#part of me still hates me - but i understand he was in a shitty situation

[asterbats]

i think for the shitty scorpion family, their entire dynamic is definitely toxic (heh) but also neither dusk nor bruno is an inherently terrible person? its just that they’re a) horrible together longterm as they are and b) people who should not have had kids.

[potatoplace]

I Hate It Here

ACOTAR x Archeron!Reader

The Afterthought: Chapter 2 | series masterlist

part one | part three | ACOTAR x reader masterlist

Story Summary: You are brought back to Velaris against your will, and forced to stay in the city by your supposed family. You slip into old memories and imaginings of the life you could be living whenever able, terrified of your new situation.

Warnings: suicidal ideation, slight disordered eating, toxic family, shitty Inner Circle, mentions of slut-shaming uhhh I don't think there's anything else

Words: 6.7k

Author's Note: it's heeere I'm so excited for this part! I hope you guys all like it, I know I made a few... choice decisions in certain places lol. Poor girly with the bathtub 😫 but the ending in this part is not near as sad as it was going to be. Hope you like iiiit 🫶

18+ only pls

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You weren't sure how long you had been walking, hardly registering where you were going when he appeared in front of you.

Azriel.

You shook your head at him. You wouldn't consent to going anywhere with him.

Feyre would be the next to accuse you of being a whore if you did...

"Come with me, Y/N. You're going to freeze to death out here," Azriel said quietly, extending a hand to you.

"No. I don't belong there."

He let out a long sigh. "You belong with your sisters. Just come with me. Feyre is worried."

"Feyre is..." You scoffed. "Feyre is worried? Was she worried when I didn't show up for dinner that everyone was at? Or only when I was no longer in that city? Because from where I'm standing, no one in that city has cared for me in months. So no, I don't belong with my sisters. I belong with humans. Now let. Me. Leave," you hissed at him, legs already moving to walk past him and continue your journey.

"You'll die tonight, if you don't come back," Azriel informed you, as though you hadn't already realized that.

"And the world would be just the same without me in it."

Another long, heavy sigh from behind you- then arms were wrapped around your middle, holding you tight as you fought against him with all of your pathetic, human strength. You managed to rip a nail through his wing, causing him to hiss in pain and drop you. Before you could make your way to your feet, he had you in his arms again, this time carrying you through the swirling void of night that accompanied him at all times.

A moment later you were back in that house, in the middle of the living room where the rest of the inner circle was sitting, all eyes on you.

Azriel's arms dropped from your waist in an instant, the warmth of his body leaving your side as he took his place, leaning against the wall next to the fireplace.

"What were you thinking?" Feyre asked angrily as she stood from her spot on a couch next to Rhys. "Do you have any idea of what could have happened to you tonight?"

"Do I-" you shook your head. "Of course I know what could have happened to me, I'm just a human. Any single person in Prythian could kill me if they wanted to."

"So why did you leave?" Rhys asked quietly, in a tone that you knew meant danger.

You turned your eyes back to Feyre, doing your best to ignore her mate who still terrified you. "Do you remember what day it is, High Lady?"

Feyre looked confused for a moment, before understanding filled her eyes. "Oh, Y/N... I... I forgot. We were celebrating finally getting the Illyrians to let females train whenever they want," she explained, but you weren't buying it.

"Oh, well that's fine. You forget the day that I spent over a week preparing for, the entire day cooking for, all to celebrate something that just happened. Did you once think to find me? To invite me to this celebration?" Feyre's silence was enough of an answer for you. "I don't belong here. You should have left me in the human lands, thinking you all died. I would have been happier that way. Nesta and Elain hate me, I cannot speak to Lucien or Cassian out of fear that their mates will kill me, the rest of you ignore me unless I've done something wrong. I do not belong here," you hissed, doing your best to throw all of your hurt and rage into your words.

"You do belong here, Y/N," Feyre said tearily. "You're our sister."

You stared down at her coldly. "Am I? From where I'm standing I am just a weakness for you that you keep close so you won't be hurt. I haven't felt like your sister since I arrived."

"That's not tr-" Feyre started, but you cut her off.

"Take me back."

"What?" Nesta asked sharply from behind you, and you could feel her anger rising, the hairs on your arms standing up.

"Take me back to the human lands. I would rather live alone in poverty than spend one more day living in this place."

"You will not," Nesta snarled, a hand clawing at your shoulder. "You would die within a week with the wall down."

"I managed just fine on my own for three months before Feyre came to get me."

"Nesta is right, Y/N," Rhys said, drawing your eyes back to him. "You will not leave Velaris. Anywhere else is too dangerous for you to be, with your connection to us."

Rage flooded your system like it never had before at the thought of being kept here until you die. "I will not be kept like some prisoner in this city. I refuse."

"You have no choice," Feyre said softly, the final nail in the coffin.

"Then kill me," you said, fully hoping that they would. "Kill me and put me out of my misery, if I am not able to leave this horrible place. I do not belong here, and I do not want to belong here anymore."

Tears were pouring down Feyre's face at your confession, the last sight you saw before you slipped into darkness.

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When you woke, your body was warm, resting underneath blankets on a comfortable bed.

You could almost imagine that you were back in that hut, surrounded by your sisters as you huddled for warmth.

But it was wrong... your face was too warm, no longer chilled by the slight breeze that rattled through the house in winter, and there was no soft, quiet breathing from your sisters sleeping.

You opened your eyes, met with the familiar pale blue ceiling of your bedroom. You would guess it was the early morning, with how dark it was.

What happened...?

It was difficult, getting your brain to remember how you ended up in your bed... After all, you had hardly slept in it ever since Elain had snapped at you so many months ago, the idea of another door keeping you safe too comforting to not indulge in.

But once you remembered... ice cold terror flooded your body.

You had been in the middle of yelling at Feyre- at all of them. And suddenly now you were in your bed?

Rhysand had used his powers on you.

And you were helpless to stop it.

You turned onto your side and curled into yourself for a moment, hoping that making yourself smaller would be enough to loosen the fear gripping your heart. After a minute, you gave up, standing from your bed and pulling a thick blanket and soft pillow with you into the bathroom, making your safe little nest in the bathtub.

The blanket and pillow you had used last were still there, adding extra cushion and much needed warmth to the metal tub.

So you curled up, a pillow at your back and your knees pulled to your chest as you huddled under one blanket and pulled the edges of the bottom one up, cocooning yourself in soft cotton.

Sleep found you easily, your body and mind exhausted still from the disappointment and realizations of last night.

Your dreams were filled by half memories, half imaginings of being back in that little run down cottage, your sisters and father around you as you huddled in front of the fire, drinking hot water from chipped mugs.

"Y/N?" Feyre's voice asked, waking you from your sleep. You raised your head for a moment, considering answering her. But your recent interactions with her had you placing your head back on its pillow, tucking your knees further against your chest, ignoring the way your body had started to ache. She knocked on the bathroom door once, twice. "Just... come out when you're ready, Y/N. There's breakfast downstairs if you'd like." Feyre sighed, loud enough for even your ears to hear, but walked away, leaving you in blissful silence.

You let yourself drift off again, conjuring images of you curled up in front of the fire, your head in your father's lap just how he'd let you when you were a child.

The next time you woke, your bladder forced you awake, and by the time you had relieved yourself the muscles in your body were screaming for some kind of movement. You walked around your room for a few minutes and stretched your body, sighing as some of the tension left it.

All too soon, your stomach was growling at you, angry with you for having ignored it for... however long you had been asleep.

Sighing, you moved back to the bathroom and disassembled your makeshift bed, replacing the fabrics where they initially belonged so that you could bathe before going downstairs.

The last thing you wanted was for Nesta and Elain to make snide comments at you.

You tied your hair up in a bun- you didn't feel like going through the effort of washing it at the moment. After drawing the bath, tendrils of steam coming from the water, you stripped yourself of the pink dress you had worn for Bounty Day and slipped into the water. Your muscles eased quickly, the heat of the bath drawing out the stress they carried.

You nearly fell asleep again, and if not for the gnawing of your stomach you would have let yourself, as the tub had an enchantment to keep the water warm until emptied. But you forced yourself to wash, using a soft cloth and a lovely lavender and orange soap bar that you had picked out a few months ago while shopping for Nesta's birthday.

Once you deemed yourself clean enough, you stood from the bath, nearly slipping as you stepped out. A disappointed sigh left your lips and you shook your head at your foolish, human clumsiness.

You dried off quickly and padded back into your bedroom. You slipped on a simple white cotton dress, and a pale pink dressing robe over the top. After putting on your slippers, you stood in front of the door, steeling yourself for whatever you would face outside of your room. A deep breath in, then out, and you opened the door, stepping into the hallway.

The walk to the kitchen was quick, and it was blissfully empty when you entered. You set about making a pot of tea for yourself, bringing water to a boil in a kettle on the stove. While it was heating up, you grabbed one of the trays used for when someone wanted breakfast in bed and placed a teapot and cup on it, as well as a bowl.

You looked around the kitchen, scrunching your face at the options available. Your eyes caught on the windows looking out to the garden, noting the stars in the sky.

Just how long had you slept for...?

Shaking your head, you turned back to the bowl of fruit sitting on the counter. Your hands reached for an apple almost big enough in size that you couldn't grasp it.

You grabbed a small cutting board from a cabinet and a knife out of the block, then washed the apple before setting it on the board. The kettle was just starting to whistle, and you removed it from the heat before it could wake anyone sleeping upstairs. After you measured out a small amount of tea leaves into the teapot's helpful strainer, you poured enough water in to make at least three cups of tea. You were making a soothing lavender and chamomile blend, one that never failed to send you to a dreamless sleep after having a few cups.

Leaving it to steep, you returned to the cutting board, carefully cutting the apple into small slices. Once it was cut, you placed the slices into the bowl on your tray, then washed the cutting board and knife, leaving them in the drying rack.

You removed the strainer from the teapot after deeming it to be strong enough, and emptied the leaves into the trash before washing it as well.

All that was left was to carry your bounty upstairs, without waking a soul.

Tray in your arms, you made your way back up the stairs and into your bedroom, letting out a small sigh of relief once you had closed the door behind you. The tray was placed on your desk, and you took your seat.

The first pour of tea was always your favorite, as it was always at the perfect temperature. You brought the steaming cup of tea to your lips, closing your eyes as you took the first soothing sip, letting the warmth of it wash over you.

The apple was delicious, crisp and sweet and tasting of autumn. You made sure to savor the taste- you weren't sure when you would next venture out of your room, seeing as you were still terrified to see any who would be in the River House.

Even your sisters... Though Feyre was the main change, you supposed, seeing as she had let her mate use his powers on you, when she had promised that neither she or Rhys would ever do so.

Your second cup of tea was still warm and soothing as you finished off the apple, but when you got to the third and final cup, it was only lukewarm.

A problem that any of your sisters would surely be able to solve...

By the time you finished your tea, you were tired enough to fall back sleep, but first you forced yourself to return to the kitchen, feet stepping carefully on your journey to stay undiscovered. You washed your dishes quickly and returned the tray to its rightful place, then made your way back upstairs.

Your door was shut behind you, another successful mission in avoiding those you once considered family.

The bathtub had dried, and you brought your blankets and pillows back in with you, reassembling your makeshift bed once again. Your crawled between the blankets, content to stay between them forever as warmth cocooned you. Your mind drifted, once again conjuring scenes of you living with father once more, tending to your little herb garden and cooking to your hearts content.

Two weeks- or perhaps more- passed in the same manner, with Feyre knocking on your bathroom door every morning or so and waking you from your slumber. In the nights you would crawl from your blankets and return to the kitchen for a pot of tea and whatever fruit or vegetables were available and easy enough to eat without cooking.

Your stomach had protested loudly for the first week before settling back into the cold, quiet hunger that your body had adapted to for most of its life.

One morning, your solitude was broken by Morrigan pounding on your bedroom door, jolting you from your sleep and driving fear into your heart.

"Come to the door, Y/N, or I won't leave!" She yelled from behind the wood, persistent knocks following her words.

You sighed and turned your head back into your pillow, determined to ignore her.

"I brought you tea! Please just come to the door, Y/N? You can tell me to leave and take the tea, even," the fae offered, and your stomach rumbled in response.

Tea... wouldn't be bad, you thought to yourself.

But you hadn't bathed...

Morrigan's knocking only grew louder as you debated with yourself, fear and hunger warring in your mind.

"Y/N!"

You grumbled to yourself as you rose from your spot, shouting "I'll be right there!" when her knocking somehow continued to increase in volume. You opened the bathroom door and headed to your wardrobe, tugging a dressing gown over your nightgown.

Turning the door's handle was difficult, fear of the unknown still lingering in your gut, but the blonde on the other side of the door was in fact holding a tray of tea when you finally managed to open the door.

"Good morning!" Morrigan chirped, a bright smile on her face as she met your eyes. Her warm chocolate eyes seemed genuine, allowing some of the tension in your body to leave as you looked at the tray.

A pot of tea, two cups, and a plate of diced fruit, cheeses, and smoked meats.

She obviously wanted to join you... And she had been kind enough to bring you not only tea but food as well. That made up your mind.

"Would you like to come in?" You asked quietly, stepping aside to let her into your bedroom.

"I would love to, thank you Y/N." Morrigan breezed in and placed the tray on top of your bed before taking a seat on one side, feet pulled up so she was sitting with her legs folded in front of her.

You shut the door and followed her, taking a seat on the opposite side while she poured tea into a cup. She handed one to you first, warmth instantly flowing into your fingers, before pouring her own.

You took a small sip, closing your eyes at the bright taste of mint and ginger. "I... Thank you, Morrigan."

"Oh, call me Mor, Y/N. And it was really no trouble, I've..." She paused. "I've wanted to talk to you, check in on you after everything that happened. I know that we haven't talked much, since you came to Velaris, but I would like to change that. I know what it is like to feel so out of place that you can barely fathom living... I know how difficult it can be, when you don't have the support you need," Mor confessed. "I do wish I had noticed how uncomfortable you felt, before you had to tell us so bluntly."

Tears pricked your eyes as she talked. You wished it had been the same, as well.

"It isn't your fault, Mor..." you sighed. "You don't have the same... Not responsibility to me, but the past connection. And it is not as though you were the one to bring me here."

Mor gave you a sad smile, her eyes understanding. "I know, but you are a part of this family, and you are supposed to feel like you are as well."

You nodded your head in agreement, though you didn't quite agree. You felt... You felt as though your family had been lost to you, long before you came to Velaris.

The two of you sipped on your tea in a comfortable silence for a while, your eyes darting down to the small spread of food frequently, until your stomach made its discomfort known. Loudly.

Instead of Mor reprimanding you for it, or telling you to eat, she simply began eating herself- something you were grateful for. You followed her lead, slowly eating a few pieces of what she had brought up. Between the food and the several cups of tea, your stomach felt pleasantly warm and full, more than it had been in a long while.

"I have an idea, if you're up for it," Mor offered once the two of you had finished both the tea and food, her brown eyes looking at you hopefully.

"What did you have in mind?" You asked, mind already wandering to what she might ask you. Maybe a favor for Feyre, to get you to talk with her?

"I have a little skincare routine that I do every morning, and even though your skin is absolutely gorgeous as is, I thought that maybe you would like to join me? It's one of the few things that helps me feel a bit better when I'm having a rough day."

You blinked at her for a moment, the idea of her wanting to spend more time with you not having crossed your mind.

"I... I'm not sure that I would be any good at it..."

"Oh, nonsense! It's pretty simple, and I'll help you out with it. And if you hate it, we can stop at any point. Please?" She asked with so much sincerity that you nodded in agreement. The smile on her face when you did made you feel nice, and like she wasn't being forced into spending time with you.

"Yay!" Mor cheered. "I'll be back with everything in a few minutes. Do you want me to bring another pot of tea as well?" Mor asked, a sparkle in her eyes.

"If it's not any trouble for you, please," you replied, eyes tracking her as she stood from your bed and brought the tray back into her arms.

"Of course it isn't, Y/N. I'll be back in a little bit, okay?"

You nodded, and stood from the bed to open the door for her, shutting it softly behind her.

So far... This morning was nice. Mor is nice.

She returned in a few minutes, a fresh pot of tea and her supplies on the tray.

Over the next hour, she helped you cleanse and moisturize your skin, doing the same herself. You felt silly at first wearing the clay mask that she had spread over your face, but seeing Mor in it as well made you feel giggly, the two of you laying on your bed and talking about clothes. She made you promise to let her take you shopping once you felt ready to leave the house again, and you had her promise to teach you to do your makeup- though in softer colors than the bold reds and black that she preferred.

You drank most of the second pot of tea, happily consuming it, and along with the pleasant company of Mor, you were feeling warmer and more alive than you had since Bounty Day.

"So... Do you feel a little better?" Mor asked after you had both rinsed your faces and applied one last layer of moisturizer, this one smelling of strawberries.

You thought about it for a moment- you felt lighter than you had in months. "I do. Thank you again, Mor. This was really nice," you said, a small smile on your lips as you looked at her.

"Good, I'm glad. If you want to do it again, say... Tomorrow, just let me know," Mor said with a bright grin on her face.

"I... I'd like that very much, Mor," you said sheepishly, still in slight disbelief that she wanted to spend time with you.

"I'll stop by at the same time tomorrow, then." Mor gathered her things and left your room, leaving you in silence once more.

As much as you had enjoyed her company, you felt... tired, now. You glanced out the window, noting that snow was falling on an already thick layer coating the ground and buildings below.

You hadn't known it had snown at all recently.

With a shake of your head, you brushed that thought off and returned to the bathroom, your blankets-

Oh gods, you thought to yourself. Did Mor notice?

You were slightly ashamed that you felt unsafe enough to sleep in the perfectly comfortable bed you had been given, but... You couldn't bring yourself to care enough to move back into the bedroom to sleep. Instead, you burrowed yourself into your blankets once again, telling yourself that someday you would sleep in the bed again.

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Your time with Mor the next morning became a daily occurrence for the next week, and a way for you to better tell the passing of time.

Feyre had stopped coming to your bathroom door every morning, replaced instead by the blonde that you were getting closer to considering a real friend.

One morning, you woke early enough to take a bath before Mor showed up at your door. You had just finished dressing when you heard arguing outside of your door.

"I will not ask her for you, Feyre. You can go in there and ask her yourself, but I am not going to use my friendship with her for your benefit. Once you work up the balls, come back. She might talk to you then," Mor said angrily to your sister.

That shocked you.

"I'm not trying to use-" Feyre paused. "Fine, I will come back later."

"Good. Now go away, I don't want you to scare her."

A few seconds later, Mor knocked on your door. You opened it, and found her carrying the usual- a pot of tea, plate of food, and plenty of her skincare products.

Besides her argument with Feyre, your morning together went as usual, and you had nearly forgotten about the incident until Mor was about to leave.

A knock on the door had both Mor's and your heads snapping to it.

Mor sighed. "I should be going, then, Y/N. Just... Hear her out, for a moment at least?"

Your scrunched your nose up but nodded. "Thank you, Mor. Will I see you tomorrow?"

Mor's head bobbed as she picked up her things. "Yes, but the next few days I'll be staying in the Hewn City, they tend to get a little more problematic the closer we come to Starfall," Mor explained.

Your heart sank a little bit, but you smiled at her anyways. "I hope it goes well. I know you don't enjoy being there much." You almost wished you could go with her, to be out of this city for a little while.

"Thank you, Y/N," Mor said with an appreciative smile. "Would you get the door?"

"Of course." You did so, opening it to see a nervous looking Feyre. Mor passed by her and headed down the hallway. "Would..." You hesitated. "Would you like to come in?"

Feyre smiled at you, one filled with tension. "I would, thank you." She followed you into your room, closing the door behind her and coming a few feet into the room, leaving at least your height's distance between you. "I wanted to speak with you about something- well, ask you something, more."

"Okay..."

"I- Would you be willing to come to dinner tomorrow night?"

You stared at her in confusion. "Why tomorrow?"

Feyre's brow furrowed at your question. "It's your birthday tomorrow."

Oh.

You had forgotten your own birthday. It didn't surprise you much, with how distant your mind had been recently. Only in the past week had you fully recognized the passage of time, thanks to Mor's visits each morning.

"Oh, uhm... I-" you paused. Dinner would mean... seeing Nesta and Elain and Rhys. "Uhm. Would... Who would be there...?"

"All of the Inner Circle, I think," Feyre replied, a frown on her face when she saw your own. "What's wrong?"

You were silent for a moment, trying to come up with something that wouldn't make you sound as weak as the truth. But nothing came to mind quickly enough, with Feyre still staring at you with her worried blue eyes.

"I'm... I'm afraid of Nesta and Elain... And Rhys," you admitted, looking at the floor.

Feyre sighed. "I'm sorry about what I had him do, Y/N. I really, truly am. You were just so panicked and talking-" Feyre paused to close her eyes, one tear making its way down her cheek. "Hearing you explain how you were feeling, I wanted you to have time to calm down some. I didn't... I didnt know how horribly you feel living here, Y/N."

It was your turn to sigh. "If... If you get Nesta and Elain to behave- or at least not say anything nasty to me- I will come to dinner."

"Really?" Feyre asked, her watery eyes looking into yours. "I was already able to convince Elain to bake a cake for you- your favorite, white chocolate raspberry. And Nuala and Cerridwen were more than happy to make your favorites."

Your heart lifted in your chest. "You really planned a dinner for me?" You asked hopefully, willing them to not be crushed.

"I did, Y/N. It's the least I could do, with everything I haven't been doing."

You nearly reached for her, to pull her into a hug. But-

You were still afraid, still upset at being kept in Velaris.

She would have to earn your trust back.

"Thank you, Feyre. I'll see you tomorrow night."

Feyre nodded at you, a small smile on her face. She turned to leave, but paused before she did, as though she wanted to say something else. Instead, she left your room, shutting the door softly behind her.

Dinner tomorrow...

You sighed. It will be fine. It has to be.

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The next morning, you woke with an awful cramping in your stomach, your body feeling slightly like you had the flu.

One use of the restroom proved that was not so.

Your cycle had come.

On your birthday. Just your luck.

Thankfully you had woken early enough that Mor was likely still sleeping, the sun's rays just barely peeking over the horizon.

You could take a bath. A nice, scalding bath to soothe the aches of your cycle. And you did just that, soaking in the water until the sun had risen.

Still, you felt dirty climbing out of the bath. Every cycle, you felt more and more disgusting with each vile look Nesta and Elain would throw at you.

Nesta and Elain... You would have to see them today.

Tears filled your eyes at the thought of dealing with them later.

At least you would still have your morning with Mor.

You finished dressing just before Mor arrived, tying your dressing gown as she knocked on your door.

"Good morning, Y/N," she said after you let her in, her arms filled with the usual fare. "Do you want a pain potion or anything, sweets?" Mor asked after she set the tray down on your bed.

"No, I'll manage fine," you said, still disappointed that everyone else can scent your cycle.

Mor nodded her head in understanding. "Well, if you change your mind, feel free to come to me for one. I know your cycles aren't quite like mine, but they're painful nonetheless. But for now, Y/N, I'd like to wish you a very happy birthday. Feyre says you're turning twenty?"

You bobbed your head in confirmation as the two of you took your seats on your bed. "Yes, we're just a few days under a year age difference." Mor poured out tea for the both of you, today it was your favorite lavender and chamomile blend. "Do you... Do you know what Feyre has planned for this evening?" You asked nervously.

If you knew what to expect, maybe it wouldn't be as bad.

"Well, there's the dinner, obviously, and I do believe that we all got you a gift- at least I did, and Elain made a delicious looking cake for you! I do think that's all, though, Feyre thought you wouldn't like a huge celebration right now."

"Feyre would be right... I'm nervous enough as it is..."

Mor smiled softly at you. "You know what will help with that?"

"What?"

"Doing our skincare! It'll get your mind off of tonight!"

You shook your head at her. "I should've guessed, Mor," you laughed, but followed her into the bathroom anyways.

And Mor was right, as she usually was.

The two of you dozed off on your bed while you had masks on, only waking up once Mor accidentally kicked you in her sleep.

The two of you were still giggly by the time she left your room, your spirits much higher thanks to the lovely blonde that had become your friend over the past week.

By the time dinner rolled around, you were cramping more than before, and feeling absolutely exhausted from keeping yourself awake all day.

You hadn't realized how tiring just being awake was, even with your mind traveling back to that little cottage for most of the day.

Still, you bathed once more, a quick one this time, and dressed in a modest, dark green dress.

Now the difficult part... Making it downstairs. In the daytime.

Your hand rested on the doorknob longer than you cared to admit, your body warring with your mind, knowing who was waiting downstairs.

You managed to get out of your room, very slowly making your way downstairs as dread filled your stomach.

Surely Feyre could get your sisters to behave for one night, right?

The dining room of the River House was packed when you finally entered, the entire Inner Circle being present along with Nuala and Cerridwen.

Good- two extra friendly faces could never hurt.

"Y/N!" Feyre exclaimed when she spotted you, and she quickly made her way over to you. Her hands clasped yours. "I'm so glad you came down, sissy," Feyre said, using the old nickname she had given you.

"Me too," you replied, only half meaning it.

"Well, dinner is just about ready if you want to take a seat. Mor and I saved a seat between us for you, if you'd like?" You nodded and let her lead you to your chair, which was next to an excitedly bouncing blonde.

"I can't wait to give you your presents, Y/N. I think that mine are the best!" She boasted.

Your nose crinkled as you smiled at her enthusiasm. "I'm sure everyone's presents are nice, Mor."

"Yes, but mine are the best. You'll see after dinner."

"I'm sure I will..." You said quietly, and it was then that you noticed the eyes on you.

All of the eyes on you.

Nesta was looking at you like she wanted to stab you, or perhaps burn you alive with her silver flames. Elain's look had less outright hatred, but hurt all the same.

Still, they said nothing.

Thankfully, Rhys's eyes looked more concerned than angry, as they had been the last time you had seen him.

You turned your eyes to your plate. White porcelain with delicate silver flowers painted onto the rim. Pretty.

"So, what all do you want?" Mor asked a few minutes later, drawing you back into the present.

You looked up and noticed that dinner had been served, all of your favorite dishes that Nuala and Cerridwen had made for you since you met them on the table.

"A little bit of everything...?" You said, unsure if that would be okay. No one stopped Mor from loading up your plate with a whole lot of everything, leaving you with a dauntingly full dish set in front of you.

There was no way you could eat all of that in one go, with the way you had been eating... Or rather, avoiding eating recently. The most consistent meals you had were your small breakfasts with Mor.

You resolved yourself to eat a small amount of each, and see how you feel then. After all, there was still Elain's best cake to have later.

The dinner was more pleasant than any you remembered, though you hardly spoke to anyone. Mor and Feyre seemed to have picked up on how anxious you were, both of them touching your arm or hand to draw you back to the moment when you stared at your plate too long.

But then it was time to retire to the living room, you seated on the couch across from the fireplace that you had avoided for so long now...

Gifts were given, more than you had anticipated.

Feyre, Elain, and Nesta had all gotten you cookbooks. Feyre's was of traditional Night Court recipes, your favorites marked with bookmarks. Elain had gotten you one on desserts of the Solar Courts. And Nesta had gotten you a book of soup recipes.

All of them would be thoughtful... If they had taught you to read.

Still, you smiled when you opened each one and said thank you, though your heart had sank lower at the reminder that they had forgotten your illiteracy, had forgotten that you barely knew your letters, if that.

Amren's present was next, a pretty set of pink opal jewelry. You smiled at the tiny fae, barely managing to meet her eyes. She was still... unsettling, though she had never done anything to you.

Then Rhys presented his, a book of human fables, explaining that Feyre had mentioned how much you had adored them as a child.

That much was true, but... It was the same problem as with the cookbooks. You thanked him but refused to meet his eyes.

Cassian was next, who had gotten you a box of sweets from the chocolate shop you had gone to a few times, all of them ones that you had ordered more than once. It was thoughtful enough, and you knew if he'd gotten a more personal gift, Nesta might have...

You didn't want to think about that.

Azriel was next after Mor told him that she would be presenting her presents last no matter what. He had gotten you a beautiful teapot and set of teacups, all enchanted to keep the tea at the perfect temperature for up to twelve hours. The bottom was a pale pink that faded into white at the top, with delicate irises painted on the sides. It was perfect.

Along with it, he presented you with a large box of different tea samples.

"Whichever ones you enjoy, let me know and I will buy you full sizes of them, alright?" Azriel asked after presenting you with it, and you nodded in agreement. "Thank you, Azriel."

There were at least ten teas you had never tried before, though these were all from a store that you had never been to.

To say you were excited for all of the new flavors would be an understatement.

Mor sighed after seeing his present. "Mine ties for first, I suppose... Here, Y/N," she said, handing over a large box to you.

You opened it, eyes widening at what was inside. It contained a beautiful pink bedding set, all of the fabric so soft to the touch you wanted to bury yourself in it the moment you felt it. There was a second blanket, one that was buttery soft and in a pale purple.

These would be a wonderful addition to your bedding.

"And... Here," Mor said as she gave you a large bag, this one filled to the brim with skincare and makeup products. "I wanted you to be able to keep up the routine, even while I'm gone. And I picked out some shades I thought would look pretty with your skin tone."

"Thank you, Mor." You leaned over to hug your friend who was seated next to you, so happy that she had thought of you so much.

"It's my pleasure, Y/N."

A few moments later, your presents were covered in shadows before disappearing, and you looked to Azriel.

"They're in your room, I thought it would be easier to have them taken up for you," was his answer. You nodded in acknowledgement.

"How about cake now?" Feyre said excitedly, clapping her hands together as she stood. "Elain, come help me?"

Elain started to follow Feyre, but as Feyre passed Cassian he held out a hand to stop her, nose tilted to the air.

"Feyre... Is...?" He took a few more deep sniffs. "Oh mother, are you pregnant?!" He asked, standing up and embracing her before she could confirm or deny.

"Oh, Feyre, congratulations!" Elain exclaimed, the next to hug her.

"Yes, yes, I'm pregnant," Feyre said shyly. "I wasn't planning to-"

"We have to celebrate!" Cassian announced, already pulling Feyre into the kitchen where everyone else followed.

You were excited for your sister, of course you were... But it stung, seeing the first time you had seen everyone in so long become a celebration of Feyre so quickly.

You said a quick congratulations to Feyre, though you weren't sure she heard you over the tenfold increased volume in the kitchen.

Then you made your way upstairs, back to your room, back to your bathtub.

At least you had a new blanket to keep you company, and new tea to have the next time you woke.

So you settled in, snuggling down into your now cozier makeshift bed. There was less fear in your heart, now that the obligation of seeing people was over. But the cramps were ripping through you, causing you to curl in tightly on yourself. Maybe you should have asked Mor for a potion after all...

Until you drifted off, you could hear them celebrating below, another reminder of how out of place you still feel.

General Taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @lilah-asteria @meritxellao

ILIPW taglist: @darkbloodsly @angelbunny222 @uniquedreamsblog @romantasyreader28 @that-one-bibliophole @idkmyoldonewasembarassing @deathtopistachios @saltedcoffeescotch @sleepylunarwolf @babypeapoddd

[ffrostedfflakies]

Back to you - Nanami Kento

Summary: You and your ex husband nanami reunite after your divorce.

Pairing: Nanami kento x fem!Reader

Cw: MDNI!!! Afab reader, exhusband!Nanami, makeup sex, cunniligus hes a bit possesive but thats bc he missed you, kinda angsty idk, mating press, pet names

Word Count: 2k

A/N. I got my flatmate to help me out with this one (esp the smut since this was my first time writing)

Enjoy! If there are any mistakes PLEASE lmk

Being a divorcee before thirty was never on your list of life plans. It was just something you never really seemed to consider. You though you would have your average happily ever after – a good husband, white picket fence house and maybe some children.

But sitting in your lawyer’s office preparing to sign the divorce agreement alongside your (now) ex-husband, you start to feel this pressure in your chest.

It hurts.

You don’t even fully understand why that is- YOU were the one who asked for the damn divorce in the first place!

 You distinctly remember the day – You and Kento were just sitting, opposite one another in silence, your eyes glued to the Tv, and Nanami engrossed in a book he recently started, not interacting with one another whatsoever. You had just finished eating dinner, with Kento uttering a quiet ‘thank you’ when he was done.

You hated it.

So, with no forewarning whatsoever you blurted out: “I want a divorce.”

Kento’s head shoots up, his eyes showing a flicker of confusion before fading away.

“…. okay.”  He muttered.

Snapping out of the memory you refocus to your current situation, your hand slightly trembling and you reach for the pen to sign the papers. 

‘A clean break.’  you think ‘This is what we need. A clean break from all of this. It’s for the best.’

But you don’t even believe that. You haven’t believed that since the day you asked for a divorce. Your heart wants him, so, SO badly. But for once, you need to follow the rational part of yourself. You weren’t happy. Not for a long time. Ad you couldn’t stay in that “partnership” anymore.

You finally sign the papers, after what felt like forever, signing away the last few years of your life as if they meant nothing, the pen feeling 200 times heavier than usual.  You take one last look at your (now) ex-husband, only to see him with his head facing downwards, staring into nothing.

Almost as if he refused to look at you.

You hear Nanami scribble his signature before the lawyer allows you to leave. Walking out (or at least you think you were, everything and everyone in the office was a blur) everything seems muffled; you can’t hear anything.

You have to get outside.

Stepping out into the bustling street you relish in the noise of cars honking, people commuting to wherever they need to go.

You locate your car parked right near the entrance and wrench the door open, haphazardly throwing your belongings in the back seat. Strapping yourself in you drive off.

You can finally breathe.

And you refuse to acknowledge the figure of your ex-husband in the rearview mirror, staring.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Several months later.

You had been wallowing in your sorrow for several months when your friends decided that enough was enough and something had to change.

So, here you were at 10pm on a Friday night, suck in a dress that is seemingly two sizes too small, stuck at a shitty, seedy bar, nursing a Manhattan while your friends chatter away right next to you. (It had been a while since you went out like this considering you were, you know, married.) It was overwhelming, tiring even.

You really weren’t cut out for this.

Looking around the bar you see numerous people seeming to enjoy their Friday night, either nursing a drink, or chatting with friends or colleagues.

That’s when you saw him.

Your ex-husband.

Sitting all alone seemingly nursing his Jack Daniels. He looked the same, still amazing. Slightly dishevelled and tired but that looked so good on him. You feel the pull, that invisible string that always used to draw you to him.

You feel your feet moving almost as if you were possessed, pulling you towards him. You couldn’t explain this feeling. This need to be near him, close to him.  Perching yourself at the bar you smell a trace of sandalwood. The same perfume you gifted him all those years ago, as an anniversary gift.

‘He still uses it?’

You even remember the day you gave it to him.

Nanami had just came home from work, stepping into the foyer sighing with exhaustion when he notices the dimly lit lounge, with fake candles scattered all around the room. You stumbled in, oven mitts still on and an apron that said ‘kiss the cook’ wrapped your waist. You gasped in surprise at your husband’s appearance, and you run to greet him. You wrap yourself around his firm waist inhaling his musky scent mixed in with the smell of the outside world.

“Babe! I didn’t know you would be home so early!”

“Darling, its 10 o’clock.” He responded dryly with a smile.

“Oh really?” You peer at the hallway clock, “Time must’ve flown by whilst I was cooking.” You responded.

“What’s the big occasion for you to be cooking up a storm like this?” he asked.

“Theres no way you’ve forgotten.” You move to look up at him “It’s our anniversary obviously!” you point to the small calendar handing nearby. The current date circled multiple time in red sharpie with the words ‘anniversary’ scribbled below.

Your husbands face blanches, going slightly pale in the process.

“There’s no way I could’ve forgotten…I literally had it marked on my calendar and set a notification to remind me!” he mutters to himself.

You chuckle a little, “Babe it’s okay. I know you would never forget about something like this, I know you. Work has been making you quite overwhelmed recently, you mentioned that recently remember?”

Nanami rubs his head slightly, looking like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He sighed, nodding slightly in response.

You unwrap your arms from his waist before taking his hands in yours and guiding him to the lounge before pushing him to sit on the couch.

You jog slightly to the kitchen to grab your dinner, a large tray of lasagna with some garlic bread and salad on the side, placing on the main table before grabbing the plates and cutlery as well as a bottle of wine and some glasses. Leaving your apron in the kitchen.

You begin to try and serve Nanami before he takes the spatula from your hands glaring slightly at you, but with no malice in those amber eyes of his.  Letting him take over you watch as he deftly serves you and himself.

.

.

.

.

Having enjoyed the meal you prepared, you and Nanami were sitting on the couch in each other’s embrace when you move back slightly, reaching behind the pillows.

“I have one more gift for you. Close your eyes and put out your hands.” You whisper.

Your husband obeys your instructions when you place a cool glass bottle in his hands.

He pries his eyes open to find a small bottle of Guerlain l’homme men’s perfume.  

“Darling this…this is..”

“…Do you like it?”

He turns to look at you, “I absolutely love it, thank you so much.” Giving you the warmest smile you’ve ever seen, he places a kiss on your forehead.

“I’m glad.” You respond.

Let’s just say, Nanami definitely made up for forgetting about your anniversary that night.

.

.

.

Snapping back to the present you realise that the two of you were looking at each other intently, both just analysing the others features.  You both felt it, that pull, that desire-

That lust.

 You don’t even know how you both ended up in this situation. In some rundown motel, not too far from the bar, alone with your ex-husband trailing kisses down your chest.  His rough hands touching every part of you, you couldn’t believe you were here, with him. Under him.

Leaning his chest onto yours leans into your ear. “Do you like that?”  he grunts out, “you missed me darling?” he grips you harder, “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you, even when you left me like that, all alone.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” You sob.

“It’s okay, its okay sweetheart. We’re together again, that’s what matters. I can’t let you leave again; I won’t let you leave again.” He pants out.

He buries his face in your neck leaving sloppy wet kisses all over. His blond tresses tickling your neck as he lifts himself off you-moving down your body, kissing down in a straight line as he goes, worshiping you.

You arch your hips into him as he leaves a sloppy kiss on your pussy.

“You’re so wet darling; it seems like you missed me really badly. It was wrong of you to run away from me, to hide this from me.” He slaps your mound, sending shockwaves all throughout your body, dragging a moan out of you. “It’s okay, I’m here now,” he places a kiss on your soaked folds, “I’ll always be here to take care of you.” He dives into your folds like a man dying of thirst, seeking any sort of nourishment, releasing deep moans in the process. Your voice cracks with every lick, suck and kiss he leaves on your pussy.

“Let go for me sweetheart, hm? Cum for me, for your husband.” He whispers against your folds.

So you do, unwinding completely as you cum, your husband slurping up every last drop he can.

As the waves of pleasure finally finish washing over you twitching and trembling in the process, your husband stands up, his eyes glossy, and his face covered in your liquids, palming his dick has he licks the remaining juices off his face.

“You ready for me baby?” he breathes out gripping his cock harder.

You nod your head vigorously, your throat practically hoarse from all the moaning you’d done previously.

Nanami lines himself up to your pussy before entering slowly, releasing a long groan in the process.  He gives you a few moments, waiting for you to adjust. It’s been a long time, and he knows you aren’t used to him.

“Ken…it’s-it’s okay, you can move, its alright.” You pant out.

Kento grunts, showing his acknowledgement.

His rough hands then reach your thighs, gripping them, your legs hanging over his broad shoulders, putting you in a mating press as he then pounds into you relentlessly. You can feel every inch of him inside you, messing up your insides. Kento’s balls slap against your ass in a rhythmic fashion, adding to your pleasure.

He abruptly pulls out making you release a light whimper in the process. Nanami grabs your hips before turning you over with your ass facing him and pulling you inwards. He pushes himself into once more, letting out a load moan in the process.  He leans

“Never leave me again baby please, I’ll do anything, anything you want I’ll do it – it doesn’t matter just...come back to me.” He’s completely lost in you, babbling away.

But so are you, “Yes-yes, I’ll do it, I’ll come back Ken I’m so sorry, leaving you was a mistake!”

Nanami pounds harder into you somehow, wrapping his arms around your upper chest you can feel everything: his breath in your ear, his erratic heartbeat on your back and his cock relentlessly pounding you, it almost hurts, in a way, but that makes it so much better.

“Marry me baby, marry me again, let me be your husband again, we’ll have a massive wedding yeah? invite all your friends and family -but you’re never leaving me again. I wont let you.” He’s rambling. You love it, the rumble of his voice in your ear, almost whiny.

His thrusts become erratic, sloppy almost. Its clear he’s at his limit – and so are you.

“Come on baby, cum, cum with your husband. Be a good girl for me, let go for me.”  He begs.

You follow his ask, letting go completely, your eyes rolling back in pure euphoria, seeing nothing but stars. Your husband follows suit, remaining still for a few moments leaving his mark deep in your body. He pulls out slowly, before he collapses onto the bed beside you.

Nanami rolls off you after he was done but not wanting to completely let go of you, he drags you close to him, cuddling your sore body.  You both stay there, relishing in each other’s embrace. Nanami gently rubs your back, comforting you relaxing you completely.

As much as you weren’t sure where to go from here, Nanami was here with you.

And maybe that’s all that mattered.

[brucewaynehater101]

The evil parent club thingy made me think about something if JJ did effect Tim to the point where he still thinks the joker and Harley are his parents imagine how it would impact his interactions and identity

Cuz Harley is good now so he could reasonably go to her and she was a therapist so she could help

But sometimes even if you hate a parent you still long to see them imagine how Tim would react to knowing that his mind sometimes wants him to just go to joker because his brain thinks joker is his dad still no matter how much he hates him

Tw: Abuse, torture, domestic abuse, brainwashing, child abuse, JJ

Yeah. The shitty part about domestic abuse is that it's not clear cut to the victim. Due to certain tactics (like love bombing), it may be hard for someone to realize that they are being abused or that it's the abuser's fault.

I haven't seen much of the Harley Quinn show, but I remember thinking that the first season showed this. Harley kept going back to Joker despite how he would hurt her. Leaving abusive relationships is grueling.

For Tim, he would know before and after the JJ period that Joker is a bad guy. A monster. Despite that, the brainwashing, electrocution, manipulation, etc. would be detrimental to his ability to be strictly rational. Add on that this happened when he was a kid and his brain was still developing?

It's understandable if Tim would have conflicting feelings about Joker and Harley. You're right that you can loathe your parents and still miss them. It is also reasonable that someone might miss their abuser due to emotional manipulation and other tactics employed. This is one of several reasons why people get stuck in a cycle of abuse.

For JJ specifically, I could go in depth about many layers. We could chat about why he would miss the Joker, the shame and confusion and horror he'd feel when he realizes it, his need to hide this realization from others, the many ways he may lash out or try to process his emotions/trauma, and overall how this would permanently change who he is as a person.

I think, and I am in no way a professional, that Tim would benefit from group therapy for domestic abuse victims. He wouldn't need to say who hurt him, but hearing others and their similar struggles may relieve some of the guilt and shame he feels. Due to his unique situation, he may need to be convinced that he does qualify for this group. Maybe Harley is the one to suggest it and support him. Maybe not.

She would not be able to be Tim's therapist due to her role in his abuse, their relationship, and her revoked license. However, she may still provide him support and care if Tim has enthusiastically expressed her presence as an aid rather than a trigger. Boundaries are important

[moonydustx]

Hi, I was wondering if you could do Zoro, Ace, Sabo, Luffy, Crocodile, Mihawk, Buggy (Cross guild), Whitebeard, Izou, and Charlotte Katakuri x Reader where They are in a Disney/ Fairy tale Story? (I've been watching Disney lately, and it's living in my Brain-Free.) Also a bonus: They break out in a song number.~

Hi Hi! I think this was the most complicated request I've ever received and to be honest, all my drafts didn't get anywhere that was interesting to read. So, in order not to be left without an answer, but also not to deliver something terrible, I decided to change the format a little (and I really hope you don't hate me for it)

--

Even though her father (grandfather in this version) is against all this, our little mermaid wants to find the surface world (again, pirate world) and see all the wonders that await him. You'll make different friends along the way and, above all, collect incredible things like a certain hat along the way.

Luffy

Our Beauty and the Beast story is a little more troubled here. Instead of a beast cursed by the witch, we just have an evil-looking and somewhat threatening man who still hasn't found a reason to let anyone get close to him. When the right person arrives, he will definitely become someone lovable - even if it involves some fights, wars and everything that can prevent anyone from interfering in the lives of the two of you.

Crocodile, Katakuri

Living the best life, without growing up, without responsibilities, just him and his people living happily in Neverland and disturbing the life of the pirate who passes by. Despite trying to bring our beloved Peter Pan to the real world, you would ultimately understand that Neverland is the place made for him to be free.

Buggy

I know, I know it's not exactly a fairy tale. But, our beloved Puss in Boots would be just as stubborn, adventurous and showy as this one. His sword would be the sharpest and most agile of all the kingdoms, apart from all the flame that only he has.

Mihawk

Bonus point: in a universe where Cross Guid is made up of enemies and we are in fairy tales/animations, Crocodile would be the wolf in the second film.

This one would be Sleeping Beauty, I don't think we even need to explain why. However, this sleeping beauty here chose to sleep for days straight after being in battle and when you tried to wake him up in a kind way - aka, the kiss of love - he hated it, after all, he was in the best part of sleep.

Zoro (and I'd include Buggy here too, I can see him grumbling about it).

The world was just a small view of the tower his mother trapped him in and of course, his mother knows better. Until he found himself being saved by someone fearless, brave (a bit of a scoundrel) who took him from his cruel mother's clutches and took him to explore the world - and that includes the nearest bakery.

Charlotte Katakuri, Sabo (I mean, his parents were pretty shitty)

He would definitely be Mufasa and he would make us suffer terribly with his loss, but he would have been a great father. (and you can't tell me that Ace wouldn't be the son with the chaotic and adventurous spirit also known as Simba)

Whitebeard

Bonus:

He would have to put up with you singing Let It Go in any situation, but he probably wouldn't get angry about it. Except when you were in a more intimate moment and you said that the cold wouldn't bother you anyway (and of course, he would create little ice drawings for you in the winter)

Aokiji

We also have Snow White: dreamy, kind, fearless too. Instead of seven dwarves, he has loyal companions. Some are more serious and angry, but ready to help our Snow White here and other cute and funny eaters.

Shanks (and yes Benn Beckman is our angry one in this one) ---

a/n: ok, I had more fun writing this than I thought I would

[rkivefae]

oh, your beauty leaves me breathless

Summary ── Trans FTM Steve comforting his boyfriend, Eddie, while experiencing bad dysphoria because his binder is done for and he has bad chest dysphoria.

Rating ── Teen And Up Audiences

Content Warnings ── none?

Word Count ── 3k

Note ── Not historically accurate LMAO. This is a re-upload from my old account and is NOT edited, I hope you enjoy anyways <3

Eddie pushed the tight material over his head and situated it on his chest. He smoothed it out and looked in the mirror. The material was becoming worn out, parts of it colored and wrangled out, he didn’t understand how it was even still holding on. It didn’t give the compact it was meant to when he bought it but he simply tried to forget about it, he did not have the money to buy another one. He didn’t have money to feed himself sometimes, he was lucky to even have this at the current moment. So, that was out of the waters. He didn’t want to bother Wayne with it either, the man worked for hours on end and didn’t have the time to relax.

Eddie would be damned if he was the cause of any more stress than the man already had, which is why Eddie took on jobs here and there to help bring in money to pay bills, always ate with his own money so he didn’t take Wayne’s and even hated the idea of Wayne spending money on him, money they didn’t have. That was not and never will be an option.

He was fine - Eddie reassured himself anytime he couldn’t stand the way his chest was noticeable from beneath the fabric, much worse than before. Eddie got really bad dysphoria about his chest, something he hated and right now it was at one of its worst because Eddie was so painfully aware, nothing to take his mind off of it. Not even smoking until his body went numb and brain dulled over.

Eddie pulled at his hoodies, feeling the sweat pooling beneath it and cringing but he was not taking it off. He tried to re-situate, eyes darting at the metallic box that showed him his reflection and he crouched a little more, watching as he tried to make it all the least noticeable. He wanted the ground to eat him, to separate and just reach up to get him; and he’d let it happen, whether it’s breath reeked or not because Eddie did not want to deal with this bullshit. It was all just bullshit and he stuffed his hands into his hoodie pocket to pull at it and keep it off his body so it wasn’t as vibrantly visible, tugging so it didn’t settle on his skin.

“Eddie, are you sure you’re okay?” Steve asked, furrowing his brows together and eyeing him just a little.

“Yeah, yeah, man. Just- you know, cold.” He muttered out, sweet and simple as he looked away from Steve.

They waited at Steve's work, knowing he was soon to get off and they had a date planned. But Steve would blow it off without wasting a second if he knew that it wasn’t a good day for Eddie. Steve always reminded Eddie that he was more important and there was nothing that he would put above him - except maybe the kids if it was a dire emergency, he admitted that. After things happened, with Max still being in the hospital healing, he realized just how much they really meant to him. A shitty way to find out but it was a real eye opener. Steve still carried that guilt, the one time he wasn’t watching them. Eddie nodded in understanding and joked around about him being a good dad often, to which Steve countered with, “We’re together, that makes you their dad, too.” Without realizing that Eddie still had a goofy smile on his face because he knew that but it didn’t stop him from saying it.

“Hey, no- none of that. You’re obviously bothered with something. Do you want to cancel today and just go home, we can t-”

“No, Harrington, it’s fine. Really. You planned this out, been excited about it all week and I’m not ‘bout to ruin that. Got it?” He said, giving a small reassuring smile that Steve did not take bait to.  Instead, he huffed out a breath to retaliate back.

“You’re bullshitting and I can smell it from a mile away. What’s bothering you? If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine, but we don’t have to go out. You’re wearing your hoodie instead of leather jacket - which you never do unless you’re feeling- shitty. We can re-plan, just go home and watch a movie while stuffing our faces.”

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and just sighed, trying to pass off a cry. Steve really knew how to work him up. Sometimes Eddie wondered if it was a bad thing because Steve seemed to be able to do it so effortlessly. Hell, Steve only cradled his face and looked at him like he was holding the most precious thing in the world and Eddie’s heart burst into flames, he literally melted into Steve’s touch. He often became embarrassed about it but Steve only shushed him with how much he loved Eddie and it was more than okay because it meant that he was comfortable and he trusted him.

“Dude, seriously, you’re going mad and they call me the crazy one.” He rolled his eyes, shaking his head and letting the brown curls cover his face briefly before looking up, letting some pieces fall back. “I’m Eddie Munson, the town freak, a once wanted murderer, an almost dead innocent guy. I believe I know when I’m fine.” He played off, looking back over at Steve finally and seeing the concern written all over it- he didn’t buy it for a second. It was incredibly aggravating because he didn’t need Steve to worry.

Steve went around the counter, not taking his time either, a little stumble in his steps every once in a while and stood in front of Eddie, his back against the counter - still keeping distance in case he was uncomfortable with touch at the moment but Eddie was the one to draw closer, hand pulled out of his pocket and reaching to pick at some imaginary fluff on Steve’s uniform. Steve crossed his arms and raised a brow. ‘Really?’ his look gave and it was enough for Eddie to sigh, bumping his head against Steve’s shoulder and resting it there.

After a few good seconds and pokes to Steve’s side later, he looked up with a small smile. “Just waiting for your job to get done and we can finally get out of this shit place. I’m fine, you worry too much.”

Steve shook his head, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s shoulders and pulling him close. “People don’t worry about you enough.” Steve muttered out, pressing a kiss to the top of his head after looking around the store once more for any hidden customers. “Tell me later?” He questioned, hope clear in his tone.

Eddie pinched at his side, hearing Steve let out a gasp and flinch back from him. Eddie grinned, “Sure thing, big boy.” Maybe a lie, Eddie isn’t sure just yet if he’ll talk, definitely not now though.

Turns out, Steve brought it up later when they were getting ready for bed - this time, staying at Steve’s place.

“Want to tell me what was bothering you?”

It was different, being in the comfort confines of home and not a public area. Eddie didn’t feel as stuffed and dragged as before being in that place and being questioned. He still had his hoodie on and ripped pair of jeans. Eddie threw himself on Steve’s bed, stomach down and watched as Steve sat beside him, looking at him with affection and adoration that made Eddie’s stomach do waves.

“It’s just stupid stuff, you know.” Eddie said, pushing himself on his elbows and looking at Steve, head in hand.

“It’s not stupid if it was bothering you.” Steve said, bringing a hand up to comb through Eddie’s hair, or try to at least. Steve begged to take care of Eddie’s curls but Eddie was reluctant and said it was fine, the tangled mess was something for future Eddie to deal with, not his boyfriend. Steve planned on convincing him one day- just let him at them.

“Jus’- My binder, it uhm, it’s not really doing too good. I think it’s fighting to live, it’s been through some stuff,” he let out a laugh; it’s been through a lot, having lasted a few years. Demon bat creatures definitely did not help spare its life. Granted, it only took a few pieces of the top layer but still. “I’ve definitely worn it to its best abilities but it’s not really binding anymore and it's falling apart - so I can’t wear it. You know how it gets for me, really not okay with my chest and all. Just waiting to save up, today was just a bad day, worser than others.” Eddie shrugged, looking down at the blanket like it was the most interesting thing ever, making patterns with his finger against the fabric. “Told ya’, stupid.” He muttered off to the side.

Then, within a few seconds, Steve was up and over at his closet, Eddie’s eyes on him immediately and watching his every move. Every move. Even when he struggled with a box at the top of his closet because he couldn’t figure what it was stuck on. Eddie wanted to laugh but he was still dumb founded on what the hell this boy was doing until a few pieces of fabrics went flying at him. Steve smiled at him, biting back a laugh as Eddie narrowed his eyes at Steve.

“Really? You just had to?”

“Yep.” He said, popping the ‘p’ before making his way back to his seat next to Eddie and holding the fabrics up.

Chest binders.

Two chest binders sat in front of him, one black and the other a tan color.

“Don’t call things like that stupid, it isn’t stupid. I think you forget sometimes that I completely understand what you’re talking about and it’s okay not to be okay, I get it - I do. I may have not had as bad of dysphoria with my chest but I did experience it with certain parts, like my voice and my hips. But you invalidate your own experience which is just - so fucking stupid. It’s real and I’m here for you when it’s happening. You aren’t alone, Eddie Munson. You’re the freak of the town but you’re my boyfriend who I care about a lot and I want to be there for you and if you need something, I want to be able to get you it.” He finished off with a huff of breath that he lost within his speech and looked at Eddie who had glossed over eyes, tears ready to spring out and it was obvious that it took everything in him not to just break down right there.

“Now, I know you know I have had top surgery and I don’t really need these anymore, so I’m giving you these, I know how you feel about gift giving and stuff. It can be a lot and I have the problem of just giving, but these are literally of no cost and I want to give these to you because you need them. So, you have no room to object, you have to take them. No but’s, or’s, please’s - Nothing! Got it? Got it. You have no say in this, you argue too much.” Steve said, with a resilient face and Eddie just sniffled before breaking out into laughter.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Eddie, instead, let out and watched as the tough shield Steve put up, gave out as he let his arms rest and a smile became more present before Eddie got up and tackled him in a hug. Muttering small ‘thank you’s’ while pressing kisses all over Steve’s face.

Oh yeah, so worth it.

—

However, that wasn’t the only thing Steve was planning on giving Eddie. There was so much to happen and with little time to get it done.

Top Surgery.

Robin and Steve have both been putting money towards the surgery for Eddie for at least a year now, raising over enough for it with the help of Wayne occasionally putting in some when he can, even if they both argue with him that he should save it and they got it covered. He’d do anything for that boy.

They finally had gathered enough and now it was time for Wayne to give his talk to Eddie; this was going to be the hard part.

They all settled on all of them doing it, but Wayne was the one bringing up the surprise because it meant more for them to have the talk. Father and son even if they weren’t exactly that, but it might as well be. Wayne has raised him since Eddie could remember, parents falling into drug abuse and dying after a deal gone wrong, at least that was what they said, only Eddie really knows. Police showed up at his door at three in the morning, the kid beside them, shaking like a leaf and tears staining his face.

Ever since then it was always Eddie and Wayne, no matter what. They took care of each other, even if Eddie had trouble in coping in the beginning but he came around, there was no doubt for it with their bond becoming closer.

“Eddie, I needa talk to ya’. Can ya’ come out to the table for a few minutes?” Wayne said, knocking on Eddie’s door. It was around the afternoon and Eddie was making a new campaign, so it took him a few good minutes before he came out. Even then, he still had a pencil in hand, hair tied up in a loose bun and the side-torn shirt, that showed his binder, set loosely over his black jeans. He didn’t look up just yet but when he did, his eyes widened. He didn’t expect more people to be here, let alone his boyfriend and friend.

“Is this, like, an intervention? Cause uh, I ain’t gonna quit DnD, I swear I’m not addicted - you know what, that is probably what they all say, uhm-” Wayne just raised a brow while Robin let out a small laugh.

“No, this is about something else, why don’t you go ahead and sit down?”

Eddie did as he was told, getting a bit nervous while he shifted in his seat. He didn’t like this, it seemed way too serious and it only ever meant bad things.

First time was talking about how they might be kicked out.

Second, his parents.

Third, Vecna bullshit.

and so on.

“You ain’t in trouble none, jus’ got something important to tell you. You ready?”

Eddie nodded and prepared himself for the worst. Eyes cast down and hands in each other, fumbling with every finger tediously and waiting for the break down. Something, anything.

“You’re getting top surgery.”

Definitely not what he expected. His eyes shot up and he looked at Wayne.

“What? No- this is a joke, right? We can’t even afford it! This isn’t funny guys, like-” Eddie got choked up, looking between them all and going to stand up. Waiting for a laugh or a ‘it’s a joke’ to come out but it never did. Wayne grabbed Eddie’s shoulder and kept him seated, turning him to look at him.

“We ain’t joking any, all true. Expenses are paid already by your little boy toy and your friend-”

“-and Wayne.” Steve interjected.

Eddie’s bottom lip was starting to quiver, tears welling up in his eyes and Wayne grasped his nape, pulling him closer and hugged him. Eddie’s face in his chest, hands grabbing at his shirt and one of Wayne’s arms slung around Eddie’s physique and Eddie cried. Happy tears, of course. Overwhelmed but in a good way.

It took a few minutes for Eddie to pull back, sniffling and wiping at his nose to get away the snot. Wayne wiped the tears away from his cheek that still fled down, “I love you, son.”

“Oh god, you are going to make me cry, again.” Eddie laughed out, trying his best to collect himself. “I love you, too, Dad.” he bumped his shoulder against Wayne who only patted his shoulder, getting up.

“I’ll cook dinner tonight, you all go on and have fun. Nothing too crazy, though.” Wayne reminded but before they headed out, Eddie, being the last one, hugged Wayne. Really hugged him this time.

“Thank you, really.”

Steve and Eddie cuddled that night, Steve was shirtless and Eddie was laying on his chest with his binder on, laying in between Steve’s thighs that wrapped around his waist perfectly. Everything was perfect.

“Are you happy? Excited?”

Eddie hummed in return, proceeding to trace Steve’s chest scars. “I’m happy, really happy. I can’t even understand what I did to deserve you. All of you.”

Steve smiled gently in return, tilting Eddie’s head up and pressing a small kiss on his lips. “You being you is enough, hmm? You deserve so much more and if I can, I’ll give you it all.”

Oh yeah, Steve was cheesy. But Eddie was endeared by it, maybe a little too much for his own good because that one sentence was enough for him to feel all giddy.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“I hope my scars look as bad-ass as yours. Yours are so cool.” He said, leaning down and pressing a few small kisses over them, as he loved to do every time they got like this. “and I love you so much.”

“I love you too, pretty boy.”

—

A week passed by and everything was ready. Eddie was nervous, excited, and joked about pissing his pants a few too many times. “I’m serious, I think I might. This is crazy, this is crazy-” he muttered over and over again, even while sitting in the waiting room.

Steve picked up his hand and pressed small kisses on his knuckles. “It’ll be okay, we’ll be here when you come back. You’re going to be okay.” Steve promised.

Eddie let out a breath and nodded.

It was going to be okay.

—

It took only a few weeks for Eddie to take off his shirt in front of his friends and flash his new and improved chest. Steve laughed and cheered him on and Robin was happy for him. The DnD group, however, did take notice of his new mood. Much happier and definitely smiled more.

“What happened to him?”

“Did a jock die?”

“Nah, dude, his tits are off.”

[carowleysposts]

It’s okay to care about things.

These past couple of days i’ve been noticing that a great part of our fandom is being relentlessly shamed for still loving Good Omens and not wanting it to get cancelled, and I thought i’d share my feelings about it, as I myself have been receiving hateful messages and comments because of it.

First and foremost: many people who judge don’t seem to be able to understand the power of fiction. Fiction is the art of translating reality through magical lenses and making it easier to deal with. It’s something that brings people hope, joy, comfort and brings them together even if they’re thousands of miles apart. Fiction is a shoulder to cry on, a portal to escape through and a friend to rely on. Fiction is magic in its own way, and it can (and has!) change the world in countless ways. Whether you have a happy, fulfilled and busy life or you are going through a rough patch, fiction is always there to help you navigate your own journey, and that’s why it means so much to so many people.

Secondly, it’s important that people fully understand that we do not necessarily associate our favorite pieces of fiction with the creators behind them. After JKR and all of the newly outed zionists, it’s becoming more and more clear that art can be appreciated for itself, and not tied to the person who brought it to life. Sometimes, shitty unforgivable people can make incredible things. And, as long as you don’t support or defend these people, it is okay for you to care about things important to you. It’s okay. You aren’t bad for loving something that has brought you comfort and joy.

Besides, there’s a certain power in taking things back. In looking at the person who made it and saying “this is mine now, and you are not going to ruin it for me”. And that is exactly why so many of us want this show to go on. We all want Gaiman fired. He himself has offered to step back because he is not his art and that story isn’t his anymore. It’s ours. Going on without him would only prove that, and it is okay to root for the show to survive after all that has happened. We are human, and humans need fiction. We need our little bit of magic, and that is perfectly okay.

And lastly, I would like to say that I believe in all the allegations. Even if there’s a chance of it being untrue, it’s not in my nature to doubt victims or to take someone’s side blindly just because I think they are good at their jobs. I believe his victims, I want him to pay for his crimes and I would never, ever support him. You can feel both things: despise for him and love for what he’s created alongside Terry Pratchett. You can want both things: for him to go to jail and for the show to go on in spite of him.

It’s okay to feel how you feel, to love what you love and to be vocal about it. It’s okay to advocate for your favorite show, only you know what it means to you and why. If you need to talk, I am here, I see you and I understand.

I promise we’ll be okay. 🩷✨🫶🏻

Edit: this is meant to comfort the people who are dealing with this situation as well, please refrain from commenting negative things, this is one of those ���if you want to judge, do it silently” kind of things. It’s okay to stop enjoying things after stuff like that comes out, but it is also okay to still love them and care about them. Thanks! ✨

[yourleftpinkytoe-blog]

Pinkytoe’s top ten Aftg hot takes

Read with caution I’m very passionate about my thoughts and did not hold back on my opinions. This is not an attack on people who think differently it is me putting my perspective out there.(with some harsh wording)

1: The rift in Andrew and Aaron’s relationship is just as much Aaron’s fault as it is Andrew’s.

A lot of the time I see people framing Aaron as Andrew’s victim which is a weird interpretation of their relationship to me. It’s not just Andrew controlling Aaron, it is also Aaron fundamentally not understanding that Andrew is a person who has thoughts and feelings. Aaron fundamentally doesn’t understand that Andrew is not doing everything in his power to hurt Aaron he’s just trying not to lose Aaron. So with that understanding Aaron goes out of his way to hurt Andrew like aaron thinks he’s doing to him. The whole dynamic is toxic but neither is exclusively the perpetrator or the victim. The deal is a double edged sword and when people pretend otherwise it feels like it’s doing a disservice to the reality of the situation.

2: Erasing Aaron’s homophobia is not the take that some people think it is.

I see a lot of people making claims that Aaron isn’t homophobic he just doesn’t like hearing about his family’s sex lives. But I feel like people are blinded by their love of his character to see that his homophobia is a character flaw of his. He was raised by Tilda. Tilda was raised with Luther. It would not surprise me if she saw extremely homophobic. Also it takes place in 2006/7 casual homophobia was so fucking rampant… obviously he’s gonna have some uncomfortable opinions on gay people. But being homophobic is not a permanent state of being he can and probably will grow from where he is in canon. Pretending his comments in canon arn’t what they are is taking a layer from his characterization.(plus a layer from the rift in Andrew and Aaron’s relationship is Aaron’s homophobia soooo)

3: Thea was not nearly as bad as some people make her out to be and the whole situation reeks of racism

Yall I said it once and I’ll say it again. THEA AND KEVIN DIDNT START DATING TILL KEVIN WAS A COLLAGE FRESHMAN AND SHE WAS A SINIOR. They were both consenting adults who were in the same shitty traumatizing situation. Stop saying she’s a pedo stop acting like her being mad that he practically cut her out of his life for a year is unjustified. there relationship doesn’t seem perfect but it is not how some people portray it. Stop ur being racist to the only canon black woman!

4: all the hate that the fandom has for Thea should be amplified and given to Roland.

Now let’s see… Roland was 23 when he and a 16 year old Andrew started hooking up. Now that’s some pedo shit. Not only that, but Roland was if fucking boss at the time. Andrew had to tie Roland down in order to make Roland not touch him. You know the teenager he’s hooking up with. I said it once and I’ll say it again, fuck that bitch he’s a shitty shitty person who deserves all the hate the fandom could give him.

5: Hating Riko and thinking he got what was coming for him in the end and understanding that he’s a victim in his own way are not mutually exclusive. I can hate that fucker and still feel bad for him.

I think I explained this in the description well enough

6: Neil’s demisexuality/demiromatisism is non-negotiable. That shit is an important part of his character and erasing it for the sake of shipping is weird as hell.

I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve seen people just take away Neil’s demi identity’s because they want to read about him fucking everyone except the one character he’s been show to have romantic/sexual feelings for. Like I’ve seen people so upset he didn’t end up with Kevin and I’m just like yeah… cause he’s not into Kevin. Makes sense to me. I see so much…

*insert quote about how Neil have and idol like admiration for Kevin and his exy skills*

“Omg Neil wants to fuck Kevin sooooo bad it’s canon*

Like honestly ship whatever but don’t try to change the canon to justify it. Have your fun stop being stupid.

7: While Nicky’s actions in the first book inexcusable, the rampant mischaracterization of him to make him worse than canon is not cool.

This isn’t as big of an issue to me but I see people portraying Nicky as like an actual sexual predator and not just a person who lacks understanding of personal boundaries. What he did to Neil is super fucked up and I’m not excusing him (or anything he did in the first book tbh) but changing him to make the situation more back and white than it is is odd to me.

8: on a similar topic you can not compare what Nicky did in Columbia to what Andrew did.

Andrew had a justified reason for what he did. He is protecting Kevin from the fucking mafia and this shady Kid shows up with a stalker binder and a shit ton of money all while looking like he came off the street. It’s suspicious as hell. Also I want to add that he is on mind and mood altering drugs. The situation is fucked and looking at it from Neil’s perspective it’s even more so cause we know he is not involved in a malicious way, but Andrew didn’t. He acted with every justification while Nicky did not, the only reason Nicky did what he did is cause he wanted to. Both are not good but you can’t compare the two.

9: While kevins alcoholism is not good, the way his fans frame it is grossly misrepresenting the situation.

In the books Kevin is not in a mental state to handle getting sober on top of everything else. His alcoholism is bad and everyone knows it but it is the only thing getting him through things without causing him to shut down. It’s not good but if it’s what he needs to get through this then that’s what he needs. When he’s not in the middle of a mob war he’ll be in a better position to handle himself without alcohol. He’s not a helpless bbg he’s a grown man just trying to get by and if it helps it helps.

10: I do not get the hype around Kevin.

This might be my most controversial take tbh…Like he’s a cool character. And I love him as much as the other foxes but I don’t understand the recent wave of him getting babygirlified. Is it the queen symbolism? Is it just cause he’s conventionally attractive? Is it cause that one scene in the kings men where he was cunty as fuck? No clue.

but yall have fun I may not get it but it is entertaining as shit

[gaymurdersalad]

Jack! You should try talking it out with Dave. Tell him how you feel, how from your perspective how tiring and agonising this whole situation is.

Dave cares about you a lot. I'm sure he'll understand you.

> Fuck you! Quit giving me those puppy dog eyes! It’s not gonna work this time, no, you’re not gonna ruin my life and waltz back in like we’re still friends. I only liked you when I hated myself. Get it through that fucking lobotomized skull, you purple leech.

> … Do you even realize what you’re sayin’ to me, Sportsy?

> I know exactly what I’m saying! You deaf too, you bastard?

> I didn’t ask for your help! Y’know, Sportsy, I coulda been perfectly fine rotting in that alleyway! You didn’t HAVE to drag me back to your home just to fuckin’ chew me out you goddamn hypocrite! What the fuck is wrong with you?!

> It was a moment of weakness. Never in my right mind would I ever let you back in here!

> Sportsy, I know that ain’t really what you think, so can you stop bein’ so goddamn difficult and just tell me what the hell is pissin’ you off today?

> Today? Today?! You’ve been making my life fucking miserable since the moment I met you! You saw I was struggling, you noticed that I hated the company, and instead of leaving me well enough alone, you took advantage of me and made me do your fucking dirty work! I was prepared to do good, I was prepared to save whatever kid was stupid enough to let your cryptid ass lure them into the backroom, but god, when offered with the opportunity to burn it all down, I took it! I couldn’t have met a worse person, someone who fed into that fucking hate and malice and made me worse!

> You’re— You’re blaming me? Sportsy, You’re grown! You are a grown man, you made your own goddamn decision! How are you being so childish right now?! Stop tryin’ to escape the parts you don’t like about yourself, just deal with ‘em like every other adult!

> Deal with it?

> I killed children! Little kids!

> And that’s somehow my fault?

> If you’d have never been there, I never would have done it.

> But you did, you stupid motherfucker, you did! So grow up!

> If you weren’t so fucking obsessed with the legacy of a man that doesn’t even love you, I would never be here! I’d still be living my shitty existence with my shitty family in a shitty house that I couldn’t afford in a shitty world with a shitty job! Your bullfuckery cost me a life, it costed dozens of kids their futures, it destroyed families! Telling me to grow up?? You can only do whatever the fuck your daddy tells you to do!

> Do you know what the hell this means to me? Do you even understand why I’m doin’ this at all? It’s ‘cause I trust him, Sportsy, I trust him with my life ‘cause he’s saved it over and over again! You don’t know what’s happened to me, you don’t know what the hell I’ve seen, what Henry’s dragged me out of! You’ll never fuckin’ understand what he means to me!

> You’re right. I don’t know. Although what I do know, as any other sane, rational person would, is that whatever he’s done for you, it does not justify snuffing out the lives of little kids as some twisted form of gratitude.

> You’re bein’ really unfair!

> Unfair?? I didn’t realize murder was unfair! Okay, you should have every right to take someone else’s life! It’s only fair! It’s only right ‘cause it’s Henry!

> You’re just sayin’ that ‘cause you ain’t never had a dad, you don’t know what the fuck I’d lose if I didn’t satisfy him!

> …

> Yeah, turns out I ain’t brain dead, you soulless bastard. I remember everything you’ve ever told me. Everything you spilled outta those rotten guts in Vegas. You wanna know why, you sick fuck? ‘Cause I liked you. I liked how you treated me, like a person. Lookin’ at me wit’ them doe eyes, so fuckin’ receptive and so goddamn… affectionate.

> Look, Sportsy, I know you whether you want me to or not. I know you don’t hate me, I know you never did. I don’t hate you neither. It’s not a question of if you’re ashamed of what you’ve done or whether it’s my fault or not— you like me. You are so fuckin’ violated to know that I can see through you. Sometimes that’s what I like about you, but right now it’s pissin’ me off. Lay down the goddamn charades and tell me what you want without usin’ any of that goddamn language you were dishin’ out earlier.

> Stop living for Henry.

> …

> Stop making it impossible for me to like you.

> … I can be close with Henry and still be your friend, Sportsy—

> No, you can’t! My entire reason for existence is to right Henry’s wrongs! My best friend cannot be his fucking protégé! Dave, you don’t understand what this is doing to me! I want you more than I want to do good in the world! Do you realize how sincerely fucked up that is?!

> … You’re not the only one who feels this way, Sportsy. This is puttin’ me in a uncomfortable position too. You’re askin’ me for a lot.

> I didn’t realize not murdering anyone required serious introspection.

> Gah, it’s not just about the murder, get over it! That’s all you ever wanna fuckin’ talk about! The very fuckin’ notion that I should lay all my loyalties down for the likes of you is downright insulting— the one who abandoned me after givin’ me a taste of humanity! Yer a joke and a conman and I cannot fuckin’ stand you!

> Yet I care about what you think of me, which is the wildest part of it all! I want you to like me again, but as you’ve so clearly forced down my throat, you won’t do it again unless I betray my own father! Unless I submit to YOUR goddamn ideology! Is it just that you’re usin’ me? Do you just want another pair of hands just like I asked for yours all those years ago? Trynna worm your way into a heartless vessel, are ya? All I got left is my brain, Sportsy, and you and that pink fuck are rippin’ it apart at the seams! Gah!

> You ain’t blameless yourself, anyhow! What, you had one good trip on ether and decided you were a saint? You’ve killed same as me, don’t you dare try and look down on me like you’re any better! So easily persuaded to kill, so easily persuaded to spare— can you ever make up your goddamn mind, or are you just gonna let people boss you around your entire afterlife? Yer like a fuckin’ sheep, like goddamn livestock for people that wanna use you! Turns out we ain’t so different after all, huh?!

> GOD, YOU’RE SUCH A FUCKING PLAGUE!

> I WISH I NEVER TOLD YOU TO SKIP WORK! I WISH I MAIMED YOU IN THAT SPRINGLOCK SUIT, I WISH EVERY RIGGED PIECE IN THAT FUCKIN’ THING WRANG THE LIFE OUTTA YOU OUT FOR GOOD! GOD, I WISH YOU WERE FUCKIN’ DEAD!

> … You… You wish you what…?

> …!

[izu]

hey just wanna say that i LOVE your art!!! i’ve seen you on twitter and ugh just can’t get enough of it! also do you happen to have some johnshi headcannons?? cuz if you do i would like to see them all!! :3

thank you so much!!! i hope to draw more.... also get ready bc i have way too many headcanons and this'll probably be super long winded unfortunately . this isn't all of it but its most of it

- kenshi is a heavy sleeper. after moving in with johnny post-tournament he begins to unwind from his former unhealthy schedule that was supported by his yakuza lifestyle. johnny wakes up at 5 am to work out until lunch, and kenshi sleeps in til like noon or 1. johnny thinks its cute

- they either own a fuck ton of cats or ferrets. johnny seems like a ferret guy to me

- they like watching director's cuts of movies instead of actual movies because kenshi can actually understand a little more of whats happening while the directors explain certain scenes and go into depth about the composition and art direction. its a win win situation for both of them

- johnny actually reads a ton of books, but is embarrassed about it. leftovers from being a ""nerd"" in high school. kenshi thinks its adorable and he likes hearing johnny retell the book plot and express his exasperation with it unfolding as he reads

- johnny has a sweet tooth and kenshi has a more refined palette, he will try anything johnny sets in front of him though, even if he isnt much of a sweets guy

- on that same note, johnny is very good at cooking! every other night he plans a meal for them, and it's almost always a winner. lots of japanese style dishes (took some trial and error on johnny's part) because he wants to impress kenshi

- they go to red carpet events together after a couple of years of dating, but for a while they pretended (to the press, too) that kenshi was his newest bodyguard. rumors spread fast though and it ended up being a perfect time to let johnny come out publicly as bi

- kenshi's parents are actually very very supportive. i think he'd be nervous at first but his mom thinks johnny is very handsome and his father agrees its a good change for their family. kenshi has two sisters who absolutely raise hell over kenshi nabbing a sexy gaijin star and he is very embarrassed about it. much to johnny's delight

- they spend every weekend on the balcony of johnny's new loft in his jacuzzi just talking and being sappy. kenshi genuinely gets a lil upset when things come up and they miss their date nights

- everytime kenshi returns to the states after visiting home johnny makes a big scene at the airport. lunging at him, crying sobbing

- kenshi proposes first, but johnny had been nervously trying to wait for a good time to do it himself. one upped. he is still very upset about this well into their marriage as old yaois

- kenshi is the top 👍 i think we all knew this but still

- even if he doesn't need it, its sort of a ritual between them so they never stopped; johnny is still kenshi's sight dog when they go out and he doesn't feel like relying on sento.

- sento's ancestors like johnny a lot and kept being annoying about kenshi needing to get hitched already hskw7kejej

- kenshi is achillean, gay. always has been. his arrangement with suchin was. arranged. and she was his lesbian beard for a while. the two are very very close and she visits their home often. johnny is trans and bisexual, but he's only out about being bi.

- johnny tends to have a really shitty sleep cycle, light sleeper, easily thrown into insomnia, the busy street life can really fuck up his routine when hes already had a terrible day. which ends up with the both of them on the couch, talking, watching a show, kenshi with his head on johnny's shoulder. they fall asleep like that 7 times outta 10

- the older they get the sappier and grosser they get . everyone who knows them hates their gay asses . jax and sonya included

- also they both get dad bods when they get older bc of all the good eating. neither are insecure about it. its hot

- kenshi is undeniably the spoiled one. gifts, fancy dinner dates, unrelenting affection and praise. he starts believing he deserves good things, that he is loved, solely by johnny's persistence with showing him instead of telling him

- cris ends up being their friend again after a while. i just dont like the cris villainization when its contrasted with johnshi support. she had her reasons to be upset at her alcoholic, spending-addicted husband, y'all

- johnny like action/sci fi movies. kenshi likes romcoms.

- they host parties. they're awesome parties.

[scuderia-hamilton]

you're saying that Daniel didn't deserve this, but you're still hating on him for that shit he said back in february

make up your mind for fuck's sake

wow okay appreciate you being so civil and nice lmao

just so we’re clear, i’m upset about the principle of this situation cause i hate teams dropping drivers mid-season without warning and treating them like garbage, because they’re all human beings at the end of the day. ultimately they’re all risking their lives weekend after weekend and the teams not having the decency to at least give them a proper goodbye is mad disrespectful.

now that we got this out of the way, the truth is i couldn’t care less about Daniel leaving. it is what it is. i’m not a fan, i never have been and never will be. "that shit" he said back in february was him defending a sexual abuser and i don't know about you, but that's just not something i can easily forget. but what was i expecting from the same man who said that it's "not in his nature" to understand human rights issues and he doesn't watch the news because it's too much drama and negativity and it makes him feel shitty? his next adventure should be teaching weaponized incompetence to beginners.

i can feel bad for him, cause i (unlike him) possess empathy and compassion, along with critical thinking skills. i really tried to refrain from haterism, but i'm honestly so tired of trying to be the bigger person. fans like you (from this visceral reaction, i assume you're a fan) are part of the reason why DR is insufferable and trying to have a nuanced conversation is a lost cause. there is a middle ground between hatred and unquestionable support, i hope you know that.

i don't think he deserved that seat to begin with and i think deep down all of you know that, cause the only thing y'all could come up with to defend him was that he smiled a lot and had a great personality (which is honestly baffling to me, cause his personality is that of a high school bully's, but to each their own, i guess). but y'all are the same people who then turn around and call Checo racial slurs, say that he's washed and call him a pay driver. talk about your driver's skills, let's hear it.

and to make it clear i am over the moon happy for Liam Lawson, cause i think he actually deserves to be in the sport and i am happy that he was the one who replaced him. hating on him also says more about y'all, than him, cause that won't actually bring back your mediocre driver. log off, go out and touch some grass, cause it is never that serious. harassing a young driver who's just trying to do his job and achieve his life long dream over a poorly managed situation he had absolutely no control over is honestly crazy behaviour.

i hope all this is enough for you to know where i stand on this whole thing. if you would've been nice, you would've gotten a nice answer, but since you chose to be an asshole on my own blog, anonymously at that, you get what you came for.

have the day you deserve.

[idaisyy]

Tag , you’re in - a cmpunk x oc enimies to lovers

-Chapter 44

Daisy had tried to stay mad. She really had.

But after a couple of drinks with Drew, the anger started to mix with something else—worry. Punk had been gone for hours. No texts. No calls. Nothing. And despite how cruel he'd been, despite how much he pissed her off, she still cared.

And it was still his birthday.

The realization made her stomach twist. He hadn't even told her, hadn't seemed excited about it at all. Maybe that was why he was acting like such an asshole—because he hated his birthday. Because maybe, just maybe, no one had ever made it special for him.

And also the part of her that made excuses for everyone in her life that hurt her , was on 100% right now

She knew he was only acting like this because it was too vulnerable for him, he had to overcompensate because he felt he was sharing too much of himself

She had once been that , so she understood where he was coming from , was her right? Hell no but she could understand

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I need to do something."

Drew raised an eyebrow over his drink. "Do something?"

She nodded, suddenly determined. "I know he was a dick, but... it's his birthday. And I don't want it to just be another shitty day for him."

Drew smirked. "So, you want to make the guy who carried you out of a bar like a caveman and insulted you a few hours ago feel special?"

Daisy shot him a look. "Are you gonna help me or not?"

He chuckled. "Alright, alright. What's the plan?"

-

Punk was fuming.

Hours had passed since their fight, and he'd spent most of that time stewing in his anger, pacing the city, trying to burn off the rage. But then he'd seen her.

With Drew.

Laughing, shopping, looking like she didn't have a damn care in the world.

It made something ugly boil inside him. The same feeling he'd had before—the jealousy, the possessiveness—but this time, it was worse. This time, he knew she was trying to piss him off, and it was working.

He can't believe they were out together! In plain sight like she didn't even care if he saw her or not

This set him off completely

By the time he got to the arena, he was seething.

And when he saw Daisy just before their match, he didn't hold back.

"So, that's how it is, huh?" he snapped, storming up to her. "You wanna be with Drew so bad? Then go ahead. He can have you."

Daisy blinked, caught off guard. "Punk—"

"No, don't 'Punk' me," he cut her off, his voice sharp. "You wanna run around with him, laughing, shopping, having a great fucking time while I'm out here losing my damn mind? Fine. But don't come crawling back to me when you get bored."

Daisy's face fell. "That's not what—"

"And you know what?" he went on, his anger fueling every word. "Since you're out having fun with Drew, maybe I'll go find someone else to satisfy me on my birthday."

The second the words left his mouth, he regretted them.

Daisy's eyes went wide, her breath hitching—and then, before he could say anything else, she burst into tears.

She covered her face with her hands, turning away from him, her shoulders shaking.

Punk froze, his anger suddenly feeling small compared to the guilt creeping in. He had never seen her cry like this before.

"Daisy..." he started, but she shook her head, walking away from him as fast as she could.

Punk clenched his jaw, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He had fucked up.

Bad.

Still pissed off—at her, at himself, at the whole situation—Punk stormed into their locker room, ready to grab his gear and get the hell out, forget the match , just leave

But then he stopped.

The room was decorated.

Balloons. Streamers. A stupid little banner that said Happy Birthday, Asshole.

And on the bench—presents. A stack of them.

Punk's stomach dropped.

Slowly, he stepped forward, staring at the carefully wrapped gifts. He reached for the card sitting on top, flipping it open.

"I know you didn't tell me it was your birthday, but I wanted to make it special for you anyway. You might be an asshole, but you're my asshole. Happy Birthday, Punk."

His hands tightened around the card. His chest felt too tight.

She had done all of this for him.

While he'd been out losing his mind over Drew, while he'd been saying the cruelest things he could think of just to hurt her, she had been out shopping for him, planning something to make him feel special.

Punk sat down heavily on the bench, dragging a hand over his face.

He had really fucked up.

Punk sat in the locker room longer than he meant to, staring at the decorations, the gifts, the card in his hands. His chest felt hollow. He knew he needed to find Daisy, to apologize, to fix this.

But she never came.

He waited, hoping she'd walk in, hoping she'd at least come yell at him, throw something at his head—anything would've been better than silence.

But she didn't.

And that's when he knew he had really, really fucked up.

With a sigh, he got up and headed toward Gorilla. Their match was coming up, and he'd have to see her sooner or later.

When he got there, he spotted her instantly. She was standing near the monitors, arms crossed over her chest, eyes fixed on the screen in front of her.

She wouldn't look at him.

That's what hit him the hardest.

She always looked at him. Even when they were fighting, even when she was pissed, she always met his gaze with fire in her eyes. But now?

Now, she wouldn't even acknowledge his presence.

Punk swallowed hard, stepping closer. "Daisy—"

She turned away, pretending to check her wrist tape, like she hadn't even heard him.

His jaw clenched. "Come on, don't—"

"Not now," she cut him off, her voice barely above a whisper.

That's when he really saw her. The slight redness around her eyes. The tightness in her jaw. The way she was holding herself together, like if she let go even a little, she'd fall apart.

She wasn't just mad.

She was hurt.

And it was his fault.

Punk exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair. He wanted to fix this. He wanted to undo what he said, take back the way he had hurt her.

But right now, she wasn't ready to hear him.

So, for the first time, Punk didn't push.

Instead, he just stood there, watching her, guilt eating him alive, knowing that tonight's match wasn't going to be the real fight.

The real fight was going to be earning her trust back.

As they stepped through Gorilla and out into the arena, the energy of the crowd hit them like a wave. The moment Daisy appeared, the fans erupted, cheering her name, reaching out for her, their love for her undeniable.

For the first time since their fight, she smiled.

Punk saw it—the way her whole face lit up, how her shoulders relaxed, how she instantly fed off their energy. She waved at the fans, high-fiving hands as she walked down the ramp. A young girl in the front row held out a sign with Daisy's name and a heart, and Daisy didn't hesitate—she went right over, hugging the girl and whispering something to her that made her eyes go wide with excitement.

The crowd loved her.

She was adored.

And Punk... Punk just watched.

He had spent so much time acting like he didn't care, like he could just keep her at arm's length, push her away, say whatever he wanted without thinking about how it affected her. But standing there, seeing how effortlessly she belonged out here, how much people loved her—he felt it.

The sinking feeling in his chest.

The one that told him he had messed up.

The one that told him he had something to lose.

Daisy continued on, hugging fans, waving, soaking in the moment. She hadn't even looked at Punk once.

And for the first time in a long time, Punk felt small.

The match was intense from the start, but Daisy was pissed.

From the moment the bell rang, she was more aggressive than usual—her strikes were harder, her movements sharper, her focus ruthless. And it wasn't because of Cody. She barely even looked at him.

It was Trish.

The way she kept batting her lashes at Punk, running her hands over his chest whenever the ref wasn't looking, whispering something to him that made his whole face twist in disgust.

"Get the hell away from me," Punk snapped at Trish when she tried to run her fingers through his hair.

Daisy saw red.

Every time Trish was in the ring with her, she didn't hold back. Harder kicks, tighter holds, forcing Trish into corners, making sure she felt it. Punk could see the fire in her eyes, and for once, he wasn't the target.

But Trish wasn't backing down.

At the right moment, she caught Daisy off guard, tripping her legs out from under her before locking in a deep submission hold. The crowd roared as Trish yanked back, trying to make Daisy tap.

Daisy clenched her teeth, shaking her head. She refused.

Punk's hand gripped the tag rope so tight his knuckles turned white. "Come on, princess, fight through it."

Daisy growled in frustration, the pain shooting through her back, but she dug her nails into the mat and dragged herself toward Punk.

Trish tightened the hold.

Punk slammed his free hand against the turnbuckle, his voice sharp. "Don't tap, Daisy! Come on!"

Daisy gritted her teeth and screamed in effort, inching closer, her fingertips barely grazing Punk's hand—

And then, with one last desperate push, she made it.

Punk slapped her hand, tagging himself in, and immediately launched himself over the ropes, clotheslining Trish so hard she hit the mat with a thud.

Daisy collapsed against the apron, panting, her body on fire—but she refused to take her eyes off Punk.

Because for the first time in a long time, he looked angry for her.

As soon as Trish tagged Cody in, Punk didn't waste a second.

He lunged.

A brutal takedown. A flurry of stiff punches. He wasn't just fighting Cody—he was pummeling him. Every punch, every knee, every hard strike carried the weight of all the bullshit Cody had put Daisy through.

Daisy, still catching her breath in the corner, watched Punk unload on him. She knew Punk fought dirty, but this? This was different. Personal.

Cody barely got a hit in. Punk was relentless. And when he finally hit the GTS, the crowd exploded.

1... 2... 3.

The bell rang. They won.

Punk stood over Cody's fallen body, chest heaving, running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair. Then he turned to Daisy, a smug, satisfied grin on his face as he held out a hand to her.

Like that was supposed to fix everything.

Daisy looked at his hand, then up at him, her face unreadable.

Punk expected her to be happy. Relieved. Even a little impressed by the way he beat the shit out of Cody for her.

But she just... walked past him.

Didn't take his hand. Didn't look at him. Just slipped out of the ring and started up the ramp without a single word.

The crowd was still cheering, still celebrating their win, but Punk? He was frozen. His arm still outstretched, his stomach twisting.

Because it hit him all at once.

She was still upset. Still hurting. Still heartbroken over what he said earlier.

And he had no clue how the hell he was supposed to fix it

Back in the locker room, the decorations Daisy had worked so hard on still hung in place—balloons, streamers, a small banner that read Happy Birthday, You Asshole in her messy handwriting. The gifts she had picked out sat neatly on the bench, wrapped with care.

Punk let out a low breath, rubbing the back of his neck as he took it all in.

"Damn," he said, trying for lighthearted. "You really went all out, huh? You sure you didn't get Drew to do all this? I mean, he seems like the thoughtful type—"

Daisy sat on the bench unlacing her boots, silent.

Punk's smirk faltered. He tried again.

"I mean, this is a lot of effort for a guy who just kicked Cody's ass in your honor. You could at least say 'thank you'—"

Nothing.

She didn't look at him. Didn't acknowledge him. Just kept her focus on her boots, her face unreadable, her shoulders stiff.

Punk exhaled, pushing his hands into his hips. "Alright, silent treatment. Cool. Real mature."

Still, nothing.

Punk sighed and walked over to the decorations, flicking one of the balloons. "These balloons are kinda sad. You didn't spring for the good helium ones? Cheap ass."

Not even a flicker of amusement.

He turned to her again, softer this time. "Daisy..."

She yanked her boots off and stood up, moving past him toward her bag, like he wasn't even there.

That one stung.

Punk clenched his jaw, watching her, his stomach twisting with something he hated—guilt.

She had done all this for him. After everything he said to her. And now, she wouldn't even look at him.

And the worst part? He deserved it.

[crownedwille]

Anybody else sad and angry about the treatment of Wilhelm and Simon as characters and wilmon as a relationship in s3 and how much they were done dirty?

How Wille was such a shitty friend towards Felice and a shitty bf towards Simon, deliberately ignoring both of their troubling predicament and feelings about Sara in pursuit of his own happiness and was never there for them and put his own issues behind for once, no, it was always Simon and Felice who had to swallow down their own feelings and support him even when they weren't feeling good and he never even seemed to notice or care.

I hate how Wille was painted as extra selfish and self-centered this season and unaware of his privileges and not once truly acknowledging and recognising that and his own faults and taking responsibility for his actions. Or being interested in speaking up and inspiring change and not wanting to hold up the status quo. And stopped going to therapy and working on his anxiety and other problems. I hate how he regressed from S2 and any of his growth and parts of his character were ignored for the message they wanted to convey. I love him to bits but S3 Wille is not my Wille. Honestly it's character assassination and it makes me furious.

And there being such an emphasis on the negative and the narrative making Simon suffer so much and be so miserable for most of the season. It sucks. Also Simon reacting the way he did to online hate, him being uncharacteristically naive and clueless and putting so much weight on what people say on the internet about him. I understand it's something that affects you and they're both teenagers who don't always behave rationally and their situation is a lot to handle but I still expected from Simon to understand their circumstances better because I think of him as clever and smarter than to be against having a private insta and responding to trolls.

I want to put a huge disclaimer that this is not me hating on the characters! I love them both and that's why this behavior is so upsetting to me. I'm not so much judging them, I'm more judging the writer's decisions for these character developments.

If you have to twist your characters like that to make your plot work and bring across your message then maybe that plot is not working...

And how wilmon was never allowed to have good communication and growth but only had fanservicey makeout moments in between the fighting and always talked past each other and were not truly able to be there for each other and work with each other as a united front and have meaningful conversations about their lives and get to know each other better, which is all we wanted from s3. But instead they were torn apart and their relationship made worse and worse, only succeeding on proving how incompatible they are and what a terrible couple they actually make.

And no, it was not necessary to do all these things. I absolutely refuse to accept the argument that this is all the crown's fault and that's the excuse for Wille's behavior and they could've never been happy and Simon has to give himself up and lose himself. No. That is a choice. The writers decided this is the only way they can bring their message across and get to the outcome they wanted. I'm not saying there shouldn't be any conflict but we could've had problems and drama that built off of what has been established in s1 and s2, showcasing the growth they both went through and find a way for them to work it out and be genuinely happy boyfriends in the season. The writers just didn't want that.

It truly makes me upset that I can't even enjoy their "happy"/makeout scenes because they are only enjoyable out of context but I can't appreciate them for real because it doesn't actually feel earned and they were only little reprieves in midst the miscommunication and Wille and Simon were not really in a good place for almost all of it.

And now I'm supposed to be happy for them and believe that everything is fixed and better in the future without them having given me any indication about it in the show? Ignoring facts that will always be true for them. Being in the public eye. Having to deal with hate comments. Wilhelm always being a part of the royal family. That allegedly they don't have to deal with any of that in the future anymore?

They specifically made this arc and made their gap and differences so wide and severe in s3 to tell me they are not capable of working through and handling these things together that will realistically always be a part of their relationship no matter what but I'm supposed to be rooting for them?

Like any of their mistreatment is justified and worth it for the "happy" ending they got and makes it all okay. It is not, they were done dirty and they (and we) deserved better.

[burninblood]

guys, I sense a lot of tension about this whole buckynat situation XD ... there is even some hate going on on "X" saying they should have stayed broken and stuff... and, listen, I understand, this kind of reunion wasn't what we was hoping for after all these years (10 years?!?!) and of course we had better scenarios in our mind and we were hoping for more good character work (or any characters work at all!), and we want to hear Nat's version (eheh) and these writers are, let's say, uhm, not so good...

BUT

these are american superhero comics for you in 2024. No greatly written for most part, action focused all the time, little or not at all character development, aiming to reach big sales or them get cancelled, flowing with the MCU synergy and stuff. And I tell you as someone who has read comics her whole life (and I had a loooong life, ok XDDD): bad moments in comics come and go, and poor characters run through a lot of shitty writing, and this happens all the time.

Are Lanzing and Kelly good writers? No. HELL NO.

Do I think Cold War was the worst thing written in the media in the maybe last 5 years? YES with a cherry on top! 100% YES.

Is Thunderbolts a good mini series? ... Well, not really. Better than SOL and CW, but still, we're not quite there yet. It was basically random, with a stretched plot that I can't even recall, and really not a team book since it doesn't focused on any of its characters for real. 'Cause you know, I said it before: no character work, just action action and more action.

Is Bucky written by L&K good? No. He isn't. But to be honest he wasn't good in a lot of other comics too, sadly. He has been worse, he has been better. He will improve at some point, that's the cycle.

All this said, am I happy they brought buckynat back? YES. I AM SUPER HAPPY 'cause it opens for possibility!!!

If they gain some more audience as a couple there are more opportunities for them to get more exposure, to be feautured into other comics (in the current cap run written by Straczynski for example?) more and better content, not only together but on their own too! I think them both didn't have a good comic since... 2018??? Nat even earlier probalby, but it's important they somehow stay relevant in the stories 'cause this is how this whole circus works (sad): the characters who sell better get more stories, more comics, better comics from better writers (... hopefully!)! It's bad, but that's the comic market guys.

Idk, it just feels so sad to me that we have waited for so long for buckynat reunion and when it happened finally it left us with just a bittersweet aftertaste... I think this is inevitable 'cause we had so many hopes and we pushed it bigger than life into our heads, and this is reality XD...But realistically speaking, I was never expecting their reunion to be that different from what we got in the end.

It's good to be disappointed, it's right, but let's turn this into a good occasion then, let's try to stay positive and maybe try to exorcise the bad in it by taking a creative angle on the matter: let's write meta about Natasha's pov, let's write fics, let's do edits, fanarts, let's discuss it. But wishing it never happened and dragging them badly...

I know we all feel like they deserved better, and I agree, but let's consider this just THE BEGINNING. It's a starting point and we should keep our fingers crossed for something good to come!

Let's not give up!!!

I'm sorry if this is so long and a whole lot of useless blablabla bhubhubhu, but some of the stuff I'm reading around is starting to be really depressing and a bit too negative considergin the whole situation, and it's a shame 'cause I feel like we should be at least a tiny bit happier here around <3 :D

Let me know what you think of all this mess (or not, lmao) if you want! <3

[cherriegyuu]

breaking point | yjh

pairing: jeonghan x fem!reader genre: angst word count: 1.5k a/n: something to celebrate jeonghan's birthday, who even writes angst as birthday present?

this is part of my series, seventeen as songs from lover (ts)

Jeonghan ➝ AfterglowThis ultraviolet morning light below Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh ↳ Jeonghan was never one to lose his patience with people, least of all you. But one day a fight gets out of control and it leaves you wondering if your relationship has come to an end.

The sound of the door closing still echoed through your mind. It had been hours since Jeonghan left but you were still sitting in the same spot, eyes locked on the door as if he was going to burst through at any second. 

You knew that he wasn't. At that moment you didn’t even know if you'd ever see Jeonghan again. He was so angry when he left, rightfully so. 

All of your fights had been rational ones, both of you would calm down for a little a while before talking again. The screaming matches weren't something either of you were into but your fights had never gotten that big before. Not even once. 

It seemed as if the one thing you had always been afraid of finally came to light. 

You and Jeonghan weren't well matched, you were too different. From the way you were raised to the way you saw the world. 

Jeonghan had an almost romantic view of everything around him. While he was one to play an infinite amount of pranks on his friends, he was never overly mean about it – if he was mean at all –, and those pranks only happened because he wanted to win whichever game they were playing. To him, because he wasn't someone who would intentionally hurt anyone, it was hard to understand why someone would. And while you thought that was beautiful, that trace of naivety, you also saw it as infuriating.

So when a coworker went over him, and claimed Jeonghan's project as his own, you couldn't hold back the petty I told you he would do that to you. Because you had in fact talked to Jeonghan so many times about it. However, Jeonghan didn't seem to see it, at all.

"I don't think we should be having this conversation right now" he sighed, sitting on the opposite side of the couch. 

He was tired and stressed, the last thing he needed was to hear those words from you. Especially when all he wanted the entire day was to get to you, rest his head over your thighs while you played with his hair.

But you didn't seem to see it or you didn't care, he wasn't too sure. 

"This is the exact moment we should be having this conversation because when morning comes you'll just forget about this feeling and you'll let him or any other idiot out there do the same thing to you  again"

Jeonghan couldn't help the distressed groan that left him. He hated how the whole situation sounded like a joke coming from your lips, how you had this little spark in your eyes — as if you were enjoying his misery.

"You can't possibly be angry at me," you said "I told you again and again that he was an asshole, that he would screw you over the second he got the chance. Like always, you didn't listen. The world isn't this great place, Jeonghan. Your friends are awesome but the world is actually really shitty and, apparently, you're the only that doesn't fucking see it"

He shook his head at you and stood up. Jeonghan pushed his feet inside his shoes and opened the other.

"You're leaving?"

"You know, the most rational part of my brain told me not to come here today" he scoffed, voice slightly rising "Because I knew you'd pull this shit and this was the last thing I needed"

You stood up but didn't dare to move an inch closer to him.

"I didn't do anything!"

"I wanted to be comforted!" he all but screamed "I had an awful day and all I wanted, all I needed, was for you to tell me that everything was going to be okay, that maybe I could talk with my boss and show him that it was actually me who did all the work. But you decided that what I needed was to remember feeling like shit"

All of your neighbors could probably hear the fighting. Jeonghan held the door open, chest heaving in evident distress.  

"Please let me know when you find my girlfriend, because whoever this is" he waved his hand  in your direction "isn't her"

He slammed the door shut behind him, hard enough that you felt the windows shake. 

It had been over three hours since Jeonghan left and the only difference was that you sat back down. You couldn't move or anything else. 

While you were talking with him, you knew that you were pushing him too far, saying more than you should. It wasn't the time, everything was wrong. Yet, you couldn't stop the words from coming out.

You knew that you were projecting. That there was no real reason for you to be acting that way, Jeonghan did nothing and was right, all he needed was comfort. And maybe it was your own insecurities talking, your shit month at work, how although you told him otherwise you always behaved just like him and your coworkers were throwing their work at you and did nothing about it. The you acted with Jeonghan was the way you should have reacted at your own job but the words simply died on your lips whenever they were around.

You grabbed your phone from the couch, it was almost two in the morning. You knew Jeonghan was probably home by then but still, you wanted to make sure. Touching your phone a few times, you called Seungkwan.

"Is he home yet?" you asked as soon as the line connected.

"Hello to you too" you could picture Seungkwan rolling his eyes “and yes, he’s home”

Silence followed. You didn’t have anything else to say and you knew Seungkwan was probably a little angry at you. His voice had a little edge to it. You knew Jeonghan, he probably didn’t say anything to his roommate, but it was written all over his face that you had gotten into a fight. 

“Should I leave the door unlocked?” Seungkwan asked with a sigh.

Finally, your eyes filled with tears and you let out a sob. The tears refused to fall since Jeonghan left. The tightness in your throat was so unbearable that it was a wonder you managed to say those four words tho Seungkwan. 

“Don’t cry, fix it” he said before ending the call.

On your way to Jeonghan’s place, your mind was racing. The darkest part of your brain took over and made you believe that your relationship had come to an end, that the fight had been so bad that you had finally reached a point of no return. It took everything in you to not ask the driver to take you back home. 

There was only one way you could ever find out if it was actually over. 

Like he said, Seungkwan left the door unlocked and was kind enough to keep the lights on in the living room. Locking the door behind you, you used your phone as a guide to Jeonghan’s room at the end of the hallway. 

You opened the door quietly, to not startle him or his roommate. 

Jeonghan had his back turned to the door, body curled into a small ball. You got into bed behind him, legs adjusting to his and you wrapped your arm around his waist, forehead pressed to back.

Jeonghan’s body stiffened for a second and then relaxed once he realized it was you. 

“I’m sorry,” you said before he could say anything “I don’t know why I said those things, why I didn’t just hug you and say that it was going to be okay, that we could find a way to fix it”

Jeonghan turned on the bed, now facing you. The room was so dark you could barely make out the shape of his body, even after your eyes had gotten used to the lack of light.

“I need you to understand limits, yn. Sometimes you just keep pushing and pushing, and you don’t notice when the other person is at their limit”

His voice was low, a mixture of sleep and resentment. 

“And I end up hurting the people I love the most,” you said quietly, you ran your hand up from his chest to his neck. It wasn’t sexual in any way, you just needed to feel him as much as possible, needed him to understand that you meant every word that you said “I’m really sorry. I don’t want to give you excuses, I just want to apologize. I don’t want to hurt you, ever. All I want to do is to love you, show you all the bright and beautiful places in the world. Always. Forever”

Jeonghan held your face and kissed your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, and finally your lips. He tucked your head on the crock of his neck and for a second it was so easy to lose yourself in him.

“Sleep now, love. We can talk more in the morning” 

He hugged you tightly and that was enough to give you hope that maybe there was still some part of your relationship that could be saved. 

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[emojellyace08]

Gun Park ; Park Jonggun x Reader! (headcannons)

A/N: Here's for the delulu simps like me bc why not :) Genre: fluff? (I guess) pairing: character x reader (gender neutral don't mind the pics if you're a dude reading this lol)

Headcannon: I don't really think Gun is affectionate? This may sound off putting for some but I just think he doesn't really care about dating. This man is obsessed with fighting.

But it will be a miracle if you managed to make this gangster fall for you. His type is pretty much someone who is physically strong yet still being fair and just. He really hates bratty and whiny people (except for Goo but he's still an ass tbh).

If you're the soft and quiet type, Gun won't bother you too much. He will just let you be. In fact it's much better like that because he's not really too talkative unless something interesting caught his attention (about gangs and crews to no one surprise). If you're really friendly and somehow bubbly yet act and think in a mature manner in tough situations he might peek a slight interest on you.

If you're physically weaker he won't mind being your personal body guard if you have the power (like money) to pay him off. If you're just acting like a damn coward he won't care in the first place and he'll let you solve your own problems. But if you really need assistance (at some points he does understand that not everybody is able to protect themselves from others) and if he doesn't mind your presence, he'll be willing to kick someone's ass to protect you. And if he sees a potential in your combat skills he would whoop you off in training.

But despite being a fearless monster at times, I do think Gun still likes a partner who still cares for him yet not too clingy. Someone who will be able to show it in their own and unique way is what I mean. I think he'll appreciate it if his partner can handle themselves on their own because he's really busy most of the time. He also finds it attractive when their partner puts effort on everything that they do and not giving up despite their situations getting shitty at times. He thinks that characteristic is one of the things that makes them strong, at least in a mental and emotional way.

If he started catching feelings for you, I'm sorry but it wouldn't be too obvious. It's just Gun being Gun. He's not really the flirty type of guy, but I guess his love language will be acts of service. Examples are when he opens the door for you and letting you walk in first and protecting you from everybody who tries to lay a finger on you. You may think that he's just doing his job, but the more times you spent together his attraction will be a little bit more obvious.

Not really the jealous type but he'll go a bit bonkers when someone tries to talk to you because of their really foul intentions. He'll use that ass as his personal punching bag if they ever tried to touch you. He might get a bit jealous with Goo when the blonde talks to you too much but he doesn't really mind for the most part. He knows that bastard is just messing around.

When Gun confesses to you, he'll be casual and cool about it. There's no hint of nervousness in his voice or body language. And he will talk about his feelings on the most random scenarios which can make you flabbergasted since it's really unexpected tbh. "Y/N, this may sound a bit intriguing but I think I like you in a really different way. You seemed very fascinating and it makes me really excited. I wouldn't mind if I made you my partner right now".

If you don't like him, you may see a bit of a disappointed frown on his lips and he'll apologize for being "rude". However he'll pretty much get over with it and move on. Yes, it's that fast. At least he confessed earlier before his feelings turn more intense. And he'll still be acquaintances with you if you don't mind. But he'll respect your decision if he makes you uncomfortable and he'll get a new job.

BUTTTT, if you REALLY LIKE HIM he'll get a bit surprised that you caught feelings for him. He wouldn't expect someone like you to fall in love with someone like him. And if you somehow see the good in him despite him being a total psycho in fighting, he'll actually appreciate it.

Gun will also appreciate if you cook for him after he's done with work. Fast food and take out taste good but he just thinks it's really unhealthy if he eats too much calories and fat. So preparing simple dishes is enough for him.

Not really a fan of PDA and public dates? Gun knows that you and him are dating. So it doesn't mean that both of you always need to go outside and waste your money in Disney Land 💀. But if you're pushy about it he can't do anything about it since in some ways he does want you to enjoy even if he's hating every single inch being in a childish amusement park. So expect him to have that poker face for a very long period of time lmao. But still, he probably enjoys it in some way and finds it a bit hilarious when you screech at the top of your lungs at rides and he's just staring at you like -_- "It's not even that scary" "SHUT UP I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF A HEART ATTACK THERE!". Knowing that this bastard loves thrills that will make him enliven, he wouldn't hesitate to put you in situations that will shock you in a good and bad way (like letting you ride a roller coaster) but he's not that boneheaded to put you in potential harm and push you off to your limits (unlike Goo who is a crack headed bastard).

He's not really empathetic but he will try to understand your situations when you're not emotionally well. If you're upset because of someone else's fault Gun will probably confront the person (even beating them if they tried to fight back and not being honest). But if he feels like you need to work on yourself, prepare to hear some constructive criticisms on his side. His words might sound harsh but he's trying his best to help you out, so don't take anything personally in a negative way.

Gun wouldn't really mind cuddling with you. It also calms his mind and body. And for him, it feels a bit different. Almost weird if you asked me. Now, don't get me wrong in some type of way he does like spending some time with you especially when he has his day off (which rarely happens my apologies). He's just really used with moving his body and beating 500 or more enemies. But he does find it a bit relaxing to get a break with you even for a single day.

Overall he's not the romantic boyfriend but not the worst if you're not ticking him off. It can be a challenge to get along with Gun with the first place so good luck with that.

A/N: I'll probably make a NSFW with Gun but I still haven't finished UI Daniel so if you don't mind, you can be patient about me procrastinating lol good night.