#rushed everything out while we were hugging and then was silent when we separated
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imtheiliad · 1 year ago
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Why am I the most awkward person in the entire world oh my god
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coco-loco-nut · 6 months ago
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Choices - Part Two
pairing: multiple
key: orange - pato | blue - logan | green- no one
lmk who you chose/your fave ending in the comments 🕺✨
masterlist part one
—————
Choice One: Pato
Logan knows as soon as you hesitate.
“You need to go. I can’t be the one who stops you from being with your soulmate,” Logan pushes down the bitter feelings inside.
“Lo, I’m so sorry,” you hold back the sobs as tears prick in your eyes.
“Don’t be, I would want someone to do the same if I was in your shoes. I’ll be okay,” he silently accepts his fate as you hug him.
“You are a great man, Logan Sargeant. I hope that you find the right girl for you,” you hate that you are rushing to leave, but it would be more awkward if you didn’t. You both need to protect yourselves in the moment, making for an awkward environment.
“Thank you for being a great girlfriend while it lasted, minus today,” he laughs awkwardly.
“Don’t be a stranger, yeah? I need my fellow American,” you smile and he nods.
“Enjoy San Antonio,” Logan closes the hotel room door behind you, quickly texting Oscar about the situation.
You feel awful, but that feeling disappears when you see Pato in the lobby waiting for you.
“Hi,” you whisper under your breath as you stand in front of him. Pato looks at you with a huge grin.
“Hi,” he replies, grabbing your bags and loading them into his car. Everything feels natural, like you were transported back in time, before you left Indycar.
His family welcomes you with open arms, happy to see you again. Pato shows you to the guest room, promising that you’ll talk about everything in the morning.
You lay in the bed, staring at the ceiling and out the window, unable to fall asleep. With a small huff, you get out of bed. Sliding on slippers and padding down the hall, you knock softly on Pato’s bedroom door. He opens it and the two of you don’t speak for a second. He looks incredibly good, messy hair, shirtless, and shorts hanging low. He feels the same way about you, hair slightly messy, large t-shirt hanging over your shorts.
“Can’t sleep?” he asks, opening to door wider.
“No, I uh, I don’t even know why I am here,” you take a small step back, unsure of why you even came to his room in the first place.
“Because you love cuddles when you can’t fall asleep. I know you, princesa,” Pato steps aside and you allow yourself to enter his room. The room is virtually unchanged from the last time you were in it, even if you and Pato have.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” you say, laying on the other side of the bed from Pato. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you into him, before looping a finger under the chain around your neck, pulling it out from under your shirt.
“Sure, amorcito, then why have you been wearing my ring since you left?” Pato says, lips brushing against your ear. You hate the way you can’t think, body alight everywhere he touches.
“Pato,” you whine, moving closer to him.
“We will talk about it tomorrow, go to sleep,” he whispers, seemingly not as affected as you are. He is, but he isn’t stupid enough to try something when you just broke up with Logan.
You allow yourself to settle in his warmth, an old comfort that helps you fall asleep. Pato squeezes you tightly, happy to have you in his arms again, a perfect fit against him.
In the morning, Pato takes you out to his favorite coffee shop. You both need to hash out everything between you, starting from just before the proposal. You spend hours in the cafe discussing everything, both doing your best to keep an open mind.
“So, where does this leave us?” you ask Pato, looking in his chocolate brown eyes.
“I’d really like it if you were to be mine again. We are going to have to relearn each other, and it isn’t going to be easy with us working in separate racing series, but I want to fight for us,” Pato reaches across the table to hold you hand.
“I want that too. I don’t think I can lie and say that thing haven’t felt natural and right when I’ve been with you,” his smile grows with each word.
“Someday soon, I’ll have to replace your necklace, because that ring will be around your finger, like it always should’ve been,” Pato rubs his thumb over your ring finger, picturing the ring on it.
“Easy there, we’re basically starting from scratch,” you smile, turning your hand so you can hold his.
“We’re gonna make it this time, I just know it,” Pato declares, making your heart flutter.
The first year together isn’t smooth. It is full of a lot of late night video calls and Pato flying out to you when there was an opportunity. You gave him the necklace after the Mexican Grand Prix.
After that things got easier, Oscar made the tough decision to take a better contract with a different team. You, Lando, and Oscar spent time on the couch with ice cream coping with that. Pato was signed to replace Oscar, and while you were thrilled, you were going to miss one of your first friends from the team.
“There is one last gift I want to give you,” Pato says, handing you a small rectangular box from across the table. You were celebrating your birthday at a fancy restaurant in London.
“You didn’t have to, babe. This dinner is enough,” a small blush tinges your cheeks as you take the box and open it. There is a beautiful necklace with your birthstone beside Pato’s birthstone, but underneath it is your engagement ring.
“We don’t have to start planning a wedding now, but will you say yes to marrying me this time?” Pato asks looking at you hopefully.
“Yes, of course I will,” you say, a little choked up.
“It is just how I imagined it,” Pato beams as he takes the ring out of the box and slides it on your ring finger.
“Me too. I never wore it as a ring before this moment,” you admit, admiring the way it fits just right.
“I can’t wait to start this new chapter in our lives,” Pato squeezes your hand, nothing but love in his eyes.
“It will be wonderful, because we will be together, forever.”
Choice Two: Logan
“Lo, I want that more than you know, but I have to go. I need the closure, but you are the one I want,” you run your hand through his blonde locks as he swallows the lump in his throat.
“You deserve that, and I trust you,” Logan pushes down the weird feeling in his stomach.
“Thank you. I don’t deserve that trust, not after hiding what I did,” you don’t realize the tears forming in your eyes until Logan wipes them away.
“We all make mistakes, and yeah it was pretty fucked up, but I understand why you did it. I’m not happy about it, but I can’t keep you from getting closure that you need,” Logan admits, you snuggle closer to him, holding him tight.
“I love you, Lo.” you whisper, not expecting a response.
“I love you too,”
“What if, uh, what if I go to Fort Lauderdale tomorrow. I’ll get my closure, then come to you,” you propose, looking up at your boyfriend.
“It’s up to you, but I would be more than happy if you were to do that. I’ll buy your flights,” Logan tells you and you squeeze him.
“Okay. I have to go, but I’m going to text you as much as possible,” you promise, trying to reassure him.
“I’ll walk you downstairs,” Logan drags himself out of bed, a rare feat seeing as how he loves rotting in bed post-races. You sling your backpack over your shoulder as Logan drags your suitcase behind him. He notices you wearing one of his shirts, his logo subtlety placed on the sleeve.
“Thanks Lo, I’ll see you tomorrow,” you place your hand over his on the handle as you stand in the lobby.
“Travel safe, sweetie,” Logan kisses you softly, trying not to delay you further.
Pato watches from his car, feeling like he’s been stabbed in the gut. You do seem happy, and he’s starting to feel like a home wrecker.
“Hi Pato,” you greet him, your voice soft as he helps load your suitcase into the back.
“Hi, amorcito,” Pato greets back, causing you to cringe a little.
“Pato, I can’t stay through tomorrow. I can’t do that to Logan,” you say, looking at the person you used to call home. The one who feels like a stranger and it scares you a little.
“I was scared of that, but I understand. You -we- deserve closure,” Pato’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. The car ride is filled with awkward small talk, trying to break the tension. In your pocket is the necklace that you stashed in your backpack.
Pato’s family greets you with open arms, making you feel guilty about what you are going to do. Pato leads you to the backyard, to the spot you would sneak out to and watch the stars.
“I should start. I really did love you, and if McLaren’s deal hadn’t been what it was, I would’ve said yes. If I wasn’t scared about the future, I probably would’ve said yes even though it would be long distance,” you say, fingers running through the cool grass.
“I feel a but coming,” Pato says as you grab the necklace.
“I’m with Logan now, and I love him. All of us deserve better than being stuck in the past,” you pull out the necklace. “I wore this every day since then, and you deserve to have it back. I can’t move on when there is a piece of your heart with me,” you fight the tears as you hand it to Pato.
“I wore a hair tie you left in my car around my wrist every day too. Even though I’m heartbroken over your choice, I’m happy that you are happy,” Pato gently inspects the necklace. The ‘P’ beside the ring pulls on his heartstrings.
“Thank you, that means everything to me,” you lean over and hug him. He slides the hair tie off his wrist and puts it on yours. You look at Pato, both of you unable to hold back the tears. He pulls you into a tight hug as you both allow yourselves to cry.
The past year changed the both of you, you aren’t the same people that left the relationship. It’s time to move on, however painful it may be.
“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, choked up.
“I am too,” Pato rubs your back.
You spend the night, after awkwardly explaining to his family what happened. They are surprisingly supportive, saying that you will always be welcome should you and Pato remain friends. You tell them that when he makes it to Formula One, you will be his biggest supporter.
Pato takes you to the airport in the morning, making sure to stop on the way there for coffee and a pastry. He even gets out of the car to help get your suitcase from the back.
“I hope that he is the one for you,” Pato kisses your cheek as you give him a quick hug.
“Thank you, Pato. I’ll see you in Mexico,” you tell him before dragging your suitcase behind you.
“Lo!” you practically jump into your boyfriends arms.
“How was San Antonio?” Logan asks, grabbing your suitcase. Pato would’ve made you drag it to the car, Logan wouldn’t let you even think of that.
“It was okay, it feels nice having the closure. I’m just happy to be here. We never really got to have our post-race nap,” you smile. Logan takes hold of your hand, walking a little faster out of the airport.
When you get to his family home, he drags you straight to his childhood bedroom. You notice how tired he looks.
“How much sleep did you get last night?” you ask, sliding off your shoes.
“Not enough. The only reason I could sleep was because of your texts updating me,” Logan admits, pulling you into bed with him. You feel your heart flutter and your chest tighten, like a blushing schoolgirl.
“Well, we can’t have a sleepy driver, can we?” you snuggle in closer to him. Logan relaxes at the feeling of your body weight on him, and it doesn’t take long for both of you to fall asleep.
When you get Mexico, things feel changed for the better.
“What happened?” Lando asks you over coffee.
“Logan and I decided to make it work. He asked me to stay behind and not go with Pato, and I found a compromise so I could get closure. Things didn’t feel the same when I was with Pato, it felt like we both wanted the versions of ourselves from before, but we changed. I’m not ready to give up on my relationship with Logan,” you shrug, a small smile playing on your lips.
“He is wearing your necklace now. It has your initial beside his and the stones were removed from the ring and put on the chain,” Lando says, trying to describe what Pato did with the ring.
“If that’s what he feels he needs to do, that’s on him, Lando. He said that he wants me to be happy, and I want the same for him. Hopefully we can be friends eventually, but I think he needs more time to heal,” you say, standing up to go to a meeting. Lando nods, staying seated as he mulls over your words.
“I’m glad you are happy. Oscar wouldn’t lead you astray,” Lando says from behind you, giving you one last thought.
It took a lot of work between you and Logan, both of you making an effort to be open and honest with each other. You celebrated the small milestones, like making it through winter break together, him signing a contract, and every month.
It was clear the two of you were making a conscious effort to stay together, and it worked out. After two years of being together, you move in to his place, and another year later you are engaged. It isn’t easy -nothing ever is- but you are it for each other. Sometimes finding your soulmate isn’t as easy as books make it seem.
“I love you so much,” you turn your head to look at Logan. He leans down to press a kiss to your lips.
“I’m so glad that I chose to stay, you’re my soulmate, Lo,” you tell him. The party around you seems to not exist as you look at him. Your wedding reception is amazing, but this moment between you is perfect.
Choice Three: Neither, you don’t need a man to be happy
“I can’t, Logan. I don’t even want to go with Pato anymore,” you say, pulling away from Logan.
“What do you want?” he asks softly, as confused as you are.
“I don’t know, but what I do know is that I can’t hurt you anymore,” you move to your bags, packing the couple things you have left out.
“Y/n,” Logan pleas, sitting up and getting out of bed.
“Lo, please. I’m not right for you. I feel like I’m in relationships with two different people. I never got closure from Pato, and I am dating you. And you deserve so much better than what I can give you. You deserve someone who can support you from your garage every weekend, and not have a company contract between you. I really do like you, and I hope we can be friends after this,” you zip up your bag before Logan pulls you into a hug.
“You deserve better too. You deserve someone who isn’t a driver and can make you the time you deserve. I want to be friends with you, because you are a great friend,” Logan says. “Do what you need to do, and let me know if I can help. I think we both knew we were meant to be friends,” Logan steels himself as you walk to the door.
“Thank you, Lo. I might need a little time, but when I’m ready, we are finding an American bar and getting shitfaced,” you say, taking a deep breath and leaving the hotel room. It feels like cold water splashed you, like you’ve been thrown into the deep end.
You walk through the hotel lobby, to the other side where Lando and Oscar’s rooms are. You notice Pato’s suitcase and backpack beside him as he checks out. You slip the necklace with the ring into the backpack before heading to Lando’s room.
“Y/n? I thought you were going with Pato?” Lando asks as you stand in the doorway of his hotel room. You shake your head, tears in your eyes.
“I couldn’t do it, Lan,” you hold back a sob as he ushers you inside.
“I’ll text Osc to come over and order hot chocolate from room service,” Lando says, closing the door behind him. You sit on one of the unused queen beds. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Lando rubs your back as Oscar rushes in, holding a cup carrier.
“I intercepted the room service, who do I need to fight?” Oscar asks, setting the carrier down and passing out the cups.
“Me, I am an awful person,” you sniffle.
“Y/n, it can’t be that bad,” Lando says, giving Oscar a wary side eye.
“I broke up with Logan and I ditched Pato,” you admit and Oscar instantly feels torn. You know you just put him in an awkward position. “I’m really sorry Osc, but if I stayed with him, he would’ve been hurt more,” your eyes plead with the driver who has become your friend.
“It’s okay, I’ll talk to him later. You are both my friend and you are clearly distressed,” Oscar pushes down the initial bad reaction.
“So what are you going to do about Mexico? Pato is going to be traveling with the team for the rest of the season,” Lando asks and you shut your eyes.
“After Mexico there are four races. I’ll lay low and keep my head down. I also need to find a new job,” you say, Lando and Oscar look at each wide eyed.
“What? Just because you broke up with Logan doesn’t mean you need to leave McLaren,” Lando stutters, shocked at your decision.
“Lando, you don’t get it. I’ll be done with my program in two weeks, and there is nothing keeping me here other than you guys. I don’t know if you noticed, but I have been pretty miserable,” you say, mulling things over in your head.
“I’ll set up a meeting with Zak. There’s gotta be something we can do for you,” Oscar says and you shake your head.
“I can’t do the driver facing jobs anymore. I love you guys, but I just can’t. I miss focusing solely on the car,” you reply, sipping the hot chocolate.
Oscar leaves a few minutes later to go to his best friend and comfort him. He hates seeing you and Logan hurting, but Oscar knows it’s what both of you needed in the long run.
You travel with Lando, keeping to yourself and your unit. Oscar does manage to get you a one-on-one with Zak.
“Is there anything we can do for you to stay? We can send you back to Indycar, or maybe to Formula E? What about more pay?” Zak asks, pulling at straws to get you to stay as you discuss your resignation.
“I’m sorry Zak, but I have to move on. Papaya will forever be in my blood, and I am incredibly grateful for everything the team has done for me,” you shake your head.
“I appreciate that, and I appreciate all the work you’ve put into making the team successful. Based on what we discussed, I might be able to help you find another job. Let me talk to some people. If we have to lose you, I want you to land on your feet, and you will always be welcome back,” Zak says, standing from is chair. You follow his motions and shake his hand.
“Thank you, Zak. I will obviously respect all of the NDAs and team secrets. I hope that one day I will rejoin McLaren,” you thank him before stepping out.
A couple of weeks later, you land the job at Ferrari, focusing on car development and advancements. The best part is that it is located in the factory headquarters and you won’t be required to travel with the team to every grand prix. Zak wasn’t lying about wanting to help you, and you weren’t lying about your integrity.
The one time you were required to go to a GP was Imola, but that was due to the close nature of the race. You are walking through the paddock, Ferrari red helping you blend in, when you hear your name called out.
“Y/n!” Lando’s voice is unmistakable.
“Lan?” your eyebrow is furrowed as you look ahead. he pushes past some people to get to you.
“I missed you,” Lando pulls you into a hug. You don’t waste time hugging him back. “It’s been so long,” he pouts.
“Yeah, I’ve been in Italy,” you chuckle.
“Come get lunch with me,” Lando demands, you don’t have much to do today, so you take him up on the offer. Lando pulls you into McLaren hospitality and leads you to where Oscar and Logan seated.
“Y/n?!” Oscar gasps, quickly standing up to hug you.
“No offense, but Ferrari red is not your color,” Logan grins, staying seated.
“I know. But the job is perfect for me,” you smile back, taking a seat.
“No drivers?” Logan asks, the two of you talk a lot, your friendship in a good place. You are taking him to the Indy 500.
“No drivers. I get to do what I love without you guys distracting me,” you tease.
“You seem a lot happier. Don’t forget about us when you are surrounded by beautiful cars,” Lando grins, handing you a plate of food.
“I’m sorry, I was so busy during the winter,”
“Don’t even worry about it. It seems like you needed that time to settle in and work on yourself. That’s what matters, plus, we know that it’s a busy time of year for you,” Oscar reassures you.
“So, any secrets you can share about the Ferrari car next year so we can beat them?” Logan asks, leaning in conspiratorially.
“Nope, just like how I didn’t share McLaren’s secrets, I’m not sharing Ferrari’s,” you shut the joke down.
“Lando! Are you coming golfing on Monday? Oh, who is this?” Carlos turns to you, trying to figure out why you are wearing Ferrari team gear.
“I’m Y/n, an engineer for Ferrari. I help work on car development,” you extend your hand.
“A pleasure to meet you, you are the person i can complain to about issues,” he jokes.
“Unfortunately, I cannot fix strategy,” you reply with a small smile.
“She got you there,” Logan laughs.
“Logan, you drive for Williams, and she’s making fun of her own team,” Oscar says, leaning closer to his friend.
“I need to go. Let’s plan something soon,” you stand up and turn to Logan. “See you soon for Indy,” you say, waving goodbye.
“Indy?” Lando quirks his eyebrow.
“Arrow McLaren invited her and a guest. We are visiting our families while there,” Logan explains.
“Do you think Pato asked them to invite her?” Oscar asks, Lando shrugs as Carlos takes your abandoned seat.
“Pato? What is the whole deal with her?” Carlos asks, eager for the gossip.
“She’s our friend who came to McLaren from Indycar, Logan’s ex, and she was almost engaged to McLaren’s reserve driver, Pato. She seems like she’s thriving at Ferrari though, and she’s definitely not dating another driver, Carlos,” Lando sums your story up.
“And you are still friends with her?” Carlos looks at the blonde American.
“I mean, yeah. We took some time for ourselves, but it’s nice to have a friend who is also American and knows F1 well,” Logan brushes it off.
Logan meets you at the airport, he paid for the flights since you got the tickets for the 500. You are surprised at how natural your friendship feels now that the stress of a romantic relationship is over. The week passes quickly and soon enough the two of you are at the track, waiting for the 6:30 am cannon fire. You both make your way inside to start drinking, and a couple hours later you head to the paddock.
“Are you okay?” Logan asks, sensing your apprehension.
“I didn’t really think about having to see him again,” you admit, Logan leads you to the side of the path.
“We can leave, we don’t have to visit Arrow McLaren,” he offers.
“No, that would be rude. I’ll just be a big girl and deal with it,” Logan gives you a look that says he doesn’t believe you, but you are his friend so he decides to trust you.
“Alright, lead the way,” he sighs, walking closely behind you.
Pato notices you as soon as you walk into the paddock, of course he does, he knew you’d show up if invited. He wasn’t expecting Logan to be with you though. He stays with Alexander Rossi, biding his time to approach you. Pato knew you weren’t in the McLaren employee database anymore, and he needed to invite you here so he knew you were okay and figure out why you never showed up.
You are immediately greeted by some engineers that you used to work with.
“This is my friend Logan, he drives in F1 and is also American,” you introduce Logan who stands closely beside you.
“Weird way to introduce me,” Logan gives you an amused look and you introduce the few engineers near you to him.
“Want to see what’s new?” they offer, leading you to Pato’s car. You eagerly accept, your old Arrow McLaren gear helping you and Logan blend in.
“So, how is being a McLaren F1 engineer?” the one ask as you look closely at the car.
“It was fine, but I didn’t like the traveling too much so I left. I work for Ferrari now,” you say, leaving out some details.
“How did you meet Y/n?” the engineer asks Logan who happily watches you nerd out.
“My best friend, Oscar, drives for McLaren. He thought that he should introduce us, we’ve been friends since,” it is an unspoken rule between the two of you to not bring up the relationship.
“And Pato is okay with it?” the engineer asks yet another question, you brush off the bit of irritation in you since you haven’t kept close contact with the team here.
“I broke up with Pato when I left here,” your eyebrows furrow.
“We assumed you were still together, which is why he was mopey when you left and why he invited you,” the engineer says and you turn to Logan.
“He wanted to see if you would bring me, that way he would know if we were still together,” Logan realizes, speaking so only you could hear him.
“This is a mess,” you groan.
“Pato sent the passes? We assumed it was the team as a whole,” Logan says, letting you collect your thoughts.
“Admiring my car?” Pato approaches your little group, unable to stay away any longer.
“More like figuring out how the car changed since I left,” you hum, looking at some of the smaller details. The car is enough to distract you from the tense awkwardness.
“I see you brought a friend,” Pato swallows the lump in his throat.
“I’m Logan, I got close with Y/n before she moved to Ferrari, we met through Oscar. I drive for Williams, but Oscar and I are very close,” Logan extends his hand to Pato who shakes it, both of them pretending they don’t know who the other is.
“Nice to meet you. You never said you moved to Ferrari,” Pato turns to you again, he can feel your ring burning his skin as you fight the urge to sink in a hole and die.
“It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. I got the offer and took it,” you stutter.
“Can I steal you for a moment?” Pato senses your discomfort. He doesn’t miss the hesitant look you share with Logan before following Pato to a quiet spot nearby.
“I-“ you start to speak, not sure what to say, but Pato cuts you off.
“Why didn’t you come with me to San Antonio? Why did you bring Logan here with you? God, Y/n, you confuse me more and more,” Pato run his hands through his hair, stressed. You take a careful step forward, resting a hand on his shoulder.
“I was scared, Patricio. You appeared in a moment that was one of the lose confusing times of my life. My relationship with Logan was deteriorating, I was unhappy with my career, and then you showed up. You showed up, Pato,” you take a deep, shaky breath as Pato’s eyes meet yours. “You wanted a version of me that I no longer was, and I couldn’t do that to you, so I hid. I resigned from my job, I broke up with Logan, and I quit talking to most people. It was only after winter break that I began to feel myself again. And Pato, I’ve hurt you more than I ever should have, you deserve so much better than that,” your voice cracks.
“You could’ve talked to me about it, I still love you and I always will love you. Even the new version of you,” Pato says and you feel the frustration grow in you.
“Patricio O’Ward, listen to me! I am happy. Happier than I’ve been in a while, and you need to understand that. You aren’t Logan, we can’t just be friends after spending time apart. Maybe you are that one true love, but I am happy with my life right now. You aren’t going to leave Indycar and move to Maranello, and I’m not quitting my job for you. It’s time for you to move on,” you say firmly, needing to stop Pato’s begging.
“I’m sorry. I guess I’m not as ready to let go. I’ll take you back,” he says after a few seconds, processing your words. You talk with the engineers as Pato stands beside Logan.
“Take care of her for me. I know she’s a strong woman, but not all of us are lucky enough to remain friends with her after dating her,” Pato says, watching you with a longing look.
“She never needed a man, and she doesn’t now. Y/n is going to do amazing things,” Logan looks at you with a particular fondness, one that admires his friend being nerdy about engineering.
Logan is right, and as you advance in your career, you attend more races, but you don’t feel as out of place. You secretly helped Logan improve his driving from an engineering perspective, and you watched as Pato replaced Oscar when Oscar went to another team.
You chose your career over men, and you were better off for it, you are happier and more confident in yourself than you ever have been.
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valiantroeagleangel · 1 year ago
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Lover boy.
Will Ramos x female reader.
A fluffy drabble with a clingy Will.
Tag list: @circle-with-me @malice-ov-mercy @darkhallcorner @loeytuan98 @witchyweeb34 (oh and since it seems that I have a problem with the tag list, could you tell me guys if it's working for you please 🥲)
From the following request from one adorable anon.
"Anyways, Will has this super adorable needy puppy energy that has me melting, and no one can convince me otherwise. So I was thinking: post tour Will, being eXtrA needy, needing cuddles and being touched 24/7, demands kisses and hugs all the time…you can make it just fluffy sweet or you can add smut too, whatever your beautiful heart and mind desires."
Decided to keep this one fluffy because it cannot hurt, let's just soothe our hearts.
I'm sorry it is quite short but just felt like writing some fluffy drabble even if I am emotionally constipated as a person. And don't have much time for myself lately so I just try to write every time I can, which is not often. I hope you'll like it nonetheless.
Don't worry you'll have some needy Will smut on the next one. 🫡
Love you.
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Three months was a long time. You did not expect it to feel that unpleasant but now that you were standing in front of the arrival terminal at the airport even the seconds that passed seemed unbearable. Everything slowed down, you kept checking your phone hoping for a sign of life from Will but nothing came. The screen on the wall was displaying all the landings and his plane was discharged. He could be here at any moment but the more people passed in front of you the more your heart raced at the absence of signs from his little curly-haired head.
Anxious, you started to roam into the small room to calm your nerves down. You did not hear about any kind of accident, he was surely fine, maybe stuck at customs. Yeah, he was probably fine but your mind could not calm down until you saw a short figure burst into your direction, Will rushing to you the second he noticed you.
Not expecting him after all this wait you awkwardly opened your arms, Will settling himself between them as he hugged you tightly, lifting you in a quick motion.
-God, I missed you. He squeezed you even harder, his head losing itself in the crook of your neck.
You hugged him back, taking time to appreciate his scent that you missed so much, murmuring a quick "Me too" as you let go in his embrace.
Eventually, after some point, you tried to let go of him, the rest of the band just behind him. Still, he did not separate himself from you, his arms still strongly surrounding your waist as he hugged you from behind, swinging you from left to right, his head resting on your shoulder.
-Will, you'll have to let go of me if you want to go home one day.
You joked, half-joked actually, and you heard Austin make fun of you in the back.
-Yeah, do you guys plan to make out in the middle of the hall or can we go?
Will groaned when you started to shift in his arms, unhappily freeing you so he could go grab his bag and follow your steps.
Still, he followed you closely everywhere, his hand on your lower back as you all tried to somehow carry the bags to the car. The rest of the guys were a few steps ahead, letting you have some intimacy as they knew that Will could just bark at them for cock blocking him. Well, they weren't cock blocking anything since you guys were definitely not going to have sex now but in Will's head it was in a way.
His lips tried to kiss your temple while you walked through the airport, which was incredibly difficult but it did not make him back up. He was maybe short but he had a strong will, desperately looking for some contact with you.
You proposed to drive the guys home but they all declined, telling you that they could deal with that themselves. Giving some kind of pressing look to Will as they silently told you that he wouldn’t let it go.
So eventually each one of them got back to their house mysteriously.
Will seemed to have calmed down a bit in the car, his hand rested on your knee as you drove his tired figure back home.
But once you got to the front door of your house Will immediately attached himself back to you, lifting you off your feet as he slammed the door open, immediately throwing you on the couch with him, his head dipping again in your neck.
You sighed gently, brushing your fingers through his tangled hair. Will humming against your skin.
-Alright lover boy, are you going to let me breathe or not?
-Fuck no, I'll suffocate you.
You chuckled and he hugged you harder, his lips looking for your urgently.
The rest of the evening went the same way. Will's weight was heavy on you as his head rested on your stomach, both of you lying down. You, focusing on one of your books and Will, focusing mindlessly on his phone. He kept glaring at you every other minute, hoping for a move from you but you only continued to read, enjoying the peaceful evening as his body was heating yours. It was much better than all these lonely and cold nights you spent lately.
Getting impatient, Will moved his head to fully look at your face, his pointy chin stabbing your stomach.
-Looooove. He called dramatically to finally earn a look from you.
You smiled at him, one of your hands leaving your book to stroke his hair again, knowing how much he liked it.
-Yes? Your voice was as soft as the look you were giving him, waiting for him to continue his speech.
-Come on is the book really that great? You've been on it for hours!
You looked back to the paper between your hands, considering his sentence for a few seconds.
-Yes. Just to tease him a little you ignored his presence again, your eyes focusing on the pages in front of you as your hand abandoned his hair.
You heard him groan and it made you hide your chuckle. He was really so easy to get.
So just for a bit, you continued to read, totally ignoring Will's protests on your stomach. Well, at least you tried. But with the time he got slightly more pressing. The hands he had under your body came to grab your waist, passing through your shirt as he lifted it a little, his lips peppering kisses on your belly's skin.
Pulling you under him he finally made you look away from your book, receiving an arched brow as you were now at the same height, his face just above yours.
-Come on what is this? He pushed your book down, looking at the title. This sucks, why are you reading it?
You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to conceal another smile.
-It does not suck. It's a great book, you should read some sometimes you know.
-Yeah right, I'm sure you'll be pleased when I'll ignore you for some kind of... He paused, frowning at the cover. What is it? Faerie porn again?
This time you couldn't refrain your laughter at his visibly confused and upset expression.
-It is not porn! You tried to defend yourself but it was too late, Will had made up his mind.
-It better not be because I'll be really offended. He pouted his face leaning to yours in hope for a kiss.
You only pecked at his lips, deciding that you had not played with him enough for tonight. You had missed this so much that you could treat yourself a little.
-Let me finish this chapter, alright?
He groaned at you again but settled down for a bit, his head now resting on your chest, making you raise your arms to be able to read something.
But when you thought he had given up he started to call you every few minutes. "Have you finished?", "And now?", "Still not done?", "Come on the chapter is a hundred pages or what?".
You sighed, gently hitting the top of his head with the hardcover.
-It would be faster if you just shut up.
His eyes widened and he stood up, surprising you.
-Fuck it. You're not reading this anymore.
Ripping the book from your hands he threw it on the floor in the second, making it hit the ground in a loud muffled sound.
-Nooo my page!
-Don't care, you should have been faster.
At these words he threw himself back on you, his hands finding your waist again. Lowering your gaze you stared at him while he leaned on, kissing you gently.
-You had three months to read, now the book can go to hell. I don't care.
He continued his motions, his lips lowering themselves to kiss your jaw and then your neck. Quickly your hands found their way back to his hair, as usual.
-It had kittens you know. You tilted your head back, letting him have more access to your skin.
-I don't care. He grunted in the crook of the neck and you tugged his hair.
You smiled, tucking your lower lips between your teeth.
-Who are you and what have you done to my man?
You felt him smirk as he sucked softly on your skin.
-I love you more than I love cats you know.
-Yeah sometimes I doubt that...
You both laughed and his lips came to yours again, engaging a deeper kiss than before, a smirk still plastered on his face now that he had your attention all for himself.
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chronicallyuniconic · 2 years ago
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Why we need to stop blaming survivors who take years to come forward:
*TW: Childhood Sexual Abuse*
[In light of Kevin Spacey being in court, I'm seeing alot of horrible discourse & I just want to add my exp so I don't scream profanities].
It takes years to report for so many reasons and I'm here to describe my personal experience, and just why it took so long to come forward. Only now 25 years after it started, am I able to write about it with some clarity instead of confusion.
I was just a child when it happened, in my formative years, considered one of the most important times for a developing child. I did not know, not fully anyway, how wrong it was, what happened to me, that it was a crime.
The person who did it, was fully known to everyone around me, and everyone loved (and still love) that version of the person they knew/know.
From about age 6, I was silently questioning if I'd dreamt it multiple times, or maybe what happened to me was just something that was supposed to take place. Did every _____ do this? Does every daughter have this happen to them? Is it all children my age maybe? I just couldn't make sense of it. In some ways, I still can't.
I didnt know the word pornography at such a young age, but the magazines my abuser would leave for me to find, left me confused, what are those people doing?
As I chug into my teenage years with these mixed memories, feelings, and now hormones, I spend more time with a friend, my best friend and later became my first girlfriend at 14. She had a similar thing happen to her too, multiple times just like me, except when she told a teacher she was taken from her mother and sister, into foster care. And that's how our relationship ended.
I didn't want to be separated from my younger sibling, of which we are immensely close. I have to protect this from happening to them, to us. A month later, I find out I'm going to be welcoming another sibling in 6 months. I sobbed at the thought of another sibling having to endure what I had, I have a baby to protect soon and it's not mine. I spent my teenage years with them as much as I could.
It wasn't until I turned 17, I realise the predator living around me, is only into girls. They continue watching me through cracks in the door, walking in when I'm in the bathroom doing anything, secretly going through my phone, taking me for driving lessons, keeping up work in the community, all the while dropping towel when I walk past the bedroom.
Somehow, I kept my wits about me, and at 18 left 300 miles in the opposite direction to University. My sibling could protect themselves now too. I had to say goodbye to my mum, she was still involved with him.
After 10 weeks at University, I was alone and isolated, I struggled to make friends, noone on my course lived anywhere near me. I was suggested to go to the University counsellor, where after 12 weeks, I had told her more or less everything.
It took me another 2 years and a failed relationship to summon the courage to ring the police, and now also explain why it had taken me so long and why would I go on driving lessons with the man that did this to me? And even now looking back, there were things I'd left out in my report. Because repressed memories really do exist and they're still affecting me to this day.
If you have ever felt the rushing wave of a memory you never had before, suddenly appear, I'm giving you such a big hug, because it's awful. It's like drowning where you stand and I've spent too long questioning my reality.
The next time you wonder why it took someone so long to speak up, it's not just about that. It takes years of mental torture and so much silent work to undo damage that should have never been there in the first place.
Standing with the men who are speaking up💜
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i-me-mine · 2 years ago
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As time goes by | Chapter 4: Failure
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Pairings: Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Word Count: 4.2k
Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next chapter | AO3
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“So, are we really doing this, or not?” says Eddie, with a mischievous, devastating smile on his face. 
You both were huddled under a tree, trying to stay away from the eyes of others while you surveyed the house in front of you. It had tall windows and a wide, wraparound porch, the yard overgrown and unkempt, showing that its owners had been away from it for quite a long time. 
“There is no one looking now; let’s go,” you said, picking the bobby pins out of your pocket, ready to start working on the lock. 
Sure, why not try to break into an empty house just for the challenge of it? This was one of the ideas that came out of nowhere in the middle of a conversation - finding a different place to hang out, including a bit of an adrenaline rush, seemed too tempting to let it pass. 
Eddie kept watch, his eyes darting back and forth nervously while you approached the main door, ready to start picking the lock, but it was not needed - you gave a triumphant cry and turned to tell him, “It wasn’t even locked” as you opened the door.
You two slip inside, closing the door behind you. You move quietly through the house, your footsteps muffled by the thick carpet, signaling to each other - Eddie will check the upper floor while you check the main one. Once you confirm that everything is ok, you make your way to the living room, opening your backpack to take the snacks and the six-pack of beers you brought.
“And that’s the kind of shitty things they have here…” Eddie enters the room, and you laugh upon seeing that he is wearing a top hat. “This is for you, sweetheart,” he says, tossing something at you. 
You catch and open it, seeing that it’s a silk robe. “Do you want me to wear it?”
“C’mon, I bet it will look good on you… you can wear it over your clothes, but if you want to undress and wear only it…” he smiles while raising his hands as if saying, “I wouldn’t mind.” 
A few beers later, you both sing loudly while Eddie is jumping on the couch. You are then interrupted by knocks on the door and by the voice of Officer Powell “Hawkins PD, come out, or we are getting in” 
Eddie stares at you with wide eyes. You take off the robe and extend your hand to him. “C’mon, Eddie, we have to go.” He freezes in place, so you grab his hand and pull him. “Let’s go, NOW!” 
He picks up your backpack with his free hand while you guide him through the corridors. You are rushing to the back door, hoping to be able to make your escape there, while Eddie is constantly looking back to see if you are being followed. 
You both leave the house, and you feel Eddie bumping into you as you stop. Officer Callahan is looking straight at you, saying, “Look who we have here…”
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The ride to the police station is silent. The car seat is hard and uncomfortable, and the metal partition separating you from the officers does not appeal to you to engage in conversation. Thankfully Callahan did not make any of you wear handcuffs or any other restraints; he never does. You hold your hand without looking at Eddie, and your hands find each other, fingers intertwined.  
As you enter the station, you see Florence, the secretary, coming your way. “Hi, Flo,” you murmur. She looks worried, and you know that she genuinely cares about you. She knew and cared for your mother before you were even born, and when you were suffering from the loss of your mother, she also tried her best to comfort you, and you would always be grateful for that. 
“What happened this time, dear?” she asks maternally, hugging you.  
“The usual, you know…” you reply evasively, not wanting to go into details, giving her a one-arm hug as you still hold Eddie’s hand. You don’t see it, but she gives him a disapproving look that makes him let go of your hand while quietly saying “Madam” while lowering his head.  
One door slams open, and Chief of Police Jim Hopper storms out. “What is going on? I just wanted some time in peace before heading home!”  
You and Eddie look at each other; Hopper is not in a good mood. He then sees you and lets out a long sigh. “Not the double trouble again! Why does almost every problem here have to involve the both of you?” 
You try to repress a laugh and fail miserably, making Hopper angrier. Officer Powell is whispering to Hopper, and you are sure he is updating him about what happened. “To my office, NOW!” Hopper screams.
You don’t remember exactly how the nickname “Double trouble” started - only that when you got to know each other while kids and began to go into every kind of trouble together, people started calling you like that. The nickname stuck through the years, as you both never stopped misbehaving.
You got into your seat in the office, seeing Hopper looking at you accusingly. “Hey, chief,” you both said together, trying to ease the room’s tension, but it sounded as if you were making fun of the situation, so you went quiet.
“So you were caught by the officers right out of the house?” 
“Yes. That is correct.” Eddie replied calmly. You could never quite mimic the flow of his perfect, formal articulation that he puts up during the initial interactions with authorities. 
“Trespassing, really? What am I going to do with you?” 
“In our defense, the house was empty; there was no sign of ���No entry’…” you try to argue.
“Yes, the door was already open; she didn’t even have to lockp-” Eddie says, cutting the phrase in the middle as you pinch him, as you didn’t want him to speak about your lockpicking skills to Hopper. 
“Do you know the concept of private property? Or respecting boundaries?” Hopper starts, and you see that Eddie wants to reply, and you pinch him again. 
You’ve been there before; you know that you and Eddie will have to sit through a long lecture about what you should and shouldn’t do from Hopper, and to stay quiet is the best approach. Then, after a while, he concludes:
“I think you both need to learn that actions have consequences, or this will never stop. I can’t let you continue like that. Maybe staying here for a while, until your guardians come to bail you out, would do good.” 
“Please, sir, no… Wayne is working, he needs to rest, he doesn’t need to get involved,” Eddie pleads in a humble voice.
Hopper rolls his eyes. Edward Munson is a nightmare, always giving him all sorts of troubles, but he knows that Wayne is a good man. “You should have thought about it before.”
“I hope you have space and food to keep me for a long time. You know my father is not coming for me.” you interrupt. 
Hopper sighs while looking at you. He was angry with you both, but the truth is that he felt pity for you. He remembers coming back to Hawkins years ago, devastated for losing his dear Sara and finding you, a kid that had just lost a mother and had to live with a drunk father that didn’t even care about you. It was unfair, he wanted to help you somehow, but he didn’t know how. The years passed, and he felt that he had missed the opportunity. And while he believes Eddie is a bad influence, he also knows that the Munsons are more family to you than your own, and they did more for you than he could. 
“C’mon kids, what are you going to do with all the problems you are causing?
“I can fix them!” you replied while Eddie said, “I can make them worse!”
Hopper closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, before starting again. “I need you to think about the future. You won’t be kids forever.” 
“I’m going to my senior year, sir. If I keep my grades, maybe I’ll be able to get some financial aid for college. In some months, I’ll be filling out my college applications, but what would happen if they review my records and find one from the Hawkins police department? It would hurt my chances… please don’t do it, I beg you.” You reason, trying to convince Hopper to let this go.
Hopper looked at Eddie, waiting for some form of defense, an act of disrespect, anything, but he was quiet and looking down at his hands in his lap. “Grow up, Munson. If you are going to be just like your father, don’t drag her down with you, she deserves better.”
Hopper gets up and says, “I’m personally taking you both home, and I’ll have a little conversation with the grown-ups there. I’ll get my keys, be right back.” 
You looked at Eddie, and he was quiet, sad. You ruffle his hair, saying, “Don’t listen to him, we can make each other worse, and everything will be fine.”. He laughs but stops when Hopper opens the door and signs you to follow him to the car. 
You ask to go to the washroom first. When you enter, you find Flo there. “My dear, you should be more careful. I don’t want you and your boyfriend to have problems.”
“He is not my boyfriend, Flo,” you reply - you know that you should ease her concerns, but the need to clarify the boyfriend assumption, as much as it hurts you, had priority.
“But there is love, dear. The eyes kiss way before the lips,” she says with a warm smile before leaving. 
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You are still thinking about Flo’s words when you leave the station to meet Eddie and Hopper. You see that the back door of his Chevy Blazer is open. “What, you are driving us home in this?”
“Two little criminals like you don’t deserve comfort. Get in!” While you and Eddie try to settle in, he closes the door and goes to the driver’s seat. 
“Look at you… You are a menace to society - that’s why I love you,” Eddie says, making your heart flutter. You laugh and nudge him with your shoulder. 
When you arrive at the trailer park, you see Wayne coming out of the trailer in a hurry. “Hey Wayne, I’m sorry; you don’t have to worry about me,” Eddie says 
“You’re my boy, Eddie... Of course, I worry about you. What happened, Jim?”
“You two, go home now,” Hopper says.  
You unconsciously follow Eddie to his trailer, and Wayne pats you on your head as you walk past him.
“Each one in your respective homes!” Hopper yells when he notices you are still with Eddie.
“My father is not home!” You reply.
“I don’t care, young lady! You go to your home and wait for him there!”
You were going to yell back, but Eddie squeezes your hand as if saying, “do as he says,” and he replies, “Yes, sir,” while snapping a military salute to Hopper. 
When walking to your home, you overhear Hopper. “How can you stand them?” Wayne replies, “Well, they are both foolish, I know… but they belong together.”  
When you enter home, the emptiness makes you shiver. Because yes, you are the kind of girl who holds it all in and regrets it all later, and all the love, feelings, and thoughts you tried to repress the whole day while hanging with Eddie now overflow within you. 
You are glad that your father is not at home, so you don’t have to pretend everything is ok. You walk lazily to the bathroom to shower, still thinking about what Wayne said. Do you two really belong together? 
You would like to believe that this is true. Even taking romantic love out of the equation, he is your person. He has been since you were a little kid. Since you two met, you have always been inseparable. He had protected you from the bullies at school, taught you how to protect yourself, run and outsmart others, and you had always taken good care of him, especially when he didn’t care about himself.
You come back to your bedroom, and instead of putting on your pajamas, you pick some of his clothes that are with you and wear them, pieces that you borrowed from him and should have given back after washing them but that you kept helping you remember him. 
You crawl into bed, thinking about your situation. You are in love with him, although you know, he just sees you as a friend. You keep telling yourself that you are cool living with this constant pain because the alternative, losing him after a rejection that you are sure would come if you tell him how you feel, is unbearable. 
So you try not to think about how much you love him whenever you hang out together to keep things as normal as possible. But in those minutes that you are alone, you think. A lot. All you do is think about the feelings that you hide. And these thoughts are unmanageable. The room is silent, but your mind is so loud.
“Will somebody please quiet my mind so I can sleep?” you try to silence your voice in the pillow. You’ve tried to stop thinking, but it didn’t work. You are trying to get some sleep for hours without success. 
You are too tired to do anything but too awake to sleep at the moment as you are blaming life for being unfair, Eddie for not loving you back, and irrationally being angry with the world.
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Still having trouble sleeping, you get up and look out your window and see Eddie’s silhouette, black against the lights of the trailer park, sitting at the top of his trailer. You don’t know where the urge to go to him comes from, but when you notice, you are already climbing the stairs he left at one of the walls.  
When you are at the top of the trailer, you start becoming unsure of what you are doing. You calculate that you could slip away without him noticing you; he doesn’t seem to have heard or seen you yet. But the outside air is so sweet that thinking about coming back is not a good idea. And you don’t want to miss the chance to stay close to Eddie, even for a bit. 
You try to move as soundlessly as possible, but you know that he notices you coming. “You should be getting some sleep,” he says while you sit by his side, just giving a slight shake of your head. 
“Couldn’t sleep either?” you ask.
“Couldn’t turn my mind off,” he replies.
You bite your lip, wondering what is keeping him awake at night. You are sure that it is not for the same reason that you are kept up all night. There must be something else going on, something important that you didn’t know. 
Suddenly you are ashamed of being angry with him for not loving you back. It’s not his fault that you caught feelings for him. He was living his life and minding his own business, and you are the one to blame, you that out of nowhere is all sad and angry, lamenting how much you yearn for him… For God’s sake, he is just literally existing; how is this his problem? Well, it’s not. 
You both stay next to each other in silence. Then, finally, you start thinking about the unexpected electricity flowing between you, the crazy urge you are feeling to touch him. You run your fingers through your hair, afraid that you are losing your mind and trying, unsuccessfully, to relax.
You allow yourself to glance in his direction and see that he does not seem relaxed either. Even if you feel this overpowering craving to touch him that refuses to fade, you try to focus on something more important. 
“How are you, Eds?” you ask tentatively. 
“I’m fine,” he replies with a sad voice. 
“Define ‘fine’ please,” you say, in a soft voice, trying to warm him. 
He crosses his arms and thinks about it. There is a long pause, and you are scared that he will not say anything. 
“Fucked up. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional,” he says in a breath. 
You smile, but you see that he is not smiling yet; something else is happening. 
“I know this t-shirt,” he says, nudging you.
“You should; it’s yours, anyways.”
“Looks way better on you. Keep it. And all that is mine is yours, you know that” he replies with a smile.
“Not your heart, and I would trade anything for it,” you think. But you ask another critical question: “So, are you looking for answers under the stars? Are they being useful? Maybe I should do it too, and with their help, I can pass my final exams…” 
“That is one of the problems,” he replied.
“Which part, exactly?”
“Passing the final exams.” 
“I know you don’t expect much from me, but just a bit more, and I’ll pass… then ‘Hello, senior year,’ and I’ll be one step closer to being free of high school! Just because you are graduating this year does not mean that you can kill my vibe, Eds.” but as you were speaking, seeing his sad expression increasing, you noticed that you were seeing it from the wrong angle. He was talking about his final exams, not yours.
You hear him take in a deep breath. “I’m not graduating. I’ll fail this year, sweetheart… so see, I’m not killing your vibe.” Eddie tries to smile, but his expression breaks your heart. 
“Can’t we do anything about it? What about the assignments? Haven’t our studying sessions helped?”
“I haven’t really done any assignments or taken notes all semester…. You were so adamant that we had to study this year, and I didn’t want to spend time away from you, so I agreed with our studying sessions… But I kinda just.. scribbled shit down so it looked like I was working, but I didn’t study. It wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry.” 
“That’s ok, Eds… please, don’t be so hard on yourself; we’ll figure things out.”
“No, we won’t. I’m stupid; there is nothing that can be done.” 
“C’mon, Eds. Who cares if you know the exact date when a Civil War battle happened? Why does that matter? I know that you love to study the tactical and strategic reasons leading up to it, the reasons it was won and lost, the results it led to… You know those parts. You are great at calculating damage points and balancing attributes to your NPCs, and you can write epic campaigns… all these things show that you are smart as hell… it’s our fucked up school system that wants you to memorize a fucking date, or something like that because that’s easier to tick off on a quiz instead of exercising the true intellect of the students.” you replied energetically, truly irritated that Eddie could think something wrong about himself. 
Eddie locked those brown eyes on yours, and you think about taking a step back, but then you see that he is smiling. “You look great when you talk passionately about something; I should bother you more often.” 
You stick your tongue out, and he starts to laugh; it makes your heart melt. “Well, we’ll be together in our senior year... I can surely use someone experienced to guide me through that, you know...” 
He knows that you are trying to cheer him up. “I just… I don’t want to be a disappointment to you or Wayne… I don’t want to fail you.” he says, and you can feel the sadness again at those words.
“You have nothing to prove me, and I’m not here to give you approval, Eds… I’m here to give you support. No matter what happens. Wayne loves you unconditionally, too; you know that.” 
He looked down and rubbed his cheek for a second. “I keep thinking about what Hopper said about me becoming my father. I swore I would not become him… but what if I’m cursed?”
“You are not. And if you are, so am I. You are not the only one with a monumental disappointment for a father. You and I could write a book on that topic, but we are doing our best here.” 
“Do you think I am immature?” 
“Well, let’s see… you are a spontaneous, bubbly boy who gets easily excited over many things… and you are a chaotic, energetic person.”
“I knew it,” he starts, but you interrupt him. “But none of this is related to how smart or mature you are as a person, Eds… all these things are just you are. And you know what? I love who you are, and I wouldn’t change a thing.” 
You look at him dearly, wondering why suddenly, he is second-guessing who he is, doubting his essence, and worrying about fitting in with what people could expect of him… this does not sound like Eddie. It hurts you to see that today he is worrying about this type of thing.   
“I always have this fear that one day you will find out that I’m not as great as you think I am,” he says, twitching his hands nervously. 
“That’s just not going to happen, you hear me? So stop this conforming-society bullshit; this is killing you. You don’t have to be anything you are not or don’t want to be. So please don’t listen to them. I just want you to be you. That’s all I want, all I need. But at the end of the day, what matters is what you want and need, do you understand?” 
“Ok, so unfortunately for everybody, I will keep doing whatever the fuck I want, and I won’t apologize for who I am.” 
“That’s the spirit!” you cheer.
“But when it comes to you… I care about you, and maybe Hopper is right; I’m not a good person.” 
You roll your eyes so hard that it hurts. “Yeah, but I still love you, anyway.”
“Well, this makes me want to be better.” he chuckles. 
You stay there together, your shoulder and hip pressed against his. Finally, after a while in silence, you dare to rest your head against his shoulder and close your eyes. You feel his hand caress your hair. Eddie starts to think about how he would like to ensure that you always feel safe, protected, and cared for, as you always do to him.
People were always judging him, jumping to conclusions, and trying to change him… but not you. You were such a good friend. No, he shook the thought away. You were more than that to him. You both had grown up together, standing by each other through thick and thin. His sarcasm was never lost on you, and your wit made him smile every time. He wonders what he would do without you.
He feels you dozing off. “I really think you should get some sleep now, sweetheart.” 
You don’t like the idea but want to give him the space he needs; you don’t want to sound clingy. So you both climb down, and as you return home, he takes your hand, startling you a bit. “Would you stay?” he asks, with those pleading chocolate button eyes that you can’t resist, so you nod. 
An internal voice is screaming inside your head that you should go home. Sleeping over now is different for you; you are both older, you are in love with him, there are other implications, and it is not as simple, easy, or innocent as it used to be. But this didn’t bother you until you discovered you were in love with him, so you know that the problem is you, not the circumstances. How do you draw that line? You decide that you won’t worry about it today. 
You enter his bedroom and go to his bed, ignoring the mess. As you settle in, he pulls your head down to use his arm as a pillow, and the other arm rests protectively over you. Now that you are there, the thought of rejecting his invitation seems absurd. His arms make you feel safe like no other’s in the world, not since your mother was still alive, and being in love with him made it even more special.
You are tired, your eyes start to feel heavy, and you can feel yourself slipping away. Then, you hear him asking you: “Did you mean every word you said today?”
“Every single one of them,” you answer.
The ‘I love you’ included, you think, but you know that he has not paid attention to it or that it does not have the same meaning to him as it has for you. It does not matter, he is with you tonight, which is already more than you could ask for, so you allow yourself to feel all his warmth, inhale his scent and have a nice night of sleep.
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Notes: Sorry, it took a while to update the story - I made a pause for the end-year celebrations! Unfortunately, this also made the piece I'm writing a bit lengthy, so I decided to break it - the first part is in this chapter, and the good news is that the other part, which will be the next chapter, is almost ready too. :) Thank you for reading; feedback is always appreciated! I hope you like the story so far! Please bear with me as English is not my first language, and this had no proofreading, :)
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@sidthedollface2 @bimbobaggins69 @roxy9295 @aftermidnightwriting @ghosttownwherenoonegoes
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stanurines1mp · 2 years ago
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Wanting You
A decision to be made… A path to her life… Erika Smith found her answer. From Attack On Titan / Shingeki No Kyojin, An Armin Arlert x OC Story.
𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧
𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 ← 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔳 𝔫𝔢𝔵𝔱 → 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱
"Erika!" Jean called, immediately going up to hug her. "You made it," he whispered against her ears. "We were worried when we didn't see you but-"
"I was with Armin and Connie. But we got separated along the way. They went to help Mikasa. And I assume they have yet to return," she panted, returning his hug.
"Not yet," he sighed worriedly.
'Armin, please survive,' Erika's heart prayed silently.
"Who's that?" Erika nodded to behind Jean. The boy looked backward, seeing Erika's motion towards the corpse that lay bloodied on the floor.
"I think he was one of the cadets assigned here. I guess he just couldn't take it anymore," Jean theorized sadly.
"Oh well, sucks to be him," Erika pursed her lips with a shrug, earning a shocked look from Jean. He watched wide-eyed as the girl stood up and walked toward the corpse. She then crouched down beside it, her hands going up to his shirt.
"Oi, Erika, what are you do-"
His words were interrupted by the loud sound of Erika tearing the corpse's shirt. Or at least the clean part that lacked bloodstains. Jean watched in shock as the girl took the strip of clothing and brought it up to her neck. She swiftly slid it under her hair, both her hands carrying each end of it upwards. She then proceeded to tie the cloth into a hair tie for further practicality.
Upon seeing Jean's shocked expression, all she could say was, "What? He's clearly not going to need it."
Just then, another window broke into pieces due to the entrances of the remaining three cadets. Erika's eyes instantaneously latched onto the familiar blue-eyed blond, her legs rushing to bring her to him, relief flowing through her. 
Her attention was diverted upon hearing Jean's yells. Her head snapped in his direction, seeing him hold someone by the collar before being stopped by Marco. Erika let go of Armin before walking up to Jean and Marco to investigate what the commotion was about. She overheard the words of one of the soldiers regarding the disaster in the supply room.
"Well now that's a big problem," Erika sassed, a hand on her hip as she exhaled with frustration. "Almost feels like everything we did to get here was for naught."
"So what? Are we just supposed to give up?" Jean groaned angrily.
"I never said that," Erika scoffed, her head slightly shaking. "How many Titans are down there?"
"I- I don't know!" The soldier cried.
"Hmm, that's alright," Erika hummed. "This is the headquarters of Trost. I'm pretty sure there's got to be some weapons here that can help us."
"You mean like rifles?" Marco lighted up.
"I suppose that could work."
"Some of us will go search. The rest of you go down first," Jean said to Erika, earning a nod from the girl.
As discussed, Erika and the others went down to the basement, a level just above the supply room. They took the time to rest while waiting for Jean and some other boys to return with their findings. 
Erika was sitting with Mikasa and Armin, her legs laid out as she stretched to ensure her body's physical state. Her fingers played nimbly with the pendant of her necklace, her ears wide open to the story told by Connie of how the trio was saved by an Abnormal Titan who showed no interest in eating them but instead fought other Titans. 
It brought up an interest in Erika, obviously curious to know more about said Titan. An Abnormal Titan is still a Titan nonetheless, just with less predictable movements.
So the question pondered her mind; "An Abnormal or an Intellegent?" Her lips had allowed those words to escape, though in a small whisper.
"Wait, what?" Connie asked, extremely confused by what the girl had brought up.
"Huh? Oh, sorry, nothing. Forget what I said," she brushed it off, her hands waving dismissively as her lips plastered a smile. 
Though most of them did in fact ignore her, Armin's mind was struck with intense wonder at the words she said. Nevertheless, it was let off once Jean, Marco, and others were back, arms carrying boxes.
"We've found some lying around," he announced, placing down the boxes. He opened the lid, revealing a few rifles, weapons to be used in their escapade. "Will these work, Armin?" Jean questioned, swiping off the dust-covered rifles.
"Yes. It's estimated that there are around 7 Titans down there. This much firepower will allow for us to blind them simultaneously," he explained. "First, we'll use the lift to lower the group of people from the center. They will then fire simultaneously at the faces of each of the seven Titans, which will blind them. Then, comes the moment of truth. Seven people hiding above will strike the Titans' vital points just after the gunfire."
"Sounds solid on paper. But it's extremely risky," Erika pondered, her eyes traveling the room. "Those seven people need to kill those Titans at the same time."
"Yes. I suggest the top 7 of our class," Armin spoke up. "Still, is this idea of mine really our best strategy?"
"You should have more faith in yourself, Armin," Marco beamed gently, placing a reassuring shoulder on the blond teen.
"I agree," Erika said, gaining everyone's attention. "You're one of the smartest people we know. And it's about the only idea anyone can think of right now. So we have no choice but to proceed. If not, we'd just be sitting ducks with no food supply," she spat out, her eyes on the target of one of the rifles she picked up. She loaded some bullets into the weapon she held, taking off its safety before shooting at a far wall. Her actions shocked everyone but she let out a pleased hum. "These will work just fine."
Soon, everyone began helping to load the rest of the guns. Erika, Marco, and Armin each took a rifle, leading the rest of the group. They took a step into the lift, examining their rifle, ensuring that it would fire as planned. Once the chosen 7 had gone down in hiding, the lift was lowered slowly.
"I'm kinda excited to use this," Erika giggled slightly. "We didn't really get much chance to use it during training." 
Everyone had their rifles aimed at the Titans once the lift was lowered. Each of them nervously waited for Armin's signal. Slight relief flooded Armin's senses upon noticing that the number of Titans was exactly 7. Nothing more, nothing less. 
As one of the Titans initiated eye contact with them, the relief in Armin was soon replaced by nerves. But he understood he had to stay calm. The Titan neared them, closing in their distance.
"Armin, we're waiting for you," Erika stammered quietly.
"Not yet," he quivered, eyes focusing on his target.
The Titan only walked closer and closer. "Armin, it's getting really close," Erika reminded, her tone in a nervous sing-song.
A second passed with silence before Armin let out a warning, immediately joined by the sounds of gunshots. Erika's right eye was focused on the target while she had her left eye closed. Her finger on the trigger pulled continuously to allow the ultimate effect on the Titan's blinding. 
Once all the Titans were groaning in pain, stumbling onto their toes, the top 7 initiated their surprise attack. Despite some setbacks, all 7 Titans became steaming corpses. Cheers of joy flooded the room before everyone went on to resupply their gas tank. 
Relief and happiness danced in the air, imprinting hope in the hearts and minds of the soldiers. Once everyone was ready, they began moving out, ready to leave the town and find safety within the Walls.
"Mikasa?" Armin gasped, seeing the lonely girl standing on a rooftop, viewing the city. He then proceeded to get up there.
"Oi, Armin!" Erika tried to stop him but it was to no avail. Instead, she followed him up there, landing softly beside Armin. Her eyes then widened when she saw what exactly was Mikasa's view.
"They're cannibalizing it!" Armin gasped.
"Is that the Titan that helped you guys?"
"Yes," Armin nodded.
"I thought that if we could somehow figure out what's up with that Titan, it could've helped us break free from this hopeless situation," Mikasa justified.
Reiner suddenly agreed from behind the trio, earning an objection from Jean. "I agree with Mikasa and Reiner," Erika exhaled. "It's shitty that we can't just go right now but look at it Jean," she shook her head, pointing towards the 'Abnormal' Titan. "Something's up with that Titan."
"That Titan," Armin drawled out, looking away. "That was the Titan that ate Thomas."
And as if on cue, the 'Abnormal' Titan let out a rumbling roar, pushing off the Titans that were feasting on it. 'No- Him,' Erika thought, a theory forming in the back of her mind. The former Titan then launched himself forward, his jaw tackling the nape of the Titan that had killed Thomas. Erika's eyes couldn't help but lower to the Titan's legs. Specifically, his stance.
"Armin," she whispered as she called, earning his attention. She then pulled him by the hem of his sleeve, away from the rest so she could discuss her thoughts in private. "The stance. It's exactly the same as the one we were taught during camp. During hand-to-hand combat."
Hearing her words, he gasped, looking to the said Titan. "You're right!"
"And Armin," she heeded. "We know that Titans eat humans, not for survival, but pure bloodlust. But Titans only eat humans. Never animals. Only just humans," she added, building up to her theory. "But that thing," she let out, pointing her blade toward the giant. "That thing, it was eaten by other Titans. We saw it with our own eyes."
"What are you getting at, Erika?" Armin feared, having an intense feeling that his questions from earlier were about to be brought to the surface with Erika's words.
"That's not an Abnormal Titan, Armin," she whispered, holding tightly onto his forearm. "It's a human." 
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joonlaksme · 2 years ago
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October 31st
Jung Hoseok - Cuddling (M)
Hoseok treads through villages and small towns, finally reaching your hut once again like he has so many times. He’s a bit surprised he even remembers every thing that happened. Before he can knock on your door, something brushes against his leg and he jumps almost immediately. His heart calms when he just realizes it’s your cat with a purple ribbon in its mouth.
“Tengu, what did I tell you abou-“ And your sight raises from your cat to Hoseok.
“I’m home.” He says and smiles. He had no idea what else to say to convince you of his identity. He had nothing else but the clothing on his back and the weakest magic he could muster.
You step back, hands trembling. Your hat tips off of your head with the wild jerk you make when you step back and your magical force field fades off as you focus less on your magic and more on the miracle in front of you. You had blamed yourself for so long; if only you were there in time-
“Hey, hey-!” He runs up to you and notices the way your eyes get glossy. They fill with tears and quickly spill over, “Babe, I’m here.”
“I-I thought you were dead…” Then gears start to move in your head and you move his hands off of you. While your heart is telling you to welcome him in with no questions, your brain is telling you to think of this logically. Your forcefield grows back, so strong that it makes your entire being turn red with a mixture of your fury. He winces at the burn it emits on his skin. “This is a sick joke. I told you people to leave me alone. I don’t know how you figured out how to do it but…this-“
Then you hear a tumbling sound from beside you. You take a second to look and see your broom on the floor. It was previously hanging on the wall.
“I’m weak, I know. But it is me.”
You allow him to get a bit closer to you but you’re still on guard. The people who live closest to your hut are the worst type of people who will not stop playing pranks on you just to force you away. You refuse to stay anywhere else because this has been your home longer than they have settled and you are too stubborn. If you were to move, that would mean that they would win this silent feud.
“I can’t believe you haven’t moved yet.” Hoseok shows off a bright smile that makes you feel warm inside. You fight off the feeling. “It doesn’t look that different.” But when he turns to look at you again, he sees the seriousness on your face. He lets out the smallest sigh and then says, “I’ll tell you exactly what happened but first can I just…can we hug? Something?”
You’re rack your brain for the risks of that but come with nothing and you risk it. When was the last time you had hugged someone that wasn’t your cat?
When you get close enough, you hug him. You take in his warmth and the scent that is so wholly him. He, just as nostalgic, subtly presses a kiss on your shoulder and sighs into your arms. It doesn’t take you too long to succumb and to declare that this is Hoseok. If it isn’t, who else would have the skill to know a man such as him to a T?
The first few days are spent catching up and quizzing him on things: “only the real Hoseok would know.” Things such as potion recipes and different spells. You sleep in separate beds. You try to sleep with difficultly, knowing the love of your life may be in the next room.
When you decide this is the real him, he gives you an explanation to everything. What exactly happened and why he’s here now.
“Are you comfortable?” He asks. The two of you shuffle in your bed. It’s a bit too small for the two of you but you manage with your position. His body in front of yours as your arms are wrapped around his.
You hum sleepily in reply, pressing yourself to him in an attempt to be as close as possible. However there is one thing you forget to notice.
“Oh? What’s this?” He wiggles himself against your crotch and you feel heat rushing to your cheeks. You hadn’t even noticed.
“Don’t worry too much about that.”
“I want to.” He flips himself around and immediately presses his lips to yours, goosebumps raising on your body as you bask in this forgotten love. The forgotten love that you never moved away from even after all this time. He kisses down your chest like he really cares for you. Your relationship, just as fresh and genuine as the first day it had started. You can even sense his heartbeat and as he drags his soft lips down your body, you feel overwhelming emotions rise up in you all over again.
Your sniffle is what brings him back from under the sheets and back to you. He holds you close to him with no words and rubs your back until you sleep in his arms.
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natashawritesstuff · 3 years ago
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Track 18: Send My Love 📼
“send my love to your new lover, treat her better”
sugawara x reader 
cw. married young, divorce but resolution 
Send My Love (To Your New Lover) by Adele
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This was all you, none of it me
You put your hands all over my body and told me
“There,” Sugawara announces as he drops down a large binder on your living room coffee table.
“What is this?” you ask, flipping through.
“Life plan.”
“You planned out our lives together?”
“Yeah.”
You told me you were ready
For the big one, for the big jump
I'd be your last love, everlasting, you and me
“Move in by twenty-four, married at twenty-seven,” you recite, “baby are you sure about all this? I mean we’re only nineteen.”
“Y/N, you’ve been the only thing I’ve been sure about since we were ten.”
“I- I mean maybe getting married by twenty-five is better,” you figure, and his eyebrows furrow, “ten-year anniversary.”
“So-”
“Yeah,” you agree, “let’s do this.”
That was what you told me
I'm giving you up
Seven years, one engagement, one wedding, and countless fights later; you are so tired.
You’re playing with your wedding ring when Sugawara is about to leave for work.
“Bye sweetie,” he says.
“Bye,” you say softly.
He reaches for the door and then pauses, this is usually the time when the two of you would say ‘I love you’ before he leaves. Yet the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.
“Oh shit,” Sugawara hisses and starts to break down crying.
I've forgiven it all
“Hey, hey,” you say, rushing over to him, pulling him into a tight hug, “it’s okay, it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah,” you pause, “me too.”
You set me free
I was too strong, you were trembling
“So who’s gonna move out?” you ask and just the thought of being without you brought tears to his eyes.
“I don’t- I don’t know if I can do this,” he says, excusing himself and leaving the apartment.
You couldn't handle the hot heat rising
I was running, you were walking
You couldn't keep up, you were falling down
Sugawara was moving at a snail's pace with everything regarding the breakup. The divorce papers: he’s yet to sign, his boxes: yet to pack and you: he’s continued to avoid.
I'm giving you up, I've forgiven it all
“Koshi,” you cry, “why are you doing this?”
“Wha- what do you mean, what’s wrong?”
“You keep avoiding what we have to do and I can’t just stay in this limbo-”
“I don’t want to face losing you,” he finally confesses and your lips slightly part.
“Do you think I want to lose you?”
“I-”
“This is hard for me- no, this awful, but we just- we gotta do this okay?”
He pauses before he agrees, “okay.”
You set me free
Send my love to your new lover treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
“So who's moving out?” Suga asks you the question he used to never want to answer.
“Honestly, I think we both should. The place is kinda haunted now,” you joke.
“True, true,” he agrees.
We both know we ain't kids no more
Send my love to your new lover
Even though it was nearly four months after you two had realized you fell out of love, you both didn’t tell a soul you were splitting up. However, while everyone thought you two were still together, you both were actually going on dates with other people.
“Be back by ten,” he warns you.
“And you better not mention your ex this time,” you tell him.
“But you’re also my best friend-”
“Suga,” you laugh.
He holds the door open for you and the two of you walk out of the apartment.
You smile as you say, “have fun on your date.”
“You too Y/N,” he wishes before the two of you walk your separate ways.
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
Moments later, you hear his frantic voice screaming out your name and you quickly turn around.
“Koshi what is-”
“Rings! Rings, we need to take off our rings!”
“Oh shit!” you realize and you both ran back into the house.
We both know we ain't kids no more
If you're ready, if you're ready
Moving day came and went for both of you and the divorce was filed and granted. It’s a Saturday night when the two of you are both sitting on the floor of your now-empty apartment. It didn’t really hit either of you until then, this is really happening. You were divorced from your first and what you hoped to be your only love. Now ready to start a life without him.
“You know, we should get going,” you suggest.
“Yeah we should,” he agrees yet neither of you dares to move, too scared to leave.
If you're ready, I am ready
After a very, very long time, Sugawara stands up and extends his hand out to you; you take it.
“Let’s go.”
“Yeah, okay.”
He leads you out the door, still hand and hand when you stop.
“Wha-”
“My phone.”
You pull it out of your pocket realizing it’s Daichi. You look up at Sugawara, wordlessly asking him if you should answer.
Even with everything said and done, neither of you had the heart to tell any of your high school friends that the two of you divorced. If you remember correctly, Asahi’s exact words were, ‘you two were the only reason I believe in love, and if you two ever split, that’s it for me.’ Granted, he was drunk out of his mind, but a drunken thought is a sober truth.
If you're ready, if you're ready
On what’s the second to last ring, Sugawara nods to you and encourages, “answer it.”
You do.
We both know we ain't kids no more
“Hey Daichi,” you warmly greet him.
“Hey, Y/N it’s been a while.”
“It really has, nine months, right?”
“Something like that. Man, we can’t let too much time pass without talking again.”
“Definitely. But hey, how are things? How’s work?” you ask.
“Great, great,” he answers, “just got a promotion, things are really looking up.”
“That’s amazing,” you tell him.
“But hey, what about you? How’s my favorite couple. You and Suga good?” Daichi asks.
“Um,” you pause looking back at Sugawara and he nods so you continue, “we just got divorced.”
“Wha- oh my god, I’m so-”
“No, no, Dai, it’s okay,” you assure him with a smile, “we’re gonna be okay.” And you both were.
No, we ain't kids no more
the playlist📼
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Karasuno Masterlist
Main Masterlist
a/n my first ever post here was actually for sugawara also based on a song How Do We Win now he’s the last track before the finale (also my first haikyuu crush)
anyways if you have any character suggestions for bonus tracks after the finale lmk<3
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neesieiumz · 4 years ago
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6 Months {Izuku Midoriya x Reader}
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(Pro-hero!Izuku Midoriya x Former Pro-hero!Reader)
[PART ONE] [PART TWO]
L E A V E.
Summary: You were done. Done with everything. So what do you do? You move on. What's new? What's old? And who makes an even bigger space in your heart?
A/n: So this isn't based on another song, well technically it's still based on Sorry, but it's more like a part two to sorry than it being it's own separate part, you feel me? I know it took longer than expected, but there were so many paths I wanted to take and I didnt feel like rushing it. I really wanted to focus on flashbacks for this final part, your decision to leave the pro-hero scene, when Izuku and Melissa started to see each other... etc... I always made a gateway... in case I wanted to continue you and someone else's romance if I ever felt like it... So enjoy!
Support me on Kofi! Commissions are open!
Word Count: 8.0k
Warnings: Implied NFSW, but no deed is actually done, light drinking, (all in good fun)
___
Falling into your mother’s arms, you spilled everything from last night and this morning. On how you eavesdropped on his conversation, the confrontations from both this morning and at the brunch. Your father wasn’t home, left earlier this morning for his job. Both you and your brother moved out not too long after high school, him going on to college to become an engineer, and you moving into an apartment with Mina and Jirou while you worked for the same hero agency. Your mother was your closest confidant, she was the only one who could come to mind to tell her about what happened. She just held you, rocking you as you cried, cried about your broken marriage, and seeing the girl your husband abandoned you for. You cried about how both she, your dad, and your brother were right. How you should have never listened to him about giving up everything you worked so hard for. She held you in her loving arms, whispering sweet things in your ear.
“I should have listened to you,” you sobbed, holding one of the throw pillows close to you as you sat up on your couch, leaving her hold on you.
Your dress was bunched up to your knees so you pulled the wrinkled material out from under you as you shifted around on your mother’s leather couch. She pulled you into one last hug, the warm embrace making silent tears fall down your face. Your mom pushed the braids falling out of your now-loose bun from your tear-stricken face. Continuing to caress your face slowly, her slightly rough hands provided a familiar comfort from your childhood.
“This is not your fault, you can not blame yourself for his infidelity, nor can you blame yourself for sticking by your husband’s side and decisions. You did what you thought was right and absolutely no one can give you shit for believing in your marriage.” Her soft voice provides extra comfort to you.
“WHAT?!?”
You were in your family home, six years ago. You still had a couple of bandages around your face and arms. Recently, you just completed physical therapy, nearly regaining full control over your limbs. The fight you had was brutal, nearly leveled the entire city. However, you came out successful from it, even if it put you out of commission for over a year. However, since you’ve woken up, you and Izuku have been having intense conversations about the two of you and your futures together, which led you to the decision you’ve made today.
“YOU’RE RETIRING?!?!” Your brother yelled, standing up swiftly out of his chair.
You took a deep breath, keeping your head down as you nodded your head. It was just you, your parents, and your brother here, Izuku currently being in the top 25 heroes, had a lot of work to do so he could join you as you broke the news to them.
“Izuku and I have been talking and seeing how fast he’s going in the Hero Charts. This incident caused us to do some major thinking. The two of us worrying about each other on the job isn’t healthy. Having two heroes in a relationship, especially two who are going as high in the ranks as us as quickly as we are. Considering how there are a lot more people expecting Izuku to go higher since he’s All Might’s prodigy. So, I’ll be retiring and helping Izuku with his career from the sidelines.”
You let out another deep breath as you finished your monologue, your fingers twitching in your lap. You knew this was a decision your family wasn’t going to agree with, after all, it’s not like you don’t have your legacy to meet up with. Your mother, before Miruko, was the highest-ranked female pro hero in all of Japan. You had her legacy to go after since your brother decided to go into the family business with pro-hero gear.
“You can’t be serious!! After everything, you’ve worked for?!?! You’re just gonna give it up BECAUSE IZUKU SAID SO?!”
Your brother was the most pissed, after all, it was always both you and his plan that the two of you would live up to our parent’s legacy. He would become the best support gear inventor and you would become the best pro hero. So saying this puts a damper on the dreams you both had.
“You had one bad fight with a villain, but the doctors said you’re going to be cleared right?” You nodded your head at his question, “so why? Why would you need to retire after that one fight?!”
“Izuku proposed.”
Gasps of shock flew from heri mouths, you smiled sadly as you pulled your hand from under the other, revealing the small, silver ring with the pure cut diamond sitting perfectly in the middle of it.
“He’s the love of my life, and he’s the man who I want to spend the rest of my life with… to have kids with. We both understand how difficult this job is, and we both know how much I wanted to become a pro hero, but since he’s my endgame… something had to give. And so I did.”
Next was your father, having raised you since you were 3 years old. He saw how much you looked up to your mother, and to your grandmother as well. You come from a line from female pro heroes, and it was always your dream to continue that. He’s always supported you throughout the years, remembering all the times the two of you would work in his workshop on new hero gear, both with your brother and without as well.
“Y/n, don’t you think you’re rushing into this decision? This is everything you’ve been working for, and you’re gonna throw it away?”
“I know your concerns but this is for the best for me and him. I know being a pro hero was what I wanted, but…” you trailed off, looking away from your trembling hands.
Your mother, who was sitting beside you, could only stare at your trembling hands. Almost reminds her of the time she told her mother who she was marrying. How nervous she was, not because she was putting her career on the back burner, but because of what happened the last time she decided to pursue a romantic relationship with someone. She got you out of it, but it was still a painful journey. She took a deep breath, before shifting herself to where you were. She placed her hand on top of your own, making you look down at them before slowly turning your head to look at her.
“Are you happy?”
The question caught everyone off guard, their heads turning towards your mother. You slowly nodded your head, smiling at all the memories you’ve made with Izuku. When you first met as a transfer student, your first date and everything else.
“Yeah Mom, I’m happy.”
You took a deep breath, leaning forward as you shook the memory out of your head.
Meanwhile, your mom tried to lighten the mood, “Well, let’s hope your father doesn’t get to him… you know he doesn’t play about you… or your brother either.”
“He won’t be able to land a hit on him unless Izuku lets him.”
“Well, he better let him then!”
You laughed out loud at that, throwing your head back against the back of the couch. You could feel your mom get off the couch, leaning up as she headed to the dining table. Looking through the papers stacked on the wooden table, she pulled out a business card before walking back to where you were still seated on the couch. Your mom sat back down in her original seat, before handing you the same card of laminated cardboard paper.
Renai Miya, divorce attorney at law.
“Renai is a good friend of mine, she gave me that in case anyone I knew was getting advice soon. I’m sure she didn’t expect my daughter but I’m sure she’ll be able to help you out.”
You looked over at your mother, who just gave you another knowing smile. She just rubbed at your shoulders in comfort as you pulled out your phone.
---
Izuku was sitting at his office, ignoring the texts from both Shoto and Katsuki. After the argument and confrontation from this morning, he decided to stay in the office today and complete some overdue paperwork. Typing away on his computer, his mind began to shift from the email he was sent to the hero commission to the argument that happened between him, Kacchan, and Shoto.
“I’m sorry, YOUR WIFE JUST TRIED TO KILL YOU! We don’t know what would have happened if we hadn't come when we did!” Katsuki yelled, throwing his jacket off of his body.
“Izuku, this is a serious matter. We need to know what happened,” Shoto explained next, kneeling in front of Izuku’s crouching figure.
Izuku just shook his head, diving his head into the insides of his elbows. Shoto and Katsuki looked at each other, the concern shining in their eyes. They looked back at their trembling friend, who was now starting to rock back and forth while whispering “I fucked up.” over and over again.
“Izuku,” Katsuki started tentatively, “what did you do?”
Izuku stopped trembling and his rocking ceased as he raised his head slowly, locking eyes with his childhood friend. Katsuki’s leg began moving up and down in anticipation, waiting for him to say something.
“I don’t want to report this, trust me. So just pretend you never saw that.” That was all he said before standing up, pushing past them.
Izuku shook his head, focusing back on his emails. He sent the long paragraph he was typing, after making sure there were grammatical or spelling errors. He then leaned back against his office chair, throwing his head back. A gross, yet very familiar feeling was arising from his stomach, it was slimy, it was painful, it was guilt. He felt guilty, remembering how his wife looked at him at breakfast and right before she left. How the look in her eyes felt more painful than other villains could ever inflict on him.
Closing his eyes, his mind slowly drifted to a memory, a memory from three months ago.
It was dark, and Izuku was tired, so very tired from the shift he worked. However, he needed to do this. He needed to end whatever the hell he and Melissa had. The way they were conversing over private messages was getting too much. In a week would be his wedding Anniversary, and how his wife, Y/n, surprised him, reminded him about what he and Melissa had.
And how wrong it was.
He wore a black, sleeveless turtleneck, paired with a dark coat along with dark jeans. He had fake glasses on his face and his curly was positioned to cover his face so people wouldn’t recognize him. He kept his head forward as he approached the apartment complex Melissa mentioned she was moving into. After living on I-island for all of her life, she wanted a change of pace, especially since what happened with her father way back when. So she got a job as a top hero support inventor at the company where Izuku got his extra gear from. Since it’s also where Hatsume worked as well. He opened the door and walked into the lobby. He looked around the expensive-looking area, seeing the receptionist, and only one other person sitting on the complementary couch talking on the phone. He walked to the receptionist, who greeted him with a smile.
“Are you here to see someone?”
He nodded and gave his fake name, the one he told Melissa he’d be using, along with the apartment number that she gave him. The receptionist simply smiled before typing in her computer, before reaching over to the phone and pressing a couple of the buttons. Izuku could hear someone pick up, a muffled voice through the phone.
“Yes, Ms. Shield, A Iseada L/n is here to see you.”
Izuku took a deep breath, hearing the fake name he gave along with his wife’s maiden name. The receptionist gave off acknowledging hums to the person on the phone, who Izuku knew was Melissa. He rocked himself against his heels, feeling his fingers twitch around in his pockets.
“Alright, I’ll send him right up!” She ended the call, placing the phone back in its holder.
She then smiled at Izuku before pointing at the elevators behind him, “you can use an elevator. Ms. Shield lives on the fifth floor.”
Izuku nodded and thanked her before turning around to the elevators. He picked on towards the left and stepped inside of it, waiting for it to close before choosing the button that said “five.” The doors closed as generic elevator music played throughout the rising mechanical box. Izuku sighed, pulling off the fake glasses, before pushing his curls out of his face.
Third floor…
Fourth floor…
The elevator dinged as the door opened, revealing the fifth floor. Izuku stepped out of the elevator, using the signs on the walls to find his way to Melissa’s apartment. Walking past all the other doors, of the patrons of the apartment, who were currently sleeping to the world. Unaware that their number one hero was sneaking past them, claiming to be ending an illicit relationship.” Seeing the apartment number up ahead, Izuu could feel his heart beat faster. Taking another deep breath, he stopped right in front of the pitch-black door. Swallowing his spit, he closed his eyes before knocking on the door a couple of times. Almost immediately after he knocked, the door opened, causing Izuku’s eyes to shoot open, jumping back a little as Melissa stepped into the doorframe. Izuku was about to speak when his eyes drifted down to what she was wearing. It was a simple white t-shirt, ending right at her upper thigh. Izuku licked his dry lips, before looking back up at Melissa’s face who was giving him a knowing smile, that looked smug as well.
“Izuku,” her usually peachy tone came out a little subtle, silky and sultry, “I’m so happy to see you after so long. Come in.”
Izuku simply nodded as Messlia stepped to the side, allowing him to enter her expensive apartment, which could be classified as a penthouse. Izuku looked around, his eyes landing on all the decorations around her living room. He walked toward her wall, where she hung pictures. There were pictures of Melissa with her dad, her mom, All Might, and a couple of her friends from I-island. He continued looking around, before his eyes landing on a picture of the two of them, back when he was a first-year.
“You were so short back then,” Izuku heard Melissa say, as she came to stand next to him.
Izuku just nodded, continuing to look at the frames. He was enveloped in the nostalgia he was facing when he didn’t even notice Melissa coming up behind him. He only noticed her when he felt a hand coming up around his waist. He froze, his heart pounding away in his ears. She then stood right behind him, before pressing up against his back next, her hands now circling his waist.
“Melissa…” he started, feeling her fingers mess with his zipper and belt under his overcoat jacket.
God, was she wearing anything under that shirt? He could feel her breasts, her hardened nipples pressing against his back. He took another deep breath, licking his lips before moving his hands to where her own was and prying them off his belt, just as she was beginning to unbuckle it.
“Melissa, we can’t do this. I’m married. Happily married at that. I can’t keep doing this to her.”
Melissa only hummed, moving her body from behind his own, stepping in front of him. She was wet, her long wavy dripping down her face and body. The water from her wet hair dripped onto her shirt, her white, very thin shirt. Izuku’s breath hitched as he slowly glanced down her body, her nipples visibly being shown through the fabric.
“Yet, you can’t keep your eyes off me Izuku.” Hands grabbed at his jacket, pulling him closer to her.
Izuku gasped as Melissa brought her hand, cupping his face before bringing it down. Izuku gasped once again as he felt lips upon his own, feeling her other hand reach inside his jacket to pull him closer by the waist. Izuku was about to push her away, he needed to push her away. God, he was married for fucks sake, to someone who loved him dearly. But her lips, they felt so good to him. Glossed from the shower she took, they tasted of mint and strawberries. Izuku, taking a deep breath, went to push off his jacket, never letting go of the kiss. Mellissa, smirking into the kiss, helped him out of the jacket before squealing as Izuku scooped her up before slamming her on the wall.
“This is a one-time thing,” he mumbled against her lips, using his hips to hold her up against the wall as he took off his shirt next.
“Yeah…” Mellissa said with a skeptical tone, feeling his hands go under her wet shirt next.
“A one-time thing…”
Izuku groaned, throwing the papers in his hands across his desk. Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself out of his desk. He stood up from out of his chair, walking over to the wall which was replaced with windows, looking down upon the city of Mustafa. He could hear the faint sounds of cars driving and honking, he could see the civilians, everyone he protects. Looking across the street, he could see a cafe. It was one that he frequents since it’s so close. The door opened, and it revealed a couple. A laughing couple. The man was holding a medium-sized bag, with the logo of the cafe plastered across the bag. He was wearing a dark brown suede jacket that was buttoned shut. The woman was wearing a matching jacket, wearing as a dress, her curly hair pulled up in a bun. She held their coffees as they walked along the sidewalk. Izuku smiled sadly, before looking over to the couch in his office.
Laughter rang out inside the office, the sun had already gone down a long time ago and the night shift heroes were all out patrolling, leaving Izuku, a couple of sidekicks, and a couple of more janitors. It was your anniversary, but unfortunately, a string of villain attacks happened today. This pulled Deku out of his day off and kept him away. So, you decided to surprise me with dinner at his office. You cooked shrimp alfredo, packing it in pretty containers, before stopping by a couple of stores, buying a fancy cake that said “Happy Anniversary.” The last thing you bought was some expensive alcohol, a bottle of wine and champagne just in case. She then dressed up, a dark green silk dress paired with a matching coat and heeled shoes. She brought a few decorations before carrying all of that, using your clouds. Izuku smiled once he walked into the office with everything, abandoning his work and helped you set up the table.
The two of you enjoyed dinner together, talking about your day, specifically on how Izuku was swamped with back-to-back villain attacks. To the point where he was the same police officer twice in two different scenes. After dinner, the two of you move to the couch, still holding your wine glasses now filled with champagne.
“I have a gift for you,” Izuku mentioned, pushing himself up off the couch before going behind his desk, going through the drawers.
You giggled, shifting around the couch to get a little more comfortable, your jacket long discarded. Izuku hissed out a “here it is!”, before pulling out a neatly wrapped box, closing the drawer with his foot. You took another sip of your bubbly alcohol as Izuku skipped over to you with the box in hand.
“Here you go, darling!”
You smiled, placing your glass on the small lamp table to the right of you before sitting up and taking the box from your husband. He smiled at you as he sat beside you, seeing you begging to open up the carefully placed wrapping paper. Once all the wrapping paper was removed from the box, you gasped, seeing the logo on the box. BVLGARI. A smile slowly appeared on your face as you untied the golden silk ribbon. Slowly lifting the top of the box, you pulled out of the pure white tissue paper. This revealed one of the most beautiful necklaces and earrings you’ve ever seen. It was an emerald necklace, it had two emeralds, and also was decorated with mini diamonds along the border, and considering the brand, you knew it was real. The earrings were dangly and matched the way the smaller emerald looked on the necklace.
“Izuku… it’s beautiful…”
He smiled, taking the box out of your hands before taking the necklace out of the box. He whispered at you to turn around. Following his instructions, you swept your goddess braids to the side as he placed the necklace around your neck, the cool feeling of the metal tingly against your warm skin. Izuku then connected the chain, letting the necklace fall against your nape before leaning over your shoulder and placing a light kiss on top of her almost-bare shoulder. You shuddered, leaning into his touch as his hands moved from your shoulders, trailing down your body to rest them on your hips. You let out a moan, feeling him give your neck a nip, reaching up to grab him by his messy curls. You smirked, before sighing into the neck kisses he was leaving on your neck.
“You smell,” he inhaled slowly, “really fucking good.”
Giggling at his words, you placed your own hands on top of his own before turning around. You lifted yourself off the chair. Izuku lifted an eyebrow as you placed your hands behind your back.
“I have a gift for you too, it’s not a material gift but…” you trialed off as you reached up the straps of your dress, before beginning to slowly pull them down, revealing the thin straps of your expensive lingerie.
Izuku’s eyes sparkled as your dress trailed down your body, revealing the expensive material cut and crafted to fit your body perfectly. The way the emerald green clashed perfectly with your deeper skin. Your manicured hands trailed down your body as your dress pooled at your feet, leaving you in nothing but the sinful lingerie and the heels to match. Izuku licked his bottom lip as you slowly walked over to him, dragging your heels with each step. Lifting yourself, you slowly placed yourself on his lap, feeling Izuku’s hands immediately attach themselves to your hips. He gave you a sly smile, looking up at you.
“And you look so amazing,” he gave your body another glance, making you smirk and lean back, using your arms and hands to steady you.
You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck before diving into a kiss. His lips tasted of mint and strawberries, it was a new taste but one you didn’t mind. Deepening the kiss, you gasped as you felt Izuku’s hard on all the way through his pants.
“I love you so much, Izuku Midoriya.”
A moment of silence went by.
“I love you too, Y/n Midoriya.”
Izuku took a deep breath and was about to open the next one when his phone, his personal one, started ringing. He reached in the drawer and pulled it out and looked at the screen. Sweetheart was calling, a picture of you and Izuku at your wedding anniversary plastered across the screen. Izuku was less blacked up back then, and you still had a crutch from your physical therapy from your incident. But god did you both look so beautiful and happy. Izuku was wearing his suit from the wedding but without the jacket and a couple of buttons unfastened. You, however, changed out of your wedding dress into a white velvet dress that was strapless and came with these long gloves in the similar fabric that you only wore for official pictures. Izuku was carrying you bridal style along with the rest of you and his family and his closest friends.
Izuku simply smiled sadly, before answering the call.
“Y/n?”
He heard nothing at first, nothing but the phone static so he called out your name again. This time he heard someone take a deep, trembling breath as if they had been crying for a long time.
“Izuku.” Your voice was scratchy, and hoars too. Izuku could feel his heartbreak and drop to his ass all at the same time. He did that.
God he was supposed to be a hero, save people and never let them down.
Now he may have just ruined his marriage.
“Y/n.” He said again, “how- how are you?”
“I’ve called a divorce lawyer.”
Oh. Straight to the bullet.
“We can’t- we can’t talk about this?”
“What’s there to talk about? You did this to me. You did this to us. Now face the fucking consequences of your actions.” Your voice was scratchy, the rasp appearing with each word you say.
“I know what I did.”
“And yet, you still did it.”
Izuku took a deep breath, leaning back into his chair. He looked up at the ceiling of his office, looking at the dazzling, overhanging chandelier in the middle of it.
“So there’s nothing I can say or do to convince you to stay?”
“You can have the house, as long as you pay me alimony for the next two-three years, for a reasonable price of course.”
You completely ignored his question, going straight into what was going to happen next. Izuku took another deep breath, this time leaning against his hand as he placed his elbow, pointed up, against his desk.
“So this is it?”
“This is it, Izuku. I told myself I would never lessen myself for a man, and I already broke that when I quit my job. I’m not gonna keep doing that to myself.”
“I-I love you.”
You gave off an airy chuckle as if you couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. And with that you ended the call, those being one of the last words you’ll be saying to him until the meetings between the two of you and your divorce lawyers.
---
“Y/n?” A muffled voice called out, pulling you out of your sleep along with knocks on your door
You pushed yourself off the bed, throwing the hotel blankets off your body. It was late at night, you went back home after your impromptu visit with your mother. You packed up what you could in one go before stuffing it in your car. You couldn’t see Izuku after that, so you tried your best to remove any trace of yourself from that house. You were just about to fall asleep, the tv playing a random 90s show for background noise. Digging through one of your suitcases, you found a robe to wrap around your body before moving towards the door.
You summoned lightning in one hand as you checked who was at the door. Seeing red-and-white hair, along with a bright blue eye and a dull grey eye, you took a deep sigh of relief before slowly opening the door. Standing there, wearing a raincoat and holding a closed umbrella was Shoto Todoroki. His hair that grew since high school was pulled back in a ponytail as he looked down upon with concerned eyes.
“Y/n…”
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as he said your name. You then opened them back up before giving him a sad smile.
“Shoto… can I help you?” You leaned against the doorway, placing a hand in your waist.
“I heard from Izuku, the two of you are getting a divorce?”
You leaned into the hallway, looking to see if anyone saw him before pulling him into your hotel room. You closed the door and locked it behind you immediately before turning on the light. Shoto looked around the luxury rented room, seeing all of your suitcases and other items stacked up against a wall. Feeling your hands tremble, you sat on your bed, folding your hands underneath themselves.
“How did-“ your voice came out raspy and dry, so you cleared your throat before speaking again.
“How did you find me? I didn’t tell anyone where I was.”
Shoto simply smiled, “being the #3 hero has its perks. I figured you didn’t want a lot of people crowding around you so I said I’d talk to you.”
Hearing that, you lifted your head swiftly, “people already know about the divorce?”
Shot shrugged off his raincoat, revealing the long sleeve black turtleneck he was wearing. He placed his umbrella in a random corner before going to sit beside you on the bed.
“After what happened this morning, Izuku only told us that you’re leaving him… and wouldn’t tell us why. We called everyone, Uraraka, Iida, Kirishima, we even called his mom and All Might… all he said was that his marriage was over. No reason as to why…”
You let out a slight chuckle, your shoulders jumping slightly at the irony of the situation.
“So the only person you could come to was me, right?”
Shoto simply nodded his head, shifting his body closer to you.
“Y/n… I know you… you aren’t this rash person. You wouldn’t come to this decision on a whim. I thought you and Izuku were okay?”
Taking a deep breath, you spoke, “I thought we were okay too… Shoto I… he…”
Your body shuddered and shook as sobs flew out of your mouth. As tears fell, you covered your face and turned away from Shoto, hunching over yourself. That’s when you feel hands, one warm and the other cold, pull at you, grabbing at your waist before pulling you into a warm body. Shoto’s comforting hands and his placing you on the fireside of his body allowed him to let it all out once again. He didn’t say a word, only letting out soft shushes in your ear as you continued to cry.
You could hear nothing else other than the air conditioning and your cries echo throughout your room. It felt like an eternity before you slowly started to quiet down. Taking a deep breath, you slowly pushed yourself out of Shoto’s hold before getting up to get a water bottle. Shoto, his eyes still shining with concern, said nothing as you twisted the cap open and drank half the bottle.
As the pudding of your head slowly went away, you placed the bottle on the desk before sitting back on the bed.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry my eyes out all over you,” you apologized, grabbing one of the pillows to hold closer to your body.
Shoto shook his head, waving off your concerns, “it’s okay, it’s black anyways.”
You just nodded your head and looked away.
“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong? Why are you and Izuku getting a divorce?”
You took a deep breath, your mind racing with everything you’ve been through… the day you met Izuku, the day you asked him out for the first time, the day he asked to be your girlfriend, the day he proposed… the day you two got married… everything.
“Izuku… he cheated on me…”
It was silent after that, the buzz of the air conditioning and the beeps of the cars below the two of you filling the tense air.
“He… he what?”
You bit your bottom lip as you spoke again, “he cheated on me, with Mellissa, you remember her right? Melissa Shield? All Might’s “niece”?”
Shoto nodded his head, shifting his body to face forward as he leaned forward, using his hands to steady himself. He lifted his head to the ceiling as he fully processed your words.
“Oh… oh wow… I never thought that he would do that.”
You scoffed, flopping back into the bed, “well me neither, and yet… here we are.”
You started to laugh, laugh at this situation, laugh at here you are now. God, everything was so fucked, wasn’t it? Feeling the bed shift, you could feel Shoto lay down on the bed beside you. He wrapped his arms around you before pulling you into him once again, this time leaving you on his right side so you could cool down. The feeling left sighing, leaning into his touch even more.
“Izuku is an absolute idiot, and I’m glad that you’re leaving him at the first sight of disrespect.”
Coming from Todoroki and his background, those meant a lot to you. You smiled before lifting your head to look at him.
“Thanks, Shoto, that means a lot.”
He smiled, before slowly removing his hands from your waist.
“I should let you sleep, I just wanted to come to check up on you.” He bent over to grab at his umbrella before turning around to grab his raincoat.
Sniffling, you nodded your head, wiping away your tears before getting up to see him off, “thanks for coming to check up on me… even though the way you found me was a little creepy.”
—-
You officially divorced three months after that day, Izuku tried to hold out as long as he could but soon enough even the number one hero couldn't hold out that long. The number of times you had to tell him you weren't going to come back to him was astounding, his stubbornness knew no bounds. You allowed Izuku to keep the house and he was to pay you a hefty amount of alimony along with the money he was to pay you for spousal distress.
When news came out that the number one hero and his wife would be divorcing, the media went into a frenzy. Even bigger than the one about your wedding. You had to rely on your family to help you out until the news and paparazzi left you alone. It was even worse on Deku, being the top hero and not even able to save his marriage? Talk about a blow to his reputation, it almost cost him the #1 spot. If it wasn't for the Incident at the Kasona Mall, where a villain decided to blow up a mall, where he saved over 50 people in one swoop, Bakugo would have finally been able to claim that #1 spot.
Speaking of pro-heroes.
H/n is back on the scene! Officially signing with The Todoroki Agency!!
You were a pro-hero again, stepping back into the spotlight after over six years. After not much deliberation, and encouragement from friends alike, you decided to come out of retirement once more. You had to retake the licensing process and test of course, but you passed with ease. Being a hero was almost like riding a bike, it was ingrained within you. After The Hero Commission reinstated you, you got so many offers. From Fatgum to LeMillion, and Gang Orca. However, you already promised a certain person that you would join up with him.
“You sure you want me Shoto?” You were sitting in his penthouse, visiting him after he got hurt in the Incident at Kasona mall.
The two of you had gotten closer ever since that day he found you in your hotel room. He helped you get back on your feet, helped you pick out a new house to live in, (since you left the house to Izuku), and helped you study to retake the test. He nodded, shifting his position on his couch. The movement however, caused him to wince as he had to move his arm, which slung into a cast. You immediately got up and helped him move into a more comfortable position without straining himself. He thanked you for the help as you sat back down, grabbing your glass of wine.
“Yeah, you were an amazing hero when you were active years ago. I know this is a decision I’ll lose no sleep over.”
You chuckled, sipping on the wine he put out for the two of you. He smiled softly at you, his intense stare causing your body to heat up slightly, or that could be from the alcohol, you honestly didn't know. You licked your lips, shifting your legs to help lessen that heated throb between your thighs.
“Alright, I guess I’m joining your agency.”
You grew out of your old outfit, so with the help of Hatsume and other designers, you got a whole new outfit. Instead of the original leotard/bodysuit you had when you were younger, along with the thigh boots, it all connected into all one large jumpsuit. It was black with purple accents adorning all across the outfit along with a brand new cape. You turned around, summoning clouds to lift you as you twirled around. Hatsume, the designer who made your new hero costume, Hokkaido, and Mina, who you also told about the true reason you and Izuku got divorced, all smiled as you felt out your new outfit.
“Well?” Mina asked, smiling as you landed on your feet.
You turned around, trailing your hands down your body, feeling the aft fabric and metal accents clash together on your body before smiling at yourself in the mirror.
“I love it.”
Your office was on the same floor as Shoto’s, him constantly relying on your knowledge and wisdom on other matters. The two of you were the leaders in the recent missions the two of you had taken together. This whole process was a lot like riding a bike, coming back easily. You had missed this, you had missed this so much, and you could tell the world and missed you too.
The media accepted your return with open arms, jumping right back to the top 20s. You were a very powerful hero after all.
After three months of coming back, making it six months since your divorce, your parents decided to throw a party for you. To celebrate you coming back, and ranking high on the Billboard Chart in so little time. You tried to get yourself out of it but they took no excuses. So you decided to make the most of it, you felt like a whole new woman. Placing your braids in a bun, you wore a strapless black velvet dress with matching long-sleeved gloves. You slipped on some ankle-strap, black stilettos, and pearl jewelry set to complete the look. The party was small but it was filled with life, all of your old classmates and even your old co-workers from your old agency even came. Mina, Jirou, Tsu, and even Yaomomo, as busy as she is, came. Kirishima even got Bakugou to come. Everyone was so excited to see you come out of retirement and take to the streets again. Some did try to pry into your broken relationship with Izuku, but you just ignored them and told them to enjoy themselves at the party.
“Y/n.”
You turned around to see Shoto standing there with two champagne flutes in his hands. You smiled and walked up to him, hands extended out for a hug. He wrapped his arms around the best he could with the two drinks in his hands. You giggled at his struggle as he tried to step back without spilling the drinks.
“I see your hands are full, Boss.” You winked as you took one of the flutes of champagne out of his hands.
He just chuckled as you guys cheered, clinking your glasses together before taking a sip. As the sweet liquid hit your tongue, your eyes trailed down his body at the suit he was wearing. All black suit with the jacket, with a white dress shirt, red tie and tailored to perfection. You licked your lips as he breathed in, seeing his chest press up against the white fabric. Clearing your throat, you pulled your eyes away from his chest as you looked up at him finishing his drink. You smiled at him and he returned it as he placed the glasses on an empty table.
“You seem so much happier.” You heard Shoto comment behind you.
You turned to face him and couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow.
“What do you mean?”
Shoto walked up to you, the proximity between you two making your heart pound this a little faster. He leaned down, using his right hand to make you look in his eyes.
“When you first announced your retirement, and when I saw you after that… I do not doubt that you were happy but…” he trailed, his grip on your chin tightening slightly.
“But… but what?” You let out a whisper, feeling his thumb softly move against your skin.
“There was still this sadness in your eyes, that I could never pinpoint but now… I can’t see it at all.” He let go of you after that, taking a couple of steps back.
You took another deep breath, pressing a hand against your chest to feel your beating heart.
Smiling at Shoto, “thank you, that means a lot.”
The two of you continued to drink together, whether it be champagne or something stronger. The more the drinks came around you two, the two of you drank, and the more you two drank, the more handsy the two of you got. Shoto’s arms never left your waist and would find themselves trailing lower and lower down your body. You would find ways and excuses to slowly caress his face or his chest. The two of you would just get closer and closer. Luckily, most everyone around was drunk so even if they did notice, it was unlikely that they would notice. Soon enough, people began to leave, wishing you the best of luck and congratulations.
Then it was just the two of you. Shoto, despite being as drunk as you are, helped carry you to your bed upstairs. As he laid you in the bed, you reached out to him, pulling him down onto you and your bed. You giggled as he flopped on his back, allowing you to quickly straddle him.
“Y/n,” he giggled, he was more emotional, happy drunk, “Y/n why are you doing?”
You smiled, licking and biting at your lips as your hands trailed down his body. Feeling at his chest, before trailing down his abs, your hands and fingers going ever ripple and ridge on his body before landing right in the top of his pelvic area, feeling his hard-on poke out through his slacks. You hissed slowly as you began to rock into him, your dress riding up with every movement you made. Your movements caused him to whisper curses under his breath, his hips buck as he grabbed onto your waist tightly. You gripped at his shoulders as he guided you up and down his waist, his touch leaving your skin electrified, the opposite temperatures causing trembles throughout your body. You then leaned down to plant light kisses against his neck
“You’re so fucking handsome,” you whispered against his skin, your fingers fumbling with the buttons on his dress shirt.
He just smirked before flipping you on your back, using his knee to spread your legs.
——
It was a week after the party and you had just gotten back from your shift of patrol. It was early in the morning, say almost 4 am, and you were ready to go home and get some sleep. Saying goodbye to your sidekick, you walked towards your office to get some final papers before going home. As you opened the door, you could feel dull light entering your vision. So you turned and followed where it was coming from only to find yourself right outside of Shoto’s door. That’s where you could hear the argument.
“Izuku I—”
“NO— I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU, YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH MY EX-WIFE!”
“I think you’re the last person to be concerned about what she does now!”
“You’re one of my closest friends, I’ve known you the longest! And you just stab me in the back like this!?”
“I think that you should leave Izuku before I make you. What Y/n and I have, it’s none of your business.”
You could hear a slam, and hear something break before hearing heavy stomps echo throughout the room. You hoped it didn’t come to them full-on fighting, you knew Shoto could handle himself against, however, when Izuku was mad, Lord did he get mad. You hope you won't have to face him again, after all this time.
“I don’t want to hear a word you have to say!! I should have known, you’ve ALWAYS been chasing after her! Since our time at U.A!
You tilted your head at that, confused at what he meant. Shoto has been chasing after you since high school? You thought that Shoto always had a thing for Yaomomo, despite her and Jirou getting engaged recently. It was because of that, you believed Shoto had shifted his focus onto you…
“So what? I thought I left her in good hands, out of all my friends, you were the ONLY one that I thought could give her a good life. I thought you could love her and only be with her! Now I see that I couldn’t even trust you with that! So you don’t get to decide how she spends her time and who she spends it with! Not after what you did to her!”
It went quiet after that, but you could still see the heavy breathing out of both of them. You bit your lip, heart pounding as you grasped at the wall, staring to hear to see if they speak under their breath.
“What… what are you talking about?”
“She told me… she told me what you did... How you cheated on her with Melissa. Don’t give me that look, I’m not gonna tell anyone. She asked me not to, it’ll do no one any good if it got all. They’ll just hound her for months for this.”
You could feel your body begin to rock back and forth, you could feel the tension rising all the way from the place where you would stand.
“So I say again, you have no right to have any say about what she does in her own time. Even when she was married to you, she was never yours! She’s her own woman, and after being suffocated by you, she deserves to do whatever she wants. I’ll be here, no matter what, and I’ll stick by her because that’s what people who truly love someone do!”
You couldn’t help but smile at his words, you could feel tears swell in your waterline. Taking a deep breath, you stood up slowly, brushing off any dirt or dust collected on your lap before walking towards the door. You gave a knock on the door, before slowly turning the doorknob to reveal a trashed office. Plants turning upside down, smaller tables flipped around, and books spread all across the floor. Your eyes then landed on the two of them, standing behind the bigger office desk. Izuku was holding Shoto by his shirt, and the two of them had intense looks on their faces. You took another deep breath, seeing the way Izuku looks after so long. He grew out his beard, despite him hating it so much. His already scruffy, curly hair grew even more unruly. His eyes turned towards you, the shock after seeing you so long causing him to lose his grip on Shoto.
“Y/n…”
You closed your eyes and rolled your neck before closing the door behind you.
“Shoto is correct, what I do with my time is absolutely none of your business Izuku. We’re done, we’ve been done for six months. If I’m going, to be honest, we’ve been done for a year… since you had an affair with Melissa for six months as well,” you stated, slowly walking up towards the two of them.
“So what I do with him, what I do with anyone… is no longer your business. Now get out!”
Izuku stood there, shocked at your words, slowly turning his body to face you.
“Y/n I…” You made a motion with your hands, quieting him.
“Izuku Midoriya, get out now!”
He jumped back, before turning back to Shoto, giving him one last glare before walking past you towards the door. You kept your back towards him, and the door as well, as he opened it before walking out, shutting it behind him. With that, you then turned to the last man standing in the room. You gave him a soft smile, slowly shaking your head as you amble across to him. You placed your hands on his biceps as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He smiled down at you, before leaning in for a soft kiss. You chuckled and smiled into the kiss, tightening your grip on his arms. You could feel the grip you had on you tighten with every second of the kiss. Once you let go, you slowly reached up to caress the side of his face with the scar with your hand.
“You look stressed… is it because of your day? Or because of the walking trash that just walked out?”
He chuckled softly at your words, shaking his head. You smiled as you walked towards his desk, moving some of the papers off before sitting on top of his desk. Shoto gave you an up and down glance, before walking towards you and standing in between your legs.
“So… why was Izuku here?” You asked him, rubbing at his shoulders and arms.
Shoto took a deep breath before leaning forward and laying his head on top of your shoulders.
“He came up here, accusing me of different things. I never found out he found out that the two of us were seeing each other… I was more focused on other things…”
Izuku was always so stubborn, that could be a good or bad thing depending on who side you were on. You sighed, nodding your head as you wrapped your arms around him.
“Let’s go to your place? I’m really tired and I honestly just want to get as much sleep as I can.”
You could feel Shoto smile into your shoulder, before nodding. You were about to push him off of you, so you could both get what you need and walk out together, a sudden force whooshed you off your feet, arms grabbing at you and carrying you in a bridal position.
“Shoto!” You squealed, holding on to his shoulders.
He just softly chuckled once more, as he carried you out of the office, nothing but smiles on the two of you’s faces.
___
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hanjizung · 3 years ago
Text
♡ What Love Is ♡
Han Jisung x Reader.
Word count:  10K
♡ Warnings ♡: Smut; non idol AU, DILF!Jisung, older Jisung, OC (kid), possession kink, marking kink, oral (f), overstimulation, begging, masturbation, shower sex, exhibitionism, fingering, creampie, aftercare.
A/N: Finally the second part to Modern Vintage is here. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and please let me know what you think of it! ♡
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Summer coming closer could mean many things; families spent more time together since children weren’t going to school anymore, couples had more dates and groups of friends went to eat from time to time to catch up. Overall, most places were fuller during summer, especially beaches since the sun was incredibly hot. You knew some people loved to go out in summer, maybe to travel or to visit some relatives.
Even knowing how summer as a customer was, working in the coffee shop during the season was another experience, some days it was too empty, then on the weekends too full and some days you didn’t even have enough time to eat. Adding to the stress of working during this season, but luckily, summer was just about to end and since you decided to take summer classes to fasten your graduation and get your degree sooner, you were almost completely over which meant that you would be able find a better place to work and help Jisung pay the bills.
A smile appeared on your face when you thought of him. The two of you had been together for almost a little over a year now; he stopped working in the coffee shop with you  after his best friends from college offered him an opportunity to work with them as a producer in their company, that had been a month after the weekend the two of you spent without Jisu, both of them showed up at his night job, (which you learned, he worked at a nightclub as a DJ and he was really awesome at it) asking him to take a moment and go with them for a talk. The next morning you found him drinking coffee in the kitchen, still thinking of accepting or declining, smiling and kissing you when you encouraged him to take the offer.
Since then, he told Minho and Felix about it, and they congratulated him and told him that he would still get the employee discounts whenever he stopped by to visit them (and you, of course.) The Lee brothers, more than being your bosses, they treated the two of you like good friends and worried about you like they were family. You still remember Felix’s face when he saw you kissing Jisung goodbye while Jisu hugged her dad tightly, a grin on Felix’s lips that made him look like a mischievous cat.
“Didn’t I tell you it would be only a matter of time?” he said, startling both Jisung and you, making you turn to look at him laughing, a slight blush coloring your cheeks.
“Felix, you knew we would end up together since he brought Jisu here” you objected, rolling your eyes playfully. “What kind of witchcraft did you do, hmm? Tell me your secret!” you joked, getting closer to him and hugging him lovingly. He hugged you back and patted your hair as if you were Jisu.
“I have eyes, Y/N. I could see the both of you drooling for each other when you worked the same hours” he explained, his brows raised as he turned from you to Jisung, who just like you had his face painted with a blush.
“Oh” Jisung said, scratching the back of his head with his free arm and laughing awkwardly. “I mean, you’re not wrong, Lix. I liked Y/N since the very first time I saw her mess up a drink” your boyfriend said, winking at you.
“Are you saying that messing drinks is the way to get to your heart, Sungie?” you asked, acting as serious as you could, “because if that’s the case, I won’t let you be in the kitchen when I’m teaching Jeongin how to do the difficult ones” you finished, making both of the men in front of you laugh.
“Ah, he doesn’t mess up as much though, I admit Jisung used to be messier than him. Jeongin’s a good boy, he learns quickly like you, Y/N. I’m glad that we hired him, I feel like the place is fuller since he’s been here” Felix said, crossing his arms over his chest and caressing his invisible beard as he looked at Jeongin who was writing down an order. 
He noticed the four pairs of eyes on him and waved to where you were awkwardly. Minho had announced not too long ago that since the coffee shop had been doing better than before now you were short staffed, and since he was planning on giving you a little vacation he made the decision of hiring someone else to help, and that's how you ended up meeting sweet Jeongin, whose cute face contributed to more daily customers as well as Felix's delicious baked desserts. 
Since you were the last person hired, it was your job to teach him everything you knew. He had been there for just three weeks now, and he was a little shy just like you were when you first started working there, but as days passed he joined the talented chefs that you had for bosses and started teasing you and Jisung every now and then. 
The coffee shop never closed, it was open all the seven days of the week, but when Jisung was offered a new spot with his good friends, you decided to throw a party to celebrate, inviting the Lee's and Jeongin, and of course, Jisu's uncles; Chan and Changbin. You also took the opportunity to invite your ex roommate, who happened to visit you at work and the one who you would constantly text when something interesting happened. Jisung said that since the party would be the first time you'd be meeting his best friends, and since he already knew your roommate that you should invite your best friend from college, so after calling him and asking him if he was free he accepted. 
The big important day came, and Jisung dressed with his nicest clothes, putting on that one cologne he knew you loved so much. The party would happen at your department, so when he was ready he announced that he would be rushing to get the missing food before all your guests appeared, leaving you and Jisu to finish getting ready. 
You helped her get ready first, dressing her with a beautiful navy blue dress that she adored since the moment she saw it, then you did her hair and told her to draw something to everyone coming to the party while you got ready as well. 
When you walked out of the room fully dressed, Jisung and Jeongin's back were turned at you. They were talking on the couch, a movie was playing on the turned on television as they talked without paying any attention to the screen, but the conversation soon died when your boyfriend stood up after hearing footsteps behind him. He stared at you, his mouth hanging and a quiet wow leaving his lips as he moved quickly to embrace you and kiss you, ready to whisper how beautiful you looked and how lucky he was to have you. 
"Woah, you look so pretty! You look like a queen, queen Y/N!" Jisu exclaimed, joining her dad and running to hug your legs. Jeongin saw the whole scene, chuckling. 
"You look amazing, Y/N. Honestly, if you and Jisung weren't together I would be inviting you for a drink as soon as I saw you" he joked, raising one of his eyebrows making you laugh. 
"Guess that's too bad for you then, Jeonginnie, she's all mine" Jisung said, pressing a kiss on your cheek and then leaving your side to sit on the couch again. 
Jisu left you to go sit on her dad's lap, and when you were just to sit on the other couch your phone rang, your best friend's photo showing on the screen as you smiled apologetic at the two men in front of you and you walked away to answer. 
"Hi, Y/N. I'm in the building, what floor is it?" his voice greeted you. He was always like this, going straight to the point. 
"The fifth floor, the door number is 190" you told him, hearing through the line how he walked into the elevator and pressed the buttons. "See you soon" you told each other before hanging up. 
You were excited to see him, it wasn't everyday that the two of you got to be at a nice event or even to a party like this, he wasn't a party guy much, and you always went out with your beloved roommate, Chunghee.
You walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and when you were coming back to the living room you heard knocking on the door. Smiling and placing your glass down, you walked excitedly to it and opened with a big smile on your lips, already knowing who it was. 
"Seungmin!" you exclaimed, throwing your arms around him carefully and hugging him tightly. He responded to the hug politely, patting your back two times and then separating his arms from you, a little shy since it was the first time he was in the presence of your boyfriend. You moved away from him to let him step inside, taking his hand in yours and closing the door behind you. 
"Jisung, Jisu, Jeongin, I present to you my best friend! Seungmin, you already met Jeongin, and this…" you left Seungmin's side to stand behind Jisung who still had Jisu in his lap, they looked at your friend with the same eyes full of curiosity "... Is my family" you finished, smiling at him, your head tilted to the side as you locked eyes with Jisung for a brief moment before returning your eyes to your best friend. 
"It's nice to meet you in person and not just thought pictures" Seungmin greeted, a timid smile on his lips that gained a chuckle from Jisung who responded that it was nice to see him as well, and so you proceeded to sit with Seungmin by your side and start a small conversation with him. 
The room fell silent for a few seconds, the TV working as background noise only until a knock on your door and voices sounding from behind it let you know that Felix and Minho had finally arrived. Jisu opened the door, rushing to get there first and throw herself at the first pair of legs that would be in front of her, making Minho laugh as he struggled to hold a box of something in his hands without it falling. Felix rushed to help his brother by freeing him from the kid's grip, taking Jisu in his arms and squishing her playfully. 
"Hey, welcome!" Jisung greeted, standing up from the couch along with Jeongin to help the two men with the things they were carrying; a cake and something that looked like it was probably ice cream. One of Felix's new experiments, possibly, but you figured that if he had brought it on that special day, it would be an advanced approved recipe. 
"We're so happy to be here, I can't wait to meet Jisung's new bosses. Are they here yet? Are they more handsome than us? Y/N?" Felix asked, lifting Jisu in the air dramatically, making her giggle and turning to you when he was saying the last part, his accusative eyes scanning you. 
"They haven't arrived yet, we'll meet them at the same time, Lix" you laughed, standing up yourself and hugging Minho first, then him. He smiled at you, and then noticed Seungmin who was still sitting where you were, his extroverted self wasted no time and he made his way there, dragging you along with him. 
"Hello, we haven't been introduced yet, I think? If you've heard nice things about a Lee Felix then that's me, but if all you've heard of him are complaints, then it's not me anymore" he joked, presenting his hand to your best friend who laughed politely at his joke. 
"Kim Seungmin, Y/N's friend" he shook Felix's hand and then patted Jisu’s head since she was still in Felix’s arms, offering both of them shy smile along with it. It was so heartwarming to have all your friends and family interacting with each other.
A phone going off distracted you and everyone in the room turned to meet the owner who simply smiled shyly, turning his back and answering. You could hear Jisung’s voice through the introductions of the people who were currently in your house. You watched all of them with a fond smile, but the sudden sensation of an arm wrapping around your waist scared you a little bit, making you turn your face to find your beloved boyfriend who placed a kiss on your cheek, whispering to you that he would be leaving shortly to get his friends. 
You nodded and sat next to Minho on the couch, he was on his phone until he noticed you, straightening his back and smiling briefly at you. He asked how you were doing and how you were feeling about Jisung’s new path, you said that you felt happy for him and that your current concern was that you wanted to graduate to help; your conversation with him finished rather quickly, as the door opened and two strange men walked in through the door, the subject of your conversation with Minho staying behind them and closing the door.
“Everyone, they are my friends and now coworkers, Chan and Changbin,” Jisung announced, taking advantage of the silence that reigned on your little home to present his best friends, a intimidating looking man almost his height with a deadly gaze and a slightly taller one, blond guy who was smiling openly and showing his dimples. 
Jisung stepped forward, a big smile on his face as his hand took yours and pulled you in front of his friends. You weren’t sure why, but your face started feeling a bit hot and you were a little afraid that if you tried to speak, you would stutter instead of speaking properly. To you it almost felt like you were meeting his parents, your nerves getting the best of you.
“Guys this is Y/N, you already know her a little from what I’ve told you” he laughed, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment, his cheeks also a rosy color just like yours were.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” the blond one said, offering you his hand for you to take. You did, extending your shaky hand to him and shaking it, then doing the same with Changbin. 
Your ray of sunshine boyfriend must’ve felt the awkwardness you were irradiating, since he wasted no time in coming to your rescue and started presenting everyone else to them, except Jisu who left Felix to hug Changbin and tell him to pick her up so she could kiss his cheek. While he was busy with introductions, Seungmin approached you quietly, looking at you with a soft smile.
“You okay?” he asked, bumping your shoulder with his own. You looked at him with questioning eyes that only made him chuckle at you. “You looked like you were very nervous,” he explained. 
Closing your eyes, you sighed. “I was! It felt like a meteor hit me, but instead of a space rock, it was reality” you whispered-screamed, looking at your friend with big eyes that soon turned soft when your gaze fell on them. “They seem really nice, though. I’m glad to know that Jisung wasn’t all alone before I met him, you know?” 
“You really do love him, Y/N. I’m glad he makes you this happy” Seungmin smiled at you, his voice full of honesty that made you feel like you had the key to happiness in that exact moment.
The rest of the evening passed faster than you would like to admit; your little home was full with the chattering noises from your guests and chill music playing in the background. The dinner went good too, the table was full and it was like a Christmas dinner or similar, the table full and laughter being a constant proof of the nice atmosphere. Any sign of the existing awkward silence created when Chan and Changbin appeared was long gone now, and you learned a little more about them and how they met with Jisung just like they learned how the two of you ended up together, a story told with additions from almost everyone saying that they always knew how hard you were pining for each other.
Chan started telling how he happened to meet both of his friends; he explained that he met Changbin one night at a party, Chan was the dj and Changbin reached to him to ask him how he managed a cut between two song without it being so obvious (Changbin laughed, exclaiming that even if Chan taught him how to do it, he remembered how the first time he heard it he was shocked.)
Then, both of them usually hung out by the library where Chan mentored Changbin, and one day they saw Jisung with a guitar practicing and decided to ask him what he was doing. Since that day, the three of them started getting curious about song producing, and so they decided to give it a try, being that and their first demo songs the start of a beautiful blooming friendship that lead to where they are now. 
When Chan mentioned their demo songs, you gave Jisung a side eye that clearly translated to him as ‘you’re gonna have to show me those songs’, a look that didn’t Changbin must’ve also caught since he said that those songs weren’t too good and that ‘it was better for everyone to not listen to them’, now making everyone want to listen to them more.
Later, Felix went to your fridge to take the ice cream he had brought and started serving it to everyone with your help. Little Jisu was over the moon because she was finally going to try one of the secret recipes of ice creams that she saw Felix perfecting at the coffee shop, and so more memories were talked upon all of you, not only about the trio of friends, but also about Seungmin and you being childhood friends, then the Lee brothers motivated by Chan’s story decided to tell how they knew they wanted to open the coffee shop. Jeongin opened up too, talking about how he had a lot of doubt joining his current career, but saying that he knew everything would eventually pay off. The evening contributed to you getting to know everyone a little more.
Almost at 10, Jisu was sleepily sitting on Changbin’s lap, you were surprised to see how much she stayed by his side and how the man didn’t seem to mind being with her, it was a little funny too because he seemed to be so tough on the outside, but really all he allowed to see in the few hours he spent in your house he was a softy, and Jisu really knew how to bring that side out of him. When you noticed the little bubbly girl was asleep, you stood up and walked to where he was, but when he realized that Jisu was comfortably dreaming, he stopped you. 
“I’ll take her to her room, where is it?” he asked. You smiled at him as a thanks and guided him there, leaving the noisy living room to Jisu’s dark and silent bedroom. 
You turned on the light for Changbin who was right behind you, and you watched him tuck her in the bed so carefully, like he had done it before. Curiosity got the best of you and you decided to ask him.
“Have you put her to bed before?” your voice came a little quiet, careful to not wake Jisu. Changbin hummed, looking at the sleeping angel in front of him and nodded.
“Yeah, when her mom left, Chan and I were all Jisung had, but we couldn’t help him often, and then we were called with an offer in America and we left.” You listened to him while he was staring at Jisu, your mind imagining these three men trying to take care of a baby, sweet scenarios playing in your head of them learning how to change a diaper and getting scared whenever she cried. “Let’s go back,” his voice brought you down to earth, and he waited for you to step out before turning off the light and closing the door behind him, like a gentleman.
Seeing you walking out of Jisu’s room, your boyfriend watched as you approached the living room with a smile on his face, and when you were close enough he opened his arms for you to take a seat on his lap. You happily did what he desired, kissing his cheek when he wrapped his arms around you. No one in the room was looking at you, too busy paying attention to a horror story Minho was saying from when he was in college to mind the two of you. 
Jeongin was sitting by the table, a piece of cake in front of him that he was eating until he was interrupted thanks to a notification on his phone. When he grabbed it, he saw the hour and he stood up.
“I didn’t know it was this late, I should be leaving, my roommate texted me saying he’s worried” he explained, being the center of attention. On the other couch, Seungmin stretched and stood up as well.
“I can take you home if you want,” Seungmin said, looking in his pocket for his car keys while he waited for Jeongin’s answer. The younger one nodded and added that it would be nice of him to drop him by his apartment.
“Thank you guys for coming, have a good night” you told them when they waved goodbye to everyone. 
“Thanks for receiving us. Congratulations on your new job, Jisung” Seungmin spoke again, shaking Jisung’s hand while Jeongin hugged you and thanked you as well.
After them, Felix yawned and Minho teased him, saying that he was just like Jisu, to which Felix laughed and said that he could be right. They made their way to the front door and said their goodbyes to the rest of you, and that resulted in just you and the producers. Jisung offered to drive them to their new shared apartment.
That’s how you found yourself in the co-pilot's seat with Chan and Changbin sitting in the back giving directions to Jisung who was driving. It reminded you of the first time you got in the car with him and took care of Jisu, then you smiled when your memory replayed all the times you sat there talking with Jisung and admiring him while he drove, he always looked for your hand or rested his on your thigh during red lights.
While Chan was giving directions to Jisung, Changbin chatted a little with you, telling you that he wasn’t too excited to go to his new house because there was a pure mess of boxes and half unpacked stuff everywhere except for their beds.
“I forgot how much I disliked moving,” Chan sighed, eyes closed as he paid close attention to the window. Changbin agreed with him.
Once you were finally there, you saw them coming out of the car. You took Jisung’s hand and with a look you told him to stay there. “We should help them, Sung,” you said. He nodded, knowing that you would be worried if you didn’t voice your kind offer to help your new friends.
“Chan, Changbin, would you like some help unpacking?” Jisung said, helping you out of the car. They were standing nearby, waiting for you two to leave and being surprised when Jisung hurried to open your door.
“Nah, it’s okay. You should go back home, though, it’s pretty late,” Changbin answered after exchanging a quick look with Chan who looked at his phone, probably to check the hour.
“We got this, don’t worry. Thanks for driving us,” Chan contributed, watching Jisung walking slowly to the driver’s seat again. “See you on Monday, Jisung, and see you later Y/N, it was very nice to meet you” he smiled.
“Alright, but make sure to call us if you need anything. See you on Monday” and with that, Jisung started the car and you left. You had no idea when on the way back you fell asleep, but the next time you opened your eyes, the car was slowing down and you could recognize the familiarity of your building’s parking.
“We’re home, baby, wake up” Jisung’s sweet voice called you. You blinked one, two times before sighing and taking off the security belt, stepping out of the car and stretching. You waited for him to do the same and walk together to your department.
“Your friends are really nice, I’m happy you’re gonna work with them. Are you excited?” you asked once in the elevator, looking at him.
“Yeah, I’m excited. It’s been so long since we made a song together or shared ideas for lyrics,” he said, smiling at you and hugging you, pressing a kiss on your face. You closed your eyes, accepting it without saying anything and just enjoying the moment. It was small moments like this when you were glad to start working at the coffee shop.
The elevator stopped at your floor, and the two of you made your way to your comfy apartment. You sighed, knowing that you would have to clean and put away everything that was on the table. When the door opened you finally took off the heels you opted to wear for the occasion, sighing in satisfaction when your feet touched the cold ground. Jisung only looked at you with a soft smile on his face, and he walked up behind you, passing one of his arms under your knees and picking you up bridal style.
“Sungie! What are you doing?” you squealed, acting quickly and holding onto him, afraid that you would fall. Your boyfriend didn’t answer you, instead he smirked at you and kept walking to your room. Once in there, he somehow managed to turn on the light before letting you gently on the bed.
Hovering above you, you were able to see the lust in his eyes before he closed them and finally kissed your lips passionately. Your hands, still on his neck, pulled him even closer to you. You sighed on the kiss, moving one of your hands to his chest and the other tangling in his hair. Jisung took this as an invitation to straddle you, supporting himself with one arm and caressing your face with the other hand.
Soon, the intensity of the kiss ended when he separated to breathe again, pressing kisses on your chin and then travelling down your throat.
“This dress looks so good on you, honey, but I prefer how you look without it. I’ve been thinking about it all day, taking it off you. I’m so lucky that I’m the only one to get to see you like this” he whispered, his voice husky, making you shiver. 
It wasn’t the first time he attacked you like this; it was mostly on special occasions, and usually he asked someone to take care of Jisu, the other times you two had sex it was very late into the night and rather quickly to avoid the exposure to accidents, so him suddenly acting guided by his instincs and fucking you like it was only the two of you in the whole world was one of the last ways you imagined today would end.
“W-wait, Jisung, close the door first” you warned him, pushing him off you. He quickly nodded, making his way to the door and closing it, also locking it and then, he walked slowly towards you who was now sitting on the bed, looking at him with needy eyes. 
His hands went to his belt, slowly undoing it making you bite your lip. He took it off and let it rest at the feet of the bed, now taking his shirt and starting to pull it up until he was in front of you, finally taking that piece of clothing off from his body. Your legs hung open, allowing him to stand between them as one of your hands played with the hem of his pants, you looked at him through your lashes and he placed one hand on your head, patting you dearly before it went down to cup your face and he bended to kiss you, this time more sweetly than before. 
He pushed you gently so you would be on your back, he kissed the exposed skin on your neck, being careful to not leave any hickies since he knew how much you struggled to cover them when you had to go out, he was always mindful of you, unless he wanted to show off that you belonged to him, then he would mark up your neck so prettily for everyone to see. 
He kneeled on the floor, his nose on your thigh sensually caressing you all the way to your right knee, his hands hiking up the skirt of your beautiful dress and then resting now on your hips, exposing your undergarment. Then, one of his hands moved to hold the back of your thigh to put your leg on his shoulder. 
Since the moment he kneeled down on the floor, your mind played images of the countless times Jisung's face was hidden between your legs making you crazy, allowing you to see stars when his magical tongue brought you over the edge. It was inevitable to contain yourself, your pussy getting wet since he started pressing kisses on your legs, torturing preparing you for the orgasm he would soon bring you.
A sigh escaped your lips as you let yourself enjoy the moment, he was holding your other leg open with his hand, allowing him full entrance to your now ruined panties. You were lucky you decided to match the pretty dress with your favorite set of lingerie. He hummed in approval when he saw your wetness.
He had you whimpering lowly, you knew you had to keep quiet but as time passed and Jisung decided to admire and tease you instead of doing something to you, you were starting to grow a little impatient.
"Babe…" you cried out, looking at him with pleading eyes "I need you," but he didn't seem like he wanted to pay attention to your cries.
"You need me? Why, baby? What do you need me for?" he answered, his deep voice making you close your eyes and his words provoking a slight blush on your face.
"I'm so wet for you, please…" you said. It was an obvious answer since he could see the mess he made of you. "Want you to eat me out, please…"
His fingers passed through your needy sex, making you sigh one more time. He grunted, but instead of moving your delicate panties to the side, his face got closer and he pressed a sweet kiss on your mound. When he was done teasing you, he moved away and finally started taking off that piece of lingerie, removing your leg from his shoulder and placing it there again once he had freed you from it.
His lips came in contact with your throbbing cunt, making you groan in satisfaction when his tongue skillfully, dragging it from the center of your wetness, taking a sweet moment to taste you and then going for his objective, his arms around your legs to keep you in place for him to torture you oh so deliciously.
You cursed, eyes closed as you permitted him to pleasure you like he knew you adored, your hand pushing him towards you as an encouragement to keep doing what he was doing, and he never stopped. Your hole throbbed, his tongue went up and down, he sucked and teased with his teeth as well, the sensations overwhelming you but becoming more and more intense, Jisung could clearly hear how you were coming apart and losing your mind from the silent posture you wanted to maintain, but he just loved your moans and heavy breathing when he flicked his tongue a certain way, and how you pulled his hair and you tried to arch your back. You were so beautiful, and to him there was nothing better than to see you like this, so flustered and sensitive from how hard he was going to make you cum.
Feeling how you started to shake, one of your hands flew to your mouth when you knew that you wouldn't be able to resist any more of the sweet torment you were a prisoner for, and suddenly, white hot pleasure numbed you and all you could do was lay there, pulling his hair locks and shaking slightly. Jisung never stopped his attack on you, the overstimulation caused by his tongue provoking a few tears from escaping the corners of your eyes, it felt like something new, like you had unblocked a new level of extasis.
Your high finally ended, and just when Jisung heard you breathing again he slowed down. You hadn't realized he put a hand on top of the one over your mouth to help quiet your cries, but you were certainly thankful that he'd done it, because if he hadn't, your neighbors would think he was ending your life or torturing a poor animal, or even worse, you would have a little girl banging on the door thinking you were hurt or something.
"You taste so good, my love, and you were so good to me too, enjoying how I played with your clit" he murmured, wiping his chin from your essence and standing up from the floor, looking at you with those lusty eyes you'd gotten to know so well, "but I still want you to come on my cock too. Look at me, look at the effect you have on me, Y/N…"
Your hand left his hair to clean your sweaty forehead, you tried your best to look at him when he ordered you to, his pants with an obviously painful erection, your eyes not failing to notice a dark spot that could be seen in the fabric.
Jisung undid the button and unzipped his pants, then slipped a hand under his dark boxers to pump himself, grunting from the touch of his hand against his dick, it was a majestic view you had only seen one time in the shower when he was horny but didn't wanted to wake you up.
It had been after a stressful night at the club full of young college students, he went straight to the shower after arriving home and the sound of the water hitting the tiles of the bathroom woke you up. You had sneaked to the bathroom, curious of the complaining noises Jisung made, and there you found him, with his eyes closed, a hand against the wall and the other around his dick moving slowly while he bit his lip, the water droplets running through his naked body making him appear like a Greek God. You kept staring at him working on himself maybe a little too much, because he ended up discovering you and then fucking you carefully in the shower. Truly, an incredible experience that even if it had been a little difficult to manage, you felt it was so worth it.
Finally undressing himself, Jisung stood up between your legs again, his hand on your stomach and he bent to kiss your forehead sweetly.
"You ready, baby?" he asked, waiting for any signal that could mean a positive or negative from you. One of his hands looked for yours to intertwine your fingers. You nodded, swallowing as you thought how good it was to have him filling you, and second later, he did just that. He stretched you as he entered you slowly, his hand squeezing yours next to your head while his other supported his weight, a quiet moan coming from his lips.
"Oh shit, Jisung! Fuck, you feel so good, please" your broken voice managed to speak.
You waited for him to move, but he asked you instead if you trusted him, and simple as that he shifted and now he was standing, your legs around his waist and arms around his neck, his hands on your eyes as he walked somewhere, the destination being your tiny balcony. You thought he wouldn't dare step outside, but he did and the cold air hit you, and not only that, but Jisung also pressed you against the cold glass door of the balcony.
"You better keep quiet, dove, or you'll get us discovered" he warned, proceeding to fuck you slowly as the moonlight illuminated you.
Two mornings after, you showered and got ready to eat breakfast. Jisu was already awake watching some cartoons as her dad hummed while he finished cooking her lunch. "Good morning," you said, going to kiss Jisung's lips and sitting to drink coffee.
"Hey, sweetheart. How do you feel?" Jisung corresponded to your greeting, giving you a quick wink before turning his back to the almost completed food.
"I'm okay, not too tired. Thanks for the coffee, babe. Are you ready for work?" you asked him. He laughed, but he admitted that he was actually nervous since it was something he was very passionate about, it made you happy to see him following his dreams.
When you were done with breakfast, the three of you went to the car, you would drop Jisung first at his friend's company, and then you would leave Jisu at the kindergarten, and you would go to your classes as usual.
"Have a nice first day, Sungie. Love you, I'll see you at home"
"Goodbye, daddy!"
"Thanks, beautiful. Behave well, princess. Love you both" and after you left him, you drove to Jisu's school.
She was always happy to go, she always talked about how her teacher was so pretty and smart, and you couldn't blame her. He was very charming, you would admit, and not only was he nice to the children he teached, but he also cared for the parents too and let everyone know that they could count on him, he was such a lovely spirit, you thought it was a shame Jisung hadn't met him yet, since it was you always dropping Jisu and then going to college while Jisung stayed home and slept after the long and tiresome club nights.
Turning off the car, you got out of the car and opened Jisu's door, helping her out and then walking hand in hand as she excitedly told you that she couldn't wait to see her favorite teacher in the whole world.
"Good morning, Y/N, Jisu" his smooth voice reached your ears when you arrived at the classroom. More kids and parents were saying their goodbyes, luckily Jisu always showed that she was brave and never spent too long hugging you goodbye, too eager to go play with the others kids to mind if you stayed too long after or not.
"Hey, good morning, teacher. How was your weekend?" you asked him, trying to be polite and show that you were a friend for him if he needed to talk just like he was for everyone else.
"Oh, Y/N, I've told you you can just call me Hyunjin, and my weekend was good, thanks for asking. How was yours?" he asked back, looking at your slightly colored cheeks with an adorable eye smile as he reminded you once again to call him by his name.
"My weekend was also nice, thank you, Hyunjin. How-" you were about to say something more, but your alarm that indicated you should better be leaving for your class rang. "Oh, I'm sorry, it seems like I should be leaving for class! See you later."
The professor nodded in understanding, and you turned and left, careful with your steps to not trip and fall to the ground. When you successfully got into your car, you breathed in and exhaled, preparing yourself for the rest of the day.
That was how your new routine was created; first, Jisung woke up and made breakfast, then you dropped him at work and took Jisu to school and you went to college and once you were done with classes you picked up Jisu and went to work at the coffee shop where you would meet with Jisung and the three of you would get home, some weekends still going on trips and enjoying as much time together as you could.
A few months into the new routine, when you were dropping Jisu at school Hyunjin asked you to stay a little more, explaining that there was an upcoming school trip and he was asking you to go as a supervisor. You thanked him, saying that you would try your best to accompany him and the class as well, and sooner than you had expected, the day arrived and Jisung and you were more than ready to go to the aquarium with a lot of other kids and few parents.
The trip was fun, if you had to admit. Seeing all the fish swimming and getting to know more about them was very interesting, and many kids agreed with you when you said that mermaids were very lucky to live underwater with many beautiful species.
Later, Hyunjin announced that it was time for lunch, so everyone had a break to sit down and eat. You were sitting with Jisung next to you, he was drinking from a juice box when Hyunjin approached you and sat with the two of you, addressing you and ignoring the man next to you.
"You're incredibly good with kids, Y/N, and it really shows. They seem to like you a lot" he said, placing a hand on your shoulder, his eyebrows raised as he spoke.
"Well, thank you. I like being with kids, actually, I've always wanted a big family" you shyly responded, looking at Jisung through the corner of your eye. You thought he would react somehow, but he was too focused looking at the kids who were playing near you.
"Well, you're still young and you seem pretty put together to be a single mother… If you look further you might find someone you could share your life with and get married" Hyunjin mumbled, turning from you to look at his class running around the cafeteria.
"Single mother?" you repeated, eyebrows furrowed as you repeated his words on your head again.
"What? Since when are you a single mother?" Jisung's voice reached your ears, making both you and Hyunjin turn to him. "I thought… I thought I was her father?" his voice cracked, making you open your eyes wide in confusion.
"Aren't you her uncle?" Hyunjin asked, finally acknowledging his presence.
"No, Jisung is Jisu's dad. I'm… I'm not a single mother, I'm Jisung's girlfriend, not… Jisu's biological mother" you explained to the teacher in a quiet voice to not get any attention from the other adults near you.
"You're her dad? I'm so sorry, I always saw Y/N leaving Jisu and picking her up, I thought… I thought you and her were all by yourselves. I…" Hyunjin's hand flew to cover his mouth, he seemed so ashamed from his quick assumptions that his face started picking a pink tone. "I wanted to invite you to a date, Y/N. You're a fantastic parental figure to Jisu and– and you're so beautiful, too… I have a big crush on you, I'm sorry…"
You wanted to answer to his apologetic words, but you were too shocked to say anything, not knowing what words would be appropriate to speak so you turned to Jisung to see what he had to say in regards to this situation instead.
"Look, I can't blame you for liking her. She really is magnificent and I'll never get to comprehend how lucky I am for being by her side. I'm sorry, Hyunjin, but I'm sure one day you'll find someone like Y/N you can love" the sincerity and affection carried on his words made you look down and stare at his hand that had moved moments before to hold yours, you already knew but you loved him and how sweet he was.
Hyunjin smiled at your boyfriend and then cleared his throat, "thank you for saying that. You two make a lovely couple, but… if you ever get to break up, you know where I work, Y/N" he winked, moving to stand up and walk away to get the class's attention and continue the tour.
Neither of you spoke a word about Hyunjin's misinterpretation of your civil state after the trip. Sure, it had shocked you at first, but you brushed it off as something not that important. What you didn't know was how badly those words were torturing Jisung's brain. He stayed up most of the night that day, an arm around your shoulders as you peacefully slept on his chest, his head running wild with thoughts about you and how much you changed his life.
That's how he finally gathered the courage to talk to Chan and Changbin about marriage; he knew he loved you, he knew you were a highlight of his life along with Jisu and he was a witness to how much you and she liked each other. He couldn't ask for anything more, and besides, maybe having a ring on your finger would help you stop getting flirted with when you already shared a life with him, because after all, you were young and full of life, many people approached you and asked you for a drink at college or they also asked for your number at work, and the idea of getting married to you excited him more than it scared him, so why not propose to you?
His friends supported his choice, Chan and Changbin had gotten to know you a little more and you got along with them together, they supported you and Jisung and they also offered to babysit Jisu to give you private time together. They were very considerate, and not only that but they could feel how much Jisung adored you in every lyric of any song inspired by you.
So a few months later, one tranquil Friday evening after work when his friends dropped him off at the coffee shop that was nearly empty (except for the owners, Jeongin, Chan, Changbin and for some reason Seungmin too) you were surprised by his cautious behavior.
Jisu was sitting on Changbin's lap when Jisung took your hand and made you walk to the middle of the place, clearing his throat nervously while still holding your hand, making eye contact with you when he started speaking:
"Y/N, this is where we met a long time ago, and this is where everything began that day when I asked you if you could do me a favor. It was the start of our story together, and after spending many days and nights with you I'm more than certain that I love you. I loved you that day, and I will still love you tomorrow, so would you marry me?" He finally ended his speech with a knee on the floor, Jisu next to him handing him a small velvet box that he opened, revealing a beautiful ring inside.
You were more than surprised now, staring at his kneeled form with teary eyes, a hand covering your mouth as you simply nodded in response to his question, and then he placed the ring on your finger, kissing your hand and then standing up to kiss you sweetly, making your heart melt.
"Thank you, Y/N. I love you so much" and after that, everyone rushed to congratulate you two, creating beautiful memories for you.
That Friday, Jisu clung to her uncle Changbin's neck and waved goodbye at you and your now fiancé, saying that she couldn't wait to go to the fair the next day with him, making you laugh and kiss her forehead goodbye, thanking Changbin (and Chan too) for taking care of her and taking her places.
When you arrived home with Jisung that night, you couldn't help but smile like you did when he kissed you the first time, it was a satisfactory feeling, to know that he loved you as much as to ask you to be a permanent part of his life. You were clingy to him, which also made his heart flutter when you pecked his lips or giggled when he touched you gently, but behind the closed door of the apartment he wasted no time and kissed you hungrily, like a caveman trying the most delicious thing in the world.
You breathed in, corresponding to his rude kiss, your hands on his face and his resting on your waist.
"You have no idea how happy it makes me to know you're gonna be only mine, sweetheart. Just mine," he whispered, his breath against your cheek when he separated from your lips to tell you that. He had pressed you against the door as soon as he locked it, attacking your lips like it was his only mission and then going down your neck, leaving a warm trace of kisses burning your skin.
This time, he paid no mind to the 'no marks' unspoken rule he had given himself, sucking on your neck with the sole intention of leaving evidence of the passionate night the two of you would be having to celebrate your engagement, and you couldn't complain. He had given you the ring you thought you would get in a few more years, you might as well show that you're already taken to anyone who crossed your way, it turned you on a little more, if you had to be brutally honest. Seeing Jisung being possessive of you always made you feel like you were one of his priorities, and also showed you that he had no intention in leaving you alone any time soon.
Moving your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck, his hands started taking your jeans off and were now running through your belly under your shirt, touching everything he could as he kept marking you.
"You're only mine now, baby" he growled, separating from you to take off your shirt and look at your almost naked figure, his eyes with a heavy lusty shadow on them.
"... Just yours" you repeated, closing your eyes and taking his face to kiss him with the same passion he did when the door closed behind you.
Your hands rested on his chest, fingers trying to unbutton his shirt, successfully failing at completing the task when he separated from you, placing one of his hands on top of both of yours and pinning them above your head, resting against the cold door while his other hand slipped through your panties.
He groaned when he felt your growing wetness, he found your clit instantly and rubbed it, making you sigh in satisfaction until his hand went down further and he inserted two fingers inside you, this time dragging a gasp from your lips when your walls felt the introduction of his digits. It felt nice, but you knew his cock would feel better inside you, you loved how he filled you.
Pumping his fingers slowly, you started moaning, letting yourself enjoy his treatment. His mouth left kisses on your clavicle, then your chest and when you least expected it, he was pulling your bra down with his teeth and sucking on one of your nipples, his fingers never stopped their work on you causing you to become a wet, moaning mess with twitching legs until you finally came, crying out Jisung's name when your high hit you.
He kept pumping his fingers, having discovered that you did actually like when he overstimulated you once and since then doing it from time to time, this being one of them, and when you blinked your orgadm away, the pulled them from you, loosening his grip on your wrists and licking his fingers clean from your juices as he hummed.
You thought he would be done, you thought he would like to go to bed and fuck you until you screamed his mess in the comfort of your king size bed, but apparently Jisung had other plans in mind, as he undressed his shirt and threw it to the floor with your clothes and pulled you by the arm to the back of the couch, turning you and pushing your back so you were bending over it, his knee between your legs separating them and keeping you from closing them. He started taking your underwear off, his fascinated lusty eyes appreciating how wet you were, practically dripping.
"I wish you could see yourself, you look so lovely, all ready to take me after I made you cum with my fingers. I bet I can make you cum like that again, would you like that?" He asked.
You gulped, "N-no, I want your cock, please fuck me with your cock!"
"My needy baby, so cute. It's 'kay, I'll make you cum around me sweetheart" he responded while his hands caressed your ass lovingly until you couldn't feel them anymore. Soon, you heard him pull his zipper down, anticipating what was yet to come.
"Are you ready, angel?" He asked, pressing the tip of his cock against your throbbing entrance. You nodded, and he started pushing himself inside your velvety walls, stretching you.
With a growl, his hands held you in place by your hips, making sure you wouldn't move from the position he had you in as he started pulling out, ready to repeat the process, meanwhile you were holding a pillow for dear life as your breath got caught in your throat as you waited for him to set up a pace with his hips.
Jisung started slowly, enjoying how you felt around him and loving the way you took him in, looking at how he disappeared which caused him to moan. You, on the other hand, had to resist the urgency of moving. You remember telling Jisung that you wanted him to bruise your cervix, saying that you wouldn't mind new things to which he agreed quickly.
Maybe that was why he had started more than the usual missionary, you were thankful that he kept it in mind, and now surprising you by taking you on the couch, in front of the turned off TV where you could see your blurry reflection getting wrecked from behind by him, it felt incredible.
"You feel so good, I'm so glad your pussy is just mine" he moaned, stopping for a brief second to take your right leg and rest it on the couch to hit a deeper spot inside you, making you start tearing up from pleasure.
"A-all yours" you cried out, inevitably clenching around him when you repeated what he said. You saw his cocku smile through the black mirror that was the TV.
"Ah, J-Jisung, harder!" you demanded with a whine when he found your g spot, the detonator to your best orgasms.
The sudden sting from his hand landing on your butt cheek shocked you, making you moan. "Where are your manners, baby? I thought you were my good angel" he said, starting to slow down the speed that had increased since he started thrusting.
"Please, go hard-harder" you corrected yourself, and once he heard the magic word he instantly did what you had asked of him, provoking you to moan each time he reached where you wanted him, and soon you were clenching around him, legs shaking and walls hugging him tightly causing him to near his climax as well.
It took a few more thrusts for him to find his release, but when he did you felt him filling your insides with his warm seed, a sexy groan coming from his chest and his fingers leaving a bruise on your hips from holding you too hard.
Pulling out from you, he pushed his fingers inside your pussy to keep his cum from hitting the ground, then he carefully pushed you on the couch and walked around it to cuddle with you in his arms.
"I love you" he told you, his hand petting your hair innocently (as if he hadn't fucked your lungs out 5 minute ago).
"I know," you answered, kissing his chest and tightening your arm around his torso in a half hug.
"Let's stay like this for a few minutes and then we can bathe, okay?" you hummed in agreement, enjoying the comfortable silence between the two of you until any of you felt gross enough to want to get cleaned.
You didn't know how much time had passed, but when you realized Jisung wasn't with you any more you stood up looking for him, only to find him filling the tub, a few aromatic candles lighted up, a delicious smell reaching your nostrils. You saw the bathtub was almost all full, so you decided to surprise Jisung by wrapping your arms around his back.
"Let's get cleaned up, what do you say, sweetie?" He said, removing your arms from him and stepping into the warm water, opening his arms for you.
You rolled your eyes, but copied him anyway and rested your back in his chest. The water relaxed your muscles, the candle's scent helped you feel almost like in heaven, and Jisung arm made you know you were safe. Everything was so sweet, until you felt something else poking your lower back.
With a raised eyebrow, you faced your partner with a silent explanation only to find him staring at the love bites on your neck, but you opted for not commenting anything about it.
"You know… I really love you and I'm happy that you accepted to be a part of my life," he said, his deep voice and serious tone getting your attention, so you faced him to hear all he had to say.
"I remember you told Hyunjin that you wanted a big family, and… I know Jisu wouldn't mind having a sibling. I believe now would be a good time to have a baby of our own, but only if you agree with me, honey" he smiled, kissing your shoulder.
"Are you serious?" you asked him after processing his words in your head. He nodded, his hand playing with yours as he waited for you to say something else.
"I would love to, Sungie. I already consider you and Jisu as my family, hell, I feel happy when she tells her friend I'm her mom. So yes, if you're really sure, I want to do it. Let's have a baby" you smiled excitedly, moving to kiss his lips sweetly.
"Then we should keep practicing, shouldn't we?" He joked, winking at you after you ended the kiss. You hit him playfully, giggling at his question.
From joking about it, you two ended up having sex on the tub and staying there until the water got cold and the candles lighted out, and yet, when you were cuddling in bed ready to sleep, you couldn't stop smiling. It had been a fantastic day and even better night and early morning.
Next morning when Jisung saw you walking to the kitchen with his shirt on, he kissed your lips and greeted you with a "good morning, future Mrs. Han," a plate of pancakes in front of you.
"I'm so lucky to have you" you told him, to which he replied with "I'm so lucky to be loved by you."
And you decided that this was pure happiness, you didn't have anything to worry, and you loved your family and your friends a lot, you were almost done with college and starting to plan a wedding. Maybe you weren't rich, but you had everything you wanted and maybe a little more.
After all, engraved in the ring Jisung gave you, it said "for my soul mate", so you had him, for as long as time lasted, and he had you, the missing piece of the puzzle of his life.
You complemented each other, and comprehended each other. What you two had could be considered 'true love', and you were thankful to the universe for placing this single dad in your life, showing you what happiness, and what love was.
"I can't wait to marry you" you sighed, daydreaming about how you wanted the wedding to be.
"And I cannot wait to call you mine legally" he responded, kissing your cheek.
"I've always been yours"
"That's good, because you'll always be mine in the future as well. No quitting now, babe!"
240 notes · View notes
leejeongz · 4 years ago
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fluffy a-z JAY (enhypen)
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requested: yes, by anon
a/n: as if i didn’t have a phat crush on him before </3 jay tunnel vision shall continue until the end of time. thanks for requesting!
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
he’s very “selective” about his pda, an arm around your waist or your shoulder is enough for him and when he wants to be cute, a bop on your nose. when in private, he’s pretty much the same. he respects your personal space and doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries. when he’s “asleep” next to you though his arms MAY fall around you and start to hug you superrrr loosely :)). it’s not that he doesn’t like physical affection, he’s all for it, but he’s not sure if you are if you're not the one intitiating it. (taken from my enhypen as boyfriends post)
most of his affection is shown through endearing smiles and words of affirmation. he’s constantly staring at you with loving eyes, thinking of how he never wants the moment to end. he doesn’t say things when he doesn’t mean them, everything that comes out of his mouth is honest and sincere, when he tells you that he loves you, or that he’s proud of you, or that he’s happy to be yours, he really means it.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
jay would literally start a conversation with anyone, he just happened to start a conversation with you one day, and you both realised pretty quickly that this wasn’t just going to be a one off chat. you were laughing and joking the whole time, and it became a regular thing whenever you saw each other since your schedules often lead you both to the same place at the same time.
i think he would be such a supportive best friend :(. one who knows you better than you know yourself, one who takes the time to learn every little thing about you, one who is literally like a brother to you. jay likes to teach you things, he likes to help you when you ask or when he can see you struggling. he is someone that you can rely on and someone that will listen and help you without judging you.
you become part of his friendship group since you get along with them all so well. he likes it that way as he can spend more time with you rather than having to disappoint one to be with another.
C = Comfort (How do they comfort their partner?)
he’s so concerned whenever he sees you upset or anxious :( he just wants to let you know that it’s okay to feel that way and that he’s here to protect you, but he doesn’t want you to feel suffocated by him when you’re clearly not feeling too good.
if he saw you crying, he’d be firstly asking what’s making you upset, asking “why, why, why?” in a cute tone with a little pout on his face. he’d have you in his arms too, holding your head closer to him so that you can cry onto his sounder or onto his shirt. his main aim is just to let you know that he’s there and that he’s all yours in that moment. after you’ve told him what was making you feel so upset, he’d either try to make a joke of the situation if it’s not that serious, or he’d help you come up with a realistic solution to your problem. he’d probably let out a lot of sympathy noises too, little “hmms” and “awws” because he wants you to know that he’s listening and hopefully you feel comforted by that.
if your ever feeling anxious, jay just wants you to know that he understands. he’s willing to help you in any way he possibly can (within reason) and helps you to push yourself whenever you’re feeling confident enough to do so without taking things too far. he always tells you how proud he is of you and how you’re doing so great. he wouldn’t laugh at you or try to make you feel silly for your anxieties and worries, however bizarre and foreign they may be to him, he actively tries to understand and sometimes researches more, not forgetting to tell you that you’re not alone.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How about kids? Marriage? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
i mean, we all know he’s good at cooking! he likes to show off his culinary skills for you whenever he can and would rather have a home cooked meal over a takeaway too. he also likes the house to be clean and tidy, but whoever makes the mess should clean it of course, and he’s not afraid to complain when you leave a room with it looking like a pigsty.
settling down is a very very big thing for jay. he won’t think about it lightly. the relationship has to be special, he knows when the right time to settle down is and which person is the right person, he won’t rush into it with just anyone.
i don’t think he’d care for marriage to be honest. as long as he knows that you love him and that you know that he loves you, that’s all the matters, you don’t need a certificate or a ceremony for that. in the future, jay probably wants to have kids, just 1, maybe 2, but it’s not so important that he’d break off the relationship if you didn’t want to have kids.
E = Equal (Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?)
he really wants it to be equal. he doesn’t want to feel like either of you have more power than/over the other. you don’t have to act in accordance with anything that he says and his doesn’t have to act in accordance with what you say, you may be in a relationship but you’re still two separate people and should be seen as that. so, for that reason, he doesn’t want a dominant/submissive (passive (?)) relationship with you in everyday life, he just wants you both to feel like you are your own people.
F = Feelings (How did the confession go down?)
he would get SO nervous whenever he thought about confessing to you, his hands would get all sweaty and clammy and he’d go completely silent. but, saying that, he is also rather excited to confess, because that’s one step closer to being yours <3. if it didn’t come out by accident, i.e him just spewing out “because i like you” after you asked him why he teased you, i think he’d do it in a rather meaningful way. just the two of you, alone, (so that you can kiss him if you want to hehe), maybe even buy you a small little gift and hands it to you while telling you how much you mean to him.
G = Giggle (What makes him laugh?)
when you compliment him. oh gosh this boy goes all blush and giggly when you compliment him, especially when you’re in the dating phase.
when you give someone a deserved shouting at. watching you stand up for yourself makes him overwhelmed with pride, but he can’t help but laugh at the person you’re giving the grief to, just because of how tiny and small you’re making them look.
when you wear his clothes for the first time. of course, you look cute, but the mismatch of items really makes him laugh, he just has to let it out while engulfing you in a hug.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
aww jay is definitely a back hugger. coming up behind you, wrapping his arms around you and waddling around aimlessly with your back pressed against his chest. sometimes he says nothing at all, he just appreciates you and your complaints of how he’s distracted you. other times, he just asks about your day, general small talk really, before walking to bed with you to cuddle and chat some more.
less frequently, he’ll give in and hug you normally, resting his chin on your shoulder and smiling, wondering why he doesn’t do it more often. as he pulls away, he places a gentle kiss on your forehead and tells you that he loves you, or that he’s missed you while he’s been working.
I = Instant (Do they believe in love at first sight?)
claims that he doesn’t because he thinks it’s shallow to base your feelings off of just someone’s appearance. he’s a little confused as to how you can fall in love with someone just by seeing their face, not even talking to them ?
actually, he does believe in it, he just needed to experience it to know. the aura and vibes that you give off attracts him to you in that moment. he feels a connection without even having to talk to you, he just knows that there is something there.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
he kind of loves it when he sees that people are interested in you. like yeah you’re hot, but you’re also all his, and he’s gonna show them hehe. he’d be all over your like a rash, kissing you delicately so that you don’t get suspicious or feel uncomfortable, or resting his hand on your lower back to let everyone know that they can’t have you.
if he sees you talking to a guy, he’s not gonna get pressed about it. he’s not going to ask you millions of questions about what you were talking about and who he is or whatnot, he actually loves seeing you smile from across the room and he doesn’t care who it is that is making you smile so yeah.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
shoulder ❗️ kisses ❗️ when he’s spooning you while you’re sleeping. when he senses someone is interested in you in public he’ll just stand behind you and kiss your shoulder. god he’s so cute without even realising BYE. (taken from my enhypen as boyfriends post). he also likes to kiss your hand, prince charming, eat your heart out.
he likes to initiate kisses, all of them. he smiles as he leans in, his tongue pushing against the back of his teeth making his smile more radiant. he starts with a few tiny little pecks, reaching for your head whether you’re sitting or standing. the kiss naturally deepens and his body language mimics yours. when you kiss, you truly become one. kisses like this are heated, but don’t happen all that often.
L = Love Confession (How fast do they say the L-word?)
saying the L word is a very big deal to him, he really has to be in love, and he has to have been in love for a while before he can say it.
honestly, before he actually said it, he’d been thinking about it for days. every time he looked at you, he wanted to say it. you were talking to him, but he wasn’t concentrating on what you were saying, even if he really did look like it. you finished your sentence and almost immediately after you did so, jay said it, those three words. he was so content that he’d said it too, a small smile appearing on his face which grew bigger the more he thought about it.
M = Memory (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
the time you bought matching rings for you and him! he remembers you dropping off the small gift bag at his door a few days after you’d been shopping with your friends. he opened it up to find a black ring with a moon shape carved of it, and a picture of your hand wearing the matching ring. he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t cry, scurrying back to his room to put it on straight away. he’d constantly be fidgeting with it, spinning it around his finger and thinking about you as he does so. when you two were together, he’d bring up the rings a lot, he would never be able to get over how cute they were, but he’d always be a little bummed out that you were too shy to give it to him in person.
N = No (What's their pet peeve?)
dirtiness. leaving a mess anywhere. just clean it up if you can, stop relying on him to always pick things up when you leave them lying around. he can sometimes tolerate it, but it builds up to the point where he has to complain about it because it’s getting too much.
O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their significant other?)
green. sage green particularly.
everything with you is so natural and fresh. you were such a new character when you came into his life, you were and still are like no one that he’s ever met before. he felt he could trust you and be himself around you instantly. you bring him comfort even though you’re someone that he’s never seen before.
P = Petnams (What pet names do they call their other half?)
baby, babygirl/babyboy, honey, sweetheart, prince/princess all that good stuff.
his favourite name to call you, though, is darling. especially when you two are alone, he thinks “darling” is so much more classy, intimate and loving, which perfectly describes your relationship.
he also calls you beautiful a lot (because that’s what u are hehe). that’s more so for when he’s asking you a question, though, especially when he’s buying something for you. “do you want this, beautiful?” ahh he’s so cute :(
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
he doesn’t have to remember, he just knows. knowing things about you is like knowing things about himself, he’s always ready and prepared for you to quiz him on anything because there’s no way that he can be wrong about it. even the stuff that you mention just briefly, he knows it. he’s also a very good judge of character, i think, so some things you don’t even have to tell him, he just knows.
oh and he LOVES to tell other people too. you’re his favourite topic of conversation, he could talk about you for hours and never run out of positive things to say.
R = Rainy day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)
he doesn’t really care about the rain, he would just get on with his day as usual if he could. but not everyone wants to go out when it’s pouring down and he appreciates that so,,, did someone say karaoke??? he’s gonna be belting out high notes and rapping like his life depends on it. even if you’re not the usual type to join in, something about his energy makes you wanna get up and dance.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
you're his pride and joy, he’s going to do everything in his power to protect you. he believes that you can protect yourself, of course he does, and he doesn’t want to hurt you more than the thing he’s protecting you from, but he’s ready to intervene when he senses that things aren’t going as they should be.
if he can tell that you’re getting uncomfortable by someone’s presence, he’ll confront them and ask them to give you some space. he can get a little loud and aggressive with it when necessary too because no one should be made to feel like that.
it’s quite clear that jay isn’t the controlling type of boyfriend and so you don’t have to be worried about him being possessive. although he’d appreciate it if you told him where you’re going, just for his own peace of mind that should something happen to you, he at least knows where to find you.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
okay so i see jay as the type of guy who cares more for memories than materialistic things, so that would definitely be reflected in the gifts he gives too. would probably book a vacation for the pair of you, or a spa day for you or something along those lines for your birthday or big anniversaries. also for your birthday, he likes to write you handwritten letters every year, detailing how grateful he is to have you by his side and how proud he is of the person you are today. saying all that though, for 100 days together, he did buy you a giant teddy which he noticed you kept propped up on your desk chair. he even named it for you too :((.
dates with jay are really chill and relaxed during the day. they mostly consist of shopping or watching a movie at home and are very much “at your own pace”. he likes that you can both just be yourselves, especially when you are only in that dating phase, as he feels he can get to know you better. he loves to please you too!! he’d rather do something that you enjoy, even if he doesn’t particularly enjoy the activity himself, because he gets to see you smile <33. more intense dates usually come in the form of dinner dates, where you dress up and have a sit down meal somewhere. he puts in a heck of a lot of effort into these, he’ll be planning and arranging things for days before because he really wants to impress you (which of course, he does). he brushes up on his knowledge of the food that is on the menu and on the correct etiquette for the date because that’s really important to him.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
he loves to game. he has games on his phone, on his pc, on the tv, just about everything he owns, he can game on. so sometimes you get ignored if he’s gaming :(. he’d LOVE LOVE LOVE if you joined in, or if you asked questions or what not, but when he’s in the zone, he’s there for a good while and you just cannot seem to get him out of it. (call jungwon to turn his game off if necessary ❗️he’s experienced and willing)
V = Vulnerability (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
he doesn’t want to tell you things too soon. he doesn’t want you to use them against him and hurt him just as he’s starting to fall for you. but he understands that the only way that things can develop is by telling you more and more about himself. i think you’d have to start it off, telling him some of the things that have shaped you into the person you are today, before he starts listing off the hardships that he’s had to endure in order to get to where he is now.
by the time you’re in a relationship, he trusts you completely. you know things about each other that no one else, not even the people closest to you, know.
W = Why (Why do they love their partner?)
you make him feel wanted, like he has a purpose, a role to play. when he feels like giving up, you’re there to help him back onto his feet. you give him a reason to do everything he wants to do and more. you appreciate him in ways that no one else has ever done, made him feel things that no one has ever made him feel, you’re someone he’s never had in his life before, and he loves you for it.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
boyfriend jay gives you the best massages, out of the blue. when he sees you sat at his gaming chair, his hands immediately come to massage your shoulders. when you lie with your feet on his lap while sitting on the couch, he starts massaging them gently while you watch tv. just as you got done working out, he’s be there with a nice ice cold bath already run and some spa music playing in the background while he rubs your thighs and calves. he knows he’s good at them and puts his skill to good use whenever he can :D.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, but other people love in a relationship?)
engaging in constant pda. just yuck, he wants his own space and he doesn’t understand how you can’t want yours either. he wants to eat and drink without you latched onto his arm, and he wants to be able to stand in line without needing to hug you or vice versa. it’s not that he doesn’t want to show off your relationship, he just doesn’t think that PDA necessary all the time.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
sleeping with his eyes open lmao. kinda creepy but you know he can’t help it, he doesn’t even know that he’s doing it so 🤷🏻‍♀️.
to conclude, jay, this is an official proposal pls be our bestie/boyf
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ray-ray-writings · 4 years ago
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Birthday Bullies-SBI AU Imagine
This is Brother!Technoblade, Brother!Wilbur, Brother!Tommyinnit, and Father!Philza x gn!reader in the SBI inc AU in which you are the youngest of the three. That being said, you and Tommy are in the same grade due to you skipping a grade because you’re so smart and that gets you into trouble because people don’t like people that are different ya know? 
TW: Bullying, like physically, mentally, and emotionally. As well as cursing
Masterlist here
Y/N is being bullied at school. They’re able to keep the secret from her father and brothers for a while. But every cat gets out of the bag eventually.  
Y/N’s POV
Being the youngest in your class is hard. It’s even harder when the age gap is bigger than the usual age gap. My father and my teacher’s realized that my “smarts” were way ahead of others in my grade and together we decided that I might be happier skipping two grades and going into high school at 13. 
At first, I was ecstatic. I would get to take tougher classes but I would also get to be with my older brother Tommy as a freshman and our even older brothers who were seniors. But as time passed, more of the freshman class began to turn on me and began to hate me. Not only did I begin to feel excluded from my classmates, but my classmates began to pick on me. 
It wasn’t too bad at first. Just whispers and snide comments to begin with. But some people got more bold and soon I could barely walk down the hallway without my shoulder being shoved and cruel words spat directly in my face. No matter how hard it got, I refused to tell my brothers. I didn’t want to be a bother to them. I was in high school now, I should be able to fight my own battles… Right? Besides, some of the kids had threatened to beat up Tommy if I even thought of telling my brother’s what was happening. 
Luckily, I usually got home before everyone so I got to let out all of my feelings without having to worry about any of the boys seeing me break down. Techno has theater, Wilbur has music lessons, Tommy goes to Tubbo’s to hang out, and my father, Philza, works until 5. So I was home alone for 2 hours which gave me enough time to break down, cry it out, pull myself together, cover any bruises I may have gotten from the day, and pretend like nothing happened before anyone got home. It was a process I had down to a science. No one knew about my struggles, but that was all about to change. 
It was my birthday. I woke up feeling pretty good. I could immediately smell the breakfast my father was making. I swung myself out of bed, grabbed the outfit I planned on wearing, and went to the bathroom. I quickly did what I needed to do in the bathroom before bouncing down the stairs. 
As I suspected, my father was standing over the stove and all three of my brothers were sitting around the table chatting. At the sound of my footsteps, all heads snapped to me, grins placed on all their faces. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” All four cheered in unison. A matching grin painted my lips, “thank you!” I beamed. Philza quickly turned off the stove and rushed over to me and scooped me up in a big hug. “I can’t believe my baby is officially a teenager!” Dadza cooed in my ear. I giggled and hugged him back, “If it helps I can’t believe it either.” Philza gave my back a quick pat before releasing me and going back to the stove. 
I sat down in my seat at the table next to Tommy and gave all my brothers smiles. “Here you go sweetheart” Dadza announced, placing a plate filled with my favorite breakfast foods down in front of me. “Thanks Dad!” I cheered, before picking up my fork and digging in. The boys took this as their cue to get up and get their own plates. 
Soon everyone was sitting around the table, eating and enjoying each other’s company. “Unfortunately I wasn’t able to get the day off and the boys still have their after school activities that they can’t get out of and so you’re still going to be home for two hours by yourself before we can all get home to celebrate” Dadza explained in an apologetic tone. Although I was a little disappointed, I understood. “That’s okay. Like you said, we can just celebrate when everyone gets home. No worries,” I told him with a smile. Dadza returned my smile, “Thanks for being so understanding kiddo.” “No problem dad!” 
We finished breakfast and then it was time to head to school. Wilbur drove us in the car that Dad had gotten him when he got his license. Techno also had a car and a license, but he hates driving and so he forces Wilbur to drive everyday. Once we got to the school, the four of us said our goodbyes to each other before heading our separate ways. I stopped by my locker and put my books away before heading to my first period. 
Surprisingly, the day passed very easily. Sure there were still a few shoves and words thrown my way, but nothing too major which I was really happy about. It seemed like the universe was giving me a break because it’s my birthday today! I should have known it was too good to be true. 
The last bell rang releasing us from the hell that we call school. I quickly made my way to my locker, grabbed everything I needed before walking toward the exit. I had almost made it out of the building when I heard the cruel voice of Chad, one of my main bullies, call my name from behind me. I silently prayed that if I just ignored him he would get bored and move on… It did not work. 
“Hey!” The same aggressive voice called, this time a forceful hand finding my wrist and forcing me to turn around. “I’m talking to you bitch. When I’m speaking I expect you to listen” His hand tightened around my wrist causing me to whimper. I knew that the skin was going to bruise and it was going to hurt a lot. The sound of me in pain caused the smirk on Chad’s face “Aw. Does a little pressure hurt the baby?” Chad mocked, tightening his hand even more causing even more shooting pain to send through my wrist. “Please let me go” I begged, trying to tug my wrist from his iron grip, I made no progress. “No. I don’t think I will. You need to learn your lesson and learn to listen to your superiors when they’re speaking to you,” Chad spit, glaring at me with so much hatred in his eyes. I let out another small whimper, but didn’t say anything else. 
Chad smirked at my demeanour, “Good… Now I’m feeling particularly generous today, so I’m going to let you go. But remember this the next time I call you, you better respond immediately.” Chad let go of my wrist and I was about to respond, but I suddenly felt a force on my shoulders, shoving me to the ground. My hands shot out behind me and I felt the skin on the palms of my hands break as they met the ground. Chad’s obnoxious laughter rang out loudly as he walked away, leaving me on the ground. 
I had to take a few moments to compose myself. I couldn’t cry here. I couldn’t risk another person walking by and seeing me lying here crying. I had to be strong until I got home. I carefully pushed myself up, hissing at the feeling of the pressure on my scraped palms. Once I was up, I carefully inspected my palms and wrist. Small rivers of blood flowed from the open wounds. I slowly clenched my fists closed, trying to keep the blood in. My eyes caught the wrist that Chad had gripped, it was extremely red and small bouts of purple were already appearing in the shape of fingerprints. I took a deep breath before walking out of the school and toward home. 
It’s days like today that I’m very grateful that I’m home for a few hours by myself. I didn’t have to explain anything to anyone and I could be my happy self by the time everyone gets home. It was hard to keep the tears at bay on my way home, but I managed. 
A sigh of relief left my lips as my house appeared in my vision. I practically ran to the front door, carefully grabbing my key and unlocking the door, careful to not get any blood on the door or my key. I rushed into the house and slammed the door behind me. Once I was sure the door latched, I allowed myself to break down. The tears that I had forced to remain in my eyes finally flowed freely down my cheeks as sobs escaped my lips. I threw off my bookbag and allowed myself to sink into the door and slide down to the ground as the sobs wracked my body.
I was so absorbed in myself that I didn’t hear someone calling my name. I couldn’t hear them ask what was wrong. I didn’t even know they were there until arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders. I immediately jumped in surprise and my eyes snapped to whoever was grabbing me. Through my blurry vision, I could make out the outline of my father’s extremely concerned face staring at me. “What are you doing home?” I blubbered, immediately trying to dry my tears to try and hold on to some form of dignity. Dadza looked up causing me to follow his gaze. There I found all three of my brothers standing there as well, staring at me. Of course. Of course this just had to happen. “Do you remember this morning when I told you I couldn’t get the day off?” I let out a sniff and nodded at the question, of course because had he not, we wouldn’t be in this situation. “Well I lied to you to surprise you. I pulled the boys out of school early and they’ve been helping me set up your birthday surprise… But that doesn’t matter, what happened Y/N? What’s wrong?” 
I couldn’t tell him. I can’t. They’ll hurt Tommy. I cleared my throat and shook my head, bringing a hand up to wipe my face. “Nothing… Nothing. I’m fine, forget about it.” I tried to brush the concern off. But Dadza’s gentle hand grabbed my hand and it was then I remembered the blood running from my hand and the finger shaped bruises forming. Dadza examined my hand, “Wilbur go get me the first aid kit please. Techno an ice pack. Tommy, please go finish setting up,” Dadza softly commands my three brothers before turning back to me with a raised eyebrow, “You’re fine?” he asked with a slightly mocking tone. I knew I had been caught. 
The tears began welling in my eyes again. After a moment of silence I managed to give an answer, “No” I croaked out, “I’m not fine.” Tears began falling from my eyes once again. Dadza instantly pulled me into him once again and began rubbing my back again. “I’ve got you honey. I’ve got you.” He soothed as I sobbed in his shoulder. As I cried, I could feel someone take my hands and begin to take care of them. A small sting running through them before bandages carefully wrapped around them. A cool presence also settled on my throbbing wrist. 
I don’t know how long I cried for. But I needed it. I broke down at least once every week, but crying to someone feels so much better. The tears finally stopped and the sobs turned into sniffs. “Feel better?” Dadza asked softly in my ear. I nodded, my face still in his shoulder. “You want to tell me about it now?” I pulled my face from his body and looked around the room. Techno and Wilbur still remained in the room, but Tommy was nowhere to be seen… Just how I want it. 
And so I told him. I told him everything. I told him how hard high school had been for me and how everyone had been so mean to me. I told him what had happened today and what Chad had done. I explained why I was happy to be left home alone for a few hours everyday. How I broke down and patched myself up everyday. And at the end, I explained why I never told anyone. I told them how they had threatened Tommy and how the last thing I wanted was for anyone else to be hurt. 
By the end of my ramblings, Techno and Wilbur were visibly fuming. Dadza was calm on the outside, but I could tell he was pissed too. It took a few moments before Philza spoke, “Tomorrow. I will be going down to the school and having a talk with the principal. There is no reason that this should ever happen to anyone, especially not you. When I met with them, they assured me that you would fit in fine and they would keep an eye on you… It’s obvious they didn’t keep that promise.” I couldn’t help the shiver that was sent down my spine at my father’s dark tone. I knew it wasn’t directed at me, but I had never heard this before and it kind of scared me.
 “And we’ll be sure to take care of Chad tomorrow” Techno glowers, giving Wilbur a small nod. Philza’s head turned to his sons and he gave them a disapproving look. Wilbur holds his hands up in defense, “We promise we won’t do anything that gets us suspended or expelled… We just want to teach him a lesson.” Dadza hesitated but then gave them a small nod. A small cheer escaped Wilbur’s lips as he and Techno fistbumps. “And I’ll help too!” Wilbur and Techno whip around and part revealing Tommy standing there, his face red and his fist pounding in his hand. “Tommy, Wilbur, Techno… Please you really don’t have to-” “No we do have to. They messed with you, they mess with all of us…. Now let’s forget this for now and go celebrate your birthday” 
And so you did. Dadza helped you stand up and walked you into a decorated kitchen. Party decorations of your favorite color and theme littered the walls and the table announcing “Happy Birthday” to you. Your favorite foods sat on the kitchen table with your favorite drink sitting in front of your favorite spot. Had you not just cried your eyes out, you would have cried happy tears. “Guys!” You squeal, rushing forward, looking at everything, “You didn’t have to do all this. Thank you!” The four of them chuckled at your reaction. You quickly sat in your own seat, waiting for everyone to sit down, before digging in. The rest of the night was spent just celebrating you. You got a lot of gifts from your family and ate a lot of ice cream and cake and just all around had a good time. 
*Time skip to the next day*
The next morning was the first morning in a while that I didn’t absolutely dread going to school. I rode to school with dadza. Wilbur and the boys following behind us in his own car. When we got there, Dadza went straight to the office and the four of us siblings stuck together instead of immediately branching off from each other. I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I heard my father’s voice boom asking where the principal was. 
The four of us continued down the hallway until we passed Chad. “Hey bitch!” Chad called from his spot leaning up against the lockers. I was a little surprised at his boldness, usually when I was with my brothers, nobody bothered me, but I guess he didn’t care today. I didn’t even get a chance to respond because in the blink of an eye, Techno had him pinned up against the lockers. “What did you just say to them?” 
Instantly, Chad’s demeanour changed, “Hey man, get off of me!” He exclaimed, trying to get out from under Techno, but my pink haired brother’s grip was too strong. “No, no, no… You’re going to tell me what it is you just said to them” Techno repeated, his tone extremely dark. Wilbur slowly walked up behind him and smirked at the trapped bully, “Yeah. I mean you seemed so brave just moments ago. Almost as brave as you were yesterday, come on big man. Where’s that bravery now?” Chad’s gaze shifted from my brother’s to me, “You fucking snitch! I told you not to tell, now you’re going to pay!” Chad once again tried to get out of Techno’s grip, but he was immediately slammed back against the lockers. Techno let out a small tisk, “That was the wrong answer Chad. You should know by now I don’t like repeating myself.” Techno growled, lifting Chad from the locker and slamming him back against it. 
Chad let out a small gasp of pain as the loud crash sounded, “You can’t do this! You two are both 18, I’ll sue. I’ll press charges.” Chad gasped, panic slowly filling his voice. That seemed to break through to Techno. Techno let out a huff of air through his nose. “If I ever catch you messing with Y/N again, I will end you” Techno grumbles out before letting go of Chad and taking a few steps back. 
Chad takes a moment to collect himself before the stupid smirk returns to his face. “That’s right. You’re not so big and bad are you?” He taunted my oldest brother. I watch as Wilbur has to literally grab Techno and restrain him from completely pouncing on the bully. Chad only smirks at the chaos he’s created. 
To my surprise, Tommy steps in front of him. “You better watch your mouth,” Tommy spoke to the bully. “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it?” Chad asked with a huge smirk on his face. Tommy didn’t answer, he just stood there staring at Chad. I could tell Chad was getting nervous under Tommy’s stare. Finally he’d had enough of the silence, “You’re such a freak just like your sibling,” Chad announced, reaching forward and shoving Tommy as hard as he could. Tommy stumbled back, but it seemed as though that was what he was waiting for. “Oh, you’re going to regret that” Tommy announces with a smirk, popping his knuckles. Chad let out a scoff as he rolled his eyes, “Sure kid. It’s not like you’re going-” Chad didn’t get to finish because Tommy’s fist connected with Chad’s face. Tommy had reared back and punched Chad in the face as hard as he could. 
A gasp sounded throughout the hallway and it was then I noticed that there were a bunch of people that had gathered to watch what was happening. Chad went down like a sack of potatoes, just crumpling to the ground. For a moment, everyone was frozen. No one could believe what had just happened. Finally Tommy moved and looked around at the group that was staring at him. “That’s right!” Tommy announced loudly. His eyes met mine and he smiled before walking over and wrapping his arm around me “This is my sibling. If I ever catch you or hear of any of you bullying Y/N, it’ll be you next.” Wilbur and Techno were quick to join the two of us, “Yeah! What he said!” Wilbur cheered, backing up his younger brother. 
The office door flung open and my father and the principal walked out. All eyes snapped to the two adults that had just entered the scene. Principal M glanced around the hall, his eyes landed on an unconscious Chad, “What happened?” He asked, moving over to the knocked out boy. “It was self defense your honor,” Tommy claimed boldly, “He pushed me and tried to punch me but I punched him before he could… It was self defense.” Mr. M looked around everyone, “Is this true?” Every single head bobbed in unison at the question. No one was going to snitch. I could tell that Mr. M was a little skeptical but when his eyes met my fathers, he quickly nodded. “Right well… I’ll get him down to the nurses office… Everyone get to class” 
With that, everyone broke from their trance and raced off to their classroom. The four of us however made our way over to our father. “What really happened?” Dadza asked, an amused eyebrow raised as he looked the four of us up and down. Techno looked over his shoulder and shrugged, “We can explain later… It’s actually a funny story” Techno claimed with a small chuckle. Dadza couldn’t help but chuckle as well, “Well I can’t wait to hear it… I’ve got to go to work now but I’ll see you at home,” Dadza announced throwing his arms open. With no shame we all piled into his arms and had a big group hug. Dadza let us go and we began to head off to our classes. 
“Oh wait! Dad!” I called, stopping my father from leaving, “What did you say to the principal?” I asked, really curious. A small smirk appeared on my father’s face, “I’ll tell you when you’re older… Just know that you’re never going to be bullied in this school again… And if you are, let’s just say there are some jobs at stake… I’ll see you later kiddo. Love you!” “Love you too!” And then he was gone. I walked to my first class, the teacher not even questioning why  I was late. 
After that day, I was never bothered by bullies again. Everyone either was very nice to me, or they avoided me completely. Tommy and I spent a lot more time together. The boys had grown even more protective of me ever since they found out. I didn’t mind though, they’re my boys and I love them. Sometimes you need someone to stand up for you, to protect you, and to take care of you. And I couldn’t have asked for better boys to be that for me. 
There you go. I hope you enjoyed! If so be sure to leave a like or maybe even a reblog or reply telling me your favorite part/what you liked!
Find out what Philza said to the principal here lol
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nanaminokanojo · 3 years ago
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[7:06 PM] Oikawa X You
LOG #8 OF MY HAIKYUU!! TIMESTAMP DRABBLES
CHARACTERS: Oikawa Toru X You WORD COUNT: 1,200+ GENRE: fluff | comfort TRIGGER WARNING: mild separation anxiety SPOILERS: n/a
collection masterlist
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A smile unconsciously drew itself across your lips at the feeling of Oikawa's hair between your fingertips. You've always liked his chocolate locks, even more when you were carding your hands through them. You sat on the couch while he was on the floor, shoulders between your legs. He's busy watching a volleyball match on his phone, no doubt knit-picking details from the players he could possibly go against. He's in the zone, and you know he could not be bothered when he decides to concentrate on this particular endeavor.
You didn't mind the stretches of silence between the two of you, satisfied with just being a latent presence moving around him. You understood the pressure that was on him being an international athlete, and if he wants time for it, you weren't going to stop him. It makes him happy. And if he's happy, you can rest easy.
But that wasn't always the case.
You hummed as you bent down slightly, catching his scent in the air as you inhaled deeply. He smelled like summers of old, faded roses and candy floss, the distinct hints heightening over the others depending on the circumstances. At that moment, he was a direct line to things which reminded you of happiness and easier days under the warmth of the sun just as summer gives up to fall.
Unable to hold back, you placed both your arms on his shoulders, burying your nose at the back of his head. You luxuriated in the smooth strands of his hair tickling your cheeks, the scent of his shampoo filling your senses. You nuzzled his nape, lightly brushing your lips on the side of his neck before wrapping your arms around him and propping your chin on his shoulder.
"What are you doing?" he asked, feigning annoyance except that you could hear the smile in his tone.
"Clamoring for your attention?" you offered to which he chuckled. You weren't one to do that, not even where he was concerned, knowing how independent you are that he felt useless where taking care of you was involved. Instead, you took care of him.
"And you think you're succeeding by…sniffing me?"
"The fact that you noticed means I am," you countered. "I love smelling you."
Oikawa reached up, patting you on the head, his eyes still glued to his phone.
You pecked him on the spot just below his ear. "I want my boyfriend back."
"You're holding onto him."
As if on cue, your eyes started to feel hot from behind, that tight feeling pervading your chest as you thought of how limited your time with him is. Most of his days were spent halfway around the world, the chances you could be with him, holding onto him like that, was when you felt dread the most. He will leave again, and you will have to adjust to his absence once more, the phase lasting for a rather long time before you're sure you are back on track again.
"Not for long." You withdrew, holding back the sobs that wanted to break free from your throat. You spoke in a steady tone because you didn't want him to worry. You want him to be happy by doing what he wanted, and you wanted nothing but to support him. But after all is said and done, you're only human, and you craved his presence constantly.
"Y/N, I wouldn't be leaving for another two weeks," he told you gently as you moved out of the couch, your feet hurriedly carrying you to the direction of the bedroom. "Baby, where are you going?"
You did not reply to his query, making a straight path towards the bed where you finally collapsed, curling into a fetal position as your tears silently fell. When you heard him enter the room, you grabbed a pillow and covered your face with it as if it would hide the evidence of your misery. You felt him sit beside you, tugging at it, but you held on tight, refusing to let him see your tears.
Instead of prying it off you, he laid down behind you, molding himself to the shape you've assumed. It was his turn to bury his face into your hair, doing as you did earlier as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and planting butterfly kisses on your nape and shoulders.
"As much as I hate seeing you cry, I'm relieved you feel that way at the prospect of me leaving," he told you then, his pretty voice ringing into your ears over the blood rushing to your head.
At that, you tossed the pillow away and faced him. You sniffed. "What's that supposed to mean? I always feel miserable when you leave."
Oikawa's lower lip jutted out at the sight of your tears. "You never show me. The last time I left, you hugged me, turned away and left."
"I didn't want to upset you. You're the one who's going to be on a long flight. You think I want you to see me crying beforehand?"
He cupped your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs, his touch tender and warm. "I upset you this much, huh?"
You shook your head. "Not you. Never you, Toru." You snuggled closer to him, relishing his warmth. "This is why I don't want you to see me like this. I will support you no matter what even if it means we need to be apart. But I do get crazy sad when you're away."
Your words were followed by silence from his end. He started planting kisses on the top of your head, his arms tightening around you.
"I've been meaning to ask you something for a while now," he broke the silence.
Looking up at him, you waited for him to speak further. He met your gaze, his bright eyes swirling with conflict.
"I would like you to come with me if you want to," he began. "I've been wanting to tell you that since the second time I came home, but I don't want you to just leave everything for me. I don't want you to think I don't support your endeavors."
Your eyes widened. "Move to Argentina, you mean?"
He nodded. "I thought it would be nice if we can spend more time together. It's kinda tiring not being able to see and hold you for long periods of time. And I thought it'd be a good way to take our relationship a step further."
You just blinked at him, unaware that he had such thoughts going on inside his head when you've had this agreement before, that if things didn't work out, you would both go your separate ways.
"You have the absolute say on it. I don't want to –"
You cut him short by seizing his lips with yours, hoisting yourself up to run your fingers into his hair and kissing him slow and gentle but with all the feeling of gratitude and love you felt for him. You held onto him, glad that you did for the last four years.
You withdrew, smiling when you saw the dazed look on his face. "I'll gladly leave everything for you, Toru. Hell, I'll learn Spanish for you."
"Yeah? You'll do that?" The eagerness and joy blooming into a smile on his face was unmistakable. That's all you wanted, his happiness. "I promise we'll come home as much as you want. I'll arrange it."
You snickered and hugged him, settling your head on the crook of his neck while your hand reached for his, twining your fingers together. "No need for that. As long as you're with me, I'm home."
-end-
God, that GIF!!! I'm like Fiona in "Shrek" with her little pink diary repeatedly saying, "Mrs. Fiona Charming" except my head goes, "Mrs. Oikawa *insert my name*." お願いだから、寝かせてください 、徹ちゃん。
Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.
© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY FURUDATE HARUICHI’S “HAIKYUU!”. [20210825]
PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.
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nemeseos-noctua · 4 years ago
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Hi! Could i request hcs for Diluc and Xiao with a reader who is shy? Thank you!
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𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: xiao, diluc (separate) x gn!reader
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: a few swears in diluc’s! (it’s like one or two)
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: this is actually my first tumblr post.... ive been super busy with school, sports, and other stuff. sorry! ill try to write more in the future! (constellations has been doing everything so far since i still dont know how tumblr works lol)
also, these are stupid long... and for what.
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adventuring was a lot for you to process
okay, so maybe having your own Benny’s Adventure Team was not great while traveling through Dragonspine and Liyue
too many of everything
you ended up getting really beat up.
after passing through Mingyun Village, you could see Wangshu Inn and decided to stay there until you were healed up
you always found comfort in the night sky, so you went out there every day
It was your fifth night staying at the inn before you saw a short male standing on the balcony where you would usually be. Strange. You’d never seen anyone like that before.
You seemed to have caught him off guard when you started to approach him since he jumped a little. 
Taking a closer look at his face, you studied it a bit. He had golden eyes and dark teal hair that seemed to frame his face perfectly, accompanied by lighter streaks of the same colour.
Pretty... you thought, completely entranced by this strange man (boy?). 
“Ah, sorry. I’m probably disturbing you... I’ll go now...” 
He blinked. 
god he’s in love
not even romantic love but he loved you like the past adepti
xiao would see so many couples over the years that he’s been at the inn and absolutely hated them, but this?? 
okay it’s a different type of love but damn it felt nice
You started to turn and walk back to your room before hearing his voice.
“Stay.” 
STAY??? WE MOVING KINDA FAST BUT ALRIGHT PRETTY BOY !! 
On the outside, you were cooler than a cucumber. The inside? Chaos. Millions of thoughts raced throughout that little head of yours. 
“Only if you’re fine with it...”
Turning back around, you took a few steps forward before noticing that he wore a lot of accessories on him. One of them being a mask that resembled one of the Vigilant Yaksha’s in that one book you read as a kid. Probably just a fan or something.
You reached the balcony, taking a spot next to him while also keeping some space between the two of you. Leaning on the balustrade (the railing of a balcony), you rested your head on top of your arms.
A comfortable silence was placed in the middle of the two. A silent breeze blew, adding to the mellow mood. 
“What brings you here?” the pretty stranger suddenly inquired, gaining a small jolt from your serene state. “Did I scare you? My apologies.”
“Oh, uh, it’s nothing...” You lifted your head to look out at the lands of Dihua Marsh. Seeing Dragonspine in the distance gave you a chill. Those were not the greatest memories. The small movement didn’t go unnoticed by the boy.
“You’re an adventurer?”
“Oh... yeah, I am... I’m not that experienced yet, though...” 
for SOME REASON... this man felt even more inclined to protect you
you still had a fair amount of bandages wrapped around your limbs, so it was clear that you were injured
GOD IF HE COULD JUST HUG YOU RIGHT THERE AND THEN
but he did not.
he has restraint.
he is a good boy.
“I met a traveler that wasn’t very experienced either.” This fact shocked you. So he has been here for a while... but why hadn’t you seen him before? Does he just... disappear into thin air..?
the answer is yes
he does indeed do that
but that’s besides the point.
“Oh... that’s nice...” 
It was getting late. The moon was starting to lower back down and the lids of your eyes were getting heavier and heavier by the minute. You let out a yawn, but it was muffled by your head being buried in your arms once again.
“You should go get some rest.” You hummed. 
Then, a thought popped into your head.
“If you don’t mind me asking... what’s your name?” 
Even though you weren’t facing him, you could feel his piercing gaze on you. It wasn’t uncomfortable at all, but gave you a feeling of protection.
“Xiao.” You mouthed his name to yourself silently. It was nice.
“Goodnight, Xiao. I hope that we can do this again soon.”
“Goodnight to you...”
“(Y/N).”
“...(Y/N).”
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you were a cryo catalyst that tried to fight against some cryo slimes alone
hint: that was a bad idea
my favourite elemental reaction was immune!
literally... you couldn’t even do anything to them
and you were getting beat up. 
badly.
for plot convenience you were at the lake next to Dawn Winery
“Shit...” 
At this point, you’d been fending these slimes off for around a quarter of an hour now and you were getting tired now.
Your dumbass tried to drown them in the lake but forgot that they immediately froze any moisture underneath them. You tried attacking them but everything you could do was inflict the freeze effect (against CRYO slimes). 
You literally could not do anything. Time to get frozen to death!
“Burn!”
WHAT???
Suddenly, a big fire bird swept up the slimes that had been occupying you for the last 20 minutes or so, effectively taking them out. 
At this point, the only thing that kept you standing was your adrenaline, which quickly ran out as you dropped to the ground in exhaustion. You let out a sigh, finally free from those damned slimes. You will have your revenge one day... just not today.
While you were resting on the ground, your saviour had been standing there, watching you calm down. And so you looked up to be greeted by probing crimson orbs, which definitely startled you.
Your saviour was.... Master Diluc. Master Diluc Ragnvindr, wealthiest man in Mondstadt. Him. In front of you. 
“OH! I, um, Master Diluc! What brings you here?” 
‘WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE??’ HE LIVES HERE THOUGH?? 
“I was taking a stroll around the winery and happened to see you in your own predicament.”
You attempted to stand up, though your legs failed you as you only flopped back onto the dirt. 
diluc doesn’t wanna admit it but that was unbelievably stupid, cute, and endearing
okay and what if this emo boy doesn’t like people
he still has feelings too >:(
“I’ll stay here with you so you won’t get attacked again. So relax.”
Mans was telling you to “relax” while you were in the presence of a literal typhoon here. He was so brooding and scary-looking all the time that you couldn’t even try to relax.
A few minutes pass and the sound of water rushing was the only thing keeping you two company. 
It was nice to enjoy nature, but the tension between the two of you was still higher than ever.
To break this silence, you had tried to stir up some small talk.
“The weather is nice today, huh...”
He grunted, which seemed to be a regular response of his. You started to notice this after a few questions like “how’s your day been” or “have any plans today?”
Not that you were genuinely interested. You bet that he could tell that you were trying to make it less awkward by responding at all, but it just didn’t help at all.
You were probably sitting for a good 10 minutes before deciding to stand up again, in which you were successful. But could you walk back to the city?
That was debatable.
You definitely felt and looked unstable, so being the gentleman he was raised to be, Diluc reluctantly bent down and slung your shoulder over his.
The height difference between the two of you was pretty big, so he ended up just carrying you to his place. As goofy as it looked, it got the job done.
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― riri ✨
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literaila · 4 years ago
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spencer reid x reader 
warnings: none... well angst.. and shitty writing 
***
Long nights out with the rest of the team were always dreadful the next morning. 
But Y/N felt like this morning was one of the worst. 
She’d woken up with mascara running down her face, her joints stiff and cracking at any little movement. Her head was banging from the inside out, and if she focused enough she could feel her brain beating against her skull. 
And don't even get her started on Spencer. 
It had taken Y/N at least 10 minutes to get him to open his eyes. Although he wasn't an avid drinker and had only taken a couple of sips of wine, he seemed to be even more hungover than Y/N did. She cuddled up to him, leaving kisses down his cheeks and neck before he would even consider opening her eyes. 
So like the dutiful girlfriend she was, Y/N got up and started a pot of coffee for both of them, and then headed into the bathroom to grab some advil, which she had to force-feed to Spencer. 
And eventually, after the alarm clock started blaring for the 6th time, both of them finally started to get ready. 
Their dynamic for mornings like this was simple, Y/N always got to shower first, while Spencer fought to stay awake without yawning every 10 seconds, and then Y/N went to go make breakfast for the both of them, which they would eat in the car on the way to the BAU. 
And that particular morning no one seemed to be up for any sort of chit chat, barely even passing casualties back and forth before sitting down at their desks ready for a day of paperwork. They made sure to plan a night full of drinking the night before a day of paperwork. They weren't idiots all of the time. 
Though their good planning all went to waste when Hotch asked them to meet him in the conference room. 
Hangovers and serial killers it was. 
***
“Bobby Smith, 9 years old, vanished 48 hours ago from a residential area, where his mother Marlene Smith, claims to have dropped him off.” Garcia started handing each one of the team members a folder. You could hear the drowsiness in her voice, and because everyone felt the same, they all pretended to not notice. 
There was a brief silence while they all read their files before Derek startled them back to life. 
“48 hours and we’re just learning about it now?” 
Y/N carefully grabbed Spencer's hand under the table, rubbing up and down his forearm while reading her file. It was tough to keep it professional at work, but Y/N always managed to keep the touching as limited as she could. But the ache she felt when she wasn't touching Spencer spread through her muscles like angry wind just begging her to reach out to him. And so she touched him, she felt comforted by the little body heat she could feel from even just resting her, it was especially comforting when they were on a difficult case. It was a rare occasion when she managed to keep her hands off of him, but Y/N tried to keep it as platonic as she could, not wanting to make Spencer of their coworkers uncomfortable. 
Though as she read through her file, she could see the little inconspicuous movements Spencer made. She wondered if he was trying to keep himself awake or just felt restless, either way, she kept her hand on his. 
What she didn't see was the panicked almost annoyed glances Spencer was giving her hand, she didn't see the way he was leaning away from her, moving his chair slightly to the right as to distance himself from her. 
JJ did though, she watched with a frown on her face listening to Gracia explain what had happened to the little boy, but not moving her eyes off of Spencer and Y/N. She tried not to notice Spencer's body language and the clear physical contact going on under the table. 
“So she's not exactly on the shortlist for the mother of the year,” JJ said, still clearly looking at the couple, while neither of them noticed. 
And she didn't look away, even when Spencer looked up and added a few notes of statistics, and Hotch announced it was time to go. 
They all made moves to get up and go, watching Hotch walk out the door in a rush to get everything set up for them to leave. JJ grabbed Spencer before he could protest, dragging him into her office. The others watched in confusion before Derek finally said 
“Guess we aren't invited to the party.” as he walked to grab his go-bag. 
“It's probably something about the case, we better get going. Hotch seemed stressed.”
Y/N didn't seem confused by JJ and Spencer's scene, and let her mind run thinking about the case. 
“Y/N?” She heard Hotch call. 
He handed her a file and asked if she would bring it to Spencer- apparently it was something about the Mother he wanted him to look over- and because of the circles under his eyes, and the tired way his body was leaning she was quick to agree. 
Walking over to JJ’s office, she was about to knock when she heard
“I love her JJ, I really really do. Sometimes though- I just- want some space- like you know I don't like touching anyone anyway, and I just-” he sighed and Y/N could feel herself holding her breath. “I just want some more space. I’m not sure how to tell her though”. 
Y/N could feel the tears prick at her eyes, her stomach had fallen, taking the rest of her organs with it. At that moment it felt like the world was so silent she could hear her own heart beating. She could only think of all the times Spencer had seemed to pull away, thinking of the way she thought it was just an accident, that he was just restless, just needed to move a little. 
But no. 
He just didn't want her to touch him. 
Y/N heard JJ sigh a soft “Spence…” before she turned away, forgetting about the file she was supposed to give him, and walking to get her bag so she could get the hell out of the office.   
***
Finding Bobby's Mother dead was hard. It caused more confusion with the cause, and now the last known witness to Bobby had been murdered. The only good thing that had happened was the unsub letting one of the little boys go. But still, none of the team's questions had been answered.
Not touching Spencer was hard too. 
Y/N had never been self-conscious about her affliction to touch, she’d never been afraid to hug someone, or rest her hands on their shoulders while looking at them. In fact, she couldn't remember a time in her life where she didn't like touching people, even as a kid it was clear she was a touchy-feely sort of person, but no one had ever wanted her to stop.
Spencer's germaphobic tendencies didn't go unnoticed by Y/N, when they’d first met he’d made it a point not to shake her hand, but as they got more comfortable with each other that changed. He didn't seem to mind her running her hands up and down her arms, or resting her hand on his cheek, or hugging him from behind any chance she got. She thought she was just special, that Spencer loved her so much that he didn't mind touching her, that there was nothing gross about sharing germs with someone that he was infatuated with. 
Hearing that she was wrong was deafening. 
Although she knew she was probably blowing things out of proportion, it felt like she’d been lied to for the last 2 years she and Spencer had been together. The guilt she felt just knowing she was making him uncomfortable by just being herself was insane. 
And she couldn't help but feel like she had no option but to change it all. 
So she didn't touch him, not on the plane, where usually they would share the couch while looking over the case once again with the team. She didn't touch him when he passed her in the hallway when they were sitting next to each other in a rental car when they walked to the hotel room when they had stopped to grab coffee the next morning. She didn't touch him at all. 
It was killing her. 
Touch was such a frequent thing for her, such a necessity and she’d never even realized it. Not touching him all the time was swallowing her whole, and filling her with doubt and insecurities that threatened to take over her mind. Anytime she wasn't working, wasn't helping out, wasn't thinking, his voice would come back, loud and clear, asking her for space. Nothing would get rid of the fear that she was too clingy, that she was just too much. 
It was hard to look at him without worrying if he actually hated her love if he was starting to realize she was just too much for him. Just a couple of sentences could bring back insecurities that weren't gone apparently, just lost, insecurities that haven't been found since the beginning of their relationship when everything was still new. Y/N thought she’d moved past them. 
But she hadn't. And now she was avoiding her boyfriend. 
They had both noticed the distance, the wall that separated them. Spencer didn't understand it at all, he didn't know if something had happened or if he had done something, and he couldn't find the courage to ask. Y/N didn't want him to know. She didn't want him to feel guilty. She tried to ignore it, the constant barrier between them, but there was always a tension in the room. 
But this was work, and a boy's life was at risk. Relationship problems were the least of anyone's worries. 
Y/N and Spencer were stuck in the tiny conference room they had given the team at the police station, both of them going over files, although Spencer was obviously doing most of the work. Y/N could feel her eyes starting to fall, it wasn't technically that late, but paired with the insomnia that kept her up at night and the exhausting day she had and even 6 o’clock would seem late to anyone. 
It’d been an uncomfortable hour of silence and reading when Spencer finally spoke up, 
“Is something wrong?” Y/N could feel him looking at her, leaning his head down as if to make eye contact, but all she could feel was the heat coming off his body, the comfortable way his hand would feel in hers, and the hug that she so desperately needed. Eye contact wasn't enough, would never be enough, so she didn't look up.
A couple of days ago they would have been sitting almost on each other's laps, while reading, pointing out small details they noticed and helping each other. A couple of days ago Y/N wouldn't feel sad at the sound of Spencer's voice, and she would have looked up. 
A couple of days ago seemed like a dream. 
She could hear Spencer sigh and put down the paper he was holding. “Y/N?” He came around and put his hand on her shoulder, and her breath caught. “Is there something wrong?” He asked again quietly. 
A million different answers flashed in her head “Yes Spencer I’ve found out that you don't actually like me touching you and I don't know any way to cope with that.” or “I feel so incredibly guilty that I’ve been forcing you to deal with something that you don't like, and I feel even worse that I didn't notice it.” or “I just want a hug.”
But none of those thoughts came out of her mouth, what came out instead was “Yes Spencer! A little boy is missing and none of us have any fucking clue how to find him!”, quickly she pulled away from his hand, and forcefully grabbed her bag before saying “I’m gonna go call Hotch” and left slamming the door behind her. 
She didn't look back to see the sad look on Spencer's face. 
***
Bobby was alive.
And so were the two other women the unsub had taken. 
They were alive.
And they had the rest of their lives to live. 
The unsub was off to jail, where hopefully he could get over his bitter feelings towards his mother. Where hopefully he wouldn't hurt anyone else. 
Bobby had a long walk ahead of him, with his mother gone, murdered by the same man that was supposed to be helping Bobby. The grief was going to hurt, he would always have a missing piece, and a difficult story to share. For the rest of his life. 
But he was alive. 
***
 Going home to their small apartment was a relief. For both of them.
Y/N couldn't help but hope for some sleep. Just anything that would make her feel better. She couldn't shake the devastating feeling of grief that was stuck pounding in her chest. 
As much as she tried she couldn't convince her mind to get rid of the cloud of sadness covering it. She figured a good night's sleep would help remove some of that. 
The clashing colors and filled to the top bookshelves in the apartment made her feel at home, and she tried to imagine them as if they were a hug that was keeping her safe and warm.
Silence filled the apartment, both of them not saying anything, and quickly moving into different rooms. Y/N went to the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. She was going to let Spencer have as much space as she could give him before she went to bed. 
They hadn't talked on the plane again, Y/N put as much distance between them on the couch as she could, and Spencer hasn't made any more moves to touch her since the scene in the conference room. Maybe he had taken the hint, or maybe he just didn't want to touch her. Y/N couldn't decide which one it was. 
“Y/N?” Spencer said slowly from the other room, almost as if he was questioning if she was still there. 
“Yeah?” she answered back in almost a whisper, which was fine for the acoustics of their small home. 
The acoustics that couldn't mask the sigh she heard come from the man in the other room before there was the distinct question of “can you come here?”. 
Y/N felt stupid being uncomfortable walking into her own room, but the tension between them had only grown in the past few days, and she really didn't want to be walking into another night of a clod bed and an unwavering feeling of doubt. 
“Do you need something Spence?” Y/N could hear the wheels of her boyfriend's brain turning from across the room. She had not directly addressed him in days. It was a surprise to both of them. 
“We need to talk.” The four words coming out of her boyfriend's mouth stopped her heart. Her brain was filled with what he had told JJ “I just need space.” What if he was breaking up with her? What if the space she was trying to give him wasn't enough? What if he needed so much space that even being in the same house as her was too much? What if she was still too much for him even when she was touching him?
Spencer cleared his throat and took a few steps toward her, moving closer to the door. “That sounded wrong I.. I didn't mean for it to sound like that- I just..” He stopped and she wondered why the words were so hard for him to get out? She wondered if this was really it. If the love of her life was going to leave. “What's going on with you?”
Now that, that surprised her. 
“W- what?” 
“Your face, I- I can see there's something wrong and I thought-'' Spencer's voice went up with his words, and Y/N could feel the emotion behind them. “ god I thought it was just the case because you seemed fine before, and that's what you told me. That's what you said!” his eyes were on her, watching her stare at the floor with such intensity clearly trying to voice the question in his voice. “I thought it was just the case? I thought it was just hard on you but you still look so.. So sad and you won't even look at me and just what is going on because there has to be something that I missed this- this didn't just happen?” His breath caught and all Y/N could do was stare at the floor and feel small. 
She felt so small. 
“N-” she cleared her throat trying to mask her voice into something stronger, “Nothing happened Spence.” 
“Then why won't you look at me?” He demanded still trying to get her to look up, still trying to get her to just look at him. 
“I- '' there were so many questions running through her head like how did they get there? How did any of this happen? How could she feel so miserable? Why couldn't she just look at him? 
“You haven't look at me, you haven't talked to me, you haven't even brushed your arm against mine once in the past week! I know something happened, and I don't know if I did something wrong? But I just want you to talk to me!”
The emotion coming from Spencer's voice surprised Y/N, but not as much as his words. He had actually noticed all of that? She felt so overwhelmed, and she had no idea how to answer him, how to explain everything. Tears were pricking at her eyes, and all she wanted to do was run away from him, from all the problems. She just wanted to run away.
Spencer took a deep breath and moved even closer to Y/N, standing right in front of her, ducking his head down to try to meet her eyes. “Y/N...we’re supposed to talk to each other. That's what couples do, they talk. I just want you to talk to me.” The desperation in his voice was obvious, but at that moment all Y/N could hear was ridiculing, and she felt like a child again, getting told what to do. And it was too much. 
She looked up. 
“That's what I thought Spencer! We’re supposed to talk to each other! So why couldn't you just tell me that you ‘needed space’?!?” The mocking was clear in her voice, and even though she saw the shocked look on her boyfriend's face she couldn't stop now. She moved her hands to wipe her tears and started again, “why couldn't you just tell me that I’m too much? Why did I have to find out by you talking to JJ?! God, I’m just trying to give you space but I’m not very good at it, so excuse me if I’m acting strange!”. 
Suddenly the mood in the room changed. Spencer finally understood, and Y/N felt relieved having her thoughts out in the open. Even though she was still terrified of what was going to happen, just expressing her feelings removed a big weight off of her chest. 
“Y/N..” 
“No! No. Its- it's fine. I’m sorry for yelling at you I’m just-” she felt small again, like all the courage she had was used when she had yelled at him. “I- maybe I’ll go see if Emily's okay with me crashing with her tonight- I just- I just have to get my stuff I’ll-” Y/N had turned around to go, ready to accept defeat when she felt the hands on her waist pulling her back. “Spence it's fine-”
“No, it's not fine.” He said harshly and insistently. He tried to get her to turn around, but she was frozen to her spot. “Will you please just look at me?” 
It took a few moments but hearing the desperation in his voice, Y/N finally let him turn her around. They stared at each other for a few moments, both of them stuck on the eyes they hadn't actually seen in days. Spencer was the first to break the silence. 
“I'm so so sorry.” The confusion must have been clear on his girlfriend's face because he continued, “I can't believe you could ever think I needed space from you, I can't believe I could ever believe I needed space from you.” There was guilt laced with frustration in his voice, and Y/N couldn't bring herself to speak. 
Spencer was gentle while removing his hands from her waist, and instead placing them on her face, gently lifting her chin so that she couldn't look away. It was strange to be so intimate after not touching him for days. But the relief coming from Y/N’s body was clear, just a little touch removed all the ache she’d been feeling for days.
“I was wrong.” Spencer started again, the sentence unusual for someone as smart as him. “I don't need space, I just need you. I just need you Y/N.” his eyes were pleading with hers instant, and she hoped hers were telling him it was alright. “It was unbearable not touching you. I’ve felt so closed in, claustrophobic, these past couple of weeks and I thought I was because of you, but it wasn't, you touching me was the only thing holding me together honestly.” 
Y/N felt more tears leave her, this time with happiness. Hearing that she could touch Spencer again flooded her body with the light she’d been missing. 
“I'm so sorry you heard me talking. I’m so sorry I was talking in the first place. I never really know when to keep my mouth shut.” They both laughed at his words. The tension was gone, and instead, a bliss overcame them, the distance was so exhausting for both of them, touching each other was like caffeine that made their skin buzz. 
“I love you, Spencer. I'm sorry for being so difficult.” He frowned at Y/N’s words, moving his thumbs slowly on her cheeks, and leaning down to kiss her. 
It was soft and slow, almost like Spencer was trying to tell her how much he loved her, and how much he loved being with her through a kiss. And it reminded Y/N of their first kiss, so much questioning but still deeper. So she kissed him and tried to display the same feelings for him. 
“You aren't going anywhere okay?” Spencer said breaking the kiss, a small smile resting on his face, a smile Y/N hadn't seen in days.
She pecked his lips and grinned at him, “just hold me okay?”.
And they were going to be okay. They hadn't talked everything out, but they were both exhausted, both barely awake. They would leave it for the night, and they would sleep peacefully in each others arms. Never again would space be included in the language they were building together. 
pt. 2 here
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maximotts · 3 years ago
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♡ 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘵. 𝘪𝘪 ♡ {𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵}
pt. i || pt. iii
a/n: ahaha remember when I said all would be fixed in this part? Turns out I lied. Part 2 was getting way too long and I didn't want this to feel rushed so part 3 will be the final part, but fret not, I'm finalizing part 3 as we speak because I didn't want to leave y'all at another painful cliffhanger. That'll be up right after this one before I go to bed tonight
warnings: angst, another semi-argument, Wanda reading Natasha's thoughts, a gallon of hurt feelings, panic attacks (Wanda)
summary: Natasha can't give Wanda space anymore after an Incident. aka the Secret Softy finally realizes she misses the Small Sunshine
words: 3.1k
masterlist. || navi. || request info/rules. :open
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𝘮𝘰𝘺𝘢 𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘬𝘢𝘺𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘬𝘢 = 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭
𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘬𝘢 = 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺
𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘰𝘺 = 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵
✣ ✣ ✣
It’d been three weeks. Three weeks since she’d seen Wanda, eaten any meals with her, watched her dark hair fall gently over her shoulders as she laughed, or felt her soft hands brush against her fingers for reassurance or in a silent request to be held. Safe to say, Natasha missed Wanda terribly. Even more so, the guilt from how deeply she’d hurt the person she cared about was eating her alive. She saw Wanda’s wounded face almost as frequently as she blinked and she longed to reach out and hug her until it was all better.
She had made attempts. The night of her blow up, Natasha knocked on Wanda’s door for a good five minutes. It was obvious she was in there, sitcom laughter emanating from her television. After a while it was clear she wasn’t ready to talk and Natasha understood; she wouldn’t want to talk to her either. She resigned herself to seeing Wanda at breakfast the next morning, hoping maybe a friendly smile from across the room would let the girl know she wasn’t mad at her. But Wanda was nowhere to be found. Two days of missed meals later and having tripped over a dirty sandwich plate in front of Wanda’s room and Natasha realized she was purposely avoiding even the possibility of having to sit next to the redhead when she ate. Again, Natasha couldn’t blame her.
Now three weeks in, Natasha settled on just walking in. Wanda rarely kept her door locked when she was inside, she and Natasha were the only ones with permanent rooms on the female residence side and there was never an issue with Nat coming in unannounced- until now of course. An hour’s worth of hyping herself up behind her, she took the ten steps next door to where she’d hopefully be able to fix her awful mess. Still she hovered outside, hand outstretched, hovering as she took one last deep breath.
Her hand never reached the doorknob.
Before Natasha could make contact with the metal, a hot spark of red zapped her hand and she jumped back to avoid further attack. “Wa-”
“Don’t even think about it, Natasha Romanoff.” The first time she heard that voice again, she didn’t expect it to sound so dangerous. Natasha expected anger, but she didn’t know Wanda could sound so threatening.
She’d be a fool to try the knob again, it’d only upset her further. Nevertheless, it was important she at least got part of her message out. “I know you’re upset, Wanda. I’m upset with myself too. I was wrong, so wrong. I never should have hurt you like I did, I should have just talked to you. That’s on me. I want to prove to you I’m sorry, maybe even earn your trust back eventually? Whenever you’re ready.” Natasha sighed, twisting her still tingling hand in the other. “I miss you, but I ruined us. Not you. I’m sorry, Wanda.”
Unbeknownst to Natasha, Wanda had wandered closer to the door as soon as she noticed the other pacing outside of her doorway. She wasn’t ready to talk to her; she couldn’t find a way to face her yet without fear of looking like she was coming crawling back without having heard an apology, but before she could think too hard on it, Natasha was speaking. Her heart grew heavy with the weight of Natasha’s words. She wasn’t one for feelings or true emotions and although fairly clumsily uttered, Wanda knew sincerity when she heard it. Swayed as her heart was to run into the arms of the woman she missed for the past week, her brain instantly reminded her of other words.
You still want her after she told you how clingy you are? She’s right. You are pathetic.
The ache was back, stinging just as sharp as the day she’d first heard. She couldn’t yet.
Wanda’s back hit the wall, sinking to the floor with her knees huddled close to her chest. She knew Natasha had just been angry when she lashed out, that she wouldn’t typically be so public with her outbursts, much less direct them towards her, but there were some true feelings within those poison laced words and Wanda didn’t want to have that conversation yet.
“Well.. you know where to find me.” Wanda hated how sad Natasha sounded; she must’ve been tearing herself apart. She despised not being able to fix things. Soft footsteps told Wanda she was fully alone again and although that should have let her relax, she groaned with how empty she felt once more.
✣ ✣ ✣
Another week went by with no exchanged words and Natasha was beginning to give up hope. She’d ruined everything between them seemingly irreparably; asking any of her teammates yielded a non-committal response, none of them were spending tons of time with her either. She’d given up on knocking, having only met silence or words of warning. All she could do was wait.
For Wanda’s part, she felt like she was going to burst. Her skin felt like it was on fire, nervous energy sparking right under the surface. She’d closed herself off to everyone, opening herself up to Natasha was a mistake, it must have been. Her last words to her had been apologetic and kind, but the hurtful ones still lingered and she felt stuck. It was tearing her apart. Even more so, today’s training left her disoriented- earthquake simulation. As the fake ground shook under her and buildings fell, Wanda was spiraled back to childhood and more recently, Sokovia, and although she played it off as nothing with others, as soon as she was back in the safety of her room she fell apart.
Before she would seek out Natasha, whisper her worries against her skin from under the safety of a warm blanket. She couldn’t do that now, couldn’t ask such a thing from Natasha after what she said and after near radio silence for a month. Wanda huddled in her own bed, tired eyes staring longingly at the wall separating her and Natasha’s room. The person she wanted -needed- was so close, but so far. “You’re fine. You’ve dealt with this alone before.”
✣ ✣ ✣
Natasha couldn’t sleep. Not for lack of exhaustion; she’d been training longer these days in hopes of catching more glimpses of Wanda, just to make sure she looked okay. It was working and thankfully from what she could see, Wanda was alright. The past few days were different though; she looked more tired, dragging along more and more, and now today she’d survived the earthquake simulator. To anyone else, Wanda looked like her normal self, quiet and to herself, but Natasha saw the girl’s hands shake, watched her stance go slack in a way she’d warned Wanda against many times. Afterwards, Wanda was off to her usual seclusion before Natasha could reach her from across the room so she settled for giving Bruce a stern talking to instead. He should’ve known better than to shove Wanda in that simulation, especially by herself.
She left a properly admonished Bruce, heading in the direction of Wanda’s room. Arguments be damned, she wouldn’t let Wanda explode alone, even if she hated her for intruding after. If her repeated self-reassurance weren’t enough to convince her by the time she reached her destination, the moans and whines from within set her mind. Natasha hovered again, weighing the consequences, but Wanda let out such a sob that she couldn’t ignore. “Wanda? Can I come in please?” Her hand landed safely on the door, an improvement from last time.
“It’s just me, I wanted to check on you after training.” No response, but no rejection either. She turned the knob, grateful Wanda seemed to have forgotten to lock the door. Whether it was a mistake or a silent hope for Natasha’s intervention, she didn’t know, but she would use the opportunity. She could barely find Wanda in the dark room, but her eyes settled on the small form in the middle of her large bed and Natasha was by her side in an instant.
“Wanda? Sweetheart, hey, it’s me. What’s wrong?” Her eyes were unfocused, pupils blown wide with fear. Natasha longed to scoop her up, but she couldn’t startle her; she didn’t even know if she’d want her there once she realized who she was. Still, it hurt so deeply to have let her get this bad; she could’ve helped if Wanda trusted her enough to reach out. Natasha waited for what felt like hours until Wanda noticed her, crouching by a bed was rough on her tired knees, but she’d stay like that forever if need be. When Wanda finally made eye contact, she only stared at the redhead, as if figuring out whether the woman in front of her was real or not. She took a daring step, holding her hand out to Wanda, keeping it in her eyeline as long as she could until her palm reached her head. Her thumb moved, ever so softly, over her scalp as a test. Anything she could do to soothe her. “I’m here, Wands.”
If Natasha weren’t so strong, Wanda would’ve knocked her over. She’d thrown her full weight onto her in an instant, clinging to Natasha for dear life while her lower half still hung from the bed. There were so many things tearing at her, so much emotion she needed to unload, but she was too overwhelmed. Natasha had come to her. Had ignored their month of silence and hurt feelings to try to aid her and it left her stunned. “Tash- Natasha.. I-I’m so sorry..”
“Ah, no none of that,” Natasha stood with a grunt, taking Wanda with her to set them both on the bed. She navigated her way to the top of the bed in the dark, only stopping when her back hit the headboard, letting Wanda hold onto her, “This is my fault, I’m sorry. I should have been here for you.”
Wanda shook her head slowly, burying herself as far into the crook of her neck as deep as she could. “No. I should’ve been able to handle training today. You were right, I can’t do anything myself. I’m weak and pathetic and..” Sobs took over any chance of coherent words, shaking against the warm body she’d missed so much. Part of her screamed to move away, to suck up her tears and prove to Natasha she was just fine on her own. But she couldn’t pretend. She was fine on her own, she could handle it, but she needed the comfort of someone she trusted too. Someone she could relay her thoughts too instead of bottling them all inside until they got the best of her.
Before she knew it, Natasha felt tears rolling down her cheeks as well. She hated crying, couldn’t stand being so outwardly vulnerable with someone else, but if Wanda could be with her then she owed her the same trust. Toned arms pulled the small woman trembling against her closer, pressing frantic kisses to the crown of her head, anything to show her apologies. “You’re not weak for your emotions, detka. It’s one of the strongest things you could do to allow yourself to open yourself up and trust me.. I should have given you that same trust and been honest from the start.” Natasha cradled Wanda’s head to her chest, rocking her as sweetly as she could. She knew she was holding her a fraction too tight, but she couldn’t help it. Reassuring fingers brushed through long brunette hair, keeping her as close as possible.
“Can you forgive me?” The muffled voice from below temporarily shook Natasha from her waterfall of revelations and she remembered why they were in this situation.
“Moya sladkaya detka, you were forgiven weeks ago. You were trying to help me and yes, we need to talk about how I deal with the aftermath of long missions because I do sometimes need time to myself, but nothing, nothing you did warranted how I hurt you.” Wanda froze and for a moment Natasha was scared she would pull away, but she nodded slowly. “Can you forgive me?”
That was a loaded question. Wanda fought to clear her thoughts, organize them in any way that could possibly make sense. She wanted so badly to simply accept and stay in Natasha’s arms. It wasn’t that she thought Natasha was lying to her; she truly believed she was sorry for what she did, but that didn’t mean those words didn’t still swirl through her head everyday since she’d first uttered them. It was hard to think so close to her. Wanda pried herself away from Natasha, not missing the way Natasha kept hold on her hips as if letting go meant she’d lose her forever. “I want to forgive you, Natasha.”
It hurt, but it was fair. She didn’t expect an easy apology and didn't deserve one either. “There’s a but coming, right?” Wanda couldn’t meet her eyes; she only avoided eye contact when she had more to say and was biding her time. “You don’t have to forgive me, Wanda. I’m willing to do whatever you need to make you feel safe again, no matter how long it takes.” And she meant it. Natasha would put in the work for Wanda, she was more than worth it.
She knew what she needed. It was the only way she could think of easing her mind. Still, Wanda promised she wouldn’t do it again unless she had to, but… she had to. “I need to feel you.” A hesitant ring-clad hand reached out, tapping Natasha’s temple to finish the thought she couldn’t speak. “Nothing traumatic, nothing too deeply buried.. hopefully, at least.” Rarely was it hard for Wanda to search out thoughts in someone about a particular person who crossed their mind regularly. She hoped it was more than wishful thinking that Natasha had her in her thoughts with some frequency. “Please, Tash… I need to know you feel more for me than just ‘clingy, weak puppy.’”
Natasha opened her mouth to retort, to try to take her harsh words back, but she knew it wouldn’t help. The thought of Wanda searching through her mind again scared her still. Last time left her shaken for weeks, months, after what she’d dug up, but back then Wanda was looking to hurt her and damn, she was great at it. She had to trust she wouldn’t do that now. Trust was so hard. A promise was a promise, though. Natasha took Wanda’s free hand in both of hers, a lifeline to hold while she gave herself to the woman she cared so much for. “Okay.. be gentle?”
Wanda let out a chuckle; Natasha’s sensitive side was so very cute. “I would never be anything but, dorogoy.” Natasha nodded, swallowing her fears with reassurance. Wanda was only ever kind to her, too much at times; Steve and Sam never missed an opportunity to poke fun at Natasha when in the early days Wanda was practically exploding with nerves around the redhead. Eventually they figured out it was less that Wanda thought Natasha was going to beat the pulp out of her and more that she wished the older woman would crush her with her thighs- but the two men waited for Natasha to figure that one out on her own.
“Go ahead, Wands. Just be quick about it, alright? I don’t want to spill all my secrets right now.” Wanda agreed with a quiet hum, shaking her head and straightening her spine before moving her fingers alongside Natasha’s head. It reminded her of the first time they’d officially met; a bittersweet memory of how stunning she felt her then enemy was, but bringing her trauma to the surface before those steadfast blue eyes caught sight of her. Now though, Wanda was careful. Only going deep enough to look at Natasha’s memories and thoughts about her. How surprised she was that Wanda was as powerful as she was. Her instant and ongoing distrust of her when she and her brother came to aid the Avengers in Sokovia. Natasha’s annoyance at her stolen red jacket, with an added and apparently shocking sense of possessiveness brought on by seeing her in her clothing. Interesting. Wanda would note that little fact for the future.
Red ringed eyes shone in the darkness, both locked onto Natasha’s and staring far past her. She wanted to be open and honest, that was the whole point. Consequently Wanda let Natasha see what she was seeing and with every twinge of irritation her past self felt towards Wanda and her initial attempts to gain trust with her new team, specifically with herself, her current self cringed at her behavior. But slowly things shifted. Resentment shifted to reluctant endearment, then care and protection and finally into where she longed for Wanda’s calming presence when she was stressed or wanted a confidant. The weight of vulnerability felt like being flayed alive and despite the hand Natasha held using one finger to stroke reassuringly at her palm, she squirmed as they approached that night Natasha came home a month ago.
“You’re fighting me.” The brunette’s eyebrows furrowed, pushing harder at the memory Natasha was keeping away from her. “Stop it.”
Red curls shook as Natasha hung her head; she didn’t want to live through it again. Every night it haunted her. She should’ve just talked to her, given her credit for being one of the most understanding people she’s ever met, having her see it again would just push Wanda further away- “I can still hear your thoughts, Natasha.” Her racing concerns rang loud in Wanda’s own brain, blocking out any hope of unlocking that dreaded outburst until she could get her to calm down. “Trust me, please. You have to let me in.” True, Wanda could forcibly rip the memory from her with ease. It would take such little effort, but she wouldn’t- couldn’t. She needed Natasha to let her see, allow herself to be this forthcoming with Wanda. That would speak louder than anything.
It took everything in Natasha to take her next breath, “Okay, do it.” Wanda breathed a sigh of relief, Natasha’s agreement giving her hope of progress. She slipped her hand from Natasha’s warm grasp, ignoring the small sad noise she was sure Natasha didn’t want to talk about. Instead her hand went to the back of Natasha’s head and brought it forward to rest on her shoulder, her nose promptly burying itself in the crook of Wanda’s neck. Her gentle floral scent settled Natasha’s worries; it’d been too long since she was allowed so close. “I trust you.”
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