#sadness is me when i have to face the fact that i cant write for all of them all the time fjfkgdd

[aka-indulgence]

I don’t have a fancy Venn Diagram but here’s some of my fictional beloved(s) categorized

There are 2 wolves, Elegance and w h a t

[how-the-feathers-have-fallen]

Dumping the start of the tags here cause tumblr has a tag limit of 30 :/ sorry op

Okay hold on

also more things I couldn't fit in. after cuddy bails out choreman chase gets assigned a bunch of clinic hours as Punishment TM. But mom-dad wilson (house is dad-mom) keeps him company till house gets angsty and comes to bail him out pick him up.

More I couldn't fit in at the end so I dumped here outta order:

wilson teahces the ducklings to paint since obvi house passed down his musical talents

rich kid chase got assigned clarinet at age 6. he's ok but has 0 heart. house jokingly points him towards a lyre in a music shop and he takes to it instantly. house go to tease him (baby angel lookin-) but chase looks so overjoyed and he says something like "look just like David played for Saul" so he melts on the spot (and convinces wilson to by him a kinnor so he doesn't know its his idea. he sings like a screeching alterboy tho)

I think cameron can sing but she's quiet and stumbles so she refuses to get formal training. she's tear rendering on a cello tho. surprisingly she can dj like all hell too. she had a wild college life before her 1st husband

foreman can sing smooth as silk. but he can't play an instrument to save his life (no patient for it). his dancing though? stage worthy. can be convinced to show off after a couple drinks.

Obsessed with the whole vibes of early season one of House. The ducklings have the energy of dysfunctional siblings along with their insane Vicodin-addict father. Wilson isn’t shown to have an office yet so he just lingers at House’s side while constantly and giving him fuck-me eyes. Wilson will just sit in on diagnoses and give his advice like he doesn’t have any responsibilities in the world. When the team needs to (illegally) shrink a patient’s tumor so it’s small enough to operate on, Wilson just says “alright” and does it along with Cameron. Chase does a silly American accent to fool a patient’s mother and it WORKS. Foreman is new and already despises everyone. House comments on how fuckable Wilson looks when Wilson is simply wearing a green tie and nice shoes. An old woman says that House has the same bedroom eyes as Ashton Kutcher. At one point the team, House, Wilson, and Cuddy all gather together in the small lab room to discuss a patient and are all basically brushing shoulders. Wilson reads a love poem out loud in the middle of the hospital to House. House eats tomato sauce that the team suspected was killing the patient. Wilson ditches his wife on Christmas Eve to go hang out with House and it shows a montage of them laughing and eating take-out. Cuddy greets House and Wilson by saying “hi, boys” like they’re kids. Foreman and Cameron are tasked to search a patient’s home and Foreman eats the ham he found in their fridge because he was hungry. The first scene with House shows him and Wilson walking down the hallway literally brushing hands and shoulders despite the hallway being huge. One of the first things Wilson does is lie to House. Wilson asks House — who rarely ever takes cases unless he finds them really interesting — to take a case and House just takes it. When asked why it was so easy, House just looks at Wilson with a smirk and says “you know why” and then they both smile at each other. This is all in the span of the first eight episodes.

[keferon]

I should be asleep but this is consuming me.

So have this poorly thought out fic drabble idea of mine:

Prowl is in pain, hurt and agony, physically and emotionally. He shouldn't have let Jazz convince him, he should have listened to that tingly uncertain feeling on his spark about this

But dammit was Jazz so...so convincing. It pained him to realise how much he wanted to trust the organic.

What didn't help was that bastard in front of him giving him mock grief. Prowl knew he did not care at all about how he feels, he knew there was some sort of sick enjoyment to all of this.

"Sorry, he couldn't come visit again. He actually had to help out with the newest mech, in fact, this prototype had one of your own parts in it!" Prowl wanted to sob, twisted asshole.

Suddenly, something seemed to have caught the organic's attention. Prowl didn't hear it at first, but once the man in front of him turned around in confusion, he heard it, there was some sort of commotion on the other side of the door.

Suddenly, before any of them could question what was going on, the doors burst out open with an explosion, causing many tools to clatter to the ground as the ground shook.

"GET AWAY FROM MY PARTNER!" Prowl, in a weak yet desperate attempt, turned his head to look at the direction of the voice. He recognised it-

"Jazz?" He spoke weakly. That seemed to have crushed the organic's soul, his face crumbling from his previous rage, before, in a blink of an eye, it turned back to fury. Fury so strong it could kill whoever dared look.

"Jazz?!" The twisted man standing in front of Prowl's face looked offended if not straight out annoyed at the other's presence. "What are you-?" He couldn't even finish his sentence before the other dropped whatever it was he had been holding and jumped on top of him. The two fought for a while, Jazz punching the guy a few times on the face before grabbing him by the neck of his shirt and throwing him to the other side of the room.

Jazz huffed, making sure to keep his eyes on his target for a second to see if that was enough to have knocked him out. It was. And once he was sure the guy wouldn't come back at him, he turned to look at Prowl, who so far, has only made move to watch the whole thing go down.

It took a while for the mech to properly process how Jazz looked, how he looked at him. Guilt, pain, sadness, exasperation even. It almost seemed like he was...crying?

"Prowl!" His partner? Ex-partner? (He wasn't sure anymore), ran to grasp his face, and he let him, to weak to fight back like he wanted to. Then he felt it, small droplets of water fall down his faceplates, 'Oh, so he was crying'. "I'm so sorry, i shouldn't have brought you here- we, we need to get you out-" as he moved, Prowl took notice of how dishevelled the other looked, the sudden smell of iron making him realise that he seemed to be covered in blood, if it was his own or not, Prowl wasn't sure, perhaps it was both. Taking a closer look, he started to notice all the small bruises and scratches on Jazz's face, in fact he took notice of a limp on his left leg too.

The other just seemed to be mumbling to himself as he tried to free Prowl, who so far has not spoken all that much, he felt too weak and tired, and he really had nothing to say other than a simple reply to what Jazz said before but he didn’t process it till now

"You really shouldn't have..."

---

Ok that's all i have rn, bc I'm not much of a writer and idk how to write these characters so they might be a bit OOC sorry ^^;;

But feel free to like add and/or fix anything to this.

Just wanna add the note that maybe, the reason Jazz found out is bc he recognised Prowl's plating on the new mech thing they built ;)

OH MY GOD I CANT EVEN

RAAAAHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS. OH FUCK. THI s. SO GOOD AND PAINFUL IM ASCENDING TO SOME NEW UNDISCOVERED DIMENSIONS

ALSO. oh my fucking god you have galaxy brain for this. imagine the horror Jazz feels when he sees this random new robot his boss wants to test. And it’s plating is so freaking familiar. He runs his hands along the panels. And he recognises them, even repainted. Because he spent so much time sitting on them, repairing them, crawling on them with his magnets. Sleeping on them even. He sees the “scar” from the time he helped Prowl to fix his armor and welded some cracks in it.

And now the fucking plates are here but Prowl isn’t.

[moody-alcoholic]

Truth

I am not ignorant to the fact I’m writing a gay sex scene and everyone is hanging out in Syria. Resources below.

Guardians of Equality Movement

Syria LGBTQI+ Resources

Equaldex LGBT rights in Syria

I cant stop writing for this series. Every time I say I'll take a break I pump out another outline...

MDNI +18 content

Summary: Ghoap x Reader, throuple. Slow burn (sorry but not sorry). 2.7k words. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe.

CW: MDNI +18 content Mentions of torture, torture, smut, blowjob (male receiving & giving), language. First proper Johnny x Simon scene, IDK it just felt right...

Previous parts - masterlist - next part

Enjoy <3

Johnny was grabbing something to eat in the canteen when he watched Ghost walked over to him. He knew something was wrong, he had that cold look in his eyes. The one he gets when he has to focus on the job and nothing else matters, not even him. Johnny swallowed hard standing up to meet Ghost. 

“Come.” It’s all he says but it makes the hairs stand up on the back of Johnny’s neck. Johnny follows they walk into an observation room. Johnny gasps when he sees you handcuffed the table head hanging down.

“What happened?” Johnny asked looking round the room his eyes falling on Jack who’s stood there arms crossed. 

“We believe she’s responsible for the murder of the doctor.” Jack says. Johnny laughs, looking around at everyone else being serious.

“Christ, what’s the evidence?” Johnny asked.

“Her ID was used to withdraw large amounts of insulin which is believed to be the cause of death.” Johnny looked at Jack shocked then at Price. 

“Has she said anything?” Johnny asked feeling sick. There is no way you did that, this has to be a set up, something… Johnny just knew it in his gut, you were innocent.

“No, she’s not talking.” Price said, Johnny could hear something in his voice. Sadness? Annoyance?

“I heard you are very good at your job lieutenant,” Jack says taking a step closer to Ghost. 

“‘Pends on what you heard.” Ghost replies remaining still, looking through the one way glass you’ve not moved, not wanting them to see your pained expression.

“I heard you can get people to talk, and we really need her to talk.” Jack says. 

“We can try other ways before sending Ghost in.” Price says. Jack scoffs.

“If she’s been trained by the enemy she won’t break.” He says walking to the door. 

“You have 24 hours to get her to talk or you’re out of here.” Everyone looked at Price. He went to sit down.

“You heard him, make her talk.” Price says.

“We don’t torture innocent people.” Ghost’s voice is level, he still hasn’t moved. 

“We’re not torturing anyone just question her you’ve got to buy me some time, look like you’re doing your jobs so I can figure out a solution.” Price sighs.    

“It’s wrong.” Johnny says. Price sighs again getting up. 

“LT, Gaz go to security I want anything you can find, from the moment she wakes up in the morning to the second she’s asleep. She takes a piss I want to know about it, where her card was swiped who has seen her anything, and quickly before Jack can replace staff.” Price says as he walks over to Johnny. 

“Come on let’s go have a chat with her, maybe she’ll tell us something useful” Price says his hand on Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny knows Price is trying to calm him but there is nothing on the face of the world right not that can slow his mind. He looks back through the window, guilt rises up as Ghost and Gaz leave the room. It’s times like this Johnny envies Simon being able to hide his face. Price squeezes his shoulder he looks in Price’s eyes, they look sad understanding. It doesn't make Johnny feel any better.

—————————— 

You can’t look at Simon’s eyes when he’s the room, the caramel eyes you used to lose yourself in, they’re just dark now, dark and uncaring. Johnny’s in sometimes, he won’t even look at you let alone in your eyes any more, the eyes you used to look in for comfort, love, hope. You don’t know what's worse. Price is the one who questions you, always the same questions. 

How did you do it? 

Why did you do it? 

Who do you work for? 

How long have you known about 141? 

Did you get close to them on purpose? 

Did you use them to get information on 141? 

Why?

He never says their names, Johnny, Simon. It’s always just ‘them’ he doesn’t have to say their names, you know who he means. Maybe you did betray them? Maybe this was all your fault? 

By the second day you can’t remember the doctors name, just the fact he’s leaving a kid and a wife behind. You’re moved into a windowless cell, you’re woken up at random times, you’re starting to lose track of time. It’s only after what you think is the third day it becomes violent. Jack is the only one who’s violent, he’s around a lot more, there are new questions. 

Why this base? 

Why now? 

Do you know anything about the arms sales to Al-qatala? 

Have you ever been to Urzikstan? 

Why kill an innocent doctor? 

Why insulin? 

Why are you betraying 141? 

Why?

Jack is the only one who will look you in the eye, he likes to look you in the eyes but he’s not kind. You become numb to the attacks, the repetitiveness of the torture, you hate that word, torture, it makes you feel guilty. You’re not guilty. Or maybe you are. 

“I wouldn’t use insulin.” You say after a particularly rough session. 

“What’s that?” jack asks, his face up in yours but you can still only just make out his features, nose, lips, chin, in your blurry haze he just looks angry. 

“If I was going to kill him I wouldn’t use insulin, too easy to be traced.” He doesn't like that answer, he doesn’t like anything you say if it’s true or not. 

You enjoy Gaz’s visit’s, he’s the member of 141 you had not met yet, he brings you food, soup or rice mostly. He doesn't question you, doesn't talk to you. Just tries to feed you food, or at least swallow gulps of water that burn your throat. He doesn’t need to do this for you, you don’t know him, he makes you feel strangely guilty. You used to spit out the food not accepting anything from him, when he said they would start tube feeding you, you relented accepting the spoonful's of thick soup or rice and beans. He’s got kind eyes. 

You don’t see Simon or Johnny anymore, maybe they’ve given up on you, maybe they don’t care. Jack tells you they don’t care. Price is there sometimes you think, it’s getting harder to tell, the passage of time becoming almost impossible to follow, you think it’s been 3 days, maybe 4, maybe 5. Your stomach growls, you haven’t seen the sunlight in days. Your body hurts from being upright all the time. 

“You should give her a break.” It’s Simon’s voice that pulls you out of your half conscious state. You see him stood in the door way, all black, his face covered. It’s not the voice you know, not the kind voice you’re used to it’s something different. It makes you shiver, makes the hairs stand up on your body. You try not to cry, only letting tears fall down your face after Gaz has been, then you know you’ll be left alone for a few hours. You don’t want to let them break you but it’s becoming harder to think.    

Someone bursts bursts through the door to the room pinning Jack to the wall. The noise makes you jump and you try to lift your head up but it’s too hard, your neck hurts. You blink hearing shouting, then you feel hands on your face, it feels like Johnny’s hands they’re warm he’s forcing you to look at his face. Everything is blurry you try to squint. You feel movement behind you. 

“I’m so sorry it took us so long love.” It’s Johnny’s voice you’re sure, your head is spinning though, you can’t tell. Your eyes move past Johnny, you think you see Simon, you think that’s him, you feel your head slump in Johnny’s hand as your restraints are cut lose. You must of blacked out for a second because the next thing you know is being on the floor. Johnny scoops you up in his arms and you lean up against his chest. 

“it's over now, we've got you.” Johnny whispers in your ears. You’re blinded by lights as Johnny carries you out to the room to the medbay. You recognise the smell, that’s a good thing you’re not totally broken, you can smell the clean sheets, the smell of antiseptic. There are hands all over you now, people touching you, so many lights. You reach for Johnny, where did he go? You start to panic trying to pull yourself up. Is it a trick? Are they doing this to finally try and break you? 

“Johnny!” You call searching for his hands. You feel a sharp pain travel down your arm. You feel your breath catch in your throat, your body being pressed down. Maybe this is the end you’re in too much pain and too tired to tell. You feel your body slump down as ringing grows louder in your ears, it doesn’t take long before everything goes black. 

——————————   

Johnny wakes to Simon’s hands on his shoulders. He looks over at your body still unconscious, still with tubes shoved down your throat. Simon pulls a chair up next to him, Simon’s started caring less and less who sees them together, especially at night. 

“The doc’s say the swelling in her head’s gone down.” Johnny says leaning forward in his chair.

“When was the last time you slept?” Simon asks him. 

“Got a nice kip before you woke me.” Johnny replies. Simon sighs, his hand running up the back of Johnny’s neck. 

“You really should get some sleep, some proper sleep.” Simon says. Johnny scoffs. 

“4 days,” he says, looking back up at you. 

“4 day’s, we let her suffer.” Johnny says quieter. Simon sighs his forehead resting on Johnny. Simon know’s how guilty Johnny feels, he feels the same too, he’s just better at hiding it. 

“Come.” Simon says getting up extending his hand out for Johnny. Johnny looks up at him blinking. 

“Give me five minutes.” Simon pleads. Johnny sighs standing up and following him. He lets Simon guide him all the way to the dorms into Simon’s room. Johnny has never left the bedside since you had been moved to Damascus. Simon had tried to get some alone time with him but he can tell Johnny’s guilt weighs heavy on his shoulders, he want’s to be there when you wake.

Simon pulls Johnny into his room, locking the door. Johnny tries to protest but Simon is too quick, his hands guiding Johnny’s hips pushing him against the wall. Simon’s hand slips under the front of his mask pulling it off over his head, he looks up at Johnny his thumb stroking his cheek. Simon looks almost sad, he can see the pain in Johnny’s eyes, the anger, he feels it too.

Simon presses his lips onto Johnny, forcing his tongue in his mouth as his hands reach under his shirt. Johnny seems to relax for a second enjoying the taste of Simon on his lips, playing with his tongue. Simon pulls away moving to Johnny’s neck planting little kisses all the way down to his collar bones. His head tips back hitting the wall as Simon pulls Johnny’s shirt over his head. 

“Si, we shouldn’t leave her.” Johnny says as Simon is burying his head into Johnny's neck. 

“She’ll be fine.” Simon says his voice low, almost a groan, as he continues to run his tongue down Johnny’s neck, Johnny’s hands moving up Simon’s back eventually running his fingers through his hair. Johnny doesn’t fight Simon, enjoying the feel of his husbands hands on his body as Simon’s hands slip under Johnny’s waistband pulling his trousers and boxers down. Simon is moving slow, slow and gentle working his hands down Johnny’s stomach to his abdomen, Johnny is almost desperate gripping Simon’s hair as he moves his tongue round Johnny’s body. 

“Si..” Johnny moans as Simon’s hands find their way to Johnny’s semi-hard cock. Simon want’s to almost beg Johnny to relax, instead running his hand up and down his shaft. Johnny presses his forehead on Simon’s chest moaning as he pushes his hands slipping under Simon’s shirt. Johnny trembles as Simon uses both his hands to pleasure him, his breathing becoming faster. Simon keeps Johnny’s body pressed up against the wall as Johnny starts thrusting his hips, fucking Simon’s hands. Johnny had felt this many times before, Simon giving him pleasure, but never quite like this, his emotions high, endorphins pumping through his body, Johnny starts to tense again Simon pulls away, a whimper leaving Johnny’s lips. 

“On the bed.” Simon says guiding him over as Johnny blindly follows his instructions laying flat. Simon takes his boots and the rest of his pants off flinging them to the side. Johnny lays his head back on the pillows as Simon licks the precum off Johnny’s tip making him moan his hands desperately trying to grab Simon’s hair. Simon smiles then thrusts his mouth round his cock taking him all the way to the hilt.

The pleasure is almost overwhelming, Simon can feel it, Johnny’s body shaking a mix of pleasure and stress. Simon doesn't stop his hands running up Johnny’s chest as he positions himself in a more comfortably to suck him off. Johnny moans and gasps as Simon’s tongue presses into the underside of Johnny’s shaft, Simon can feel him twitching in his mouth enjoying each one as he get’s closer to the edge.

Simon can read Johnny’s body like a book, Johnny thinks he’s sly hiding his movements, his cheeky side glances, the heavy petting Johnny does when he’s in the mood, the way his fingers move around Simon’s body forcing his attention. He thinks he’s good at hiding it but Simon knows him, Simon loves him and right now Simon knows he needs to make Johnny relax.

Johnny’s hips are thrusting again Simon’s hands grip his waist trying to keep it in place. Johnny moans Simon’s name as he cums. Simon likes that, hearing Johnny call his name in the heat of the moment, Simon feels his own cock twitching in his pants as he rides Johnny through the orgasm making sure that Johnny is well and truly satisfied before pulling his mouth away. Simon enjoys the taste of Johnny’s cum in his mouth, the feel of his hot seed hitting the back of his throat. Johnny is still panting when Simon moves, sliding up next to him pulling his head on his chest.

Johnny moves to rest on his chest his still heartbeat still racing, Simon takes exaggerated breaths and Johnny subconsciously follows him. Simon reaches down pulling the duvet over Johnny, kissing his face running his fingers through his hair. 

“You need to rest,” Simon says wrapping his arms round Johnny stroking his back. Johnny’s breathing starts to steady as Simon lowers his voice.

“You do this on purpose,” Johnny says sleepily. Simon smiles, he does do it on purpose. Johnny needs to rest, he’s no good to anyone if he can’t think straight.  

“I’ll wake you if anything happens, I promise.” Simon says kissing his forehead.   

——————————   

The knock at the door pulls Johnny out his sleep, he jolts awake almost fighting over Simon to get out of bed. 

“Easy.” Simon says as he moves swinging his legs out so Johnny can get up.

“You said you’d wake me if anything happened.” Johnny sounds frustrated puling his trousers and shirt on. 

“This is the first thing that’s happened.” Johnny throws Simon’s mask at him opening the door before he gets chance to put it on. It’s only Price.

“She’s awake, she’s asking for you.” Price says. Johnny shoves his feet into his boots as Simon gets up off the bed moving over to the door. Johnny looks back at Simon smiling and rushes out the room pushing past Price. Simon follows Price stopping him in the doorway. 

“What do you want to tell her about Jack?” Price asks. Simon sighs. 

“Laswell found anything?” Simon asks walking with Price, he shakes his head. 

“Still looking for a connection, he’ll be punished for the way he questioned her, demoted at the very least, depends on what they feel like. Theres no evidence he spoofed her card we’re lucky there were so many witnesses. We’re lucky we could clear her name so quick.” Price says. It still took 4 days. 

“Think he can justify his actions?” Simon asks. 

“Let’s see, we’ve got other things to focus on now.” Price walks into her room Simon hangs back for a second. A wave of guilt washing over him, he just wanted to hold her jump into bed with her, apologise. 4 days we let her suffer, Johnny’s words replaying in his head. Never again, he promises himself. 

Next part

[the-s1lly-corner]

HI there, hate to bother you but i was wondering if you could do the amazing digital circus head canons for a gn! reader who acts a lot like ena

if you have never heard of it you can check on the ena wiki but i would really love if you did something like this so thanks

TADC x ENA type!GN!reader

typically i would do all the characters in one post, but its starting to get late and tumblr wont let me save half answered asks in my drafts for some reason TToTT so im gonna split the cast in half, if you want the rest of the characters you can send in a second ask so i can remember to do everyone else :0! also my apolocheese for any personality mistakes, i think i watched ena a long time ago but was confused/didnt watch the whole thing so uh uh!! relying on a character wiki for this (on that focuses on season 1 so uh uh, idk if that will impact anything) little bonus bonus incorporating enas color thing into this cuz uh we can say its digital world stuff ooo that gives me an oc idea; oc whos like the mayor from nightmare before christmas who has a spinny head/face thing that relates to their emotions

CAINE:

caines is going to be shorter because hes just your number one fan regardless of your personality, in fact he probably has a silly shirt with your face on it somewhere

will do everything in his power to make sure youre happy and content, and will do everything to cheer you up when you switch over to your sad side

takes you to wherever it is that he 'sleeps' when you get overwhelmed by stuff and keeps you there until both of you are sure that youll be okay and your blues are long gone

you and him easily match energies, sometimes he will even try to one up you with using fancy intricate words

POMNI:

writing pomnis part first but oh funny is it that pomni and ena have the same VA

anyways

absolutely loves you, but she is so so worried about stressing you out and switching to your 'sad form', tries to (often times unsuccessfully) cheer you up

honestly you both need a break, things in the circus are hectic and insane, and considering pomni just got here she is going to need your help to get used to things

not much to be said since i think pomni is another character i struggle to write

JAX:

initially teases you for how fast you switch up, its almost like gangle being more upbeat with her comedy mask and more sad when its broken

tones it down a little when you explain you cant really control it whereas gangles case is just her being more confident with the comedy mask (at least thats my hc)

sometimes give you weird looks when you use an unnecessarily long set of fancy words to describe something mundane

bro is fighting the urge to mimic it

surprisingly does the kind thing, he takes you off to the side when something stresses you out so you can have a minute to compose yourself

RAGATHA:

optimistic sweetheart meets ray of sunshine, you two are an unstoppable force of good and kind of rub off on some of the others

similar to jax when you get stressed out or upset about something, usually when its an in house adventure, she sweeps you to the side and helps calm you down. she probably knows some breathing techniques, i think

ignoring the fact they probably dont need to breathe but thats asides the poin

[yeahspider]

let the light in

Ve’s note - soft fic about chan going back home to australia . this is so fluffy and warm . he is just so lovely and writing about him makes me happy(im drunk as usual so this is sparsely proofread my bad) no warnings sfw !! enjoy <3

the sun was setting as you were finishing up your closing tasks at your parent's record store. picking up a record from the bin you blew gently on it, watching as dust flew off and into the air. this place could use a good dusting you thought to yourself. the clock hit five signifying the end of your shift. at 5:01 the bell above the door chimed alerting you that someone entered.

“we’re closed sorry” you quickly said without looking at who entered. you were tired and ready to eat. you went to grab your purse and head out but stopped seeing the person standing in the doorway. it felt like your heart jumped out of your chest when you made eye contact with Chris.

“I know I'm sorry I was just hoping you’d make an exception for an old friend,” he said with a shy smile. a smile that made your heart swell even if it's been years since you’ve seen it in person. the setting sun illuminated his body. hair in its naturally curly state, teeth on full display. he looked like the young boy who you once loved. the same boy who chased his dream but broke your heart in the process. you could never blame him though. it’s not like you ever confessed. too scared of rejection and unwilling to hold him back from his potential.

“of course, I always have time for you its been so long,” you say to him as you usher him to a chair. your mind still catching up to the fact that he was actually in front of you. tentatively you reached out and brushed his hand, discreetly checking to see if he was real. this was a moment you’ve only dreamed of. chris was still all smiles as you sat across from him.

“i’m sorry i never came to see you sooner. i always meant to but i just chickened out everytime.” he admitted with a blush rising to his cheeks . you wanted to cup his face to feel the blood rush under his skin..

“Why would you chicken out am I that scary,” you say jokingly.

“well i used to have a massive crush on you that i never really got over and i didn’t want it to be weird between us. didn’t want to ruin the familiarity.” he said as a blush ran up his neck. familiarity ? what does that even mean ? and what did he mean he had feeling sfor you? that your pining wasnt singular, but shared. your mind races as seconds drag on after his confession. you cant seem to find the words to decribe what you feel right now. are you relieved? scared? happy? nothing feels quite right.

"I'm sorry i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. let's just forget about it. how have you been?" Chris said trying to save the moment. You could see the embarrassment tinted on his ears.

"wait- you didnt make me uncomfortable i was just shocked. i ..." you hesiated to admit you felt the same way. but he waited for you . your chris . ever so patient. ever so understanding.

"i've had a crush pn you for years." you finally admit. feeling a weight lift off your chest, the pressure in your ears lessening. "ever since you first picked me up from that party years ago. youve always been there for me, even when you were thousands of miles away you checked up on me. so the feelings only grew overtime."

"Are you serious? You've had feelings for me this whole time? I thought you just viewed me as some foolishly ambitious boy. I never thought you would want someone like me." he says, with a look between sadness and relief on his face. you guys have been dancing around each other for years. two idiots in love.

"you were never a fool to me channie. I believed in you wholeheartedly and still do. i always knew you would make your dreams happen."

"let me take you out somewhere. we should reconnenct i want to relearn everything about you, if youll let me." chris said. nothing but smiles and dimples.

of course you agreed. you let him learn everything as long as you could do the same

[star-dust-shark]

pjo incorrect quotes as things me and people I know have said on crack

Jason: these grapes are funky

Leo: these grapes are fucky

Leo: *drops sandwich, cries*

-

Nico: I will never forget the fact that Piper and I where sitting together with headphones on and she looked up only to see me playing air guitar and head banging to whats my age again

-

Solangelo: *kith*

Will: *walking away with a dorky grin*

Will: *almost gets hit by car*

Will: *gets home and screams into pillow for twenty minutes, then picks up diary and writes like five pages about Nico, then texts him for like an hour and a half and afterwards draydreams about him*

Will: hmm I think I might like Nico

-

Leo: imagine having sex and someone moans like a hentai girl lol

Percy: *moans* KyAAaaaAAHHHhhhhhh

-

Reyna: bro apologized like Colleen Ballinger

Reyna: like fuck off I hope you die

Percy: tOxiC GosSiP tRaiN

Jason: not a groomer

Leo: *hair flip* just a loser

-

Piper: Im horny- I mean horngry- I mean- *cries*

-

Nico: mentally I am a fifty year old man

Will: yeah totally not obvious mister motley crue

-

Leo: jason

Leo: I have something to tell you

Jason: yeah?

Leo: Im gay

Jason: WHAT

Jason: NO WAY THATS CRAZY

-

Annabeth: my wrist hurts

Percy: emooooooooooo

Annabeth: I literally sprained it wtf

-

Hazel: no you cant commit mass genocide Nico

Nico: its pride month this is homophobic

-

Reyna: okay how about we play the quiet game

Reyna: whoever wins gets my two dollars

Reyna: three, two, one, ghost town

Frank:

Leo:

Percy:

Annabeth:

Jason:

Nico:

Leo: *face red, fists clenched, rocking back and forth*

Everyone: *concerned looks*

Leo: I cant- IM A BITCH IM A BOSS IM A BITCH AND A BOSS AND I SHINE LIKE GLOSS

-

Piper: your moms hot

Jason: lol what she ugly asf

-

Will: im concerned with your eating habits, Nico

Nico:

Will: its very serious Im kinda scared

Nico:

Nico: womp womp

-

Jason: would you suck my dick if-

Percy: yes

Jason:

Jason: if there was poison in it and I would die if you didnt

-

Leo: ive learnt something interesting

Leo: my arm skin one day may be cut off and turned into a penis

Leo: therefore...

Leo: *bumps arm into Jason*

Leo: JESUS JASON STOP TOUCHING MY PENIS

Jason: WHAT

-

*talking on tumblr*

Hazel: wyd

Frank: jus on tumblr and talking to you

Hazel: lol nerd imagine

-

Hazel: *bats eyelashes* what does gyat mean

Frank: uhh It means generous young amazing t-

Leo: GORL YA ASS THEEK

-

Rachel: Im so single

Will: skill issue? L ratio? no rizz? no game? no bitches?

-

Percy: I havent taken my meds

Annabeth: oh no good gods

Percy: so that means

Percy: I will either try to kill myself orrrrr

Percy: like violently fuck someone

Jason: I volunteer

Jason: I volunteer as tribute

-

Nico: hey girl *winks* r u a racoon

Nico: bc Im trash

Nico: *bursts into tears*

-

Annabeth: *walks into bathroom, sees spider*

Annabeth: *yelps* oh

Annabeth: hello mister spider

Annabeth: youre not so bad

Spider: *moves*

Annabeth: FUCK NAH PERCY WERE MOVING PACK YO BAGS

-

Jason: *hits knee* oh fuck- my knee-

Leo: okay

Jason: *scared* ur gonna fuck my knee????

-

Thalia: I am now a tree a tree I am a tree is me

-

Nico: im actually kinda insecure about my knees weirdly enough

Will: aww bb :(

Will: well I think you uh

Will: ...have beautiful knees???

-

Nico: *jokingly* I can read your mind

Will: oh no

Will: oh shit

Will: thats not good

Nico: it cant be that bad

Will:

Nico: are these thoughts about me, per chance?

Will: WHAAAAT NOOO *hangs up*

-

Leo: daddy hands, twig nerd bod

-

Leo: im confused why can girls call their friends girlfriends but whenever I call Jason my boytoy twink malewife manwhore someone gets pissed

-

Hazel: yeah, this guys really annoying me

Frank: ugh im gonna fist him

Hazel: ...

Frank: what

Frank: like beat him up?

Hazel:

-

Percy: my friend thinks youre cute

Annabeth: what? who?

Percy: me

Percy: Im the friend

Percy: I think ur cute

-

Nico: so weird when someone comforts you

Nico: like why

Nico: just lemme be a moody emo brooding sad angsty depressed boy for a bit

-

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo: *in toad voice* BItCH i SaiD wHaT i sAiD iD rAthEr bE FaMoUs InsTeAd iD LeT aLL Of ThAt GeT To MY heAd I DonT cArE ILL pAinT tHe ToWn ReD

-

Nico: *crafting with scissors*

Percy: *walks in*

Percy: what are you doing

Nico: ...crafting?

Percy: oh okay I thought you where cutting yourself

Nico:

Nico: IM MAKING A HELLO KITTY ART PIECE

-

Leo: *glares*

Frank: *glares back*

Frank and Leo: *glaring at eachother*

Leo: omg I just felt sparks

Frank: DUDE STFU WTF

-

*sees gay porn*

Will: thats it im homophobic

-

Nico: so I wrote this song

Nico: *adjusts mic, positions guitar*

Nico: *deep breath*

Nico: *strums single chord* my whole family died

Nico: thank you, thank you

-

Nico: just realized the only physical contact Ive had in like a whole month was Leo dabbing me up

-

Jason: straights ask why theres no straight pride month but like

Jason: isnt there a toyota month or smth

Jason: id say that works

[theelmoarchive]

Sanders Sides theory (rant). I know im mainly a mh acc here but I have thoughts i need to get out there

(just fyi this theory is Roman centric, I know most TSS people nowadays are talking ab Orange and Logan so if Roman's not interesting then continue on 🔥🔥)

(Also slight TW, talking ab the sides "ducking out" and depression themes, so yeah👍👍)

Okay so. I was scrolling through Sanders Sides theories and found that no one seems to have this theory, even though I thought the Roman angst enjoyers like me would be writing this all over the place but. Ig that means I need to talk about it.

I've had this theory for years now, since the day I first watched SVS Redux.

I think Roman is going to duck out.

I dont know if I have to explain why but. I mean, just looking at the explosive end SVS Redux had will tell you a lot.

He doesn't belive Patton when he tells him they love him. He thinks Thomas has lost all faith in him in favor of the person Roman views as the epitome of evil. He's been switching views left and right to stay on Patton's side (because Thomas prides himself on his morals), but he always ends up doing something wrong - he always ends up as an antagonist. He no longer believes that he is the one thing that being has kept him stable since "Am I Original?" - Thomas' hero. The only side he has a stable and positive relationship with is VIRGIL of all people. And tbh that could quickly be ruined too. Logan is second, though, but that's EXTREMELY fragile, as we've seen.

Roman always does something wrong and it will and has sent him over the edge. From Roman's perspective, with a very flawed view of everyone around him, he is inherently the thing that flaws Thomas.

+ Roman is really dramatic obviously, so ofc he would do this.

When you look at Virgil's reasonings for ducking out, it seems plausible after everything Roman has gone through recently, too. I mean like:

"I quit. Decided it wasn't worth it anymore"

Why would Roman keep fighting a battle he knows he will never win?

"Well, It didn’t seemed like I was wanted. You all made that pretty clear any time I showed up."

Again, from Roman's perspective, he is constantly and consistently antagonized.

"If I wanted to stand around being insulted, I would've shown up I would've shown up in person like I usually do."

[same thing]

"I actually think you were right to not want me around."

Roman fears that he is becoming the villain (as we see in SVS, SVS Redux and DWIT).

(In fact, Roman has already said something quite similar to that last one in sentiment.

In SVS Redux, Roman says this, which is pretty funny because of the dramatics and the stupidity, and does get shot down quickly, but I am begging you to listen to him.

"The blame falls to me. If you're missing that do-gooder drive... I think It's because I'm in the driver seat... And I'm an awful driver... Perhaps... Perhaps I should let Patton take the wheel.")

(2nd sidenote to the Virgil quotes, can we talk ab Thomas' acting again I just love how tired Virgil is in AA. He's so. Troubled. I love him.)

WAIT ALSO I FORGOT TO ADD THIS UNTIL I WAS AB TO POST IT-

"I've always aimed to protect you,"

THIS!! First of all his face makes me so sad BUT SECOND OF ALL yeah. Roman core idk what else to say, you get it right.

"I thought I was your hero."

So yeah.

Anyway, I think the episode where Roman does this will be centered around depression. Without Roman, Thomas is depressed. Let me explain this further.

Roman is Thomas' creativity, imagination, ego, passion, love, wills and wants, hopes and dreams, aspirations and enthusiasm.

Without any of that, what is left? A guy who can't even will himself out of bed, but can still feel the nagging voice of reason and logic telling him how unreasonable he's being. A guy who cant will himself to talk to friends, family and loved ones, but can still feel sorrow for letting them down and worrying them. A guy who can't will himself to pursue creative content that he relies on for a living but can still feel anxious about letting millions of people down and never being able to create again. A guy who cant even make food for himself or brush his teeth, but still knows he NEEDS to take care of himself. A guy whose only creativity is activly trying to disturb and scare him.

So yeah thats really awesome idk.

Furthermore, I think the sides might be SEVERELY impacted.

It has been said many times over the series that the sides are purely figments of Thomas' IMAGINATION. so. Without Roman, I doubt anything would be left. Obviously, if Roman does duck out, I don’t think they'd all immediately just cease to exist because an episode still needs to occur, but I find it likely that they'd all start slowly fading or maybe even "malfunctioning", glitching, putting them on a timer to get back Roman and making it far more tense.

Is this theory weird?????? I feel like it's the natural progression TO ME but I've seen no one even getting near this and im just confused ghfhfhfh. Maybe it is kind of weird and im just too much of a Roman enthusiast. SORRY I LOVE ANNOYING WEIRDO FREAKS!!!! AND IF I WAS HIM ID DUCK OUT TOO BECAUSE NO ONE IS APPRECIATING HIM ☹️☹️☹️ EVEN THOUGH HE'S LITERALLY WHAT MAKES THOMAS DO THINGS. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Anyway.

I also think it fits really well because of Prinxiety's parallels, such as:

(using the ship name just as a duo name because that's what I usually do I am not trying to push the prinxiety agenda although I am a fan of it ghfyfgfh)

"Thanks everyone... Well, almost everyone."

And

"I mean, it's cool to see you all trying to be helpful. Well most if you, but-"

The only difference in these two is obviously that Virgil just silently ducks out, while Roman has the entire "You make us better" speech, probably effectivly saving Virgil and Thomas, because it seems like Virgil was going to insist.

(Also another sidenote that I think everyone will agree with: WE NEED A "YOU MAKE US BETTER" SPEECH BY VIRGIL FOR ROMAN that is all)

Also. Who can forget.

Virgil saying that he tried to "duck out" and then

"That's a thing you can do?"

😐

Do you understand what I'm saying. Do you. Huh.

Okay anyway.

Idk how to end this I feel like theres still more I wanna say but i forgot. In conclusion: prin up that xiety. Reminder that FWSA was real and not a fever dream. I lied this is actually prinxiety propaganda.

But Hey That's Just A Theory. A really quite depressing and sad theory. Thanks for tumbling down a hill with me 🫶

[vvh0adie]

watching my friends leave tumblr is really sad

you literally can't win

at this point the writer's strike should just be a cultural movement

like ppl are writing for FREE and you're complaining about turn out rate and shit

we have lives and some of us (HELL ALL OF US) have some form of mental illness, so we can't be fucking cogs all day and churn out fics.

writing is suppose to be therapeutic and writers want to share that with you to ease the tension of this hellscape we live in

but some of these readers and even fellow writers are taking it too far with the bullying

like its mean and nasty. you don't know what someone is going thru.

instead of asking for updates how about check and see if your writer is mentally stable to do so. that right there is a booster, to have someone say "are you okay?"

and then the whole accusations of favoring a certain member/character. if that person is my muse or safe space then of course imma write for them. most solo writers i see don't even talk bad about other people. its a SOLO account. think of it as a shrine blog of writing if that helps. they're not there to trash, just share their writing for other's who might also share the same muse.

then you have readers who can't separate fiction from reality. just because someone writes a character with irl people faceclaimed onto them doesnt mean they actually think that person would be or do those things irl. i'll be the first to say that i only gave my characters bts faces cuz thats who im attracted to and they're who i imagine would be casted to play my characters.

then IN THE YEAR OF 2023 we still have ppl making fun of their peers writing and also THE FACT THAT ENGLISH MIGHT NOT BE THEIR FIRST LANGUAGE? that's nasty asf. majority of us dont even speak 'proper' english as our first language no way. you only shooting yourself in the foot. don't act like you dont have beta readers... like what are yall on?

and anybody who gets on THAT BLOG behind anon is an opp. not just to the writing community but in how you interact with the world all together. yall don't know how to talk to people anymore? it may have started as a place for critique and accountability but no one is bringing receipts or critical thinking anymore. its mainly for drama and not rehabilitation. yall serious scare me in how we'd see the reality of social change applied to the real world. like i'd be more scared to let yall around the prisoners with minor offenses cuz yall act like its the end of the world and that change cant happen. yall give nobody room to change ignorant stances but ignore the real egregious shit because you honestly dont have the bandwidth to take on actual fascist views.

also the plagiarism has got to stop too. if you need writing resources just ask. but practice makes perfect. so you're gonna have to write yourself. you may not like your writers voice but you will feel shitty in the long run when you don't feel like its you putting those words on the paper. it literally just prolongs your inferiority. make something you're proud of and don't hurt your fellow writers. we went thru the process just like you. we earned it. and most of us aren't gatekeepers, we will help you.

like its really tuff being on here sometimes. cuz if you not being hounded by readers its your own community praying on your down fall.

we have to do better.

[dwntwn-strnlo]

can i get friends to lovers w chris 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏 maybe inspired by the song fearless if possible (i love your work btw 💗💗💗)

thank you so much! aint even gonna lie i forgot you requested a song until i was like halfway through the fic but ill 100% write a fic inspired by fearless! love you! 🩷🫶

HERE chris sturniolo

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎, dwntwn-strnlo.

↳ 𝐀/𝐍. not me crying 😝 but this is sooo me and crush #1 fr

↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. christopher sturniolo x reader

↳ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑��. request!

↳ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃? yes!

WE BACK BABYYYY

everyone had started catching on to it. the way you and chris always were together, always finding excuses to 'accidentally' touch each other, always in your own conversations, it would be hard not to notice.

you've just never acted on it out of pure fear that chris doesn't see you like that. and those few words of affection could ruin your relationship as quick as you said them.

so ultimately hiding your out of control feelings, you slowly grew quiet the longer the school year went on. you believed that your love would eventually disintegrate. but it unknowingly just hurt you more and more each passing day.

it just never crossed your mind that other people would notice how hurt you seemed, especially chris.

"hey- y/n?"

chris' voice scared you. you had been scrolling mindlessly on tiktok, completely spacing that you were in the triplets living room.

"hm?" you hum, turning to look at the boy.

the look of panic in his eyes was unsettling, "are you alright?" he asks, setting his phone face down on the table beside him. clearly adverting all of his attention to you, and only you.

you furrow your eyebrows, also turning your phone to the rough fabric of the couch. "what do you mean?"

he shrugs, diverting his eyes for a second. thinking of what words he wants out in the air. "i said your name three or four times before actually getting to you." you cant help but notice the linger of a frown against his eyes. he hid the emotion well on his lips, but probably didn't think about the rest of his manner; and how much it radiated unto you.

"you just seem really out of it and that worries me." chris looks back to you, his eyes desperately searching yours.

"oh," you mumble. not meaning to let your voice drop as much as it does. sitting just above a whisper. "sorry, i'm just a little lost these days." you laugh lightly, but frown when chris' contagious laugh doesn't intertwine with yours.

he looks down at his shoes, before sighing, actually letting his frown peak through this time. you watch hesitantly as he scoots over to sit next to you.

its hard to hold back your slight change in breathing when your hands are lifted up and twisted in to his. you have no idea what he's going to say or even do because neither of you are really good at communicating hard feelings to each other, let alone yourselves.

"yeah? talk to me." a comforting smile creeps up against his lips, trying to give you all the assurance he possibly could. cocking his head ever so slightly to the side, he mutters a sweet; "let me help you figure this out," as he rubs the back of your hand with his thumb.

you want to laugh right in his face. how could you talk to chris about chris?

"i'm fine," you say, smiling at the boy. but its obvious in the fact that he doesn't believe you. his thumb stops in its place, and his previous ghost of a smile disappears.

he furrows his brows, "i don't understand why you're lying to me."

that hurt. you don't want to lie to chris, but its your only alible option right now. saying your okay and pushing him away seems like a way easier path than letting yourself fall loose and telling your best friend how you were unconditionally, and irrevocably in love with him.

"i'm not-"

"stop." he sighs, quickly cutting you off. "just talk to me, kid. i don't get why you don't trust me."

a sad laugh escapes your lungs as you turn your head, looking away from chris. "i do trust you. its not that." it hurt lying to chris like this, if confessing was so simple, you would've done it already and you wouldn't be in this situation. but its not. its really really hard.

chris audibly sucks in a breath, squeezing your hands. "then what is it?" his voice is honestly heartbreaking. anxiety rippling through his gentle tone as he tries to figure out how to help you. "you know you can tell me anything."

"i'm always here for you." he mumbles.

little did you know those were the five words you needed the most. your reaction was slow but you couldn't help but notice the prickle in your eyes. dangerous waves of tears ready to fall and stain your cheeks.

dropping your head onto christopher's shoulder, you were ready to just sob. you wanted nothing more than to cry in his arms, let it all out. but you weren't ready to let your guard down.

his arms snake around your torso, pulling you close to his chest as his hands gently rub your back. "its alright. let it out." he whispered against your neck.

"chris. . . ?" your breath is shaky, but you know what you want to do. building up as much confidence as possible, you replay the same words in your head over and over until they spill out.

he hums, silently signaling for you to continue.

"would it be crazy to say i love you?"

chris stops running his hands up and down your spine. this action immediately puts warning signs in your head. you immediately resorted to the idea that he doesn't feel the same way. you put in all this effort and he doesn't think of you the way you thought of him for so many years.

surprised to feel his grip on you tighten, he shakes his head. "well call me crazy, because i love you too."

suddenly you let out a choked back sob. burrying your face into his shoulder. you shouldve stopped crying, your just confusing yourself as much as your probably confusing chris.

his lips press lightly against the side of your head. "i love you so much."

"i love you chris." you mumble, trying to hold back your tears.

"your okay. . . ." he whispers, "i'm right here."

a/n TWO; did anyone catch that twilight reference

TAGLIST

@slvt444smvt @thetriplets3 @p1harmonydelulu @stxrniqlo @ifilwtmfc @iha8you @oneirophobic @20nugs

[crazysodomite]

finally gonna answer that asks thingg. long post

3. your favorite piece(s)?

i really, truly fell off since making these 😭😭😭😭 im honestly not even confident i could create something of this quality ever again #felloff

these older portraits also just go to show how much i fell off. lol 😭😭

i like some of my newer art but its nothing to really write home about. my art has become more self-indulgent compared to squeezing the most 'skill' and 'detalization' out of each piece. i think in the end the process makes me happier (?) but i don't the same pride as looking at some of my older art. to be fair i also spend far less time on art compared to spending like 20 hours straight or days on a piece. frankly im not even sure i could replicate my old pipeline anymore and replicate my skill <- because i fell off!

i cope with the fact i fell off by saying 'im just exploring my own unique artistic vision' <- words from a guy who is simply not that good anymore

4. piece you wish got more love?

idkkk i dont really pay attention to numbers. i only really care/look at comments. i want more taur fans to follow me and talk me about taurs.

7. easiest thing for you to draw?

furries and creatures

8. thing you struggle to draw?

human faces.... this is sad because humans can be so diverse and interesting to draw but personally every time i draw a human it just looks incredibly ugly and bad (unless heavily stylized and simplified) and i just don't enjoy it as much as furries animals creatures monsters etc.

11. do you listen to anything while drawing?

yes... for my own detriment. especially when i dissociate i just turn on something in the background to 'help me focus' but idk if it actually helps me focus or just makes the dissociation more comfortable

13. talk about a wip you like!

i cant show you but it's a piece with lace and hornet (hollow knight)... i think i actually have a lot of wips with angels actually but i dont wanaaa show anybody

14. whats your favorite thing about drawing?

i dont know. gets scared. i enjoy feling proud and enjoying the final product. recently i also enjoy just drawing bodies and forms and volume. the process of 'god this looks like dogshit' going to 'i actually like this :)' or 'i love this and im proud of this' (if im lucky) is very enjoyable.

17. what is something youre confident about in your art?

i dont knowwwwwwww.... im gonna say im confident about something and someones gonna just tell me that im actually really bad at it. i think maybe volume and 'ambient occlusion' !?

21. what do you think your artstyle would taste like? I dont knowww.... from what people say it would be gummies or candies. but tbh that's just my more 'cutesy' art. i contain multitudes. some of my art probably tastes like dirt from the ground at a factory.

22. do you have a favorite color palette to work with?

i pretty much use these colors (for some reason i rarely use green or yellow. the circled colors are especially common. looking at my art it's a lot of purple, pink, blue, red, some oranges. idk why i gravitate to purple so much. i guess i just like red and blue a lot and ourple is a nice middle ground

(and this doesnt mean i dont like green or yellow my immediate reaction to drawing a creature is just making it these colors. for some reason)

24. whats a compliment about your art that has always stuck with you?

I always feel guilty that i dont like. save peoples comments to a folder so i can remember them better (maybe i should do this). i have a bad memory so i can hardly recall what people say word-for-word. I think I'm very humbled and happy when people say that my art has been meaningful to them in some way or helped them or even just made them happy or more willing to explore things about themselves. I also enjoy the 'i look like this and this made me happy' on my art ❤. that's definitely a part of why i enjoy drawing bodies so much. seeing a comment like 'this made me cry because i've never seen a body like mine represented before in a positive way' is really sad honestly and i wish the world wasn't so unfair and cruel man.

25. what size canvas/paper do you use?

i usually use a preset in photoshop for A4 or A3 paper. so about 2000-5000px range

30. whats something youre proud of about your artstyle?

i dont knowwwwwwwww... i think recently i like the way i paint bodies and i've been enjoying the orb heads as a stylistic choice even if some may think its ugly and boring. i also enjoy stylizing body hair. i also also want to adopt a more elaborate brushwork style but idont really know how to do thatttt

34. whats something you still like from your old art?

im just gonna talk about my olllld baby art. i love how innocent and cute and sweet it is. like you can really see my soul was not corrupted by evil yet. sighs

[just-some-random-blogger]

Hiii 💜 could I request a Daemon x Reader fic? They are in an arranged marriage and it's their wedding night. Reader is quite shy and reserved (she's the total opposite of Daemon) and she is very nervous about having to spend time with him because she knows about his reputation all too well (and also what happened to his first wife, Lady Rhea Royce). So when they're all alone in their chambers she tries to delay the inevitable but he sees right through her. So they start to argue and in the midst of their discussion she tells him she's scared of him. He just chuckles and tells her that he was the one that asked her father for her hand with the approval of his brother, king Viserys. And maybe then some smut? Thank you so much, love!

Mourn Me

Daemon Targaryen x Reader

Summary: You were the daughter and only child of a wealthy Lord and Lady that had met misfortune during their travels. Falling under the ward of your aunt, she was so graciously set on allowing you to marry for love. However, you did not want that, you wanted Daemon Targaryen.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: fem!reader, smut (dub con, virgin!reader, first time awkwardness, fingering, vaginal penetration, oral [f receiving], praise kink, degradation kink, corruption kink, hair pulling), mentions of death, devious!daemon but you already knew that, fluff maybe, typos, etc.

A/N: folks MDNI im experiencing a crash and burn meaning i cant write anyfin⚰️ so i offer youz dis cos i will just be🧍 lurkin for a while. Anyway idk i had a hard time tryna convince myself that daemon would want an arranged marriage after rhea tbfh so i HAD to convince myself which means i took some liberties SO yeah. also i combined this with another req i have that's pretty similar hope yall like it. Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @deniixlovezelda @targaryenmoony @risefallrise @slavyanskiyahui

I recall the day my father's brother died. It was a dreary, solemn day, and I had a vapid look upon my face. I felt for my uncle; indeed, it was quite sad that he passed, but I was not terribly close to him.

My father, I knew, was. This was why when he turned from me from over his shoulder, making it a point not to be inconspicuous, and made exaggerated cries in an attempt to make me laugh, that day truly felt sad to me.

My father cared more about how I felt than how he felt. The thought squeezed my heart.

And as I knelt upon the floor, before casket of my father and my mother, tears streaking my eyes, I realized no one in this world would ever do that for me again.

No one would ever swallow their sorrows in lieu of alleviating mine. Not my friends, not my cousins, not my servants, and especially not one of the men presented to me truly cared for my tears, not that way. I knew the acerb truth. They all wanted me for I was the door to my parents wealth.

I was by myself, on my own, and terribly lonely.

And it was not that the Lord of Fleabottom offered anything inverse to it, but I appreciated the fact his mere presence made the thick sea of avaricious men part.

Daemon Targaryen unabashedly eyes me as he hands a random man his cup and walks over. The moment he did, the lords surrounding me dissipated into thin air.

"I thought you would be better looking up close," he speaks once he is beside me.

I turn to him, eyes widening, "I beg your pardon."

"Well," he looks around, "you have all the lords in a riot," he leans towards me and inhales deeply.

I recoil in mortification when he does.

He pulls back with a smirk, "yet you smell like the rest of the ladies, and appear no fairer than them."

My lips part and my wide eyes blink slowly at his words. The prince does nothing. He does not even seem amused by my reaction, instead, he merely assesses me.

What am I? Cattle?

My face contorts and yet I do not get to chew at him, for he asks me abruptly, "what's gotten them so restless?"

I scoff and heave heavily. A loud fit of giggles from the women across the room snap me out of my angry state. Both Daemon and I turn, finding the women were glancing our way, clearly talking about us. I eye the long haired, uncouth ruffian, deciding it would be better if I simply walked away, rather than unleashing the fury that had been building up in me the whole day.

Daemon watches as I walk off. He raises a brow and purses his lip. He raises his voice, "you're a rude one, aren't you?"

I feel my eye twitch, and out of my dropped jaw comes a sound of annoyance. I clench my jaw tightly and strangle my skirts in my hands. I do not give him the satisfaction of turning back to him and head for the banquet to pour myself a cup of wine.

Regretfully, I am quickly hounded by lords left and right again before I can even finish my cup. It is deeply irritating, and though I mention to them I wanted a moment to drink on my own, none of them relent. All the attention draws back that of the prince's.

Once more, like clockwork, I watch as all the men flee the area upon catching sight of the roguish Targaryen making his way over.

This time, I note his deterring presence in the back of my head as I watch him march over to me. Daemon comes up to my side of the banquet. He is facing the opposite direction I am and pours himself a drink, "how do you find the wine, lady?"

I look at him, gobsmacked by his question. I scan the room, finding that the lords and ladies that were so readily coming at me moments ago, since the moment I arrived, were now finding it hard to even keep my gaze. I blink and turn to the man to my side, finding he was already looking back at me.

Daemon takes a sip of his drink.

"It's quite dry, and I think it's been sweetened with honey."

He chuckles as he draws his cup from his lips, "an astute observation," he turns around and looks out to the crowds, making everyone that was looking flinch and look away, "I heard the fool hosting this gaggle cannot stand the taste of sour wine and had all them sweetened-- stupid fuck."

I knit my brows at that and watch him take another sip, "yet you still drink."

Daemon tilts his head and licks his moistened lips, "better than nothing."

For a moment, we do nothing but stand next to each other and scan the room. During this time, I catch sight of my aunt, looking back at me with a wary and concerned expression. She motions with her head, wordlessly telling me to have my leave and go back to entertaining the lords.

I clench my jaw and sigh.

She meant well. If I there was anyone I could trust anyone, it was her, but she was too eager and persistent in marrying me off, in having it done. Yes, she was doing this for my sake. Yes, she was giving me the choice to marry who I please. But I'm exhausted. I'm worn like chalk on a wall. And, in fact, this was the most peace I've had in weeks. Just me, my thoughts-

I turn to my side and watch the man wince at the drink he still pointedly continues to subject himself to.

-and Daemon Targaryen.

I find myself in an interesting situation it seems.

I give my aunt one last look. Her wide eyes were practically screaming at me, though her lips were tightly pressed together. I look back to the prince. He looks back at me with an idle expression.

"Are you here to insult me further, my prince?"

Daemon knits his brows slightly, "insult you, have I? I merely speak plainly."

I do little to mask how my face contorts.

He lifts his cup to sip some more wine, but then changes his mind. He raises a finger from the hand which held it, "if I actually wanted to insult you, you'd be left in a fit of tears."

I release a small breath, "then consider me honored to have not been insulted by you, your grace."

"You don't sound too much it," Daemon sets his cup down, "methinks you should try again."

When Daemon's lilac eyes lock with mine, I hold his stare and ignore his words. I mutter, "if you are still curious as to why a gander of men are flocking toward me, then--"

"Oh no, Lord Barnaby over there already enlightened me of how handsome your inheritance is," he points then tents his hands in front of him, "in truth, I came here to spectate your championship, but the lecherous fucks have evaded my presence," he purses his lips in false thought, "odd, dont you think?"

I cannot help the faint, airy chuckle that leaves my mouth. I shake my head, "clearly, they are all intimidated by your presence."

"Yet," he looks off, "here you are, tall beside me."

I silently look at him for a moment, taking in the slope of his nose, and the cut of his cheek and jaw. I only turn away when he tilts his head and speaks, "do you know her?"

I turn to where he was looking and find my aunt staring back. She gives me another look and I immediately turn away, "she is my aunt."

He hums, "she too can keep my gaze," he turns to me, "color me impressed by the women of your house."

"She no longer belongs to my house."

He hums again, "and soon you no longer will belong to yours."

It was clear at this point, the prince now lost his interest in me and was about to walk away.

I don't let him.

"The lords have fled because they're intimated by the competition."

Daemon, about to walk off, stops himself before he even does. He looks at me and chuckles. He then eyes my body, "I am not interested in the game."

"I doubt they are interested in the game, your grace," I cross my arms, "they are only interested in my gold coffers."

I catch how his eyes land on my bosoms before landing back to my face. Daemon presses his lips into a line and shrugs, "then I'll leave you to finding the most interesting idiot you'd like to give offer your coffers and cunt to."

And though I cringe at his words and he manages a few steps away, I stop him yet again, "you, my prince."

Daemon stills. He takes a moment before turning back to me.

Once we catch each other's eyes, I speak out for good measure and relax my arms to my sides, "I... would interest you."

He looks at me with a darkened gaze. I could not exactly say what expression it was, but it made my stomach roll. He slowly steps forward, "so you enjoy insults?"

He steps again. "You did not insult me, my prince."

Another step, "didn't I?"

I, myself, step back when he presses closer than where he was a while ago, "n-no."

He hums, taking another step.

"Truly," my back hits the banquet table as Daemon invades my space. I shudder at his scent, warm like furnace fire and sweet like oranges, "rough as you are, you do only speak plainly."

Daemon only stops once there was but a step between us. His head is downturned and his eyes are upturned, "zūgagon hontes," scared bird.

I release a breath and manage the gall to push him away. He looks at my hand when it presses against his chest. He chuckles as he steps back, "you want to interest me, yet insult me yourself by calling me rough."

"I-"

He grabs my hand before I pull it away and drags me forward, "what would a little girl like you know of rough?" My heart is trapped in my throat when his calloused fingers begin to rub against my palms as he speaks, "aōha rāpa ondos emagon dōrī gaomagon rhinka mirre." Your soft hands have never done rough work.

I yank my hand away from him and he thoughtlessly releases me. He tilts his head, "what about me has gotten you interested?"

I rub my hands together and breathe deeply, "... your teeth."

"My teeth?"

I huff through my nose, "not a single person has come to interrupt us. Not even as you've pressed close and grabbed me."

Daemon raises his brows.

"I have been tirelessly pestered left and right with marriage proposals, only now have I known repose," I gulp, straightening up. "If I were to wed you, then my peace would be guaranteed."

He scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"I would only be pestered by you and your concerns, but never would I have to frolic with ladies I do not care for, not engage in pleasantries with lords that make my skin crawl."

He narrows his eyes and presses close to me again. I let him this time.

He does not hesitate and grabs me by the waist, pulling me flush against his chest untill my senses are bombarded by nothing but him. My heart is thundering in my chest.

"You take me a fool to believe that's all you could want from me?"

I let out a shaky breath, "like you, I only speak plainly."

He makes a sound. He lifts his hand and drags his knuckles down my face. My skin pricks with gooseflesh. I cannot help that my hands come up to his chest and push him back again. This time, he does not relent or release.

I begin to panic, "I am the last of my house, its undisputable inheritor. There are no male heirs, no alliances, none other than that which would be borne out of my marriage. I-I would belong to you, wholly. And I-" I squeak when he pushes me into the table, "I would--"

Daemon mutters, "you would never know peace as my bride, foolish girl. There would be not a moment were hankering pricks ceased picking at your being, at your every move. You would bare the weight of the kingdom's qualms on your shoulders," he releases me, "and from that you would never know respite."

I heave as he steps away, eyeing me hotly, still. I swallow a thick knot in my throat, "b-but you would stand in its way."

Daemon's face contorts.

"And from what I know of you, prince Daemon, that is assured. I cannot say that for any other lord I've met."

When he walked away from me that moment, I felt an immense crash of shame and regret wash over me. Truly, I was a fool for thinking one such as the Rogue Prince could ever be persuaded only by words.

And yet an even more immense crash washed up when Daemon Targaryen came to formally ask for my hand. Even now, as he's whisked me off in what I will forever know as our shared chambers in the Red Keep, I was unsure what exactly this emotion was inside me.

Hard as I tried, I could not help my bodily reactions to his touch. I could not mask my shivering or flinching as Daemon undid the ties of my dress from behind.

I could not help the way I shriveled up when he leaned into my shoulder and whispered hotly there something I did not understand.

As my skin pricks, he pushes me toward our bed and I obediently lie on my chest as he brings me down. I feel my heart pounding against the mattress as he rids of my shoes and rakes his fingers up my legs from beneath my skirt. I muffle my whimper.

"I asked if you regret your decision, timid thing."

I shake my head and pipe up, "no."

I feel Daemon's hand on the back of my thigh, hiking up my bum. He mutters, "are you quite certain?"

I let out an almost pained sound, "perhaps we can... do this a-another time."

He throws my skirt over and digs his fingers into my smallclothes, "and why would we do that? That's a terrible idea."

I press my legs as tightly together as I could when he begins to pull my garments down. At some point I begin to wrangle my legs against him. I offer, "we- we have not spoken much!"

He grabs my legs and yanks me toward him to prove a point, "I assure you, you need not speak at all. In fact, I doubt you'll be able to."

I feel my face burn.

Soon enough, he works on my dress again, and the next thing I know, I am lying rigidly on my back in nothing by my shift.

He chuckles softly with the sound of ruffling clothing, "will you not even offer me your assistance, poppet?"

I suck in a breath for courage and turn to him. He was already undoing his breeches, and his chest was already bare. I look to the ceiling, "you're able bodied enough, husband."

Daemon laughs.

I close my eyes when I feel the bed dip. My heart hammers all over again.

"Open your legs."

I clench my jaw and gulp heavily. I drag my feet up and part my legs below my knees, thighs very much clamped shut. He laughs again as I feel his hand bunch my remaining clothes up to my hips. Daemon says, "you'll find I quite enjoy toughing it out."

When his hands press on my knees, I decide not to fight him when he pushes them apart. I feel him maneuver in between my limbs, "good girl."

He wraps my legs around him and comes upon me, sinking down to my neck to plant kisses there. Instinctively, my arms warp around him and my fingers dig into his frim flesh. I whimper manically when he ruts into me.

I did not anticipate that his kisses would trail down my body. By the time he reached my navel and his hands were practically prying my thighs apart, I grab at his hair and tug him up, "what are you doing?!"

My stomach rolls when he looks up at me and states, "you wouldn't survive if I roughed it out before I did this."

I don't get to reply as my words are pulverized into a yelp when I feel his fingers come to my pulsing core, "D-Daemon, what-"

"Shhh," he continues his descent as his fingers work into me, "your body knows what I am doing."

Daemon amuses himself with the sounds he gets from moving his fingers in and out of the wetness before him. "A crying virgin, you are," he notes. He laps at my weeping center. I whine at his burning hot breath when he speaks, "so dripping wet for nothing," he smirks, "so wet for me."

His motions feel deliberately as though he was stretching me out. And for every move he made, my voice and thighs react. He keeps me open with the weight of his arms pressing down on me. The sensation of his mouth and fingers leave me a shaking, whimpering mess.

I grip on his hair for dear life, and yet it does not even occur to me that I could be hurting him. I don't think I care, to be honest.

The only thing I get out of Daemon are a couple of grunts and many hot huffs.

The sound of me being worked on by him is absolutely obscene. And soon enough, my cries exceed that level of obscenity when I crumble into a rubble of throaty breaths and shivering pleasure. The feeling was nothing like I've ever felt before and it was mind breaking.

I tense tightly as croak at the delicious feeling coursing through me. My nails dig into his scalp. My thighs begin to shake.

Once I am out of breath and reeling, Daemon lifts his head and nips at my flesh, making my toes curl, "such an easy prize, aren't you? Barely took a second."

I dare to pry my screwed eyes open as my husband crawls over me and brings my shift up along with him. Helplessly, and rather deliriously, I lift up my hands and let him finally strip me naked. He throws my clothes off to the side and looms over my face, "how was that?"

I look up at him and, even with the haze in my mind, find embarrassment in how... how sloppy his face looked, gleaming under the dim lit room. I find myself unable to move.

He smirks and, sequentially, chuckles, "I told you so," he grabs my thighs, "not even a sound from my doe. Finger fucked silly."

A great many sounds do leave me when I feel a hard intrusion push into my tender folds. My breath catches in my throat and, by my ear, he whispers a string of curses. Daemon begins to slowly rock his hips, easing slowly but deeply into me.

"Daemon," I whine, arms clutching him tightly against me. He pushes my legs to my sides, folding me into such a vulnerable position. It gives him complete access to me d as he moves, he knocks into a nerve that makes my eyes roll back. The sounds that leave me become louder and deeper.

"Mmm, fuck, such a hot, little cunt," he hisses, "so soft," he harshly kneads my flesh, "my tight fuck pillow," he grunts, "hope you don't regret it."

Daemon's mouth finds mine, and the tangy taste all over his tongue and lips make my stomach coil in indescribable ways. My nails helplessly dig into the taunt base of his working spine. He groans into our kiss and moves faster.

I pull away from him, in desperate need for air and feel myself grow wetter and wetter all over, especially between my thighs.

"Tell me. Do you regret this? Would you have rather were talked like you wanted? Shall I pull out and stop fucking my stupid little wife?"

Daemon's hand finds my cheek and his thumb smears the slickness on my parted lips.

Much to both his enjoyment and annoyance, he receives no reply from me, and the only sound that ripples into the room is that of slapping skin and gutteral moans.

He drags the skin on my cheek back with his palm, "gonna need an answer, pretty girl, or else I'll fucking stop."

Hearing that and feeling him slow makes me sentient. I tighten my arms around him and rapidly shake my head as I desperately respond, "no. I don't- don't regret it. Pleasedonstop."

Daemon's ego is stroked and his thrusts pick up the pace.

The rapid shift of him barely being there to being filled to the hilt makes the corner of my eyes prick with water.

I call out his name and he dutifully hums, "mmm, shall I stop?"

"No! Please-"

"And why shouldn't I?" he growls, as if in anger, as if threatening to stop, though, in truth, his motions do not slow at all.

I cannot for the life of me think of a reason, nor can I even think, to be honest. Instead, I latch onto his shoulder, biting, kissing, and muffling my noises.

Daemon leans into me and answers himself, "s'it because I should take care of my things, hmm?" He pants, "you belong to me, don't you?"

"Yes, Dae- yes, yes, ye-"

He drags out a hum, "oh, I'd be so sorry to break my pretty thing, wouldn't I? So sorry to break you," he chuckles lowly, "shall I take care of you, sweetheart?"

I squeak, "mmm, please. Pleassse"

"Such good manners," he sighs, "so well-bred. So willing to be bred."

The second wave of pleasure that comes upon me is far more intense and far more tiring than the first. I practically stop breathing as I convulse around him. I squeeze him so tightly with both my arms, my legs, and my cunt that I possibly empty the air out of his lungs as well.

I call out his name as I shatter beneath him.

Eventually, his persistent movements relent as he, too, quakes, and sequentially lays heavily above me, catching his breath just like I was.

As my pulse thuds, and as I feel his thudding, both against my chest and in my womb, I begin to stroke his back gently, relishing in the feel of him, his hotness, his scent. I think about what he asked, if I regret this. I release a deep breath. Certainly, in this moment, there was not a lick of regret or doubt in me with him.

My eyelids are as heavy as my breathing. If this would be what's it's like to be his wife, to love him, then there would never be an inch of regret in me.

I vaguely feel Daemon kiss my jaw before rolling off.

[dreamyrat]

now that i’ve written about sappy functional middle aged labru i’m thinking about more realistic and sad scenarios…

kabru who gets married young and has children because HEAR ME OUT he believes it makes him more trustworthy than being a bachelor… not quite aware of why he feels the need to appear as normal as possible around others and encouraging laios to do the same… continuing to be unaware of his feelings for laios, writing it off as purely sexual and therefore easy to deny and ignore, despite the fact that he’s closer to laios than anyone.

laios never marrying because the idea of disrupting the status quo is uncomfortable, since he just got used to being king and kabru’s family. also fundamentally disagreeing with kabru’s opinion on needing to get married just for the sake of others, by extension never having to confront his attraction to kabru, even being afraid to get near it mentally. thinking that his jealousy and insecurity stems purely from the threat of losing his closest friend and confidant, DEFINITELY no other reason.

I think kabru would marry a working class woman rather than nobility because they can relate to each other better, the idea they both have to serve people in some capacity, and all the turmoil and triumph that comes with that. I imagine kabru performing the role of doting father and husband very well. his wife loves how attentive he is and how he notices things about her no one else ever has. he’s patient but stern with the kids and earnestly connects with them. until he ultimately burns out and his wife realizes he can’t be honest with her, despite years of trying to get him to open up. up until that point his romantic relationships had all been fun and non committal, and she took pride in the fact she made him want to settle. she never could fully explain what was off about their relationship, because he really was very kind and loving, until she realizes how deeply kabru has repressed his emotions and cant help but question everything and feel she fundamentally misunderstood kabru as a person…

maybe a near death experience with laios triggers it, and kabru’s unable to take care of himself completely, he can’t mask his fear and neurosis and rage anymore, he can’t eat or sleep until he’s okay. he throws himself into his work and refuses to acknowledge that he is struggling when she asks him about it. her realizing that despite kabru’s best efforts to love her and care for her, his relationship with laios is more emotionally intimate than theirs, will always be what drives him and centers him, and she shouldn’t have to compete with that… she obviously mourns what she thought their marriage was, and can’t help but feel betrayed, but overtime starts to feel a deep empathy for him.

I guess I want to explore how kabru’s social dexterity has the potential to be just as destructive as laios’ social ignorance… even though they both have the best intentions and care about others.

when his wife divorces him, he is forced to be honest with laios about why she left, and he has immense guilt over not being able to love her correctly, about being fundamentally flawed and strange, the child that was raised to be a perfect doll, the monster kid no one wanted to play with, how his efforts to compensate for his innate wrongness blew up in his face anyway, which obviously laios can relate to better than anyone.

I think they would dance around each other after that, both now fully aware of the attraction but being so practiced in the art of denial they dont know what to do. It just feels so good to have it out in the open, they forgot that they can actually do something about it. Also kabru feeling like he shouldn’t be allowed to indulge after causing so much pain.

when they finally do get together, it’s surprisingly shy and chaste at first, like they are scared to face the depth of their desire and the years they wasted. it’s slow until it’s not, and everything bubbles to the surface, and they have mind blowing autistic sex. lol.

as for his children i think laios always really liked them as their weird uncle and since he has no heirs, he’d leave his kingdom to them. I’m not sure if kabru’s ex wife would be able to have a relationship with kabru after they get together, but maybe… maybe they could be friends.

[mxdarling]

["to jealousy, to being yours"]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: five (5) times you thought nobara liked maki, and the one (1) time she proved you wrong.

ೃ⁀➷: word count: 5k (5,010)

ೃ⁀➷: reference/inspiration: pov: you're falling in love with someone you cant have

[author's note:] hii so um HAPPY (VERY BELATED) BIRTHDAY BESTIE<33 @wenmiyun lots of hugs and kisses mwah mwah /p PLSS I'M SO SORRY I HAVE TO GIFT YOU MY SHITTY WRITING AND ESPECIALLY THIS LATE, here's my attempt of writing for nobara, i never written for jjk before so spare me the harsh criticism on their personalities </3

[warnings:] lowercase, occ nobara + other jjk characs, angst, fluff, jealousy behavior (from reader), reader really is jealous of maki, cringe humour, reader writes in (not) a diary, cursing, kiss scene, nobara is taller than reader, they/them pronouns, reader wants to be beaten up by nobara (once).

[If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me.]

[GN reader]

ⅰ. (when she found maki pretty).

["dear diary, how does one cope with the intense feeling of knowing your feelings aren't reciprocated and you want to crawl in a hole and die? because I really want to crawl in a hole and die?"]

["dear diary, I don't even have a diary; I'm just writing on a piece of paper and calling it a diary to look like I actually write stuff down when really I don't."]

["dear diary, I'm feeling like a piece of shit and really overthinking this, but i think i'm 100% going to get rejected and I'm 100% going to look like an absolute fool in front of her, and I'm going to ruin our friendship in the process while I watch her get together with maki :')"]

["dear diary, imagine not being able to afford a therapist and having to resort to taking to some—"]

the sound of pencil lead being snapped, it falls to the wooden floor and magically disappears within the color of the floor. "…fucck.." you whisper curses, knowing you have to go find a sharpener, sharpen your pencil, and go back to writing in your diary (a piece of paper). what's even better is that you don't even know where the hell you're going to find a sharpener anywhere in these grounds, plus the fact that it literally took you almost 30 minutes just to find a goddamn pencil to write with—sometimes you just really question your luck in life.

you lean back on the chair, putting down the pencil on the desk beside the piece of paper. the silence in the classroom wasn't helping the debate happening inside your head—whether it was worth it to try and find a sharpener or suffer by yourself by letting this extreme surge of sadness from inside of you till you cry to the point of exhaustion. you decided you weren't going to deal with another emotional toll today.

after 15 minutes of attempting to find a sharpener, you gave up, opting to just walk around outside to hopefully soothe your troubled mind. while walking, you happened to see yuji and nobara talking to each other. walking up to them, you were to say hello to them (especially to see her) before stopping your footsteps from going forward. 

"do you find maki-san pretty?" head tilted, a child-like confusion is shown on yuji's face, facing towards the person in question, nobara.

intuitively, you hid behind a pillar to not be spotted by them. your ears are now caught in interest; you wanted—no, needed—to know her answer. your heart rate is picking up its pace, beating, and pounding so loudly in your chest that it almost feels like you're about to jump and escape into her arms. your smile couldn't be contained as it slowly grew and grew until it reached your ears, making you look like a fool in love (you very much are).

"hah? where did that question come from?" crossing her arms at her chest, taking a defensive stance to the question being thrown at her, she raises a brow at yuji's question. "just curious; you kind of look at maki differently, i guess?" with a convincingly straight face, yuji remains unbothered by the defensive stance nobara takes in response to his question, "so do you find-" 

"of course I'd find maki-san pretty," she answered, very quick and brief, cutting yuji off before he could even finish his attempt at repeating the question, almost like she's certain—confident even in her answer, which she just told to yuji.

that answer alone was enough to make your wide smile turn into a frown in a matter of seconds. you felt like crying; you could feel your eyes tearing up. staying here and watching the two of them talk was only going to worsen your mood, so you walked away on slightly shaking legs. wiping the tears that have now appeared, you've lost the determination to find that goddamn sharpener.

"but what abou-"

"but.." nobara cuts off yuji again, though he doesn't seem to be bothered by it, sending blank stares as he waits for her to continue on. nobara finishes, in a hushed and quiet tone, "(name) is definitely the prettiest."

ⅱ. (when she had fighting sessions with maki)

you were on edge, high on anticipation, feeling the sweat in your palms build up as you sit at the end of your seat, watching from the sidelines as nobara and maki practice fighting each other to pass the time. you silently cheered on for nobara with absolute bias; despite the winner of this fighting match being as clear as day (it's maki), you still cheered on for nobara, for her. 

the way she moved and dodged every attack maki made towards her, the way she gripped very tightly onto her weapon in hand, every swift and duck she did, every twist and turn her body did—she somehow made all of them so goddamn alluring. your eyes were stuck to her like glue, watching her every move just like maki except not out of caution and with the intent to defeat her but because of how breathless you were from watching from afar. her scrunched-up face when she struggles, those displays of frustration and smug grins when she's trying to disguise her pain—all these things about her are what made you drawn to her. even when everything else around you is hectic and chaotic, your eyes will search and search till they land on her. somehow, in some way, your eyes always manage to find her.

maki-san was lucky, you thought as your eyes continued to be stuck on nobara, slowly blurring out the rest of the fight scene and just focusing on her and her alone. she gets a front-row view of nobara, gets to hang out with her, and has the honor of being someone she admires and someone she respects. maki-san doesn't know how lucky she is, you thought again, this time feeling more envy—perhaps even showing it on your face with how much it boils inside of you. controlling your facial expressions when you finally snapped out of that jealousy haze you were momentarily in, remembering how you got caught making a face around maki as she got you to snap out by asking you directly if there was something on her face. you didn't want to be caught again by her suspicious gaze. who knows what she'll do when she gets so pissed that she starts beating you up?

if you were being honest, you'd much rather prefer nobara beating you up; if the roles of the fight were reversed and you were in the fight instead of maki-san, you would be in paradise. multiple times already have you been utterly bested in a fight against nobara and every single time she would have that victory smirk plastered on her face, it never failed to set you in a frenzy state.

"haah, i wasn't even close," nobara said in defeat as she sat on the grass, exhausted. taking heavy and deep breaths, the rise and fall of her chest prove the amount of air the fight took out of her.

"heh, you did better than last time; i'll say that," maki says as she extends her hand towards the tired nobara, offering to help her get back on her feet.

taking the help, she reached for maki's hand, and upon contact, maki pulled her back up. when the two locked eyes, there's a new-found twinkle in nobara's eyes, seeing as maki just complimented her. "wah!? really, maki-san!?" 

perhaps you were in a daze for far too long, for the fighting match had already ended with maki-san being the victor, of course. you stared at them from a distance as they continued to converse with one another. you could feel your face contort into an expression—you're not sure what kind of expression you were making exactly. though you couldn't hear their conversation, you could see their expressions and faces change as the talk between them went on. they looked like they're having a lot of fun, you thought, especially her; the thought persists to drill into your brain. feeling sick in your stomach, you stood up from your seat and walked off, not wanting to look at the scene of them happily talking any longer. maybe writing in that diary (piece of paper) will cheer you up.

"did you do better because they were watching?" maki raised an eyebrow at nobara, smirking slightly as she watched the ginger-haired girl get flustered by her question.

"h-how did you-"

"it's not rocket science; it's more clear than the curses i see without my glasses," maki commented bluntly while also cutting nobara mid-sentence. although what she said was true, it was a blow to nobara's pride as she was doing everything she didn't want to do: being obvious about how she feels towards you.

ⅲ. (when she smiled at maki and maki smiled at her back)

gojo satoru, your sensei, had a plan for all the first years and second years to go to the beach this sunday, saying how it's a good time to take a break and relax from our student responsibilities and enjoy our youth, or something along those lines and while most of them were reluctant to go (because it was gojo sensei's idea, you could never trust what he's planning about, plus he is a moron) somehow—and miraculously so, managed to convince everyone, including you, to join in on the trip.

contrary to your initial expectations about the trip, it's pretty fun (good job sensei!), for the first time in quite a while, you felt relaxed. something you haven't felt in what, weeks? months? in you convince yourself enough you might even believe it has been years since you've felt the tension leave your body. not only was the view of the beautiful sunset amazing but everything else around you too. the cool wind kissing your face as your hair flows in the air, the splashing of waves against the shore, the distant noise of birds chirping as they fly above you, the loud laughter of your upperclassmen and friends as they have fun chasing each other in the sand. this was pure bliss.

getting bored of the sunset view you turned your head to face your upperclassmen and friends doing their usual antics onto each other, gaining a small smile and a short-lived laugh out of you. as your eyes start to drift away from the sight of your friends, it naturally searches for nobara, for her. once it does finds her, there's a split second of your eyes widening in joy before returning back to your neutral face as you notice who she's with, maki, again. you turn your head away to try and be subtle but still keep an eye on them, from your peripheral vision you could see nobara sending maki a smile and maki sends her a small smile in return, they look happy together, you thought— sometimes you wish that was you instead, standing by her side, smiling and happily by her side. deep down you know that will never happen.

while you weren't looking, nobara took (not so) tiny and small glances at your direction, the view she had of your side profile was perfect, the effect of the sunset on you made a smile on her face, realizing how beautiful you were and all the little facial features you had she hasn't noticed yet. she would stare at you for hours and hours on end, for seeing your face was already a miracle for her.

ⅳ. (when she looks for matching bracelets with maki)

the bustling city outside the borders of tokyo jujutsu high wasn't the kind of environment you would choose to spend your free time in; you'd much prefer staying inside your dorm and sleeping or playing games on your phone, but you were invited by nobara herself (and being the desperate fool you are, you would take any chances and opportunities to spend some quality time with her). you're currently waiting in front of some cafe, sitting on one of their outside tables and chairs, for nobara and maki to arrive.

sure, you weren't too happy that maki would be accompanying you two (you deeply and desperately wished it was just you two hours prior; does the world really hate you that much?) but you weren't going to let that fact bother you. no, you weren't. maki-san is a great person, a great friend of nobara, and someone she admires. you just want to control your jealousy around her. mentally prepare talking to yourself as you await their arrival. you pray that you don't appear weird or crazy with how sometimes you accidentally slip out curses out of your mouth. you don't need to make a fool of yourself this early in the day.

minutes have passed, and you could see two familiar silhouettes appearing in your line of sight, walking towards the cafe you're waiting at. you start waving at them to show you were already here, and they wave back as their figures slowly get clearer and bigger in your line of sight. "wow.. you look great, (name)!" your eyes widen at nobara's positive comment on your outfit; it wasn't anything special, just the clothes you usually wear when you go out, except with a little more style. there's no way you're going to underdress when she's going to show up. "heh.. thanks! you look great too! and- maki-san as well!" you can feel your hands sweat a little, giving out a nervous smile. you compliment her back (you wanted to say more) while also not forgetting to mention maki as well. just so you don't seem rude and impolite.

maki hummed in acknowledgement of your comment. "you're not bad yourself, (name)," she says. you know maki isn't one to sugarcoat, so it was good to be affirmed that you didn't look bad.

"now, which store should we check out first?"

hours have passed, and the three of you have gone into at least three stores, which felt like a blast to you. never has walking around big malls and looking through hundreds of different kinds and sets of clothing been this fun and exciting. bags, and bags have filled the majority of your hands. you three walked together, chatting along while trying to look for more stores to shop at. finally settling on a small shop down the street that sells handmade bracelets.

"this one suits you, maki-san!" nobara exclaimed, giving the bracelet to maki for her to try on, and when maki put the bracelet on, her eyes beamed as she said something about finding more bracelets to buy for the three of you guys.

as you watched them pick out bracelets from the ones displayed, you stared at them from a distance. watching them closely, not even caring to be subtle about your staring as you feel a certain familiar feeling start boiling up inside you. even then, you continued to watch them, your hands no longer picking up bracelets to try on as they remained still by your side. they look so nice together. though, as you know, that was intended to be sarcasm, the enviousness' grew and grew by milliseconds, not just towards maki but to everything. why was it always maki-san with her? why is it that she gets to be with her the most? why couldn't maki-san be replaced by you? why couldn't that be you?

"how about you, (name)? did you find one you like?" nobara's voice pulls you out of your daze. she was now staring straight at you, causing you to crumble inside within seconds. the jealousy and envy feeling inside faded as she had you now in a more giddy state. you swallowed a lump down your throat to hopefully increase your chances of not sounding like a nervous wreck.

"uh- sorry, haven't found one yet.. plus i need to go.." you try to politely leave, seeing as you might just ruin the whole hangout if your jealousy gets in the way. better to just leave then to cause trouble for everyone else. "you're leaving already?" nobara raised an eyebrow at your mention of departure. not that she was surprised, as she knew your energy levels were different compared to hers; it was just that this was way too early for you to leave, usually whenever you guys hang out.

"yeah.. bye!"

"..see ya (name)!"

rushing to leave your footsteps fasten as you basically speed walk away from them, without saying a word, you left. not even looking back once.

"you think (name) will like this bracelet?" holding up a purple color scheme bead bracelet between her fingers, she inspects it—almost like she's imagining how it would look on your wrist. "or would they like this one better?" she said, holding up another bead bracelet in her other hand between her fingers; this time it was a blue color scheme. giving the bracelet the same look she gave it with the other one.

"i think they would like anything you give to them," maki replied, rather sure of her words. while she doesn't know the nature of how deep your relationship is with nobara, she can tell it was a close bond. "..you think so?" whispering, her orange gaze softens as she eyes the bracelets in two of her hands. maki observes the girl; the aura around her feels tender, like she got dragged into feeling such a sentimental scene. "you know, if you can't decide, you can just buy both." just then, a light bulb lit up inside nobara's head.

she did, in fact, buy both bracelets; of course, both bracelets had a pair.

ⅴ. (when she said she loved maki)

"i love you."

that was the last nail hammered on the coffin, and god, does it fucking hurt so much? it felt like your whole heart just died, got shot where it hurt the most, and bled and bled till nothing was left behind. your heart bled for nothing; it loved for nothing; you hoped and prayed for nothing. this was the upcoming downfall you warned yourself about over and over again, yet you still fell for it. you still fell for the false hopes you deluded yourself into having, making yourself think you had any slim chance of getting your feelings reciprocated. how stupid—how stupid of you to believe in anything.

the world around you blurs out: the sounds of people talking and chatting, the walking and running footsteps of hundreds and thousands of strangers, the chirping of birds, the engines of vehicles, and such driving on the road—it is all just one blurry background to you. one that your brain cannot process, one that your brain doesn't want to process, because every fiber and tissue in your being is wishing right now to be swallowed whole by a curse and crushed into countless pieces to the point of no recognition. you wish to be erased, removed, eradicated, disintegrated—anything that could make you disappear from this world—from her. just by hearing her name in your head makes you want to go fucking insane.

perhaps it was your fault for being so nosy and wanting to take a peek at the note that has been placed on nobara's desk. if only you weren't so desperate for any confirmation of her feelings, if only you stayed content with how things are with her, you wouldn't have to get hurt this badly. the letter that was on her desk was a love letter, and you could still remember how your heart picked up pace, giving you an anxious feeling in your gut after such a discovery. slowly and nervously opening up the folded letter, you instantly knew whose handwriting it was—it was nobara's. you read and read, then you put down the letter and walked away, trying to hold back your tears from falling out. you weren't even able to read the whole thing because you knew who it was for. it was for maki.

you hated how she talked about how pretty maki was—the prettiest even—how she loved those fighting sessions she had with her, how beautiful she looked as she watched the sunset go down, and how she bought matching bracelets thinking of her. every word written in the letter screamed maki, maki, maki, maki.. not you.

you locked yourself in your room, crashing forcefully onto the bed. you lay there motionless, almost like you're dead. well, perhaps you are dead; a part of you is gone, erased, eradicated. there's a certain numbness in your tongue yet an overwhelming sense of sadness in your head that you just can't get rid of.

["dear diary, I feel like shit; i look like shit; what's even the point? clearly,  she doesn't like me; why am I still pursuing?"]

["dear diary, i'm so mad at myself; i want to scream so badly, but it's like there's this rock somewhere in my mouth stopping me from letting it all out—shit, shit, i'm cryin' now."]

suddenly, a knock on your door reaches your ears, pulling you out of your head. the energy to walk up and open the door is non-existent, as you just want to lay down and not get up. you only do so when you hear a familiar voice outside of your room.

"(name)? can we talk?" her voice is a bit muffled due to being on the other side of the door, but you could still hear her as clearly as day. she sounded concerned, which in turn made you concerned too. what did she want to talk about? did you do something wrong? did you accidentally make her mad? panic settles in, and questions start flooding in your mind. you got up from your bed and walked towards the door, opening just slightly to take a peek outside, and there she was, standing outside your room.

"hey.." you tried putting effort into your greeting, but it just came out very tired. making it up for the tired greeting, you gave a small smile. you could see from the small opening of the door that she gave a small smile back to you. you opened the door wide for her, letting her into your room so that the conversation between you two would remain private.

"you saw the letter...?" she looked in disbelief as she said that, the kind of look you would give to someone who you didn't want to see what they just saw. was the love letter for maki supposed to be a secret? "..you mean the letter for maki-san? yeah, but i didn't take a peek," you lied, somehow saying that lie was much easier to breathe at the moment. god, just mentioning her name in your mouth was enough to have you breakdown, but you needed to be strong; you needed to put up a front long enough for you to be alone and die from heartbreak.

"for maki-san? the letter is not for maki-san.." confusion was evident on her face; seeing her reaction made you confused as well. was the letter really not for maki-san? you thought. were you wrong about the letter being for maki-san? you thought again.

"..the letter was for you, (name)!"

"..what? wait! you like me!?"

"yes!"

you two stared at each other in shock as confusion faded away while the confession settled slowly in your mind. she likes you, not maki-san; she likes you and not maki-san; surely this might be a dream—no way she actually likes you back. there's just no way it's possible.

"i like you (name)," sounding more sure of herself, the slight furrowed of her eyebrows, her lips being in a straight line, her eyes showing fear, nervousness, and anticipation all in one, the trembling of her hands—you could see her waiting patiently for your answer. this was enough to tell you that this was real; her confession was real and sincere.

"..i like you too."

ⅰ. (when her lips touched yours, in uttermost passion)

she was so pretty up close—way too pretty, in fact—that she left you stunned—so stunned that you don't even realize really just how close she actually was. you can feel her breath on your lips and your cheeks heating up. enchanted by her and her beauty, you can no longer restrain yourself anymore. slowly sneaking your arms around her neck, resting them on her shoulders, you gently push her closer to you, all the while trying to hide your eagerness. noticing your behavior changed, she grins—grabbing your waist in her hands to keep you from potentially moving away from her; she doesn't want to let you go (not that you would do such a thing; clearly from your actions, you don't want to let her go either). inch by inch, little by little, the space between you two disappears as seconds pass by. just as you're about to get the luxury of kissing her, she diverts her head to the side of your head; instead of kissing your lips, she kisses underneath your ear instead.

surprised by her bold action, you let out a squeak, that scarlet color of red spreading through your cheeks and ears, shutting your eyes due to the embarrassment you feel—you can feel the soft touch her kisses emit on your skin. tingling every nerve in your nervous system, causing your whole body to tremble tremendously, and not being able to do anything but let her continue pressing gentle kisses underneath your ear is a blissful moment for you, one you don't want to end.

alas, you felt the loss of her lips on your skin, the creeping feeling of disappointment shown on your facials when you frowned when she pulled away. she notices the change in your mood and is flashing a smug expression back at your frown. "aww... what's wrong? you have quite the long face.." she teased, letting out a little laugh as she spoke. moving one of her hands from your waist to your cheek, she gently caressed it with her thumb, moving it slowly in different patterns and shapes. even as she teases you, that glint of tenderness in her eyes gives your heart a fast-pumping rhythm, just like the many times before she's made your heartbeat hasten.

"..i want to kiss you!" you quietly yet boldly declare right to her face, eyebrows furrowed and eyes slightly squinted to show how much you want—no, you need for her lips to be on yours. after so much restraint and yearning, you deserve at least this much. plus, with how close her lips are to you, how could you not want to kiss her?

you could see her eyes slightly widen at your demand, surprised by your unexpected newfound confidence and boldness, cheeks go slightly red after really processing what you've just said, and she can feel the breath in her throat go away as soon as she tries to speak. "l-like, right now!?" hating the way she stutters, especially in front of someone as pretty as you, the tremble of her lips tells you enough of what she's really feeling right now. "yes, if that's okay with you," you reply, not wanting to force her into something she didn't want to do.

"no! it's..it's okay."

"are you sure?"

"yes, i'm sure (name).."

"are you really sure..?"

"yes, i'm totally sure."

"...okay" you say, not necessarily believing her but still taking her word for it. unwrapping your arms around her neck, you put your grip on her uniform, pulling her even closer to you than before, making her feel your nervous breath on her lips and hers on yours. "..are you ready?" showing your uncertainty in her consent to let you kiss her. you wanted to be ultimately sure that she wanted this too and that this wasn't one-sided by any means possible. "always" she smiled, rather softly and not the smug kind you were expecting. she always had such a dominating aura in your eyes; the way she presented herself wherever she was and the confidence she carries always made your legs buckle and your heart throb.

you went on your tippy toes, making yourself slightly taller than your original height to help you close the gap between your lips better. in your opinion, the lack of space between you two would have made you shiver in distress had it been anyone else that was in her position; she was not anyone else; no, she was the exception. the only way you would let this close to you personally (and literally), she was very, very special indeed.

she must have grown impatient because, as soon as you moved just an inch towards her face, she moved her lips onto yours. her eyes were closed when she went in for the kiss; you, however, were in a state of shock, like time had frozen still, leaving you somewhat paralyzed in the palms of her hands, temporarily helpless as you finally reap what you've sowed for such a very long time. the kiss was nothing grand; the best way you could describe the kiss shared between you two was a peck on the lips. it was very clear that neither of you two had any sort of experience with romance, let alone intimacy. this was probably the first kiss you two were going to have, and god, it felt really good.

"............"

"............"

"...wow, that was so hot."

"yeah? really?"

"yeah, really hot, like really, really hot."

"..do you want another one?"

"..hell yeah"

you kissed her one last time, just to make sure none of this wasn't a dream—it wasn't; not one bit was a dream. her lips are reality, her hands touching your cheeks are reality, her being yours is reality, and you being hers is reality. all of this is reality, and goddamn, it feels so fucking good.

["dear diary, FUCK YOU, I HAVE A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND NOW!!"]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

PLEASE DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO OTHER SITES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION + REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

[kazutora-kurokawa]

I just loved the Hakkai and black cat reader headcanons.

Could you write something like :

Imagine Mitsuya somehow finding out that Hakkai lost his v-card (he's so nervous about it that it probably slipped from his mouth mid convo). And Takashi is like "wtf? You did it first?!".

I think he would be either laughing or too shocked to say anything. 🌞

Beat Me To It: Mitsuya Finds Out Hakkai Lost His V-card

♡ SFW, suggestive, mentions of virginity, Hakkai talking about you a little too much, Mitsuya teasing Hakkai, designer!Mitsuya, model!Hakkai, Yuzuha is Hakkai's manager and pops in the room very briefly ♡

note: Just something short, this was a funny little idea anon, thanks for requesting 🩷

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Hakkai was rambling, per usual, to Mitsuya. Mainly about you and work. Mitsuya was sitting at his desk, working on the finishing touches of a new design he had whipped up.

"She's just so perfect Taka-chan, she's like if an angel fell from the heavens."

Mitsuya looked up at him in amusement.

"She's like a fallen angel? So she's the devil?"

"Wait that's not what I meant!"

The door to the room opened and in walked Yuzuha, his manager and sister, holding bundles of fabric.

"Who's a devil? Here's the fabric you asked for Mitsuya."

She sat her purse and the fabric on the couch and waited patiently for an answer to her question.

"Thanks and y/n apparently."

"I wasn't calling her the devil! She's an absolute saint, even in bed."

Yuzuha and Mitsuya looked at each other then back at him. Hakkai put a hand over his mouth as if it would take back what he just said. His mind was so late to process it.

"I meant-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there so I can leave the room. I don't wanna know what you and your girlfriend do. I'll see the both of you later, Kai don't be late to the photoshoot today!"

Yuzuha grabbed her purse off the couch and walked out the door, leaving Hakkai to fend for himself.

"Wow..I can't believe it! How did you lose your virginity before me? The fact that you even have a girlfriend is astounding to me...no offense of course, but you're kind of a nervous wreck man."

Hakkai looked at Mitsuya with an annoyed look on his face before chuckling.

"No need to rub it in, I know I'm a nervous wreck. It's different when I'm with her though."

"Please don't get all sappy on me, you're gonna make me sad that I'm still single."

"Not my fault you're a workaholic."

"I know I know, I can't help it though. I just have so many ideas racing around in my head, I gotta put them on a page man."

"Yeah I can understand that."

He checks his watch.

"Speaking of work, I got back to back photoshoots today."

He grabbed his jacket and headed to the door.

"Well you better get going and call me when you're done, that is, if you aren't too busy with y/n."

"Haha very funny Taka-chan. I'll see you later!"

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Taglist

@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katshimizuu @happy-trenchcoated-impala @kazubarbie @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies

[bichenique]

I AM HALFWAY BOOK 4 AND I LITERALLY PICKED IT UP THIS MORNING ft cql gifs

SVSSS SPOILERS‼️‼️

mxtx, count your fucking days bro. i can't recover from shen qingqiu and yue qingyuan's backstory AND then you put zhuzhi-lang and tianlang-jun. and then you talk about how tianlang-jun fell for su xiyan.

WHY IS TIANLANG-JUN SUCH AN UNCLE‼️‼️

tianlang jun: omg zhuzhi-lang, you also like shen qingqiu— you and binghe can share him!

zhuzhi-lang: girl i aint gonna steal my cousin's wife—

tianlang jun: girl, we're evil ppl. idk why you're out here doing morals on me

literally my face when i started reading the smut.

bing-mei meowmeow and his sad violin 🎻 bc he has to pull out. wtf is this erectile dysfunction man 😭😭 i busted out laughing so hard i had to put it down.

i will say tho i cannot get past the fact that shen qingqiu is luo binghe's master and he was a student — erm it doesn't sit right with me so i have to say guys that i don't ship it. will i fight you about it? absolutely NOT bc i have other things to do.

HOWEVER, i would like to say it was sweet when shen qingqiu promises to never leave binghe's side again.

liu qingge seems to have a crush on shen qingqiu tho 🤠 he was so mad when madam meiyun (? I forgor her name) was like, describing luo binghe but it also coincidentally matched up with liu qingge. he was like: NO HE DONT LOVE YOU! and stabbed her or something

liu qingge and this man —

same font. theyre the same. except liu qingge is more amicable??? (DOUBT, HE'D LITERALLY OBLITERATE YOU‼️‼️)

but they literally had the same reactions when crush related shit.

i cant fucking do this anymore. i should have been studying but i was studying something else 😭

i might drop su xiyan and tianlang jun BUT i have to write qi rong stuff.

i will say from a literary standpoint that reading svsss is refreshing as it is mxtx's debut novel to my knowledge. additionally, since i read all of her works to date, i can see the progression of how her works were censored right after her debut work. and honestly, that's depressing, and one can deduce that mxtx did become someone like shang qinghua/airplane shooting towards the sky.

as an artist, one has the right to express their creativity freely, and sqh and mxtx aren't getting the justice they should get.

i also like to think that sqh is just mxtx in a book, honestly.