#saving this for my lowest moments
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...3, 2, 1 personal rant incoming
(it's depressing I'm sorry)
#this year was...a lot#like from the lowest to one of the best moments#my grandmother died in summer and with it my whole family is gone it feels like now it's just my sisters and me#it feels weird and lonely#she and my grandfather raised us basically so it hits very hard#thankfully my brain just shut this out entirely#then we went to Japan on my dream trip one moment I wanted to cry the other just wanted to enjoy my life#I was waiting and saving for that trip so long#kid me would be so surprised and probably couldn't believe it#so many things happened and now I'm don't know how to put it...just feel free?#and just lost a bit#personal#delete later#I don't like to share these things but I'm gonna burst out if I don't scream into the void#2024 will be even more challenging#siiiiigh#as for art idk what I want to do#I will try to take less comms and keep it as a hobby probably#it never really worked out in the end how I wanted it to be#the clients through the years were all amazing and helped my growth as an artist do I'm forever grateful for that 🖤#strange times for sure
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People on tiktok will think oh no I'm having a panic attack and then sit on the floor, take out their phone, hit record, film 8 seconds of hyperventilation and add #spreadingawareness #neurospicy to the description
#not to negbrag but the last thing i want is to be filmed and immortalised while having a panic attack#im kind of distracted by what my brain is perceiving as a life or death situation so recording it is not something that crosses my mind#not 'fake claiming' or whatever i just think its fucking horse shit how even mental illness is commodified and neatly packaged#to fit into a marketer friendly box#also like. why would i want one of my lowest moments where i feel awful to be saved and uploaded. nothing is ever deleted forever online.
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one of the only gripes i have with Suki, Alone is that it makes her escape from the boiling rock....i don't know if hollow is the word i'm looking for, but? something along those lines?
like, all her talk with biyu about caring for the whole--
Suki, "...Maybe we can even grow enough to share with the other prisoners." Biyu, "The other prisoners?? Who cares about them?!" Suki, "I care about them. ... If we can get everyone better food, there's a chance for pushback against the guards. Maybe even a chance for us to escape."
Then later
Biyu, "I usually just look out for myself. But I'm starting to see the advantages of having friends around. Better eats, for one thing." Suki, "It isn't about advantages. It's about community. It we stand together, all of us have a better chance of making it out of this place. It isn't about using other people to make sure we survive. You understand that, right?"
and sure, plenty of that can just come down to the comic was released in 2021, and the episode aired in 2008. different times and different mediums.
idk. all this talk of community and wanting to take care of the whole, only for her to just drop all of that completely to escape with sokka, zuko, and hakoda... what about everyone else?? leave them all behind because what? biyu betrayed her?? :\
#thankfully with my own fic i can take the time for her to at least have some moments with everyone else#and even have them insist she gets out#something like ''you're escaping with the prince-- if you get out of here and help him and the avatar take down the fire lord#you'd be saving ALL of us eventually.''#OR#i let that hurt fester and really just let it put her at her lowest low to the point of mentally being unable to care about anyone else#or a mix of both#i'll burn that bridge when i get to it#writing tag
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This shit is so ass I just want it to be over
#the moment i saw it has FFX But From Wish.com my intelligence 100% just feels insulted#it was already boring this entire time but disrespecting X's point by turning it into a cheap commodity device is kicking my nuts#just spitting on Sakaguchi by trying to copy his homework in the hopes idiots will clap like seals bc they recognize the reference alone#but when hasn't msq's point been pushing out nostalgia and by the book trope slop for the sake of illiterate's money#gameplay and collectables is all this shit has ever had aside from the occasional side story or side character#i like the collectables. the gameplay is interesting enough. i have a story of my own at home.#they even ripped off IX for more HEY YOU REMEMBER FF9 RIGHT? BUY OUR GAME BC WE SAID ALEXANDRIA & MIMICKED SOME BUILDINGS#YOU'LL BUY IT AND LIKE IT JUST BC IT SAYS SOLUTION NINE LIKE ZIDANE EVEN WHEN IT HAS NOTHING IN LINE WITH FF9- YOU DUMB TOOL#the solution 9 plot is just the twist from ff9 but if it had nothing to do with anything aside from being one giant reference#it's never made to fit xiv itself and it only appears at literally the last quarter of the story with virtually zero mention of it before#and then to drag it out even more they added a sprinkle of ffx fayth but make them disconnected from the themes and have no personal connec#with the protagonist (s)#everything before this is pure seasonal anime lowest grade shounen tropes with no seasoning bc it's played so predictably flat and straight#zero novelty beyond fringe ideas that just get mentioned w/o much writing behind them which this game loves doing#they love mentioning shit just to postpone it to the last second when it's suddenly important despite having no depth attached before#saves money on actually having to write a complete story#they even got Wish.com Steiner in here lmao#if anything the time for them to rip off IX was in EW because those stories actually have themes in common to make some sense#also the way characters are expendable to the story in the sense the game forgets they exist after they play their role#is at the worst it's ever been- they drop even long time main characters like flies once their exposition is done#it's so abrupt too just when you think a character might contribute more they're already gone#this expac is everything bad about the game which makes it worse than bad- it's unbearably boring and tedious#even characters that were HYPED IN THE TRAILER literally only show up for a few lines of dialogue then leave
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Anyway.... Back to what I was pondering earlier today... It's been 4 months but I'm still as deeply obsessed with Exotic Creatures of the Deep as at the very start
#00s sparks albums save me#save me 00s sparks albums#the question of how it's been 4 months already aside#i have decided to name this album my official Mental Breakdown Album TM#so it's a good thing that it doesn't really bring me any unhappy associations. even though it could#because when i started listening to it in early march#it turned out to become one of my lowest periods in the mental well-being sense. like. ever.#it's gotten better though and later i discovered that whenever i got into that slump again#and nothing at all felt like an alluring thing to do and even most music couldn't cheer me up#i still felt like listening to ecotd at least#sometimes you get into specific albums or artists at the exact right moment and this was one of such times for sure#i have so many thoughts about this album but if i tried to write them down#it would probably all just be an illegible mess. one day i'll do it though. or at least try to#as for now i can at least say that the possibly most suffering-inducing (positive) songs for me are strange animal and likeable#i'll never forget the moment i first heard strange animal as part of the from the basement set#what a SONG!!! and that entire performance changed my brain chemistry forever#and. GODDDDDKJHKEFLJMKBELKPJ... LIKEABLE!!!#the connection i feel on some metaphysical level to that song the melody the instrumentation the lyrics#is way beyond what words can explain. or i'm just bad at putting these kind of things into words#it's soooo oooughhggahgh.....#also i don't know exactly how it happened#but i can't believe etc immediately became my most listened to song according to my last fm (which i made around then)#and it has stayed in that spot ever since#ok that's my sparks madness talk for today. i'll probably never be normal about them. not that i even want to#sparks am i right. goddddd#goosepost
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SILLY LITTLE BAT
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pairings ⸺ Yandere! Platonic! Batfamily x Anti-Hero! Fem!reader.
sinopsis ⸺ In the shadowed halls of Wayne Manor, a girl lost among the darkness seeks the connection she never had. Her mother, a kleptomaniac with a broken heart, vanished, leaving only echoes of empty promises. Surrounded by a family that never sees her, her pain turns into a deafening silence. The void left by her past traps her in a limbo of solitude and sorrow.
One dark night, seeking her own way, she became what she once despised. Now, like the albino bat rejected by its own flock, she flies alone in the twilight. Her pale skin glows in the dark, but her heart still yearns for the warmth of a home she never came to know.
warnings ⸺ Dark Themes, Dead, murdering,Disturbing Content, Unhealthy Obsession, Discrimination, Violence, Blood, LGBT Content, Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Implicit Sexual Content, Mental Illness, Addiction, Suicide, Torture, Corruption, Isolation, Trauma, Phobias, Paranoia, Manipulation
Chapter Guide! Pt 2. Pt 3. Pt4
A/N — English is not my first language—Spanish is—so there might be some grammar or spelling mistakes here and there. This is the first part of a story I’m writing for a friend (Isabel, I love you, you brat), and also an experiment to see what it’s like to write on Tumblr. Please support me! :"((
Nobody is coming to save you
Get up.
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Your mother was not a good woman, and that was an undeniable fact, heavy as the shadow that covers Gotham City at nightfall. She was a creature of the underworld, one among the specters that wandered under the yoke of crime, walking among dangerous names like Selina Kyle or Harleen Quinzel, yet always remaining in the background, never reaching their fame or infamy.
She was nothing more than a kleptomaniac and a mythomaniac, doomed to live by cunning and deceit. She took advantage of the men who crossed her path, from the lowest criminals, like The Penguin, to the most powerful man in the city: Bruce Wayne.
You never called him Dad. To you, he was always Bruce, and on the rare occasions you addressed him, you did so with distant formality, "Mr. Wayne." Richard, your adoptive brother, found in him a father figure, while to you, he was just another shadow in the mansion, that huge, cold house you arrived at after your mother’s death.
You remember how, time and again, you tried to warn your mother to stop stealing, to stop lying, that those dark paths would inevitably lead her to Arkham Asylum, surrounded by all the lunatics you feared so much, or even worse: to death. But she always responded with a playful smile, stroking your head with her delicate hands, adorned with stolen jewelry and crude tattoos. "Those are just fantasies of an eight-year-old girl," she would say sweetly, while her ring-laden fingers assured you that you needn’t worry, "I will always come back for you," she promised, "because you are the only thing more valuable than any diamond I’ve ever held."
But the cruel truth was that was the last time you saw her. That night she left, and she never returned. It was then that the last vestiges of innocence faded with her absence. From that moment on, you ceased to be a child.
And that was one of the few things you understood with absolute clarity. There were no more empty promises, no more caresses tinged with lies. All that remained was the silence of a life fading away, like a stolen jewel that never returns to its rightful owner.
The only thing you knew after calling the police when your mother didn’t show up after two days was that they found her corpse in a back alley far from Gotham, showing signs of having been beaten and bruised by some underground gang.
Commissioner Gordon searched the entire house for illicit substances and signs of debts to mobsters, but he only ended up finding documents, stolen jewelry, and letters from your mother that were never sent, and most importantly, DNA evidence implicating that the city’s millionaire was your biological father.
From then on, your life was stained with eternal gray, that muted shade that erased all traces of light or shadow. There was no more white or black, only a silent fog that, day by day, enveloped you and dragged you into a madness that seemed inevitable. Gotham itself seemed more alive than the place you called home, although "home" was never the right word.
You didn’t love any of the Wayne family members. Bruce, your biological father, never listened to you. To him, you were always just another shadow, a ghost in the vast mansion that he prioritized over his other children, his "true" heirs. There was always something more important, something more urgent, and your presence faded among the cold walls and the echo of his hurried footsteps. With each passing day, you became more invisible to him, as if your very existence were a mistake he preferred to ignore.
Richard, the perfect brother, was kind on some occasions. He spoke to you courteously, but when you needed him, when you asked him to attend one of your performances, there was always an excuse, something that kept him away, as if your passion and accomplishments were insignificant details in his heroic life.
Jason, on the other hand, despised you from the start. He saw you as an intruder, a child of gold—but not of that pure and valuable gold, but of a dirty and false one, which he always mocked with disdain. And although you never cared for him, when he died, silent tears rolled down your face. It wasn’t out of love, but out of respect for what he represented, for the brutal reality of his fall.
Tim, in contrast, was the most indifferent. To him, you were a nobody, so irrelevant that you weren’t even worth a glance. Spending time with his friends or being the Robin of the moment mattered more than you did. You lived on his periphery, in a limbo where neither your name nor your face seemed to exist.
Cassandra, Stephanie, Barbara… at least they treated you with politeness, but you knew they didn’t really remember who you were. They saw you, smiled at you out of obligation, but deep down you knew they had no idea of your name, your story, your struggle to be more than a shadow in that world.
The worst of all was Damian, your younger half-brother. When he arrived at the mansion, Alfred introduced him to you with that serene formality he always had, and you, driven by an almost desperate impulse, tried to reach out to him. You wanted to offer him the support and affection of an older sister, that warmth you would have longed for in his situation. But all you received in return was a cold response: a katana piercing your abdomen. I wish I could say it was just a metaphor, but no, that wound was as real as the blade that cut your skin.
You would have liked to think that the pain was symbolic, that Damian had only rejected your affection with harsh words or his usual arrogance. But no, it was much more than that. The only thing you received in exchange for your attempt at fraternal love was a stab, a scar you still carry not only on your body but also in your soul. Because in that brutal gesture, you understood that the blood that united you also separated you, sharper than any weapon. And that was how you tried to connect.
You strived to stand out, to learn, to shine in your own ambitions, wishing that your success would be enough to earn you a place, a bit of affection. But no matter how hard you tried, it was never enough. Your talent crashed against indifference, your achievements faded into the air, as if they had no weight in the lives of others.
The only light, the only beacon in that storm of gray, was Alfred. The only one who smiled at you with genuine tenderness, the only one you truly loved. To you, he was the real father, the one who was always there, expecting nothing in return, offering you a silent but firm love. You did call him father, and his presence was the only thing that kept your sanity, the only thing preventing the gray from consuming you completely.
But even that love, so genuine and deep, was not enough to fill the void that your own family left you. And in that void, you continue to float, trapped between the girl you were and the woman you are trying to be, searching for a place you can truly call home.
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Y/n's small room, though modest, had always been her refuge. The walls were adorned with unfinished sketches, trophies from various activities, and some paintings she had completed with dedication, showcasing her passion for both manual and performing arts.
The dawn light filtered softly through the curtains, bathing the space in golden tones, giving it a warmth that contrasted with the coldness of the rest of Wayne Manor.
On the desk, a small cake rested on a plate, simple yet made with love. Beside it, Alfred, with his usual understated elegance, watched Y/n with a mixture of nostalgia and concern. He, the only one who seemed to remember her birthday, offered her a delicate professional drawing set, wrapped in smooth, elegant paper.
"Happy birthday, Miss," Alfred said with a gentle smile, although his eyes reflected a sadness that was hard to conceal. "I know how much you love art, so I thought this would be helpful for your new projects."
Y/n took the gift in her hands with a genuine smile. It had been so hard for her to find moments of joy lately, but Alfred's gesture filled her with a warmth in her chest that she hadn't experienced in a long time. She placed the gift into one of the many brown boxes she had prepared for her upcoming move.
"Thank you, Alfred. It's perfect," she said, examining the set carefully, as if each detail were a reminder of the affection he held for her. "It will help me a lot... although, well," she sighed, as if searching for the right words. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that." Alfred raised an eyebrow, attentive, as she continued, glancing at the small space that had been her home within the vast mansion.
"Today... today is not just my birthday. It's the day I leave here." Her voice was firm, yet there was a sense of liberation in it, as if this were a long-awaited step. "I am finally no longer a Wayne. I go back to being a L/n."
Silence filled the room for a moment, heavy and dense. Alfred clasped his hands, striving to maintain his composure.
"Miss, I can't help but feel a certain unease hearing this. Are you sure this is what you want? This house, though empty in many ways, has always been your home..."
"Home?" Y/n looked at him with a mix of sadness and determination. "This house has never been my home, Alfred. Not like it was for Dick, nor even for Bruce. I have always been a stranger here, the daughter of a woman who never fit into this world, the bastard child. My mother taught me to find my own path, to not cling to what doesn’t belong to me... and being here, being called Wayne, has never belonged to me." Alfred sighed softly, turning his gaze toward the window. He knew there was truth in her words, but that didn’t lessen the pain of her leaving. "I know it’s hard to understand," Y/n continued, "but for the first time in a long time, I feel happy, Alfred. I’ve graduated, college is just around the corner, and I want to start anew. I want to find what truly makes me, me... not what others expect of me."
The old butler remained silent for a few moments, nodding slowly. He knew he couldn't retain her, that it was not his place to interfere in the young woman's dreams. But still, he couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart at the thought of the house being even emptier without her. "I just wish you find what you’re looking for, Miss. And if you ever need a place to return to... this door will always be open for you."
Y/n stepped closer to him, gently hugging him, something she had rarely done. "Thank you, Alfred," she whispered against his shoulder. "You will always be my family, but I need this. I need to discover who I am outside of this last name."
The old butler felt the lump in his throat as he tightened the embrace a little longer before letting her go. He knew that deep down, she was doing the right thing. But that didn’t make it hurt any less to see her leave.
"Alfred, can you call the movers? I’ll be leaving tonight," Y/n said as she closed the last box with trembling hands, her gaze lost in the empty corners of the room she once considered her refuge. The butler, ever serene, nodded with his unwavering calmness.
"Don't worry, Miss, I assure you they will be here on time." His voice was soft, almost an echo of the ancient walls of the mansion, as if he himself were part of that structure that had seen so many comings and goings, so many lives broken and healed in silence.
Alfred turned halfway to leave, but Y/n's voice stopped him, broken yet sweet, like a melody at sunset. "Alfred..."
The man turned slowly, his eyes filled with paternal warmth, though always contained behind a formal gesture. "Yes, Miss?" he replied, with that tranquility that had always brought Y/n peace in her worst moments.
She took a breath, feeling how the words she had kept for so long fought to come out, to break the shell she had built since childhood. "I’ve never told you, but... thank you. Thank you for being the father I never had, for being there when no one else was."
For a moment, the silence in the room was heavier than all the accumulated boxes, deeper than any word. Alfred, who had been a witness to so many confessions and secrets in that house, stood still, his eyes shining with an emotion he rarely showed. "Miss," he murmured, his voice slightly choked, "it was an honor and a privilege to take care of you. If I ever gave you anything close to what you deserved, then my life has had true purpose."
Y/n smiled sadly, nodding slowly. "You did, Alfred. You did. And for that, I will always carry you with me, even if I leave here."
The butler slightly bowed his head in respect, swallowing any emotion that might betray his composure. "Wherever you go, you will always have a home here, Miss."
"I know," she said, though in her heart, she knew she wouldn’t return.
And as Alfred left the room to make the call, Y/n let out a long sigh, as if with it, she were leaving behind a part of herself, a part she could no longer carry with her.
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Life in Gotham is like constantly walking on the edge of a razor blade. The city never sleeps, always alert, always dangerous, and for someone with the Wayne surname, the risks multiply. It has been a year since you left the mansion, trying to erase any ties that bound you to that life, desperately wishing the name would fade into the echo of the dirty streets and crumbling buildings. But it's not that easy. The name Wayne remains an indelible mark that the media and the people of Gotham refuse to let fade. The forgotten child, the silent accident of billionaire Bruce Wayne. And although you try to live as if you don’t exist under that shadow, the weight of the legacy haunts you.
You left with little, barely enough money to rent a small apartment in one of the worst corners of the city. You share the space with a friend, a plant-loving girl who has filled every nook of the place with leaves and pots, as if trying to make green defy the constant darkness of Gotham. You get along well with her; her love for nature is almost an antithesis to the chaos of the city, and she has taught you that even in the hardest concrete, something can bloom. She always accompanied you on the coldest, loneliest nights, giving you a warmth that, although ethereal, was very welcome. But still, life is not easy. You barely survive, spending the little you have on cheap food and paying the rent. There are days when the cold seeps through the poorly sealed windows, and you wonder if it was really better to be in the mansion instead of this little trench. However, you prefer this rough freedom to the soulless luxury of Wayne Manor.
Freedom, however, comes at a price. It wasn't enough to distance yourself, to change your life, or even to always carry a knife for defense. Gotham does not forget. People recognize you in the shadows, whisper your name, and approach you, sometimes with curiosity and other times with disdain. You have been beaten more than once. Some just for being a Wayne, others because they think they can extort you, even though they have no idea you can barely get by. The scars on your body bear witness to those beatings, but you refuse to give up. You get up every morning, despite the pain, and continue on your way. You don’t need Batman. You don’t need Bruce. You learned long ago that he wouldn't come to save you.
That night, like so many others, you were heading to the subway for your night shift, with the hood of your coat covering your face, trying to go unnoticed. The sound of the tracks echoed in your ears, a constant reminder of the city's hustle. You had gotten used to walking fast, avoiding eye contact, as if each step was a small battle won against the city. But this time, something was different.
"So it was true, the little Wayne girl is roaming the city... how lovely." The raspy, mocking voice rang out beside you, cutting through the heavy air of the train station. The man speaking wore a suit that, at first glance, seemed elegant, but there was something about his extreme thinness, his skin clinging to his bones and his disheveled hair, that made him look more like a specter of Gotham than a distinguished figure. A ghost from the shadows that had stalked you since you set foot on the streets.
If it weren't for his gaunt appearance and unsettling aura, you might have mistaken him for one of your father's employees. "I'm not a Wayne anymore," you said disdainfully, your voice sharp like the edge of a dagger refusing to be touched. "If you want money, I don’t have any. And Mr. Wayne wouldn’t give a cent for me either."
Your gaze drifted to the station clock. 8 minutes until the train that would take you away from this corner of Gotham, far from the shadows and faces that always seemed to recognize you.
The man let out a dry, raspy laugh that sent chills down your spine. "I don’t want your money, pretty girl," he replied, moving closer, invading your space with the same familiarity that Gotham’s filth slipped into every corner. "You’re worth more than that." You felt his calloused, scarred hand rest on your hip, with a pressure that was neither violent nor friendly. The contact filled you with disgust.
7 minutes.
You clenched your fist, your jaw tight as you struggled to maintain your composure. "I don’t want sex either, idiot," you spat, your words loaded with contained fury. Your hand subtly slid toward your bag, where your knife lay, waiting to be used.
6 minutes.
The man didn’t flinch. In fact, he let out a low, mocking laugh. "And I don’t want that either, little girl," he murmured, his cold, deep blue eyes scrutinizing you as if they could read every dark corner of your soul. "I want something more from you."
5 minutes.
"What do you want then?" you asked, forcing yourself to keep your voice steady, even as the ice of fear began to creep down your spine. Your eyes scrutinized him, searching his gaze for any hint of his true intentions, but all you saw was darkness.
4 minutes.
He let out a long, chilling laugh, tightening his grip on your hip. "Do you know what I want, Y/n?"
3 minutes.
His voice dropped, as if his words were a cursed secret the wind refused to carry away. "I want you."
2 minutes.
The world seemed to stop. You knew there was no time to run. There was no time to pull out the knife or to scream. It was as if the clock itself had conspired against you, reducing those last minutes to mere seconds.
1 minute.
The blow was sharp, a flash of excruciating pain at the back of your head. The cold metal of the station, the hum of the city, everything faded abruptly. The last thought that crossed your mind, before the world vanished into darkness, was that this time, you didn’t expect Batman to save you. It wasn’t a mere thief or a street threat that was taking you.
Gotham, with all its cruelty, always had new ways to remind you that there is no escape.
That night, when the Gotham subway stopped at the station, there was no one to pick up.
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The mansion felt emptier than ever, like a deserted and cold labyrinth, where each hallway seemed to stretch into an infinite tunnel, devouring the light.
The silence was overwhelming, an oppression that enveloped every corner, as if even the ancient walls had run out of words. It was so heavy that the few who remained in the mansion couldn’t help but move uncomfortably, trying to fill that void with something, anything.
Bruce Wayne walked through those same hallways with a strange feeling, as if something was missing, though he didn’t know what. An unease, a persistent discomfort that he couldn’t shake off.
He had been like this for months, with that absence haunting his mind, a gap he couldn't identify. And then, suddenly, like a gust of icy wind, the truth struck him.
You.
His daughter.
His little daughter.
How long had it been since he last saw you? When was the last time he heard your laughter, the one that always seemed too sarcastic, too filled with resentment? He stopped abruptly, frowning. Why couldn’t he remember you? He couldn’t bring to mind a clear image of your face, not even how you used to look at him... why? How could he have forgotten you like that?
Damn.
It was as if time had stopped. It had been a year, maybe more, since he had really thought about you. He felt a pang of guilt pierce his chest, a heavy, silent guilt that dragged him into the abyss of his own negligence. Not knowing what else to do, he began to check the rooms, one after another.
Each door he opened was another blow to his conscience. Where was your room? The more he searched, the more confused he felt. The mansion was enormous, but how could he have forgotten where you slept? How was it possible that he didn’t know where you lived in the house where both of you grew up? Had you been here all this time?
Each door he opened was identical to the last, as if all the rooms had fused into one.
None showed a trace of you.
None seemed to have a hint of your presence. Didn’t you decorate your room? He thought frantically, didn’t you even mark it as yours? Panic began to take hold of him. Anxiety wrapped around him like a fist tightening on his chest. Were you still living in the mansion? Or had you left without saying a word, like a shadow fading at dawn? But... no, you hadn’t mentioned anything. You hadn’t said you were leaving. Or had you? And if you had, why didn’t he remember? How could he have ignored you for so long that now he didn’t even know if you were still under the same roof?
“Ah!” he exclaimed in a whisper, unable to contain the dread he felt.
Frustration consumed him from within. He stopped in the middle of the hallway, breathing heavily, and the echo of his voice faded into the empty walls. He tried to remember something, anything about you, about the last time they spoke, about how you were... but everything was blurry, as if his mind was betraying him, hiding you behind an impenetrable fog.
How could he have forgotten so much?
He brought his hands to his head, trying to calm himself, but only felt more confusion, more desperation. The mansion, which had once been his home, now felt like a strange and foreign place.
Had you been the one who made it feel like home? The question echoed in his mind, but he had no answer. Just more questions. More uncertainties. Finally, he let his arms fall, exhausted. He had checked almost all the rooms and had found not a trace of you. Not a clue. Not a sign that you had been there. And at that moment, something dark and painful began to settle in his heart.
Had you ever really been there?
Then something caught his attention as he passed by the cleaning room. In a dusty corner, next to a forgotten bag, something was protruding. Something small, old, and faded. He bent down and pulled it from the dirty clothes. It was a stuffed animal, or what was left of one. The faded black of its suit left no doubt. It was a figure of Batman, but worn down by time, battered to the point of looking forgotten.
Bruce's eyes were fixed on the small piece of fabric hanging from the doll's neck. A tag.
Your name.
Your name, handwritten, in ink that was already fading.
Bruce felt a lump in his throat, a mix of guilt and rage. How could he have forgotten something so important?
He clutched the doll tightly, as if doing so would return a piece of you to him, but instead of comfort, he only felt more emptiness. Where were you? He ran to Alfred, who looked at him with a mix of concern and pity.
"Alfred..." Bruce said, his voice breaking. "Where is she? Where is my daughter?"
The butler, with his always serene face, seemed to age suddenly. A long silence settled between them, as if time was fading away. "Mr. Bruce, I didn’t mean to..." Alfred lowered his gaze. "I didn’t want to burden you with that truth, but... it’s time you know."
Bruce felt a chill run down his spine. Truth? What truth?
"She left almost a year ago. She didn’t say where. She just... she took all her belongings, though they weren’t many, and left. She said she didn’t want to be a burden. That you and the other family members had too many things to worry about."
Bruce took a step back, as if the words had physically struck him. Did she have enough age to leave? A burden? Never, not for a second, did he think that of you, of his little daughter who, even though she wasn’t wanted, he embraced under his wing just like Damian.
You were never a burden.
...or were you?
No, he refused to acknowledge it; he just... he hadn’t spent time with you because Gotham needed him!
But when you needed him, where was Batman?
Where was Bruce Wayne when his only biological daughter needed him?
"Alfred, do you know anything about Y/n?" the hero asked, worry clear on his face.
Alfred didn’t look at him; he only stared into nothingness. "...I haven’t heard anything about her for two months...
And honestly... I'm starting to think...
that she might be lost to us forever..."
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A/N — This is definitely apart from being my first official Tumblr post, it is also my first DC post and especially the first from the Lord of the Night xD
Don't hesitate to ask me anything if you want.
Isabel, I dedicate this to you, my love. Eat more to be well, you fucking anorexic, don't suck.
take a bath!
inspiration: @acid-ixx with his Again & Again series, @gotham-daydreams' work, @i-cant-sing's work and @klemen-tine's work, be sure to check them out!
#yan blog#yandere#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#yandere batman#yandere batboys#yandere bruce wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere nightwing#yandere jason todd#yandere red hood#yandere tim drake#yandere red robin#yandere damian wayne#yandere robin#yandere platonic#fem reader#x reader#neglected reader#yandere dc#dc universe#dc x reader
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Sigh.. We all should've have chosen both wally and conner...i can't imagine the faces of batfam
how to be a heartbreaker! (again &. again concept)
ft. yandere! wally west, starfire, roy harper, artemis, conner kent, bart allen x gn! neglected! reader w/ platonic yandere! batfam.
— masterlist !
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
tw: age gaps but there isn't nsfw (except for conner) and the reader is described to be older than 20 in this concept and was far ignored longer than in the og story.
a/n: happy (late) halloween! 🎃 i'm praying to the gods, please don't let this post flop, i'm in my flop era fr! because i am not writing allat for it to get ignored 💔 (just kidding i love u guys, especially to all those who comment! i read all your comments even if i'm unable to reply at times). if you guys are wondering why i didn't include all the characters, it's because this is just a drabble and if anyone likes more concepts about this, please send in asks! anyways, enjoy this sweet harem au hehe.
anon, you are so right. but let me raise you this: getting together with all your siblings' teammates. i'm not just saying wally and conner, no! i'm saying the young justice, the teen titans, all their friends and old pals— the moment you come of age, hide under the radar for a few years and eventually meet them at random. you'd be giving dick, hell, even bruce, your father, mind you, a run for his money when it comes to a player reputation amongst the siblings, and the best part (or worst part for you once it's too late...) of it all is the fact that you don't even have to keep all your little relationships with them a secret when they never once bat an eye on you until recently.
the funny thing is: you didn't even have to try to attract them. it was all them approaching you at random days and getting to know you better, with you, at your lowest point, accepting any medium of attention. at first it was them feeling pity, perceptive to how your siblings chose to focus on them rather than you, but now it's them chasing after you because you're so interesting in every aspect; even if you find yourself average at best compared to your talented siblings.
maybe it's because you bring the normal out in them, or because you display such raw emotions and are an entirely separate being from vigilantism. either way, they find themselves thinking about you more often than their missions and that's harrowing.
and because you're such a pathetic, wet cat, so desperate for love; all the people you hit on develop a savior complex because of you. i don't just mean them finding you cute, or interesting, absolutely not. i mean you're constantly being thrown around like a prince or princess who needs a knight in shining armor to catch them when they fall, except you're constantly being carried in some other's arms even when you can stand on your own two feet.
you just have that special quality in you that makes everyone fall head over heels. it makes them fantasize scenarios of a home life with you; they could provide better than your current ones do, for sure. you'd be spoiled to death with kisses to your face, hands wrapped around your body, and a guarantee that you'll never feel alone or unsafe in a world full of danger that lurks around the corner.
that same quality may have also been your downfall.
wally west doesn't mind training all day to become stronger and faster to save you from every danger that lingers near your presence. hell, he doesn't complain anymore whenever dick assigns him some missions if that means he can pass by your room by the manor as an after-mission reward, loving it when you smile at him with the gentlest quip of your mouth as he hastily wraps you in his arms with the same amount of speed it took to run to your house. wally cherishes watching you in slow-time because he could worship every little part of his darling's expression, quelling the boredom he had for the entire day. he wants to be fast enough for his babe, not only just to impress them but because he wants them to see him as the only reliable individual capable enough of protecting and flirting with you. not everyone can measure up to his speed, no? nobody could keep up with this man's speed and he's known for taking you away whenever you're with someone else just to get a sliver of your time.
starfire's emotions become ablaze and so does her powers every time she notices one of your other sweethearts becoming too touchy with you, unable to comprehend why you're not even in a relationship with her yet. but you're too sweet and you bury yourself in her curly tresses to calm her down. at first that's enough! she doesn't understand the concept of physical affection and the boundaries that come with it as much as others but boy does she crave it when it comes to you. it doesn't help the fact that you're incapable of sometimes denying her affections and letting yourself be constantly kissed by the girl in every part of your face. she's very warm, though, and her curiosity about things foreign to her, paired with you teaching her more about your world, makes starfire adore her sweetheart's willingness and patience; it simply warrants another passionate kiss in the mouth from the pink-haired alien.
roy harper brings out a more rebellious side of you that you never imagine yourself sporting. his experiences in life and his rebellious relationship towards oliver queen, his adoptive father shapes him to who he is now; and he'd be damned if you drown yourself in endless misery like he did. yeah, it doesn't help that lian loves you as much as he does and he thinks you're the perfect match for him, watching you play with his little girl and care for him whenever he's injured does wonders for the fantasies that plays itself in his head, all scenarios of coming home to you after a hard day of work, just to see you and lian greet him the moment he enters your shared house with him, kissing him in the lips, telling him about the wonderfully prepared dinner you and lian whipped up for him, and watching your eyes widen at another bouquet of your favorite flowers he bought home for you. you're not in a relationship with him at all but can't a man just dream?
why dick wonders every damn time one of his friends ditch another one of their hangouts is a question never to be answered. but it's been noticeable these days that he's starting to suspect something wrong at play, especially since he's noticed tension within his comrades, and as a leader he couldn't just simply ignore the tense glares, insults to their being, and the hushed whispers; all pet names, a mantra they're used to calling you.
but dick doesn't take it seriously until it's too late.
that his baby bird long fell off the nest years ago, taken into the arms of whom he thought to be his most trusted comrades, thoroughly loved more than he could've given you. and it's not just one person smitten with you; it's an entire harem of people unwilling to share you just as much as dick who'd soon realize that he shares far more similarities with you; a heartbreaker, yet a caretaker at heart.
it's no wonder why everybody wants you for themselves. it's not only your family who loves to hear your precious laughs and gentle hands; that sets the jealousy ablaze in his heart.
jason never thought that artemis carried a softer version of her. but he's been picking up telltale signs of her donning dangling keychains, all cute doodles of her no doubt, and necklaces he's sure he's seen around the manor at times. it's not her typical style, and she never really found the appeal with cute things like crochet plushies of her; yet the designs are oddly reminiscent to someone he always called his angel. but whenever he tries to bring the topic up, he only receives a snarky reply, a protective hold on her things, and a familiar phrase telling him to mind his business. he isn't aware of how she met you one time after you've nearly been crushed to death by a car accelerating at you, if not for her taking the blunt end of the hit. ever since that day you've been seeing her regularly by alleyways watching over you as your guardian and giving her tokens of appreciation, albeit small, that she keeps as her prized properties; ones nobody has special access to touch. she's not much of a heckler for physical touch, but she occasionally gives you a head scratches and the rare peck to your lips.
jason doesn't like how jealous he is towards her, because of how the would-be stranger treats her and why he can't seem to pinpoint the primal urge to rip those little trinkets from her. sometimes he feels like a man possessed, eyeing the keychains and the random pastel bracelets longer, all warranting the same angered glare artemis reciprocates.
he swore he's seen them before, splayed across the random rooms in the manor, some even being in the library; things he loved to fiddle with whenever he was bored out of his mind. so seeing them being proudly displayed by artemis triggers visceral reactions within him.
but could jason do anything about it when he's part of the reason why your roster consists of your family's comrades? no.
if you couldn't get attention from your family, you'll just have to get it through their affiliations. yeah, some are older than you, but god are you treated like divinity with just how willing they are to kneel upon your feet just to gain a crumb of your attention. even the strongest lay weak whenever you look at them with disappointment or sadness with your wide, captivating eyes.
all the times tim drake would be with teammates, he'd notice how their eyes look at him expectantly, as if waiting for another one to accompany them. at first he ignores it, but the longer their strange behavior persists, he begins opening a case about his close friends.
he soon realizes that conner has a record of mentioning "his cute little darling," and how he'd brag to his other friends about how left his jacket and all his favorite t-shirts in your room and how you're always drowning in his scent— always quiping about just how much it smells like you and how he enjoys wearing all his clothes right after you wear them just to get a whiff of your presence in his life; you being his motivation to fight against crime just so he could see your pretty face and tell him you're proud of him. undeniably, he's the one who spends the longest time with you and he's prideful about it, being the only man with the privilege to touch every part of your skin, wishing to melt against you just so he'd be branded in your body like how your name is the only sweet thing he can taste in his mouth.
it's not only conner, but bart allen would bounce around more often demanding that it's unfair how conner gets everything and how he gets little time with you, with just how often you get thrown around by all your love interests! he'd admit just how cute he finds you whenever you coo about him and play with his messy locks of hair whenever it's his time of the week to visit you right after missions. spending time with him is arguably the most casual part of your life, because he loves to help you with your daily errands despite him complaining about the same tasks to his other teammates... he says it's because you stimulate every part of his brain to find satisfaction in every small action that you do, but it's not only that, rather, he wishes to gain all your praises that you sing for him, never finding boredom in your presence at all.
tim's the first one who pieces the jigsaw puzzle together, but he's thoroughly astounded either way at just how smitten they are with you. it makes him open an entirely different case that's just about you; where he discovers how you're connected with nearly everyone close to him and his siblings.
it makes him wonder what makes you all the more interesting. it's how exactly he spirals into a periodic cluster of events investigating your entire life and drowning himself in work, terabytes of files each analyzed carefully— all about you, your past, and present situation. tim drake never saw a person this admired that much, so much so that online stalking lead to physical stalking.
all your dm's are spammed by countless people, and you don't even take the initiative to reply because you'd be too busy being tossed around by the time the vigilante tracks your location. it's honestly amusing at first but the longer tim become a third perspective to your life, the more he craves your physical presence, just to get a taste of dissecting all the thoughts in your brain. but with just how often their friends fight over you, it'd be hard to rip you away from the clawing hands of all your admirers.
that's why he sets a plan into motion. if he couldn't have you to himself, then he could at least share you with the closest people he had in his life— not with all the strangers who think they know his younger sibling better than he does.
a simple document, many actually, so documents, were all he needed, with printed stacks of a4 paper compiling each and every known fact about you.
all in the name of love, he'd give it out to every member of the family in quick succession.
a hefty reminder to take back what once was theirs.
#🌷... yael's works#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere dc comics#yandere batfam#yandere wally west#yandere wally west x reader#yandere starfire#yandere roy harper#yandere artemis#yandere conner kent#yandere bart allen#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere#yandere x reader#male yandere#female yandere#yandere x gn reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x female reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#platonic yandere#romatic yandere
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🇵🇸🍉❤ Hello my supportive friends!🇵🇸🍉❤
I am Nour, 35 years old, a Palestinian from Gaza. I am trying to save my family of 7 members and five children from the hell of war by moving to a safe place until the horrific war ends.
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Our suffering and hardship began on the fourteenth of October 2023, when my family was forcibly displaced from the north to the south under conditions that threatened their lives. As a result, our homes were completely destroyed and our businesses were demolished, and we were left with no source of livelihood, no shelter to shelter us and no source of livelihood to live on.
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We have been living in miserable tents since the first days of the war. Life has become very difficult and harsh. There is no longer any way to live. Getting even the lowest standard of living has become difficult and impossible. All our hope is to secure basic daily necessities, but this often seems impossible, which is why The reason is that we suffer from the hardship of life. You cannot imagine how difficult it is to obtain food, drinking water, medicine and other facilities. Life has become miserable and sad, in addition to the hot weather inside the hot tents, which increases our incredible pain and suffering. We cannot Words cannot describe the miserable conditions we are living in at the present time due to the unjust war.
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Part of our daily struggle is getting the least we need. Imagine how you feel when you wait in line for at least four hours. Things are worse than any human being could ever experience
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Every day we wake up to find things going from bad to worse. There is no sign of the war ending and this increases our unhappiness and miserable life. Despair and frustration have become new forms of our lives as we are now homeless, displaced and unemployed. Please don't waste this moment to help a family in desperate need. You add happiness and hope to people who have lost everything in their lives. You can help us by donating what you can or by sharing my link with other generous donors
That is why I ask you to contribute generously to help me secure the least we need every day and bring safety and peace to the family of twenty who are now tasting all forms of torture and grief.
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Thank you very much for supporting us in these difficult times
Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #50 )
My compigen has been verified by @90-ghost
@dirhwangdaseul @b0nkcreat @tamamita @chokulit @3000s @killyohji @apas-95 @pitbolshevik @ot3 @punkitt-is-here @vampiricvenus @turtletoria @pcktknife @paper-mario-wiki @valtsv @omegaversereloaded @i-am-a-fish @catsgifsarefun @spongebobssquarepants @vamprismdoll @postanagramgenerator @feluka @nyancrimew @90-ghost @beserkerjewel @neechees @memingursa @certifiedsexed @afro-elf @11thsense @sawasawako @spacebeyonce @skipppppy @beetledrink @schoolhard @fools-and-perverts @dailyquests @evillesbianvillain @wolfertinger666 @taffybuns @ankle-beez @sabertoothwalrus @meshugenist @isuggestforcefem @yekkiz @hotvampireadjacent @tododeku-or-bust @marxism-transgenderism @halalchampagnesocialist @spooksier@jonahmagnus @artemis-pendragon @lesbian-hannibal
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#free gaza#gaza genocide#gazaunderattack#gaza strip#gaza#please#donations#palestine news#free palestine#save palestine#palestine resources
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as much as I love the common "Tim worships/stalks Jason" trope in TimJay fanfiction because it's Good and making Tim a weird little freak is Fun, I think the underutilized dynamic is where Jason is the one weirdly obsessed with Tim and makes it Tim's problem.
Like, the moment Jason is confronted with the information that a third Robin exists, the first thing he does is cover his wall with pictures of Tim so he can just obsess and torture himself over it. That is the behavior of a man who is Unwell over Tim's existence and I love it.
red hood: lost days #4
And as much as a shitshow as The Titans Tower Incident™ is characterization-wise (though I think it has far more merit in depicting Jason's character than people give it credit for but I digress-) there's something very fun about the fact that even after kicking his ass, Jason respects Tim and is impressed by him.
teen titans (2003) #29
And on top of that, Jason can't seem to stop trying to ask Jason to Tim to work with him in some capacity.
robin (1993) #177
batman: battle for the cowl #2
While Battle for the Cowl is an exceptionally bad comic, especially for its characterization of Jason and the "be my Robin" bit is taken deeply out of context, I do think it's interesting how obsessed Jason is with believing that Tim is extremely competent, only held back by being "brainwashed by Bruce". (hence him leaving Tim for dead later on in the comic.) Jason seeing a darker side of Tim and wanting to bring that out of Tim, wanting to see what Tim could be if he let go of his loyalty to Bruce is so fun to me, tbh.
And in Robin #177, Jason seems genuinely upset Tim doesn't want to work with him. Jason sees such a raw potential in Tim and is obsessed with it, constantly wanting Tim to work for him and see Tim be the type of person Jason is. And despite Tim rejecting him, Jason doesn't shoot to kill Tim. I just cannot get over the fanfic potential of Jason obsessing over Tim, tracking him and seeing what he's capable of and what he could be capable of. Wanting to make Tim see things the way he does. To Tim it's corruption, to Jason it's freedom. Tim trying to 'save' Jason is fun and all, but Jason trying to corrupt Tim? That's even more fun to me. Watching that power struggle between them, Tim unable to get Jason off his heels as Jason gets more and more possessive and bold with each attempt.
And when Jason sees Tim successfully get Gotham back under control after a gang war, he's impressed. He praises Tim, even. And then Tim just. Breaks him out of prison.
robin (1993) #182
The way they're constantly trying to see something in the other that isn't there, hoping the other will come around? That is the most fucked up hate/love dynamic ever. Jason keeps coming back to Tim, keeps trying to find ways to get Tim onto his side. They're always chasing each other. And I think Jason would be the one to confess love first, the one to do anything to make Tim his. And when you consider after all of this, Tim has his Red Robin arc and is at his lowest, getting the closest he ever gets to considering murder? I think it'd be so fun to see Jason take advantage of that and worm his way back into Tim's life and finally push Tim over the edge.
#jaytim#timjay#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#batcest#necrotic festerings#for the record i could've continued showing examples if i delved into the new-52#but this is meant to be entirely a pre-flashpoint meta analysis of their dynamic#but in the new-52 jason explicitly says tim is the only member of the batfam he likes and they work together regularly#but new-52 also ate ass with tim's characterization so i cannot use it in good faith on this post.#my first tumblr meta on this blog and i'm feeling stressed about putting my thoughts in the open won't lie#one day i'll come back to the titans tower incident and expand on my thoughts on why it's not as bad as ppl make it out to be#dare i say. it's mostly in character for jason minus the ridiculous robin suit and some of his grandstanding#but that debate is for another day#fyi anyone can take this stuff as a prompt/inspo and run with it for fic pls go wild#someday i'll probably write my own take on it too
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There's the fight scene under the mountain, 500 years in one place is no short time and it's understandable that he returns there in his lowest moments. That terrible, dark cave where only his pain and suffering resonate - why couldn't I save you last time - that dialogue resonates in my head with this scene and now Mac had the chance to get Wukong out of there.
Ah redemption 🥰
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YES. YES.
the show wont give us Mac comforting Wukong then I'll just have to do it myself
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QUITE LIFE
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Billie Eilish x Fem!Reader
Warnings: readers sensitive, no mentions of y/n? Billie is in love
Synopsis: in an interview things dive deep into billie’s wife who she mainly talks about but never shows
The studio was calm, the air filled with the faint hum of production equipment. Billie sat in the spotlight, her blue eyes shadowed with something unspoken, though her posture remained steady. The interviewer, a seasoned journalist known for navigating both the light and heavy topics with grace, leaned forward, voice warm but curious.
“Billie, you’ve always been vocal about mental health, authenticity, and protecting your space, but I have to ask—your engagement and wedding, both of which you managed to keep incredibly private, came as a surprise to many. Why did you decide to keep something so personal away from the public eye?”
Billie tilted her head back slightly, as if searching for words on the ceiling, her lips pressing together before a quiet exhale escaped her. “Because she’s my world,” she said softly, her voice cracking just enough to betray her emotion.
The interviewer didn’t interrupt.
Billie’s hand rose to tuck a strand of dark hair behind her ear, her gaze dropping momentarily to her lap. “Look, I’ve been in this industry long enough to know how it works,” she started. “And I know what happens when people think they’re entitled to every piece of you. I signed up for this; she didn’t. And I’ve seen what the world can do to someone who isn’t prepared for that kind of… attention, especially someone as sensitive as her.”
A faint, almost wistful smile curved her lips. “She’s not built for it. Like, she can’t even handle the car radio being too loud without constantly feeling overwhelmed.” Billie let out a small laugh, though it sounded more like a sigh. “I used to tease her about it—how her world is so quiet, so calm. But now I see how much better that is. She’s taught me to appreciate that quiet.”
The room seemed heavier now, Billie’s words painting vivid images of the love she carried for her wife. The interviewer hesitated before speaking, sensing the depth of what Billie was sharing. “It sounds like you’re very protective of her.”
“I am,” Billie said without hesitation, her voice firm but tender. “She saved me. And I don’t mean in some cheesy, fairytale way—I mean she literally saved me. She loved me when I couldn’t even look in the mirror. When I was at my lowest, when I felt like I was drowning and dragging everyone down with me, she stayed. She didn’t have to, but she did.”
Her voice broke slightly, and she swallowed hard, taking a moment to gather herself. “I don’t think people realize how terrifying it is to be loved like that. It’s… humbling. And it makes you want to do everything, anything, to deserve it.”
The interviewer’s voice softened. “Do you feel like you deserve it now?”
Billie’s laugh was quiet, almost self-deprecating. “I’m trying,” she admitted. “But I know one thing for sure: I’ll do whatever it takes to protect her. The thought of her being overwhelmed, of people shoving cameras in her face or saying cruel things about her online—it would break her. And if that happened, it’d be my fault for not shielding her from it.”
The interviewer nodded, her eyes glistening. “That’s a lot of love, Billie.”
“It is,” Billie agreed, her voice barely above a whisper. “But she’s worth it. Every single bit of it.”
The conversation drifted to lighter topics after that, but Billie’s words hung in the air, raw and heavy with emotion. Fans who watched the interview would later flood social media with their admiration for her vulnerability, but in that moment, Billie wasn’t thinking about the audience or the cameras.
She was thinking about her wife—her quiet, sensitive wife who was probably curled up on the couch at home, reading a book or humming softly to herself.
And she meant it. Protecting her wife wasn’t just a choice—it was a promise, one she’d keep for the rest of her life.
#princess diary ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚#billie eilish#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x reader#hmhas billie eilish#wlw#wlw fiction#lesbian#wlw post#wlw fluff#fluff
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SAVE YOUR TEARS
type written fic (no part 2 request pls)
pairing lewis hamilton x driver!reader
summary you need a distraction and your teammate is the perfect person for that
word count 3.7k
warnings 18+. smut. nsfw. porn with oh so little plot and even little feelings. unprotected sex. rough sex. emotional sex. prone bone then missionary (idk i tried), praise kink. hints of depression, self doubts etc etc idk lmk what i missed. english is not my first language.
author's note self-indulgent if u couldn't tell from the warnings. that's it. sorry.
masterlist
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lewis didn't expect you to turn up in front of his hotel room tonight night, face wet with tears staining your cheeks, lips trembling as you held back a sob.
nor was he expecting you to ever utter these words to him.
"i need you to fuck me."
lewis' lips parted, unable to get any words out, too shocked by your sudden request. he has a million different questions appearing in his brain all at once. what the hell is happening? why are you crying? who did this to you? and why on god's green earth did you just ask him to— he couldn't even repeat it to himself. it didn't feel real, didn't even sound like you were asking. pleading, more like it, in pure desperation.
he calls your name softly, like he's trying to wake you up from a dream. his thick eyebrows tie together in confusion. "what are you—"
"please...." you cut him off, the last syllable getting more inaudible as it trails away. tears beginning to fill up your eyes again before they drop, reaching your jaw and fall to the floor.
lewis has never seen you like this, and he's pretty sure nobody else on the grid or the public did either. his teammate whom in his eyes, the one who always got her shit together. he's almost jealous at how composed you always presented yourself to be, on and off track, never letting any unwanted criticisms by fans or media from getting to you, always quick to shut them down cleverly. the last person anybody could ever take down, mentally.
then he realized, that he held you to such a high standard to the point where he had forgotten that you were still just a human. it's only a matter of time before you break and if lewis personally had his moments where he was at his lowest, he couldn't imagine being in your shoes right now.
everything immediately clicked for lewis right there and then. he had never invited a girl inside so fast, never undressed her so quickly.
"what's your safe word?" he asks, needing to know before he proceeds.
"pancake."
lewis nods. he was about to crash his lips against yours when you put your hand on his clothed chest to stop him firmly, almost clenching your hand on his shirt, head turn away slightly.
"no," you refused.
kissing means this would get personal. complicated. and you do not want complications in the future. this is not going to be a love-making session. this is going to be lewis fucking you hard until your eyes roll back and your vision turns white. until the thickness of his cock makes your hollow soul lights up again. until you feel alive from his hand around your throat.
nothing else.
and that's exactly what he's doing right now. no kissing. he immediately understood it from the minute you refused his lips, getting what this is going to be.
lewis' tattooed hand fists on your shirt hard as he avoids your lips and kisses your neck instead, finding those spots that make your knees buckle and focuses particularly on there. you remove his hair tie, and tangle your fingers with his braids. he groans, his hair a particular sensitive part on his body. his thick lips travel lower to lay kisses along your collarbone. no marks either, he doesn't need to be told that.
though for some reason he does not understand, it is suddenly quite hard to resist himself from leaving purple bites on your skin. not when he had someone like you in his arms whom he had found beautiful since the first time his eyes laid in you.
no, lewis tells himself silently. this is not about you. this is about her. she's struggling. there's a demon that she needs to defeat and she needs your help. so help her.
you find yourself walking in reverse as he advances towards you, before your back hits the soft mattress of his hotel bed.
"yes." you say, already breathless, letting him know this is exactly how you want it. no tip-toeing, no hesitation or being overly careful, because you trust him enough to know that he knows what he should and shouldn't do, or you wouldn't have knocked in his door. you might be mentally fragile, but not your body. you need him to get to work quickly, to get you out of the mess that is currently your mind right now. he doesn't need to be gentle, because all you desire is the exact opposite.
lewis does not respond. instead he takes off your shirt and bra, throwing them somewhere on his floor without caring where they land. you do the same with his. lewis climbs over you, leaving neither of you time to admire one another's half naked bodies. nothing to gawk over. this is not what you came here for and lewis was quick to understand that.
his lips were fast to attack your bare chest next. his tongue swirls over your nipple, coating it with his spit before sucking hard, creating sounds as lewd as your moans right now. he also groans silently, the vibration sending more waves of pleasure inside you. he lets you gather his braids to press his face harder on your breast while one of his hands went to grope on the other, flicking your already sensitive nipple before giving it the same attention with his tongue. your back arches, and you find yourself pressing both your thighs together, desperate for relief on your lower half.
he senses it and leaves your chest. he pulls down your pants next, then your panties. you catch the way he visibly swallows at the sight of your dripping pussy, his own cock starting to throb in need.
"tell me what you need," he asks breathlessly, his voice huskier than usual, making your walls clench around nothing.
"your fingers." you answer without hesitation. the rational part of your brain manages to slip through, making you wonder for a split second just what made you so bold tonight, demanding all sort of things you never even had the courage to ask anybody.
maybe it's demons in your head, the one you are desperate to get rid off so you are forcing yourself to do the absolute craziest, just to feel like your old self again.
lewis nods. part of him is still in disbelief over what is currently happening but he tries to leave it at the back of his head. you let him spread your legs with ease and he doesn't waste any time to slide his digit smoothly over your fold to gather your arousal, earning a sharp gasp from you. he spits on your cunt, his saliva mixes with your wetness before he pushes.
still he was careful, only using one finger for now. he's well aware of the thickness of his digits and not sure how much you can take if he immediately adds more.
"m-more." you're whimpering already and the sound goes straight to lewis' dick, forcing him to take a deep, shuddering breath in an attempt to calm his twitching cock.
but it's difficult. this is lewis hamilton, seven times formula 1 world champion. the greatest of all time. admire by billions. and yet when he has a pretty girl like you underneath him, at his mercy, your beautiful cunt clenching hard around his fingers, suddenly lewis is just a normal man. one who is not sure how much longer he can hold himself from claiming you all for himself.
lewis takes a deep breath. this is not about you, he tells himself again. you need to listen to her. give her what she needs. you can get any girl to come to your hotel room for fucking, and yet she only has you, the only man she clearly feels safe enough to ask of this.
"faster." you ask and lewis starts to deliver, pushing your legs apart even further before his hand picking up its pace, until the only sounds in the room are your ragged moans and the slickness of your cunt.
you are gorgeous. absolutely breathtaking, lewis thinks to himself. the way your face is flushed, sweat staining all over your face and neck. how your figure, hypnotizing as if it was blessed by aphrodite herself writhe underneath him, chasing that high. sinful moans and whimpers from your lips, enchanting his ears, making him curl his fingers until they find that one spot inside that makes you only whine louder, addicted into finding even more ways to earn those sounds from you. your legs part even wider as if not getting enough, silently begging for more than just his fingers.
"fuck...." lewis cannot help but groan. he sees the way your breath is getting shorter, more ragged. following his own impulses, lewis stops, withdrawing his hand from you.
you whine shamelessly at the sudden emptiness. you look up, watching lewis licking your arousal clean from his lips. the sight should be dirty, should make your pussy pulses in lust but instead your brain is protesting, head thrown back on the mattress in frustration. no, no, no, no, the brain says. you were far from reaching your peak since lewis had just started fingering you but you were at bliss at how preoccupied your mind was, having no room to think about anyting but his fingers inside you.
the insecurities starting to come back. the demon has gone back to work, playing in your ears and whispering doubts into you again.
maybe lewis is regretting this. he thinks you're sick in the head and he wants you to leave. he's going to tell the team—
"you're gonna come on my cock only."
oh—
oh.
you don't have time to be dumbfounded when lewis gets off the bed to remove his pants, eyes stay on yours. a hiss leaves his lips as he wraps his hand around himself, pumping his rock hard cock that already leaks with pre-cum while keeping his lustful gaze on you the entire time before he gets back to the bed to you.
your mouth almost waters at the visual. yes, you came to his hotel room, crying, begging him to fuck you. and yet it's unbelievable to see lewis like this. the champion, feared by the rest of the grid, respected by the whole wide world, is currently hard and throbbing in front of you. for you.
your cunt is wet again, pulsing around air thinking about just how he'd fit himself inside you but before you could do anything, he flips you flat onto your stomach. you yelp, caught off-guard by his sudden action. the mattress dips as his knees sink into it on either side of your body. he grabs his pillow before shoving it under your belly.
condom is on and when you feel his tip pressing against your entrance, you gasp silently, already gripping the sheets.
"we can stop if you want." he says, lowering his voice down to a softer tone, giving you a way out. he's willing to ignore the way his dick twitches, begging to be taken care of, if you desire to stop. but instead....
"n-no." you shake your head fast, voice shaky but with a hint of firmness behind it. "no, i don't want to stop. please."
"what do you need then? tell me exactly."
"i don't want to think. please, just— use me. i don't care. don't be gentle. i want it hard. i need it rough."
part of lewis regrets that he asked because holy fucking shit. sweet baby jesus. he doesn't recognize the sound that he makes, deep from his chest, filled with lust after hearing your dirty, desperate request.
on one hand, he's more than happy to fulfill your desire, knowing this is just going to be sex and nothing more. it's easier for the both of you in the future, knowing that this is a one time thing and absolutely no feelings would be involved.
but on the other hand, though lewis presents himself to the public and media as the calm and collected person you'd see on TV, but like every other man, he has his own wants and needs as well. and you have absolutely fucking idea what the hell you had just woken up inside him.
"fuck. fuck, you can't just fucking say that. you're fucking killing me, baby girl."
you moan at the nickname, then the volume becomes louder when you feel him pushing himself inside you slowly, one palm on a side of your head while the other is gripping your hip so fucking hard no doubt it'll bruised tomorrow.
you want it to bruise. and you know what you just asked of him. it's nothing like you had ever asked of a man before. to take you like a ragdoll for him to be used, to be toyed with whenever his please. to use you like you exist only and solely for his pleasure. because the thoughts that you are having about yourself are way worse. you want it to bruise, to hurt. you want to still be able to feel him for days. to have difficulties to walk so you will always be reminded of tonight. because at least your mind will be distracted from wandering to places you have been working so hard to avoid again.
lewis slides in easily but the stretch burns. you whine, fingers gripping the bedsheet tightly as you try to breathe properly in order to relax yourself so you can accommodate to his size, which is bigger than anyone you had ever taken. what he lacks in height, he certainly makes up for it in his length.
when he's fully inside, lewis gathers your hair before yanking it hard, making your neck arches back and you cry out. the pain in your scalp is weirdly delicious, combines with how he's making you feel so full having his dick deep inside, unmoving.
"say thank you." lewis demands, his tone no longer kind amd gentle like before, goosebumps prickle all over your skin. you never heard him using that kind of tone during work, never even imagine that he'd be the type to sound like that in bed. "thank me for fucking you."
"t-thank you."
"louder." he bottoms out before slamming into you hard, pulling a loud gasp from you.
"thank you!" you choke out.
lewis starts out slow at first, looking for the right pace. he remembers how you want it but he's not going to give it right away, out of care and of course pettiness.
but as he continues, he couldn't help but craving to hear more of those sweet bits of noises that you keep making. to hear the way your breath hitches at how he's filling you up to the brim, at how good he's fucking you.
lewis lowers his body, caging your body from behind but still careful not to crush you completely with his weight as his pace increases, ramming his cock inside you, his restraint getting thinner.
"take it. you want me to fuck you so bad? fucking take it. you asked for this." he grunts, and you whimper with no shame left in you. it's difficult to care, not when you could feel yourself getting dumber on his dick, which is exactly what you were asking for. and all this couldn't be more perfect.
lewis' movements grow harder, rougher by the minute. your moans mixed with his and the sound of his hips snapping against your ass echoes to the entire room. you wish you could be quiet, knowing that this whole hotel is rented by your entire team. but the way lewis is fucking you is making you do the exact opposite. you know he wouldn't want you to be quiet either, the mechanics be damned.
it's starting to be too much. nails digging into the bedsheet, you find your body inching forward. you are not sure if you are trying to run away or get closer to him but when lewis notices this, he grabs both your wrists, pinning them above your head. his teeth nibbles against a specific spot under your earlobe, pulling another whine out of you.
"you can take it. fuck— good girls take what they asked for. you can do it."
your cunt somehow gets even wetter with his filthy words, at how his accent thickens, voice gets deeper and more hoarse. your pussy shouldn't be squeezing around his dick at his praises, but it did. and the grunts he lets out making it all worth it.
when he hits that sweet spot inside you that no other man has ever quite managed to find, your eyes roll back in ecstasy. you gasp, tears starting to fall again at the sweet pleasure you're experiencing.
the sex is perfect, you know lewis wouldn't disappoint. but your demon is back, suddenly haunting you and making you feel terrible about yourself again.
"what the hell do you think you're doing? oh, that's right. you wasn't. you aren't. you're just a dumb bitch making herself even dumber on this pathetic cock. if only you could see yourself. absolutely shameless. what a whore. begging for this man to fuck you like you never seen a dick before. nothing will ever be the same ever again. he will never look you in the eyes, he'll think of you differently. why didn't you just—"
lewis suddenly stops.
the voices do too, and you are left in confusion. his grip on your wrist is gone now and you didn't even notice. you turn your head, only to see him pulling out.
no. oh, no. no, no, no. the voices were right. he's pulling away. he's regretting this. he's gonna ask you to leave, isn't he?
"can i turn you on your back?" he asks instead.
silence from you for a few seconds before you let out a quiet "what?" before lying on your back on your own. you remove the pillow from under your belly and set it aside.
"you were crying." he points out, brows furrowing as a shadow of concern illuminating his handsome face.
you swallow. you were hoping he wouldn't notice and even if he did, he'd thought that it was because you were enjoying yourself this. the fact that he knows it was the opposite tells you that he knows there are million different things running in your mind right now and you hate it.
"y-yeah but it wasn't— not because of you."
pause. "you want me to slow down?"
again, you shake your head fast.
"i'm okay. please." you hate how quickly you beg for him again.
it's lewis' turn to swallow, his eyes darken slightly at your pleading. he nods before crawling back to you, determined to pick up where he left off, trusting that you will know what to say if you truly desire for him to stop completely.
he grabs one of your legs, wrapping it around his waist before bringing the other to his shoulder. you bite your lip at the way his gaze never wavers from you, making you wonder if he fucks every other girls like this.
no. fuck. stop it. why do you even care?
lewis takes his dick before burying himself inside you once more slightly easier this time. you can't help but moan and thanking him again.
he is slow again at first but it isn't long before his cock slams back at the perfect pace, the sound of skin against skin once again filling up this suite. your whimper mixed with his hisses when you claw on his tattooed back, pulling him closer.
lewis leaves kisses all over your leg, wherever he could reach before his hand sneaks up to fiddle and squeeze your bouncing tits.
you didn't expect him to wipe your tears next.
your eyes locked with his. he continues fucking you but it feels as if time has stopped. he has that look behind the lust that screams sympathy. pity. you hate it but at the same you don't push his hand away, letting him cup your face momentarily. but even lewis doesn't let this gesture happens for too long, always remembering the point of having you underneath him.
it doesn't take long until you feel an invisible knot in your lower belly. you're panting now, almost reaching your peak. lewis realizes this and he fucks you harder, his hand travels down to rub your clit.
"i'm—"
"i know, sweetie," he says, breathless as well. he lowers his body, hiding his face in the crook of your neck and kissing it all over as he feels his own orgasm nearing. "come for me."
a few more thrusts, and you see white. your mouth is agape as you moan silently. his grunt and groans is music to your ears as he spills himself inside the condom.
silence.
lewis never realized how much he needed this as well. not just the sex, but the connection, which he knows is insane to find with someone like you in circumstances like this but what just happened felt different. to be so close with someone he actually knows and not just another girl he calls to his room, not even bother to learn her name.
before he could gather his breath, he feels your body underneath him slipping out. his eyes feels heavy but he tries to hold on, watching you collecting your clothes and dressing back up.
"what are you—"
"that was really great. thank you." was all you said before you left, in a hurry like you refuse to spend another minute in the same room with lewis.
while the man is still on the bed, naked. he hasn't even removed his condom yet. a sigh escapes his lips, lying flat on the bed before staring at the white ceiling.
he did what you asked for, and he could only hope that you would feel better tomorrow morning.
and yet why does his heart suddenly aches, not having you in his arms anymore?
#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 smut#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x oc#f1#f1 smut#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 one shot#f1 x y/n#f1 x oc#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x female reader#f1 x driver reader#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton x oc#lewis hamilton smut#lewis hamilton x driver reader#lewis hamilton x driver!reader
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Going along. with my theory that, "Both Jayce AND Viktor think the other guy is out of their league, which is why they never officially dated." I think one of the misunderstandings that keep them from hooking up sooner stems from how we, the audience, and Jayce see his first encounter with Viktor.
We, the audience, and Jayce see a sequence of events where Jayce met Viktor at his absolute lowest moment. His life's work just literally blew up in his face. Then, when he tries to pitch it to Heimerdinger he's immediately shut down, his future hopes are dashed by his expulsion from the Academy AFTER Mel goads him into talking about magic which turns the rest of the Council against him, his patron (Cassandra Kiramman) abandons him, and his mother calls him mentally unwell in front of everyone in the Council chamber and disavows what she's seen with her own eyes about the magic that has inspired him ever since.
Jayce has lost everything and is ready to end his own life in response because he sees no hope for himself, no purpose in living.
From that perspective, Viktor extending a hand, saying he believes in Jayce's work enough to dedicate his life to working alongside him, is a literal godsend. This senior classmate who is smart enough to earn a spot as the Dean's assistant throws all of that away just to give Jayce at his lowest moment his vote of confidence?
I don't think it's an understatement to say that Viktor saved Jayce's life and from that moment, the moment Viktor gives Jayce back the gem bracelet which was a symbol of Jayce's life and life's work, he is literally giving Jayce back his life and Jayce is determined to dedicate that life to saving Viktor's and making him proud with Hextech. He starts with Viktor on such a high pedestal above him as a result.
Ok, so that's all pretty obvious from the show itself. But what about Viktor's perspective?
From Viktor's perspective, Jayce saved his life, or rather, his career and all his ambitions for this world. When we meet him, Viktor had traveled as high as he can as a poor kid from the undercity, with all his disadvantages, using his own ability. He's assistant to the most powerful man (yordle) in the city on just his smarts alone. But now his life is stagnant.
His ambition was to discover a scientific innovation that would change the world and, possibly, cure himself. And here he meets this scientist, who is younger than him who through an independent study, on his own, has created the miracle which will actually transform this age. And he did it without going through the system (yes he had the Kiramman patronage but he was not telling them what he was working on), without telling anyone what he was working on, without the blessing or assistance of Heimerdinger.
Not only that, but this man is willing to stand up to the most powerful people in the city and say his research was groundbreaking. Then, when everything is stripped away from him, he's prepared to die for his convictions rather than live in a world where he can't advance his research.
I can only imagine this was incredibly humbling for Viktor, to see someone else coming up with the world's most life-changing technology while he was fussing around being an assistant. He takes the leap immediately from, again, working for the most powerful man (yordle) in the city to throwing his entire lot, his career, everything he's earned up to that point, in an all-out gamble to support the invention of Jayce's mind.
And then Jayce is generous enough to let Viktor come on board with him. To call Viktor his partner, even though he wasn't the originator of the idea (and oh BOY is that gonna become a time paradox in and of itself later, did Viktor technically originate the idea when he inspired Jayce with that stone? Where does it actually begin??). Viktor might be an assistant again, but at least he's an assistant to the most important and revolutionary work of this age.
But he doesn't see Jayce's rejection by Heimerdinger in the prison cell, or know what the strategy to survive the trial was supposed to be without the fuck-up of falling for Mel's goading, or his subsequent rejection by Cassandra Kiramman outside the gates, or his mother's rejection of the magical event they saw with their own eyes. He doesn't see Jayce's lowest moments, only the two ideological stands he took both in defending his work to the Council and being willing to die when it's taken from him.
Basically, Viktor could very well see himself as second-fiddle to Jayce in accomplishment alone, then throw in everything Jayce has just naturally, like his looks and his background, and you begin to piece together why both of them might have thought the other was out of his league, and why Viktor fought so hard to create innovations to match Jayce's, or seen himself as flawed and a work in progress until he had such independent accomplishments, and why he would hesitate to confess his feelings to Jayce until he felt he had something to offer in return, not realizing he had already given Jayce the world and literally given Jayce back his life.
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PICK A CARD: Your FS' Secret Kinks
❦ “She lowered her lashes until they almost cuddled her cheeks and slowly raised them again, like a theatre curtain. I was to get to know that trick. That was supposed to make me roll over on my back with all four paws in the air." - Raymon Chandler, The Big Sleep
Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is a gender-neutral reading, change any pronouns to apply to you.
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p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4
✦ Pile One ✦
Poor lil pooh pooh. This person struggles to “fill their cups up” so they get off on denying themselves pleasure. They secretly like the feeling of hitting whatever rock bottom looks like to them. Honestly, they want to be saved. They are wallowing at the bottom of a well, waiting for their savior to swoop in and throw them a rope.
In a more literal sense, they want a person to be their reason to live. Their reason to feel daylight on their skin again. Everyone and everything around them is unsatisfying and “fake”. They want something real to coax them out of their hell and entice them with all the thrilling things life has to offer.
However, they also like this dark and brooding side of themselves. They have a bit of a corruption kink.
They fantasize about a virginal angel coming down to save them, but they end up convincing the angel to sink down to their level.
They like exciting, spontaneous people who are willing to jump up and run out the door to do something fun at any moment, but think innocent fun. Like going to the movies to theater hop, and getting away without paying. Or, running around the Target parking lot in shopping carts and trying not to bang into cars. Maybe even steal a few street signs.
Innocent childhood fun that you’d see in early 90s movies. But add a sadistic twist to it that only they are aware of.
You would be the innocent virgin (doesn’t have to be true, it's their fantasy) who is unknowingly leading this beast (also not true, they are just extremely self-deprecating) to your pretty little happy places which they plan to desecrate.
They want to fuck you in your family home and make a mess of your childhood bed, making you scream so loud that you’re family starts to look at you differently. They want to take you to your favorite movie spots where you usually chill and hangout with your friends and turn it into a place where all you can think about is them covering your mouth in the back of the theater while you’re squirming in their lap, trying to escape out of their grip as they edge you to the new Marvel release.
They have a kink for turning all of your innocent, fun moments into their very own filthy fantasies.
Ps. Fisting came out of the blue so lube up!
Come To Me, My Senseless Angel
✦ Pile Two ✦
I don’t believe this is a future spouse, to be honest. This might be a situationship you need to move past. They seem emotionally immature, or at least this is a side of them that exclusively comes out when they’re aroused.
They can be quite abrasive and feel like they are constantly under attack so they’re incredibly defensive. They have a history of lashing out at their loved ones when they feel overwhelmed and get so blinded by their emotions that they disregard their affection for their partners and say really unforgettable, harmful words which permanently alters the connection for the worse.
They carry guilt from these actions and are in a constant state of regret. In this state, their sense of pleasure is a little twisted. They get turned on by causing a genuine issue in the relationship. They like the idea of pushing you to your limit where you’re this 🤏 close to your breaking point and at your absolute lowest. It’s when you reach your rock bottom and realize the need to move away from this person and you scream out, “I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.”
They like to grovel. You know that cycle where somebody fucks up and then they’re in the dog house buying flowers and being extra fluffy just to get in the victim’s good graces so they can do the same thing over again. So far, pile one and two’s respective partners like to feel like shit. They secretly like the moment where they completely fuck up a relationship and have to beg on their hands and knees to get their person back orrrrrr they get off on emotionally tearing someone down to the point where they get on their knees to bed for this person’s attention.
Either way, there's a lot of fucked psychological issues underneath this fantasy that I’m not unpacking here because it differs from person to person.
In its best light, this person glorifies struggle love. At its worst, this person is purposefully emotionally abusive with the intent to tear their partner down for their own sexual gratification.
They’re conscious enough to know their actions are toxic but don’t have the emotional maturity to work past their actions. They’re at the phase where they’re just aware and are like “I know I’m shitty but that’s just who I am. If they stick with me and the sex is good, it’s meant to be.”
I’m honestly getting twitter relationship hypotheticals with this one. Iykyk.
They’re also an edgelord. Less in an internet cockroach way and more in a witty- can be funny if done well- way, but they get pleasure from shocking people nonetheless. This energy can be directed toward you to piss you off and annoy you with the intent of getting in your pants later.
I’ve been guided to switch the conversation briefly: If this resonates and is someone you are dealing with. It is time to move on. This person gets gratification from hurting you and will not get past that high of tearing down a relationship and then having a messy recovery. They have their own issues to work through and cannot see how they are hurting you. There is no future with this person, they came into your life to teach you a lesson about your self-value. That cycle has run its course and it's time to move on.
To be honest, I’m not a fan of this person and don’t even want to list the explicit kinks that came out but I will just in case this message is for you but you’re not sure.
Random messages: Hot tub/pool sex, hair pulling, break down crying, interracial, milk, broken condom, “i fucking hate you”, “whore”, mirror, drunk sex, complaining, smack a bitch, twitter
P.S. You’re too sexy for the bullshit! There is bigger and greater out there, you just need to believe that for yourself!
This person will not get a mood board out of me.
✦ Pile Three ✦
Okay, so this person has some deep religious guilt. This is a male presenting person. I am being clear with their sex because it plays a role in this reading. They have some majorly repressed feminine energy. They may even be attracted to the same sex.
This is a fs reading, so they are likely bi, pansexual, or trans. Either way, their family is close-minded and is not supportive of them. They were forced to leave home so they could finally live their truth. They have lived their entire life fitting somebody else’s narrative. They were the hypermasculine bro type to “cover up” their femininity.
So, they have a kink for hyperfeminity. It’s almost to the point where they obsess over the caricature of girlhood. I see lots of pink, high heels, full-glam, all-day mall shopping, pinup curls, flashy jewelry, sleepovers, day spas, that scene in Scott Pilgrim where that girl is like “SHE’S PROBABLY LIKE 25!”, and everything else that gets associated with “girlhood” nowadays.
They fantasize about you in your receptive energy, being waited on and cared for hand and foot. They like to observe the way you move. Everything about you and your feminine aura is incredibly alluring to them. The way with each breath your breasts fall, your hips swaying with each step, the cute way you match your accessories with your outfits. They notice everything about you.
You know those paintings of wealthy women lying on their sides and being fed grapes? That. They’re not in the serving role, they're the painter. Their kink is capturing you in those everyday moments where the world seems to be waiting on you like you’re the collective’s queen.
They see femininity in a higher light than the general population. They see women as automatically deserving of this type of care, they also want this care.
They have a secret hard-on for pregnant women and women with swollen breasts. They have a lactation kink. They fantasize about cumming in you over and over again. They see you as a Goddess, so they want to see you masturbate at church on an altar, like you're waiting to be worshipped.
A lot of their fantasies, they’re not even included in. It’s just you looking God-like and being worshipped by the world around you. This person may hate when you wear clothes. They act like the fabric is committing a sin by covering your body. They just want to capture your essence. Like an admirer and a student.
P.S. Dick game goes CRAZY. They watch a lot of women-focused porn to study what gets a woman off. Like Maddie in Euphoria, he is there to study.
Pretty In Pink
✦ Pile Four ✦
WE GOT A PLEASURE DOM IN THE BUILDING Y’ALL STAY CALM. As my mama would say, they love your dirty drawls!
You could do no wrong in this person’s eyes. They’re the golden retriever type. Head empty, leading with heart and IN LOVE>>>>>
You are the pot of gold and the end of the rainbow they’re chasing. They appreciate a good fling but they’ve never felt this before. The emotions you stir in them are unprecedented, this is puppy, sandbox love that most people lose touch with after life jades them.
This is raw love at its most unprocessed. I taste honey.
They have a kink for the power you have over them. It’s like you have a carrot on a stick and they’re the pig being led to a love den they can’t escape. And they’ll happily be the squealing pig in every lifetime they get with you. This is a soul yearning.
You will know this person because they will proactively pursue you and they will have no doubts in their mind about it. They are really attracted to your physical form, your curves. Even if you’re on the slimmer side, they like your structure and the dips in your spine. They’ll stare at you when you’re talking and zone out, thinking about how attractive they find you.
They’re not used to having to try to get someone to sleep with them. They have to put effort towards you and they like that. This person is downright thirsty and craves intimacy with you.
Their fantasies aren’t even dirty, they’re passionate. They want to put you in a mating press, with your knees pressed all the way up beside your ears. They want to penetrate (could be with a toy) deeply and touch that gooey part of you that makes you see stars.
They want to see an imprint of them in your lower belly. Any position where you’re in their arms is a go for them because they like having you. They want every moment to be just you and them away from the world. So very sweet and intimate. They also love marking you, expect lots of hickeys.
Ignore them from time to time too (healthily, these conditions should be discussed beforehand)! They see you as the ultimate prize, so if you delay their satisfaction, they’ll feel like they’re chasing again, which gets them off. They like to feel like they’re convincing you to sleep with them. You both are consenting, but they like the idea of you having better things to do and they’re trying to convince you to stay and party with them.
They are very action-oriented and love movement. Anything that involves an adventure together, they are down for.
PS. Surprise them with a bubble bath together, they’ll love that. And tease them while pulling their hair a bit!
Ode To My Darling Sun
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CLEAN, PT 2
summary: after rehab, you reunite with thanos, sharing love, passion, and a fresh start together.
parings: thanos/choi su-bong x f!reader
warnings: mention of addiction, swearing, smut, oral (both receiving), fingering, handjob, unprotected sex (don’t be an idiot), p in v.
part 1
Three months ago, Thanos had dragged you—kicking, screaming, and cursing his name—into the same rehab facility where he had gotten clean.
Today, you were walking out.
With no family to pick you up (Thanos didn’t even know if you had any who cared), he was the one waiting.
Three excruciating months apart. He spent every day wondering if you hated him, if you were okay. But no calls from the facility meant you weren’t doing too bad. Meanwhile, you had spent those months drowning in withdrawal, fighting everyone who tried to help, refusing therapy—until eventually, you gave in. And for the first time in years, you felt normal. You started to remember the girl you used to be before the drugs took her away.
Then came the shame. The time lost. You should’ve graduated from art school by now, but instead, addiction had dictated your life. You regretted cutting off your family, pushing away friends until you had none left. You regretted how you had treated Thanos when all he ever did was try to save you.
And now, standing at the door, your hands trembled. Would anyone even be waiting for you?
Then—
“Y/N.”
You blinked.
Thanos.
You didn’t think. You just ran.
Throwing yourself at him, you hugged him so tightly it knocked the wind out of him. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you.
“Thank you,” you whispered, voice shaking. You pulled back slightly to look at him. “Thank you so much.”
“Don’t thank me,” he murmured, brushing away your tears.
“I didn’t deserve your help,” you admitted, pulling away completely. He caught your hands, grounding you. “I was so awful to you. I’m so, so sorry.”
“I know what it’s like to be an addict,” he replied. “Everyone deserves help.”
Sniffing, you wiped your eyes as he led you to his car.
It was strange. You had known Thanos for nine months, lived with him, had sex with him, and yet… you didn’t really know him. Your brain had been so fried on drugs you barely retained any information.
And Thanos was the same. He had taken care of you, paid for your rehab, seen you at your lowest, and yet he didn’t know who you were.
Maybe it was time to change that.
The car ride was quiet at first. You were still getting used to the feeling of sobriety, of being aware. But as the city passed by through the windows, you glanced at Thanos.
“I used to paint,” you blurted out.
He looked at you. “Yeah?”
You nodded. “Before everything… I loved painting. I was good at it, too. I was supposed to graduate art school a few years ago. Art was my dream.”
Silence settled for a moment before you continued. “I had a good life. A good family. My parents weren’t perfect, but they cared. I had a future. And then I got caught up with the wrong people.” You swallowed. “I let it ruin me.”
Thanos tightened his grip on the wheel. “It’s not too late.”
You let out a small, breathy laugh. “You sound like my therapist.”
“Well, your therapist is right,” he said, glancing at you. “You’re clean now. You can start again.”
You didn’t reply, just watched the city blur past.
“What about you?” you asked. “How did you get into rapping?”
Thanos smirked slightly. “It was either rap or go to jail.”
Your brows furrowed, but you stayed quiet, waiting for him to explain.
“I was a street kid,” he said. “Grew up bouncing between different family members. No real home. I got into some bad shit—gangs, drugs, fights. Ended up locked up a few times as a teenager. But music…” He sighed, tapping his fingers against the wheel. “Music was my way out. I started writing lyrics in juvie. Got out, kept at it, got lucky. Somehow, I made it big.”
You stared at him, realizing this was the first real conversation you’d ever had. “Do you love it?”
Thanos was quiet for a beat. “Yeah. I do.”
You smiled softly. “I’d like to hear your songs sometime. Really hear them. Not just in the background while I’m high out of my mind.”
His lips quirked up. “I’d like that too.”
And for the first time in a long time, you both felt like you were finally getting to know each other.
Thanos had loved you before—loved you in your worst moments, through the chaos, the anger, the addiction. But this version of you? The version that was bright-eyed, passionate, full of life again? He loved this version even more.
As he stole glances at you in the passenger seat, he really saw you for the first time. Your cheeks had filled out, your skin looked healthier, your eyes were wide and alert instead of hazy and half-lidded. And that smile—soft, genuine, real.
You were beautiful.
He pulled into the driveway, and you blinked, tilting your head.
“This isn’t the place I remember,” you said, glancing up at the massive mansion in front of you.
Thanos shrugged. “Bought a new house while you were gone.” He put the car in park and looked over at you. “Wanted to leave the bad memories behind and make good ones here instead.”
You let out a small laugh. “House? More like a mansion.”
Thanos smirked, pushing open his door. “Being rich and famous has its perks.”
You stepped out after him, following him inside. The space was opulent—high ceilings, sleek furniture, stunning artwork lining the walls. You turned in slow circles, taking it all in.
“I’ll donate them to charity,” Thanos said.
You glanced at him, confused. “What?”
“The paintings,” he clarified. “I’d rather have your art on my walls.”
Your cheeks burned, and you ducked your head, kicking at the floor. “I haven’t picked up a paintbrush in years,” you admitted. “Not sure I even can anymore.”
Thanos smiled. “I bet you can.”
Before you could argue, he took your hand and led you up the grand staircase, past a few closed doors, before stopping in front of one. He pushed it open, revealing a bedroom with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the entire city.
“This is your room,” he said simply.
You stepped inside, breath catching. It was beautiful. Warm-toned, cozy, welcoming. He walked over to the closet and pulled open the doors, revealing racks of neatly hung designer clothes, tags still on them.
“I even got you a new wardrobe,” he added.
You stared at the clothes, shaking your head. “Thanos, this is too much,” you whispered. “After everything I put you through… You shouldn’t have to take care of me anymore.”
He turned to you, gaze steady. “I want to.”
His words sat heavy between you. No hesitation, no doubt.
For the first time in a long time, you felt happy.
Real, genuine happiness. The kind that made your stomach flip and your heart race.
Or maybe it wasn’t just happiness. Maybe it was something deeper, something terrifying in its intensity.
You stared at him, eyes brimming with tears. “Thank you.” Your voice was barely a whisper, afraid that if you spoke any louder, the moment would shatter.
Thanos met your gaze, unwavering. “You’re welcome.”
You stepped forward hesitantly. “I don’t remember a lot from when I was using,” you admitted. “But I remember you.”
His brows lifted slightly. “What do you remember?”
You swallowed hard. “I remember you force-feeding me when I refused to eat. Flushing my stash down the toilet. I remember screaming in your face, kicking holes in your walls.” A tear slipped down your cheek, but you kept going. “I remember sleeping with strangers, with your friends—right after you told me you loved me.” Your voice cracked. “I was horrible to you. But that wasn’t the real me. I swear.”
Thanos nodded, watching you carefully. “I know,” he said simply. “But there were good times too, right? You remember those?”
You did.
You remembered the way he’d tuck you in at night, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. The way he’d run a bath for you after you got sick all over yourself, holding you steady as he cleaned you up. The way he kissed you like he was willing to set the world on fire for you. The way he touched you, loved you, even when you were too far gone to truly feel it.
“I remember how you made me feel,” you whispered, stepping closer.
His lips parted, his breath hitching as your fingers traced up his chest.
“I remember your hands,” you murmured, voice turning sultry. “Your mouth. Your tongue. Your fingers.” Your hand slid lower, brushing over the hardening bulge in his jeans. “Your cock inside me.”
Thanos inhaled sharply as you pushed your palms against his chest.
You had spent weeks thinking about this—about fucking him sober. About feeling everything for the first time.
“You made me feel so good,” you purred. “So fucking good, Thanos.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “My real name is Su-bong,” he muttered, his voice hoarse.
You smirked. “Well—Su-bong…” Your eyes darkened with intent. “Let me make it up to you. Let me show you how good I can be.”
That was all it took.
His lips crashed against yours, hungry and demanding, his hands gripping your waist as he backed you toward the bed. You gasped as the backs of your knees hit the mattress, and he wasted no time pushing you onto your back, peeling his shirt off in one swift motion and tossing it to the floor.
You sat up slightly, dragging your fingertips down his toned abdomen, your mouth practically watering at the sight of him.
He was already hard for you.
And this time, you were completely, devastatingly sober.
You dragged your nails down his chest, feeling the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch. His skin was warm, firm—real. For the first time, you were feeling him, not just through a hazy drug-fueled blur, but with a clarity that sent a shiver down your spine.
Thanos—Su-bong—looked down at you with dark, hooded eyes, his lips parted slightly as he took you in. “You’re teasing me,” he murmured, voice thick with desire.
You smirked, trailing your fingers lower, letting them ghost over the waistband of his jeans. “Maybe,” you mused. “I owe you, don’t I?”
His hands slid up your sides, rough palms skimming the soft fabric of the shirt he had given you months ago—the same one you had walked out of rehab in. Slowly, he peeled it up and over your head, letting it drop to the floor.
His gaze roamed over you, drinking in every inch of exposed skin, every little mark and scar. You weren’t the frail, hollow version of yourself anymore. You were whole.
“You’re beautiful,” he muttered, his fingers trailing over your ribs, then up to cup your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples. You let out a soft gasp, arching into his touch.
His mouth found your throat, lips pressing firm, open-mouthed kisses along the column of your neck. He sucked lightly at your pulse, dragging his teeth over the sensitive skin, making you shudder.
“Su-bong,” you breathed, threading your fingers through his hair.
He groaned at the way you said his name, his hands sliding down your body, squeezing at your waist, your hips, like he was memorizing the shape of you.
You tugged at the waistband of his jeans, undoing the button and pulling the zipper down, your fingers slipping inside to brush against the hard length beneath his boxers. He let out a sharp exhale, hips jerking forward slightly at your touch.
“Fuck,” he hissed, his forehead dropping against yours. “You really want this?”
You wrapped your fingers around him, squeezing just enough to make him curse under his breath. “More than anything,” you whispered.
His lips crashed against yours again, hungrier this time, his hands gripping your thighs as he pushed you back onto the bed, positioning himself between your legs. You gasped as he kissed his way down your body, his mouth hot and insistent against your skin.
When he reached the waistband of your jeans, he hooked his fingers into them, glancing up at you for permission.
You lifted your hips in response, breath hitching as he dragged them down, taking your panties with them, exposing you completely to him.
His eyes darkened, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. “Fuck, baby,” he muttered, his voice thick with lust.
Then, without hesitation, he leaned down and devoured you.
His tongue flicked against your clit, slow and teasing, sending a jolt of pleasure through your core. Your fingers twisted into his hair, hips jerking instinctively, but he pinned you down with a firm grip on your thighs.
“You’re so fucking wet,” he groaned against you, his breath hot, his voice thick with hunger. “Missed this pussy so much.”
A whimper slipped from your lips as he flattened his tongue and licked a long, slow stripe up your slit before sucking your clit into his mouth. Your back arched, thighs trembling, but just as the pleasure built, just as you felt yourself spiraling, you pushed at his shoulders.
Thanos pulled back, his mouth glistening, brows furrowing in confusion. “What?”
You took a shaky breath, trying to clear the haze of pleasure from your mind. “This is about you, not me,” you murmured, pushing yourself up on your elbows. “I’m paying you back.”
A slow, wicked grin spread across his face. “If it’s about me, then I should get to do what I want,” he countered, voice low, dangerous. “And what I want to do is fucking taste you.”
“Jesus Christ,” you breathed, heat surging through your body.
Before you could protest further, he dove back in, his tongue circling your clit while two fingers slid inside you, curling just right. A strangled moan tore from your throat, your hips bucking as he worked you open, relentless and precise.
It didn’t take long—he knew exactly how to unravel you, exactly how to have you gripping his hair and gasping his name. Your orgasm hit fast and hard, your body shaking as he held you down, licking you through every wave until you were panting, overstimulated.
Only then did he pull away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, looking so fucking smug.
“Fuck,” you muttered, still catching your breath. “I forgot how good you were at that. Feels even better sober.”
His smirk widened. “Unforgettable, baby.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight the smile tugging at your lips. Pushing him onto his back, you straddled his hips, hands sliding up his chest, fingers teasing over his nipples before raking down his abs.
“My turn,” you whispered.
You kissed down his body, taking your time, nipping at his collarbones, sucking marks into his skin just to watch him tense beneath you. When you reached the waistband of his jeans, you tugged them down, freeing his cock, your mouth practically watering at the sight of him—thick, hard, already leaking.
You wrapped your fingers around him, stroking slow, teasing. His breath hitched, his head tipping back against the pillows.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his fingers curling into the sheets. “You gonna take care of me, baby?”
You leaned down, pressing a kiss to his tip, then dragged your tongue along his length, watching the way his stomach tensed beneath you.
“Of course,” you murmured, voice dripping with promise.
And then you took him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as he let out a deep, guttural moan, his hands flying to your hair.
Your tongue worked him slowly, dragging along every inch of his length, teasing just to hear him groan. You hollowed your cheeks, taking him deeper, letting him hit the back of your throat, moaning around him just to feel the way he twitched in your mouth.
“Shit, baby,” Thanos growled, his fingers tightening in your hair. “Missed your mouth—so perfect, so fucking good for me.”
The praise only made you more eager. You bobbed your head, stroking the rest of him with your hand, slick and messy, making sure to keep your eyes on him. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his jaw clenched, his muscles tense as he fought to keep control.
But you didn’t want him to be in control.
You pulled off him with a lewd pop, kissing up his abs as you moved to straddle his waist. His cock was hard, flushed, throbbing against your soaked folds as you rubbed against him, teasing both of you.
“Hey,” he hissed, gripping your hips. “Quit teasing.”
You smirked, leaning down to kiss him, slow and deep, your fingers threading into his hair. “You always take care of me,” you whispered against his lips. “Let me take care of you now.”
Without breaking eye contact, you reached down, guiding him to your entrance before sinking down onto him in one slow, delicious slide. Both of you gasped at the sensation, your walls stretching around him, molding to him perfectly like you were made for this.
“Jesus,” Thanos groaned, his head tipping back, fingers digging into your hips as he tried not to lose himself completely.
“You feel so good,” you breathed, placing your hands on his chest, rolling your hips slowly, savoring the way he filled you so perfectly. “So fucking good, Su-bong.”
His eyes snapped open at the sound of his real name on your lips, dark and wild with lust. He sat up suddenly, wrapping an arm around your waist, his mouth latching onto your neck, sucking bruises into your skin as you continued moving, grinding against him, taking him deeper.
You moaned, clinging to his shoulders, kissing him desperately, your tongues tangling, the pleasure building between you like a fire. “Thank you,” you whispered against his lips, rocking faster, harder. “Thank you for saving me. For never giving up on me.”
A low growl rumbled in his chest as he flipped you onto your back, keeping you pinned beneath him, his hips snapping against yours, hitting deeper, harder.
“You’re mine,” he muttered between kisses, his voice rough, possessive. “Always fucking mine.”
“Yours,” you gasped, nails raking down his back, legs wrapping around him to pull him even closer. “Only yours.”
His pace turned desperate, his thrusts brutal yet somehow still so full of love, his forehead pressing against yours, his hand slipping between you to rub your clit, determined to drag you over the edge with him.
And when you came—hard, clenching around him, gasping his name like a prayer—he followed right after, burying himself deep, groaning into your mouth as he filled you, his entire body shuddering against yours.
For a long moment, neither of you moved, tangled together in the aftermath, your breathing heavy, your hearts racing in sync.
Then Thanos kissed you again, softer this time, lingering. “I still love you,” he murmured against your lips. “I always have.”
You smiled, brushing your fingers through his damp hair. “I think I love you too.”
And when he pulled you into his arms, holding you close like he never wanted to let go, you knew—you meant it.
You lay there for a while, tangled up in each other, your skin slick with sweat, his breath warm against your neck. The weight of him felt comforting, grounding, like you never wanted him to move.
But eventually, you stirred, pressing a soft kiss to his temple before slipping out of his arms.
“Where are you going?” Thanos mumbled, his voice thick with exhaustion.
You giggled, running a hand through his messy hair. “Relax, I’m just grabbing a towel.”
You padded to the bathroom, your legs still wobbly, but you didn’t care. You cleaned yourself up before wetting a towel, you returned to the bed, settling beside him as you began to clean him up, running the cloth over his stomach, down between his legs, gentle and careful.
Thanos watched you, his expression soft, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your thigh. “You don’t have to do that,” he murmured.
“I want to,” you replied, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “Let me take care of you for once.”
He huffed out a small laugh, letting you do as you pleased, though his hands never stopped touching you—gliding over your arm, your waist, like he needed the reassurance that you were still here.
When you were done, you tossed the towel aside, crawling back into his embrace, peppering kisses along his jaw, his cheek, the corner of his mouth.
Thanos smirked. “You’re in a good mood.”
“I think you fucked the happiness into me,” you teased, making him chuckle before he suddenly rolled you onto your back, hovering over you, nuzzling into your neck.
You giggled, your hands slipping into his hair, tugging him up so you could kiss him properly. Slow, lazy, sweet.
After a while, you pulled back just enough to look at him, brushing his damp hair from his face. “Thank you for the room,” you said softly. “But… I think I’d rather share a bed with you, if that’s okay?”
He pressed a lingering kiss to your lips, his thumb stroking your cheek. “That’s more than okay,” he murmured. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
You smiled, burying your face in his chest, and for the first time in years, you felt home.
You still had a long road ahead—staying clean, rebuilding bridges with your family, reenrolling in art school. But those were worries for another day.
For now, you stayed wrapped in Thanos’ arms, making up for lost time, showering him with the love you should have given him all along.
#choi subong smut#choi su bong#choi su bong x reader#thanos smut#thanos x reader#thanos#player 230 smut#player 230 x reader#player 230#squid game
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𝐇𝐒𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍'𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 featuring: silver wolf, lingsha, the herta, kafka, sparkle tags: fluff, self-aware au
silverwolf
"you're kidding me," you hear silverwolf's annoyed voice through your headphones.
silverwolf watches through your camera as you put both your hands together and lower your head in apology. before you can say your sorry excuses, the hacker sighs loudly and beats your incoming punch with her own. "it's the meta isn't it?"
"i mean, it'd make sense to pull for newer characters since you can't even clear endgame," she teases, taking a jab at your gaming skills every chance she gets like she usually does. her voice sounded light and casual but the twinge of dejection didn't escape your trained ears. you couldn't think of anything else to say since she saw right through your reasons.
"i won't say i don't understand. i'm a gamer too, y'know." silverwolf shrugs as she pops her bubblegum with a loud smack. she takes out her phone and gave it a few taps.
"but that doesn't mean i'm gonna accept your decision." and with that, your screen suddenly turns black. you try to restart your computer and reboot the game but the black screen keeps staring right back at you.
after a few weeks of multiple failed attempts, rendering you unable to pull for the character you wanted. hours right before the banner ends, your computer finally comes back to life. however, you log in to the game only to find out all your reserves of stellar jades and special passes were emptied.
you hear a bubblegum smack as you look at your screen in despair.
lingsha
"i wonder what made you go back on your promise," lingsha is as sweet as ever even as you break the news to her. she smiles at you over your screen albeit her eyes were dimmer and you see a raging vein popping in the side of her smooth forehead, a clear sign she's quite irritated.
"you were doing so good saving up for me, dear. you even told me you were going to get all of my eidolons," her smile twitches as the words leave her mouth and her hands that were petting tuskpir freeze for a moment before caressing again.
"did other women caught your eye, perhaps?" she asks with a raised eyebrow, staring right at you and boring a hole through your soul despite being in a completely dimension as you. "no, of course not," you deny as soon as her words materialized in the air.
"then, what prompted the change of plans?" she asks again, more firmly this time. tuskpir notices the change in her demeanor and quickly scurried off, leaving you alone to deal with a quietly seething cauldron master.
"have you lost interest in me then? maybe in starting to lose my touch." linsgha is confident she has you wrapped around her finger but she still couldn't help but question, it has more to do with her desire to see you squirm uncomfortably rather than being conscious of her charms.
"you know as well as i do that i haven't," your answer sounded more like a plea. it gave lingsha satisfaction but, unfortunately, her mind games are not over yet. at least not until she gets what she wants.
"so, what is the reason then, darling," the question leaves her mouth for the third time but her small smile never left her face once although it was slowly becoming smaller and smaller. you stay silent, racking your brain for reasons to ease her tranquil wrath. she takes your pause as cue to give you her final blow of the long interrogation.
"if you don't have one, then let's do as you promise. warp for me." there wasn't room for questions unlike her previous remarks. her hand outstretches to you as if inviting. you nod without a second thought.
the herta
"why?"
herta is confused. not pull for her? that is something even lifeforms with the lowest intelligence would not dare do. unfathomable. doing the unthinkable might have been what initially made herta take interest in you but now she thinks you're losing a few braincells.
"who could possibly be better than me?" it would take a whole lot to damage the herta's enormous and pristine ego but she thinks your decision poked it a little. "there's no correct answer by the way. no one is better than me," she answers her own question.
"perhaps you've grown complacent because you have my puppets with you." she comes closer to your screen. "but do you not want the real thing?" she asks as her voice tickles your ears trough the speakers. but before she can get anymore closer she stops halfway through, rekindling your desire to pull her closer.
"well, feel free to do as you like. i could care less about what you do anyways," she flips her silky hair and struts away from you.
well, that went easier than you thought. you were sure herta would give you hell for even thinking about not pulling for her. so you go on your merry way to go back to farming.
"not even one stellar jade?!?! after three hours of farming!"
you spent your remaining fuels and trailblazer power but it seems the system is bent on cursing you. the monsters were harder to beat and the rare instance that you do the drops were extremely scarce.
in the end, you weren't able to pull for the character you wanted due to insufficient resources.
kafka
"there's no need to choose, love." kafka says calmly as she looks down at you from her seat. the camera is always angled upwards every time she's on screen, effectively you making you crane your neck to glance at her like is the sky.
"name the price and you shall have it," she declares without any hesitation. her smooth cheek rests on her palm as if sponsoring your pulls are as trivial as the sky being blue.
"i-no, it's wrong. i don't want you to use your money on me," no matter how enticing the offer was, your morals held you back from accepting. you're not her sugar baby, you remind yourself.
"and i don't want you wanting anyone else other me," she replies without missing a beat and your heart thumps louder with how fast she responded without an ounce of doubt in her smooth voice.
"so don't be shy and take it. i want you to have me."
sparkle
"YES! FIRST TEN PULLS AND SHE FINALLY CAME HOME!"
you stand from your chair in shock as the character you've been warping for appear on screen. your fingers hurriedly go to the character menu to greet the new addition to your roster.
"hello~, little one," the character greets you. odd, you don't think the character would call you 'little one'. you only know one person that would call you such nickname. the feeling of familiarity creeps up from your spine and settles at the back of your tongue as you come up with a plausible deduction.
"sparkle," you sigh. you should've known sparkle wouldn't just sit around and watch you warp for somebody else.
"oh no! my cover's been blown," despite the words, the character giggles as she puts her hand in front of her lips. slowly the character's appearance morph into the mischievous girl you know.
"whats with the disappointed look? you're hurting my feelings, cutie," sparkle fakes a pout as her hand press against her chest before her signature smirk takes home in her lips again.
"you should've seen your face when you were celebrating!" she clasps her hands in front and her eyes cloud and get dreamy as she reminisces your reaction.
"you must be even happier since you got a better one, me" she blows a kiss to your camera.
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