#ots actuslly gotten really bad. and then no one seems to notice . and u wont ask for help or attention and thus cannot and will not blame
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its when ur current depression becomes an equal rival to the worst year of ur life that its truly over
#vent#looping the same song i did when i was like 16 for the first time since i was 16. its over.#i hate this like actjally. like actually. but when u say ur depressed and want to kill urself over everything it doesnt feel as serious whe#ots actuslly gotten really bad. and then no one seems to notice . and u wont ask for help or attention and thus cannot and will not blame#anyone for not giving u any. so ur best comfort is just fuckinfn. x reader fics. instesd of anyttingelse#sigh. lying. im sure people uave noticed but we all knoe no ones going to actjally do anything. i wont reach out and neither will u. notrll#i dont know. fuckass purgatory of wanting to isolate and wanting to be checked on and not feeling cared for bjt knkwing its on U etc etc#my personal and constant hell#and like what cluld anyone reallydo. idk. wharever. i hate myself i hate evrrything in my life i hope a truck hits me#dentist on friday. wish i didnt get anxiety spikes everytime i had to get a cleaning. me and my fuckass dental hygiene and weak teeth#just keep crying and feeling abxious and self loathing all thetime. and then u feel so fucking stupid bc everyone around u has it way harde#and jts like what is my probprm. my life should be so so easy so why is this happening to me menrwlly and emotjoanlly#ihate this. i hate mysrlfnsoabd i hate my life i hate my brain i need to die i neeed to fall putof a window#and dont get me starteddon my envious jealouzpathetic nature. seeing people being smarter and successful and happy and w friends#icant do this dawg. hope i die
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