Star Wars x Classical Mythology
3: Obi-Wan Kenobi as Odysseus
Tell me, Muse, of the man of many devices, driven far astray after he had sacked the sacred citadel of Troy. Many were the men whose cities he saw and whose minds he learned, and many the woes he suffered in his heart upon the sea, seeking to win his own life and the return of his comrades. Yet even so he did not save his comrades, for all his desire, for through their own blind folly they perished.
- Homer, The Odyssey
Neither Obi-Wan nor Odysseus ever wanted to be soldiers, but when war broke out they had no choice, and subsequently proved themselves invaluable on the battlefield. Both were renowned for their restraint and diplomatic skill, and much like our infamous Negotiator, Odysseus was known for his uncanny ability to talk himself out of (and also, on many occasions, into) trouble.
Odysseus was the smart-mouthed, quick-witted King of Ithaca and a general in the Trojan War. Indeed, like Obi-Wan, who ended the Clone Wars by killing Grievous, Odysseus ended the Trojan War by coming up with the idea for the Trojan Horse.
For both Obi-Wan and Odysseus, most of the biggest problems they faced were on account of a foe they defeated but didn't quite kill, who then enlisted relatives to help them take revenge (yes, I am comparing Maul to a cyclops, sue me). And, like Obi-Wan, Odysseus was the only one out of all the friends and comrades he fought with to survive past the immediate aftermath of the war.
The difference is, Odysseus got to go home. Obi-Wan never did.
Obi-Wan is an Odysseus who made it back to Ithaca to find Penelope and his family dead and his palace burned to the ground.
Obi-Wan is an Odysseus who spent the rest of his life stranded on Ogygia homesick for a place and a people he could never return to.
Bo-Katan Satine
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Yandere killer x reader who is a Theatre Kid and CAN’T stop making musical references every two seconds
Tw: Theatre kid behaviour (I should know, I’m a theatre kid) songs from Hamilton, Epic:the musical, Six, Heaters, Ride the Ciclone (and maybe other musicals) mention
Maybe some musical references here and there but nothing too big
Other Tw: probably cringy, I feel bad for the Yandere, LOTS of bad English, oh dear you are not ready for this musicals references (I am not tagging the musicals fandoms, I feel like my silly goofiness is too overwhelming today)
Wanna read more unyandered works? Here’s the master post
You shot your photo aaaand… posted!
Now that you thought about it, this was your first post on insta, and it was a photo of you smiling in the theatre awaiting to see the play that would’ve started in just a few moments.
You almost couldn’t contain your excitement, buying the ticket had been a real struggle, but finally you would have been able to see THAT musical.
You were mumbling some of the songs from the musical you heard on Spotify, while trying to calm yourself down.
After a couple of seconds you heard a ping, a notification, from your phone.
The show would have started in less than 10 minutes, but looking at a notification wouldn’t take more than a couple of seconds.
Well, looking at the phone you noticed it was just your childhood friend liking your post.
You smiled at yourself.
On the other hand, your so called childhood friend was… well, he was certainly not well.
Tied up to a chair, beaten up and, oh lord, were those burn marks on his head?!
Yeah, he wasn’t exactly at his best.
But the guy in the same room as him, who, oh so casually, was smoking a cigarette, that so casually happened to be the cause of the burn marks, was someone that could be considered physically well, mentally… let’s just say his therapist had to see another therapist who also needed to see another therapist after that and so on.
The cigarette-smoking-guy was also in a good mood!
Talk about being lucky…
Why? Well, he just found that his muse, his everything, his sweetheart (who didn’t even know him but those are just flimsy details, aren’t they?) was pretty close to where he and his victim were and, on top of that, was oh so cutely looking at a play.
He didn’t really like plays, but if his sweetheart, his everything, his muse liked them… well he could stand to lose a few pounds hours.
Maybe… just maybe… after this job (extorting vital info for a particular company from your friend) (he was really keen on making your friend either disappear or become his accomplice in making you fall in love with himself), he could wash himself, dress up nicely and, maybe, meet you outside the theatre.
And, who knows, maybe he could… dine with you? Oh, how his mind rode off thinking of all the things you two could do together.
It took him ten minutes to recompose himself, ten minutes that he could have used to finish this job earlier.
He almost got angry with himself, but he stopped before: he didn’t have the time for that.
And so he looked at your friend.
“Sooo… how about you tell me those little secrets of yours, then you help me out with this one little-itty-bitty really legal thing and then, on an incredible note, I let you live?” He asked smiling at your friend.
Your friend sighed.
Three hours later you went out of the theatre, feeling refreshed and happy after seeing the whole play.
You knew you would sing those songs in repeat for the next three weeks.
But, as soon as you were outside you saw your childhood friend with… a guy in a black trench that looked like the outlet version of JD from Heaters.
Obviously, you went to your friend to greet them and tell them what a GREAT show you saw and give them a preview on how you would annoy them for the coming weeks.
They looked at you smiled (kinda forcefully?) and introduced to you their new friend telling you that “They were also musicals fans”.
To be honest, that was in no way true, he, the killer and kinda kidnapper on demand, hadn’t seen A musical in his whole life, he just knew some of the most famous titles.
But he did ask your friend to introduce him in a way you would want to talk to him.
And BOY DID THAT WORK.
You grabbed his wrist, your happy-neutral expression becoming more and more crazed-happy the more seconds passed.
“You..” you looked at him, eyes shining “You like musicals?!”
He slowly nodded (he was in an emotion between the most extreme happiness one can feel, the most fear one can feel and the most in love one can feel).
You stopped breathing for a moment.
“OMG! WHATSYOURFAVOURITEMUSICAL?WHATDOYOUSING?YOULOOKLIKEABASSBUTYAKNOWIDONTLIKETOMAKEASSUMPTIONS…DIDYOUSEETHISPLAY?DIDYOULIKETHELASTSONG?IDIDNTREALLYLIKEHOWTHEYEXCLUDEDTHECHORUSBUTICANUNDERSTANDTHESTORYREASONBEHINDITIMEANITOBVIOUSLYISAMETAPHORABOUTTHEPROTAGONISTBEINGABLETOBETHEMSELVESALONEWITHOUTTHENEEDOFANYONETELLINGTHEMWHATTHEYHAVETOBETOBEHAPPYBUTWHATDIDYOUTHINKABOUTTHISDECISION?” You asked, not so calmly.
He didn’t process the question, more precisely, while trying to understand what you were saying his brain went into overload, caused a crisis and collapsed on itself leaving him with one thought: her face was really cute.
“I like your head” he said, not being able to form a decent phrase.
You obviously took the reference (which technically wasn’t there) and laughed.
“Man, you Henry the VIII?” You joked.
He didn’t understand the joke, and neither did he remember anything about Henry the VIII apart from him being called the “Golden Prince” or something, so he thought you were looking at him and complimenting him on his looks.
And he totally had to return a compliment.
But then another person, a girl you knew from drama class, chimed in wanting to ask your thoughts on the play but she was stopped by him (who misinterpreted her wanting to come to you as her trying to attack you)
“Yo, you got a bone to pick?!” He asked her.
You and her looked at each other, then him, then each other again and you both, being both theatre kids obviously, smiled devishly.
“You’ve come so far why now are you pulling on my dick? I’d normally slap your face off, and everyone here could watch, but here’s some advice listen up” you both sang and then took a (extremely melodramatic) breath “BEEYOTCH”
And, yes, you both started little dancing together the choreography.
Nit doing it too much (cuz you know you were still in public) but doing it enough for your friend and mr. Killer and kidnapper on demand to see.
And he… he was confused.
What the hell did you two just do? Why did you two sing? Why were you both moving your hips? What did he say that made you two act like that.
“Why Lord-“ he started but as soon as he said that you two stopped looked at each other and attempted the last part of “The ballad of Jane Doe” (the part with the Why Lord) even though none of you were a soprano so what people heard were two chicken like voices schreeching and hurting everyone’s ears.
And now, now he was regretting his life choices, as he was cursing the fact that he was in love with you and not with, idk, a mentally stable and not socially awkward person.
“You are the-“ before he could even finish the sentence you two chances song, almost reading in each other’s mind with the typical telepathy ability that all theatre kids have once they sell their soul to the devil in exchange for the part they want to be casted as.
“-WORST KIND OF GOOD CAUSE YOU ARE NOT EVEN GREAT! A GREEK WHO REEKS OF FALSE RIGHTEOUSNESS THAT’S WHAT I HATE!!!” You and your drama class classmate sang as one voice as you both exchanged really full of pride stares to one another.
“I-I’m sorry” mumbled the Yandere “I will go to work”
And as soon as he said the word WORK, an ancient almost primal instinct woken up inside you and your classmate.
And you both started singing “The schuyler sisters” from Hamilton
And so, the Yandere pining over you just, quietly, walked away.
Traumatized and comforted by your friend who was also put at discomfort by your… peculiar antics.
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LIVE THUNDER SAGA REACTION!!!!!!
Because I wasn't in time with the other releases sadly, but caw caw motherfuckers it's the 4th of July so happy drop day to ME!
Suffering - Different Beasts
Who's singing? PENELOPE??????
ARE THOSE THE SIRENS????????? Or is this just a dream he's having? Hmmmm...
Penny I'll jump in the water for you! Wait did he say daughter? ...Ody would be a great girl dad tho, change my mind.
OH MY GOD I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THE TRANSITION BETWEEN THE TWO SONGS OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!
I FUCKING KNEW IT THOSE WERE SIRENS
"Cut off their tails, leave them to drown" ??????????????
Damn, he's really taking Poseidon's advice to heart, huh?
Wait can sirens even drown, I thought they could breathe underwater... although if they can't move, having their tails cut off and all...hmmm... or maybe they're the classic Greek bird sirens...
Daddy chill 😬
Wait, was it just my impression or did the chanting of "Odysseus" sound like the chanting of "Poseidon" at the start of "Ruthlessness"?
★I love how differently Mr. Jalapeno handled the sirens. In the original Odyssey, Odysseus had himself tired to the mast so he could listen to their song (which highlighted his hubris, that was much more evident in the original text) but having him use the beeswax and read their lips was extremely clever. ★
Scylla
Hmm... Not a huge fan of her voice... Doesn't really fit a monster...
EUCALYPTUS YOU BITCH!!!!!!!
Omg, the "Full Speed Ahead" callback!??!
I genuinely can't understand the lyrics, but I know bad shit is happening. Wait, is that a bit of "Survive" thrown in there?
Nevermind about her voice, it's great 😳
★ Ok, I'm very glad I read the Odyssey when I was 9, because I have a hard time with the lyrics sometimes. I know in this part Ody had to choose between sailing closer to Scilla (which would probably kill up to six men) or closer to Cariddi (which would definitely kill all of them), so I'm assuming this is the bit where the sailors bit it or got bit, as it were★
Mutiny
-Ok, I had to pause here because I was absolutely enraged-
I'M SORRY???? I'M SORRY???? WHO WAS THE BITCH THAT OPENED THE WIND BAG, BLOWING EVERYONE TO WHERE POSEIDON WAS, COSTING YOU 558 MEN, WHICH FORCED ODYSSEUS TO OPEN THE WIND BAG AGAIN, WHICH BLEW EVERYONE TO CIRCE'S ISLAND, WHERE YOU NEARLY LOST THE REMAINING FORTY MEN, AND IN FACT, YOU VOTED IN FAVOUR OF LEAVING THEM BEHIND AND SKEEDADDLING, BUT NOOOO, SIX MEN IS WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE???? YOU HYPOCRITE
Why does this sound like a fighting game miniboss battle?
WHO JUST GOT STABBED?? ODYSSEUS?????
"Where are we?" "Moo" 10/10, no notes
"Don't open the bag"
*proceeds to open the bag*
"Don't kill the cattle"
*proceeds to kill the cattle*
ODY CANON NICKNAME????
Honestly, 99% of the shit Ody goes through
THE JUST A MAN CALLBACK???????
OH THAT IS IT, EURYLOCHOS, GET OVER HERE, I'M THROWING HANDS
Yeah, ok, as an Odyssey reader, everybody gonna die, I been knew, let's move on.
Thunder Bringer
★LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO THUNDER BRINGER, THE SONG I'VE SPECIFICALLY BEEN WAITING FOR, I'M READY BABY, WHOOOO★
Is that the same theme as in God Games??????
Mr Zeus's voice actor, spectacular job, chef's kiss, no notes. Also I saw the animatic trailer, and at the cost of being smited, I get it. I get it.
The way King of Ithaca sounds so mocking coming from Zeus omg.
I VOTE EURYLOCHOS!!!! I VOTE HE DIES!!!!
The crew. I vote the crew. Ody. C'mon. There's only 40 of them left, what is even the point.
Oooh, the call backs??? This should be called the Callback Saga.
"but we'll die" FUCKING KARMA BITCH, SHOULDA THOUGHT ABOUT IT
★No joke, I love the chorus for this song so much, I just laid on my bed staring at the ceiling and smiling like an idiot 😃 <- me, ca 10 minutes ago★
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