#sadness for the 5 save slots i can only use...

[aria0fgold]

This game only has 5 save files??? This game is starving me... it's against me... me who needs at least 10 save files to use.

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 4

Imma just go ahead and call this ep 'The Library' because everybody was reading for filth. We focus in on the core 6 today and everybody's shit gets laid bare. Here's where the gworls land this week.

🔺1. Ray (2)

No one loves me. I’m all alone.

Ray regains the top slot this week because What A Frigging Mess. He's all over the goddamn place. He needs professional assistance of so many kinds that I don't even know where to begin. Ray is absolutely a danger to himself and others, but he's so charming and so practised at covering up that everybody ignores all the red flags he is planting with every interaction. Ray needs an intervention, not a boyfriend. This habit of falling for his 'saviours'...yeah. The love-bombing...yeah. Toxique-tragique.

🔺2. Top (6)

Don’t be too clever. Or you’d be able to read me inside out.

Well here's a surprise and no mistake. I continue not to believe fuckall coming out of Top's mouth, but he's roared back in the manipulation game between him and Mew. He's got the upper hand now. Also, kicking Boston to the curb, smart move not to shit where he eats, BUT HE'S STILL SHITTING. I don't believe ALL he did with Beam was coke. Also, only addicts say 'I'm not an addict', ASK RAY. But yeah, I am so much more tuned into Top's particular brand of fuckery now, and I am absolutely here for it.

🔹3. Nick (3)

- But don’t get serious with someone like Ton. He’s nasty. - I know. I am too.

Babygirl isn't roaring back quite yet but he's on the up-and-up. When he told Top he knows Boston's nasty but he's nasty too...OH YES LET'S GO. I have suspected that Nick and Boston might deserve each other, and I'm curious to see whether that's the right read. His moves this ep were weaksauce (a 'hello Barbara this is Shirley' moment, really?) but he's definitely escalating and I'm pretty sure he'll soon be on the rise again.

🔺4. Mew (7)

If you quit using drugs, I'll sleep with you.

Mew's lost this game for now. His costs are sunk and he ain't walking away EVEN WHEN TOP TELLS HIM HE'S A COKEHEAD. Mew's still trying to scrabble for control, limiting the scope of their sexual interactions to non-penetrative sex only, extracting (useless) promises about quitting the yeyo, and (false) confessions about who gave Top some tchotchke, but he's lost the game. He's capitulated. Top's lying to his face, and he's choosing to believe it, and giving inexpert hand jobs as 'rewards' for good behaviour. I'm pretty sure Mew was just looking for an excuse to give it up at this point. Mew may yet snap out of whatever hold it is Top has over him, but for now he seems to think he can lose a battle and still win the war.

🔻5. Sand (4)

Stop dragging me around when you feel lonely. Or throwing me away when you don’t need me.

This is so sad to watch because Sand KNOWS. Sand KNOWS that this is destined to end in tears and he's doing it anyway. He read Ray like a book and then simped for him like the manclown he is. I can see the 'I can fix him' memes now but I don't think that's what this is. He KNOWS he can't fix Ray, so he keeps trying to set boundaries but he's weak for those puppy dog eyes. He might be the only person who doesn't see Ray as a 'burden', but that's not gonna save him from getting his heart broken.

🔻6. Boston (1)

Why would someone like me be envious of Mew?

Oh how the mighty have fallen, from first place to last in a single week. Top read him for FILTH in that elevator and judging from the preview for next week it may just be causing some self-reflection. Can't keep a bad bitch down for long though, and Boston is the baddest of them all, so I'm willing to let him lick his wounds and reassess.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Vex, the Gloomiest build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Horace “Hozure” Hsu. Made for Riot Games.)

Writing this build in a dark room late at night, super tired and stuff... Stuck inside cause of this dumb virus... AFKing in TFT for a Prestige skin like a tryhard... It’s kinda aesthetic, ya know?

GOALS

Another person to kill... Shadow? Can you handle it? - You don’t need best friends: you’ve got your Shadow. He’s the only cool one, because he’s basically you.

Ugh. Can we get some rain clouds in here? - No one likes a debbie downer, but everyone loves a good scare!

Man, walking suuuucks - Nowadays even the anti-dash champion needs a resetting dash. “Do the thing, Shadow.”

RACE

I could make Vex a Harengon to justify her rabbit ears, but she doesn’t really do much “jumping.” That, and I didn’t buy Wild Beyond the Witchlight. So Halfling still works good enough for a yordle. Your Dexterity increases by 2, and while your movement speed goes down to 25 you have Halfling Nimbleness to move through people who are bigger than you. You’re also “Brave” for advantage against fears (when you hang around the Shadow Isles stuff really isn’t that scary) and of course have good ol’ yordle Lucky to reroll Nat 1s.

Halflings are normally pretty cheerful but Ghostwise Halflings are perfectly dark. You’d normally increase your Wisdom by 1 but I’d recommend increasing your Constitution instead. But I mean, it’s not a big deal if you take Wisdom instead. It is only +1. You also get Silent Speech to keep to team chat with 30 foot telepathy. I mean, they have to understand your languages but at least you don’t have to tell everyone what you’re talking about. And oh yeah you obviously speak Common and Halfling.

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - Turns out when you don’t release any new yordles for (wait it’s been 5 years since Kled was released? Holy shit) people end up wanting them.

14; DEXTERITY - Just because you don’t like walking doesn’t mean you’re slow.

13; CONSTITUTION - Imagine dying like a normie.

12; WISDOM - Vex isn’t sad because she’s pessimistic. She’s just realistic.

10; INTELLIGENCE - You’re too cool for school. (And I needed everything else more.)

8; STRENGTH - Ughhh I don’t wanna lift heavy stuff! I’m tired...

BACKGROUND

I guess you’re technically a Haunted One, even if the black mist is the best thing that ever happened to you. You get proficiency in Arcana and Survival as well as two language of your choice to talk to your "allies.” (I guess one of them has to be exotic or whatever.) (I’d personally pick Sylvan as the language of yordles and whatever language the majority of your party knows as your second choice, but that’s just me.)

The thing that sucks about having a Heart of Darkness is that everyone keeps trying to help you, thinking that your sadness (and the living shadow on your back) is something to be fixed. I mean, at least you can get the NPC normies to help you, as long as you don’t spook ‘em. “No doctors! I told you: being sad makes me happy.”

(Artwork by @ToggleD0wnFall on Twitter.)

THE BUILD

or whatever...

LEVEL 1 - SORCERER 1

Starting as a Sorcerer for saving throws and stuff. Also proficiency in Intimidation and... Persuasion, I guess? Look, persuading people that you’re fine “no really” is a skill too.

I wonder what Sorcerous Origin we’ll pick... If only there was one based entirely on shadows and darkness... Oh hey Shadow Magic. As a Shadow Sorcerer you get Eyes of the Dark for 120 feet of Darkvision to see with your dumb Halfling eyes, and Strength of the Grave which will let Shadow take a hit for you. (As long as you make a good Charisma save.)

But of course the main appeal of a Sorcerer is the Spellcasting. You can learn 4 cantrips from the Sorcerer list and two level spells: For cantrips Mage Hand will let Shadow pick things up for you, Mind Sliver and Sword Burst will keep loud people off you both up close and from afar, and Prestidigitation will let you do all sorts of normie yordle magic. As for leveled spells Shield and Mage Armor are both kinda mandatory for some Personal Space.

LEVEL 2 - WARLOCK 1

What? Did you really think we wouldn’t get at least some support from adults? Work for that cool gloomy dude Viego and make a pack with The Undead. That’s because Undead are super dark and morbid and have a Form of Dread: as a bonus action you can turn on your Doom and Gloom for 1 minute. You get some temporary hit points, fear people when you hit them, and are immune to fears yourself. You can transform a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

You also get Pact Magic, which is different from normie Spellcasting because you get the cool stuff done with just a Short Rest. Anyways you can learn two cantrips from the Warlock list like Minor Illusion to have Shadow trick some normies and Eldritch Blast to Eldritch while you Blast. You can also grab some first level Warlock spells like Hex to mark people you don’t like, and Arms of Hadar if you really need your Personal Space.

LEVEL 3 - WARLOCK 2

Second level Warlocks get their Eldritch Invocations for extra stuff that you don’t have to put effort into. While Armor of Shadows does exist it’s honestly better for you to cast Mage Armor with a spell slot, so with that being said take Agonizing Blast to agonize while you blast and Eldritch Mind so you can keep your concentration around annoying people.

You can also learn another spell like Hellish Rebuke, because people just keep barging into your Personal Space!

LEVEL 4 - SORCERER 2

Now that you can agonize your blasts it’s time to go back to Sorcerer. Second level Sorcerers get a Font of Magic for Sorcery Points which currently don’t do much other than give you more spell slots. You can turn your Warlock slots into Sorcery points though, which is good because they come back on a Short Rest but the rest of your magic does not.

You can also cast another spell like Earth Tremor, to slow people down with Looming Darkness and sunder the land with your edginess.

LEVEL 5 - SORCERER 3

Third level Sorcerers finally get Metamagic! Empowered Spell will allow you to maximize your damage and retain your role as an artillery mage. Alternatively if you want to guarantee fears in your foes take Heightened Spell to give them disadvantage to resist Shadow’s influence.

If you want Shadow to stick around then Dust Devil will swirl around for quite awhile. Alternatively Shadow (Magic) also teaches you Darkness for free, and you can cast it with 2 Sorcery Points to see through it! Your friends can’t see through it, but you can team up with Shadow for some powerful combos when you can see them but they can’t see you!

(Artwork by @jpdiasarts on Twitter.)

LEVEL 6 - SORCERER 4

4th level Sorcerers get the first of many Ability Score Improvements, but I can’t take Fey Touched every time for Flash. That, and we won’t give into basic yordle society. So let’s get value out of our Halfling race with the Second Chance feat. Along with +1 to your Charisma you can also use your reaction to make an enemy you can see attacking you reroll their attack roll, potentially making them miss.

Don’t use this against an attack that you can Shield against, but if someone gets a really good roll you can use this to get your Personal Space back! You can only use this once per combat though (it comes back when you roll for initiative!) so make sure to use it when it matters to keep your spell slots in check.

Oh and you can also learn another spell, and another cantrip! For your cantrip Shocking Grasp will help you push people away if they get too close (folk tend to react poorly when zapped by a tazer!) As for leveled spells Web will keep foes from dashing around, and is also pretty flammable. Huhn; wonder if that’ll be useful.

LEVEL 7 - SORCERER 5

5th level Sorcerers get gifts from the Ruined Queen Tasha in the form of Magical Guidance. You can use a Sorcery point to reroll a d20 if needed, potentially squeezing a success out. Don’t use this all the time (even if Warlock slots means you’ll have plenty of Sorcery points to spare) but this can be very useful in an emergency!

You can also learn third level spells and hey: Fireball may be a normie spell, but it’s still pretty effective. It’s maybe a bit too flashy to be Looming Darkness but it’s a good source of AoE damage which isn’t as loud and annoying as Shatter.

LEVEL 8 - SORCERER 6

All this time being a Shadow Sorcerer and Shadow hasn’t even done anything for us! Well how about you go out there and get some work done, Shadow? For 3 Sorcery points you can summon a Hound of Ill Omen to target a foe within 120 feet of you.

Shadow is basically a Dire Wolf except he’s Medium, has temp HP equal to half your Sorcerer level, can move through stuff (but takes damage if he ends his turn in stuff), and automatically chases whoever you told him to go for. Shadow will appear 30 feet away from the person you told him to get, and will chase after him like I said. All he’ll really do is attack the target you told him to though; he won’t even opportunity attack unless it’s the person you told him to chase. But if Shadow’s near someone they have disadvantage on their saving throws, which is pretty cool. (Unfortunately it’s only against spells, not your Form of Dread.)

Speaking of saving throws: Slow is a really great way to keep normies from running around doing annoying stuff. And you don’t have to hit Shadow with it which is pretty cool.

(Artwork by @Lauriquess on Twitter.)

LEVEL 9 - WARLOCK 3

Third level Warlocks get to choose their Pact Boon: if you want a really small Shadow go for Pact of the Chain, and if you want your cool necklace go for Pact of the Talisman, but we’ll be going for Pact of the Tome because you’re mostly a spellcaster really. (And we definitely don’t have enough cantrips.)

You get a Book of Shadows (See? Books can be cool!) with three cantrips: take Thaumaturgy to be extra spooky, Vicious Mockery for some sick teenage burns, and Sapping Sting to make normies fall over when you fear them. Some might say that 10 total cantrips by level 9 is a bit overkill but look on the dark side: you’ve now got a cantrip for basically every type of saving throw in case you can’t hit with Eldritch Blast!

Honestly none of the Pact Boons are particularly important for Vex so I picked the one that made the most sense. Feel free to take something more practical since 10 cantrips is admittedly overkill.

Oh and you can learn more Warlock spells, so now it’s time to finally take Misty Step. For Flash!

LEVEL 10 - WARLOCK 4

4th level Warlocks get another Ability Score Improvement: getting more Charisma for better spellcasting is probably a good idea.

You can also learn another spell, and hey look another cantrip. For your cantrip even if more damage options are kinda overkill by this point Chill Touch inflicts Grievous Wounds, which might be useful. You can also grab another second level spell and Blindness / Deafness (which is on the Undead list) is far more useful than any of the other normie options you’d have at this level anyways.

LEVEL 11 - WARLOCK 5

5th level Warlocks get another Eldritch Invocation, and even if you’ve got a resetting dash you’re still a squishy mage. So grab Tomb of Levistus for Zhonya's Hourglass.

You can also grab third level Warlock spells now! Remember how I took Fireball and complained that it wasn’t a good replica of Looming Darkness? Well Hunger of Hadar takes your Concentration but it’s a lot edgier!

LEVEL 12 - WARLOCK 6

6th level Undead Warlocks have become Grave Touched by the mist, and can make mist of their own! Along with being able survive without eating, drinking, or breathing you can turn any of your damage into necrotic damage. If you’re in your Form of Dread however you can add one extra damage die to whatever you’re using to get people to buzz off, adding to that morbid and macabre aesthetic.

You can also add another spell and if you’re bored with Shadow being a wolf how about you make them a Summon Shadowspawn? Weaponize your Fury, Despair, or Fear (I’d honestly recommend Fury since it has good synergy with your Dreadful Aspect) and work together with Shadow to deal with all your annoying foes! I’d also suggest replacing Hellish Rebuke with Counterspell, because even if the former fits better the latter is way more useful.

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuestling. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 13 - WARLOCK 7

7th level Warlocks can finally activate Shadow Surge. Relentless Hex lets you mark a foe with Hex and then dash to them. And technically you can move Hex around after the fact to reset your dashes! And while you’re at it you may as well grab Dimension Door for Summoner Teleport.

You could also upgrade Summon Shadowspawn to Summon Aberration if you so desire, but Summon Shadowspawn is more than strong enough and far more fun and thematic.

LEVEL 14 - WARLOCK 8

Another Ability Score Improvement. Yay. Cap off your Charisma for the best spellcasting you can get out of Shadow. You can also learn another spell, but we’re going to wait for...

LEVEL 15 - WARLOCK 9

9th level Warlocks get another Eldritch Invocation: even if it’s kinda ineffective Ascendant Step is still pretty useful to have Shadow carry you around. I mean yeah it’s slow but not that much slower than walking for you, and Shadow can lift you up in the air. “Shadow; carry me...”

You can also learn 5th level spells. If one guy’s being particularly annoying Negative Energy Flood can get them to shut up and work for you. Alternatively if you want more Personal Space Antilife Shell is on the Undead List and will make sure normies keep faaaaar away.

LEVEL 16 - WARLOCK 10

Are you ever so sick of everything that you just want to explode? Necrotic Husk has two benefits: for one you’re resistant to Necrotic damage, and immune while in your Form of Dread because being around Viego for so long means you’re used to his work.

But additionally when you are reduced to 0 hit points you can use your reaction to drop to 1 hit point instead and cause your body to explode! Each creature of your choice within 30 feet of you takes 2d10 + your warlock level in Necrotic damage. You do gain 1 level of exhaustion after using this, and after using it once you can’t do so again until you finish 1d4 long rests. So I’d perhaps use Strength of the Grave first unless you really need to lash out.

I hope you weren’t expecting more spells because you aren’t getting them from Warlock: just a cantrip. By this point we’ve honestly got far too many cantrips so I dunno maybe just grab Prestidigitation again and swap it out from Sorcerer when you get the chance.

(Artwork by @DukkoArt on Twitter.)

LEVEL 17 - SORCERER 7

Finally back to our yordle roots: 7th level Sorcerers get 4th level spells like Storm Sphere for a sphere of darkness and angst. But I mean the real benefit is that you get more Sorcery points let’s be real.

Oh and you can swap out Prestidigitation for Gust I guess. Spooky winds and stuff. Either this level or next level depending on your DM.

LEVEL 18 - SORCERER 8

Your last Ability Score Improvement... You’re gonna have to ask: what’s more important to me? More Metamagic, or more Eldritch Invocations? If Metamagic is to your liking take Metamagic Adept for Careful Spell and Distant Spell along with two more Sorcery points to use on them. If you like Eldritch Invocations though Eldritch Adept has a ton of options as a level 10 Warlock. I won’t tell you what invocation to take (they’re all great boosts but none of them shout out at me as something you should prioritize) as there are plenty of options to make your own Vex now that they’re all grown up.

I can at least tell you what spell to take: none of them! Wait until next level!

Oh and you can swap out Prestidigitation for Gust I guess.

LEVEL 19 - SORCERER 9

9th level Sorcerers can learn 5th level spells which means you’ve finally caught up to your Warlock slots. And look at that: the good wish Tasha gave you one last way to weaponize Shadow. Bigby’s Hand does a bunch of cool stuff and is pretty much the ultimate way to make Shadow crush some normies. (Most literally.) Alternatively if you want to borrow from Viego Enervation will let you heal from the mist and also do some damage. Great if you’re stuck in a corner with a bunch of annoying normies.

LEVEL 20 - SORCERER 10

Our final level is the 10th level of Sorcerer for one last spell, one last cantrip, and one last metamagic option! For your metamagic it’s honestly about time you take Quickened Spell to up your DPS. For your cantrip take Mold Earth to dig holes in the sand and brood. And as for your leveled spell? Honestly I just like Synaptic Static, and there isn’t much else I want anyways.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

We’re all doomed. But you’re more doomed - 5th level spells pack more than enough punch, and you’ve got plenty of them. Warlock slots will always be at your fingertips, and Sorcery points give you plenty of flexibility too!

I can feel it: someone’s happy over there! - Along with giving you a temporary hitpoint shield Form of Dread puts a nice bit of CC on all your abilities. Keep enemies scared and sad with tons of Doom and Gloom!

Ugh. Stop copying me Shadow! - Hounds of Ill Omen are cool. Summon Shadowspawn is also cool. Bigby’s Hand is especially cool. And hey: even your lower level Concentration spells like Hex? They’re pretty cool too.

CONS

Ughhhhhhhhhh this is gonna take foreeeever! - You’ve got limited fumes, even for a coffeelock. Form of Dread has limited uses and there’s only so much spell slot melting you can do to get your magic back.

I’m dancing... Happy? - You’ve got a really boring set of really normie skills... and if you’re playing Vex the way she’s meant to be played you’re probably not going to use any of them except for Intimidation.

Yup; the glass is half empty - Half your levels are Sorcerer levels, meaning you’re squishy. You’ve also got Mage Armor on which guess what: also means you’re squishy. People who hit teenagers sure are lame but it’s really not hard to Power Word Kill you.

But I guess you’re pretty cool overall. Shadow’s an alright partner and you can spread Ruination even without Viego. Trudge around and get people to frown for once. There’s nothing wrong with being sad, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting the world to be sad. But do try to at least be happy out of character, because we play games to have fun. I mean, who’d play a video game that just makes you depressed and angry?

(Artwork by @AzzylumArt on Twitter.)

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Veritaserum (Part 7)

Here we are friends, the next installment! If you haven't read the other parts I recommend that you either jump over to AO3 to read it or start at Part 1. I'm anticipating there will be three more chapters (maybe four?) and am hoping to have it all finished up by the first few weeks in August. Enjoy!

--------------

"Harry," Draco called as he entered the house, the comforting scent of the herbs in his greenhouse still clinging to him. "Could we order some lemon tree saplings?"

There was no response, so he wandered through into the living room and saw Harry sitting at the desk with a file spread out, papers in stacks and piles, as he read through a letter. He was rubbing his forehead like he was getting a tension head ache.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked, coming around to look over Harry's shoulder.

Harry looked up, seemingly surprised to see that Draco was here. "I got a letter from Hermione," he said, offering the letter to Draco. "She's gotten them to agree to a trial."

"Well that's good news, isn't it?" Draco asked.

"It's tomorrow."

He blinked and took the letter from Harry's hand, skimming through it, "She seems to feel pretty confident."

The other man hummed and went back to looking at the notes spread across the desk, "I don't know," he replied, gesturing to the notes he had spread across his desk. "Here are the case notes Hermione sent over. She's hopeful, but..." he trailed off.

"But?" he asked as he conjured a chair and started looking through the case notes.

Harry sighed and Draco turned his head to watch as he pulled his curls up into a messy bun. "I don't trust them," he said flatly. "There's no nice way to say it. But I don't."

"That's sad," Draco teased as he picked up the notes again, "Aren't you supposed to be the paragon of hope and optimism?"

He bumped Draco's shoulder with his own and a thrill ran through his belly. "Shut it." He shook his head, "What were you asking when you came in?"

"Lemon trees," he murmured distractedly, "But it can wait."

(Read more below the cut)

"Right," Harry replied, shoulders drooping a bit, "Well, I'm going to go make some lunch."

"Is it okay if I look at these?" Draco asked.

Harry's brow furrowed as though he couldn't understand the question, "Of course," he replied, "Let me know what you think."

-------------

Draco spent most of the day going through case notes, reading about his own case, about the cases that set helpful precedents, and about all of the research Granger had done. "Merlin, but she was thorough," Draco said later on, rubbing his eyes to try to get rid of the headache that was hovering near his temples.

"Here," Harry said, handing him a cup of tea. Then as he sat down on the couch he asked, "What do you think?"

"She seems to be very prepared," he said.

Harry nodded slowly, "But do you think that we'll win?"

He hesitated, Harry was really invested in the results of this trial he couldn't let his pessimism sway the other man. He sighed, "Honestly?"

The other man nodded, bracing himself as though he was expecting to get hit with a curse.

"I don't know," he confessed. "They really don't like me, the Ministry wants to make an example of me but they have you on the other side of this. I'm sure that they're weighing your value to them against the 'lesson' that incarcerating me will teach others."

Harry scowled.

"Hey," Draco said, setting down the papers and moving over to sit next to Harry. He bumped his knee against the other man's, "No matter what it'll be better than what you rescued me from."

With a huff, Harry replied, "That's not very reassuring."

"Let's talk about something else," Draco suggested, he couldn't bear to see the sour look on Harry's face for another minute and if this was going to be the last night he spent here, he didn't want to spend it worrying.

"Alright," Harry conceded, blowing out a breath. "Tell me what you were thinking about planting in your garden."

-------------

Draco dressed carefully the next morning, putting on a pair of slacks and a pale blue button up shirt, carefully combing his hair into place and using the shaving spell his father had taught him years ago. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment before he wandered outside to look out over the ocean.

His chest ached as the tide rolled in and the waves trailed over his toes, the warm breeze ruffling his hair brought tears stinging the back of his eyes. And Harry, Merlin, Harry; the bottom of his stomach dropped out and his chest felt tight at the thought of leaving him, he was never going to see him again after today.

It was almost enough to make him beg Harry to let him stay. Almost enough to make him ask if they could just forget about this farce of a trial and spend the rest of their lives here. Together.

But he had to go, there was no choice. It was selfish to think of staying, to imagine trapping Harry here away from his friends and family, away from the world that he'd saved.

"Hey," Harry murmured behind him.

"Hey," Draco replied, glancing at him over his shoulder. The dark circles under his eyes indicating Harry had slept as poorly as he had. "It's going to be alright," Draco assured him.

Harry hummed. "We could just stay here, you know," he said softly. "We don't have to go back at all."

His heart twisted painfully and he had to take a deep breath before he could trust the words about to come out of his mouth. "They'll never stop hunting me, Harry. And they'll never let you come back to the Wizardng World if you don't take me back now."

"I don't care!" Harry exclaimed and the gulls that had been on the beach near the house took off, flapping their wings to lift into the air and away from the noise. "Draco, I don't care," he repeated.

Draco turned fully to look at him, "Your bravery has always been your undoing."

Harry looked down and slowly reached for Draco's hand and Draco stopped breathing as their fingers slotted together. "I'm not sure about this," Harry said, squeezing his fingers.

"I'm not either. But we have to try," he said. Then with a little smile he added, "Besides, your friends will never forgive you if you don't let Hermione use all the things she's been working on."

Harry let out a tiny huff of a laugh, "You're not wrong about that." He shook his head and released Draco's hand, "I'm going to grab the portkey."

After he went inside, Draco turned and wandered one last time through the greenhouse that Harry had built for him. Admiring the work bench and the cupboards, brushing his fingers through the ferns and inhaling deeply near the lavender. Consciously trying to store all of the sun, and fresh air, and plants away for the dark days ahead.

When he emerged, Harry was standing there waiting with and old hat in his hands, "Ready?"

Draco nodded, then he said, "Before we go," Harry's eyes snapped to his. "I just wanted to say thank you for all of this," he said, gesturing around him to the little slice of heaven he'd enjoyed living in for the past few weeks. "And thank you for saving me."

Harry's eyes filled a bit and Draco cleared his throat and looked away, trying to keep himself from crying.

"I will never forget what you did for me," he said and then he held out his wand, "Would you keep this for me?" he asked.

He watched Harry's adam's apple bob as he reached out and took it.

"Then if everything goes well you can just hand it back and if it doesn't," he shrugged one shoulder, "At least I'll know it's with a friend."

Before he could say anything else, Harry was pulling him into his arms and wrapping him in a tight hug. "We don't have to do this," Harry murmured. "Say the word and we'll stay right here. I'll order your lemon trees, I'll-"

Draco pressed a quick kiss to Harry's cheek, "You're a good person, Harry Potter," he said before pulling back and clearing his throat.

"So that's a no, then?" Harry asked.

The corner of his mouth tilted up, "That's a no, but thank you."

With a nod, Harry turned and headed into the greenhouse to hide Draco's wand away. "I'm not turning in your wand when they check us in at the Ministry," he grumbled. Then he looked at Draco for a long moment, "You're sure?"

"As sure as I'll ever be."

After another long pause, Harry nodded once and activated the portkey. Draco took one last, longing look at the only house that had ever really felt like home before he was being whisked away to a trial that Draco couldn't ever imagine would have a good outcome.

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Veritaserum Prompt Part 1 Veritaserum Prompt Part 2 Veritaserum Prompt Part 3 Veritaserum Prompt Part 4 Veritaserum Prompt Part 5 Veritaserum Prompt Part 6

[joy1579]

self indulgent

I've been sad. so i wrote a thing to make me less sad. maybe it'll make someone else less sad too or at the very least they can laugh at my “cringe” but either way it did make me less sad so goal accomplished.

Mc and jumin organize a bookshelf jumin asks what neko girls are and MC short circuits his brain for a couple of seconds. no smut just fluff

Moving hadn’t taken long. You had opted to donate your furniture to the local homeless shelter since Jumin’s penthouse was furnished with the highest quality furniture you could dream of. Honestly most of your things paled in comparison to the lavish goods Jumin considered tawdry. Still there were a quite a few boxes you had decided to save, filled mostly with sentimental keepsakes and the few odds and ends that catered to your specific tastes. You were practically finished by noon save the three or four boxes that sat in the main room next to the larger than life bookshelves. Certainly there was plenty of room on them. You never where a fan of negative space on bookshelves but if you were being completely honest that had more to do with how many books you needed to fit in such a finite space. Jumins bookshelves had plenty of room with just enough negative space to look perfectly balanced and while you knew Jumin had told you to do whatever you wished this felt intimate. Bookshelves where holy spaces after all, housing books that change hearts and minds alike that shape the soul and … okay so maybe you just really liked books and that made them seem important to you either way this was definitely something you wanted to do with Jumin. When you heard the door rattle with Jumin homecoming you bolt towards it excited to greet him after work.

“Jumin! Welcome home!” you cried bouncing in place as he made his way inside. You smiled as you saw the creases in his brown flatten and the stress slip from shoulders when he saw you. You waited all of 5 seconds for him to close the door giving you both some privacy from the bodyguards stationed outside before you pounced, leaping upon the business man wrapping your arms around his neck. You delighted in the deep honey of his laughter as he caught your waist in kind and kissed the top of your head gently.

“darling. I’m so glad to be home. How was your day? did you get settled?” Jumin asked as you pulled yourself back slightly giving him room to loosen his tie and set aside his coat.

“everything is in its place except um Jumin there is one thing I need if you don’t mind”

“name it and its yours”

“I wanted to share your bookshelves and I was hoping that maybe you could organize the books with me?” you admitted shyly. It had seemed like such a good idea in the beginning he could show you his favorite books, walk you through his favorite plots and tell you his favorite quotes and you could do the same with him. Yet now as you presented the idea to him you worried. What if he was to tired he had worked all day after all, what if he thought you too needy, or your books to childish. what if he didn’t want your books displayed in the living room because they weren’t very pretty, all of his books where gorgeous leather bound tomes or mint condition hardcovers, yours where second hand at best many where decommissioned library books or garage sale rescues, broken in battered and bruised by years of use. It would make sense to have them put away in a back room where they couldn’t tarnish the pristine collection Jumin had on display. Perhaps you where spiraling, working yourself into a nervous frenzy in the span of a few seconds.

“nothing would make me happier love. We can call the chef to start dinner and begin emptying the shelves for rearranging while he works.” You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face or the giggle that escaped your lips. The surprise on Jumins face was evident if only for a second before it gave way to a warm sort of fondness. “had I known simple redecorating would make you this happy I would have stayed home and done it all with you” he said affectionately running his fingers through your hair.

“it’s not that I just,” you paused face flushing a bit “books are a big deal, ya know? My dad used to tell me that every book you read becomes a part of you and that you can learn more about someone by the books they love than by the words they say so I wanted to share that with you” jumins eyes where so soft and gentle in that moment you felt your breath hitch “I want to know everything about you and, and I want you to know everything about me” suddenly his lips where on yours fervent and full of passion the hand that had been in your hair now on your chin guiding you too him. The kiss was short and when you parted from him he stayed close, just a hairs breath from your face.

Jumin voice was little more than a whisper as he asked “how is it that every day I manage to fall more in love with you?” you couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss him again an all too familiar giddiness bubbling its way through your soul. You loved this man more than life itself and you knew that would never change.

 “so your ‘Encyclopedia of Fairies’ should go next to the Catherynne M Valente series so we can reference it while reading agreed?” you giggled thrilled that his collection of mythological reference books slotted together with your fae fiction so perfectly. Puzzle pieces connecting to create a masterpiece.

“yes I think that’s perfect. I can’t wait to read her interpretation of such ancient mythos. I also have ‘The World Guide to Gnomes, Fairies, Elves and Other Little People’ if you’d like to add it to that shelf” he said grinning like a child at show and tell.

“oh my goodness yes! That’s perfect and your book on Romanian vampires should be near my ‘Dracula’ and ‘vittorio’ that way that shelf over there can be dedicated to the occult, hauntings, and psychic reference books”

“that sound wonderful and takes care of all the written word but we still haven’t found a place for your comics” Jumin informed glancing toward the woefully large stack of manga you had brought.

“not comic Jumin manga and yeah I think we’re out of space though. I um I didn’t think I had that many books. Sorry” you admitted not meeting his eyes. He tilted your head up to look at him.

“there’s no need to apologize it simply means that tomorrow we can go shopping for another shelf and the next day we can organize those. I’m quite curious about ‘la petite cossette’ you said these where Japanese but that is most certainly a French title.”

“oh I actually think you’d like that one a lot it’s about a man who falls in love with a woman in a cursed portrait its actually pretty tragic in the end.”

“How interesting” he mused retrieving it from the pile of books and skimming through it “the art is truly enchanting and you said that manga has its own subculture?”

“yeah from neko girls to shonen action tropes it has its own vocabulary, history and groups of people its really fun”

“neko girls?” Jumin repeated and your eyes widened at his confusion. This was definitely something he of all people should know about! You jumped up and sprinted to the closet you had filled earlier that day with the few cosplay supplies you had. At the time it had taken nearly half your pay check but if Jumin liked them right now the purchase then would be completely justified. You put on your surprise as quickly as possible before rushing back out to greet Jumin who had just made it to the edge of the living room to come find where you had gone. He froze for a second processing what you were now wearing. White cat ears that moved and twitched fairly believably and just as he was able to cope with that your made paws with your hands and tried your best “nya”. For a moment you feared you may have broken him. He didn’t move his face blank, eyes fixed on you. You tried again hoping to spur some sort of reaction from him “nya?” you said turning to the side slightly to show off the other half of your surprise a white tail complete with pink bow and bell at the base where it attached to your skirt. You tilted your head to look up at him through your lashes trying every trick in your arsenal to look as cute as possible but nothing. He was completely frozen. “Jumin? Hello?” now you were getting worried “darling are you okay?” you asked placing the back of your hand on his forehead to feel for a temperature. The second your hand touched him however his face flushed.

“neko girl.” He muttered “that’s neko as in cat” you could see him trying to calm himself. Fiddling with his shirt sleeves and attempting to stay in control. You smiled standing on your tip toes to kiss his cheek and whisper in his ear.

“am I a good little kitten at least?”  you couldn’t contain your giggle as you heard him choke slightly before scooping you up bridal style.

“certainly not, in fact I think you’ve been a very bad little kitten.” He said his voice deeper than normal as he carried you back towards the bedroom.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #199

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're making the Jotaro Kujo of FGO, Semiramis! (Seriously, how does that cape/hair... thing work? It's wild.) The queen of poisons is a Graviturgy Wizard to make building a floating castle slightly less difficult to make and cooler to live in, plus a Witherbloom Druid for some dove friends and extra poisons. If you've seen our builds for Waver and Edison, you might know already that building things with magic is costly and time-consuming, and for once that is 100% accurate to the character. Get ready, this is gonna be a weird one.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: I'm 40% appendicitis!

Race and Background

Semiramis is technically an aasimar, but she doesn't fly around or heal people, so we can just focus on her human side. .... Oooor we can focus on those ears, because we need to nick some stuff from being an Elf. Specifically, we're going with the Vahadar Elf from Plane Shift Kaladesh, since they've got the ears, the proficiencies we'll need later, and their backstory's still about living in general society, unlike wood elves and other Kaladeshian elves. Thanks to Tasha's Cauldron of Everything, this gives her +2 Intelligence and +1 Wisdom, as well as Darkvision, Fey Ancestry against being charmed, a Trance instead of sleep so she can't be put to sleep, Keen Senses for proficiency in Perception, the Mending cantrip to piece together the castle later, and most importantly Elf Weapon Training. Normally this would give her proficiency with four weapons, but thanks to Tasha's we can swap this out with four tools instead. Carpenter's, Glassblower's, Mason's, and Smith's Tools proficiency should give us everything we need to build a castle later- we'll go into the why when we get there.

Semiramis is also a Noble- grab History, but swap out Persuasion for Deception. Yeah, not even her background can escape how weird this build is.

Ability Scores

Poisoning skills come from Intelligence (I think. WotC are really nonspecific about how to actually fucking make poison), and it's also your main casting modifier: put that first. Second should be your Charisma, nobody drinks poison on purpose, so you'd better get good at lying. After that is Wisdom. If your poisons aren't made with Intelligence it'll definitely be wisdom. That means your Dexterity isn't great- yeah, you fight in a dress, but if you're fighting and not your lackeys, something's gone wrong. We're not dumping Constitution because we're not stupid, so dump Strength instead. You've got minions to carry rocks around for you.

Class Levels

Wizard 1: Starting as a wizard nets you the weakest hit die in the game, but it also gets you proficiency in Intelligence and Wisdom saves, plus the Arcana and Medicine skills. You're half caster, and if you want to ruin someone's bodily functions you have to know what those are first. Starting as a wizard also gets you Spells that you can cast and prepare using your Intelligence. You get six at first level and two each level after. That's a lot, so we're just going to over spells that are important for the build here, though there's a full list of what we'd get in the character sheet. For cantrips, grab Infestation and Poison Spray for poison damage. For once infestation is completely kosher as is, since Semiramis can summon any creature as long as its poisonous. Also, grab Message. Castle halls are big and echo-y, and it's probably not a good idea to shout at people to find out which glass they put the poison in. Aside from that, grab Mage Armor so you die less, Magic Missile for Assassin balls, and Tenser's Floating Disk to carry all the raw materials you'll be using later. Finally, you get an Arcane Recovery once per long rest, letting you recover a couple spell slots on a short rest. The total level you recover is equal to half your wizard level, rounded up.

Wizard 2: Going into second level of wizard gives you a school of magic, and it's hard to lift several tons of stone into the air if you're not into Graviturgy. When you take the subclass, you can Adjust Density as an action, doubling or halving a large or smaller creature/object's weight for up to a minute with concentration. If you reduce a creature's weight it'll increase their speed by 10', double their jump distance, and have disadvantage on strength saves and checks, and vice versa if you increase it. I checked, and stone is roughly 1,000 times denser than air, not 2, so we'll have to do some brewing later to make this work out. Make your strong minions stronger, your fast minions faster, or do the opposite for your enemies.

Wizard 3: Third level wizards get second level spells. You won't get any dragons in this build, sad to say, but you can use Dragon's Breath to turn just about anything into a dragon. They can even spit poison breath, which is really good with the poisoner's feat. Speaking of..

Wizard 4: First Ability Score Improvement of the build, so grab the Poisoner's Feat for more poisony goodness. All poison-based damage rolls you make ignore resistance, you can coat weapons as a bonus action, and you get proficiency in the poisoner's kit. You also learn a special poison that'll force a dc 14 constitution save on the creature you use it on, dealing 2d8 poison damage and poisoning them for a round.

Wizard 5: Fifth level wizards get third level spells. Animate Dead will help you make dragontooth warriors, a.k.a. skeletons. You can make one per casting right now, but you can recast the spell to retain control over up to three skeletons at once. Otherwise they'll be uncontrollable monsters, which is probably less of a goal.

Druid 1: Semiramis might be known for her poisons, but she's really a multifaceted person. Well, not really, but if you want poisons, you're going to get them from animals. If you want animals, you're going to get them from druids. First level druids learn Druidic- it's a language! They also get another set of Spellcasting using their Wisdom to cast and prepare spells. Check the multiclassing table to figure out your spell slots. Grab Guidance and Resistance to be a bit better than everyone else. For first level spells, look for Entangle and Snare to summon chains to slow down enemies, and Speak with Animals to make sure your dovey-woveys know their work is appreciated. We haven't gotten dovey-woveys yet? Don't worry, they're coming.

Druid 2: Second level druids join their circle, and you're so goddamn smart you just joined another school. At the college of Witherbloom, you'll learn how to turn the vitality of nature into deadly poisons. Right off the bat you get circle spells, which are always prepared for you and don't count against how many spells you can prepare. Right now you get the Spare the Dying cantrip as well as Cure and Inflict Wounds. Now you don't literally have to summon a whip every time you want to hit someone. You can also tap in creatures' essences with your Essence Tap. As a bonus action, you empower yourself for 1 minute, gaining one of two options. Overgrowth lets you heal yourself with a hit die each turn as a bonus action, adding your wisdom modifier to the amount healed. Withering Strike lets you change your damage to necrotic when you hit someone with any sort of damage, ignoring resistances to make your poisons even deadlier. You can use this proficiency times per long rest. Most importantly, you gain a Wild Shape / Wild Companion. Both features use the same two charges per short rest. You're limited to what you can turn into based on its CR and movement options, but those limits and how long you can transform/summon a creature for grows as you level up. Currently I'd stick with Wild Companion for dove familiars, but some versions of Semiramis' story include her turning into a dove herself at the end, so Wild Shape isn't out of the question. As long as we sink eight levels into druid, at least.

Druid 3: Third level druids get second level spells, like your freebies Lesser Restoration and Ray of Enfeeblement. Look, if you're going to make poisons it only makes sense that you'd have antidotes on hand. You can also grab spells like Animal Messenger to send your doves out for ingredients, and Locate Animals or Plants to find them yourself.

Wizard 6: Sixth level graviturgists can make a Gravity Well when you cast a spell, moving the target 5 feet in any direction if it is willing or you successfully hit it with the spell. Speaking of spells that push people, Pulse Wave does just that, stepping in for the big stompy dragon animation. Creatures in a 30' cone make a constitution save, and if they fail they'll take force damage and get pushed back 15', or 20' with Gravity Well. You can also pull them, but that's not really stompy at that point. You can also Summon Undead to create a stronger skeleton to lead the others.

Druid 4: At fourth level, druids can transform into swimming creatures, and you also get another ASI. Bump up your Intelligence for stronger spells. Also, grab the Control Fire cantrip, it'll be cold in your castle without it.

Druid 5: Fifth level druids get third level spells, like Revivify and Vampiric Touch. Neither of those are in character, but you can also Conjure Animals (as long as they're poisonous) and Dispel Magic to keep your throne room free of nonsense.

Wizard 7: Seventh level wizard get fourth level spells, including the one we've been working our way up to, Fabricate! As long as you have the raw materials, you can turn them into products of the same material. Since you're working with stone, you're limited to creating Medium objects this way. Just line the outside of the medium objects you make with halves of smaller objects, then mend them together, and eventually you'll have a castle. This will take a while. For a decent-sized castle of 300'x400', you'll be looking at roughly 480 medium-sized blocks per floor. At level 20 you'll have 12 spell slots of fourth level or higher, so you can knock out a floor in roughly 40 days, not including things like doors or other furniture. Also worth noting, you can't make fancy things like glass without proficiency in the tools required to make them normally, hence all the tool proficiencies from your racial bonuses.

Wizard 8: Use your next ASI to bump up your Wisdom for better healing and stronger druid spells. You also learn Mordenkainen's Private Sanctum, so you can prevent creatures from spying into your hanging gardens. Especially useful is the ability to block creatures from teleporting or plane shifting onto your grounds, as that's probably the only way to approach your gardens safely. Or at least it is after you learn Ice Storm, a long range spell that pelts enemies with ice and turns the area into difficult terrain. Of note, it doesn't say the ground, so the entire cylinder will be difficult to fly through. If you want to build giant arcane cannons instead for authenticity, I salute you. Just remember that'll have to come out of your budget.

Wizard 9: Ninth level wizards get fifth level spells, and Wall of Stone will help you speed up construction by making ten 10'x10' panels or ten 10'x20' panels. You can also use this spell to create bridges or the like, and if you hold concentration for 10 minutes the stone remains permanently. If you want to skimp on materials so you can just get this fucking thing in the air already, this'll help with that. You're also learning Geas. If you can't summon a dragon, forcibly controlling a dragon is the next best thing.

Druid 6: Did you think we were done with druid? I said we were stuck here for 8 levels, didn't I? Sixth level witherbloom druids can make a Witherbloom Brew thanks to their new proficiency with Herbalism kits. At the end of a long rest, you can use that kit to make Proficiency brews, which last for 24 hours. A Fortifying brew gives a creature resistance to a damage type chosen at brewing (cold, fire, necrotic, poison, or radiant) for an hour. A Quickening brew heals its drinker, and ends one disease or an effect of charming, frightening, paralyzation, poisoning, or stunning. Again, antidotes might be useful to have on hand, but the real reason we're here is for the Toxifying brew. You can apply the brew to a weapon, and the next time within an hour that weapon hits a creature, they take 2d6 poison damage and have to make a constituiton saving throw (DC 8 + your wisdom modifier + proficiency) or be poisoned for a minute. This is literally so much better than the poisoner feat what the hell.

Druid 7: Seventh level druids get fourth level spells, like Blight and Greater Restoration for stronger poisons and antidotes respectively. You can also Dominate Beast to hold any poisonous critters still while you milk them, or summon Giant Insects instead. They obey you and stay giant until they drop to 0 HP, dismiss the effect, the spell ends.

Druid 8: Our last level of druid finally lets you turn into a dove with a second Wild Shape Improvement. You also get another ASI, so bump up that Wisdom for stronger spells and poisons.

Wizard 10: Tenth level graviturgists can create a Violent Attraction between a creature's face and a weapon, causing a nearby weapon attack to deal an extra 1d10 damage. Alternatively, you can increase the attraction between a creature and the ground, adding 2d10. I doubt your hanging gardens need help making the fall more deadly, but now you can help out of need be. You can do this Intelligence modifier per long rest.

Wizard 11: Eleventh level wizards get sixth level spells, like Guards and Wards. This will make it so much harder for enemies to breach your castle it isn't even funny, if the "hanging out in the stratosphere" thing didn't tip them off already.

Wizard 12: By twentieth level you should have a castle set up, so grab the Lucky feat. Basically, everything that can go right for you does while you're in your castle, so now you get 3 luck points per long rest to make sure that happens, letting you re-roll your attacks, saves, and checks, as well as attacks aimed at you.

So how the fuck do I get a flying castle?

So, admittedly this is up to DM fiat, but let's be real, a flying castle sounds sick as hell and gathering resources is a great reason to go adventuring. If I was your DM, it'd go something like this; After x months of research, you find a way to prepare materials so Adjust Density is permanent on them if you concentrate for the duration. Then you make and fuse together castle chunks as described in level twelve, and eventually you lighten the load on the special rocks so much they're lighter than air. Boom, liftoff, you're fucking awesome now. If you want to go down, just make the float rocks heavier again.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Even if you don't build a giant floating castle in your adventure, that doesn't mean all this prepwork went to waste. You are a master at protecting areas from invasion, so no matter where you lay your head you know it's going to be safe. Not as safe as a floating castle, but still, safe.

By mixing together all your tool proficiencies with Fabricate, you can make pretty much whatever you need from raw materials. No more paying a smithy for fancier armor!

If you do get your castle in the air or you're near a cliff, you are incredibly deadly, with plenty of ways to shove opponents around or otherwise control movement. Slow them down, trip them up, or shove them off a cliff it's so good. Pulse people off the edge of your garden and laugh at them as they fall.

Cons:

There's literally no rules about building your own castles & poisons, so most of this build is entirely dependent on your DM. If you get a cool one, cool! If you don't, this build is pretty much a writeoff.

You need to hide away in your castle and send out minions because you're kind of pathetic in person. With only 14 AC and less than 100 HP, you'll go down faster than Medb if you don't use your Wild Shapes well.

A lot of that can be chalked up to mixing caster classes, meaning we have to spend more ASIs to make both spell modifiers good, and we miss out on higher level spells. Also, spending 8 levels in druid just to turn into a dove isn't that great unless you really want the flavor. I highly recommend skipping out after 6, the last graviturgy effect is great both to knock people out of the sky and make them bow if they get to your throne room.

But, getting to your throne room is 90% of the fight. This build is one that emphasizes patience, and that's what puts you above the common folk. Hang out in the stratosphere, attend social events in style, and let your poisons and skeleton warriors do the fighting for you. Just be glad there aren't any wacky knights riding hippogryphs around.

[klance-fics]

college/university aus:

if the silence was a song

“It’s … Your show is on so late at night,” Keith tries to explain, as if Lance didn’t know this already. “I guess I was just wondering why that is.”

A crackling silence answers him, and Keith’s stomach sinks. Did Lance hang up? Keith can’t exactly blame him.

But then he hears Lance make a noise––a short huff of breath that might have been either an impatient sigh or a quiet laugh … Keith has no clue.

“That’s the reason you’re calling? To complain about my time slot?”

or, Keith starts anonymously calling Lance's college radio show and develops an unexpected crush.

it grows stronger

College campuses are a cesspool of awkward encounters. Some more unnerving than others, as Lance comes to find. He thinks it's important to note that in all those instances, Keith is there to witness them. Actually, that's unfair. Admittedly Keith happens be useful in getting him out of those situations. Affection, as it goes, grows stronger when you're constantly being "saved" by a protective rival – but mostly friend at this point.

Or 5 times Keith helped Lance out of a situation and the 1 time Lance tried to pay back the saves.

thread our way through a string of stars

Lance is a humble astrophysics student trying to conduct research, which turns out to be a bit difficult to do when he finds a strange guy sitting in his customary research spot. A strange guy looking for aliens, no less.

Lance isn't going to stand for this.

you should date me

“I can read you, Keith Kogane. You’re tired and maybe a little sad, and this mask will lift your spirits, heal your aura, align your chakras. Trust me.”

“I chrusht myou,” Keith says through his fish lips, Lance's hands warm against his squished cheeks, his heart pounding ridiculously in his chest.

Dewey Despicable

"To the toddler who left coffee stains all over the ancient myth books – have you ever heard of these fantastic things called lids? You can put them on all sorts of things; cups, Tupperware, a coffin. Which is exactly what I’ll be shutting you in if you desecrate my thesis paper’s primary sources again."

when the lights go out

Date and a Fifth: a type of party in which everyone must come with a date and a 750 ML bottle of hard alcohol (fifth). However, you must stay zip tied to your date until the two of you finish the entire bottle together.

//

(In which Lance needs a date, Keith needs cash, and maybe they fall in love along the way.)

Very Gay a.k.a Keith Kogane

“Can I get a name?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I’m - “ Keith pauses, if only for a moment, because he could not only get drunk over the voice that barista is graced with, but also in those eyes. Those cheekbones, lips, eyelashes. That skin, hair, nose. And woah, just woah.

Don’t fuck this up, Brain.

“I’m - uh, I’m gay.”

You’re an asshole, Brain.

[Or based on the prompt that Keith is too gay to function and he's at the mercy of a cute Cuban boy with bright blue eyes behind the counter.]

Blade of Ducklings

“Hey, babe?”

Keith hums, eyes never leaving his phone as he leans forward for his greeting kiss, something Lance provides without hesitation.

“Are you aware there’s a baby duck on your head?” Lance asks as he pulls away from his boyfriend’s cheek to stare at the small duckling on Keith’s hair, snuggled up and quacking softly.

“Yeah, turns out I have a son now.”

“Cool. Does he have a name?”

“Blade.”

“I don’t even know why I ask.”

[The one where Keith adopts a duckling my accident and comes to realization that letting your child fly away is the hardest part of being a parent.]

unmixed signals

Lance honked his horn. “Keith, get your bitch ass in my car before I run you over.”

“Sorry my dad taught me not to enter strangers’ cars.”

“You’re gonna get sick standing out here just get in.”

Keith cupped his hands around his mouth. “HELP!” he yelled. “I don’t know this man! He’s trying to kidnap me!”

--

In which a rainy Sunday morning brings with it some wet groceries, a valiant rescue, and some much needed romantic clarity.

Dorks

Inspired by a post on Tumblr!

Lance is the only one listening to the current presentation, and oh boy is it something to listen to. The kid has been rambling on about aliens for ten minutes and he is trying so hard not to laugh. So hard. Turns out the kid didn't even think Lance was paying attention, so when he finds out Lance was he books it. Like, as fast it takes Lance to turn his head, that kid was gone.

Keith wants to die. The Hot Guy in his bio class was actually listening to him talk about aliens. That's it. He's done. Kill him now.

Poor Shiro is just trying to keep his little brother sane.

[desidarling123]

FATWS Episode 4: A Definitive* Rank Ordering of Most Interesting Character Arcs, from Yours Truly

(*And by definitive I mean completely subjective, but yanno.)

IF YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR FATWS. SCROLL AWAY NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT EM.

Now let's get into it:

1. John Walker

Let me start by saying -- the near-universal John Walker hate from fandom has always been largely undeserved, and that's a hill I'll die on. It comes out of, I think, a visceral sort of need to slot him into an easily understood black-or-white binary when, truthfully, he is neither, and I think this episode was the BEST example of that. The sheer range he exhibits in such a short time -- a handful of character moments and action sequences in the larger fifty minute episode -- serve to humanize him in a way that's messy and intense and very, very real.

Because MAN. Whether you were already sympathetic to John's plight or not, the death of his partner, Lemar Hoskins, is viscerally disturbing. There's no other way to put it. FATWS has not shied away from some pretty crazy onscreen kills, but this one was arguably the worst in how brutally mundane it was. Lemar was in the wrong place at the wrong time -- a man fighting amongst a whole room of super soldiers. He never stood a chance -- and yet, he still jumped in harm's way to save his best friend, a man in whom he saw indisputable goodness, even when the man could not see it himself. There's an obvious Steve/Bucky parallel here, but with a much darker and more realistic twist -- not all of us, after all, can be lucky enough to receive super strength that could save our lives. Lemar was always a regular mortal -- and for that transgression, he pays the ultimate price.

And then. What happens after. Oh. My. God. I felt Walker's rage and hopelessness through the screen. The death of that Flag Smasher -- at the hands of Captain America, no less, a man he'd admitted to admiring as a child not ten minutes earlier -- was brilliantly executed.

With the final shot of the townspeople recording the brutal murder it becomes overwhelmingly clear -- we are witnessing the tragic fall of a man who was, for all his previous missteps, trying to be a hero. But John's moral compass just died a meaningless, horrible death -- and without him by his side, Walker has become a man unhinged.

2. Bucky Barnes and Ayo

I debated putting this one at number two because I'd argue there were some weird elements to the writing choices made (more on that in a sec), but, nevertheless. Bucky and Ayo get slot #2.

That flashback to Wakanda got me excited, but I didn't expect my heart to get shattered almost right away. Oh. My. God. His interactions with Ayo BROKE ME. There's so much nuance in a scene that’s incredibly well-acted by both Sebastian and Florence — you see both of them in a moment that is incredibly pivotal for the former’s character, and we see the latter reacting with sympathy, strength, and enormous grace. I had expected a scene like this to be with Shuri (given that we last saw her with Bucky in the post credits of Black Panther) but, given the context of what was being performed (a final test of the trigger words) having Ayo there made a lot of sense. She could take him down if need be — but as the scene so wonderfully shows, thankfully, she doesn’t have to. Instead, she’s there to let him know that for the first time in almost a century, he’s free again.

Now, let’s get into some of the unevenness. I had hoped, at the end of the last episode, that Bucky had at least informed the Dora Milaje of his liaison with Zemo — that, perhaps, it had been Bucky’s intent to hand him over all along. Alas, that was not the case — Bucky, it seems, had broken Zemo out with little thought to — or perhaps simply silent acceptance of — the consequences that would come with it.

This is the part, again, where the writing felt a bit weak. We know from the opening shots of the episode that Bucky cares enormously for Ayo — they’re not simply soldiers in arms, but they’ve shared a moment of immense vulnerability together. We ALSO know that he cares enormously for T’Challa, for Shuri, and for Wakanda as a country (see Infinity War, where he says “I love this place” in reference to his new home).

So that begs the question — why? Why did he betray them in that way, besides sheer desperation for a lead? And it’s not one, I’d argue, that we are given a satisfying answer to. Bucky has been reckless to an alarming degree in the last few episodes, but not informing Wakanda of his intention to liaise with the man who killed their king feels like a MAJOR tactical oversight. Is he willing to burn everything down to win this battle against the Flag Smashers? Are these his self destructive tendencies kicking in? OR, is he just truly so blinded by his emotions surrounding his past that he’s willing to throw away what could very well be his future? Only time will tell. But I hope he’ll do right by Ayo and Wakanda, as he clearly has a LOT to make up for.

3. Baron Helmut Zemo

God. I love Zemo’s psychotic, problematic ass. Say what you want, but the man is the most efficient of them all and he isn't a super soldier or an Avenger. Over and over, he shows that he's truly smarter than them and always has been.

He doesn't get personal. He doesn’t get distracted. He knows exactly what his goal is, and he executes on it. Mans didn’t hesitate to unload several bullets into Karli, and as soon as he figured out what the vials were, he destroyed all except one. Like I said, the most efficient person on the team. Has arguably done more to forward the cause against the Flag Smashers/continued existence of super soldiers than anyone else and it’s only been a few days. Between that, his god-awful dancing skills and him shooting the eugenicist scientist without so much as a blink of an eye, I think he's a man after my own heart. I’m almost sad to see him get what’s coming for him come next episode. (Because y’all, he did still kill King T’Chaka, and there’s no way the Dora leave here without taking him out on a silver platter and an apple stuffed in his mouth). But again, let’s see how that pans out.

4. Sam Wilson

WHAT are the writers doing to Sam, I swear to God? We didn't get too much introspection into where his head's at during this episode, and when we did the treatment felt uneven at best. I think, in trying to have him create a rapport with Karli, the writers have created some areas of commonality that didn’t always translate as they’d like. It was also weird to see Sam swinging from the well-earned cynicism of the previous two episodes to the sort of wide-eyed optimism Steve used to portray. Perhaps that was simply to try and show Karli an alternative, but as the episode showed, she clearly wasn't buying (though, in Sam’s defense, he came pretty close).

Something about Sam’s characterization in this episode didn’t really do it for me — I would argue episode one and two were both stronger in that regard. Nevertheless, I’m hopeful that they’ll correct it in the next one.

5. Karli Morgenthau

Her treatment is arguably the worst of them all. She is young, yeah, but she oscillates at an alarming rate between spouting class discourse that, by this episode, feels largely derivative (like someone scrolled on Twitter and put a bunch of keywords together in hopes of evoking an emotional audience response) and homicidal tendencies that show a brutal yet fundamentally messy underpinning. Unlike Zemo, she is still too easily confounded, and that will come to bite her in the ass sooner rather than later. (See: The Power Broker)

Perhaps I'm meant to be rooting for her on some degree but I really can't -- she's cruel and sloppy, which I cannot forgive.

Oh, and she killed Lemar Hoskins and threatened Sarah Wilson. Yikes.

Overall Episode Takeaway: A lot of shocking moments and great acting beats for everyone involved (arguably some of the best of the series thus far), but the weakness of the writing does crop up in parts. Whether they'll be corrected for going forward is to be determined...

UP NEXT: Meta pieces for Sam, Bucky, John, and Zemo all in the works!

[transhoverfish]

Just curious..

What do you like and don't like about each of the Subnautica games? (If there's anything to hate about these games, they're amazing)

tbh i dont have many complaints about either game, although i have felt that playing both quickly after the other does,,, make the differences super noticeable. things in sub1 i never had a problem w or didnt bother me much have become more bothersome now that ive played bz

like the battery meter on tools and the option to choose where each go in the slot? having to mess w all my tools to get them the EXACT order i wanted (for maximum efficiency of course) was always sort of annoying to me but nbd. now i can barely STAND how the tool menu works/looks in sub1 bc the bz version is.... so much better

I ALSO have a few gripes w bz that have slowly started to bother me more and more as i play. and by a few i mean one thing specifically. the CRASHING. obvs both games have a bit of a crashing and framerate and pop-in issue, but bz is just,,,, so much worse when it comes to crashes.

ive had sub1 on pc and ps4 for like, 3 years now?? and ive dealt w maybe around 5-10 crashes total in those three years, very sporadically? since ive bought bz less than a month ago ive dealt w at least 30 crashes. if i play for an hour it crashes at LEAST 1 time, usually 2 or 3 on average. i quit playing due to crashing more often than i quit after a save and exit. and although ive played sub1 considerably less on the switch, its still not crashed a single time, which makes me think it might be a bz problem and not a switch problem, but idk. i save often enough that i never lose more than 10 minutes at worse, but still,,,,,the crashing is constant. if the loading times were as bad as sub1's (which thankfully they are not), i would probably only play every once in a while bc i just cannot get more than 30 minutes in w/o a crash.

speaking of loading screens holy SHIT sub1 takes like 3 minutes at best to load in a NEW save. i could literally get up and make myself lunch and be back before it loads up on a save with more than 1 small tube of a habitat built in. bz has sped that up a lot which makes the loading screen feel even worse (once again, fixing a problem and then going back to that problem in sub1 just accidentally makes the game a bit more frustrating)

other than those few technical problems, most of which could very well be due to my own old ps4, laptop that doesn't quite meet the spec requirements, and attempt to play subnautica on a SWITCH of all things; the only genuine complaints i have about both is the ending in sub1 being 'make the rocket' after the lost river/lava zone segments is the worst part of the game and i almost never fully finish playthroughs bc that much resource collecting and grinding at the v end is hell! aaand the ice spires can compete with the dunes for "large open area full of death and bullshit that nobody ever wants to go to" bc i spent an hour and a half in the arctic spires the first time i went there in survival! and despite exploring it extensively in creative and having a base right outside in survival i STILL get lost constantly. for the record im usually good at navigating back to somewhere in these games w/o signals, esp if ive been there multiple times. i just get lost in the arctic spires constantly. the ice worms dont help!!!

I JUST REALIZED IVE TYPE. A LOT OF COMPLAINTS. SORRY ABOUT THAT AKRBKABRJRBS ILL GET TO THE THINGS I LIKE NOW I PROMISE

the soundtrack in both games is AMAZING and i geniuenly just listen to them both for fun and get the songs stuck in my head sometimes. theres one from bz in my head right now it plays in the lilypad islands and i cannot remember what its called rn.

the sound design is both games is also really good?? i sit on the bz start menu and listen to the pengwengs, and sub1 in particular is like my favorite sound design in anything ever. i go in creative and just chill next to the creatures SO OFTEN. crabsquids, warpers, and sea dragons specifically sound so nice i could fall asleep to crabsquid noises they're so nice??

the ways the pdas are used for story telling is super nice, and ive always loved the little insights into the characters lives it gives u!! figuring out what happened to sam in bz and listening to all the final pda's in sub1 is always one of if not the favorite part of the games, i listen to every single pda every single time i play, i always feel just as sad for ozzy and keen and fred and the mercury crew and AAAAAA im very attached to these characters <33

also marguerit maida. need i say more.

SO if i talked about everything i liked in these two games i would b here for 3 hours so know that there is much much MUCH more i adore about them and my complaints about the arctic spires and crashing and loading times very much pale in comparison to all the good from the two!! bz is still very recently released so i believe the crashing issues will be dealt w in the future!!

i have many strong feelings for both games AND ive heard that apparently they've already confirmed a 3rd in the making? 👀 didn't look that up admittedly but if it IS true ill 100% b backing it up bc i ADORE this universe and its silly little fish and the silly little people i wanna hug. im full of love and subnautica takes up at least 67% of that love its my whole entire world i cannot imagine shutting up about them and ryley and robin anytime soon <3333

[moonttaeil]

im a nerd and let me explain to you what happened on Wall Street so we can all laugh together. 

to start this you must first understand how the stock market works okay I'll try to put this out as SIMPLE as possible bc that shit COMPLEX. okay, big companies list their shares on the stock market (ws) and these are released on the game.

the game consists on buying shares with the expectation of a price rise after they bought them, meaning that they earn money with that BUT! always assuming the risk of also loosing money-- just like playing with a slot machine lmao 

but this phenomenon is not something “normal” since it is governed by the oh so lovely “supply and demand” we’re so used to see everywhere: higher demand, price goes UP. lower demand, price goes down to hell. 

therefore the purchase of shares itself, when the purchase is done massively, obviously generates a price increase (which is the objective sough when one buYs shares). on this context, the projections made by wall street are very valuable!! if wall street projects that a company’s shares are going up = a lot of people buy them, AND if all of those people actually buy them = the shares will obviously go up. and that's how the project is fulfilled. much of the financial market is driven by these self-fulfilling prophecies. 

the eternal debate is whether this system should be regulated by the state or, on the other hand, if it should be left free to the total market freedom lmao (this last option caused a terrible worldwide crisis like 10 years ago and no one remembers it??? excuse me??? Lehman brothers???)

but Nikki what is actually happening in Wall Street right noooow????? WELL! LET! ME! EXPLAIN! TO! YOU! WHAT! SHORT! SELLING! IS! FIRST!

short selling literally means to borrow a share for a certain amount of time and, in that time, sell it and buy it again. now, If the price goes down =you earn money; if the price goes up= you lose money. let me put this as an example with numbers so your brain can imagine it better: 

you borrow a share for $10,000 for 5 days and you sell it.in that time the stock drops to $6,000 and you buy it AGAIN to return it, right? what happened? you keeping the $4,000 difference!! yay!! if the market rises up to $12,000, you would've lost $2,000. 

this is actually cool because you can earn a lot of money in a really short period of time but there's a.....slight.....problem: the purchase of shares has unlimited possible profit (a share can grow to infinity) and limited loss (the most you can lose is 100% of what you invested). nn the other hand, short selling operations are the other way around for the same reason: they have limited profit (you can earn up to the full original value of the share you borrowed) but the possible loss is unlimited (again, a share can grow up to Infinity). that’s why they’re called short selling operations lol what theyre trying to do is to minimize the risks! it can happen that a company has a catastrophic fall in 5 days but it is very rare that such abrupt increases happen in such a short time.

people are literally betting for a company to fall so they can earn money. haha. this operations are prohibited in most of Europe but not in the US because everyone knows they’re the cool kid and their parents let them do whatever the fuck they want hell yeah!!

okay but Nikki what really happened in Wall Street this week??!?!?!?! calm down kids bc this is where the fun comes around: as you might imagine, while it is difficult to predict which companies will rise, it is a bit easier to know which companies will fall. There are companies that have been falling for years and will continue to do so. these companies are under a great amount of short selling because people know they will continue to fall.

but THEN! A GROUP OF HOMIES ON REDDIT STARTED TO DEBATE ON THAT! my dudes literally decided to hit THE MARKET AND Wall Street. what they they do? they agreed to buy, all together, shares of a company called GameStop (this company has been falling for years ok). this company has been on a steady decline for years so many TOP FUNDS IN THE WHOLE MF WORLD have been short selling with their shares?!?! but these days they ran into the surprise that, instead of going down, it went up. yeah you know what happened. 

Two weeks ago, a GameStop share was worth $ 17. Right now it's worth $ 337.

this means that, if a fund put 10 MILLION DOLLARS in a short sell against GameStop at the original price, they will have to pay now 200 mILLION. ASTRONOMICAL. 

and my homies didn't only do it with GameStop, they decided to start lifting many companies that were considered to be dead such as BlockBuster and Blackberry (lmao I had one of those, did anybody else!? they were cool af) anyways!!

the funny thing is that in the last 24h the biggest fish of wall street have paraded through the media (ALL OF THEM FREE MARKET TITANS WHO HAVE BEGGED TO DEREGULATE) now asking for regulations to avoid this kind of things :((( how sad :(((

the fund that has lost the most is M*lvin C*pital, one of the most important, powerful and ruthless funds in the world. the fund warned Wall Street yesterday (GameStop was at $ 160), that if that company kept growing, they would go bankrupt. and wall street allowed them to leave the short selling them earlier (violating the contract they signed!!! talk about privilege my dude!!)as an exception to avoid their bankruptcy and, by domino effect, the bankruptcy of many other funds. they saved the companies but they had lost an immense amount of money. 

on the other hand, somewhere in the world, there's a group of high-schoolers (the range of age of that reddit group was between 16-18 which makes everything funnier go gen z! go!) from middle-class families, who, from home and their computers, put into the game $100 of their savings and now they had earned around $2,000. and they can still earn more if stocks continues to rise. 

[rnufharose]

Chapter 1

Words: About 2K

Warnings: None. Maybe some violence and a character death.

Every child is an artist.

The problem is how she can remain as such when she grows up.

It all begins with just one moment—the moment she picks up a crayon, a marker, a piece of colored chalk, or maybe a paintbrush. She uses the color red, maybe blue, or green, until her imagination blossoms and creates her hopes and dreams.

And what were her dreams? What dreams did she embrace? What honor did she protect? Well, she did many things, but as time passed and as the Planet was being sucked dry, so was the landscape. All she could see was the green lights, the iron skyline against the vibrant blue sky, reminiscent of an important person's eyes, and soon, each and every canvas was the same. The same buildings in the distance, the same children on their bicycles, the same young couple that held hands, the same schoolboy who fumbled with his phone.

To Ann, embracing her dreams was becoming much more difficult as time passed. Her time in Midgar wasn't as beautiful as it used to be when she first arrived.

It was when she was fourteen years old. She had saved up all of her money and left her hometown of Gongaga to follow her older brother where she too wanted to make it big in the greatest city on the Planet. She wanted to be an artist that would make people smile. She wanted her works to grace the canvases of every gallery where people would come from all over the sectors to see what she had painted next.

While her brother climbed the ladder and became a renowned SOLDIER for Shinra, Ann continued studying, spending the late-night hours perfecting her skills in sketching or painting while her brother slept away, his snoring sounding throughout the apartment. When she turned eighteen, she had been accepted into Midgar University, taking her place in its prestigious art program, but things changed. Ann's life grew dull, the warm and cool and pastel colors that were her world reduced to black and white, and she wasn't the same anymore.

She never picked up the color sky blue. She never looked up at the blue sky on a clear day. That very shade of blue became a constant reminder of what she had lost, and she would never see him again.

Ann was seated in her studio apartment, looking at the blank canvas propped on her easel, the city lights of Midgar just through the wide window with the skyscrapers of Sector 8 towering in the distance, Mako energy tinting the landscape a bright green with no stars to be seen in the night sky. She should have been working on her art project but she didn't feel like picking up her paintbrush, the shades of red acrylic on her palette untouched.

She breathed a heavy sigh, looking down at her lap where her hands were clasped, only to look back up when she heard a knock on her door. The brunette stood up, blue eyes set on the door, and she crossed the apartment to see just who had arrived.

"Helloooooo," a sweet voice called from the other side, and Ann knew just who it belonged to.

She unlocked the door and pulled it open, coming face-to-face with the one person who made her a life a little more vibrant. There she stood—a slightly older girl with big green eyes and an optimistic smile. Her brown hair was planted into a rope braid, tied back with a pink ribbon, and she wore a laced necktie with a flower charm along with a red bolero jacket, a pastel pink dress, and boots.

"Annie!" She greeted, wrapping her arms around the younger girl and giving her a tight hug, smelling of lilies. "Ooh, I missed you so much!" She always said that even when she had only seen her the day before.

"Hey, Aerith," Ann spoke softly before allowing her inside, closing the door behind them as the other girl walked toward the table, putting down her basket of flowers.

"I brought you those red roses you love so much," Aerith said as she took one step toward the kitchen area, opening the cabinet and pulling out an empty glass vase. "I figured you can brighten up this place. You need to surround yourself with more flowers."

"You don't have to do that," Ann chuckled a bit. "Do you want anything? Tea, maybe?"

"I'm afraid I can't stay for too long. I have more flowers to sell. You know what they say," she spoke as she filled the vase with water. "Midgar full of flowers, your wallet's full of money!"

He said that, Ann thought, walking back toward the easel and picking up the palette, washing off the acrylic in the kitchen sink.

"I see you haven't painted anything yet. Artist's block again?" Aerith wondered with an innocent tilt of her head and Ann gave a nod.

"You could say that," she said tiredly. "Sometimes... I just think I should just quit and go back to Gongaga..."

"You can't do that!" The flower girl gasped, walking away from the vase and standing at Ann's side, holding her arm with both hands, her brows furrowed with concern. "If you leave, then I'll never see you again! You're my best friend, Annie, and I'll be sad if you go..."

"Things just aren't the same anymore, Aerith," Ann shook her head, her eyes closed. "It's been a year, and nothing has changed... my world is dull... everywhere I look, all I think about is him."

Aerith pressed her lips together, gazing at the younger girl in silence, her eyes becoming melancholy. She knew exactly who Ann was referring to. That person she spoke of was important to her as well. He was the one who fell from the sky and into her bed of flowers. He was the one who helped her face of fear of the sky. His smile, his heart, his laughter, his dreams—they all became a part of her until she fell for him.

Her twenty-three wishes, her eighty-nine letters—they were all so she could see him again. Through him, she met Ann, and they became as close as sisters, and when she sensed his death a year ago, it kept her closer to Ann. She had to look after her and make sure she was okay. It hurt Aerith just as much, but she took comfort in the fact that he simply returned to the Planet.

She would see him again at one point... just not right now.

"I know," Aerith hugged Ann close, stroking her hair. "But he's always with us. You can't let his passing stop you from living. He would want you to embrace your dreams too. He will be so proud of you when you become a famous artist." She looked up for a moment, her gaze distant. "You have to keep his memory alive, and I've been doing the same thing. If I just sell more flowers, I know he'll be happy. That's what we've always wanted."

It seemed like it was only yesterday when the three of them were together. In his free time or when Ann wasn't in school, they would spend all of their time in the Sector 5 slums or the Church where Aerith's flowers grew, and they would make the best memories. They were a family and their future seemed bright, but somewhere in the back of her mind, Aerith wished she had stopped him from leaving for his mission that day, and Ann wished she had stopped him as well.

Zack... Ann thought, her eyes glistening with the onset of tears. I wish I could have told you I love you one last time... then maybe... my big brother best friend forever would still be here right now...

"Why don't we go out?" Aerith offered, pulling away from Ann and reaching forward to wipe away her tears with her thumbs before they could fall down her cheeks. "Turn those corners up. Selling a few flowers will put a pretty smile on your face and cure your artist's block!"

The younger girl was ready to politely decline, but she decided not to. Instead, she gave a single nod, the corners of her lips turning up slightly, "Alright... let's head out and sell some flowers."

"Hurray!" Aerith chirped happily, gathering her basket, and Ann gave a slight chuckle, walking toward the closet to pull out her weapon—a red rapier with a rose and gold thorns, along with three Materia slots in the hilt. It was a gift from Zack on her sixteenth birthday, and he had taught her how to wield a sword. There were more monsters in the city back when he was alive and he felt she needed to learn to protect herself in case he wasn't around.

She grabbed it, placing it at her hip where her belt held onto her red skinny jeans with black designs along the left pant leg that looked like rose petals. She grabbed her white leather jacket with its red hoodie, slipping it over her black fitted cropped shirt, and she faced the flower girl. "Ready to head out?"

"Mm-hmm," Aerith grinned, giving her a single nod, and Ann grabbed her keys. They stepped out of the apartment, locking it behind them before walking down the hallway toward the elevator, ready to fill Midgar with Aerith's vibrant yellow lilies.

******

It hadn't been long since they had left the apartment building. The streets of Midgar continued to bustle, its citizens chattering and walking about while the tires of cars raced forth and splashed against puddles. Ann and Aerith were walking through LOVELESS Avenue, the busiest street in Sector 8 which was the center of art and business. It was famous for residents who were studying in that field, as well as employees of Shinra or even the rich folks that purchased penthouse apartments at the top of the residential area. There was the local café, the art museum just down the block, the theatre where hit musicals and plays, including LOVELESS, had been held. There was the convenience store, the boutiques, the concert hall, the fountain at the center of the city sector, and just down the stairs several blocks away was the Sector 1 station.

Aerith had come to a stop in the alleyway between LOVELESS Theatre and the adjacent building, her emerald green eyes on a pipe that was slightly severed, a greenish-blue light coming out from it.

Ann had noticed her come to a halt, curiously eyeing the small light in the alleyway, "Aerith? Is everything okay?"

The flower girl was compelled to go near the light, stepping toward it and away from the busy street, crouching before the light and clasping her hands together in prayer.

Ann followed after her, standing above the slightly older woman and watching the green lights release something akin to embers. "Aerith?" She tried to grab her attention, but she was still engrossed in praying, her eyes closed. This wasn't the first time she had seen her best friend do something like this. It was almost like she was a divine being capable of sensing something otherworldly, but Ann chalked it up to her just being her quirky self as always, never questioning her.

"I hear them," Aerith spoke softly. "They're crying... they're in pain... they want help..."

"Who does?" Ann wondered, but the other girl didn't answer her. Instead, she stood up, having finished listening to the voices that echoed in her head, but her blood ran cold, the sound of howling coming from the other side of the alleyway. She flinched and looked the other way, her brows furrowed, shoulders tense.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ann inquired. Obviously, she couldn't hear the howling, but she could see the way Aerith had tensed, her eyes in the other side of the alleyway.

"I'm fine," she began before turning away, walking back toward the busy street. "L-Let's get out of here..."

"Wait!" Ann called out, following after her and still perplexed at her friend's frightened expression, and she bumped into a pedestrian, exclaiming slightly as the flowers in her basket fell to the ground.

"Hey, watch where you're going, chick!" The man barked, and the flower girl's eyes widened apologetically, bowing before him several times.

"I'm so sorry!"

He grunted, walking away and grumbling every curse word in his vocabulary while she stayed in her ninety-degree bow.

She gave a huff, straightening her stance, eyes darting toward her feet before her lips parted. "Oh no!" Aerith gasped, kneeling to grab the assortment of yellow lilies and red tulips that had fallen out of the basket.

Ann dropped her shoulders, opting to help her, grabbing the flowers as quickly as she could before anyone could step on them, and once Aerith reached for the last lily, another passerby walked past them, stepping on the flower, crushing the petals underneath his boot, and the flower girl's heart sank a little.

When he was gone, she gathered the flower in her hand, touching the petals delicately. She sighed heavily in defeat, holding it to her chest, "You poor thing..." she couldn't stand it when people stepped on flowers. "Normally... people are more careful with flowers... but he didn't even bat an eye..."

Ann looked over her expression with pity and melancholy. She knew how important flowers were to Aerith. Back when she first met her, she recalled the big scolding Zack had received when he almost stepped on her flowers. "Not many people see them in the city," Ann frowned, holding her shoulder in comfort while giving her the rest of the flowers that weren't harmed. "They often take such beauty for granted..."

"I wish they didn't," she mourned, lifting her gaze to look up to the nearly black sky, covered in smog, Mako energy, and light pollution.

"One day, I want to fill the whole city with flowers," Aerith continued. "But how can I do that when the Planet is crying out in pain?"

Ann wasn't sure how to answer that. Slowly, she pulled her hand away from Aerith's shoulder, lifting her gaze toward the sky, and she too gazed at how starless it was. Back in Gongaga, she would have seen so many of them, but this was Midgar, the iron city, and there was clearly something wrong. Zack... she thought. What would you do?

******

Somewhere in another part of Sector 8, the train was pulling into the Sector 1 station near Mako Reactor 1. Atop the train, on one of the many cars, someone was kneeling, baby blue eyes set on his destination ahead, the wind blowing in his spiky blonde hair. His hand grasped the hilt of his giant broadsword tightly before bringing it against his forehead, almost like he was paying respect to it. Then, he set it on his back, standing up from his crouched position.

He was tall, with a lithe, well-built frame, his face fair with the lightest dust of freckles dotting the bridge of his nose and cheeks. He had a tall nose, thin lips, his eyes glowing with Mako energy. He wore leather and metal gauntlets, a pauldron on his left shoulder, and the garbs of a SOLDIER First Class.

The train came to a halt, pulling into the station where two Shinra troopers were on patrol. He hid in the shadows, waiting for the right time to strike, and the troopers inspected the train before one of them was pulled into one of the cars, knocked unconscious by a young man on the heavy side who wore a yellow t-shirt, denim shorts, a red bandana, and some belts and armor.

The remaining Shinra troopers had realized his partner had been immobilized, and he followed the sound of his pained grunt, his machine gun at the ready, but another male had captured him—a young man of the same age with scruff on his face, brown spiked hair and a bandana on his own forehead. He wore a t-shirt, protective gear, and fatigues, and while he held the captured trooper, a third person appeared.

The woman kicked the trooper in the stomach, a smirk gracing her pink lips. Her hair was tied in a ponytail and she wore breastplates over her blue shirt with brown fatigues. She giggled and watching her friend set the trooper to the ground and finally, came the leader of their little group.

He was a burly male with dark skin and tattoos, a crew cut, scars on his cheek, and a gun for an arm. His shades covered his eyes and he wore a sleeveless vest along with a wife-beater, dog tags, cargo pants, and a belt. He turned toward the top of the train, speaking in a gruff voice, "Get down here, merc."

The blonde male complied, making a grand entrance as he flipped off the train, looking ahead toward the end of the platform. It was time for their bombing mission.

My name is Cloud. SOLDIER First Class

[a-deadly-serenade]

overall this season was pretty decent. i have some thots whats new so im gonna share them below the cut if anyone’s interested :)

so!! first off i’ll say that there were a lot of things i did really enjoy from season 4!

the action was super fun as always!! i loved all the crazy enemies and callbacks! the skeleton fight and all those little goblins they kept killing throughout were a nice touch ;) sypha’s use of her powers is INSANE her ice-chainsaw?? her WALL of fire?? electric balls?? come on. and the animation was NICE. i really wanna know who did most of the fight scenes bcuz the style is so different and it just POPS but in a really good way? 

my favorite fight has to be ofc when everyone is REUNITED yes im basic. but the THEME song going off and well, im a whore for sotn references and i CAME when i saw the leap stone ref w the winged cape or when alucard turned into a hoard of batss AND THEN HIS WOLF FORM OOOOHH BABY!!! actually episode 9 is just a straight banger.

STRIGAAA. STRIGA. oh mama i was sweating during that fight. mad kudos to her va for them growlsss

carmilla vs isaac was a lot of fun and i loved the visuals but my hype was instantly ruined when i saw her kill herself 😭but thats smth i’ll complain about later.

not all the lines were bangers, some of sypha’s swearing seemed even a bit too much at times, and it was especially jarring to be having a face-to-face death-math with literal Death and hes acting like a naughty little 5 year old thats just learnt to swear. maybe cut back on the fuck-isms? just a bit? BUT when they hit they did GOOD. “the fuck what now?” yes

ISAAC. you weren’t in this season as much but man do u still shine through. i loved his introduction back in the town where he has his night creatures digging graves and rebuilding the city 😭 and then the conversation he shares w his flyman?? obsessed.

Hector chopping his finger off and giving lenore and carmilla a good ol FUCK YOU!! as he helps isaac. we love to see it

Trevor and Sypha’s “I love you!” “I know.” <3

DEATHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

oh! alucard actually having a story & purpose in the plot? :) luv it love to see it. that being said... the Plot. 

its... ok? it’s kind of split up into 3/4 parts, as the story progresses, one eventually merges with several of the others kind of? cohesively? while leaving the other to sort itself out.

now, i didnt have too many qualms with it, it was pretty straight forward. dracula is going to be resurrected and we have sypha and trevor looking in on it, while alucard helps the nearby village and hector and isaac go on about bringing on their inevitable showdown. however, the way the story was paced and some of the decisions they made... werent so great.

st. germain for example, brought the ENTIRE momentum from the last few episodes to a halt. you have sypha and trevor fighting through heaps and heaps of monsters only to find themselves back in Targoviste where they meet the mysterious Zamfir!! and Alucard!! he’s been asked to help save this village!! all jam-packed with crazy action and animation that leaves you fired up!! and then episode 5 comes to a screeching halt and we spend nearly the entire thing on st. germain’s backstory and explaining his motives for the rest of the season

like. imma be real with you chief: he didnt need to be here lol. you could have just left varney as the main vamp in charge of bringing back big daddy drac and he could reveal to his.. idk henchmen or something that he’s death. but u gotta fill them ten 20 minute slots somehow!! he just fell so flat and unfortunately, a lot of the side-characters suffer from this this season.

i enjoyed great and zamfir, i love their desgins esp, but they really could have been fleshed out more. zamfir is shown as nothing but a spoiled brat the majority of the time she’s on screen but they wait till she’s about to die to try and turn her character around? huh? greta is given a bit more screentime but this sudden confession of feelings in the last episode felt so... huh?? why couldnt she just be dedicated to her people and show that u can love someone w/out necessarily being their partnr? i thot that was her whole thing; taking care of her people. it’s like. where did this come from. they cant have known each other more than a week at most dog 😭

it sucks they dedicated to much time to scenes that didnt really need to be there where we could have gotten this proper development, like maybe have a scene zamfir and sypha connect over struggles they’ve dealt with in the past and that has her open up about how traumatizing dracula’s attack on her city was. u could have expanded upon her role in the court and WHY she worshipped the monarchy so much instead of making it a throwaway gag about her being “crazy”. but why have that when we could instead spend the first 5 minutes of said episode watching a monotonous back-and-forth b/w varney and that big burly russian vampire who’s name im sure mor than 98% of the audience cant even remember? 

just a lot of fat that needed to be trimmed so that the actual MEAT of the story could be slow cooked to perfection. people really arent kidding when they say less is more. 

another big problem i had was there... i dont even know what to call it, re-humanization? redemption? of Lenore. like lmk if im wrong but she manipulated hector, yeah? coerced sex to slip on that ring that binds him to her?? orr whatever weird shit warren’s into. but the way they interacted, ESPECIALLY in their first major scene together was sooo uncomfortable to watch lol at first i thought perhaps hector was only playing along because well. hes enslaved to do her and carmilla’s bidding. but no, he actually LIKES her. he spares her when isaac comes around, he says that he wants to keep her as his own. and in the meantime, lenore finds time to complain to a man that’s been beaten and enslaved how upset it makes her that carmilla got angry at her 😭 or says thats she tired of isaac keeping tabs on her and wants to escape this ‘cage’. to  aman thats literally been imprisoned since youve known him 😭her death is seen as peaceful, calm, they even try and tug at ur heartstrings by swelling this sad, dramatic music as the sun rises. really? LENORE?

and carmilla’s death happened WAYY too early imo. she was the villain for practically 3 seasons and this is how she goes? isaac couldnt get more than a stab at her? his night creatures couldnt take a nibble? HECTOR couldnt even be given a chance to do somethng like come on

the resolution was... strange? it was cute!! and happy!! but i dunno if they really needed to have lisa and vlad coming back, but, like i said; it was cute! definitely not the ending i was expecting. 

i’m glad that they put their focus back on what made the show so much fun and that was the FIGHTS. they definitely helped add some much needed spice to things when scenes started to drag, but im a gal that really luvs a good story and even though reviews were raving that this season helped closed the lid on all the themes theyd been exploring, i just didnt really see that. which isnt necessarily a BAD thing, i knew i wasnt gonna find some deep introspective themes in this hack n slash horror-fantasy, its just what can turn somethng like this from an ok show to a GREAT one. 

in the end, im glad they stopped at this one and im curious to see if they really DO go ahead on making spin-offs. bcuz unfortunately, i will always be down for som new castlevania content

[muffinrecord]

Muffin Report

Long Post, sorry! Have a bunch of general updates, nothing too exciting.

Got Uwasa Sana’s doppel! I was kind of sad to see this is treated as a Magia 2 instead of an actual doppel (aka it didn’t have an entry in the doppel section), but I still like it. Having AI go “you know what? fuck you” is pretty spectacular.

And now I only have one girl left to get max magia for: Sakuya. I’m sorry it took me so long...

Been farming labs because why not and got enough for Juri! All the 5* flame girls have full awakening now.

Aaaand after more farming got enough for Yukika. I got her second slot recently so I want to work on her SE and stuff later. Her playstyle looks really fun-- would be more fun with full slots but eh.

I finished getting all the passive Spirit Enhancements for Uwasa Tsuruno (not 60/60 as you can see, but I don’t really fill it completely out anyways). I’ve gone ahead and made her my Flame unit, even though she only has three slots and even though she’s worse than Tsuruno because... I dunno, I just want to offer some variety. Sorry mutuals.

It’s kind of heartbreaking that one of my reliable limited flame girls is actually worse than her unlimited two-star version, but I like to think that’s just a testament to how good and mighty actual Tsuruno is.

Also, I got all the passive slots for regular Sayaka too! I think I might have said this, but I plan on trying to use her next time for the Hundred Calamities. I used Matsuri before but that left me with two forest girls and no aqua, and I could reaaally use some aqua units... and Sayaka is a tank, so that’s pretty perfect.

Other stuff:

Working on the last memo review for the ashley event (basically her personal) and then I’ll be done! I’ve been really into writing reviews lately. Hopefully they aren’t too annoying. Since I’m not really recording anything anymore and since my dumb ass can’t stay focused on a liveblog, I feel like I don’t contribute very much to the fandom anymore, and memo reviews are how I justify my presence, if that makes sense.

I’ve also been rewriting the effect descriptions (I keep them all saved in a draft like so:)

and will be going back later to update older reviews so that everything is more consistent.

I’m thinking of maybe not tagging the under four-star reviews so they don’t flood the tag, but then again, maybe having that kind of life in the tag isn’t a bad idea?

Lastly, sorry I have been quiet lately. Offline stuff is kicking my ass, but hopefully I’ll be present more soon. Thanks for all of you guys’ patience, and sorry if we chat on discord and I’ve been withdrawn lately. 

Good luck to folks still rolling for Ashley. I’m with you in spirit.

[astrologista]

jason stop dying

ooooook i just watched ditf. it was PRETTY GOOD.... i only wish there was MOOORE! watching this REALLY brought me back to 2011 times to see it and i think they did a good job with most of the character design and animations insofar as matching it to the original. (maybe i’m totally wrong but i thought it looked good for the most part... also i just really love these character designs in particular). obviously the budget is not what it would be on a feature, so there are a LOT of places where animation gets recycled and many still frames. some parts are basically a slideshow lol. but i only sort of came to that realization awhile after watching, so i think they did a fairly good job of masking this... ymmv

so let’s get into it!!! 

SPOILERS a-head! do not read until you’ve watched it because i’ll spoil everything

now obviously the thing to be aware of if you are not is the fact that this adaptation is not a panel-by-panel adaptation of the original death in the family comic. all references to jason’s mother (save one mention of her dying of illness) are completely removed, they go to bosnia instead of africa, and the circumstances around jason leaving are also heavily altered to fit the new narrative. this adaptation does slot perfectly into the universe established by the under the red hood animated movie from 2011 though, without which one would be pretty confused when watching this. it’s kind of a mystery as to why they didn’t just package this with utrh and release the entire thing as a collectors edition. instead they package it with like 4 or 5 unrelated dc showcase shorts which makes absolutely 0 sense but go off i guess. anyway

i liked that they took the time to adapt the scene from the original ditf where bruce is talking to alfred about jason! (i do not like that alfred didn’t get any lines. bad choice). tbh i can’t understand why they bothered showing us alfred, barbara and dick if they weren’t gonna give them any lines..... like come on........??

HOW INTENSE BRUCE LOOKS WHEN HE FINDS JASON IN SARAJEVO and just. grabs him lol. hes smad :)

ok so one two skip a few and we get to the first branch. instead of calling 1-900 we now get to choose whether jason lives or dies. there are 7 possible endings i think i got em all so let’s see what we got here.

“Hush” Route - Robin cheats death

hgrgdggr. i definitely think this is one of the more interesting endings, if not the most interesting one. this is also the only ending in which both bruce and jason survive the bombing. bruce is still too late, but this time jason barely clings to life and survives. as a hurt/comfort fan i was 100% on this shit from the word go but then jason? runs away from home lmao lmao i thought that was SO funny because 1) hes super messed up, how is he able to just literally run out the house that is SO funny to me and 2) implying that bruce would ever not be keeping an eye on him after that is just, lmao. it’s so zany. i call this the “hush” route because of the bandages but there are no other references to hush so ok. that’s fair. so anyway jason is now angsty for loosely explained reasons but the most fun part is yet to come.

when talia showed up, i really thought / was terrified for a second that they were gonna bring up certain “events” regarding damian’s parentage / who damian’s father is but then she mentioned bruce and i was like OH THANK GOD WE CAN STILL GO TO HEAVEN. i am so so grateful to the writers for NOT going there. cuz it was damn close ok. im not sure what the implication of this route is in terms of talia, jason and damian being a family unit but i want to believe talia sees jason as a son and damian’s brother (which is how she refers to him, damian’s brother) and not... yknow. i mean. jason raising a baby is kind of like a baby raising a baby...

no actually the reality of this scene is really dfuckin interesting like. they actually go with the “birth of the demon” (forget if it was birth of the demon or bride of the demon. one of those.) explanation for damian and that is something i’ve NEVER seen adapted so whoever wrote this can have a cookie and i kNOW this is something a certain someone will appreciate :)

not only that but the implications? are interesting? so talia’s claim is she miscarried so bruce won’t have to “choose” between damian and jason and idk if she’s supposed to be all on the-up-and-up in this universe but. i’m sitting here like GIRL YOU DON’T GOTTA DO THIS HE HAS A PRIVATE JET HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF SHARED CUSTODY and BETTER YET HE HAS A MANSION JUST GO ON MAURY AND GET THIS SORTED OUT RIGHT NOWwwww

i’m also LAUGHING at the implications of jason thinking theres anywhere on earth that he’s going to go and hide damian’s existence from bruce. because you already know he’s just going to be tearing the planet apart looking for jason so this is actually hilarious. imagine he finds jason in one piece and also a baby. his baby. he’d be like (@ talia) “OMG WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT THEM BOTH u are tearing me apart talia......” BUT THEN HE WOULD BE SO FREAKING HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS TWO ALIVE SONS AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH DEAD / (lost to crime)!!!

please lord imagine all of jason’s angst probably just originating from the fact that he has a brain injury that hasn’t fully healed and the trauma of going through all those surgeries probably gave him a lot of fear / paranoia about bruce and associating him with the joker because his neural pathways are all messed up but after he leaves he starts slowly healing back and regaining some of his lost sanity and thats when he realizes he misses bruce so much... but hes also raising his child... and every day it gets more difficult for him not to just take damian and bring him home and i ;v;

anyway i thought this route, while it had a few inconsistencies in it, was really freaking interesting and it gave me feels and plot bunnies and is probably the one i want to write about the MOST despite the fact that baby damian looks like a character from one of those web flash games in this lol

“True” End - Jason Dies

now if you select that jason dies the route basically defaults to the canon of under the red hood and the fact that utrh does not come packaged with this movie is a rather mystifying choice to me as i don’t think this adaptation would stand on its own very well. like you need quite a bit of background to really get anything out of watching this on its own, which is probably why it’s classified as a “short” and not as its own movie.

instead of showing all of utrh, it seems they took the opportunity to give a ~30 minute recap of utrh with basically entirely reused animation but they allow bruce to sort of. give his dvd commentary over it.

the biggest feeling i have on this is that it’s sad that they had to waste 30 minutes like this that could’ve been used to do something new and much more interesting, but honestly i’m not mad. it seems kind of obvious that this choice was probably made for budget and/or runtime reasons because a short does not get the same budget set aside as a full length feature film does. so they basically took the option of recycling 30 minutes of animation from the movie and dubbing new audio over it.

in evangelion they ran out of budget and that’s why the last two episodes consist of nothing more than still pencil drawings and frames while the characters engage in philosophical debates concerning the nature of reality and human connection. and i really enjoyed that. and for the same reasons, i also really enjoyed this.

i enjoyed seeing the clark kent of this universe. i enjoyed that he was basically out on a date with bruce. i enjoyed that bruce was willing to open up for once and tell clark all of what happened with jason. but what really makes this segment shine bright are bruce greenwood’s line reads. there are SO MANY good line reads in here. and i LOVED how many times he said the word “son”. very wholesome. the way he describes how he felt during the final fight with jason? probs my favorite FUCKING part.

and then him and clark joking together about contingency plans and then they’re going to work together to find jason and i ;_; this is probably the closest thing to a “good” ending but as a continuation of utrh i thought it worked really well. i really want to believe that bruce and clark did find jason in this route and that there was some closure in the end even though we didn’t get to see it.

including clark in this was DEFINITELY the right move as well, considering that he played a rather large role in the original ditf so it’s a welcome nod.

The rest of the branches exist under a separate option where Bruce makes it in time to save Jason from the warehouse... but Bruce dies......... :O

let me tell you bout it... bruce’s fucking DEATH SCENE i don’t know WHAT my man bruce greenwood is on, but the freaking LINE READS in this dialogue had me making INHUMAN NOISES. LIKE NOT ONLY WAS THE DIALOGUE GOOD, NOT ONLY DID HE SAY “I LOVE YOU, SON”, but this man is just an amazing actor. not just voice actor, but actor. he really really really really gave it the most i don’t know how else to say it....... it was very very well done and punched me sideways in the heart and i haven’t recovered and i’m not going to recover. and

ok so once we get past that.... scene.... u have to choose whether you’re going to catch the joker or kill the joker. bruce asks jason to promise not to kill the joker but technically jason doesn’t promise so........

Let’s start by choosing to kill the Joker. Jason attends Bruce’s funeral and various members of the Justice League show up to talk with him and just generally hang out. He has Alfred, Dick and Barbara as his support system, but Jason has some other plans.

This leads to a scene in a cafe where Jason meets with a man who... something something Killing Joke, flashlight, more Barbara being used as a plot device when she deserves better, Jason kills the Joker with a butter knife.

Once you do this you can choose to surrender to the police, or retaliate and escape.

Jailbird Ending

basically if you surrender to the police jason ends up in prison where he can actually attack even more criminals so.... ya

If you retaliate and escape instead you go to the Red Robin route where Jason becomes a vigilante who kills people much like the Red Hood and you get a further choice in a fight with Two Face where you can control how Harvey’s coin lands. 

Tim Ending!

If you choose the coin to land clean face up, the thing rewards you by having Tim show up and I forgot what happened (wasn’t really paying attention lol) because i was so focused on TIM!

Prolly they felt sorry for him what with Jason stealing what is essentially his outfit (ok I know it was Jason’s first, but Tim made it cool) so they let a little baby tim have an appearance :) he’s very smol

I guess in this ending Jason gets reintegrated with the family somehow and Tim becomes “Bat-kid” which is hilarious to me but you know what it’s cute. CUTE.

The one ending where the coin lands scarred side up

i honestly forget what happens if you choose to have the coin land scarred side up but let me just say this is a FUCKED route to take, not only have you had jason survive and bruce die, you’ve now chosen to kill the joker against bruce’s dying wish, you’ve chosen to attack the police, and at the end of that you really are gonna choose harvey’s coin to be scarred face up???? choosing this made me feel like a DICK because here i am supporting jason’s whole fall to madness and villainy thing the way it wants me to and now he’s gonna die HERE? i hate it here.

interestingly enough he doesn’t actually die in this route. he ends up at home with barbara and dick while dealing with the fact that he killed the joker but the route ends with jason saying “i promise” so i guess this is supposed to be kinda sad. im so confused lol ok

So that is all the options if you choose to kill the joker, I believe. You can also make the choice to just catch him instead of killing him but amazingly enough, those routes are even more FUCKED up. 

If you do this option Jason goes home, mourns Bruce with Dick, Barbara and Alfred, and becomes Red Hood BUT with a twist, he’s entirely on a bloodless operation in line with Bruce’s wishes. OR.... IS HE?

Things then follow the events of UTRH until the scene on the bridge with the van and the guys. Jason finally confronts Joker, who reveals the truth. 

Apparently in this route Jason has actually been killing and decapitating his victims just like in the original movie, but he’s repressed it so as to not even realize to himself that he’s doing it.

that is FUCKED. also. i wanna cry because jason doing all of that stuff but not even realizing it ;------; jason blocking it out, because he wanted to honor bruce’s wishes for him not to kill anyone ;______; but he’s doing it anyway ;_____; he’s actually hearing voices telling him to kill ;____; like it’s a very cheap twist in a sense and also really quite cruel but.... damn, son.

There is a branch here where you can choose to spare or kill the Joker at this point (UNDERTALE???) but from what I can tell it seems to be totally meaningless what choice you pick because you end up at the exact same point either way, I think there’s a small variation in what happens after you make the choice but after that they just coalesce back together into the following two endings. Which seems incredibly cheap to me, I mean making a choice like that should alter Jason’s path completely but, it doesn’t! So... ooook....

Either way Jason ends up on the Wayne building and Talia shows up with a re-animated Bruce from the pit. Here’s another fun blast from the 2011 past with more gratuitous Grant Morrison dreck, remember that shit? Well, they’re gonna jam it down your throat here, too.

The reanimated Bruce is the Zur En Arrh Bruce and he’s already dead so this is all meaningless but basically Jason fights him and you get to choose whether everybody lives or dies.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Lives!

if you pick this, jason actually gets the re-animated bruce back to the batcave and they lock him up down there because he’s still pit-mad and the prognosis is not great. but i’m not sure what they expected, he is the zur-en-arrh guy so I don’t think he’s getting better. 

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Dies!

pretty much there’s an explosion and all three of them die and that’s it

I think that should be all the possible endings there are.

By the way the different ways in which black mask dies in this was actually a fairly clever running gag lollll. let that mf burn we don’t need no water.

overall there are a couple of things i would have done to SIGNIFICANTLY improve this adaptation beyond some of the obvious ones.

- the fact that all of the branching options are branched exclusively under the “jason lives and bruce dies” branch is a huge wasted opportunity. imo this is the most egregious problem with this, i was really looking for a more balanced tree / explanation of different things. i am probably super biased though being a fic writer and used to fic, we’re the ones making huge ass trees every day lol.

- the fact that there is no “good” ending here is something i kind of expected but given the context of this is lackluster. i sort of get it though because granted, the original ditf ends in an unresolved manner but it’s distinctly unsatisfying here. i secretly wanted an ending where bruce, like, figures out about the different endings and hacks reality to try to find a good ending where jason lives and everything is fine lmao. like a bat mite ending.

- i was disappointed in a sense that the narrative given in here is so basically simplistic? maybe i’ve been spoiled by games like 999 and undertale where shit gets messy and that’s not what this is supposed to be but when i play something with multiple endings in this day and age, at least play with the concept a little bit and connect some of the branches together narratively. use different devices. i was also hoping some of the choices would be a little bit meatier like you could choose to “forgive bruce” or something cool like that lol. but it looks like the majority of choices have to do with who lives or dies. and i felt like they couldve been a bit more creative with that ya know? being able to control harvey’s coin was a GREAT example of having some more fun with this.

- it is a huge missed opportunity not to have a “secret ending” on something like this. like where. the fuck. is my secret ending for completing everything. come on. and in a similar vein there should’ve been at least something in terms of bruce and jason interacting in a “true ending”. even if very brief. the closest thing to an ending this has is the “jason died” route and then the ending where he’s talking to clark which i feel like was a REALLY nice good optimistic ending as far as this goes, but it comes off as kind of disappointing i guess

there were SO many interesting nuggets locked into this thing though. i can’t deny it bugs me how many wasted opportunities there were with how they chose to structure things but i guess it’s the best you can do with limited runtime. i thought it was really well done though, makes an interesting companion piece to the original utrh, and is definitely something that i will be re-watching again soon!! overall i give it a 7/10 and some parts an 8/10+!

[sarunohadaki]

DQXI/The Last of Us Part II Crossover

Crossover week: Home | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

Enter a fic idea that started because I was thinking of luminerik in a zombie apocalypse when I realized there was already a game I could plop them into! I really enjoyed The Last of Us and, to a greater extent, TLOU Part II, although to be fair I only watched playthroughs of them.

They’re action-packed and emotionally driven, especially the sequel.

More under the cut for another longer post. Content warnings for depictions of violence, death, zombies, that sort of thing. Spoilers for The Last of Us 1 and 2, some DQXI canon parallels, and a potential future Saru fic (though doubtful).

Rating: M. For sure M.

Pairings: luminerik. Some friendships I haven’t figured out yet. Is it possible to throw in a slowburn and have this be an action/adventure fic? Who knows.

Premise: Eleven is Ellie in this, nice and simple. He’s the child who is immune to the Cordyceps virus that rapidly infects a shit ton of the human population and leads him to go on a whole adventure at the tender age of 13 or so.

However, this fic would take a lot from the events of TLOU II, when El is older. I have no idea what the main theme of this fic would be. In TLOU II, it was revenge.

About revenge…

Ellie’s father figure is murdered in front of her, the same man who took away her chance to help the world by him saving her from her self-sacrifice at the end of TLOU. Ellie felt like her life didn’t matter anymore because Joel took her life’s purpose away from her, but she was going to try to forgive him. Before Ellie could do that, Joel was murdered. Held down and beaten to death with a golf club while Ellie was forced to watch.

Ellie must have felt guilty about that— for holding her grudge over an aging man’s head for so long, a man who wanted her to live and be happy. And that just makes her angrier after witnessing his death.

The Eleven I know would never resort to murder, and he doesn’t have the same harshness to his character as Ellie did in TLOU. However, given the right circumstances, anyone can probably break. I just don’t know that I can replicate the same emotions and motives Ellie had behind her actions, or the relationship she held for Joel. There’s nobody like Joel in DQXI as far as I can throw it.

So, yeah! I’ve seen mention before of AUs where Jasper or Hendrik are Eleven’s father figures, and I could see that as more likely than Chalky or Rab slotting in for Joel in this. But also, Jasper, Hendrik, etc., would slot in very well as replacing Abby.

A bit of plot

The fic begins with Erik and Mia foraging for firewood in a snowy forest. They’ve been traveling for years with a posse of older men who keep them around as lackeys and possible zombie bait. You know, because people are horrible. The posse had picked up Erik and Mia when they were barely teens; that’s when the infection had started and the siblings hadn’t had much choice in whether they were going to go with the men or not, considering the alternative was likely death.

Anyway, when Erik and Mia return to camp, they find they have a new visitor! It’s a boy, gagged up to a chair in the center of the room. He has a bruise across his forehead and doesn’t look too happy about the arrangement.

Erik’s shocked at this new development, but it’s not his place to ask questions. Good thing he doesn’t have to, because soon enough there’s another stranger knocking at their door. And they want Eleven back.

Which. You can imagine how that exchange goes. The stranger gets what they want, although not without shedding some blood in the process. It’s not like Erik is one to complain so long as he and his sister are safe, and they do survive the ensuing shootout, despite almost being used as a meat shield at some point.

Eleven urges his savior — a family friend — to take Erik and Mia in, and they relent. I don’t know who saves Eleven. I know Eleven probably lives in Jackson with others who all treat each other like family.

And that’s all I’ve got. The plot unravels from there. The only other thing I have in my notes is obligatory sexual tension, gore, some close calls with the infected, and Eleven’s big reveal that he is immune to zombie chomps. (Full disclosure, I don’t think Erik would feel betrayed by the news.)

More overarching plot

I don’t know if Eleven sets off on a revenge plot like Ellie did in the games but hey, I’m here for that. He has a dark side he doesn’t show the others (Darkspawn, anyone?). That, or he wants to search for another doctor (one Joel didn’t murder thankyouverymuch) to help him save the world by developing a vaccine.

As I mentioned before, Jasper, Hendrik, etc. could be Group B in this fic, replacing Abby. I am so sorry to them if this fic closely followed TLOU II’s plot because that means pretty much none of that team is going to come out of this fic alive.

I DO like the idea of Erik agreeing to go on an adventure with Eleven in exchange for letting Mia stay in Jackson. So, Eleven obvs agrees and lets Erik join him. Imagine Erik unknowingly joining a revenge/murder plot and seeing his new friend slowly losing his sanity as he gets lost in the sauce of killing people. That would be terrible! Particularly if Erik said, “Sure, I’ll follow you while you do whatever” and only later discovers El’s darker motives.

The Obligatory Luminerik

No one ever needs a reason for romance in a fic but by god it was in TLOU II canonically anyway so that’s all the reason I need. Give me two boys gently mending each other’s injuries after fights. Meaningful glances over campfires and tag-teaming to overcome obstacles while traveling together. Give me that sad as all Hell guitar solo with Ellie singing to Dina only make it Eleven singing softly while Erik’s heart shatters into a billion pieces and— agh. If you don’t know how that love story ends, I don’t have the heart to tell you.

(P.s. oh I forgot to mention that El's parents were probably tragically murdered in front of him by a clicker that had heard their noise, and therefore El has residual trauma from it. Might be selectively mute or just afraid to speak around anybody really, to the point that others think he's "slow" whereas he doesn't give a shit what other people think about it and probably hasn't told anyone about the parent-murdered thing.)

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #140: Vlad III (Extra)

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the cooking daddy himself, Vlad III! This build will combine the Brute Fighter and Undead Warlock to create an unstoppable juggernaut who strikes fear into the hearts of his enemies. (Also spears. He strikes spears into the heart of his enemies.)

Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: Christmas... 2!

Race and Background

Unlike your other self, you’re still a Human of the variant variety, giving you +1 Charisma and +1 Wisdom. Sometimes will is a wisdom save, sometimes its a charisma save, so you’ll be good with both. You also get proficiency with Intimidation because duh, and you get the Piercer feat. This lets you re-roll a die of piercing damage once per turn, and critical hits get an extra die of damage. It also gives you +1 Strength. 

Like a lot of other servants, you’re a Noble. (If you’re sick of this background, yell at history for only focusing on rich people.) This gives you proficiency with History and Persuasion skills.

Ability Scores

“Vlad the Impaler is somewhat terrifying” is a true statement in the sense of “The ocean’s kinda damp.” So make Charisma your highest stat for the highest intimidation bonus. It also takes a surprising amount of force to turn people into shish kebabs, so make sure your Strength is also pretty high. Third on the list of Just Vlad Things is Wisdom for an unbreakable will. It’s sad these couldn’t all be 20s, but we can fix that a little while in. You can’t wage horrific amounts of bloodshed on the populace if you get tired easily, so Constitution comes a bit later. Your Intelligence isn’t great- you’re a noble so it’s not like you’d have a bad education, we just needed other stuff more. Finally, dump Dexterity. Those spikes are cool, but they make it super easy to get caught on stuff.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: Unsurprisingly, someone with the name “the Impaler” is pretty good with stabbing people. As a fighter, you get proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as the Athletics and Survival skills.

Your Defense fighting style gives you +1 AC, and your Second Wind lets you heal yourself as a bonus action once per short rest. The secret to vigilance is knowing when to take a break. 

2. Fighter 2: Thanks to Action Surge, you can now add an extra action to your turn once per short rest. The second secret of vigilance is knowing when to bug out and stab people.

3. Fighter 3: Not gonna lie, despite your upbringing you’re still kind of a brute. The good news is this lets you use Brute Force to shove your spear even further in, dealing 1d4 extra damage with all weapon attacks. This die will grow as you level up.

4. Fighter 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Heavy Armor Master feat, rounding up your strength and reducing all nonmagical physical damage you take by 3. The third secret of vigilance is not getting hurt. Just don’t do it! It’s that easy.

5. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack each attack action, letting you cut through enemies faster than we’re cutting through these levels!

6. Warlock 1: Despite the update to your looks, you’re still getting some of your power from the legend of Dracula, making you an undead warlock. This gives you a Form of Dread that you can transform into for one minute. While transformed you gain temporary HP, once per turn you can force a wisdom save on a creature, frightening it if it fails, and you are immune to being frightened. You can use this a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus per long rest. Look, you are a pretty scary guy.

Speaking of things that recharge on long rests, there’s nothing else. 

But there are your Spells, which you cast with Charisma and have spell slots that recharge on short rests. Eldritch Blast and Sword Burst are decent enough substitutes for weapons, as long as you don’t mind them doing force damage. You can also Cause Fear to freak out people even more, and Protection from Evil and Good will help you if you get in too deep with the bigger fish. Or if your bosses try giving you a hard time.

7. Fighter 6: Use this ASI to bump up your Strength for more hitting things. Hitting things is good.

8. Fighter 7: Seventh level brutes get Brutish Durability, letting you add 1d6 to all your saves. In addition, if adding this to a death save increases it past 20, it counts as a natural 20. It’s not quite vampirism but hey, at least you’re not from Ixalan. 

9. Fighter 8: Another ASI, another feat! Grab the Resilient feat to get proficiency with Wisdom saves, and also add 1 to your wisdom score. Mind control’s no joke. Except to you, because you’re really good at ignoring it.

10. Fighter 9: Making things even more unfair for your saves, this level makes you Indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed save once per long rest.

11. Warlock 2: Bouncing back to warlock for a bit more goodies. Eldritch Invocations customize your vampire experience, with Devil’s Sight giving you darkvision for your dumb human eyes and Agonizing Blast making your eldritch spears a bit more of a match for the real ones.

You can also cast Comprehend Languages, because despite being a medieval warlord you can still go to modern Japan and not be horribly confused.

12. Fighter 10: Tenth level brutes get a larger damage increase to their brute force, which now deals 1d6 damage. Your new Superior Technique also lets you make a Menacing Strike once per short rest, using a d6 as your superiority die. Hit somebody, and then they have to make a wisdom save (dc 8+proficiency+strength modifier) or they’re frightened of you for a round.

Have I mentioned you’re scary yet? You’re scary yet.

13. Fighter 11: Eleventh level fighters get another Extra Attack each action. Now you can kill enemies almost as quickly as describing what extra attack does got old.

14. Fighter 12: Last feat, I promise. Use this ASI to grab the Chef feat, rounding out your wisdom and making you a true cooking daddy. This gives you proficiency with cook’s utensils, and as part of a short rest you can cook for the party. This gives 4 plus your proficiency bonus creatures an additional 1d8 hit points when they use their hit dice to heal. Also over the course of an hour or after a long rest, you can cook your proficiency bonus in treats. Creatures can eat a treat as a bonus action to gain some temporary hp.

15. Fighter 13: Another use of Indomitable per long rest? Why, that’s almost as unique as this level description!

16. Fighter 14: Bump up your Constitution for some more HP. Not dying- it’s what’s for dinner.

17. Fighter 15: Fifteenth level brutes learn how to land Devastating Criticals, dealing your fighter level in extra damage when you score a critical hit on a creature.

You may remember that this is the same thing that mercy monk had, and it’s still just as terrifying here.

18. Fighter 16: Use your last ASI to bump your Charisma up a bit, making you even scarier and also more magical.

19. Fighter 17: Another Action Surge per short rest, and another Indomitable per long rest. I don’t think fighter is a simple class, but I absolutely see why people would think that, seeing as they don’t get any new abilities past 9th level.

20. Fighter 18: Your capstone level makes you a Survivor. You’re not gon’ give up, and you’re not gon’ stop. This also means you gain HP each turn as long as you’re bloodied and not at 0 HP. You gain 5 plus your constitution modifier each turn.

Pros:

You’ve got two of the big three saves (wisdom and charisma) down pat, with each save at least 1d20+1d6+9, and indomitable backing you up. God help your enemies if you’ve got a paladin in the same party, because by that point you’re probably just immune to charms.

On top of that, you deal solid damage, dealing an almost critical hit each turn and even more when you do land a nat 20. Adding your level to your damage was scary on Martha, and it’s still scary here.

You have over 150 hp, an AC of 20, and constant healing. Basically, you can deal tons of damage, and are very hard to kill in the interim.

Cons:

Despite excelling at the other two saves of the big three, we dumped dexterity, and even all your save nonsense can’t fix a -1 modifier. Also, good luck going anywhere unnoticed.

Eldritch Blast is nice and all, but most of your damage is non-magical, meaning actually fighting those demons you’ve got your eye on will be an issue if you’ve got a stingy DM.

Not going to lie, the second the undead get involved, your options for joining parties gets a bit slimmer. Of course there’s nothing stopping you from putting Vlad in your game as an NPC, but it’s something to keep in mind as a player. (Of course this only made the list because picking weaknesses was pretty hard, but it still counts dammit.)