#same feeling as when my anxiety gets really bad

[pen-guin-writez]

Panicfrog cuddling for the panicfrog writing prompts thing :) you can decide the rest but I just want them to cuddle at some point ^w^

YAYYY TYTY

fic below the cut!!

Another day that Fear just so happened to be on Dream Duty.

Fear didn't like Dream Duty. It's just... so...boring, man. So cliche, it's just the same thing over and over again. He'll admit, however, there are times nightmares do give him a good scare. But a lot of the time he finds himself staring blankly at the screen.

THUD!

Fear falls out of the chair.

Ow...

"Oh my gosh--- are you okay? Sorry, I didn't mean to--- I--- Oh god...."

Initially, Fear didn't recognize the emotion hovering over him. He slides the chair in front of him to peek behind it shakily and...

"Oh, uh, Anxiety. Hi!"

The 'hi' was more enthusiastic than he wanted it to be, but forget that, he liked her.

"Hi... are you okay?" She asks again, "Sorry."

Fear's eyes dart, before immediately springing into a straight, standing position.

"Do- don't apologize, you're fine," for a split second, he smiles, before faltering and tilting his head, "wait, why are you still up?"

The question seemed to make Anxiety, more... anxious, if that's even possible.

"Listen I'm sorry, I-I tried, but I'm just too worked up about Riley's Spanish test, we- we haven't studied enough--- it's just--- it's not enough, what if we fail? And then Mom and Dad get mad at us? And they ground us, and we never get to play hockey again, and---"

And she goes into an unfiltered, messy rant about Riley, proceeding to lean her head on his shoulder. And Fear just froze for a moment.

Now, normally, Fear would jump in an instant and run away screaming, but there was something oddly comforting about this.

Maybe it was because... she trusted him? For some reason?? At least, she trusted him enough to rant about all her problems and lean in like this. And this time Fear wasn't scared, even though... that's his job, but he was more... endearingly charmed.

Fear suddenly shakes his head, stepping aside from Anxiety.

"Hey, uh, Anxiety?" he stammers, "Uh, listen, okay? I know it's hard. I mean, Riley's thirteen now. That's some scary stuff. I should know, I literally embody all of her fears."

She giggled at that. See, Disgust was wrong, Fear can be funny. Bonus points for sort of impressing a cute girl.

"But you wanna know what's worse? Studying so long you don't get any sleep. And if you don't get any sleep, you'll fall asleep in school. And that's like, one of the worst possible outcomes of studying! Just imagining it makes my skin crawl!"

Fear shakes Anxiety with a playful intent.

"HEY, QUIT IT!!!"

"Oh- oh, I'm sorry, I didn't---"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. You're just trying to help, it's just... sleeping's always been hard for me, there's just so much on my mind, no matter how hard I try." Anxiety curls up, looking to the side, and Fear really can't help feeling bad for her.

"O-oh, Anxiety... I'm sorry, I wish I could help, but..." Fear pauses in thought. He thinks about what helps him feel better when he's scared.

He smiles gently, "Do you wanna stay here?"

"W-What?"

"Yeah, stay here and... I brought my teddy bear. You can hold him, or me, or--- I mean--- whatever will help you." Fear felt the strand of his hair curl up, his face going all red.

"Really?" Her eyes gleam.

"Ye-yeah. I mean, it's not like this dream here's keeping me occupied, I mean, look at this! Ha!"

It was a dream Fear had seen many times before, the classic not-wearing-pants and everyone-making-fun-of-you type of thing. Except instead of a bunch of eleven year olds laugh at him

"Heh, are you seein' this? Are the directors even tryi---"

Fear felt a squeeze, and his eyes narrowed down to see Anxiety hugging him, her teeth chattering and all. Instead of running off and screaming about germs or something, however, he just cautiously lets his hand reach her hair, slowly, and carefully and...

For once, neither of them run off screaming. At all. They found comfort in each other, and Fear couldn't help but sigh.

Which is exactly what woke Anxiety up.

"Oh my gosh- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to---"

They looked at each other. No one else was around.

"Do you still wanna..?"

"Yes, I would like that very much."

Anxiety cuddles up against fear arm as he strokes the back of her head, leaning on her. His fingers were entangled with hers, and it felt like nothing else in the world felt safer than this moment.

And of course, when the morning comes, they'll start screaming and panicking to the other emotions' annoyance.

But Fear needed this moment. Hey, he said he would change her!

[spock-smokes-weed]

I wanna talk about about the big issue that's going on in the dan and phil fandom rn because I've been sitting on my thoughts for a few days, and because I think it's important for us as a community to keep talking about it.

Dan and Phil mean a lot to me, they've been a real bright spot for me in a very dark time in my life, so it did give me a major spike of anxiety when I started seeing discussions of racist behavior coming from Dan and the Phandom. My first instinct was to just brush it off because what people were upset about didn't seem that "serious", and it's a bad habit of my mine to try to bury things that give me anxiety. But like a pulsing sore, my mind couldn't let me ignore it and I kept going back into the tags to read what people were saying. And I realized I was doing the exact thing that a lot of POC and Latin American fans were criticizing.

I'm not POC or Latin American, and comments like the ones Dan made (idk if there are anymore but to my understanding he called mexico and brazil third world countries in WAD, and titled a really old video "I'm Mexican Now" back when he used to tan himself) don't hit a sore spot for me like it would other people. It's a lot easier for me to say "oh that's tasteless" and let it roll off my back. But this is personal for a lot of other fans, and I never want to be that kind of person that goes "well it didn't hurt ME, why can't YOU let it go." no matter how much I like Dan and Phil.

And I think that's gets a the core for what a lot of fans are upset over (at least from what I've observed, feel free to tell me if I'm off the mark.) Dan's comments made them feel like a person they really admired doesn't hold the same kind of respect for them. It made me really sad reading about how isolated POC feel in fandom because when microaggressions come up, they're expected to suck it up. And that's so unbelievably shitty that we are making fellow fans feel this way. I've seen time and again POC people have to leave fandoms, or never join them to begin with, because the environment is so hostile towards them. And that's really a shame, because fandom has been such a positive aspect of my life, and it want it to be that way for everyone.

And what Dan did is just one part of it, the other part is us, the phandom. People who speak up about this, or the fact that DnP's tour has zero shows in Latin America, Asia, or Africa ("world tour" lmao) have been getting racist harassment from other fans. They're framed as "trying to cancel" DnP, or "making a fuss over nothing". That is completely unacceptable, and if we really want to be this positive community, we have to push back on this behavior when we see it. That includes when it's coming from Dan and Phil.

I honestly don't think Dan was being malicious in what he said, nor do I think DnP were intending to exclude people by not taking the tour to the global south, but that it's really not the point. It's about the fans that feel excluded and hurt. Dan and Phil are both human beings, they are not "unproblematic kings", and they will always fail to meet your standards when you paint them that way. It's causing real people harm when you deny that they can do no wrong. Dan and Phil are very meaningful to me as artists, and I know it can feel personal when you find out someone you admire did something wrong, but sometimes you have to step back and remember that this isn't about you. And it's not a healthy approach to take any criticism of something you like as a personal attack.

Contrapoints once said something that really stuck with me, and it's how I'd like to be living my life, which is that often, admitting when you were wrong can seen as a weakness, when in reality it's an incredible strength. I was wrong with my initial gut reaction over this, and Dan was wrong for what he said, and I think all people want is to hear him say that.

I felt a little nervous writing this post because I don't want to be speaking over anyone, or speaking for anyone, (and if you're a POC and want to elaborate please go ahead), but it felt wrong not saying anything because of how much Dan and Phil mean to me. I don't exactly see myself a part of the "phandom", and I only post about them when they upload, but they are very meaningful artists to me. I want other people to keep discovering Dan and Phil and enjoying their art, but for that to happen we need to be candid about where they've fallen short.

[aishangotome]

Elbert Greetia: Both Ending Clear Epilogue

Blind Love Epilogue | Mad Love Epilogue

♡———♡

Every time I feel happiness with her,

--Every day, every day, the devil tempts me.

It's like being tempted by forbidden fruit.

Elbert: Kate... Open your mouth.

Kate: Ah... Mm...!

That afternoon, she had gotten a lot of apples from the bakery run by that woman, Jesse, and said she wanted to try a new recipe, so we baked an apple pie together.

When she took a bite of the piece I handed her, Kate's eyes sparkled.

Kate: This might have turned out really well, Lord Elbert...!

Elbert: ...Let me have a taste too.

Kate: Of course. ...Here you go.

I take a bite of the piece she offers me in the same way.

Elbert: ... Mm, ...Delicious.

Kate: Hehe...

When I muttered my honest impression, Kate smiled happily.

(...Cute. But...)

Elbert: Why are you so happy...?

Kate: I'm happy when you eat something delicious.

Saying that, she smiled even brighter.

(Ah...)

(--I'm happy.)

Since she started smiling next to me, I learned the taste of happiness.

It's so sweet it burns my throat, so fresh it melts--

--A taste that makes me want more as soon as I swallow it.

Kate: But feeding each other by hand while standing in the kitchen...

Kate: ...It's kind of unexpected.

Elbert: ...Why?

Kate: I thought you would have good manners because you're a noble...

Laughing mischievously, Kate took another bite from my hand.

Elbert: It's true that I received strict etiquette lessons...

I also take another bite of the piece in her hand.

Elbert: But after Al came to the mansion... Sometimes I would sneak around and play pranks.

Kate: Hehe... I see. If it's Alfons' influence, it makes sense.

Elbert: I was sometimes scolded for getting involved in Al's mischief... But I was saved more often than not.

Her lips, wet with the pie's butter and apple juice, were beautiful, and my eyes were glued to them.

Kate: ...I'm so jealous.

Her lips muttered an envious voice.

Elbert: ...?

Kate: I... I wish I could have sneaked into the kitchen with you when you were little and done bad things.

Kate: When I think that Alfons would be able to remember what kind of expression you had at that time...

Kate: ...It makes me jealous.

Revealing her adorable jealousy, Kate blushed faintly as if embarrassed.

(Me...)

(You have no idea how much more intense my jealousy is.)

I'm so crazy about her that if I thought someone else knew about this expression of hers, I'd seriously consider splitting their head open and gouging out the part of their memory where it's stored.

Kate: Let's put the rest of the apple pie away....Nnn....

I steal her lips and embrace her soft body.

Intertwining our tongues in her confusion, I lifted her up and sat her down on the counter. Kate's eyes flickered in a flurry of anxiety.

Kate: Ah, Lord Elbert.... in a place like this...

Elbert: ....You want to do naughty things with me in the kitchen.

Kate: But... ah...

Elbert: I want to do it with Kate too.

Kate: Ah, ahh.....Nn!

I want to hear the sweet voice that leaks out when she feels good, so I caress the spot where my fingertips have memorized on her body.

I took her ear into my mouth and ran my hands over her soft breasts, then between her legs, which were dripping with honey. The voice I had hoped for spilled out, vibrating my eardrums.

(I want to fill you up with me.)

(Whatever you see, wherever you go, I want you to think of me.)

(I want to steal your memories and paint them over with memories of me.)

Your body, your heart, even your thoughts, everything--.

(I want to make all of you mine.)

Kate: Haa... ah, Lord Elbert, more...

Elbert: ....Can I go deep inside you?

Kate: ... M-my voice...

Kate: My voice... it will come out... so, kiss me and stop it.

( ...Cute.)

Elbert: ... Mm.

Kate: Mmm––

(Cute, cute... my Kate.)

No matter how deeply we connect, no matter how much you kiss me, call my name, I want more, more.

I can't stop the overflowing desire––.

-

After doing something "bad," I carry her limp and lifeless body back to her room.

While cleaning Kate up and changing her clothes, which are stained with flour, honey, and who knows what else—

It seems Kate has fallen asleep, still sitting in the chair.

Elbert: Kate... has she fallen asleep?

(Ah...)

The shadow of Kate, sleeping with her back to the window, falls at my feet.

(Every time I feel happiness with you...)

(—Every day, every day, I'm tempted by the devil.)

(As if I'm being seduced by the forbidden fruit...)

I want to know everything about her, even the things she hides in her heart, I want to expose them all.

(If I step on her shadow now...)

(I'll know the deepest scar in her heart.)

(When were you the saddest...?)

(Who was there—?)

A dark emotion scorches my chest, and before I know it, I've taken a step forward.

Kate: Ah... uh...

My toes encroach upon her shadow.

Kate's brow furrows, and a tinge of sadness clouds her innocent sleeping face.

(Ah...)

In that moment, I come to my senses, and regret floods my chest.

(No, I have to stop—)

Kate: ... L-Lord Elbert...

Elbert: ...?

Just as I'm about to step back, her words freeze me in place.

Kate: ... N-No... please... Lord El...

Kate: Please... stop... this...

(...Eh?)

Her words, repeated like a sleep talker, are—familiar.

(That night I locked you away)

*flashback*

Kate: No... please, Lord Elbert...

Kate: ... Lord Elbert, please stop this...

*flashback over*

Kate: You no longer have to suffer... Lord Elbert...

A tear rolled down Kate's cheek.

Elbert: - Nn...!

I involuntarily stepped back and bumped into the shelf behind me.

My heart was pounding and my breathing was ragged.

Elbert: ... Is that what you were most sad about...?

(That by "having" you - I would suffer?)

You must have met and experienced many things before you met me.

I'm sure you've had a lot of hard and painful things happen to you.

But the deepest scar on her heart was the one I gave her.

Elbert: ...

My chest felt like it was going to collapse.

With intense guilt - and overwhelmingly dark and heavy joy.

Elbert: Kate...

I gently reached out to touch her sleeping lips.

Elbert: I'm sorry... for making you sad... and hurting you so deeply.

Elbert: And yet... I'm so happy about it.

Her lips were soft to the touch... a burning thirst in my throat, a welling of saliva... an unbearable hunger.

Elbert: ...Kate...

I leaned over her and kissed her lips as she breathed softly in her sleep.

If I sank my teeth into those lips, savored them with my tongue, and swallowed them deep into my throat, they would surely taste like sweet fruit.

Such distorted and crazy desires welled up and tempted me.

It seemed a miracle that she, so beautiful, was sleeping in front of me.

(Now, when you wake up-- you will realize how ugly I am.)

(Will you go somewhere far away from me?)

If that were to happen, I would rather cover her mouth with a kiss and make sure she never wakes up again.

Such a bad thought crossed my mind.

Kate: Hmm... Lord Elbert...?

Kate slowly opened her eyes, and her dreamy eyes looked at me.

(...Ah)

(Beautiful)

Every time she wakes up, my heart is shaken.

Without any exaggeration - she is the most beautiful in the world.

Kate: ...Oh... I fell asleep, didn't I...?

Elbert: ...Ah.

Kate: I think I had a sad dream...

Elbert: ...That's...

Kate looked up at me as I faltered, and smiled meltingly.

Kate: But... when I saw Lord Elbert's face, all the sadness went away...

My throat trembled and I couldn't say anything.

(...Only you would look at me and say that)

(Only you)

Kate: Oh, that's right... The rabbit stuffed animal...

Elbert: ...Rabbit?

Kate: The ribbon came undone again...

(Ah... that)

*flashback*

Kate: Could you tie this ribbon again if it comes undone?

Elbert: Why? I'm sure you could tie it much more beautifully.

Kate: ...I like this vertical knot.

*flashback over*

I remember how my heart warmed when she said she liked that crooked ribbon.

(I didn't know why at the time, but...)

(I'm sure...)

(I was happy that she showed warm affection... even for something crooked.)

Something not beautiful, far from perfect, ugly and incomplete.

Even so, it could make her smile.

It could be loved by her.

(Ever since then, I've always...)

(I wanted to be loved by you.)

Along with this twisted, ugly, incomplete desire.

Kate: Lord Elbert... Will you tie it again?

Elbert: ...It will become crooked again.

Kate: Yes... That's what I like.

Because Kate looks at me and smiles happily and lovingly, I... suppress the dark desire I felt in her sleeping face.

Elbert: Alright... I'll retie it tomorrow.

I picked her up, laid her on the bed, and lay down next to her.

When I hugged her tightly, she rubbed her cheek against my chest in response.

Kate: Mmm... It's warm...

Elbert: ...

He quietly exhaled deeply, trying to suppress the urge to tighten his arms around her.

He loved her so much it was almost suffocating, and he didn't want to crush her.

Kate: Let's eat the rest of the apple pie tomorrow...

Elbert: ...Yeah.

Kate: It would be nice to have a picnic...

Elbert: ...Yeah.

Kate: ...Lord Elbert...

Elbert: ...What?

Kate: ...I love you...

Elbert: ...I love you too.

Elbert: So much I can't breathe... I love you.

I will keep longing for you, the most beautiful woman in the world, whom I can never have.

What painful, yet happy days these are.

(Someday—when you fall into eternal sleep,)

(Perhaps then, I will consume you whole, and we will become one)

Suddenly, I dream of such a thing--

And my heart races like never before.

FIN

----

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[Return to Ikevil Masterlist]

[starlahuskyz]

Chances - Chapter 20

Summary: The boys take Jordan to properly meet their sire, however one thing leads to another and an old face rears their ugly head once again.

It's been a while, but I'm just in time for my oc x canon's anniversary! Things are picking up finally, so the end is near.

Chapter 19 <<< >>> Chapter 21

TW// Stalking, Sexual Themes, Implied Smut

------------------------------------------------

Jordan had been sleeping peacefully with Marko that night, that is until she found herself in a dark room only lit by the moonlight casted through the windows. Marko was nowhere to be found, and she heard nothing but the deafening silence accompanying her. She scanned the darkness around her and as her eyes adjusted to the darkness around her, she started recognizing where she was. The Looff Carousel on the boardwalk, she’d visited this ride plenty of times while living in Santa Carla. She walked along the platform and grazed her hands along each horse that sat along the ride.

Without much of a warning, she heard the sound of mechanical whirring starting up and the whole attraction came to life, the tune “To the Shock of Miss Louise” started blaring on the speakers surrounding the ride. Jordan was perplexed and she grabbed a hold of the many poles circling the rotating platform. Said platform started to move and each horse moved up and down, Jordan carefully walked in between each horse trying to find any potential souls besides her own.

It didn’t take her long before she started feeling uncomfortable, she once again felt the sensation of being watched again. Her hair stood up on its ends and she grew anxious wondering who was with her. She thought back to the one person she saw who sported a clown mask similar to the clown face seen on the walls of the carousel. She jumped to the conclusion that it must’ve been the same person and immediately started scanning the room around her, she then only realized something.

Every single horse within her view had their eyes on her, and as she walked through the ride they only stared at her. The feeling of anxiety grew to an all time high, the ground beneath her started to disappear before her and she soon fell down with it. She only remembered one thing as she fell, the voice of someone saying,

“I’m still here…”

---------------------

With a nasty fright, Jordan woke up and found herself on the ceiling above her bed. She rolled over and saw Marko still lying peacefully on the bed with Bixby, not even realizing Jordan wasn’t with him. Mildly panicked as she struggled to get herself down, she called for Marko.

“Marko! Are you awake?”

No movement, she opted to get Bixby’s attention.

“Bixby! Wake him up!”

The little black feline lifted its head begrudgingly growling lightly until seeing the predicament his owner was in. The cat stalked over to Marko’s face and meowed and swiped at him, waking him up.

“Dammit cat, leave me alone! What?” Marko looked at Bixby angrily until realizing Jordan was gone and upon looking up he saw her still trying to free herself from the ceiling.

“What the hell happened?”

“Like hell I know, now help me down please!”

Marko grabbed Jordan’s leg pulling her down to the bed where she finished her little flying session. 

“Did you have a bad dream or something?” Marko rubbed her shoulder reassuringly.

“How did you know?”

“Vampires tend to fly in their sleep when in distress and not holding onto anything. Like one time, Paul took a nap and started to fly around the cave.” He recounted how confused Paul was after that experience.

“It was definitely a bad dream, but I’d rather not think about it too hard right now.” 

Jordan laid back onto the bed petting Bixby on his head as he sat in a loaf position on the bed. Marko did the same and nuzzled himself into her neck purring loudly. Taking a glance at her clock she saw it was 5pm, still another two hours before the sun properly sets.

“We should rest a bit more, it still isn’t sundown yet.” Marko suggested.

“I really don’t wanna go back to sleep after that.” Jordan responded exasperatedly.

Marko rolled onto his back and clicked his tongue thinking about what they could do to wait out the time. He reached a hand onto Jordan’s thigh and squeezed it, she only looked at him confused.

“The hell are you doing?” 

“I know what we could do to pass the time.” Marko winked at her and she tensed up and sat up.

“Are you out of your mind? Why now?”

“I know it’s a bit sudden but, hearing about your ex made me kinda mad. I wanna prove that I can treat you better than he did,I could rock your world babe.”

“And you’re gonna prove that by having the dirtiest sex imaginable?”

“Well…if that’s what you want then-”

“No. Don’t even, you have to earn that from me.” She stood up and turned her TV on to see what shows were on, Marko stayed in the bed watching her. His face was thoughtful.

“Earn it…what do I gotta do?” 

“You sure are desperate aren’t you?” Jordan moved away from the TV to look at him after settling on a show.

“I’m just asking, can a guy not ask a question?” Marko grabbed her hands and pulled her into his lap, without contest from Jordan.

“Listen, it’s just been a while since I’ve done anything like this and to be honest, the night Viktor turned me was my first time being intimate with anyone. And I don’t really even remember it. I don't want to rush into this and end up regretting it.” 

Jordan thought back to that night and how after she drank the blood, everything afterwards became nothing but flashes of distant memories and singular moments in time.

“Well, I can say this much, you definitely won’t forget or regret any of the action I'd give. I’d make all your worries melt away, you deserve everything. I want you to forget all about that scumbag and pretend like I’m your first…only if you're okay with it.”

Marko shoved his face into Jordan’s neck and nipped at her skin relishing in her scent and taste. She ran her fingers through his golden locks as he did so, she pulled his chin up and looked him in the eyes. She gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead making him grumble happily.

“Can I trust you?”

“May god strike me down where I sit.”

---------------------

8:30pm

Marko and Jordan laid together watching the TV quietly play a random show they'd both never seen before. However, neither of them paid any attention to what was being said. Jordan traced shapes onto Marko's tummy while he played with Jordan's raven hair, they both purred happily as they enjoyed each other's company.

They were pulled out of their comfortable silence though when they heard a loud knocking sound on the basement doors outside. Jordan begrudgingly sat up.

“Who is it?”

“It’s the pizza man! Open up, Jordan!”

Marko sat up as well and wrapped his arms around Jordan, purring.

“Did you bring us a spicy sausage pizza?” Marko asked, making Jordan swipe at him in embarrassment.

“Hell yeah! How do we open the door though?”

“There should be a key to open the lock inside a potted plant next to the door.”

After that, she heard some footsteps and shuffling leave and come back she then heard a sudden bang come from someone busting the lock open. Paul sauntered in

and Dwayne followed through holding a busted lock in his hands. 

“Couldn’t find the key, so we took advice from what you did-” Paul’s words quieted after he noticed a rather jarring change with Jordan’s outfit…or rather lack thereof. “Looks like someone got lucky last night.”

It was only then that Jordan had noticed she was completely underdressed for the occasion and Paul had been staring at her bare chest. She quickly pulled her blanket up to cover her up.

“Maybe I did, but that doesn’t give you the right to stare at my chest you asshole. Dwayne, can you toss me my clothes?”

Dwayne wordlessly handed her something to wear and Marko simply got up to get his clothes while completely naked.

“And you don’t look half bad yourself.” Paul purred at Marko who in turn cuffed the side of his head.

After Jordan finally put something on and looked more presentable she turned the TV off. “Why are you guys even here?”

“David wanted us to come and get you guys.” Dwayne explained.

“Dad wants to talk to us over dinner about Marko’s new girlfriend.” Paul chucked one of Jordan’s stuffed animals at Marko as he put his pants on making him trip over himself.

“You guys have a dad?” Jordan asked, Paul pulled her out of bed and threw an arm over her shoulders.

“Don’t worry about that right now, you need a nice outfit for tonight.”

----------------

Within the hour, the boys had taken Jordan to a pleasant looking house. They had given little to zero information about who they were visiting on the way over. And now they were standing on the porch awaiting an answer from the person inside and Jordan was beyond nervous. David stood at the front of the group obnoxiously ringing the doorbell while the others just snickered quietly. Marko stood in the back with Jordan and wordlessly grabbed her hand to help relieve her anxiety.

Eventually the door opened up, and much to Jordan’s dismay, it was the owner of the video store on the pier of the boardwalk. She never liked him before and now she realizes why. The man had a look of annoyance in his face as he stared down the platinum blonde.

“Feeling a bit daring, don’t we David?”

“Just playing around, we brought Jordan like you asked.” David moved aside to let Marko bring Jordan up to become acquainted with their sire.

Marko gently nudged Jordan forward while she just stared at the vampire warily.

“Glad we can finally be properly acquainted, I’m Max.”

“I know, you own the video store on the pier.”

Max chuckled at her somewhat snappy nature. “You have a fiery spirit, it doesn't surprise me that Marko pounced on you once he finally had the opportunity.”

The others snickered at Marko while he quietly growled back at them. “Lay off Max, can we just come inside now?”

Max moves aside leaving access for the group “You’re invited…”

------------------

Everyone sat around a dining table eating a quaint little dinner together, having small conversations together to break the ice between them. Jordan took note of how the boys were acting somewhat well behaved, they still occasionally made jabs at Max or each other but they didn’t do anything all too out of line. Eventually, Max began to start talking with the newest member of the family trying to learn more.

“So Jordan, I hope Marko has been treating you well, same thing with all my boys.”

“Marko has definitely been behaving well, can’t say the same about the others though.” Jordan eyed the others as they quietly chuckled. “I don’t care too much though, I mean, I’m happy now so yeah.” She shrugged her shoulders unsure of what else to say.

“I noticed you seemed to deny Marko’s love before all…this. What made you come around?” He folded his hands ready to listen in.

“I don’t know, it happened the day they all found out I was a vampire. We talked for a bit and I guess I liked his style, we made plans to hang out and now we’re here.”

“That’s wonderful, but now I wanna know what kept you from saying yes from the very first encounter with him?”

Jordan hesitated, telling Max means she’s going to have to tell her story once again. Before she could answer, Paul answered for her.

“She played hard to get, all because she had a shitty ex.”

“Paul shut up!” Jordan snapped at him.

“It’s true, you told us all about it last night. Now you don’t wanna talk about it?”

Max tilted his head curiously “I’m assuming it’s a long story?”

“Yeah, but to give you the cliff notes, I moved here, met a guy who turned out to be a vampire. We dated for a while and he ended up turning me into a vampire without my permission, and I may or may not have killed my whole coven and now I live in my parents basement.”

Max leaned back in his chair, his face was thoughtful. “I see.”

“There was a lot more stuff in between, but the point is that I was left with horrible trust issues for the past year and that’s why I rejected Marko at first.”

Max still looked thoughtful as Jordan spoke and the boys took notice of it pretty quickly.

“Cat got your tongue?” David asked.

“No…Marko do you mind if we talk in private real quick. The rest of you I want in the living room.”

--------------

The boys and Jordan minus Marko all waited in the living room while Max talked to Marko. It was a sudden change and everyone had been caught off guard about it. Jordan was especially anxious about it.

“Do you think it was something I said?” Jordan turned to the others looking for reassurance.

“Who knows, I wouldn’t worry too much. Probably just chewing out Marko to make sure he treats you like a queen.” Paul sprawled out on the couch with his head on Dwayne’s lap as he spoke to Jordan.

“But what if he comes out saying it’s something about me and I might be causing problems.”

The boys all groaned quietly, then Dwayne shoved Paul off of him and asked “If I eavesdrop will you stop worrying?”

Jordan thought for a moment “Sure, just make sure they don’t notice you.”

Dwayne stood up and quietly moved towards the kitchen to listen in, he caught on to the middle of their convo.

----------------

“You know the rules Marko.”

“Bullshit, she said she killed him. How do you know for a fact he’s still alive, I’m sure I would’ve noticed.”

“She just has a presence on her, it’s unmistakable, I know the feeling of a sire when I feel it.”

Marko huffed in frustration, “The hell am I supposed to tell her? That her ex is still alive and is watching her? She’d probably drop dead.”

Max laid a heavy hand on his shoulder “Listen, I understand this is hard, but even if you wanted to be with her, her sire will try to fight you for her. I don’t want to have to come and save you.”

Marko shook his shoulder to remove his sire’s hand “I don’t need your help, I’ll find him myself and fuck him up.”

----------------

Dwayne perked up at the convo and returned back to the living room, as soon as he’s back Jordan stood up and approached him.

“What did you hear?”

Dwayne reached a hand up to scratch the back of his neck not saying a word.

“Please don’t tell me it was bad…”

“Listen, I wanna ask you something first. When you killed your ex, are you absolutely sure he was dead?”

“Of course! A stake to the heart instantly kills a vampire right?”

No one says a word for a moment.

“Well not if he’s your sire, a fledgling can’t kill their own sire in the typical vampire slaying way.”

Jordan’s face pales “You’re kidding, right?”

Dwayne then speaks again “Shit, then it might be possible.”

Jordan doesn’t say another word, and makes a beeline for the door and runs out into the woods surrounding Max’s house. The others don’t even have the chance to stop her and just stand by the open door.

“You guys stay here, I’ll go get her.” David quickly follows after Jordan.

----------------

She didn’t know how long she’d been running for, a part of her didn’t even know why she was running. She just knew she wanted to get away, she couldn’t even fathom the idea of her ex still being alive. It just couldn’t be, she found herself in the heart of the forest she ran into and stopped for a minute to ponder what was happening. 

Her mind raced with a thousand thoughts a second, she wasn’t sure who to believe. Was she right? Did she think too confidently about whether or not she finished the job?

Before she could come to a conclusion, she heard a voice from behind her.

“It’s been too long, hasn’t it?”

Swiftly turning around, Jordan felt her heart drop into her stomach upon seeing who it was.

“Viktor…”

“Jordan, you look just as beautiful as the day you left me. In fact, you may look even better.” He slowly approached her, he looked practically the same from when she originally saw him from the first time.

Jordan didn’t speak, at a loss for words. Viktor approached her until he was at least one foot in front of her.

“Too stunned to speak?”

“...How? I staked you.” She stared up at him, feeling all alarms going off in her head.

“Well, didn’t your friend already tell you? With me being your sire, you couldn’t kill me by staking me. It’s silly, isn’t it?” He lifted a finger to twirl it around her dark locks of hair.

“Silly isn’t the word for it, infuriating is more appropriate.” She stepped away from him, breaking contact.

“Oh, Jordan you’re breaking my heart. It���s been almost two years, are you ever going to let go of my mistake?”

“Mistake? You’re full of shit Viktor! You planned to turn me without my permission, that was no goddamn mistake!”

“True, but I truly never meant to hurt you. I just want you back, you’re all I have now.” 

“Bullshit, you should’ve thought better before you pulled that crap on me. I’d rather let a train run me over a thousand times over before I ever think about going back to you!”

Viktor sighed, then laughed.

“You’re stubborn, you really don’t believe me? I’ve kept an eye on you ever since you decided to go on your own. I’ve been watching you every day making sure you would be okay, if I truly wanted to do anything harmful to you I wouldn’t have already done it?”

Jordan thought back to those feelings of being watched she’d experience. It made so much sense now.

“Of course it was you…I should’ve known. You know if you truly loved me, you wouldn’t breach my damn privacy and watch me for every moment of my damn life.”

“I just wanted to keep up with what you were up to, especially after that new boy came into your life. I can smell him on you, and to be frank…it makes me sick.”

Jordan grew more defensive. “If you even try to touch Marko I swear to god you’ll have the devil to pay god dammit.”

He laughed coldly, “Cute, you love him don’t you?”

“Yes, he’s not perfect but I’ll take someone honest over a lying asshole like you. If you want me back, you’ll have to fight me for that.”

Viktor’s face was thoughtful for a moment, the wind started to pick up around them as leaves flew past them and trees swayed back and forth.

“Let’s make a wager on that, how about in a week from now, I will come visit your home. We’ll confront each other and see what happens, and just to be fair, I’ll leave you be for the week so you can get your affairs in order.”

“Fine, I’ll rip your ass to pieces, you just wait.”

He smiled, “I’m looking forward to it, by the way, don’t even think about bringing any of the clowns with you. This is between me and you only, please don’t disappoint me.”

As Viktor finished speaking, a new presence made themself known.

David stood in the same opening “Get away from her you prick.”

“I was already on my way out.” Viktor quickly left not before giving Jordan a quick peck on her cheek. She couldn’t even say anything due to how sudden it was, she only watched him leave swiftly into the woods behind her.

“He didn’t hurt you did he?” David approached her watching her.

“Not physically.” She turned back to face David.

“Don’t let him get to you, we’ll put his dick in the dirt before he even has the chance to take you away from us.”

David moved to leave before Jordan ran in front of him, cutting him off. 

“NO!” He raised an eyebrow at her sudden outburst, “I mean, no. Don’t bother.”

“Don’t tell me you feel bad for that bastard.”

“Of course not! I mean you can’t tell anyone about this, because I told Viktor that I’d confront him on my own. He doesn’t want anyone else with me, me bringing you guys along means I’m admitting defeat!”

“Who gives a shit! What makes you think you’ll be able to take him on by yourself when you couldn’t even take me on.”

“I’ve gotten stronger!”

“Bullshit.”

Jordan moved to attack David, but with a quick reaction he grabbed her wrist and crushed it under his vampiric strength making her falter. He let go and watched as Jordan fell to her knees in defeat.

“You going to fight him on your own is a death sentence, I understand what you’re trying to do. But I refuse to let one of our members get themselves killed because of their own stupidity. Imagine how Marko would feel if you were killed.”

Jordan stared up at David in disbelief, but she realized that he was being genuine. He stared her down making her know her place in their coven, Jordan stood up slowly.

“That’s a good point, but I will never truly be Marko’s mate if I never get rid of Viktor for good. I appreciate your care, but I need you to keep this between you and me. If I need you guys to help me, I’ll let you know. Just give me a chance to at least try, I’m tired of running.”

David said nothing, he sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine…but if Marko finds out, it’s your problem.”

“Fine by me.”

---------------------------------------------

Taglist (If you wanna be tagged, just ask ^ ^)

@blog4horror @ria-coolgirl @oceansrose2002 @hypocriticaltypwriter @deliciousfestsalad @kristel1990

[aroace-poly-show]

wtf man

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

[shredsandpatches]

had a conversation with my mother yesterday in which she was very clearly looking for reasons to be convinced I'm going to lose my job any minute (taking vacation time, spending too much time on performing arts, enrollment being down because of FAFSA issues, just being generally unsightly) and it really makes me feel like confirming her priors about education and Liberal Hypocrisy and nobody wanting to look at fat people is more important to her than my continued success and happiness in life

[da-proti-toku-grem]

how do you know the difference between a huge anxiety attack and a panic attack?

[bloomingbluebell]

i've been avoiding practicing driving because i've been preferring being in my own world lately and i HAVE to pay attention when driving so i just. don't. drive.

[doctorweebmd]

afa;ldf;lakdflk;asdf urgh sorry i've been MIA i unexpectedly got super busy with the grant and my grand rounds and having to pick up shifts for people with emergencies/illnesses/moving PLUS my 'graduation' is tomorrow so i'm all over the place AHHHHH

[griffworks]

Hmmmm

[arlo-venn]

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned, but we’ve been keeping Juni and Banjo separate from each other for the past several weeks due to an increase in fights (we think it’s from moving Arlo upstairs so it’s a weird transition period for them). They do still get to play outside in the yard together bc there aren’t any triggers out there for them, but inside they’ve been mostly apart and closely monitored. There is some resource guarding involved but mostly it’s that Juni gets pushed over threshold and then Banjo’s barking right next to her at the same trigger causes Juni to redirect toward her. Juni punctured Banjo AND Tyrell during the big fight that caused the separation (because Arlo passed by the other side of the door). They’re doing better though. We have long lines in the living room so we can all be in the same room together without them being able to reach each other (Not Arlo, none of them are ready for that), which seems to work for them.

Anyway, that’s why this picture is so cute. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen them laying together.

[thegirlisuedtobe]

ayo my chest feels really tight, has been since yesterday, dads getting antiacid but im scared this is gonna end up in a heart attack, if i dont update please assume smth has happened to me

[terrorbirb]

I think permanent corrective actions and root cause analysis exist solely to cause people with OCD and anxiety disorders to ruin their brains.

[finalhaunts]

-