#round blue painting

[flavorsims]

Bedroom - Mediterranean Bedroom Bedroom - huge mediterranean guest carpeted bedroom idea with blue walls, a standard fireplace and a stone fireplace

[blu3berrydraws]

--- Anon requested: Days go by and nauseous for zukka. From this palette meme.

[pennumbra]

Quirin + Outfits

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

Way before this dynamic duo starred in the short film, The Truth (2014), Fred and Wes graced our screens and captured our hearts in

(Please don’t re-post/share this edit I made anywhere else. Please just only reblog this on Tumblr. Thank you!)

[neathbound-fiends]

The most important things to remember when drawing Florence are that she's short af, flat chested as hell, her hair is wildly curly, and she is head to toe coated in freckles. If you include these three things, everything else is negotiable while still being recognizably her

[beesolively]

Library Living Room Living room library - mid-sized transitional enclosed brown floor and dark wood floor living room library idea with blue walls, a standard fireplace, a stone fireplace and no tv

[luna-azzurra]

Describe your Main Character sheet

Skin

Tone: Pale, Rosy, Olive, Dark, Tanned, Alabaster, Ebony, Bronze, Golden, Fair

Texture: Smooth, Rough, Silky, Coarse, Flaky, Supple, Wrinkled, Calloused, Bumpy

Condition: Moles, Acne, Dry, Greasy, Freckled, Scars, Birthmarks, Bruised, Sunburned, Flawless

Complexion: Clear, Ruddy, Sallow, Glowing, Dull, Even-toned, Blotchy

Eyes

Size: Small, Large, Average, Tiny, Bulging, Narrow

Color: Grey, Brown, Blue, Violet, Pink, Green, Gold, Hazel, Crimson, Amber, Turquoise, Sapphire, Onyx

Shape: Doe-eyed, Almond, Close-set, Wide-set, Round, Oval, Hooded, Monolid

Expression: Deep-set, Squinty, Monolid, Heavy eyelids, Upturned, Downturned, Piercing, Gentle, Sparkling, Steely

Other: Glassy, Bloodshot, Tear-filled, Clear, Glinting, Shiny

Hair

Thickness: Thin, Thick, Fine, Normal

Texture: Greasy, Dry, Soft, Shiny, Curly, Frizzy, Wild, Unruly, Straight, Smooth, Wavy, Floppy

Length: Cropped, Pixie-cut, Afro, Shoulder length, Back length, Waist length, Past hip-length, Buzz cut, Bald

Styles: Weave, Hair extensions, Jaw length, Layered, Mohawk, Dreadlocks, Box braids, Faux locks, Braid, Ponytail, Bun, Updo

Color: White, Salt and pepper, Platinum blonde, Golden blonde, Dirty blonde, Blonde, Strawberry blonde, Ash brown, Mouse brown, Chestnut brown, Golden brown, Chocolate brown, Dark brown, Jet black, Ginger, Red, Auburn, Dyed, Highlights, Low-lights, Ombre

Eyebrows: Thin eyebrows, Average eyebrows, Thick eyebrows, Plucked eyebrows, Bushy eyebrows, Arched eyebrows, Straight eyebrows

Lips

Shape: Full, Thin, Heart-shaped, Bow-shaped, Wide, Small

Texture: Chapped, Smooth, Cracked, Soft, Rough

Color: Pale, Pink, Red, Crimson, Brown, Purple, Nude

Expression: Smiling, Frowning, Pursed, Pouting, Curved, Neutral, Tight-lipped, Parted

Nose

Shape: Button, Roman, Hooked, Aquiline, Flat, Pointed, Wide, Narrow, Crooked, Upturned, Snub

Size: Small, Large, Average, Long, Short

Condition: Freckled, Sunburned, Smooth, Bumpy

Build

Frame: Petite, Slim, Athletic, Muscular, Average, Stocky, Large, Lean, Stout, Bony, Broad-shouldered, Narrow-shouldered

Height: Short, Tall, Average, Petite, Giant

Posture: Upright, Slouched, Rigid, Relaxed, Graceful, Awkward, Stiff, Hunched

Hands

Size: Small, Large, Average, Delicate, Strong

Texture: Smooth, Rough, Calloused, Soft, Firm

Condition: Clean, Dirty, Manicured, Scarred, Wrinkled

Nails: Short, Long, Polished, Chipped, Clean, Dirty, Painted, Natural

Voice

Tone: Deep, High, Soft, Loud, Raspy, Melodic, Monotonous, Hoarse, Clear, Gentle

Volume: Loud, Soft, Whispery, Booming, Muted

Pace: Fast, Slow, Steady, Hasty, Measured

Expression: Cheerful, Sad, Angry, Calm, Anxious, Confident, Nervous, Excited, Bored

[noughticalcrossings]

Put thee not on Silent

[ID: A 4 panel comic made of digital paintings of a zoom meeting between the knights of the Round Table.

Sir Galahad, Queen Guinevere, Sir Gawain, Sir Lancelot, Sir Bedivere, have their own individual screens, and one screen shows a conference room with King Arthur, Sir Mordred, and others who are not named.

Both Sir Lancelot and Queen Guinevere have their cameras turned off, and microphones muted, the entire time.

Panel 1 shows King Arthur with a few of his knights, with Sir Mordred brooding beside him in shadows, and a hand reaching from offscreen to steal snacks from a bowl.

Sir Galahad has his microphone muted, and is in a forest, looking up and to the side. He has brown hair up above his head and very pale skin.

King Arthur asks, "Sir Gawain, canst thou see the PowerPoint slides?"

Panel 2 shows Sir Gawain, who has brown skin, black hair, green clothes, and heterochromia, with one green eye and one dark, replies, "Verily I cannot, I think it be a miasma of the sight."

Behind him for the background is a section from the Green Knight manuscript, showing faded lettering and a green knight on a green horse standing in front of someone with a large axe while a crowd of spectators watch from the sides.

Sir Galahad's screen is now slightly motion-blurred, showing a reddragon's open mouth in front of Sir Galahad's face.

Panel 3 shows Sir Bedivere, labeled Tech Support, who wears a blue shirt and a plumed knight's helm, looking exhaustedly into the camera, pushing his helmet visor up with one hand. He is lit by blue light and has bags under his eyes, asking: "Hast thou sharest the screen?"

His background is of a library. Sir Galahad's screen is now taken up by the motion-blurred side of the dragon that is attacking him.

Panel 4 shows Sir Gawain turned slightly to the side, looking derisively at the camera, saying: "Yea, but I cannot hear Sir Galahad."

The only thing left in Sir Galahad's screen is the motion-blurred, spade shaped tail tip of the dragon chasing him.

End ID.]

Description very kindly added by @describe-things

[literaryvein-reblogs]

what are some ways to describe people other than eye and hair color

I am assuming you are looking for physical descriptors. Here are some examples. I may just make a different post on psychological descriptors.

Arms: Long, Muscular, Pudgy, Short, Skinny, Thin

Back: Bent, Hunched, Ramrod Straight, Rounded

Build: Anorexic, Athletic, Beefy, Brawny, Burly, Chubby, Coltish, Compact, Fat, Gangly, Gaunt, Gawky, Haggard, Heavy-set, Herculean, Husky, Lanky, Lithe, Muscular, Obese, Overweight, Petite, Rangy, Reed-like, Scrawny, Skinny, Slender, Slight, Solid, Spindly, Statuesque, Stocky, Strapping, Sylphlike, Taut, Thickset, Thin, Trim, Underweight, Voluptuous, Well-built, Willowy, Withered

Cheeks: Blushing, Bold, Curved, Dimpled, Bold, Curved, Dimpled, Disturbed, Glorious, Glowing, Hairless, High (cheekbones), Hollow, Honey, Livid, Pale, Pallid, Pink, Plump, Puffy, Radiant, Reddened, Rosy, Rounded, Ruddy, Shining, Smooth, Soft, Sun-burnt, Sun-bronzed, Sunken, Sun-tanned, Tanned, Tearful, White

Chin: Angular, Bony, Bumpy, Chiseled, Defined, Doughy, Firm, Protruding, Round, Smooth, Soft, Square, Strong

Ears: Jug-like, Large, Protruding, Tiny

Eyebrows: Arching, Bushy, Emphasized, Near, Spaced, Thick, Thin

Eyelashes: Artificial, Beaded, Beautiful, Blinking, Dark, Dark-fringed, Dense, Dusky, Heavily-fringed, Long, Mascaraed, Sandy, Sooty, Sopping, Tear-drenched, Thick, Uplifted

Eyes: Almond-shaped, Bright, Bulging, Expressive, Frightened, Gentle, Languishing, Little, Luminous, Made-up, Round, Shining, Shortsighted, Smart, Stunned, Thin, Wide, Woeful

Face: Baby, Blood-stained, Bold, Chiseled, Contorted, Dead, Expressionless, Fair, Familiar, Fierce, Flat, Frightened, Furrowed, Honest, Indifferent, Little, Pale, Poker, Pretty, Radiant, Rough, Ruddy, Sallow, Square, Stained, Swollen, Trim, Weather-beaten, Wry

Feet: Athlete's, Big, Flat, Pigeon-toed, Small, Sore, Stinky, Stubby, Swollen

Fingers: Gnarled, Long, Short, Stubby

Finger Nails: Bitten, Broken, Claw-like, Dirty, Hooked, Long, Painted, Sharp, Talon-like

Hair: Afro, Bald, Beehive, Braided, Bristles, Bun, Chignon, Coiffure, Combed, Corkscrew, Corn rows, Cowlicked, Crew cut, Curly, Disarrayed, Disheveled, Dreadlocks, Dry, Flattop, Flecked, French braid, French twist, Fringe, Greasy, Grizzled, Knotted, Layered, Locks, Matted, Messed up, Mohawk, Mussy, Muttonchops, Neat, Oily, Page boy, Perm, Pigtails, Plait, Pompadour, Ponytail, Ragged, Receding, Ringlets, Ruffled, Shaggy, Shorn, Shoulder-length, Skinhead, Spiky, Split-ended, Straight, Tangled, Thick, Thinning, Tidy, Topknot, Tousled, Twisted, Uncombed, Unshorn, Untidy, Wavy, Wiry, Wisps

Hand: Big, Elegant, Small

Height: Big, Knee-high, Medium, Short, Shoulder-high, Sky-high, Small, Tall, Towering, Waist-high

Legs: Amputated, Bandy, Bony, Bowed, Brawny, Bulging, Fluted, Gartered, Gouty, Graceful, Hacked, Hairy, Jagged, Knotted, Leaden, Long, Lower, Muscular, Pitiful, Rickety, Shapely, Shivering, Short, Sinewy, Slender, Slim, Spindle, Stockinged, Sturdy, Thin, Thread-like, Tinder, Tiny, Toothsome, Tree trunks

Lips: Blue, Cracked, Cupid's Bow, Downturned, Dry, Fat, Full, Grim, Large, Luscious, Parched, Parted, Red, Ruby, Small, Smiling, Thin, Wet

Mouth: Arch, Ascetic, Baby, Cavernous, Churning, Compressed, Cooing, Coral, Cracked, Cruel, Delicate, Dumpled, Distended, Dry, Fine, Firm, Frothy, Full, Funnel-shaped, Gaping, Grim, Handsome, Hungry, Insistent, Irritable, Large, Luscious, Munching, Musty, Perilous, Puckered, Querulous, Relaxed, Resolute, Sardonic, Sensuous, Serious, Slobbering, Small, Sulky, Sweet, Tender, Thin, Wide, Winsome, Wrinkled, Yawning

Neck: Bullnecked, Elegant, Long, Short, Swan-like, Thick

Palm: Broad, Oval, Rectangular, Square

Skin: Acned, Alabaster, Albino, Apricot, Black, Blemished, Blistered, Blooming, Blotchy, Blushing, Bronzed, Cadaverous, Calloused, Caramel, Clear, Craggy, Cream, Ebony, Fair, Flush, Freckled, Glowing, Greasy, Ivory, Jaundiced, Leathery, Lily-white, Lined, Milky, Mottled, Nut-brown, Olive, Pale, Pallid, Pasty, Peeling, Pimpled, Pink, Pitted, Pockmarked, Red, Rosy, Rough, Ruddy, Russet, Sallow, Scabby, Scarred, Smooth, Splotchy, Spotty, Sun-burnt, Tan, Wan, Waxen, White, Wrinkled, Yellow

Stomach: Bulging, Distended, Empty, Firm, Flabby, Flat, Heroic, Hollow, Lean, Paunchy, Protruding, Unbounded

Teeth: Artificial, Black, Blunted, Buck, Canine, Chattering, Clenched, Clinched, Compressed, Crooked, Dagger-like, Dazzling, Decayed, Deciduous, Extracted, False teeth, Feeble, Ferocious, Filed, Flashing, Fluoridated, Foam-laced, Fractured, Gap-toothed, Gleaming, Glistening, Glittering, Gnashing, Goofy, Grinding, Hooked, Horrid, Ivory, Jagged, Lacquered, Large, Milky, Mottled, Neglected, Pearly, Perfect, Pretty, Protruding, Razor-like, Sharp, Shining, Short, Small, Snowy, Sore, Spaced, Straight, Sweet tooth, Tender, Tiny, Toothless, Toothy, Ugly, Unrelenting, White, Wisdom, Wolfish, Yellow

Hope this helps! If it does, do tag me or send me a link to your writing. I'd love to read your work.

More: On Character Development

[amaranthinespirit]

simon riley who lets you wear whatever you want because everyone else only gets to look. he gets to be the one to take you home and fuck you until nothing but his name falls from your pretty, pink, puffy lips.

another night out at the bar with simon and his boys, wearing a dress so short, your ass is peeking out the hem, and a cut so low, your cleavage is on full display—and only more pronounced with the low lighting that casted shadows across your skin. the way your nipples hardened—prominent through the material of what you wore—and goosebumps arose your skin at the cold breeze of the ac.

simon saw the way eyes lingered on you every time you detached yourself from his side—and admittedly, he was one of those pairs of eyes. every time his arm wasn't slung around your waist, or around your shoulders pulling you flush against his body, it was like it was an invitation for those around to take a look at you—but it wasn't.

it had made him jealous—possessive even—but he knew it was not your fault, nor your intention. in fact, he encouraged you to wear whatever you wanted—he can fight. and besides, it wasn't like they were the ones that were going to take you home and fuck you on their heavy, lengthy cocks till nothing, but their names spewed from your lips—only him.

regardless, the feeling brewed in the pit of his stomach; a fuzzy tingling feeling that made his dick twitch in his tight jeans. he felt the blood rushing south, his flaccid cock chubbing up at the sight—and thought—of you in that tight, skimpy material that was a sad excuse of a dress. the outline of his bulge in the blue denim becoming more pronounced than before.

he groaned lowly before taking the last remaining sips of his bourbon, muttering an excuse to the guys about it getting a bit late; that he needed to take the missus 'ome.

before they could make a comment, he rose from his seat and crossed the room to you—who stood at the bar waiting to order the next 'round of drinks.

he felt the way your body jumped at the contact of his large hand splayed across the small of your back, the way his thumb dragged back and forth across the material slowly as he looked down at you. the tense muscles across your body relaxed under his hand at the realization it was him before he tugged you out the bar.

a smug smirk painted his face at the sight of the eyes that followed your earlier movements realizing that you were with him, that you were his—but he would make sure they remembered for the time you guys came back.

he was eager to get home, to tear that tiny little dress from your body. he wasn't sure he could make it past the front room with how hard his dick was in his jeans, twitching with every contact of your skin. his hand grasping your plush thigh tightly in his calloused hand, his skin rough against yours.

goosebumps rising underneath his palm as his hand slid further and further up your leg. his fingers grazed the hem of your panties, feeling the lace material under the pads of his fingertips. trailing along the junction of your thigh and cunt, teasing the skin as he felt your muscle tense beneath his touch.

a huffed chuckle escaped his lips at your eagerness, your desperation while his middle finger grazed down the center of your silken cunt, feeling the folds of your labia through the fabric of your panties that soaked with your wetness. a quiet mewl escaped your lips and you could see the smug expression etch itself onto his face by the way his eyes glanced your way before peeling back to look at the road once more.

he continued to toy with your pussy through the fabric, parting your folds back and forth with a pinch to your sensitive clit every so often that sent a hand flying down around his wrist.

but his movements didn't falter. his teasing finger worked your pussy all the way home, groaning lowly when he finally pulled his hand from between your legs, away from your completely soaked panties, to look at the glistening and pruned finger you caused.

he salivated at the sight, slipping his fingers under his mask to get a taste of you—a sample of what's to come for him.

it wasn't long before he had you pushed back into the bed, dressed hiked up your hips and pushed down from your tits, leaving the material bunched around your midsection.

he growled at the sight of your dampened panties, hooking his hands around your thighs to press your clothed cunt against his painfully hard erection, feeling his heavy dick twitching through the material.

he was desperate, you were desperate, but he couldn't resist the urge to tease you, to punish you for what you had made him feel for the entirety of the night—even if he had been the one who told you to wear whatever you'd felt like.

he rolled his thumb up your panties, pressing down against your clit as he watched you squirm beneath him. he chuckled lowly at your heightened sensitivity as his other hand worked to unzip his jeans. he didn't bother to get undressed, to throw his shirt off and tug his jeans down his hips to hang around his thick thighs.

while you lay practically naked under him, he hovered without a single article of clothing shed from his body as he pulled his erect cock from his boxers.

the sight from below had made you impossibly more soaked—the way he looked down at you with a tiled head, balaclava still on while he remained fully clothed with just his thick, meaty cock poking out from his jeans as he stroked the length with one hand, the other toying with your clit.

he hadn't bothered to pull your panties down your legs, or tear them off even as he lined his weeping dick up to your pussy, biting back a groan at the sight of you desperately clenching around nothing in anticipation for his heavy cock.

precum oozed from the head of his dick, swiped away by his thumb as he stroked himself before teasing his length across your slick. he cursed under his breath at the warmth before slipping his bulbous head past your walls.

he felt the slight stretch of you around him, the whimper desperation for more as he fucked just the tip into you.

"think this'll teach ya what happens when i let ya do what ya want?" his voice is low and strained with withering control as his hips buck further into you involuntarily, "but i think ya do it on purpose, don't ya, love?"

you whined, his name spilling from your lips in response to his words because other than 'simon,' no other words could be formed. just like he wanted.

he watched the way your sopping pussy swallowed his dick, the way his meaty, veiny cock glistened with your slick every time he pulled out, only to slam back in. his bulbous tip kissing your cervix with each pounding thrust, his clothed hips hitting the back of your thighs, turning the skin red and staining his jeans with your slick.

his hips pistoned his cock further into your cunt with an unrelented pace as he leaned over you, feeling your bare skin through the fabric of his shirt as he sucked at your skin. he left marks purposely in areas he knew would be shown off the next time you dared to wear a dress like the one he's fucking you in. his lips bruising the fatty flesh of your breasts and the valley between them, up to your collarbone.

when he felt your first orgasm wash over you, his hips bucked relentlessly and unfaltering into you. the way your body trembled under him didn't stop him from rolling you onto your stomach.

"mm, 'm not done with you yet, lovie," he cooed from above, a hand running along your spine, feeling each vertebrae through your flesh.

his hand slid under your hips to hike your ass into the air as he fucked you into the mattress as one rough hand trailed to your waist to pull you back into his hard cock, and the other tangled in your hair to keep your pretty little wrecked face into the bedding.

with this new angle, he fucked his meaty dick further into your sweet cunt, feeling the way you clench around him with new sensitivity and the way his name fell from your lips in a new octave, muffled by the pillow your face was shoved into.

when he would find his release, he didn't stop either. he continued, though his paced slowed as he watched his creamy load seep from your glistening pussy, fucking it back into you with hard, slow thrusts. a ring of creamy white forming at the base of his cock and soaking into the denim of his newly ruined jeans.

he growled at the mewls that spilled from your lips at the feeling of his jeans against your overly sensitive cunt, pulling out of your pussy with a squelch as he replaced his dick with his fingers, swiping his load that spilled down from your hole to thrust it back into you.

a satisfied and proud hum rumbled his chest as he looked at the bruises and hickeys littering your skin so next time you decide to wear a dress so short and low cut, everybody can tell that you're his.

and maybe you would if it got you fucked like that by simon—but he doesn't need to know that. that's our secret.

[princessreasonmusic]

Bathroom - Transitional Powder Room Powder room - transitional beige floor powder room idea with flat-panel cabinets, a one-piece toilet, blue walls, an undermount sink and white countertops

[satoruoo]

"you're doing it wrong, baby."

the man before you only huffs in annoyance, a pout forming on his glossed lips. you stifle a laugh as he sulks, his fingers working to untie the sad excuse of a bow that held your heel in place.

"let me try again," satoru half pleads from between your legs, "i promise i'll get it right this time."

in truth, you're enjoying the view of your boyfriend kneeling at your feet while he attempts to tie your lace-up heels. your foot is strategically placed between his legs, pretty white-painted toenails on display as he tries and fails to correctly strap up your shoe.

hell, he's kneeling in a tailored suit, and it's messing with your brain.

you're going on a date tonight - it's a fancy restaurant that satoru's been dying to try out. it'd been a pain in the ass to pick out an outfit, not because you lacked clothes, your boyfriend ensured your wardrobe was always filled to the brim with the latest fashion. no, rather, it was because he insisted you wear matching outfits.

his problem, however, was your choice of shoe. your favourite pair of black lace-up heels was your pick for the evening. he'd asked to do them up for you and you thought it was going to be a 30-second thing.

you've now been sitting here for 10 minutes.

"what the fuck is this shit?" he mumbles to himself, irritated. "why is this so complicated??"

another attempt and he's given up, leaning back a fraction to critique his work. horrible, as expected.

you laugh as satoru sighs loudly, leaning his head on the exposed skin of your thigh in exasperation. his white locks tickle your flesh, and you take it upon yourself to rake your manicured nails through his hair, fingertips scratching his undercut affectionately.

you think he's adorable like this - absolute putty in your hands. he nuzzles into your skin, leaving soft kisses on the plush of your thigh as you dutifully work your fingers over his scalp.

"how about i do one, and you can watch and do the other?" you suggest.

he perks up quickly, icy blue irises sparkling. he nods, a beaming smile settling on his lips. he shifts his weight and leans back to give you space.

"so, you take these, 'round the back, and twist, then under and wrap around the ankle, twist one more time, and - boom!" you finish tying the bow on the back of your calf and smile.

satoru's eyebrow raises immediately, an expression half of disgust and half of confusion finding its place on his features. he squints at you, "you expect me to do that?"

"precisely," you respond with a smug grin.

there's a subtle challenge in your answer, and satoru drinks it like water. a challenge? he'll do it, easy. he switches your feet, sticking his tongue out as he focuses on his task.

you're watching him, amused by the way his brows furrow in concentration as he repeats the steps. around, the straps are crossed around your foot. twist, the straps are twisted. under, the straps are hooked beneath the heel. wrap, the straps are crossed and taken around your leg. twist.

he's done it. a fast learner, indeed.

you can't help the way your lips curve into a smile, applauding his efforts. his crystalline eyes are on you again - how could they not be? you're nothing short of gorgeous in that dress - pleading for some kind of praise.

"thanks, babe." you say, bending to place a kiss on his collarbone.

(he hopes to god there's a lipstick stain there so he can show everyone in that restaurant who he belongs to.)

satoru, being the most amazing boyfriend out there, helps you get on your feet, hand resting on the small of your back as he guides you from your apartment to his car.

"you look stunning tonight, love." he says while grinning like a lovestruck fool as you slip into the passenger seat.

"i know," you answer, shooting him a smile that gets him weak in the knees, "you picked the dress, after all."

you were going to be the death of him.

tagging: @sad-darksoul

[brionneseal]

Brionne is the most beautiful and easy Pokemon ever to create in Microsoft Paint, her head at least

[sasha-psychedelia]

The Provably Worst Gun for Home Defense

What is provably the WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.

This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.

I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.

Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a loud "thud" as you take each 6" step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.

You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times.

To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.

With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream.

You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.

You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.

It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear.

The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care. Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator.

You're crying now.

The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.

[clockward]

Enclosed Dining Room in Cleveland Enclosed dining room - large mediterranean dark wood floor enclosed dining room idea with no fireplace and blue walls

[wolvesatbayct]

Minimalist powder room photo Image of a modern powder room