#rufus taylor imagine

[bluesfortheredj]

A helping hand.

A/N: You can tell when this was meant to come out... anyway, sorry again for the delay but I'm finally settled in the house now and will be getting the last requests out when I can :)

Christmas.

The most wonderful time of the year.

Supposedly, anyway.

Yours seemed more stressful than usual this year though; between worrying about money, what presents to get people on your tighter budget, and how you were going to organise Christmas this year between the two families you had very little to smile about. The festive cheer had certainly evaded you so far and it was already the beginning of December.

“Right, Jane’s said she’s not doing presents this year which should give us some wiggle room for others,” you sigh, having just received the fortuitous text message.

You look down to the notebook which had a list of names and the gift ideas next to them, then cross her name out with a relieved huff and look over to where Rufus sits tapping away on his phone enthusiastically. A grin spreads across his tired looking face and he suddenly meets your gaze with wide, excited eyes.

“I know this is super last minute but look at this!”

He jumps from the armchair to the seat next to you on the sofa with a bounce and thrusts his phone under your nose for you to see the email that had got him so riled up, then you make out the main words that make your heart sink a little; fly out to France for two nights, back on Christmas eve.

“Oh… Wow… It’s, uh… a great opportunity.”

“So it’ll be a week in total what with rehearsals in London…” he grins, “but this is amazing!”

“A week?” you repeat, having missed that part of the email completely, “but we’ve got so much to do before the big day…”

“It’ll be fine,” he says with a wave of his hand, “don’t worry! I’ll do what I can before all this, and I promise you’ll have the bare minimum to do after.”

You give him a nod and a smile but you knew Rufus too well by now, and he wasn’t exactly the most organised of humans, in fact he was quite simply the complete opposite and regularly left most things until the last second. His attention turns back to the device in his hands as he excitedly types his reply back to this thrilling event he’d been invited to, and you can’t help but feel a heavy sensation in your stomach at the thought of the next couple of weeks.

It was edging ever closer to the big day when Rufus finally appears from the stairwell just as you place your plate in the sink and grab the reusable bags from the side, “you ready?”

He briefly looks up from his phone with a questioning brow, “for what?”

“Christmas shopping, silly! You said we’d get it done today while you’re still here.”

“Shit, of course, yeah, I’ve just gotta meet Danny in town and then I’m all yours, I promise.”

“But…”

He gives your cheek a fleeting kiss then shrugs his jacket on, “I’ll meet you at the shops, I’ll phone you when I’m done!”

With that, he disappears out of the front door, leaving you with the bags gripped firmly in your grasp, your fingers tightening with anger as you stare at the door he’d only just exited seconds before. You knew this was going to happen and yet you couldn’t help feeling disappointed that it had.

“Hmph,” you huff, grabbing your handbag and deciding to do this by yourself instead.

Your mind is a jumble of emotions as you walk around the shops picking up bits for everyone; on one hand you knew that Rufus couldn’t pass up an opportunity like this, yet on the other you wished he didn’t let it totally consume him, especially now with it being so close to Christmas and you needing help with the preparations for it. You eye yet another bath set for your mum and place it down in the trolley in front of you with a sad sigh before making your way to the checkout and checking your phone for a call you knew wouldn’t be coming.

It’s late when you finally get home and you can see the lights on inside indicating that someone was already there, so you trudge up the path with your hands full of heavy bags and give the door a couple of taps with your foot.

“Babe!” he grins when he opens up to find you standing there, “let me take some of those.”

He grabs a couple from each hand and you follow him inside, pushing the front door shut with your elbow as you watch his familiar blonde ponytail disappear into the lounge.

“Busy day then, huh?” you say quietly, trying to keep your anger from bubbling over.

He pouts as he lowers the bags carefully to the floor, leaning them up against the sofa, “I’m so sorry, everything took longer than expected and then we got something to eat and I knew you’d be done by the time we got out of there so I just-”

You can’t help but scoff at his answer; you were already enraged and his bumbling excuse about going for dinner rather than helping you tipped you over the edge, “I can’t do this,” you shrug, dropping the bags with a thud and turn to walk away.

“Can’t do what? Where are you going?!” he worries.

“You said you were going to call and meet me in town to help with all this,” you reply, spinning around and gesturing to the bags scattered across the floor, “you said that before you had to fly off you’d make sure you could help me so that I had the minimum amount left before Christmas.”

“I know, and I’m sorry! What about tomorrow?”

“No,” you reply sternly, “no. I have a job too you know, and it’s our busiest time of the year as well, but no, don’t worry about me, I’ll just sort the presents, the food, the budget that’s required a hell of a lot of adjusting this year…”

“That’s why I’m doing this! I know we need the money, so that’s yet another reason why I agreed to it!” he reaches out for you but you step backwards and shake your head.

“I appreciate that, I really do, but I also just really needed your help today. It wasn’t like you were being paid to go eat after the meeting was it? Ru, I’m exhausted, and I’ve got work in the morning, and I’m going to have to do everything else without you when you jet off again, so I genuinely really did need you today.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighs morosely.

You sniff a little before pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration, “so am I,” you whisper, once more turning towards the door and heading out to your car.

“Where are you going?” he asks, attempting to grab onto the vehicle door as you shut it.

“My parent’s place.”

“What?! Why?!”

“I need to cool off.”

You hastily put the car into reverse and make your exit as quickly as you possibly can without seeing the hurt in the eyes of the man you love. As soon as you get onto the main road you regret it but you have to stand your ground and reluctantly continue the short journey to your parent’s house in a stony silence, not even the radio uttering a note. Once you turn into your parent’s road you park up and sit in the quiet that had accompanied you on the entire journey as your mind whirs with regret and sadness.

“Fuuuck,” you whisper as your forehead connects with the steering wheel.

The engine is still running as you roll your head from side to side slowly until eventually you make the decision to turn straight back around and head home. The last thing you wanted was for Rufus to leave while you were in the middle of a disagreement so you knew you had to make things right even though you did want to stand your ground about the matter.

You open the front door slowly and carefully once you get back, not wanting to make your appearance known straight away, but Rufus soon comes bounding down the stairs as soon as you shut the door behind you and his lips land on yours in a desperate kiss.

“I didn’t think you were going to come back,” he whispers breathlessly between kisses, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

He cups your jaw delicately yet firmly as he presses his lips on and around your mouth while your fingers weave into his blonde hair with ease, “I’m sorry,” you manage to mumble when his lips move.

He pulls away with a slight frown, “I’m sorry,” he sighs, “I didn’t mean to be such a selfish asshole, I wasn’t thinking, I-” you cut him off with another kiss.

“It’s okay, do you wanna apologise here, or upstairs?”

There’s a moment where he processes what you’re saying, then his eyebrows lift as his lips turn up into a smile, “upstairs.”

Request: Could you please make one with Rufus where they have a Big fight, reader leaves and come back later and they reunite + more

[senamarais]

My Favourite Screenshots from Gossip Girl: Season Three, Part 1.

[taylorhawkins]

via Foo Fighters

[anonymouscuzwhynot001]

so idk how big of a stretch this is, but i feel like "enchanted" by taylor swift could somehow fit into mateo and rufus's story

like the bridge for example

"this was the very first page, not where the storyline ends; my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again; these are the words i held back as i was leaving too soon; i was enchanted to meet you"

like in my mind i can imagine that as the soundtrack as the stove explodes and mateo is thrown backwards and it's all in slow-mo

like y'know how they were talking about the afterlife and shit and like "my thoughts will echo your name / until i see you again" like see rufus again in the afterlife and "i was leaving too soon" becuz he died :P

and you can probs figure out the rest

so yeah 😁

[stesichoreanpalinode]

Seeing this made me wonder: is Rufus Taylor the same height as Brian? Is he a bit taller? Imagining Roger realising this if so…

[clown-demon]

Mun Comforts

Comfort food(s): Cheese, mac n cheese, mozzarella cheese sticks, pizza, croutons, gummies, starbursts, peas, corn, french toast.

Comfort drink(s): Grape drinks, energy drinks, grape and raspberry ICE, Fruit punch ICE, Fruit punch crystal light, grape crystal light, soda

Comfort movie(s): Bungou Stray Dogs Dead Apple, The Cat Returns, Spirited Away.

Comfort show(s): Bungou Stray Dogs, Bleach, My Hero Academia, Chowder, Rocko's Modern Life, Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

Comfort clothing: Anything baggy

Comfort song(s): Bernadette by IAMX, Killer by The Hoosiers, Black Rover by Blinding Sunrise, Acid Rocket by DK-Zero, Get Jinxed (Russian) by Onsa Media, Happy by Secrets in Studio, Execution is Fun! by Tardigrade Inferno, Everyday is Halloween by Creature Feature, Misery Go Round by Night Club, Toy Soldiers by Marianas Trench, Burnt Babies Fear the Fire by Blaqk Audio, Simping for the Villian by Boy Jr., Lucifer by Elle Lexxa, Kinda Outta Luck by Medusa, Boy Jr., Heart Eater by Connie Glynn, Happy Face by Jagwar Twin, Better than Drugs by Skillet, Happy Face by Aesthetic Perfection, Summer Goth by Aesthetic Perfection, Clarity by ZEDD Foxes, BEELZEBUZ by Fake Type, Everyday Oblivion by 8Graves, Evil by 8Graves, Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift, Dead Air by Rufus Rex, Shallow Grave by The Birthday Massacre, Happy Birthday by The Birthday Massacre, Bones by Imagine Dragons, Wash it all away by Five Finger Death Punch, All Systems Go by Krypteria, I Idolize you by Massive Ego, Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie, Merry Go Round by Man with a Mission, The Perfect World by Marty Friedman, Monkey Boy by Kontrust, Dried Moat by Stolen Babies, Oh Raven (Sing me your Happy Song) by Unlike Pluto, Rad Drugz by MISSIO, Can you Feel the Sun by MISSIO, Riptide by grandson, Toxicity by System of a Down, Kill Everyone by Hollywood Undead, The Underground by 8Graves and Unlike Pluto, Blood//Water by grandson, Villain of my Own Story by Unlike Pluto, Outrunning Karma by Alec Benjamin, Turn the Lights off by Tally Hall, Hit the Streets by Aesthetic Perfection, Oh! Gloria by Aesthetic Perfection, Big Bad Wolf by Aesthetic Perfection, Riot by Three Days Grace, Fly Home by The Living Tombstone, Can't Wait by The Living Tombstone, Not One Less by Ken Ashcorp, Alkatraz by Demon Dice, The Sky Will Turn by The Birthday Massacre, Touch Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon, Ghost by Mystery Skulls, Thnks fr th Mmrs by Fall Out Boys, Coin Operated Boy by The Dresden Dolls, Pyramid by Two Door Cinema Club, Stray Cat by Vicke Blanka, Kids by MGTM, Devil's Wedding by Fake Type, Back on Track by DJVI,

Comfort book(s): Bungou Stray Dogs, Guardians of Ga'Hoole, cat Warriors, The Sight, Wings of Fire

Comfort game(s): Hollow Knight, Okami, Pokemon, Disgaea, WoW, FFXIV, Guild Wars II, Wario Ware, Super Smash Bros.

Tagged by: @villains4hire (THANK YOU!)

Tagging: (You don't have to!): @kitxkatrp, @yoxngmadnxss, @giftandguile, @electricea, @swordduels, @pluviacuratio, and anyone else who wants to!

[theweirdkidinside03]

Trending Hits of 2022: Harry Styles’ As It Was ruled the year

1. As It Was - Harry Styles

2. Heat Waves - Glass Animals

3. Left And Right (feat. Jung Kook of BTS) - Charlie Puth

4. We Don’t Talk About Bruno - Encanto Cast

5. Anti Hero - Taylor Swift

6. Unholy - Sam Smith & Kim Petras

7. Super Freaky Girl - Nicki Minaj

8. Betty (Get Money) - Yung Gravy

9. About Damn Time - Lizzo

10. First Class - Jack Harlow

11. I’m Good (Blue) - David Guetta & Bebe Rexha

12. abcdefu - Gayle

13. Enemy - Imagine Dragons & JJD

14. I Like You (A Happier Song) (with Doja Cat) - Post Malone

15. Made You Look - Meghan Trainor

16. Bam Bam (feat. Ed Sheeran) - Camila Cabello

17. Sweetest Pie - Megan Thee Stallion & Dua Lipa

18. because i like a boy - Sabrina Carpenter

19. Hold My Hand - Lady Gaga

20. Sunroof - Nicky Youre

21. Light Switch - Charlie Puth

22. Yet To Come - BTS

23. Boyfriend - Dove Cameron

24. Bad Decisions - benny blanco, BTS & Snoop Dogg 

25. Late Night Talking - Harry Styles

26. Until I Found You - Stephen Sanchez

27. Oh My God - Adele

28. Woman - Doja Cat

29. Let Somebody Go - Coldplay & Selena Gomez

30. The Joker & The Queen (feat. Taylor Swift) - Ed Sheeran

31. Middle Of A Breakup - Panic! At The Disco

32. One Right Now - Post Malone & The Weeknd

33. The Outside - twenty one pilots

34. I Hate U - SZA

35. Sacrifice - The Weeknd

36. WYAT (Where You At) - SB19

37. PINK VENOM - BLACKPINK

38. Don’t Wake Me Up - Jonas Blue & Why Don’t We

39. That That (feat. SUGA of BTS) - Psy

40. Glimpse Of Us - Joji

41. Celestial - Ed Sheeran

42. Hold Me Closer - Elton John & Britney Spears

43. HOT - SEVENTEEN

44. Muli - Ace Banzuelo

46. Amazing - Orange Rex Country

47. Bones - Imagine Dragons

48. So Good - Halsey

49. Fast Times - Sabrina Carpenter

50. Bejeweled - Taylor Swift

51. Potion - Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa & Young Thug

52. Blow - Jackson Wang

53. Out Of Time - The Weeknd

54. Calm Down - Rema & Selena Gomez

55. Stay With Me (feat. Justin Timberlake, Halsey & Pharrell) - Calvin Harris

56. Where We Started - Thomas Rhett & Katy Perry

57. Falling Back - Drake

58. Maybe You’re The Problem - Ava Max

59. Churchills Down (feat. Drake) - Jack Harlow

60. Million Dollar Baby - Ava Max

61. Get Into It (Yuh) - Doja Cat

62. Nail Tech - Jack Harlow

63. Make You Say - Zedd, Maren Morris & Beaux

64. tears in the club (feat. The Weeknd) - fka twigs

65. DON’T YOU WORRY - Black Eyed Peas, David Guetta & Shakira

66. Sharks - Imagine Dragons

67. When You’re Gone - Shawn Mendes

68. COMPLETE MESS - 5 Seconds of Summer

69. Honest (feat. Don Toliver) - Justin Bieber

70. Copped Up (with Roddy Ricch) - Post Malone

71. Gasoline - The Weeknd

72. Forever My Love - J Balvin & Ed Sheeran

73. Loser - Charlie Puth

74. Music For a Sushi Restaurant - Harry Styles

75. The Loneliest Time (feat. Rufus Wainwright) - Carly Rae Jepsen

76. Lift Me Up - Rihanna

77. It’ll Be Okay - Shawn Mendes

78. When I’m Gone - Alesso & Katy Perry

79. That’s Hilarious - Charlie Puth

80. SUBSTANCE - Demi Lovato

81. Don’t Let The Light Go Out - Panic! At The Disco

82. Lost Without You - Kygo & Dean Lewis

83. Every Summertime - NIKI

84. Part Of The Band - The 1975

85. I Ain’t Worried - OneRepublic

86. Are You Entertained (feat. Ed Sheeran) - Russ

87. psychofreak (feat. WILLOW) - Camila Cabello 

88. Dueles Tan Bien - Bruses

89. Easy Lover (feat. Big Sean) - Ellie Goulding

90. ex i never had - LANY

91. Me, Myself & I - 5 Seconds of Summer

92. Like This - Marshmello & 2KBABY

93. Love It When You Hate Me (feat. blackbear) - Avril Lavigne

94. Humankind - Coldplay

95. Words (feat. Zara Larsson) - Alesso

96. 2step (feat. Lil Baby) - Ed Sheeran

97. Dangerous - Madison Beer

98. I Lost Myself In Loving You - Jamie Miller

99. For Your Love - Gunnar Gehl

100. Can’t Handle It - Brevin Kim

[beyond-radio]

Beyond Radio Presents - Castlist 011 - Ep 1 - What I Did Last Summer - The 40th Annual Music Party

This is the first of 3 episodes focusing on a few music-oriented stories from this past summer. The first episode talks about things from my 40th annual music party (the Castlist 002 episodes from the fall of 2018 talk about the #1's at the parties). It was a great party, the weather cooperated and there were a few key moments that I talked about in the episode. Here I am posting the top 50 songs from the party game and the top 50 artists of the last 40 years.

We mentioned and/or used 43 songs in this episode. And I brought up the Peanuts cartoon and the TV Kids Incorporated.

The top 50 for the party game.

1 PINK Never Gonna Not Dance Again 2 KELLY CLARKSON Happier Than Ever 3 HARRY STYLES Music For A Sushi Restaurant 4 SAM SMITH & KIM PETRAS Unholy 5 PINK Trustfall 6 LIZZO About Damn Time 7 MILEY CYRUS Flowers 8 MANESKIN The Loneliest 9 HARRY STYLES As It Was 10 HARRY STYLES Late Night Talking 11 GHOST Jesus He Knows Me 11 THE WOMBATS This Car Drives All By Itself 13 MAMMOTH WVH Mr. Ed 14 JVKE Golden Hour 15 TAYLOR SWIFT Anti-Hero 16 SHINEDOWN A Symptom Of Being Human 17 GUSTER Emily Ivory 18 LEWIS CAPALDI Forget Me 19 PALAYE ROYALE f/ LP Line It Up 20 CARLY RAE JEPSEN Beach House 21 KEITH URBAN Brown Eyes Baby 22 PANIC! AT THE DISCO Don't Let The Light Go Out 23 GHOST Spillways 24 KELLY CLARKSON Mine 25 DOLLY PARTON World On Fire 26 LUKE COMBS The Kind Of Love We Make 27 KATE BUSH Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) 28 ELTON JOHN & BRITNEY SPEARS Hold Me Closer 29 ED SHEERAN Eyes Closed 30 SZA Kill Bill 31 LIZZO f/ SZA Special 32 WE ARE SCIENTISTS Handshake Agreement 33 JESSIE WARE Free Yourself 34 MAMMOTH WVH Epiphany 35 SON MIEUX Multicolor 36 WE ARE SCIENTISTS Turn It Up 37 DOJA CAT Vegas 38 DNCE Move 39 BEYONCE Summer Renaissance 40 IMAGINE DRAGONS Bones 41 FALL OUT BOY Love From The Other Side 42 BEYONCE Break My Soul 43 LIVE Operation Spirit 44 MANESKIN Gossip 45 BEYONCE Cuff It 46 RUFUS DU SOL On My Knees 47 TEGAN & SARA Smoking Weed Alone 48 ARCADE FIRE Unconditional (Lookout Kid) 49 COIN Brad Pitt 50 CARLY RAE JEPSEN Talking To Yourself

Top Music Party Artists 1983-2023

pos/# of songs/Points 1. 27 1421.4 MADONNA 2. 25 1342.4 U2 3. 26 1292.5 PINK 4. 16 958.5 LADY GAGA 5. 19 830 KELLY CLARKSON 6. 19 818.9 BRUNO MARS 7. 14 738.2 DUA LIPA 8. 13 716.9 ELTON JOHN 9. 11 690.4 ADELE 10. 13 619.8 R.E.M./MICHAEL STIPE 11. 18 617.6 EURYTHMICS/ANNIE LENNOX 12. 11 576.6 INXS 13. 12 546.4 MATCHBOX 20/ROB THOMAS 14. 10 544 JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE/N-SYNC 15. 8 542.5 ED SHEERAN 16. 11 540.6 CHRISTINA AGUILERA 17. 12 525.2 KYLIE MINOGUE 18. 8 524.3 ALANIS MORRISSETTE 19. 15 523.9 BEYONCE/DESTINY'S CHILD 20. 13 522.9 BRITNEY SPEARS 21. 9 502.4 HARRY STYLES/ONE DIRECTION 22. 10 492.4 THE KILLERS 23. 11 474.5 MAROON 5/ADAM LEVINE 24. 9 459.9 CELINE DION 25. 10 454.2 BACKSTREET BOYS 26. 11 451.2 GEORGE MICHAEL 27. 9 439.8 BLACK EYED PEAS/FERGIE 28. 9 422.4 IMAGINE DRAGONS 29. 10 419.1 SHINEDOWN 30. 11 415.9 FOO FIGHTERS 31. 8 413.3 SAM SMITH 32. 9 411.2 ARIANA GRANDE 33. 8 407.7 KEANE 34. 11 404.8 RIHANNA 35. 11 398.3 JANET JACKSON 36. 9 375.2 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN 37. 9 368.3 PRINCE 38. 9 361.7 TAYLOR SWIFT 39. 10 361.6 MARIAH CAREY 40. 6 358 LINKIN PARK 41. 10 356.7 KATY PERRY 42. 9 353.5 STING/THE POLICE 43. 8 352 COLDPLAY 44. 8 350.9 THE WEEKND 45. 7 345.8 DAVID BOWIE 46. 6 344.4 LIZZO 47. 8 342.6 JONAS BROTHERS/DNCE/NICK JONAS 48. 5 336.3 MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE 49. 7 336.2 RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS 50. 5 330.3 TRAIN

Check out this episode!

[leam1983]

Stereotypes

Walt's gay, Sarah's straight and I'm bi. You'd think we'd get less clichés thrown our way as a result, but his being a sartorialist and a fair bit of an aesthete meshes a bit too well with my studies. Sarah's far more practical, visuals-wise, but she's also a fair bit of a theorist, thanks to her own research and her History degree. As for me, well, I'm a failed Lit Geek who got weaned on Peter Gabriel's RealWorld label, so Ye Olde Discman CD Pile used to be stuffed to the gills with bands that weren't exactly mainstream.

So, fast-forward to yesterday night, our Gay friends stop over for a quick digestif before tucking in for the night, and we're all lounging around in living room, with Jan Garbarek's Rites playing on the speakers. Again, consider that said Gay friends are maybe slightly older than I am, but that they've more or less been living and breathing certain US Pop acts for the past several years. You know the ones: Meghan Trainor, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry et al. If they were closer to Walt's demographic, they'd probably skew closer to Annie Lennox or Bonnie Tyler. Long story short, Garbarek's Rites is not their usual fare.

Ask most Gays in the Quarter to think of Soft Jazz, and most of them think about Kenny G, not anything that's even remotely close to ECM as a label. Most people I know think about Softcore when they imagine Alto saxophone soundtracks, and Garbarek more or less flies in the face of that assertion, all the while saying "Sucks to be you, I'm off to wrench the heartstrings of better-prepared listeners by pairing the dulcet tones of my instrument with a Georgian national orchestra and a celebrated poet from Tbilissi or a British Gregorian choir!"

Another tidbit that's needed for comprehension is the fact that we have a few highbrow radio emcees, locally - including one that's known for displays of emphatic bewilderment whenever she has someone on who hasn't heard of some obscure band from some verdant European crevice with a single CD under their belt who'd probably burst into flames if they ever made it to Billboard's charts. Full-on Hipster Mode, simply put. La totale, as we say in French.

Take all that, and imagine Sarah, Walt and myself demanding three and a half minutes of near-religious silence while we close our eyes and barely repress our tears at Galaktion Tabidze's reading of his own poem, The Moon Over Mtatsminda, while some poor hapless couple is stuck wondering where the fun stuff is in our playlists. Keep in mind, none of us here speak Georgian, the reading of that poem over Garbarek's arrangement is just so fucking excellent that it transcends linguistic barriers and rips tears out of you defacto.

Cue their mentioning that, and Walt breaking the emotional tension with half a guffaw and half a scoff. "You guys haven't heard of Georgia's own Gilles Vigneault?! My God, where the fuck have you been for the past twenty years?!"

I had to fight not to laugh; Peter's buck probably starts and stops at Rufus Wainwright, when it comes to Canadian auteurs... No disrespect to Wainwright, Walt and I just tend to think he's still at the stage where he exists as a more digestible, younger and less humble take on Leonard Cohen.

Yes, we're pretentious assholes on occasion. Do we care? Not one bit.

[mag200]

like it is truly so crazy to me that jenny was so universally hated that she got completely shafted from the main storyline when she's so compelling. here's an insanely ambitious and driven 14/15yo creative genius who works her ass off to achieve her goals while she's surrounded by the most privileged spoiled rich kids imaginable. no one else around her has goals like this they never have to work for anything and they're bored to death all they can think to do is drink expensive alcohol and be mean to each other meanwhile she homeschools herself while working her way up at a prestige fashion company, leaves that company when they try to take advantage of her and steal her designs, and sets out on her own, wooing manhattan's elite into financially backing her for dresses she sewed together herself that morning in her apartment. every "bad" thing she does pales in comparison to the rich kids around her but they all get away with it while she gets punished both within the story itself and within the overarching narrative assassinating her whole character. she's a rare combination of crazy talented and crazy driven but god forbid she's played by an actual teenager and we have to see her be a little awkward sometimes so i guess everyone has to hate her. meanwhile taylor momsen was genuinely acting circles around whoever played rufus lol.

og gossip girl suffers so much from making jenny humphrey by far one of the most compelling characters and then discarding her. like sorry fans didnt like her at the time but everything she has going on is way more interesting than anything chuck blair and serena have ever done. in a better world i wouldve loved to see her fashion line take off after she did that guerilla fashion show. or better yet plan from the beginning and have her revealed to be gossip girl herself.

[bluesfortheredj]

Midnight snack.

A/N: Smut ahead.

Your eyes wander from the television screen to the small furry face looking up at you from the dog bed, and you roll your eyes with a tut.

“Well I don’t know where he is!” you sigh, “it’s no good looking at me for answers. Have a nap and hopefully he’ll be back by the time you wake up.”

You’re met with a look of disdain that you didn’t think possible from a dog, and he shuffles around in a circle before flopping down with an audible huff before closing his eyes to get a break from your nonsense.

“Fine, be like that… but don’t forget who gave you extra chicken from their own dinner earlier,” you turn back to the telly and cover your face with your hands with a laugh, “why am I talking to the dog like he understands me?!”

This had been your routine for the last few weeks now while Rufus was away touring; get up, walk the dog, go to work, come home, walk the dog again, dinner, then talking to yourself for a couple of hours before heading to bed alone and getting a rushed text or call from your other half before you fell asleep.

He was finally coming home tonight though, and you were trying your best to stay up for the big return but the way your eyelids were fluttering shut after a busy week at work was not a good sign at all. You couldn’t lie, it wasn’t the easiest life to live being with someone whose work schedule was as erratic as his was, but those sweet moments when you were reunited made the months of being apart absolutely worth it. It was just the time in between, when you had the typical looks of pity from friends and family when you turned up at a gathering alone again, that the loneliness managed to creep in.

“Argh!” you yelp, almost falling off the edge of the sofa after drifting off during the film you’d put on, “oh shit.”

Your heart is racing as you sit up and fumble around for your phone to check the time, and when you see it’s past one in the morning you decide to finally give up and head to bed instead of attempting to force yourself to stay awake. The curled up bundle of fur on the plush cushion by the side of the TV cabinet signifies you weren’t the only one who couldn’t stay up for the long awaited return either, and you tiptoe past him to the bedroom, gently turning off the light as you go.

“Night little one,” you whisper.

It doesn’t take you long to give your teeth a quick brush then throw on an old t-shirt, and you’re within the cosy confines of the bed within a matter of minutes, snuggling under the duvet with a satisfied sigh after switching the bedside lamp off. Within a few minutes you’ve returned to the deep sleep you’d fallen in to on the sofa, and it’s another two hours before you’re awoken by an arm snaking around your waist and a pair of lips tenderly pressing against your cheek.

“Hmm?” you mumble as you try and figure out if you’re dreaming or not.

“It’s me,” Rufus whispers through the dark.

“The man of my dreams?”

“Yep.”

“Jason Momoa?!” you gasp.

You look to the side and can just about make out Ru’s unimpressed expression in the moonlight that seeps through the partially shut blinds and he tuts, “hilarious,” he states flatly, “I’m so sorry to disappoint but it’s the second choice�� y’know, the one with blonde hair who plays the drums?”

“Oh right, R-”

“Don’t even think about saying Roger,” he warns.

You laugh aloud before rolling onto your back so you can see him properly, then you place your hands on his cheeks and take in the sight of his handsome face properly, “I wouldn’t dream of it,” you smile softly.

He leans over to your side of the bed and clicks the lamp on then you both stare in wonder at one another for a while, the soppy grins on your faces making you both giggle like giddy teenagers. You needed this time to take in each other’s appearance in person after such a long time apart; you’d seen each other through screens of course, but nothing could come close to the sheer joy of being together again in person, and it was your moment to notice all the subtle little changes in the other.

“You look tired,” you sigh gently, sweeping your thumbs beneath the dark shadows of his eyes.

“I’m fucking shattered,” he laughs, “but I’m finally home and I couldn’t be happier.”

You bring his face down to yours until your lips meet in a long awaited kiss then he moves over so that his body is hovering above yours, and your arms wrap around his torso, needing to feel the familiar comfort of his body weight that you’d missed so dearly over the last few weeks. Hands wander, the covers are displaced as your bodies wriggle around underneath them to switch positions every now and again, and short pants are the only noise when your lips reluctantly part for breath.

“Don’t you want to sleep?” you question as he lifts the hem of your top and pulls it up over your head.

He shakes his head from side to side, “nah, not yet… do you?”

His lips trail open mouthed kisses from your neck to your chest and you melt beneath his touch, “nope, not now I don’t.”

His tongue laps at your skin to remember the taste of home which consisted mainly of a sweet cocoa thanks to your body lotion, and he works his way further down your body until you’re able to slip your hand underneath his chin and lift his head to look at you.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his face now full of concern at you interrupting him.

“More than okay,” you reassure, “I think you should make your way back up here though.”

He moves back up your body leaving quick pecks as he does, then you carefully guide him onto his back and watch as his golden hair falls onto the pillow to reveal his beautiful face in all its glory. You give him a heartfelt kiss before mirroring the actions he took with you until you reach his boxers, and with one swift movement you hook him out of the underwear and place your lips on the tip of his hardening length.

“Oh, woah woah,” he groans, his entire body on fire thanks to the lack of intimate touch from you recently.

He briefly lifts his head to look down as your mouth moves lower, but he soon falls back onto the pillow with a loud moan of your name as you begin to bob your head up and down along his shaft, hollowing out your cheeks with each enthusiastic suck. It didn’t matter that it was almost four in the morning, he deserved the attention after such a long time away, and you were definitely more awake now thanks to him.

“I’ve been dreaming about this,” he exhales with stuttered breaths.

You hum in agreement with him and it jolts his overly sensitive body, bucking his hips into you and causing you to gag a little. He looks down apologetically but you simply give him a wink to let him know you were okay, and when you hear his pants increase in frequency you know he’s already close to letting go. You couldn’t blame him, you were feeling as though you could quite easily orgasm even though there was nothing directly stimulating you, and when he eventually spills across your tongue you find yourself moaning along with him at the sensation of it all.

“How are you feeling?” you sigh as you crawl back up to the pillow and flop down on it.

He stares at the ceiling in an elated stupor for a moment before smiling to himself and blowing a puff of air from his lips, “better than ever.”

You settle back into covers as you had done before he got here while he briefly leaves to clean up, but when he returns he’s quick to press his body against your back and wrap his arms around your frame, and you let out a contented sigh as you place your hand on his.

“So did you miss me?” he enquires softly, squeezing you to him.

“Not as much as that little furry fella out there, and I guarantee that you missed him more than you missed me,” you chuckle.

There’s a momentary pause as Rufus stares at the back of your head with a frown then he shakes his head, “he’s cute, but not as cute as you are.”

You wriggle around in his embrace until you’re facing him, “you’re only saying that because of what just happened,” you tease.

His lips turn up into that roguish smile that makes your heart race, “what just happened is simply a bonus to loving you,” he runs his fingers through your hair tenderly, “wow, it really is good to be home.”

Request: Maybe one where Rufus comes Home late from tour and reader is sleeping In bed but wakes up when cuddle her + more

[leah-halliwell92]

Too Much Love Can Kill You

Prologue – Chapter 1– Chapter 2 – Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 – Chapter 5 –Chapter 6 – Chapter 7 – Chapter 8 – Chapter 9 – Chapter 10 – Chapter 11 – Chapter 12 – Chapter 13 – Chapter 14 – Chapter 15 – Chapter 16 – Chapter 17 – Chapter 18 – Chapter 19 – Chapter 20 – Chapter 21 – Chapter 22

Previously:

He was about to blow up on you when you heard your mother’s voice behind you, “Sorry I’m late had to check on some things before coming over.”

You saw Old Jacob blanche at seeing her and barely recovered as he stood to help her into a chair.

You fought a grin as Adam sat beside you looking like the cat that caught the canary.

Things were going to get good…

(Second to last chapter everyone! Thanks for bearing with me so far and for reading! When this particular story is completed it will most likely be taken down for “maintenance” and a thorough editing sesh.)

0/0/0/0/0/0/0

Chapter 23

(Y/L/N = Your last name, M/N = Mother’s name, Jacob = Jacob Sr., Jake = Jacob Jr.)

Jake’s face went green, from what you didn’t know, “Hi Mrs. (Y/L/N).”

“(M/N),” Jacob greeted tensely, “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

Your mother gave the older man a quaint grin, “I had tickets to see Queen on hand. It’s not everyday a proud mother goes to a concert to see their child front and center.”

Father and son looked at your mother each with different emotions on their faces while your mother kept her quaint grin.

“You can’t really mean that (Y/M/N),” Jacob said, a cocky slimy grin on his face, “You’d let her galavant across the country–”

“World,” Adam coughed.

“World, with an all male group,” Jacob said gritting his teeth. 

“She couldn’t be in safer hands with them Jacob,” your mother said neutrally. 

“Yes because having a young woman with a horde of men is “safe”,” he said derogatorily, “She can’t know what the world is like.” 

“She's not stupid or naive,” Roger said voice hard and glare icy, “She’s an intelligent woman that knows her limits.”

Jacob laughed and said, “She’s a child. Clearly is when she’s still deluding herself to the idea that this musician dream of hers will come true.”

Before anyone could say anything, a a red faced teenager walked up to your table giggling nervously as she approached. 

You look behind her to find an equally giggling group of girls a table away. 

“Probably for you Adam,” you said with a fond grin.

You weren’t bothered by it for a second, you knew Adam had fans and knew that Roger did as well. You weren’t as well known for your stuff yet but had hope that with hard work you’d fly.

To all of your surprise though she walked up to you.

“Hi,” she said clearly a bit overwhelmed but no less excited, “You’re (Y/N) right?”

“Hi sweetheart,” you said with a grin and nodded at her question.

“Is it ok if I got your autograph?” she asked nervously her copy of ‘Parental Guide’ shaking in her grip.

Your chest could have burst at this and it showed as you smiled at her widely and stood from your seat. 

“Sure thing!” You said taking the copy from her gently. 

You signed it happily and even went as far as to asking your mother to take a picture of the two of you.

“My friends said it couldn’t have been you,” she said her smile so wide you thought it would split her face in two.

“What do you say we go by after I'm done with my meeting?” You asked kindly, “I’m pretty sure my friends won’t mind won’t we boys?”

Adam, Roger and Rufus all cheered and nodded smiles on their faces.

The girl blushed and giggled as she went back to her table to spread the word.

Your mother’s eyes shined in pride whilst Jacob and son looked on mouthes wide open as they witnessed you being asked for an autograph. 

“You were saying?” Adam asked a satisfied look on his face.

“She’s a woman–” 

“So what?” Roger asked incredulously, “She is that, but that does not mean that she should be restricted to what a man wants her to do.”

Adam coughed something that sounded oddly like “Chad” almost making you choke on your drink.

“The fact of the matter here is that whatever agreement you made with my husband is null and void,” your mother said with an air of finality in her voice, “And since there is nothing written on paper, there is no legal proof mandating that (Y/N) needs to abide by anything concerning you or young Jacob.”

The men looked like tomatoes from how red in the face they were.

You stood from seat signaling the others in your party to do the same and said, “I’ll speak with my lawyers about paying you back the money my schooling cost anything other than that you’ll have to talk to my father about it.”

“We’ve warm rehearsal later,” Roger reminded gently, “Last concert and all.”

You gave the father and son a nod before going to the table where the group of girls are sitting. And as promised autographs and photos were taken and given before heading out.

If you wanna be tagged shoot me an ask!!! Thanks for reading don’t forget to like and reblog!!!! Feedback is always appreciated!!

Tag List: @pansexualqueendarling, @queenattheopera, @brianandthemays, @theborhapboysawakenedmywhatever, @ramibaby, @captain--americanna, @awkwardangelshezza, @avengerraven1023, @danadeacon, @pastywhiteperson, @i-was-born-like-this, @redspecialstardust, @reedusteinrambles, @readinghorn, @ssharkbabe, @capan-devereaux, @bowieandqueen11, @bellamy1998, @simply-sams-things, @plutoneu, @bleu-jean-baby, @brian-mayonnaise, @0hour9am, @toomuchtellyneck, @kimanne723, @kyleetheeditor, @glamrockmonarch, @rawyld, @queensdivas, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives, @phoenixqueen07, @ohmybribri, @jennyggggrrr, @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels, @painkiller80, @whiskeyandroses31 , @hodgepodge-of-rog, @briyourmotherdown, @yourlocalmusicalprostitute​ , @anaeve​, @foxinaforestofstars​, @anne-white-star​

[bridgertonsiconss]

💋 Gossip Girl 💋

🎬 1x01 🎬

[lets-seewherethistakesus]

@siriuslymooned Bee definitely got Brian his selfie stick and she’s waiting on Luke and Rufus for lunch

[rachelsophielesch]

You Rise With The Moon, I Rise With The Sun: A Zutara playlist

1. Like Real People Do- Hozier

2. Something There- from “Beauty and the Beast”

3. Girlfriend- Avril Lavigne

4. Fixer Upper- from “Frozen”

5. Can You Feel The Love Tonight?- from “The Lion King”

6. Secret Tunnel- from “The Cave of the Two Lovers.”

7. I Found- Amber Run

8. I Need My Girl- The National

9. O Valencia- The Decembrists

10. Break Up With Your Girlfriend- Ariana Grande

11. Iris- The Goo Goo Dolls

12. Demons- Imagine Dragons

13. Good Little Girl- from “Adventure Time”

14. Halo- Beyoncé

15. Hallelujah- Rufus Wainwright

16. Samson- Regina Spector

17. Somewhere Only We Know- Keane

18. Gorgeous- Taylor Swift

19. Set Fire to the Rain- Adele

20. Youngblood- 5 Seconds of Summer

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | chapter twelve

Chapter Twelve

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: spencers mom has a bad day at the doctor's and so spencer thinks he's going to have a bad day too but he ends up having the best day of his entire life.

talk of pregnancy, celebratory sex, oral (female receiving), grinding, no penetration, serious deep talks after sex about their most depressive episodes, sharing trauma and making sure they know the other is loved regardless of what goes on in their mind. it's a rough one so read with caution

word count: 4.5K

from the beginning <3

He was up before Amoreena, awaking for the second time that morning to the sound of his alarm, kissing Y/N on the forehead before leaving their bed, she simply laid there and watched him get ready.

Most of his clothes were here now, every time he was near his apartment he brought more and more things home with him. Because that wasn’t his home, it hadn’t been for a long time, even when he lived there it was just a trove of books and a bed he slept on occasionally.

They were probably going to move all his stuff over in the summer, after the second wedding… after the girls meet Taylor, and hopefully when Y/N’s actually pregnant and not too sick or tired to help.

“Come here,” she whispers before he can slip out of the room, “kiss your wife.”

He can’t help but smile as he bounds towards the bed, jumping in and wrapping her up in his arms. He smothers her face in kisses, making her laugh, still half asleep as she let him manhandle her.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“We love you too,” she replied with a smile, answering for Amoreena even though she was still asleep down the hall, “don’t wake her up yet, she needs all her rest for today.”

“I’ll be quiet,” he responds with a smile, kissing her again before he finally gets out of the bed, if not he would have stayed there forever.

He tiptoes down the hall and into Amoreena’s room, kissing her sweet little forehead lightly before exiting just as quietly. It was like he was never there.

He snuck down the stairs quietly, locked the door behind himself on the way out, and took off down the driveway in his old blue Volvo amazon, paying extra attention to the path for any kitties or Rufus out on their morning strolls.

It didn’t take long for a happy day to go sour when he was in a doctor's office with his mom. Those were the worst places he could go with her, especially on a bad day. Her mind was playing tricks on her, she really didn’t like hospitals or government buildings, even lawyers' offices stressed her out.

Today she was convinced he wasn’t really her son, Spencer, and that he was actually leading her to be a government experiment. It was hard to see her struggle, especially on a day they needed to ask her serious questions while she sat still. It was the fact she had to stay awake for 24 hours that triggered the episode, the EEG requiring her mind to be deprived of sleep. It was rough, she barely knew him. They wouldn’t have the test results for a while but he already knew it wasn’t good.

He dropped her back off at the home as quickly as he could, not able to deal with the verbal abuse any longer, he didn’t even say goodbye. The woman he dropped off was his mother on the outside but not on the inside today. It was really hard to look at her and know her, but not see that same look in her eyes.

By the time he’s returning to the farm, it’s 11:45 and he’s exhausted.

He finds Y/N in the bedroom, lying in bed in just a t-shirt and her underwear, completely sound asleep with the blankets thrown off the bed. She looks so beautiful, he slips out of his clothes to match her, sliding into bed beside her and just looking at her perfect face.

He presses a kiss to her shoulder that startles her awake, “oh god, Spencer!” she places her hand on her heart as she calms down.

“Sorry,” he smiles, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in closer.

“How’s your mom?” Her tired words meet his ears and his smile dies.

“Not great, really don’t want to talk about it yet,” he was honest with her, snuggling in closer as she hummed in agreement to drop it. “How was Amoreena’s morning?”

“I told Amoreena I wouldn’t tell you, but I don’t need to you to freak out in front of all the kids or cry or pass out in front of all them, but there’s a positive pregnancy test on her all about me project,” she explains it like she’s about to say it’s just Amoreena’s from 8 years ago…

He pulls back slowly, looking into her eyes as she smiles wider and wider, “you’re pregnant?”

She nods her head as her smile gets bigger and toothier, she’s wrapping her arms around him so tight it’s like he can’t breathe for multiple reasons.

“We did it, Spencer, I made you a daddy again,” the words carry from her mouth in a beautiful tune.

He’s holding her back so gently, afraid to squeeze too hard and hurt her and the tiny little life that’s starting inside her. He’s silent, overjoyed but absolutely dumbstruck at the fact it’s real. A month ago he thought about walking into traffic after work and just seeing what happened, now he was a father of 2 with a wife and a happy farm and a life that was good.

A life he deserved.

All thanks to a beautiful little girl with an interest in dinosaurs and making new friends. Amoreena was an angel sent from heaven, improving both of their lives greatly, and now they were making another.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, oh my god yes, I’m just,” he didn’t know what words to say and it was evident. “Amoreena knows?”

She nodded softly, “she now knows girl parts make eggs, boy parts make sperm, and that adults have sex but you can only make a baby at 25, she really didn’t seem to be all that interested in the science, but she’s excited to be a big sister.”

“Wow,” it all caught up to him then, he placed his hand on her stomach softly, “hi little one.”

Y/N laid back against the bed, pulling her shirt up so he could see the barely-there bump, “It’s mostly leftover’s from Amoreena, but yeah, there’s another one in there.”

He couldn’t help himself from running his hands over the curve of her stomach, thinking about Amoreena being in there once upon a time and how tiny she must have been. It was even weirder to think that a part of her was once even in him.

“It’s strange to think that I jerked off into a cup and you made the most perfect kid on earth with it… it just feels like it doesn’t add up. She’s so perfect I can’t believe she was once a part of us both,” he can’t help but let his inner monologue seep out, she didn’t mind it, she loved hearing how his mind worked.

“I can’t wait to see you holding this little one,” her hands joined his on her stomach, the shape of her forefingers and thumbs making a heart over her bare belly.

Spencer leaned in and kissed right in the middle, beside her belly button, in love with whoever was in there already.

“Amoreena had a dream last night too,” Y/N cuts into his little moment, “guess how many sisters she said she had.”

“8?” Spencer can’t help but smile.

She nods, “I don’t know what it is about this house but the good dreams always come true, who knows how many babies are in there right now.”

“I hope just one for now,” he says in all honesty, “I really want time with just one little one, you and Amoreena. A family of four for a bit and then the twins, that’s how it was in the dream.”

“Did they have names?”

“You called them Elly, Junie, tho and Cordelia, and you said there were 3 sets of twins, two after Cordelia,” he remembers it all as if he was really there, whispering all the words against her stomach, his cheek resting on the band of her underwear as he laid between her legs with his arms around her.

“Amoreena, Elizabeth, Juniper, Theodora, and Cordelia were all the options I was choosing from last time,” she says with the widest smile, “how the heck did your mind know that?”

“It felt very real, which is why I was so worried about where I was, I don’t know how I could have missed anything but now I know that part was just my anxiety,” Spencer rationalized it. “Amoreena probably had the better version of that future in her dream last night.”

“I was having a great dream before you came back,” she teases him, running her fingers through his hair as he continues to kiss her stomach.

He loops his fingers around the band of her underwear, sliding it down just low enough to really kiss where that baby of his is hiding out. She lifts her hips into the contact, letting him slip them down her legs and completely off, she spreads her legs even more.

He takes his time pressing a kiss to every single inch of her, her skin is soft, her leg hair is prickly on his hands and his cheeks but it’s nice, he rubs his face against her like a cat marking his territory as she continued to scratch his scalp.

He spread her open with two fingers, he presses a soft kiss to her clitoris and all the way down to her opening before licking a wet stripe up the sensitive skin. The moan she releases is the loudest one he’s heard on her yet, it was really the first time he’s been allowed to really enjoy her.

“It’s important for your partner to help with the stretching in the third trimester,” she teases him, “but they don’t mention anything about starting too early being a bad thing.”

“I don’t want to disrupt anything in there,” he worries aloud, letting her decide if it’s okay.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she laughed, “I don’t think you’d reach them, but if you’re really worried there are other ways to help.”

“Such as,” he asks, lowering his face back down to her wet heat, continuing to explore her with his tongue as he expects her to talk.

“You, um you can, shit, wow,” she props herself up on her elbows to get a better look at what he’s doing as she stalls for a few minutes, “just rub yourself over me, Spencer please, I want more of you.”

She grips him by his cheeks and pulls him up into a kiss, both of them rushing to push his boxers down and off his legs, she spreads her own once more so he can press against her.

His hard cock resting flat against her, rubbing back and forth as he spreads her wetness around with him. The head gliding over her clit just the right way as she held him close to her body, kissing down his neck and sucking marks all over his chest.

She was desperate for him and who was he to deprive her, so he rocked into her more, grinding down harder against her body and making her shaking lightly. It felt better, more intimate, more euphoric than any other sex he’s had, just being close to her had him on the edge faster than he expected to get there.

She’s chanting his name then, head tossed back against the pillow as she digs her fingers into his asscheeks, holding him so close to him he can feel her orgasm rush through her. She stills, bucking up into him one last time as he finishes all across her stomach.

His hands are curled around her cheeks then, holding her perfect face in his hands as he hovers over her, using everything in his power to not crush her or the baby. He’s trying so hard to steady his breathing, so is she, they just smile at each other, laughing lightly at how in love they are.

“I love you,” he says on impulse, “you’re so good to me.”

“Look at all the good you’ve given me,” she whispers, “it would be wrong for me not to love you for everything you’ve done for me, whether you were aware of it or not.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not going to tell you about my depression while your cum dries between us like glue,” she laughed at how crude it sounded.

He laughs lightly too, rolling off her to see just how much of a mess they made. “Tell me in the shower?”

“Seems appropriate,” she agreed, taking his hand and following him into the bathroom.

He loved the old feel of her bathroom, the green linoleum and floral wallpaper, the pink towels and bright orange shower curtain, it was happy and bright and the perfect place to laugh for half an hour as they washed each other.

She has him pressed against the shower wall then, water trickling over them gently as she stares into his eyes, “I don’t know how to say it without it coming out really scary,” she finally resumes the conversation they were about to have in the bedroom.

“I’ve probably been in the same mental state, I’m not going to judge your method of choice,” he explains it in a way that she’ll know he really, really gets it.

“I had a few suicidal thoughts when my grandma went to chemo before I chose your sample and before I did all the hormones, I was thinking why should I stay and bring another life into my misery when I could just die first and not have to see her go through that anymore,” she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth as she stops, letting him digest all the words.

“Did you try anything?” He’s not sure why he’s asking.

She shakes her head, the best no he’s ever seen in his life. “My grandma noticed on my birthday when I wasn't coming down for breakfast like normal, I was really depressed and so we went out and talked and had lunch together for the first time in forever cause she wasn't feeling sick, I’ll never forget it. It was the best and worst birthday of my life.”

“I’m the worst husband ever,” he says, taking her by surprise, “I don’t even know your birthday.”

It makes her laugh, taking her out of the sadness as she realizes he really doesn’t judge her, he gets it completely. “January 16th, 1986, three minutes after Evan,” she manages to say it with a smile.

“That’s the date Maeve died,” both of them stare at each other in shock, wondering just how many other coincidences they had out there to figure out.

“How many days after did you donate?”

“On the 19th,” he confirmed without taking a breath, “holy shit.”

“We both were suicidal on the same day,” she covers her mouth with a wet slap, laughing at the worst thing she’s ever said, it’s the shock and the emotions of everything catching up to her right then and there.

“Oh my god,” he laughs in response, both of them laughing as they hugged in the corner of her green shower. “we are fucked up.”

“Soulmate things,” she shrugged, holding him even tighter.

He wished she could see his face then, the looking that overcame him as he heard the word soulmates. She just called him her soulmate. He licks his lips, taking it all in and almost hyperventilating, she can feel the way his breathing changes as she looks up with concern.

“What?”

He shakes the thoughts out, swallowing sharply as he makes eye contact with her, “nothing.”

“No, I know that look Spencer, what did your brain say to you this time? I will go in there and kick its ass,” she pokes his forehead then, threatening his anxiety to fuck off.

“I never thought I’d get to hear someone say that to me, it’s stupid,” he felt too vulnerable suddenly, sky and closed off.

“Who hurt you?” She asks in complete curiosity, wanting to know why he can’t imagine someone loving him.

“My parents,” it slips out before he can catch it, “I love my mom. I always have to preface that, she did what she could but it was nowhere near enough. I don’t hold anything against her, I just hate that that’s how it was, that she had bad days at all because they always shine brighter in my memory than the good days.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you,” she worries this time, seeing the hurt on his face and feeling like she fucked up, he can read her micro-expressions easier than anyone else.

“I would have told you soon enough, my dad left because of my mom's illness and he made sure I knew he didn’t want me. I don’t care that he kept up with me on the internet, the fact he didn’t even care to let me know he lived 10 miles from me my whole life makes me feel sick. I was 14 point 6 miles away from Amoreena this whole time and I would give all my fucking organs to go back in time and be with her from day 1, I don’t get how he could just not love me?” The rant comes out of his mouth for the first time ever, the same thoughts that have been there building for 40 years bursting at the seam.

She reaches behind them to turn off the water then, stepping away from him while he cools down a bit, “Yeah, no I get it, I hate him too now. That's so fucked up, honey, I'm so sorry.”

It makes him huff out a laugh, “I’m sorry, you’re not my therapist you don’t have to deal with all that.”

“I’m your wife, I deal with that regardless. In sickness and in health remember?” She reminds him, “depression is just as real of an illness as cancer. I don’t want you to keep these thoughts from me. I want to know about every paper cut, every splinter, every bad thought that crosses that beautiful mind because I love you.”

“As long as you always remember that too,” he makes sure that she knows he feels the same. “Don’t keep anything from me thinking it’ll ruin the happy atmosphere of this kingdom, Amoreena would tell you that a castle is only as strong as its weakest brick. If you crack we all tumble.”

“My foundations are strong, if not Derek’s a renovator right?” She raised her eyebrows, making another joke. They were always going to be okay.

“Speaking of, how are we going to house all 12 of these children you plan on having?”

"We, smartie pants, we are having," she tosses the shower curtain out of the way then, stepping out and wrapping herself in a towel, “I was thinking we add a few more rooms, nanny and pop were always adding on to this place, it would be nice to fix it up a bit.”

“I can see if Derek wants to help, or we can find a contractor?”

“Well, Alli still has another 8 weeks till her baby comes, so you might as well do something with Derek here in that time,” she agrees with a smile, “my nanny left everything to me, so I have a decent amount saved still for whatever you guys think the house can handle, I just want it done safely, and it has to match.”

She was bossy, he loved every second of it. “Yes ma’am,” he smiles as he steps out, drying off beside her.

Y/N couldn’t stop smiling at him as she watched him fluff his curly wet hair in the mirror, “how would you like to go out and get our first kid a big sister present before the graduation?”

“We never had a chance to read on Saturday, would you want to get her a big sister book and read at the tree?” Spencer suggests, making eye contact with her reflection in the mirror, even backwards she’s beautiful.

She nods with a smile, “sounds great, daddy.”

He wraps his arms around her before she can leave the room, kissing her neck and shoulder as she squirms, trying to get away from him but failing on purpose. “Spencer, seriously we have to go.”

“Then don’t call me daddy,” he whispers in her ear, and he can physically feel the way it excites her.

“We will revisit this later,” she says with a stern look as she pulls away finally, dropping the towel on purpose as she walks towards her new closet.

She was going to be the death of him, and hopefully, that wasn’t for a long time. Hopefully, he thought right then and there, that the moment he finally does die, he dies is beside her. Happily in his sleep, as they’re in their 90’s, and in a perfect world she’d slip away with him.

“Can I ask a dumb question?” He rushes the words out, taking her up on that offer of hearing all the bad thoughts.

“Always,” she smiles.

“When we get to heaven, stay with me? Pick me instead of Stephen for the forever part?” He’s not sure why he’s crying, or why he’s thinking about it. But it’s where his mind went and she said she’d always follow.

She tilts her head to the side, dropping her shoulders as she sighs, “we can set Stephen and Maeve up with each other.”

It makes him smile, she always knew what to say. “Who knows, they could be the reason all this happened.”

She nods then, “I like the thought of that, they deserve to be happy together, I’m sure they would like each other.”

He really believed they were soulmates then, that something bigger set up all these dominoes and he was so excited to watch them fall. To see where they landed, the beautiful pattern that they would reveal. The wonderful world he was creating with her was always going to be amazing because something greater than them said so.

—

She looked more beautiful than he’s ever seen her as they rolled up to the school. She was physically glowing, her hair was perfect, her dress laid over her stomach in the right way that he could see proof she was with child, even if she called it leftovers from the last one. It was his favourite part of her, it was where she made the best person they knew.

They walked around to the back gate, hand in hand, smiling wide as they walked into the little classroom. There were balloons and streamers everywhere, they had little cupcakes all set up and all of them were in matching blue caps and gowns.

Amoreena waved at them when she saw them, not allowed to leave her seat from where they were practicing their ceremony. It was unbelievably adorable, Spencer couldn’t help but be that Dad who took a million photos on his cellphone. He was never going to miss another moment.

JJ wrapped her arm around him sneakily, startling him as she hugged him, “hello Spencer Reid, father and husband,” she teased him. “Still weird thinking of you as a dad.”

He wanted to tell her, but she’d know soon anyway once she saw the all about me project, “shit,” Y/N says from behind him as she realizes too. “Tell her.”

“We’re having another one,” Spencer whispers in JJ’s ear before she can even react.

She smacks his side as she pulls back, staring at him with her mouth wide open. The same face Henry made when he saw Y/N for the first time, completely shocked and nervous, “oh my god?”

He nodded, “we’re not telling anyone, I was supposed to find out on her all about me project but she didn’t want me to pass out in front of all the kids.”

It made JJ laugh, shrugging as she agreed with the idea, she pulled away from him and wrapped Y/N up in her arms, hugging her ever so softly. Y/N closed her eyes and pressed their cheeks together as she accepted the thank you, knowing JJ was just happy to see Spencer succeed.

She placed a hand on Y/N’s tummy before pulling away fully, “I always hoped I’d see the day where Spencer made a little genius, I still can’t believe Amoreena is his sometimes, that hasn’t really hit me yet, but this… this is real. I’m so happy for you.”

Y/N cried a little, wiping her eyes as she laughed it off, “okay, sorry this is a big day for me, my first baby is graduating, this baby is trying to grow a heartbeat, it’s all a lot.”

“I get it, believe me,” JJ agreed, placing her hand on Y/N’s lover back and holding her close to her side. Bonding in that moment, making Spencer’s heart swell.

“Where’s the cowboy?” She changed the subject, looking for Will.

“Oh there’s a case in Kentucky, I missed Henry’s graduation, so I’m here for Michaels while he’s on the case, it’s only fair,” she explained with a smile, content with how their life and relationship worked.

“Do you want to sit with us?” Y/N offered, pointing at the folding chairs, taking a seat with JJ in the front, sitting between her and Spencer so she could talk to both of them before the ceremony.

It was lovely having them become friends, his first love and the last one he'd ever have.

They passed out tissues (thank god) before the ceremony, Y/N and Spencer both using at least 5 as they watched Amoreena get her tiny scroll of paper, move the string on her hat to the other side and then wave at them. Spencer took at least 100 photos of her, unable to stop how proud he felt that he made her.

What Amoreena failed to mention was that she was chosen to be the class valedictorian, surprising them with a tiny speech at an even tinier podium. It was so cute, both Spencer and JJ recorded it to remember for later.

“My class chose me to talk to everyone because I’m the oldest, lots of my classmates like to think of me as an older sister,” she smiled right at her parents, hinting at the fact she knew when she thought Spencer didn’t yet.

So he played along, looking surprised at the word choice.

“I’ve had the best two years with all my friends in this classroom, Miss Kennedy was the nicest women they could pick to make sure we learned everything we need to before grade school starts,” her words were definitely chosen by her, possibly reworded by her teacher but definitely from her heart.

“My mom taught me the alphabet, she taught me how to spell and count, she taught me lots of things that miss Kennedy taught in here, at first it was hard being the kid who knew more, but then it was fun getting to help everyone else learn,” she continued with the most enthusiastic voice, going off-script as she thought of more. “My dad, though, he’s taught me how special our family is. How special it is to get to meet new people and learn about the world with them, I’m so glad my parents made me so I could learn with all of you these past 2 years.”

All the parents were crying, she was able to touch the hearts of everyone around her. At the age of 7, she was more well-spoken, more understanding and grateful than any of the adults in that room.

“I’ll see you all on the big kid yard next year!” She cheered, jumping up and down and clapping, all her friends rushed to the stage for a big group hug.

His little girl was so unbelievably loved, the way she deserved.

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