#sane? questionable. safe? definitely not

[reminiscingtonight]

pool, drunk, sunglasses Alexia

Cooling Off (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

[WOSO Masterlist]

You’ve been having a fairly great day so far. 

Woke up a little bit earlier than normal, but managed to have a cute little breakfast date with your girlfriend. Alexia catered to your every whim, being every bit the doting girlfriend you knew her to be. The two of you barely got through the door frame before your friends were dragging you back out again, so much yet to explore in the city. 

Now it’s late afternoon and the lot of you are all lying around the back of the villa. Most of the others are making great use of the pool, but you’ve found your own spot in the sun to work on your tan. Eyes closed, basking in the soothing warmth of the sun, everything would have been perfect… if it wasn’t for the shadow that falls over you in what feels like only a few minutes. 

Peeking an eye open, you’re not surprised to see your girlfriend peering over at you. 

“Pool time?” Alexia looks a bit sheepish, shuffling on her feet. It’s a question she’s asked no less than three times now, but each time you’ve come up with an excuse why you shouldn’t.

“I just ate.”

“I’ve got a cramp.”

“Oh look! I think Jenni wants your attention.”

Alexia’s an energetic person at heart. If she’s not out practicing on the pitch, she’s running or biking or doing literally anything to burn off her excess energy. Vacation Alexia is no different. She’s already managed to rope you and the other girls out on some sweat-worthy hikes. After the third time she tricked your entire group into joining her for another energy spending outing, you all banned her from planning any more activities for the group. 

She whined and pouted and argued away, but you all held firm. 

And that’s where the pool comes in. The only upside to having a pool in your rented villa, other than the occasional cooling off of course, is that Alexia has a way to work away her energy while everyone else gets to relax. It’s also a bonus that you have some nice eye-candy to look at while she’s swimming those strokes, but for the most part it helps keep the rest of you sane. 

So yeah, maybe you’ve been denying hopping into the pool whenever she asks. You know your girlfriend like the back of your hand, and you’d be a fool not to expect forced laps if you joined her in the water.

“Nope. I’m drunk. Drunk people shouldn’t go into the pool.” 

It’s a lie of course. 

You both knew how high of a tolerance you have, not to mention the clearly full drink still sitting by your side. 

Alexia doesn’t miss your full drink either, narrowing her eyes at you. “Drunk you say?”

You give her your best smile. “Yep. And you know what they say about drunk swimming.”

She raises an eyebrow. “It’s a good way to sober up?”

You roll your eyes, “No, you daft--”

Whatever you’re about to say is caught off in a scream when you’re suddenly hoisted in the air, sunglasses slipping off your head and crashing back down on your chair. 

“Alexia! What are you-- Let me go!”

Your girlfriend pretends she can’t hear you, tightening her grip on your body. It doesn’t matter how much you thrash, the muscles she spent hours cultivating in the gym were definitely not just for show. 

Everyone else at least has enough mind to swim out of the way when they see Alexia approach the edge of the pool.

“Alexia Putellas I swear to god, if you throw me in--”

“What’s that? Did you say something?” Alexia turns her head side to side, but there’s no mistaking the shit eating grin on her face. “‘Please throw you in?’ Oh well when you give me a request like that.”

“Alexia, don’t you dare!” 

---

Safe to say, Alexia spent the night sleeping in the living room.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

it will come back.

"i warn you, baby, each night, as sure as you're born, you'll hear me howling at your door..." - hozier, it will come back

pairing: yandere!bucky barnes x reader c.w.: dark!bucky (he definitely does some questionable things, but nothing graphic)

a.n. - it's official, i've become addicted to lower case fics. they're just so much fun. they've got a vibe, you know? anyway, this is my first attempt at a darker bucky, so i hope you enjoy!

Bucky Barnes Masterlist | AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

this is your fault. it’s all your fault.

you know better, or at least, you should have known better.

what else could you expect from a man like him? a man robbed of his humanity for so long. a man so close to ferality. that's who he is in all matters of you, a man more beast than human, no better than an animal when it came to you.

that’s how you should’ve treated him. as a beast. prowling back and forth in their confinement. poised to devour any unlucky soul that got too close. so long as he was caged, you were safe.

you didn’t though. you didn’t treat him like the beast he became the moment he saw you.

maybe in another life, he could've loved you in a normal, sane way. in another life, he could give you the sweetness you deserved. in a life where he wasn't so twisted and tormented, he would have done just that. the flowers. the chocolates. the romance.

but this is love, he tells himself.

this raw, deranged, twisted, obsession.

this is his love.

he loves you.

he swears he does.

in this life, this is the only way he can show you just how much he loves you. just how far he's wiling to go to love you.

something happened to him the moment he set his sights on you. perhaps something broke. perhaps something mended. but maybe this was always who he'd been. all he knows is that heaven is not fit to house the love he has for you.

it didn't matter. the moment he set his sights upon you, you were doomed.

he wanted to scream, to bellow a warning to stay as far away from him as possible.

he stayed silent during that first meeting. his jaw tense, spine straight as an arrow, fists clenched so tight he was sure there would be indents in the metal of his vibranium palm.

"it was nice to meet you, sergeant barnes." you made a point to place yourself in his line of sight, forcing him to look at you in those bright, wide eyes. "i look forward to working with you."

that was your first mistake. he had the strength to stay away. to resist the feeling creeping up his spine. but you just kept rattling his cage. calling out to him with your siren song.

"bucky," you rest your hand on his shoulder. you're trying to soothe him. you don't realize it's a kindness neither you nor him could afford. "it's alright."

he stiffens, that's the first time you've ever touched him. it's the first time he's ever heard his name fall from your lips. not sergeant, not sir, but his name.

his chest heaves, rising and falling as he tries to control himself. you think it's just the adrenaline of the mission. you don't have any idea how overwhelmed he is by your presence.

it's your own kindness that was your undoing, that was his unraveling. years of discipline, years of training, years of strength gone with a touch.

if he didn't love you so much, he'd hate you.

from that moment on, it all spiraled. he spiraled.

he wasn't a patient man, not by any stretch of the imagination. but for you, he'd wait. for you, he'd bide his time.

first, he watches. he watches and look for ways to insert himself into your life. it was almost too easy. for a shield agent, you were careless. doors unlocked. blissfully unaware of your surroundings on long, morning runs. you barely realized how he'd slithered his way onto your missions.

it helped you were vying for his approval, for his adoration. you didn't know that you had it from the moment he saw you. he started slow. inserting himself into your daily routine. a simple good morning. a good night. passing by you in the corridor, always offering a quick grin. he listened to you. to your ideas. your wants. your little anecdotes.

soon, you were close enough to invite him into your apartment. if only you knew that he'd seen it before.

"bucky, we're friends, right?"

he gritted his teeth. friends. no. you weren't friends. you were the love of his life. you were everything he had ever wanted, everything he would ever want. you were the center of his universe. he couldn't tell you that. not yet. "yeah. why do you ask?"

"i just wanted your opinion on this guy."

"a guy?" his voice is so clipped, so gruff, he's shocked you can't hear his teeth grinding together. his fists clench. can't you feel the rage rolling off of him?

"yeah, this agent," you sigh. "he keeps asking me out. i keep trying to let him down easy, but he's not taking the hint."

"oh."

your eyebrows furrow. he almost smiles to himself. you're so aware of him, of what he does or doesn't do. you're worried you upset him. you're worried you shouldn't have told him. he likes that you're this concerned about what he thinks. "should i - i'm sorry i shouldn't have said that to you."

he places his hand on your thigh, giving it a light squeeze. "no, i'm glad you told me."

it was too easy for him to swipe your phone when you weren't looking. too easy for him to find out which agent dared to try to take you from him.

and it was even easier to get the agent paired with bucky on a field mission. just the two of them. overseas in an unfamiliar country. there were just so many things that could go wrong.

he was respected in the avenger's compound. and in this moment, he's glad he put in the work to earn that respect. he didn't think they'd respect him so much if they knew how easy it was for him to sabotage that agent. he couldn't kill the guy, but if a gun shot to the leg wasn't enough of a warning, there were other ways to get him off your back.

all of this was your fault. you opened the cage, whether you knew it or not. you pushed him to this. you showed him the warmth of your doorways.

you could've left him alone. left him to the land. left him to the cold that he knows from the depth of his bones. you should never have let him taste your warmth. you shouldn't have uttered a single word to him, not when he's sat in silence for so long, not when the sound of your honey sweet voice in enough to feed his hungry soul.

you can't show warmth to someone stone cold.

you can't feed someone starved for decades.

you can't show mercy to someone used to the harsh, unyielding world.

you should never have let him in unless you planned on keeping him.

or he'll come back.

"bucky," you pant, running to bucky's room after hearing about his disastrous mission. "i heard - i heard things went wrong on that mission. i thought you were -"

"i'm okay. don't worry." he tries to bite back the smile at the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. you were worried about him.

your words come out in short bursts. "i just - the guy - he's the one i told you about - i heard he was shot - and - and that you were on the mission with him-"

"that was the guy who wouldn't leave you alone?" there's an intentional lilt to his voice. of course he knew. but he didn't want to give away just how much he knew. you weren't ready for that. "he's okay, if that's what you're worried about."

"i was worried about you." your eyes lift to his, shining with tears, with admiration. you were so close to putting the final nail in your coffin. "i was so worried about you."

he should tell you to run. the lion should never live with the lamb. if only you'd left him to the land.

"i'm okay. i promise."

run, he silently warns you.

run.

run.

"i just- " your frantic eyes find his again. you don't say another word. you lunge forward, planting your warm hand on the side of his face. your lips meet his in a frenzy.

too late.

it was far, far too late. it was too easy for him to become addicted to your presence. how easy you are for him to need. how easy you are for him to crave.

he'll always come back for more. he'll never be satisfied. he lived deprived for so long.

you should've know the reason they locked him away and threw away the key. he's a greedy beast.

and he's decided, he can't live with a taste. not anymore.

"i just want to talk to you," the agent pleads with you. he follows you down the hallway, still limping on his leg after that gun shot. "just hear me out."

"look," you sigh, stopping for a moment out of pity. "i'm sorry you got hurt, but i've already told you, i'm not interested."

"you're not interested in me, but you're interested in the maniac that had me shot?"

your eyes widen at the accusation. "you're lying. and don't - don't talk about bucky like that."

"i just thought you should know what kind of man you're falling into bed with."

"you're just jealous." you're about to turn on your heels when he grips your bicep forcing you back around. he squeezes tightly, forcing you to stay in place. you look down at the white knuckled grip, "you're hurting me."

"he told me that i should be more careful next time. that next time it wouldn't be in the leg. you should ask him about it."

you wrench your arm from his hold. "stay away the hell from me."

you felt guilty about your reaction. even guiltier when he turned up dead just days later. the details of that assignment were so fuzzy. even an entire investigation turned up nothing.

"i can't believe he's gone," you softly cry into bucky's shoulder. "we were friends for so long, you know?"

"i'm so sorry, that can't be easy for you," bucky coos at you.

"i don't what happened. he was acting so strange the last few months and then we got into that fight. i said terrible things to him."

"you got into a fight?"

"he said some things. about you. about us."

"about me?"

"yeah." you nod, tears still stinging your eyes, but offering no other details of that argument. you didn't want to upset bucky with those strange accusations. "these last few months, he was like a different person. he wasn't the friend i knew. i'm sorry, i know i'm rambling at you. i just - i don't know how to feel."

"you don't have to be sorry," bucky promises, he strokes your back up and down, following the curve of your spine. "i understand."

"thank you." you tuck your head into the crook of his neck. "you're being so sweet to me."

"i would do anything for you."

you're not sure what it is. the inflection of his voice. the way the words fall from his lips without pause. or the intensity with which they ring in your ears. you freeze, peeling yourself out of his embrace. your heart hammers against your chest, the blood pumping faster and faster.

you look up and, for the first time, you get a glimpse of it. those blue eyes are almost unrecognizable. that vibrant blue is gone, replaced by something much darker. almost lupine. feral.

it was the first time you ever flinched away from him. you stumbled back, afraid of him.

if you didn't know better then, you certainly did now.

but it's too late for you. he's supposed to unlearn the warmth of your skin, the taste of your lips? he's supposed to let you go? just like that?

no. not a chance in hell.

he doesn't know why you can't see it. can't you see that blood that stained his hand was for you? that agent will never lay another hand on you. you'll never wince under his grip again. he'll never plant seeds of doubt in your head ever again. you're safe. here. in his arms.

you sent him away that night. but he doesn't care. it doesn't matter. he'll always find his way back to you.

he'll always come back.

can’t you hear him just outside your door?

Bucky Barnes Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

a.n. this is my first attempt at writing a yandere fic, so let me know what you think! reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams @shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes@beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a@weallhaveadestiny@mostlymarvelgirl @honeydew3064@michealharrypotter @mrs-bucky-barnes-73@withyoutilltheendoftheline@the-photo-hoe @rae-nna@sarachabeans1

[gotham-daydreams]

For your Not [] I was wondering how would Alfred and Y/n's relationship post kidnapped will go? Down the drain? Sure, they may have some reprieve from the rest of the family with Alfred, but would they resent Alfred for causing them to come back to the manor? After gathering the clues it was Alfred that pushed them to find you.

Also would Y/n have eventually gotten back into contact with Alfred after taking their much needed break away from the family, to help figure out and find themselves?

Well, that's the thing, I suppose!

I have thought about their relationship post kidnapping, and honestly I don't even know if the reader will ever logically know the extent of what Alfred has done to ensure that they stay in the position they're in. Especially, well, considering how I plan for Chapter 4 to go.

Of course at some point they'll definitely be able to deduce that he did something- they'll be able to tell from the things some of the Batfam says and just generally how Alfred acts, even if said things they catch with Alfred aren't all as they seem. But if they'll know the full extent of it? How much he played a part in what happened? In what ends up happening? Maybe not, not everything but maybe enough to be afraid. To get a peak into the ruin and shitty mess that is their life, and the true extent of that ruin. But a glance is only a glance, y'know?

I guess that's the scary thing - for me personally, anyways - that they won't know right away. That even when it happens they'll have no idea, and for those moments where they remain ignorant, unaware, and blind- Alfred is their saving grace. The only sane person amongst the endless sea of madness and derange that is the Batfam. The only person that seems to under their side, that not only comforts them but someone they actually feel comfortable and safe with. Alfred is the only one they trust, and... well, I rather not spoil how he feels about that.

Though, for the reader- from the little they put together and the little they know, its heartbreaking all the same. They don’t want to accept it- who would? The only person after being stripping and taken from their life- is just as insane as the rest? The only person they felt like they could confide in? That they could trust? That they could allow themselves to be vulnerable with when the others were away? That person is just as insane? Just as cunning and- and tricked them too?

It ruins them, and even if I won't say much else as it will be shown when I have it written- I think what I've said here is a good enough image of how badly things get from there once the reader even gets an idea of what Alfred may have potentially done. Though even if they did reach out now, they would probably still hold the whole "everything is fine" attitude they've got going on, and just try to talk to him normally- if not then at least passively mention how the family is sort of being weird and giving you a hard time (will that cause him to stop them? Not at all, but maybe things could've turned out differently. Which may be a recurring thing?? Well- it sort of already is but yk!)

As for the reader reaching out- I think I mentioned this in an previous (albeit older) post a bit in passing, but the reader has technically been in touch with Alfred! Just... not in a way he prefers. They are technically communicating with him, but it's very one sided (which is by design) and... well, may or may not be one of the reasons Alfred kick started this mess.

If this didn't answer your question then I apologize! Feel free to send in another ask if you want, and I can clarify anything you have any questions about!

[olderthannetfic]

Tw discussion of what some people are labeling a rape scene (and is definitely violent sex)

In my fandom there's a character who comes off as sweet and angelic and virginal and deliberately plays up this reputation, but is actually, to put it very simply, super evil and sadistic (sexually and otherwise), for various reasons that are explored in-depth in canon. She's canonically outright introducing violent BDSM elements into her sex without her partners' consent and sometimes permanently marking them.

She's doing a sexpot operation against her enemy, and he figures out what she's really like before they get to the, well, sex part. However, he's actually into violent bratty women, so the knowledge of how double-faced she is makes him want to sleep with her more in the most toxic way possible. And she's also into HIM because he's not falling for it and she's never had this before, so she wants to fuck him into obedience.

They do end up having sex, she comes to him with the explicit purpose of having sex, gets him drunk, and at the beginning she's trying to stay in the role and going all, "Ohhh please be gentle 🥺🥺🥺 I've never done this before 🥺🥺🥺". But then he tells her to drop the act and she promptly does, and then they have a whole evening of fucked up violent sex where they're basically beating each other up as they're fucking.

These people exist in a world where standardized safe sane consensual BDSM practices are not a thing.

There's an enclave of the fandom clutching their pearls because they see this as rape (and consequently the guy as irredeemable). They see it as rape because she, in character, while they were both 100% aware that she was in character and also 100% aware that the other person was aware, told him to be gentle and he replied with "I'm not gonna".

Like, there's an argument to be made that her consent is questionable because she was hired by other people for the sex pot operation and would have had to have sex with him even if she didn't want to, but nobody's pointing out that part or even thinking about it, apparently (and she obviously wanted to anyway).

The problem is that she said pwease no uwu :3 and he said I'm not gonna be gentle babygirl before they both had an evening of fun (during which she had enough agency to carve her brand into his chest btw).

Am I insane? Am I the only one who thinks this is nowhere near rape since they're both obviously into it?

Am I silly for getting angry with people who obviously invented a guy to get mad at because their personal issues are making them interpret everything in the same possible light?

--

[jinnxedy]

gf Jill

I barely see any Jill content, so why not. I love this woman so much, you don't get it. Anyway, here are some headcannons :)

⭑ She loves when you're gentle with her. Soft touches and caresses are definitely her thing.

⭑ Overprotective lover. Not in a toxic way, she's just extra careful with you, Jill would hate to lose you.

⭑ You're her safe place, she's not afraid to open up or lean on you.

⭑ The only person that's allowed to touch her hair is you, no questions asked.

⭑ Speaking of hair, Jill lets you dye and cut it whenever she feels like it.

⭑ Loves when you play with her hair at night, especially after a really bad nightmare.

⭑ The feeling of your fingers running through her hair puts her to sleep in a matter of seconds.

⭑ This girl trusts you more than anything.

⭑ You're her top priority, nothing comes before you.

⭑ Would match jewelry with you, like bracelets or something, that would be so cute actually.

⭑ Loves kissing you, but it would be more of a private matter.

⭑ She's not big on PDA, but some handholding, a hand on your back or back pocket would be enough for her. She just needs some reassurance that you're still there without making it too extra.

⭑ Neck kisses are her favorite. Loves receiving them, but she adores giving them to you.

⭑ Jill is scared of hurting you in any way, so always expect soft and tender touches from her side.

⭑ She's more of a dog person. If i'm not mistaken, Jill had dog pictures laying around in her apartment in re3, so I could say with certain confidence that you two would own a dog or two.

⭑ I feel that it would be so cute if you two did your skincare together and everything.

⭑ She would appreciate the times you two just sit together in silence and enjoy your presence, it's so precious to her.

I need her, I'm not sane.

[thesharktanksdriver]

I love everything determination lol it’s the highlight of my day so I have 3 questions!

1: do other Charlottes like Oven or Pudding know us or is it only Katakuri?

2: is the world government activity looking for us and do we know any CP agents?

3: how do the beast pirates treat people who have met us like X-Drake?

I hope you have an amazing day/night and can’t wait for more updates!!!

Awwww thank you so much! I’m glad it lightens so many people day! :D

1) id say all the Charlotte’s know if y/n in some comparability due to both Katakuri and Linlin herself (though these two are the only ones that had met y/n in person.). I imagine Linlin in her more sane moments (however few there may be) she’d occasionally talked about her childhood friend that had “suddenly” disappeared on her birthday. It would be kinda a known thing between all the charlottes that their mom sometimes calms down from her rages when she’s reminded of them or their brought up, along with the fact she gets actually sad about the topic. Meanwhile the whole friendship with Katakuri and a random kid is definitely one that the other siblings take more notice of. Some are more upset about it since how can this kid be good enough for Katakuri while others like Brûlée would be genuinely happy that Kata made a friend.

The siblings nor Kata have connected the dots yet (though to be fair how could they? The friend of their mom would be well into adulthood). But big mom herself has her suspicions, for as crazy as she is she’s also observant enough to notice how Kaido had a somewhat similar friend along with rumours of the sea.

Is it a stretch to everyone but her (yes) but unfortunately for everyone else her delusions are actually correct this time lol.

(She’s sooo gonna rub that in Kaido’s face lol)

2) ohhhhhhh yeah the world government is definitely looking for y/n. They’ve been looking for years for y/n but unfortunately for them pirates don’t narc, no one expects y/n to be a literal child and they don’t have a picture of y/n because of their devil fruit bullshitery.

Several dispatches of CP9 agents have been looking for years now with little traction in their searches. Not knowing they’ve walked past y/n in crowds several times over the years.

But this makes it even more funny when y/n eventually ends up in water 7 and meets Rob Lucci and the gang.

Fuck, the warlords are supposed to help find y/n too but almost all of them have a personal connection to y/n that won’t make them narc lol. And even if they didn’t or don’t have a personal connection, none of them would turn y/n in on the basis of their usefulness. Their paid pirates connections won’t narc and then some of their own navy are the same too, Garp for sure would definitely cover for y/n as would Koby and maybe even Fujitora (add an even bigger maybe with Kuzan too).

Y/n for several years has been under their noses without them knowing much to the frustration of the world government and especially the five elders.

3) oh god do the beast pirates be petty to poor X Drake.

This poor man is just there to be undercover for a mission and when the other Tobiroppo and all stars realize he’s met y/n he’s being grilled for information. He’d think for a minute his cover was blown till Maria starts asking how her darling little messenger is and if they’re safe and if she needs to crush someone’s skull for hurting them- you get the picture.

They’re all asking him about that random kid he met in Sabaody who’s apparently on straw hats crew and became the central fighting point for 3 supernovas. If he was concerned for y/n then, he sure is fucking terrified now.

Cause how?!???

And more accurately why????

How the fuck is he supposed to answer Queen the plague when he’s asking if they signed a music deal with anyone other than him?, when king the motherfucking wildfire is glaring daggers at him from across the room and inquiring if they’re safe?, or how apparently Kaido is asking for information regarding them????????

The rest of his Tobiroppo aren’t making it better either. Black Maria is acting like she’s their mother and grilling him for every detail about if they looked healthy and well fed. Sasaki and Who’s-who team up against all odds to corner him, haggle him into drinking with them and then proceed to try and use that to make him spill the beans about whatever other information he has and who’s-who keeps bring up some weird shit about the stars (king did the same too for some fucking reason). Then there’s Ulti who keeps insisting that she’s their friend and that he has nothing on her as if being this random kid’s friend is a competition like pause what???

X Drake going through it with the interrogation he goes through along with some petty jabs about how he doesn’t know shit. The good thing about Drake though is that he has a moral compass, so when he does talk about y/n he doesn’t mention their with the straw hats and makes up a story that he met them briefly (technically not a lie).

Maybe for someone else he wouldn’t go through the effort but he’s genuinely cornered for y/n. Why are they looking for a literal child????? And moreso why does this child know literally everyone on the seas??????. The same kid who gushed over him being a dinosaur and politely asked if they could pet his scales is also friends with an emperor????

Huh?????

This man is so concerned, confused and stressed to the max.

[averyakuma]

Forgotten

Pairing: Muichiro Tokito X gn reader

Plot: You and Muichiro were the two youngest hashiras, which led to a relationship between you two. All was so well until something happened at his latest mission..

A/N: I didn’t mean to disappear on you guys, I finally got some motivation and ideas to write, hope you like the angst :]

You were sitting near the entrance of the butterfly estate, dipping your legs into the pond to clear your mind. You had so much going on at the moment, duties of being a hashira, training, and honestly your mental health. You were always mentally sane because of muichiro, he would always soothe you and help you calm down whenever you needed him. But he wasn’t here for you. He was on a mission.

It always freaked you out when he went on missions, he always reassured you that he would be okay and that he will try to return safely. You always thought of the worst, and all the bad things that could possibly happen to him. The worse thing is him losing his memory again. You remembered it was incredibly difficult to talk to him at first, but after regaining his memory, it was easy as pie.

His crow soared the sky, cawing that he has been badly hit on the head, and needs medical attention as soon as possible. Your eyes widened at this, immediately heading towards the butterfly estate. Shinobu and the girls who worked at the estate surrounded him, not leaving a single gap to look at him. You stood frozen at the headboard of the room, fiddling with your fingers. Aoi placed a hand on your shoulder, patting it.

“I’m sure he will be just fine, he just needs a little rest that’s all.” She reassured you. “I really hope so.”

Weeks had gone by, he was still recovering. You always tried to leave letters or trinkets for him on the table to the side, but none of them would let you visit him. It confused you, they all knew you and muichiro were a thing, and you were told he was awake, just resting his body.

One night, when everybody was at their own stations, you wanted to just give him a goodnight kiss on the forehead, as well as a heartfelt letter to show your gratitude and affection towards him. You hummed as you walked down the hallway, about to take the turn into his room, someone had placed their hand on your shoulder. It’s Tanjiro.

“Tanjiro? What are you doing here?..” you mumbled, trying to keep quiet. “Please don’t go in there.. I don’t suggest it..” Tanjiro saddened. Why is everybody stopping me from visiting him?.. You took a peak, your eyes widening.

“I think you’re the most prettiest girl ever Aoi..” Muichiro mumbled. He squeezed her hand as he kissed her knuckles. Aoi with flushed cheeks, replying, “Why thank you..”

“What?..” you covered your mouth, gasping, you look back to Tanjiro, immediately wanting to know what is happening. This has to be some joke right? Right?.. “I’m sorry you have to find out this way..” Tanjiro frowned. “Why didn’t anybody tell me?..” you start to tear up. Tanjiro took your hand and walked you outside, sitting you down.

“Nobody wanted you to be heartbroken, but we all knew you would’ve figured out sooner or later..” He mumbled as he patted your back. “But why didn’t nobody stop it! It’s not- it’s not!” You curled up, tears running down your eyes, like a waterfall. Tanjiro then turned to you, explaining that when Muichiro got hit, it on his head, making him lose his memory once more. He didn’t lose much, but he didn’t remember who was the special girl that he was dating, you.

Aoi was in charge of taking care of him, later on in the weeks muichiro had fell head over heels for her, giving her hints that he did. “Thats basically all of it..” he mumbled. You covered your face out of embarrassment, envy, anger, uncontrollable emotions that was definitely not joy. “He.. he promised me he would be my lover till the very end.. He was the one.. I really thought so..” you mourned harder. Tanjiro let you cry into his shoulder, patting your back. You remembered all the memories you had with him, when he confessed, when you both first said I love you to each other, every single little thing that shown affection to each other.

Flashback

“Muichiro I don’t know what to pick.. red bean or matcha..” you groaned as you looked at the stand of sweets. Muichiro chuckled and picked up one. “You should pick this one, it matches your eye color.” You had flushed cheeks, picking up a blue sweet. “Then.. you should pick this one.. to match your eyes” You grinned. You both bought the sweets and sat down on a hill, watching the fireworks.

“You know.. I’m pretty glad I choose this sweet.” Muichiro mumbled as he took a bite of it. “How come?” “Because it’s the color of the eyes of the most prettiest girl in the world.” He smiled, looking at you for a response. You blushed, smiling softly. “You have something on your chin.” You wiped it away, already closed to his face. He smiled, placing his hand over yours and squeezes it gently. He then leaned in and kissed you on the lips, eyes closed.

“I love you..”

“I love you too Muichiro..”

Back to present

After the encounter of the sight, you had gone quiet at all meetings with others. The other pillars knew you were distancing yourself from Muichiro, as all he thought about was his new girlfriend; Aoi. They allowed you distance yourself from him, talking to you to let you get away whenever Muichiro tried getting to know you or hang out, even master Kagaya knew.

“Do you think you will be alright without him?..” Mitsuri asked out of worry. “I.. I don’t know..” you mumbled looking at the awful sight of Muichiro and Aoi sharing their first kiss at the same hill you and him shared your first kiss, under the fireworks. “Is there anything we can do?..” Rengoku frowned. You turn to face away from the sappy scene, sighing.

“The worse thing about it is we’re still together. Even though he’s with her we haven’t officially called it off.. And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

———————————————————————

Taisho Secret!

Muichiro would always remind you that no matter what, if he ever forgotten about you and the whole relationship you shared, he will always love you no matter what.. even if he got with another girl.

“You can’t say that Muichiro!”

“You need to accept that if I do, and you need to move on from me if I date another girl.”

“…”

“I’ll still love you deep down in my heart, no matter what.”

Another Taisho Secret! (Spoilers!)

When Muichiro was on the verge of death after Kokushibo was defeated, he suddenly remembered the relationship he shared with you before Aoi. He cried endlessly until his last breathe, mumbling these words.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break your heart.. I still love you..”

Only gyomei was the one who paid attention to what he said, knowing who he was referring too, then covering his eyes.

———————————————————————

I Lowkey was not intending to write today, it just popped up inside of my head, lol. Hope you enjoyed reading, and let me know if you want a Part Two to this! I can’t guarantee I’ll write more but I’ll try. :]

(Was not crying while writing this definitely not)

[talon-dragonbeast]

Hi! I’m having questions that I’m not sure where to find the resources about safely, I hope it is okay i sent them here instead.

What is the difference between a transspecies and physical nonhuman and a clinical lycanthrope?

I know what they all are (vaguely, at least) but i am confused where the overlap ends (i know there are overlaps still, but i am confused where it ‘seems’ to end)

I’m really sorry if this ask is rude, i did not intend it to be.

excellent question! and dont worry, not rude at all, the terms are very similar after all :D

transspecies

transspecies is an opt-in label that some nonhumans choose to use for themselves, so its definition may vary among its users. some use transspecies to describe their experiences as transgender nonhumans, some use it because they intend to transition (usually through clothing, gear, jewelry, tattoos, piercings, and other species-affirming methods), some choose to use it to spite people who try to dilute our experiences to make them more acceptable to others, some use it as a political statement, some use it because they are physical nonhumans... I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

from what ive observed, transspecies folks seem to share some common experiences, such as species dysphoria (or its positive counterpart, species euphoria), the intention to socially or physically transition to their desired species, and a certain attitude towards their nonhumanity ("cringe culture is dead", "i will not water myself down for your convenience", "i will be myself even if it makes you uncomfortable", etc).

there exists a misunderstanding among some alterhumans that the transspecies label was originally created by the radqueer community (for those who don't know, radqueer is a label for those who are radically inclusive of all identities, regardless of the potential harm they may cause, including pedophilia and zoophilia, transracial people and abusive relationships), but rest assured that this is not the case. there are records of the term transspecies since 1997, before the radqueer label was even created. some transspecies folks might also identify as radqueer, but definitely not all and this is not inherent to the label.

physical nonhumans

what it says on the tin. a physical nonhuman is a nonhuman who identifies their own physical body as that of their 'type. there are many reasons why someone may identify as a physical nonhuman, some believe their DNA is not human, some may say they use a veil or other similar abilities to hide their true form from humans, some experience delusions related to their physical body, some follow the reasoning of "i am nonhuman, this is my body, therefore this is a nonhuman body", and some are that way just because! no one reason is more valid than another, and some physical nonhumans dont even have a reason for being the way they are; they just are.

clinical lycanthropes

also called clinical zoanthropes, they are beings who believe they are experiencing or have experienced physical transformations to the body of an animal, often due to mental health conditions such as delusions or hallucinations. for example, a clinical cynanthrope may experience transformations to the body of a dog, and may or may not act accordingly to their physical body.

clinical zoanthropes are a very misunderstood part of our community, and should be treated with the care and respect they deserve. they are not crazy, they are not dangerous, and they are as much a part of the alterhuman community as "sane" folks. it is terrible that i even have to clarify this, but i have seen too many alterhumans deny that CZs are part of our community in favor of the more "acceptable" identities, so unfortunately this is necessary.

conclusion

so, to actually answer your question, while there is certainly some overlap between these three communities, they are definitely not the same.

from what ive seen, there are many transspecies folks who are also physically nonhuman, and vice versa. some clinical zoanthropes use the physical nonhuman label for themselves, but it seems that most describe themselves as simply their species. most CZs dont use the transspecies label, because they already perceive their body as nonhuman, although some do wish to socially transition. both physical nonhumans and CZs may have their origins in delusions or hallucinations (though definitely not all, especially on the p-nonhuman side), but i dont think ive seen any transspecies users claiming that their label stems from that; i could be wrong though. and finally, i think CZs maintain a certain degree of separation from the therian/otherkin communities, mainly because they dont relate to a lot of our experiences and also because of the constant attacks they tend to receive from closed-minded beings. thats a problem that definitely needs solving, as i think were stronger together than we are on our own; but thats a post for another day.

i hope my answer satisfied you anon, but feel free to ask more questions if it didnt! and for those of you reading this, feel free to correct me if i said something wrong! im not part of any of these communities, so take everything i say with a grain of salt. have a nice day! :}

[atelierlili]

What's your headcanon for Katniss and Peeta's children?

How old was Katniss when give birth to their daughter?

How many years apart between them in age?

Your headcanon for their name?

Who gets the singing and art skill from their parent?

Bonus question : please give recs of your fav everlark post-Mockingjay fanfic.

Thank you :)

@curiousthg

You’ve made a grave mistake because I have so much to say and some art as well(becuase I’m so sane for them I swear)

So I’ve always headcannon that Katniss had her first baby in her late twenties-early thirties. In my head the 5, 10, 15 years go like this. Year 5: Katniss is open to the idea of children now. The games are done, but is Panem really safe yet? Is she ready yet. No, not really. Year 10: okay, Katniss feels safer and braver now. If it happens it happens. They won’t actively try for it and will let nature take its course. Year 15: Toast boy and girl are born within a 5-ish year time span.

Katniss names the girl Marigold for the golden flowers that Peeta planted next Katniss’ Primroses. Marigolds represent warmth, creativity, joy and good luck, but they were also given away during times of grief as a gesture of kindness and solidarity as the flower’s vibrant colours helped ease the pain of grief. Gold is also the colour that represents the bond between the district 12 team that comprised of Peeta, Katniss, Effie, Haymitch, Portia & Cinna. So it’s also carries some sentimental weight as without them and their bonds, this little girl wouldn’t have been born. Of course, Peeta calls the girl Muffin. Because she’s his little muffin. His little cupcake. It’s not until Effie decides that Mary is too bland a nickname for her favorite niece that we get the girl’s most used nickname- Muffy.

Muffy is a bundle of joy to their lives. And Katniss loves being a mother more than she’d thought. Having Muffy made Katniss yearn for the mini Peeta she dreamt of on a beach in the QQ.

Toastboy pops out about three and a half years later. The age gap is so close to be about the same as Katniss and Prim’s that it makes her heart squeeze again. His name is Cress, after Watercress (wait plz don’t leave), the aquatic plant that can be found in bunches at Katniss’ special lake. They are a highly nutritious plant to eat and is said to believe to have medicinal uses like treating swelling and fevers. The name is also a small nod to Annie Cresta and Finnick because of the water connection. His curly blonde hair gets him the nickname Goldilocks from Johanna.

Both children are highly artistic and connected to nature, Katniss teaches them both to hunt, but the kiddos don’t like it as much because they don’t like to hurt animals. It hurts Katniss a little bit, but she’s glad that bloodshed and violence (even to survive) aren’t a daily part of their lives.

Muffy is a performer. She’s definitely daddy’s little girl because she loves to yap. She could yap all day and still find something to talk about. She grows up loving to dance and then wanting to sing and dance- the dreams of making it big in the Capitol as a actress. (To Katniss’ complete and under horror) She’ll definitely develope some complex when it comes to being the Mockingjay’s daughter. Especially when she starts getting movie offers to play her Mom, even when after she tries going out of her way to distance herself from Katniss by going under a different stage name.

Cress is very much not Muffy. He’s a quiet little guy who follows after his big sister like a little duckling. He’s the only one who doesn’t get tired of her yapping and genuinely listens to her. Peeta and Katniss were a little worried when they started noticing that he wasn’t speaking for a while. They go to doctors and they can never find what’s causing this speech delay, but one day he starts talking at the age of 2, and he has the softest most sweetest voice in the world. He’s a very quiet and observant kid, that gets into more trouble than you’d think. While Peeta’s art is very imagery and emotionally (and politically) focused, Cress’s art is not. He’s super talented with a pencil and really skilled at realistic/technical drawings that he’d probably go an illustrate diagrams for scientific textbooks on nature and stuff. Growing up, he probably feels like his art work is too cold and unfeeling compared to Peeta’s splash of life. But in reality, the difference between they art styles are indicative of how they see and filter the world through their art.

Anyway, this is taking waaay to long so here is some early concept art of the toast babies. I’m still messing around with the tones and hues of their design, so none of this is final. I’m probs gonna switch Cress’s skin tone to a more golden undertone as opposed to Katniss’s reddish one to match his hair color, which might get a tad darker (or lighter tbh. In the books Peeta’s an ashy blonde) Meanwhile maybe I’ll give Muffy the redder undertone? There’s something off bout her that I need to keep experimenting with. She screams Movie Katniss baby, not Book Katniss Baby, but maybe that’s only because Jen has blue eyes.

[anundyingfidelity]

I'M A RUIN — Soldier Boy/Ben (Part V)

Series summary: After the events of the Seven Tower, you present Grace Mallory a new secret project you're working on already to develop a cure to Compound V. The only problem? You need Soldier Boy for that.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female reader.

Word count: 2.4k.

Warnings for series: set after S3 (spoilers), some OOC!Ben, some depressed!Ben, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, slow-burn, language, PTSD, reader has Compound V (she's no Vought supe tho), Soldier Boy being an usual asshole, reader is a fucking liar.

Warnings on this chapter: some misogyny and shit (you know who), psychiatry stuff, canon gore, blood, heads exploding, and violence?.

Notes: so I'm sorry for any mistakes during the psychyatric process, I go to therapy and take medication myself so that's all I know plus google research. And be aware of the gore descriptions, I tried to do my best I guess lol. Thanks for reading as always!

this fic tags: @k-slla @syrma-sensei @mostlymarvelgirl @cheynovak @drasticemotions @soldirboy @deans-spinster-witch

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

get yourself in the taglist!

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | | Part VIII

GEN MASTERLIST! — SERIES MASTERLIST!

Part V: Blow Your Mind

With a deep breath, you reviewed the symptoms Soldier Boy barely 'gave' during your session. The list was kind of long on the pages and it read:

Always being on guard for any danger, self-destructive behavior, irritability, angry outbursts, panic attacks, feeling emotionally numb, not trusting anyone, not feeling safe, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, fatigue, muscle tension, headaches, back pain...

There was a weird silence surrounding both of you, mostly because of his mood and his change in demeanor from a somewhat friendly asshole to an irritated, unbearable jerk. Once you had started with the uncomfortably stupid questions, he felt threatened. Soldier Boy wasn't actually open to talk about his past and the traumatic experiences he had, and that meant it was difficult to get to know how his body and mind were reacting to all the stress and madness he went through in decades, adding those weeks after Billy Butcher had released him from his nightmare.

He was opposed to speaking directly about how he was feeling, but you knew better that Ben speaking out on his symptoms was not going to happen. So you had to ask each one of them and review some his most harsh experiences directly, in order to receive monotonous responses, limited to: 'yes', 'no', 'I don't know,' and finally 'what the fuck is that?' You took them all as an absolute yes.

He was being defensive and you knew better than to miss anything after he almost burned the whole damn building. And with the small but confident experience you had with psychiatry, you concluded that he needed medication and therapy. As soon as fucking possible.

"Yeah, you have PTSD," you said after a moment and your eyes found his unreadable gaze.

He raised his eyebrows with false surprise. He already heard that shit from Hughie before. "And where's the fucking drugs?"

"For that to happen, you have to stop the weed first."

"I've survived bricks of coke mixed with shit you probably don't know about and you want to take the only thing that's keeping me sane? Fan-fucking-tastic!" he fumed, but you didn't flinch. Not a bit.

"Look, my goal is keeping you safe and making you sane because you definitely are not. Not right now. And since I took you out, you'll follow my process, so stop whining."

He chuckled softly with a bitter grimace on his lips as he shook his head softly. "No, that's not gonna happen."

"I don't care if you agree with that, it's settled," you continued, a triumphant smile plastered on your face.

It was true, you didn't give a single shit. He had to be clean and quit any type of drugs to start the medication but most importantly, to use his blood. Eventually. You were more than aware that he wouldn't die easily, that was proved. And it was just a matter of time to get him to your lab to take samples of his blood and run the necessary research on them while you and your team still continued the studies with the Anti-V prototype. You were only hoping that day would arrive soon enough. Two months sober, that was all you needed from him. And the best part? Soldier Boy didn't have to really know the whole details.

Ben, on the other hand, clenched his jaw so tight and closed his eyes for a moment after hearing your statement. You really were a fucking bitch, letting him fall into the abyss of misery and torture that was his own wrecked mind. He considered your intentions internally, once again for the millionth time. You showed up there all dressed up, playing a rich doctor when in reality you were just a fucking slutty brat, just to tell him he had to stop his usual pot, which you also brought happily when he asked you to. And now, you were taking away the only thing that stopped him from ripping your head off. What a great move.

"That's not smart," he insisted.

"Why not? I have you under my own terms."

Ben tilted his head, studying you carefully. "You can't stop me, doll. None of you can. I'm only here because I find it suitable instead of storming out and catching unnecessary attention."

Ben saw you swallow down, he immediately knew it was because you were angry, not scared. You never really seemed scared of him. And you tried to restrain yourself from slapping him right away. "Are you blackmailing me again, Soldier Boy?"

"Is just a warning," he said, nonchalantly. "Wouldn't want to harm such a pretty thing like you, now wouldn't we."

"Oh well, just a reminder I can also turn on the damn gas if needed," you snapped. The arrogant smirk on his lips fell off and it was your turn to smile back. "We all have hidden cards, right?"

Such an arrogant bitch, he thought.

"So, what's your plan?" you switched the subject to avoid going further into what was troubling him.

"What do you mean?"

"Homelander. You want him dead, don't you? You must be getting ready to fight again..."

His body seemed tense once you pushed him to talk, looking away from you to calm a bit. "Isn't that what all of you want?"

"Any sane person would love that, trust me."

Soldier Boy narrowed his eyes. "Well, I can do it. If I wasn't here... You've seen what he's capable of. Jesus, I've seen it," he bitterly chuckled. "And the kid? He's a fucking menace."

"You've been watching the news, I take that—"

"The fuck I do! Wasn't gonna wait for you to keep me up to date of what the fuck is going on!" Ben shouted, his loud voice roaring in your ears despite the distance.

"I don't want you to stress out more than you do," you said, vacillating. "A lot of things take time, such as you adapting to the twenty-first century."

"I'd love to know when that'll happen," Ben insisted. "Or else, I might just break out."

With a tentative smile, you started to write down the report. "I'm so glad you're talking more during our sessions."

You barely said goodbye to Soldier Boy once you finished your daily session. Your head was aching as you walked down the aisle, barely leaving the empty wing of the building behind. Certainly he was hard to handle and was behaving defensively. Before you left he began asking, or better said, bossing you to get him whatever the kid Hughie told him he needed to learn how to use. Shit like the internet and GPS, he said. You told him he was not ready for it yet.

But you'd give him a golden star for trying and insisting so badly, even if he was against eighty percent of your methods. He was up to something, there was no question for that. He was a soldier, more or less like his given supe name. People like him always had a plan, and underneath his facade, there were more plans backed up with words of honor that you had to track sooner or later.

As you made your way to your office, greeting your lab employees and guards, a disturbing sensation grew up inside. Before crossing the doorframe you subtly looked around, focusing for some reason in the security camera, more time than you'd like to admit. You turned again to finally get inside, facing the entry of your office when hurried steps and a voice stopped you from doing so.

"Doctor!"

Once again you turned on your heels to see your assistant, tablet in hand. Those had to be the results.

"Hey," you began. "You have everything?"

Bianca nodded with a straight face and handed you the tablet. You noticed her tight grip and her somehow trembling fingers when you took the device from her hands. You eyed her a little, she remained with her hands intertwined in front of her, her attention seemed lost. With caution, you continued to check the file.

"Is the patient alright?" you asked, reading the profile of the supe who had the not so good luck of being tested previously.

Solaris was his supe name. And he had the ability to manipulate light and matter with his mind. He had taken part in the program for a month now and this was his first test. As always, each supe you had into the program was low-profile. You were thankful of your team keeping these supes under their gaze to offer them some sort of solution, even after all the deaths you tracked from time to time when a test of the Anti-V was run. More than a solution for them, it was a partial contribution to find it.

You quickly scanned the updated file that Bianca completed for you. He was doing better than projected, his powers were still gone with a forecast of probably coming back within a couple of hours. A deep breath left your lips. Now that was an improvement. It was the first time anything like that happened on any tests. The supe survived, he was weak but the powers were off for a bit. It was a small step closer to your goal. Just a little bit more maybe and it could be done, finally...

"He's resting right now," Bianca interrupted your thoughts. Your eyes were back on her face.

"This is great news, thank you. I trust he's doing okay."

She nodded. "He is."

"Great, I guess I'll see him in a couple of hours," you said about entering your office.

"Wait!" Bianca suddenly closed the little space between both of you. She breathed heavily before stuttering words out. "I, I have- I'm sorry..."

"Are you okay?" you inquired, knowing her behavior was unusual. She swallowed down, turning her gaze away, her hands shaking. Was she sick? "Bianca, what's wrong?"

You tried to reach her cheek with your hand, but she stepped back abruptly, looking at you like if you were a ghost with her eyes red and wet, and a fine layer of sweat adorning her skin.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

You walked towards her, worried about what was going on but every step you took, she also gave it back.

"Bianca, what's happening?"

Her back bumped the wall of your office, and finally, she started to cry. "I'm sorry. You have to go, please..."

Your heart started pounding heavily on your chest. "What—"

"Go now! Please... Please don't hurt me..."

"I'm not going to hurt you, Bianca," you whispered, trying to comfort her.

But she continued crying and mumbled incoherent words with eyes shut, while hot tears streamed down her face. She choked on her sobs as she pleaded for her life. But you didn't understand why. You tried to soothe her, reaching her shoulder with your free hand.

And when you placed your palm on her, everything became red. It all happened in seconds. Ropes of warm blood covered your face in an instant. A loud gasp fell from your throat. You felt every drop mixed with brains on the skin of your face, on your neck, and sliding down the skin under your blouse. It was shocking and equally disgusting. And your eyes remained shut, not brave enough to move or see the horrid picture in front of you.

Your palm was still on her shoulder when the remains of her body fell to the ground with a thud. Your trembling hand wiped some blood from your face to open your eyes anew. The wall was painted with her, as much as you were, and it left a trail of blood from where her corpse slid to the floor. Her head long fucking gone.

"Shit."

Shit. Fucking shit. Was it him? It had to be him. There was no reason to doubt it. It was him. And he complied with his promise. Had Homelander been controlling Bianca? Was she the only one? No. There had to be something more. Homelander wasn't easy and he wasn't merciful with anyone. You had to stop him and get Soldier Boy out of the building. Now.

You tried to control yourself as best as you could, walking away to reach anyone, crossing a corner on the hallway, where a guard was casually passing by.

He stopped on his tracks at your sight, covered in blood and meat. "Doctor?"

"I need your help," you whispered.

He nodded quickly and you began explaining with a low, shaky voice.

"I don't know what happened, my assistant was right there with me when— Fuck!"

You walked some inches away when his head exploded, just like Bianca's did. Luckily, or not, this time was inside his helmet. All the red brains and blood were catched by it. Still, you wanted to throw up right fucking there. The remains of his body fell to the floor with a loud sound.

With a deep breath you continued your way, finding guards, lab assistants and agents. If they were alive, their heads popped into your sight. And if it was your somehow lucky moment of the day, you just found their headless corpses lying on the ground, creating a pool of blood you tried to avoid.

The only thing on your mind was taking Ben out of the building. The alarm had been turned on and the annoying sound of it was driving you crazy. Your head ached more than ever as you made your way to Soldier Boy for the second fucking time during the day.

Since there was no time to open the heavy door properly, you used a force field around the metal, moving the door until it slipped enough to let you in. You found him standing in the middle of the room. Eyes dark and alert, with fists and frame ready to fight. He wrinkled his nose once you entered the place.

"What the fuck's going on?" Ben growled, observing your blood covered face.

"We need to go, now. Take your clothes off."

He blinked, taken aback. Before he answered you continued with an explanation.

"I'll turn you invisible, but can't turn your clothes," you ordered, looking in the closet for a sports bag you knew was inside and picking a couple of shirts, pants and boxers as quickly as time allowed you to. Once finished, you turned to Ben again.

"Mind to fucking clarify?" he insisted. You sighed, closing your eyes for a moment.

"Look, I'll tell you everything once we're out," you turned one of your hands invisible for him to see.

Ben snorted with laughter. How ironic, he thought.

"No fucking way."

"Strip. We're leaving."

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

what meaningful plenaration does "sane" add to "safe sane and consensual"? safe and consensual are both pretty intuitive as to what is and isn't and why they're important, but what is the aspect of this nebulous hypothetical insane sex (this would work better as a phrase if insane sex wasn't already a thing people said about good sex. much to think about) which is uniquely best to avoid but not already covered by safe or consensual?

i've been thinking about that one thing i saw a while ago about reevaluating ssc in the face of increased awareness of like, mad liberation and the ways that mentally disabled people are barred from sexual agency by ableism & the psych system and i genuinely can't come up with a reason why sane was in there in the first place

great question! let's talk about it!

but first: hey. what on earth does plenaration mean. I absolutely understand the question that you're asking but I don't know that word (unusual for me, if I may flex a little!) and google is giving me NOTHING.

anyway, moving on!

SSC was initially popularized by in 1983 by the New York group Gay Male S/M [Sadism/Masochism] Activists, and particularly activist David Stein. let's take a look at their full statement:

GMSMA is a not-for-profit organization of gay males in the New York City area who are seriously interested in safe, sane, and consensual S/M. Our purpose is to help create a more supportive S/M community for gay males, whether they desire a total lifestyle or an occasional adventure, whether they are just coming out into S/M or are long experienced. Our regular meetings and other activities attempt to build a sense of community by exploring common feelings and concerns. We aim to raise awareness about issues of safety and responsibility, to recover elements of our tradition, and to disseminate the best available medical and technical information about S/M practices. We seek to establish a recognized political presence in the wider gay community in order to combat the prevailing stereotypes and misconceptions about S/M while working with others for the common goals of gay liberation. (x)

GMSMA was founded three years prior in 1981, which is only important because that was also the year the first AIDS patients were identified. I don't know if you're familiar with a little thing called The AIDS Crisis, but suffice to say that during the 80s the public perception of gay male sexuality Was Not Good, particularly something double deviant like sex that was gay and also kinky. in a later essay reflecting on (and criticizing!) the mainstreaming of the term, Stein said he wanted to SSC framework to distinguish mutually consensual sadomasochism from "the criminally abusive or neurotically self-destructive behaviour popularly associated with the term 'sadomasochism'."

in other words: while I can't tell you everything that lay in the heart of David Stein when he first used the phrase, it's very clear that the GMSMA seemed invested in improving the public image of kink by separating it as much as possible from the notion that it was something only practiced by crazed degenerates - you know, something queer people have been forced to do for pretty much all queer sex throughout history? in the same 2000 essay linked above, Stein reflects on how many people took SSC as "a welcome validation for a type of sexuality still considered "sick" or "crazy" by much of our society."

is there still ableism baked into that narrative re: the notion that mental illness is a bad thing to be affiliated with? yeah, absolutely, and we'll get to that! spoilers: it's been a source of much criticism, which is why many people now prefer RACK over SSC. but give me a second to get there!

in the essay I've been pulling from, Stein freely admits that GMSMA never attempted to offer concrete definitions of SSC, particularly not the latter two: "We left "sane" and "consensual" much vaguer, "sane" because it's pretty vague to begin with once you get past the obvious meaning - able to distinguish fantasy from reality - and "consensual" because we didn't realize how tricky it is."

the idea of "sane" meaning a person is meaningfully able to distinguish fantasy from reality was echoed by Gil Kessler, a longtime kink educator and board member of GMSMA. rope enthusiast Tammad Rimilia defined it differently, saying that sane kink referred to a situation where "all parties are engaging in this activity by direct intention and can judge the effects of their actions." you can see that echoed in Stein's earlier statement about differentiating the kind of sex that GMSMA encouraged from "self-destructive behavior."

tl;dr, the "sane" is mostly there to specifically draw attention to the fact that some people engage in sex in ways that may be a form of self-harm and/or may want to engage in sex when they are experiencing reality in a way that prevents them from making rational, fully-informed choices, such as psychosis or manic episodes. per their own statement, it seems the GMSMA would discourage having sex with people in this category.

obviously that may already fall under the purview of safe and consensual, but show me an organization that's never gotten a little redundant in its mission statement and I'll eat my shirt.

now, back to that criticism! as Stein notes in the essay I've referenced heavily in this answer, understandings of safety, sanity, and consent have come a long way since 1983! the risk-aware consensual kink model (RACK) has gained popularity for many reasons, with much of the conversation centered on both the inherent ableism of SSC and concerns about the promise of "safe" and the unhelpful and unrealistic expectations it may set. hell, even notions of consent are constantly growing and evolving. and that's wonderful! SSC comes from a very specific time and place in the history of kink and may no longer be the pinnacle of best practices for everyone, but there's still plenty to be learned from its origins.

[campgender]

Hi, love your blog, no pressure do you have any sex sociology etc related books or movies you recommended? Sorry if silly question!

not a silly question at all!! i love to read about this stuff & am always happy to talk about it :) i am however not very experienced with film so other than Bound being on my to-watch list since forever i don’t have any recommendations in that area

all of these recs are definitely at different points along a spectrum of how much i ascribe to or agree with; i avoid language of “safe, sane, & consensual,” for example, because i disagree with the requirement for safety and the positioning of sanity as synonymous with not doing harm. a lot of kink writing falls into the habit of trying to justify itself to normative society through language of health, which i find both useless & offensive lol. as far as content notes it’s also worth mentioning that many if not all of these works discuss stigma & trauma, including hate crimes, rape, and incest.

i have a prior list on my disability blog with recs about sex & disability, i highly recommend checking out my favorites from there! Emma Sheppard’s work in particular was life-changing for me. many of these were accumulated through her sources as well as from @gatheringbones ‘s excerpts

in no particular order:

sociology

Playing on the Edge: Sadomasochism, Risk, and Intimacy by Staci Newmahr

Safe, Sane and Consensual: Contemporary Perspectives on Sadomasochism, edited Darren Langdridge & Meg Barker

Sex and Disability, edited Robert McRuer & Anna Mollow

The Sexual Politics of Disability: Untold Desires by Tom Shakespeare, Kath Gillespie-Sells, & Dominic Davies

Unbreaking Our Hearts: Cultures of Un/Desirability and the Transformative Potential of Queercrip Porn by Loree Erickson (dissertation)

Dungeon Intimacies: The Poetics of Transsexual Sadomasochism by Susan Stryker (article)

Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex by Pat (now Patrick) Califia

Leatherfolk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice, edited Mark Thompson

The Feminist Porn Book: The Politics of Producing Pleasure, edited Tristan Taormino, Celine Parreñas Shimizu, Constance Penley, and Mireille Miller-Young

Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire in the Age of Consent by Katherine Angel

practicality

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual, edited Pat (now Patrick) Califia

Fucking Trans Women by Mira Bellwether (zine)

sex writing

S/HE by Minnie Bruce Pratt

Skin by Dorothy Allison

Lover by Bertha Harris

Trans/Love: Radical Sex, Love, and Relationships Beyond the Gender Binary, edited Morty Diamond

Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink by Midori

[npookie0]

kc x unintentionally therapeutic mc? like an mc that is like a safe space for them? :D

A killer's soothing lover.

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Ronin:

At first, Ronin felt a strange sense of uneasiness when he felt just how comforting your presence was for him. He wasn't someone to feel like someone could soothe all the voices in his head with a single look, touch or by saying some comforting bullshit. Yet, here he was. Looking at his partner who's presence felt like heaven for his broken mind. He felt the need to spend more and more time with you, using more methods of corruption to ensure himself that you will be rotten enough to never leave him, but still sane to keep soothing him.

"What's on your mind, Ro?" Their voice made the killer return to reality. He turned his head to look at MC who was currently playing with his plum coloured hair. "About how strange you are darlin'." He replied half honestly. Their strange ability to make him calm and feel completely relaxed was a mystery for Ronin, a mystery he wasn't really interested in solving. What would it change anyway? Nothing. He would still feel this unknown to him sense of relaxation. "And what's so strange about me?" You asked and took a hold of his hand and rubbed its back with your thumb. "Hah, it would be easier to say what's normal about you. We're both fucked up darlin', fucked up and together." He kissed the back of your hand. Ronin was sitting on the floor while you were seated on the sofa, so it was only natural that he leaned his head on your lap.

"I love being fucked up with you Ro." You said with a gentle smile as you brushed some hair from his eyes so you could look into that beautiful abyss hiding behind them. "You really like this? The grotesqueness." He asked, his voice softer and definitely quieter than before. You smiled softly and poked his nose. "Ronin, this grotesqueness is a part of you. I love every part of you even the ones that I haven't discovered yet. You're my boyfriend Ro." You cupped his face in your hands and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. "I know that your life before you could be yourself was extremely terrible and I will be never able to imagine it or completely understand it, but I am not someone from your past. I will stick with you until my body rots and even in hell I will haunt you for eternity." Your confession and declaration, gave him a great sense of safety. You wanted to see every part he was willing to show, you could wait and wouldn't question his choices. How in the hell did he find someone like you? He will never understand. But he's willing to burn this whole damned world at your whim.

V:

The Vigilante never felt particularity save in anyone's company. Especially when he met them through the serial killer server, so this new sensation that he felt with every new voice call, message or meeting with you was something he would never expect.

There were moments when Valentin felt particularly bothered by the murders he commits, those small doubts if he truly was any different from the bastards he erases from this earthy vale. This one was of these moments, V was looking down at his hands while he was sitting on his bed. You just entered the room and immediately stopped in your tracks when you noticed him in that well known for you state. You took a deep breath and quietly approached him to sit next to him. To break V out of his busy mind, you took a hold of his hand and squeezed it. This sudden motion started him and he turned his head to you. "My dear, when did you come back?" The man's voice was laced with self doubt, but you felt his previously tense body relax with you right next to him. "Not too long ago. Are you doubting your morale again?" You asked and leaned your head on his shoulder. Your question was answered with a long sigh and him leaning his head against yours. "What if I am no different from these beasts and devils I swore to clean this world of?" V's hand squeezed your hand. You smiled softly and sat straight, he looked at you and you used this chance to gently kiss him on the lips. This sudden action left him stunned and flustered. "You're not a monster Valentin, you could never be a beast in my eyes. I will repeat this every time you will be faced with doubts, I swear on that." Your words made V's heart melt, he cupped your cheek in his hand. "Thank you, my love." He replied, leaning his forehead against yours with a soft smile forming on his lips.

Misaki:

Misaki is someone who faces self doubt, stress and fear of disappointing someone every so often. At first it was just their parents, because how could anyone want their child to be an assassin? Then it was you, how could you love someone who lives in a small cabin and sends a lot of money to her parents? But to their surprise you were very understanding, you didn't offend her parents, never questioned their choices and asked if you could help them out in some way.

Not even once in their life did they feel so much support from anyone, this loving look in your eyes when you met for the first time was something that Misaki was willing to come back from a assassination for. Just a single thought about you was enough for them to feel motivated to return to you safe and sound.

Misaki was laying in your bed, while you brushed a hand through their hair. "Hey, babe?" They called out loud, earning a "hm?" in response. "Don't you feel disappointed?" After their question your hand immediately froze and you hoovered over them. "What do you mean? With what?" Your gaze was filled with worry and confusion at this sudden question.

"Well, me? I'm an assassin, I kill people to make money, and I can't even keep that money because I need to help out my family." There was a lot of self doubt in their voice and the way they couldn't look into your eyes showed just how your reaction stressed them.

Misaki was caught by surprise when you wrapped your arms around them and kept your head on their shoulder. "Misaki, there't nothing to be disappointed about. Yeah, I don't find the idea of my partner possibly dying while they're at work." You paused and started to play with their hair, since one of your hands was tangled in between them. "But it doesn't change anything. I love you, you're caring and determinated, that's why you're trying to help your parents so much. it's not something to be disappointed with, it's something to praise." All tension from their body was gone after your words. "I can't believe how easy you can just shut up the whole mess in my head." They chuckled awkwardly and ruffled your hair. At least with you around they could relax.

Angel:

Angel had to face of lot of stress, her modeling work was a lot, and adding her channel to that was even more nerve wracking. So after you basically started living with Angel every time she felt stressed you magically appeared behind her with a cup of tea. "Maybe we should watch Black Swan?" You usually ask and she immediately falters. She wasn't sure if it was just her being too tired to fight, or if you were just so good at being her weakness.

This day was no different, you two were laying snuggled on the couch and watching the movie. Angel felt in heaven with your hand rubbing her back and her being able to just feel your scent so clearly and your body so close.

"What's on your mind, Angel?" Your voice reached Maria's ears. It was when she realised that for the whole time she was somewhere else. "Oh, it's... I'm not sure." She chuckled bitterly. "I will be working with a new menager and it's been stressing me out... I'm not sure if I will trust any other menager after Finian." Her voice broke at the thought of her previous menager. It took you a while to help Angel realise just how badly she was treated, so you could understand why she would feel so worried about working with someone new. "An... Maria, it's going to be alright." You barely used her name, so Angel was always caught off guard by the sound of her name leaving your lips. "You're the heartsick angel, if this new menager will be as bad as Finian they will end up jut like him. Me and Ronin are willing to help you with handling this if you will need help, but I know that will do jut perfect without our help." You placed a reassuring kiss on the top of her head.

"Let's focus on resting for now, we will see how the new menager acts once we meet them." And with that Angel was ready to let this situation wait and focus on spending some quality time with her partner for the rest of the night.

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[crzytgther]

more byler headcanons bc i'm never sane and this is all that goes on in my mind:

when they tell the party they're dating they all get confused bc they thought they were already dating since they were so obvious about their crushes on each other

after their first kiss (flickergate or something like that), there's some sort of storm or like monster coming for them (vecna trying to reach them) and they go inside mikes house and hide in his basement for shelter while holding each other tight and will kissing mikes forehead (or vise versa)

(bonus comment: if that ever happened i would definitely make an edit of them with that song that goes "gonna hold you gonna kiss you in my arms" lol)

will is scared of everything and mike is the protecting bf but is secretly also scared of everything

they are SO the "it's always been you" trope (canon alr basically but wtv)

got this from someone on yt but one of them comes so close to death that the other confesses

if someone asks mike any simple question about will he'll just go on a whole rant about him and then they'll be like "mike.. all i asked was ___"

they're in hawkins together in the woods and aren't safe cause of vecna, so they need a place to hide; once mike realizes castle byers is destroyed he helps will rebuild it and while they're picking up sticks their hands touch 😭😭😭 THATS SO STUPID IM SORRY

theyre in a car together driving to meet the group for a hang out, playing their favorite songs and singing along, and even though they're running late mike pulls over just to talk to will and kiss him and hold his hand bc they're the idiots in love that they are (i'm gonna cry)

mike tries to teach will how to play the guitar but he's horrible at it so he holds his hands and moves the pick for him so he can play it for him (WAIT ACTUALLY STOP BC THIS IS LITERALLY THE DRUMS SCENE FROM HEARTSTOPPER S1 BYE) (also help is this even possible (not possible reference???) cause i know nothing abt guitars lmfao)

they were each others first kiss to "practice" kissing (this is canon they actually told me)

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRojeWfH/ this but el walks away after and he takes his arm and pulls him back and kisses him because i can't live without a happy byler ending

MISTLETOE MOMENT!!!

[wombywoo]

Thank you for all your answers! I can't explain how excited I am about this story of yours. I want to gnaw on your brain. 😅 Hope that doesn't sound too weird.

Marc is one fucked up guy. They need to arrest him because that's so damn bad. Seriously, how did Quinn get away from him? Why do I get the feeling that Quinn didn't fully get away from him?? Is he going to make a surprise villain appearance? D=

I think Danny and Vincent should team up and stab Marc. <3

Please tell me Quinn doesn't pull the same choking RACK stuff with Vincent. I can't imagine Vincent would be happy with Quinn pushing himself like that, even if he's feeling low.

I know a psych eval would bench Quinn forever, and that wouldn't be good for him, but boy does that boy need some better coping mechanisms. A couple of therapists. A lot of hugs. Just, all the love.

I'm glad Vincent cares about Quinn so much, but I'm also excited for the potential drama as he tries to get Quinn realise he cares about him. It sounds like Quinn is going to make it as difficult as possible for Vincent before melting into his arms.

I'd love to know more about Vincent's complicated feelings, especially about the evil vampires, and Quinn's visions. I just love hearing all your speculations and lore domes, no matter how drama or trauma filled they may be. <3

Please by all means continue munching my brain, it's very motivating !!!!

Marc is the worst for sure. And his ass needs to be incarcerated stat, but unfortunately he's rich and powerful, sooooo... dot dot dot Quinn had 'broken up' with him a few times, but there was always a something pulling him back, so maybe he's still feeling that tether.... (don't worry, Marc will have his comeuppance eventually, I am just building sweet sweet tension)

I would not be opposed to Vince and Danny giving him a stab or two 🤔..

(And he will make an appearance btw; his company is funding the task force, hehehe.....)

As for Quinn and his, uhh. not great habits in the bedroom, that's also something that may come up as a point of drama. I can see him trying to push Vincent into being rough with him, even taking it too far when he's feeling particularly..not great. Predictably, Vincent will not be a fan of this, hence the ✨drama✨ I do think they can eventually develop some healthier bdsm-type stuff for Quinn, but for now--he's not got the best history with sexual risk-taking, and he's probably going to steer towards something that's not very safe or sane 😬

asdfgh honestly at this point, I'm not even sure if there's therapy strong enough to help him 😭 Which is why it's crucial that he has Vincent now, and more importantly--FIG, who is perhaps the best thing he has for feeling good and happy in his life 🥺🙏 hugs are also appreciated

There will definitely be a lot of future drama, in fact, I keep chewing over potential scenes and rubbing my hands together like a totally normal not-insane villain...

Vincent is *very* concerned about Quinn's visions, moreso than Quinn himself. He's got sooo many questions and very little answers. And his ties to certain evil vampires in the past might start becoming relevant again, so that's always fun to revisit....

I have a loooot more stuff I've been contemplating, so I will share accordingly, or perhaps get off my ass and actually write this damn thing 😤 Please standby <3

[rpgchoices]

Useless rpg recs. RPGS where you can have a d/s (bdsm-ajacent) romance

(I say "adjacent" as many of these videogame romances do not follow the rule of safe, sane and - sometimes - consensual)

Under cut for themes of sexual nature and spoilers:

Baldur's Gate 3: Lae'zel and Astarion fit in the adjacent category. Lae'zel's romance starts with some play on the dominant/follower roles between her and the player. Astarion in his ascended ending has some questionable romance choices that end up with him in a position of power (total power) over the player.

Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous: This game has two romances that are adjacent to d/s even if nothing healthy to look at here! Thanks to @scorpiuscircuss and @meishuu for reminding me that Wenduag romance has a touch of d/s. She can be romanced by any gender and will consider the player characters as her superior, someone to obey given they are stronger than her. She has quite a sweet romance all things considered! The other (with caution) is Sosiel - I haven't played it so consider it a question mark between how much unhealthy d/s it is vs how much it's just an abusive relationship.

Rogue Trader: This game has a romance that will allow you to take a dominant role or a submissive role, and the romance will have a happy ending as long as you do not change the role mid-game. Marazhai can be romanced by both genders and his romance is a violent, bloody mess. He is a Drukhari and love is seen as possession and domination - so dominate him away! (or submit to him). The dom romance is a bit bugged but I wrote everything here.

Dragon Age Inquisition: The Iron Bull probably needs no introduction. A part from one particular ending for him, his romance is absolutely wholesome and even introduces safewords. The player will always take the submissive role in this case.

Pathfinder Kingmaker: Regongar and Octavia are less in the existential-adjacent role and more in the playful and fun (with a touch of angst) masochist (Regongar) and dominant (Octavia) role. In general, a player who romances them both or romances Regongar can take a dominant role. While there are no safewords involved, and Regongar and Octavia do use their roles to cope with their past, in general most of the romance is definitely on the safe side with enthutisastic consent.