point knows that fear--when recognizing the ever-present threat of male violence--while a rational response, cannot be the solution. To live in fear will be akin to not living at all. It makes no sense to tell women to avoid every space a man may be in. Idk which separatist on here is saying that, but I would disagree with them. That would explicitly weaken other urgent feminist agendas such as acquiring economic and political power, so no I don’t think or support separatism in that sense. That is a decontexualized exaggeration of what most radblr separatists are saying. Fear should not control us but IT SHOULD INFORM US.

WE KNOW men are unavoidable. But the legally binding and socio-economically significant contract of MARRIAGE is avoidable for most of us, especially tumblrinas like let's be serious. WE KNOW that women do not choose whether or not they are victimized, but there are contexts and situations where your odds can increase or decrease. How safe a woman is when it comes to male violence is SIGNIFICANTLY dependent on HOW DEPENDENT SHE IS ON A MAN. Separatism is not, for me at least, a conversation on PROXIMITY but a conversation on DEPENDENCY. Something libfems and choicefems are NOTORIOUS for scapegoating. Women are likely to be endangered by a man if they are at his mercy at any given point and in any given sphere. So, the feminist's goal is to limit that dependence, in the work-force, government, and interpersonal dynamics.

The question of proximity is ALSO NOT (for me) about whether or not rubbing shoulders with a man on the bus will give me evil male cooties, but whether or not my female socialization will kick in and I will end up deferring to him and his needs instead of myself. THAT IS THE VULNERABILITY. Not that men exist, but that women so easily resort to fawning and pouring energy and effort into men for SIMPLY BEING THERE AS A MAN.

Women and girls need female-only spaces to combat female socialization. Without unlearning female socialization, female empowerment is moot. That's just the truth. You'll give a woman an education or a job, and she'll throw it all away for a man. We've all seen this happen. Separatism as a transitional phase is still vitally important.

To say that separatists are victim-blaming for suggesting that women DO have some say and some agency when it comes to protecting themselves is just ludicrous and absurd.

Not everyone can escape cancer. Sometimes it's genetic. Sometimes it's the air you breathe. You don't have total control, but YOU CAN REDUCE YOUR ODDS.

That is the point of a preventative measure. It is not a guarantee, it is just an extra safety net. Some men can and will cut through it, but to act like women can't do anything about it but try appease men, I find, on some level, insulting.

Because men are not these immovable or invulnerable creatures. Our freedom does not depend on their sympathy or moral sense. Case in point: history. Rehabilitating oppressors is not what got any marginalized group their freedom. Some of you sound like MRA's where the only chance women have is gonna come from convincing men and I'm just not sold on that idea like at all.

So am I saying we don't need male allies? Also no! I don't see why this has to be a fucking either or!

The primary fixation of separatist discourse should not be "abstinence" but "decentering." De-centering men in our lives, finances, decisions, etc. Because women are an important, perhaps the most important unit in the patriarchal machine. It is our loyalty to men, our worship of men, our efforts poured into men, that have facilitated the exploitation of our own sex. Being complicit doesn't mean we're any less victims. They are not exclusive in this case. When non/anti separatists deride “utopic separatists communes” that is also, to me, a distraction from the main argument. Men drain our resources in close proximity. Living in an apartment complex with only female residents doesn’t have to stop me from participating in the mixed-sex labor market or mixed-sex liberation movements. It just means that ultimately, whatever effort I am putting into either won’t jeapordize me because I am not going home to perform unpaid domestic labor or share my own wealth with a man. If anything, a female-only space empowers me more than not to effect change in the world.

Furthermore, foregoing marriage is NOT THE SAME as foregoing love. You can have a romantic relationship with a man and NOT COHABIT with him. You don't have to buy a house together or make yourself more vulnerable either financially or otherwise for the sake of proving your love or living up to this enforced ideal of what love ought to look like. You can have a fulfilling loving community and life OUTSIDE of romance, too! Like why tf are we still essentializing romance and gender in radblr???!!! Fucking frustrating! Like we're adults, y'all. We actually have to outgrow the Disney bs. Again, I'm not saying that liking romance is bad, but treating it as the end-all-be-all is literally for twelve-year-olds idc.

Instead of arguing with separatists about what makes a good separatist or not, encourage discussion on creative ways to live the rich life you want outside of patriarchal institutions. You can live with your sister and have a male partner. You can co-parent with your best friend instead of a husband. You can adopt instead of get pregnant or whatever. And if you create a bio child it can be a girl rather than a boy. Literally there's more options now than ever and I can't believe I have to keep explaining this to one of the whitest parts of the internet.

More than anything, I wish the separatist discussion would open up women's imaginations to LIFE OUTSIDE OF MEN. To focusing on WHAT THEY TRULY WANT instead of what they can or can't do. Loving a man doesn't mean you want to live with him or marry him. “Having a life” does not have to mean “living recklessly” and too many radblr users equate being in a romantic relationship with men as NECESSARY to having a life in the first place, which is part of the problem! Whether you’re attracted to them or not!

Use separatism and separatist discourse to de-center men from being these beings of ultimate fulfilment. Straight, bi, lesbian I DON'T CARE just make sure you're routinely in a space where you can TRUST that you are making decisions YOU WANT to make and that you are WARY of the way patriarchal society constantly coerces us into being in exploitative situations that benefit men more than us.

THAT'S ALL.

[kiwisa]

The Winner Takes It All ✷ cl16

✷ FIRST INTERLUDE OF THE TAMING OF THE HEARTBREAKER

━━━━━  NEXT !

in which... another name is added to Y/N's infamous list !

IN THE GILDED WORLD OF HOLLYWOOD, two events have become so common that no one bats an eye at the sight of them anymore: seeing Y/N L/N win an Oscar and leave with the current heartthrob.

Last night was no exception, ticking all the boxes in this new industry's ritual. While the West Side Story actress did indeed bring home the Best Actress Oscar (again), her real award of the night was the charming Timothée Chalamet, present to support the ten nominations for Dune. The two actors were seen very close during and after the Vanity Fair after-party, eventually both slipping away in the same SUV.

This is nothing new for the actress. Wherever she goes, it is impossible to feel indifferent about Y/N L/N. She knows it. So does everybody. Her ever-growing list of conquests is always the talk of the industry. No one even bother to count the names anymore: it would take hours.

Between Chalamet at the Oscars, François Civil and Pierre Niney at the French Césars or Harry Styles at the Grammys, Y/N L/N seems determined to single-handedly revive old Hollywood, between conquests, scandals, and chaos!

✷ SEE ALSO ON LOVE CLUB... !

Is Y/N L/N the inspiration behind Harry Style's Woman?

Between existing for her art or for her body, Y/N L/N seems to have made her choice

L/N's French idyll with François Civil cut short

The one now known as "The Heartbreaker"⏤a politically correct version of "whore," still favoured by many internet users⏤has been causing daily havoc everywhere, be it in newspapers or on social media, because of her behaviour, deemed "unladylike."

She responded to these criticisms on Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show a few months ago:

"If I were a man, nobody would say anything. I'm a whore and, yet, when a man does the same thing, he's a player. This has double-standard written all over it. People just hate to see women do what they want with their bodies."

Regardless of the hate she receives on a daily basis, L/N doesn't seem ready to settle down soon. But will she ever be?

We are all left wondering who will succeed in⏤to quote Shakespeare⏤taming The Heartbreaker.

FILED UNDER #Y/NL/N #TIMOTHÉECHALAMET #ACTORS #OSCARS #DATING

Sort by Best ↓

Anonymous 2 hours ago

She didn't deserve Best Actress. I mean... Jessica Chastain was right there. Once again, it shows us just how rigged the Oscars are! Go fuck your boy-toy and let the real actors act.

Anonymous 1 hour ago

She's an incredibly good actress. What a shame she is so crass.

Anonymous 1 hour ago

You go, girl! She's living her best life, as she should. If she doesn't want to settle down now, then she doesn't have to. Men should just shut up.

Anonymous 3 hours ago

No one will ever want something serious with her. Women like L/N are only meant to be fucked.

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[nagipops]

KONOHA ELEVEN IN A ZOOM CLASS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, hinata, kiba, shino, neji, rock lee, and tenten

WARNINGS: mentions of food

NARUTO

definitely has forgotten that he was unmuted multiple times

or his camera was accidentally turned on

you could just see him sprawled on his bed with a bowl of instant ramen on his lap and a blanket wrapped around himself

EARRAPE SLURPS!! rip headphone users.

sometimes he notices that his camera’s turned on and you can see him freak out and scramble to turn it off

but he accidentally unmutes himself too and so you just hear panicked yelling

his device topples to the floor with a loud crash and he screams so loud istg

the next thing you see is naruto’s face hovering over the camera in fear just before his camera turns off and he’s muted again

the teacher is so confused?? naruto should i call an ambulance

but when he’s not eating in class, he’s sleeping in class

too busy sleeping to leave the zoom at the end of class so he’s always the last one left in the meeting besides the teacher

always asks sakura what happened during the zoom and she is FED UP

SAKURA

enters the waiting room 15 minutes before class is actually supposed to begin

spends the next 15 minutes rearranging her work area, making sure she’s prepared for the day

sits properly at her desk with her hair smoothed down and her face positioned perfectly in frame

if no one else has their camera on, she’s the only one with it on

seriously, she ALWAYS HAS IT ON

and she never leaves the screen somehow

diligently takes notes, uses the “raise hand” feature every two minutes to ask a question

sometimes it can get a bit annoying, even for the teacher

but she almost always gets perfect marks

acts like in angel in class, but after class... no promises, naruto!

SHIKAMARU

this man can barely stay awake during missions, so during a zoom? HECK NAH

shikamaru is literally me,, half asleep during lessons but somehow gets amazing grades

everyone’s either pissed at or envious of him (especially naruto)

obviously does not have his camera on

and rarely ever unmutes

uses the chat feature to answer the teacher’s questions but this man is basically asleep so its so incoherent

“shikamaru, what is a hyperbole?”

in chat: “a hyeprbole is a exsaggerayed phras,e”

teacher definitely thinks he’s cheating on tests

INO

either a) daydreaming about boys or b) checking herself out in the zoom camera OR c) secretly fuming at sakura’s know-it-all behavior

the two girls definitely compete to see who can raise their virtual hand first

"ahem, ahem- sensei? could i answer this question?"

her voice gets all sickly sweet and sakura HATES IT

the two of them totally got caught insulting each other in the private chat

100% the type of student to rewrite her notes after classes with various markers and colored pens and pretty fonts and patterns and whatnot

loves doodling flowers in her notebook during boring lessons!

CHOJI

another strong contender for the Loudest Student award!

not on purpose though, he just forgets that space bar = unmute, and plays some jumping game in another tab (like the no internet dino game!)

also,, rip headphone users

c r o n c h munch munch munch

are you kidding this man's chews are loud enough in person, but with a HEADSET?! hoo boy.

has conked out several times during class

just imagine the name Choji Akimichi with a profile picture of a bag of chips light up with the green box around it with a thunk

the teacher and class is so confused

but then you hear mumbles of "barbeque... chips... barbeque..."

and you realize that the man fell asleep onto his keyboard

he sleeps through the rest of class

HINATA

shy bb has never ONCE turned on her camera

the only time she's ever unmuted was to say "here" during attendance on the first day of school

if the teacher ever takes attendance again, she just uses the raise hand feature

what if naruto-kun thinks my voice is ugly? what if i accidentally turn on my camera? what if the teacher thinks i'm not paying attention? what if-

poor baby is too busy worrying about showing herself on zoom to actually pay attention

actually gets good grades though and her classmates wonder if she’s even there

her zoom pfp is definitely just a purple google “H”

KIBA

has the CUTEST zoom pfp hands down

it’s a selfie of him grinning cheerily with baby akamaru

100% has his camera on the whole time to show off his pup

he loves seeing everyone’s faces on screen melt and aww at the lil big doggo

sometimes akamaru just walks in front of the camera and blocks kiba from view and you just see a massive wall of white fur on screen LMAO

even though kiba’s muted, you can see him and akamaru bickering about who knows what

or even play fighting,, these two get into full on BRAWLS during class

just imagine akamaru shoves kiba into his desk and his camera crashes to the ground overturned so you see the ceiling and the occasional dog tail wagging in the corner

seriously, can the teacher ever catch a break with this class?

the answer is no.

SHINO

his zoom pfp is just a tick.

a singular tick

totally answers questions in chat with proper capitalization and punctuation

shikamaru’s improper answers tick him off

“A hyperbole is an expression that is greatly exaggerated. They are used in order to create emphasis.”

has never unmuted in his life either

he’s so unfazed by everything that goes down in class that it’s funny

if anything the slightest bit RELATED to bugs comes up during class, in 0.00238 seconds this man has an entire essay about them posted in chat, almost like he had it copied and READY to paste

everyone's definitely shocked that there’s actually a human listening behind a tick profile picture

NEJI

a very diligent note taker

seriously, this man writes like a printer; perfectly even handwriting that looks like a font, a million words per minute

everyone asks him for his notes after the zoom because they’re so neat (especially naruto, to neji’s dismay)

he gets excellent grades since he’s so organized and focused

just wishes the zoom would be over so he can work alone in peace

really hates unmuting so he often gives one-word answers in the chat

“Yes” “47” “Present” “Goodbye”

has used a zoom reaction ONCE in his life and he has never wanted to crawl into a hole and perish more

it was a complete accident,, mans was just trying to open the chat to type in his answer, but in a cruel twist of fate he clicked on the 😂 reaction

and he just sat there for ten excruciating seconds in complete and utter shock and shame for ten excruciating seconds as he prayed for it to disappear

tenten would never let him live that down

ROCK LEE

Zoom Reaction Enthusiast

😂😮👍🎉❤️ 24/7

naruto accidentally unmutes himself? 😮

choji falls asleep on his keyboard? 😂

neji answers something correctly? 👍

tenten received the highest score in class? 🎉

akamaru appears on screen? ❤️

unmutes whenever he needs to, but he thinks the little emoticons are so silly and cute

otherwise, he is EXTRA FOCUSED and EXTREMELY DETERMINED to learn all of the things

he’s the first to unmute whenever the teacher asks if the class can see the screen share, hear them correctly, etc.

never takes his eyes off the screen!! he could be missing out on important information

I FEEL LIKE,, i feel like he would totally keep his camera off when he’s muted but whenever he unmutes he would also turn his camera on

so when he says a quick “yes!” his camera turns on but before his camera can adjust properly to the light he mutes and turns his camera back off so his face is just super dark for a split second LMAOOO

tell me im wrong

TENTEN

exasperated by this entire class

thinks her and neji are the only sane ones in the class and it’s true

wants to tell sakura and ino to stop competing and just focus on learning, since they’re the only other girls in the class besides hinata

plus she’s just fed up with all the lazy boys

takes great pride in passing every assignment, test, or exam with flying colors

teachers pet, but the quieter type who stays after every zoom and sends lots of emails regarding assignments and grades and whatnot (unlike sakura and ino who rub it in the teacher’s face)

doesn’t like helping other people besides neji, girl’s got a soft spot for him since they have a mutual respect for each other

but if you’re a handsome prince, maybe she’ll help you out!

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[hwrryscherry]

The one where Harry and Model Y/N go undercover in the internet

characters: HARRYxMODELY/N

blurb: Harry and Model Y/N go undercover on the internet with fake accounts on TikTok and Instagram for an interview for GQ magazine on a video pre Grammys.

word count: 3.3K

HARRYxMODELY/N masterlist

author's note: HI GUYS! This is a request that I received a while ago but only finished it now because of school and all that stuff that I've told y'all a million times. Anyway, I tried my best on this request cause I think I lost my way of writing a little lol but anyway, I hope you like it and I hope that for the ones who misses Harry and Model Y/N this can be a great gift. Love y'all and thank you for the constant support and love on them💜 Stay Safe and Always remember to tpwk and that you're so golden💜💜💜

It was about 3 pm when you and Harry naturally came into the studio set on the building of GQ magazine with tender smiles on your faces covered by masks as you greeted everybody in the room in which there wasn’t many people in it. Harry was dressed in one of the many Gucci shirts he owned, with freshly washed hair that made you smell his pleasant scent from inches away just because he was wearing your favoured one and you'd always recognize it. You also detected the many rings on his fingers, including the one that you had bought for him as a 27th birthday present and by god, he was so thrilled about the ring and had a big smile on his face all day so he felt like he wanted to use it every day. Oh and how good his birthday was. You weren't able to have a party, obviously, but you still managed to celebrate somehow. In the morning, you gave him his favorite breakfast and then he, Gemma and Anne stayed on a zoom call for about an hour. You bought some yellow balloons to put in the living room just to give that birthday vibe and during the night, you had no more than four friends in your LA house, all properly protected and saved. You just ordered a few pizzas and watched some of Harry's favorite movies. It was simple but with an incredible energy, receiving a tiny group around while doing something y'all liked was everything Harry wanted most, mainly because he would have to wake up early the next day to go to the set of "Don't Worry Darling." as they were about to finish filming.

But today was another day. In earlier Febraury, the GQ magazine team reached out to your businessmen with the proposal that you and Harry would record a video together answering questions about your relationship to be published before the Grammys and after you consider whether it would be the best thing to do or not because of the many reactions you could get from it, you both agreed to do it. You’d always try to consider every little possibility when it comes to your and Harry’s relationship as the media can be very mean and disrepecftul.

Instead of Harry, you had a black miniskirt, long sleeve white blouse and a small black blazer with your Fendi plaid boots, which was Harry's personal choice for today as you’ve told him that he could chose an outfit for you to wear. You two spent a few minutes in the makeup chair doing touch-ups on your hair and makeup right before you were both ready to shoot. You walked from the makeup table to the center of the studio where you could see the crew behind the cameras and the big white background with a table and two black chairs right in the center. The table had a computer upon it only. After sitting down and having the microphones popped at you, you looked up when you heard the directors asking if you were ready and when you nod and the count is over, the camera started recording.

   ‘‘Hi, I'm Harry Styles!'’ You greeted the camera with a big smile on your face, eliciting a laugh from Harry about your unexpected "joke.". Honestly, today was a good day for both of you where you were both in an extremely good mood. Unlike the other days where you were quarantined, you were emotionally untired and in the mood to film and have a small social interaction, which is rare.

   ‘’And I'm Y/N Y/L/N!'’ Harry said joining in the joke with you and then looking at you as he waited for you to say the rest of the introductory phrase but only realizing you were smiling at the camera without saying anything.   '’Y/N!'’  Harry called calmly causing you to turn your head to face him and realize he wanted you to continue instead of continuing himself.

   '’Oh sorry, I thought you were going to continue'’    You whispered conspiratorially to him before taking a deep breath and resting your hands on the table when you returned your gaze to the camera.   ‘’And we’re gonna go undercover on the internet today!!’’

   ‘’Yeah, I'm scared!'’  Harry said when opening the laptop that was over the table and turning it on. You sat back in your chair so that you could see the laptop screen clearly and smirked a little when you heard your boyfriend's words.

   ‘’Hm... Let's do TikTok!'’   Harry said after a few seconds in silence while thinking. Harry's words made you chuckle his words because you knew that Harry doesn't comprehend anything about TikTok and didn't have an account but you both would usually find yourselves in bed watching tiktoks for hours. '’Which username should we put in?'’, Harry asked without taking his eyes off the screen.

   ‘’You should be! I’ll expose all of your deepest secrets in this video'’   You said while raising your eyebrows in a playful way eliciting a laugh from Harry, one by the way, that he tried hard to sound a little desperate for people watching  '’Alright, what should we do first?’’

   ‘’Put ‘’simp4harry’’ !"  You said with a smirk on your lips as Harry let out a nasal laugh but put that username either way.

   ‘’Okay, but how did you think of that username so fast? I think it’s very creative'’  Harry asked as he finished creating the account.

   ‘’It's the username I put on everything!'’  You answered as you ran your right hand through your hair.

   ‘’Oh yes? So is this your Only Fans username?'’  Harry mockingly asked making you laugh and take your eyes off the screen and look at his face.

   ‘’No, I don't even have an account on Only Fans, for God's sake Styles'’. You answered as mockingly as he did, '’Why? You have one?'’  You asked calmly.

   ‘’No, I'm a one-woman man!'’ Harry said to cause you to smile convincingly.

   '’Can someone get me a bottle of water, please?'’ You asked gently for the people who were on the set and smiled thanking the person who brought you.

   ‘’Thank you!'’   You answered sounding a little bit shy, even though you’re a public person and listen to compliments quite often, you still don’t know how to react to them. You took a deep breath and raised your eyebrows before using your finger to point to the laptop screen as he opened your tiktok account,  ‘’I mean, I don’t even know why I’d be one of the best ones to follow since all I post on tiktok is unnecessary and stupid things that goes through my mind during the day.’’

   ‘’So inconvenient!'’  Harry whispered playfully. You two had this habit of being sassy to each other, and everyone around you was used to it. This craze started because the first time you guys hang out together in Shanghai, you just talked like you’ve known each other for years and not just five hours.

   '’I didn't drink water today, do you want me to be thirsty? I thought you loved me!'’   You used a dramatic tone when speaking before drinking a sip of water.

   ‘’I did!'’   Harry replied in a low tone finishing logging in the TikTok feed.

   ‘’What do you mean ''you did''?'’   You answered in a loud tone holding the laugh with Harry.

   ‘’Okay, focus on TikTok! Focus on TikTok!'’  Harry said with a laugh as you now brought his attention to the screen as well,  ‘’Hm, let's look at my girl's account!'’, Harry said as he typed your tiktok username in the search bar. You took a sip of the water in the bottle and put it on the table,  ‘’AND by the way, do you guys know that this woman over here was listed by The Cut as one of the best tiktokers to follow today? And I’m so proud’’

   ‘’Well, I love how you appreciate your talents, love!'’  Harry replied sarcastically with a smirk on his lips making you chuckle. He didn't like it very much when you belittled something you did, even if it was something that was really bad, he didn't like it. Not just with you though, but with all the people in the world. Harry doesn't like it when people don't recognize their worth.

   ‘’Ok, here’s the first one! I’ll be reacting to it!'’   Harry spoke in a playful tone while clicking on the video as he knew very well it was not a react video but to answer questions. Harry clicked on the first video, this time you were propped up with your face close to the camera with folded arms dubbed to the sound that was in the background. You then take the transparent glasses pulled over the beige in a matter of color that was in front of you on the table and put them under your eyes never failing to dub the song. Then you move away from the camera and can see you are wearing leggings and a sweatshirt. And then you take your Louis Vuitton Coussin PM silver bag and place it on your shoulder before the video ends   ‘’Alright, so on this video you don’t do anything else than mimicking to the song.’’

   ‘’No, but like, seriously!'’   You complemented. '’We’ll watch some of them, and you’ll see how silly they are!

   ‘’I know that’s why I said that it stupid!'’   You exclaimed as you crossed your arms on the table. ‘’Let’s see the comments'’   You, yourself clicked on the comments area with your hand before Harry did and observed as comments poped up.

   ‘’Ok so the user @username1 asked ‘’How does it feel being the coolest person ever’’, tell me Y/N, how does it feel like?'’  Harry asked with a smirk to you as he turned his head to encounter your face with raised eyebrows.

   ‘’Oh, it feels so nice!'’ You responded in a playful tone causing both of you to laugh at your conviction, even though you knew it was a teasing tone and not narcissistic  ‘’Everybody knows I’m like, the coolest person alive so...'’  You convincingly said running your hand through a few strands of your hair and then take a deep breath and put a lock of hair behind your ear.   ‘’No, I’m just kidding. I’m not cool everyday, honestly there are days that I’m the most annoying person ever so I definetely have my good and bad days.’’

   ‘’Oh and those annoying moments'’   Harry said in an ironic tone, letting out a dramatic sigh causing you to frown and slightly open your mouth as an offense while holding your laughter as you exclaimed a loud '' excuse me?’‘ as an answer. Harry returned his attention to the comments on the screen again and frowned and brought his face slightly closer to the screen to read   ‘’Okay so @username2 asked ‘’new trend: are you engaged?’’. No guys are not. We’ve never been engaged.’’

   ‘’I feel like we’ve been engaged since 2017!'’   You said sarcastically remembering all the rumors about engagement, babies and dating. Since the first time you has met there were rumors, thousands of them, all the time but you and Harry chose not to comment on them as it would just be a big waste of time.

   ‘’Exactly and we weren’t even dating in 2017!'’  Harry complemented by looking away from the camera at his nodded face. '’But anyway...’’   Harry said taking a deep breath  '’I love how random your tiktok actually is!’’

"I know! I am planning a whole video to film on Grammys day because I'm in love with my outfit and i’m so excited for it!" You said changing the subject but being excited about the idea. After the announcement of nominations and with all the excitement you felt for Harry, you agreed you would attend the Grammys together; it was something important because not only was he running for three awards but also because you never attended any events side by side, except at the 2019 Met Gala. Then the pressures would increase but Harry knew it would be so much easier if he had you there with him. Because whether or not he took the awards home, he knew you were there and he would be grateful for at least being nominated for sure.

"Wait, which outfit did you pick? " Harry asked as he left the tiktok site on the laptop and entered Instagram. Harry selected searched for the hashtag of both of your names as a ship name on the explorer, so it would be easier to find what both of you wanted. "You showed me three different outfits but didn’t told me which one you chose!"

"Oh, I choose the black Prada one!"  You answered calmly. Harry stopped using the laptop and turned his head quickly to face his face causing you to look surprised and confused at him due to your reaction. It was his favorite outfit from the three that you had shown to him. "What?I wanna look great before you win your first award and I start ugly crying."

"Oh my god, you’re probably more excited than me." Harry said turning his attention back to the laptop screen.

"Of course I am, I cannot wait to walk around telling people that my boyfriend is not only a three times grammy nominated but a grammy winner!" You answered as you grabbed the water bottle that you had previously asked and drinking a sip.

"Anyway, let’s see!" Harry said as he started searching through the hashtag posts, also drawing his attention to the same screen. You then see a post that catches your eye and points it so that Harry can click. The post was a picture of Harry on the Met Gala carpet with ‘’Harry pierced his own ear for the Met Gala with a needle’’ written on it. "Ok, that’s true! But, now ask me why I had to pierce my own ear?!"  He asked ironically, as if he were playing a trick on you, because he knew very well you had a mini argument that day since you refused to pierce his ear with the fricking needle.

"I told you I wouldn’t do it! Do you even have any idea of how dangerous that was?"  You replied right after rolling your eyes, but your tone of voice remained calm and you didn't get heated when you spoke. "You know you need to sterilize, right? And what if you had caught an infection? Do you really think I was going to do that? You're an adult. I can't stop you, but I wasn't going to pierce your ear."

"Hey, hey, hey!" He said causing you to stop talking and look at him. Harry raised his eyebrows and looked at you with a smirk before speaking. "The thing is: I really wanted to pierce my ear, and we wear finishing getting ready in New York. I asked Y/N if she had a needle. Neither her and Alessandro wanted to do it. Literally no one wanted to do it but I was very much decided so I did it myself and my ear is completely fine by the way" Harry said the last part making you roll your eyes again while looking at the camera and take a deep breath.

"Anyway..." You said as you dived back into the posts. In one of them you read someone saying in a comment that you and Harry would probably never fight. "Here, this one says ‘’I feel like they’re the type of couple that never fights and when they do, the fight lasts for 30 seconds’’".

"Absolutely untrue!" Harry said almost that immidiately while you nodded agreeing with him.

"Guys, every couple in the world argues. It’s natural, it’s not because we don’t have big arguments and talk shit about each other on the internet that we don’t have conflicts or understatement" You explained. You and Harry are really compatible, but you still have your moments and it’s important to recognize it. No relationship is perfect and disagreeing on things is absolutely understandable.

"Yeah, specially ‘cause we’re different people that come from different places and had different experiences. As long as the disagreements are not causing you serious mental and emotional harm is normal" Harry complemented your thought. It’s important to notice when a relationship is not making you feel good anymore. If your unhappy for any reason is important to leave and to search for help if needed. "See, if you could change anything in our relationship, what would it be?" Harry asked making you pay attention to his words and face as you thought attentively in silence for a few seconds.

"I think I would probably change the fact that we’re usually really far away from each other!" You said calmly while looking at him. "Like, you’re always travelling and so I am, so I feel like it can get hard sometimes because of that and I’d definitely would change that if I could do it without like, changing our whole careers and lives."

"Yeah, I’d probably change that as well!" Harry agreed nodding to you as he was thinking as well. "I’m very grateful for quarantine on that point because we could spend more time together without being so long apart from each other. Of course I wish it was on different situations but I’m grateful for that" Harry said and you could understand that completely. You and Harry had been dating since 2018 and had spend months apart from each other and only you both truly knew how hard it could get sometimes, specially when you had the whole world to judge both of you.

"I fully understand it! Sometimes I think about everyone who spent this past year alone, and I’m really grateful for having you with me...LIke, you’re my best friend, you know this" You said looking at Harry’s face. He had a growing tender smile on his face that was starting to make you nervous and emotional on the same time as you remembered the past year. You felt your eyes getting wet and let out a chuckle looking away from his gaze. "I’m getting emotional! It’s all about my cancer rising today!"

"Oh sure, it’s always zodiac’s fault!" Harry said laughing and then looking at the screen and the crew on the backstage while gesturing with his hands. "That’s probably one thing about Y/N that you guys don’t know. She fully believes on zodiac signs and those stuffs. Actually, there was one time when she told me that we couldn’t be together because our signs were incompatible."

"Okay but like, Harry is an Aquarius and I’m a Taurus. We are incompatible when it comes to zodiac signs!" You said between giggles as you tried justifying your point even though Harry knew you were joking when you said that to him. He didn’t know at the time though he was very much surprised and scared when you said it.

"But anyway, I’m glad that we spend this time together. It’s been weird and funny at the same time like the spaghetti day!" Harry said holding his giggles as he watched your eyes widen because you knew exactly what he was talking about.

"NO, we're not talking about this!" You talked fastly while laughing at the same time as Harry as you both remembered that one night in quarantine when a spaghetti night went completely wrong and he came on the kitchen to see you and a kitchen with spaghetti and tomato sauce all over the floor and the walls and how you cried to convince him to clean the whole kitchen alone and failed. "Ok, let's finish the video here before things are leaked!" You said giggling.

"Alright, this was very nice. Thank you GQ for having us and I hope we weren't the worst guests you've ever had!" Harry said joking even though you both knew that it was quite hard to be very open in the media specially about your relationship but you tried your hardest.

"Don't forget to watch Harry peform on Grammys on sunday!" You said.

[akabluekat]

I have noticed some particular rhetorical patterns in the recent Tumblr drama, so I made an FAQ because I’m salty.

Q: There is an Elite and Popular group of OC Creators who always reblog each other’s content and interact with each other. This is exclusive and cliquey.

A: What you are describing is people who are friends. Do not be alarmed: this is normal! And the great thing is that you too can have friends if you interact with people instead of insulting them behind anon. You can even be friends with Elite and Popular people. I’m not exactly sure that I’m Elite—I have been accused of being both Elite and a Groupie (an Elite Groupie?), so who the fuck knows—but you can message me if you want to chat and be friends. Current saltiness aside, I’m actually pretty nice when you’re not anonymously accusing me of being a witch or whatever. I have found this to be true for pretty much every person who has been accused of being Elite.

Q: Certain creators are always hogging the spotlight.

A: I mean this sincerely: what spotlight? This is a social media site. There are a lot of conversations happening simultaneously—that’s how it’s supposed to work. If I reblog a post, it doesn’t take away anything from your post and you reblogging another post doesn’t take away from my post. If Tumblr could only focus on one thing at a time, there would be no Tumblr. It’s not a zero sum game.

Q: Someone made a graphic for another creator. This is suspicious.

A: You are describing someone being nice. This is a good thing.

Q: There is a Discord server that is highly Exclusive and Elite.

A: I just joined that Discord. Here was my experience of that process:

I asked @materialkii if I could join because I thought it sounded fun.

She asked the group if that was cool.

I got an invite link.

This entire process took about 5 minutes from start to finish.

Q: Some people were nice to a person who got a bunch of really ugly reviews. They don’t deserve your sympathy and you are a fool for being nice to them.

A: Okay, let’s unpack a few things. One, if people want to be nice to someone, they do not actually have to clear it with you. Two: literally, what impact does this have on you and your life? You’re hiding on anon. Three, people can see the reviews that were left on this user’s account and make their own judgments about whether this person deserves sympathy. They can also make their own judgments about whether the so called “constructive criticism” was in fact constructive (spoiler: I saw the reviews. They were not constructive). Four, you have made it abundantly clear that you have no respect for the people you are attacking, so why do you care so much about who they are nice to?

Q: The OC community is cliquey and has problems.

A: I don’t know that I can take this argument seriously when it is coming from someone on anon who:

A) has yet to offer literally any solution other than “people should only post, write, and interact in ways that I, an anonymous user who cannot be contacted, personally approve of.” That’s not a solution, that’s a temper tantrum.

B) does not seem to recognize concepts such as friendship or being nice.

C) repeatedly attacks or demeans community building and positive initiatives led by people like @ocfairygodmother as “charity.”

D) has not, to my knowledge, made any effort to interact with the people they accuse of being exclusive.

Q: I did not personally say [statement], that was a different anon.

A: Literally, how the fuck is anyone supposed to tell you all apart if you stay on anon.

Q: There are actually many of us who feel this way.

A: Please see the previous answer.

Q: People have been rude responding to my anonymous asks.

A: That’ll happen when you send multiple anonymous messages insulting people and their friends or going after their followers. Have you tried being nice? Have you tried not hiding behind anon? What efforts have you made to participate respectfully in this conversation like a grownup?

Also, I can only speak for myself, but the longer this goes on, the less tolerance I have for bullshit. I was pretty restrained in the beginning, but my patience has worn thin.

Q: The Darkling is toxic and people are promoting toxicity by writing romances about him, what if young girls read this and think this is normal?

A: You are not responsible for curating someone else’s internet experience, especially if that person is hypothetical.

Q: I am merely expressing my ✨Opinion✨.

A: The toxicity of the Darkling is your opinion. Telling people to take down their fics, resorting to personal attacks, wishing harm on them, spamming their reviews, coming into their inboxes to insult them—that’s not an opinion. It’s—dare I say—toxic behavior, which I know you all are deeply concerned about.

Q: None of these were actually questions.

A: Yeah, I know, but I liked the format. Just roll with it.

[mack3030]

Types of Paywall Abuse --- A post...

I think it’s time to tackle a topic that might make a few simmers uncomfortable, but we need to talk about it, because in addition to seeing a lot of people complain about it in general, I’ve also been getting some anons in my inbox talking about it. So let’s discuss this. 

Now, first of all, I would like to clarify a couple of things: 

When I speak of PAYWALLS here, I am talking about custom content that can ONLY be accessed by paying, or viewing an ad through a virus filled ad shortener link (which is just as bad).  Pure early access content, where you pay for it and get it earlier than everyone else who gets it for free IS NOT PAYWALLED CONTENT. 

This is why it is called a pay “WALL” because the wall portion indicates that you cannot access it without paying a fee/toll. 

Second of all, I would like to remind the public at large that this is not hate, it is a critical commentary. I am not going to go for these creators personally, nor do I want to. I, as a member of the community who plays the sims 4, and downloads/uses CC, would like to simply hold some of these creators accountable for actions that are unethical and unsatisfactory to the community in which they serve. That is it. No more, no less. I simply believe they CAN do better and BE better than this. 

Now, let’s get into the meat of this. 

The main type of abuse that I have focused on has been what I call Permapaywalls. 

Permapaywalls:

Content that cannot be accessed ANY other way than either paying a certain amount via patreon or another service, OR viewing a link through a virus-filled ad that puts your computer at risk. 

There are many creators who are well known permapaywall creators, with at least 80% or more of their content being locked behind these permapaywalls. Sometimes they may release a few items for free, but this is very similar to being allowed to test drive a car before buying it. It’s to entice the user/viewer into liking the brand, and then buying in.

I’m not going to delve into this too much because I’ve already expounded on this topic a bit. So let’s go further. 

The next type of abuse is what I like to call “Exclusive Loopholes”. 

Exclusive Loopholes: Creators who try to “get around” EA’s early access policy by offering a majority of their content as early access, but holding back certain items only to those who “subscribe” to their “patreon exclusive” content. 

There are some who are okay with this, thinking of this as a neat “bonus” for those who subscribe and support. However, the sims team made it clear: 

Folks who have a Patreon page are welcome to provide folks with "early access" incentives for their content but it should be made available to the general public within 2-3 weeks of it being given to folks early.

- Simguru Drake, The Sims Forum

Notice nowhere in this answer does it say anything about BONUS CC incentives. Nowhere. This is just a method that certain creators try to use to keep people from decrying them as “big bad paywall creators”. This way they can say “oh look, we do early access, we’re following EA’s rules~!” while still holding content hostage. 

If you want to offer your patreons some exclusives, here’s some ideas:  * Share pictures of your process, or work in progress content coming up.  * Allow them to have input into your process via polls and questions.  * Have an exclusive discord community just for your patreons where they can talk to you easier and share excitement and input about your content with you and each other.  * Have exclusive streams where only you and your patreons have the link to see you go live making content.  * Host a workshop on how to make CC using your process. (I see all of you who steal meshes from other sites sweating over this. ;D)  * Pause billing for a month and say “you know what, since you guys have been loyal and supported me, have a month of patreon on me!”  * Anything that honestly doesn’t involve only giving those patreons CC and not releasing it to the public. 

Let’s talk about another type, and oh my lanta, this type has had some anons messaging me ALL up in arms. I like to call this type “The Donation Disaster”.

Donation Disaster: Someone who CONSTANTLY uses the “downs” in the up/downs of life as excuses to not release content on time, or delay it while still collecting payment from patreons. Bonus “you’re a jerk” points if they then try to use those misfortunate circumstances to beg for even more money from their patreons on multiple occasions. 

Look, we all have junk that goes on in our lives. But when that junk is used as an excuse for you continually delaying content while still charging your patreons (and not using the pause feature), it makes them feel cheated.  In addition, when you then ask for donations to help you during your difficult time, and turn to your patreons instead of the support networks that are around you (ex: friends, family, religious communities, etc.), that can be VERY off-putting. You might be able to get away with it once, maybe twice, without a large chunk of your community turning against you. But the more regular it becomes, and the more they hear about how strapped for cash you are and how you’re asking them to give more than their pledge, and you’ll soon find yourself being called a scammer. Regardless of your intent, or if your problems are reality, you’ll find people’s empathy for your situation will be lacking.

I’ve had a few anons in my inbox talking about different patreon creators that always seem to have an excuse for why updates aren’t coming just yet, or why x is broken, and with their excuse comes a plea for help with bills, and a link to a paypal or venmo. 

Everyone has junk, don’t get me wrong. And it sucks to go through the junk we have in life, but if you’re reaching out to random people on the internet as your first method of support, you might need to be looking someplace else for support first before you come to the people who are already paying you for content you make. A one time “hey I’m in a bind, I need some help” donation thing might not be a bad thing, but when it becomes a constant pattern on your patreon....people aren’t going to take it well...at all. 

And last, but not least, I’d like to talk about the last kind of patreon abuse, which frankly, is really upsetting to me. I don’t even really have a name for it, because it’s literally so much of a “what?” thing in my head. I don’t even understand why it goes on.  Now, this practice involves the black/POC community, and frankly, as a white girl, I don’t feel I should be speaking over the community and what they have to say. Thankfully @xmiramira​ spoke on it, all the way back in 2019. Here’s an excerpt from her fantastic POST:

Even new creators who JUST joined the community sliding up in TBS with locs and braids talking about Patreon only. GTFOH. I’m not okay with creators doing Patreon only CC PERIOD, but my main discussion is focused on NON BLACK simmers making CC catered to US, and making it PATREON EXCLUSIVE IN AN ATTEMPT TO FORCE US TO PLEDGE, and how people are ASSUMING that I’m OKAY WITH THIS, and ASSUMING that I’m letting it FLY in my community. Just because I don’t go off about shit as frequent as I used to doesn’t mean I cannot see and I am not doing what I can to keep the fuckery OUT.“Oh but your friend has a Patreon” I don’t have an issue with what @ebonixsims is doing because it’s all early release. It gets released to the public a few weeks later. It’s not being kept behind Patreon, forcing people to pledge to her. Despite this, she’s still doing really good with it. So don’t get it twisted, I’m not on social media arguing with folks so people just assumed I’m okay with this shit, I’m really not. I’m actually two seconds off dropping Patreon share folders. (That also have my shit in it) Supporting people is one thing, but a lot of these motherfuckers are becoming extremely exploitive, and it’s aggravating. It’s like you goofy motherfuckers sit in DMs like “yeah let’s make some CC for the negros and put it on Patreon” Fuck outta here. And it’s not even just hair, it’s skins and even CLOTHING STYLES. Y’all are really wilding the hell out. African necklaces, black girl magic chains, Juicy Couture sweatsuits. Who the fuck do you think you’re fooling? IM TIRED! Next time someone asks me where I got something and it’s Patreon exclusive I’m dropping a SFS link. FUCK OUTTA HERE!

Here’s the deal. The black community has been fighting for a while to be able to feel represented in this game. Here’s two articles (ONE, TWO) talking about this issue.  But the thing that has me upset is the fact that SO many creators of content that is AIMED at Black/POC simmers are locking that content (or a good majority of it) behind paywalls. And what’s even more shameful is some of those creators are POC themselves! They understand what it’s like to feel that they cannot make themselves or have sims that look like them in this game, yet they still lock their content away and expect people not just in the SIMS community, but in the POC community to pay through the nose for it.  The fact that this is STILL going on, two freaking years after she made this post, and that both NON POC creators and POC creators are engaging in this behavior is honestly disappointing and shameful. I believe black/POC creators should be supported, BUT they should be supported without depriving their OWN community of representation and access. And frankly, if you’re a NON POC creator and you’re specifically targeting this group to make money off of them with paywalls, I have only one thing to say to you:

I’d speak on it more, but frankly, I’d rather let the people who are actually in the black/POC community speak on it, so if any of you want to let loose in the comments about this problem, go wild. I’m happy to sit back and listen, and I suggest others do the same.

[hopeymchope]

Parascientific Escape: The sci-fi “escape room” visual novel-style series nobody talks about

I can’t help thinking that Parascientific Escape would probably have an active fandom somewhere on the Internet if it wasn’t TRAPPED ON THE 3DS ESHOP.

I mean, it’s an escape room-centric visual novel-style sci-fi Japanese game that is clearly inspired by Zero Escape and very anime in its style. There are endearing characters, including optimal waifus/husbandos, plus a gradual buildup of an interesting fictional world full of political intrigue, its own countries, its own companies, and of course... psychic powers. Because you can’t have a trilogy of Japanese visual novel-style games featuring escape room puzzles without mental powers, now can you?

But as I said... they’re trapped as download-only titles for the 3DS. That’s fucking brutal. 

Even so, there’s a pretty big 3DS/2DS user base still in existence. It’s not like they’ve never been translated or something, so at least we have the capability to play them. So if you look into them, what are you getting?

A basic overview: Parascientific Escape is a trilogy of anime-style games about solving escape room mysteries and tracking down evildoers via the use of psychic powers (obvious Zero Escape influences). There’s an overarching plot about a mysterious mastermind who believes it’s time for the recently emerged psychics of the world to take their place as the next evolution of humanity and get their own nation (obvious X-Men influences).

They don’t work very well as standalone stories; each story relies on information from the last one, culminating in a game that stars the protagonists of both parts 1 and 2 together as they finally unravel the motivations behind the events of the whole series and face off with the people behind everything. In addition, the escape room puzzles start out pretty easy in the first game build to be pretty frustratingly obtuse by the tail end of the third. And on top of all that, each game taken on its own only contains about 3-4 escape rooms. So when you bundle all three together, that’s when it all works as a single satisfying package. 

Don’t worry about burning a lot of cash to play the whole series, however. The three games are $5.00 US each on the 3DS eShop and are usually on sale for $2.50 each these days. I got the entire trilogy for $7.50 US!

So let’s break down the gameplay and setup in a little more detail. Don’t worry; I won’t give any spoilers that go beyond the first five minutes of any game in the series. The twists and turns are part of the fun here.

The first game is Parascientific Escape: Cruise in the Distant Seas. You play as  Hitomi Akeneno, a high school girl (because of course she’s a high-schooler) with the dual abilities of mild telekinesis and a type of clairvoyance that lets her peer past barriers or into the insides of objects. She finds herself trapped on a sinking cruise ship where some mastermind keeps systematically locking her into isolated sections while she’s trying desperately to escape. 

I really liked how you could look inside of an object with clairvoyance and then use her telekinesis to manipulate the various switches and levers within, gradually pulling some object you need out from within a maze. I also thought it was clever how the solution to a new escape roomight require you to backtrack to a previous escape room to investigate some object or area that wasn’t relevant to that previous room’s original puzzle. 

(One of the things I found most fascinating about this one is the ethical debate raised by Hitomi’s friend Chisono regarding how Hitomi got herself involved in all this. Chisono offers a perspective that is extremely unusual to see in most fiction. You can even say it’s pretty cold, but it’s not without having some merit to it. I don’t want to say too much about what I’m talking about, though; it’s better left as a surprise.)

The second title, Parascientific Escape: Gear Detective, almost seems standalone at first. You play as Kyosuke Ayana, a private detective and actual adult (!) who is 22 years old. A young woman shows up at his office and asks to hire him for protection. See, there’s a serial killer on the loose, and she believes she’s the next target.

We are swiftly told that Kyosuke was once in an accident that necessitated the replacement of his left arm and right eye. He volunteered to be a guinea pig for some very special prosthetics that granted him artificial psychic powers. As such, he now has “chronokinesis” — to the power to look back in time. However, he can only look back for five days, and he only has limited ability to move or manipulate the things he sees in the past. 

Naturally, Kyosuke’s investigation winds up trapping him within some escape rooms that require use of his unique abilities to solve. Some of the hints at the proper timestamps or exactly where you should be looking when you peer into the past are a little vague, though, which can cause momentary frustration. Because I like to always be making forward progress, I actually preferred Hitomi’s telekinesis/clairvoyance powers from the first game. Still, Hitomi had some pretty basic puzzles in her rooms. I can’t deny that these puzzles took more thought.

Outside of the escape rooms,  everything is undeniably a huge improvement. The first game presented strictly linear segments of storytelling between the rooms, but this one is more of an adventure game. You can choose where you go, select from a limited menu of things to do when you get there, and do all of it in any order you like. There’s usually a correct sequence order to progressing the story, but it’s typically pretty clear what the next step is, so it’s not like you’re just flailing about and trying a bunch of locations blindly. Besides, there’s no way to get stuck, so don’t stress it. There are even a lot of actions you can take that have no impact on story progression at all — they’re just there to generate additional dialogue that further develops the characters. 

The tradeoff is that you actually get fewer escape rooms overall. The first game had four, but the second only contains three. This is also the first game in the series to introduce multiple endings; you get a number of dialogue choices throughout, and unfortunately, it’s far too easy to trigger the “bad” ending. There are guides online to help you trigger the Gold Star “true” ending, however. Just hit up GameFAQs. You might want to use the guide on your first playthrough, because I can say from experience that it’s annoying to have to replay all the dialogue sections just to make the correct choices. (Luckily, you can skip over any irrelevant sections of each chapter — including the escape room puzzles.) 

In spite of my above whining, the second one is probably my single favorite story in the Parascientific trilogy. It’s a lot of fun.

The final game in the trilogy is Parascientific Escape: Crossing at the Farthest Horizon. Mysterious characters who were plotting offscreen for the previous two games are finally given faces, locations that were talked about extensively in both are finally visited, and the two protagonists of the first couple games finally meet and team up. It’s absolutely a culmination of what they set up in the first two.

The narrative jumps around from the perspectives of many different characters, but the most time is undoubtedly spent with Hitomi and Kyosuke. Sadly, there is no gameplay usage of Hitomi’s powers this time; the escape rooms are all done with Kyosuke, and they are more devious now than ever before. Personally, I found the next-to-last one to be incredibly obtuse and frustrating. I ultimately had to consult a video playthrough on YouTube for that. (The YouTuber in question didn’t seem to have the same issues figuring things out that I did. So I guess your mileage may vary.)

The “adventure game” segments make a return here as well, although they’ve also become a bit tougher to figure out. There are a couple of times when you might find yourself wandering the various location options, clicking on every possible action to try and progress. Luckily, there aren’t so many default options that you’re left flailing for very long. Even the longest period of clueless wandering lasted me a maximum of 15 minutes.

Once again, you have to make the correct dialogue choices if you want a positive ending. And once again, GameFAQs is your friend and co-pilot.

Ultimately, even the gated endings and occasional puzzle frustrations did little to curb my enthusiasm. I really had fun with these characters and their stories, I greatly enjoyed the majority of the escape rooms, and I was pretty satisfied with how it all wrapped up. The character designs/artwork get better and better as the series goes on. The selection of music tracks may be the same throughout the whole series, but I really dug on them, so I can’t complain. Do I have any other misgivings? Well, just one; the English localization is pretty sloppy. There are a pretty large number of typos, and the dialogue can sound stilted and awkward at times due to being a direct translation. It’s actually at its worst at the start of the first game. Luckily, after about 30 minutes of playtime, it settles in and finds its voice.

Seriously, they should really figure out a way to re-package these games for another system that doesn’t use the the dual-screen setup. Put all three of them together, and it’d easily be satisfying as a full retail release!

But for now, if you have a 3DS/2DS, they’re only $7.50 in total most of the time (and $15.00 at the worst). Do you like adventure game-style mysteries and visual novel-esque progression and, of course, escape rooms? You should give these a shot! And I hope these devs get to make games with bigger budgets and better localizations in the future.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Seven

Words: 4.5k

Warning(s): explicit language, sexual situations, drug abuse, violence

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NIKKI

"Nikki, what the hell are you doing?" Vivian asks me as we walk down the stairs of the law firm. 

"I've broken every fuckin' vow except 'till death do us part' and I'll be fucked to hell if we stuck it out and stayed with each other after the worst bullshit just to fucking divorce." I state and she stays quiet for a moment before I'm stumbling back when she halts and snatches away from me, glaring up at me. 

"What if I want a divorce?" She asks. 

"I'd tell you you're full of shit." I snap and she raises a brow and crosses her arms. 

"Then what the hell was the point of hounding me for a divorce just to do this?!" She barks at me. 

"To prove a point I guess, I don't fucking know." I admit. 

"To prove a point?! What point were you trying to prove?! That even when we're not together you still have the control in the relationship?!" She yells.

"I don't have any fucking control in this relationship, are you fucking me?! I haven't had any control since day fucking one, Vivian!" 

"Are you fucking serious?!" She screams at me, frustration all over her face. "You have always had control, Nikki, trust me, I know, I'm the one that had to lay down and take your bullshit and give up what I wanted to do just so you'd feel in control!"

"I told you to go to fucking New York to go to school, did I not? What the hell did you do? You stayed! You can't get pissed at me for not giving you what you supposedly think I promised you!" 

"No, Nikki, I'm not pissed at you for not giving me what you promised--I'm pissed because you've given me years of fucked up shit that was never supposed to even be a part of the plan!" She has tears in her eyes, her voice shaking…

She's right. I'm not going to tell her she's wrong…

I sigh and rub the back of my neck, exhaling, as she wipes her eyes. 

"...Look, me and the guys are going to a different rehab, and I'll actually stick with it, and I want to work this out." I tell her, honestly. "I just don't know how to come back from the shit we've done to each other, Viv, but if we can figure out how, then I wanna do it." 

She doesn't say anything, looking at me with her pretty green eyes, nodding slightly. 

I didn't realize that once we agreed to work on our marriage, that all hell would break loose in the midst of repairing the damage. 

Me and the guys, except Mick, were sent to another rehab because the first one was too obnoxious, and by the second one, we were actually getting somewhere with each other as a band and individually, including the people closest to us in our lives. For me, that was Vivian.

My leg can't stop shaking as I repeatedly tap my foot, waiting for my counselor to get in and meet Vivian for the first time.

I exhale and glance at her, her red hair curled, reaching just over her boobs, long legs taken up by black stockings that have lace trim mid-thigh, just peeking out from under her black dress, black heels tapping quietly on the floor, her dark red nails standing out against the cover of the shitty crossword she's flipping through. Her perfume has the whole little area she's in smelling good and her red lips rub together for a moment as she doesn't even notice me staring at her. 

It's a Saturday and I'm assuming she's going out with Sharise or something when she leaves here, or she dressed like this to torture me, knowing I haven't had sex in nearly two months, starting in Japan back in December, and my right hand is my best friend currently. 

My fucking balls hurt as she shifts her legs, uncrossing them to cross them the opposite, now. 

If it were up to me they'd be wide open and either around my hips or my head. 

I keep my hand pressed to my lips, resting my elbow on the arm of the chair, focused on her.

I slide down in my chair a little to try to see what kind of panties she's wearing--if she's wearing any at all. 

It wouldn't surprise me if she's not wearing any at all. Just to fuck with my head like she loves to do. 

"Take a picture and it'll last longer." She tells me flatly, not taking her eyes off the book. 

"I would if I had a camera." I don't even deny staring at her and she flicks her gaze to me. "Or a video camera. That'd be better." I add. 

"Ha. Ha." She sarcastically lets out and I smirk, watching her get up to grab her purse from the empty chair adjacent to me, leaning down to dig through it. 

It takes everything in my power not to get behind her, bend her over it, slide her panties to the side and start poun--

"We're here to start the process of fixing things between us and you're here only focused on sex." She states and I snap out of it. 

"No, I'm not." I argue, furrowing my brows. 

"Nikki, I know when you're picturing having sex with me." 

"I'm always picturing having sex with you." I state. "And you know exactly what you're doing." 

The faintest, smallest little grin comes to her lips as she goes to sit down again. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." She mumbles and I look at her. 

"You're cruel." I mumble and she rolls her eyes. 

"Oh, whatever." She replies. 

"You look hot." 

"Shut up." 

"We can be done in ten seconds." I say next and she goes red. 

"Stop, Nikki!" She scolds me.

"C'mon, Viv, we've never fucked on a desk before." I point out. 

"We've broken into Doc's office just to mess around on his desk, Nikki." She reminds me. 

"Well, we've never fucked on a therapist's desk, so c'mon, it'll be quick."

"I--" she starts laughing, not believing me, "--am not having sex in a rehab facility. I'm not that horny." 

"So you admit you are horny to some degree, though." I say and she rolls her eyes. 

"Shut up."

"Just flash me or something." 

"Nikki."

"Please?"

"You're so weird." She ignores my request while I'm pinching the bridge of my nose. 

"I'm in pain, Vivian." I say next, groaning, exaggerating. 

"Sounds like a personal problem." 

"Fuck." I lean my head back, rubbing my face. 

The door opens and my counselor comes in, smiling at us. 

"Sorry, I'm late." She says, stepping to Vivian, extending her hand. "I have heard lots about you, I'm Amber." 

"Vivian. It's nice to meet you." Vivian replies, smiling her shiny smile that should win her an Oscar because she wears it so well even when she's fucking miserable--I obviously know from experience. 

Amber sits behind her desk as Vivian sits back down in the chair, and she looks up from her paperwork at us, raising her brows. 

"If we're going to start this grueling process, I highly suggest you two get comfortable being within three feet of each other, again." She adds.

Me and Vivian exchange looks, before she sighs and stands up, walking to the little couch I'm sitting on, plopping down beside me. 

I smirk to myself, looking at her from the side of my eye. 

"Okay, let's just get to it, Vivian, I've gotten a brief history of your husband, and I feel as though I can sort of, kind of, pin point a thing or two that has lead to the point that you two are at currently, but I'd really like to learn a little bit about you because all that's portrayed publicly to all of us is he's this nitty gritty, abrasive rock God, and you're the angel that tamed him to settle down." She explains and Vivian scoffs, raising her brows. "I know it sounds ridiculous but that's what's given in magazines and pictures taken of you two." 

"Yeah." Vivian nods. 

"And I don't think that's true, I don't think everything is happy and sunshine and, 'oh, we're opposites but that's what we love about each other,' and blah, blah, or else neither of you would be here admitting your marriage is in shambles...so, becoming familiar with Nikki--sober--the way that I have the past week gives me a sense of who he really is without the drugs and the cameras and the fans and the girls, because in here he's only got himself. He doesn't have to upkeep the persona he puts on to make it seem like everything's perfect. And, although you aren't a patient here, I really want you to allow yourself to just be and differentiate between who you are to the public, and who you are privately, because--from what I've heard--they're two completely different people." She says next and Vivian nods. "So, who is Vivian Kinston and how did she get together with Nikki Sixx?" She offers a warm smile and Vivian exhales, already looking overwhelmed…"In three descriptions, who were you when you met Nikki?" 

"A very religious, ballet dancing, perfectionist." Vivian says and Amber nods. 

"Let's dissect that and break it down for a moment." She says next. "Okay, religious--was that on your own or passed through your family or…?"

"Both of my parents, but mainly my mom." She replies and Amber nods. 

"Okay, and what is mom like?" 

"Very strict Christian, we couldn't have anything secular in the house...I'm not sure what she's like now but when I last saw her she had the pastor I grew up with trying to exorcise a demon from me because she found out I was engaged to Nikki." She tells her and Amber's brows shoot up. 

"When was that?" 

"'82, '83, around that time." Vivian explains. 

"So you haven't seen mom in close to six years." 

"Yeah." 

"Okay...you were a ballet dancer when you met," she starts the next point. 

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"Since I can remember." Vivian informs her. 

"So, a strict Christian upbringing, and a very, very, intricate form of dance that requires a lot of discipline, since you were probably a toddler." 

"Yeah." 

"And is that where the perfectionism comes in, through your background with dance?"

"No." 

"No, okay."

"My mom and my upbringing." Vivian explains. "Anytime I did something my mom didn't like or approve of or thought other people would lose their minds over if they knew I was doing it, she'd get onto me and would constantly drill into my head, 'this is not what we do, Vivian'." 

"Wow." Amber nods, her brows slightly furrowed. "So, it doesn't come from a place of that physical drive to be perfect at most things you do, it comes from a mental and emotional drive of not wanting people to know what skeletons are in the closet that would make them think less of you." 

Vivian nods, taking a deep breath. 

"Okay, and do you think that sense of perfectionism from your mother has helped you or harmed you in the long run?" 

"Harmed." She's saying it nearly before Amber can get her words out of her mouth. 

"And why is that?" 

"Because I grew up with her holding me to a nearly unreachable standard, and hounding unrealistic expectations onto me." 

"And in turn…"

"...It's made me do the same to him." Vivian says and I stare at the floor. 

"What unrealistic expectations, or unreachable standard have you held him to?" 

"Not doing the things that he's done." She says next. 

"What things?" 

"Infidelity and drug and alcohol addiction." 

"Why is expecting your husband not to cheat on you or put drugs and alcohol before you an unrealistic expectation that is unattainable for him?" Amber asks next and I rub my lips together. 

"Because of who he is and what he does." Vivian says next and Amber raises her brows. 

"So you think because he's Nikki Sixx--big time rockstar--that it's not realistic to expect him to do what he is supposed to do as your husband which is stay faithful and not put substances before you?" 

"Yes." 

"Oh, I see." Amber looks at me and I sigh. "Was your relationship ever open or polygamous, during or prior to marriage?" 

"No." She shakes her head. 

"Was he addicted to anything when you got married?"

"He did drugs and drank but at that point in time he didn't have a heavy reliance on it, no."

"An unrealistic expectation would be you telling him he can sleep with other women but then you getting angry every time he did. That's setting an unrealistic expectation of, 'I'm giving you permission to indulge in sex with other women but I expect you not to,' or him being addicted to heroin when you got married and you expecting him to drop any addiction he has solely based on the fact that you two got married. That's an unrealistic expectation. Him being a famous rock musician has nothing to do with his ability, or lack thereof, to be monogamous and sober." She explains to Vivian. "So you wanting your husband to not have an affair and not get strung out was not an unrealistic expectation that you had in a moment of naivety." She assures her.

"Okay." Vivian sounds like she's been waiting to hear that for a while…

"And I believe the issues you two are facing the most from both Nikki, and yourself, have grown from the root of how you two think. I know we hear the saying, 'opposites attract,' but we don't think about how sometimes when people are too opposite it acts like hot and cold air when it mixes and if it's in a big enough whirl, or big enough of a spectrum, it creates a tornado or a hurricane." She says next. "Religion equals a sense of morality, your history with ballet equipped you with a fair amount of discipline, and that perfectionism that you spoke on is your way of caring so much about what others think of you, you sacrifice yourself and just smile to keep things looking amazing on the outside."

Vivian nods. 

"I asked him to describe you in three words, and he said, 'beautiful, depressed, belligerent'." She tells her and I slowly see tears coming to Vivian's eyes. "Nikki admitted to me that when he met you, he had no sense of morality, he was doing whatever he wanted, when he wanted, he had no discipline in terms of controlling himself around drugs and women, and he couldn't give less of a care about what people thought of him." She explains. "And that might even been fun and exciting when you were just starting out but once you're married and he's gotten all these eyes on him suddenly, there are expectations put on the both of you to be this couple who has everything, and you're both attractive, and he's the bad boy and you're the good girl and you just fell in love is the only explanation you have for making the relationship work to the point of wanting to get married and you have a great house and matching cars and all this and all that and you're in the press smiling and laughing and holding hands and hugging up on each other and oh, it's a wonderful life, but as soon as you get alone…" she trails off, looking at the both of us knowingly. "He's high, you're suffering, and both of you are living a hell. But nobody can know that because you're Nikki and Vivian Sixx. You two are perfect because he doesn't cheat on you like other rockstars do to their wives and girlfriends. He doesn't put drugs and alcohol before you like so many others do to their girlfriends and their wives. He doesn't turn into this monster you don't recognize and lash out like a dog at you after a night of sitting in his closet and shooting up, because he 'loves' you, and you don't have to keep quiet for years while it just keeps adding up and adding up until finally you beat on your husband and those around you over minuet instances because the big things you were probably justified to get that angry over were swept under the rug and were never dealt with for years--because that's not what you do." She ties it right back to Vivian's mother. 

A tear rolls down Vivian's cheek, neither of us expecting it to be this heavy just during her introduction to Viv. 

"If we don't stop that mentality, it's going to poison every relationship around you that it hasn't already and when you have children it's going to be a curse on them just like it's a curse on you." She tells her, as Viv sniffles, trying to keep up with wiping her tears away. "I've already been on him about his upbringing burdening him, so please don't think this is a personal attack on you."

Viv nods, mouthing, "okay."

"You two want to make this relationship better and be better for one another, we are going to have to tear down six years worth of walls and blockades and gut this entire thing completely and start again. It's not going to be easy, you're probably going to learn things about each other you've been hiding and maybe even amicably decide to divorce before it's all over with, but you are both going to heal and start the process of forgiveness. With yourselves, with your parents, with your friends, and with each other."

She gives the both of us some homework...

"I want you two to prepare to tell each other everything you've not told one another for next time we meet." Amber tells us and the color drains from Viv's face, I know for a fucking fact that I don't look much different from her.

"What?" Vivian asks her.

"If we're healing this relationship we need everything in the dark in the light so we aren't building on an old foundation of secrets." She states. Vivian just nods hesitantly before we're dismissed.

"Vivian." I stop her out in the hall before she can leave, grabbing gently at her wrist.

"Yeah?" She asks me. 

"I love you." I tell her and she looks at me, smiling a little. 

"I'll see you Wednesday." She replies, squeezing my hand before she walks away. 

What the hell? I tell her and I love her and she just fucking says, "I'll see you Wednesday'?" 

I watch as she goes down the hall, heels clicking, hair down her back…

Goddamn. 

This is definitely my payback for taking my time with her for granted, because now that I'm in my right mind and not ruining our marriage, she barely even looks at me. 

At least she was actually wanting to work things out, because after the Vanity bullshit, I thought we'd never make it out after the first time I saw her since it had happened.

July 1987

I brace myself against the bathroom wall as my whole body goes numb for a moment, my eyes rolling momentarily. 

"Sixx, c'mon, we gotta get goin', Viv's here!" Fred yells from behind the door, his fist beating at it. 

Fuck him. Fuck this tour. Fuck this band. Fuck everything right now. 

Viv's just got here from the airport, she flew back in earlier this morning and I've been hiding, completely avoiding her, but I can't anymore. 

The media's in a frenzy since Vanity aired all of our dirty laundry, only making Viv and I both on edge even more. 

We've been denying the shit out of Vanity's engagement claims, but I don't think people are buying it as much as we'd like to think they are. 

I take in a breath and stumble to the mirror, looking at myself. 

Not too bad for a low down, dirty, bastard. 

Opening the bathroom door to see where Fred's waiting for me, I glance past his shoulder to see Vivian.

She looks like she feels like hell, but has managed to pull herself together. 

Makes two of us--well, kind of, at least. 

"C'mon, the guys are already at the venue." 

Fred tells me. 

"Great." I smirk, patting his shoulder, stepping to Vivian. 

I don't think either of us are taking into consideration the amount of utter bullshitting we're about to have to do. 

I also don't expect the amount of paparazzi waiting for us right outside the hotel's doors.

As soon as the door opens, screaming, flashes, invasive questions come hurtling our way. It feels closterphobic enough to make Vivian grab my hand, tight, curling closer into me as if trying to hide away from prying cameras and questions about my alleged affair.

I feel her being tugged at once, and just as she says, "Nikki," I'm snatching my hand from hers to beat repeatedly, as hard as I can, at the forearm of the perpetrator, a media creep trying to get her attention. 

"Don't fucking touch her!" I bark out over the noise and he stumbles back, holding at his arm as I put my arm around her waist, tightly, getting to the car. 

When we get inside, Vivian's obviously distraught over what just happened, shoving herself away from me. 

I turn my anger to Fred. 

"What the fuck is the point of  having fucking security if you're not going to keep people from touching her?" I sneer. 

"Because I'm a bodyguard, but you're a fucking Rottweiler." He states back without hesitation and I just roll my jaw, glancing at Vivian and she doesn't even look at me. 

I sigh and dig in my pocket for the little baggie I got earlier, grabbing my hotel room key to take a bump to help me wake up for this show, and when we get to the venue, I'm getting out of the car and waiting for Fred to get out. 

He does, and I stop Vivian, nudging her back inside before saying, "we'll be there in a second."

Fred just looks at me and exhales, rolling his eyes before stepping inside. 

Vivian sighs out as I look at her, avoiding looking at me…

"Vivian, are we gonna talk about it or…?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I think we should."

"You proposed to her, Nikki."

"Allegedly." I add.

"You. Proposed. To. Her." She says it sharply and I lean back. "You had an affair with her. I trusted you. I trusted the both of you. And you lied to me." She hisses. "So, no, there is nothing to talk about...just let me out of the damn car." She slides over and opens the door but I reach over her and slam it shut.

She takes heavy breaths from where she's sitting, my body hovering over hers, the tips of our noses brushing together…

I lean down, my lips pressing to her's for just a second before she lets go of the fact I completely screwed her over. 

I'm about to pull away when she pushes her tongue past my lips, her nails running over my back through my shirt as her legs wrap around my hips, one of her hands in my knotted hair.

As always, I end up eating her like a starved pervert, relishing in the sounds of her moans and gasps. 

The truth is, she may hate me, but I'm good at getting her off and she knows it.

Once she comes and we start getting ourselves together to go inside, I look over at her. 

"So, are we good?" I ask her, oh, so fucking stupidly, and she blinks at me. 

"What?" 

"Are we good?" 

She catches on to what I mean, and rubs her lips together. 

"Nikki, you could fuck me into oblivion, which you can't because I'm never letting you fucking touch me again, and we still wouldn't be good. Not even close to 'good'. You can't have an affair with my friend and then expect everything to be good just because we fooled around while you were stoned out of your mind." She snaps and I roll my jaw as she gets out and slams the door, stomping to the back entrance of the venue. 

For the first time I feel the sting of rejection. 

Is this how groupies feel? 

I never thought once about getting head, leaving them in the limo and going on about my business. 

Anger boils in me, Sikki chomping at the bit. 

That selfish bitch! 

I get out and go after her. 

I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna say to her, but I'm mad. 

"How dare you use me to get your rocks off and then toss me aside?", no, because I've done that to her a couple times...but that's because she's into it. 

I swear she comes harder when I randomly come up behind her and just start going at it because she knows I'm just using her to get off and then leave her wherever I stopped her, and go out right after and wouldn't think twice about it. 

But me? I'm so used to her looking at me like I'm God while I have my full attention on making her feel good, and she has the audacity to get off on my face and then kick me to the curb and tell me I'm never touching her again?! 

I decided it wasn't worth the fist fight it would inevitably turn into by the time I got inside, but and looking back, she had every reason to get me horny and then swear off ever letting me get near her again. It was petty, but smart. And despite having sex one last time not long after that instance, the point was still made clear. For the first time in our relationship, the acceptance of sexual advances didn't take the place of forgiveness.

[cloveroctobers]

(A/n: this might be a little biased since I’m in love with this man & I’m basing the relationship parts of this on my mc/myself so hope y’all don’t mind 😬)

IG info/bio: @/lucas.koh | 93.1k followers | for business inquires please visit: kohptr.com

LUCAS KOH —

27 (28) years old

From Oxford, England

Father is Korean & a car salesman at a Nissan dealership, he’s a strict/serious man who has high morals but beyond that he can actually be a softie in rare moments (+ that’s who Lucas gets his height from 🤤)

Mother is actually Chinese but lived in Korea studying abroad and eventually became a successful chiropractor (s/o to doctor mondragon on YouTube who I watch to help me sleep some nights and wish I could see! Lol) with her own practice. She’s a firecracker, intelligent, and quick to say what’s on her mind and doesn’t care if you like what she’s got to say. Most patients like that about her, she’s honest and her family is used to her ways but in the same way it’s more loving than offensive? (Smol woman but will remind you when she’s cracking your body she’s got enough power in her)

Either he’s a only child or he comes from a family of all boys with two younger brothers (they’re all in their 20’s) or he has one younger brother and one younger sister idk you decide

I’m feeling like he’s a Sagittarius? Carefree in the terms of he wasn’t viewing finally getting with MC when she’s dating someone else as cheating. Mans was READY to risk it all for me okay and I was down for it but ofc I had to react realistically and NOT “cheat.” *sigh* one part of me was debating ‘are we really dating tho bobby? We’re on reality tv. We’re not gonna die without each other if we hang out in seperate rooms’ *cough* Nope. but I’m a woman about her loyalty

He’s definitely adventurous. I don’t see him as the type to want to stay home all the time even tho his work definitely keeps him busy/exhausted. He’s down for road trips 💯

Occupation? Physicotherapist. His mother inspired him to get into the field and watching sports + the way players got their injuries always intrigued him? So to provide the best plan to have someone heal was something he loved to do plus being hands on while teaching/helping was a passion for him + I feel like he would also use a massaging technique instead of the usual exercise part of it

Now as someone who suffered a ACL & Mensicus tear & is STILL dealing with this BS pain years later, I would be so thankful to have him around! I feel like he’d have a optimistic attitude towards his patients and that’s what people need not someone that’s insensitive (like my surgeon/PT’s I had)

He models from time to time, when he was first approached about it he was upfront about not wanting to do it. It was much different than getting your picture taken for the office. That’s usually quick, the whole modeling process felt longer but somehow he was talked into it by his brother who’s a photographer and his mother. “Do you think you’re ugly? ‘Cause I’m not and you’re a part of me, so therefore there’s no such thing. Just look at your cheekbones, your jawline! I gave you those. The only good thing your father gave you was height.” Which filled the house with snickers while Lucas’ father just rolled his eyes and continued reading his newspaper for breakfast

Has a motorcycle and some luxurious car—not a Tesla those are basic now 🤷🏽‍♀️

Loves his motorcycle so much he’s got a tat of it on his right bicep

He has two available parking spaces in his parking garage at his penthouse but keeps his bike away in a storage unit due to a neighbor scratching it after his girlfriend broke up with him? Saying she was off to date Lucas? But that wasn’t true at all. He barely knew the girl, they didn’t live on the same floor. People were crazy but if you push him his temper might come out

Owns a leather jacket that he paid a lot for

Believes in “treat yo self” if it means in quality when shopping and has no issue being a big spender but he knows how to manage it well (his father told him all about how his own father dealt with bankruptcy)

Since he’s often at the office the whole day, he’s usually a night owl. He loves night drives and night dining. That’s usually when he finds the best places to eat

There’s this one pho spot that he loves and it’s his go to spot when he wants something quick on the way home

Cannot sleep with his entire body covered in covers, either his arms/shoulders have to be out or his legs, which would be a issue for me/mc since I sleep with the covers over my entire body...yes even in hot weather with the AC cranked up😂

He also makes great kimchi fried rice & loves Italian food

Will wine and dine. I believe it. I envision it! He loves going out on dates with his significant other (If he’s single and not with me, I think he’d try out speed dating)

Will dress to impress, will buy you a new fit he wants to see you/us/mc in especially if it’s your anniversary

Loves taking bubble bath’s with infused oils or flower petals with significant other

He’s the type that takes long showers & it brings him a true sense of freedom. He’s never able to take a quick shower, he gets lost in his ideas of what to do next in this world & it’s limitless

If he’s in for the day, which usually doesn’t last long—he’s either in sweats or in a robe all day

Only drives his bike on the weekend or if he’s going out of town but if he’s going on a trip for a couple of days with MC & if she’s got a bit of anxiety like me? He’ll stick to his car to make them comfortable

I feel like he enjoys the winter season. Maybe if it’s a slushy rainy winter more than a blizzards/snowy season. He loves bundling up, much to people’s surprise. He’s more than just his good looks and body love island fans!!!

Doesn’t post much on his socials. If you need to see what he’s about then you should do so in person or already know who he is. The internet can’t tell you much, in his opinion

Keeps himself in good health, I mean duh what kind of PT would he be 😉 goes on night jogs with reflector clothes on & occasionally morning jogs & at home workouts

Probably will date someone younger than him. Not by much, I don’t think he can take immaturity well. (That maybe how he views it) The most is 4 years younger than him

Henrik is his best bud from the show. They hang out all the time, crash at each other’s places, and vacation together all the time. They will be each other’s future best men forsure

Doesn’t go out of his way to talk to the rest of the guys from the show but if he happens to browse his feed and sees something he wants to comment on then he’ll carry a conversation of course

Far as the girls? He talks to Hannah & Priya from time to time. He also follows Hope and they like each other’s posts but not much communication is there either?

Either has a mint or black phone case, probably a Samsung galaxy user

Likes pistachio frozen yogurt but he’s lactose & doesn’t want to believe it :(

Smokes cigars when he’s out with his boys

Has a tight knit group of friends, majority of them are from the medical field since they all went to uni together + most of them are also married so the pressure is so on

*He’s the oldest out of his sibs so according to his parents he’s expected to be married first yet his baby sis is engaged and she’s 23*

wants a family...eventually. Probably will happen in his early thirties? The max for children is 2 for him. He knows they can be a HANDFUL due to his own friends who have kids + he’s a godfather and he’s babysat before so he knows how it goes!

enjoys his freedom as stated which further proves he’s a sag lol

Enjoys going to saunas to cleanse his pores/ get rid of toxins. It’s the easiest way for him to do so even tho his brother clowns him for it

His love language is deff physical touch. He loves hugs and resting his chin on top of your head, forehead to forehead, his nose pressed in between the space of your neck and shoulder, gentle squeezes, sitting next to each other with your legs touching, cuddling, sleeping on top of you or you on him, etc

He loves kissing. It’s automatic for him and it can also easily rile him up

Has strong opinions & will show them but will feel like he’s being attacked if it brings on a confrontation/argument

Will forgive and forget

Plays strategy board games

Makes his own natural healing creams & gives samples to his patients depending on their needs

His fav colors are: blue, white, & grey

Will grow a bit of facial hair in the cooler months if it’ll make mc happy (I’m a sucker for facial hair but hate it on myself lmao) but if he dislikes the feeling on his face he will shave and finds he likes a shaven face better, the facial hair makes him look a bit older—which is okay but that’s just his preference

When he stops putting gel in his hair/styling his hair in a quiff hairstyle it shocks fans with mc commenting on one of his pics, “you’re welcome x”

Likes going to the Hard Rock Cafe on causal weekends

also likes getting freaky in public, down for whatever 🤪

He’s a traveler so if he leaves the UK, I’m seeing him land in Toronto, Canada first and falling in love with it. I feel he would vibe well with the culture there, might even consider getting a vacation home in that location

Celeb crushes? Anne Hathaway, Beyoncé, Lupita Nyong'o, Anna Diop, Imaan Hammam, Jodie Comer, Megan Fox, Shay Mitchell, & Cassie Ventura Fine

Oh Lucas. I feel like we have similar tastes? Somewhat. He probably listens to more rock than I do? Maybe 80s rock moreso? & He listens to: WALK THE MOON, Allen Stone (his fav) , Emily king, Gavin Turek, Melanie Fiona, THEY., DPR live, & Sik-k

Anthem = Young the Giant, “Something to believe in”

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part eighty/

Word Count: 5.9k

A/N: woohoo! 80 chapters! thanks for reading! feedback is always appreciated

Warnings: angst, language

Taglist:  @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless,  @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @awesomealmostdopestudent, , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy @thanks2pete,  @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001,  @waywardprincess666, @malibubarbievince, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist  @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @lauravic​, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe​,  @kellysimagines​ @thoughtsoftheantagonist​ @marvelismylifffe​, @sleepyjunhong​  @meetthesixxter​ @sparxx27​ @gingerspicetalks​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @unknownoblivion​ @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy​ @sublimeprincesswasteland​ @kylieinwonderland​ @haileynicoleseavey17​ @lavendersoundbarrier​ @youretheonlyonewhomakesme​, @xxisxxisxxis​, @dogmom2014​, @cruesixxlover1991​, @xpoisonousrosesx​, @cranberrirolls​, @m0rnlngstar​, @love-struck-aries​, @findingmyths​, @patheticgay69​, @i-want-to-shoot-myself​, @arianareirg​, @fentitrbl​, , @motleycrueprincess​, @redlipscrystalskies14​, @samanthadegaro​, @oskea93​, @idkmanhereisshitilike​, @idumpyourgrass​, @makaelahdelvalle​, @brideofdraculana​

Nikki’s hand felt like a damn weight wrapped around mine as we walked into Arianna’s school to drop her off. It was the first day back from winter break and she wanted the both of us to escort her in. She walked in front of us smiling big as other teachers greeted her as we forced our smiles and pretended like everything is a-okay.

His hand kept twitching around mine, well squeezing lightly as he knew I didn’t want to be holding it. Why would I? It’s been a week since everything and all we’ve done is argue after Arianna goes to sleep.

We arrived at her kindergarten classroom, Arianna excitedly running to her cubby to put away her backpack and give her lunchbox to Miss. Martinez to put in the fridge for later.

“Bye mom!” Arianna came over, crushing her face into my knees as she wrapped her arms around me. I bent over and kissed the top of her head.

“I’ll see you after school, alright? Be good today.” I smiled at her, smoothing my hand over her hair to tame it.

“No auntie?” She asked me, out of the corner of my eye I saw Nikki rolling his. I elbowed his side before crouching down to her level.

“We talked about this Ari.” I spoke softly as I held her hand, “Auntie will only be picking you up if me or daddy can’t. She’s living with Tommy now, so we need to be big girls and do things without her. You’ll still see her later this week maybe, okay?”

She nodded with a pout on her lips, “Okay...bye daddy.” She mumbled raising her arms up as he scooped her up in his arms.

“You have fun today, babe and I’ll see you later.” Nikki kisses her cheek and ran his hands up her sides, making her giggle as he put her back down. She waved to us as she went to go sit at the table with her other classmates.

“Vanity, it’s nice to see you. Happy holidays.” Her teacher came up to us, peppy as always.

“You too, Elaine.” I smiled at her, “I had to tell Arianna she couldn’t bring all the toys she got from Christmas to school.”

“Of course, it’s nice to see you again Nikki. I hope to see you more this semester. Could always use another dad on the PTA, I know Vanity has caught a few of our meetings.”

I smiled at Nikki, watching his nose wrinkle up in disgust, “No thank you. I’m sure I would scare them but yes you’ll see me more. With Arianna’s aunt out of the house, I’ll probably be the one picking her up from school because Vanity will be at work, right doll?” He snaked his arm around my waist and kisses the top of my head.

“Of course, honey.” I forced a smile, but my teeth were gritted.

“Ah, Clementine. That’s too bad, I know Arianna was extremely fond of her. She would sometimes talk my ear off about her auntie all day. Oh! If you two want to sign Arianna up for some little league sports, the paperwork is down by the office. I know she enjoys running around and kicking the ball around at recess with the boys.”

“She does?” Nikki seemed genuinely surprised as I had to hold back an eye roll and a laugh.

“Yeah, how do you think she came home last semester with that giant scratch on her leg?” I told him bitterly, “We’ll stop by the office before we leave and discuss it tonight at dinner. Thank you Elaine.”

We both waved by to Arianna before leaving her classroom, “Okay, I gotta get to the studio-where are you going? Van, I’m already running late.” Nikki groaned as I turned the opposite way of him.

“Didn’t you hear me? I’m going to the office to pick up paperwork for sports.” I rolled my eyes as he followed me down the hallway.

“Vanity, we don’t have time for little league sports. You know, with the album being produced and then we’ll be going on tour before we know it.”

“Huh, I don’t remember being a member of Mötley Crüe?” I turned the corner, making sure not to bump into kids as I walked up to the bulletin board near the office and examined it.

“Well you aren’t, but you two will be going on tour with me.” I laughed as his statement as I looked between soccer and softball.

“Says who?”

“Vanity, don’t fucking start.” He said in a lower tone as I reached up and took a packet.

“You keep making decisions for us Nikki without bothering to tell me.” I glared at him, “I am not going on tour with you and neither is Arianna. I’m not just gonna rip her away from school and home just because you want us to be with you.” I shook my head, growing frustrated with him already. And it was barely nine in the morning.

“You use to love going on tour with me.” Nikki mumbled as I laughed.

“Because I was twenty five years old without a care in the world who just wanted to get fucked by a hot rockstar and plug my nose up with blow.” I folded the papers up and placed them into my purse, “We’re not kids anymore, Nikki.”

I started walking away from him, feeling him grab my hand as I quickly pulled it away from, “Jesus fu- are you really still mad at me?”

I glared at him, “Am I really still mad at you?” I tapped my chin, “Hm, let me go pay off Tommy to get him to shut up and back off so you and I can be together for my own selfish reasons. How would you feel about it?”

Nikki pretended to think hard, “I actually wouldn’t mind.” I rolled my eyes as we walked out the front doors of her school, “But Tommy’s my best friend, he would know when to back off. That’s something you can’t say about Clementine because she doesn’t know her fucking boundaries.”

“Yes she does.” I raised my voice just enough as he stared me down when he opened up the car door for me.

“No, she fucking didn’t. She was always in our space Vanity, we never had a moment alone without her calling for you.” Nikki spoke before slamming the door. I closed my eyes for a brief second and took a few deep breaths.

“Just take me home so you can get to the studio on time.” I spoke to him as he got in and buckled up. I reached for the dial knob to turn on the radio.

“I’m already late so you’re coming with me.” He stated as he turned out of the parking lot and started driving down the street.

I groaned, “Nikki, really? It’s my day off I want to be at home. There’s laundry to do and I needed to go grocery shopping and Anarchy has to go to the groomers today as well.”

“Can you chill for five seconds? It’s barely eight thirty in the morning. And I only have to be there till noon. I’ll help with laundry and we can go to the store after I’m done at the studio and Anarchy’s appointment isn’t until three-“

“..And three is when Arianna gets out of school. And she’ll want a snack and she’ll need help with her homework.”

Nikki laughed, “Oh come on! How hard can her homework be? Ain’t it just coloring?” He shook his head as he took a sip from his water.

“No, it’s counting and tracing shapes and letters and she struggles with writing out things. If you helped with her homework you’d know that.” I explained to him as I saw him roll his eyes under his sunglasses.

“I do too help her. We count guitar picks or her gummies. Unlike you who makes her count on her fingers, that’s boring. I make learning fun at least.” Nikki said in a matter of fact type tone.

“Whatever. She doesn’t stay focused long enough when I help her with math-“

“Because you’re boring, doll.”

I scoffed and lightly smacked his arm, “I am not!”

Nikki reached for my hand and kisses my knuckles through a smile when we came to a stop at a red light, “I love you.” He rested our hands on the center console as he brushed his thumb over my skin repeatedly.

“Yeah, yeah I love you too.”

Some days I think Nikki and I are okay. That things are good and normal, if you can even call our relationship normal. Today was one of those days. I mean, yeah we’re arguing a bit but it’s not volatile like it usually would be. It’s tolerable. Then there’s days like how it has been with New Years and the Clementine situation that makes me believe we aren’t okay. But I also know we have more good days than bad days.

I sat comfortably in the silence as Nikki traced shapes with his fingertips, “Is Clementine gonna be there? I haven’t seen her..” I quietly spoke. I was nervous about seeing her again and how she would be. I don’t think she would hold it against me. But still, I was worried.

“Yeah probably. She’s been there every day this past week acting like an abused little puppy. She sits on the couch and doesn’t say anything unless Tommy or Mick talks to her.” Nikki said bitterly as I sighed.

“Great...” I mumbled as he pulled up to the gates of the studio. The security guard buzzed us in as we soon parked after.

“You’ll be fine.” Nikki reassured me as I nodded. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked in. The white walls were riddled with gold, platinum and diamond record plaques of all the artists that have worked here. We walked down the hallways before Nikki opened up the door for me.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. It was Arianna’s first day back at school.” Nikki explained as he took off his jacket and hanged it up and went straight over to the other three right away.

I stood by the door seeing Clementine sitting on the couch reading a book, not even bothering to say hi to me. I noticed there was refreshments off to the side, I grabbed a water bottle and a lollipop.

“Good morning, Van.” I turned around to look at John, I quickly moved out of his way.

“Uh morning. How are you?” I questioned as I unwrapped the candy and stuck it in my mouth.

“I’m great, you?”

I shrugged, “I’m here.”

John chuckled and poured himself a cup of coffee, “Ain’t it a bit early for candy?” 

I watched as he dumped sugar packet after sugar packet into coffee and when he was done he reached for a donut, “What’s the difference between this and that?” I asked as he glanced at the items in his hand.

“That’s fair.” He laughed, “It’s nice to see you. You barely come to band practice.”

I nodded, sucking on the tip of the lollipop before taking it out of my mouth and licking the sticky residue off my lips, “It’s boring. I’ve been to too many. Plus Arianna and me working now. I’m only here because I was forced to come.”

John grinned, “You poor princess.”

“I’m only allowed out when my captor says it’s okay.” I joked. Sorta.

“Well you two aren’t together so why does he have a say?” John asked confused as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Huh, I think I like you even more now.” I smiled wide.

“So I’m guessing you won’t like to be on tour with him when we end up going?”

I shrugged, “I would love to go on tour, but again we have a child so it’s kinda difficult. It’s just something him and I have to discuss.”

*Nikki’s POV*

I grabbed my bass out of the case as I started to tune it, strumming the strings lightly as I went. I looked up when Tommy hit my knee, “What?”

“I found those pamphlets you were asking for.” He said as I watched him pull out his wallet and hand me a folded up laminate paper.

“Dude. Really? She’s right there.” I quickly took it from his hands as I spoke in a hush tone, “I haven’t brought it up to her yet.”

Tommy raised an eyebrow, “No? That’s gonna go over well. You know how hard it was to just get her to go to therapy in New York? It was fuckin difficult, Sixx.”

I rolled my eyes as I stuffed the paper into my front pocket, “Well I think we need to go together. You went to this?” I asked him and he nodded.

“Yeah-“ he glanced at Clementine for a moment and then leaned a bit closer to me, “Before I got with Clem, Heather and I were going. We only went to like three sessions though before we decided divorce would be better. But a lot of the stuff the therapist was saying made sense and I’m sure it could help you guys, if stubborn over there gets on board with it.”

I sighed, “I’m gonna make her favorite tonight and then after talk to her about it. We can’t keep doing this fighting with Arianna in the house and I know she’s sick of it like I am.”

“Good luck Nikki.” Tommy laughed as he patted my shoulder, “What’s Corabi doing?”

I looked over my shoulder seeing him and Van talking, “He has a crush on her or something. Kinda like how you did.” I shook my head and laughed as I turned back to the bass.

“Well I’d be mad if the roles were switched and he was trying to make a move on Clementine.” Tommy pointed out as I rolled my eyes.

“Hey baby!” I yelled for her as she looked over at me, “Can you make me a cup of coffee and bring me a donut. The maple one please.” Van nodded and started getting it for me.

“I’m not worried about him. He isn’t even her type.”

“What’s her type then?” Tommy asked as I smirked when Van came over.

“Tommy wants to know what your type is.” I asked her as she stared at me.

“My type? Like guys? Or?”

“Guys.”

She chuckled, “Asshole bassists named Nikki.” Van handed me my cup of coffee and donut, “Why?”

Tommy and I both looked at each other and shrugged, “Guy talk.”

She rolled her eyes at us, “Whatever, thanks for getting me away from John. He wouldn’t shut the fuck up.”

I glanced at Tommy giving him a told you so type look. I patted the stool next to me for her to sit down, “It’s too early for candy.” I pointed at the lollipop.

“Oh shut it and let me rot my teeth in peace. I’m gonna get my period soon.”

“Ew.” Tommy stated, his nose wrinkling you in disgust.

I chuckled, “Dude, you have a girlfriend.”

“Yeah I know, but that’s different. It’s Vanity.”

I laughed and continued tuning the bass so we could get started. I noticed Van kept looking over at Clementine. I nudged her side, “Just go talk to her.” I said quietly but she shook her head, “Van..”

“She’s reading.” Vanity retorted, “So how’s the album coming?”

“Van, stop being a puss and go talk to her. She’s nervous just like you are.” Tommy butted in as he twirled his drumsticks, “She’s worried you hate her.”

I rolled my eyes, “That’s fuckin dramatic. Just go talk to her so we can work.”

*Vanity’s POV*

I stared at Nikki as he gave me the cold shoulder after he snapped at me. I looked at Tommy and he shrugged his shoulders and motioned me to go to Clem.

I sighed and got off the stool and walked over to the other couch adjacent to Clementine. I saw her eyes flicker to me before she continued to read her book, “Hey..” I squeaked, twiddling with my thumbs. I took a step or two to sit down on the couch but she quickly put her legs up on the cushion. Well that sure as hell made it clear.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling my heart beat in my ears, “What’s up?” I asked, grabbing a rolling chair from the nearby desk and sitting in it.

“Not much.”

I nodded, watching as she went back to reading the book. I tilted my head, “Oh! Interview With a Vampire. I didn’t know it was a book. The movie was really good.”

Clementine shook her head and spoke in a monotone, “They missed a lot of important parts.”

“How are you doing?” I asked, seeing her glance at me as I smiled brightly.

“Fine. You?”

“I’m okay..” I looked over at the guys practicing a new song, “They sound good.”

“Yep.”

My hands were lightly trembling so I held them in my lap, “Um, did you get settled into Tommy’s okay?”

I watched as Clementine turned the next page, “Yeah, it’s been nice.”

“Good, good. I’m glad. I am sorry it happened the way it did. You having to leave and everything..”I spoke as she finally looked at me for longer than a millisecond.

“I’m sure Nikki is pleased. He got what he wanted finally.”

I frowned at her words, “No, no. It’s not like that at all. I am so sorry Clemmy.” I repeated myself as she chuckled and put the book on her thigh.

“Really? So you’re sorry for him? Because he doesn’t think he did nothing wrong?” She scowled as I shook my head at her words.

“N-no I’m not, I’m not trying to apologize for him. I’m saying sorry for how it happened and how I was yelling.”

She rolled her eyes and picked her book up, “Yeah, whatever V.”

“Maybe we can go grab lunch or-“ I stopped talking immediately when I noticed her cold hard stare, “...or not.”

“I’m busy with some commissions. So thanks for the offer.”

“Oh! That’s great Clem! I’m happy you’re finally getting commissions done for people other than me and Tommy.” I smiled, speaking harmlessly but then my  smile went away as she scoffed at my words. 

“I’m not some useless artist after all.”

I was taken back by her words, “Useless? Clem, I have have never said that and neither has Nikki. So you can’t say that about him either.”

“Yes he has. Multiple times. Can I get back to reading now? I have nothing else to talk about with you.”

My eyebrows scrunched together as I got up, “Yeah, sorry for interrupting you.”

I did not ever imagine Clementine would be that standoffish towards me. I sighed as I went over and sat on an amp next to Nikki. He stopped strumming a melody and looked at me, “I told you she didn’t want to talk to me.” I frowned, eyed beginning to get heavy with tears, “She hates me Nikki.” I mumbled to him as he sighed and gave my thigh a squeeze before reaching for my hand and kissing it.

“Baby, if she can’t get over it and just let it go then that’s her own damn problem.”

I shrugged at his words, “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” I glanced over at her, pretending like I wasn’t even in the room.

“She’ll be crying over you in a week Van, saying how much she misses you. Quit overthinking it. I see those gears turning up there.”

“I doubt it.”

“Vanity.” Nikki gave me a stern look, “It’s going to blow over. It’s still fresh, okay? If she’s being a bitch do you want me to say something to her?”

I looked at him, “No, no. Please, I don’t want you to do that. You’ve already said enough to her. It’s fine.”

I watched as Nikki glared, sending sharp daggers Clementines way. I noticed her squirm a bit as she adjusted on the couch and brought her book up higher to her face.

“Nikki, stop glaring.” I lightly swatted his chest, seeing the jaw muscle twitching.

“You don’t deserve the coldness from her. I do, it was my fault. So that shit ain’t right to me, Van. Where are you going?” Nikki questioned as I stood up to grab my purse.

“I’m gonna go get my nails done and I will come back to get you when I’m finished.” I told Nikki as he reached for my hand and pulled me to him.

“But I want you here, baby. Just hang out with me and the guys.”

I shook my head and leaned down to give him a kiss on the lips before bringing my lips to his ear, “You’re working and I’m uncomfortable and I’m going to end up crying if I don’t leave.” I stepped back and moved some pieces of hair out of his face, “So I will see you in a few hours.”

Nikki nodded as he dug into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet and handing me his credit card, “Be good.” He warned.

I smiled a bit and took his card, “You be good too.”

*Later that evening*

After dinner, I was sitting on the couch watching tv, or attempting to watch the tv as Arianna kept running back and forth between the living room and the backyard with Anarchy. I smiled and scooted over when Nikki came over with a glass of wine for me and sat down.

“Dinner was so good. I’m stuffed. Thank you baby.” I leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. I took a sip of the wine before putting it on the coffee table.

“Anytime doll, you know I don’t mind cooking.” Nikki smiled as he lifted his arm up to wrap around my shoulders. I leaned into his side as we watched TV.

“Actually, while we have a moment of peace and quiet since the terror is occupied. I have something for you.” Nikki grinned as he lifted his hips up and pulled out a folded up white piece of paper and handed it to me:

‘Santa Monica Therapy and Behavioral Health’

“There’s a uh, therapist there. Her name is Crystal Peterson and she specializes in a lot of different issues. Like uh, anger management, anxiety and depression. Um, and couples that kinda...well that are kinda like us...”

I stared at the pamphlet with the list of areas the doctors their specialize in.

“Tommy, he went to see her with Heather when they were still trying to work things out. He said she was really good and that maybe she could help us-“

“No.”

I folded it up and handed it back to him. I reached for my glass of wine and the remote to change the channel.

“Why not? Van, I think it could be really good for us to maybe go talk to someone.”

I shook my head, “I’m not gonna pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars just for some therapist to tell us shit we already know. No, I’m not going Nikki.”

“But-“

I groaned and got off the couch, “I’m not going to therapy, relationship counseling, life coaching whatever the fuck it is you want to do. I’m not doing it. So you can take this nice little pamphlet and shove it.”

Nikki glared at me through choppy bangs, “Well, that kinda sucks for you because I already scheduled an appointment for the beginning of next month. We are going, Vanity.”

I breathed out, “Of course you did.” I rolled my eyes, “Nikki, why do you keep doing shit behind my back and just decide to drop it on me?”

“Because of this right here, Vanity! Because of the stupid, pointless bickering I have to go through every day with you. We need to do this!”

“We need to talk about stuff like this! Jesus Christ, why does it have to be always about what you want?! What about what I want!?”

Nikki laughed, “Oh knock it off. It’s always about what you want. And you always get it! You should want this Van!”

I shrugged, “Well I don’t, Nikki.”

He scoffed as he got off the couch and grabbed his boots that were sitting by the TV and his jacket off the back of the couch, “Where are you going?” I asked him, following him through the entry way as he walked to the front door, “Hello? I’m talking to you.”

Nikki quickly turned around, making me take a step back. I felt like a cunt when I saw his eyes were red and starting to feel with tears, “You should want this, Vanity.” He spoke through gritted teeth, “You should want to talk to a therapist with me for us! For our fucking daughter! But you don’t, so guess what that makes me think? It makes me think that you don’t even want this relationship. That you don’t want me.”

“Oh come on.” I laughed in disbelief, You can’t be serious, Nikki.”

Nikki closed his eyes for a split second, shaking his head as he let out a huff of hot air before he opened up the front door and quickly walked out. I watched his figure get distorted behind the glass panel as he went to his car and drove out of the gates.

*Later that night*

“Anarchy come on!” I shouted from my bedroom as she was barking up a storm downstairs, “Anarchy come here.” I whistle for her, hearing her tags on her collar jingle as she went up the stairs. I sat up in bed and reached across to turn on the lamp, “What are you barking about?” I asked as she jumped up on my bed before quickly running back down the stairs.

I yawned and saw that it was little after two in the morning. I slid off my bed, grabbing the black silk robe off my dresser before putting it on and walking out my door. I leaned over the railing when I heard light banging on the front door.

“Nikki?” I spoke out as I went to his bedroom, flipping on the light to see he still wasn’t back after leaving earlier.

I went down the stairs, Anarchy coming to my feet as I patted the top of her head. I heard muffled voices on the other side as the doorknob started rattling followed by more knocking against the wood.

“Fuck...” I muttered to myself as I disarmed the alarm with the code and opened up the door, jumping a bit when I saw John holding up Nikki in front of me.

“He’s, he’s like super drunk.” John slightly slurred with a laugh as he let go of Nikki, making him stumble over to me.

“I told you not to take me fucking home.” Nikki grumbled as he leaned against the archway, before tripping over his feet. I quickly wrapped my arms his waist to keep him standing up right, but he tried shoving me away “I-I don’t need a damn speech how I’m a fucking terrible person and just ruins the princesses fucking life.”

I sighed, “Thank you for making sure he got home safe.” I told John as he nodded in return.

“Of course. Goodnight guys.”

Nikki slung his arm over my shoulder, my cheek being pressed into his beer soaked shirt as I helped him walk inside the house. His fingers fumbled over the alarm panel to lock the house back up.

“Move Anarchy.” I nudged her out of the way with my foot as I brought Nikki over to the couch, almost missing it as he plopped down and laid on his side.

“Go yell at me.” He mumbled as he buried his face in the cushions. I reached for his foot and started untying the laces to his boot.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, Nikki.” I pulled on his leather boot and tossed it to the side before moving on to the other.

“Bullshit. There’s always something with you.” Nikki spoke harshly as he sat up and watched me, “I hate when you get mad at me.”

I tried ignoring him as I started unbuttoning the black dress shirt he’s wearing, “Well theres nothing now and I’m not mad at you. Can you lean forward? Your shirt smells like booze and it needs to be washed.” I looked at him as I pushed the fabric off his shoulders.

“You were mad earlier.” He shuffled on the couch as he pulled the shirt off his arms and handed it to me, “I-I think we should still see someone, V.”

I grabbed the shirt from his hand and took it to the laundry room and tossed it in the washer. I went back to him seeing him bent over petting Anarchy, “Come on, let’s get you to bed” He shook his head, “Nikki, seriously. You need to sleep.”

“I don’t want to loose you again.”

“Nikki, I’m right here.”

He rolled his eyes, “That’s not what I mean and I think-“ he spoke through a hiccup, “I think we, we both have things we need to get off our chest.”

I sat down on the couch next to him watching as he fumbled with my fingers and kissed my hand. With a sigh, “Why do we need to have someone tell us how to be in a relationship? I have nothing to talk about Nikki.”

Nikki slumped down on the couch as he rested his head against my arm, “You always have something to talk about. I just wanna have a happy life with you and Arianna..”

“We went to therapy in New York-“

“Yeah, a half assed session because you decided to blackout and drive. That’s not the same Vanity.”

I chewed on my nail as he sat up again and looked at me, “I’m happy, Nikki. Yeah we argue, but we’ve always argued.”

“I know you’re lying. You haven’t been happy here.”

I rolled my eyes and looked away from him, “Yes I have. Don’t tell me what I’ve been feeling because only I know that.”

“You don’t share a bed with me, you don’t give me hugs or kiss me, you barely like to hold my hand. We don’t talk like we use too. It’s like I’m just talking to an old friend, like, do you even still love me anymore?”

“Jesus Nikki, you’re drunk.” I got off the couch and stood in front of him, “Of course I love you so don’t ask me that question. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I don’t want to have some stranger sit across from me and tell me how bad we are for one another because I know we aren’t. Why can’t we just figure it out in our own? Why do we need some dumb therapist?”

“And maybe this one won’t. We clearly can’t figure it out on our own, Van. Can we at least try? It worked for you in New York, so why can’t we do it here too?” I scoffed at Nikkis words.

“Oh? I don’t remember you being there when I was at my lowest and crying to my therapist. So how the fuck would you know if it worked? You don’t, because it didn’t.”

“Because you didn’t go! And don’t tell me you went because I know you and I know you didn’t bother. Therapy works as long as you keep continuing it constantly. It’s not just a one time thing and poof you’re fixed. We could really benefit from it.”

“You keep saying we, like we’ve discussed this before and we haven’t! You spring shit on me and wonder why I get so upset with you.”

“I’m not springing anything up on you! I am trying to talk to you about it. Fuck, you can sure talk to Clementine about everything that’s wrong but you can’t talk to me. Makes fucking perfect sense.” Nikki barked bitterly as I stared at him.

“Huh, well I don’t have that now because she won’t even look at me! You saw how it went today at the studio! You ruined my friendship Nikki-“

“And I’m sorry for that but for fucks sake she needed to go!”

“No, you wanted her to go Nikki! You wanted that. Fuck, just go to bed. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” I shook my head and picked up his boots before tossing them over by the stairs near his other pair.

“Oh? So we can’t talk at all then. Got it loud and clear.” Nikki argued back as he pulled himself off the couch and stood up, wobbling just a bit.

I stared at him, “I meant because you’re drunk, you fucking psycho.”

“You’re the one whose fucking nuts.”

“Me? I’m nuts?” I questioned, watching him nod as he sat back down when I stepped up to him. I laughed, “Here’s a thought, maybe take a step back and realize why I get so upset and irritated with you, Nikki. You have done every shitty thing in the book to me! Drugging me, playing with my emotions for years, acting psycho and possessive when I even think of talking to another man that isn’t you. Dying on me, knocking me up just to cheat on me. Coming back into my life and just dangling me along your string for months because you couldn’t decide if you want me or your slut of an ex wife. Paying off my best friend just because you’re a selfish, egomaniacal, drowning in mommy issues and numbing it with drugs and alcohol brat! I’m going to fucking bed.”

I breathed out and turned to walk away from him only to stop when a decorative pillow hit my back.

“Fuck you.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Fuck me?” I picked it up and threw it back at him, “Real mature, asshole. This is bullshit Nikki. You can speak your mind and express how you feel whenever you want, but god forbid I do it as well.”

“Because you never have anything nice to say about me! It’s always Nikki’s an asshole or Nikki ruins everything for me!” He rolled his eyes, mocking my voice as his tone was riddled with disgust it seemed like.

“I always say such good things about you Nikki, but lately you have been an asshole!”

He was quiet for a moment before grabbing the pillow he threw and placed it on the couch, “Whatever Vanity. Go fuck someone else if you’re so unhappy with me. Let someone else deal with your bullshit like I do.”

I watched as he laid down on the couch, grabbing the maroon blanket from the arm rest and put it over his face, “Goodnight Nikki.” I hit the light switch, feeling my hands shake as I walked up the stairs. I sighed seeing Arianna staring at me with her purple fairy blanket wrapped around her head and shoulders.

“Let’s go back to sleep.” I picked her up as she wrapped her arms around around me and I carried her to my bedroom and laid her down. I got in beside her, anarchy jumping up and laying by my feet.

“Did you hear me and daddy yelling?” I asked as I got comfortable and played with her hair. She nodded a bit and curled up next to me.

“I’m sorry baby.” I wrapped my arm around her and kissed the top of her head, “Me and daddy are just having a bad day.”

A bad day, week, month and a bad everything.

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Once and Maybe Future Chapter 14: Incognito Patrol

When Nimue sees a girl with far too many hairclips and radiating dark magic, it's up to her and Douxie to save Arcadia.

Heyyy, yes I know it's been over six months since I last updated and this fic is now very much not canon compliant. At least this chapter is half the length of all the previous chapters combined.

Originally this was going to be a single chapter covering the events of both "Night Patroll"/"Terra Incognita II" as well as "So I'm Dating a Sorceress" and "The Exorcism of Claire Nuñez", but due to the length I decided to only have it cover the events of "Night Patroll"/"Terra Incognita II" in this chapter; another chapter is going to finally get around to the Clairegana-and-Douxie confrontation and not just the aftermath.

AO3

FFN

It was a normal day at the Zimue records store.

Which was to say, it was absolutely boring, but there were enough customers around that Nimue couldn’t practice magic… or even really do homework for her independent study courses, considering that her manager was here today.

The door opened and closed with a blast of warm late May air.

Nimue shivered and grabbed the counter as the flashback overtook her.

Nimue-the-first did not leave her lake often. She was busy enough with her forge, and she didn’t care much for most people, especially not in crowds. She frowned as she saw wagon tracks on the road; she was getting close to a village or at least a farm. She preferred for her adopted son and his family to visit her rather than the other way around. They may be royalty, but she was a sorceress and far older. They could show her some respect.

Instead, she’d be paying her last respects to her son and her daughter-in-law.

There was a war outside her lake, and there was dark magic fueling it beyond what the Gumm-Gumms could normally use. It had been a long time since she had last seen Uther’s stepdaughter or her green-eyed gaze, but Nimue-the-first knew that Morgana had corrupted herself and was fueling the war. That, or the war was fueling Morgana; Nimue-the-first could feel it in her bones.

Nimue’s bones ached as she was released from the flashback to her first lifetime. She glanced around, trying to figure out just what had caused the flashback this time. However, there was nothing new in Zimue, nothing that would’ve set her off, and definitely not anything that would’ve caused her to flash back that far. Nimue inhaled deeply, trying to see if maybe Douxie was cooking something up next door, potion or otherwise. That had set her off once. She had been tempted to tell him then and there the truth about why she had magical powers, but she had stopped herself. Wizards were normal. Relatively rare compared to most of humanity, but normal.

Reincarnation, as far as she knew, was not. Heck, every legend about King Arthur returning was propaganda, so it wasn’t like he’d reincarnate, much less anyone else from her first lifetime.

It was kind of lonely, walking around with so many memories of bygone eras, but it had been Nimue’s life since she was twelve. Besides, the magic was more than enough to make up for it.

Then again, Douxie would never practice dark magic, and even if he wanted to surely Archie would stop him. She squeezed her eyes as she manned the register. She felt worse with every customer, though it was possible that she just was getting a headache and mistaking it for dark magic. Dehydration, maybe, as ironic as it was.

A girl stepped to the front of the line, holding the new Papa Skull album. She had a white streak running through her dark hair, with multiple colored hairclips and a matching Papa Skull shirt. She looked a little sick, a little sleep deprived, a little younger than Nimue.

Nimue gulped as the girl placed the album on the counter. The girl smiled shyly before coughing into her elbow, loud and shaking.

Magic radiated off the girl as Nimue rung up the album. It was old, and it was dark.

Perhaps being the only one with magic and memories from bygone eras would have been for the best, as lonely as it was.

The girl walked out, taking most of the dark magic with her. There were some traces of it lying in the air like a miasma.

Nimue quickly swiped her hand over her pocket to make sure her phone was there. She’d ask her manager to let her take a break, text Douxie, and the two of them would go after the girl with the dark magic. Hopefully she was just some kid with latent talent who found a dark magical spell on the internet.

“I’m taking my lunch break,” her manager told her right before she could open her mouth. “Make sure we don’t get robbed.”

Nimue made sure her back was turned to her manager before she grimaced and hoped that she had enough hay fever that it was distorting the amount of dark magic she was sensing.

“Nimue, calm down and talk a little more slowly,” he said. They were both on break, her from her day job and him from band practice with Ash Dispersal pattern. Specifically, Hank and Raoul were off to grab burgers for their lunch.

Nimue took a deep breath. “Look, this girl came into Zimue and there was something bad about her. Like, I could feel the dark magic coming off her in waves.”

Douxie decided not to ask her just how she knew it was dark magic, though he did wonder. For someone who had had no training outside of spell books on the internet and his father’s attempted tutelage of the two of them, she progressed remarkably fast. Douxie hoped that Nimue wouldn’t be able to sense years-old dark magic. “Okay, do you want me to fake being sick and go after her?”

“Uh… she left the shop an hour ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Douxie was secretly glad. Nimue’s reaction to dark magic users scared him.

“Because my manager already doesn’t like me and this was the soonest I could go on break… it could be hay fever, but I made sure to take my allergy meds and I don’t think it is.”

“Okay, okay, well, what does this girl look like?”

“Uh… brown or black hair with a white streak, green, wait, no, brown eyes…” That certainly didn’t narrow down the field that well, but it did help affirm the fact that there was something about the girl Nimue had seen that had her spooked. “Oh, yeah, she was wearing a Papa Skull shirt, and hairclips? Uh, like, two, no, three, no, there might’ve been more… it’d be easier if I could show you.”

“Nimue, we both know that the extent of your drawing abilities are runes and stick figures.”

“No, not a drawing, there’s surveillance video in the store, and she came straight up to the register.”

“Isn’t that illegal? Somehow? We don’t need the law coming in and messing things up somehow.”

“I mean, technically the improvements on your pipes might also be illegal since you didn’t tell your landlord about them and they’re also giving you extra water.”

Douxie grimaced; he still wasn’t entirely sure if one day he’d have to deal with the magically enhanced water turning what was supposed to be his dinner into a potion of some sort.

Zimue closed at 7 PM every day, so at 9:30 PM Nimue snuck out of her house to break in. Her parents thought that she was sleeping after having prepared for finals she’d be taking. She wore a beanie and long sleeves to cover up her dyed hair and magically induced tattoo.

“Douxie, I thought I told you to do something that would make you less recognizable,” she said. He was wearing what he wore every day, except he didn’t roll up his sleeves.

He dramatically placed his hood over his head, and then awkwardly tucked his dyed bangs behind his ears. “Why’d you want the water bottle?” he asked, pulling one out of his pocket.

“For this,” Nimue said, sighing wistfully. She preferred shopping for clothes in the women’s section, but she missed having space in her pockets. She took the water bottle, uncapped it, and then upended it. As she handed the water bottle back to him, she made a swirling motion with her other hand.

Another good reason for wearing long sleeves: her tattoo was probably glowing right now.

A thick fog surrounded the two of them and the storefront.

“Oh. Cool,” Douxie said.

“Wish it could’ve been a smoke bomb instead of a steam bomb, but this is good enough, I guess,” Nimue said. “Besides, we don’t want to set off a smoke alarm.”

Douxie knelt next to the door, pulling out a pair of straightened paperclips. He inserted them into the lock, wiggling them around. His expression grew frustrated, and he closed his eyes. When he stood up once more, he held the lock with one of his hoodie sleeves.

“I thought you could pick locks,” Nimue said. “Well, without magic, anyways.”

“Last time I picked a lock I was in foster care, and before that…” Douxie stared off into the distance, a morose look on his face.

“Before that?”

Douxie blinked and put on an obviously fake smile. “Eh, tragic backstory stuff.”

“That joke stopped being funny halfway through ninth grade.” Nimue pushed past her friend and opened the door. Fog filtered in, covering the cameras. “Okay, so we keep the security footage over this way.”

Douxie closed the door behind him. “You know, I don’t even know if the magic shop has security cameras.”

“Good thing mystery dark magical girl came here, then.” Nimue pulled up the footage. “And good thing my boss showed me how to go through this in case we ever get shoplifted from or anything. Not that we probably will, ever. At least, if we do it’s probably gonna be on my day off. And, there!”

Douxie looked over her shoulder at the slightly grainy video, taking a photo of the girl. “She goes to our school. I saw her outside Mrs. Barros’s office last year. I think she’s a year younger than us?”

Nimue groaned, standing up and beginning to erase the evidence that she and Douxie had broken in. “If she’s a year younger than us, then she might be a member of that stupid pilot program where freshmen could graduate in a year and a half.”

“I can ask the guys; they might know since they still go to actual school.”

“Make sure you get a name; it might make it easier to go after her.”

“Hey, Nimue?” Douxie asked. She threw a glance over her shoulder as she locked up the store.

“Yeah?”

“What are you going to do to her, once we find her?”

“I don’t know exactly, but she’s got dark magic. She’s dangerous, and we’re the only non-dark wizards in Arcadia. We need to stop her.”

Douxie gave her the same sort of faraway, morose look that he did whenever he accidentally shared a detail about his childhood before foster care. Without a word, he turned away and walked to his apartment.

Nimue let the enchanted fog roll away and began to walk home. She tried not to think about Douxie’s question too much. Anyone who used dark magic had to be evil since they’d know better than to use it. They deserved what was coming to them.

“Hey, does this girl still go to our school?” Douxie asked, holding his phone out to the other members of Ash Dispersal Pattern.

“What, do you wanna ask her, wait, no, sorry, forgot you were gay,” Raoul said. Honestly, Douxie was still a little surprised that he had even had to come out to Raoul and the other guys last October. After all, Douxie trying out for Ash Dispersal Pattern had been him trying to confess his crush to Hank back in freshman year. Not that it mattered, anymore, since all the other guys in the band were straight and Douxie had moved on from his crush six months after the band had formed. “Uh, I don’t know?”

“Nimue saw her at the record store, fiddling with a ring, and she dropped it. Nimue found it after she’d left, and she wanted to try to find a way to give it back to the girl. I remembered seeing her outside of Mrs. Barros’s office last year, but I’ve got no idea about if she’s in the year-and-a-half program.”

Hank walked over and squinted at the photo. “She doesn’t go to our school; she transferred to mole high. She’s friends with my ex; the girl’s name’s Claire. Do you want me to go over?”

“Dude, Mary isn’t gonna get back together with you,” Dominic said.

“No, well, I have no idea about Hank’s ex. But no, I’ll go over,” Douxie said.

“Hand out the Battle of the Bands flyers when you get there, will ya?” Douxie took the stack of papers from Dominic. Good, now he actually had a reason to go there.

Multiple female students of Arcadia Oaks High swarmed Douxie, but not as many of them grabbed the flyers he was passing out. None of them were Claire, either. One of them mentioned the nickname that Nimue hated. Personally, Douxie wasn’t sure why it was such a problem; Hank had gone through a phase where he’d called everyone by their first initial, but there were two guys with a name starting with the letter “d” in the band and Dominic was significantly shorter than Douxie. Therefore, “Big D” and “Little D”.

A girl pushed through the crowd and tripped, dropping her books. Douxie knelt next to her helping her grab her books, and then he felt the waves of dark magic coming off of her. Something about them felt familiar, but how? Douxie placed a smile on his face.

“C-Bomb, is it? Consider me blown away, because you are nuclear.” If she knew that he was a wizard, then she would understand that this was a sign of respect. A sign that he recognized her power, but also a sign that he recognized the danger she radiated.

She smiled back but said nothing. Hmm. Maybe Nimue’s theory of Claire being an inexperienced wizard who accidentally cast a dark magic spell was possible, but that powerful without knowing how to sense for magic? That was strange. Perhaps she was goading him?

A boy in blue walked up to them, slinging his arm around Claire’s shoulder. “So, what brings you to our humble school?”

The boy placed a hand on Douxie’s chest, pushing Douxie away as Claire began to cough. That was nice of him. Something about the boy felt oddly familiar, and not just because Douxie remembered seeing him at Benoit’s multiple times. No, Douxie almost felt caught in a feedback loop, like he had sent his own magic outwards and then it got sent back at him. Almost. The magic that got sent back felt purer, less tainted. Innocent, and not yet marred by necromancy.

“The Battle of the Bands is coming up,” Douxie said as he handed a flyer to Claire. “Ash Dispersal Pattern – that’s my band – will be crushing this.” And maybe the hand motion Douxie made was a little too threatening, but there was something odd and Douxie felt like he had to do something to show a little of his strength. Not too much, but enough to make himself seem like he wasn’t a victim. “But, we’re encouraging others to give it a shot.”

Claire coughed again after congratulating Douxie on Ash Dispersal Pattern’s headline performance for Papa Skull last fall. Douxie couldn’t help but wonder if it were a regular cold, or if perhaps the illness were magical in nature. If so, maybe he, Nimue, and his father could find –

No. Douxie would have to help her on his own. Nimue and his father thought that dark magic users were evil and dangerous. They would probably advocate for letting Claire die if the illness caused by her own meddling in dark magic, or perhaps the two of them would grant “mercy” to Claire by killing her. They would probably do the same for Douxie if they ever found out the truth.

Two girls rushed over to Claire, exclaiming that they should be a cover band. Neither of them seemed to have anything magical going on, but Douxie was pretty sure one of them was Hank’s ex.

“I don’t know,” the boy said, pushing Douxie away once more. “We’re pretty busy with our after-school activities.”

Hmm. Were Claire and the boy perhaps trying to learn magic together, much like Douxie and Nimue were?

Claire took the flyer back from the boy and agreed with the girls about starting a band. Douxie glanced to his hands and quickly put them in his pockets. They were empty, and they were trembling. But why? Claire seemed powerful, but not necessarily threatening.

“I look forward to seeing you again, Fair Lady Claire,” Douxie said before walking away. Yes. Perfect. That was exactly the right amount of respect to show to a fellow wizard whose diplomatic position towards you was still unknown but was clearly dangerous due to her clearly dark but hidden power. It was good to know that, after a millennium and a half for everyone else and eight years for himself, his diplomatic training as a prince had finally paid off. If only his parents, Merlin, or Uncle Kay could have been alive and in the right mind to see him.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. This whole morning was stupid. Nimue had been so stupid as to tempt fate. She glanced up from the tile she was trying to kill with her eyes when the door opened and closed, and her best friend walked into Zimue Records.

“Everything okay?” Douxie asked.

“We got fucking robbed,” Nimue said. “This wasn’t supposed to happen to me! If this was going to happen, why not on my day off?”

“Well, at least you have security cameras. Was anyone hurt?”

“No, though the shoplifters played dumb like they didn’t know what shoplifting was. Ugh. At least some cop got there so no permanent damage was caused and I didn’t even need security cameras. How’d flyers go?”

“Fine, I found Claire.”

“Okay, and?”

“And what?”

“And what have you done about her? Fireballs? Potions turned Molotov cocktails?”

“What? No! I’m not blowing up our rival school, and neither are you! No, I just got a feel for her, and I treated her with the proper amount of respect.”

“Proper?”

“Yes. Given that she’s powerful, I called her by the term Lady,” Douxie said as Nimue smacked her forehead. “What? There’s no need for her to immediately want to kill us for disrespect!”

“Douxie, this is why people think you’re straight.” She wrinkled her nose. “Please tell me you’re just being cheeky when you call me Lady Nimue and not trying to curry favor.”

“I’m being respectful to you because you’re my friend… but also sometimes it bugs you.”

Nimue rolled her eyes. “Okay, so what are we going to do about Claire? You have any ideas about how to fight a dark wizard?”

The door opened and closed, but no human walked in. “You two won’t be.”

“You told him?” Nimue said.

“No, but he should have,” Archie said. “You two are louder than you think.”

“I didn’t want you to worry,” Douxie mumbled.

Archie raised an eyebrow at Douxie. “Between raising you,” he said before turning to Nimue, “and teaching you my fur has gotten plenty grayer without the two of you taking needless risks like tracking down a dark wizard.”

“But she could be hurting people! And we’re the only ones in Arcadia who could save the day! If we pull off some sort of sneak attack – “

“You won’t be,” Archie said. “If the two of you are to be fighting another wizard, which you won’t be, I expect you to fight with honor.”

“She’s a dark wizard. She’s evil.”

“Or she’s young and hasn’t had the training that you have. She might not know the difference between regular magic and dark magic. After all, did you know the difference when your powers first awoke?”

Nimue’s breath caught in her throat. Of course, she did; she knew so many things instinctually from her past lives.

“Or Claire’s desperate,” Douxie mumbled, breaking Nimue from her thoughts. Archie turned to him.

“That’s not an excuse to use dark magic, and it’s especially not an excuse I want to hear coming from your mouth – either of your mouths,” Archie said. “If this girl turns out to be a danger to others, or to be using dark magic while being fully aware of the consequences, then fine. I will guide the two of you in planning an attack. But I do not want either of you getting near this dark wizard without me. Am I clear?”

“Yes, Archie,” the two of them said in unison.

“Good. Now, how is studying for finals going?”

[en-theheights]

Part two of the problems in HSMTMTS:

In my last post I stated the situations within the fandom not regarding the s*xual assault allegations or the BLM movement. In this post I will be. Let’s dig in.

Sidenote: when I say that someone hasn’t posting anything at all on their Instagram about the BLM movement, I just mean that they haven’t posted anything on their feed. They could’ve posted a bunch of stuff on their insta-stories, but those go away after 24 hours, and it doesn’t count for me.

Joshua, Olivia, and Frankie, were VERY late when it came to talking about the BLM movement. They didn’t say anything until people called them out for not saying anything, and at that point it seemed like they only posted about that stuff because of peer pressure or bandwagoning activism. Olivia is doing her part now, Joshua posted a thread on Twitter a week after eveything had happened. He also said that he donated money. He posted a petition and a photo on Instagram, but that’s it. He hasn’t said anything else about the BLM movement since May when people acttacked him for it. When people dmed his manager on why he hasn’t been speaking up about the matter, she would block them. Here’s what he said on Twitter:

Frankie said something and is mostly doing his part on Twitter, but on Instagram he hasn’t said anything. Joe was hated on for posting the black square and then deleting it because it didn’t follow his aesthetic on Instagram. Although, he is doing his part on Twitter.

Dara, and Julia both unfollowed Joshua on Twitter, as well as unfollowing him on tik tok alongside Sofia too. Don’t know if it had to do with the BLM movement or not, but there is obviously some turmoil between the cast members. (Oh the things I would do to see their group chat rn) Everyone else has been spot on about the BLM movement, and has definitely been doing their part.

Onto the s*exal assault allegations:

Joshua has currently two s*xual assault allegations against him, but the third one came out to be false. Long story short, a young lady on a Twitter named Gr*ce accused him of s*xually assaulting her, but then it came out that she was lying about the whole thing for some “social experiment” She was cancelled VERY quickly. Here are a few twitter threads you can view to learn more about the false accusation:

This is what Gr*ce accuses him of:

This is what what the user shows to say that the accusations are fake:

Tumblr only allows me to post 10 pictures so I’m showing the two screenshots out of them all what I feel is most important. If you want to read more about it, then you can head to Twitter and search up, “Joshua Bassett Grace” and it’ll be the one of the first things to pop up.

This is what he had to say on the situation:

“it has come to my attention that a now deactivated account has spread rumors about me regarding a fabricated encounter with a fan accusing me of sexual assault. this abhorrent rumor is absolutely false, and dangerous to actual victims with real stories. (1/2)”

““i’m sick to my stomach that someone would recklessly perpetuate such defamatory claims. it is vital to respect all peoples boundaries at all times. be kind and be good. (2/2)”

It’s people like her that make others afraid to come out with their allegations because people are just going to assume it’s false. She is a sorry excuse for a human being. Yes, he spoke about the first allegation against him, but he still hasn’t addressed the others ones. This is another one that had come out about him:

It’s not s*xual assault, nor is it s*xual misconduct, really just him being a shitty human being. This one has little to no proof, and it’s hard on what to believe. Personally for me, definitely could be true, but that doesn’t mean he’s an abuser, just more of a guy you shouldn’t try anything with.

The third allegation against him is so hard to comprehend and understand, and I’ve literally searched all over twitter to find it, but I can’t seem to find anything about it. The bare minimum that I know of is that he was messing around with underage girls, but that is just what I could find out of the mess that is Twitter. Still, there is no actual proof that he has been, so believe what you will. Most people have come to Joshua’s defense due to the sporadic accusations against big male celebrities like Ansel Elgort, Justin Bieber, Cole Sprouse, etc. It seems to be a trend now to accuse male celebrities of sexual assault to possibly gain money and internet fame. This is disgusting, and I hope that the other girls that are accusing Joshua are being truthful.

Julia and Joe both liked Joshua’s sexual assault post, but then immediately took their likes back. Julia got on something called Cameo in which you get paid to speak about certain things. Someone asked her her opinion about Joshua’s allegations and she defended him.

Personally for me, she does know Joshua better than the fandom, so Im not surprised at anything she said. She wasn’t going to go on and say bad things about her co star. Although, I don’t think it was smart for her to speak up about it, and then try to beat around the bush. This is also a note to ALWAYS believe the accuser and never the abuser. Just because you stan Joshua does not mean he’s a good person. He’s going to show us what he wants us to see..obviously. stop saying, “he would never do that” because that’s what 12 year olds say. We have no idea the type of person that Joshua is behind closed doors and off camera. This goes for every celebrity ever. Please be smart and know which side to stand for. If the allegations against him turn out to be false, then I’ll switch sides.

Tim Federle was accused of s*xual misconduct a few years ago, but it has finally come to light. Tim hasn’t come out to say anything about it, but it’s DISGUSTING and he needs to address it:

Here a website that you can visit to read more about it:

Once again I’m going to believe the accuser rather than the Abuser. Don’t forget that this allegation against him happened quite a while ago. But because Disney is such a powerful network, any and all information about him during that time has been deleted. Buzzfeed did an article about it, but it was deleted. There is currently a petition going around for Tim Federle to be fire as show runner of HSMTMTS. It needs 1,500 signatures and it’s so close to its goal. Go to change.org and learn more about the petition there. Again, believe what you will, but Tim went very quiet after his accusation came out.

Alright there. I have laid out eveything that I know of that has happened in the HSM fandom. If you still choose to stick with this fandom, than that is completely up to you. I know Tumblr is the safe place for all fandoms, but it’s important that all of you know who and what you’re supporting. This is in no way showing you why you should or shouldn’t leave the fandom. That is completely up to you. Do what you will with this information. I have chosen to overall just completely forget about my involvement with this group and move forward.

Remember:

Know who to stand for

I’m now done with this fandom. If there are still any questions, than my dm is always open.

[purplesurveys]

1278

Social Media Survey

[joybucket]

What is your favorite social media site?  Either Twitter or YouTube, though I never use YouTube as a social media site per se so I guess this round goes to Twitter.

Do you use...

facebook? myspace? twitter? snapchat? instagram? youtube? pinterest? bzoink? another site with message boards? tumblr? deviantart? xanga?

Facebook

Do you get on Facebook every day?  Yeah pretty much all throughout the day. I used to never use it, like never ever; but back in college all announcements were coursed through Facebook so I was technically required to be on it regularly, and it was from there that I began to see memes and start to be more active. I’m a shitposter more than anything though and I rarely ever post stuff of my own. How many FB friends do you have?  I have 679 at the moment but I want to get rid of like 500 of them; it’s just such a long list to go through so I never get to proceed with my unfriending spree lol.

Have you ever been on a deleting spree?  HAHA I just mentioned that. I’ve always wanted to, but like I said 679 is already such an exhaustive list for me, and that’s considering I only started touching my Facebook in like 2019. I can’t imagine people who started Facebook in like 2009 and have 4000 friends aka most people I know.

Have you blocked a lot of haters?  I don’t have haters; at least I’m not aware of any that I have. Not that it’s something I care about at this point.

Do you get bullied online a lot?  No, but that’s also because I don’t really open the channels for people to send in hate. I don’t have Q&A handles like Curious Cat and I never pick out that option in Instagram where people can send in questions.

What's your favorite Facebook app?  Oh I never use Facebook for their apps. Are those still even a thing...? Anyway, I mainly go there to be on the hunt for stupid memes I can reshare or to watch videos that are either funny or informative.

Are you a fan of selfies?  I don’t mind if other people do it, but I think I’m honestly bad at selfies so I almost never take them. I’ve never figured out my angles or what filters look ok on me.

Has anyone ever called the police on you because they didn't like your status?  No but I have had my posts reported because they were deemed ‘offensive.’ Which is weird because my posts that have been taken down are those that speak out against disgusting men, which says a lot about Facebook runs their shit more than anything else.

Are you in any facebook groups?  I’m in nearly a hundred groups, both private i.e. for school purposes, and public.

Are you the admin of any groups?  Nah. Too much time and effort needed out of me.

Do you report abuse to group admins whenever you see it?  Yes. I report the post then leave the group.

What could make Facebook better?  They could put more effort into detecting and banning troll farms.

What year did you start using Facebook?  I made an account in 2012 because of a high school class that required us to upload this specific video-format homework onto Facebook (which in hindsight is such an insensitive homework considering that was nearly a decade ago when the Philippines was still severely behind in internet connection speeds?? Ugh). But I didn’t start actively using my account until around two years ago.

What is your current profile picture of?  Myself, posing in front of the sunflowers in school during the recent graduation season.

Did you like the old Myspace better than Facebook?  I was never a regular user of Myspace, so...

Pinterest

What are some of your favorite boards?  I’ve never had a clue what the purpose of Pinterest was. I mean I have an account...but I’ve also never gotten the hang of it?? so I never touch it hahaha.

Have you ever done a craft you saw on Pinterest?  Well no, because I’m terrible at arts and crafts anyway.

Do you have a Dream Wedding board? If so, what's on it?  No.

If you have a Dream House board, what does your dream house look like?  Ok fine this one I did start hahahah but I don’t even remember what I added on there anymore. I’m sure it was filled with modern-style houses with minimalist interior design.

Do you wish they'd bring the "like" button back?  I’m not even aware of this option.

Do you have a Bucket List board?  Not aware of this either.

Which do you like better: Just Girly Things or And That's Who I Am? The second one sounds less childish. < Same, and it sounds like it covers more.

Do you have a board for tattoos you like? If so, what are some of your faves?  No. The only one I ever made was the house one, then Pinterest quickly became boring from there when I realized there wasn’t much else I could do besides making mood boards.

Do you have a "Random" or "Miscellaneous" board?  No.

Have you ever reached the maximum number of boards?  No.

Do you have any secret boards?  No.

Have you ever had a Pin deleted because of copyright laws?  No.

Do you have a Color board? No.

Do you have an About Me board? If so, what's on it? No.

YouTube

Do you have a YouTube channel? If so, what is it?  Technically I do but I only have it so I can tailor video suggestions to my interests and so that I can like videos and subscribe to channels I like.

What kind of things do you post on YouTube?  I’ve never posted any video on there, not even private ones. I’m also not the type to comment.

What do you like to watch on YouTube?  These days YouTube serves as a stress reliever for me, which is to say I would typically go for humorous BTS-related compilations because there are sooooo many hilarious channels that make these great videos haha. Occasionally I’d go back to channels or series that I used to frequent, like Good Mythical Morning, Buzzfeed’s Worth It and Unsolved, Try Guys, Watcher, etc. 

Are you subscribed to any channels?  To so many.

Do you watch any vlogs? If so, what ones are your favorite?  Hm probably Jiwoo’s, though her channel is called Mejiwoo. I find her content calming and conversational and basically fun to binge-watch when I’m not looking for anything super super particular to watch.

If you have a channel, how many subscribers do you have?  0. I’m just a lurker.

Will you subscribe to my channel? (msg me if you want a link!)  Only if it’s really fit to my interests, I guess.

Do you watch music videos?  Rarely; not a fan of MVs in particular. I only really ever put an exception for BTS.

Have you ever watched a TV show on youtube?  Well no since their copyright team works hard and works fast lol. I do watch entire video game walkthroughs from time to time.

Have you ever worked out to exercise videos on youtube?  No, I can’t care less about working out tbh.

Have you watched Amanda Todd's famous video?  No. I’m scared that it might be too upsetting or triggering for me.

Have you ever looked up how to do something on YouTube?  Not really, I prefer looking up articles that can teach me step by step in words.

Do you get a lot of hate comments on youtube?  No, I’ve never posted anything on there.

How long have you been a youtuber?  Never been.

Instagram

Do you post on Instagram a lot?  I do 1-3 Instagram stories in a week, I would say. As for posts, I only have 4 in total and I don’t really feel the pressure to add more. I just post when I feel the want to.

Have you ever posted a poll on instagram?  Nah, I’m not too sure if anyone would participate so I’ve never tried. If you don't have an iPhone, do you wish you could use Instagram?  I’m pretty sure other operating systems can also use Instagram...

Do you have any followers?  Around 50, I think.

Do you like Instagram filters? I’ll use them sometimes to make my stories appear prettier.

Twitter

Do you think twitter is stupid? Hehe show me at least one person who doesn’t think so. < Coming from someone who regularly uses Twitter, agree. It is crazy stupid but stupid is what I’m there for. Which is honestly not always such a bad thing to me - I like that people are more themselves, more stripped-down, vulnerable on Twitter. People always seem to want to show off their best selves on Facebook and Instagram, so I’m actually kind of grateful that there is at least one social media out there where people can just be their clumsy, goofy selves.

How often do you tweet?  Probably a maximum of five a day. Nowadays I’m on there mostly to just scroll through my timelines.

Do you get on twitter every day?  Yes, both on my personal and fan account.

Bzoink

Do you make a lot of surveys?  I never make them but I try to take them as often as I can.

Do you take a lot of surveys?  Haha sorry, was one step ahead of you. Yeah, I do.

Do you post in the message boards?  Nah. I dunno if I’m even permitted to check the message boards on Bzoink considering I don’t have an account.

What types of surveys are your favorite?  Categorized surveys like this one or countdown ones can be fun, but at the end of the day I like sticking to the classic random survey.

Do you have friends on here?  Not on Bzoink, but here on Tumblr yes! There’s a number of people here I like keeping up with :)

Do you post all your secrets on here?  Again, not on Bzoink; but yep I share pretty much everything here.

What type of survey do you think I should make next?  Anything but basic/about me-themed ones that will ask for my name and eye color and weight.

Do you read peoples' answers to your surveys?  I’ve never made a survey.

Do you think you are good at making surveys? 

Do you try to make unique surveys?

What type of surveys do you want to see more of?

Random

This or That

Scattergories

Have You Ever

Are you like me?

About You

Personal, Deep Questions

Girly

Music shuffle

Would You Rather

Do you have this in your bedroom?

Long

Short

All About Your Crush

Fashion

Make-up

School

Music

Your health

Your friends

Confessions

Girl Confessions - how different is this from just confessions? Hahaha

R-Rated

Controversial topics

Myspace

Did you have a myspace when you were in high school?  I started an account in like 4th grade when Myspace was ~big, but I didn’t find it fun and everyone my age was on Friendster anyway, so I was largely inactive.

Do you use myspace now?  No. Is it still even around? I have no clue.

Do you miss bulletins? I didn’t get to join in on the fun so there’s nothing to miss.

Did you like customizing your profile with the old myspace?  Not attributed to Myspace but I did have a lot of fun customizing my Multiply and Tumblr accounts back in the day. That was a period where I really got to learn and play around with HTML :)

Did you have music on your profile?  Not on Myspace again but I did on Multiply! I had a cute little playlist that played the songs immediately as soon as you landed on my page hahaha.

Did you learn HTML when you used Myspace?  Tumblr, yeah. I believe the skills are still there but I’ll definitely be a bit rusty.

Did you have a customized cursor?  Oh, no. Wasn’t a fan of those as I found them a bit tacky.

Did you use glitter graphics?  Also found those tacky haha no, I never used those.

Do you remember posting glitter graphics on friends' pages?  Nope.

Did you make "dolls"?  I don’t recall ever making those.

Did you use photo captions?  Not sure what this is referring to so let’s just say no.

Did you have a photo slideshow on your profile?  Hmmm nope, I don’t think so.

Xanga

Did you have a Xanga account back in the day?  No. It wasn’t big here so I had never heard of it until I started taking surveys on here and heard people mentioning Xanga, actually.

Do you have a xanga account now?  No.

Did you post photos and quotes on your xanga page?  I never had any.

Snapchat

Do you use snapchat?  I did; I was superrrrr active on there for a time. It kind of just got old at one point, though, and my feed got more and more dead until I too just left my account dormant altogether.

What is your favorite filter?  There were a lot of cute ones on there that helped me be more confident with taking selfies but my favorites have to be the dog and flower crown ones.

Tumblr

Do you understand Tumblr?  I had a better handle of it when I ran a fan account that required me to be more active; but now that I really just go on here to take surveys I just use the basic functions and nothing more. But yeah, I understand just enough to get by.

Do you use Tumblr?  Yeah. Even on the days I don’t post surveys, I regularly go on here to keep up with friends I like keeping up with like Elisabeth, Lane, Steph, Lina, Julie :)

Other

What forum sites did you use to love that aren't around anymore?  There was one message board I frequented for this girly/tween magazine I used to collect, but I won’t share the name.

Are there any other great social media sites that you recommend?  I think this survey was able to cover all the main ones I use.

Do you use a photo editing site? If so, what?  I use apps instead of sites to edit my photos.

Do you ever use BeFunky.com?  Nope.

Do you use a video editing site? If so, what?  Nah, I rarely have to edit videos in a super intricate, detailed way. Apple’s video editing features suffice for me.

Have you ever downloaded fonts?  Very occasionally since it’s never necessary.

Have you ever used photobucket to upload an image?  No but I remember going on there back in the day to look for images. I never uploaded any, though.

Do you use iTunes?  Not anymore. I have an account on Spotify now.

Do you listen to music on Pandora?  No, never used it.

[galenfm]

          ·ﾟ☀ i am already so tired of myself and i have class soon aGAIN ........ ugh well again , i am teddy , a she / her pronoun user and current mun to two muses in this delightful shining star of a group ! i now present galen , my newest gaming gf creation who just wants everyone to fucking include each other ! my preferred plotting method is via discord over at 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫 !#6439 , i’ll make a plotting call there and i’ll reach out to everyone who likes this !

      *       read   all   about   galen sorenson ,   otherwise   affectionately  nicknamed   the champ.   the   twenty - one  year  old  gamer  and  blossoming  actress  is   widely   known   for   being   uninhibited,   magnanimous,   self - deprecating,   capricious   and   recently   made   headlines   when   they   allegedly   dropped a sponsor due to their support of autism speaks .   apparently   judas   claims   to   be   sitting   on   an   even   bigger  story   involving   them   -   whatever   the   truth   may   be,   i'm   sure   it   won't   stay   hidden   for   long.   &    a screaming laugh following a jumpscare waking the whole house , overthinking an interaction hours after it’s passed , a childhood spent begging to be read the ugly duckling and lingering on every word , neurodiversity stickers pasted all over a gaming pc. ◜   ⭒  ic:   alisha boe.   cis woman.   she / her.    

BIO : mohammed and karina sorenson have never been a conventional pair . to start , they meet when he , the biggest male model of the 80′s , is hired to walk for her winter collection , being one of europe’s top knitwear designers who never seems to go out of style . he’s eccentric and as magnetic as can be , she’s demure and has never said a word regarding anything but her work . they don’t make sense , but they’re married two years in secret before finally making their relationship known . mohammed , progressive and independent minded despite his traditional somali family , takes her last name and relocates to norway , where karina gives birth to a stunning baby girl that steals the hearts of the eu as the tabloids go crazy over her . 

elissa is nearly 18 when her mother has the news to shock a nation : she’s miraculously pregnant , once more , far enough along that she intends to keep the baby despite both her and mohammed being into their 40′s . karina , having named their first baby , gives the reigns over to mo for their second child , but isn’t too happy with his pick

galen literally translates to mad , to incorrect , she argues , elissa firmly on her side

it gives her a chance to choose her own path . it gives her something to make for herself , mohammed counters , and that ends that .

galen is born in olso and is every bit as precious as her sister , now old enough to even potentially be her mother . her parents , busy with their ventures but over the moon to have a new baby in the house , raise her for her first few years in a small norwegian town to shield her from the prying eyes of the public

mohammed is first to notice that she doesn’t respond to her name or seem interested in looking at him , keeping her focus on whatever toy catches her eye for the day . he and karina write it off when she doesn’t hit her talking milestones or hold crayons the way other toddlers do , or figure she’s just an introvert when her preschool teacher mentions she doesn’t enjoy playing with the other kids during free time

they can’t ignore it any longer when she hits grade school , instantly falling behind with the rigorous private school pace and eventually warranting a visit from the school psychologist . she remembers the worry that paints her parents weathered faces when , at six years old , she’s given a laundry list of diagnoses and recommended for “ alternate ” schooling

something about the way her teachers treat her , so broken and unworthy of respect , makes her shut down , regressing with any progress she had shown and really refusing to cooperate with most adults she comes by . elissa is a budding starlet taking weekends off from film roles to spend time with her little sister , knowing that behind the quiet dark eyes of the child who wouldn’t look at you was a bright mind teeming with unsaid thoughts

her parents go to all ends to hire her private tutors and special therapists , which help her keep up at grade level . she’s in middle school when her science teacher , noting galen’s aptitude on exams and incredible recall , says she may fare better in an american school , recommending one he knows will accept a prestigious line such as the sorensons . 

she moves to pennsylvania at 12 and the change is hard . she again regresses and suffers at the hands of her peers at the private catholic school she attends , her parents reaching a level of despair thinking they’ve failed their daughter , unable to get her the help she deserves despite their best attempts . galen , sick of being deemed the broken doll , seeks out an escape from the world to try and give her some reprieve from the constant pity she wishes she could express is only doing more harm than good

she likes makeup but sucks at it , enjoys art but can’t seem to draw for the life of her . she knows she’s tone deaf as all hell and doesn’t like sweating enough to be willing to dance . for once in her life , despite all the years of trying to ignore the well - meaning comments of those around her , galen starts to believe maybe there is something wrong about her .

it’s elissa’s celeb boyfriend who buys her an xbox for christmas , figuring the two could play it as a bonding experience . brimming with quiet gratitude , galen spends hours on the damn thing in between study sessions . tutors notice an improvement in focus , more motivation to work and get things done so she can finally hop back onto the console and escape into a fantasy .

she begs her parents to let her do homeschooling for her high school years , to which they agree and she thrives . she upgrades now to a gaming pc and plays through everything she can get her hands on . people on her teams don’t know her , and they don’t treat her any differently than anyone else , so before long she’s unlocking a bubblier side to herself that just feels content .

she records her playthroughs in silence ( she’s gaining confidence , but still shy , and god knows how the internet treats female gamers ) and uploads them to youtube under a stupid channel name with only a few hundred subscribers . noting the accuracy and speed with which galen destroys shooter games , someone suggests she try overwatch .

galen is hooked in an instant . she plays matches in between daily activities and quickly climbs ranks to becoming a force to be reckoned with in the competitive community . after finding a team where she feels particularly at - home , they launch to stardom due to their sweeping wins and incredible cohesion . galen becomes something of an overnight sensation , quiet and unassuming , and this recognition feels like the validation she’s been seeking for herself this whole time

she blossoms and cements her legacy as an overwatch competitive titan by the time she graduates , reaching grandmaster status and being known throughout the community for her strategy and technique . her youtube channel grows exponentially , and after realizing this is a viable future for herself , galen posts her playthroughs with her commentary and finds that people love what she does . she moves to new york in order to collaborate with other big gamers , and on her channel , she does a combination of horror games , overwatch trainings , and new release reviews and builds a following similar to markiplier or jackseptic eye , with a second vlog channel to document when she goes off to tournaments or simple things from her days

she’s 19 when her repeated wins get the attention of a massive gaming studio who invite her to come record some lines as an easter egg of sorts for her fans in a new game they’re developing . her work is met with rave reviews and suddenly game titans are nearly breaking down her door for more voice acting work . galen , who’s always felt like the ugly duckling compared to her sister’s perfect legacy , takes this opportunity to emulate her sister’s career , and nearly doubles over when a film studio approaches her with interest of casting her as a supporting role in a project of theirs . though she’s never pictured herself to be in front of a camera quite like that , with some coaching , galen nails it , and finds the high of acting catapults her from relative fame into newfound stardom .

she’s one of the newer members of the brat pack considering her youtube fame was more inconspicuous than her film work , though she still is adjusting to life in the limelight . she stays close to her roots and continues to post regularly to her channel and streams on twitch , collaborating with other increasingly big names to gain her more views . 

galen’s most notable push since rising to fame has been her advocacy for neurodiversity and recognition for how poorly people with learning disabilities are treated in society . she doesn’t go in detail with her diagnoses but she does make jokes about them on her stream in order to normalize their mentions . she recently dropped a sponsor for their support of autism speaks and donates a majority of her merch revenue and tournament winnings to advocacy causes . she’s proud of who she is and hopes the future can be shaped into what kids like her needed when they were growing up .

galen lives up to her father’s prediction this whole time and changes her channel’s name to galengaming , proud to tout the moniker that spurred her to create a path she wanted rather than be told who to be by the world around her . 

PERSONALITY : galen has an energy about her that is like the sun hidden behind a cloud . upon first impressions , she’s a bit more timorous and nervous as she gets her footing of wherever she may be , especially with some of the more public - eye type settings she’s been put in since sort of being sucked into the brat pack . she wants to make sure she’s acting appropriately for whatever the situation calls and may often seem tense or apprehensive .

once she’s loosened up or seen a familiar face she can latch onto , she blossoms into a ball of unfiltered energy . she loves humor and memes and can often be found competitively launching memes she’s found into her team’s group discord server . she’s witty and often makes herself the butt of her own jokes in order to lighten the mood , though she’ll be sure to clarify that she loves herself and only does so to keep herself humble lmao . 

her playthroughs are VERY stream of consciousness but its this lack of filter that seems to be her fans’ favorite thing about her , a willingness to say whatever unhinged thing she may be thinking followed by a shrieking scream after a jumpscare or a string of screeching expletives after missing a goal

she can perhaps sometimes be too unfiltered and unwittingly come across as harsh or blunt , though she’ll often realize this after the fact and feel incredibly remorseful . galen has a habit to overthink and will panic for the rest of the night if she fears she’s inadvertently offended you , but won’t apologize due to being too nervous to figure out exactly how to do so ssksksks

one of galen’s most notable qualities is her heart , her benevolence and empathy that lead her to want everyone to feel included regardless of how different they may be . though she tries to give everyone a chance , there’s a fair amount of people perhaps too materialistic for her to get along with , and her polite way to ignore them is simply keeping her distance and pretending to not know them

which . in her own way . comes across as shady sksksk “oh you know so and so ? ” omg no i dont haha who are they “ u literally met them last night ” hahaha no i didnt x

she can be prone to mood swings simply due to a sensitivity to her own feelings and a tendency to overthink . she’ll wonder why she feels weird and even if it’s just because she’s hungry she’ll assume it’s because she said “thanks you too” when the cashier told her to enjoy her meal and then she has to sulk and play animal crossing alone in the dark for an hour before she can come out and be chill again even tho she feels worse than when she started bc shes just HUNGRY ASKSKKS

she’s used to being infantilized so she tends to be sort of short tempered if people talk down to her . this is when the wit kicks in as she is really just tired of being treated poorly by people who don’t even know her and has decided she will refuse to take any more shit ! can be a bit snippy even without realizing it but if she’s close to you she’ll usually be like “ oh my god that was rude as fuck im so sorry ” and feel bad for 20 minutes even after you say its okay lmaoo

random blurbs : um DONT ask me who she plays in her overwatch tournaments bc im using opossum and wikipedia to figure shit out as i goes , but i know for sure she calls out a lot of misogyny in the gaming world on social media !

always has her switch with her i KNOW this for a fact

anime nerd ....... nobody call her out on it she will deny until she is blue in the face and then hum the one punch man intro in her streams as if hundreds of thousands of people arent witnesses LMAO

this is so stereotypical nerd but she hates the outdoors ! says the US is so dirty and stuffy she says scandanavia is the only place she’ll ever like to be outside , she slips into norwegian when she’s recording if she gets jumpscared so she doesnt get demonetized for over - swearing lmao

also speaks french because she picked it up from her mom ! her dad usually only spoke english or norwegian , so galen didn’t get to pick up on much somali or arabic but she def knows at least a few words here and there

she vlogs a good amount of her life but she’s kinda shy about talking about who she’s dating , will probably try to keep her romantic life to herself !

excited as all hell to get into acting but the super fame that’s coming with it kinda freaks her out . she knows it’s a trade off bc she loves the feeling it gives her but hates how people are now overstepping a lot of boundaries that they didn’t before when she was just a popular youtuber

inspos are juno from the iconic movie juno , toph beifong from atla , louis theroux YES THE DOCUMENTARY GUY LEAF ME AL ONE , & amy from booksmart !

[xxisxxisxxis]

Special Preview: Gateway Drug | 1988

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I lean down and pick Monroe up off of my bed, grinning at him as he looks at me with wide eyes and a mouth full of pacifier. 

I already miss him. 

"You ready?" Dad asks when I get to the kitchen, grabbing Monroe's bottle and checking the temperature of it. 

"Viv, you don't have time to feed him right now. He'll be here any second." Dad tells me and I ignore him, popping the cap off and Monroe spits out his pacy and eagerly accepts his food. 

A car pulls into the driveway and my stomach churns as my father goes to check who it is. 

"Viv, your boyfriend's here!" Slash calls from my guest bedroom before coming out with Steven. 

I grab my purse and head to the door, the two of them following after me to go out, too, opening it to see Nikki standing there with flowers…

"H-Hi…" he starts, nervously, and I look him over for a moment, really appreciating his time in the gym.

"Hi." I reply, smiling. 

"These are for you." He tells me, and I take the flowers. 

"Thanks." I tell him, feeling everybody's presence behind me. 

I slowly turn to see my dad and the boys looking at us, knowingly. 

"I want her back at midnight." Dad says, plucking the flowers from my hand, and Nikki awkwardly laughs it off…"I'm being serious." Dad states, raising a brow. "I know you had issues with getting her home at a reasonable hour back when you two started dating, but this time I don't have to make myself overlook it to avoid her mother finding out about her seeing you...so I'm telling you, 12:00am your car better be in this driveway and she better be at the door. Or I'm coming after you, understood?" 

Nikki glances at me, waiting for me to protest it, but I honestly don't see a problem with it. I wanna be in early, anyway. 

"Got it." Nikki nods.

"And anything you do to her, I'm gonna do to you." Dad adds. 

"Dad." I mumble, glaring at him. 

Nikki looks slightly disturbed. 

"Have fun." He grins sarcastically, adding, "I love you." 

"Shit, gimme a second, man, I forgot my keys." Slash tells Steven in the background. 

"Love you, too." I say to my dad before shutting the door. 

"I didn't realize your dad was such a hard ass." Nikki comments as we walk to his car and I'm slightly shocked when he follows me and opens the door for me. 

"Thanks." I tell him, rubbing my lips together and sliding in.

"So," Nikki clears his throat uncomfortably…"Where to?" 

"Oh, it doesn't matter to--"

We're interrupted by knocking on Nikki's window, seeing Slash and Steven leaning down to see us. 

Nikki rolls the window down. 

"Hey, man." Slash says to him, chuckling lightly with a wide smile.

"Hey," Nikki says in the same tone. 

"You two be careful." He orders, half joking. 

"Oh, yeah, we will." Nikki assures him. 

"Yeah, and don't do anything we would do." Steven adds suggestively, and my face burns red. 

"And if you do, use these," Slash pulls a couple condoms from his pocket and hands them to Nikki. 

"Oh, my god." I whisper to myself, embarrassed. 

Nikki just smiles, tight lipped, avoiding making it worse. 

"Thanks." He replies. 

"We gotta head out." Slash pats the door. "See ya later, though, okay?" 

"Oh, for sure." Nikki nods. 

"Goodnight, love birds." Steven teases as the two of them go to Slash's car. 

Nikki rolls the window back up and tosses the condoms in the glove box, sighing. 

"I'm not having sex with you tonight." I inform him out of nowhere and he looks at me. 

"I already said in therapy I think it'd be a good idea to take things slow this time since we didn't the first time." He reminds me, almost as if he's offended I suggested he'd want to sleep with me on our first date back together (kind of).

"Well, I'm just saying."

"And I'm just saying." He states as we pull out of the driveway. 

We end up at a diner, and it's painfully quiet for a little bit before I decide to ask him…

"How's the, um, album going?" 

He sips his coke and thinks for a second before replying, "it's going good."

No elaboration, no conversation. My ice breaker failed me. 

"Oh." I nod. "Good."

"Yep." He adds. 

More silence. 

"So, is Monroe getting used to going between you and Duff yet?"

"Yeah, he's gotten used to his schedule so...it's gonna be a little hard having to miss a few visits here and there when they're across the world but other than that he's been doing good, so…" 

"Good." 

……...More silence. 

"Here's your eggs and sausage," the waitress hands me my plate, "And pancakes, and here's your steak and eggs." She hands Nikki his. "Can I get you any ketchup, hotsauce, steak sauce?" She offers. 

"Steak sauce is fine, thanks." Nikki tells her, nicely. 

Very nicely. 

Too nicely. 

I cut my eyes at him. 

"Coming right up." She steps away, glancing back over her shoulder at him for a just a millisecond and I scoff as he starts cutting his food. 

"That hasn't changed." I mumble. 

"What?" 

"'Steak sauce is fine thanks'," I mock him. "'And you can suck it off my balls if you want to, too'." I add. 

"Vivian, I'm being nice. Would you rather me call her a cunt and pour my drink on her for not bringing the sauce without me having to ask? Because Nikki one year ago would have done that."

"He would've had her bent over a sink all in the same hour, too..."

He drops his silverware onto the table and looks at me, unamused. 

"Do you just want me to take you back home?" He asks me, a hurt expression on his face. 

I think about it for a moment. 

"Because I'm trying to make this work and I'm trying not to mess this up with you this time but you need to meet me halfway, Vivian." He tells me. 

"Here's that sauce for you." She comes back and puts it in front of him. "Enjoy your meal." She adds, glancing at him and he rolls his eyes, picking up his silverware once more to finish cutting his steak up. 

"I'm sorry." I admit, feeling bad for trying to start an argument. "It's just weird being together and not fighting about something. We haven't just sat down and had a good time without it turning into a fight in years." I remind him. 

"Well, that's my fault." He admits. "And like I said I want to start over so let's just not do that shit this time. Deal?" He asks. 

"Deal." I agree, taking a sip of my water. 

We eat our food in silence, awkwardly waiting for the other to say something…

Nikki just finishes his food and looks at me, looking like he's thinking about something. 

"Whats up?" I ask him, cautiously. 

"Ya wanna go somewhere with me?" 

"Okay, the amount of times I've heard that and it's turned out to be in a bathroom, or the back of a car, or--"

"--No, not this time. I promise." He innocently insists and I rub my lips together, extending my pinky out to him. 

He grins and wraps his pinky with mine. 

We end up on the sunset strip, and when we pull onto the side of the street in front of the boys' old apartment, I furrow my brows.

"What are we doing here?" I ask him as he opens the door. 

"You comin'?" He asks me, and I take a breath and get out, following him. 

"Can we be out here?" I whisper, glancing around.

"Probably not." He replies as we walk up the fire escape to the window.

"Is anybody living here, Nikki?" I ask. 

"Yes, Viv, people are living here and we're just gonna break in on them." He says smartly and I roll my eyes. 

I guess the jank window lock never got fixed because he's lifting it up with a mere shake. 

"Get in." He nods, smiling at me. 

"Nikki, this is trespassing." I inform him, hesitant to climb through the window. 

"Viv, get in the apartment." He nudges me and I laugh. 

"Nikki…" 

"You gotta quit being that scared little church girl at some point, Viv, now c'mon." He chuckles, but I know he's being serious. 

I just look at him and shake my head a little before sliding into the apartment. 

He follows after me, pulling the window back down as we're in the pitch black apartment, the only light is from the neon shining in the street from the strip. 

"I wonder how many roaches would scram if we turned the lights on." He says without a thought and my skin crawls. 

"The lights probably aren't even on anymore since nobody's lived here in a while." I point out, keeping my voice down. 

"You think?" He chuckles, stepping through the living room, going to the kitchen. 

His hand goes to the top of the fridge, fumbling around where I used to keep candles in case the power went out. 

He's finding one that's covered in dust, but he just blows it off and digs in his pocket, pulling out a lighter.

He lights it and it only helps a little to help us see better, but enough to know where bugs are and aren't. 

I don't see any as of now, checking the stained carpet for rat crap before sitting down as he steps to me and does the same…

"I think it's important for you to know that this exact spot is where Vince and I came in to see Tommy screwing this chick just so he could drive her car." He informs me.

"What?" 

"Tommy had this girl and she said if he fucked her she'd let him drive her car, it was like a corvette I think or something but she was cute, she was a bigger girl, though." He explains. "So if you can imagine, me and Vince walking in and there's Tommy, on top of her, his legs barely able to touch the ground because of how big she was and he was a fucking shrimp so of course it didn't go too hot." He adds. 

"What did you do? Did you just leave or--"

"--We sat down and watched them finish." He admits and I widen my eyes. 

"Nikki, ew!" I wrinkle my nose. 

"What, it was funny watching him struggle to handle that much ass." He chuckles and I shake my head.

"You're disgusting."

"They didn't care." 

"You're a pervert." I declare. 

"Don't act like you haven't known that." He cuts his eyes at me. "That's probably one of the things that made you all hot and heavy for me in the first place." 

"Oh, please." I scoff. 

He chuckles a little more, getting quiet for a second. 

"What did make you interested in me?" He asks me and I look at him and shyly grin, making him raise his brows.

"I can't tell you that." I shake my head. 

"No, now you have to tell me." He licks his lips. 

"I can't." I laugh, feeling my face heat up. 

"Vivian Sixx, come on." He nudges me. 

"You're gonna think I'm shallow." I tell him. "And selfish." 

"Bullshit." He states, looking at me. "Try me."

"Well, you were very attractive and opinionated...and good in bed." I confess. 

"What?!" He sounds surprised and I roll my eyes. "Oh, no, no, all this about how much you loved me only for me to find out that the only reason you were even with me to begin with was because I could make your eyes roll to the back of your head." He teases, mimicking a hurt voice. "I was a piece of meat used for your pleasure. Wow." He adds. 

"Oh, like I wasn't that to you, then?" I ask, trying not to laugh.

"That was the plan at first." He admits. 

"At first?" 

"Yeah...then, ya know…I liked doing that stuff with you and then I liked just being around you." He tells me. 

"So it's safe to say the only reason we even got together was because we were inconsolably horny?" I ask. 

"Without a doubt." He rubs his eyes. "But see that's why I wanna take things slow this time. I've never taken anything slow and I feel like we didn't have time to really know each other before we got married because we were in a cloud of puppy love and lust and shit and jumped into it." He points out. 

"You're telling me." I smile.

"I didn't even think you'd want to do this." He tells me out of nowhere and I furrow my brows and look at him. 

"Do what?" 

"Hangout with me." He rubs his forehead.

"Nikki, c'mon." I scoff, elbowing him gently. 

"I just didn't see it happening this soon." He laughs it off.

"Why not?" 

"I thought you hated me." He says. 

"What?" 

"I mean, during therapy and stuff you were dealing with everything going on, I guess, and just got really hostile and I thought you'd end up wanting the divorce after I told you everything that happened and--"

"--I got knocked up with a man's baby whose career you helped and someone you thought of as a friend at one point." I point out. "I know we weren't technically together anymore but you still stayed when you could've left and I know that was hard. So if you could do that, there was no question about staying with you. I knew when we agreed to work things out that we'd have to hurt each other some more with the shit neither of us knew about over the years, but we have it behind us now so it's okay." I tell him. 

"I guess we just weren't ready to be together." He suggests. 

"No, we weren't." I shake my head. "But we're good right now." 

He smiles, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Yeah, we are." 

We sit silently for a moment, just looking at each other...his pretty eyes framed by black hair that isn't in its once mandatory teased state, his jaw is a little more pronounced since he's been working out, a few new tattoos on his arms. 

I blink slowly, the two of us getting closer without realizing it, and it's when he's glancing between my eyes and lips that my skin heats up and I have to get some space between us. 

"Um," I sit up, leaning back on my palms, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and he clears his throat, "I like your tattoos." I say to him, and he glances at his right arm and raises his brows. 

"Thanks, I'm getting them filled in, soon, and then I kinda want a whole sleeve by the time the album's done." He explains. 

I notice the "V" on his arm is now a "IV" and the small script "SIXX" is over it, as if adding an emphasis. 

"You fixed that." I comment, running my thumb over the ink. 

"Yeah, I had it done, like, the second week of January." He mumbles with an awkward look on his face. 

"Oh, I haven't noticed." I reply. 

"Well, I noticed you got that," he points to the small space between my ear and my hairline. "What's up with '17'?" He asks. 

"Something Izzy told me once when I was feeling crappy about myself. He told me I was a seventeen out of ten and it's something I've been kinda repeating to myself when I feel like I'm failing the whole independent thing." I admit. 

"Independent thing?" He asks, slightly confused. 

"You know, living by myself, doing things on my own?"

"Your dad's not staying with you?" 

"No, Nikki, he comes to babysit Monroe but he's not living with me full-time or anything. And Duff and Mandy are just down the road if I need them and Sharise and Heather and Emi come to visit and stay with me sometimes but other than that it's me and Monroe." 

"You used to couldn't even sleep by yourself, let alone live by yourself." He states.

"Well, you used to couldn't go a night without going to clubs and coming home at 4:00am high but look at you, now." I point out. 

"Point taken." He nods. 

"We're slowly turning into grown-ups." I add. 

"I guess we are." He agrees.

"Yeah." 

Again, he hones in on my lips, his hand coming up to grab my jaw gently, pulling me in to kiss him. 

"Nikki," I say quietly just as our lips brush together, "if you kiss me, I'm gonna end up face down, ass up, and I don't want to mess this up." I continue and he smirks, pressing a quick, chaste kiss to my lips, before leaning away from me, standing up. 

"I think it's nearly your curfew." He tells me, extending his hand to help me up. 

I nod, trying to hide my smile, before taking his hand and letting him help me up. 

When we pull into my driveway, I unbuckle and look at him, grinning. 

"I had fun." I tell him, about to open the door. "Why did we go there tonight?" I ask him before I leave, and he shrugs. 

"I figured since we're starting over we might as well have gone where we started together, you know." He tells me and I feel something pull in my heart. 

"Thank you, for tonight, Nikki." I say, genuinely, and he grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles. 

"Later, Sixx." He says and I grin.

"Later." I get out and shut the door, giving a small wave before stepping into the house, seeing my dad's already got the flowers on display in a vase on the table. 

I slowly start smiling, bigger and bigger until my cheeks hurt and a girlish squeal is echoing through the foyer while I kick my heels off and jump up and down, butterflies in my stomach.