#But again. Homie pls put urself first

[scoups4lyfe]

Hebi Anon

Donbrothers is a show that, by some unfortunate coincidence, seems determined to dig up and expose everything I find traumatic and try to reframe them as jokes.

I was traumatized for good reasons, I do not appreciate them being used for cheap laughs

So, I did see your TW ask Hebi-san. I haven't done anything with it yet because its real personal and I didn't know if you wanted me to post that. But I will at least say that I've read it.

First things first, your thoughts/feelings/opinions are 10 billion percent valid.

Remember to take care of yourself FIRST, my friend.

I know what it's like to get triggered by something in tv shows. Episode 10 was a good example of that. The idea of being replaced and forgotten fills me with unholy fury and rage 🤪.

Another good example would be the first time I watched episode 15 of Revice (not so much anymore lol, cuz I know it was written that way for a reason and thematically I appreciate that). So funny tho cuz other liveblogs were like "True sibling behavior <33" while I was like: "Ikki and Sakura. You two are DEAD to me." (lmao)

So I 10 billion % get where you're coming from.

Thank you for choosing to share something so personal with me. I always appreciate your input.

And yeah,

I understand exactly what you're saying about asking a lot of questions that seem incredibly obvious to some people.

In school there were times I hated certain essay questions or multiple choice questions because it was too ambiguous / abstract for me and I had the constant fear of "this is too vague? What if I answer it wrong?!?"

I feel like the only time I really get stressed/anxious is usually when I have to ask a lot of questions for things I have no understanding for. Mostly because I'll probably ask the same question like 6 times just to make sure. And like you said, others kind of peg you as incompetent when you're like that.

It's rather unnecessary for me to put here, but since you shared something personal, I might as well reciprocate, if only just a bit.

I know why you hardcore empathize with Haruka/Haiku. Absolutely understandable.

For me, it's not that I solely empathize with Tarou -- am I a Tarou apologist? Lol absolutely. But I don't only see just his side.

Often I actually had "?????" times as well about a majority of his actions LOL! But I could tell he was written like that for a reason. Esp with how he's hella coded as being on the spectrum. So I knew that I needed to do a lot of research on topics I knew jack-all about so I could parse out theories/deductions.

(Which is what I've been doing lol)

I think for me, I fall right on that line of being not emotional at all, and also being overflowing with emotions always. Strong emotions tend to fizzle out quickly, like it's impossible for me to hold grudges -- I know, I've tried 🤪.

But because of this I don't get too overly attached to characters. / Situations, because my mind places that in "short term" and I forget about it by the time I wake up . (Unless, of course, it's a re-occurring thing, because then I'm not able to put it on the periphery.)

This gives me a detached way of recollecting/examining things, as the emotions don't come up with the memory I'm recollecting (usually).

So when it comes to Donbrothers, I view most of the situations neutrally. Obv I have my favoritism and what not, but that's because I looked at both sides and chose the one I felt for the best.

I said it once, twice, and I'll say it thrice, but I saw Momoi's attempt at complimenting them > over Haiku's nonsense 🤪.

And this is because out of all the people present, I felt Momoi was the one who took the biggest L in that entire interaction.

It's like I could see behind his eyes, and feel the fear and pain of dying, as well as the anxiety, confusion, etc. over the other team members essentially going "you failed to do this. So fvck you then <3. Have fun fighting alone."

AND THEN, also holding into account the fact that he's been abandoned all his life. And now his teammates are abandoning him over something he has no control over (i. e lying) / something he failed to do (compliment them).

And my heart bled for him and this injustice. ESP seeing how affected (emotionally) he is about it on the rooftop with Sonoi.

I get where the others are coming from. But to me, Momoi was the one hurting the most in the situation, and so I sided with him <3.

Now, on the topic of taking sides.

Just like how you're influenced by your experiences, I believe I'm just built to (mostly) look at both sides of the equation.

I grew up in a very small household (imagine 3 rooms, 1 bathroom and 12 people living there); and my household was/is also filled with mentally ill people.

I say this because, such small space meant A LOT of fights. But you had to 'forgive and forget' quickly cuz if not you'd be miserable for days when the ppl that screwed you over are just fine and dandy. So it's easier for me to forgive and forget than probably a lot of people.

Growing up, I also wasn't able to see myself in/mirror myself from either of my parents. So instead I mirrored myself/found comfort through tv shows. Because I didn't see myself in either of my parents, this also led me through a lot of self-reflection cuz I assumed there had to be something wrong with me (lol).

(Though this was all subconscious. The self-reflection led me to a lot of self-analysis and gave me the analytical lens I have today of viewing things from a more detached perspective)

And for me, instead of asking questions (I do sometimes, and I always have the running commentary in my head anyways) I learned to not ask questions ever.

For example, I stopped asking my mom to help me with my homework because my questions always led to a beating and my mom accusing me of making her do all the work. (RIP <3) And to this day I'd rather die than ask for help LOL.

I also never got diagnosed until literally last year. (Prior to that I didn't realize I had anything like ADHD or Bi-polar), so I was def riding the "I could do so well if I only tried harder and wasn't so lazy <3" train for basically all my life.

I can't say I've ever been bullied (by anyone outside my immediate family <3), and I always had at least 1 friend in all the schools I went to (even if I don't at all remember how I befriended them LOL).

But my traumas being directly related to my family has made it so I can't really hate or despise them. Because, they're my family you know? And they really do try their best.

The worst part is, where I'm at now I can see exactly where they're coming from. Which makes it virtually impossible to hate them for anything because it's like I can see behind their eyes and know their thoughts and feelings and worries, and idk.

I'd say my family is very dysfunctional. I could tell you a normal day in my family's household that would blow the hair right off your head.

The only way I can describe it, is (for us siblings) literally you could mirror us with the Umbrella Academy sibs.

(My older sis is Luther to a T, my younger sis is Five, my younger brother Ben, and everyone in my family unanimously agreed I'd be Klaus LOL)

Another example to what my life growing up was like,,, I'd compare it to being eerily similar to Shameless (U.S vers)'s Gallagher family.

If you. haven't seen any of those shows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

There are youtube compilations LOL.

TLDR;

You didn't deserve the BS you got from those losers at ur school, I get much better now why you don't like Momoi, and I absolutely respect your opinion. Once again, thanks for sharing your experiences. If you want me to post that ask, I will. But only with your permission. Like you, I'm also influenced by my experiences/personality and because of so I'll more than likely continue my Momoi Tarou apologism.

[bbluejoseph]

1. "GOOD DAY"

tone is so cheery but my brain is screaming DEMA PROPAGANDA

the visuals are so cute ahhh

when he. when he singin.

'homie just sued me' is not a lyric i ever expected to hear afjdsklf

'lost my wife and child' in a walmart? in the woods? pls clarify king

drug reference???? bad bitch alert 0_0

2. "CHOKER"

just. are we ever gonna get some background on josh shooting fuckign lasers out of his eyes. idk i feel like it's significant

JIM NO :(((

ok but the first time the chorus hits. damn. d a m n

the bit abt being taken apart and laid out in the sand..... yea

3. "SHY AWAY"

i like the 'shed your modesty/leave ur skin on the floor' bit a lot. everybody's putting up walls and forts and defenses all the time and sometimes its hard to remember u dont have to around the ppl who really love u bc they love u for being u. idk. somethin to think abt

when he slide on the floor GO WHITE BOY GO

i kinda hated long haired tyler at first but like. the second it started growing on me he cut it :|

love the lil guitar bits while the set obviously collapses around them. apocalyptic

the burnt up ski masks!!!!

'when i geeet hooome BOY FYDOU BETTER NOT BE THERE YOURE LOOOOOGNS GONEEEEE'

i dont know where rosies bit is in this song but tyler said its at the start somewhere

WHEN TYLERS JUMPIN ALL OVER THE PLACE AND KICKIN HIS FEET AND SHAKING LIKE A LEAF. YEAAAA THATS THE GOOD SHIT

josh. stick out tongue. babie. 1000/10

4. "THE OUTSIDE"

googled 'the outside' and it gave me some ellie goulding song i forgot i used to like afjdksfl

OH THIS FUCKS

a wiggling/flicking your fingers kinda track

BOP. thats it.

good to bop ur head to

dark but not. too much?

lyrics make me think abt growing old and remembering who u were and if u can get back to that/be able to relate to ppl that age ever again

HOLY SHIT I WASNT EXPECTING THAT RAP YEAAAAAAAAAA

i like how the track and video seem just. SLIGHTLY off? like. more propaganda vibes yknow

i shook my hand so hard my wrist hurts now lmao

UP. AND. DOWN. THEYRE NODDIN

5. "SATURDAY"

3 DRUG REFERENCES AND WE'RE ONLY ON TRACK 5??????

love the fishbowl bit

she said i should change my clothes

the bit abt not being able to feel teh waves anymore,,, dam

JENNA OH MY GOD JENNA

sobbing

shes. jenna. im a lesbian. shieeet

tylers little 'i wanna watch friends with u :c'

6. "NEVER TAKE IT"

insert you are not immune to propaganda meme here

nico has dentures confirmed. there are no dentists in dema. if ur caught with a toothbrush u get eaten by the vultures

love all the pink in the video :)

HE SCREAMED YEAAA

is he yellin at dema. i feel like he is

YEA YEA YEA

'educate urself but never too much'

7. "MULBERRY STREET"

jac this one makes me think of u bc it was ur user ajfdskl

ANOTHER DRUG REF??? tyler u ok. please dont be smoking crack.

where tf is mulberry street

also WHY and i mean this in the nicest way possible does this video/song look like something they play at the end credits of a movie

MORE drug ref?????? hes smoking crack. god damn it

love the watercolor splashes in the video its very cute

so many voices at the end all sayin different things

why does 'keep your bliss/there's nothing wrong with this' sound like more dema bs

8. "FORMIDABLE"

pictures of the boys,,,,

is this a love song. its cute

'ik we just met but can u take me everywhere youve ever been' if im gonna write fic about that. no im not. yeah <3

if this is the one that says 'josh dun' in it im gonna lose my mind

'worried my loyalty will bore you' felt that king

9. "BOUNCE MAN"

before clicking on it i was thinkin abt blur's ice cream man so i guess thats what i was expecting when i hit play lmao

liked the way they drew out the 'iiiiiiiiiiii' at teh beginning

if this abt josh ill cry.

'pop pop pop'

what the fuc is this song about. it cant be clancy right hes fucking dead

10. "NO CHANCES"

OK. this is the one tumblr seems to be going apeshit for so im strapping myself in for this one

OK I HEAR IT. YEA I HEAR IT

THE VIBES. YEAAAAAAAAA

DARK SHIT IM HERE FOR IT

just let him prowl like a lion. hes allowed to be a little evil. as a treat

oh this is dema fr

'we get bodies every day/we want you home in one piece now' is that a threat 0_0

gregorian chanting type shit.

the colors r darker too....

this song is so goddamn DIFFERENT from the rest of teh album. i love it a lot ofc im just wondering why it's in here in this specific way

11. "REDECORATE"

last track. which is good cause i gotta go to the bathroom afjdksl

15 mins til preshow lets goooo

the last track tends to lean in a softer and/or darker tone? source: goner, truce, leave the city

whats the voice at the start saying

is this track corrupted too?

'she had plans to change her name/just not the traditional way' gender alert

ok this ones darkish

tyler are u smoking crack. do u want to talk. so many drug refs im concerned.

i like that the lyrics are all (presumably) in his handwriting

felt this track ogh

;;; tldr: it fucks

abt to listen to sai from start to finish for the first time so lets see how it goes !!! im so excited

[amongthegentlymad]

For everyone in the path of the hurricane

PT 1. ITS COMING

-DONT DO THE STUPID listen to your local authorities and whatnot, if they say evacuate get the hell outta Dodge. secure ur property if u have to leave. unplug electronics, turn off ur breakers, bag up anything u are worried might get wet.

-make sure to fill up ur car with gas, if u can, have a full can of gas on hand also in case u need it.

-fill ur bathtubs with water (useful for emergency supply and also for flushing commodes)

-if u have a generator, test to make sure it is in good working order. make sure u have plenty of fuel.

-tie ur outside stuff down or bring it inside. if it looks like it could go flyin off in a storm it will.

-stock up on drinking water (for urself and pets)

-fill ur meds

-basic stuff to have on hand: paper plates, paper cups, plastic disposable utensils, tinfoil, first aid kit, rubbing alcohol, monies, xtra batteries, flashlights, hygiene items like pads n tampons, soap, dishwashing liquid. iodine tablets for disinfecting water, whistle, important documents in waterproof containers, insect repellent, sunscreen, non-perishable noms (canned foods, pet food, crackers, pnut butter or some kinda sandwich spread stuff that doesn’t require fridge, beans, bread, dried fruit, nuts, chocolate, etc.)

-battery operated radio if possible. also portable chargers for ur phone

-baby wipes. srsly. for keeping cool and washing urself

-battery operated fans are wonderful. 

-have a cooler of some sort around and ice, styrofoam coolers are usually pretty cheap (if you are crafty you can make ur own it also cooks food)

-how to make ur own first aid/survival kit in a prescription bottle

-check to see if you are in an area prone to flooding. u are? get out, get to higher ground. no if ands or buts.

-lower ur blinds, close curtains, stay away from windows. plywood or storm shutters r best. a lot of “ tape or don’t tape? “ concerning windows going around. use ur best judgement. if u gotta tape, tape ‘em good, x shape all the way across the windows. like this. use alligator tape. it is stronk.

-u live on the coast? head inland. get away from bodies of water. 

-have things to do on hand that don’t require electricity. playing cards, books, drawing, tabletop games. that sort of thing.

PT. 2 OH NO STORM IS HERE

-hurricanes coming in at high tide = bad news = worse flooding. listen to news. evacuate if told to evacuate.

-hurricane watch = storm coming in 36 hours or so. hurricane warning = storm coming within next 24 hours

-disconnect all ur electronic equipment if u have to leave and if power starts acting wonky.

-don’t try to drive across flooded roads. no. just no. 

-pls don’t drive in middle of storm. at all. 

-in an apartment? stay on lower levels if u can, in a bathroom or windowless hallway or closet. make sure u kno where ur building’s emergency exits are. 

-mobile homes are the worst place to be in a hurricane. please dont stay there. go to a shelter.

-keep all ur stuff together in a plastic bin in case u gotta hustle somewhere quick.

-have pets in carriers ready 2 go.

-keep ur shoes on.

-wind and rain will steadily intensify

-when the eyewall hits u, its gonna be scary. eyewall is where winds and rain are strongest. stay calm and hunker down.

-tornados can and will pop up in hurricanes. if there’s a tornado warning get in windowless bathroom or closet or cellar or basement IMMEDIATELY. cover urself with blankets or mattresses or pillows. use a bike helmet if u have one.

-it’s suddenly quiet? hooray the storm is over? NO. that is the eye passing over. DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. the wind and rain will start picking up again before u know it. OUTSIDE = NO.

-crazy stuff u might see outside during storm: debris flying through air, rain literally going sideways in one direction and then when the other half of the storm comes, going sideways in the opposite direction. this is why trees will fall. they get wrenched in one direction and then the other.

-we had a pine tree so big three people together couldn’t put their arms around it. a hurricane laid that sucker on the ground. twisted it like a dishrag

-this is probably why its not a good idea to look outside.

-dont look outside.

-stay alert but when the worst is over, try to sleep. 

PT. 3 GOODBYE STORM

-try to get in touch with loved ones and homies. see if they r ok. let them know u are ok. 

-check in with local authorities as well. report outages, flooding, anything that needs to come to their attention. listen for any warnings like contaminated water, flooding, etc. just because the storm is over doesn’t mean the dangers r gone.

-if u are in a shelter, wait until u are told its ok to go home. 

-wear ur shoes or ur wellies or boots if u go outside. use sunscreen. use insect repellent. its gonna be a mess. a hot, bug-infested, wet mess. watch where u step.

-don’t go around downed powerlines u fool. I didn’t tell u how to survive a hurricane just so u can get urself electrocuted.

-stay away from unsteady looking trees or anything that looks like it might fall on u.

-clouds will be in a swirled shape in the sky. wild, huh?

-power’s probably out. use ur generator if you need to, but sparingly. u dont kno how long ur power will be out.  pls do not take the generator inside. fumes will smother u. 

-keep ur fridge closed, open it only when absolutely necessary. same with cooler. if u have any perishables in it, probably good idea to go ahead and eat them or move them to cooler. on average, food is only good at room temp for about two hours. if it smells funky, don’t risk it. throw it out. dont make urself sick. 

-how to make a fire with batteries and steel wool (recommend using outside and please take fire safety precautions. during or after a storm if a fire starts, firefighters will most likely not be able to come help because of downed power line or flooded roads. also why it is risky using kerosene lamps, candles etc. indoors)

-u can also make a simple cooker using rolled up cardboard, a tuna can and melted wax (also use this outside)

- foil packet meals! easy to cook. chop up ur ingredients, fold up in tinfoil, cook over coals or ur cooker.

-woah its a homemade reflector oven

- stay put if u are in no immediate danger. continue to check in with loved ones and homies. remember people will do crazy and bad things in emergency situations. protect urself and those u love. be smart.

-most likely it will be boring. and hot. try to stay cool, stay safe and keep urself entertained until things are back to normal. 

-i’ve been thru several scary hurricanes. it will be ok. u can survive. pls be careful ilu