#same-sex moms
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I am once again thinking about how odysseus who witnessed the horrors that the captured women went through (one of his main duties in the iliad was taking the women back home and making sure they were as comfortable as possible and safe because he was the only one trusted not to violate them further due to his devotion to penelope. And in the odyssey part of the reason circe sent him to the underworld was so that he'd have to listen to all these women's stories (before he could talk to the prophet) ). Who was one of the few that saw women as people and respected their space and opinions. And was then put in those exact same situations. I don't have the motivation right now to do a full literary analysis of this (I'll site the sources too) but oh man one day I'm going to write a full essay on this.
#The odyssey#iliad#Odysseus#Tw: rape#Tw: sex slaves#Tw: camp slaves#Tw: That one time Calypso kept odysseus as a sex slave for 7 years#circe#Something about the inherent trauma of witnessing how your friends treat women#Watching them keep sex slaves#Then having to bring these girls home hearing about their stories seeing the aftermath#Then living in a situation where you have to let a powerful witch use you as she pleases half in payment for lives/food/medicine#Half because she has the equivalent of a gun to your best friends head and if you don't keep her happy then youre all dead#And then that witch sends you on a quest to the underworld where granted you'll benefit too but first#You have to listen to every single captured women from the Trojan war that you didn't Shepard home tell you their stories#Tell you that you're a horrible person while you are living in a disturbingly similar situation#And then later finding yourself trapped as a sex slave for seven years to an immortal nymph#And then being labeled as a horrible cheater for the rest of history#And none of this well historically everybody cheated or it's up to interpretation bullshit#Because it fucking isn't and granted a lot of abridged versions skip this shit#But if you read the full original stories and still think odysseus cheated then you just have an issue with men being victims#Or weren't paying attention i guess#Where's that meme where's it like the text was up to interpretation cut to the text where it very bluntly states what's happening#And I'm not saying odysseus was a good person or that he didn't have slaves because he did. And he wasnt#But first off nobody deserves to suffer that violation#Second they weren't sex slaves they were all nurses/maids/spys and I'm not getting into the ancient culture slavery issues rn#Third there's a lot you can pick to hate odysseus for but cheating/disrespecting women wasn't one of them#They literally invented a new word to describe his and penelopes love and it means to be so in love that you think the exact same way#Also forcing this narrative of odysseus cheating and penelope leaving to be a single girl boss is#Just the fake feminist mindset that stay at home moms are weak and wrong and live awful lives
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christ alive I love my parents and I'm glad I got to see them but they are just. so fucking exhausting
#i've identified something about them#which is this#they genuinely do not grasp that other people have Real Experiences that don't map to their view of the world#like it's not that they don't view those experiences as valid or whatever#it's that they genuinely and truly do not grok that other people have experiences they don't approve of#like that the experiences actually happen and aren't made up#“why do you insist on referring to X with they/them pronouns?”#“because they don't identify with a gender”#“well you're either one or the other”#“well they don't feel that way and they don't identify with a gender”#“well you're one or the other”#“okay but literally they do not feel that way and you not liking that doesn't change it like wtf and also sex and gender aren't the same”#etc etc etc ad fucking nauseum#fucks sake#also this is always my mom who drops this shit#my dad just pretends like nothing is happening and ignores the conversation like the wuss he is lol#to be fair i get it because i would not go up against my mom either if i was him because he has to live with her stubborn ass#it's probably obvious but they blithely misgendered me the whole goddamn time they were here#UNLESS THEY WERE IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE IN PUBLIC LOLOLOLOLOLOL#HMMMMMMMMM#FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS#anyway fuck them and i hope they get home safe because they're old as fuck and probably going to die in the next 5-10 years#and when they do it will be terrible and also part of me will be relieved and idk how to feel about that tbh#so like#yeah#:/#covington-shenanigans gets personal#(to be clear they just didn't use pronouns for me at all in public)#(they have never once gendered me correctly and probably never will)
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crazy to think that people my age want to have sex… and that many of them have had sex before… and that they are actively seeking out people to have sex with….. and that they talk about sex with their other sex-having friends……. couldn’t be me but y’all have fun tho! stay safe out there and stuff
#idk i just don’t think about having sex with specific people. mostly i think about it as a concept i guess#i think it could be a very positive experience with the right person/people#and if someone trusted me enough to share that level of vulnerability with them i would be beyond honored#but y’all just met 8 hours ago!#how do you already trust each other that much!!#and that’s not slutshaming or whatever i just really do not understand#like i still don’t know exactly what i am but it’s definitely some flavor of#asexual#same goes for drinking/drugs tbh#like you wanna go ingest mind altering substances in a loud environment with flashing lights and strangers?#have fun or whatever ill be Literally Anywhere Else. call if you need a dd#this thought prompted by me finding a ‘fuck marry kill: actors edition’ card game on the shelf downstairs#and asking my mom why it was there#and her replying ‘well i got it cause it looked fun and i figured you could take it to (friend)’s birthday party’#and i was like why would i want to do that?? and then i remembered#ace chats
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very calm about people being nice to me
holyfuck
#Someone gave me a soup recipe and now we’re reading recipes and eve Ey ones being so nice and listening to things I say#Oughh#i don’t even have specific examples other then that one that aren’t insanely embarrassing#But like#wow#peoppe are cool I guess???#So soft and sweet???#Bro????????#How are you just going to do that to me dawg what the hell#Also you absolutely know who you are fuck you!!!!! This is embarrassing!!!!!!#And you’re so cool also#Oh my godddd#I’m literally getting flustered over this shit like what#This is humiliating#I think most these are my friends? I hope they’re my friends#Whatever bruhhh#Watch me literally blush over basic human kindness#Fuck offffff#I got called love like once and he was like warning me about something and it’s like?? You’re so nice????#Like a lady at Waffle House like someone’s mom calling you sugar energy#Like bro#whay the hell#Whatever#I’ve humiliated myself typing this lmaoo#Please don’t read all this for my sake lol#Dude fuck crushes fuck romance fuck sex peak shit is getting a soup recipe and getting like warned so sweetly?? And getting like someone#Invested in something you’re doing#AND THESE ARE THE SAME PEIPLE I FUMBLED OVER when I did some dumb shit and made that mistake!!! And they’re still so nice?????!!!!#BROOO#UGHHHH
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Star Trek: The Motion Picture
The very first paragraph of the movie novelization is kirk explaining where his name originates
(what the fuck is a love instructor???)
#i love how this means either his mom was fucking his uncle before she became involved with his dad#or she was having sex with some random guy who circumstancially had the same name as the nroyher of the guy she wventually marries#wild way to start a book roddenberry i must say#star trek#books#tos#the original series#kirk#star trek tos#the motion picture#movie novelization#if anyone wants to see the full preface lmk and ill share that
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i want proof that you love me
even if i have to dig it out of your body
#shitpost#philosophy#memes#thoughts#writing#sadg#sadgirl#poetry#lyrics#original poem#depressive episode#wahoo#bed rot#i got approved for student loans and i got like 1000 ish in scholarships#but i didnt meet the g12 thing and that made me sad#so now im sad#and im probably going to get wine drunk about it#and i miss my dog#he got his balls snipped today my mom and sister are gona go get him#and i crave intimacy and sex and romance and life#but i feel dead inside#or misplaced#aching and longing#like a ghost#im somewhere im not supposed to be#and i hate my face#i dont think anyone i find physically attractive wi see the same for me#maybe i'll spend my scholarship on a nose job#or cheek filler#or face lift
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#can i just say something#idk if it’s controversial or not it’s just my thoughts#so years and years ago when chris said in an interview#something along the lines of#‘Sandra bullock is the type of girl you take home to meet your mom’#and ‘Salma Hayek is the type where you yell action and go to town’#(on who he’d rather film a sex scene with)#and it’s so funny bc it just clicks with me how…#men boys whatever they’re all the same#I’m not Mexican like salma but#I’m south Asian and I’m brown and this is literalllyyyt how all boys think#like white boys#they date white girls#but on the down low they fuck with us but don’t want to be seen with us or take us home to their parents or make us their girlfriend#treated like a ‘dirty little secret’ fr 😂😭#I remember back in secondary school#my friend who is Indian#was hooking up with a white body and at one point he made her walk on the other side of the street from him bc he saw his friends 🙃🙃🙃#white boy* not body lmao#and YES dumb of us to be even giving these white boys attention but like…#we were 16/17/18 year old KIDS who just wanted validation#but anyways it’s crazy…. obviously not ALL white boys and ofc they grow out of it (some of them)#but like it’s so sad#also with Chris like… he’s always only ever dated white women which is FINE like that’s his preference that’s his vibe good for him#but then all this chris ‘Jamal’ evans stuff is like…. kinda sad imo bc#like most white men he might hook up with poc women but of course his girlfriend (now or in the past or in the future) will most likely be#white#which is why I find the jamal stuff kinda iffy lmao#please don’t come at me if you think I said something wrong just tell me nicely or whatever like I’ll understand#I’m just speaking my mind
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I remember the exact moment too I was on a road trip after The Worst Day Of My Life in the backseat w a broken toe working my way through the beatles by bob spitz and got to some part abt john and brian and I sat there at some fuck ass gas station in kansas having Realizations and reeling. which is, in retrospect, incredibly funny
#it was suuuch a shit show of a road trip but I had my lil cd of burned beatles songs and a cd player w headphones#I was Set#my friend's mom burned the cd for us to share </3#we also got into frequent arguments abt how lesbian sex worked. average 12 year old beatles fans activities#the second part of this story is I then started Reconsidering the theories abt john and paul I'd dismissed#like in that same hour#and then listened to oh! darling like 12 times and sat there like this 🧍♂️
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My 3 little cousins were baptized today. "Triggered" is kind of a strong word but being in a catholic church again... I'm a little fragile rn ngl.
#butch speaks#it was hard not to shake as i held J over the basin to have the water poured on his head#when he was cleansed of sin. as if a little kid could ever knowly or intentionally offend a so-called loving god#the words came naturally to me#but they meant nothing#i remember when they used to mean something. when i begged gods forgiveness for my sin (being a lesbian) and tried to pray the gay away#i remember how much i wanted to die bc i could never truly embrace the sacred#i STILL deal with the complex of catholic guilt. its a very real thing. its hard to shake#i cant help but wonder if the catholicism ingrained in my brain is why i have a hard time with casual dating n sex#fun fact: there was a point when i was a teen that i got REALLY catholic#i prayed everyday. i talked to my patrin saint (st agnes) every day. i wantsd to become a nun#the thought of marrying a man mad me more sad than feeling like an alien did. so id marry the church as a nun.#not the way to hide being a dyke when ur fam is catholic btw LMAO#the first priest i knew was father joe. i loved that guy. he was so kind. friendly. briming with love.#he was one of my biggest references for what a good person was like#he talked about gods love a lot. how its for everyone. no one is exluded. ever.#he used to look right at me when he said stuff like that. a few other kids too. all of whom grew up to be queer#then father joe passed away. our church merged with another church. father jeff was the priest there.#he was kind but not as kind. he talked about hell and sin more. he looked at the same kids father joe did.#but the kindness in his eyes wasnt there.#that wasnt for us.#my family wasnt even THAT catholic#i went to church every sunday i did vacation bible school and catechism classes and youth group#i was an altar servant and in the choir#i even used to speak/understand a little latin#imagine how much worse id have been if my mom could have afforded catholic school lmao#grateful to have grown up poor in that regard#hm. actually... reading my own tags. mayne we were pretty catholic actually.#fucking hell.#i need to have lesbian sex in a church before god and everyone. mayeb that would fix me.
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So I posted this photo of my living room and my queer art wall to a maximalist FB community I follow:
… and unsurprisingly some jackass showed up in the otherwise kind comments to say, “Because knowing how someone has sex is so important.”
I am restraining myself from commenting back as the mods are usually good at nipping this sort of thing in the bud but … oh, honey, if you think my mom’s wall of bland family photos of her mostly-straight relatives doesn’t tell me and everyone else how they fuck to make all those kids, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise.
(Also, considering the number of real people in these photos and art pieces who died at the hands of bigots, Nazis, and homophobic government handling of an epidemic, then yes, their sexuality and gender is sort of important.)
#queer history#queer art#homophobes being asshats#oh I feel like I should add that if you think I’m being crass about my mom’s family#please keep in mind that these are the same people who used to get a kick out of us telling dirty jokes when we were kids#my mom’s one cousin has been absolutely filthy for as long as I can remember#if I said the same thing in front of them she’d be the first to start trying to guess everyone’s favorite sex position#no it’s cool we all turned out fine#including the queer ones
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One of the most delightful things about my sims drama is telling someone about the insanity of it all, and capping it with, “And by the way he’s a cat boy, the only cat boy in the world, just for context” and watching my friends lose it laughing or groaning in pain.
Get you a friend who wants to listen to your sims insanity bullshit lol
#my friend: okay but how did you KNOW it’s his baby? did you paternity test or something?#me: I have a mod that allows that and yes we did#me: but also I’m the only cat boy in the world so like-#my friend: jesus fucking shit- LEAD WITH THAT!#same friend a month later: How’s the drama going Mr. Springer#me: did I tell you about how his mom killed and resurrected him in front of his kids who were on a home visitation?#same friend: okay fucking hang on- do I need popcorn? wine?#me: taking that as a no- so that means you don’t know about the other girls he’s had kids with#same friend: you know when I play the sims it’s to relax with a CHILL family being HAPPY and NORMAL. how’d they all meet?#me: he temporarily went into sex work and-#friend: save it until I get at least two glasses of wine in me god damn
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tummy hurtz , i threw up , and i still can't sleep :( what a night!
#i swear to fucking GOD IF I GET MY FUCKING PERIOD ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY IM GONNA KILL EVERYONE.#if im down b a d like that on wednesday fucking shoot me on sight take me OUT#i just wanna have a good week#im prolly gonna get it sooner rather than later so most likely i will not be having birthday sex FUCK MY LIFE im UPSET and RIGHTFULLY SO#itll be fine tho its gonna rain all day wednesday i hav 0 bday plans my fam and i are gettin a cake and thats abt it#im going weed shopping and having a picnic inside since itll be raining all day#but my mom and i share the same bday and we both broke as fuck rn so were just gonna get weed and hang out together#my partner took the day off thatll be nice :3
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Do not get the wrong idea… although my username and icon are lesbianusahana and I frequently talk about how gay I am I’d actually rather jump out a window on a several story tall building than come out to my family as a lesbian
#꒰🥀꒱ ❝ Tragic Prose ❞#RAZ LORE LIGHTNING ROUND for the new followers#don’t get the wrong idea! I love my mom. I’m very blessed to have such a tolerant and supportive mom#HOWEVER. just because she’s supportive doesn’t mean she’s normal. huge difference#she frequently gossips about her gay coworkers and despite pushing 50 is one of those Fandom Mom fujoshis who frequents AO3 religiously#I remember when I tried to initially ID as a lesbian I never came out. she found out by going on my Instagram profile and reading my carrd#fortunately she took it like a champ and was completely fine with it!#and honestly I would’ve been fine if she didn’t. y’know. make really uncomfortable jokes about lesbian sex to me#if I sound like I’m lying I promise I’m not. she’s just like that. she’s a walking talking Oppa Homeless Style kinda person#and don’t get me started on my dad. I wouldn’t say he’s bigoted per se I genuinely think he’s too stupid to actually be a bigot#years ago we went back to school shopping and I found this cute hat with a really small rainbow on it#and he was really hesitant on getting it because. he thought I’d be bullied. if kids thought I was gay.#and on the same shopping trip I showed him this Polaroid shirt I got with rainbow colors#and he said#(and I quote)#‘Oh because of gay rights?’#which is. uh. huh???#yeah I don’t think he has it in him to be bigoted but his little walnut sized brain would explode#fortunately my older sister is very cool. when I thought I was transmasc for a while she took it super well#so I don’t think she’ll care if I ever come out to her#see here’s the thing. my mom and sister technically know I’m gay#well. my explanation is ‘I’m bi but I prefer girls’ which they get. trying to tell them I’m a lesbian again is too risky a gamble#anyways. tangent over just was mulling over some stuff
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every time a female character in a male written anime/manga decides to quit fighting or being a “tomboy” for a shitty boring male protagonist, another far right incel is born
#yeah i do mean sango from inuyasha#you’re telling me she decided she wasn’t gonna fight at all anymore OR lead the rebuilding effort and become chief of the demon slayers#???#or ‘oh you’re telling me this cool badass girl that used to do whatever the fuck she wanted without caring what people thought#decided to finally grow out her hair and wear dresses and have a more soft spoken quiet personality#to ‘rediscover her femininity’ only now to FINALLY get the attention of and be perfect for some bland asshole guy???#I SWEAR TO GOD if i have to hear another female love interest talk about how she has to learn how to fucking#sit on the sidelines and endure neglect and an absentee lover#because ‘his duty/job is too important’ and ‘i knew this is what it meant to love him but i will anyways’#OR FUCKING WORSE#‘i can’t tell him my very obvious feelings for him because it might distract him from his Very Important Warrior Development Where He Fights#To Save Lives because it would Burden him AND he probably doesn’t feel the same way#i am going to FUCKING SHIT ALL OVER THE WRITERS’ HOUSES#STOP only writing women as support#STOP only defining them by their sex appeal or attraction to/for a male character#it’s STUPID and it makes me HATE THEM#STOP turning badass fighters into stay at home moms and housewives#LET THEM FUCKING BE BOTH#inuyasha#shonen#shonen manga#shonen anime#tbh i could name tons more specific examples but i don’t care enough about those poorly written shows to get into discourse lmao#and by inuyasha i specifically mean yashahime or the series now that Rumiko isn’t writing it anymore#weeb speak
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i dont know if i ever shared this story but washing my hair and thinking of my dad reminded me of it
when my dad died, he had his hair pretty long and in a ponytail and we asked for his ponytail to be cut so we could save his hair
it might seem weird and it hasnt been done in my family before in my knowledge but we all consented to his hair being cut and it wouldnt have been something he opposed
when his funeral was coming up i was debating cutting my hair the same way, just forming a ponytail and having my cousin cut it but before the funeral when i was messaging my cousin to ask her, i felt a warm tingling pressure on the top of my head
i dont know if i believe in ghosts and never physically interacted with ghosts (i guess you could say ive "felt" them before, like feeling a towering but gentle male presence in my grandmas house that matched with her father's description) but ive never physically seen apparitions or heard voices or felt touches
it felt like my dad was placing his hand on my head and it was so weird and comforting that i decided not to cut my hair and only once that thought crossed my mind and i deleted the message to my cousin was when the sensation stopped
call it a hallucination brought on by grief or a supernatural occurrence but it definitely sticks with me now and id like to believe it really was my dad telling me not to cut my hair for his sake
#also in the same week#i had gone out by myself at night to smoke and was just chilling#then i hear my dads voice say 'ross' like so fucking clearly from the direction of the cars#like it was so vivid that i stopped everything and started going towards the cars#but then i was like 'wait. could be an sw' (shapeshifting spirit not a sex worker) and just quickly went inside#im not native but considering i live in america and am superstitious im always gonna be wary of the spirits here#also hence why i dont say the name out of fear of summoning one#that was crazy i still have no explanation for that#it was like 1am no one was outside but me#my dad wouldnt have blamed me for not investigating if it was him#he hated when my mom told him about her personal ghost encounters#he was just really freaked out by it#what an asshole honestly being freaked out by ghosts but doing that to me#he prolly laughed too#dickhead (affectionate)
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