do you perhaps have any thoughts on kevin telling wymack about kayleigh's letter? it's just so interesting to me and i'm so sad we didn't get to see it :(
SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG <33 I wanted to do this justice and although i feel like there's a different way it could've gone, I feel like this is... one of the options at least
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Kevin's hands shook so badly when he knocked on his coach's office door, that the first knock of knuckles on wood hardly made a sound at all. That could've been a sign to walk away, but instead he knocked again. David looked up from whatever papers he was rummaging through to see Kevin in the doorway, and he sat back, waiting for him to explain his presence.
It was an age before Kevin found his voice, "Do you have a minute?"
"Am I going to regret it?" Wymack crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his chair over to get a better look at him, while he shut the door behind him.
"Are you busy?" Kevin asked instead, and stepped into the room so slowly he felt like he was barely moving at all.
"I'm always busy," He answered, his eyes following Kevin as he sat down. "But right now, no, I'm not. Everything okay?"
Kevin looked at the floor, his cheeks burning with an unyielding anxiety that he couldn't control, worse for every second longer that he looked into Wymack's eyes without telling him the truth.
"I wanted to talk to you about something." Kevin tried, sitting forward in the chair across from his desk. "But I don't know where to start."
"Are you quitting?"
Kevin exhaled through his nose. "No."
"Is it Edgar Allan related?"
"No, it's not."
"Is anyone dying?"
"No, Coach."
Wymack held out his hands and shrugged his shoulders with a pout, "So, what's there to be worried about?"
Kevin hesitated before looking up at him. He really has no idea. Guilt burnt it's way up his throat, guilt for what he was about to say, for what he was about to do.
Do or die. Now or never.
Kevin took another deep breath and prepared himself for the worst.
"It's about my mom."
David paused for a second before shifting in his chair, a twitch in his eyebrows as he tried to read Kevin's face.
"Okay,” Wymack said. “What do you want to know?”
“No, it’s…” Kevin sighed in frustration. A part of him wished he'd written a script, or perhaps left the letter anonymously on his desk for him to find later. Anything that would save him from having this conversation unprepared. Unprepared still, even after he'd spent years thinking about how he would say it. But that wasn't fair, and the longer he waited, the worse it would be.
At least it was easy to forgive his silence when he didn't physically have the letter in South Carolina, but Neil had pulled away the safety net of distance by delivering him the letter, and he couldn't put it off any longer..
“I actually want to tell you something.”
Wymack didn’t understand, and it was written all over his face - he knew that Kevin never really knew his mom, and what he knew he hardly remembered, and what he remembered only existed in flashes and feelings. What could Kevin possibly tell him that he didn't already know?
It was a moment before he made any movement, but looking at Kevin, he held a hand up and raised his eyebrows, "Well?"
"My mom wrote me a letter," Kevin started, as Wymack slowly leaned back into his seat. "I don't know when, or if I was supposed to even see it, or..." Kevin reminded himself to breathe. "She wrote about you."
David exhales a short laugh from his nose, "And what did she say?"
He smiled like he was waiting for a joke to come, like he knew exactly what she could've said. Kevin wasn't sure if there was something in the look on his face, but as he felt every drop of blood in his body draining down into his shoes, David's small smile faded.
"Can I just give it to you?" Kevin said, after another agonising minute of trying to find the right thing to say. "And I don't know how I want you to react, David, I don't know how you're going to feel or what you're going to think. You don't have to say anything, okay? Please don't."
Wymack straightened up again, his smile gone and replaced with an uncomfortable frown. He repeated Kevin, an inquisitive statement, "You don't want me to say anything?"
"Or do, I don't know." Kevin took the letter from his pocket, and it was only then that he realised just how badly he was shaking. David's eyes flickered down to the practically vibrating piece of paper in his hands. "Just... Don't feel like you have to, I guess."
David extended his hand Kevin's way again, but Kevin felt frozen in place. His heart was pounding in his throat, like this was one of the biggest secrets he'd ever kept being spilled out, right in front of his eyes. And it was just that, really, something he'd kept buried deep. This secret was his mother's, not his, and perhaps that made it worse. She decided to keep David in the dark, her burden to bear that he was left out of the loop, but now, Kevin sat there, the truth in his hands, doing his mother's dirty work.
There was no going back once he handed that letter over. There was no pretending he didn't know, there was no more blissful ignorance. Kevin knew that handing over that letter would change Wymack's life - it would turn everything he knew about himself, and Kayleigh, and Kevin on it's head. In just a minute or two more, he would be a father. It would change his relationship with Abby, his relationship with Kevin. It would posthumously change his relationship with Kayleigh, because once Kevin handed it over, he would be a dad, and she had kept that from him. But right then, before the paper left Kevin's hands, he wasn't. For a moment more, he had no idea what the words trembling in Kevin's hands said. It was hard to soak that in when he could barely focus at all.
"You're freaking me out now, kid." David leaned forward, an awkward laugh behind his smile. He was just about able to reach the paper that Kevin held, but he hovered his hand over it instead. "May I?"
When Kevin meekly nodded, he took the letter, and Kevin's stomach finally gave out. He brought his hand up to his mouth to cover the gag that threatened to leave his lunch on the floor. David didn't notice. He sat back instead, smiling as he read the writing that he recognised, the tone just like how she used to speak, presumably.
"She-" He started, a joke or a memory on the tip of his tongue, and Kevin knew where in the letter he was. He knew where he had gotten to, because David's smile was quickly wiped away as he froze, still like a mannequin, exhaling a breath through his now open lips. His eyes were frantic as they skimmed over words that were almost meaningless after what he'd just read.
He flipped the page over, probably waiting to find "Just kidding!" written on the back. But it wasn't there, and he wouldn't find it, and the words wouldn't change no matter how many times he reread them to make sure. Kevin already knew that to be true.
After far too long, he quietly asked, "Where did you get this?"
"She left it with the Master." Kevin swallowed, his mouth dry. "I found it a few years ago."
"A few-" David said, like he'd been punched in the stomach. His words were cut off in his throat as he tried to find something to say. "Who..."
Kevin shoved his shaking hands under his thighs, and bit the inside of his lip to stop himself from crying. He could feel all of these bottled up feelings bubbling in his chest, but when he said he didn't know how he wanted David to react, he meant it. That didn't mean that he wasn't hurt by the silence that fell over the room, that he wasn't hurt by the worry that painted over his face. David wasn't smiling, but he wasn't angry. He wasn't happy, or upset, either. His face was unreadable. Maybe it would be easier if his feelings were clear. Maybe rage would be easier to swallow than shock.
"Jesus," David sighed, and ran a hand down his face. He dropped the letter on the desk, shutting his eyes for a moment.
"You don't have to say anything," Kevin said again, his voice shaking now too, and finally he looked up. Finally he looked into Kevin's eyes, only visible for just a second until they filled with tears that he couldn't hold back. "I just... thought you deserved to know. I'm sorry."
"Yeah," He nodded and looked up at the ceiling. Kevin wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand. He didn't look back at Kevin when he quietly asked, "Who else knows?"
"Jean, Riko," Kevin put a hand on his chest. Any longer and his heart would be on the table in between them. "And... Neil. But he hasn't told anyone, I promise."
"You told Neil?" It was almost angry, but more tired than anything else. Like all his energy had been sucked out of him by reading just a few words on a page.
"No, Coach, I didn't," Kevin was quick to clear up the assumption. He sniffed, and David pursed his lips as Kevin tried to talk through the tears that spilled down his cheeks, unstoppable, guilt filled. "He found the letter over the holidays and he brought it back here with him. I'm sorry."
David sighed again, and after a long and terrible pause, he said, "Kevin, I need a minute."
Kevin tried to find just an ounce of something in his words, a speck of relief, or reassurance, or anything that would make Kevin feel even just a little bit better about the decision he'd made. His hand was forced, in a way, twisted behind his back as Neil pushed him into Wymack's office to tell him the truth.
"Okay," Kevin agreed, and picked the letter up to replace it back into his pocket. "I'm sorry."
"Stop that," David clicked his tongue and waved him off. "I just need time to think."
Kevin nearly tripped over his own feet trying to get up. He crossed the room, the weight of the conversation left unspoken pulling him back, begging to be understood and spoken about and explained over and over. But he had to go. David needed space, and he needed time. It wasn't fair to expect anything else from him.
The door had just about closed before he had sighed again.
"Kev," He crossed his arms, and Kevin turned to look at him, holding the door open with an outstretched hand. "We'll talk later."
"Sure." He nodded with a teary exhale. He wasn't sure if what he felt was relief or not, but it was something, as it always was. Perhaps it was just the reassurance of a conversation to be had, instead of a topic that would be buried and forgotten, living on through his mother's faded handwriting and the very few people who knew.
"Just not right now," David clarified with a weak and desperate smile.
"Okay." Kevin's lip trembled. "Thank you, Coach."
David looked between Kevin's eyes for a moment longer before he gestured to him that that was all. He reached for the phone in front of him as Kevin quietly shut the door. The door was too thick and the ringing in his ears too loud for him to eavesdrop on what was being said or who he was talking to. Kevin used the collar of his t-shirt to wipe his eyes again.
They'd talk about it later.
Kevin did the only thing that he knew he could do, and he jogged down to the court. Andrew would kill him for being on the court without gear, a practice racquet in his hands that hadn't been stored away earlier. Coach would kill him for firing shots without a helmet on, but still Kevin dropped a ball in his net, and with his left hand, he fired towards the goal until it lit up red, until all that was left in his head was red lights and loud buzzers, and the bouncing of a ball against plexiglass.
16 with chan pleasee 🫶🏻🫶🏻 make it as angsty as possible hehe
prompt 16 - “we’re done”
member; Chan
The one thing you thought would never happen with Chan happened. You’ve always thought he was a great guy, never capable of doing anything so low.
You were wrong and you hate that you were, you wish it wasn’t true. It’s sad to think about..the amazing caring Chan cheating on you, with your best friend.
you haven’t talked to him about it but it was clear that you were distancing yourself from him. But he didn’t seem to mind.
It’s been weeks since you’ve last seen chris..your own boyfriend. He hasn’t even been replying to your texts at all and when he did he’d send short answers not even a ´love you’ just a ‘ttyl’. He would rarely send any pictures to show how he was doing or called to hear your voice.
You’re sitting on the couch reading when you hear a knock at the door. You set your book down and walk to the door opening it to see Chan there with a bouquet of flowers, all of the flowers were your favorite colors. “Hey baby” he says walking handing you the bouquet before giving you a short kiss. You just stood there unsure of what to say or do.
you look at the flowers, it was a very pretty arrangement of course but your gut just wouldn’t let you be happy about it. It wouldn’t let you be happy about finally seeing your boyfriend. It wouldn’t let you forget the fact that he cheated on you with your best friend.
You could see the confusion in his eyes as the silence fill the room. “Do you not like them? I can take them back and get different ones.” He says in a hurried manner.
you don’t respond for a moment, your mind running a thousand miles a minute.
You feel tears brim your eyes as you look up at him “you cant just show up to my house…after completely ignoring me for weeks.” Your handd tightening around the bouquet. “Baby..you know I’ve been busy-“ you shove the bouquet back in his hands already having enough of his excuses “busy cheating on me by fucking my best friend?!” You could see the shock in his face “Y/N it’s not like that, I promise you.” He reaches out to you but you move away “I wouldn’t do that to you..”
“but you did, Chris. You did the one thing I didn’t think you would do.”
He stays silent as he sees your state. He could tell you’ve probably already known about it.
“please let me explain…I promise it will make sense.” You clench your fist as he speaks. “You don’t have to.” You say taking a breath before speaking again “we’re done”. The look on Chan’s face breaks you but not as much as it broke you when you found out he cheated.
“you’ve got to be joking, Y/N? Please tell me you’re joking.” He says his eyes tearing up. “Please leave Christopher.” You say looking away from him. “Don’t call me that.” He cringes as you say his government name. You shrug and motion to the door trying to hold back any more tears. “I won’t ask again, leave.” You speak in a stern tone.
“Fine.” You watch as he walks to the door. He stops and tosses the bouquet to you. “I still love you..I did something stupid and yes that was my fault but I never stopped caring for you.” he says before leaving.
You look at the flowers scattered across your floor as you cry. You’d never think you’d care that much about him. Before you could curse yourself for confronting him you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.
You open your phone to see Felix’s messages the number going up every few seconds. Atleast you knew you had someone to talk to.
A/N - I’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted but I tried 😭
BABY? HONEY? BOYFRIEND SHOT? Jikook you're too much!
This episode was truly the best way to end the show, maybe even the best episode of the series. (Neck in neck with episode 2 of course) The way they enjoyed it so much but were also so sad it was over. The hot tension all around, the soft boyfriends mood who can't stop flirting and name calling each other with the most low-key couple-like sweet names. They could not stop laughing, they could not stop touching and they couldn't stop being hilarious without even trying.
~
SK Spotify daily chart end of November 2023 :
Jimin
Jungkook
Jimin
Jungkook
Jimin
Jimin
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It would be such a full circle moment if Jimin posted the boyfriend photo (which won't happen). Would almost be like a soft launch of some sort.
Not the underwear too?? Gosh I love my little gay freaks!! (didn't understand why Jimin would quote their 'yet another inner joke meme' right at that moment but I've learned to not question their inner workings)
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Sorry but i have to be pretty one last time and say that I kinda had enough of seeing so much from the crew around or even in Jikook's shots and angles. It breaks the fourth wall a little too much and ruins the whole bubble idea. Ok I'm done lol
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Returning to the issue at hand, the "seeing the beds for the first time" scene keeps getting funnier and funnier. As if they don't already have designated sides of the bed 😏
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Ah the never ending bickering gives me life. Peep the half korean half english talk when they playfully get on each others nerves 👀😂
I better not speak on the scuzzi jacuzzi shenanigans cause otherwise.. Let's just say the photo speaks for itself..
NO YOU KNOW WHAT IMMA SPEAK. We all know that jacuzzi time is always intimate, relaxing and personal for people that's why I wish Jikook had enjoyed it fully without cameras. Yes I'm pissed on their behalf, that they had to film the whole thing with 382929 different angles. lol
His face is literally saying "oh so you're really gonna make me do it huh? if I was in your place I would've folded immediately and would've never let you go through with it!!" 😂
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No one ever:
Jikook every 2sec : HONEY OH HONEY
(I was actually listening to the song while writing this and idk why it's so funny to me even tho it's a sad love ballad)
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They must've loved getting the chance to at least see one episode of the show, plus the idea of watching it together..
Jungkook being so entertained by it meanwhile Jimin being mortified about half of the things that happened. HILARIOUS
HAHAHHAHAHA all parties were concerned if they'd be able to pull it off, I can't
BEST BELIEVE they're always gonna find a way to touch. Consciously or unconsciously.
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This show made me realize that my favourite thing ever is Jk making food for Jimin, then making him hysterically laugh and therefore getting to hear Jimin's adorable giggles.
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"Hello it is I the one and only, the only one who can touch Jimin's head ble ble ble ble" - JK
Jk was like: How can you imagine Jimin without me in your dream? Are you crazy? What is this delusional dream world you live in Jin hyung??
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Tbh it's so meaningful and a huge thing saying that these trips were literally the best trips of your life. I think the statement almost went over people's heads.
I can't get enough of Jimin looking pretty and cuddly and Jungkook's immediate thought being: I HAVE TO FILM YOU
Them saying they can do a reboot when they come back gave me some hope that maybe just maybe this is not the end of AYS 😭
The ending bonus clip left me fulfilled but also sad and with goosebumps all over.
Thank you Jimin & Jungkook for letting us peek into this trip and getting to witness some of your precious moments.
Signing off, J&J 🥹
Ps. So I'm guessing the 52 minute video that comes with the photobook is probably the 3 bts videos combined that they've been reviewing for 48392 months right?
Her shoulders begin to shake with her sobs. “I hate this,” she says. “I hate all this bloody change all at once.”
“I know.”
Startled, we both look up as the patio door opens. Evie slips out. Perhaps she is looking for me, but she diverts her course and begins collecting the empty plates on the table instead. She goes back into the kitchen.
“Fuck sake,” says Jen, swiping at her face like she could shove the tears back where they came from. “Here I am, crying at you, after Evie’s already cried at you, and who knows who else, Jesus Christ.”
“It’s alright. There’s a kind of sad, crying vibe in the air these days.”
She laughs. “Except you, right? You’ve not shed a tear.”
“I’ve cried,” I say mysteriously. “Just not tonight.”
“You will.”
“I don’t think so. To be honest, I’ve been feeling a bit numb in general.”
“Makes sense. I wish I was.”
“No, you don’t.”
She rests her head on my shoulder. It’s a familiar, specifically Jen kind of action, the feel of that soft, warm cheek through my t-shirt and the smell of her shampoo. This action is one she’s repeated a thousand times before, like when we watch a film, or when she’s tired, or sad, or wants to talk about her day, or read a book with me and comment on it without context. I know it will be the last time for a while.
“I’ll miss you,” she says. “I think I’m going to miss all of this time in my life when it’s gone.”
“Nah, things will get better than this. Don’t hold these years up as the best you’ll ever have. That’s depressing.”
“Do you think we’ll romanticise our teens some time in the future? Whether we’ll think about how young and gorgeous we were, all the fun we had, and give absolutely anything to get it back?”
I chuckle. “No. I’ve hated this mess. There’s barely anything I’d like to preserve.”
“Except me.”
“Yeah, except you, exactly as you are. Obviously. I’d keep you in a glass jar if I could and take you all over the world in my bag.”
Evie crosses the kitchen window with another handful of bowls, and we both watch her slot them neatly into the dishwasher. “And her,” says Jen. “You’d keep her too.”
“Jen.”
“Wouldn’t you?”
“Of course not.”
“I think that if you had half a brain, you would.”
It’s true. This girl that I watch through the window, with whom I spent just a summer, has trusted me with her dreams. Those whispered to me in a parked, idling car. Her secrets, she revealed as we lay on the grass under a canopy of blossoming trees. There are parts of me only she has seen. I know that if the timing were different, and a girl like this would have me, I would build my world around her, but we’re too young, and by the time I met her, it was already much too late.
She flits around the kitchen until she’s cleared away the last dish, and then with idle hands, for one moment, she stands and stares out the window. I know she is looking for me, and won’t see me in the dark, yet I feel like there’s a frisson between us. It’s striking and strange. It’s some sort of knowing. We are watching one another with a stillness, like two animals of the same species spotting one another in the wild.
Then she turns and is swallowed up by the darkened hallway behind her.
IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO TRANSITION. THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THEIR 80S TRANSITIONING NOWADAYS, TAKE YOUR TIME <3 <3
thank u, i understand this its just a little hard to continue to cope sumtimes... Like ohh okay i didnt get to grow up a boy... ohhh okay i dont get to be a guy in my 20's either.....ok..........👍.......ok.......
nightbringer lesson 14 FUCKED ME UP in several ways but primarily I've spent the last 48 hours making myself sad over the solomon backstory we got. specifically I have, for no reason, latched onto that one chapter in the Kids event where baby solomon cried because he felt so guilty over being responsible for that spell. and that just feels a touch more depressing in context
2 years ago i fucked up a friendship w a girl (that im pretty sure i was in love with). to this day i think of her and sometimes when i see her on the street i just wanna cry. i understand your plight very much.
yeahhh man im sorry to hear that!!! it genuinely fucking sucks and i would never wish this upon anyone. cuz like it makes you fully think about all the what ifs and i genuilnely dont think ill ever find someone like her again
Crazy how many kids grow up afraid that someone else will find out abt their parents substance abuse issues when it is something that literally affects 1 in 8 families.
Crazy how many kids grow up feeling lonely and misunderstood while there are likely several other kids in their class going through the same thing.
Crazy how many kids grow up isolating themselves and lying to others for the protection and comfort of parents whose job it should be to protect them.
gosh the ambience for big run is just so neat and silly to me :-) im a sucker for distorted music and hearing this mangled version of a c-side song while big runnnig and that sound that plays during the big run news announcement thats like a blend between a scream and a guitar riff and that the sky is RED although my sibling is going insane because they cant get it out of their head that the big run news song sounds like a miitopia song
i read that autobiography cary grant did for himself in 1963, and this part has haunted me since i read it three or so days ago:
I dreaded the bustle of packing backstage that last night, as I have at the finish of every show or film I’ve been associated with ever since. I am always content to stay doing what I’m doing wherever I’m doing it; only circumstances seem to propel me on. I seldom leave anyone or anyplace of my own conscious volition. When the meal or party or association is over, and the people or person close to me are no longer there, I seem unwishing to move; without urge to change the situation, even though it could be for the better. Perhaps death is like that. Perhaps it is better on the other side of death; but I’m in no hurry to get there to prove it.