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oh hey um we kinda damnatio memoriae-ed your boyfriend. yeah we chiselled his name off all the inscriptions and everything. he’s ███ ██ ████ ██████ now. sorry.

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I felt compelled to redraw an older piece of mine in this style and it was honestly so much fun! She is Lavinia, one of the main characters from the book I'm currently writing 💜

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I bet my body fucking hates it whenever I get a piercing. Poor thing is like HEY THERE'S A PUNCTURE WOUND. IN THE FACE. A FOREIGN OBJECT IN THE PUNCTURE WOUND. And I'm like oh yeah lmao I know, it's there on purpose. THE FUCK YOU MEAN IT'S THERE ON PURPOSE?? Yeah I got it put there on purpose, just heal around it. THE FUCK YOU MEAN IT'S THERE ON PURPOSE. WHY IS THERE A PUNCTURE WOUND WITH AN OBJECT IN IT. ON PURPOSE.

And I'm like chill, it's sterile, we're gonna clean it twice a day so it won't get infected. I DON'T FUCKING CARE THAT IT'S STERILE. And I'm like wow the fuck you mean you don't care? Do you want it to get infected?

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD ALSO MAKE IT NOT GET INFECTED? NOT. HAVING. WOUNDS. WITH. FOREIGN. OBJECTS. IN THEM.

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Bovine figure of the day: Royal Crown Derby Friesian Cow Paperweight

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I'm a huge hypocrite, if we're being honest. If I haven't had a beverage and it's been dark for too long I'll be like "nothing has ever been good and I shall die ;__;" but as soon as I get a little sip of water and it's sunny outside I'm like nvm I'm thriving I love life :)

But if my houseplants do that exact same thing, I'll call evert single one of them an overdramatic bitch.

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When you walk away,

You don't hear me say,

Please, oh baby, don't go

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Oh rival~oh rival! 🎶

Pose template / base : @/nasy_kuching (on the former bird app)

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Merman Kiel AU

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Okay this comment I just came across deserves its own post. Imagine showing this to someone who's never used Tumblr and explaining why haikus are relevant in this context.

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i didn't say it was good, i said it has bewitched me body and soul

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why is this picture i took of my ipad behind my meowth figure the best thing i've ever made

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Did you know that you can vote for the Wildlife Photographer of the Year’s People’s Choice Award? Go do so!

Here are some of the 25 photos you can vote on - but you can only pick one, so choose carefully!

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im an abbot and tbh if i dont vibe with one of my monks i call the vatican and tell them he's tempting the other monks to most profane and unnatural couplings and they just take him back and send a new one no questions asked

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royalty au

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So I tend to put on a youtube video most nights to fall asleep to (laptop on a shutdown timer.) And lately, my recommendations are a lot of videogame speedruns or videogame hidden facts.

Last night I pulled up youtube and got a "I played the 10 worst wii games ever" kind of video. ~30 minutes long. Fair enough! Show me the terrible wii games.

I'm paying attention for the beginning, since hey I'm still awake. And maybe like, 6 minutes into the video the guy starts going into heavy detail about how to pirate and copy wii games.

And I'm like, shit, bold, considering this video has 500,000 views. Bravo and all that.

The terrible wii games go on. I fall asleep.

I wake up to the sound of like... mechanical grinding?

Look at the laptop. There's a guy in a hazmat suit mixing dangerous chemicals, going "hey don't mix these dangerous chemicals."

I'm like, "Oh, the video ended. And the algorithm put me on... chemical mixing Youtube I guess."

I look at the video Title. "I Played The Worst Wii Games Ever Made"

....Oh.

It's still the video.

So surely he is... mixing chemicals to clean off an unplayable wii disk? Trying to touch up the lone copy of some forgotten game bought off ebay?

No...

He's just.

Mixing chemicals.

I hover over the video sections.

The 10 worst wii game sections have ended. He played them all.

The last 10 minutes is just dedicated to... him in a hazmat suit mixing dangerous chemicals.

....????

I fall back asleep.

....

I need to go back and check this video to make sure I did not imagine this all in a half-asleep stupor

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90% of pregnancy plotlines