#sam and dean being annoying brothers <3

[demons-i-get]

WAIT BIG BRAINED THOUGHT:

Sam does smth stupid hoping Dean won't find out.

Someone rats Sam out to Dean.

Sam gets in trouble and a lecture from Dean (bc Dean is a parent and he is Sam's parent I will not accept criticism on this matter).

Later, Sam makes a group chat consisting of everyone who could have told on him to Dean and just sends this video:

[amor-ad-nauseam]

Somethin’ Stupid (pt. 2)

Pairing(s): Sam Winchester x reader

Summary :You two are pathetic for each other, so much so that Dean can’t help but take notice. Maybe, just maybe his “playing wingman” will work out alright…

Word count : 3.5k

Tags: Reader and Sam have a crush on each other, fluff, no use of y/n, reader uses she/her pronouns, carheartt!sam, heavy make out, kissing, fade to black, almost smut.

Notes; While this does read as a fade to black i may or may not have gotten a little carried away with myself and wrote part of the smut scene… it’s not included here but if y’all want that lmk!! I am so sorry about how late this is coming out! i’ve been very busy with back to school preparations. Notes and reposts are greatly appreciated

part 1 part 3

“Rise n’ shine, Sammy!” Dean announced, clapping Sam on the shoulder.

Sam flinches awake and like a row of dominos, the guitar that was in his lap is sent tumbling to the floor - creating a harsh cacophony of strings and wood.

The sound causes you to jolt from your slumber. You shoot up in bed in a flurry of confusion. “I’m up! I’m up! Where’s the Rugaru!?” You shout, whipping your head around the room.

“Woah, Good Morning to you too,” Dean chuckles, punctuating the sentence with an obnoxious bite of beef jerky. Sam makes a face. “Want some?” He points the jerky at Sam.

“Hey, Dean.” Sam sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He runs his hands down his face. "I’m good, thanks.”

You visibly relax as the real world comes into focus. “Morning, Boys.” You say as the adrenaline wears off. Sam was still across from you, now flashing an apologetic smile and Dean was well- Dean, but in a cowboy hat. That wasn’t too unusual for him. Dean nodded a hello.

“Eh, more for me,” Dean shrugs with another bite. “Anywho,” He bends down and retrieves the guitar from the floor, now with a newly popped high E string. He hoped the motel wouldn’t charge him extra for that. “When’d you become Springsteen?” He smirks.

Sam was in no mood.

Then, his eyes lit up.

“Hey, Dean, what’s that, uh, mark on your neck?” Sam said, a grin only capable of being mustered by the most annoying of little brothers appearing on his lips.

“What mar- “Dean slid his hand down the length of his neck, stopping about halfway in sudden realization. “Oh- “He clears his throat. Mumbling something about getting banged up pretty badly, he dismisses himself to the med kit in Sam’s bag.

“Oh, and that explains why you’re just now getting back at, uh,” Sam glances to the alarm clock. “7am? from a simple salt-n-burn?”

“Uh, yeah.” Dean scoffs defensively. “Cause you see, Sammy, I was actually doing my job.”

The early morning sun filtered in through the blinds and for the first time you realized that the wood paneling on the divider and both doors were made to look like a saloon door. Damn. They went all out with this whole cowboy theme. On the bright side, the sun gave everything a warm almost fiery glow. Despite the rather cozy atmosphere of the room, Sam and Dean were still going.

Only two things in life are certain: taxes and the Winchester’s arguments.

“The job that requires you to receive hickeys from girls in bars?” Sam laughed. He was now stood by the foot of your bed, stretching the tension from his shoulders. Man, even through a t-shirt his back muscles were attractive- carved like a Greek statue.

“Okay, when you say it like that it makes me sound like a hooker.”

“Maybe you are, Mr. hard worker.”

“Don’t objectify me.” Dean rolls his eyes, feigning offense . Dean was leaned over the dresser, looking in the mirror as he tried to cover a small purple mark on his neck with a square gauze patch.

He definitely wasn’t winning this one.

As if suddenly remembering something, his head perked up and he set his sights on you.

“How’s the leg?” He asked, looking at you in the mirror. He did genuinely care about your wellbeing, but it didn’t hurt that you were also a good out.

“Hm?” You were a little distracted; you’d almost forgotten about your leg entirely.

“Oh right. It’s fine really,” you swing your legs over the edge of the bed.

When you look down you find the bandage that was once around your thigh, half undone, twisted about and just an overall mess.

“Right, fine.” Dean chuckles.

“Woah, you okay?” Sam questions.

Before you know it, Sam’s closing the distance between the two of you and the roll of gauze is sailing through the air from Dean’s palm to Sam’s.

“Damn, I thought you were better at the whole first-aid thing, Sammy.” Dean remarks, happy to flip the situation back on his brother.

“I am,” Sam takes a seat next to you. He’s warm. And close. Too close. “But someone.” Damn he smells good too. Like a brand-new book. “Wouldn’t let me.” He said with a teasing expression.

“Hey, I didn’t do too bad.” Your cheeks flush.

“Riiight.” He gently tugs at an end of the bandage, and it unravels like a loose thread in a pair of jeans. “Not too bad at all.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” You reply, your face contorting to an attempt at annoyance.

“Hey, cheer up.” Sam smiled.

You couldn’t help but smile in return.

He gently slid his hand to the underside of your knee and placed your leg over his lap just as he did the night prior.

While you were busy tossing the wrinkled bandage into a small barrel-shaped trashcan near the sofa-chair, Sam took the opportunity to let his gaze linger. He drank in every detail of your appearance, hoping to seer it to memory.

For some reason, 3 things in particular stuck out to him: You never bothered to put your hair up last night, the way squinted as the sun reflected directly into your eyes, and the fact that you were still in his Carhartt. That last one especially made his heart beat a little harder.

Your lovely chaotic hair and the sun shining on your face inspired countless fantasies. Some as simple as kissing the tiredness from your expression, others, he felt bad for even thinking.

The minute you turn around his eyes are once again glued to your leg and you’re none the wiser.

“How’m I lookin, doc?”

Dean with his shirt tucked beneath his chin was rubbing ointment on what he wasn’t quite sure if it was another hickey on his abdomen or an actual bruise. Upon hearing your question he perks up, ready to make a dumb Looney Toons reference when Sam of all people beats him to the punch.

“Ah, just peachy, Bugs.” He replied in a nasally imitation of Daffy Duck.

“Huh.” Dean mumbles with some small shock. He watches the two of you from the mirror's reflection. He knew Sam had a thing for you, but this, this was something else.

The way the two of you giggled and just almost leaned into each other with every joke- pulling away in shy stupidity each time you got too close. The lingering eye contact, how Sam’s hand looked almost reluctant to leave you, the way one of you would stare when the other wasn’t looking. The whole thing left his stomach feeling like a pot of warm honey.

Damn. You’ve both got it bad.

An idea.

“Hey guys,” He chimed in.

“Hm?” You and Sam said in unison.

“Oh, sorry no you go- “you said.

“No, it’s okay you- “

“Well, you did fix me up it’s only fair- “just then you realized that your leg was still in his lap. You quickly pull away and smile apologetically. Sam does the same.

Dean just about face palms. You two are hopeless.

“Guys.” Dean clears his throat, capturing both of your attentions once more.

“I'm gonna go out and uh, do something.” Dean said with heavy emphasis on “do something.”

“Oh, okay..?” you said with confusion

“Oh, uh, need help with that?” Sam added, eaqually as confused.

“No! no, sorry…heh… I just mean that you both should stay here while I go make a move.”

“You… feelin’ alright, Dean?” You question.

“He’s still hungover I think.” Sam leans in and mutters.

“Y’know,” Dean turns his attention straight to Sam. “Making a move is always the right thing.”

“…So, you do want my help?”

“No, damnit,” Dean sighs in defeat. “M’goin’ on a coffee run.”

“Oh… okay…” Sam replied. “In that case, make two of ‘em decaf.”

“Aw you remembered?” You say with an expression reminiscent of a teen girl with a crush.

“Yeah, I know how it makes you jittery.” Sam replied, sounding embarrassed.

Dean watches as the two of you sit there smiling like idiots.

Yeah.

Extra hopeless.

- -

The latter half of the day is spent with Dean acting strangely and you and Sam struggling to figure out why.

A couple of theories arose.

“Maybe he is hungover.” You quietly conceded after Dean stretched his legs across the diner’s booth seat when Sam tried to sit down- forcing him next to you.

“Nah, he’s mean when hungover.” Sam replied.

- -

“Maybe we did something?” You suggested when Dean pulled the same diner stunt later at the library.

“Like what?” Sam replied as he studied Deans relaxed demeanor.

“Dunno. Maybe it’s 'cause we bailed last night?”

“C’mon we didn’t “bail”, you got stabbed and we all know if one of us didn’t stay with you, you’d come crawling back to finish the fight.”

“Fair enough.” You shrugged. “Well, I’m fresh out of ideas.”

“Me too. Just can’t figure out what would make him not tell us details on a case, it’s not like him.”

- -

You also happened to notice that Sam grew increasingly grumpy as the day dragged on.

Whether that was due to Dean, or his uncomfortable sleeping situation last night was lost on you.

- -

“Maybe he got roofied?” Sam mumbled when it seemed as though Dean couldn’t walk in a straight line- continually bumping into you - shoving you straight into Sam.

“Can’t be, after that whole witch thing he’s really careful with his drinks.”

“Hm…”

- -

“Mid life crisis?” Sam proposes in a hushed voice from the huddled corner of a motel lobby.

Dean had bought two rooms instead of the usual one accompanied by “we’re livin’ offa credit card scams and prayers. Besides, we’ve all pretty much seen eachother’s junk anyway.”

“He’s 30” you replied while watching Dean flirt with the woman behind the counter.

“With this job and his liver, it’s midlife.”

- -

Finally, the night had rolled around.

“Been dazed and confused for so long it can’t be true~”

The radio humming as the Impala raced down the road.

Normally, nights like this would be relaxing. Windows rolled down, the sounds of the cold and buzzing night mixed with the same five albums Dean rotated. Empty back roads and the three of you endearingly out of tune as you sang along.

But this night was simply and plainly, dead.

The air in the car had a tension not even Page and Plant could cut through. You all silently sat in your unassigned-assigned seats: Dean driving, Sam shot gun and you in the back watching the night woosh by.

It all came to a head earlier when Dean notified you and Sam that you two were on stake-out duty. You watched as Sam’s expression visibly changed into one of suppressed nausea. Sure, stakeouts usually sucked ass but did the thought of being alone with you really drive him to the point of sickness?

You breathed a sigh, sinking further into your seat at the memory.

Sam steals a glance at you in the rear view- you looked sad. Guess you weren’t too excited at the thought of a stakeout either.

The car stops about 50 yards in the underbrush in front of a dilapidated old building in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere.

The light previously provided to you by the stars was dimmer now due to the thick miles of pine trees stretching high above- looking as though they could touch the sky themselves.

“Aaand we’re here,” Dean said, switching off the ignition

“Mind telling us where “here” is exactly?” Sam quipped.

“Like I said, it’s a nest.”

“Yeah. That’s the problem. That’s about the only thing you’ve said.”

“Okay, fine- look, We’ve had a lot of duds lately and I didn’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up if it wasn’t the real deal.” Dean shrugs.

Dean was an incredibly good liar. Or as he liked to call it, thinking on his feet.

“Wow you are s- “

“Such a great older brother, I know. I’m gonna go walk the perimeter, shouldn’t take too lo-“

“Great I’ll come with!”

You watch as Sam quickly follows after Dean- not even letting his brother get the words out before he’s on his feet and out of the car like he’ll catch the plague if he’s alone with you.

Yeah. Stakeouts really sucked.

From inside the car all you could hear were Sam and Deans muffled voices, but even still, you could tell they were arguing…

“I’m not an idiot, Dean. I know what you’re doing.”

“Well I’d hope so,” Dean chuckled, holding his newly sharpened machete upward to inspect it. “Dad’d kill us if we ever even thought about going in dull and halfcocked.”

“Y’know you’re not the most subtle guy in the world.”

Sufficiently satisfied, Dean re-sheathes the blade and hooks it onto his waistband. “Dunno wacha talkin’ ‘bout, Sammy.”

“You forced me to sit next to her.”

“Leg got bruised las night, had to keep ‘er elevated.”

“Got two rooms?” Sam quirked a brow.

“So? What if i wanted to bring someone back?”

“Dude, you practically threw her into me.”

“Again, the leg. Can’t walk straight.” He shrugs, grabbing a vial of dead-man’s blood and putting it into his pocket.

“Alright, cut the bullshit. I know what you’re trying to do and it won’t work. She’s not into me and i’m-“

“A dumbass.” Dean says sharply.

“E-excuse me?” Sam says, caught off guard.

“The girl is head-over-fuckin-heels for you. you must be a dumbass not to see it.” Dean points an accusing finger at him.

“I-“

“I see the way you look at her, hell, you busted out the guitar for her! ah- don’t give me that look, it was obvious. “

“Okay, fine, you got me Dean.” Sam throws his arms up in an exasperated manner. “I have feelings for her.” He pauses. This is the first time he’s said it aloud. His eyes go to his shoes. “Doesn’t mean she feels the same way.”

“Christ.” Dean slams the trunk, shoves his hands in his pockets and walks around the side of the car. Sam gives a puzzled expression. Dean jerks his head. “Watch this,” Dean says.

With the back of his hooked middle and index finger, Dean knocks on the back window of the Impala.

“Hm?” You lift your head from the book in your lap.

It’s a quick set of movements, but obvious, unthought action: your eyes first land on the source of the sound, Dean. He waves. You smile.

Then, all in the fraction of a second you look at Sam. Your smile falters. A short, flustered breath escapes your nose.

Your eyes go back to Dean, your lips curving into a poor attempt at a casual smile.

“See?” Dean says once you turn your attention back to your book.

“See what?” Sam replies, his voice growing annoyed and incredulous- having not picked up on anything out of the ordinary.

“You really make me wanna punch you sometimes.”

“Wha-, you know what, Dean, is this case even real? Cause if it’s not let’s just go back to the motel and-“

“Okay, Okay.” Dean pushes his arms in a ‘calm down’ motion. “It’s real, Columbo. Here,” He reaches behind his back, past the sides of his coat and pulls the local newspaper from the waistband of his jeans. “Happy now?”

Sam’s eyes skim the headline: Reports of “Cult like behavior” spotted near the old McCrowe house.

Below is a photograph of the dilapidated home they were parked in front of.

“Yes, but, h-“

“How do you know it’s real? Ya don’t. But i know you couldn’t take the risk; Even if you tried.”

Sam frowns, combing a hand through his hair. Dean smiles. “Go get ‘em, tiger” Dean says, patting his brother on the shoulder.

"You're an asshole."

Dean walks away with an extra bounce in his step. Sam frowns, again.

After taking a long moment, partially to regain his bearings, partially waiting till his brother disappeared around the bend, Sam pulls open the door.

“…Hey.”

“Hey yourself.”

That wasn’t awkward at all.

Leaves crunch beneath your feet, and the book carried at your side rhythmically beats against your hip as you walk.

“So… figure out what’s up with Dean?”

“Oh, uhm,” He tosses the newspaper onto the dash as he slides into the front seat to cover his hesitation. “Nope. Not a clue.”

“Eh, I just hope he sorts himself out. If he keeps walking like that i think i’ll be bruised soon.” You chuckle at your own joke. “Guy’s got hips like Shakira, they do not lie.”

Crickets. Literal crickets fill the beat of silence after that joke.

You knew it was bad but damn.

“Ookay… tough crowd,” You mumble.

“Oh, uh, sorry,” Sam said as if he were snapping out of a trance. “yeah heh, Shakira.”

You simply resign yourself to the book in your lap, every once in a while, taking a glance at the house ahead.

Meanwhile, Sam’s gaze never leaves the house for a moment. He had an expression you couldn’t quite place and an almost glazed over look in his eyes.

“Hey, i’m gonna go catch up with Dean, you’ll be fine right?” He says suddenly.

“No,” You slam your book shut and turn straight to Sam. “Sit your ass back down. we need to talk.”

“I’m sorry?”

The words come barreling from your mouth like a falling knife, sharp and unpredictable. “You have been super weird all day- I swear it’s hereditary- Dean acting strange, that i can deal with, but you? i-i don’t know what to do with that.”

A sinking sort of realization sets in. “I- god i’m so sorry.”

“I mean, did i do something? ‘Cause if i did i’m terribly sorry-“

“No, no, you didn’t do anything i swear.”

“Then what is it? i thought things were good and then- Look, if there’s something wrong just say the word and i’m there.”

“i know that but-“

“I’ll listen if you need it, i’m your friend and i wanna help.”

“That’s the problem.”

A beat of silence.

“That you’re my friend, just, my friend. That’s what’s wrong."

You feel your mouth going dry.

The words come tumbling out of Sam’s mouth much faster than he can think. “I-I knew from the moment i met you that you were this super cool and sweet and pretty but also badass at the same time kinda person and then it sorta spiraled into a crush, -which was innocent enough- so i thought it’d go away but then it didn’t and then-“

Every word, every thought, every action, everything within Sam is cut short and fades off when your lips collide with his. Your hands cup the sides of his face. His eyes widen before slowly dropping shut.

A moment later the kiss breaks and you’re sat there, staring dumbly into those gorgeous hazel eyes. From this new vantage point (the middle of the front seat) the gaps between the pines overhead is greater, allowing for starlight to filter in. The parts of his face not obscured by the shadows of his hair were illuminated in perfect detail. The soft edges of his face look almost sharp given the looming shadows, that detail though, is contrasted by the rosy blush spreading on his cheeks.

“…I wanted to shut you up,” You blink. “But I should’ve asked, i’m sor-“

The last of your attempt to apologize is muffled as Sam’s lips crash into yours.

His hand rests on the far side of your neck, his thumb moving across your cheek. The kiss grows in intensity, his tongue licking at the seam of your lips, your breath short and hot on his face. You drop your hands from his jaw and begin to slide them down his torso, eliciting a low growl-like sound from him. You both grow in fervor, the kiss bordering the fine line between sweet and desperate.

His tongue pushes past your lips and begins exploring you with warm desire. A soft sound escapes your throat at the feeling, his body growing warm, breaths shaky, and his tongue needly licking at the inside of your mouth.

Sam pulls away but only for a moment. He takes a quick survey of your face: lips red, breathing coming out in short pants, hair messy and all of you elucidated by the stars outside. You were no longer a reverie- some fantasy far out of reach. You were right there, lovely and more attention capturing than any star. So he says the thought that’s been on repeat in his mind since the moment he met you. What he’s thought on a thousand breathless afternoons when the sun shines just right on your face: “I love you”

“I love you too.” You reply without missing a single beat. you don’t have to think about it, not even for a second. You love him.

Taglist: @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @lillies444lola @wowzabowza69 comment to be added/ removed

[justjensenanddean]

Jensen Ackles | Purgatory Con, Düsseldorf, Germany, May 26, 2024, Panel Summary

Most creepy or annoying toy the kids ever had? Slime. It creeps him out. He has it all over his house now. He doesn’t like the texture or feel. But his kids love it. Creepiest? Danneel has an old antique doll. It is old cracked, has creepy eyes and is the devil. (x)

Demon Dean or Soldier Boy, who‘s more powerful? Demon Dean because SB has a traumatized little boy in him and demon Dean is just empty. He‘s more dangerous because he just doesn’t care. (x)

Funniest moment from set of The Boys? Someone yells Herogasm so Jensen says it was probably not the funniest moment but when he arrived on day 3 of the set, Jack Quaid asked if he‘s been on set yet and when it was a no, he said „whoo, good luck“ (x)

People kept mistaking the bottles of lube and the bottles of hand sanitizer. Jensen was not prepared for when filming started and everyone took their robes off. Jensen was not prepared. (x)

Jensen couldn’t not look. They called cut. Jensen was like „I‘m sorry, there’s 4 people over here doing a position I have never seen before.“ His shower was extra long that evening. „There may have been tears.“ (x)

“There’s four people over here in a position I have not seen before!!!” “My shower lasted extra long that evening. And there were tears.” Jensen retelling stories from Herogasm set on #TheBoys (x)

How long did it take him to learn the Arabic phrase for s14? Not long, he can parrot things quite easily. He just needs to hear it a few times, then he can repeat the sounds. It‘s how he learns accents. Tap dance worked like it too. If he can see or hear it, he can emulate it. (x)

Jensen: “I don’t think Cas’s confession is something that needs to be resolved. There is nothing to resolve. He said what he needed to say, it was a long time coming, it was heartfelt and beautiful. But there’s nothing to resolve.” (x) “Dean took it in and then lost one of his closest allies and friends. The accepting of that happened when Dean sat on the floor. He lost one of his brothers in arms and one of his closest people. When they come back, it’s just understood.” (x)

Are there situations where he accidentally or on purpose bring out Dean? Yes. Sometimes he thinks „it would be great to be Dean Winchester right now. He could have handled this.“ Dean is alive in him and comes out from time to time. (x)

Were there fake tears on SPN or did he ever cry? He wasn’t classically trained, so the emotion we see is real. He doesn’t know how to fake it. Compares it to a book or movie making you emotional. You know it’s not real, but it still gets you. (x)

After the s4 scene when Dean confesses to Sam about his 40 years and torturing in hell, he had to walk away because his body didn’t know it was fake. The barn scene was probably the most real, but for different reasons. He was saying goodbye to Dean, Jared, the crew. (x)

Crew members had to leave set because they were crying too. They were trying to dial it down, because it was too much emotion. (x)

When things get too serious? Laughter. It‘s his levee. When things get too heavy, he makes a joke to ease the situation. (x)

„Do you use Jared‘s conditioner?“ No he does not. That’s just what his hair does. (x)

Who inspires you? Jensen doesn’t idolize anyone, but he has a lot of respect for certain people and tries to absorb as much as he can when he meets them. Could be a brilliant scientist, an artist, an actor. (x)

Being cold on set? There was a scene with Bobby where they looked at a map over the hood of the car. Jensen told Bob Singer that it was ridiculous because they would look at the map in their car. But Bob wanted a specific job and told him to just get it done. (x) A few days after he got lasic surgery, he was supposed to wear sunglasses all the time. But he had to film in the sun with light shining in his face. Jensen was in so much pain that Serge covered the white surfaces in black. Didn’t help much. He took ibuprofen and powered through (x)

Dead in the Water when he had to hold the kid up and the diver pulled him under, it was the most eery feeling. He was terrified for the kid. But the kid actor had fun. / End of panel. (x)

(JMacLean)

[scoobydoodean]

ok so forewarning, i don’t really have a question here, just lots of thoughts.

there’s so many layers to the general *badness* about the mia vallens therapy scene. like to the manipulation (for lack of a better word) that sam rewrites. like it makes such a difference that she thinks jack is their little brother instead of the son of the thing that killed dean’s best friend/loml. not to mention the fact that it’s been what like a week since *everything*

and like yes dean’s being cold towards jack and giving him orders (which, i could argue they weren’t uncalled-for), but tbh he’s only being moderately colder/more direct with him than he’s been with cas at times on hunts (thinking hunteri heroici) and even similar to how *sam* has been with like claire and even dean himself (thinking that episode dean turned into a teenager and all of MOC). like genuinely, how was sam expecting him to act like?

also (half joking) i genuinely think dean would’ve warmed up to jack even quicker than he did (we can already see it in this same episode, like that look he gives jack when he asks mia if buddy hurt her too) if he heard jack say he hates anakin skywalker lol

ok wait i do have a question. do you think jack actually was “terrified” of dean during that therapy scene?

(post linking to some context)

Okay so I rewatched 13.01-13.04 on a plane this past week so it's all extra fresh on my mind rn. The thing about 13.04 is that Dean wasn't comfortable bringing Jack on the hunt, and Jack didn't want to go, but Sam pushed insistently for all of them to go on the hunt together... primarily because Dean's feelings were thwarting Sam's plans for Jack and his own emotional coping mechanisms in a larger sense.

I think Dean's feelings compared to Sam's here are relatively more simple (and yet somehow still intensely misunderstood to a baffling degree). Dean was grieving. He was grieving Cas who died right in front of him, he was grieving Crowley (he pleads with Chuck to bring "even Crowley" back in 13.01!) and he was grieving Mary.

The thing with Dean's grief over Cas is this: instead of viewing it from Dean's perspective, we tend to analyze it as omniscient viewers who know Cas will come back, refusing see how miraculous Cas’s return truly was. We refuse to see Cas's death was different this time and appeared very permanent. There was no uncertainty like there was in season 7 or 8. His wings burned into the ground and his grace extinguished. Dean pleaded and prayed for Cas and Mary and Crowley's return to the only person who ever brought Cas back from certain death (via explosion in 5.01 and 5.22)—the person who told Dean in 11.23 he was leaving and Dean was on his own. Dean didn't hear back. The ONLY reason Cas comes back in 13.05 is that 1) Jack woke him him up unwittingly using powers no one knew he possessed and 2) Cas then annoyed a creature they didn't even know existed into letting him out of a place they 3) didn't even know existed and 4) Cas somehow came back with a body even though he had been burned to ash. All of this is completely miraculous. It was unforeseeable. It doesn’t even make complete sense as a viewer. In other words, Dean has ZERO reason to hope for Cas's return. There was ZERO reason to refuse to acknowledge that grief… but that's exactly what Sam does. He suggests Dean pray for Chuck to bring Cas back in 13.01. As soon as Sam knew Dean already tried that and Cas was DEAD dead, he treated Cas as something Dean needed to reframe and get over:

SAM: You thinking mom is gone and Cas is gone, and that Jack can’t be saved. Dean, after everything we’ve gone through… We just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. Everything’s upside-down. I get it. But we’ve been down before. I mean, rock bottom. And we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do.

This is the "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" speech in 13.02—like a day after they burned Cas's body. Sam's wording here is cruel too—saying Dean is "thinking" Cas is gone as if he didn't die right in front of him? He refuses to acknowledge Cas's death as something Dean was actively and rightfully mourning. This becomes a major point of contention between the brothers at the end of 13.03.

DEAN: Look, I know you think that you can use [Jack] as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost! SAM: Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack!

Sam will only name Mary—the one person whose death they can’t 100% confirm (the same thing happens in front of Mia in 13.04). The absence of Cas’s name here is pointed. So Dean says:

DEAN: And what about Cas?

And how does Sam respond?

SAM: What about Cas?

Uh... wow. That's what really sets Dean off to full on shouting:

DEAN: [Jack] manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

Sam's denial of what Dean literally SAW (Cas died) and how that hurts—his insistence that Dean also halt grieving to hope for the impossible—it's a major sticking point and very revealing of Sam's own coping mechanisms. Sam's chief response to grief is to disassociate himself from it. We see a textbook case in season 8 (see: 8.08), but in most of the series, what this actually looks like for Sam is to keep moving and hunting (ex: 1.02, 2.02, 2.10, 2.11, 2.18 3.11, 4.09, 9.01) which is also why he insists on bringing Dean and Jack on the hunt in 13.04. Sam tries not to think about what they've lost and focuses on what he CAN do. He focuses on hoping Mary can be saved because she's the one person he didn't SEE die.

The thing about Dean’s grief over Mary is this: he convinces himself Lucifer had to have killed her. She's the one person whose death Dean can't be certain of, but he absolutely cannot bear the thought of hoping she’s alive and it turning out he’s wrong. He knows he wouldn’t psychologically survive hoping in that and his beliefs being crushed. It would be like losing his mom all over again (a THIRD time). So he sticks to what is most likely: Lucifer killed her. He can't contend with the hope Sam is clinging to desperately, and that's what makes them such poor companions in grief. Sam feels off balance when Dean won't keep moving and hoping like him—when Dean can't keep up the pace Sam wants to run at in his own grief—and in doing so, Sam keeps pushing Dean to contend with hopes that open Dean up to a WORLD of pain Sam can psychologically convince himself not to feel. Grieving together just really just doesn't work for them because they're never on the same page and deal in such different ways—and this has been hurting them from as early as 2.02!!!

Now to bring Jack into this more fully: Jack represents Sam and Dean's different perspectives on grief and on Mary. Just like Dean despairs over Mary's demise, Dean despairs over the possibility of Jack being good. He can't bear the idea of hoping in that and being wrong. The psychologically safest option for him is to assume the worst and not hope or believe in anything turning out okay.

Sam, on the other hand, pretty much immediately sees a way to use Jack to get Mary back. This is clear when he and Jack get locked up together in the jail cell in 13.01. After establishing that Jack isn't hearing things and (probably) isn't going to murder him imminently, Sam immediately starts down a line of questioning establishing how well Jack understands his powers, and then asks him outright:

SAM: Jack, look, um... before you were born, you -- you opened up a door to another world. Do you remember that? JACK: Yes. SAM: Okay, um, could you do that again?

Shortly after, when Sam arrives, he tells Dean (who is convinced after everything that happened in 12.23 that 12.19 that Jack is evil or will turn evil):

We need him.

Sam repeats this sentiment multiple times with clear meaning, and later in 13.04, he admits to Jack that he wants to use him to open the portal. This doesn't mean he doesn't also grow to see himself in Jack quickly and genuinely believe in his capacity for good, but he isn't fully honest with Jack about his motives until 13.04 where he finally comes clean, and this poisons the well with Jack a little.

@shallowseeker has pointed out before that in 13.03, while trying to figure out how to get Jack's powers to work (and spying on Jack through cameras from another room) Sam is seen reading "The Drama Of The Gifted Child". I wish I could find the post because Shal probably brought it up too, but when I was rewatching this episode, I noticed the chapter Sam had just settled into read before being interrupted was titled,

"Depression and Grandiosity: Two Related Forms of Denial"

Given the accusations flying from Sam toward Dean then from Dean toward Sam about denial in the following episode (13.04), this feels amusingly pointed. Dean is depressed (and about to attempt suicide in 13.05), Sam is depressed and has "grandiose" ideas of using Jack to pop open a portal to another reality while hiding behind the guise of being the most rational person in the room when he... isn't necessarily? And it's easy to argue "Well, Sam turns out to be right even if he didn't ultimately have much of a reason to think he was" but the core problem here is how his beliefs effect how he treats other people's grief. He isn't honest with Jack about his motives (while Dean is somewhat brutally honest) and pushes and watches even while claiming he's giving Jack space (13.03), he refuses to give Dean space to grieve even the family member they know is dead, he inserts a therapist into the situation and criticizes Dean's grief when Dean won't play his game, and in 13.05, after Dean says that he can't believe in anything right now, Sam's clumsy attempts at help involve plying Dean with alcohol he says he doesn't even want and trying to send him off to strip clubs—believing that Dean performing being okay will somehow address his mental state because Sam's idea of coping himself is simply "going through the motions".

As for Jack, I don't think he's scared of Dean. I think he's scared of what Dean believes. He's scared that Dean is right. From 13.01-13.06, Jack is contending with the question of whether he's destined for evil or good, and in his depressed state, Dean believes Jack is destined for evil because hoping in anything is completely beyond him at that moment. Sam tells Jack that he can be good, but he hides ulterior motives as to why he's being nice, and when those ulterior motives are revealed, it leaves Jack thinking Sam is the kind of person who will lie to Jack and tell him he's good just to get what he wants. Meanwhile, Jack knows Dean is being completely honest with him about what he believes. 13.03 and 13.04 clearly demonstrate that Jack understands the difference between beliefs and facts: Dean could be right or he could be wrong. What Jack holds onto like an anchor is that he can trust Dean to tell him the truth about what he believes—even if it hurts.

It's also just so obvious that Jack immediately wants Dean—specifically—to like him (see: Jack mimicking Dean's mannerisms while eating in 13.02, and his clumsy attempts to earn his favor in 13.04). Sam also picks up on this, and encourages Jack to seek Dean's approval in 13.04 to try and change Dean's beliefs. Sam (and to some extent Jack) are thinking in 13.04, that if Jack can prove to Dean that he can be good, and if Dean tells him he did a good job (which Dean does in the end), Jack can believe that. Sam sees that Jack wants Dean's approval and the impression that Dean's beliefs have had on Jack and thinks by pushing them together as soon as possible (when neither of them want to go on the hunt) and treating them as a family and forcing Dean to accept Jack when Dean just isn't ready (including by paralleling Jack with himself in a way that becomes an accusation), he can "fix" Jack so he isn't scared of his powers anymore (13.03) and then he can teach Jack to use his powers and Jack can open a portal to save their mom.

Jack's attempts to earn Dean's favor in 13.04 are clumsy. His first attempt is directly ignoring Dean telling him to wait in the car and sneaking into the crime scene, potentially contaminating it. At Mia's office, Jack's outburst about losing a mother is what allows Sam to set up the whole family therapy trap to begin with, and because Dean knows Sam is going to use that to hurt him, he warns Jack not to make outbursts like that. Dean is not being nice. Point blank. And I do think his tone is a little different than with Cas which in the past felt more like exasperation. I also don’t think it makes him the devil. I think that's understandable when putting in even a tiny amount of effort and it's kind of laughable to me how few people seem to even try because they're so caught up in Sam's happy family narrative and the idea that someone wanting Dean's approval presents an obligation that Dean give it no matter how emotionally impossible—and in a situation where asking him to lie would actually destroy that much more of Jack's trust.

[hobiespick]

Sam Winchester x reader headcanons part 3

<33

a/n: heyyyyyy I had so much fun writting these. I am literally shaking as we speak cuz i'm still kinda shy abt this even tho yall showed me sm love and gave so much positive feedback on the first 2 parts I was giggling, blushing, and twirling my invisible phone cord. Thank you all so much for everything and enjoy my shitty thoughts 🫶💞 + tagging a lovely person who gave me the idea of writting one of these @yinorathedragontamer

Summary/Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, Sam Winchester x gn!reader , Sam being the biggest boyfriend of all boyfriends (im quoting one of my moots), the first headcanon isn't sam x reader it's Jess x Sam (rip to the hottest couple) the headcanon came to me in a prophetic vision and i just had to leave it here, mention of Sam's childhood + I couldn't help myself but make a few headcanons about Dean too.

- I have a deep feeling (i'm an empath) that around college when he was with Jess and he wouldn't leave her side, Sam accidentally got adopted by her girl group of friends - hear me out - he would cling to Jess for his dear life shaking and not wanting to intrude or make him look nosy and Jess's girlfriends wouldn't bat an eye, welcoming Sam with open arms and treating him the same - they are the reason his guilty pleasure is gossiping. One of Jess's (girl)friends coming hurriedly towards the group with a shocked expression and a hand covering her mouth and Sam already knows the tea is scrumptious - he probably got called "girl" so many times - he didn't mind it btw, actually kinda liked it because that means they included him - spreading my "Sam Winchester enjoys the company of female friends more than male ones agenda" like wildfire ‼️ - "wyd when me and my gang pull up" and it's five y2k girls + a preppy blonde girl whose boyfriend is some 6'4 emo kid with a Green Day tee who follows her around with heart eyes

- "Dean, move your leg or I'm throwing your fucking mixtapes out of the window" you threaten annoyed at the audacity of the long ass older Winchester to just stretch out as if you're not both (tired af) in the back seat of baby, you try to find a comfortable position for what feels like the 50th time to stay for a few hours untill all of you make it in one piece to Washington (Dean might not since he is acting like that). "You touch my mixtapes and I might throw you out of the window, runt." Dean barks (lovingly), lifting his sunglasses on his head and pointing a defensive finger at you. You are too tired to think and to retort something snarky back but still settle on rolling your eyes and giving his foot a kick.

Sam is driving like a princess in the front, his legs are streched out with his back comfortably resting against his seat with an arm lazily holding the steering wheel as the wind coming from the rolled window brushes some of his hair on his forhead, all while looking effortlessly handsome. "Don't make me come back there" Sam laughs breaking the character he wanted to play along as (hint: dads on road trips). Sam's pants would catch on fire if he said he was annoyed at your childish bickering with his brother, he found it endearing. It just added to the list of things he liked about you. You gasp a little bit too dramatically and gesture towards Dean "He started it" you grumble. Dean gives you a kick of his own pulling his sunglasses back down and crossing his arms, atleast he retreats his legs giving you enough space to rest yours.

- uses every excuse to touch you (his hands are literally twitching in anticipation to hold yours, or hug you)

- Dean is a classic rock etillist (he learned that from J*hn) but his guilty pleasure is nu metal especially limp bizkit. - he only listens when Sam isn't around. - says he's getting himself a little treat (fancy headphones) with his hard-earned money (poker/credit card fraud) - J*hn introduced him to led zeppelin and Dean feels like he's dissapointing him by not being a carbon copy of him hence his secrecy - So the "guilty pleasure" has deeper roots

- Sam told you he doesn't remember owning a childhood plushie, you fix that

- you open the door and close it with your foot, hands clinging to the bag you're holding to your chest after almost stumbling over. Sam's expression changes into a smile upon your arrival, kinda like a golden reriever. He gets up from the reasearch papers scatterred around the table no longer the center of his attention to greet you.

"Hey" the word 'sweetheart' almost sneaks out of his mouth but he contained himself with grace, god forbid he makes you uncomfortable (he's alot like you y'know? ). "Hi" you reply breathlessly due to your almost stunt and the fact that Dean took Baby out so you had to walk back to the motel in the humid weather of Washington. You take off your shoes and set the bag on the table, Sam's nosy self is itching to see what's inside. Before you open anything you make sure to peel off the hoodie you have on and rest it on a chair. "I got something but i need you to close your eyes and lay out your hands please." You start already bitting back a smile with a tinge of nervousness at what his reaction could be.

Yes, you got Sam a plushie. You got matching ones, the one for Sam is a brown moose with dark brown glass eyes that kept reminding you of him. The one you got for yourself is a same-zise moose plushie in your favourite color. What's even more cuter is that both of the plushies came as a package and they can stick their hands together with the magic of little pieces of square shaped tape on each their hands (hooves?). Sam is scared and excited at the same time. He will thank you for whatever you got him, he raised himself to be gratefull, it's just that growing up he learned and was usually met with dissapointment. John not showing up for his soccer game and neither Dean because he is hunting with him? Yeah he knows. Not even a call from his dad on his 21st birthday? Yeah he expected that. But he knows you, and the amount of times you have dissapointed him. (hint: zero)

So he does as you told him to. He extends his hand and turns it over, his other arm resting by his side. He closes his eyes and does not open them once. Sam was that kinda kid at the playground, so fair and by the rules it's almost suspicious. He can hear the noise of the brown paper bag crinkling and somehow imagine the sight of you smilling brightly, a sight that almost bribes him to open his eyes and see for himself. He focuses on the sound untill he feels the soft velvet material of the plushie in his hands. He doesn't even open his eyes yet he just furrows his eyebrows in confusion as his fingers pet the fabric of the stuffed animal.

You stand there, the biggest most nervous smile planted on your face as you wait for his verdict. "Sam, you can open your eyes now." you speak loud enough for him to hear, and he does open them, they glisten wet under the crappy motel room light. He has this mix of sadness and joy on his face at the same time as he cranes his neck to look down at the stuffed animal in his hands, he can envelope it entirely if he tried. You wish you could read thoughts right now, to make Sam open up his brain to you and show you how he feels about this, whether the reaction is negative or positive, you just want (need) to hear him speak, fuck, he can even yell at you if that is what he chooses to do (he wouldn't in a million years). Regret hits you like a hurricane after a few seconds of silence, that's the last thing you wanted to do, make Sam remember what a shitty childhood he had with just a stuffed animal, a fucking toy. The thought that this could come off as a reminder for him that's like 'Hey buddy, your childhood is so fucked up I felt sorry for you, here' didn't even occur you. All you wanted to do is give him something normal, to make him feel normal, a feeling he has been chasing all of his life. You bought two matching moose plushies with the thought that you're gonna match with your bestfriend, you're going to share some normalacy with your bestfriend in your world, your monsters are real world.

You wanted to build a time machine and rescue little Sam and Dean from the fucking monster John Winchester was. Yes, John Winchester loved his boys, but neglect and love don't mix. Leaving a 10 year old to look out for a 6 year old isn't love, taking your children with you to fucking hunt and kill fairy tale monsters isn't love. "Sam?" You call out quietly, nervousness already visible in your body language. Sam shots his head up at the mention of his name and most importantly the tone of your voice. He gives you a weak tight lipped smile (as if the sight would spare you having to worry about him, as if you don't feel the need to bang your head against a wall whenever you see Sam in any kind of pain) and wipes a tear that runs down his cheek with the cuff of his hoodie. "Sam- I'm sorry- I thought-" You justify yourself and attempt at swallowing the lump formed in your throat, you rub your sweaty palms on your jeans and feel like the biggest asshole in the world. You awkwardly take a step closer untill you take in consideration the idea that getting closer might be the last thing he needs right now so you step right back. Sam tears taste sweet, he can confirm it himself. The way you spent time and money going to provide him with something he was wrongfully stolen off of having when he was only a kid made him tear up in the spam of a few seconds. You asked, he answered, you felt sorry, he desperately wants you to comfort him, then you do something to make him feel appreciated/cherished. He glances at you and sees the state you're in. His legs instinctively take three long strides towards you and envelopes you in the most comforting embrace anyone has ever gave you. You don't need to be psychic or practice insane voodoo/hoodoo to know exactly how this made him feel, it's all in this hug. You hug him back and Sam starts rubbing circles with his index finger on your back, he is crying his eyes out and he's still comforting anyone but himself. You hear his sniffles as he agressively wipes his nose with his cuff. "Thank you" he croaks out, his tone hoarse and raspy. He rests his head on top of yours and you can feel him finally relax. You can also tell he has no intention of breaking the hug anytime soon but that is your last worry. You made Sam happy tonight and that's all it matters.

- you and Sam are the golden retriever + black cat duo the world needs. - grocery trips with him (he doesn't need anything, just wanted to go with you) that are fun and weirdly domestic. - it's all making jokes and finding eachother the snacks you usually eat untill someone bumps into him and HE apologizes. "Sorry" he says giving the dude that's shorter than him a tight lipped smile. The dude presses "Almost dropped my shit 'cause of you assh-" You cut him off by clearing your throat and making him turn around his face dropping as he notices your glare at him. "He said he was sorry." You chide (threaten) with a scarily blunt tone, you have no idea how someone can even dare to look the wrong way at Sam, he's too tall for his own good and he's built like a brick wall. "Whatever" the dude leaves scoffing , your expression softening as soon as your eyes settle on Sam. He has a stupid dorky look on his face and adoration in his eyes, his hands shoved in his jean pockets towering over you almost awkwardly. "Ugh. What is it today asshole day?" You joke breaking the silence, (yes, you're quoting kat stratford) Sam just laughs and nods, you could say it's Christmas and he would believe you. "Looks like it." He agrees, not even caring for that asshole that he could've handled himself just fine, he hunts monsters for a goddamn career. He just adores the way you jumped to take his side.

- expressing your wish to find or atleast thrift a brown carhartt jacket similar to Sam's, only for him to offer giving it to you whenever you wanna wear it. - "S'okay you can wear it i don't mind, you just have to ask me before, yeah?" - he also can't stop blushing at the sight of you in his already baggy jacket appearing more larger on you.

- the jacket engulfs you in this sense of security and an addictive smell of Sam (his fav earthy cologne) - the way you're looking good, happy, and warm in his jacket makes Sam's heart skip a few beats. - Dean smirks and compliments you, having to take a double look to confirm it's infact Sammy's jacket on you "Looking good, Y/n" he smiles and sends Sam a wink you're to oblivious to notice but you do notice the tone he uses, replying back skeptically "Thanks?" but you shrug it off asking Sam if he wants to come with you to this fast food place to bring back dinner.

- When Dean's brain cells put 2 and 2 togheter and realizes you and Sam are absolutely pining for eachother he purposefully does alot of stuff so you're stuck spending time with Sam and vice versa. It's either an easy move to make you two go out/stay in or it's a geniusly absolutely malefically strategically thinked and mastered 50 step plan that has atleast 20 plan B's in case anything goes wrong but we all know he doesn't need them, the mission goes smoothly each time. if Winchesters are anything, it's stubborn, incredibly and stupidly stubborn so Dean is not giving up on making one of you confess to eachother and if you don't he might take matters in his own hands and scream it out loud enough for You and Sammy to hear.

- he is so eager, the first time you kissed him he automatically assumed he's your boyfriend. - "Is that any way to speak with your boyfriend?" With a jokingly hurt face and a dramatically placed hand on his chest when you're being too mean. - "As your boyfriend and your lore boy.." - "I'm Sam, their boyfriend.." when he's introducing himself to person he knows has certain intentions with you or somebody making you uncomfortable.

- you pulled a muscle in your shoulder while on a hunt and stubbornly denied anything ever hurted even when Sam asked. - you keep rolling your shoulder when Sam says "Looks like you pulled something alright. You probably shouldn't move too much, you'll just make it worse." You scoffed at that, no way Sam for real? I had no idea I had to do that, thank god a smart boy like yourself is right beside me. "Are you mansplaining to me how to let a pulled muscle heal?" You retort, mainly because of the pain partially cause mansplaining is unnecessary and ignorant. And when Sam thought he couldn't like you any more than he already does you proved him wrong. He only chuckled, amused by your snarky reply, even going as far as to apreciate your attitude. "I'm not mansplaining anything, I'm just stating facts. Even a five year old could tell you that overusing a muscle will make the pain worse." He teased back.

- He enjoys the intimacy between the two of you when there are jokes and certain things you and him can laugh about because you're both huge nerds.

- Bobby let's you borrow whatever books you want from his huge ass library (mans probably got illegal books there)

- Bobby and Dean give eachother knowing looks whenever you and Sam literally do anything togheter, you and him pretend not to notice, not even mentioning it.

- guys i wanna cuddle with Sam Winchester so bad it's not even funny anymore *sobbing while my eyeliner mixed with tears is running down my face*

- he's a big cuddlebug I am willing to bet all my life savings and my first born he is. - the way you feel so safe and comforted when his light pole build wraps two arms around you, holding you close, trying to get you impossibly closer. - his hugs are the same, tender yet firm reflecting on his gentle nature. - just spoons you when he finds you on the couch sleeping with a bunch of research papers scattered and dusty old books around you which he tosses aside, because he is too proud to ask for cuddles.

- you wake up in the middle of the night you have no idea what time is it, you have one missing sock, your throat is dry, and you feel an arm draped over your waist getting tighter around you the more you twist around. And that's when you hear it, it's right next to your ear, Sam's low sleepy hum as he stirrs behind you, nudging his face deeper into your neck. You have no choice but to lay there untill he wakes up 'cause there is no escaping.

a/n: again i'm posting this shaking, this took so long I was scared I wasn't gonna finish it. They are so long they might not classify as headcanons but i couldn't care less. The plushie one made me feel like hamilton while writting it lmaoo. Hope yall enjoyed!! 💞 feedback would be very much appreciated<33

[2sw]

🖤Understanding Season 4&5 Sam🖤

long post, 30 gifs

sorry I don't care if my english sucks or not anymore. I live with the urge to defend Sam 24/7, that's what it's about.

this post looks weird on pc… recommend you to read on the app

Supernatural S1E01 Pilot // S1E06 Skin S3E08 A Very Supernatural Christmas S4E19 Jump the Shark

Do you see the parallels here? This is why I think people who say season 4 Sam was annoying also hate every other character in this show, they just don't realize that. It was not a big deal when other characters treated Sam the way they did, but when Sam started to mirror them you suddenly find it annoying? That's absurd. I know almost every filmmaking choice of this show is unfair to Sam and I hate that too, but still we audiences can see things from various angles and think for ourselves. And sometimes you need to see the story as a story, not something to take sides.

Supernatural S3E16 No Rest for the Wicked Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Sam lost his entire family at the end of season 3. He was full of remorse, and to make up for that he was literally following his family's footsteps. Sam became obsessed with revenge like John did after Mary died. Season 4 was about that vicious cycle, the tragedy of it. Dean sold his soul for Sam just like John did for him. Sam tried to be more like his dad and big brother and did what they taught him. And Sam's relapse was a part of the addiction cycle. But Dean locking up Sam in the panic room changed nothing, the final seal was broken after all. So Lucifer gets out, and the oldest family drama is about to start all over again. It wasn't about who was right or wrong. It was about the circle, a never ending story. The next season was about restoring trust in each other and seeking redemption, and Sam eventually broke the chain by sacrificing himself. That's what makes Swan Song the tragic ending of all time. (though it all comes back as the show keeps going on... but what is spn without The Codependency™)

So, yeah, it's beyond me how some people can't see the reason behind Sam's choices in this season cause the context was SO clear. If you watch the show, you can see how much Sam and Dean affect each other and how much both are affected by John in different ways. And it's natural because they are family. We are who we are because of everyone and everything that has happened in our lives, and same goes for every fictional character, including Sam. It's just as simple as that. Sam was just trying to live by his brother's will while battling with grief and loss. He had to keep on fighting without Dean. And the reason why Dean wasn't with him was because Dean sold his soul to save Sam and went to hell for it. It not only made Sam the sole survivor of the family but also made the very being of him their entire legacy. Starting with Mary making a deal with Azazel, every choice ever made in this family is what brought him there. As I said earlier, it's the cycle. And a consequence. In short, if it is a sin, I think it’s everyone’s.

Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Sam and Dean's fate to be vessels? Their destiny? It doesn't matter in the end. This show was always about fate AND free will. Free will was always there. You always have choices. Sam was the one who believed that most desperately so he became the one who broke the cycle. Even though it was only the last page, he ripped out the written fate anyway and wrote the ending himself. YES HE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER. And after everything he did for the world, the story made him suffer eternal agony with the Devil because he is also a tragic hero figure. (SIGH literally the character of all time)

You can see this all only as an observer, as an audience. For Sam, the only thing he could do at the moment was just find the person to blame―in this case, it's a demon named Lilith― and get revenge. And he was lost somewhere along the road, he became an addict because he couldn't do anything about his loved ones dying, but when he drinks the demon blood it gives him power and a sense of control. (aaaaaand I still don't get why writers wrote this as some kind of diabolical desire in 4x18. I get it sammy what the fuck would chuck know about helplessness)

You can say you wouldn't suck up the demon blood, that's fine, but this story was written in this way, and if Sam didn't do that, the story couldn't go forward. Why? Because he is the main character. (It always had to be you, Sammy!) And reminds you that if you want to watch a show with multiple seasons, you have to remember what happened before to understand what’s going on now. So please don't make up things in your head, just go back to where it all started. There are contexts in everything. Everyone is a consequence of each other, but we don't have to be bound to that fact. We have choices: to change, to make things better. That's why we should be kind to each other, and for that, I love and respect Sam so much cause he didn't let his traumas define him and always tried to be a better person. ♡

I'm not done yet!!! see also this:

Supernatural S3E04 Sin City Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Dean worried when Sam killed a demon with the Colt to save him cause it also killed a person who was being possessed, and it was 'cold'. But then when he finds out about the demon blood, he is so mad that he doesn't even care about the fact Sam was saving possession victims and just screaming in Sam's face "Use the knife!". It's so??? What is the logic here? This just proves it's always been about his feelings, not really about saving people. Is that an evil thing? No, I don’t think so. Dean is just a human, he can’t control what he feels. But if you use this to beat up Sam, I'll go feral then. Cause Sam is a human too.

And look at Ruby's masterful manipulation skill. Makes Sam feel guilty about everything, and comes back with what he needs when no one's left around him. She really was the best of those sons of bitches.

Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Seriously, what was Sam supposed to do? Everyone on this show didn't even bother to understand Sam and just decided everything he ever did was fundamentally wrong. Sam was using his own body to change the things outside of him, cause there is nothing he can do about the fact of his body, the blood in it. In life, there are things we can change and we can't. We have to live with that non-negotiable fact for our whole life. Sam learned this most painful way... And one thing about Sam is that he never let the unchangeable things make him give up the things he can change. It's not always a good thing though, cause Sam in s4 was very self-destructive. He was obsessive, and that is one of his problems. Sam is so stubborn and doesn't give up on anything easily. Actually this problem could be solved after s7 cause he tried to move on, but s8 happened… so it got worse, kept getting worse, and look what happened in s10. The most heartbreaking domino effect, I'd say...

Supernatural S5E03 Free to Be You and Me Supernatural S5E06 I Believe the Children Are Our Future

Anyways, back to the point. Unfortunately, Sam started the apocalypse. And what did he do after that? When the whole world tried to hunt him down, the devil wanted to crawl inside him, and an angel called him an abomination? He didn't give up there to remain that abomination. He didn’t surrender. Instead, Sam begged for a second chance. He wanted to atone, wanted redemption. He still believed in others even though he lost trust in himself. He believed there was still something he could do about it. Even when he was possessed by Lucifer, he fought till the end to save his brother and the world. And he did it. He was a fucking hero at that moment, sadly a tragic one too. But the important thing is: Sam Winchester represents hope. (I think Swan Song was a perfect ending as a tragedy. This show got weaker and weaker after s5 which kinda ruined the perfection, but I'm also so glad the show continued cause this message fits more hopefully in Carry On. I needed to see Sam rewarded with something better than eternal agony after all those additional tortures of 10 more seasons.)

One last thing, you know what's funny about Metamorphosis? Dean had nothing to say about the fact Sam saved more people than when they were hunting together, so he just went "That what Ruby wants you to think?" Dude what was going on in your mind. like that was what Ruby intended, he was right about that only by chance, but I still find it funny that Dean said that at this exact moment. And he does this a lot, attacking the messenger when he can't refute the message. He didn't have any rational reasons like Sam, he just didn't like it and that's all(and honestly I think this can be an actual reason too cause there's a history behind it which I talked about it here. I wish Dean had just talked to Sam and had a real conversation. but he never talks about his feelings, that's what Dean Winchester does. so… yep not gonna happen. also, if the brothers have a healthy relationship, that is not supernatural lol), so he brought up Angels and evoked Sam's religious guilt. And the Angels in question also turned out to be manipulative assholes later. Everyone makes mistakes, but somehow Sam is always the one who gets most condemned and blamed. Dean, On the other hand, is justified by the narrative so many times even when it is actually his fault. As I said, unfair. This is not even a Dean crit post, I'm just mad at unreasonable people and the way this show works in general.

I swear I was normal before watching this season. Sam's demon blood arc was what made me insanely fall in love with him, so when I found out all those hate for Sam… that really could be my villain origin story but instead I chose to be on tumblr, so yeah I believe love wins<3 ha what a way to end a post. sorry guys

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

Watching a reactor on YouTube who just got to Season 4: Lazarus Rising, and I’m so annoyed by the amount of comments with people saying things like, "this is when the series REALLY starts" and "Seasons 1-3 were the prologue, now The Story begins" and "I’ve been waiting for you to meet my favorite character!"

First, I will never be able to understand Castiel being someone's legitimate favorite character. I just don’t get it. He starts off as a massive dick, becomes an ally, uses and betrays both brothers a number of times, rarely takes full responsibility for his actions, and ends up as a totally different and neutered version of himself. But this guy is your favorite!? The only reason I think a large number of fans who love him do is because he comes in the gate treating Sam like crap and he becomes a simp for Dean (or they are shippers). Also, if someone is a more casual fan, I can see enjoying Cass because he’s quirky and he mostly stands up for the Winchesters, but if someone is a big fan of the brothers, Cass makes their lives harder a lot of the time. Also, I’m coming to really hate the fact that the dude is always in a trench coat. How am I supposed to take a character seriously who is essentially like an unchanging cartoon character come to life? Anyway, despite how it might sound from my ranting, I actually do think people are allowed to love whatever character they want, but it just doesn’t compute for me personally that it’s Cass as he is on screen (not in someone’s head).

Next, the idea of people calling the first three seasons "The Prologue" to supernatural is offensive to me personally (well, not offensive but it’s dumb as hell). A prologue is used to give some important background that should be known for you to better understand the main story, but it happened before, or doesn’t quite fit into, the main narrative. I’m sorry, but the first three seasons of Supernatural are the foundation that everything builds off of, and maybe I’m splitting hairs here, but it’s not just the set up to the Real Story. The Real Story of Supernatural has always been and will always be "the epic love story of Sam and Dean," not the angel crap. Calling the basis of the whole show the prologue has an implied message that it’s not as important as, or connected to the rest of the story. Again, people are allowed to have their own opinions about what they enjoy in media, but this idea that what came before Season 4 wasn’t as important as the rest of the show is actually bad media literacy, especially when you consider how much retconning and inconsistency later seasons have (*cough* John Winchester, for exapmle). The early seasons are Supernatural at its most pure, and if you don’t like or care about Sam and Dean's story, what are you doing here?

I was going to go on by listing all of the important things that we learn about Sam and Dean's characters and relationship in the first three seasons, but honesty, I’m tired. If you’re reading my post, I’m sure you already know. True fans of the show, even if seasons 1 to 3 aren’t their favorite, know how important these seasons are. Frankly, if someone claims that they don’t matter as much as the later season, then I’m going to assume that they are probably a heller (and I’m probably right), thus their opinions on the show don’t matter.

Speaking of Hellers, they are the Jehovah’s Witnesses of fandom. They descend on your doorstep (YouTube video, blog post, etc), uninvited and unwelcome, to make you uncomfortable by forcing their literature (head-canons and subtext) on you in a vain attempt to make you convert to their twisted version of a cult religion (Destiel). Some get indoctrinated into their cult, others consider them a joke, and yet others are driven to madness by the constant hounding of the hellers. I wish they would just stay in their lane and let people come to their own conclusions about the show and the characters, but they try to gatekeep the fandom experience by jumping on anyone new and telling them how they are the "most popular ship" and that supernatural queerbaits, but Dean and Cass are still totes husbands, and there is some other guy there, too but Sam is just some jerk who isn’t as important as Wuwu Dean and their Little Meow Meow Cass. If somone actually sees and enjoys Destiel on their own, great, good for them; they’ll find the blogs and groups who love it too. Hellers don’t need to try actively recruiting people. It’s all just a numbers gone to them. We have the most fanfic (um, yes, because the show doesn’t deliver what you want), we are the most popular ship (sure, because the other main ship is brothers which squicks some people out, and because you crucify anyone who admits to being a Wincest shipper), and they tell the stupidest lies (the show shifts away from being about the brothers, and focusses more on Dean and Cass' "relationship," and Sam isn’t as important to the story later). I wish they would just stay in their own sandbox and not come pee in everyone else's. Cult like behavior in action.

Okay, deep breaths. I’m grad I got that one off of my chest, but my blog is getting very ranty. I’m going to try make sure my next post is a positive one.

Happy weekend everyone!

[emeraldsummers]

Smoker!Dean headcanons (aka if Dean was a smoker throughout the series)

As a teenager, Dean would smoke whenever he could get his hands on a cigarette, but it was pretty rare. Money was too tight to buy them, and it wasn't worth the risk of stealing them, but occasionally, Dean was able to trade for loose cigarettes. He loved the head rush and loved feeling like an adult.

Pre-series, Dean didn't start smoking in earnest until he started doing hunts without his father. John didn't like the smoking, so Dean hid it from him. Still, money was tight, so Dean only smoked a few cigarettes a day at most. His favourite thing in the world was being whiskey buzzed and sharing a cigarette with a girl.

Dean never, ever smoked inside the Impala.

Seasons 1-2 Dean is still smoking a few cigarettes per day, properly addicted at this point, and irritable when he isn't able to get a smoke break. Sam is constantly bugging him to quit, and Dean pretends he could quit any time he wants to. Sam gets non-smoking motel rooms whenever he can, which annoys the hell out of Dean.

Season 3, with the demon deal looming, Dean starts smoking more now, and by the end of the season, he is fully chain smoking regularly. Sam finds it gross but generally allows it to slide because he knows Dean needs it.

Season 4, Dean comes back from Hell with zero physical dependence on nicotine and decides to treat it like a fresh start. He doesn't smoke. He uses his experience with smoking to try (and fail) to empathize with Sam's blood addiction.

Season 5, Dean starts smoking when he's drunk, which turns into smoking when he's stressed, which by the end of the season, when he almost says "yes" to Michael, turns into him smoking all of the time again.

When he lives with Lisa and Ben, he tries to quit for their sake, but he still sneaks a cigarette outside on really bad nights. Lisa pretends not to notice.

Season 6, the smoking continues, but not as heavy as season 5. Sam is actively annoyed about it at this point, and Dean has long stopped finding smoking to be fun.

Season 7, as Dean spirals downwards after Cas' betrayal, he smokes much more heavily. It's starting to affect him physically, especially without Cas to heal him. He starts saying things like, "I'm getting too old for this." Since he isn't able to drive the Impala for most of the season, he smokes in the cars they steal, which really bothers Sam.

In Purgatory, Dean has no choice but to quit cold turkey, which is miserable, and once he's home, he continues that streak into seasons 8 and 9, his longest smoke-free period.

Unfortunately, demon!Dean picks up smoking again, and even when he's cured, smoking becomes one of his coping mechanisms for quelling the Mark.

Seasons 11 and 12, he struggles with trying to quit, going anywhere from days to months at a time without smoking before falling back into it. When Cas dies at the end of season 12, he begins chainsmoking again along with regularly getting black-out drunk, and Sam really worries for his brother's health.

After Cas returns in season 13, Dean begins working to quit again in earnest, creating a system with Sam, Cas, and Jack's help. This time, it sticks through the end of the series, but Dean does heavily consider starting up again as he spirals towards the end of season 15.

Post-series Dean is trying to maintain being smoke-free, especially since Cas is gone and Jack is hands-off. He knows any damage he does will be permanent this time, and he doesn't particularly feel like dying of cancer. But it turns out the boredom of the world not ending is worse for his cravings than the stress was. He starts smoking weed, trying to convince himself it's a proper substitute, but eventually, he just smokes weed because he likes it.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

My Commentary on Rob and Rich Reviewing (4x14) Sex and Violence

I was listening to the latest Supernatural Then and Now Podcast (The Siren Episode) and I had to stop it after the Rob and Rich review to write down my thoughts because it annoyed me so much.

The guys both thought the episode was okay, but a bunch of things “bumped” for them. This is fine, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion about an episode, but some of the things that “bumped” for them “bump” for me.

My thoughts under the cut …

Bump # 1 - The Siren turning out to be a man

So, both Rs had an issue with the siren being a man since the lore showed them as women, and I think, because in real mythology they are women. Though they conceded that the a male siren could be a thing too, it seemed to really bother them that the siren ended up not being about a sexual connection with the brothers (though Rich saw the flask sharing scene as flirtatious … because no guys have ever shared a flask, including, Dean and Bobby).

I’m sorry, but the siren targeting the brothers, and using a version of an ideal brother to get to Dean isn’t a plot hole or a “stretch” or something, it’s an interesting choice and it’s exactly the point of the episode. While many men are vulnerable to a pretty woman who is into them, Dean just wants Sam. He wants his relationship with Sam to be better. In particular, he’s so worried about Sam and insecure in their bond that he wants a Sam who likes what he likes but, more importantly, one who listens to him and doesn’t hide things from him. And I know I’ve written about this before on a previous post, but Dean doesn’t NEED the siren to be a hot girl; he can find one of those easily. He needs a Sam he can trust. That’s the whole point. The show is drawing the comparison between sexual intimacy/romantic companionship (usually one of the most desired things in literature/media) to the brothers relationship to show how much brotherhood matters to Dean in particular (in this case).

The way the male siren actor portrays its interest in the brothers, to me, is very much like it’s intrigued and excited that it found a high even better than the sexual desire that it usually feeds off of. When the siren feels how desperate Dean is for the bond with Sam to be fixed, it finds him more interesting than it’s usual target. Dean’s longing for Sam (not sexual) is even stronger than the sexual desire or romantic companionship that the siren usually feeds off of, so much so that the siren changes its entire MO to go after the brothers.

Bump # 2 - The Doctor sleeping with Sam (when she isn’t the siren) is weird

So, the Rs disagreed on the “bumpiness” of this one. Rob thought it was weird that the doctor would just decide to sleep with Sam (at work), while it didn’t bother Rich because … Jared Padalecki. Sound argument (in this case), Rich.

Still, the doctor is a little unusual, and her behaviour is clearly intended to be a misdirect, but the show does a good enough job of suggesting she had a bad breakup (or worse) and is now just sort of living in the moment, so her behaviour doesn’t bother me. Also, Sam is hot.

What is stranger than the doctor’s behaviour, for the audience who knows him, is Sam having sex with her I that moment. Not only that, but Sam is very chill when she’s hitting on him, where in the past, Sam has often been a little shy or awkward with women that he’s been attracted to or interested in. So no, this is not Sam’s usual MO to sleep with the doctor, especially when we know he and Ruby are or were also sleeping together. Sam is not acting entirely like his usual self. And he hasn’t been acting entirely like himself for a while now.

Bump # 3 - The Siren telling the boys to fight each other and saying the winner can “be with” him

I don’t know why they had an issue with this. The siren literally explains that it loves the rush of having people willing to do anything for it, even kill people they love. What the siren tells the brothers doesn’t matter because it’s not like it’s really planning to have a relationship with the brother who wins the fight. And the boys are already infected at this point, so it’s just giving them incentive to fight. It’s not sticky about the sexual-ness of people’s need for the siren, it’s about the desperation they have to be with it (in whatever way).

Bump #4 - Sam dismissing the Doctor after sleeping with her.

The guys were both bothered by Sam not bothering to say goodbye to the doctor, and they mentioned that it seemed sort of old-school (womanizing?). Rob said that Sam dismissing her was more like something Dean would do than Sam. I know that I already said this, but this is the whole point. Sam hasn’t been acting like his old self. This isn’t an accidental writing mistake, where the writer accidentally wrote Sam more like Dean. Sam is different now.

It also isn’t like Sam to call Dean weak, or ridicule him for being messed up from his experience in hell. Season 2 Sam would never, and Season 3 Sam wouldn’t either. Season 4 Sam has changed from the trauma of losing Dean, drinking demon blood, and having Ruby in his ear.

Also, to play devils advocate on myself, Sam has actually left towns before without saying goodbye to the girl he had a connection with, maybe not after sleeping with her, but it’s not wholly out of character for him to leave without saying goodbye (I’m not criticizing him for this). Also, I really don’t think that doctor was looking for anything more from Sam beyond hooking up in her office, so this doesn’t bother me much.

Final thoughts

Anyway, I’m not arguing that everyone has to love every episode, or even like all the ones that I do. I’m not even arguing that people need to like Sex and Violence because it really can be a little uncomfortable, and there is a bit of a sexual undercurrent to it all, even though that’s not the sirens intention with the brother. That’s also not exactly new on Supernatural. However, it’s weird to me that so many of the things that “bumped” for Rob and Rich seem to me like very deliberate choices by the writers, not careless mistakes or pointlessly out of character. This episode reveals a lot about where Sam and Dean are at this point in the season, both individually and in their relationship.

Granted, I have the benefit of watching the episode and knowing where it’s all leading, but this is what sort of bothers me about hearing people discuss the show who are doing it for a purpose and are probably only half-invested in the story. They miss things that seem like they should be really clear. Also, it’s funny when they find things uncomfortably sexual in relation to Sam and Dean (they didn’t outright say that, but I think it was implied in what they said) and act like it’s a surprise or out of place. Again, this isn’t new. They obviously listened to too many hellers if they didn’t realize that Sam and Dean are weirdly close at times or that the show makes some pretty blatant parallels between them and couples or makes quasi-incestuous connections between Sam and Dean.

I have nothing else to add here. This was mostly just a rant, but feel free to add your two cents if you made it this far.

[daughterofcain-67]

🅦hαt 🅞ncє 🅦αs 🅜ínє (pt.2)

(Dean Winchester x Reader)

(Part 1) (Part 3)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After a phone call from Jodi, Dean decides to go see you in hopes to make things up to you. You debate on whether or not he should know about his daughter.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: None other than a mention of some spoilers

The sound of one of Dean’s Black Sabbath cassettes rang through the Impala as he focused on the road. Jodi had been in contact with Y/N? Why didn't Y/N reach out to him? Or even Sam?

That phone call from Jodi was unexpected and Dean still didn't know all of the details of everything. All Dean knew was that Y/N was working at some Walgreen's several towns over from Jodi and now she was living with Jodi after they reconnected while Jodi was on a hunt one weekend.

"Dude, why are you so tense about this?" Dean heard his little brother ask. You know for a guy that's supposed to be the smarter one of the duo, he definitely had his blond moments once in a while. But then again, Dean hadn't had the time to lead on how worked up about you leaving he really was.

"It's just.. when she left it wasn't exactly on the best terms, okay? Let's leave it at that." Dean answered and Sam raised a brow. It was a look from the younger brother that seemed to say 'maybe we shouldn't leave it at that' but Sam knew it was an issue between you and Dean and honestly- the younger hunter wasn't sure he would even know how to help fix things if Dean told him everything.

"Well maybe that's why Jodi called you in the first place. I mean it wasn't a secret to anyone that she cared about you. Maybe Jodi thought that now would be a good time for you to talk about whatever that fight was. I mean it's been a year, and I think that's a long enough time without reaching out."

Dean listened and tightened his jaw. It was a little annoying how much sense Sam made sometimes. It was partly the reason why Sam ended up being the one taking on these trials anyways, and Dean still hated the idea because in his mind it was his job to keep Sam safe - even if they were in their 30's.

"Yeah, I guess you have a point." Dean finally replied but his gaze was still fixed on the road ahead of him to get to Jodi's.

~

"You asked him to come here?" You asked Jodi with a bit of an upset tone. You weren't prepared to see Dean, and a part of you didn't want to after what happened when you left. He wanted you gone and you wanted to stay away.

"Y/N you need to be real about this. It's been a year and you need to talk this out. Plus, don't you think Dean has a right to know about his daughter? He's already lost three months with her." The sheriff pointed out as she sat next to Y/C/N and watched her play while she was on her tummy.

"Dean was the one that said he never should have brought me along. And even then maybe he shouldn't know about Y/C/N. Not because I don't want him to - but because both of the boys have enough on their plates almost constantly. He couldn't handle having a baby around even he wanted her. It'll only add on to his stress and that's honestly the last thing he needs." You sat down with Jodi and your daughter.

"That's a little unfair though, isn't it? He deserves at least a chance. Having a kid causes stress to anyone whether they're a hunter or not. It's hard being a parent and it can be challenging and its frustrating. Trust me, I would know. But on the flip side, having a child brings so much joy. Their smiles give you a reason to go on. They'll make you laugh, make you cry, make you feel proud. I'm sure you've felt some of those things already as a new mom." You nodded as Jodi spoke and looked at your daughter.

"Don't you think Dean deserves the chance to feel all of those things too? Don't you think Y/C/N deserves to have a father in her life?"

You continued to listen and you started to think. You remembered a time when Dean would talk about walking away from hunting and how he tried that with Lisa and Ben. You remembered how he would think it would be impossible to retire and have that fabled 'Apple Pie' life again. Then you started thinking about your daughter. You knew she would be better off if she had two parents. At least you hoped that would be the case anyways.

You watched as Y/C/N lifted her legs a little and tried her best to get on all fours so she could crawl or at least sit up. She had that same exact look of determination that Dean gets on his face. You knew Dean would raise her up with Rock and Roll and Scooby Doo, and you knew she would be all for it.

"We'll just have to see how he even feels about all of it. Who knows what kind of chaos both the boys are going through. If Dean thinks he can handle having a baby around amongst all of everything then we can talk about it." You said after a few moments with your thoughts.

"How long do you think it will take for them to get here?" You glanced over at Jodi as she started getting up and she walked over to the coat rack to get her jacket.

"Well, I gave him the call last night around midnight our time. I wouldn't be surprised if he and Sam were on the way right after the call. So maybe they'll be here sometime this afternoon or this evening if they don't stop." Jodi replied as she finished putting on her jacket and got ready to go to the station.

Your heart nearly flipped at the idea of Dean being that eager to see you again. But you had to force yourself to remember the fight so you wouldn't get too excited. You couldn't afford to have your heart so eagerly on your sleeve for Dean Winchester again.

"I see. Well, can you think of anything you would want for dinner tonight? I was thinking about going to the store and picking up some groceries anyway." You tried to change the subject and Jodi just smiled and chuckled.

"Make whatever you'd like. But don't forget the pie for the boys." She said, knowing Dean would eat most of the pie rather than Sam.

~

The evening came and after you fed your daughter and gave her a bath, you put her to bed in her crib in your room and she was fast asleep. Now you were in the kitchen making dinner for that night since Jodi was on her way back.

'What do I say? How would I even bring her up? Maybe it can just wait a while. Maybe he wouldn't warm up to the idea of kids after all.' Your mind was going a mile a minute as you started making some pasta. It was something simple and low energy to make and you were grilling some chicken with it.

But the more you allowed yourself to over think about it all, the more you gave yourself a headache. Your stomach was churning with the wave of anxiety because it's been so long since you've seen the Winchesters. A part of you wondered if you should even be feeling this way.

After all, if Sam said you shouldn't have been brought along and if they thought you had been such a hindrance to them, then why should you even consider the hope of hunting with them again? You were a mom now and you were with Jodi so now you had help. You didn't need the boys - even if you desperately wanted to be with them again. Especially Dean.

You heard the door open and you assumed it was Jodi based off the laughter that you hear but you also hear more than just her footsteps. You hear two other sets of footsteps followed by an all to familiar voice.

"You should've seen the time when Sam was bringing some groceries to the bunker. He slipped and fell and the milk dropped on the stairs and practically exploded everywhere." Dean laughed and you assume the brothers were telling embarrassing stories about one another to catch Jodi up on their shenanigans.

"I swear I had a bruise on my back for like a month. And its not easy going down stairs with bags blocking your view of where you step." Sam said and rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed to say the least. "Plus you should've seen Dean with the pie prank."

"A pie prank? What did you do, Sam?" Jodi asked with a chuckle as she took off her jacket and placed it on the coat hanger.

"It wasn't a prank, it was the work of Lucifer." Dean said with so much annoyance in his tone.

"It was more like a work of art, really," Sam said with a smile before speaking again, "Dean wanted a pie one night. Nothing too out of the ordinary about that because it's Dean. Well I got him some pie and while the rest of dinner was being cooked, I mixed some hot peppers in with the pie filling."

Jodi laughed and Sam joined in when he reminisced on the prank he played on his older brother, "He went through three bottles of water. I swear he has almost no spice tolerance."

"Not when its ghost peppers like what you mixed in the filling." Dean remarked but he cracked a grin nonetheless. It was a memorable moment for sure and it was some joy for Sam in the downtime of their constant hunting and world saving.

"Oh you boys. Even with all of the jobs you've got it's nice to know you two still have fun with each other once in a while." Jodi smiled as she started walking into the kitchen. She motioned for the boys to follow her and so they did.

"Smells good in here, Y/N. Whatcha makin'?" You heard Jodi ask and when you looked over you smiled at Jodi.

"Some chicken alfredo." You answered and that was when you saw Dean walking through the door with his brother.

You swore that your heart stopped that you saw Dean and both of you instantly locked eyes. He was just as handsome as the day you left. He was really there with his brother. What were you supposed to say to him first? But you knew that you needed to say something to both of them.

"Hey, guys. Make yourself at home." You said and turned around so you could break your gaze from Dean and focus on the meal so nothing could burn.

Jodi and Sam looked at each other and Jodi watched as Sam gave Dean a little nudge to go talk to you. Then, Jodi and Sam went to the living room so they could talk.

Dean looked over and he saw that the other two left, then he looked back at you. He gulped a little before he started to walk over. It was odd. Dean has faced monsters, demons, angels, and yet he was hesitating on a simple interaction. Then again, you held a special spot in his heart and the fact that he pushed you away was holding him back. You had to still be angry with him right?

"Y/N, I.. You look great." He said and you could tell that he was struggling with where to start.

"Thanks. You haven't changed much." You replied and focused on the stovetop. You heard the way Dean sighed before he carefully reached out and took a careful hold of one of your hands and took the utensil form you. Then he turned the burner down.

He looked down at you and you refused to meet his gaze at first. But he gave your hand a soft squeeze before he started speaking.

"Y/N, I think you know why I'm here. I wouldn't put it past Jodi to let you know I was coming." He said and you shrugged slightly before you slowly lifted your gaze up at him and you took your hand away from him.

"I knew you were coming. I didn't really ask why you would travel all this way." You answered and crossed your arms a little, trying so hard to stay guarded.

"You haven't thought at all about the last night we spent at that hotel when we fought? Haven't thought about the argument? Because I have and if I could take everything back then I would. And you aren't exactly making things easy by being stand offish." Dean said.

"Dean, you can't just come over one night and expect everything to be fine and dandy just because you feel bad about what happened. What you said really hurt that night. Your problem is that you just don't think before you open your damn mouth. I know I wasn't there for a lot in the beginning and when Cass first came onto the scene. I know I came into your lives a little late but I turned out to be a pretty damn good hunter. Me caring about you didn't make it to where I was in the way. It made it to where Sam wasn't the only one looking out for you when Cass wasn't around. You were the one that messed up. And boy, you messed up big time."

"Don't you think I know that? You're right, I don't always think before I speak. And I regretted what happened everything I said the second after I let it slip. And I regretted it ever since you walked out of that door, alright? But ever since I got the call from Jodi that you were with her, I knew I had to see you again to at lease apologize even if you wouldn't listen."

"Then show me that you regretted it. Show me how badly you wish you could have taken everything back." You dared as you looked at Dean. Dean didn't hesitate this time around and he backed you up against the counter.

He lifted his hand and cupped your cheek and started to lean closer and closer until...

You suddenly hear your daughter crying upstairs. You saw a change in Dean's eyes as he backed up from you a little. You thought your mind was racing before: it was nothing compared to this moment. What could possibly be going on in Dean's mind now?

"Y/N? Is there something you need to tell me?"

Thank you guys for reading!

Feel free to let me know what you think! The feedback really helps a lot! Planning for a part three soon! Hope you enjoyed!

Tag list:

@chriszgirl92 @wildernessflora

[apples-and-heartbreak]

I feel like when I’m reading or watching something, for me to like a hero, they have to

1) have ambition about anything

2) not be annoying

3) not excuse their shitty behaviour with their shitty childhood

4) not be so self-righteous they don’t see their own flaws

For these reasons I hate with a burning passion Jace Herondale, Clary Fairchild, Eli Ever, Tiberius “Cal” Calore VIII, Dean Winchester, and Legend/Dante Santos

Jace is constantly doing something shitty in every book and people don’t care and they just put up with it for some reason. In CoG he belittles Clary because he wants to push her away but keeps coming back to her. He also keeps coming onto Clary when he thought she was his sister and said that cursed sentence in CoG that I need to bleach from my brain. I know if he said that shit to me I would’ve punched him in his stupid face cuz who does he think he is? He mocks the werewolves after they lost a child in their pack, he’s just awful to Alec at times, he doesn’t seem to understand there are consequences to his actions and just does shit because he wants to. He had the emotional maturity of a dried up pinecone.

Clary also does so much shit and people don’t call her out because she’s the protagonist and she just lets Jace do whatever to her because he’s hot. Girl please get a grip. She slut shames Izzy because apparently women aren’t allowed to have a sex life or wear revealing clothing 😒 girl you kissed someone you thought was YOUR BROTHER!! She dated Simon to get over Jace and then kissed Jace in the Seelie Court, and repeatedly thought about Jace in a romantic sense WHILE she thought they were SIBLINGS! I can’t.

Eli is so self-righteous, annoying and hypocritical. He uses God and religion as an excuse to kill innocent people which is just disgusting. Like I get that he thinks being an EO changed a person because Victor became different but he is an EO himself and he just takes it on himself to murder innocent people for simply existing.

Cal has no desire to do anything, at least up to the beginning of King’s Cage he doesn’t (where I currently am). He knows how poorly the Reds are being treated and he doesn’t want to change anything because (and I’m paraphrasing) there would be outrage among the Silvers and a war would break out. Bitch you are already at war! He’s the reason why so many innocent young Reds have lost their lives fighting in a war they have no say in. He sees the Scarlet Guard killing Silvers and he doesn’t try to stop them. He sulks and whines but doesn’t take any real action, which he could if he actually wanted to. He stalks around the camp like Mare’s dog and thinks he’s better than everyone.

Dean Winchester is an abusive asshole. He locked Sam in the cellar when he was addicted to demon blood when he knew the withdrawal could kill him. He shit on Sam for being manipulated. He’s made horrible perverted jokes about women, might I remind y’all of the high school episode (he was at least 26 at the time). He guilted Sam for leaving him in Hell and Purgatory when he did THE EXACT SAME THING when Same went to the cage. He threatened Kaia, a teenager at gun point for his own selfish purposes. He abused Jack til the very end, yelling that he wasn’t family when Jack had sacrificed his soul and life for the Winchesters, and made Jack hate himself for being born. He was shitty to Cas in so many seasons and didn’t care that Cas just went through seeing his son die and wasn’t able to save him. He violated Sam’s body by tricking him into letting Gadreel in which led to the death of Kevin and had the audacity to think he was wronged.

Dante is shit. Julian, his brother, lived with him for centuries, followed him wherever he went and loved him unconditionally. All Julian asked was for Dante to love him back, which he never did. When Julian finally found someone who loved him, Dante made fun of him. And then in the next book he gives up his immortality for Tella, a girl he has known for literal months at most. He didn’t love his brother, who has been with him since the beginning, enough to give up his immortality but he loved this random girl he has known for a couple months at most to give it all up?? Tella should’ve left him in the dust just like she did Jacks and went off on adventures by herself and met someone that wasn’t a twat.

[followafallingstar]

You meet Michael again - Cordelia

Summary: The oldest archangel had been keeping a good eye on you the last few days, making sure you weren't in any trouble yet you popped up at the one place where he didn't want you. At the bunker. Pairing: Michael/female Reader, Michael/ Witch Disclaimer/ Trigger Warning: soulmate au, Stalking, Mention of stalking, invasion of privacy

Soulmate au: God created a soulmate for each one of his children. For angels finding their soulmate is one of the most honorable tasks they could achieve due to the amount of luck they must have since the soul of a human mate can be sent to earth at any time during the existence of humanity. But when an angel does meet their other half their loyalty to god switches to their mate, protecting them at all costs. Feelings such as love and lust are only acceptable and archivable for angels when they meet their soulmate and that only to the mate too so acts of unloyalty or cheating don’t exist in their world.

Tagged <3: @elf-punk

While he had found out by now that you are no ordinary human he had hoped that you were part of the people that studied magic out of curiosity and not a need to protect themselves. Well, he was wrong. Oddly he and Lucifer ended up being part of the Whinchster's little group since they started searching for his father causing him to permanently stay at the bunker.

While preparing for an upcoming hunt with the Winchesters, he noticed that the soft voice of the person on the other side of the bunker sounded too much like you. It had to be you. He immediately walked towards the direction, opened the door to the library, and interrupted the conversation that had been going on between you and Sam. "Cora?" he called your name. Your eyebrows shot up, remembering the voice of the man who had approached you a few days ago at the beach.

"Hello, Michael" You answer but not understanding why he was here or why exactly he looked so panicked. "How do you know Sam Winchester?" What an odd question considering you and your sisters have been in touch with the hunter brothers since the early stage of their little adventure of finding their father, sometimes helping each other out here and there. You weren't sure if you should tell him the truth considering you barely knew him and the fact that he dared to talk to you as if you owed him an answer. It made you feel like throwing a fireball right in his face, not that you knew that he was pretty much invisible and would a hundred percent correct you on your improper stance.

But considering he was with the boys you knew that he must be somewhat trustworthy you answer "We are friends". He didn't like the answer at all, companionship with the two was always bound to some trouble and anyone who is slightly involved with the brother's lives must have some kind of connection to the great plan of his father, and maybe it wasn't a coincidence that you were already linked into his path. There is just one thing that bugs him when he thinks about it: the danger. His life as a warrior had taught him many things and one of them is that the future he desired so much, the future with you, his true vessel Dean, and his father back in his life was something he would probably not get so easily. But there must be a reason why you suddenly popped up out of nowhere even though you were there the whole time, right under his nose.

After Sam's rough explanation of why you were involved with them, meaning trying to answer all of Michaels's annoying and creepy questions such as: Where have you met each other? What did you say to him? Why did you think it would be a good idea to even talk to them? Is your friendship on a physical contact basis? Why would you choose this kind of life when you could be…Safe? And even after answering all of them, surely not without raising Sam's suspicion on the archangel's sudden extreme interest in you, he was still convinced that it was his duty to make sure that not one hair would be plugged from your pretty little head.

Later on, he watched you silently as you laid the lilac potion that would help them in their next hunt, on the table with the instruction written neatly on a medium-sized paper. Your delicate hands wrapped around the pen as you added some notes to it and handed them to Michael. He inspected your handwriting, cursive, hard to read yet there was an organized aspect of it, as if you had written the words countless times over and over. "I will keep it safe" the blue feathered angel replied. As you were about to leave he added a few words "Cora, I want to know where I could find you. For the potions". Smooth. Indeed smooth. Of course, he knew where you lived and where he could find you but that doesn't mean he will risk you getting skeptical of his behavior if he starts appearing out of nowhere before your door. You should feel like it was your doing, free will, that was what every human wanted and even if it isn't what he knew is true, it doesn't mean he will destroy your dream. If you wanted it. He will give it to you.

"Here" you handed him a small teleportation rune drawn on a paper. He nodded, knowing that he would never use it but keep it close. One last smile was what you flashed him before disappearing before his eyes once again. He noticed that you have a habit of running away from him. That must be changed.

[holylulusworld]

Tight Places - Kinktober 19

Summary: Stuck in a cramped space with Sam again, you end up enjoying his company...

Square 3 filled for @samwinchesterbingo​​​​​​: Enemies to lovers

Square 22 filled for @spnkinkbingo (expired): Knife play

Square 8 filled for @spnkinkbingo​​: Period Sex

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Soulless!Sam x fem!Reader

Characters: Dean Winchester

Kink: Claustrophilia

Warnings:language, Soulless!Sam being an ass, mentions of anal sex (nothing happens), smut, unprotected sex, groping, period sex, knife play, mentions of

Word Count: 1,2 k

2021 SPN KINK BINGO masterlist (expired but ongoing)

2022 SPN KINK BINGO masterlist

Sam Winchester Bingo masterlist

Kinktober 2022

<< Part 1 - Cramped

“Sam, no! What the fuck! How did we end up in a fucking wardrobe?” you can’t believe you agreed to join the annoying soulless hunter on yet another hunt.

After your mishap a few months ago, you swore to yourself to stay away from Sam Winchester. No such luck.

You ended up in the same town, investigating the same mysterious death once again. Dean suggested joining forces and you just couldn’t say no to the hunter. He saved your ass more than once and is all too happy to have someone with an intact moral compass around.

“We have to hide again,” he purrs in your ear. You can hear the smirk in his voice and just know, he dragged you inside the wardrobe on purpose. “Dean got this.”

“I’m going to help your brother. Don’t believe for a second that what happened months ago will happen again, Winchester,” you grumble. “I told you last time it was the last time.”

“Sure,” he huffs in your ear as his hands already move toward your chest to shamelessly grope your tits. “You’re wearing a dress revealing your ass, legs, and tits for nothing. You want to get fucked.”

You lick your lips. It’s the second time you are in a cramped space with Sam. If only he pushes you a little further, you are going to give in once again.

“I know how much you love ending up in tight space with me,” he bites your ear shell. “How about you tell me what you want, and I give it to you Y/N.”

Sam presses his body to yours, slowly grinding into you. “Sam. Stop.”

“Why would I do such a thing, sweet little thing?” he moves one arm around your waist to hold you close to his hard body. “Admit your sins, Y/N. I know you want to.”

“I fucked a cold-hearted and annoying bastard some months ago. That’s all I have to admit.”

“You enjoyed every second.”

“Yeah. As it only lasted for like sixty seconds.”

“You’re a little bitch.”

You try to wiggle out of his grip but it’s no use. Sam is so much stronger than you, and then there is his arm wrapped around your body.

“You’re an asshole, so we are even.”

“How about I make things easier for you?” he nuzzles his cheek against yours. “I’ll leave you no other choice but to give in.” You feel the cool metal before you can even say something in return. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

Sam slides the dull side of his knife over your breasts and teases your nipples. He takes his time on his way down your body; drawing patterns into your skin with the dull side of his knife.

“Sam, what are you doing?” He carefully slides it over your thigh, riding up your dress. “I asked you a question.”

“I’ll take good care of your pussy again, Y/N,” you whimper as he kicks your legs apart. “You better don’t move now. It would be a shame if I draw blood tonight.”

“Blood?” there is an edge in your voice when Sam slowly cuts your dress and bra open at the same time. Your breasts spill out, leaving your plush flesh unprotected. “Sam.”

“Be good now, kitten,” he cuts through your dress, ruining it once and for all. “Take the dress off.”

“Sam, we can’t. We are still on a hunt.”

“I said,” he rips the remnants of your dress down your body and cuts your panties off within the blink of an eye, “be good.”

You’re shaking in both, anger, and anticipation. You’d like to slap Sam’s face or shoot his brains out. But the need and your kink won’t let you do such a thing.

You allow Sam to twirl you around to reveal your breasts and face to the hunter.

“Beautiful and all mine.”

“Sam, we shouldn’t…this is wrong,” you open your arms and let Sam lift you off of your feet. He easily holds you against the wall of the wardrobe as you fumble his pants open and shove them down his long legs.

“You’re a little eager for someone who doesn’t want to get fucked,” he smirks darkly, but you ignore his cockiness or the fact that you should hate him.

“Shut up. Don’t ruin it,” you bend your body a little to stroke Sam a few times. He’s already rock-hard and doesn’t need much encouragement. “Fuck me. And then leave me alone.”

“Oh, I will fuck you.”

“I should warn you,” he ignores you, and the fact that you slap his chest to get his attention. “Sam, I think my period just started.”

It’s like you’re not even there. Sam simply wraps your legs around his waistline and shoves himself inside your body without acknowledging your protest.

He grunts, hips jerking a few times as you claw at his shoulders. “SAM!”

“Do you think I care about a little blood?” he snickers as you wiggle your hips to get a little bit more friction. “I can fuck you now and make you cum, or, I’ll leave you here. Naked and without an orgasm. I can easily find someone else to fuck.”

“You’re such an asshol-“ Sam presses his lips to yours, silencing your protests once again as he starts to roll his hips.

“You will shut your mouth and take my cock, Y/N,” he purrs with every thrust. Your hips move on their own, to meet Sam’s thrusts. “Good girl.” He ruts into you. “Such a good girl when you full of cock.”

“I hate you so much.”

“No, you love me,” you whine as he grips your ass with his large hands to move you up and down his cock. You’re like a ragdoll in his hands; helpless and small. “You love fucking me too. I saw the way you looked at the old me. It’s the same hunger in your eyes now.”

Sam hides his face in your neck, panting and groaning as you try not to think about his former self.

You miss the smart and soft Sam. But you can’t deny it. This version knows how to push all your buttons.

“Fuck.”

You dig your nails deep into his shoulders.

“Take it. Shut up and take me,” he growls in your neck. Sam speeds up again, fucking up into you at a maddening pace. “I’m going to fill you up with so much cum your period stops.”

You laugh.

“Later, I’ll fuck your mouth.”

“Nghh…” your mind is clouded by lust and the approaching high. The coil in your belly tightens, and you can only close your eyes and let Sam have his way with your body once again.

“Maybe you’ll let me fuck that upright ass too, huh? I bet you never let that loser you called your boyfriend fuck your ass. Let me fuck it and you’ll cum so hard you see stars…”

“I-“ you cum all over his cock, making an odd noise. “No.”

“We will talk about your ass later. Now let me fill you up,” he chuckles darkly. “Fuck…fuck…fuck…”

“Just like that. Taking me like a good girl,” you groan as Sam rewatches the video he took of you and him months ago again. “Fuck yourself harder on my cock.”

“Can you stop this?”

You throw a pillow at Sam. “Please.”

“If you come over here,” he smirks darkly, “I will stop. And,” he pushes the covers off his body to reveal he’s stark naked, “if you stick around, I’ll delete the video.”

“Scouts honor?” you ask.

“Scout's honor,” Sam points at his cock. “Come here and ride it like a good girl…”

You will stick around to help Dean get Sam’s soul back. If you get laid once in a while…so be it…

Part 3

Tags in reblog.

[spnsabrielbang2023]

SPN Sabriel Bang 2023 Masterlist

Thanks for accompanying us on this wild ride, all! Here's the masterlist for this year's submissions.

You can also fill out this form to get on the mailing list for next year!

1. broken dreams

Author: @gay-destiel Artist: @golby-moon

when gabriel is rescued from hell, his wings are torn. to heal them, they need ingredients, one of which is closely guarded by a prince of hell. belial. gabe grapples with trauma while sam does his best to protect him.

Read on Ao3 | Reblog the Tumblr post

Check out the art by Golby!

2. The Look In Your Eyes

Author: @archangelgabriellives Artists: @sagee-stuffs, @i-love-you-but-in-spanish

A strange new painting finds its way to the Singer Art Museum, and Sam Winchester feels a strange connection to it. Who is the man in the painting with the golden eyes, and who else knows that its been found?

Read on Ao3 | Reblog the Tumblr post

Art by Sage

Art by Kitsy

3. Lucifer of the Opera

Author: @ladyknightskye Artists: @sagee-stuffs, @mellow-memuries

Annoyed with his brother, Gabriel asks God to help him weave a prank for his older brother. Lucifer must act out the story of The Phantom of the Opera in order to escape his prison in the basement of a theater. But when Sam and Dean show up - and Dean is caught up in the spell on Lucifer - Gabriel ends up enlisting Sam's help in trying to mitigate the disaster looming on the horizon.

Read on Ao3 | Reblog the Tumblr post

Art by Muri

Art by Sage

4. Lost in Translation

Author: @leatafandom Artist: @lucathepanman

When Sam’s churning soul was jammed back into his body after over a thousand years of being incorporeal, the wall of Death's design had never stood a chance against the changes Sam's soul had undergone to survive the Cage. Upon waking, Sam struggles with being able to cope with the drastic change from being ethereal to being part of the physical world and the strangers he is greeted with. His memories of the human world were absent upon waking within his body. Sam doesn't know how he had ever been part of the physical world, nor how to carve out a spot within it like the youngest archangel had managed to. His empowered soul was lost without the memories of his human life, and he was unsure who to turn to in a world full of strangers that tried to imprison him.

Read on Ao3 | Reblog the Tumblr post

Check out the art by Lucas!

5. Bound

Author: @aayo-whatt Artist: @dustghoul

Gabriel chuckles, genuinely smiling for the first time in an age, "Sam, the only thing you've done is make me fall head over heels for you. And I finally thought I should tell you how far I've fallen."

Read on Ao3 | Reblog the Tumblr post

Check out the art by Angel!

6. Dante's Peak

Author: @cheerfulripley Artist: @rezal-art

Sam is a Volcanologist and Gabriel is the mayor of the town who's idyllic little home changes from heaven to hell overnight when the dormant Volcano next door wakes up!

Read on Ao3 | Reblog the Tumblr post

Check out the art by Rezal!

7.

Author: @nonbinary-witch-sam Artist: @as-lost-as-sams-shoe

The moment the binds went loose, Sam was up, rushing to his lover's body. He was crying, begging Gabriel to wake up, for this all to be a nightmare or a trick. but, he didn't wake up. Gabriel was dead. Sam slowly lifted his head, looking at Lucifer with grief-stricken fury as the surviving archangel went to walk away. "I will kill you before I ever say yes." he vowed, "you will never fight Michael. you will never possess me. I will string up your lifeless body like a puppet and make an example out of you, Lucifer." Gabriel, the real Gabriel, stood quietly behind one of the walls, listening intently to his lover swearing revenge as he tucked his ring into his pocket with a solemn expression.  "I'm sorry, Sam." He whispered before vanishing.

Read on Ao3 | Reblog the Tumblr post

Check out the art by Callion!

8. Atlas Shattered

Author: mukur0 Artist: @katfixation

After spending humanity's entire history stacking his own hand, Gabriel just can't win. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, too wounded to move faster than his own feet can carry him and too scared to start up where he and Sam had left off before that night at the Elysian Fields hotel, you'd think he'd welcome the chance to hide out in a gross motel room rather than face whatever might be stalking a downed archangel. Too bad for him, he'd almost prefer it over being caught in close quarters with a Winchester who just fucking wants to talk.

Read on Ao3

Check out the art by Kat!

9. The Tales Grow Taller On Down The Line

Author: @ladylilithprime Artist: @alexiescherryslurpy

When Bobby Singer got the call from Dean Winchester - "This case is weird even for us and Sam's been compromised, we need help!" - he had expected the hunt to be unusual but still fairly straightforward. Being introduced to Loki, the Norse god of mischief and patron of tricksters, and being told the pagan was Sam's soulmate? Definitely not so straightforward!

Read on Ao3 | Reblog the Tumblr post

Check out the art by Slurpyart!

10. Carry On (Nothing Equals the Splendour)

Author: @hobbyistauthor Artist: @bakh-meliorism

The New God decides to be hands-on just one last time: there's a specific Winchester—still alive, always in grief—and one particular lost Archangel—whose graveyard didn't fight much to keep him dead—that could really use one of his miracles. To Sam, healing and hope looks like candy in every room of the Bunker and eyes like sunbeams-through-whiskey. To Gabriel, being Graceless yet still wanted gives him time to discover who he is, and who he wants to be.

Read on Ao3 | Reblog the Tumblr post

Check out the art by Bakh!

Bonus art by the author

11. The Trickster Fic

Author: @deadsuburbia Artist: @raaflingdraws

After being stabbed by his brother, Gabriel makes a last-ditch attempt to play a trick on Death itself. He reaches out to Sam Winchester, the only person who would ever look his way after his lifetime of trickery, and begs for help. Taking pity on the angel who played a God, Sam beams himself directly into Gabriel’s mind. The Trickster Fic retells the story of Gabriel from his own perspective: why he turned out the way that he did in his lifetime that spanned over a thousand years. In his very last moments, Gabriel is forced to come face-to-face with the consequences of his running, his cowardice, his own nihlism. Sam has to ask the question: can Gabriel be saved?

Read on Ao3!

Check out the art by Raafling!

[eisforeidolon]

Alrighty- Whaddya think of this?

I’ve been rewatching the show and am now at season 8. I shake my head at all the known moments in the show that hellers claim are canon ship bs, because you’d have to be stretch Armstrong to reach that far..

But something did nag me. There were times that Cas WAS the emotional support for Dean where I really thought it should have been Sam conversing with him. For the majority of the series we saw Dean be the caretaker, emotional support etc for Sam, and it never really came from anyone else- lest he was being manipulated by some evil person. However there were many times where that wasn’t reciprocated on screen. Cas would almost stand in for Sam when Dean needed someone, showed Dean a lot of compassion. (Please believe I’m being objective and not a stan in hiding). I think THAT dynamic confused people. Why didn’t they have Sam having those convos with Dean more? I mean, narratively I understand the need for Cas to move the plot forward with his specific role, but so many times it was an angsty Dean who I think NEEDED his BROTHER more than a convo with Cas. Now there are people who just wanted to sexualize Jensen/Dean and couldn’t possibly be linked the wincest as their puritan sensibilities just wouldn’t allow them. But OTHER fans seemed to have latched on to the dynamic of Dean and Cas because they saw Dean have emotional moments with him.

Now during my rewatch it pissed me off, because I realized that the writers were making some conscious choices to have Sam NOT fill that role for Dean. Like it seemed like they went out of their way at times to make Sam seem more indifferent to Dean. This is why- wildly unpopular opinion here- I didn’t like Sera Gamble! I think she isolated Sam away from Dean and had Cas fill in for Sam. That codependent brother thing I LIVE FOR, was kinda washed out during her seasons (in my opinion), but more so from one side. I think she didn’t really like Dean, period, but whereas I know Sam fans LOVE Gamble, I think she mischaracterized Sam a lot.

In my mind, Sam is just as in love with Dean as Dean is with him (whether that be wincest or brotherly is up to your interpretation). You remember when Rowena started really having a relationship with Sam? And then Jack, too? That was really the first time we’ve seen Sam have that type of side character interaction depth. It’s why Sam fans love those two characters because they related to Sam! Well, isn’t that why Dean fans loved Cas, too?

I dunno I’m ranting and probably make no sense, but I was definitely annoyed with the writers in quite a bit if my rewatch during seasons 4-7 because it seemed such a purposeful choice to NOT show Sam being for Dean what they chose to show Cas being. I think knot blurred the lines and did such a disservice to Sam. Ironically, I think Carver rectified this a lot! Even with the angst and separation, Carver’s seasons demonstrably showed the codependency and intense brotherly love. I prefer seasons 1-3 and then all of Carver’s seasons!

I couldn't remember any instances of Dean leaning on Castiel when there wasn't some obvious reason it wasn't a conversation with Sam. So I went through season by season, and ultimately, I think you have to look at what the plot arc between the brothers is. As I've said before, the one thing that I actually like about Dabb as a showrunner is finally dropping the constant circling back to brother conflict drama that, to me at least, felt more and more artificial. Even if we're talking about seasons 4-7, we have to start at the beginning, because I think the first three seasons are pointedly bringing the brothers back together closer than ever in preparation for all the apocalypse shenanigans to attempt to tear them apart.

In terms of Dean opening up, specifically, consider what happens in those seasons between them from Dean's perspective.

In season four, he comes back from hell traumatized only to realize Sam has been lying to him about using his powers and working with Ruby. When he asks Sam to explain because he's scared of the powers, Sam refuses to talk about it and says he wouldn't understand (4x04). So how can it be a surprise that when he wants to talk in the next episode, it's Jamie the bartender he chooses instead? Is it really strange he basically mirrors what Sam said about Dean not being able to understand when Sam confronts him about what Uriel said regarding him remembering hell (4x08)? Castiel (4x07) and Anna (4x10) conversing with Dean are more about their own fears and insecurities more than Dean's. When Dean does finally open up and is ready to actually talk about what happened in hell, it is to Sam (4x11). Except, it's pretty soon after that (4x14) where Sam throws it back in his face under the influence of the siren, calling him a weak, whiny burden who is just holding Sam back. Can it really be a surprise then that, again, next time Dean opens up it's to Tessa (4x15)? And then, when the doubts are basically exactly what Sam said, i.e. that the apocalypse really is too big for him to deal with and he is scared, he says it to Castiel instead (4x16)? Which I think is only validated to Dean when Sam says the same kind of thing all over again without the siren's influence when they fight in 4x21. They're in conflict and being torn in opposite directions, which is kind of the point. Actually communicating – if they both weren't too stubborn to do it – would basically halt season 4's entire plot in its tracks.

Without making this post five miles long, those kinds of things happen again and again in 5-7, too. Sam is literally not there to talk to when he leaves at the beginning of the season, and they don't get back together because they've actually sorted out all the shit between them from the previous events, but because Sam has realized he can't get out and Dean doesn't trust that Sam will continue to say no to Lucifer if they're apart. So when Dean opens up, it's to his hallucination of a therapist instead of Sam. Blow after blow follows thereafter. What they see of Sam's heaven being an entire absence of Dean. Everyone leaving Dean to grieve at Lisa's for a year knowing Sam is back(ish) the whole time. Soulless!Sam's actions, which (as unfair as it might be) Dean clearly had trouble separating out from regular Sam's. Sam's sanity hanging on by a wall, then being plagued by Hallucifer. Similar big conflicts and obstacles to frank conversation continue on into seasons 8 and 9, too.

I think you can fairly go fifty layers deep into what's going on in both of their heads in any of those instances and see where they're coming from, but Dean isn't going to be doing that as the one living it. From his perspective? There are a lot of reasons to not open up to Sam because of what's going on in their lives and how they each feel about it. So sometimes he does open up to others – which includes Castiel.

I definitely remember way back when I was a multishipper that a lot of D/C shippers said they started shipping the ship because Castiel didn't have that fraught history with Dean that Sam does with all the conflicts and misunderstandings. That's fine (although IMO it hardly held true for very long). However, to me it seems like Dean is just as likely to turn to a stranger (or the hallucination of one) as he is to turn to Castiel instead of Sam, so I don't really see it as some huge thing in the canon that really justifies thinking the ship is anything but certain fans over-investing in what they particularly like. I also think that Sam was just less and less likely to open up to anyone at all as the series went on – but when he does, it was also often with Castiel or Jody or Charlie or Rowena instead of Dean. Because the season conflict didn't rely on them being unable to communicate effectively with those other characters and the judgement of those other characters couldn't do as much damage if it was negative.

None of that even gets into the whole other issue of the underlying dynamics carried over from their childhood which also plays into things. Where Dean still sees his primary purpose as protecting Sam as his little brother rather than always seeing him as a true partner. Where he has self-worth and abandonment issues that make him unable to understand why Sam would value him and not be able to just get over his death. Where Sam is not only all too aware that Dean doesn't value himself and gets frustrated with that? But has spent so long fighting against what everyone else wants from him that he still sometimes treats Dean as a substitute for authority instead of a partner and pushes back at any disagreement with his (not always as) brilliant (as he thinks) plans as “bossing him around”? Where he also gets very agitated whenever Dean is not okay because he needs Dean to be okay to the point he insistently tries to fix it by making Dean talk when Dean isn't ready to. In short, they both have huge underlying issues that skew how they see each other and they're both stubborn as hell.

Then when you add on top of that how the writers had such a tendency to revolve the action arcs around Sam and the emotional ones around Dean as the viewpoint character that Sam's emotions and thoughts often seem like a mysterious locked box through large parts of the series? I do get why some fans can read that as Sam being indifferent to Dean, but I don't think that's the underlying intention or the case. Because of that focus choice, to a large extent we only see how badly Sam needs Dean when there's a threat of Dean not being there or Dean is taken away – but I would argue that we do really see it then. From not caring about Marshall Hall to wanting to try Doc Benton's solution to trying to suicide by demon to initially allowing himself to be manipulated by Ruby to taking on his Cage memories to the Rowena and Oskar debacle to how his montage life was entirely blurry except for his son and his grief over Dean.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

Oh, how I hate Destiel, let me count the ways

Let me preface my rant by noting that I know none of these ideas are new, but I just have to get it off my chest because it’s annoying me today. (I may delete this later, but I need to say it somewhere for now.)

1) The hardcore shippers are insufferable and entitled. They also act like shipping two fictional characters is activism and throw around "homophobe" at anyone who doesn’t love their ship. It’s gross.

2) Dean and Castiel claim to be best friends while treating each other like crap a lot of the time. Cass in particular lies to and goes behind Dean's back often, while Dean is often borderline hostile with Castiel.

3) Castiel is in a stolen body. He forced Jimmy to agree to be possessed so his daughter wouldn’t have to be his vessel. So, in early, days there is no consent here. Later, Castiel is basically a parasite living off of a dead body.

4) Dean literally says Cass is like a brother to him, thus he’s not attracted to him. (He also says Castiel is like a talking dog and a baby in a trench coat. Not sexy.)

5) Dean is straight. No matter how much "bi lighting" Dean stands in or how much cake he eats, his own words and actions show he is not attracted to men.

6) Castiel broke Sam's hell wall, making him go insane and almost killing him in the long-run, just to distract and worry Dean, and I will never get over it. He doesn’t deserve Dean after doing this. And he doesn’t deserve to be in the same "family group" as Sam.

7) Angels are generally portrayed as lacking the depth of emotion that humans have, or a consistent sexual drive when they have their grace. Thus, I don’t believe he even has the capacity to be "in love" with or "attracted to" Dean.

8) Castiel takes very little responsibility for his own actions and often blames Sam for things that are partially, or entirely, his own fault. (Apocalypse #1, letting Lucifer out of the cage, etc.) This isn’t strictly ship-related but it makes me dislike him as a character and want him around both brothers less.

9) Almost every "subtext" clue that destiel shippers claim "proves" their ship has a corresponding, or greater, equivalent that would support Wincest. In short, if one thinks Destiel is real because of tiny little clues (despite Dean being straight) then they can’t rightly say Wincest doesn’t exist in the show because there is way more "subtext," and text, to support it (despite the brothers being … brothers).

10) Sam and Dean's insane relationship renders all ships outside of them pointless. I don’t ship Wincest, but it also doesn’t really bug me because they are fictional characters. I love the show strictly FOR the brothers" relationship. They love each other more than anyone else, and that what makes the show compelling.

Bonus: