#sad uni tag
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finally handed my thesis in for final corrections to my prof !!!!!
#if he replies before monday i simply will not see it i think#he will by no means speak#now time to gayme#thesis hell#sad uni tag
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Halo
#mmm ok lemme just start w the tags then ill ramble#welt yang#hsr#honkai star rail#hi3#honkai impact 3rd#my art#ok anyways. i didnt have too many thoughts when i started it beyond “uni is killing me but i NEED to do my daily drawings”#some thoughts did go through my mind while drawing which determined the direction this went in#which is that this could be a badass heroic drawing but.. it isn't. this doesn't feel very happy does it?#it makes him look a bit lonely#but something about the pose and the red is ominous. like he's unreadable but theres something sad about it#the moon in the background has a bit of a double meaning - namely the actual moon and its purpose in hi3#as the final destination of the honkai and the story but.. him as well#and as a halo. i love that the three major organizations in hi3 are basically religious groups#and AE basically worships joyce and his legacy (!) and welt tries to fill that. i mean the title sovereign alone means like. absolute ruler#an untouchable figure in terms of power and control over their people#so i really like to give him some sort of fucked up fake halo. he can imitate a saintly figure but it dehumanizes him in turn#he even talks about humanity like he's not a part of it#what's left is some kind of creature mimicking divinity but becoming isolated and inhuman in the process#(gesturing wildly) THINK ABOUT THE COSMIC HORROR POTENTIAL OF BEING A HERRSCHER. HE LITERALLY PERCEIVES REALITY DIFFERENTLY. CMON.
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03/02/24 || Saturday
I think I messed up my previous post (checked and yes I called yesterday Saturday sksksk). Finished two out of three lectures I need to do for a quiz on Monday, and I still have a lot of work. But I am going to go sleep for now and figure out the rest tomorrow (it's 1am 💀).
Day 5/30 of 30-Day New Year Momentum Challenge
What methods do you find best for managing tasks?
Mostly sticky notes. I am not the best at time management and discipline, but I usually keep the deadlines on my notion calendar, and I have a tiny notebook where I scribble all the things I need to do (including academics and grocery lists lol), and finally I use sticky notes for day to day tasks and stick them on the side of my laptop so that I can remember.
Also I like drawing little doodles on my sticky notes haha
#studyblr#30nym#studyspo#studyinspo#aesthetic#study aesthetic#academia#academia aesthetic#physics#uni#misa's undergrad journey#misa tries#stem#stemblr#women in stem#stem aesthetic#i feel like i am forgetting tags but i cant remember#studying#this was the one i forgot lmao#side note i tried drawing the skull emoji on my notes but it just looked sad except for....you know 💀 this expression#100
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little arthur malevolent lester portrait because my brain is full of him
#WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME I MISSPELLED ARTHUR (edited now)#I KNOW THAT'S AN ESSAY IN THE TAGS BUT I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS#i love him#i need to make him look more pathethic and sad next time#and more scrawny maybe#he's just too presentable#i dont have time for more art recently so have this at least as my little break from uni work#i actually like how it turned out tho#i need to paint more loosely like this in the future#also ive been staring at leyendecker when drawing this can you tell by the shading on the cheek#and yes he has white hairs!!!!#and eyebags and a little bit of wrinkles in the corners of his eyes#i need to draw it better next time but that's how i see the guy#i really want to draw his lighter too because i've been thinking too much about its design and also i want to render some objects#arthur lester#arthur malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent fanart#poor sad british man#myartstuff
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i love colors
#recent art#art#whenever i get artblocked i do this .but i dont think i was artblocked this time#sparklecare#uni cornelius sparklecare#uni cornelius#wandersong#wandersong miriam#pillow bfb#bfb#cake bfb#loser bfb#homestar runner#survival of the objects#patapon#patapon 2#price tag bfb#strong sad homestar runner#coach z homestar runner
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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who remembers the fic on lolitics where ed miliband sexually tortures i think george osborne with stinging nettles
#just me? okay#sorry i know how insane i sound#i havent been reading through for so long bc of uni SAD#shut up ulrike#political yaoi tag#lolitics
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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mfmfmmfmffmfm daddy!van wi f little!butch!reader.... my silly butch papa && i'm his silly butch pup.... .. taking a big shaky breath head in hands..... tears maybe fell but haha who even cares ss.
#lot yips#losing it i think#times are tough atm#sad posting#frowns#need#yellowjackets#i need to regress badly but am fighting it#van palmer#thing are not well right now#i have too many big things going on i cannot trust myself to only regress for a little bit#can't afford it right now#i hate uni#sad#overwhelmed at the moment#sorry for ranting in the tags#okay bye
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thesis writing has me so angry i repeatedly have to tell hamlet im not angry at HIM or the thesis. im angry that i cant connect the fucking points
just let me hand in a bibliogrqphy oh my god why make me explain things when it sounds like gorilla a put stick b in wormhole c
#hamlet: you have to connect thing a to b#me: tge fact that b exists hinges on a. thats superfluous#its driving me insaaaaaaaane#i cant connect shit all i can do is go 'thing important'#i dont wanna be in academia i want to bully peofs into attending their scheduled meetings leaf me aLONE#sad uni tag#thesis hell#he will by no means speak#i genuinely thing my fuckin baby encephalitis ruined a part of my language system#im so much stupider than i used to be#its so frustrating KNOWING smthn but not having the words for it
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I admire the fact that you like to read books for your own enjoyment. I’m not being sarcastic — I honestly think it’s cool and a little rare these days.
ahhhh that’s sweet of you anon!!! :’) i’m not sure if i agree that it’s really all that rare because people (+teens in particular) still read soso much through different mediums of writing…. and i think those are just as valuable as the standard book format…….
but i doooo also think . that people should read more books!!!! because it’s the most wonderful thing ever once you get rid of the mindset that you Have to read them a certain way!!!!!!!!! :3 and there’s a really really particular charm to just flipping through the pages of a physical book………… it’s everything…………..
#i haven’t been reading much at all outside of uni lately :<#which i’m really sad about!!!!!!#i’m gonna try to read one book per week from now on…. we’ll see how it goes </3#i have so many on my tbr…..#T_T#wishing u luck in your reading journey too anon..!!!#ask tag ✩
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getting to that time of year again where a girl starts thinking about reading. That book again...you know the book...
#she's staring at me from my desk....i am the man i suffered i was there...#reading tag#excited 2 have time to read again...ive read so little this month because of uni work it makes me so sad..did REALLY enjoy sula tho!!#my first toni morrison but definitely not my last her writing style makes me feel the way baldwin's does...if anyone has read any other#toni morrison books and has a favourite other than sula i would lav to know what else people recommend from her xx
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when i back in uni
me think
i do uni updates again
#i used to do them#and was basically like day 1 i made friend she uggo and she basically torture her dog#(it was a tiny dog and she would send it to a trainer and not see it for weeks and she also missgender me a LOT)#day 2 everyone was uggo and big meanies and missgender me#day 5 sm gurl call me Konstantina (not my deadname ir clos to it and a girls name)#day 6 that same girl called me amy and a girl name (not close ti Damien and a girls name)#day 6 again i correct that girl and said is Damien and am a boy in front of ppl#day 10 that girl from b4 called me 'that uhh little boy over there ' we were the same age maybe i was a yr older than her#day 15 i wore 2 binders qnd went to the bathroom coz i couldn't breath#day idk anymore sm teacher called me girl thrn apologized and called me a young man (only positive)#day 24 that girl w the dog spoke abt canibalism w me (also pos but i regret it coz normies shouldn't know abt it)#day 56 the girl w the dog said she had a girl in her school w similar vibe as me (i was still a he) she kept missgender me#day 32 sm other girl v cool asked for my pronouns (she probably the only out if them i could have been friends)#day idk i quit uni to sad i go to therapy depressed want kill self (then i started t and changed legally my name etc#also my mom when i 1st go to uni didn't take all gender stuff seriously#like i was w my mom at the secretary and i told the secretary if could write my name Damien and my pronouns next to my name#at the papers the teachers see#and my mom and secretary was laughing and say 'hohoho but u wint be speak to me all the time'#im not ask to speaking to u am ask to write at the teachers paper#so I don't try to kill my self in the unis bathroom#and so i don't have to start every sentence with ' am actually a boy and my name is Damien '#I FKN HATE EVERYONE THERE AND I HOPE TJEY DIE#the main teacher of graphic design change so they maybe better now i hope#the reason i choce tjat uni was coz when i go there#was btwn 2#the other didn't even show me around and thought i would enrol#the one i went i hadn't said anything abt my gender yet#but the teacher was 'misgender me ' he was say he and then correct it and say she#i didn't correct him at the time coz wasn't sure i would go there but v cool#that's allmost a full vent in the tags
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wishing you all a very exciting mystery murder event!!! hope there’s lots of laughter and amazing enigmas🫶
#sad im gonna miss#uni is beating my ass#cant complain i was spamming tag yesterday night lmao#qsmp#qmystery murder#ill scream later checking who showed up ahhh
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WAIT. PLEASE TELL ME A WELSH TRANSLATION OF HOWLS MOVING CASTLE EXISTS, I CAN’T FIND ONE 😭
#Moss go tf to sleep#I’m talking about the book btw! If there isn’t one I’ll be so sad…..#Fun fact! The two uni offers I accepted will both have me learning Welsh either way!! So once I do I’ll be writing so much in Welsh.#That includes book translations but also fanfictions hell yeah B)#last time I checked there were less than 100 Welsh fics on all of ao3 :’)#Cymraeg tag
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i know it's my fault for interacting with western politics in the first place but it's such a massive and extremely annoying mistake on the west's part to keep assuming that eastern european misogyny works the same/is worse than western misogyny like. the culture of america and the west as a whole is way more extremist christian and their version of misogyny is very heavily built on the 50s housewife/"women are incapable of doing anything but raise babies" worldview and they just assume anyone perceived as "less developed" than them must then have an even worse case of misogyny automatically even though the culture of gender in the eastern bloc comes from the world wars & soviet union culture with the former bringing the necessity of working women (due to lack of male work force) and the latter just. inherently not being a misogynist culture like people straight up don't know that the soviet union was actively pro equality like being the first to legalise abortion in 1920 and always pushing for women in all fields including STEM and politics. like obviously there was still misogyny, it wasn't some sort of utopia/a haven of women's rights but the eastern bloc's misogyny is founded on THAT and not the same christian capitalist "man go work big job woman have 100000 babies" thing that the west and especially the US is built on, like this is from personal experience now but I've literally never heard a single negative comment about women in politics and our president is literally a woman without anyone melting down about it like americans did when a woman decided to run for president. so like. TLDR stop assuming bigotry has developed in the same way all over the world and that every country you think of as poorer than yours must then be inherently worse and more bigoted in every way
#i could make a whole other post on how western culture resulted in the extreme reactionary homophobia and#dive back into extremist christianity here but that entire topic makes me very very sad and it's also#way too complicated so i won't. but man the misogyny thing is really straight forward like i#donnnt get why everyone always assumes women are like kept in cages and not allowed to go to uni here#like even we have more women in stem than america and our rates are relatively low compared to the rest of EEU#wrafs#eastern europe#feminism#idk what to tag. enjoy#sorry this makes no sense i wrote it at like 4am
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