#sam's whole thing is not knowing when people are upset with her

[rebuke-me]

the pilot program are all autistic in this essay i will

[jenanigans1207]

What I wanted so badly was for Mary to learn about her boys from Cas. Like that night where Cas finds her when she can’t sleep and she expresses that she just doesn’t know anything about her sons since she missed so much?? All I wanted was for Cas to sit down with her at the table and just start telling her about them. Basic stuff at first: their favorite foods, their sleeping habits, the stuff he’s just observed by being their passenger for years.

And then I want him to say something totally Cas, like “Dean always wears more layers but that’s because his body naturally runs two degrees colder than Sam’s. But that’s normal for him and not indicative of any illness, so it’s nothing to worry about.”

And as they talk, it starts to get a little deeper, and Cas tells her more. He tells her about what she missed, about all the horrible things that happened to her sons and how they coped; how it changed them. And he tells her about Sam, he does, but really it ends up being all about Dean.

He’ll tell her about how Dean clenches his fists when he’s upset, even as he tries to keep his face impassive. About how Dean drums his fingers on the steering wheel when he’s anxious. He’ll tell her about Dean’s nightmares, about the ways he’s chosen to cope. He’ll tell her how to know when to approach Dean and when to give him space, how to gently acknowledge what he’s feeling without pushing him too far.

And with every word he says, Mary’s curious head tilt from when she’d seen them hug in reunion turns into a bone deep type of certainty. Because Cas is telling her things that only someone who paid special attention would notice. He’s telling her things that only someone very, very close to her son’s heart would know.

Cas will tell her the cliff notes of what they’ve been through; will tell her how the whole world looked to Dean and he rose to the occasion over and over again. He’ll tell her about Dean’s doubts in himself and then vehemently declare them as wrong and explain, at length, why. He will tell her about the people Dean has loved— the people who loved him like he was their own— and lost. He will tell her about Bobby, Ellen, Jody, Donna, and Charlie. He’ll tell her about Claire, too, and how Dean stepped up.

And the whole time, Mary will have this realization that oh, she may not have been around to guide and protect her sons, but there was always someone there to care for them and support them when they needed it. She will realize that she and John may have left them, but they were never alone.

But more than that, there was someone there for Dean. Someone picking Dean over and over again while Dean picked Sam, or the world, over himself. There was someone fighting for Dean when he wasn’t fighting for himself. There was someone who saw Dean, and loved him unconditionally.

Sitting across from her, at the asscrack of dawn, filling her in on all the things she missed was every mother’s dream: someone who loved her child with the kind of devotion that would break the world. And from the sounds of the stories she was being told, it did break the world. Someone whose love is entirely untainted and comes without any strings attached.

It’s so clear to her as she listens to Cas talk that Cas loves Dean with no expectations. That loving Dean is something he just does, like he doesn’t know how not to love Dean, like the possibility of not loving him never occurred to Cas. He loves Dean in a way that Mary knows can and will soothe Dean’s sharp edges and battered heart. He loves Dean in the kind of pure way that tells Mary that it will continue to endure and overcome everything without ever diminishing, even the littlest amount.

Mary, through tears, will tell Cas how she always told Dean that there were angels watching over him. And before Cas can make some comment about Dean being the Righteous Man and the interest of most of Heaven, she will place a hand over his and give him a motherly look that will convey all the things she’s not sure how to say— and the things she’s not sure Cas is ready to hear yet. And Cas will flush and look away, mumbling about how her son is very special to him.

And when she pulls him into a hug and murmurs thank yous into his shoulder, she will be comforted in the knowledge that her sons turned out to be wonderful men, and that they managed to stay together through everything. She will be comforted to know that no matter what happens, no matter her shortcomings as she tries to fill a role she never meant to leave, Sam will have Dean and Dean will have Cas.

And this time, when Cas tells her that she belongs here, she will believe him. And she will tell him that he belongs here, too.

And when Dean wakes up a few hours later and wanders in to find Mary and Cas still chatting over the table, he’ll be surprised— but pleased— to find Mary looking more at ease. He’ll be pleased when she gives him a warm hug and pats him on the cheek and tell him with all the sincerity that only a mother can muster that she’s glad that he met Castiel. And when Dean agrees, a little confused, Mary will just smile at him.

“I always said I’d like a third son.” She says, “so give him a reason to take our last name, won’t you?”

And Dean will splutter and turn fifteen shades of red as he steadfastly doesn’t look at Cas but mumbles something that suggests he’s not against the idea at all.

And Mary will laugh again and wink at an equally red Cas before heading towards the kitchen like “Cas said waffles are your favorite, so I hope you’re hungry!”

[randomshyperson]

My Sweet Valentine - Wanda Maximoff Oneshots

Summary: Delayed in planning Valentine's Day, you and Wanda try to do something together. The spider routine ends up getting in the way, but that doesn't mean the date was lost.

Warnings: (+18) bottom!wanda, enchanted strap, creampie, fingering, dry humping, very fluff and domestic, established relationship, both r and w are briefly specified to be introverted. | Words: 3.206k

A/N-> I had this idea while I was rewatching Sound!Euphonium, I didn't catch the relation to it but I ended up writing this on my phone again so forgive me if there are spelling mistakes. It's always great writing Spider!Reader, I hope you enjoy it.

General Masterlist | AO3 |

-&-

To plan Valentine's Day with your girlfriend should be an easy thing. 

But for two Avengers who happen to be the most introverted antisocial people on earth - and those were Natasha's Romanoff words, not yours - the task could be really hard.

But it was you and Wanda's first Valentine's Day as a couple and you were really late on schedule.

While Natasha planned to have the most incredible and romantic trip to Greece with Maria and Tony and Pepper made reservations at some exclusive fancy Italian restaurant, you and Wanda were side to side laying on your apartment carpet. Trying to decide what you could do together by reading some flyers that were spread around the floor.

Wanda had one of the fancy restaurants in her hands when she suggested: “How about dinner?”

You gaze at the restaurant propaganda, recognizing the name and the building from your little web-swinging adventures.

“The Geller’s is nice but it will be really crowded during Valentine's. And we both hate when places are too full.” You reason, receiving an agreement sound. “Maybe we can ask for takeout?”

Wanda chuckles. “On Valentine's Day? Every place will mess up our orders, I'm sure of it. Places are normally understaffed, ordering food on holidays is like asking for them to mess up your food.”

You sigh deeply. “Yeah, you're totally right. So, maybe I can cook?”

She smiles. “We are going for food poisoning then, huh?” She teases making you chuckle with an expression of false offense. You playfully bumped your shoulder on hers but you don't move away after. The touch is warm and nice. “You cook then.”

“Yeah, but is not like we would find any free spots anywhere. We delay this way too much.” She mutters without sounding really upset. Her words were true, you both have been dancing around this date for almost three months now ever since Tony showed everyone his and Pepper's reservations. But neither of you was that anxious to be locked with another hundred couples in some loud restaurant with extra expensive and not-that-good food.

The restaurants were not the only thing discarded - Yelena and Kate's idea of a date, and band concerts were also politely declined. Mostly because neither you nor Wanda felt like facing a whole weekend of poor public hygiene and the crazy routine of musical festivals while babysitting Natasha's little sister who would definitely get really drunk with her girlfriend.

Steve was the one who suggested the most quiet and family thing, a road trip to the countryside. But since he was going with Bucky and you and Wanda didn't wish to be traumatized by their physical display of affection, their invitation was also declined.

Back on the floor of your apartment, you helped Wanda with the papers around the floor.

You were worried she would be upset about the lack of plans - even Sam with his eternal bachelor status was having a date night with some old colleague from the army. You worried that Wanda might think you're not excited to spend time with her when it is pretty much the opposite of it.

“You know, we don't really have to do anything just because everyone is doing.” You start, hands ready to catch the papers she's bringing. “We could just watch a movie.”

Wanda smiles, the papers are put in your hands but she doesn't move hers away.

“If you brought wine it would be like any other date night.”

“That's not a bad thing, right?” You retort immediately, eyes anxious towards hers. She frowns, a confused chuckle escaping her.

“No, I mean… you think that too right?”

You shrug; “I just want to spend Valentine's and any other day with you, Wands. What we are doing doesn't matter much.”

She smiles, coming closer to kiss you on the lips. But the kiss is quicker than you wished. One of her hands caresses your cheek as she speaks:

“Good to know, darling, 'cause I'll be watching you do the dishes tonight.”

You chuckle, rolling her eyes at her teasing but pouting when she escapes your attempt at a second kiss.

-&-

Valentine's Day is unfortunately a busy day for the spider.

It was true that you and Wanda didn't plan anything big but you wanted to bring her some flowers and her favorite chocolate but after fighting another dressed-up lunatic at the city hall and avoiding three different catastrophes, anything inside your backpack was definitely destroyed.

You swing back into your apartment with the mess of your gifts dripping to the floor. The wine bottle broke and soaked the chocolate and the poor flowers. Bye-bye to any college homework you forgot there.

Throwing the item at the sink, your body towards the couch was the second thing you threw. 

And against the soft pillows the day tiredness caught up at you. With the thought that you would rest your eyes for five minutes, you woke up hours later with the door locked.

Wanda's angry arrival was also an efficient clock.

“God, what is wrong with you? I've been calling you all day!” She slammed the door behind her, and the next second the day's newspaper was thrown at you. “Do you have any idea how worried I was? We have talked about this! You can't just fight some three-sized villain and vanish without a word! I thought-” But she stops herself, taking a deep breath when her voice cracks. You feel so terrible sorry. You know very well that Wanda has lost enough people for the whole ghosting thing to be too hard on her. Intentional or not. 

You get up. “Hey, I'm so sorry Wands, my phone broke and I came right here and closed my eyes for like two seconds. I'm sorry.” But Wanda shook her head, covering her eyes for a moment. She was not even that mad at you, it was clearly an accident that you forgot to call. But she has been so nervous all day worried about you that she needed a minute. Suddenly, she catches a glimpse of the wine-soaked flowers at the kitchen counter and frowns. “What is that?”

The slight indignation about the mess of an apartment you both worked hard to keep clean vanished the second she realized those were gifts.

You fixed your hair awkwardly. “Hm, I was trying to make a romantic gesture. But I forgot I'm always on some freak radar.”

Wanda's hands reached for the flowers and as gentle as her touch, her magic flowed from her fingers to take all the wine away. In no time, the petals were as beautiful and healthy as when you brought it.

“This is really not fair, darling.” She starts, moving to check the rest of the gifts. “You made it to the front page and I have every right to be mad you didn't call through the suit to let me know you're alive.” You wanted to mutter that you're still getting used to the new suit and its high-tech functions, but Wanda is turning at you again with crossed arms.

“It’s not fair, how hard you're making to stay mad at you.”

You gave her a lopsided smile. “So, you like the chocolate that much, huh?”

She rolled her eyes, trying to contain her smile. “Why don't you go shower while I make dinner? There's grease from Rino's suit all over your face.”

You click with your tongue, swinging a little. “Let me guess, you not joining me at the shower is my punishment for not calling through the suit?”

She finally let that smile escape. “Clever girl.”

You chuckle to yourself before nodding and heading to the bathroom.

-&-

Forgotten dinner plates at the living room table when Wanda reached the chocolate box. She shared them with you during the sitcom marathon you too were doing but after finding yourself hypnotized by her laugh for the fourth time in a row, you gave up eating at all.

The last chocolate was put away when she caught you staring.

“What?” 

“What what?” You retort with a chuckle, having some pride over the soft blush of her cheeks.

“You were staring.” She says then, drifting her gaze from the TV to you with some resistance. You know her enough that it's because Wanda is terrible at hiding her own shyness under your loving glance. She always was. 

“Can you blame me?” Your teasing just makes her blush more. You just decide to make it worse. “You're simply too charming not to be looked at. So gorgeous, so pretty. I feel so lucky.”

“Stop it.” She giggles with rosy cheeks at your praise. But despite her words, she opens her arms as an invitation for you to come closer. You practically jump from your spot - a few centimeters from her since your last trip to the kitchen to grab sodas - and greet the warmth of her embrace.

Wanda hugs your body while you melt into her, the soft caress on your spine being more than enough to bring back your interrupted slumber that evening. But somehow you manage to stay wide awake, perhaps because the way you press your face into her boobs makes her giggle and playfully tug at your hair, which happens to have a completely different effect on you. 

Her body tenses up a little when your lips start sucking at her collarbone, a heavy sigh escaping her lips. You suddenly recall that it has been some time, a week maybe two since you had enough free time to be this close. 

Your lovely girlfriend probably missed you as much as you missed her.

The soft sucking turns into something more determined, then into a bite and a licking that turns Wanda into a panting mess. She grows restless under you, fingers tugging at your hair with some guidance towards your movements in her neck until finally, your mouth meets her again.

Hot open-mouthed kisses before softer ones. You kiss and she kisses you back until all of your clothes are disheveled around your bodies and she looks up at you with pleading eyes and slightly open lips. Begging for more.

“Wanna take this to the bedroom?” You suggest inches from her lips but she shakes her head, fingers dancing under your shirt.

“You can have me right here.” She whispers back, stealing all your coherent thoughts for a second. 

Your hands are shaking a bit with eagerness when you pull at your clothes, with Wanda's help they are off in no time. Her chest heaves when you take her top off and Wanda stares back while you can't seem to be able to look away from her tits.

“You good there?” She teases you breathlessly when your lack of action lingers. You chuckle, hands at her sides. 

“Yeah, just give me a minute.” You retort managing an affectionate roll of eyes from her.

“You're such a dork.” She giggles but purposely lifts her chest in your direction, making you swallow hard. When you don't take the bait immediately, she sighs. “I would love for you to more than stare, detka.”

You groan, hovering over her. “Well, your wish is my command, madam” You reply, leaning down to capture her lips. Teasing Wanda with soft bites on her lower lip every time you break the kiss before starting another turns her into a needy mess under you. She gets impatient very quickly and brings her hands to your cheeks, pulling you down with determination. Her tongue takes the lead in a heated kiss that takes all the air out of your lungs. 

Panting against her mouth while trying to match the intensity of her demand, you let your hands grope around her body towards her chest, effectively taking the lead again when you start playing with her hardened nipples and Wanda loses her ability to kiss you back.

When she whimpers into your mouth, her hips restless while your fingers pinch her cute tits, you chuckle. “Ah, is there something you want, baby?”

She struggles to speak firmly. "I need you to stop teasing and fuck me." You grunt at her answer. You would have obeyed immediately if you hadn't been able to feel Wanda shaking. She gasps as you adjust, your knee finding her middle and giving her something to grind against as you resume your actions on her breasts. She throws her head back, biting her lip hard as her hips move almost of their own accord.

It's a hot mess, her first orgasm of the night. You didn't even have to take off all her clothes. When Wanda shivers terribly, and you feel the wetness against your knee, you bite down at her tit and that makes her let out a muffled scream.

Wanda is panting and her face is very flushed when you look at her again, her expression satisfied after an intense orgasm.

You hum happily, moving your hands down as you tilt your face to kiss her on the lips. She gasps into your mouth when she feels your fingers draw a path through her ruined panties.

"You made such a mess, sweetheart." You whisper between one kiss and another, two digits pushing gently without even removing her underwear. Wanda arches toward you, squeezing your shoulders for something to hold on to. Her green eyes are completely dilated now and you love how they display a vulnerable begging. Pulling your fingers out again, you let your thumb draw circles on her covered clit and enjoy the way her thighs tremble around you. "Tell me what you want, Wanda."

She has a little difficulty responding while feeling you teasing her, but despite noticing her heartbeat against your fingertips, you don't interrupt your movements. If anything, they become even more determined. Wanda pants, hips trying to match the rhythm of your fingers.

"C-can we use the strap tonight?" She manages out of breath. "I like feeling you come inside me."

Your witch girlfriend's favorite toy is somewhere in the room, and given the busy schedule of two superheroes, it wasn't used as often as you would like. Wanda has barely suggested, and you're already nodding, panting aroused just imagining yourself stretching Wanda again.

But suddenly your fingers push the fabric out of the way, and you sink inside her without warning, ripping a moan from her throat.

"Give me one more first." You demand, watching as Wanda nods in near desperation, brow furrowed at her rapidly building orgasm. Your rhythm is brutal, and she squeezes and squeezes until you can barely push your fingers inside her. You bring your free hand to one of her thighs, forcing her open as you adjust to improve your reach. Wanda sees stars. She lets go of your shoulders to grab the cushions and ends up destroying half of them with magical expelling when she finally falls over the edge.

An impressed chuckle escapes you at the scene. You're usually the one responsible for destroying things with your spider strength - It's always nice to see Wanda lose some of the control she's fought so hard to have.

Kissing her softly, you feel her smile in some exhaustion. She needs a few seconds, so you pull out your fingers and suck them clean while green eyes watch you from below. Wanda wants to kiss you again, but you adjust to carry her on your lap, and after two orgasms in a row, she won't contradict you.

She feels the soft blankets against her back a moment later and relaxes fully into the bed as you move around the room working to find and put on the strap. It doesn't take more than two minutes, yet Wanda sighs impatiently before letting her hands roam her own body, pinching her breasts and teasing downwards. She bites her lip at the soaked state she finds herself in, tentatively collecting some of that moisture before hearing a husky laugh that makes her look up.

"You don't have to play alone, I'm right here." You let her know softly, but Wanda swallows at the sight of your naked figure and the enchanted hardness between your legs. Of all the things she learned to do, that honestly has to be her best spell. One of your hands grabs the silicone, instinctively or not, imitating the masturbation gesture that Wanda is making and she shudders to the tips of her toes, her body on fire. Her hand moves out of her panties immediately, raising it into the air in a beckoning gesture. You don't need to be told twice.

It's a breathless kiss when you reach her face again, equally eager to feel each other, there's a little war of pushing and pulling until Wanda feels completely pressed into the bed, the strap rubbing against her entrance.

You pull away when she whimpers - It's just to pull down her panties, and Wanda kicks the item away as you climb back up. Your mouth finds hers again so that when you align the strap and sink into her, you can swallow her moans.

The stretch is slow and careful, very different from the breathless way you were making out a few minutes ago. Wanda lets her nails dig into your lower back as you fight the urge to be rougher.

She gets used to the size very quickly, the creaminess of her previous orgasms making an obscene sound that makes her ears redden. You break the kiss to ask if she's ready and the only response you get is a determined throw of her hips up that registers her impatience.

In all quickies, you're always rough. Desperate to feel her, because you miss Wanda as much as she misses you, and in the rush, there's no time to prolong moments like this. But it's the first time in many months that you're relaxed, and you can thrust slowly and sensually inside Wanda, letting her feel every movement of your cock inside her warm walls as you kiss her and whisper praises in her ear.

Heat is spread under your skin, and sweat accumulates with the slow stimulation. You feel closer each time you sink inside her, and when Wanda starts whimpering in your ear, it feels like an impossible task to hold it.

"You're close?" You pant, hips starting to buckle. "I don't think… I can hold it anymore... Wands-" You choke, letting your face fall against her collarbone. The knot in your abdomen explodes without warning, and you moan deeply as you spill yourself inside Wanda, the enchanted strap vibrating inside her. It turns out that feeling you come was the push she needed, and Wanda sobs as she feels the blinding pleasure hit her, following you into climax a second later.

For a moment, all that can be heard in that room are your breathless sighs until your hoarse and satisfied chuckles emerge.

You remain inside her when you adjust so that you rest your elbows on the mattress and see her face.

"Hey, little witch."

She pushes back her sweaty hair with one hand, the other moving to rest on your neck. "Hey, spider."

Your nose brushes against hers. "I think we nailed Valentine's Day."

She giggles before pulling you for a kiss.

[startedwellthatsentence]

I would like to remind everyone in the Doctor Odyssey fandom that while “closed triad that replicates monogamy in every way except there’s three people now” is one hyperspecific way that polyamory can be practiced, it is not the only way that polyamory can be practiced.

It’s not even the only or most common form of non-monogamy that has been shown ON THE SHOW. We’ve had hierarchical non-monogamous relationships, both toxic and healthy (Man with wife, girlfriend, and mistress; gay couple who enjoy group sex); we’ve had people with multiple partners, both toxic and healthy (wedding couple fucking the best man and also many other people; Single Sam having sex with the majority of people during singles week; the other background characters during gay week); and we’ve seen ONE other closed triad (captain’s brother and boyfriends).

Exploring other forms of polyamory is actually one of the best ways, IMO, of us getting to have the Ody3 together while still getting multiple seasons of a network show (which NEEDS relationship drama to be viable — we KNOW they can’t sustain this show with just their silly “medical” plots).

Tristan seems to have quick, surface level attractions with a lot of people (guest with the heart problem, Vivian, Spencer, Max) but it takes him a LONG time to act on them (he pined after Avery for years without making a move; he told Vivian that he wants to take things very slow) — what does that look like if he’s in a poly relationship? How can Avery deal with her jealousy in a healthy way when she doesn’t know which of Tristan’s flirtations may turn serious? How does Max deal with not having all the information at all times?

Avery has jealousy issues that she is VERY MUCH in denial about — rationally she knows that Tristan and Max are allowed to be in whatever relationships they want, especially when she has specifically told them that, so she shouldn’t feel jealous or upset and hates that she does anyway. She has to figure out how to deal with both not wanting a monogamous relationship and not having a healthy way to deal with jealousy. Potential plots: Avery successfully achieves a polyamorous relationship, realizes that this doesn’t actually fix the disconnect between her thoughts and feelings; they talk about their relationship and how it will work, Avery agrees to things that are rational and then gets upset and then is angry about being upset, etc etc etc.

Max likes to be knowledgeable and in control. If he ever seriously considers the whole poly thing, he might start reading every book and article available, throwing around words like metamour and compersion — and then do what he seems to prefer, which is use that orthodoxy to protect himself from actually reflecting on what he really feels. We know that Tristan doesn’t like when Max gets arrogant, and we know that Avery is going to have a lot of trouble with the whole compersion thing — would this affect their relationship? Would Max use relationship anarchy to further run away from his dual needs for control and hedonism? Speaking of hedonism:

Max also loves to put himself into plausibly deniable situations in which sex might happen — taking Tristan to his quarters, watching Archer in a hotel room with Tristan, going to Avery’s quarters, taking Ken to the cryotherapy room, taking Tristan AND Avery to his quarters, taking Brooke to his quarters (I had to go back and add more because I kept remembering examples). How many more times will this happen before Avery comes completely unhinged? This seems to be his primary method of flirting — would he stop if he were in a relationship, or would he keep doing it with the “it was just ___” excuses?

Joshua Jackson called the show pro-polyamorous — if this wasn’t just a bunch of PR bullshit but was actually true, then I’d like to see some explorations of polyamory in its multiple forms. And considering the textual evidence from the show itself, which has already in 9 episodes explored many kinds of non-monogamy, I don’t actually think this is impossible.

[angelsdean]

I agree with your Mary posts! I also think Dean asking her to "be a mom" in that scene is not about wanting her to baby them but simply just wanting her to choose her sons over the organization that let one of its members literally torture and r*pe Sam only a few episodes before that!

Literally Dean is so very clear in that scene that what he's upset abt is her choosing the BMOL over them. Not abt her not "parenting" them or playing "mommy." He's just upset that she doesn't seem to want to be around them, and that she instead has been working with their enemies. And even if that wasn't her intention, even if she was in fact doing it "for" them and trying to protect them by working with the enemy they're still allowed to be hurt by her decision.

She tells them that she's been struggling, trying to play three decades of catch up and Dean tells her they have been struggling too. They have been grieving her their whole lives. But now that she's here they want her there. She's finally alive, they finally have a chance to be together, and she keeps leaving. And that hurts. But he also understands and sympathizes. He tells her, "You said that you needed time. No, you said you need space. So we gave you your space." They have been patient with her. Dean understands very well needing time and space to process things. But what hurts is that, from his perspective, it seems like she is choosing anyone but them. So when he says, "No, you needed space from us," and when she says she's "trying" and he cuts in with "How 'bout for once, you just try to be a mom?" IMO it's less about wanting her to "mother" them and play mommy and more about wanting her to be present in their lives, to choose them, to unconditionally love and support them and shoulder some of the pain and burdens they have been carrying on their own their whole lives. He wants, for once, to have a parent that CHOOSES him over the "mission." Like, don't people think that maybe seeing another parent walk out on him and choose hunting / work over being present in his life is a little bit upsetting / salting old wounds?

Anyways, I love Mary, though some may think it's a hashtag Crime to sympathize with Dean in this scene but like ??? Some people are projecting a lot of stuff Dean did not say or express in that scene. His upset and main criticism is about her choosing the BMOL over them, that's made clear in this exchange:

Dean: So between us and them – Mary: It's not like that. Dean: Yeah, Mary, it is. And you made your choice. So there's the door.

It's not about wanting her to play some "mom" role as if they were children. He wants her to choose them over their adversaries, and to be around them, get to know them, something both Dean and Sam want to do.

Anyways, I am always saying I would have loved more from this arc esp re: Mary's grief over losing her "babies." I think a lot of what Mary's feeling would've hit harder if they'd showed us more of her grief. (The "I need you to see me" scene hits so good for me bc it's tied up with this complicated grief. Mary finally acknowledging that adult Dean IS her baby. Truly SEEING him, instead of the perpetual 4 yr old that lives in her mind). But I don't blame her for wanting / needing space to process (deancoded!) or for throwing herself into hunting to Cope (john-and-sam coded!). Or for struggling with her identity in this new life. I enjoy all the tension and her being flawed and real and messy.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

More Than Meets The Eye

Pairing: Bartender!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~3.7k

Warnings: fluff

Summary: Natasha stays over for a few days and kicks up drama for you and Bucky. She makes you realize that there is more than meets the eye when it comes to Bucky Barnes.

One in a Million Series

Square Filled: day-in-the-life (2024) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Natasha is usually very pristine and professional. She is widely known across the state as one of the best realtors the business has ever seen. She has clients who go for multi-million dollar homes, and she scores nearly every single sale she gets. If she acts out in public, it can largely affect her business, so she tends to keep to herself.

Not when she has alcohol in her system.

Like tonight. She’s in a fling with a musician who she only needs whenever she’s stressed, but it works for both of them. There aren’t any strings attached and they can still get their work done without the stress of a relationship. Natasha turns into a whole other person when she’s drunk. The slut in her comes out and she becomes even more bold. She’s normally shy and reserved.

Not tonight.

Whenever the musician is in town, he tends to stay at her place since he’s only in town for a few days. She texted you twenty minutes ago from a club downtown where the musician is playing. Clubs are not your thing but you’re there when she needs you. After checking in at the door, you push your way inside where there is a sea of people on the dancefloor.

You’re standing on a ledge that overlooks the club. You can either go upstairs where there are more private areas for people just enjoying the music with some drinks while the party is downstairs. From where you are, you can see Natasha and the musician on the other side of the bar.

“Natasha!” You yell even though you know she won’t hear you. You push your way through the sea of people, trying to ignore the hot sweaty bodies bumping into you. “Natasha!”

She turns when she hears her name. “Thank God, you’re here.”

“What’s going on?”

“I caught him with another woman in my bed! My bed!”

“You were gone. I have needs. What do you want me to do?” the musician groans.

“That’s my apartment, asshole! I want your shit out now!”

“I leave in three days. You get it back then.”

You can’t believe how he’s acting but you really don’t want to do this here and now. You grab her arm and pull her toward you. “Come on, he’s not worth it.”

“He’s at my apartment. I don’t want to go back there,” she groans.

“You can stay with me. Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

She’d be more upset if she didn’t just have nearly eight shots earlier. Thankfully, she listens to you and leaves the club with you. Your car is in a gas station parking lot since there wasn’t any parking near or at the club.

“He’s not worth it, Nat.”

“I know, but still. It’s like I’ve got no game lately. All I want is a nice man who will take care of me.”

“Well, you got me.”

She wraps an arm around your shoulder. “I do have you. You’re my best friend.”

“I love drunk you,” you giggle. Ten minutes pass and you’re at your place. In the elevator ride up, you think about what the guys might be doing. “So, listen, the guys are home and I don’t need you to be all sexual and grabby like I know you get.”

“Got it,” she nods.

“I’m serious, Nat. Best behavior.”

“I hear you. Best behavior,” she grins.

“Wait here.” You open the door and walk inside. Bucky is playing video games, Steve is trying to read a book, and Sam is blowing straw wrappers at Steve. Some of them hit him and others fly on his book or lap. “Hey, guys. I have Natasha with me, and it looks like she’s going to stay with us for a few days.” Steve perks up at Natasha’s name. “Just letting you know, she is very drunk and she’s very bold and loose with her body. I am so sorry for whatever she might try on you guys.”

You open the front door and Natasha walks in with a sly smirk on her face.

“Natasha. Wow, you look amazing,” Steve says, forgoing his book altogether.

“Thanks, baby,” she grins.

“Okay, you can sleep on the couch tonight, and we’ll figure something out tomorrow. Let me get you some blankets and a pillow.”

You leave her with the guys and walk into your room. Seconds later, you hear the stereo turn on and loud music is blasted. You sigh knowing this was a possibility but hoped it wasn’t going to happen. When you walk into the living room, you see Natasha, Steve, and Sam dancing along to the music. Bucky is still on the couch, clearly not wanting any part of this.

“Natasha, you should really get some sleep.”

“Dance first! Bucky, come on!”

“I’m okay, really. I’m going to go to bed.”

She shimmies her way over to Bucky who stands up. She pulls him into her body, and he tries to politely get her off him.

“Natasha, come on. He doesn’t want to dance.” She lets him go and he slips by her easily. He looks at you as he passes but doesn’t say anything else. It looks like she won’t be sleeping anytime soon, so you put the blankets and pillows on the couch. “Okay, I’m going to bed. Keep it down in here, please.”

Ten minutes after you leave, Natasha starts to grow tired. Steve jumps at the chance to take her to bed even though he’s not going to do anything with her. He’s a gentleman and that won’t change even if she is intoxicated. He really likes her and if he wants to be with her, he’s going to have to show him he’s not just some fling she’s used to.

“Come on, let me show you to my bed.”

Steve wraps a strong arm around her waist and guides her to his bedroom. She flops onto the bed face first and is out like a light. Steve looks around and grabs a small blanket before draping it over her body. He joins Sam back in the living room and plops down on the couch with a grin.

“Why are you grinning?”

“She’s in my bed. I overheard some conversations she and Y/N have had. All she’s ever had are flings, so I’m going to show her that I can be the gentleman she needs.”

“Yeah, because that’s a way to get a girl into bed,” Sam laughs.

“Just you wait, Sam. It’ll happen.”

In the morning, you wake to Bucky nursing his second cup of coffee. Steve is sleeping on the couch which means Natasha must be in his bedroom.

“Good morning, Bucky.”

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Is that all you’re having for breakfast?” Bucky shrugs and you shake your head. “Not acceptable. You’re a growing man. You need proper food. I’ll make you some.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Nonsense. I want to. Do you like eggs? Pancakes? Waffles?”

“No, Y/N, I’m fine.”

“Eggs and bacon it is,” you smile. “You can have some with me. Plus, I’m sure Natasha and the guys will be hungry when they wake up.”

“I’m fine, Y/N. Stop being so nice to me. You don’t have to…”

“What?” you ask when he stops talking.

“You don’t have to take care of me.”

“Well, someone has to, right? Everyone deserves someone to take care of them every once in a while,” you smile and turn back to the food.

Bucky stares at you in thought. He nods and takes a sip of his coffee. At the smell of food, Sam and Steve wake up. The only person who is sleeping is Natasha, and you can only assume she is going to want a strong cup of coffee, so you start to brew a pot for her. Much like you assumed, she walks out of Steve’s room when she smells the coffee.

“Is that coffee?”

“Brewed a new pot for you. Extra hot. Extra strong.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Natasha. I hope you slept well,” Steve smiles.

“Thank you for letting me use your bed. You didn’t have to.”

“It’s no problem. Our couch isn’t the best, and I didn’t want your back all messed up.”

Sam looks at Steve who smiles knowingly. Natasha pours herself a cup of coffee while you plate the food. You slide one over to Bucky and smile at him.

“Eat. I can hear your stomach growling from over here.”

Bucky doesn’t say a word but accepts the food from you. After a nice breakfast, Natasha hops in the shower to wash of the stink from last night, and Steve strips his bed to wash the sheets. Natasha might smell good, better than most, but she reeked of alcohol last night, and he doesn’t want his bed smelling like that.

You get dressed in a green and white dress that goes down to your knees, and you walk into the bathroom where the lotion is. You pause when you see Sam standing by the sink with a toothbrush in his mouth… without toothpaste. Steve is standing by the towel rack looking at the large amount of products he keeps there. His hair is always silky smooth and his skin always looks amazing. He has some of the best products that you like to steal from time to time.

“What are you guys doing?”

“I’m brushing my teeth,” Sam says in defense.

“I’m just… doing things,” Steve mutters.

Bucky walks into the bathroom and pauses when he notices everyone else. “Is this a normal hangout spot now?”

“Nat, you’ve been in there for ages. Come on,” you say and squirt some lotion onto your hands.

“Sorry, I just can’t seem to find any towels that are bigger.” She slides the curtain back after she secures a towel around her body. All three men are big guys but their waists are slim, so they don’t need big towels, and all of yours are in the washer. “Oh.”

Sam stops brushing his teeth and stares at her while Steve blushes hard. He wants to look but every time he does, his face goes red so he clears his throat and turns away.

“Okay, come on. I have something you can wear.”

Bucky’s brain takes a few minutes to process what’s happening, so he freezes up when she tries to go past him. He barely gives her an inch to move, and you shake your head in disappointment.

“I am very disappointed in all of you.” You look at Bucky. “Especially you. I thought you were better than this.”

“I am sometimes.”

You walk into your room where Natasha is going through your closet for something to wear. You close the door to give her privacy, and she turns holding a shirt you got out of whim. Your style isn’t very flashy but she convinced you to get this shirt that exposes a bit more cleavage.

“No, I haven’t worn it yet. Yes, you can.”

“Thanks,” she grins.

She grabs a pair of jeans that she left over one time and puts those on along with the shirt.

“So, are we going to talk about last night?”

“I blacked most of it out. What happened?”

“You almost gave Bucky a lap dance, and it was cute to watch Steve gush all over you. That boy likes you.”

“Ooh, are we talking about boys?”

“Yeah, like your ex-boyfriend musician. Are you going to kick him out of your apartment?”

“He’s going to be gone in a few days. Can I just stay here until he’s gone?”

“Nat, that’s your place.”

“I know, but you don’t know this guy. He’s a PR nightmare. It’s best if I let him stay there until he’s gone.” You shrug. “Let’s talk about Bucky now.”

“Bucky? What about him?”

“Come on. You say Steve likes me? Bucky likes you.”

“No, he doesn’t. We’re just friends.”

“You can’t be just friends with these guys. Do you really think none of them have ever thought about sleeping with you?”

“Stop, it Nat,” you sigh.

Someone knocks on your door and Bucky opens it.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m going to the store. Do you need anything?”

“Yes,” Nat answers for you. “You should go with him, Y/N, to get that thing you really need.”

“I don’t need a thing.”

“Yes, you do. You need that thing you were telling me about.”

“I wonder what that is,” Bucky mumbles.

“She’ll be right out,” Nat smiles. She closes the door on him and turns to you with a smile. “This is perfect.”

You look at her and your eyes widen. “No, you’re not doing this. You’re not going to come in here and ruin what I have with them. I’m finally happy after Jack, and I really like these guys. I think they’re starting to like me, too.”

“Do you remember telling me about your perfect man? Bucky is everything on your list. Physically strong. Check. Nice smile. Double check. Tall. Triple check. Blue eyes, kind, caring, knows what he wants, and older. Check, check, and check.” She walks closer to you. “Plus, did you see his feet? A guy’s feet always point to what they want, and his were pointing right at you.”

“How would you like him to stand?” You stand and point both feet outward like a duck. “Like this?”

“Come on, go. He’s waiting for you.”

“Hey, are you ready?” Bucky calls out.

“Be there in a sec, bro!”

“Did you just call me bro?”

You pause. “Yeah. I’m coming.” You open the door. “Talk to Steve. I think he can be good for you.”

“Only if you talk to Bucky.”

“Bye,” you roll your eyes.

The ride to the store wasn’t as awkward as you thought it was going to be, but being in the store with all these people, all you could think about were Nat’s words.

“So, how long is she staying?” Bucky asks.

He has a very short list of items to get, and he goes through the different aisles and puts them in the cart.

“Only for a few days. Her douchey ex-boyfriend is staying in her apartment. It’s a long story.”

Everywhere you look there are different kinds of couples. Older, younger, same sex… Everywhere you look, you’re paying attention to their feet. One older couple has both their feet pointed at each other while another couple has theirs pointed away from each other. That couple looks like they don’t enjoy each other’s company as much. Is she right? Bucky says something but you’re too much in your own head to hear what he has to say.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Stop taking care of everyone.”

You look down and notice his feet are pointing right at you. “Oh, my God.”

“What?”

“What?” You look up at him. “Nothing. What?”

“What?” You move slowly around Bucky but he follows you by moving his entire body and not just his head. “What are you doing?” You keep moving around Bucky to get his feet away from you but he keeps turning so that they’re always pointed at you. “I know she’s your best friend, but I didn't mean to insult you. I’m just saying you don’t have to take care of her.”

“I know.”

You do a complete one-eighty around him, yet he still follows you with his feet.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. I’m just trying to see…”

“Look, I’m sorry if I insulted you, but what are you doing right now?”

“I’m just… walking like a friend.”

“Okay, we have one more item on our list and then we can go. We just need toilet paper.”

“I don’t use it,” you say slowly.

“You don’t use toilet paper?”

You chuckle nervously and shake your head. “I mean… That’s not what I meant.” There is some right next to you so you grab the first one you see and put it in the cart. “Okay, we can go now.”

“You’re so weird,” he mutters and walks to the cashier.

Fuck, Natasha. She said something and now she’s in your head like a goddamn parasite. You two leave the store and start the journey back home. Bucky stops at the light and turns to you with confusion on his face.

“Okay, what is going on with you, Y/N?”

“Why do you have to do that? Why do you have to say my name like that?” You imitate him. “Y/N. And why do you have to wear old man clothes all the time?”

“I’m not wearing old man clothes. You don’t like the way I dress?”

“No… I just…” You fan your face. “I just need some air.”

All the windows are open but Bucky doesn’t comment on it. Just then, a woman walks up to the window carrying a bunch of red roses and is trying to sell them at stoplights like this one. You respect her trying to make extra money, but you can’t deal with this right now. All you can think about is Bucky and the fact that you saw his giant penis and the way his feet kept pointing at you.

“Roses for the lady?” the woman grins.

“You want some roses? I’ll buy you some.”

“No, I’m okay.”

Still, Bucky takes out some cash and hands it over to the woman who then gives the roses to him.

“Here, take some roses.”

“No, I don’t want them.”

“They were two dollars. Just take the roses.” You have to get out of here. You unbuckle and open the car door before fleeing. “Y/N, what are you doing? It was a joke. Get back in the car!” you take off running down the street. “Y/N!”

You don’t care if you’re going the wrong way. You just needed out of that goddamn car. It takes you an extra twenty minutes to get home when it could have taken you five in the car, but you needed the walk. You trudge inside your apartment to see Natasha sitting on the couch with a realtor magazine in her hands. She likes to keep up with what’s popular around the city.

“I walked all the way home,” you pant. “I got out of the war and walked all the way home.”

“What happened?”

“You happened, Nat. You got in my head! His feet were pointed at me the whole time.” She nods and stands up. “Is it the way I’m dressed? Is it my posture?”

“Look, I’ll talk to him for you.”

“No, please don’t. Just let me handle this, okay?”

The door opens and Bucky walks in with the groceries. “Okay, what the hell happened, Y/N? I’ve been driving around for the last thirty minutes looking for you. We were in the middle of traffic and you just got out and ran away.”

“I was hot,” you mumble.

“You were so hot that you had to jump out of my car and run?” You lean to the right and fix your posture. “Why are you standing like that?”

“This is how I always stand?”

“I’ve never seen you stand like that.” He shakes his head. “Look, I was worried about you, okay? You can’t just… Don’t do that again, okay?”

Bucky walks away and Natasha grins at you.

“Are you even listening to him? He’s trying to tell you that he likes you.”

“No, he’s just saying he cares about me as a friend.”

“Let’s go ask him.” She takes two steps and you jump on her back to stop her. She turns into the fighter that she is and starts to wrestle you, and you two go crumbling to the ground. “I am trying to help you, Y/N!”

“I don’t need your help, Nat. I like being friends with him. Yes, he has a giant penis that I saw. Yes, he saw me naked. Yes, he might be my dream guy, but none of that matters. He’s my friend and all that will go away if I bring this up. What if you’re wrong? What if he doesn’t like me?”

“A big part of my job is reading people. How do you think I managed to score as much as I have? I’ve managed to talk down narcissists and misogynists to buy more than the selling price. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. You never make the first move.”

“I have before, Natasha. I’ve been burned too many times to let it happen again. I like living here and that might go away because ‘you can read people’. I know you want to take care of me like I take care of you, but I have to handle this. Me, not you.”

“Fine,” she huffs out. “Thank you for letting me stay, but it’s best if I kick Troy out of my place. You got your boy drama and I have mine. Plus, I have a showing later in Beverly Hills I can’t miss.”

“You’re always welcome here.”

She leaves the apartment and Steve comes out of his room.

“Is she gone?”

“Yeah, she is.”

Steve sighs and flops onto the couch. “I don’t know how to do this. She’s not like any woman I have ever met. I thought we had a moment while you were gone, but it’s like it never happened with her.”

“Natasha has been hurt so many times. She had flings because in the last relationship she was in, he… I shouldn’t tell you this, but I will say this. She’s going to make you work for it.”

“That’s what makes it worth it,” he smiles.

“Good luck. She could use a guy like you.”

You’re exhausted by the end of the night, so you do your nighttime routine before going to bed. The first thing you do is brush your teeth. The door opens and Bucky walks in just as you start. You lightly blush just as Bucky grabs his toothbrush. You stand there in silence for a few minutes before you spit out the toothpaste in your mouth.

“Hey, I’m sorry for how I acted before.” Bucky looks at you. “Nat said something that freaked me out, but I’m good now. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“It’s okay,” he says with a mouthful of toothpaste.

He turns to the sink again and continues brushing, and you notice his feet move away from you and back to the sink. To hide your smile, you continue brushing your teeth, and your heart flutters.

x

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[scoobydoodean]

I hate how long the whole Amy thing is drawn out because I hate her ass. But Sam and Dean making up at the end of the whole thing is actually shockingly wholesome. I may hate Amy, but I do support Sam's right to be upset that Dean went behind his back and lied about it. And so does Dean, because lying to Sam about Amy is something Dean's been feeling terrible about for weeks.

When Sam finds out, he says he can't be around Dean. Dean gives Sam space without protest. For a week and a half, they don't speak. It's possible Dean's tried to call, but we see that Sam hasn't left him any messages (and Dean's been checking). Sam and Dean happen to reunite in "The Mentalist" because they just so happen to pursue the same case (because again. As I am always saying. #sam the hunter). Sam is not sure about working together when he first sees Dean, because he's still pissed, but he's also hiding a smile at Dean's antics almost immediately behind his cold exterior. Dean is definitely laying it on thick with the banter and the jokes (as Leviathan!Dean said last episode: Dean thinks he's a comedian) and no one has been there to laugh or glare disapprovingly at his jokes for the last week and a half (as pointedly illustrated when Dean investigates the crime scene alone at the beginning of the episode and tells a joke to an empty room). Dean jumps right into his thoughts on the case quickly, which Sam probably appreciates as he's been pouring over a bunch of lore and case details alone, and he agrees to work together with only a token protest about still being mad at Dean. Big "you're on thin ice" vibes.

But their squabble is so JUICY. First of all, it happens right after a psychic pulls Dean aside to give him a message from Ellen of all people:

I’m sorry, I don't normally do this during business hours, but do you know an Eleanor... or an Ellen? She seems quite concerned about you. She wants to tell you – pardon me – if you don't tell someone how bad it really is, she'll kick your ass from beyond. You have to trust someone again eventually.

And damn—it's a little messy, but Dean goes outside and he starts to communicate.

DEAN: No, we agreed to work the case. We didn't agree for you to be a dick the whole time.

Honestly? I didn't think Sam was being that big of a dick—he was jumping the gun on a few things, including burning the bones (and they end up burning the wrong ones and someone else dies).

SAM: What? DEAN: You're pissed, okay? And you've got a right.

I love this, because Dean's anger is rarely treated as justified no matter what the cause, but Dean's not going to deny someone the right to be mad at him when he's hurt them.

SAM: Yeah, damn straight. DEAN: But enough's enough. SAM: Says who? Look, I'll work this damn case, but you lied to me, and you killed my friend. SAM turns and walks away.

You think Dean's done? Ohhhh buddy he hasn't even gotten started.

DEAN walks after him. DEAN: No, I put down a monster who killed four people, and if you didn't know her, you'd have done the same thing.

Oh SNAP! GET HER ASS!!! SHE FUCKING KILLED PEOPLE SHE THOUGHT WERE BENEATH HER ON THE SOCIAL LADDER AND JUSTIFIED IT WITH HER GODDAMN MORTGAGE!!

SAM: I did know her, Dean.

Amy is special because Sam knew her, so she deserved special treatment... or did she?

DEAN: Yeah, which is why you couldn't do it. SAM stops. DEAN: Look, I get it. There are certain people in this world, no matter how dangerous they are, you just can't.

I wonder who Dean could be thinking of 🤔 Perhaps the angel he refused to believe would ever betray them until it was unwittingly revealed by Cas himself? The angel who broke Sam's brain who Dean still couldn't stop grieving and hoping would come back to himself after? Whose trench coat he's carrying around in his trunk? Then again... Dean did move to kill godstiel when it came right down to it. There is a connection between Dean's feelings about Amy and his feelings about Cas's betrayal though.

SAM: Don't pull that card! That's bull. Look, if I've learned one thing, it's that if something feels wrong, it probably is! DEAN: Usually, yeah. But killing Amy was not wrong. You couldn't do it, so I did. That's what family does – the dirty work. And I woulda told you, eventually, once I knew that this whole "waving a gun at Satan" thing was a one-time show. I think it's reasonable to want to know that you're off the friggin' high dive, Sam. You almost got us both killed, so you can be pissed all you want, but quit being a bitch.

God DAMN! That bit about family is going to come back and bite Dean in the ass in a HUGE way, but Dean's sorting through his feelings about what went down with Amy, and he's taking a stand: 1) Lying to Sam/going behind his back was wrong 2) Sam has every right to be mad at him, but if they're going to work, they need to work professionally and efficiently—Sam can't just bulldoze. 3) Killing Amy in of itself wasn't wrong. She murdered four people with no remorse, and the kind of favoritism Sam showed her was dangerous.

Dean's also snapping back on the trust aspect of this that's very much in play, because Amy herself isn't necessarily even what Sam's most mad about. He's mad that Dean didn't trust him and went behind his back. This is a little eye-brow-raising anyway because Sam very much went behind Dean's back first, but add that Sam left Dean alone and defenseless while he laid up with a broken leg while creatures from another dimension were hunting them, and refused to answer the phone with the context that he'd been actively hallucinating so badly that he almost murdered Dean and killed himself. It doesn't justify Dean lying to him, but it puts Dean's stress and his decision to lie in context, together with Dean's rejection of Sam showing Amy favoritism.

I said this is Dean communicating, and he really is communicating a lot of new information about his state of mind when you look at this from Sam's POV. Sam has been worried about Dean for weeks, and Dean's been refusing to talk about anything that might be bothering him. Now Dean's unleashed a lot of pent up thoughts and perspective, while still validating Sam's right to be angry that Dean lied. And it actually softens Sam's perspetive toward Dean, along with the case they're working about two sisters that softens Sam further, along with the obvious enjoyment he gets out of working with his brother. So when Dean goes out to his car at the end of the episode:

DEAN: Hey. SAM: Hey. DEAN: That's your stuff. SAM: Yeah. Yeah. I figured we'd take one car. DEAN: Works for me. You still want to break my face? SAM smiles. SAM: No. Uh, not at this moment.

Sam's actually satisfied enough with Dean communicating, even if it happens within an argument where they have a moral disagreement! In fact, Sam is able to see exactly where Dean is coming from morally and meet him in a middle ground where they at least agree that it isn't actually as black and white as Sam wanted it to be.

SAM: Look, you know what? Um... You were right. About Amy. If she was... just any monster, I'm not sure I could have let her walk away. I don't know. I mean, I'll never know. DEAN: So, what are you saying? SAM: What I'm saying is... I get why you did it. You were just trying to make sure no one else got hurt.

The thing that's still eating at Sam, is that Dean hasn't been fully honest with him yet about what exactly is going on with him. Sam has observed Dean's terrible mental state the last several weeks with increasing concern, and he's already focused in on this idea of "If it feels wrong, it probably is wrong".

SAM: But here's the thing. You can't just look me in the face and tell me you're fine. I mean, you're not sleeping, you drink for the record— DEAN: Oh, here we go. SAM: Look, whatever. Last one to preach, I know. But... Just be honest with me. How are those the actions of someone who knows they did the right thing?

If Dean's mental state is a result of guilt over what he did to Amy, that means he isn't being honest with Sam or himself about where he went wrong. If Dean only feels guilty about lying to Sam, that's fair enough—Sam gets his moral point of view as far as Amy. But if Dean actually thinks killing her was wrong, he needs to own up to it. The other possibility is that something else is eating at Dean that he hasn't fully communicated, and Sam wants to know what that is. They do dangerous work, and Sam needs to know what Dean's mental state actually is just as much as Dean needs Sam to be open about his own.

DEAN: You want me to be honest? SAM: Yeah. DEAN: I went with my gut. And that felt right. I didn't trust her, Sam. Of course, ever since Cas, I'm having a hard time trusting anybody. And as far as how I been acting... I don't know. Maybe it's 'cause I don't like lying to you. You know, it doesn't feel right. So, yeah, you got me there. I been climbing the walls.

Dean's further communication here does two things for Sam: 1) It's going to really relieve the part of Sam that's upset about the idea that Dean just didn't trust him, because Dean says lying to Sam felt so wrong that twisted him up in knots for weeks. That's far off from Sam's concerns of having an older brother who simply doesn't believe he can do the job or make the right decisions. Dean's guilt is felt so deeply because he sees Sam as a trusted partner deserving of his honesty, and believed it was wrong and unfair to lie to him. 2) Dean further communicates why he is struggling emotionally which leaves Sam feeling like he's in a better position to understand him and support him. It also communicates further trust and cultivates a mutually supportive relationship where Sam doesn't just feel like the crazy guy Dean is going to have a heart attack thinking about supporting, but feels like he can support Dean too.

And then right after that they're both joking around. Crazy what communication over your brother murdering your murderous ex who kills drug addicts and feeds their brains to her child can do.

[roosterforme]

Adult Education Part 7 | Hangman x OC

Summary: Jessica can't get enough of the comfort she feels around Jake, and he can't help but press her to define what they are doing. Everything feels heated and still sweet when they hang out for the day, and when she brings up the alumni event, he's immediately onboard.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing, eventually 18+

Length: 3700 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC

This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist

Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32

Jessica couldn't remember the last time she felt this comfortable and confident around someone else. She had grown into the understanding that her own company was the best company for her, and especially for the past year, she had kept contact with most people to a minimum. Keeping them at a professional arm's length as much as possible. But when she was with Jake, she didn't feel like she needed to be quiet and keep her head down to survive. 

"I got pretty much every kind of snack for today," he told her as they stood in his kitchen. "Just because I don't know all of your favorites yet."

Yet. That was the second time he'd made her heart flutter like this. He also told her he was getting attached to her. And now his cheeks were a little pink as she picked up some chips and salsa.

"I told you I'm not picky as long as you have Sam Adams for me."

"I'll make sure I always have it," he promised as he took two bottles out of the refrigerator and followed her to the living room. "You relax and shout to me if anyone scores, okay?"

"Where are you going?" she asked from her spot on the couch as he set the beers down and left again. She noticed the stack of journals she'd given him were sitting near the corner of the coffee table. 

"Just going to add everything to the crockpot so we can have dinner later."

Jessica settled back into the cushions and watched him walk away, his shirt hugging his broad shoulders. He was perhaps even more handsome than Brian Conley, which was something she would have never thought possible. When she and Brian were sleeping together, she thought he was the most attractive man she'd ever seen. Ten years older. Gray hair mixed in with chestnut brown. Icy blue eyes. But now she was coming around to the idea of someone her own age, with lighter hair and pretty green eyes. 

When Jake returned a minute later and settled down right next to her, even though there was plenty of room, she asked, "How old are you?"

He took the jar of salsa from her hand and opened it as he said, "Thirty. I'd ask you how old you are, but my mom would be really disappointed if she ever learned that I did. So if you'd like to tell me, that's fine, but I'm not asking."

Jessica laughed as she opened the bag of chips and curled her legs up onto the couch so her thigh was resting on his. "How would your mom ever find out anyway?"

Jake scoffed as he scooped salsa onto a chip. "You don't think she's going to want to meet my girlfriend?" He shoved the whole thing into his mouth before grabbing more. "She'd get the information out of you somehow, I'm sure."

She sat there quietly and broke a chip in half before nibbling on it as she tried not to smile. She hadn't been in a relationship since right after grad school. Most guys didn't seem inclined to want to do more than sleep with her. Her brand of nerdy was a hard sell. She was smarter than almost everyone else, she was introverted, and she preferred playing Dungeons & Dragons or reading a book to going out. Well, excluding an evening at Chippy's. 

"I'm thirty one," she said softly with a grin. 

"Perfect," he replied, casually scooping more salsa onto a chip. "I also wouldn't be upset if you told me if you bought that green underwear you were looking at on your phone."

She started nibbling on the other half of the chip as Jake's arm rubbed hers. "Maybe." He was looking at her out of the corner of his eye before turning away from the football game completely to face her. "Okay... yes, I bought the set," she said, biting her lip. "You're missing the game."

"I don't really care about the game all that much. Like I said before, I think I've gotta be the world's worst Longhorns fan."

"You're terrible," she confirmed as he held out the jar of salsa for her. 

His gaze dipped down to her lips. "Why are you so far away?" he asked softly. 

She wanted to laugh, because she was practically sitting on his lap. Instead she leaned in and kissed his cheek as she said, "What was I thinking?" Jake's body was big and warm and cozy as he draped his arm around her shoulders. She snuggled in close to him with her cheek resting on his chest. She dipped a chip into the jar he was holding and teased him with it before she shoved it into his mouth. 

"Thanks, Baby," he murmured as he chewed it up. Then she took the jar and the chips and set them on the table and grabbed the beers instead. They sat cuddled up, sipping the drinks, and Jake was actually less annoying when the Longhorns scored than she had anticipated. She just relaxed into him as the condensation from her bottle dripped occasionally onto his jeans, but he didn't complain, so she didn't move. 

"You want another one now?" he asked, taking her empty bottle in the same hand as his and kissing her hair. 

"No," she whispered. "And don't get up. I'm comfortable."

"Okay," he replied softly, leaning forward just enough to let the bottles drop with a thud onto the area rug. 

Jessica pushed him back with her palm on his abs, and she bit her lip as she felt his muscles. "I said don't move."

"You're in charge, Reedy."

--------------------------

This was all wildly thrilling for Jake. He was with a beautiful woman who wanted to chill on his couch and run her hand back and forth across his abs while they watched football together. He never did this kind of thing. Ever. This was indulgent in a way he didn't usually operate. 

When Jessica looked up at him through her eyelashes, he reached over and adjusted her glasses. Then he felt her hand dip inside his shirt and come to rest just above his jeans, fingers stroking almost to the point of tickling. And he wasn't even watching the game. Maybe it was halftime. He wasn't sure. It didn't matter. 

Why did he suddenly want a girlfriend so badly that he kept thinking about it? He was thinking about how this could be a normal weekend for him. And how he could have Jessica curled up with him like this in bed. 

He was staring. He knew he was. But so was she. And her small hand was moving across his skin in the most addicting way. "Reedy," he whispered, and that was all it took. She planted her hand with her fingertips inside his jeans, and Jake groaned as she kissed him. When her hand slid up his abs to his chest and pulled his shirt up with it, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her until she was in his lap. 

In the deepest recesses of his brain, Jake knew he couldn't let anything too wild happen today. Just kissing. Just like this. But when he let his hand trail down to Jessica's round ass, he realized the fabric of her leggings was thin and that he could feel her thong through it. It felt lacy. He wanted to know what it looked like. 

He palmed her a little rougher, until she broke the kiss and rubbed herself against him. "Oh, Jessica," he groaned, taking in the sight of her wide eyes and crooked glasses. She was raking her fingers slowly through his chest hair while Jake squeezed her butt. He couldn't think straight as her lips met his again, and then his hand was up the back of her shirt.

Her skin was so damn soft, and Jake was not going to be able to conceal the fact that he was getting hard for her when her knee kept nudging him through his jeans. Her feather soft kisses were becoming more demanding as she brought her other hand up to ruin his tidy hair. And fuck if he could control himself. 

In an instant, she was on her back along the couch with Jake on top of her. She let out a surprised giggle as her head came to rest on the cushion. "This okay?" he asked, kissing along her jaw. 

Jessica responded by spreading her thighs so he could settle against her, and Jake had to keep reminding himself that this was a marathon, not a sprint. But her body was warm and inviting, and she was so responsive to his touch. Every gasp from her lips had him pushing his hands a little further up her sides and sucking a little harder on her neck. 

"Jake," she moaned, rolling her hips up against him. 

"Fuck," he gasped, one hand sliding between her back and the couch as he pushed himself against her this time. Her lips were parted, and she was digging her fingers into his shoulders. Jake moaned when she wrapped one leg around his hip. Her shirt was pushed up almost to her tits, and he wanted to taste all of her skin. But she pulled him close for another kiss, and Jake knew he had to pump the brakes. 

He slowed it all down, easing his hand up to her back instead of her perfect ass. He let each kiss taper off until his lips were barely brushing hers. And then he felt her leg slide down from his hip as she took his hand and guided it further up her shirt until he was touching her bra. She chased his lips as he pulled away from her, and now she looked embarrassed.

"Jessica. Not a horny quickie on the couch. Not for our first time together."

"Okay. Right," she whispered, her fingers tracing along his neck. "Do you want to go to your bedroom?"

He kissed her cheek and said, "I think we should save it for another day."

As he slowly let his hand trail down her tummy, she turned her face toward the TV and laughed a little awkwardly. "Is it that obvious that it's been a long time for me? I'm sure that's not the case for you."

He didn't quite know what to say. "No, it's not obvious. And no, you're not wrong," he murmured, his brow creasing as he leaned closer for a soft kiss. Had it really just been two weeks ago that he brought someone home from the bar? "But it has actually been a very long time since someone mattered like you do. So the pacing is kind of important to me."

"You're sweet." A pretty smile touched her lips, and then he let himself kiss her belly before pulling her up so she was sitting and looking at him. Her hair was a little messy, and her glasses were crooked again, and Jake was suddenly afraid he was going to fuck this all up. She adjusted her glasses with the backs of her fingers and leaned in to kiss him one time. 

It really was halftime now, and Jake watched her stand and look through the stack of journals on the table. Her voice was still soft and breathless as she glanced at him and asked, "Where's the one with my phone number? I wanted to show you something in the article I wrote."

Jake wanted to laugh or maybe cry. This woman thought he was smart. Well, he knew he was smart, but nobody else ever seemed to care if he was. "It's in my bedroom."

"It's in your bedroom?"

"Yeah," he replied easily. "I'm keeping that one for sure. You can have the rest of the journals back, but not that one. I worked hard for that phone number."

She giggled. "You really did. And you did great. Can I get it out of your room?"

He thought he was going to respond by telling her yes, but instead he suddenly asked, "Are you seeing anyone else?"

Now her expression was surprised as she came to stand between his spread legs, and he looked up at her. "Are you asking me if I'm meeting other men at Chippy's and during my office hours?"

Jake nodded and swallowed hard as she bent at the waist and let her hands rest on his knees. "Yeah. I'm sure Chippy would be delighted to see you with someone else."

"No," she laughed. "I'm not seeing anyone else. Are you?"

"Absolutely not."

"Good." Her hands slid up to his thighs as she kissed him, which was doing nothing to help him get rid of the awkward half erection he was sporting. "Is it cool if I grab the journal from your room?"

"Yeah," he grunted. "You'll see it in there."

When he watched her walk away, he groaned and sprawled out on the couch. He needed to pull himself together, or she would definitely be taking someone else to Chippy's soon.

-----------------------------

To Jessica's immediate delight, she found the journal on Jake's nightstand. It was even folded open to the page with her article and phone number. She picked it up and headed back to the couch where he was sprawled out now with his head propped up on the pillow. Hot, needy sex had sounded delicious twenty minutes ago when he was grinding against her, but when she looked at him right now, she knew that's not what she needed. She'd had plenty of that in Brian's office and the backseat of his SUV. 

She didn't want to think about him. Not when Jake was reaching for her hand and pulling her down on top of him like she weighed nothing. He didn't even grunt or groan as she settled chest to chest with him. Her legs were tangled with his as he wrapped his arms around her, and she tried to keep the journal from getting smashed. 

"What do you want to talk about? I think I have the whole thing memorized," he said softly, keeping his attention on her even though the second half of the game was on. 

"I wanted to show you how I wrote about your Super Hornets," she said, unable to stop smiling now. 

"Yeah, I saw that. You know more about the damn things than I do, Dr. Reed."

She laughed. "I'm Dr. Reed again?"

"Jessica," he whispered in that drawl that made her heart clench as he rubbed her back. "You ever been up in one before? You wanna fly with me one day?"

She let the journal slide to the floor as she gaped at him. "Would I be allowed? I've always wanted to!"

He shrugged. "I can investigate it. Or I could always sneak you out onto the tarmac after dark so you can sit in the cockpit."

"That sounds scandalous."

"It would be," he confirmed with a smirk. "You could sit on my lap. I could show my throttle. Teach you how to use it."

Jessica felt warm as she kissed him, his hands heavy on her lower back. But it was sweet and intentional instead of rushed even though she was straddling his abs. She was always at least slightly turned on when she was around Jake, and she was starting to suspect he felt the same way. But his restraint was sexy. 

"I like this," she whispered between soft kisses as she ran the tip of her nose up along his. 

"Me too, Baby," he replied, and when she bit her lip and pulled away a few inches to smile, he looked like he was in awe. 

"What?" she asked. 

He shook his head. "I just can't believe you're into me."

She rolled her eyes. "You're handsome. Everyone is into you."

"That's not what I meant," he said with a laugh. "And you're obviously better than everyone else."

Jessica had to reel in her ridiculous grin as she threaded her fingers through his soft hair. "Hey, can I ask you something? And feel free to say no, because it's probably going to be really, very dumb, and I won't be upset if you don't want to go-"

"Yes."

She stared at him for a beat. "I didn't even ask it yet."

"I know. Whatever it is, I'm in."

Once again, he was making her feel warm inside. And he still hadn't looked at the game. "So you'll be my date for a posh fraternity fundraiser for alumni weekend?"

He pushed her hair back behind her ear and said, "I don't think posh and fraternity belong in the same sentence together, but yes. I'd love to be your date. Since we're exclusive now."

"Oh, that was smoothe Lieutenant." She found herself tracing the lettering on his shirt as her cheek came to rest on his shoulder.

"I thought so, too," he whispered. Then she dozed off on him. 

-------------------------

Jake held Jessica while she slept, her breaths soft on his neck while he watched the end of the game. He should really get up and stir the chili, but he didn't want to disturb her. If dinner wasn't edible, he would just order a pizza instead. No big deal. 

She finally seemed fully comfortable with him. She was letting him hold her while she napped, and she wasn't shying away from the idea of them dating. He knew there was more to the picture with the way she made him work for it and the rumors Bradshaw's wife told him about. But she was so fucking sweet, Jake didn't care about what anyone else said. And it honestly turned him on when she made him earn his privileges with her. 

She moaned softly in her sleep and wrapped her arm around him. He was going to have to ask Bradshaw or his wife what to wear to a frat party. That's somewhere he never thought he'd be caught dead, but he found himself wanting to make Jessica happy. So exceptions could be made. 

Suddenly she popped up with both palms planted on his chest. "I can't believe I fell asleep," she mumbled, and Jake smiled at the mark on her face from where her glasses had been pressing. 

"You want dinner?" he asked as she sat up straddling his hips. Her shirt had slipped a bit, and he could see the strap of her bra. And honestly, this position was enough to get him going, the way her breasts were clearly pressed together inside her A&M tee. When she nodded, he scooped her up as he sat and then stood. 

She slid down his body with a little giggle, and soon they were both sitting on the stools at his kitchen island. He watched her dip a tortilla chip into her bowl of chili and take a bite. "This is so good," she gushed. "I don't know how to cook anything. You just put stuff in a crock pot? And it just cooks it into a meal?"

"Yep," he replied, trying not to laugh at the look on her face. Now he was thinking about buying her a crock pot. What the fuck was wrong with him? She took another bite and closed her eyes like it was the most pleasurable thing she'd ever tasted. "Baby, has nobody ever cooked for you before?"

"No," she moaned. "Unless you include my mom, and I only get to eat that for holidays. If I can manage to get back to Massachusetts."

He stroked her cheek with his fingers and said, "You want me to bring you dinner again this week? When you have office hours?"

She moaned again and climbed onto his lap to finish eating. Which turned into her straddling him again while he ran his hands all over her perfect ass again. And once again he could hardly believe he pumped the brakes so hard earlier, because eventually her lips were on his neck and her glasses were pressing into his jaw. 

"If you come by on Tuesday, I'll wear something cute to work," she informed him, and his head tipped back. 

"You always look cute."

"Then I'll wear something sexy."

Jake grunted. "Baby, you always look sexy." A few more brushes of her lips, and he found himself asking, "Do you want to spend the night?"

"Oh," she gasped, but she kissed his Adam's apple before pulling her lips away from him.

"We could cuddle. Make out," he clarified, meeting her eyes as she adjusted her glasses. "I could make you breakfast."

She bit her lip and then said, "See, this isn't fair. Now you know that the secret way to get me to do anything is with food. And I don't know what your secret is yet."

"Apparently it's girls with glasses."

Now she was laughing as she planted her hands on his shoulders. "I have a lot of work to do tomorrow at home. I need to start making up midterm exam questions."

"I could help you," he murmured, only half joking. "I solved your problem correctly the day we met, remember?"

"Jake, I will remember for the rest of my life how earnest you were the day we met."

He smiled, and he found his heart swelling with pride. "So you'll stay?"

"Next time," she whispered. "Next time I'll stay. And we can do more than cuddle and make out."

Jake pulled her a little closer with his hands still on her butt. "Yeah. Let's do that."

Eventually he packed up a container with the extra chili and linked his fingers with hers. He walked her to her car and kissed her until they were out of breath, and then he let her leave. But he missed her warmth and her hands on him. He ended up rereading her journal articles and looking up a recipe to make for Tuesday while he imagined just how sexy her outfit might be.

-------------------------

They are exclusive. She ordered the green set. She's dressing sexy on Tuesday. I'm ready. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 8

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[jellxzy]

sorry. || santana lopez and sam evans?

you and santana were…friends, well secret friends, who sometimes makes out and sometimes scissor. it’s complicated, santana tells you it’s nothing, and you tell her ‘ok’ simply agreeing with her instead of arguing.

she had boyfriend, well still has, and it’s puck, she tells you, that she’s gonna break up with him, but it’s always, later, or ‘why do you even care?’ you shrugged it off, knowing deep inside that you cared a little, and plus it was deep inside you, like her fin-

but moving on, you hated the fact that you were just her little side piece, god you felt like a mistress, you hated how she treated you like a shit, she was degrading you every minute, not that you didn’t like it, but still.

her words felt like a stab in your heart, when you weren’t having sex, but still, she called you all the things there was in the book of ‘lopez insults’

—that’s her notebook that filled all the insults she said to people, and to who. you were a big topic on that book, being the number one she bullies, at least you were number one to her.

and what upseted you the most is whenever a guy takes interest in you, possibly asking you out, and she would drive them away, telling them lies about you, causing them to not text you back anymore.

and what was worse, was that she didn’t care, she didn't care one bit, she didn't care she was hurting you, she didn't care that you were crying in front of her. instead she's kicking you out, even if it was your own room.

she hurt you, a lot, too many to count, to hurt to count, so you stopped, replying to her texts, eventually started to ignore her, as if she would ever talk to you in school. but still you ignored her, whenever you see her in the hallways to whenever you see her enter a bathroom, when you really need to pee. just ignoring her whole entire existance.

until, a boy, with beach blond hair, big lips, tall, muscular, came into your world. you were in charge of showing him around the school, you guys talked, which led to laughing, which led to him slowly and softly flirting with you, not giving out the image if a creep who just wants to get into a girl's pants.

in fact, he was excited to get to know you, your ups and downs, your wrongs ,your rights, everything about your life just seemed interesting to him. and it was surprising, since he was the star quarter back, he had blonde hair, he was the perfect type, a stereotypical ken, while you, you were a Raquelle.

when he came to you, asking for advice on how to ask a girl out, you thought he was gonna ask out Quinn Fabray, i mean who wouldn't, she was your stereotypical Barbie, plus the pregnant part. even though you were hurt on the inside, as you thought that, but you were used to getting hurt, so you shrugged it off.

"well first, courting, every woman wants that. take her on dates, wait patiently for a yes, but to ask her that, you have to give her presents, first." you tell the boy, as an idea sparked in his mind. "give her chocolates, or flowers. but for me, i personally, i don't get the use of flowers, i mean they're boring, and well chocolates are the best."

then that sparked turned into an even bigger one. "and honestly, just be yourself. girls will like that." you smile at him, one last time, before you walk off to your next class.

he was super sweet to you, he was a natural gentleman. he would hold your heavy bags, filled with textbooks, and some other stuff. he would wait for you in the entrance of the school. helping you carry your books to your next class, no matter how far his classroom was from yours. protecting you from the jocks, and slushees. there was even one time when he stood in front of you taking the slushee, since you wore a white shirt.

he helped you a lot, but not to much to leave you feeling like a helpless girl who needs help every second. he, again, was sweet to you, he was to good to be true. so Santana walked up to him. "hey there, sammy evans." she said, with a evil smirk upon her face.

"uh, hey." the blond boy said awkwardly. "haven't you heard?" she asks him. "that girl right there, has got a little problem" she adds, gesturing to an alcohol addiction.

"huh." the boy asked. "yeah, it's true, she was caught buying vodka in a liquor store." she nods, trying to make him believe. "yeah, so you should stay away from her, she'll just hurt you." and with that, the latina walked away, leaving the blond to be confused.

he believed her, a little. a big part of him knows that it was probably a lie. but, you kept secrets about you hidden very well, you knew how to hide something or not. but whatever it was, he knew he was ready to work through it with you.

so the next day, he came up to you, with a big, goofy grin. he wore a messy blazer over his shirt, and hid chocolates behind his back. "sooo, y/n. i want to make this twenty minutes before your first class, worth it." he paused taking a deep breath. "i want to court you. i've liked you for a really really long time, ever since i've first met, you. i like your eyes, i like your smile, the way you laugh, the way you style, the way your hair smells so good in the morning, the way you're often sleeping in class, but still manages to pass. the way you think you're not the most perfect human being, even though you surely are. even if you're mean to people, even to me. i like you so damn much, not to take this chance and leap into your heart. ew, cringe i know. but i like you, so so much. to the point-well i'm not gonna say it yet, i know how much you hate people saying that so early one. but i really really really, like you. and only you. no one else. just you, in my heart right here." he says, pointing to his heart.

"yes." you breath out, smiling. genuinely smiling, like a big dumb dork. "r-really?" his grins grows so much bigger, obviously happy with my answer.

"of course, who wouldn't you're absolutely fucking perfect." you chuckle, as he hugs you tightly. "i know how much you hate when romcom leads kiss each other the first second they meet each other."

"you know me so much. maybe too much." you joke, "i mean i do know you're secretly working undercover. but it's between us." he whispers, looking around, actually playing around with the joke.

what you didn't know was, santana was actually watching from the far, an unsettling feeling in her stomach. she wanted to shrug it off, but she couldn’t, just seeing you being so happy with someone that wasn’t her, it just does that.

so she made a plan. after all your classes, you’re at your locker putting away your books, fortunately your class ended early, due; to only having a quiz the whole class hour.

but as you were walking to sam’s class, decided to wait for him there, you were suddenly pulled into the janitors closet, by your bag. the lights were close, you felt someone behind your back, while a hand covered your mouth, shutting you off, their other arm wrapped around you tightly, to refrain you from leaving, or fighting back.

you were scared, you didn’t know who this person was, of course you were scared. it lasted about ten minutes, when the arm tightly wrapped around you let you go to open the light. you immediately turned back around, reaching for the door knob, but it was locked.

"ow! my feet!" a voice too familiar said. "what the fuck do you want?" your voice stern. your face cold. "i want you. it's been to long since we're last together." she said, walking closer to you, placing a quick kiss on your neck. "fuck off." you push her away.

"y/n. i'm sorry." you couldn't believe it, santana lopez, the santana lopez said sorry to you. "what?" you mumble. "i treated you like absolute shit. i put away your feelings, and i am so so sorry. i'm willing to do anything to make you forgive me. i camd to my senses and realized that, i'm..i'm in love with you. i'm in love with you y/n. i treated you like shit because i felt like shit being in love with you, i knew you would never reciprocate. so i treated yo that way. but i was really just mad at myself. i'm sorry." she says, genuinely.

"i like you too. liked you. but you just treated me like shit, you made me feel like i was nothing but a waste of air." she looked down on her feet, biting her lip not knowing what to say. "i know you're sorry."

"i really am.”

“i know. but you’re too late.”

“sorry.”

“i know.”

[its-time-to-write]

hi, i love your writing! could i request something where jamie and reader are dating and jamie starts introducing them to the important people in his life, like roy, keeley, the richmond boys, etc. and each time they get introduced to someone new, whenever jamie steps away, they basically get some variation of the 'you better not hurt him' talk, and when jamie finds out he's worried that reader is gunna be offended or upset but they reassure him that it's fine, they think it's cute that everyone's so protective of him and that it's nice to see him have so many people care about him

Sorry this took FOREVER. Here it is!

the way it goes

It has been exactly twenty-one days since Jamie asked you out on a proper date, and you’re of the opinion that life can’t get much better than this. You’ve only met two of his teammates so far, (Isaac because he’s one of Jamie’s good friends and Richard because you ran into him while shopping) and honestly, they aren’t what you expected at all. 

They’re kind and they seem to genuinely like working together.

(It’s a little funny to call football “work.”)

Isaac tells Jamie to bring you next time they all hang out, and reminds him to buy more juice packs than last time so they don’t run out again.

—

Turns out the next “hang out,” is a night at Isaac’s, and the whole team is there with various partners and spouses. There’s a strict sweatpants-only drsesscode, and pretty much everyone is in clearly expensive matching sets. You’re grateful that Jamie shrunk a brand-new deep green set the other week, because you didn’t have time to go out and buy something new/not ratty.

There are tables of board games, a pile of snacks, and even a bar. Jamie drags you over so he can get “proper buzzed,” and requests something incredibly complicated from Beard, who appears to be the only coach present.

“Babe,” Jamie says, “you good here? I’m gonna get some food.”

You nod and watch him weave through groups of people. You lean against the bar and wait for Jamie’s drink.

“So,” says Beard, “you’re Jamie’s girlfriend.

You nod. “Yeah, I am. I’ve known him for ages, though. Since I was in uni. Always thought he was just some prick footballer trying to score, if you know what I mean.”

Beard chuckles. “I get it. He’s a bit of an asshole sometimes.”

You grin. “He’s my asshole.”

Beard slides you Jamie’s drink but before he completely lets it go, he says, “Hey.”

His voice has lost its jocularity, so you look up to meet his (very intense, slightly terrifying) eyes.

“Jamie doesn’t need his heart broken. He may have been a giant prick, but he’s different now. He’s not the kind of guy you can just screw and move on from.”

Your mouth has gone a little dry, so you just nod. Right then. You turn to go find Jamie and hope he won’t mind if you take a sip of his drink. You’re planning on staying sober tonight, so that one sip is going to have to get you through till the end.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone’s told you to be careful with Jamie. The first time was actually Roy’s niece, Phoebe. Jamie was babysitting and he asked you to come along, so while he was paying for ice creams Phoebe tugged your arm so you’d get down to her level and said, “If you make him cry, they’ll never find you again.”

You had looked at her in shock while she matter-of-factly stated, “My Uncle Roy’s been teaching me things.”

She said the word things far too ominously for an eight year old, but then Jamie came back and she was all smiles again. 

You got a similar, equally threatening talk from Phoebe’s mum, and then from Roy, and then Roy’s girlfriend Keeley.

Variations of the “break him and I’ll break you” talk had begun to trickle in whenever you’d pick up Jamie from Nelson Road. The tone ranged from Sam’s vaguely threatening, “We all love Jamie very much. We’re incredibly protective of him,” to Jan Maas’s blunt, “If you break his heart, you will never find another date on this entire continent.

Even Ted had a comment, which was more along the lines of, Jamie’s a big softie, he doesn’t need some to play him right now, he needs a real supporter. Each time, you assured them that you weren’t going to hurt him. You didn’t ask why they thought you would be the one doing the hurting when he was the one with the reputation.

Because you are fully aware of his reputation. You hadn’t seen Lust Conquers All, but you’d seen enough clips to piece together exactly how it went. And you’d seen the details of his cheating scandals all over the papers. And dealt with him firsthand while in uni. So yeah, Jamie’s past prick-ish behavior is not a mystery to you.

You find it endearing that so many people love him enough to protect him. It’s a good sign, you think.

You find Jamie carefully stacking various snacks on a tiny, tiny plate. His face lights up when you come into view.

“Oh good,” he says. “Extra hands.” He grabs his drink with one hand and gives you the plate with the other. He starts piling on something flaky and slightly green. 

“Isaac’s girlfriend makes these fucking pistachio things, and they always go way too fast. Gotta eat them while you can,” he says while creating an engineering marvel.

“Glad you like ‘em, bruv,” comes Isaac’s voice from behind you. You jump a little, and the plate wobbles. 

You turn to see Isaac with an absolutely gorgeous woman on his arm.

“I’m Stella,” she says. “It’s wonderful to meet you. We’ll have to have you two over for a real dinner.”

Jamie and Isaac quickly become engrossed in a serious discussion about football tactics, with Jamie downing his drink and then taking the plate of food from you. He was right, those pistachio things are amazing.

You chat with Stella for a little bit and learn she’s the face of a modeling agency and met Isaac during some football/branding thing.

“He was the only one during the entire shoot who made sure I was drinking enough water,” she laughs. “Who knew the way to my heart was through proper hydration?”

You talk a little longer before Jamie’s arm is snaking around your waist to whisk you off to see Dani. It goes like that for a little while until you finally settle down at one of the game tables. It’s a card game involving a lot of yelling and pointing fingers.

The house is noisy and cozy, filled to the brim with people who are just comfortable around each other, and you think you’ve never experienced something like this in your whole life.

Jamie on the other hand, is yawning a little bit. His hand, which had been on your knee tracing squiggly patterns, is starting to slow down so you put yours on top of his and whisper, “You about ready to go?”

Jamie nods and presses a kiss to the side of your head.

“Got fucking extra training tomorrow,” he quietly laments.

You get up to leave and Jamie follows suit with a very loud pronouncement that he’d rather be somewhere private, much to the amusement of the Greyhounds who begin to hoot and whistle. You roll your eyes and smack his butt on the way out.

Forty-five minutes later, Isaac’s phone dings with a photo of Jamie in a pink robe and green face mask, hair pulled back in an equally pink and fluffy headband. He’s lying on your bed and he can see the tv screen playing Notting Hill. You’ve typed, Someplace private, my ass, and Isaac just shakes his head and grins. Fucking Jamie. Prick on the outside, softie on the inside.

You better not break his heart, he writes.

HAH comes your reply a moment later. Not a chance.

“Babe, look,” you say handing Jamie your phone. “I’ve collected the whole set.”

Jamie reads your text thread then looks up at you in confusion. “What d’you mean?”

“Isaac is the only one who hasn’t like, threatened me or something if I hurt you,” you reply.

The tips of Jamie’s ears turn red. “What do you mean, the only one?” he asks. “Like, the team?”

You shake your head. “Oh no. I mean, yes, the whole team, but like pretty much everyone who works at Nelson Road.” 

Jamie’s eyes widen as you begin to list people on your fingers. “Alright, so obviously the Greyhounds, plus all the coaches, Keeley, Rebecca, Higgins, Trent, Samantha at the front desk, Gary, Phoebe and her mum, Will-” you pause. “Should I keep going?”

Jamie groans. “Fucking hell. I’m sorry. They’re all twats, except Phoebe. I swear, they’re not always like that. I’ll talk to them and make ‘em leave you alone.”

“No! You can’t let them know that you know! And…” you hesitate, “I thought it was kind of sweet. Like a green flag, you know? They all like you enough to make sure that you’ll be ok, and they want me to know I have something special. Of course, I already knew that,” you continue, “but it’s nice confirmation.” 

Oh. That’s new.

Jamie’s quiet for way too long so you look over at him. “Babe, are you crying?”

“No,” he says, choked up. “Face mask got in my fuckin’ eye.”

“It’s dried solid, babe.”

“Fine,” he says, “I might be a little. But you can’t tell anyone, especially not Ted, because then he’ll talk to me about feelings and shit, and I’d rather eat ten fucking scones than that.”

You laugh and snuggle into his side. There aren’t going to be any heartbreaks here, not if you can help it. You’re both planning on keeping the other around for the rest of your lives.

[marishmallows]

I think the CK writers were more focused on the action and shock value this season rather than the writing because a lot of it doesn’t make sense or really holds up that much? Like there’s still so many questions left unanswered and I know the final part is coming out next month but I feel like it won’t really answer them that much. Especially not with five 30 minute episodes. I feel like a lot of the depth just went away? Like with Robby, Sam, Miguel, Hawk, Demitri, and even Tory to some extent.

A lot of the character development and previous plots really goes down the drain this season. Since they have already been addressed in previous seasons AND SOLVED. It’s like they keep writing the characters to repeat a lot of mistakes and conflicts they already did.

I know Robby has been off balanced because of what happened with Tory but besides that, all he’s done this season is lose constantly and be bad-mouthed by so many characters. His relationships are just gone completely, no interactions with Kenny. No heart to hearts with Miguel or Johnny or even Daniel at all. He’s just completely on his own for the entirety of part 2.

With Johnny and Daniel, the arguing and fighting. They already know it throws their students off balance and creates an air of tension between them. Yet they do it anyway even though in late season 4 and season 5, they came to an understanding yet they reduce back to their fighting anyways?

With Sam, she is one of the most skilled and balanced fighters with Robby and Miguel. In season 4 and 5, she finally started listening to her own instincts and make her own decisions in both her personal life and karate. Yet now she needs Johnny and Daniel again to help her with discovering what fighting styles to use? She also with Robby, doesn’t do anything this season but serves as a catalyst for other people’s stories which sucks because they’re both supposed to be the captains but we never see them actually be captains. Like what happened to the Sam who took charge in season 3 when Miyagi-Do’s were being bullied? Surely if Miyagi-Do’s were losing in tournaments (some divisions that she was definitely qualified in) I feel that she would step up just like she did in previous seasons.

Miguel is fine for the most part but I do wish he had a better understanding for Robby’s emotions, like I know he was upset about Stanford. But I wish instead of him having that convo with Johnny, I wish he had the convo with Robby himself opening up to Miguel about the whole thing or just Miguel having a better heart to heart with him.

Overall this season has been good so far but not as great as the other seasons in terms of character writing. I feel that season 6 has been more action focused rather than character focused and wrapping up the character’s stories and setting up their endings.

[dotthings]

The idealization of Mary Winchester's memory is not some imaginary thing. If you look at how Mary is referred to by Dean, by Sam, by John, they cite her like something holy. In broken tones. Her memory is painful and beautiful for them all. Dean only remembered her from when he was four years old, there is no way he didn't idealize her in memory. While he does remember the sad things, and that things weren't perfect between Mary and John, Mary herself is still a cherished idealized memory for Dean.

Resurrecting Mary presents Dean with the whole person of his mom, and something beyond the young girl they meet when they travel to the past. Sure, she was revealed to some extent to Dean as more complicated than his childhood memories in the time travel episodes, but that young Mary still isn't the same as post-Heaven, traumatized Mary, who is reeling from her babies being grown-up men all of a sudden, and from being yanked out of Heaven and dropped back on earth in the future, and she's difficult and she needs to distance herself from them and it's upsetting, for Mary and for her adult children.

There were still lots of things about Mary Dean didn't know.

And it's not actually about the fact that she didn't bake or cook, that's not something that upsets Dean, that's not what the deconstructing of Mary is actually about. Dean doesn't care if she buys the pies instead of baking them and he doesn't mind if she isn't a perfect mom.

What he needed was for his mom to be his mom and not run away from her adult kids and be emotionally distant. To just be present emotionally.

We understand why she can't. After she was yanked out of Heaven and her babies are suddenly big grown-up men and she's plunked into a strange time period in the future where nothing is familiar.

It is very complicated. This doesn't make her a horrible person, but that also doesn't mean she wasn't hurting her adult children, especially Dean. People don't stop being a parent just because their children are adults, and adults don't stop needing the love of a parent just because they're grownups now.

But complex as all that is, the iconization of Mary Winchester is still a real thing in canon and she is more than the sweet, sad girl they met when they time traveled, and she is more than Dean's memories from when he was four years old.

Sam, who had no memory of her at all, has a much easier time dealing with it. He's just grateful to get to know her at all.

While Dean, who knew her when he was a little kid, has a more difficult, complicated journey to deal with. To reconcile his memories and the iconization of Mary by everyone in his family, including himself, with the actual flesh and blood traumatized and brittle person who got yanked out of Heaven and stuck in front of him.

She isn't just a photograph. She isn't just the beautiful dead woman who was the catalyst for John's revenge mission. She is more than an idealized icon.

When somebody loses their mom at the age of four there's no way they could possibly know the full person and get to know their complexities and flaws. The time travel encounters are barely scratching the surface of that deconstructing. It's something that would come only with Dean spending a significant amount of time with Mary, it's something that comes as people get older and they watch their parents getting older, and get to know them as complex people.

I just have always really appreciated what SPN did with that--to take an idealized iconic memory figure like Mary, who died in the pilot episode so many years before the main action of the series even begins--and make her real and even tarnish her. I'm not imagining that theme and that arc, or imagining how idealized she was--including in Dean's own mind--until she came back in S12. And I think it is a compelling arc, it is painful, and it was necessary.

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

Been thinking about Pete, Carol and her death:

First, I think they really needed a season that had more episodes if they were going to do an arc like this because it needs more time and attention to fully work through.

Second, if they always wanted to kill her, there's a few things they should have had on a "what needs to be addressed if you kill the living wife of one of your main ghosts" list.

On said list:

1. Address talking a new ghost through their death and what the ghosts know about ghost living.

2. Have Carol seek Pete out and talk to him about the last 40 years since he died.

3. Have Carol figure out that Sam's weirdness with the scout book and the wedding was due to seeing Pete.

4. Deal with Laura thinking the BnB is likely cursed for her family (I mean seriously BOTH parents died there???)

5. Have Carol realize what her death means for Jerry, Laura and little Pete, have her talk to Pete about how he dealt with knowing his family moved on while he was stuck there.

6. Have a confrontation with Pete and Carol about the cheating - maybe have (and I don't believe this is real but I saw it on HIMYF and I think some people out there might agree even if I don't) a discussion on "good cheating". Have Carol be faithful to Jerry and Pete be upset because "why wasnt I enough for you?"

7. There should be a storm out, so when they come back together to talk it out, Carol and Pete talk about how their marriage was one of their bad decisions. They did love each other once but they got married because she got pregnant with Laura and it was the right thing to do (pure HC for me). This is resolved by them both admitting that divorce wasn't something Pete would have ever followed through on and that at least they both found happiness in different ways. Pete and his Troup and Carol/Jerry.

8. Carol acknowledges that cheating was the biggest regret of her life. She meant her apology a couple of years before and she means it now. Loving Jerry for 40 years meant it was a good thing even if it wasn't fair.

9. Either a) Pete tells her that he needs time and would like some space - which explains why she ends up in the shed or basement - or b) Carol forgives herself for what happened and gets sucked off.

10. If it's A) Pete goes through a bit of self reflection and works out the situation allowing them to become friends again, if it's B) Pete figures out that maybe forgiveness is the answer and works out what he needs to forgive to move on himself. (B takes a whole because hes a Main Character in the series. Perhaps his power leads him to push it off so he can explore.

Related to that, he and Carol can be disappointed that he hadn't figured it out sooner so he could have been there all that time.

Thoughts?

[ashdreams2023]

Hi there! May I please request a Loki x reader oneshot where the reader is on her period and she’s upset and stressed so she accidentally lashes out at Loki then feels really bad but he knew the whole time she’s just upset so he calms her down and takes care of her? (sorry if that random and weird lol). thank you 🫶🏻

Not at all and sorry for the delay

Loki x fem reader

I’m sorry

Everyone was so damn loud, ever since the morning, closing and opening of doors, people talking outside your bedroom, things moving and the curtains couldn’t close tight enough so you could sleep properly.

Then they had the bright idea to go on a sudden trip to France and you couldn’t go because your dumb cramps were too bad you couldn’t leave the bed, let alone travel.

So your mood was not it to say the least.

At around dawn you finally got yourself out of bed in need of a new pad and went into the kitchen, the fridge had some leftovers from when Sam made lunch and some cold waffles from the morning.

You made yourself a warm cup of tea and sat miserably alone at the dining table trying to force some plain rice into your mouth.

After a few minutes of silence the door slid open and comes in Loki strutting on, the same Loki who you hadn’t seen since last fucking night, the same one who left the window slightly open before leaving!

"Bloody hell you’re sweating like you’ve ran a marathon-"

And that sentence right there was the hair that broke the camels head.

"You’re one to talk mr freeze! Mr I wash my hair everyday but it still looks greasy like you’ve jumped into a pool of oil!" You snaped smacking your spoon onto the table and storming off back to your room.

Your head felt too foggy at that moment and the second your head hit the pillow you started balling your eyes out.

Loki followed you shortly after, he stood by the door for a few seconds before walking to you on the bed and pulling you by your arms off the bed and into his arms.

"No! I’m…I’m so mean! I shouldn’t have said that I’m such a bitch oh my god!" You kept crying and groaning in discomfort.

"Shhh…you daft girl stop apologizing, I know you’ve having a hard day" he extended his hand and made small fireworks appear in his palm, your eyes watched the colorful lights for a long minute silently, feeling a tad silly for it to be the reason you calmed down.

Loki pinched your cheek teasingly before kissing your forehead and once again telling you he’s not upset about your outburst and that he heard worse.

"…why didn’t you go with everyone?" You asked having his hand laying on your stomaching like a heating pad.

"And leave you all alone to suffer? I am a prince and I know not to leave a maiden in distress" he smirked down at you.

Your lips parted slightly before you giggled breathlessly and pulled him down for a kiss.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

I know it was kind of covered in your how many children would they have, but I want to know how Sam, Vito and Paulie would handle taking care and raising kids. I think it would be chaotic

A/N: let’s pretend this didn’t come out months later and at 1am.🫣 didn’t add Vito because I already spoke on him being a father.

Warnings: none super fluffy

Requests: open 24/7

Masterlist

Sam

I think Sam would be a rather stoic and emotionally absent dad. I’ve mentioned before that he absolutely loved his kids and would give them the world but he’s just flawed.

He’s terrified of being a bad father and his kids resenting him when he gets older so in turn he just shuts down a little bit.

I don’t think any of the mafia one characters had *great* fathers and so Sam is definitely struggling with navigating through fatherhood. Especially if he has daughters. He doesn’t know how or where to start with taking care of a little girl and he would push that more into the mother. He’d be a standard over protective dad who doubles as the walking atm.

I think with boys he’d have a bit of an easier time. At first when they are little he’s kind of stand-offish. That is an unknown territory for him and he’s never been good with babies or toddlers. He hates the crying, the diapers, the mess and all that. Getting down to their level is slightly uncomfortable for him to do aswell.

I like to think when they get older tho maybe around 7 or 8 he starts to lighten the load for his wife. Probably try to find more time away from the mob so he can actually get to know them. He’d take his kids out shooting, to sports games/races, to get ice cream and most importantly to meet the family.

I can imagine his kids being sneaky menaces. I just know one would sneak under the table during a meeting and bite Tommy’s ankle. Or steal candies from shops nearby while Sam is preoccupied.

I personally see sam as kind of like the older brother of the trio and new recruits of the mob. He’s an old soul and is rather good at teaching things. But—when the it comes down to it he can be a bit goofy and let himself go. I think he’s that way too with his boys. His dating and life advice are a bit….unconventional to say the least lol.

With time he’ll understand that it’s okay to be vulnerable with them and to show them more that he loves them. A few mess ups won’t change the undying love his boys have for him.

Paulie

The fun dad that everyone absolutely wanted growing up.

Paulie isn’t a perfect father by any means and he has a lot of work he needs to do on himself but he truly is a family man at heart. That’s all he’s ever wanted in his entire life and it’s the whole reason he joined the mob is to actually have people around him that “cared”.

Now he finally gets to be and provide everything that he never had growing up. Unlike Sammy, I think Paulie loveeees when his children are babies/toddlers. He loves getting down on the floor with them and playing pretend games. He’ll gladly listen to his baby girl talk about her dollies or his son boast about his trains all day. It brings him so much joy.

He never got to really have a childhood and for him this is finally his time to experience all the wonderful bliss of being a child.

He’s actually really great at calming the children down for nap time and poopy diapers doesn’t phase this gangster in the slightest. Anything beats working for the don.

Speaking of the mob, he would flip his absolute sh*t if he found out any of his kids tried joining or dating in the mob… he wants them to have a clean and happy life. Paulie has seen far too much death and heinous abuse to ever want that for his own.

As far as being serious and able to have teaching moments, I think this is where Sam has him beat. Paulie sometimes doesn’t want to get into the nitty gritty of things, he wants his babies to stay innocent forever. He doesn’t like having to correct them or be the bad cop ever. His children being upset with him kills him. Paulie just so desperately wants to be the good dad they can brag about to all their friends, he only wants them to have good memories.

Having the kids work at the pizza shop with him is a great way for him to install discipline and good morals into them while they can still have fun together.

Speaking of the pizza shop and chaos, lord help him. They have to clean for hours after each shift because they have frequent food fights😭

[narrynukezankielover]

If you are a Sam or Jared fan don’t read this. The beginning of season 7 (im on ep 8) is extremely hard to watch. I’ve read people saying that when Cas dies Dean gets depressed and suicidal but I wasn’t prepared for how bad it gets. I thought he just went into certain situations before thinking about it or something but the fact he’s drinking way more then he usually does, he had to give himself a pep talk to go home with a girl (clearly he didn’t want to do it he just thought it’s what he does so he had to do it but I’m glad he didn’t since he’s not in a good place) haveing nightmares and not reacting to certain things the way he normally would is bad enough but then telling Bobby that if he is dead he was going to put him and Sam in the car and drive into the water (can’t remember his exact words and considering I bawled when I heard it I’m not going back to find out his exact words) but then when he seen that Bobby was alive he wasn’t even overly happy he just said “oh you’re alive” and then he was just going to let the god guy kill him without even trying to help Sam come up with a way to stop him is just heartbreaking. They try to say it’s a combination of Cas dying, Sam’s hallucinations and killing misses but he has done stuff behind Sams back before so killing her wouldn’t cause that much guilt on him. He has dealt with Sam not haveing a soul which he said just creeped him out and Sam being addicted to demon blood and that didn’t effect him so I don’t think he’d get that depressed over Sam hallucinating the only new thing is Cas being dead. After the end of season 6 it makes a lot of sense for him to act that way now.

I hate that the show makes Dean seem like the asshole self centred one but it’s Sam who’s those things. Dean is always looking out for Sam (and now Cas), protecting Sam and now even though he’s going through so much he’s still worried about Sam and asking him how he’s doing. Sam is watching Dean go through one of the hardest times in his life and yet the only time so far he asks Dean how he is it’s about the friend of his Dean killed. Seriously? He was standing right next to Dean when Cas trench coat washed up and yet Sam never said a thing about the whole thing to Dean. I actually really hate Sam for this.

Now that I know a bit more about season 7 then I originally did (Misha being fired) I now see the scene of Cas trench coat a bit differently and in fact I see a bunch of scenes a bit differently. I now see that first scene as more the actors real feelings. Dean is so upset because Jensen is upset of Misha not going to be around anymore and Sam basically not caring (he literally just stood there and didn’t have any reaction to what happened) because Jared probably wasn’t overly upset about Misha. I’m not saying they’re not friends but they are definitely not as close as Misha and Jensen and he was probably happy that the spotlight would be back on him again instead of Destiel. I think this is also shown in the other eps. I understand Sam is going through his own stuff but if Cas and him were friends I would think he would at least be sad that Cas is dead.