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daylighted · 27 days ago

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ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐀.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ━ㅤ ㅤ sam winchester.

the tale of the lord of the sea and the gentle maiden whose home was always amongst the waves.

a poseidon reimagining, through the veiled, handcrafted lens of sam winchester and reader, who brings gods to their knees, addressed as pearl, fem pronouns. interconnected standalone sequel to life unto death.

content warnings. discussions of death & drowning. poseidon is not a total monster. no happy ending. open ending.

word count. 5k

it did not stop pouring the day that the village drowned.

she was always disconnected from the rest of the townsfolk, pearl was. an enigma, her parents sighed in her mention; an enigma, her peers snickered at her presence; an enigma, he whispered to himself, as he watched from the horizon as her entire cruel town was engulfed in lapping wakes of water.

he did not let the water, not a single drop, land on the roof of her cottage by the seaside.

it was not an uncommon occurrence for him to linger atop the shores, breathing in air that he did not need to breathe, so long as he could taste the same salt-twinged air as her.

the town did not rise from the depths, and the water did not draw back into the sea, and yet throughout all of this, pearl did not leave.

he had never been frightened that she would. he'd never doubted her at all, as every other person in her life seemed to. there was something about his pearl that called to him, and as she got more determined, or perhaps more frustrated, she braved the harsh waves and answered his own calls.

there were no words for the goddess she had become in her seclusion. little starfish clung to the glittering, salted strands of her now curled hair; freckles dusted her skin like raindrops; and her pink coral mouth was turned down into the prettiest sneer he'd ever seen.

"why have you forsaken me like this?" she calls from the shoreline that marred the front entrance to her small home. "what have i done to deserve this isolation?"

he was certain that her eyes were locked onto his. he could feel the penetrating gaze of her defiance, her devastation. and, as he'd done many times since his accidental discovery of the girl with salt water in her blood, he took the wind between his fingers and forged a note in between its gusts, and let his words be carried over the miles between them.

you are not isolated, they curl around her ear and promise, for you have me.

maybe he was a selfish bastard; but weren't all gods? give a man an inch, and he will take a mile. give a god an inch, and he will drown the cruel town that tormented his fascination.

she had began to start calling him samuel, his pearl. a title which translated to the name of god, all of which were true, he figures. can't argue with. the mer beneath the ocean's waters called him poseidon, though his attachment to that name slipped away the longer that pearl spoke to him.

and gods, was her mouth colorful. even when he was beneath the surface of the waves, he could hear her cursing him to every other god that she could name - of which he was certain his brothers were getting quite the laugh over.

he did not fully understand her discontent, however: he'd saved her. spared her from the drowning inside of her mind, and from the drowning he unleashed upon her home. the problems of humans were the size of salt grains, to him, and so he could not figure out how to empathize with her, or to apologize.

that day, the cruel twist of pearl's words had fallen off into resignation. poseidon could never deny himself something he wanted or longed for, and so it was easy to rise above the lapping water and steal a peek at the girl of salt water. her fingers danced over the water's surface, playing with the gentle waves that he sent to her. the god of the sea, gone molten in the presence of a woman made up of flame and ire.

"i know you listen to me, samuel," she says, and the rolling waves, his most loyal of messengers, carries the sound of her voice back to him, "i ask you again what i have done, to be trapped in the center of your seas, with no one for company. not even you, who stays beneath more than you come to play."

the cruelest of bastards could not even deny such invitations. the seas parted, revealing a coral lined surface beneath their depths, as he began the distance from his place in the ocean's center, to the woman that he deemed the center of himself.

pearl did not balk, or shrink away. even as tall as he was, even as big as he was, she held her ground, inches beneath the nose he looked down at her from. "where did you get the impression that i had a common name?"

"samuel is not common around here," she shoots back at him, and even as his voice echoes, hers carries, "as i am the only human being left."

"i am here," he hums, and it makes him uncomfortable, to hear what she deems as one of his faults weaponized against him. "is that not enough?"

it is crazy, the things that adoration and affinity cause you to excuse. she was angry with him, but did not curse the very existence of himself. her finger stabs into his chest but he does not take hold of it and break it.

pearl was a girl made of salt and ire. she would not whittle under his pressure. she would blossom anew. "you are not human. you are a god with the temperament of a human, but you are not like me."

his fingers close around her finger, lifting it easily from digging into the bare skin of his chest. "and you were not like them."

her skin is warm beneath his. he is tempted to never let go, to test his luck and see if she glimmers under the heavy weight of his gaze, or crumbles into sand.

"that is not a fair assessment," pearl fires off, and his defenses crumble in its wake, "letting your seas swallow my livelihood was not your call to make."

his tug is gentle, but it is enough to bring her closer to him, to lean down a head's worth of height and meet her eyes properly. "darling, your livelihood was not amongst their numbers. it has always been amongst those seas."

he does not see pearl for a fortnight. it is the longest fourteen days of his life; a hard accomplishment to make, when days blink by like seconds to him, and weeks like minutes.

but she prays. how lovely her voice can be when it's not full of her hurt and her wrath, when it calls to him in times where she cannot see his face except in the depths of her mind. perhaps it is easier that way, to speak her truths without the gaze of a god searing into her as she stumbles for proper words.

"i know the town still exists beneath the surface," pearl whispers to her steepled hands, her forehead to the wooden bedframe, "so i would ask to see it. if it was so important for it to be drowned, i would ask to see what has become of my childhood home and its neighboring predecessors."

he does not listen to every prayer that finds its way beneath the ocean's waves. but he listens to hers every time that they come.

she wakes up in the morning to the seas drawn back deeply, tall waves peaking at the distant horizon and lightly splashing on the doorsteps of dilapidated homes.

she has always seen so much, pearl. poseidon could claim that all of this was done in favor of her protection, but it started as the beginnings of a plan to forge a kingdom beneath the water. as the earthly populations grew, his sea creatures and his mer's did, too.

destroying the lives of people that hurt you was only the catalyst. homes made of wood had already been repurposed and reinforced with coral. algae and seaweed danced in the cracks of the windows and the open doors.

what was once dreary and small, her village, was now crafted anew. her grief was still evident in her expression, but there was a sense of exactly what samuel had grown to expect from her, beneath the surface of her emotions. awe and longing.

she was never at home on the shores. it was why she moved closer to the seaside once she'd reached the age to leave her family; it was why, prior to this, when the rumors flooded her ears and snuck into his in the process, she sought comfort in the gentle laps of waves at her doorstep.

as always, pearl is in tune with his presence, as he is in tune with hers.

"you have been quite busy," she says, a hand raising in a broad gesture to the underwater city.

samuel's head dips into a nod when he steps out from around the house he'd been observing from. it is best not to overwhelm the girl, whose life had already been upturned overnight. sympathy came easier now that he'd seen the blazes in her eyes. "atlantis," he says, his fingers closing around hers as he approaches. "come. let me show you the world."

and her hurt is still deeply embedded within her, but it is shaping and forging into something stronger. he sees it in the way her eyes glimmer with intrigue despite the harsh tilt of her chin, attempting to intimidate him. he is certain that pearl was the only human capable of bringing him to his knees.

pearl allows him to lead her along; small hand entwined with his larger one. it must be hard, he thinks; seeing the place you grew up in to be so empty and desolate, looking so out of place as it grows into something new. it does not help that the water is drawn back, making everything that is supposed to be beneath its depths exposed and wrong in appearance.

the recognition is immediate, when samuel leads her to the home that she spent her youth in. her fingers tighten around his, her other hand running along the rough exterior of coral that'd grown around the planks of wood.

she is silent. he is afraid, for a split second, and not for the first time, that she might cry, and that he has again made the wrong decision in an attempt to soothe the ache in her heart.

pearl's lips part, and he is not expecting the words that come out of them. "what happened to them?"

samuel's expression flattens.

he turns to the ruins and sees a future; she sees a past. he wishes that he could save her from the pain of those memories and let her start anew, and on her own time; but it is not his place to interfere again with what pearl needs or wants.

"they left," he answers finally on a slow exhale of a breath, "at the first signs of an impending tsunami." the light drains out of her eyes like the sun dipping behind the horizon, and he wishes that he had never answered. that he had sugarcoated the truth and spared her some of the heartache. "they did not seek out the girl on the coast. they abandoned her to the wrath they assumed that i felt."

she wipes at her watery eyes, the salt of her tears entwining with the sea salt on her cheeks. "did you? feel wrath?"

"i felt fury." samuel extends a hand to grasp her wrist between his fingers, pulling it away from her face, lifting it to kiss each of those tear stricken fingertips. "that they could isolate someone off of their own misconceptions. that they could choose to leave you."

pearl does not say anything else, but her eyes are locked onto his, and samuel knows that she is finally reading through the lines of what he'd done. drowned the home she'd grown up in, afraid and alone and to her own devices, and built something out of it, with the two things that she loved the most: water, and safety.

"how am i meant to live like this?" she asks, letting him hold her still, but turning on her heel to gesture toward the expanse of sea on either side of them. "i will drown, too. the sea will swallow me whole."

"nothing is capable of dousing the fire that stokes within you," he promises her, his mouth to her palm, "you are made of salt and the sea. it cannot take from you again."

like calls to like.

pearl has always felt at home by the seaside. the foundations of her childhood home were built nearest to the edge of grassland. her first steps were taken in sun-warmed sand. her first friends were the crabs tucked in the dunes beneath the soft surface.

the others of her village feared the coastline. the horizon stretched on endlessly, the waters constantly raged and inched up the shore more and more with every lap of waves. they blamed the god beneath the surface for its temperaments.

she blamed the superstitions of the townsfolk for the unrest beneath the sea. fear breeds anger; more contagious than any disease or ailment.

pearl had been talking to the god for longer than he'd been answering. perhaps it was her own fault, then, that the god reacted so violently to her pleas for understanding.

i am not like them, she'd said once, her head to the bedframe, her knees digging into the mottled wood of the cabin's floor, i do not understand myself to know why. they do not bother to ask.

she didn't know what god she was praying to, just that the one beneath the ocean's surface was closest to home, and pearl could only hope, then, that his answering calls were kind and just.

the next day, she'd awoke to the town flooded, the home abandoned, and her abode untouched.

water sloshed outside of her window. salt made the wooden walls sparkle beneath the sun ablaze. and she was all alone, except for the little creatures that slipped beneath her doorframe with the lapping waves to keep her company.

no, she did not understand, then, what had happened. did not even consider the fact that she'd called upon a god and his answer would come so swiftly. she did not drown with the town, but she drowned in her grief.

samuel, she'd called him, because even the most obscure of gods deserved to be named when they were being cursed, she figured. but samuel was not an obscure god, nor was he a kind one, typically. as much as she was an enigma to those who'd known her, he was an enigma amongst his kind, too.

solitude did not come easily after he'd shown her atlantis. as much as she tried to shut him out for even a day, a sunrise and sunfall at least, he did not leave her. by the end of the week, the mer were leaving gifts at her doorstep �� invitations, really, to join him again in the parted seas.

it must have been part of his innate abilities; the way that pearl could dip her toes in the sands, and the water would give way to either side of her, curl around her like a wave about to crash, creating a tunnel into the depths of open water.

she should have feared drowning, after what the god had done. instead, she trusted him as strongly as all devoted do; with her heart, her soul, her fate.

the water stretched for miles, and yet each step, her tunnel of safety did not dissipate. on either side of her, mer pressed against the liquid barriers, the wall rippling as their hands pressed against it to capture her attention, to wave. his assessment was right, after all: the sea was always her home.

she did not know what she was being invited to, was not tuned in to the inner workings of the mer and the god who oversaw them. what pearl did know, though, was that even the sea creatures seemed to bow to her as she slipped into the domains of their home.

"you came," samuel says from the expansive arching entrance of his grandiose kingdom of coral, "i trust your journey was dry."

her smile comes so naturally that she could not believe this was a man that she'd once deemed the greatest monster of all. "much to the dismay of the mermaids watching me."

"they would never dare to flick a droplet onto our awaited guest."

our awaited guest. but there is no one else permitted into the space, then; no one that could be in the same space, what with the water warped into a protective entrance, and the mer without landlegs.

she opens her mouth to question him, but he shakes his head, offering a hand instead. "they are curious, so they will watch, until i tell them away," her hand curls into his, so much smaller in appearance to the god's, "it is not common to have a mortal in our ranks."

"is this your way of telling me that it will become common practice?"

pearl is capable of appreciating the beauty of his home while acknowledging that this is not it at its prime. its prime would be surrounded by blue, drowned in water like her village was. it would be bright and vibrant amongst the clear ocean. it would look like a home, and not a place meant for showing and telling.

but the violets and the pinks and the oranges are striking against the matching sunset backdrop, the seaweed curled around the towering structure's walls flapping with the salted gusts of wind.

she cannot peel her eyes away from each room. the space was open, separated by arches and half-walls of uneven coral, but each room was distinguishable from the others. there, his throne, sat tall on the middlemost floor, the tips of its back rising past the uppermost floor. here, a large open space with...

pearls. pearls everywhere. lining the half walls, making the floor of the kingdom glimmer in shades of cream and white.

"it is my way of offering my home to you," samuel finally answers, his hand still held loosely in hers, almost as if he were more nervous than she was. impossible. she'd never been one for being the center of attention, but here, it was like every pair of eyes on her was awestruck and not scrutinizing.

she turns to face him, something uncertain in her eyes. "i do not understand how that would work."

"the logistics are mine to worry about. if you want to take your place within my walls, it is yours. it has always been yours." sam takes her hand again, leading her past sconces of gemstone and mineral, past the glimmering aquamarine of his throne, and up.

his hand holding hers is what steadies her, or else she might have stumbled at the sudden lurch. they floated higher together, as if she'd been underwater and slowly loosing the breath in her lungs to stay on the ground, and now she was pulling back on it enough to float higher.

she does lose all sense of her breath at what, exactly, she'd been led to.

a bedspace, with a bed of pale blue pressed against the deep blue wall. the first solid wall in the space that she'd seen, and it glimmered like jewels, as deep as ultramarine.

"oh," she says softly, like all of the air in her lungs was whooshed away, and in its place was the water surrounding them.

somehow, she has brought the god to a stutter. "no. no, this is not..."

"oh," she echoes, and suddenly samuel is on his knees before her, her hand still clasped in his.

he squeezes once to get her attention. he is so tall that even knelt, he is merely eye level. "it is yours," he clarifies quickly, as if he could not get the words out fast enough, "if you choose to accept it. and even if you do not, it will remain untouched until the day you take up on the offer."

speech is a privilege. she cannot find an inkling of a thought in her arsenal of them. "oh." this time it elicits a wince from herself, wishing she had something more grateful, or appreciative, anything.

samuel's mouth quirks into an amused sort of smile, which only makes her feel worse about her reactions. "i choose to believe the lack of coherency is a good sign."

it was a good sign. how did she put into words that no one had thought of her, or what she wanted, ever before like this? that in this expanse of a kingdom with its open walls and the houses of her former village in its sandy courtyard, she has never felt so at home?

she does not say any of this. instead, she does something that surprises even herself, and she launches forward to grasp his face into her hands, and kisses him.

to kiss a god is to give oneself away entirely. an offering of its own sorts.

and when samuel picks her up and lays her on the plush of her mattress, she lets him take what she grants to him. again, and again, and again.

the ends of pearl's dress catch in the wind as she sprints down the sandy path she's come to know so dearly.

the seas part, and the water splashes into the sky. dolphins peek their snouts through the thinning barrier, the drippings of water making the sand soft beneath her feet. starfish and sea snails peek out from the safety of the wettened sand, come to watch their goddess return.

pearl is not of any magic, or any god's blood, but she has figured out the pieces of the coral walls and how to climb them. and climb she does, up and up until she's in her bedspace, where samuel is usually there, tidying the space. returning the water back to its natural state after she leaves is always a mess, he told her once, but i do not mind clearing the seahorses out of your blankets, so long as it gets you to come back to me.

but samuel is not there. she has never gotten to see the seahorse embedded in the warm seaweed blankets, but there are two there tucked into the strands, and now something feels wrong.

she listens intently, moments too late. she had time to turn around and leave if she'd not gotten so caught up in the joy curling around her heart.

"this is the pet, then," an unfamiliar male voice says from the surface level, and pearl wishes she could run the opposite way, and not have to face whoever else could brave the parted seas. no mer could, no sea creature could speak to her, and immediately, this is not someone that she feels that she should know.

samuel's voice is enraged. she knows the cadence of his anger, now. no matter the barriers were thinning today; he was fighting against his will to not send the ocean into a frenzy. "she is no pet."

"every human that slips through the cracks of our hearts is a pet, poseidon, and the quicker you learn that, the easier it is to detach."

his voice is deep, bored. from the corner of her singular wall, pearl peers around to find two sets of eyes already watching her.

samuel returns his attention to the man before him. slightly shorter in stature, dressed in dark, and expression ablaze. "you are only angry because persephone had to return to the ground. do not take it out on her."

"say her name again, brother, and i'll test how slowly i can make a mortal bleed dry." pearl's blood in mention runs ice cold. she wraps her arms around herself as if the sudden chill is one that can be rubbed away, and not one that is rooted within her. "come on out, beloved pearl. let me see the face of the woman who has stricken my brother."

it feels like a trap. perhaps it is. but there is no other way to go, with the drowning seas surrounding her, and the deeper levels of the kingdom hardly any security at all. so pearl descends from her room and makes her way between the men too big to be mortal, both wearing carefully placed masks over their feelings.

"pretty," the stranger says, reaching out to dust a thumb over pearl's eyelashes, "and you have certainly made your mark on her."

"that is unkind," pearl snaps back at him, jerking her face away from the light touch of his hand. "you must be mad, calling out for me like i am an animal, and making assessments of me as if i cannot understand you."

the man's mouth twitches. "i see." his eyes dance over to samuel's. "you have always liked dousing the fire out of women alike."

samuel's jaw ticking is the only indication that he heard his brother at all. "it is not a good time, pearl."

"it is!" the other claps his hands together, the look in his eyes brightening in a way that mimics a child with a toy. her, his chosen plaything. "tell me, how cruel does it feel, exactly, to know that your love is destined to wither and die?"

"do not listen to him." samuel grasps his brother's arm and tugs backwards. "he knows only death and destruction. he will see a weakness and latch if only to taste the bitterness of your hurt—"

"spreading lies about your bloodline does not lessen the blow of the truth."

samuel's voice drops. "leave her out of this, hades. out of your games."

hades.

it sends a shiver down pearl's spine, hearing that name uttered so freely. the townsfolk used to whisper of him after a passing of a loved one. used to wish their spirits any other fate than the one that came in the underworld.

he recognizes when pearl clicks the pieces together. and, as samuel said, he latches. "i could free you from those confines," he says slowly, his voice low and easing, "i could grant you the ability to be amongst your god as an equal. an offer i assume poseidon has not offered you."

hurt flashes over her face, and hades has her. hooked, lined, and sinking.

"i do not believe you."

it does not deter the god of the underworld.

"you have prayed for my brother to be banished, and now you plead his name that he never stops," hades' smile is cruel, teasing, unkind, "such a shift in tone does not go unnoticed to the gods that listen. i am not so cruel to deny a girl the fate she wants."

her heart hammers in her chest. he was not supposed to know what she wished. those pleas were for samuel, and him only. her want to be one of his people; to not only worship him, but to be alongside him, and to never have to perish and end up in the hands of his meaner brother.

"he does not know what you wish for, does he?"

samuel's eyes have never left pearl's expression. it is his turn for his eyes to flash with hurt. "what have you kept from me?"

it was not a willful or conscious choice. she prayed and pleaded, but there was no way to make a certain god listen.

"you would give that to me?" pearl asks, her voice small, hesitant.

hades reaches for her hand, and his deep green eyes blacken the moment their skin touches. "i would give you everything."

it is too late for poseidon to pull her free from his clutches. she does not remember at all, now, why she'd ever called him sam before.

the seas do not part again. her abode in the grasslands rots, sea-stained wood mottling and curling in on itself.

the town has drowned, and so has pearl.

he was angry, hades. an angry, bitter god is not one that should be taken up on an offering for a granted wish. but love is blinding and love is cruel. not that pearl knew, anymore, what that love had felt like.

she lives in the sea. the merfolk welcomed her; cleared her a space in the depths of the sea to rest in, a beautiful pink sea anemone just for her. the kingdom she'd began to call home was long gone; the city of atlantis long forgotten and lost.

the water is cruel and rough. when she sits atop one of the protruding rocks in the deep of the ocean, she is splashed with violent waves, salt curling her drying hair, hitting with enough force against the scaly tail in place of her legs that it almost feels like the water is trying to pull her back under. trying to pull her to something.

to feel at home, finally, is a love like no other she has felt. but even then, it does not feel like enough. pearl's heart has swelled tenfold, but there is still a chunk that feels missing.

and so she sits on that rock every night and sings, sings to beckon what she lost back to her, and the only thing it ever brings is lost, lovelorn sailors. they are never what she yearns for. mockeries of the empty hollow in her heart. drowning them is easy. the drowning sea has always been hungry.

every night, she sings, and poseidon listens from the other side of the ocean deep, sat in the soft blues of her bed. there are no gods for him to pray to for her return, for the curse of lost love placed upon his pearl by his petty, furious brother to be taken back.

but there is all of the time in the world with gods. and he had plenty at his disposal, to keep the sea creatures out of her bedspread, in case she finds her way back to him.

notes. this one has been in my drafts for ... i'm not even gonna say how long. it's had many ups & more downs. hope u all enjoy it regardless !!! literally a labor of love.

tags. @frosttbitessam @sthefferrete @cevansbaby-dove @titsout4jackles @deansbeer @bluestrd @ultravi0lence14 @mccartneyqp @depressionbarbie2023 @im-bili @chevroletdean @fallbhind @angelblqde @honeyryewhiskey @deansbite @lyarr24 @deanswidow @figthoughts @bluemerakis @fallbhind @beausling @t3l3vangelism @tristimith @whyyouegg @untltledforyourpleasure @ravenchoo @odetoficton @globetrotter28 @theosaurous @starzify @samslovely @aileenunfiltered @rubyvhs @soldiersgirl @fairychris @legalmente-loca @voidsuites @stereotypicalbarbie @arlensw1fe

#──★ gods & monsters #──★ one with the sea #poseidon!sam #sam winchester #sam winchester au #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester one shot #supernatural #spn #supernatural one shot #spn one shot #jared padalecki #jared fucking padalecki #jared padalecki x reader #greek mythology

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definitelynuwonhere · 8 months ago

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I can’t stop giggling about the Wedding Audio. I’M NOT EVEN LISTENING TO IT, DIALOGUE JUST KEEPS COMING TO MIND OR LIKE, I IMAGINE WHAT ELSE COULD’VE GONE DOWN, IT’S CONSUMED ME.

- LIke i swear the guys got to the venue first because the mates had to take a pitstop to get drinks, because the weather was not it

- And they definitely had a dance party in the car, like Shut up and dance played, you can’t tell me otherwise. And they also played a song for each couple. ‘Five Minute Friend’ by TROY for Baabe and Ash, and ‘I’m inlove with A Monster’ for Angel and David

-I also wanna say that when the bouquet was thrown it was caught by Samuel and Darlin’ winked at them

-David and Asher had a dance off, with Milo interjecting to show that he was the prettiest of them all

-Darlin’ getting a little too competitive with ‘Pack Trivia’

-Christian getting jumped into a hug by Asher, and then there’s just a cute moment with all the other pack members

-Marie gives a toast that leaves Asher tearing up and David fucking weeping.

-All of them playing the ‘Drink If you have’ and Angel and Darlin’ are just getting absolutely hammered

I could do this all day long guys please

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted wedding #redacted david #redacted asher #redacted sam #redacted milo #redacted angel #redacted baabe #redacted sweetheart #redacted darlin’

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clarisse0o · 6 months ago

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Camp Wiegman-Part 28

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Thursday, December 31; 12:00 PM - Home.

- What if your new friends don’t like me?

- Mapi, that’s enough.

- No, seriously, I don’t know them and they don’t know me either, remember?

- You’ve got nothing to worry about, I said, rolling my eyes for the umpteenth time.

Since we woke up, she’s been second-guessing her decision to accept my New Year’s invitation. She had a whole week to think it over, and now she’s reacting. She was so enthusiastic at first. Now I’m getting all these “Are you sure?�� and “What if…?” questions. I don’t think I can take much more.

- Anyway, it’s too late to back out now, I replied calmly.

- Pff... Are you almost done packing your suitcase?

- Yeah, I’m good.

- Are you going to tell me who all these gifts are for?

- You’ll find out soon enough. Are you ready? We’ll be leaving shortly.

- I’ve been ready since yesterday, she chuckles. I think you’re the one we should be asking.

- I should have everything.

I’ve checked at least three times to make sure. Since I won’t be coming back to Barcelona, I need to make sure I don’t forget anything. My next return could be months away or just a week.

- Do you really think we made the right choice? We could always stay here.

- Stop it, my friends are great. You’ll love them just as much as they’ll love you, I’m sure of it.

- So, how’s it going to work, then?

Even though I’ve explained it to her a hundred times, I think it reassures her to hear it again. I still wonder why she’s so anxious. I’m sure everything will go just fine.

- Alexia and Alba are landing at practically the same time as us. We’ll wait for each other and then take a taxi together to Leah’s place. That way, you’ll get to know my roommate ahead of time. She’s really excited to meet you.

- Hmm... Anyway, I don’t have a choice, do I?

- Nope, I giggled. It’s time to go. Hector must be waiting for us.

She grabs her things without much enthusiasm. I laugh as I follow her out. Her suitcase is small compared to mine. We say goodbye to Samuel and Sofia, who were waiting for us at the door. My mother, Marcus, and Joan had already left around ten this morning to visit friends who live a few hours away. I got up at nine on purpose to say goodbye to Joan. It wasn’t hard since I was already awake.

- Have a great time, girls, Sam and Sofia wish us.

- Thanks, have a great evening too.

I give them one last hug as they thank me for the gift I gave them. It wasn’t much, but I wanted to mark the occasion. They leave at the same time as we do since no one will be home. I’m glad they can enjoy the rest of their day with family. As for Hector, he still has a bit of work to do, driving us to the airport. The return is close now.

Thursday, December 31; 4:00 PM - Manchester Airport.

I stretch and yawn loudly, to Mapi’s amusement. I need to stretch my legs after the two-hour flight. I slept really well, even with Mapi’s presence. Shay greeted me as we got off the plane. Mapi can’t believe I know a girl like her. She gives me a playful shove after we pass her, still glancing back.

- Goodness. Why do you always attract the prettiest ones? she laughs.

- You can have her, I say with a smile, knowing her tastes. She’s just friendly, that’s all.

- Uh-huh. It’s true you’re saving yourself for Bronze, she teases back.

I roll my eyes, keeping my smile, not responding to avoid fueling her idea. My only hope is that she’ll behave in front of my friends tonight. No one knows about my relationship with my boss. I’ve given her enough pointers on what to avoid saying or doing. I don’t know why, but knowing her, I probably should’ve avoided it. She might do the exact opposite just to mess with me. Her arm drops as we reach the airport. We’ve barely passed the arrival barriers when a new brunette practically leaps onto me. I laugh as I feel her legs wrap around my waist, forcing me to support her by the thighs to avoid a spectacular fall.

- I missed you sooo much! she exclaims, her voice rising into a high pitch at the end.

- I missed you too, guapa!

I glance to my side where Mapi seems to have trouble processing what she’s seeing, from what I can tell. These next few days will be very enlightening for her. She’ll probably understand why these exceptional people make me want to stay here. Especially Alexia, who remains one of my favorites because of her persistence. She somehow managed to break through my physical barriers with her tactile nature.

Her voice goes high-pitched at the end. I smile, noticing Mapi’s puzzled expression beside me. She certainly didn’t expect me to accept such an embrace from anyone other than her. She’s going to understand a lot over these next few days.

- You must be Mapi? I hear despite being muffled by Alexia. I’m Alba Putellas.

- That’s me, and I know who you are, Bonita, replies my best friend.

Mapi’s trademark tact hasn’t changed. As if remembering her presence, Alexia finally lets go of me. I’m barely surprised when she hugs Mapi next. Mapi seems slightly awkward at first but accepts the contact out of politeness. I take advantage of their meeting to greet Alba in turn.

- Good to see you again, Princess. Glad to be back where it all began?

- Princess, huh? Mapi interjects before I have a chance to reply. Why don’t you ever tell me things like this? They’ve got you figured out, she laughs.

- Should I tell them how you were acting a few hours ago so you don’t start? I jokingly threaten.

- I think that’s enough, she says, pulling a face. By the way, what time is it? Is it normal that I’m starving?

- Four o’clock, but it must be the jet lag, comments Alexia.

- Yeah, that’s exactly it. Good thing I came prepared, right?

- Awh, you’re the best anyway.

I smile, digging into my bag to pull out some cookies I grabbed at the last minute in the kitchen. I expected she’d be hungry. I was just like her on my first trip here. She munches on them as we head to the baggage carousel to collect our luggage. Alba and Alexia have already retrieved theirs, which means they landed well before us. Once we’ve all got our bags, we head out. Alexia had reserved a taxi to take us to Leah and Alessia’s place. The taxi is late, making Mapi grumble, who now, instead of being hungry, is cold. I had warned her there’d be a big temperature difference between Barcelona and here, but she didn’t listen. From what I can see, it hasn’t snowed too much yet. To our relief, the taxi finally arrives, shutting my best friend up. Alba sits up front while I find myself sandwiched between my two friends in the back seat. I regret my spot when they start chatting with each other the whole way. At least I don’t have to worry about them getting along, though I had very little doubt. I knew everything would be fine. Thankfully, the trip was short. Leah and Alessia live just outside downtown in a spacious house, not too big and not too small. Alba takes care of paying the taxi while we unload our bags from the trunk. Leah herself opens the door before we even have to ring. I’m at the front of the group, so I’m the first to hug her.

- Hey, Princess, I didn’t know you were so sentimental, she laughs. You’re slipping in my book.

- Be grateful you’re getting a hug from her, I had to work hard to get the first one, comments Alexia.

- Seriously! You wouldn’t believe how long it took me to get the first one, Mapi chimes in.

- Hey, you two, I can manage you separately, but if you team up, this isn’t going to work.

They exchange a knowing look that tells me I’m going to regret bringing them together. In the end, the one who’s going to be jealous will probably be me. They get along even better than I imagined. I move forward when Leah invites us in. Alessia arrives shortly after we enter to greet us as well.

- Are we the first ones? Alba asks.

- Yeah, Patri and Claudia should be here soon, Leah replies. They said they’re picking up Maya and Ella on the way.

- Owh, that’s a lot of names to remember, Mapi comments.

I smile, understanding her on that point. Not long ago, I barely knew half of them, but I eventually learned everyone.

- There aren’t that many, Alexia reassures her.

- Maybe, but at the same time, Ona never talks to me about you guys, she retorts.

- Are you kidding me? I exclaim, offended.

- OK, how about I give you a tour of the house? Alessia suggests to avoid our debate.

- Good idea, let’s do that, Alexia agrees, not without teasing us.

We follow Alessia through the house. We start in the large living area we’re already in. It combines the living room and dining room, along with the kitchen in the back left corner. This layout creates a big, well-divided space. The decor is neither too old nor too modern. It’s a lot like the house I grew up in. We continue upstairs where we bring our luggage. She shows us the bathroom, the toilets, then the three main bedrooms, and two smaller guest rooms. She explains that there will be four rooms with three people each tonight.

- Well, I guess the three of us will be together, Alexia says. Is that okay with you, Alessia?

- Yes, yes, of course. Whatever you want.

She lets us choose between the two guest rooms, even though they’re practically identical. A mattress has been added to each room, leaving little space for our stuff, but with some organization, we manage. Alessia leaves us to help the other with the preparations. We thank her before she disappears downstairs.

- Want to share a bed? Mapi suggests. I mean, if you don’t mind, Alexia.

- No problem, she replies. You’ve known each other longer, so it’s only natural.

- Ona?

- We’ve been sharing a bed for almost two weeks. One more night won’t bother me.

- So it’s settled, she concludes.

I silently thank Mapi for her suggestion. She’s saving me from a tricky situation. I love Alexia, but I’m not ready to share a bed with her. That’s still a boundary for me. Before joining the others, we finish bringing up the rest of our things. Well, mostly Alexia’s and mine since Mapi doesn’t have as much as we do. She still comes down with us to take Alba’s things, which we put in Leah’s room as requested.

- You could’ve told me Alexia was so gorgeous, Mapi comments once we’re alone. Do you think I’ve got a chance with her?

- No, forget it, I giggled. I already told you she has a girlfriend and it’s serious. I didn’t bring you here to hit on my friends, I frowned.

- I was joking, she giggles. But still, what a shame. She must be a heartbreaker... Just like you, it seems.

- Really? Why do you say that?

- Didn’t you see how Alessia was eyeing you?

- What? Alessia? I laugh. Are you out of your mind?

- Didn’t you notice? she’s surprised. I’m telling you, she’s got a crush on you! Pay more attention when you’re with her.

- If you say so...

We stop talking when Alexia returns from Leah’s room. She smiles at us as she approaches.

- Everything good?

- Yep, we can go down and help the others.

And that’s what we do. The conversation with Mapi leaves me a bit puzzled, though. I would’ve liked to keep talking about it so she could explain how she came to that conclusion. I’ll pay more attention; maybe I’ll figure it out myself.

When we get downstairs, we find a completely transformed living room that we had barely recognized earlier. Leah and Alba have totally changed it by moving the couches and some furniture to create more space. They’re currently adding a table and chairs for tonight.

- "Alessia is in the kitchen if you’re looking for her," someone says.

We thank them and head to the kitchen, where we find Alessia busily working at the stove. Alexia immediately volunteers to help her. As for Mapi and me, to avoid overcrowding the kitchen, Alessia suggests we take care of the drinks in the meantime, which delights Mapi to no end.

- "The garage door is here," Alessia shows us at the entrance. "Everything’s in the car trunk. Just put whatever you can in the fridge."

- "For the alcohol, I’ve set up a table here," Leah tells us, not far away.

- "Got it, we’ll handle that."

Everyone goes back to their tasks as Mapi and I head to the garage. It’s a very well-organized space, divided into three areas. The first area near the door has a lot of storage cabinets and even a collection of wine bottles that we definitely don’t have permission to touch. On the other side, there’s a workshop space that’s just as orderly. In the middle, there are two parking spaces, one of which is empty, presumably because their parents are using the car since they’re not here. We don’t waste any time and open the trunk, which is indeed full of various bottles. Since most people stayed in Manchester, we agreed that Leah and Alba would handle the shopping and we’d split the bill among the participants tonight. All we had to do was bring the money and list our preferences to make sure everyone was happy.

- "Wow, there’s enough here to really get hammered," comments Mapi. "Beer, vodka, tequila, Jack Daniel's..." she lists off as she sees them. "They thought of everything!"

- "Help me out instead of snooping!"

- "Yeah, yeah, easy there, mini-commander."

- "Shut up, idiot," I say with a small smile.

She mocks me while balancing several bottles in her arms. We start by filling the kitchen fridge, then the garage fridge that Leah showed us. After that, we set up the alcohol on the table in the living room, preparing the cups that go with it. For what we can’t store, we place them next to the garage fridge to refill it as needed. When we return to the kitchen, the girls have finished preparing the meat platters. We agreed to have a raclette grill, as it was the simplest and least troublesome option given our group size. All we had to do was prepare the platters, as the butcher had already cut the red and white meat. Alessia added some salads and sauces like mayonnaise and ketchup to go with it. Another raclette machine is supposed to be brought by Patri. Speaking of her, they just arrived, right as we finished the final preparations. Leah and Alba had time to change in the meantime. I’m surprised to see that they all made the effort to wear a dress tonight. Now it’s our turn to get ready for the party. Maya and Ella join us as we go upstairs. I learned that they’re from here, like Patri and Claudia. I also learned that the only person not coming tonight is Misa, who already had plans. I don’t know her very well, so it doesn’t really bother me. In a few minutes, Alessia’s room turns into a real mess. Six girls just invaded her space with a ton of clothes.

- "How about this?" I ask for their opinion, showing a pair of black jeans and a shirt.

- "Ugh. Are you kidding?" says Mapi. "Good thing I brought you some clothes."

Oh no… I’m already dreading this just from hearing that sentence. I knew she would bring me things without asking. I already regret it just seeing her pull out my navy blue dress with a long V-neckline. I love wearing it, but it wasn’t at all what I had in mind for tonight. She holds it up to the others, who gasp just at the sight of it. The back is covered in lace. As for the length, it reaches mid-thigh, like almost all the dresses Mapi managed to make me buy.

- "Oh my God!" exclaims Alexia. "It’s gorgeous! You have to wear it!"

- "Really?" I say, groaning.

- "Absolutely!" adds Ella. "It must look amazing on you!"

- "It looks incredible on her," agrees Mapi. "And don’t forget the heels, right?"

She says this while dangling the matching stilettos on her finger. I hate her so much right now. It’s like she chose my outfit without asking for my opinion.

- "I’m sure it’ll look great on you," comments Alessia.

- "Of course it’ll look good on her. Sexier than this and you die, right Batlle?" she says, slapping my butt.

I glare at her, knowing exactly what she’s trying to do. She’s trying to prove she’s right about Alessia.

- "Come on, go put it all on," urges Alexia.

She hands me everything and practically throws me out of the room, leaving me no choice but to pick another outfit. I sigh as I head to the bathroom to change. At least Mapi had the sense to think of everything. She brought me a pair of tights. She’s not my best friend for nothing. She knows I hate wearing a dress without tights. When I’m ready, I return to the room, and it’s no surprise that my outfit is approved. Then it’s Alexia’s turn, followed by Mapi and Alessia to change. Everyone has put on a dress, so I feel somewhat reassured. Mapi hasn’t had any trouble fitting in with my new friends so far. I’m glad she gets along with everyone. Then again, she’s never been unsociable, quite the opposite. I still wonder why she was so anxious. She especially gets along well with Alexia. My best friend’s extravagant personality blends perfectly with Alexia’s good mood. For the next part of the preparations, we return to our room to do our makeup. It’s impossible to do it in Alessia’s room, where we’d all be crammed.

- "Don’t you think Alessia has a thing for Ona?"

- "Stop with that," Mapi.

- "No, she’s absolutely right," agrees Alexia. "I wanted to talk to you about it before we left, but Bronze came too quickly. Even though your exchange was intense, she seemed to like that you’re lesbian."

- "Aha!" exclaims Mapi. "See!"

- "Yeah, yeah, whatever!" I roll my eyes.

Alexia teases us. Seeing that I’m not thrilled with the conversation, she changes the subject to our plans for the end of the evening. She still hasn’t changed her mind about joining her girlfriend. She’s very careful when she talks about it, knowing how I reacted in the messages. She must have realized I wasn’t too keen on the idea.

- "What’s the plan?" Mapi asks excitedly.

I had filled Mapi in. If I leave, it won’t be without her, which Alexia completely understands. Although I know she can handle herself alone, there’s no way I’m leaving her here.

- "If Alba finds out, we’re dead…" I whisper.

- "Don’t be a killjoy," Mapi exclaims. "If the love of your life were two blocks away, you’d go too. I know it! I’m surprised Alba doesn’t know, though. You seem close."

- "She’s very… protective," she grimaces. "If she knew who I’m dating, she’d lock me up for life."

She’s joking, but knowing Alba, it’s not far from the truth. I’ve never seen anyone so caring about their family as she is. It’s like Alexia is the most precious thing she has. That’s probably true.

- "So, where will your guy be?" she continues her questioning.

- "Not far. She’s spending the evening with her friends, maybe five or ten minutes’ walk away. We haven’t seen each other in a while, so I really want to go. She wasn’t too keen at first, but she finally gave in to my insistence."

- "So, if I sum up the situation, we just need to distract Alba long enough for us to leave. The best plan is to get her drunk, right?"

We laugh with Alexia. She’s just proving she’s still far from knowing my friends. Alba will probably be the last to get drunk tonight if we all start drinking. Over time, I’ve learned that she’s very attentive to those close to her and likes to look after the people she cares about.

- "I doubt she’ll drink much alcohol. Am I wrong?"

- "No, you’re right," Alexia sighs, shaking her head. "She’ll drink, but not to the point of forgetting the evening. But," she starts with a mischievous smile, "I want you to drink."

- "Me?" I ask in surprise when she points at me. "Why?"

- "Because this is the first party we’re having together. I know you drink at parties, and I want us to go crazy, like it’s our first and last night together."

I smile sadly. I know exactly what she’s thinking. Will we get to have another night like this? Tonight is an exception, and no one can say if it will happen again.

- "Bronze won’t be happy if she finds out…"

The words slip out before I can stop them. Once again, she’s the first thing I think of. I know she kind of gave me a free pass for tonight, but I promised her I’d be reasonable. Knowing that I didn’t listen to her will bother me more than I’d like to admit. Mapi groans in frustration.

- "Stop thinking about her for two seconds," she grumbles. "She’s not your mother, and you have the right to have fun."

- "I know, but… I don’t know," I shrug. "I just don’t feel the need anymore."

- "You say that now. We’ll see after your third drink."

I chuckle, shaking my head in amusement. She’s probably right. Mapi often plays bartender for me at parties. If she serves me things that go down like water, I’ll probably break my promises quickly.

- "I don’t want to lie to her when I get back, and we’ll definitely talk about the party."

- "No one’s asking you to lie. Just leave out that little detail."

My best friend’s determination makes me sigh. I won’t win on this topic. If she’s decided to make me drink, she’ll do it, and she’ll succeed. She has this persuasive influence over me that I can never resist. Sometimes I wonder who would win between her and Lucy now that she’s in my life. Has she dethroned her? I can’t say at this moment. Our conversation is interrupted by Alessia, who comes to check if we’re ready. We’re surprised to see it’s already seven o’clock. It seems everyone is already waiting for us downstairs.

- "We’re coming," Alexia announces.

She nods, lingering a bit. I realize when I turn around that she’s looking at me a little longer than the others before quickly leaving and closing the door behind her. The girls giggle, teasing me about the moment. After that, we decide to head down to start our last night of the year. We greet the last to arrive, Laia, before sitting in the remaining seats. Leah and Alba did a great job setting up the little appetizer table. They added chairs so everyone has a place. Of course, I’m seated between Alexia and Mapi. My eyes linger on the many appetizers arranged on the small living room table in front of us.

- "Alessia made everything this morning," Leah, who’s sitting next to Mapi, tells me.

- "Impressive," I say sincerely.

- "I know, right? She was on a mission. No one could stop her," she says with a laugh.

I smile timidly before looking around. I’m happy to be here. I really missed everyone. I feel like I belong here with them.

- "So, what can I get you guys?" she asks the group.

The evening starts off slowly. The drinks so far range between beer and champagne. I opted for a glass of champagne, as I'm not particularly fond of the other option. This drink is tricky because it doesn’t taste strong, but it can go to your head quickly if you don’t eat something with it. The first conversation revolves around our holidays and Christmas. I realize that it was a disaster for most people.

- "No way, seriously?" Alba laughs. "Your dad gave you condoms for Christmas?"

- "Don’t laugh, Girl," Patri responds. "He said it was time for me to find a someone. It's like he’s afraid I that I’ll end up alone."

I sink into my chair as my friends laugh. Mapi Is very touchy with me and It seems she’s not planning to stop anytime soon as she kisses me on the corner of my lips. Her intention hits me immediately when I see Alessia's eyes, half surprised, half upset. Mapi is trying to provoke her to prove she’s right, and I’m forced to admit she is. I must be appealing to Alessia, given her reactions. I feel sorry for her that it’s not mutual. I sigh and gently pull away from my best friend. No one comments on the little moment. They must have noticed by now that Mapi is important to me. She’s the only one I let touch me freely.

- "I forbid you from doing that," I growl at Mapi immediately.

- "You won’t stop me," she retorts with a playful smile.

- "I’m giving you credit. Now stop."

- « No," she smiles even more. "You’ll see, it’s going to spice up our evening. »

- « You two were dating right ? » Alessia ask

-« Yep » I answer

- "At least you’ve managed to keep your friendship," Alba says.

- "Our friendship was too valuable to lose. We’ve become pillars for each other," Mapi replies.

After that little exchange, the evening continues, though I remain a bit on edge. Knowing Mapi, she’ll stick to her plan just to have fun tonight. Her inevitable bluntness doesn’t reassure me, and I’m worried Alessia won’t get through the night unscathed. Alexia seems to be in on it, as every time Mapi drops a hint about our past relationship in a conversation, Alexia insists on getting more details, further crushing Alessia with each revelation. Everyone is always surprised by what my ex says, as if they’re discovering a bit more about me with each little snippet of my past before I became who I am now.

We sit around the table around eight o’clock. Everyone’s already had at least three drinks. Mapi managed to position us opposite Alessia so that she can clearly see Mapi’s hand resting on my thigh under the table. Alexia can’t stop quietly laughing, watching Alessia simmer. She even asked us if we were back together, referencing our necklaces. Mapi delighted in telling her no, but that we care a lot about each other. I think Alessia might lose it before the night is over.

We eat while mostly talking about school. Leah recounts all the antics she’s gotten up to since her arrival, and the others quickly join in. I realize that no one at Camp Wiegman is really serious. They’re just lucky no one’s there to notice. If I were in their place, Lucy would’ve had my head for everything they’re describing. Bottles of wine are being passed around since Alessia offered us some sweet white wine. I recently discovered that it’s my guilty pleasure, so I couldn’t refuse. I’ve been drinking only that since she brought it out, it’s so good. Mapi wisely put a stop to it so I wouldn’t be drunk before midnight, and she’s right to do so. I almost forgot for a moment that I’m supposed to stay reasonable.

- "So, are you still studying, Mapi?" Claudia asks.

- "Yeah, in mechanical engineering."

- "Seriously? I like you more and more," Patri responds.

- "I’ve always liked anything related to mechanics," she shrugs. "I got into school thanks to Ona’s support."

- "Don’t say that, you would’ve gotten in regardless."

- "Maybe, but it was mostly your support that encouraged me to apply. You were there when I needed it most. We stick together, remember?"

I smile as I fist bump her. It’s true, we’ve always been like that. Just because I went through a rough patch doesn’t mean I abandoned my principles when I came back. I’ve always been there to help her when she needed my support, whether before or after my time with Feli. As for her studies, that was just before. She was really down about choosing her field. She didn’t know what to pursue, so I encouraged her to follow her dream, without worrying about what her family thought. Mostly her parents, actually. There was a real rift between them after her choice. They never saw her in that field at all. Yet, she doesn’t regret it one bit now, even though her parents have become even more distant.

The meal eventually ends. Everyone helps clean up. We take a break before having dessert. The girls dive into the alcohol, as does Alessia, who’s decided not to hold back tonight. My friends can’t get enough of her reactions. Poor thing, if only she knew that Mapi is doing it on purpose. I really feel for her.

We continue with the other bottles of alcohol we had brought out. Mapi chose tequila shots for the two of us. She’s starting off strong, making us take several in a row, but not enough to be out of it. I know when to stop, and I’m especially careful to snack between drinks to balance it out. We’ve turned up the music that’s been playing in the background since the beginning. As usual, Mapi drags me to dance even though I hate it. We’re quickly joined by Alexia, as well as Ella and a few other. Alessia joined us when Mapi started having fun dancing close with me like she does at almost all our parties.

We eventually return to the table when we decide to have dessert around eleven o’clock. We opted for ice cream with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Some people had coffee with it. This break was short-lived as we quickly moved on to some drinking games. For once, I managed to escape. I didn’t feel like participating when I remembered my last few parties. Mapi surprisingly left me alone. I suppose it’s thanks to Alexia, who decided to stay with me. We laugh at Patri, who is really getting drunk, unable to hold her alcohol. Surprisingly, Lotte is also feeling the effects, and even Alba is starting to let loose, much to her sister’s delight.

Midnight is approaching. There are only a few minutes left before we ring in the new year. We’ve stopped everything to gather in the living room. Leah is busy filling glasses while Alessia finds a channel doing the countdown on the TV. Once everything is ready, we just wait for the countdown, which isn’t far off. We all shout it out loud together.

- "Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven… Six… Five… Four… Three… Two… One… HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

I take hold of my two friends who had the idea to jump on me at the same time. We go around and kiss everyone. We even had some surprises when Patri suddenly kissed Claudia. Mapi confessed that she gave Patri the idea after seeing them practically devouring each other with their eyes. Mapi won’t let go of me and even forces me to dance with her. I really hope this year is the one where I can finally start fresh. So far, it’s off to a great start. I’ve never felt so well surrounded. The changes I’ve been waiting for are finally happening, little by little.

#woso #lucy bronze #woso community #ona batlle #barca femeni #woso soccer #lionesses #sefutbol fem #ona batlle x lucy bronze #leah williamson #mapi leon #alexia putellas

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stelly38 · 5 months ago

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I thought Cambridge Spies was *the* most British thing I’d ever seen, until I watched Maurice shortly after. I’m still on my Toby Stephens kick, which explains Cambridge Spies, and lord, is he pretty in it. But I also wanted to ogle the very young, stunningly beautiful Hugh Grant in Maurice, so I watched both.

I nursed a bit of a crush on Grant back in his Four Weddings days, around the same time as Maurice, but I’d honestly forgotten how incredibly, ethereally gorgeous he was, like some androgynous nymph out of a Waterhouse painting, smooth and luscious, too perfect to be real. For the record, I do love today's older, rougher Hugh, who has managed, over time, to turn ass-hole-ish curmudgeonliness into a charming brand all his own.

My overall impression of Merchant Ivory flicks is that they are much like paintings: pretty to look at, and if you stare long enough, something in your field of view eventually moves, but it takes, like, days. Days. I don’t know if my attention span has been worn down over the decades like everyone else’s, or if these movies need some tighter editing, but good lord, at two hours and twenty minutes, not much happens in Maurice. Or is it EM Forster? Maurice is a Forster adaptation; and similarly, so is A Room with a View, which also flows like molasses. I’ll never know if it’s the writing or the editing, because I’ve never read anything of Forster’s except for Room, which I attempted when I was a teenager and quit halfway through, because what in the fuck was he going onnnnn about? And I even had a better attention span back then, in the nineties. I said to my husband after Maurice ended, perhaps he and I needed a course on Forster to truly appreciate the literature and the movie adaptations. It’s unlikely to happen, but there it is.

Maurice follows the lead character, played by James Wilby, as he discovers and wrestles with his latent homosexuality. Hugh Grant plays Clive Durham, Maurice’s good school friend and first (unconsummated) love. The two men pal around London and the countryside as they age well into their twenties, spending time together and apart, both grappling with their sexual identities in different ways. The movie also casts a very cute Rupert Graves as Maurice’s first lover, and Ben Kingsley (with hair and a weird American accent—what a hoot) appears in a cameo as a shrink who attempts to hypnotize Maurice into heterosexuality.

My bitching isn’t a condemnation of Forster or Merchant Ivory; the film was a rather pretty little trifle to look at. I thought the story was good, and I love that a major film studio was tackling the horrors of being gay in Edwardian England so long ago (1987, when AIDS was still considered “the gay cancer.” —Hats off to them.) And I’m always game to watch pretty boys cavorting about. There was a good deal of that, one scene with full frontal nudity (gasp!)

Speaking of pretty boys, several feature in Cambridge Spies, which takes place about thirty years after Maurice, shortly before WWII. The prettiest of them is Toby Stephens, who is just dashing dressed in wide leg trousers, fedoras, and the well-tailored suits of the era. He plays Kim Philby, one of the notorious Soviet spies that comprised the group known in real life as the Cambridge Five. Rupert Penry Jones plays Donald Maclean; Samuel West is Anthony Blunt, and Tom Hollander is Guy Burgess. Since American public-school curriculum doesn’t teach any history but its own, (much of which is white-washed lies, but that’s a kvetch for another day), I never knew about the British turncoats until I watched this, which was last week. Yay for me.

Spies is a four-part miniseries, the last two episodes of which are far, far more entertaining and engaging than the first two. It’s good they decided to balance the episodes thusly, as I was ready to throw in the towel after the second one. The only reason I continued on was because I’d already invested time in watching the first 50 percent—in for a penny, in for a pound. I think the writers wanted the first two episodes for back-story and character development, but there is little that reveals the principals’ various motivations for spying other than that they were all friends at Cambridge, and they shared a deep hatred of fascism. Weird that that was all it took, right? I dunno, maybe I missed something—these were the two most boring episodes.

The entire series really belongs to Tom Hollander. He steals every scene he’s in; he has the best lines, the most cuttingly funny remarks, and he’s the craziest and loosest cannon of the bunch, hence, the most entertaining. Previously, I’d only known his work from 2005’s Pride and Prejudice (the boiled potatoes), and from his creepily-repressed turn as art critic John Ruskin in Desperate Romantics. He’s great and memorable in those, but he is phenomenal in Spies.

Hollander’s Burgess, as well as West’s Anthony Blunt, are gay men, compelling because they'd opted into an overwhelmingly straight-male power structure: espionage. Spies doesn’t really speak to this much, rather than to have Hollander portray Burgess as an out and proud gay man, I suppose as much as one could be on the brink of WWII in England. But it is striking to see the difference just three decades made in how gays were perceived by English society (or not) when you compare the attitudes on display in Maurice to those in Spies. Homosexuality was the worst sin one could commit in the world of Maurice; but by the time we get to Spies, it’s barely an issue. I suspect that homosexuality was still offensive to many in England at the time, as that country’s decriminalization law only took effect in 1967, but for some reason unknown to me, the writers and producers of Spies made it mostly a non-issue.

Overall, Spies was a good series, educational for me, at least, and I got to stare at Toby Stephens for four hours, including a couple safe-for-granny sex scenes. Would I write home about the show? —probably not, but it was not wasted time.

Tom Hollander’s best scene (and they’re all good) is a tantrum he throws during a trip to the States, where he drives across suburban lawns, destroying several white picket fences, then stands atop his car screaming “God Bless America” (in a good American accent), and decries this country’s never-acknowledged social and political hypocrisy.

Brilliant. And funny.

#period dramas #cambridge spies #maurice #toby stephens #tom hollander #hugh grant #my reviews

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wannaeatramyeon · 2 years ago

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Big Deal... Clubbing/Drunk Headcanons

(It was time for my monthly reread of Jake Kim and One Night II arc... So here's some brainrot)

Assuming everyone is of age, or just gets let in cos they look like 30yr olds... don't you think Big Deal would be the funnest group to party with?

Imagine all the guys drunk, dancing with shitty cheesy moves and someone getting hoisted in the air, chanting "SINU! SINU! SINU!" then the bouncers get involved.

Note: everyone here exc Samuel unapologetically loves fruity colourful cocktails. And it goes without saying the rizz of Big Deal is unmatched.

Samuel Seo

Inferiority complex comes out in the form of buying drinks for everyone

"What? You think I can't afford this? NEXT ROUND ON ME"

Doesn't like to dance but gets dragged by the rest of the crew

The one guy that always takes their top off when drunk

Bouncers threaten to throw him out whilst rest of Big Deal try to wrestle his clothing back on

Sinu

Loud emotional drunk

Loves dancing, pulls up everyone on the dancefloor

Tells everyone how proud he is of them and cries on their shoulder

Tells massively embellished stories about Big Deal to anyone that would listen

Talks about Yeonhui ALL THE TIME, how she's the prettiest, the best, he's going to marry her etc.

Jake Kim

Another loud drunk

So cheesy, thinks he's the funniest guy. Amplified by 100 with alcohol. Puns, one liners, joke, all accompanied with the sloppiest wink

Would tell a joke, wait for your reaction and if you don't laugh "hey did you hear what I said??"

Shows off his butt to all the guys (not the ladies) in the club while they ooh and aah and ask for his workout routine. "NICE GLUTES BRO, WHAT YOU SQUAT"

Definitely the I love you broooo type, goes round kissing everyone on the cheek. Has his lipbalm at the ready

Jerry Kwon

[sips juice through straw]

Confiscates Sinu's phone to prevent drunk dialling or texting Yeonhui

Usually plays the peacemaker if the boys are too boisterous

Bops along to the music, loves if any cheesy pops or ballads are played

So much fun on the dancefloor. Knows all the latest trending dance moves

Brad Lee

Can not let go of Jane Kim and Brenda

Takes it too far, and drunk Jake is like "you sure? you really leaving Big Deal to be a nail artist?"

Loves talking about 'philosophical' bullshit

Thinks he's clever af but actually saying shit like "crazy how our skin is waterproof"

The one that suggests the sloppy drunk food at 4am as they stagger home

Jason Yoon

Vibin, chill, enjoyin the club

The wildest dance moves. Incorporates kicks everywhere

Hits too many drinks then gets confrontational

"SAMUEL YOU DID NOT UNITE THE NORTH AND SOUTH KOREA"

"I SAID I UNITED THE HIGH SCHOOLS YOU FUCK"

Gets apologetic, cries a little

Tells everyone about Jeju Island, gets homesick, cries a bit more

Lineman

Listens to everyones bullshit with wide eyes and sincerity "REALLY???"

Braincells literally dying in real time as he drinks "JAKE, BRAD SAID HE WAS LEAVING TO BE AN ARTIST??"

Will not be corrected on any misinformation

Very affectionate, open admiration for everyone in the crew "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE!"

Samuel's BFF when drunk, the praises are good for his ego

Lua Im

Crazy giggly

Finds everything hilarious EXCEPT Jake. Literally stops dead mid-laugh after catching his jokes

Has lots of white knights trying rescue her from the gangsters (Big Deal)

She punches them instead

LUA IS ACTUALLY THE ONE THAT GETS THEM THROWN OUT

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bastardtrait · 3 months ago

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oh what's that? side characters? this is a teenage miss Diamond Feng, who was made by @simsandgiggles for me literally years ago. like probably 2020. she has FINALLY made her debut.

Diamond: i'm just happy to be included :)

she comes with a family: her parents Jillian Feng, Samuel Shibasaki, and her baby brother Phoenix. tbh her original bio stated that she was a great-great etc etc... granddaughter of Lillian and Victor, but since Lillian appeared in this generation unwittingly, she'll just be a regular granddaughter. and am I saying that that means Lillian Feng named her daughter Jillian? why...yes. I guess I am.

anyway Diamond and Jillian are not friends. lmao. eldest Asian daughters roll call in the comments tbh.

Jillian: daughter. you look like you enjoyed breakfast well today.

Diamond: thank you. you yourself look like you were the prettiest girl in school forty years ago.

#sims 4 #nova legacy #nlgen8 #diamond feng #jillian feng #samuel shibasaki #phoenix feng

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fishcowwrites · 2 months ago

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Bathtub - Chapter Two

chapter one

Elder Brian Neeley from The Book of Mormon

Songfic based on Bathtub by The Front Bottoms

Slight Neeley/Davis

WARNINGS: violence, mentions of blood, suicide, death, overdose, self-harm, and some descriptions of such

1.5k Words crossposted on ao3 under cut

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Screaming. So much screaming. Blood. Blood staining their shirts and their hands and their memories.

Zachary Davis found Brian Neeley dead in the shower. He almost looked like an angel, with a crown of bubbles and blood red ruby bracelets around his wrists. In a twisted way, he was the prettiest thing that Zachary had ever see. There were papers resting on the sink; shaky handwriting spelling out Brian’s final words. Zachary knelt down, gently taking one of Brian’s cold hands into his own.

All the elders had swarmed to the bathroom when they heard Zachary scream. Connor had pushed his way to the front, coming to a stop when he saw Brian. Hurriedly, he tried to block the elders from seeing him, but it was too late.

John caught glimpse and immediately knew what had happened. It was all too familiar, the sight of Brian’s lifeless body. But this time he was too late.

Carefully, Connor picked up the letters. There were a few, three pages total. But before he could read it, John had snatched it from his hands. Connor didn’t fight it. He knew how close the two of them were. John scanned the pages, tears filling his eyes. Screwing his eyes tight, he passed one of the papers to Connor. John tucked the second into his own pocket before offering the last one to Zachary. Wordlessly, he accepted it, still holding Brian’s hand.

Dear Zach,

I’m sorry it ended like this. There were so many things I wanted to tell you. So many things I wanted to do with you. I don’t know how much you know or how much you’ve figured out, but I figured that I need to say it before I go. I love you, Zachary Davis. I’ve loved you ever since those nights we spent together in silence. I wish I could have told you this sooner. I wish I could have told you this face to face. I don’t know if you love me. I wish I could know if you love me. I wish we could have figured things out. I have many regrets, and you are my biggest one. But I can’t keep living like this. I have to leave, and I’m sorry that I’ve left you behind. I know this isn’t fair, and I’m sorry for that as well. If you hate me now, I understand.

Regretfully with love, Brian

Zachary wanted to scream. He wanted to scream so loud that any god left in the cold universe could hear him. But he didn’t. Instead, he sat there as the world spun around him. People were crying and yelling, but he couldn’t hear anything. Gotswana pushed past him; someone must have brought him in. He was trying to move Brian, but Zachary wouldn’t let him. He was clinging to Brian’s hand like it was the only thing keeping it sane. And maybe it was.

It took 3 people to pry him off of the body. The sounds of screaming suddenly filled his ears, and it was only the scratching in his throat that told him that it was coming from him. The sound that had been sucked from the world had come back at full force, assaulting Zachary with noise from all angles.

Chris Thomas was sobbing in a corner. Almost immediately after his sister had died, he had been sent to Uganda. All the elders had worked to help him with his problems, but Brian’s death seemed to have brought back all of his trauma.

James Church sat in the corner with his arms wrapped around Chris, staring at nothing. All the commotion and yelling seemed to have triggered something deep inside him too. He seemed shell-shocked, with his eyes wide as he muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

Samuel Michaels was rocking back and forth in the middle of the common space, almost giggling to himself. He turned desperately towards anyone who passed by, begging for them to tell him that none of it was real. Tears streamed down his face as he banged his hands on the ground, pleading to just wake up from this nightmare.

Shane Zelder was pacing back and forth in the kitchen, demanding answers from the air. He was shouting at Connor, asking how this could have happened. He was shouting at Gotswana, asking why he couldn’t save Brian. He shouted at the other elders, demanding to know how none of them could have realized what was going on. All the questions for himself went unspoken, instead being channelled through his fist and into the wall.

Kevin Price was nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t unreasonable to guess that he had retreated to his room, seeing as how he always went there when things became too much. But everyone could hear his screams, no matter how much he tried to smother them into his pillow.

Arnold Cunningham was wailing on the couch in the common room. Nabulungi tried her best to comfort him, but nothing seemed to be working. Being stuck as a disappointment to his parents, he felt like everything was his fault. And Brian’s death was just another one of his screw-ups.

Connor Mckinley didn’t know what to do. He was supposed to be their leader, the one with all the solutions. But now, he had nothing. Desperately, he tried to find order amidst the chaos. All the elders were gently escorted to their rooms, and Brian’s body was taken to Gotswana’s hut, where it would stay until they could figure out what to do. Connor simply nodded when James quietly asked if he could take Chris to their room. He stood in the common space, trying to hold it together for the sake of the two people left in the room. John and Zachary had both fallen completely silent, with John sitting on and staring at the floor, and Zachary sat on the couch with his head in his hands.

“What do we tell his family?” The question, though whispered, rung through the silent room. Suddenly, a short, harsh, laugh came from John.

“What do you mean, family? He had nobody. Or did you just assume that everyone came from a nice, loving home like you?” Connor shook his head, trying to keep his own tears from spilling.

“I-I don’t-“ John stood up suddenly, pressing into Connor’s space.

“His only ‘family’ was that dick that you all-“ John gestured wildly towards the bedrooms “cussed out a month ago. Yeah,” Connor had opened his mouth, but John cut him off. “That’s right. The mission president. The very same one who excommunicated us.” “I’m-I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t know any of this. How did I not know any of this?” Tears were now flowing freely down Connor’s face as John rolled his eyes and let out another short bark of laughter.

“Of course you wouldn’t. Why would the famed mission president take ownership of the drunk driver who crashed his car and screwed random girls at parties? No, he was ashamed of Brian. Funny, too, because he was the one who took him in in the first place. Did Brian not tell you that either? He was abandoned by his real. Left in a basket by the church. Taken in by the ever gracious president. And he never let Brian forget it.”

John had pushed Connor up against the wall with tears streaming down both their faces. Zachary sat still on the sofa, seeming to have not heard anything.

“Just forget it. It doesn’t matter anymore.” John mumbled, before quietly retreating to his now-empty room. Connor stood there a while more, crying a little longer before faintly bidding Zachary goodnight as he went back to his room as well, leaving Zachary on his own. He stayed there on that couch through the whole horrible night.

The funeral was a week later. Brian Neeley was buried at the base of a beautiful tree, with a small bed of flowers planted around it. The ceremony was small, with only a few people from the village in addition to the elders. John managed to say a few words before Connor had to take over.

Zachary couldn’t bring himself to attend the funeral, though. It was all too much. Everything felt suffocatingly small but all too big at once. Later that day, he told Connor he was going back home. Or more accurately, going back to the US. Connor tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen. He had to leave.

With two members down, District 9 began to crumble. Elder after elder left Uganda, either to return to their families or to try and start a new life on their own.

John was the last to leave. He didn’t want to leave Brian behind. But what could he do? Nothing. But there was nothing he could ever do. That’s why Brian was gone.

As he knelt at his grave one last time, John wondered if Brian would ever find it in his heart to forgive him.

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finally fucking finished it hooray. hope you enjoyed

#fanfic #fanfiction #book of mormon #tbom #writing

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kyriat-stories · 10 months ago

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A couple of months later there were new visitors in Manthos.

- My dearest Yousif! I can't believe you are here!

- Sister! You are just as beautiful as I remember, time has been kind to you. You must be the prettiest woman in Manthos!

- Pff! Goofus! Now who is this handsome young man?

- That's my son Samuel, Fifi! Unless you were referring to me?

- Haha! You haven't changed a bit! Now come in!

- I'm so glad you are here my brother. It's been too long.

- I agree. We are so happy to be here, sister, and I'm really sorry to hear that your health is not the best.

- I am an old woman you know, it was bound to happen sooner or later. But let's not dwell on that. You should find something to eat, Kyria Noor has prepared some lovely dishes.

- Don't you want to eat with us sister?

- I don't have much appetite these days, but I will keep you company for a little while. How long will you be staying in Manthos?

- We haven't really decided, but at least until next full moon.

- Good, then we have time. We have a lot to talk about.

After setteling in for a few days it was time to pay a courtesy visit to Eira, who had invited them for a glass of wine. Even if Yousif Eláïom and his son talked fluent Simsk, they had foreign manners. Eira felt a bit awkward at first, but later found it quite charming.

- Dear Kyria Simintha, it's such a joy to meet you. We had the pleasure of meeting your husband several years ago. I'm delighted to see he has such a beautiful family.

Khará and Bansabira were excited to meet a new and handsome bachelor, and it seemed the excitement was mutual.

- So how is your sister Kyrie Eláïom? Is she feeling better?

- Please call me Yousif. Unfortunately my sister is not much better. I'm glad we dropped everything and came immediately, because it seems we came in nick of time. Thank you so much for calling upon us.

- Actually it was my sister Noor's idea, I'm not sure if you have met her yet?

- I have! A very charming lady, much like yourself!

Eira blushed a tiny bit. She wasn't used to getting so many compliments, and didn't know how to respond.

- Oh dear, she thought, I hope he doesn't misunderstand my friendliness...

Previous | Index | Character overview | Next

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boyinatown · 2 years ago

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Samuel, the daddy ( litereally )

Might make a part 2 of Samuel being a dad !

Scenario : you and Samuel have sex, you both had a baby fever luckily it worked out. 💙

Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, backshots, Samuel seo ⚠️

Reader : Female 🍒

“ yeah, you feel that? Does that feel good ? I can feel my self poking out of your stomach fuck..the prettiest girl all mine”

You were looking through your teary lashes down at where you both were connected, and indeed his cock DID poke out. His big rough hands pushing on the bulge.

You trembling under his touch aching for more, and yet you only started.. you were so desperate and oh you needed him SO badly.

“ what’s wrong? You want me to move..? Does it feel good when I do, THIS.” Thrusting up into you the bed creaks and you grip the sheets for stability but you soon loose it when he kept rutting.

“It’s ok, just relax…stop being a whiner , it’ll feel good I promise . Your doing good so far, my pretty woman”

He moved some hair strands out of your face, and stroked your cheek before smashing his lips onto yours. You hold onto his neck and he starts fucking you to deep Into the mattress .

“ look at you, your so messy.. Does it feel good? You know I feel good to.. ah I can’t get enough of you.”

your bodies pressed together , his arms swallowing you whole and just giving and giving you what you couldn’t take and he knew you were overstimulated.. but he loved seeing you ruined.

You scratch at his back and cry against his ears out of pleasure still wanting more of him. Who is he to disobey your wish?

Feeling him turn you around, your ass up face down he gives you no time to adjust before plunging his self back into your pussy.

he keeps your head down silencing your moans and whines , just keep fucking and breeding is what goes on replay in his head. He wants to see you pregnant and he damn right WILL.

“ hey, it’s ok if I come inside right? You will allow me right, I mean I pleasured you. Let me see you round with my kids ok? I’ll mhhh make you the best fuckin mom.”

You were obviously To fucked out and you had this baby fever before fucking, a win win situation.

He still waited for your answer , when you looked back with those eyes and a fucked out smile and answering with a “ yes Samuel , please fill me up, make me your pregnant wife.”

He let his mind take over and absolutely destroyed your insides, then filled them up nicely like he said he would. Finally letting go of your hair he hugs you.

He Loves the idea of you as his wife , his pregnant wife. Just him being Samuel the Dad, his heart thumped.

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theoddcatlady · 1 year ago

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The Girl Named Bea

I met her while I was weeding the flower garden.

I had just about finished up when I heard someone clear their throat behind me. They may have been trying to get my attention for a while, I had my headphones in and the only reason I heard anything was because I was in between songs.

“Sorry, sorry,” I pulled out an earbud and scrambled to my feet, “I didn’t hear you back… there…”

My voice got choked up in my throat as I stared into the soft dark eyes of the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Her golden hair came down in waves past her shoulders and she had a smile like sunshine. She quietly laughed. “I wasn’t waiting long. You seemed to be enjoying your music, anyway.” She offered me her hand. “My name is Bea.”

Her name could’ve been Mud and I would’ve thought it was the prettiest name in the world. “Um, I’m Cassie, but everyone just calls me Cass,” I shook her hand, inwardly kicking myself as I saw I got dirt all over her hand. “Shit, I’m sorry-”

Bea laughed again, just brushing her hand off on her skirt. “A little dirt won’t kill me. Sorry, I’m just trying to find the Lakeview Cemetery?”

“Oh, you’re not far,” I pointed down the street, “Just down the ways, take a right at Petunia Road, it’ll be on the left. If you hit Black Street, you’ve gone too far and you’ll need to turn around.”

Bea turned to look, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I see. You visit often?” She asked.

I nodded. “It’s where my parents are buried. I try to go every other week. If you need to pick up flowers, Mary’s Garden is right nearby. Tell her you’re there to pick something up for a deceased relative or friend and she’ll give you a good deal-”

“It’s you!”

I nearly tripped over my feet to look up at the door. My grandfather was leaning against the door frame, with an expression like he had seen a ghost. “Grandpa, what are you doing out of bed!?” I rushed to his side, all thoughts about the pretty girl in my front yard gone. “You need to be resting.” Resting wouldn’t change his rapidly approaching fate, but it would make him more comfortable when the time came.

He pointed a shaky finger at Bea. “It’s you. I know it’s you. How… where’s Francis? Is he still with you?” He asked.

The woman blinked owlishly before her eyes widened in recognition. “Robert! The years have changed you, I am terribly sorry for not realizing you were still living here.” She looked at me before curtsying. “I’ll come talk to you again, I have to be going.”

“Bye,” I said, waving as I watched Bea return to her car. She opened the door and held it open just for a second to let a young man poke his head out. He wasn’t nearly as graceful as Bea when he seemingly recognized my grandfather, his jaw dropping and eyes nearly popping out of his head.

He dived back into the car before Bea slipped in and it drove off. I looked at my grandfather, who looked like he’d experienced a shock. “Do I need to call Dr. Samuel-”

“I just need to be alone for a bit.” My grandfather shuffled back to his bedroom, leaving me alone.

It wasn’t until the sun was going down that he called me into his bedroom.

My grandfather was a quiet man, I’d never known him to make the outburst like the one earlier that day. Even when I entered the room, he just pointed to his closet. “Check behind the coats, there’s a photo frame,” He said.

I moved aside old coats and a far outdated tuxedo to find the photo frame. I brought it out and sat beside my grandfather’s bed to get a better look.

The picture inside was faded and black and white, but I could recognize a much younger version of my grandfather sitting out on the front porch, his arm wrapped around a black teenager about his age. “I’ve never seen this picture before,” I said, tilting it side to side. When Grandma had been alive, she’d shown me her albums again and again, even as the cancer wasted her away.

“I keep it just for myself. His name is Francis.”

I nodded while reaching for my cellphone. “Listen, grandpa, you’re a little tired, how about I call-”

“Listen to me, Cassandra!” My grandfather snapped, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. “You bring up calling the damn doctor again and I’m sending you to your room!”

Even with me being twenty-one, that was a very real threat. I sunk down in my chair, deciding not to question him any more. “Who is Francis, Grandpa?” I asked.

He calmed down and looked back at the photo. I saw a touch of a smile on his lips. “… Francis was my best friend. See, his father saved mine. After that my father referred to him as a brother- white and colored was never an issue. Our families were close, I was just a few days younger than Francis. We never could attend the same schools or play together in the park, but if I wasn’t at his home he was at mine. If he couldn’t sleep, he would sneak in through my bedroom window and we’d stay up just talking about anything and everything under the sun. I had his back, he had mine. We were just as close as our fathers.”

The story was heartwarming, but there was certainly a part nagging at me. “Why have you never talked about Francis before then?” I asked.

That smile on my grandfather’s face vanished.

“Because I never wanted to think of him again.”

He handed me the frame to hold as he told me the story.

“It was probably a week after this photo was taken that we met her. We were on a walk through the woods, we took a lot of those. Just so we couldn’t be bothered by people who thought a black man and a white man couldn’t be friends. We were on the way back when we heard a car refusing to turn over. Francis insisted we take the right path to see if someone needed help. I followed, he was always the leader out of the two of us. We didn’t expect to see such a nice car way back where we were, but what we didn’t really expect to see the behemoth of a man poking away at the engine… or the girl standing beside the car, her dress spattered in mud as she shivered in the cold. She looked up at us and her eyes met Francis’… and I knew it was all over then. Because he looked at her and he fell in love.”

“Who was she?” I asked.

“She was Bea.”

“You mean she looked like Bea?”

He shook his head. “No, I mean that the Bea you talked to today was the same Bea standing on the road next to the car that wouldn’t start.” He scowled as he saw me open my mouth. “I’m not crazy, you know I still have all my marbles. You shut it and listen.”

I closed my mouth.

“Good girl… now where was I...” My grandfather’s eyes went glassy as he was transported to a much different time. “Right. Francis was just about frozen in place so I had to shout out and ask if they were all right. Turns out they’d stopped for a picnic and when they got back damn thing wouldn’t start. That’s when Francis’ brain started working again and he offered his help, he was pretty handy with cars. I just sat with the giant as Francis got to work and started chatting with Bea. I found out his name was Sten but we didn’t really talk, we just watched Bea and Francis interact, and let me tell you- you could tell the attraction was mutual by the way she laughed and how she’d brush her fingers against his arm. I think Francis was disappointed when the car finally got running, but I’ll admit I was relieved. I didn’t know what she had going through her head, flirting with Francis like that.”

“I thought the color of Francis’ skin didn’t matter,” I said.

My grandfather shook his head. “Cass, you have to remember where we live. About three years before a black man was accused of groping a white woman. No evidence, it was just what her brother said what happened. What happened to that poor bastard…” My grandfather shuddered, “It wasn’t human. Humans don’t do that to other humans. I was worried about Francis’ safety. I gave him an earful on the way home about it. He was a bit embarrassed but he realized where I was coming from. I was worried for him. He promised me he’d be more careful and that was that… or so I thought.”

My grandfather took back the picture frame and removed the back. He took out a photo hidden behind the other one and placed it on his lap.

This one was slightly better quality. I now knew what my grandfather meant by behemoth, the one man standing next to Francis was an absolute giant. Next to them stood two women, one crossing her arms and trying to look serious while a woman of Asian descent was practically leaning all of her weight on the serious woman, clearly laughing and having a good time.

“Sten, Francis, Alana, and Lihua.”

My grandfather pointed at each of them when he said their name. “So many things you can’t see in this picture… Alana’s hair was so red you’d think it’d somehow find a way of bleeding into these old picture. Lihua had the most joyful laugh, when she got going the whole town could hear it. I never saw her without a smile. Sten’s arms were covered in this old scars, I never got the story for all of them but he was a warrior, a soldier in another life, he told me.”

I leaned in close to the picture. “Who are these people?” I asked.

“They were Bea’s.”

Leaning back in the bed, my grandfather sighed. “Almost two weeks after we found her stranded on the side of the road, I would’ve forgotten all about it. But when we were heading home after work, we were suddenly surrounded by Bea’s two girlfriends. Lihua looped her arm in with Francis’, Alana put hers with mine, and they pulled us down the street towards a car as they chatted us up like we were old friends. I’d thought I was about to get robbed when I recognized who was driving that car- it was Sten. Alana and Lihua drew straws to see who would be walking, there wasn’t enough spots for us all to sit, Lihua lost and proceeded to call Alana a bitch before laughing and starting to walk. Sten drove us to probably one of the nicest houses in town, and that’s when we had tea with Bea.”

My grandfather rolled his eyes. “She said she always had a taste for the dramatic. Any advice I gave Francis he promptly forgot and the two flirted the whole. Damn. Time. I mean, by then I realized she wasn’t just trying to get Francis in trouble, she’d had him brought to her just so they could be on a date. But I still didn’t trust her. She was strange. Something about her just didn’t sit right with me.”

He paused for a while. “… But when she came to me, asking for my help to find ways to keep seeing Francis, I couldn’t say no. She said she found him… handsome. Charming. Genuine. She called the time we lived in full of sociopaths that would stone Francis if they had any idea they were interested in each other romantically. She promised me she wouldn’t hurt him. Promised me that if anyone tried to hurt him, they’d have to go through her. I told her to get in line, cuz they’d be going through me first. That smile on her face almost seemed a little condescending, but she said that Francis couldn’t ask for a better friend.

“They started seeing each other weekly. I was their go between. I’d pass letters in between the two of them, tell them when the other had time to meet. I took that picture right there,” He pointed to the one with Bea’s friends, “And I watched their romance blossom. I learned more about the world from Bea and the others than I ever learned from school. I considered them friends… but the perfect little secret that Francis and Bea had couldn’t stay secret forever.”

My grandfather’s shoulders sagged as he placed the photograph on his bedside table. “It was just a whisper. I think someone noticed the look in Francis’ eyes whenever Bea passed by, or maybe they weren’t nearly as discreet as they thought. But when the whispers started, I knew my friend was in danger. People had killed for less than whispers. We made a plan. Dead of night, they’d pack up, head north. I’d accompany them to New York and see them off to France. Hell, I even considered going with them, go see the world… We never got a chance.”

I shook my head. “I’m not going to like this story’s end, am I?” I asked.

My grandfather didn’t answer, instead he continued with his stories.

“Francis and I were heading to Bea’s house, our suitcases were packed. Francis was humming love songs under his breath when I heard the gunshot.” Grandfather’s fists balled up, knuckles turning white. “I saw blood shoot out from Francis’ side and he fell to the ground. I turned and saw the sheriff leading a mob of angry men. I could’ve left Francis then, saved myself from the heap of trouble I was going to be in. But I didn’t. I picked Francis up and carried him the rest of the way.”

My grandfather reached up and pulled down his shirt sleeve, revealing an old puckered scar. “They got me once in the shoulder, twice in the leg. I remember you being a little girl and asking why I walked the way I do. I did say you I’d tell you when you were older, well, now you know. I don’t know how I made it to Bea’s house, but I collapsed at the front door. Francis was cussing, I was too. The door opened and out walked Bea. When she saw how bloodied up we both were and how Francis was hurt bad, I saw a tear sneak down her face before she just went dead calm and wiped it away.”

For a few moments he was quiet. “Cass, you know I’ve not lost my mind. I’m sharp as I was back then, maybe even more so. But what I saw… I just wanted to forget all these years, and I never can.

“Bea walked out in front of the mob, followed by the others. She looked at the mob and quietly asked who shot Francis. One of the stupid bastards near the front raised his hand… and then she snapped it off with the same amount of effort it would take to break a twig. He howled before she went for his throat, her canines became sharp as knives and she’d grown claws an inch long. The others followed suit. Alana ripped open the sheriff’s ribcage and stomped on his heart. Sten took a man’s head and crushed it between his hands. The man’s brains splattered over his face before he roared like a lion and charged into the fray. Lihua caught a coward trying to run away before dragging him into the dark. I heard him scream once for his mother before I heard a crack and nothing else.”

Grandfather shook his head. “It was over quicker than you’d think. That mob was about twenty men in their prime, and in about five minutes each one was dead. Sten licked off each of his fingers before coming to me, picking me up and carrying me indoors while Bea cradled Francis in her arms. I wasn’t sure if he was breathing anymore… and that was the last time I saw him.”

“What happened after that?” I asked, shocked I could find my voice.

“They disappeared.” My grandfather shrugged. “When I woke up the next morning, I was in my own bed, all bandaged up. The whole town was in an uproar. The sheriff and his sons, all dead, along with several other ‘upstanding’ men of the town. Bea was gone, along with the others. No sign of where they’d gone. Francis… Francis was also gone. They never found his body, but they went and said he was dead anyhow. Probably for the best, I can’t imagine how they’d blame the slaughter on a single man but I’m surprised they didn’t try. We all just pretended nothing ever happened. I took care of Francis’ little siblings like they were my own brothers and sisters. I never told anyone before tonight about my best friend.”

I couldn’t believe it. Most of me wanted to reason out how that couldn’t have happened. Stuff like that didn’t happen.

Instead when I opened my mouth I asked, “Was the man in the car today, was it really Francis?”

“Looking just like the last day I saw him.” My grandfather sunk into the pillow, I could see how tiring this whole experience was for him. “Whatever Bea was must’ve crawled right up out of hell. You need to know that, before you go with her.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

My grandfather smiled sadly.

“Because the way your eyes lit up while looking at her, it was the same way Francis’ did when he first saw her… I think I’m going to shut my eyes for now, I’m feeling tired. Go to bed, Cassandra… I love you.”

I swallowed the hard lump in my throat before getting up. “I love you too, Grandpa,” I said before fleeing the room.

Just before I closed the door, I think I heard the sound of his window being pushed up. But I wasn’t sure until I came in the next morning and it had been left open. My grandfather had passed away with the most content look on his face. He was at peace, finally having revealed his darkest secret.

The funeral had long been planned, nearly everyone in town attended. People came up to me and told me how my grandfather was the most open-minded and kindest of people. I got told stories of his generosity, his good sense of humor.

Hours passed until I was finally sitting alone between his grave and the ones of my parents. My tears had dried up, leaving an empty hole inside me. For the first time in my life, I could truly say I was alone.

I heard quiet footsteps approached and I looked up to see her.

Bea was wearing a dark coat and black stockings. Her hair had been carefully pinned back, her eyes reddened with tears. “Can I sit with you?” She asked.

I nodded and patted the ground next to me, the side closer to my grandfather’s grave. She nodded before taking her seat, folding her legs under herself. “… Your grandfather was my friend. I owe him a great deal. Did he tell you about me?” She said.

I nodded.

“Shot three times, carrying the bleeding body of my dearest love and his dearest friend,” Bea’s breath shuddered and she wiped her eyes, “I could never repay that. I offered, but I knew he wouldn’t accept the only thing I had to give before he even responded. I’m not sure if even remembered the talk we had before I took him home that night.” Her fingers combed through the freshly turned earth.

“What did you offer?” I asked quietly.

“… Eternity.”

She got up and glanced at the other pair of graves next to me. “He’s with his wife, his daughter, and his son in law. I think he couldn’t live in a world that he knew he’d never be able to see them again, so I am glad he didn’t take my gift when I offered it again last night.” She looked down at me and smiled, extending her hand. “Would you like to go on a trip? A chance of pace might help you.”

I knew what offer was hidden behind those words. I glanced at my parents’ graves, dead when I was just a little girl. I looked at my grandparents’ graves, much newer than theirs.

I took Bea’s hands and she pulled me to my feet. “I think I wouldn’t mind visiting Paris. I’ve always wanted to see the Eiffel tower. Is it more beautiful in person?” I asked.

Bea smiled widely.

“It will take your breath away.”

Together we walked to the car, this one was probably a lot bigger than the one my grandfather talked about. Sten was even bigger than the picture suggested, he was sitting in the driver’s seat while Lihua took selfies of them both. I think I caught a glimpse of some sort of Instagram filter on the screen before Lihua dropped the phone, she was laughing too hard to hold it. In the back seat Alana was reading something on a Kindle, absorbed entirely in the digital pages.

The car door opened and there sat Francis. His eyes were also tinged red from tears, but he smiled as he looked at me.

“You look a lot like your grandfather. Come on in, we got space to squeeze in one more.”

#my stories

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