#sakura in absolute fury: SEE????????

[littencloud9]

i think sakura would be suonirei’s biggest hater. don’t get him wrong he loves them both so much but on the pure basis that suo is an asshole he’d grab nirei by the shoulders and go really??? THIS guy??? and nirei’s like yeah! ^^

[notsofastwawa]

Not me absolutely hating most of the Boruto part 2 designs. They look like a first draft...Sumire, ChoCho and Kawaki outfits are the absolute worst out of the bunch. (Especially Sumire's, she downgraded) Like damn...wtf happened??? Also, their designs are boring 😴

(I NEED to redesign Sumire and ChoCho's outfits, but for right now it's Sarada's turn!!)

My first mistake was getting my hopes up because that first teaser of her design. I genuinely loved her short hair and the Haruno choker with the Uchiha earrings! Then I saw her official design some days ago...it's classic Ikemoto sexualizing Sarada 🙄

Why is she wearing 10 inch heels??? As a ninja??? Did he have no one else to run these designs past??? This was approved???

So I had to do two iterations of Sarada's design because the rage was too consuming.

I wanted to use the teaser image as a jumping off point. So I gave Sarada a black jumpsuit with red accents. She retools Sakura's Shippuden skirt (because I love the idea of Sarada using her mom's old clothes) She gets to keep her jacket and leg warmers because I actually like them.

This one I wanted to have more Sasuke influences, like his high collar and reference to Sasuke's own black jumpsuit from the back half of the chunnin exams. Sarada reuses Sakura's Shippuden skirt for elbow and knee pads. She still has the Uchiha earrings and Haruno choker (but I forgot to draw them) I think she would wear colored eyeliner (maybe green to match her mom's eyes 🤔)

The last time I've felt so strongly about poor design was Power Rangers Cosmic Fury. Yes, I am really excited to see it, but those suit designs are so UGLY!!

[rankine78]

Eternal Sacrifice: The Bloom and the Storm

The Raiden Shogun, Ei, gazes across the mist-shrouded plains of Seirai Island, her mind as tempestuous as the Electro storms she commands. Centuries of loss—her sister Makoto, her friends in the Cataclysm—have carved her heart into a fortress. Eternity, she believes, which is the only solace: a frozen moment where Inazuma never changes, never bleeds, never dies. Yet Yae Miko, her last tether to the past, lingers like a sakura petal caught in the wind—beautiful, transient, and increasingly defiant.  

Inazuma thrives under the Shogun’s rigid peace, but whispers of dissent fester. The resistance, though quelled years prior, simmers anew as the Vision Hunt Decree’s scars ache. Yae Miko, the sly and compassionate Guuji, watches from her shrine. She sees the suffering Ei ignores—everything...the stifled dreams, the orphans of war—and begins to act in secret. She shelters rebels, manipulates the Shogunate’s officials, and plants seeds of doubt about Ei’s ideals.  

Ei, sensing instability in her realm, investigates. When she discovers Yae’s treachery, her wrath shakes the heavens. Confronting Yae beneath the Sacred Sakura, their bond fractures:  

“You would undermine my eternity for mortals’ fleeting whims?” Ei’s voice cracks, a storm barely contained.  

“No, Ei. I’d save you from becoming a monument to your own grief,” Yae replies, her usual smirk replaced by sorrow.  

Flashbacks weave through the narrative—Ei and Yae as young warriors laughing under cherry blossoms, Yae comforting Ei after Makoto’s death, their hands brushing as they rebuilt Inazuma. These memories clash with the present: Ei’s cold mechanical decrees, Yae’s clandestine meetings with rebels.  

Yae’s defiance crescendos when she publicly denounces the Shogunate’s policies, rallying the people to embrace change. Ei, interpreting this as a threat to Inazuma’s stasis, issues a fatal ultimatum: “Relent, or face divine punishment.”  

Yae’s answer is a bittersweet smile: “You’ve already punished yourself enough, my old friend.”

The skies above the Grand Narukami Shrine churn with violet lightning as Ei and Yae stand amid a tempest of clashing ideals. Ei’s Musou no Hitotachi crackles with the anguish of centuries, while Yae’s foxfire burns a gentler, stubborn gold. Their battle is not one of hatred, but of desperate love—Ei fighting to preserve the fragile stasis she believes protects Inazuma, Yae fighting to free Ei from the prison of her own sorrow.  

Yae does not strike to kill. Instead, she weaves illusions of their shared past: Makoto’s laughter, the warmth of shared tea under the sakura, the night Ei vowed to become Inazuma’s "eternal" protector. Each memory softens Ei’s fury, her blade faltering. “Stop this, Miko!” Ei pleads, her voice raw. “You cannot… you cannot ask me to let go.”  

But Yae’s final illusion is of a future: Ei, alone in her Plane of Euthymia, the world outside crumbling into stagnation. “This is your eternity,” Yae whispers. A hollow throne. A silent storm.  

Enraged, Ei lunges—but the Shogun puppet, programmed to eliminate threats to eternity, seizes control. Ei’s consciousness is shoved aside as the puppet’s blade pierces Yae’s chest. The Guuji collapses, her blood staining the shrine’s sacred stones. As the puppet withdraws, Ei scream tears through the heavens, shattering the storm. She cradles Yae, whose fading smile is both apology and absolution. “Now… you’re free to choose, Ei. Not as a god… but as yourself.”  

Yae’s funeral is a quiet affair. Ei buries her beneath the Sacred Sakura, the tree bursting into unprecedented bloom—petals as pink as Yae’s hair cascading across Inazuma. The people whisper that the Guuji has become part of the land itself, her laughter carried on the wind.  

Ei dismantles the puppet. For the first time in centuries, she rules Inazuma not from the shadows, but openly, her grief etched into every decree. The Vision Hunt Decree is repealed. The Tri-Commission is restructured to heed the people’s voices. Yet Ei’s eyes linger on the sakura, her solitude a mantle she no longer hides.  

One twilight, a kitsune pup with familiar mischievous eyes appears at Tenshukaku. Ei, sensing a flicker of her essence within it, kneels. The pup nips her finger, then curls into her lap. “You… always did hate goodbyes,” Ei murmurs, a fragile smile breaking through.  

In her Plane of Euthymia, Ei now meditates not on eternity, but on transience. She tends to the sakura, prunes its branches, and watches as new buds form. “To love something… is to accept it will change,” she tells the wind. “Even you taught me that, Miko.”  

Years later, when a human child asks the Shogun what “eternity” means, Ei pauses. “It is… a moment. A single, perfect moment you carry with you, even as the world moves on.” She touches the tiny kitsune nestled in her sleeve. “And the courage to let it go.” 

[votestaynight2]

13th Day - LAST TALK (Scene 1, Attempt 2)

Alright! So apparently we need to just be totally down with removing the Shroud. That gives us the following changes:

We get the following interlude in day 12:

Interlude 12-1

"――――Well." She leaves the two of them and comes out into the yard. "What's going on, Sakura? Weren't you resting in your room since you're sick?" Tohsaka Rin coldly regards the girl before her.

"………" Matou Sakura looks down uneasily. "――――――――" "――――――――" There are no words between them. Rin mercilessly condemns the outsider, Sakura, who is at a loss for words, feeling beholden and inferior.

"Sakura. If you're here because you're worried about Emiya-kun, go back. I'll pretend I didn't see you." "……!" Sakura trembles a bit. Her older sister is bitter. She corners Sakura, even when she knows of her uneasiness.

"No, Nee-san. I just…" Pushing her resolve, Sakura looks at her ideal, her older sister. But… "You don't need to explain. I'm telling you to go back to your room. I'm not going to let you in the dojo, no matter what you tell me." Rin cuts off the girl's utmost resistance.

"Why can't I go in?" "Do I really need to spell it out? You're our enemy when we're acting as Masters. Look, Sakura. Even if you and Rider are just staying in the house without fighting, it doesn't change the fact that you're under Zouken's control. There's no way we can train in front of such a person."

"――――――――" Faced with the cold words, Sakura can only stand there. Tohsaka Rin is serious. Unlike Shirou, her sister is worrying about when she might fall under Zouken's sway and become their enemy. …No. Rin probably assumes they will end up as enemies.

"……" She bites her lip. But she can't talk back. As Rin says, Sakura can fall into Zouken's hands at any time. Her body is getting worse every day, and her memory is becoming more vague. Her only respite came when she slept, but now she's begun having nightmares. …It'll be no surprise if she goes crazy at any time.

"That's right. Walking around when you have no magical energy only bothers us. You don't know when you might collapse. Well, I'm sure you won't collapse right now since you've settled down, but Emiya-kun will worry if you push yourself. …He'd be even more cornered if that happens. That's not what you want, right?"

"……" Rin is absolutely right. Sakura drops her gaze further, biting her lip helplessly.

"Do you understand? Then get going. I'll go get you at noon, so rest until then." She nods. Rin turns her back to her younger sister. As if to tell her… …That she's just a nuisance.

"H-Hold on, Nee-san…!" "What? You still have something to say?" "Yes. I understand your point. I'll go back to my room. …But please tell me. What are you going to have Senpai do? You know he can't fight anymore, right? But you're seeing him, and what more are you going to make him do…!?"

"――――――――" She stops before leaving. Matou Sakura's appeal is born of desperation. A fury of emotion that the quiet girl has never shown. Though surprised, Rin answers her with the same coldness as before.

"I'm teaching him magic. We can't beat Saber, Zouken, or the black shadow as we are right now. So I'm going to have Shirou draw magic from Archer's arm. That arm is filled with his experience, and that experience will flow continuously into Shirou if we loosen the Shroud, forcing Shirou to level up."

"Wha――――" As a magus of the Matou, Sakura knows that this is a reckless plan. What her sister intends to do is just torture. It's like pouring a hundred units of fuel into a container called Emiya Shirou that can only hold ten. Even if ten thousand units are poured, the excess will overflow, and the container will only hold ten.

But that will only be painful. Emiya Shirou will gain from less than a tenth of the agony he goes through. And most of all―――a person with a normal mind will never be able to endure it. If you set a mud puppet against a tidal wave, the puppet will be washed away. That's what loosening the Shroud means――――

"That's absurd! Senpai's body won't last if you do such a thing…! No, not only that! Senpai trusts you, Nee-san. That's why he's accepting your reckless plan. I'm sure he'll take that cloth off in the end if you tell him…!"

"――――Sakura." Sakura does not look down. She stares straight at her sister.

To that… "…You're right. But, Sakura. He would take the Shroud off himself even if I don't tell him to. I realized it when I was talking to him earlier. ……Honestly. In the end, he'll take it off like it's nothing, no matter how strongly I warn him." Tohsaka replies in a powerless voice.

"Eh… Nee-san?" "Yes. I know that, so I had to suggest a plan that wouldn't make him take it off. If he knows we can manage without having him take the Shroud off, he won't do it unless it's a last resort. So my role is to make him create a weapon within set limitations. I'll have him rest after that. I'll even confine him, keeping him out of combat until the Holy Grail War is over."

"――――――――" She's telling the truth. Tohsaka Rin is showing as much consideration as she can. …But that is her mind as Tohsaka Rin. As the successor of an old family lineage, Sakura knows the other side of Rin.

"Nee-san. I understand that you're concerned for Senpai's safety. But that's it. If you find out that you cannot beat Grandfather with the current method, you will end up using him. You're a magus of Tohsaka. You will use Senpai as a tool to win… to protect the law of magi."

They are not questions, but statements of fact. The Tohsaka heir closes her eyes and… "――――Yes. If our current method fails, and if Zouken and the shadow continue their rampage―――I'll have Shirou use Archer's arm. It's only natural if his life is the only thing at stake." …She makes a declaration with her head held high.

"…That's selfish of you. Senpai never wanted the Holy Grail. He became a Master by chance. So it's wrong to force him to keep fighting." "――――Hmph. It seems you misunderstand, Sakura."

"Look. I'm not forcing him, and even if that's true, Shirou has no right to object. His life was saved because I gave him my Archer's arm. But he hasn't tried to cut it off yet. That means his life is mine now. He's my Archer as long as he doesn't get rid of his arm."

"Do you get it? Shirou is my familiar until this war ends. There's no reason for you to butt in. As long as he wants to fight, I'm going to lend him my powers, and I'm going to borrow his power." "……!" She cannot say anything. The girl cannot say anything back to her sister, who is full of intimidating confidence.

"―――Is that all? Then go back to your room. Didn't I tell you you're just being a distraction?" Tohsaka Rin turns around and heads to the dojo. The girl watches it as if it's a distant scene.

…The familiar yard is vast. There is nothing around, and it feels like nothing is within reach. In that artificial solitude… "―――I see. So you're taking Senpai as well, Nee-san?" …The girl murmurs something without emotion.

End of Interlude

Then it continues to day 13, and here is how it continues, after accepting Assassin's offer:

It's a trap. It's obviously a trap. But it's true that I might never have another chance to talk with Zouken one-on-one.

…And I don't really have a choice. Even if it's a trap, I have to go see him and have him remove Sakura's crest worm.

"…All right. Zouken wants to talk to me, huh?" "―――A wise decision. Let us make haste. Even I cannot deceive Rider's eyes for too long. The magus will change his mind if someone else realizes we're having this conversation." "……Hah. So it's a secret meeting for my ears only, huh?"

…There's no reply. His work must be done now that I've agreed. Before I know it, Assassin has vanished.

―――I sneak out of my house to head to the Matou household. The sky is filled with clouds. Maybe it's because of the dark sky, but the house is filled with an ominous air.

I go inside without ringing the doorbell. …It's been a year since I last came here. I go through the hallway following my faint memory and head to the living room.

"Oh. You came earlier than I thought, Emiya's successor." "――――――――" Zouken is the only one here. I don't see Assassin or black Saber. …It seems he really does want to talk with me.

"Hm? Oh, you don't even want to exchange greetings with me? My, you must hate me." I feel no hostility from Zouken. …In short, he's taking me lightly. His composure is self-evident, confident in his ability to kill me at any time.

"Well. You must have something to talk about as well, since you've accepted my invitation. Sit down. It must not be something to discuss standing up." "――――No way. Standing up is just fine for what we have to say."

…I suppress the urge to jump at him and punch him, and glare at him as if it could kill him. Unlike Zouken, I can't hide my anger. I won't let my guard down against the guy who changed Sakura's body.

"Zouken. If this is a discussion, I only have one thing to say. Release Sakura right now." That's the only business I have here. I'll just fight if Zouken refuses. I'll kill this monster before anything can happen, even if he calls for Assassin and Saber.

"Release Sakura, eh? …Hm, I would like to, but I'm afraid I cannot do anything." ―――Then. The old magus before me speaks in disappointed tones.

"――――What?" "She cannot be saved no matter what I do, as it has grown too much. Sakura is already functioning as a Holy Grail. She will die even if I remove the crest worm right now."

Hold on. Holy Grail? Sakura is functioning as a Holy Grail? Why is he talking about the Holy Grail…?

"Wait. What do you mean by Sakura being the Holy Grail? What did you do to her…!?"

"I tampered with her to obtain the Holy Grail and make my wish come true. It is all for Makiri's dearest wish, to put shape to the soul, the true immortality. That is why I embedded the Holy Grail into Sakura after the war ten years ago."

"What――――you embedded the Holy Grail…?"

"Right. You should have heard how the Holy Grail War ended ten years ago. Your father, Emiya Kiritsugu, destroyed the Holy Grail that was completed through the ritual we know as the Holy Grail War. The war ended, the summoning ritual a failure once again. But―――it was not a total loss. The Holy Grail was completed, if only temporarily. Then it would be a waste to leave the broken fragments as they were."

"――――――――" My head quickly cools down. In short, he took his granddaughter Sakura and…

"Yes. I embedded the Holy Grail within her. But I am no monster. I made sure she can function as a human. I knew it would be painful to have an inorganic substance in her, so I turned the shard of the Holy Grail into a living thing."

"――――Living thing… Then the crest worm in Sakura is…" "It is something I created using the Holy Grail as catalyst. With that, her body became a container to receive the souls. It became a tool to become the gate when the ritual is completed. It is just a copy of the Holy Grail the Einzbern family makes. Well, I do not have as much skill as them, so I did about an eighth my own way."

He laughs. …Copying Einzbern? All he did was pick up a piece of a finished product and implant it within Sakura…!

"…You bastard! You can't make a Holy Grail, so you used a human being to make an imitation of the Holy Grail…!?"

"Experiment. It's just an experiment, heir to Emiya. This experiment is merely a stepping stone to the next. My plan was to slowly change her to something like a Holy Grail over several decades. It was supposed to be an experiment of Makiri's Holy Grail which lives as a human but still has the function to collect souls."

"Sakura――――is an experiment…?"

"Of course. Sakura was given to the Matou family for that reason. To give a daughter to the Matou family means giving us a foundation to achieve our goal. Tohsaka is well aware of that. We both have the same goals. We will both turn ourselves into monsters to achieve immortality."

"Immortality…? You and Tohsaka's father used Sakura for something ridiculous like that…!?"

"Of course. The Holy Grail War has always been a ritual dedicated to that end. That is the only reason we cooperated, and I am the only one who still lives. To use the Matou successor to achieve our goal in the far future."

"But fate can be quite ironic. Sakura was prepared to be an unadaptable Holy Grail, but she has shown surprising growth. My, I have gotten old. I never expected Sakura to have that much talent. Not only does she still live in spite of taking in so many Servants, but she still retains her sense of being Matou Sakura. ―――She is a true Holy Grail, just like that of the Einzbern, which I thought was impossible to make myself."

"……!" I can't hold it anymore. I'm not patient enough to keep listening to the monster's nonsense. Forgetting the possibility of Assassin's intervention…

"Enough of this bullshit…! You can't call something that only sacrifices human lives a Holy Grail―――!" I let my anger take over and dash at Zouken with a raised fist.

But. "It is a Holy Grail. First of all, even the Einzbern, who create the Holy Grail, used a human as their Holy Grail for this war." "――――What?" Zouken's smile stops me in my tracks.

"…Using a human?" …My body wobbles back. I hate myself for knowing who he's talking about, even though I don't want to understand.

"Right. Ilyasviel is also a Holy Grail. But do not consider us as the same. The Einzberns are far worse. You can ask her yourself what kind of a Holy Grail they prepared."

"――――――――" My upraised arm falls. …Not only Sakura. Even Ilya is the same, and regret takes over my body in place of anger.

"Well, I assume that was all you wanted. Then it is my turn now. The reason I called for you. I want to discuss the shadow with you."

"Wha――――" Discuss the shadow…? He must be talking about the black shadow that's attacking the people in this town. But――――

"…What are you saying? That thing is on your side. So what do you need to talk about? Do you want us to beat it?" I glower at Zouken, my voice thick with sarcasm. "Kakaka, this simplifies matters! Yes, I want you to do something about that shadow. That is why I need your powers, Emiya Shirou."

"What―――are you serious…!? You guys are on the same side, right…!?"

"On the same side…? Well, I have helped it, but it has never helped me. I cannot even communicate with it. I merely arranged its path so it would not run wild. I calmed it down every night to minimize the damage it dealt, but as of last night, I can no longer continue. Did I not tell you? I cannot manage it anymore."

"―――――――" My heart thumps loudly. 'I cannot manage it anymore.' Who is that directed to?

"――――Zouken."

"Ah, yes. I must tell you what that shadow is before anything else. In short, that is the content of the Holy Grail. People say the Holy Grail is an omnipotent pot, but the Holy Grail we aim for is not a pot. The Holy Grail is only a means. Einzbern, Makiri, and Tohsaka. What the three families aim for is to open a gate using the complete Holy Grail. You can think of the complete Holy Grail as a gate to connect this world to a world where every wish comes true."

"…Hold on. Then the Holy Grail is…" "Yes. The goal of every magus is to reach the origin. But I am not interested in such a thing. The Einzberns only thought for the completion of the Holy Grail. Tohsaka is the only family of magi that is still aiming for the origin."

"…Anyway. The Holy Grail is a gate that connects to the wish machine. The shadow is something that has leaked from the other side. The real Holy Grail―――Ilyasviel would not have done such a thing. That shadow is a mistake made by the imitated Holy Grail."

"Well, I do not like to talk about the shame of my family, but it seems I did not discipline her well enough. She matured as a Holy Grail, but it would appear she cannot shut the gate properly. I do not mind if she dies from her own carelessness, but I cannot have her involve other people. What a bother… the Holy Grail I made might kill everyone in this town."

Matou Zouken shakes his head, as if it's someone else's problem.

"――――――――" I should punch him for saying that. But his words turn my emotions to ice.

"――――Then that black shadow is…" Truly… "You should already know. That thing is Sakura's shadow. You should recognize the similarities between them." …Matou Sakura herself?

"――――――――" …I fight off the dizziness. …The truth… I accept the connection I've already known but denied. No matter what that black shadow may be… I have to accept that the crime is Sakura's as well―――

"Does Sakura――――" "No, she should not know about it. That thing is the Holy Grail's shadow that appears through Sakura. It originally should not have form, but when it passed through the gate called Sakura, it took Sakura's form and obtained a body. The Holy Grail borrowed Sakura's sealed id to come into this world."

"It was beyond my expectations to be honest. I denied it since it was impossible, but I have to accept it now that it is getting stronger by the day. That thing is a Holy Grail with a will. That is why it keeps consuming human souls to complete itself. There is only one way to stop it. If the Holy Grail is born from Sakura's unconsciousness, you merely need to stop Sakura."

"I tried to persuade Sakura, but the shadow does not want me going near her. It does not have a will of its own, but that shadow is Sakura herself. It hates whoever she hates. I cannot even go near Sakura anymore."

"……What? Then you can't get close to Sakura?" "No. You people think Sakura is under my control, but that is all in the past. She is already yours. I cannot control her, as I have been cut off from her."

"………" It's something I can be happy about. At the very least, Zouken can't do anything to Sakura. Then if we can do something about the crest worm――――

"―――Wait. You haven't done anything to Sakura?" "No, nothing at all." "Then, Sakura's still in pain, because…"

"That's her own problem. I have never used the crest worm. She is breaking down because she is a Holy Grail and the powers of the Holy Grail are flowing into her. Think about it. There is a great swirl of magical energy that can grant any wish. Her human body must receive what flows from that source. There is no way Sakura's weak mind can endure the strong onflow."

"Wha――――then Sakura will…" "Unable to bear the strain of being a Holy Grail, she will explode. No, if Sakura's consciousness empties, the Holy Grail should appear. She might be swallowed by her own shadow."

"Do you understand? It is meaningless to kill me here. The Holy Grail War ends once you defeat me. At that point, all that remains is for the Holy Grail to activate. Sakura's mind will be obliterated once that happens. If you want to save her, endure for the duration of the Holy Grail War. The timing to open the gate, the completion of the Great Holy Grail, does not last long. It has already been ten days since the war began. Judging from the past wars, this war should end in about four more days."

"―――Four days. Are you saying Sakura will survive if four days pass?" "Who knows? That is for you to determine. How was she this morning? Do you think she will last four more days?" "――――! She will. Of course she'll make it."

"I see, I see. But the same cannot be said for the other people. How many disappeared last night? How many will disappear tonight? No―――how many days do you think it will take for the whole town to be consumed?"

I can't really hear his question. Does this man sound happy or sad? My head is shaking so much that I can't tell.

Defeating Zouken won't solve the problem. Sakura won't last until the Holy Grail War ends. We can't beat that black shadow. The people in town will continue to die as long as the Holy Grail War continues. "…Then how…" Can I save Sakura?

Then… "――――It's simple. You just need to kill Sakura." Zouken states the obvious.

"――――――――" "I am correct, am I not? She cannot survive even if you let her live, and the black shadow will attack people again tonight. Kill her right now to prevent that." I feel dizzy.

"――――――――" "That is what I wish to discuss. I wanted to inform you of the current situation. I wanted to tell you that you are protecting the greatest disaster." I feel like vomiting.

"――――――――" "Sakura will notice Tohsaka's daughter or me. But she will gladly give her life if it's for you." I can't breathe.

"――――――――" "―――Ending one evil life to save thousands. You should know. If you are to carry out Emiya Kiritsugu's will, Matou Sakura is your enemy." My mind isn't working at all.

I walk down the distorted hallway, unable to give a reply. I don't feel anything even when I walk or lean against the wall. It's ugly. It feels like I'm in a twisted nightmare without an exit.

I go outside, still forgetting to breathe.

"You will not make the wrong choice. It is a pity for Sakura, but this is fate."

…I walk.

"―――But I will thank you in my granddaughter's place. She has never done anything for herself. She never cursed herself for being thrown away by her father. She did not wish to be almighty like her older sister. She was a mere puppet."

…I walk. …I walk.

"The puppet was able to sleep with the man it loved. Surely, it must be satisfied. Do not condemn yourself too much. You gave my pitiful granddaughter a gift in the end."

…I walk. …I walk. …I walk. I stumble towards my house, where Sakura is waiting.

――――I walk down the hill. I'll reach the Emiya household once I go up the usual hill.

I can't leave my room empty forever. No matter what the reason may be, I secretly met with Zouken. It's not good to let Tohsaka or Sakura know about it. So I have to go home before they notice. Go home and…

I have to make a decision.

"―――――――!" The contents of my stomach come up to my throat. I chose to ally with Sakura. I swore to protect her no matter what. I chose to be with Sakura instead of becoming a superhero. But that means…

Allowing another disaster to occur, taking hundreds of lives.

"――――――――" I can't do that. I can't do that. Emiya Shirou cannot break that oath. It is like denying myself.

If you, the only one to survive that tragedy, are to allow the tragedy… You will be rejected by everything that has supported you until now.

No matter the end. Your crime will never be forgiven.

"――――――――" To not do anything means silently approving of the action. There are innocent people who will be killed tonight. If you know that, but still will not kill the cause… You are no different than the cause of the fire that day.

'―――If you deny what you have been until now to protect one person…'

'――――Will you be on my side no matter what?'

This is a choice between protecting one person or protecting everyone besides that person. Who will I side with in the end? I have to decide by tonight.

I go to the living room. "Huh? Did you come in from the entrance-side hallway?" Ilya is sitting alone in the living room.

"Yeah. I was outside for a bit. Did anything happen while I was gone?" "Nothing happened. But you have to stay in your room and rest, Shirou. Your body is as bad as Sakura's."

"Thanks. But I'm fine as long as the cloth is on." "Geez, you'll easily faint if you're talking like―――

―――Shirou. Did something happen outside?"

"―――――No, not really." "No way! I don't know what you went to do, but don't talk to me with such empty eyes!"

"Oh――――" She scolded me. …I see. I must've looked ridiculous. It can't be helped if that's the case.

"―――I'm sorry. I know it does no good to worry, but I had to think." I shake my head. Like Ilya says, I can't empty my head. I can't go see Sakura with a miserable face, so I have to show some spirit――――!

"Yeah, good. It seems you've cheered up. So, what do you want to ask about? I'll help you, if that's all right with you." "――――――――"

…Crap. Ilya sometimes gets really kind. This is the second time she's helped me when I'm feeling down. I can't tell which of us is the older one.

"Okay. Can I ask you something, Ilya?" "All right, I'll tell you anything. What do you want to know?"

"…The Holy Grail. Tell me about the Einzbern's Holy Grail." "…I see, so you found out, huh? There were two things I didn't want you to find out, and that was one of them."

"――――Ilya. Then…" "Yeah, I'm the Holy Grail. I'm not human. I'm a homunculus made that way."

Homunculus―――― An alchemical formula to create life without a womb, using sperm and other elements. They are not born from a proper reproductive system, and therefore have physical defects. Small bodies. Short lives. Lack of intelligence. Lack of reproductive functions. They have human shapes and human lives, but they are not human, and therefore are completed with a powerful Magic Circuit.

They are weak as a life form. But they far exceed human powers when they are made as magi―――no, as Magic Circuits―――

"――――Well, so that's it. The Einzbern family raised me to function as both a Holy Grail and a Master. The function of the Holy Grail is to collect the souls of defeated heroic spirits. Humans, coffins, stew pot, it doesn't matter what it's made of as long as it has that special function. It just has to be a sufficiently large container of souls."

Ilya sounds like she's not interested. But―――this is the first time I've heard that the Holy Grail collects Servants.

"Well, it's more like retrieving them than collecting them. Servants are summoned by the Holy Grail. Then it's natural that they return through the Holy Grail after they're defeated. I'm the only Holy Grail of Einzbern, so I should have collected all of them."

"…But it seems there's someone else that's functioning as a Holy Grail. It took Caster and Lancer when I noticed, and its drawing power was greater. So it took most of the Servants. ……I was able to collect Archer because he disappeared right in front of me."

…It doesn't even need to be said. The other Holy Grail is Sakura. According to Ilya, Sakura has already taken in Caster and Lancer… as well as Saber and Berserker.

"Four Servants' worth of souls. But can you hold such a thing? Isn't it a general rule that the human body can only contain one soul?"

"Yes, all the more so if it's the soul of a heroic spirit. The magical energy of a Servant that lost its 'shell' called class is enormous. Having one in your body is like creating a typhoon in your body. But it's the function of the Holy Grail to collect seven in the end. There's no space for the soul of the container itself."

"That's why all the Holy Grails until now were inorganic substances without souls. The function of the Holy Grail is to collect the souls of all seven Servants, then to unify and manage them. ―――You don't need extra programs in there. The personality of the Holy Grail will only be erased by the function of the Holy Grail."

"In short, Shirou. The Holy Grail loses its human functions the more complete it gets. The same goes for me. Once I collect many Servants, I have to cut off my functions as a human being to control the souls."

"I can manage them if I cut off the energy that moves my limbs. I won't let the souls out if I stop breathing. I can stabilize the integration of the souls if I use all the power I've used to construct my human form."

"That's the same for Sakura. You can't function as a human once you become a Holy Grail. You don't have the power to spare."

"……But, yes. If there is a difference between us, it's that I can switch at will, but Sakura is forced to. Sakura is an incomplete black Holy Grail, so she has no right to refuse."

Ilya shows no emotion as she continues. …She knew it. She probably knew it since the time she was born, no, even before she was born. She knew that her life was made for such a stupid reason.

"――――――――" But there's something I can be glad about. I place my hand on my tense chest and look up at the heavens, as if in thanks.

"What's wrong, Shirou? I said Sakura can't be saved." I know. I know that, but…

"You two are sharing them between you two, right? Then you're still…" "Hm, yeah. Sakura took most of it, so there's no problem in me staying as myself. Rider and Assassin. Even if I collect their souls, I don't need to cut off my functions as a human being."

…Yes, that's fortunate. If I lose Ilya as well, it will mean I can't protect anybody――――

"Eh, eh, Shirou…!?" Before I know it, I'm embracing Ilya. I can't promise her anything, and it's not like I want something.

"Shirou…" "――――――――" Her body is small, so I can't hold her too tightly. I just touch her, holding her in my arms. I let my fingers feel the weight of what I must protect.

It's almost two o'clock. It's late, but I decide to make lunch and take it to Sakura's room.

"――――――――Well." I take off my apron and put the rice porridge on a tray. I take a deep breath. And I fill my heart with ice.

I don't know what I'll say if I go see Sakura in this condition. I can't do that. If Sakura figures out that I'm troubled, she'll just be even more troubled herself.

I have to freeze my emotions so that I don't reveal anything. …This will the last time. This will be the last time we will be together to just casually see each other's faces. I want our precious time together to end in laughter.

"Are you awake, Sakura? It's late, but let's eat lunch." I knock and enter her room. It seems Sakura was sleeping, but her face brightens up as soon as I enter. "―――Yes. I'm glad you came, Senpai." She happily smiles.

Time passes. Sakura is getting better. She can sit up on her own, and she even ate the rice porridge without assistance.

Lunch ends and we talk about meaningless things. Apparently sleepy after eating, Sakura continues to talk while lying in bed. That's it. That's all we can do right now.

Sakura seems well. She's breathing normally, and her cheeks are red and healthy-looking. I can believe that she won't last even a few more days.

"But I've rarely caught colds. I have a healthy body, and I've never had to stay in bed with a fever."

We started with how she dislikes cold medicine, and she's now telling me how healthy she was. It seems she's never been seriously ill, and I hear she cured any cold symptoms with her spirit.

"Spirit? You mean you warmed yourself up and rested? …No, that's not what spirit means. How can you have spirit during a cold?" "Oh, um… it's an embarrassing story, so it's a secret."

Sakura laughs in embarrassment. …Hm. It seems Sakura was an energetic child in her own way.

"So it's not that I dislike cold medicine, but it's that I can't trust it. Don't you get nervous because you can't tell the effect of the medicine?"

"Oh, I guess it was like that when I was a kid. I didn't get well even after I drank this bitter medicine, so I blamed the pain and the fever on it."

Sakura happily agrees. …Seeing her smile makes me imagine that she's getting better and that she'll be up and well tomorrow.

"――――――――" …I silence my all too convenient wish. Sakura won't get well. I can't postpone my decision, believing that everything will turn out fine once she gets better.

"――――Hey, Sakura." Maybe it's because I've accepted the cold reality. "What do you want to do once you get better?" I ask her about a what-if. I ask her about a convenient future.

"Eh…? What I want to do…?" "Yeah. Something that's fun for you. Anything's fine. I'm just asking, so don't worry about if it's possible or not." "Eh――――hmm, hold on." Sakura looks around, troubled.

After some pondering… "I guess I don't have anything. I'm fine how things are right now, and just being with you is good enough." Sakura blushes.

"――――――――" My vision narrows. I have to keep my feelings frozen.

'She has never done anything for herself.'

Damn old bastard! It's not that she hasn't done anything…! She just doesn't know how. Fun things. She doesn't know what she wants because she's never known a normal life. She's never known normal happiness, so she values such trivial things――――

"…Senpai? Um, is something wrong…?" "Huh? Oh, I was just thinking to myself."

She hasn't done anything yet. Sakura doesn't know what she should have, what she should obtain.

Sakura doesn't smile outside. Sakura doesn't make friends. A closed world, consisting of my house and the Matou's. But if I can change it, I'll pay any price――――

"S-Senpai…? Um, you're acting strange. …Does your left hand hurt?" "No, it's not that. Sakura. Let's go somewhere far away once this is all over. We've never gone anywhere for fun, right? It's good to go off and enjoy ourselves once in a while."

"――――――――" Sakura blankly stares at me. It looks like she's surprised, like she thinks it's all a dream.

"It's decided. Where do you want to go, Sakura?" "Eh――――um, where? Um――――" She thinks in confusion. She doesn't answer for a while. But she must have found a wish she wants with all her heart.

"…Um. It can be anything, right?" Sakura timidly looks up at me.

"Yeah. There's nowhere you can't go if you put your mind to it." I'm serious, but it seems she took it as a joke. Sakura smiles with relief. "Then I want to go cherry blossom viewing." And she makes a trivial wish.

"Cherry blossom viewing? You mean that cherry blossom viewing?" "Yes. We can do it here, but there are only plum trees here. I want to go cherry blossom viewing in a big field on a sunny day."

"――――I see. That certainly…" …Sounds really fun. It'll be great to watch cherry blossoms under a clear blue sky at the park by the bridge. There are many fun things. Starting out with cherry blossom viewing suits Sakura.

"―――All right. Then it's a promise. Let's go there together once you get well and once this whole mess is over." Sakura shows a satisfied smile. I make the promise and stand up.

……Yes. How great will it be if we can really do that? I imagine my own happiness that I've never imagined since the fire ten years ago.

I leave her room. All that's left is a trivial promise. It's not just Sakura's wish. This promise, which can be fulfilled come April, is my wish as well.

"――――――――" I dream of a warm fantasy with a frozen mind.

Once winter is over. Once spring arrives, we'll go view the cherry blossoms together――――

―――And it's the night I have to make my decision.

We won't be patrolling the town anymore. Tohsaka spent the whole day making the gem sword and is now resting, completely exhausted. The same goes for Ilya. The three of us ate dinner silently and went back to our own rooms.

It's ten o'clock. …The shadow should go into action soon.

"――――――――" I get up soundlessly. I grab the knife I got from the kitchen and leave my room.

The door isn't locked. I open the door without a sound and walk to the bed.

"――――――――" Sakura's sleeping. That's all I can tell. I can't tell if she's getting better or worse.

―――There's something wrong with my vision. I can't even see Sakura's face even when she's sleeping right before me.

"―――――, ―――" I suppress my dizziness and trembling. Prepare yourself. That shadow might be attacking people while I hesitate.

If there's no way to directly kill it, I have to ▊▊▊▊ Sakura here. Even if it's not Sakura's fault, people are harmed. There will be victims. There will be people who could not prevent the harm. …And Sakura will commit crimes she does not want to commit.

"――――――――" I raise the knife. My mouth is dry. It feels like my tongue's turned into a piece of cardboard. The inorganic knife sends a chill up my spine.

My eyes become numb as I think about sticking this thin scrap of metal, whose only reason of existence is its sharpness, into a living human's throat, Sakura's soft flesh. It's like stumbling and falling eye-first onto a flathead screwdriver. The blinding pain of numbness peels the cerebral membrane like an orange peel.

"――――――――" There's something wrong with my senses. The fingers holding the knife look as if they're all bending in the wrong way. It looks like psychic powers in movies. I ignore it and tighten my grip.

I…

[gentlenekomata]

The greenhouse has been absolutely frantic these past few days. Students who aren’t preoccupied with running back and forth, juggling fertiliser and various implements in their arms, are saying an incredibly rare plant, the Lady-of-Mourning, is blooming. It’s a sorrowful plant, named for a famous folk tale featuring a pair of ill-fated lovers. Once upon a time, there were two lovers from very different classes. One, hailing from a noble family, with a notable crest, the other, a woman from the local village. Despite their differences, they were able to snatch shared moments together when they could. That was, until the noblewoman was engaged to a politically advantageous match, crushing all hope of their union forever. In her fury, she began destroying everything in her path with a strength fuelled by grief and separation. She became a monster. One her lover had to kill after she almost destroyed her home village. In the battle, they annihilated each other. Falling together in a fatal embrace, they were united by death. Depressing stuff. Normally, when the flower blooms (once every two hundred years) it ensures their story is remembered. That lovers won’t be separated ever again. But this year, the flower seems to be wilting before it can blossom. Will you be able to save the plant and ensure true love can flourish forevermore? [Grants Faith +1]

starter for @venticatenae

The winter was slowly fading aways at Garreg Mach Monastery, leaving place to some more warmer atmosphere and hotter sunrays, gentle caressing Sakura’s skin as she was fretting towards the greenhouse: she was on her duty for watering plants, since she was one of the main curator of the building, but especially in that peculiar period of the year, she knew that certain flowers and plants needed a special care and attention –few students were already alerted and were going back and forth with fertiliser and healing concoctions. The petite priestess knew that the Lady-of-Mourning, a very special plant blooming in that period, was a bit late that year, probably due to the lack of rains and proper weather conditions that usually enhanced its growth during her long period of development: due to that, she decided to go in first person to take care of that plant, willing to fully cure it from its dangerous situation.

As she arrived at the place, entering the glass building, she already eyed a student nearby the famous plant while handling some topsoil and some fertiliser together, probably ordered from some other guardians of the greenhouse. Happy to see so much excitement and attention towards that poor plant’s situation, she softly placed a hand on his shoulder, gently calling out his attention.

“You’re doing pretty good” she said with a genuine smile, then shifted her gaze towards the plant, “But we need something more than some simple fertiliser” she stopped for a moment, pondering about the tools and supplies in the in the greenhouse's cabinet. “Oh, what how rude of me! We didn’t even introduce ourself!” she shrugged off the thoughts of the plant, focusing her attention on the young boy. “My name’s Sakura. I usually work at the Church, but I like plants too, so I usually stop by at the greenhouse to give some help” she giggled, offering her hand for a shake. “And you are?”

among plants, we unveil the truth | Sakura & Lewyn

[kalpasio]

Firecracker

A Kalpas x Reader one shot, the link goes to the whole book, but the chapter is below the cut!

Hypothetically, you and Kalpas had been dating for a few months now. You say ‘hypothetically’ because really there was no difference between how he treated you compared to anyone else. His friends Sakura and Emile received the same rude comments laced with concern that you did, and his enemies just got the rude part.

Going into this relationship, you weren’t expecting anything spectacular; the only thing Kalpas went over the top for was destruction & violence. Still, you had hoped there would be some change between the two of you. Maybe the occasional hug, or maybe he would spend some free time with you instead of the training holograms. At the very least, you thought he’d let you use a term of endearment, but pet names were firmly on his shit list.

The first time you tried calling him ‘love,’ he bluntly told you he thought that was stupid. Kalpas already had a name, why would you give him one? It was just another one of those things couples did that he couldn’t see the point of. You wanted to ask what he did see the point of in a relationship, but you had a feeling his answer wasn’t something you wanted to hear. ‘Sugar, honey, pumpkin’? Absolutely not. ‘Dearest, beloved, sweetheart’? You were lucky if you only got a glare.

You only had to ask Kalpas to spend more time together once, and he was on it. What had been only your room, was now as much yours as it was his, he was the last person to see you off on a mission, and the first to welcome you back. While he may not initiate PDA, he made it clear he didn’t care what others thought and was comfortable so long as you were. The only thing that didn’t change was the strict use of only his name and nothing else. It was actually on accident when you finally found a term of endearment that met Kalpas’ high standards.

“Calm down firecracker,” you’d said, fully expecting your words to have the opposite effect. Kalpas’ tirade stopped, and for half a second, you thought his fury would turn to you next, but it never happened. All he did was scoff and walk out of the room, leaving you and Sakura behind and very confused. Throughout the rest of the day, the moment ran through your head, and you wondered if you’d somehow crossed a line. Unsurprisingly, Kalpas was very vocal about being irritated so you found it hard ot believe he was simply upset about you calling him 'firecracker.'

By the time you were heading to your quarters for the night, you were half convinced you’d be sleeping alone. All your worrying was for naught; when you opened the door, Kalpas was already there, mask off, eating the dinner he’d stolen from the canteen downstairs. Even more surprising, the only thing he was mad about was the fact that you’d returned to using his name.

At first, you didn’t get it. Why was he pouting? You’d never seen Kalpas make that face before, and your confusion didn’t seem to be helping. Over the course of dinner, his pout turned into a scowl that would appear at seemingly random intervals until you finally gave up and asked.

“What’s bothering you?” you spoke through a sigh, though your intentions were genuine.

“Why are you using my name?” He spoke like it was a threat, but you’d gotten so used to his dramatic tendencies, you didn’t even bat an eye.

“Because it’s your name.”

“You didn’t use it this morning.” Kalpas would sound like a petulant child if he wasn’t on the verge of growling, and you realized this must really be frustrating him.

“You mean when I called you firecracker?” You were met with silence. “Do you want me to use it, or are you telling me to stop?”

“Do I need to spell it out?”

“If you want me to understand, yeah.” Instead of being in any way helpful, Kalpas stood from the table, forcing you to follow him if you wanted an explanation. “Kalpas—” you were met with a fiery glare. “…firecracker?” And now he's fine, walking away like you were playing some sort of red-light green-light with pet names. “You could just tell me these things you know?” Another glare had you taking your words back with an eye roll. “Never mind…”

The next name to earn approval was ‘little flame.’ You’d said it when he was slow getting out of bed one morning, and when the room got hot, you expected him to break the silence with yelling. No such thing came, and when Kalpas got closer to you, it became apparent he was merely blushing. That morning your shower was extra warm, and you found that if you called him ‘little flame,’ your boyfriend would actually sort of listen to you.

After that, he became ‘decimation’ when he proudly announced his signet title. It was a name you preferred to use in private, or at least somewhere Elysia couldn’t hear—which was pretty much exclusively your quarters.

Names like ‘bane of my existence,’ or ‘loath of my life,’ were thrown around as jokes, but unfortunately, one of your jokes stuck. You’d been taunting him after a fight and called him ‘fire boy,’ but when you waited for him to start complaining and shooting flames, you got nothing. Looking over at Kalpas, your concern turned to horror when you saw his smirk.

“No. Nonono, that was a joke. I am not calling you that!”

He laughed and walked ahead while you stood rooted in place. “Then don’t.”

The thing is, he said that, but every few days he’d give you that half-glare-half-pout certified Kalpas look, and you’d have to run through your list of pet names until he was satisfied. And every time, you’d get to the end only to give a sigh before begrudgingly calling him ‘fire boy.’ Without fail, that was the correct answer, and your boyfriend would walk off with a laugh—not because he wanted to humiliate you, but because he was proud of himself for finding a way to make you cave.

On the bright side, Kalpas was aware that his demands could be a little much, and while he had no plans to stop, he was more than willing to provide extra cuddles to compensate. You figured you could let the teasing slide a few more times…

Kalpas is an ass and I love him, what's new?

[tranquil-turbulence]

SasuSaku Month ‘22 Day 28

Day 27 | Day 29

Day 28 Prompt: Paint

Shippuden

Sakura had always been pretty; he had to admit that. She had a youthful innocent look about her when they were children that was naturally alluring - and he wasn't the only boy to notice.

But after the closely-knit team of three was split apart by gruesome politics and opportunities and finding their own teachers to help them master their skills, he had not gotten the chance to watch as she continued to grow.

Now, as they reunited back in the forests surrounding their home for one final battle against Orochimaru, he was able to see her in all of her stubborn, pink-headed glory.

Even now, she was beautiful.

Sakura looked this way and that, barking orders to her subordinates, Byakugou seal on proud display at the center of her forehead. The bright rhombus absolutely thrummed with power still unleashed, power that seemed to spark life into her eyes and be the adrenaline coursing through her body. She seemed to glow with a corona of power about her, something that drew the eyes and sent a thrill through his chest.

She continued to perform chest compressions on an unconscious Ino, and as he read her lips he could see her demanding her best friend wake up. He could only watch at a distance as she leaned in and pressed her mouth to the blonde's, her hand disappearing into her chest.

Despite the confusion and destruction around them, she seemed the eye of the storm, the peaceful center of it all. Though she was harried, she was more in her element than he'd ever seen her before. Ninja scrambled around her, some drawing attention away from their star medic, others seizing the opportunity to strike back, and there she sat with one arm steadying the blonde's head while the other manually stimulated her heart into beating again.

The blood coating her face and hands was a deep crimson; a color he swore he'd never let paint her, back when they were innocent kids, not yet knowing of the horrifying world they had chosen to take part in. Yet here she was now, dirty and roughed-up and bloody from battle, and red had never looked better on the rosy-haired woman.

Not girl, but woman. Sakura was no mere girl in this moment.

All at once, Ino's eyes fluttered open and she seemed to come to life, gasping for air as Sakura pulled away. Her frantic blue eyes scanned her friend before something Sakura said made her perk up, and she nodded, grasping that bloodied hand and struggling to her feet.

Sakura paused to brush her hand across her cheek, and a smear of red became her war paint as she cracked her knuckles loudly.

Sasuke watched from a distance as she leapt right back into the fray, several Konoha shinobi scrambling out of the way as she punched a crater into deep into the flesh of the forest, felling trees and kicking up dirt and debris as she raced ahead.

Even bloody and hopped up on adrenaline and fury, she was beautiful. More beautiful than she ever had been before.

[littlecoffeekitty]

Little Coffee Kitty's 2022 Fandoms Review ♡

After so many years of doubting myself if I could write a fanfic, I finally let my inhibitions go and did it as a gift to myself on Christmas! I wrote six fanfics in a week, starting from the 25th, and I couldn't be prouder! Here's to plenty more stories this 2023! I'm so excited. ٩(๑òωó๑)۶(｡>﹏<｡)(ﾉ´∀｀*)(｡ŏ﹏ŏ)(*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

Muted Sparks (2 chapters)

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: Deidara x Sakura

Summary: Deidara's drunk, and someone's on his lap. He just wants to finish his drink in silence, damn it.

LCK's thoughts on writing it: I love, looooove this so much. This is the very first fanfic I ever wrote on AO3, and it'll always have a very special place in my heart. Yeah, I was very drunk while I wrote it, but it was worth it. I was so tired of always having second thoughts on writing fanfic, and I broke through it! I did it!

•••

Baon sa Pagtulog (Rough translation from Tagalog: "Carried into Sleep")

Fandom: Mad Max: Fury Road

Pairing: The Dag x Slit

Summary: Slit's cold medicine turns him into a sappy man.

LCK's thoughts on writing it: This fic is one of my personal favorites. It has a different flavour from all the rest, and I like it because of that. Also, I absolutely adore this pairing.

•••

White Flower

Fandom: Naruto

Characters: The Uchiha Siblings

Summary: Itachi gets woken up in the middle of the night by his little brother.

LCK's thoughts on writing it: Oh man, my own pain was my inspiration here. I just woke up in the middle of the night with my stomach hurting, and so to distract myself from it, I wrote this fic. After I applied White Flower on myself, of course. I also liked the particular way it turned out.

•••

Nightmare

Fandom: Undertale

Characters: Sans and Frisk

Summary: Frisk had a very frightening dream. Sans tries to soothe them.

LCK's thoughts on writing it: This was just a small idea I had, and I wanted to try it. I wanted to see where it goes. I want to write more Undertale fics in the future.

•••

Real

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: Obito x Rin

Summary: Obito holds Rin in his arms.

LCK's thoughts on writing it: Oh boy, pain, pain was my inspiration as well. Pain on the inside. I was in a very bad headspace when I wrote this. My tears didn't go to waste.

•••

Explosion

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: Deidara x Sakura

Summary: Sakura and Deidara sneak out of the party and go somewhere quieter.

LCK's thoughts on writing it: AHHHHH, I loved writing this so much talaga! I really, really enjoyed it! I went on a roller-coaster ride of emotions throughout. I got so frustrated so many times, and there were moments where I just wanted to quit writing it. But I got through it! I finished it, and I'm so proud.

[scoups4lyfe]

Hebi Anon

Donbrothers is a show that, by some unfortunate coincidence, seems determined to dig up and expose everything I find traumatic and try to reframe them as jokes.

I was traumatized for good reasons, I do not appreciate them being used for cheap laughs

So, I did see your TW ask Hebi-san. I haven't done anything with it yet because its real personal and I didn't know if you wanted me to post that. But I will at least say that I've read it.

First things first, your thoughts/feelings/opinions are 10 billion percent valid.

Remember to take care of yourself FIRST, my friend.

I know what it's like to get triggered by something in tv shows. Episode 10 was a good example of that. The idea of being replaced and forgotten fills me with unholy fury and rage 🤪.

Another good example would be the first time I watched episode 15 of Revice (not so much anymore lol, cuz I know it was written that way for a reason and thematically I appreciate that). So funny tho cuz other liveblogs were like "True sibling behavior <33" while I was like: "Ikki and Sakura. You two are DEAD to me." (lmao)

So I 10 billion % get where you're coming from.

Thank you for choosing to share something so personal with me. I always appreciate your input.

And yeah,

I understand exactly what you're saying about asking a lot of questions that seem incredibly obvious to some people.

In school there were times I hated certain essay questions or multiple choice questions because it was too ambiguous / abstract for me and I had the constant fear of "this is too vague? What if I answer it wrong?!?"

I feel like the only time I really get stressed/anxious is usually when I have to ask a lot of questions for things I have no understanding for. Mostly because I'll probably ask the same question like 6 times just to make sure. And like you said, others kind of peg you as incompetent when you're like that.

It's rather unnecessary for me to put here, but since you shared something personal, I might as well reciprocate, if only just a bit.

I know why you hardcore empathize with Haruka/Haiku. Absolutely understandable.

For me, it's not that I solely empathize with Tarou -- am I a Tarou apologist? Lol absolutely. But I don't only see just his side.

Often I actually had "?????" times as well about a majority of his actions LOL! But I could tell he was written like that for a reason. Esp with how he's hella coded as being on the spectrum. So I knew that I needed to do a lot of research on topics I knew jack-all about so I could parse out theories/deductions.

(Which is what I've been doing lol)

I think for me, I fall right on that line of being not emotional at all, and also being overflowing with emotions always. Strong emotions tend to fizzle out quickly, like it's impossible for me to hold grudges -- I know, I've tried 🤪.

But because of this I don't get too overly attached to characters. / Situations, because my mind places that in "short term" and I forget about it by the time I wake up . (Unless, of course, it's a re-occurring thing, because then I'm not able to put it on the periphery.)

This gives me a detached way of recollecting/examining things, as the emotions don't come up with the memory I'm recollecting (usually).

So when it comes to Donbrothers, I view most of the situations neutrally. Obv I have my favoritism and what not, but that's because I looked at both sides and chose the one I felt for the best.

I said it once, twice, and I'll say it thrice, but I saw Momoi's attempt at complimenting them > over Haiku's nonsense 🤪.

And this is because out of all the people present, I felt Momoi was the one who took the biggest L in that entire interaction.

It's like I could see behind his eyes, and feel the fear and pain of dying, as well as the anxiety, confusion, etc. over the other team members essentially going "you failed to do this. So fvck you then <3. Have fun fighting alone."

AND THEN, also holding into account the fact that he's been abandoned all his life. And now his teammates are abandoning him over something he has no control over (i. e lying) / something he failed to do (compliment them).

And my heart bled for him and this injustice. ESP seeing how affected (emotionally) he is about it on the rooftop with Sonoi.

I get where the others are coming from. But to me, Momoi was the one hurting the most in the situation, and so I sided with him <3.

Now, on the topic of taking sides.

Just like how you're influenced by your experiences, I believe I'm just built to (mostly) look at both sides of the equation.

I grew up in a very small household (imagine 3 rooms, 1 bathroom and 12 people living there); and my household was/is also filled with mentally ill people.

I say this because, such small space meant A LOT of fights. But you had to 'forgive and forget' quickly cuz if not you'd be miserable for days when the ppl that screwed you over are just fine and dandy. So it's easier for me to forgive and forget than probably a lot of people.

Growing up, I also wasn't able to see myself in/mirror myself from either of my parents. So instead I mirrored myself/found comfort through tv shows. Because I didn't see myself in either of my parents, this also led me through a lot of self-reflection cuz I assumed there had to be something wrong with me (lol).

(Though this was all subconscious. The self-reflection led me to a lot of self-analysis and gave me the analytical lens I have today of viewing things from a more detached perspective)

And for me, instead of asking questions (I do sometimes, and I always have the running commentary in my head anyways) I learned to not ask questions ever.

For example, I stopped asking my mom to help me with my homework because my questions always led to a beating and my mom accusing me of making her do all the work. (RIP <3) And to this day I'd rather die than ask for help LOL.

I also never got diagnosed until literally last year. (Prior to that I didn't realize I had anything like ADHD or Bi-polar), so I was def riding the "I could do so well if I only tried harder and wasn't so lazy <3" train for basically all my life.

I can't say I've ever been bullied (by anyone outside my immediate family <3), and I always had at least 1 friend in all the schools I went to (even if I don't at all remember how I befriended them LOL).

But my traumas being directly related to my family has made it so I can't really hate or despise them. Because, they're my family you know? And they really do try their best.

The worst part is, where I'm at now I can see exactly where they're coming from. Which makes it virtually impossible to hate them for anything because it's like I can see behind their eyes and know their thoughts and feelings and worries, and idk.

I'd say my family is very dysfunctional. I could tell you a normal day in my family's household that would blow the hair right off your head.

The only way I can describe it, is (for us siblings) literally you could mirror us with the Umbrella Academy sibs.

(My older sis is Luther to a T, my younger sis is Five, my younger brother Ben, and everyone in my family unanimously agreed I'd be Klaus LOL)

Another example to what my life growing up was like,,, I'd compare it to being eerily similar to Shameless (U.S vers)'s Gallagher family.

If you. haven't seen any of those shows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

There are youtube compilations LOL.

TLDR;

You didn't deserve the BS you got from those losers at ur school, I get much better now why you don't like Momoi, and I absolutely respect your opinion. Once again, thanks for sharing your experiences. If you want me to post that ask, I will. But only with your permission. Like you, I'm also influenced by my experiences/personality and because of so I'll more than likely continue my Momoi Tarou apologism.

[rose-colored-amy]

Prompt: Genin!Sakura meets her future self, a hardened warrior who has lost everything —from her teammates to the world itself—. She has come to warn her younger version about the consequences of being negligent. Unbeknownst to them, this short meeting will end up being the turning points towards another future; a future where the world is safe and there's much less pain to recover from. Slight Sasusaku. Mostly Team 7 fluff.

One Day at a Time

Sakura was acting strange. Kakashi could tell right away. She was silent, which was an oddity in itself. Usually she would fuss over Sasuke until the boy silenced her with a sharp comment or a straight up glare. He decided to let it slide. Surely it wasn't something to worry about. She was a pre-teen. Pre-teens brooded over absolutely everything and anything. Still, by the corner of his eye, he could see Sasuke peeking at her warily, as if she had somehow grow a second head while Naruto complained about their newest D-rank. When the young Uchiha realized he had been caught staring at his teammate, he glared at Kakashi and looked the other way.

Such cute students he had indeed.

The next day she remained the same, but then again not everybody got over their madness in one day, and Sakura seemed the resentful type, so he still didn't address it. However, he felt slightly put out when she started going over katas and stamina training while the boys sparred in the background.

The third day, however, was rather concerning. She showed up with dark ninja pants, long sleeved fingerless gloves that reached above her elbows and a white tank top. It contrasted greatly with her overall everyday appearance. Moreover, she was a bit ruffled, as if she had been exercising before their meeting. Also, her eyes held dark circles underneath. When he revealed himself, Sasuke was staring blankly at her and Naruto was being royally ignored on his many questions while she meditated.

By the time they made it to sparring, he could tell she was frustrated. Her chakra was unsteady, flickering like a blown bulb on its last hours. It spiked with fury everytime she failed to do a push up. Her teammates were also distressed, surely noticing her predicament. Still, the tension remained, but no one dared say anything nor break it.

Half an hour later, she fell face first to the floor because she caught her own hair under her palm. The boys stopped the pitiful spar abruptly —they weren't onto it anyways, too preoccupied stealing subtle glances to their teammate—. Kakashi was half a way from closing on her when she suddenly growled and stood up, nose bleeding, and took a kunai from her pouch.

"Saku—"

Then, she gripped furiously at the end of her long tresses and cut them clean with the knife, tossing the seemingly offending rest to the ground. Now, her long silky pink hair stood on irregular spikes just above her shoulders. Kakashi stood there, not saying anything, while Naruto's mouth fell open —speechless for once—. Sasuke just looked as if he had witnessed something freaky, eyes widened and everything.

She whipped her blood with the back of her fingerless gloves.

"Sakura-chan! What the heck?!"

Kakashi put a hand on Naruto's shoulder the instant he felt Sakura shake. Her breath started to go faster, as if she couldn't take enough air.

"I... I can't—"

Surprisingly, Sasuke was beside her. "Sakura. Listen to me." He places both of his hands on her shoulders, firmly but gently, and Kakashi can't help but stare, mildly astonished. "Breathe with me."

"I... I can't!"

"Yes, yes you can. Just focus only on me. Breathe."

And for once, Naruto is not saying anything, not fussing over her, probably understanding she needed to cling to every ounce of calmness. Instead, he settles for approaching her and rubbing her back, tracing the circle of the Haruno clan with his palm.

"I can't do it... I can't. It'll never be enough." She fisted her hands, stabbing her own skin with her nails until her knuckles went white.

"Enough for what, Sakura?"

"Shut up, dobe! Not now!" That effectively shut the blonde up. Sasuke's gaze shifted to her once more. "Sakura. Breathe with me. Just breathe."

Five minutes later and her breathing stabilized. They had sat her under a sturdy tree, fallen leaves and traces of the sun leaking between them every now and then.

"I'm too weak... I can't go on like this. I need to be stronger."

"You are doing fine, Sakura." This time it was Kakashi who talked, scared shitless of the way she was talking. It sounded too much like Sasuke to be healthy.

"No, I'm not!" She rubbed at her eyes. "I'm a failure to this team. I can't do anything right, I freeze up all the time, I'm not even worth a spar!" She pointed her finger to her teammates, tears still dropping down her cheeks. "One day, they're gonna get killed and I'll just— If I don't contribute I might be the reason if someday—"

"Enough." This time it is Sasuke. He looked positively furious; his nose scrunched up in a sneer. "If you want to be strong so bad, then train. Stop pitying yourself! You're being annoying."

"Oi! Teme!" Naruto shouted, ready to launch at and beat some sense into the young Uchiha. However, Kakashi stopped them in time, just before they got closed enough to cause a scene.

"Both of you. Knock it off. Now's not the time."

They glared at each other once more but Naruto turned to the pinkette, eyes softening. "Sakura-chan, you are already usef—"

"Don't lie, idiot!" Sasuke pushed him out of the way.

"HEY, YOU ASSH—"

"Yes, you are weak. And yes, you contribute little to the team now." He stated it seriously, meeting her glossy eyes up front while ignoring Naruto.

She averted her green orbs in shame.

"However... "

Sakura had heard that tone a couple of times before. She knew it all too well. That was how he talked when he was going to say something embarrassing, but necessary. That was the tone he used when he needed to be kind. The tone she dreamed of since she was a child.

He didn't say 'I love you', but she felt her heart ignite at his next words:

"That doesn't mean that you can't be in the future, though." He crossed his arms over his chest, closing his eyes, and Sakura could have sworn she saw a light blush contrasting against his fair skin. But the shadow of the tree made it difficult to tell, and she didn't want to assume, so she left it slide.

"Yeah, believe it! Our team is gonna be great in no time, Sakura-chan!" And just like that, she felt some tension leaving her guts. Naruto had that effect when he did wanted to be considerate. He looked childish and was loud, but there were moments like these when she did appreciate his positiveness. After all, she way too down-to-earth for her own good.

"Thank you, guys..." She smiled weakly at them. But it was a smile. "Really."

"Anytime, Sakura-chan." Kakashi ruffled her freshly cut hair, an eye smile peeking off his mask. "Just remember: one step at a time."

She was fine the morning afterwards, althought there had been some shift; that was for sure. Kakashi couldn't put a finger on it, but the changes were there. Her efforts were leading her to become proficient in gengutsu, and he tested her everyday on those while the other two sparred.

It was the first step on the right direction, and Sakura never forgot. She never forgot the words her older self had uttered. They were imprinted on her memory, marked by her will of fire like a sacred prayer:

"They're the reason I'm breathing, and they'll be the reason you wake up every morning. Then, because you take them for granted, you'll lose them. And that'll hunt you. Forever."

[dimigex]

3, 12, 15, 23, 25 for the end of year fanfic asks! 🥰

Yay! Thank you for the asks! If anyone else wants to send some, the list can be found here. I love getting these because they make me think. Coincidentally, I usually forget everything when I read a question so here’s my scattered thoughts lol

3. Favorite line/scene you wrote this year - So there is a scene in Fragile Strength that I can’t include because it’s not posted, but it involves confessions and a rain storm and I just love it lol ,Otherwise, I’m quite partial to this bit from Beautiful, Perfect Disaster:

Kakashi knew that he'd made a mistake when Sakura looked at him with a mixture of pain and disbelief. The room spun, and he thought that he might be sick. He fought the nausea down and took a half step in her direction. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Sakura spat. Somehow, she drew herself up, towering over Kakashi in her fury. "For lecturing me about something you don't understand? For acting like you cared about me? For-"

"For falling in love with you." The words hung between them for a moment, louder than the echo of Sakura's anger.

12. Favorite character to write about this year- I’d probably say Tenzo in Healing Hands. This story is very personal for me and it’s been a joy working through the struggle of addiction, ptsd, and mental issues through a character’s life

15 Something you learned this year- The world actually won’t end if I half edit some of my works. Not everything needs a full edit or dozens of hours spent on it. Most people will not know the difference.

23 Fics you wanted to write but didn’t- Gah, there’s been so many haha I was supposed to be working on a Fantasy AU for KakaSaku that hasn't materialized yet. I also have a half finished work for Overwatch that I love but kind of abandoned in my wips. Both deserved my time but neither got it. I suppose Altered Reality should be on this list as well XD

25 a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read - Okay look, the truth is that my to read file in my email is currently. . . over 2,000 stories long and I’m horrible at keeping up with stuff. That said, I do have a few favorites that reminded me why I loved fanfiction (and got me back into fandom). So in no particular order:

- Take My Picture by @kendochick-moor, I literally read all of this at once and avidly waited for the next installments. I didn’t know I needed it, but it reminded me that fanfic is meant to be fun and enjoyable and surprising and just lovely. It’s one of the first stories that actually got me back to reading!

-hope is but a heartache by @uchihasass and not just because you asked me this question. I absolutely adore this fic and it makes me want to write my own time travel and fix it fic. I’ve been hooked since I started it and I’m always super excited to see the next chapter when they come. It’s one I’m always looking forward to.

- actions and consequences by @murd3rm1ttens, this is another story that literally just grabbed me and said ‘hey, do you remember Kakashi and Sakura, let me show you something cool and make you fall in love with them again’. The world building is lovely, it explores a lot of concepts about love, marriage, and expectations and I’m always astounded by how Mittens weaves canon characters and evens into the AU. It’s been a lovely ride thus far.

[secret-engima]

1/? Calling for Rain verse - what colors do you see everyone wearing (or maybe just Primary colors, given the size of the cast)? I could see a lot of Green (because NINJA), with Purple and Blue right behind it (because Konoha). Ngl, I really like the idea of Sakura keeping her Red/White colors, especially after training with Nyxsuke and learning to shatter things with her fists. Wearing her Fury and Destruction as a banner and a warning (but only on missions).

a-world-in-grey

said:

2/? Naruto probs keeps his Orange/Blue, even though Kakashi is lamenting the fact that he’s a walking neon target. Nyxsuke goes with the Ulric colors without saying. Lee absolutely keeps the bright Green spandex - with taijutsu like that he’s earned it. And you mentioned Hinata in purple or green (though I think she’d personally choose purple or blue or even yellow over green, just based on her personality and what traits she’d value?). But what about the rest of the genin?

a-world-in-grey

said:

3/3 Does Neji keep the Hyuuga whites? Does Tenten maybe wear hints of Silver? What about the rest of Team 8 and Team 10?

Me: Hmmmmm definitely a lot of green, purple, and blue yeah. Sakura absolutely makes Red and White her mission colors :3, but off missions I see her leaning toward Blue and even some Gold?

Naruto continues to flaunt his Orange/Blue, this time edged with Purple instead of White and Kakashi is a despair over it. Nyxsuke is Ulric colors, and also specifically Kingsglaive colors (Black/Purple edged with silver) when on missions. Nothing can pry Lee’s green spandex and orange warmers from him so don’t even try.

Hinata leans towards the Purples, yes.

Neji ... takes longer to join the color code, but after I can see him going for Purple edged with Orange, the latter being a subtle defiance of his clan.

Tenten absolutely adds some Silver to her outfit as well as trading out her red and white for some nice, complimentary shades of green (Gai is so thrilled)

Kiba is loud and proud in Blue, Black, and Red.

Shino goes for a nice muted Green with Blue goggle straps.

Ino probably sticks with her Purple theme? But I can see her adding touches of Silver and Black to it.

Shikamaru finds the color code “troublesome”, but if you look closely you’ll notice that his outfit is Green with edges of Blue and Silver.

Chouji, loveable fellow he is, wears predominantly Blue and Purple.

[psalloacappella]

poco a poco

Day 5 Prompt:  Lover’s Quarrel // “You never listen to me.”

@sasusakublankperiodweek

Ao3 | FFN | ↓

Underneath the dense foliage of a magnificent, custodial beech tree, they sit quiet for a bit, apologizing without moving their lips — in the buzz of insects, the nostalgic trilling of toads, the whispering of tree leaves.

Sasuke watches her in profile; then, with an unexpected tenderness, tucks her hair behind her ear, dark eyes on the split skin of her cheekbone.

The sound Sakura makes isn’t quite a scream, but it startles Sasuke enough for him to pause in his foraging task. Reaching for a benign fallen fruit nestled in the grass, her reaction seems theatrical on its face and now he’s distracted by the glistening, bright nettles getting in the way of securing the bag. 

“Don’t—!”

It makes sense in an instant:  The alarming shade of orange they possess, an alien glimmer and dance about them. He scoffs and has a thought that immediately reminds him he’s occasionally stupid, Ah, plants don’t move like this —

And though Sakura’s never possessed his level of speed, she’s already yanking him out of the brush as the alcove swiftly aims to trap them in.

They tumble backward, Sakura bodily pulling him along without tapping the wellspring of her true strength; they’ve played that game, and he’s intimately familiar with the shiver a grown man feels dancing down his spine when a fissure snakes beneath the earth under his feet.

Tangled up in one another and already catching angry mutters, he’s sure he’s missed something he doesn’t understand and she’s about to tell him exactly what it is.

Well, he’d never have it any other way.

Kneeling on her haunches, she roughly clears her vision of stray hair and levels a gaze, green-glass and sharp, that could slice and feather him as a mandolin. 

“Are—you—blind?”

“Not quite yet.”

Sasuke never knew her eyes could get quite so wide, and he considers the merits of keeping his witty comebacks to himself.

Something draws his gaze, though, and the amusement sinks as fast as it came. The thin line, a surface split in the skin dashed across her cheekbone, doesn’t seem to impede her anger roiling along as a volcano, folding in on itself and furthering its validity as a runaway chemical reaction.

“If you touched it, we need to extract the poison right away,” she says impatiently, speaking through gritted teeth. Luckily that’s only a side-effect of her fury, rather than the cut.

“Sakura—”

“Come here—”

“Your face!” A spark of his own surfacing out of guilt and irritation; there’s no way she’s unaware of the poison now coursing through her systems in a chaotic melee, seeking whichever biological home feeds it best. 

Her response is to yank him by the hand, turning his arm at the elbow and spreading his fingers. 

“I’m fine!” he barks.

“All it takes is a tiny way in, Sasuke—”

“And what about you? What do we do?”

“I’m asking the questions, here.”

“I’m not your patient out here, you know,” he snaps, indicating the forest clearing. 

“Then maybe stop trying to act like one!” The rouge of her anger lights up the cut in her face with an odd white rim, and Sasuke catches the sinister gleam from the split in her skin from a passing moment in the shifting canopy. 

Orange.

“A color that bright — gods, I can’t believe you—”

Ripping her belt from the waist and unfurling it with a snap!, a motion saturated with ire, her hand hovers for a second or two, fingers bouncing in rapid thought, before plucking a vial and fluttery gauze from the pack. 

“Tell me what to do,” Sasuke growls.

The response is savage muttering, and he’s so sure he catches something like that’s some Naruto shit and handsome-stupid. No stranger to her temper flaring bright and subsiding with haste, but his helplessness makes it difficult to keep his dumb mouth shut.

“Sakura!”

“Concentrating.” 

Emerald, soft and with an incandescent, almost mystical texture and glow. There’s something about her skill that roils his gut into abstruse knots of anxiety threaded through with intimidation, spun through with tight, woven pride. In contrast to the coarse and hackneyed way in which he’s healed or handled injury in the past, cowering in caves and sweating out lonely fevers and even the way he’s used another body, sinking his teeth in to rob an unknown and murky power from another vessel. 

But her behavior jerks him back to the present as she squeezes venom from her fucking face into her stupid glass vial and he absolutely cannot believe he’s watching this from the woman he loves, as she gently coaxes it to the surface and manages not to spill a drop despite the shakes settling into her limbs.

“What do I do, Sakura? Tell me.”

She corks the vial with aplomb and offers nothing but a heavy sigh. “Please gently put this back in my waistbelt.”

Now it’s his turn to stare, and though she blinks in the moment his eye flickers and flares to crimson life, it doesn’t frighten her like he thought it might.

“You’re annoying.”

She frowns, and the gentle glow around her fingers brightens a bit. “How could you touch something so bright? Is something like that ever not poisonous?”

“Then what about you? Acting like it’s not a big deal!”

The shrug she gives him makes him clench his jaw, closing his eyes for a moment. Not quite a praying man, but most of the things that are destined to pass his lips will only escalate their bickering.

“There’s nothing to be gained from panic,” she says quietly. “I’ve learned this many times, now.”

And though she’s not and has never been stone cold, he can see the bobbing in her neck after her heavy swallow, the deep breath, the search for calm as the glittering orange comes away in her glowing hand, suspended in-air as the formless shapes of ink blot tests, losing it’s luster as she flicks her fingers and it dissipates into the wind. Harmless.

“And anyway, I’ve played with poison before.”

Grey pallor receding from her face, she smiles at him in a small and faint way that prompts him to ask, again, 

“What do I do?”

She exhales, shoulders slumping, body relenting to the aftermath of adrenaline rush by losing its strict form. “Can you help me?” She nods at a nearby tree. “Need to sit for a moment.”

Miles from home, it seems their paltry disagreements last for the better part of years, but when they’ve burnt out, twinkling out as tiny stars, they know they’re never angry for long.

Underneath the dense foliage of a magnificent, custodial beech tree, they sit quiet for a bit, apologizing without moving their lips — in the buzz of insects, the nostalgic trilling of toads, the whispering of tree leaves.

Sasuke watches her in profile; then, with an unexpected tenderness, tucks her hair behind her ear, dark eyes on the split skin of her cheekbone.

“You haven’t healed this.”

Emerging from what seems like a deep reverie, she nuzzles against his fingers, absorbing his touch.

“I shouldn’t do that with you,” she says, eyes glossy. The threat of tears. “It’s what I do in an emergency — you learn it’s simply not about you, that you’re the one in charge. They’re scared, so you put away your fear and feelings.” Her eyes swivel to him, offering an apology and asking forgiveness. “They need you to lead, and so you do.” 

Why she hangs on the notion that he might not forgive her, that she needs to ask even silently, he’ll never be able to parse, given the grace he’s been extended from his loved ones and above all of them, her, so many times over. 

“You should know how to do this.” Voice firm, a statement rather than a suggestion. Head still resting against the venerable tree trunk, she continues. “Even basic skill could go a long way.”

“You’re not suggesting—”

“I absolutely am!” she interjects. “What if you need to heal someone and I’m not there? What if I’m incapacitated, and it’s me?” Taking him by the shirt, she pulls him a little closer to drive home the solemnity, the gravity of what she’s implying. “In the future, in a life with new loved ones . . . what wouldn’t you do for them?”

Sasuke’s eyes flicker from her intense eyes to the cut on her cheek, the discomfiting orange glimmer long gone, but the injury still resolutely present.

“Great men,” she whispers, “have died from many benign, simple things.”

Here is what he’d never confess:  She adores him and believes in him more than he deserves. The idea that he’s a good man, a talented one, possessing an unshakeable compass when his narrative has proven, in his view, the absolute opposite. 

That nearly every day, his instinct is to sink into shadows that tug at him, but right on cue she emboldens him to step into the light. 

“You should do it,” he says quietly, aiming for a dissuading tone. “This is your face, I don’t want to hurt you.” Again. As always. 

“I trust you.”

“I can’t do it now, like this.”

“You never listen to me, Sasuke-kun.”

She takes him by the hand — he can feel the warmth of the green glow he’s observed many times, relieving bodies of their healing burdens and broken bones; has seen it used on his good friend, an old sensei, a child’s skinned knee here, an elderly’s poor joint there. A body brought back to life, snatched from the void’s edge of an unknown thing they’ve yet to explore.

And for an otherworldly instant that unwavering devotion is reflected in the eyes he’s woken up to for days and weeks now:  Unshakable belief reflected back to him, a second in which he sees himself as she always does.

“And I’m telling you, you can.”

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

@cosmicmechanism reblogged your post “@ivywing​ replied to your post “Captain America:...”

#they definitely flubbed the analogy by making Steve blame Nick Fury for Hydra being inside of SHIELD #I mean it’s pretty obviously intentional #it’s very difficult to see it not be that way #but this is why I’m critical of the existence of characters like Peggy and Sharon in the comics and the MCU #and why they use Captain America/Steve Rogers of all people to fall in love with them #reading the comics it’s very easy to understand why Sharon was brought into Steve’s life in the 60’s and again in 2004 #it’s reflective of the eras in which this relationship happened #and how Steve could be used to gain the trust of the people (and readers) who believe in him #in this decade however it’s interesting #we can criticize these institutions but there’s a huge gap between that criticism and the characters who represent them #you get called a misogynist for pointing out what they do in the story #that’s playing into the hands of the creators who have an agenda with the characters #Peggy and Sharon represent these institutions #they’re not just female characters who are ‘badass’ #(have I mentioned how much I’m beginning to resent the word ‘badass’? #it’s more often than not being used to describe a female character who has not been fleshed out when they’re either just standing there #or in a badly choreographed fight scene that was designed for them to win despite everything #it’s beginning to seem cheap and weirdly sexist) #they are allegories of the system itself #and having a very anti-establishment character literally get in bed with them sends a message #it’s up to you to figure out what that message is #(and also can we remember where Sharon ends up at the end of CATWS? it’s important) #steve rogers #+.+

There is absolutely something insidious in the fact that the Black man faces consequences and needs to actively work to fix his mistakes, including passing the leadership onto someone else (a white man). The white woman is badass and attractive and wears red lipstick so *crickets*

Of course the female characters are written in a sexist way but I think some people are still stuck in the “Sakura is a bitch” era and don’t realize that nowadays when we criticize a female character we can actually see she’s fictional and a person (man) is writing her.

#(and also can we remember where Sharon ends up at the end of CATWS? it’s important)

Oh, and that. Yep.

[dearcat1]

Bastardology

Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Event: KHR Rare Pair Week 2020

Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki/Xanxus

Summary: Naruto eats Xanxus out of house and home and casually talks no jutsus him. (Not that she realizes, there are more important things to think about, like ramen.)

Story:

"Seriously?" Nobody answers her but Naruto hadn't been hoping for a reply anyway. Kurama's mocking snickers were more than enough, thank you. "Can't a girl have 15 minutes to eat some ramen?" 

That question, too, was rhetoric but it receives an answer regardless. "Hmm, sure?" The guy is a brunette, small and adorable and with a head full of fluffy hair that she has a hard time resisting. The urge to pet him is almost too strong. 

Beside him sits a white-haired man, eating marshmallows leisurely. Naruto recognizes another pranking spirit on sight. "Ooh? And who would you be?" 

"Uzumaki Naruto," and she's too damn hungry to complete the usual introduction. "Where's the nearest ramen stand?" She can deal with the weird interdimensional jump later. Their blank faces are answer enough. Naruto shrugs, she'll find it herself and jumps down the table. "Oh yeah, sorry about your forest." 

So she had been a tiny bit startled when they'd pulled her from Ichiraku. And maybe, just maybe, Naruto might be a little Rasengan happy these days. It's hardly Naruto's fault.

As if on queue, a part of the wall crumbles, the forest after it flattened to the ground, and Naruto blushes, gesturing vaguely towards the door before she leaves, long blonde hair swaying behind her.

One of the guys falls into step with her. Dark hair, are those feathers? Red eyes, scars all over him and angst oozing out of every pore. Great, this one is a Bastard 2.0, Naruto can already tell. She's also a master of Bastard-Speak and the leading expert in the field of "how to socialize your bastard." 

She needs a better name for it. Bastardology? 

Better than anything her father would ever come up with, that's for sure. "Come on," Naruto herds him to where her nose is guiding her. "You're paying for my ramen." This one, at least, doesn't know better yet. 

Bastard 2.0 snorts, not even faltering. 

Naruto rolls her eyes right back. "Of course you will, you guys dragged me here. Take responsibility!"

All he answers her with is a one-eyed glare. 

But as mentioned before, Naruto is an expert in bastardology. "Save it, I'm not one of the fangirls." Bastards always have hoards of them. "They're your friends, believe it." 

To that, Bastard 2.0 grunts incredulously.

"Oh, get over it," Naruto pokes him on the stomach. Bastards need physical and verbal affection, it helps them with their regretful bastardy. That said, nobody needs to know that Naruto is purposefully annoying with it. 

This bastard, though, seems to be more in the lines of Sasuke after the invasion instead of Sasuke after the Fourth War. He pulls out something from his belt and Naruto reacts on instinct, she tanks the attack to keep the civilians behind her safe and barely manages to redirect the Rasengan she was about to ram into his gut. 

"Oh man," she slips his weapon into her pouch and looks despairingly at the crumbling building behind him. This universe is so breakable. So damn breakable. This one was even just a normal Rasengan. "All I want is some damn ramen, you bastard."

That did scorch her a little, though. Which contrary to popular belief, given Naruto's well... Narutoness, is actually pretty impressive. Of course, Kurama is already dealing with it. Speaking off, the energy… it felt like Kurama on a pissy day. 

Nowhere near Kurama's old levels of rage but like a human version of it. You know, instead of a centuries-old chakra monster. 

Bastard 2.0 is looking at her, eyes slightly widened and mouth parted. Damn him, really, are all bastards this pretty? Naruto props her hand on her hip and glares him down, doing her best Ino impression. She's dealt with Kurama when he was the King of Angst, he can deal with Feathered Murder over here. "Well?" 

The guy grunts, sending a pointed look towards her weapons pouch. Naruto, just as pointedly, ignores it. She rolls her eyes, snags him by the wrist and drags him behind her. "Now, you're absolutely paying for my ramen, believe it." She was going to be nice, too. Eat maybe three bowls. Now she's going to empty his wallet.

Not only does she empty his wallet, she pulverizes it. It's no like she set out to be mean about it, alright? She's just been helping with well… pretty much everything. Being a one-woman army has its downfalls. Between working and working and meetings and more working, Naruto hadn't honestly noticed how damned hungry she was. Just that she was.

Which, it turns out, is far too damn hungry. The place is no Ichiraku but the ramen is still good and the cook had no problem sending people out to buy more ingredients as soon as Naruto gave him Feathered Murder's wallet. 

The guy's surprise at Naruto handing it over had been hilarious. She can sort of see why Jiraya did it.

Still, she eats mostly the day away but once she's done, Feathered Murder's wallet back in her hands, she snags him again and decides against wandering. 

They find a nice rooftop with a view of the ocean. Or maybe, it's more accurate to say that Naruto finds it and drags Bastard 2.0 with her but he hasn't left. So there's that. "So… why are you so angry anyway?" 

"What is it to you, trash?" 

Naruto ignores the bite in the tone, ignores the insult. She's been called far worse, there's been more venom in the voices of people that now greet her with a smile of admiration. This is nothing to her. "Nothing, really. I just figured I'm as unbiased as you'll ever get, bastard." She is, after all from another dimension.

Bastard 2.0 watches her in silence for a moment and then drops down to sit by her side, close enough that Naruto can feel his heat. Unlike Sasuke, who ranted his fury at her, screamed it between punches, Xanxus tells her in quite even tones that sound of resignation.

For all that she loves them, Naruto thinks Xanxus would understand her better than Sakura or Kakashi. Though maybe not Sasuke. But they're both up there. But the more he talks, the less Naruto finds herself comparing the two bastards. They are both bastards, of course. 

But Sasuke is her rival, Gaara her best friend. Xanxus? She thinks that if she let out all those dark thoughts Naruto has long kept inside her, Xanxus would understand them quite well.

"You deserved to be Decimo," she tells him, frankly. Because he did. Would he have been a good one? That Naruto doesn't know but if the title was given to the sons of the current leader, adopted or not, Xanxus qualified. "But why did you want to be?"

Or did he ever? Because to Naruto, it sounds more like Xanxus was hurt that it was denied to him in the first place.

Xanxus makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat, something a little disbelieving. And Naruto wishes she could point him to the direction of the swordsman who has been following them since the beginning, discrete as he thought himself to be. But she asked and Xanxus answered so she grabs a hold of his hand instead.

"Growing up," she tells him, staring at the same landscape he's pretending to watch, "the villagers hated me. The demon brat. They would always look at me with those eyes and I hated it, you know?" 

Naruto drags her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them. "The old man used to visit me at the orphanage. The one person who liked me in the entire village. The Hokage. The Third. But for me, he was the old man. Closest thing to family I had." 

"I love him still, and I forgive him," she ignores Kurama listening quietly as well. "But I'm not an idiot. My parents had friends, a student, but none of them approached me. Not once. To protect me, they said. I know now. He was the old man to me but he was always the Third as well."

There's resentment there that she refused to acknowledge to anybody else, "my father sealed the nine-tailed demon inside of me when I was born and since then, I was a container first and his adopted granddaughter second. For the rest of them, I was a weapon, something dangerous, to be wary of." 

Kurama feels worried and she smiles, sending him affection back. "I didn't know, of course. For a long time, I didn't know I was a container. The old man only told me when a traitor spilt the secret and I'll never know if he planned to tell me about my parents. He died before, you know?" 

"But even before I knew, I wanted to be Hokage. I wanted them to acknowledge me, I thought that it'll show them I'm worthy of them. I know now the old man told me that to keep me loyal, I'm not an idiot." No matter what people like to tell her. "But I want to be Hokage still. Just for a different reason." 

Xanxus is full in looking at her now, not even pretending otherwise. "Why? They're shitty people." 

A part of Naruto thinks: I know. "There are people in the village who used to spit at me and now won't stop smiling my way," Naruto tells him, somehow darkly amused. "I don't think I'll ever trust it. But the Hokage is the strongest ninja in the village and I need to be strong. If I am not, how will I protect the friends I finally managed to make along the way?"

And then, impulsively, she sends a smile his way. "I've decided you're my friend, too." Naruto points a finger to his face and watches him go cross-eyed as he leans back. "I'll protect you too, believe it. And kick your ass if you're being too much of a bastard!"

The fist closing on her shirt makes her smile gains teeth. She's expecting Xanxus to throw a punch, she's expecting a somewhat exasperated spar that will leave them both satisfied and her message received. So Naruto lets him drag her to her feet, lets him pull her close. 

What she's not expecting are chapped lips against hers, a hand cradling her cheek. Naruto makes a surprised sound and ignores Kurama's facepalm and mutterings about her tendencies to reform assholes everywhere. She presses closer, going up on her tiptoes to deepens the kiss.

[monstersqueen]

Why is another of my AUs going ‘and here how things are going WORSE for Sasuke’?

Well I’m not sure WHERE it’s going for Sasuke, but he kind stole the show. This was supposed to be “so the chuunin exams happen in Suna, and Naruto’s mini arc of going from ‘terrified of gaara because of the reflection of himself he sees’ to ‘i feel his pain like it was my own’ happens in like two days due to being witness of gaara going murder-happy on his own co-patriots, and decidind that you know, fuck that, he’s on gaara’s side there’. (this is naruto. this is naruto looking at someone who just died gorily, probably undeservedly, and deciding to befriend the killer whether or not said killer change his way. i consider this is early enough in the manga that it’s plausible - especially in this particular situation. Later he’s more “it’s BECAUSE we’re alike i can’t stand your choices”; at this point though, faced with such a mirror of his own situation, it might happen. That’s. probably going to affect his later development in interesting ways)

Meanwhile Sasuke and Sakura are getting the ‘jinchuuriki exist; yes there’s one in konoha; suna is being very stupid to let the identity of their jinchuuriki be so immediately apparent’ lesson. Like, first murder incident, naruto was incredibly subdued while kakashi explained. THere was an exchange like that:

‘so, if there’s a jinchuuriki in konoha, who is it?’

‘well, that’s a military secret you don’t have the clearance for. Right now i’m just hoping ours is less obvious to an outsider’

*silence from naruto*

‘but, if no one knows, no one can treat them differently, right? and if there was someone going that crazy, we would know!’

‘Some people DO know, though. And our jinchuuriki might have better control and less homicidal impulses’

*more silence from naruto*

‘I don’t think we’re well placed to judge the situation. For us, it’s part of the paysage, we probably don’t even notice the way they’re treated’

(yes, this is kaakshi beating himself up)

So, Naruto goign straight to gaara, expressing his fury at the way he’s treated more than his horror at what is doing - that plus sasuke and sakura, who probably wouldn’t have put the pieces together otherwise, knowing how he’s treated in konoha - yeah, naruto is outing his statut as a jinchuuriki to sasuke and sakura, as soon as they think about it - like the ‘everyone treats naruto badly’ thing is usually passive knowledge, and it would not necessarily have tilted with the new information, even with naruto’s unusual quiet, if not for naruto not giving a shit Like, naruto trying to befriend someone who’s dangerous? ok, maybe, it’s naruto, who knows. The way he goes at it, though - that’s personal.

Like, Naruto is 100% aware of what he’s giving away. He’s also not giving a shit. Not if sasuek or sakura realizes, and not if Suna realizes something that’s a Konoha secret. Certainly not that it might put him in danger. He’s not going to say it outright - not until he and Gaara are somewhere they won’t be heard - but he’s also not going to give a crap if it can be understood from his actions.

Meanwhile Sasuke just saw his teammate walk through gore towards a murderer and insistently befriend him. Said teammate, who is usually always trying to get his acknowledgment, is absolutely ignoring him.

Like Sasuke goes from ‘i am terrified of that guy, and now terrified for my friend’ - to teh point he doesn’t immediately reject Sakura’s presence as he would usually do to run from his own feelings to ‘fuck him what is he he’s leaving me behind I DON’T NEED HIM I DON’T NEED ANYONE’ and while sakura is going after him, he’s not in the mood to let himself be cared for, and things are not going to be better for him. Not necessarily worse, but not better.

....i just wanted naruto meeting gaara in suna. I got that! but also i chose Kakashi’s pov, who is now alone in a foreiign village where he’s barely  not an enemy, and also is letting his sensei’s son, his genin, do something not only insanely dangerous but also possibly harmful for konoha. Because he trusts that he can pull it off with no harm for himself, and he considers that if he does, it will be good enough for him to compensate the potential harm to Konoha.

So! Sasuke and Sakura’s development are still on canon rails. Naruto and Kakashi? not so much.