#ross has fun with dave anyway

[franeridart]

Ross: this is dumb

Stills follow dave following spoon.

PS. nico and spoon should form a fanclub "we dont like dave"

Everyone's been calling out Ross on that hahaha you're right, you should say it !!!

[apocalypticavolition]

Film Thoughts

So in an effort to become more cultured and whatnot I figured I might as well get the streaming service for film nerds. Way too many essential films I haven't seen, so why not knock a bunch out? Here's what I watched in the last week.

The Graduate

It's rare for a romantic comedy (well, dramedy, but still, it's hilarious) to be aware that its male protagonist is a horrible person whose only virtue, if you can call it that, is an unrelenting persistence in getting what he wants. It's even rarer for those with incompatible romantic leads to be aware of exactly how miserable they're going to make each other once the honeymoon phase wears off. The Graduate is famous for its ending that makes it very clear exactly how badly its protagonists have torpedoed their lives. But I'd really like to highlight that delightfully horrible moment in the middle, when Dustin Hoffman's character drags Katharine Ross to the front row of a strip club and - for basically the only time in the film until the ending - feels something resembling the human emotion of regret as she is humiliated by the dancer and brought to tears. Anne Bancroft is a fantastic Mrs. Robinson, a woman whose initial affair with Hoffman and perpetually caustic attitude don't quite manage to hide how desperately depressed she really is. A+, should have seen it a lot sooner.

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

I've seen Time Bandits, so I'm honestly not sure why I expected anything different. Terry Gilliam adapts a German novel about a tall-tale-telling nobleman (played by John Neville) who fought in the Russo-Turkish War of the 1730s. It's... well, with just a little effort you could easily make it a sequel to Time Bandits. The big differences are that the Baron's obligatory child companion is a girl this time (Sarah Polley) and that he only has one dwarf (Jack Purvis) in the party instead of six, with his other companions being a variety of dudes with extraordinary abilities. Like the Bandits, the Baron jumps from fantastic location to location, visiting a city under siege, Greek myths, and a distant ocean. Finding Robin Williams as the King of Space on the moon is a new touch at least. But sadly, where Bandits's strange ending is almost entirely based on how its plot unfolded bar Sean Connery's unexplained presence in the present, Baron doubles down on the inexplicable at the last minute and deliberately muddles its own finale. I'm not sure Gilliam really ever knew how to end stories. Everything else was quite fun though.

The Delta

An obscure indie film about a young man (Shayne Gray) in Tennessee who embraces his queer leanings and goes boating with a black Vietnamese immigrant (Thang Chan). It's the kind of indie film I often find myself bouncing off of, avoiding a clear dramatic arc in favor of atmosphere and subtle characterization, but on the whole I was drawn in. Chan was a particular delight, demonstrating the difficulties his character had as a queer immigrant of unusual heritage navigating the south in the 90s. It's obvious their relationship is going to fall apart, but I rooted for it anyway. I also enjoyed an earlier scene in the film in which Gray hooks up with a middle-aged man with fetishes that end the encounter prematurely, despite the man's begging as Gray prepares to leave. Sadly, this is another film with ending problems, escalating to a violent conflict that feels more like it was about shocking the audience that anything else. It's still worth watching for Chan's performance.

Inside Llewyn Davis

I really enjoy the Coen Brothers. Oscar Isaac plays the titular character, the Coens' take on real folk singer Dave van Ronk, a talented musician whose impulsiveness and pride consistently prevent him from ever finding real success. Davis remains a more sympathetic character than the company he keeps in part because of the grief of his former musical (and romantic?) partner's death and in part because he does consistently try to do right by his friends even as he makes poor decision after poor decision. Other strong performances in the film include Carey Mulligan, who is almost completely unlikable but dominates every scene she's in, and of course John Goodman who could play a decayed corpse and still be nominated for several awards. In this case he plays a complete asshole of a jazz musician with a heroin problem. It's a fun look at a fictitious variant of the New York folk music scene, but honestly "Coen Brothers" should have already told you whether or not you'd like it.

The Lady Vanishes

Since the Criterion Channel cycles their roster monthly and Hitchcock is being kicked off the streams at the end of this month, I figured I'd give him a bit of attention. The Lady Vanishes offers up a simple enough story: bride-to-be Iris Henderson (Margaret Lockwood) crosses paths with Miss Froy (May Whitty) on a train, but Miss Froy vanishes and Iris has to team up with Gilbert (Michael Redgrave) when no one will admit to having seen the woman, some for merely selfish reasons and others for far more sinister ones. It's a bit too "civilized Brits keeping their chins up amid wicked foreigners" for my liking, but the mystery is a good one and the suspense keeps up even as the characters unravel it. Apparently side characters Charters and Caldicott (who were kinda gay for each other, just saying) were so popular that the BBC just kept using them, which I... do not understand at all. A fun movie, but not Hitchcock's best.

Rear Window

Okay I've already seen this one, but it's been years so it was time to watch it again dammit. I don't know if Rear Window is Hitchcock's best, but it's my favorite. A film that's as much about film as it is about spying on your neighbors, Rear Window is a technical marvel. James Stewart and *checks notes* future princess of Monaco, Grace Kelly-

*checks notes again*

Nope, that's what it says. Hell of a career move.

-star in this thriller about a man who tragically broke his leg about five years before TV became popular and so had to turn to voyeurism to pass the time instead. When he's not spying on the hot dancer or the lonely over-30 woman who is about ready to kill herself from the loneliness, he solves crime! Seriously, just watch it, unless you don't like movies where the dog doesn't live. (Spoiler alert: the dog does not live and its owners are fucking distraught.)

The Cat from Outer Space

Imagine crossing E.T. with Hocus Pocus and adding some of the cast of M*A*S*H, then carefully distilling all of that quality entertainment, tossing it in the trash, and turning the dregs into film. I cannot even begin to fathom why the Criterion Channel has this movie. Its individual scenes are blandly predictable while its overall plot veers wildly from concept to concept (the military reacts to an extraterrestrial probe! the heroes need to gamble on sports and then at a pool hall to get gold! there's an air rescue scene!) in a mishmash of ideas that are each almost but not quite interesting. Since it does predate the kids films it so strongly resembles I won't ding it for having a scene where our alien cat levitates a bike for our hero to ride to safety, but I was so uninterested in this movie that I still kind of want to. Show this to your young kids, ideally when you don't have to be in the same room, but otherwise skip.

Rope

So this was a Hitchcock that I thought I hadn't seen but realized very shortly that I definitely had back in high school. Struggling against the limitations of the era, it's a Hays Code movie starring John Dall and Farley Granger as a murderous gay couple and it's shot to look like a single take despite the fact that they literally couldn't fit more than ten minutes of film into the cameras back then. The title refers both to the literal murder weapon and to the metaphorical noose tightening around the main characters' necks as they try to flaunt their criminal genius by throwing a dinner party with all of their victim's family and friends while he's stuffed into the table they're eating off of. Dall, the sociopathic dom of the relationship, is all too pleased with himself and confident they have everyone (including James Stewart) fooled, while Granger, the obedient sub, slowly cracks under the guilt. You should definitely watch this, especially if you somehow didn't notice how gay it was.

[philippmichelreichold]

 on Ross R. Olney's Tales of Time and Space   on Ross R. Olney's Tales of Time and Space   on Ross R. Olney's Tales of Time and Space   Home   Tales of Time and Space, edited by  Ross R. Olney consists of a number of  simply plotted little stories by some of science fiction's best. They are simply plotted yet enthralling. Don't know what passes for young adult fiction these days, but these stories fit the bill  for me in days gone buy. 10 • Yesterday's Fantasy, Today's Fact-an Introduction • essay by Ross R. Olney No one has read much science fiction without having been told how imaginative/speculative/science fiction/fantasy foretold most common place advances long before they were made. This may have been  the first book in which I read the idea. 15 • All the Time in the World • (1952) • shortstory by Arthur C. Clarke Sir Author C. Clarke is best known for "2001: A Space Odyssey", "Childhood's End", and "Rendevous with Rama".   Any offer that sounds too good probably has a catch, and so it is in this story. Say you're a thief by trade and someone  offers a million pounds to hire you to clean out a national museum. They offer to lend you a bracelet that accelerates time around you so that you can be in and out in a flash. or a blink of an eye. You'd be a fool not to, right?  A tight little story about the thief's moral qualms. The ending was not surprising. Would have made a good Twilight Zone.  It was an episode in the TV series Tales of  Tomorrow.   It was Clarke's first story adapted to TV. 34 • Puppet Show • (1962) • shortstory by Fredric Brown Fredric Brown also wrote "Arena", the story the Star Trek (TOS) episode of the same name was/wasn't based on. First contacts can be dicey. Say you're assigned by a vast Galactic Federation to evaluate Earth in general and the United States in particular. What questions would you ask and what assurances would you make? And what sort of tests would you perform? And what is a "master race" anyway? A pointy little story about ethnocentrism. It's one of Brown's last stories and one of several First Contact stories.  Brown does a wonderful job of setting up the reader for the ending. 50 • Birds of a Feather  is a1958  novelette by Robert Silverberg Robert Silverberg sold his first stories in 1953 and 1954. He still writes a column for Asimov's Science Fiction. The first story of his I remember reading is Nightwings in The Hugo Winners. Birds are ruthless competitors. They are the surviving dinosaurs, and their survival instincts are hard-wired into their old reptile cortices. How fitting an analogy to describe the protagonist and antagonist in this story.  Say you run a special sort of show. Non-humans line up to get in. You have to turn away most. But what if a con artist puts one over you and horns in under false pretenses? Now you've got an employee sharp enough to squeeze you out of a sweet deal. But he can't out-con a con, when you've got the goods on him. This is a fun and imaginative read. The variety of xenophonts reminds me of Poul Anderson's stories. 82 • Clutch of Morpheus is a 1946 a short story by William Campbell Gault [as by Larry Sternig ] Say you were born with a mutation. Not an obvious-to-the-eye mutation, but you don't sleep, haven't slept, can't sleep. Say you've been poked and prodded and examined by scientists and physicians and the public to the point of taking an assumed name to avoid further publicity.  But you're curious-- what's it like? you wonder. What's it like to sleep? So you look up the leading anesthesiologist in the country and discuss it with him over dinner. Meanwhile, there's a comet in the sky, and Earth is situated in its tale, and will be for some time. Long story short, it has a soporific effect on everyone else. You get to figure out the solution to their problem, which happens to be the solution to your own, through an incredible string of co-incidences.   The story  stretches the ability to suspend disbelief, which wasn't a problem when I first read the story, and which does not seem an insurmountable problem in most readers of science fiction. Mumblety-mumble years of reading this stuff means seldom  being surprised by an ending, but I enjoyed it just the same.  105 • The Last Command is a Bolo 1967  short story by Keith Laumer Dave Drake  tells in his preface to Hammer's Slammers that he was heavily influenced by Laumer's Bolo's. The professionalism and dedication to duty that Drake describes in his own unit, the Viet Nam era Blackhorse , is seen also in Laumer's , "Unit LNE of the Dinochrome Brigade!"  a Mark XXVIII Bolo and his former commander, Lieutenant Sanders.  Unit LNE of the Dinochrome Brigade." Say you awaken buried and crippled, the blasting at a construction site 70 years after  your burial  has jarred  you awake and triggered your Battle Mode Reflex. On escaping  your tomb and finding yourself  not only crippled but alone, you conclude that your unit has been annihilated by a counter attack. You do not realize 70 years have past and that the city ahead of  you is a civilian city and not the enemy's stronghold. Your duty is clear. Whatever the cost, duty demands that you charge the ramparts and inflict as much harm on the enemy as you can before you succumb. Nothing now on planet can stop a BOLO  Mark XXVIII.  (The artillery  and air strikes they lay on you just knock some of the debris off.) Your old commander, Lieutenant Sanders, is 90 years old and still has his old uniform. He sees your return on TV and knows that he will need to talk to you to stop this rampage. Communication from a distance proves not to be efficacious, and Sanders must climb aboard  your hull to make contact. The problem with this is you are still incredibly radioactive from the hits taken during the late battle. (You  don't know you and the others  had been buried under 200 yards of rock because clean-up would have been too costly.) Sanders receives a far greater than lethal dose in making contact, but you recognize him despite time's ravages; you break-off and retire ten miles to the desert. Together you roll into the past of a world that no longer needs nor can appreciate your service. 136 • Fog  is a  1951 a short story by William Campbell Gault This is  a somber tale that is hard to grip. Perhaps it would fit in today's idiom in which understanding of the goals and motives of the antagonist isn't important. It isn't important to understand how the protagonist got into this mess. The important thing is the courage and self abnegation of the protagonist. More subtly and appalling is the extremes to which the U.S. is willing to go to win. Russia lies a desolate, radioactive wasteland. So the means used to end the Veneran threat is a logical extension of a successful solution. I thought the story a little cheesy and the emotion rending (or not) ending reminded me of the ending of "A Question of Courage" by J. F. Bone. Say you're an orphan. The only father you've known is the head of the Science Department, your boss, The Old Man.  So The Old Man calls you to his office to send you to investigate a killer fog in San Francisco. Fog in San Francisco is not troubling. The dramatic increase in suicides associated with this fog is troubling, and it is accelerating. Unbeknownst to The Old Man is that you are secretly working for the Venereans, the inhabitants of the planet Venus.  Of course, the Venereans are behind the fog. After allowing sufficient time for the significance of the escalating suicide rate to sink in, the Venereans issue an ultimatum-- surrender or else. Your job becomes to carry the response to Venus. 161 • The Martian Crown Jewels  is a 1958 a short story by Poul Anderson Poul Anderson is best known for his Technic Civilization and Time Patrol stories. Say you're a Martian private detective who admires Sherlock Holmes. Say the Crown Jewels have been loaned to Earth and stolen during the journey home.  The diplomatic situation that would result from knowledge of the loss of the jewels becoming public would be unfortunate.  Through application of some physics, clear thinking, and deduction, you solve the mystery and expose the culprits. 189 • Of Missing Persons is a  short story by Jack Finney Say you work at a mediocre little job and live a desperate little life. The meanness of your existence eats away at you a little more each and every day. Each and every day you yearn for something better. At last, the way out, the way home, the way to a better life is there for you to take. If you don't funk at the crucial moment. Jack Finney's best known work is "The Invasion of the Body Snatchers". This poignant tale touches the reader because the protagonist's  feelings of quiet desperation in this story written sixty years ago are the feelings many of us have today. 

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: February 2020

Okay two months into the year! Here’s all the stuff I read/watched/heard/played/and generally experienced in February!

……….FILM……….

The Favourite (2018) We were in the exact right mood for this and it was as weird and dramatic and well-acted as I’d hoped. It does a great job of shifting tone and the movie probably took an extra half hour to watch as we paused and looked up the accuracy of everything about Queen Anne and Sarah Marlborough. Everything about this movie (and the history it’s based on) was just bonkers.

Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020) Super fun! It was silly and heartfelt and shockingly violent (they did a great job of having like...a baseline of violence that was pretty lowkey and then really hitting you with one or two super gruesome moments). I haven’t seen Suicide Squad but this worked for me on its own. Also the fight choreography was incredible! There’s just so much to love here. Oh I would’ve liked to see a little more costuming from the other cast members, but understand why that didn’t quite fit into this. Anyway, good time at the movies.

Down a Dark Hall (2018) Very very okay. It’s a slow burn and has a gothic vibe. None of the characters get a lot of depth but they’re well-acted. It’s just like...a solid 6.5/7ish out of 10, you know? Like not GREAT, but also good enough that it was fine.

……….TELEVISION……….

What We Do in the Shadows (Episode 1.01 to 1.07) So so good and I’m surprised I haven’t heard more people talking about this. It has enough of what I loved about the movie (charming characters and cast, fun play with what it means to be vampires, and a lot of comedy pulled from the contrast of the fantastical and the mundane) and there’s lots of new stuff as well (married vampires, american location, etc.) Really worth checking out and it makes so much sense to transition this to tv. The effects are fantastic and they don’t seem to be pulling their punches with the gore either. Very excited for more.

The Bachelor (Episode 24.05 to 24.09) I think the produces are wringing every drop of drama out of the interpersonal relationship between the women because Peter is such a dud. It’s a shame. If they took a risk and tried someone who broke the mould, then we’d get tv that breaks the mould. The only thing that’ll save this season for me is if Hannah B. comes back at the very end.

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Episode 3.04 to 3.08) A fun season, though I never really love magic plots where a the main hurdle is no magic. This is not why I watch a magic show. The eldritch horrors and spooky carnivals and insane spells are what I love. The writing feels like it’s veering into Riverdale territory, but I can’t decide if it’s always been that way. 

The Good Place (Episode 4.10 to 4.13) Oof. What a great ending. And credit to everyone involved that they created a series that set out to tell a specific story, explore specific themes, and did so with laser focus. Well-planned, excellent writing, and equal parts funny and emotional. Excellent stuff.

……….READING……….

The Time Traveler’s Almanac edited by Ann and Jeff VanderMeer (Page 357/959) Such a great collection of short stories. I usually come back to this collection of time-travel stories when I’m in between books and it never disappoints. It’s also a great way to find new sci-fi or fantasy writers and to get a sense of their writing style without commiting to an entire book. Worth checking out if you like science fiction or, even better, time travel.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson (Complete) Having only a casual understanding of the story, I was surprised by how relevant it felt. The story of a “good” man who indulges in dark deeds, swears it’s not him, asks for pity from the reader, and yet continues to do this stuff feels veeeeeery topical. Maybe Jekyll was sympathetic when the book was written?

Silver Surfer: Black by Donny Cates, Tradd Moore, and Dave Stewart (Complete) I really think Silver Surfer is becoming one of my favourite marvel characters because this book is exactly why I love comics. The writing is melodramatic yet sincere, the art is wildly inventive but coherent, and the story itself is a little sci-fi with fantasy elements. Absolutely worth checking out if you like Silver Surfer or crazy good art or bonkers stuff that doesn’t feel bonkers until you explain it out loud. It’s just a lot of fun.

Marvels by Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross (Complete) Art was/is/and will forever be stellar. I just can’t imagine how much time and love went into each panel. The writing is also wonderful and the overall story (life from the perspective of a civilians living in a world full of super-heroes) felt fully realized here. It’s fun seeing big comic book events from the point-of-view of a street-level photographer. With that said, I didn’t like the ending. I think it’s a good ending, but I didn’t like it. My gut tells me that it ended on a note that is contrary to the message being presented for 75% of the book. It’s one I have to think on a little more.

……….AUDIO……….

Judy con Disfraz by Los Sirex (1965) So this is just one song, but I’ve been listening to a lot of foreign language covers of english songs and this one is probably my favourite right now.

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) I got to play two different games of this over the month! My ongoing campaign is exploring the island a little more and are getting into lots of trouble. The one shot I did with the Mof1 Podcast should be out in March and it was great introducing a few people to both the island AND D&D in general! So great.

Curse of Strahd (Wizards of the Coast) The party finally escaped Death House! We’re starting to explore more of Barovia and I think the party is starting to realize just how deep in the forest they’ve gone.

And that’s it! As always, I’m keen to hear good things to check out so don’t hesitate to share a recommendation.

Happy Saturday!

[emperor-of-blood]

Aight so I guess I’m doing a session review?/Prediction?/Analysis of how I think @neonwolfeh session might go.

So starting this off with the premise:

It’s a normal session with no specific prototyping fuckery or trolls or whatever. and I got some brief character summaries:

Ross, Heir of Doom: Ross is a jaded, angry guy who just wants to have -One Good Daytm-.

Luca, Rogue of Life: Pretty upbeat, tries to make the best of every situation (and does not succeed). 

Kase, Seer of Rage: Fuckin edgelord, thats p much it. Full of hate and will say slurs. 

Abby, Witch of Hope: Basically a shoujo anime protagonist, awkward and peppy and sweet. 

Odin, Prince of Time: Embodiment of nervousness and jumpiness. This guy needs a nap and a hug.

Niko, Knight of Space: Like Dave Strider if he was as suave as 2012 fanon interpretations said he is.

And now for my takes on them:

So starting off my initial impressions of the session are complete failure, mostly based on one thing. Odin, the Time player. While he sounds decent enough of a guy you have to understand the reason that every session requires a Space and Time player to succeed. Technically speaking, only a Space player is needed to overcome the wall of creating a new universe. The Time player is needed because the game is just that hard. The image I get of Odin is that he won’t be actually doing much Time traveling, likely too weak-minded to believe that he could pull things off. A lot of pressure would be resting on his shoulders and he needs to answer. As I said in my Patrick Star analysis, I believe that he’s going to be wasting a lot of Time. For different reasons here though, he’s still destined to procrastinate. That is likely going to get people in his session killed. Sburb is hard and everyone involved needs to be doing their part to beat the game. 

My analysis doesn’t end with that though. We still have 5 other players to throw into the mix! Moving onto I’d like to talk about the cool cat Niko, the Knight of Space. So inherently here we have a contradictory classpect. The Knight is a protector, in their session they are supposed to cooperate with their Space player to breed The Frogtm. They are meant to be a companion. The Space class is one of solitude, barring their frog breeding partner. Space is a vast domain and both Jade and Kanaya spent most of their time alone. It’s one of their themes. They spend time worried about the bigger picture that with the smaller problems that their teammates deal with. Likely, they are very alone. And that makes me wonder, how much of the “Cool Guy” is real and how much of it is, well, him being lonely? Or a defense mechanism because of that? Keep yourself distant and aloof because that’s where you’re going to end up anyways. No reason for people to get hurt, sort of deal. 

Next I wanna talk about Luca, the Rogue of Life. I imagine her as the kind of person who is peppy to the point that it makes people uncomfortable. Trying to bring Life happiness to all of her friends by being a never ending source of sunshine. Which is all well and good, these types of people are well liked and a party falling into the traps of depression is likely to fail. That being said, I can’t help but believe that her failures come from her unending sunshine. Sometimes people just need to be sad. Life has it’s ups and down and that’s natural. People probably feel exhausted around her, much to her dismay. You must go down to rise back up. I feel like she’s probably Odin’s self proclaimed best friend and also a main source of stress for him. “You can do it!” is encouragement (He probably sees it as empty/naive), not useful advice. Her being unable to see that has got to be one of her personal challenges. She’s not responsible for rewriting everyone’s lives or fixing their problems. Those are not hurdles for her to overcome. I feel like every Rogue has some weird interaction with their aspect. As one who steals Life/steals from Life I don’t think it’s meant to be taken literally. She ain’t sucking out peoples souls. I’d say she maybe has an aura of demoralization for her enemies, kind of like a mental attack? Or it could be something more direct like absorbing Life essence through contact or something. Like a magic drain attack similar to the androids from DBZ or some equivalent. The stealing from Life is maybe... just a literal item teleportation ability? Like an actual Thief Rogue. Beyond that, she can probably bring people back to life once just like every other Life player ever.

Ross the Heir of Doom is, well, kind of a loser. but he doesn’t have to be. His main challenge is going to be realizing that his “One good daytm” isn’t just going to randomly show up. It’s something you have to work for. Once he does, he’ll probably be fine. Weirdly enough the fucking Doom player is likely the most competent out of everyone, which is really funny imo. His powers are uh. Well. One who inherits Doom/is protected by Doom. I’m shooting in the dark here despite there being a canon Heir of Doom. I’d say he maybe influences enemies to fight each other? At least early on during the passive protection phase. Later on once he awakens his powers he might be able to suck “Bad vibes” into himself, weakening his enemies and strengthening himself. That might be leeching into Thief territory but I wouldn’t know what else to say here honestly. Maybe he can fix things? Inheriting the Doom of something and taking the damage into himself? It’s up for debate.

Moving on to Kase, Seer of Rage. The dude’s probably a complete asshole. The kind that you question why you’re even friends with them. Probably racist but also hates people in general and claims that it’s OK because of that. Probably gets along really well with animals because of that too. He’s probably feeding into Odin’s insecurities, which, might actually be helping him stay until he’s really ready to time travel. But that’s not Kase’s intention (Ask him about it afterwards and he’ll claim otherwise forever.). He just want’s to be a dick and thinks being edgy or ironic is cool. As on who understands Rage he’s likely well aware that it can be useful in the right scenarios. Maybe he lets himself get taken by the berserker Rage at just the right moment and come back down afterwards. But he hasn’t really come down. You can’t just have a heart filled with Rage and hate and be a normal person the rest of the time. He can probably tell when it’s time for others to let loose as well. But likely has trouble convincing them. 

Kase and Ross probably get along really well.

Finally, we have Abby, the Witch of Hope. Honestly? She sounds really basic. She’s gotta be the most “Normal” person out of the bunch. Which, when your surrounded by weirdos, is a good thing. Everyone needs someone sane to fall back on and that’s definitely her. I imagine that’s how she manipulates Hope, just giving people some reference, some piece of mind, that they haven’t gone off the deep end. Or maybe that the have and need to rethink things. She’s probably the one that’ll help Odin figure his shit out. Maybe she drafts up a plan of events he should change. Then in the new timeline he seeks out her help again and repeats this until he can do things himself. While I don’t see her as the leader of the party, she is likely the anchor. She also probably will play a bog role in everyone else figuring out their shit too. Telling Ross to shut the fuck up, Kase to man up and do something, Luca to do something productive, Niko to call her when he the loneliness starts getting to him, just to talk. Her challenges likely revolve around realizing how important she is. After all, she’s just a shoujo protag, what can she do? Everyone is out there killing monsters or solving puzzles or hacking their alchemists. Ans she’s just a plain Jane. But that’s what makes her special. Her powers are probably basic hope lasers and maybe being good at giving speeches. 

So with that out of the way how would the actual session go? Well, I think there’s a lot of fighting. I imagine Kase wants to be the leader being the “Only one capable of it” and he’s not exactly wrong. But he’s also insufferable. So it doesn’t matter that he’s competent because nobody wants to listen to him. The only other options are Luca who everyone also likely can’t deal with for extended periods of time for previously stated reasons; or Niko, who is likely to busy with their own shit to also manage the party. So I think everyone has to meet up and decide that it’s probably best for Kase to be leader and that everyone should just agree to follow him and give him some advice where they can. Kase is probably actually competent. He’s likely a bad leader but an even worse follower. I can imagine him just ignoring anyone else as the leader and going off to do his own thing and fucking shit up. With him as the leader, not causing trouble and everyone else in a kind of, secret alliance I guess, the key players are going to be Odin and Abby. Odin needs to be able to fill his role or everyone dies. Simple as that. Abby needs to a) help him figure his shit out if he can’t on his own. And b) help ground everyone else (So they can solve their problems) and keep some semblance of sanity. If they can, there’s a solid shot at victory. If Odin dies before he can Time travel, well, I guess that’s that. There’s a lot of personal challenges to overcome based on a character’s classpect and I think it really comes down to, are these people/characters capable of growth? 

Hopefully the way I viewed the characters was how you wanted but with so little to go on I might have misinterpreted somethings. Either way this was fun!

[hereisasongiwrote]

I’m Definitely Gonna Do This I Think

 Hi. My name is Jordan and I’m a songwriter.

The internet in unison: “Hi, Jordan.”

Writing music has been a huge part of my life since I was around 14 but a lot of people who know me now don’t really know that. That’s probably because I don’t really talk about it. It’s not something that often comes up in conversation. I sure as hell won’t bring it up.

Every now and then a friend will be visiting and they’ll see a guitar and a keyboard in the corner of my office and they’ll ask: “do you play?” and my go-to response is always: “I dabble.”  But I don’t fucking dabble. I write and record songs. I have recorded hundreds and hundreds of songs. But only a handful of friends and family know that. And even the people who do know, haven’t heard more than 5% of it.

And lately I’ve been struggling with why that is.

Is it because deep down I don’t truly believe I am a musician or a songwriter and by saying it out loud it opens me up to being ousted as a fraud?

Is it because I fear that by declaring myself a musician I’ll be forced to “prove it”? Like a comedian going to a dinner party and being pressured to stand up and “be funny?”

Or is it because I’m too lazy or busy to put the time and effort into being a “proper” musician, so I don’t feel like I deserve to call myself that? It would be like declaring myself a chef even though I just cook at home. And only when I’m alone. And I don’t let anyone taste it.

But it wasn’t always that way. When I was younger, I wore my “musician status” with pride. I was lead singer of a metal band in high school and college called Ampallang and we played shows at The Opera House and the Katherdral in Toronto (I shed a tear every time I see the Crate and Barrel where the Kathedral used to be) and we played sold out shows opening up for The Trews and Robin Black and the Intergalactic Rock Stars. It was fun. I miss those days and those guys.

Every party I was at where there was also a guitar in reach, I would grab it and sing whatever Smashing Pumpkins or Radiohead song I was learning at the time, and would sometimes even bang out an original or two.

And when I moved to Toronto in 2005, one of the first things I did after starting my job at a record store was declare to a co-worker that I was a musician. Within a week I was playing bass in a band called The Great Awake and we had our first show booked at Sneaky Dees.

Music was my life.

And then at some time around 2008 or so, it kinda…stopped being my life. As soon as I started taking my career in television seriously, I stopped being available to practice with my band Rabbit Season on a regular basis. I started working nights so playing gigs was impossible, and when I had a day off when I wasn’t sleeping all day it became less appealing to lug all my gear to a rehearsal space and write songs with a group of guys who I was convinced resented me for my constant absence anyways.

It didn’t make money. It became a hobby. It stopped becoming important.

But that’s not to say that I haven’t tried a couple of times to make it important again. I tried starting a band in around 2010 with a few friends, but after writing about a dozen songs and having 6 or 7 rehearsals it just fizzled out. I started doubting my abilities as a lead singer and a guitarist, and it was getting tough to dedicate one of my only days off to something I wasn’t super confident with.

In 2012 I had five weeks off between contracts so I said “You know what? I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna record a solo album”. And I did. I recorded and mixed a 13 song album in just under two months. I started playing the odd song to friends and family and even though some had very nice things to say, a couple of them didn’t. I got some rather harsh feedback from some people who were close to me. And I panicked. I couldn’t take it. I shelved it.

But…it’s my fault. Creators need to have thick skin. When you present your art to the world you are going to get feedback. And some of it will be bad. But, for some reason when I got older I stopped being able to take criticism. I started to believe the friends who didn’t love the music I was making. (As if a song needs to be everything to everyone) I started to believe the family members who started mockingly singing one of my songs during dinner because they thought that would be funny.

I started to feel that I should be embarrassed for being a guy in his 30s who was recording and releasing music. Like I was having a mid-life crisis. Like I was Ross from Friends with his keyboard, embarrassing himself for trying to recreate a childhood passion.

But the fact is – I just like writing music. I don’t expect to sell out stadiums when I put a song on Soundcloud. I’m not hoping to go on tour and have people scream and throw undergarments at me – or whatever other cliché pops into your head when you picture a “rock star”. I just write music. Like some people journal or some people make bracelets or some people bake.

I’m in a band now with my friend Dave called Terms & Conditions. We have a few songs up on Soundcloud, one on Spotify and about 20 others in different stages of completion. I’m very proud of the work that we’re doing, but I’m still really afraid to post songs and ask people to listen to them. And I want that to change.

It’s scary as hell to say: “here is a song I wrote”. But it’s even scarier to say “I’ve written hundreds of songs in my life that no one will ever hear because I’m afraid they will think it sucks.”

I recently went back and found tapes with 130 songs I wrote back when I was in high school. And you know what? Some of them DO SUCK REALLY, REALLY BAD. My voice is awful. My guitar is completely out of tune. My lyrics are the worst kind of emotional “sad boy in high school” crap imaginable.   But there are some others that are fucking beautiful. And almost no one has heard them.

I reconnected with a couple of old friends recently. Both of them commented on my new project Terms & Conditions and said things along the lines of “I’m so glad you’re making music again. You’ve always been really good it.”

Have I? Shit. Maybe I have. Maybe I’ve been letting the wrong voices in this whole time?

So – with all that being said, I’m going to do something that scares the crap out of me. I’m going to post a new song from my past every week or so on this page and on Soundcloud. Some are from 20 years ago. Some are from maybe two months ago. Maybe not a single person will care. But, at least I can stop saying: “I’ve written hundreds of songs in my life that no one will ever hear because I’m afraid they will think it sucks.”

Instead I’ll say:

Here is a song I wrote.

What’s the worst that can actually happen?

[solarianradiance]

Jellyatinous Rose

Calliope: Welcome lovelies, to oUr little get together for an adventure throUgh the Use of a Role-Playing Game system called DUngeons & Dragons! Tonight we have a new player joining in oUr dUngeon delving, oUr lovely friend, Roxy.

Roxy: hey erebody, its ur gurl roxy!

Dave: hey rox

Rose: Welcome to the game Roxy, nice to see you came tonight~

Kanaya: Pleasure To Have You Dear Roxy!

Jade: nice to see you again!

John: glad you could make it tonight!

Roxy: tnx 4 the warm welcum gaiz, makes me feel good bout this venture here

Roxy: so, when do we start playin?

Calliope: Shortlym bUtt first, we shall introdUce oUr varioUs party members for the road ahead, so that we may give oUr newest addition a chance to Understand her new chUms? Jade, why dont we start with yoU?

Jade: ok!

Jade: im a level 5 chaotic good gnoll ranger called groche’a, and i was ousted from my tribe for not wanting to plunder tombs for bones because i was scared of waking the dead and having them get revenge on us... which they did! im the only survivor!

Roxy: wats a goll? Roxy: *gnoll

Jade: a gnoll is a dog person

Jade: like this!

Roxy: oh so ur a hyna furry basically then?

Jade: well no, im more like a malamute husky, i actually based my character off of bec and what jake told me about my scratched other self

Roxy: yeah, ur gilf self was pretty smokin for an old lady, so i can c y u chose her

Jade: ...what?

Calliope: Lets keep this train of introdUctions going, Dave YoU’re Up love!

Dave: im dave, and im a barbarian. im a level 4 chaotic good guy i guess, gettin my rage on with my magic shit talking sword and doin all kinds of awesome shit!

Roxy: u men like connan the barbarian?

Dave: no, not liek conan Dave: *like Dave: fuck

Roxy: wats ur backstory?

Dave: im a kickass barbarian, i showed up one day and started kicking ass, what more backstory do you need?

Roxy: that sunds lame

Dave: youre lame

Calliope: Moving on, John, how aboUt we introdUce yoUr character?

John: im Salamon of the Hearthlands, a level 4 neutral good halfling jester!

Roxy: wats a halflin?

John: they’re pretty much just hobbits but a bit more... “earthly” i think would be a good word to describe them? they’re sort more vice than virtue and do things like eat a lot of food, take whats not theirs and breed like rabbits.

Roxy: le gasp, ur a bunny boy! that sounds adorable!

John: heh, no, im not a bunny, but i guess i am bunny-like in that sense

Jade: you know, that would actually be a good fursona for you

John: eh, nah, its not really my thing, besides im more like a tiger

Jade: hahahaha! no you’re not!

John: in fact i think would be more like tigra from thundercats

Jade: i said no. you’re fucking. not.

John: uuuuh!!!

Roxy: calli!

Calliope: Yes Roxy, what is it?

Roxy: can u make jon into a bunny boy?

Calliope: I... can, bUt I need a good reason like a magical invocation or something like that, I cannot simply do as I wish with the players whenever I wish.

Calliope: Besides, the game has not started. Rose, why dont yoU go next?

Rose: 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒶 𝒩𝑒𝓊𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓁 𝐸𝓋𝒾𝓁 𝒟𝓇𝑜𝓌 𝒩𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓇, 𝒞𝓎𝒶𝒾𝓃𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝐻𝑜𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝒢𝓊𝓁’𝒢𝒶𝓃. 𝑀𝓎 𝑀𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇, 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝒾𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶 𝒫𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝐿𝑜𝓁𝓉𝒽, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈, 𝐼 𝓈𝓁𝒶𝓎𝑒𝒹 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓊𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒩𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒸𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓊𝓇𝓇𝑒𝒸𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓈 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝓊𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓉, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝒶𝓈, 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝓁𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓁 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝐻𝑜𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒻𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒶𝓈 𝐼 𝓂𝒶𝒹𝑒 𝒶 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝒸𝒶𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓀𝑒𝑒𝓅𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝓇��𝓂 𝓇𝑜𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜𝑜 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝒸𝓀𝓁𝓎, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓈𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝑒𝓍𝒾𝓁𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓂𝓎 𝒽𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒟𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝐸𝓁𝒻 𝒞𝒾𝓉𝓎, 𝑀𝑒𝓃𝓏𝑜𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓏𝒶𝓃, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓅𝓁𝑜𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓋𝒾𝓉𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓊𝓇𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝒸𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓂 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓊𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒 𝓇𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝐻𝑜𝓊𝓈𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓈𝒾𝒷𝓁𝓎 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝑜𝒻 𝒟𝓇𝑜𝓌𝒹𝑜𝓂~ 

Roxy: ur kinda given me the willies theres rosie

Rose: Hah! Thank you! I try to accentuate the nature of the Dark Elves as much as possible~ I am a Level 5 Necromancer by the way, just so we are clear.

Calliope: That was a nice sUrprise, always good to see dear ole Rose to give Us a performance and bring a little life throUgh characterization. Now, for oUr last member, Kanaya!

Kanaya: Salutations, I Am Mildred Of Baldurs Gate! A Neutral Good Human Cleric Of Lathander. I Am Level Three And I Am Looking Forward To Keeping You Out Of Trouble, As I Am The Primary Healer Of The Group. Though I Can Take A Swing With My Shredder Axe If I Wish, I Can Be More Than Helpful In Most Situations! 

Roxy: i dunno boit that but i think ill be hpy 2 have u round when the magical shit hits the fan! Roxy: *about

Calliope: Well, now that we have oUr standing party’s introdUctions oUt of the way, how aboUt we have Roxy introdUce Us to oUr newest member?!

Roxy: what bout u calli, whats ur character?

Calliope: I am the DUngeon Master, I recant the tale to the party based on the actions and decisions they make. Technically, I am all of the characters that are not part of the party! BUt I do have a rather sUltry lass that i have been meaning to play for a while. When my tenUre as DUngeon Master is Up, I shall pass the responsibility of rUnning the game onto others and break her oUt!

Roxy: rly? what is she? tell me!

Calliope: She isn’t finalized, but shes a YUan-Ti Magician, specifically an assistant. Haven’t qUite figUred oUt if shes a fUll-blood or a half-blood.

Roxy: a yankee?

Calliope: A YUan-Ti is more or less a snake person, mUch like myself I sUppose. I’ll admit shes a bit of a self-insert, bUt I made her for immersion for flarping. John helped me in crafting her!

Roxy: oh... he did now, did he?

John: yeah! it was actually pretty fun! learning about the lore of the snake people was kinda neat!

Calliope: Indeed! And in retUrn, helped John create another character to pair alongside with her! He is also a Magician, and she acts as his assistant!

Roxy: assistant huh? does that mean you can make his magic wand

Roxy: disappear?!~♥

John: whoa! roxy!

Calliope: Making a Magicians Magic Wand disappear is childs play.

John: uh calli, thats not what she mea-

Calliope: BUt making his wand spit magical glowing seed, now thats the magic~

Calliope: Mwah!~♥

Dave: whoa-ho, damn!

Rose: Ooo, how racey~

Kanaya: I Must Admit, That Got Quite Raunchy Awfully Quickly!

Jade: you can do that?!

John: ok! moving on! time for your introduction rox, before this turns into a smut campaign.

Roxy: how do u know that it wont turn into 1 when i do get my intro on? ;)

John: rox!

Roxy: relax! im jus teasin y Roxy: *u

Roxy: ok, my character is xerox gundalf the pink! shes a level 1 chotic good gun wizard!

John: gun wizard?! that actually sounds cool!

Jade: that actually sound cool, maybe ill roll one next campaign!

Dave: gotta admit, that does sound pretty bitchin rp as

Rose: Um, Roxy, as creative as that is, “Gun Wizard” isnt a valid class within the ruleset of DnD.

Roxy: wat? naaah, its fine! got xeroxs character shit filled out and everything! even drew her!

Roxy: c? kickass sex witch! put a spell on u make u her enchanted slav! put a magic bullet in ur butt and set her enemies on fire! abraka-sexbang!!

Rose: But we already have a Wizardess! Why don’t you be another class, a legal one such as a Rogue or a Thief?

Roxy: those dont sound legal 2 me sister, sides im a rogue in real life! i dont wanna play a rogue i wanna b a badass gun wizard! calli help me out here

Calliope: Mmmmm, well, while technically “GUn Wizards” are not what they are called, “GUn Mages” are in fact an actUal class! So I sUppose thats no significant issUe

Roxy: gasp YAYS!

Rose: Wait, “Gun Mage” is an actual class?

Calliope: Why yes, it is! QUite the interesting one too, might even roll a character to play as one myself at some point!

Rose: Well, anyways, as I said, we already have a Wizardess, which is myself. So how about you roll Up a Rogue? John can moonlight as one, but he isnt able to specialize as one. Here, lemme just get you started and roll you a character right now!

Roxy: uh, no, imma play a wizard!

Rose: We’ll make her Neutral Good, for maximum opportunity while still being approachable. Some good Dexterity for all of that lockpicking you’ll be doing.

Roxy: rose, water u doin?

Rose: Dump all the skill points into stealth, traps, and lockpicking!

Roxy: ross! Roxy:*rose

John: you know i could just spec into those skills myself, i was planning on doing it anyways!

Rose: We can make her pink, with some blue trimmings~

Roxy: stahp!

*Roxy latches onto Rose’s pen hand, preventing her from drawing further. The two devolve into a bit of a struggle*

Rose: Stop... getting... in the... way, Roxy!

Jade: you do know you can multi-class in this game, right? as in you both can have both.

Roxy: well i don.. wann play... fuckin rogue, i wan be... a wizard of bullets!

Rose: We need a Rogue to-*is bitten*-FUCK! ROXY!

Kanaya: What Is Happening?

*Roxy and Rose devolve to a mother/daughter/sister squabble between petty bitches who both want the same thing, but are unwilling to share, complete with hair pulling, bites, scratches, clothes ripping and an assortment of name calling.*

*Its a good ole fashioned cat fight yy’all!*

Jade: shouldnt someone stop this? like kanaya, isnt this your thing?

Kanaya: ...I... Want To, But I Think I Am Enjoying The Sight Of This Conflict? Should I Do So Anyways?

Dave: with them? nah man itll sort itself out eventually. just let em get tuckered out.

John: ... roll for initiative?

Calliope: Haa! Hahahaha!

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #178

VM 3x11 Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves

Stray thoughts

1) Okay, all the cuteness and fluff in this opening scene should’ve been a warning sign that this episode wasn’t going to end on a happy note for LoVe, right? I mean, tell me this doesn’t read as a piece of fanfic.

VERONICA: Are you gonna eat that? LOGAN: This? VERONICA: Yeah, that fry in particular. LOGAN: That was the plan. VERONICA: I'm just saying, if you weren't, or if you were just gonna consume it out of obligation or to meet someone else's expectations, I know someone who might be willing to take it off your hands. VERONICA: Maybe add a little ketchup, make it worth a girl's while.

VERONICA: You're welcome.

Of course, I’ve embraced the notion that Rob Thomas is actually writing LoVe fanfiction a long time ago.

2) Ugh, Weevil’s so sad about the Dean’s death. Of course, he is! How many people have actually given a rat’s ass about Weevil? Not that many, and the Dean was one of them.

3) So, Lamb is more of an idiot than I thought. I mean, this is how responds to Keith’s burn…

He doesn’t understand his own sarcastic comment is actually a self-burn? Like, you can actually read his lips (“Oh, fuck”) when he realizes what he just said?

4) “ You're just like the rest of them, aren't you? You just want to use me for my skills and pay me for my time and effort.”

5)

MAX: If you don't find her, I'm taking a bath with my blow-dryer.

6) This is one of Veronica’s traits that always rubs me the wrong way, probably because people mocking others’ interests is a personal pet peeve of mine…

MAX: It was Comic-Con. VERONICA: You didn't get all sweaty in your Wookiee suit, did you? MAX: Yuk it up. You know, it's not all Trekkies and Star Wars nerds. I was there because Dave Gibbons has a new graphic novel that he scripted as well as drew. VERONICA: [sarcastically] Sounds cooler now. 

Get off your high horse, Veronica. There’s nothing uncool about liking stuff. That mentality sucks.

What’s worse, she’s clearly a closet nerd, since she can both deliver and understand geeky references.

7) Now, this is the Veronica I love...

MAX: Have a seat.

VERONICA: No, thanks. It's easier to be nosy if I can mill about.

 8) And I love this little Easter egg...

VERONICA: You know Mac and Parker? This is their room.

MAX: Who?

VERONICA: Uh, this photo.

MAX: No, that's from the around-the-world party. That's my roommate, Brian, and my friend, Fred. I think that room was supposed to be Canada, but it was kind of lame.

9) This is gross on so many levels…

VERONICA: The glass-is-half-full version: Chelsea's not getting married. Max is overjoyed. MAX: Are you serious? VERONICA: Yeah. The half-empty version is...she's a hooker. VERONICA: Brian and Fred, as demented as this sounds, thought you'd have more confidence with girls if you...lost your virginity.

10) And this is something the show did a lot during this season, and I honestly appreciate it:

MAX: Can you still find her?

VERONICA: Um...yes. But she'll still be a prostitute.

MAX: I'm not stupid, Veronica. Okay, we had something. I know it. There's some things you can't fake.

VERONICA: There are some things women are universally known for faking, and this girl is a professional.

MAX: When I dropped her off at the airport, she had tears in her eyes.

VERONICA: Are you sure she wasn't thinking of the cab fare back?

See, Veronica’s fieldwork in the world of P.I. has given her hands-on experience on how seedy and corrupted everyone is. Expecting the worse and jumping to conclusions has become second nature to her. She can’t help it. It doesn’t help that more often than not, her instincts are right. But on occasion, people surprise her and prove her wrong. This will be one of those cases, at least in the sense that Wendy really had feelings for Max. And every time Veronica is proven wrong in her preconceptions, it feels so refreshing because Veronica is judgmental and jaded to a fault. And like Logan told her a few episodes ago, she’s not always right. She still believes she is, though.

It still kind of feels this pattern of Veronica having preconceptions and then being proven wrong was building up to something bigger, you know? Veronica had become more prejudiced and prone to snap judgments at the same time she became more reckless and cocky with her detective work. As the season progresses, her sense of infallibility and almightiness gets stronger. But she is never forced to face the music. I think it would’ve been a great arc if she was.

11) See point 6) above.

VERONICA: That explains why Chelsea was into comic books. Chelsea's a dude.

12) 

13)

KEITH: Will you be home for dinner?

VERONICA: No, I'm meeting two hookers over at Logan's later.

KEITH: On a school night?

VERONICA: Off-peak hours. Save a few bucks.

KEITH: You're not really.

VERONICA: Fiona and Lizette. They're just a couple of gals putting themselves through college. Man, quit bringing me down with your bourgeois hang-ups.

14) This conversation pretty much sums up Logan’s and Veronica’s issues and insecurities as well as their relationship’s shortcomings in this season.

VERONICA: So, have you...ever been with one? LOGAN: An escort? VERONICA: Yeah. LOGAN: Do we really want to go there? VERONICA: I guess we don't have to now. LOGAN: Come on, that wasn't me answering the question. VERONICA: It kinda was. LOGAN: No, it wasn't. That was me knowing there's a land mine and trying to figure out where to put my foot. VERONICA: Well, I guess you picked your spot. Look, why not dispel any romantic notions? If we see each other, warts and all, and still like each other, that's a real connection. LOGAN: Well, maybe I enjoy my romantic notions. Maybe I don't care to see any warts, you know, yours or mine. Now you see, you're smiling, all right, so I think it's all fun and safe, but it's a slippery slope from "Have you ever been" to "How many" and "How often." VERONICA: So you've been with multiple hookers on several occasions. LOGAN: I'm not having this conversation with you.

On the one hand, Veronica claims she wants to know about Logan’s sexual exploits so that they can disregard any “romantic notions” they might have about each other and love each other as they truly are. On paper, that seems like a solid statement. And I’d buy it if she wasn’t prying on Logan’s sexual exploits, to begin with. Veronica has always been terrified of Logan cheating on her, with has more to do with her own insecurities than him giving her actual reasons to suspect him. Other than the one time he “cheated” on Lilly with Yolanda (and I think it’s fair to quote Ross Geller’s “we were on a break” defense,) Logan’s always been faithful. Yes, he does sleep around when he’s single, but when he’s in a relationship with someone he loves? I think Logan would cut his own dick before cheating. Veronica knows this. She’s had first-hand experience on how loyal and faithful Logan can be. And she had a first-row seat to Logan and Lilly’s relationship – he was the cheatee, not the cheater. So the fact that she wants to dig in Logan’s previous sexual relationships has to do with her own insecurities as regards how she won’t measure up to Logan’s former sexual partners. She probably feels inexperienced and inadequate. She might even think he could get bored of having sex with her (I know, she’s delusional! Logan could never get tired of her! NEVER!) And so she’s been restlessly waiting for the other shoe to drop and for Logan to cheat on her pretty much since they started dating.

On the other hand, there’s Logan claim that he’d rather avoid this conversation because it is quite literally a landmine. He’s honest, of course. And right. Nothing he could ever say would satisfy Veronica. And that’s the problem. That’s his own insecurity when it comes to her. But the difference is, his insecurities are well-founded. We already got a glimpse of this when the whole Mercer-and-the-hotel-on-fire thing came up. What frightens Logan more than anything is that he believes he will never be good enough for Veronica. And Veronica, more often than not, makes him feel wanting. So, you see, fessing up about his sleazy past won’t exactly paint him in a boyfriend-material light. Logan’s smarter than that. Moreover, he knows he’ll probably feed Veronica’s mistrust because for some reason she has this internalized misconception that if you are a sexual being, then you’re prone to cheating.

15) 

VERONICA: Sorry, Lizette. Looks like we're gonna have to reschedule. Pay the girl, Max.

LOGAN: If we're paying her anyway...

VERONICA: Honey?

16) Look at this goofus face when the two lovers are finally reunited! You truly believe this guy could cheat?

17) Ugh, and then…

To Logan’s credit, he didn’t even bat an eye when she showed up. But then…

VERONICA: No, Madison is pretty much the physical embodiment of all things I loathe. If Dick starts dating her again, you're gonna need to get a different roommate.

He can’t look her in the eye because he knows, he knows what her reaction is going to be once she finds out he slept with Madison (even if they weren’t together when he did…)

18) I fucking love this moment…

The way Keith just looks at her like actually taking note of her advice? It kills me.

19) Favorite!

20) 

WENDY: Oh, my God. Thank you. That's the thing about being a working girl. Easy to break into, not so easy to get out of. It's not like I'm one of the big earners, but I have this client, a judge. VERONICA: Ooh, a judge? Which one? WENDY: Cramer. VERONICA: No freaking way! My dad busted him for taking bribes, and the old bastard still got re-elected. WENDY: He is the kinkiest out of all my clients. No sex, he just likes to sneak me into his office at the courthouse. All he wants to do is have tickle fights and walk around in my shoes.

And while Veronica is delighted with this piece of information, Max is…

…the opposite of delighted?

21) “For what little it's worth, I was totally wrong. You and Wendy do have something. You two are great together, and I'm sorry. And this just plain sucks.” You see? How nice is it to hear Veronica admitting she wasn’t right?

But, of course, literally one minute later…

VERONICA: It's purple makeup. The bruise was a fake. You've been had. They duped you. Nicki didn't get worked over by her pimp. She and Wendy just conned you out of a grand. MAX: That's crazy. VERONICA: Crazy? She screws people for money, Max. That's what she does. VERONICA: I'm sorry. That wasn't- MAX: No, I'm an idiot. VERONICA: You're not. From where I stand, Wendy's the idiot. And now we must crush her.

No evidence other than the stained cloth and yet she thinks she’s figured it all out. And she’s ready for payback. Ugh, I wish they would’ve gone somewhere with this pattern of behavior!

22) You see what I mean?!

LOGAN: This is a bad idea.

VERONICA: It's blackmail. It's the go-to idea. In case of emergency, break glass or blackmail.

LOGAN: Uh, excuse me if I can't get jazzed about my girlfriend extorting a judge.

VERONICA: Look, I'm not doing a back handspring about it either, but I'm getting Max his thousand dollars back, and I'm taking away Wendy's best client. It works on so many levels.

MAX: You don't have to do this.

Like, even Max tells her she doesn’t have to do this. And she ploughes ahead

23) And, let’s be honest, she gets off on it…

VERONICA: I can't believe I had to blackmail a judge just to get some alone time with you.

24)

VERONICA: But seriously, folks... have you? LOGAN: What? Ever been with a hooker? Why does it matter? VERONICA: I just want to know. I assume the answer is yes. Look at it as an opportunity for me to show you how cool I can be. "Hooker? Who cares?" LOGAN: Well, here's your chance to be cool. Stop asking. VERONICA: I just want to get to a place with you where we can be really... intimate. LOGAN: That's what the female praying mantis says before she bites the male's head off. VERONICA: I'm just saying, buried secrets tend to surface when I'm around. LOGAN: Maybe that's because of all the digging, huh? VERONICA: I'm giving you the chance right now to come clean. You tell all. I tell all. Go from there. LOGAN: Hm, fine. Ask away. Ask anything you want. VERONICA: Have you ever been with a hooker? LOGAN: No.

She’s giving him a chance to “come clean” as if he’s committed some sort of crime. And she can’t help her smile when he confesses he’s never been with a prostitute.

25) So was he talking about the beach girl or Madison? Or, possibly, both. 

VERONICA: Were you with anyone while we were broken up? LOGAN: Landmine. I fooled around with this horrible girl who meant less than nothing to me, and I couldn't regret it more. Thinking of it makes me ill. So, there. Presto. Intimacy. Still love me? VERONICA: Yes.

26) You see Veronica? You’re not invincible…

27) 

VERONICA: You just handed over a hundred hundred dollar bills.

MAX: Yeah, I was there.

VERONICA: And what guarantee do you have that-

28) To be honest, I love how Weevil treats Wendy in this scene. Like, no judgment at all! He’s just happy to see someone he knows and wants to say hello! You’re cool beans, Weevs.

WEEVIL: Hey, I-I know you.

VERONICA: Weevil, this is Wendy.

WEEVIL: Fiona, right?

WEEVIL: You used to dance at the Electric Lady. My buddy was a bouncer up there.

WENDY: You must be thinking of someone else.

WEEVIL: No, I don't think so. You have a tattoo, red dragon, left cheek. Am I right?

29) Okay, so that lasted as long as a un pedo en una canasta. (sorry, I like this idiomatic expression in Spanish and I’m not even trying to translate it.)

MAX: "The-the day we met was one of the best days of my life. I-I fell for you that day, but you didn't know what I was then, and now you do and it shows in the way you look at me. It shows in the way you touch me but I'll never regret it. You made me realise what I was missing. Love, Wendy."

30) UGH UGH UGH…

MADISON: Oh, Logan and I hooked up in Aspen over the holidays. I guess you two were split, huh? I was in town and thought he might have some free time, but, oh, well. Oh, and, as a friend, he's not so big on the one-piece numbers.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 21st July 2019

Top 10

To my surprise, although Ed Sheeran did replace Shawn Mendes at #1, it’s not “I Don’t Care”. In fact, I didn’t expect a single Ed Sheeran debut, I just thought it’d be the three singles since Ed had ran himself into  a corner by releasing all these singles, none of which would end up in the chart due to pointless UK chart rules. That’s not the case here. First of all, the #1 here is up two spaces from last week, because it’s “Beautiful People” featuring Khalid, which isn’t what I expected but is understandable. It’s a lot stronger than “Cross Me” and had a video, hell, it’s the album opener. This also means it’s Khalid’s second #1, which is disappointing as it means both of his biggest British hits are pretty bad. Eh, it’s Sheeran’s seventh and I’m sure no one’s really complaining, it’s not a song I can imagine causing many strong reactions on either side, much like the rest of that album.

That means that down a spot to number-two is “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello, which I don’t care for anyway, it had its one week in the spotlight and it might rebound next week.

Now at number-three, it’s “Take Me Back to London”, a debut from Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy, becoming Ed’s 24th Top 10 hit here in the UK (Or something close to that number, he has a lot), Stormzy’s seventh, and Kenny Beats’ first. Yeah, more on that later.

Speaking of Ed Sheeran, you’d think “Cross Me” would be gone, right? It’s the one single released that obviously underperformed at least on Ed Sheeran in Britain standards. Yet at number-four, we have Ed Sheeran with “Cross Me” featuring Chance the Rapper and by technicality PNB Rock, up four spots from last week. Yeah, once again, more on that later.

Okay, so that’s all the Ed Sheeran for now. There seems to be a pretty interesting shake-up here in the top 20, and that doesn’t start with number-five, which is Lewis Capaldi’s “Hold Me While You Wait” down one space.

That does, however, start at number-six, as we have AJ Tracey’s second UK Top 10 hit and his highest ever peaking song, “Ladbroke Grove”, up six from last week, and I’m ecstatic, this song is amazing.

Sadly, he’s bought MIST’s highest ever peaking song with him, “So High” with Fredo, becoming MIST’s first ever UK Top 10 and Fredo’s second, because of a four-spot increase off the debut last week to number-seven, and I couldn’t care less. This song is probably the most non-descript attempt at fusing British trap with R&B I’ve ever heard debut on the chart, and that’s even with its interesting mid-2000s UK garage-like vocal sample, which “Ladbroke Grove” pulls off incredibly well because it actually embraces the throwback, instead of making it a boring trap love song.

“Wish You Well” by Sigala and Becky Hill is up one space to number-eight but Thog don’t care

At the tail end of the Top 10, we have two songs down three spots this week due to what’s happened above them. The first of them is “Crown” by Stormzy at number-nine.

The second of these is at #10, and it’s Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road”, even with the Billy Ray Cyrus, Young Thug, Mason Ramsey and Diplo remixes. Maybe the RM one will push it over the edge but we’ll see.

Climbers

Our first climber is easily the biggest, and probably one of the biggest we’ve seen all year, and it’s “Location” by Dave featuring Burna Boy up a seldom-seen 25 positions, landing at #13, mostly thanks to a music video finally being released that went pretty viral because of its inclusion of Stormzy as a cameo. Elsewhere, “bad guy” by Billie Eilish has gone up seven spaces to #16 thanks to the awful Justin Bieber remix, right next to Kygo’s remix of a Japanese deluxe Whitney Houston deep cut “Higher Love” entering the top 20 at #17, up nine spaces from last week. This means it’s Kygo’s fifth UK Top 20 hit and Houston’s twenty-ninth (Her first posthumous top 20). “Castles” by Freya Ridings is up eight spaces off the debut to #26 and I’m not complaining, it’s a pretty good song, and that’s all we’ve got this week.

Fallers

First of all, we have a pretty harsh drop for “Goodbyes” by Post Malone and Young Thug down seven spaces off the debut to #12, which is unfortunate since I love that song, but we’ll see how it does in the coming weeks. Elsewhere, “Never Really Over” by Katy Perry is down six to #22, “SOS” by the late Avicii featuring Aloe Blacc is down eight spots to #23, “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy is down six to #24 and that chain ends with Chris Brown’s “No Guidance” featuring Drake down nine spaces to #25. Speaking of Drake, “Money in the Grave” featuring Rick Ross is down seven spots to #29. Little Mix continue to flop with their latest single “Bounce Back” collapsing down another seven positions to #34, which is the same damage done to “Mother’s Daughter” by Miley Cyrus at #36, and that’s all for the fallers.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The most interesting dropout here is obviously “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber dropping out the chart entirely from #2. It’s been on the chart for weeks on end, with all but its last week spent at #1, meaning it would have probably had a streaming cut, leaving it open to being replaced by another single from Sheeran’s album, which is what happened, despite the fact that if it hadn’t had that streaming cut, there wouldn’t be any impact of Sheeran’s album on the charts, which is pretty funny to me. It does say which one of these dumb chart rules they prioritise though, it evidences that the amount of chart points is decided and calculated way before, probably in the midweek, that they finalise the placements and look over the rules, deciding which one goes, which one stays, especially in massive weeks such as the week of an Ed Sheeran album release. Other drop-outs include “Thiago Silva” by Dave and AJ Tracey out off the debut from #36, “OT Bop” by NSG out from #39 after a decent chart run, “Kilos” by Bugzy Malone and Aitch from #40, and if you want to know where it is currently on the Top 100, it’s at #50, meaning it’s lost 10 chart positions every week it’s been on the chart since its debut at #20 for three weeks. That’s one of those sweet pointless chart facts I love. We have no returning entries, so let’s get into our mixed bag of new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Ritual” – Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Rita Ora

Produced by Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Stonebank – Peaked at #1 in Latvia

Despite being billed as a Tiesto and Jonas Blue song first, it was promoted very much so to be Rita Ora’s next lead single from her upcoming album, starting another unnecessarily long album cycle from the pop starlet that I’ve become used to following for no good reason. It was even solely performed by Rita Ora at a football charity event here in the UK, so there was a lot of promo backing it, and if Rita Ora got the top billing I feel that it’d here in the top 40 much quicker, but that’s just a theory. I’m prepared for another bland vaguely tropical EDM effort with weak, unmemorable drops and a vocal performance that is just decent enough to pass. It’s Tiesto’s thirteenth UK Top 40 hit, Jonas Blue’s ninth and Ora’s 21st(!), and I’m absolutely right, this is completely non-descript. The calm synth pluck acts like a guitar (Yep, they can’t even get a guitar plug-in or loop for this one), with Rita Ora providing oddly breathy vocals that seem very much out of her comfort zone, with filler lines and lyrics that are not even close to coherent sentences. It seems like this is a sex song with Ora’s inflections and lyrical content but it does not sound like it. If you want to get down to the end credits of a 2013 blockbuster comedy film, then sure, have your fun, I’m not going to kink shame you, but this doesn’t work at all. There’s so much empty space in the instrumental, which at a slower tempo would be very fitting for the content but it’s way too fast, and Ora’s singing is mixed perfectly; by that I mean you can barely hear her a lot of the time and hence you won’t pick up on how the lyrics have no relation to the dance beat. Oh, and that drop is kind of pathetic, not particularly bad but it’s very much a non-drop, despite its catchiness. The outro vocal is pitchy and really hard to listen to, as well. This could definitely use a lot more work, maybe get another singer, change the lyrics to some bland inspirational fluff, and you’ve got somewhat of a bearable Avicii rip-off. Otherwise, no, this is nothing special.

#37 – “Love of My Life” – Remedee featuring Not3s and Young Adz

Produced by Remedee

So, Young Adz seems to be the Swae Lee break-out of D-Block Europe. Delightful. Now, Remedee is a British hip-hop producer who might have been behind a lot of the UK trap hits we’ve seen on this show, such as... uh... nevermind, but he has been racking up some deep cuts and songs that never got the buzz to chart. This is his first as a credited artist to reach the UK Top 40, but we’re already familiar with the other guys. Not3s and Young Adz are very much the British equivalent to A Boogie wit da Hoodie, Lil Tjay and Polo G, those American bubbling-under-status trap “rappers” who prefer to croon about love in a trash heap of Auto-Tune than to spit any bars, and sometimes they even sound or look similar, it’s kind of jarring. I don’t like either of them, but Not3s has never been too awful to me, while Young Adz often proves himself as a waste of time. This is Not3s’ fifth venture into the UK top 40, and Young Adz’ first ever as a credited solo artist outside of D-Block Europe, but in total, this would be his fourth. Wow, how was I not expecting anything and I’m still let down? So, this is a love song, and both Young Adz and Not3s don’t care, with less noticeable Auto-Tune than usual, but the lyrics aren’t any more subtle, and the blunt vocal delivery makes them even more painful. Certain British rappers can make this charming, like Dave or even Tion Wayne and the guys from NSG, but these guys have no charismas or energy, referencing their older viral songs and going into frankly gross detail over this non-existent synth-lead beat, which immediately isn’t all that bad, about their encounter with this woman... or maybe it’s not a woman. Honestly, I’m confused. The lyrics are mostly about drug use, especially in the chorus, and Adz here tries to make a connection between that and love.

Lean, lean, lean, love of my life / Baby girl, I’m trying to f*** you tonight

Okay, first of all, that is disgusting, careless and frankly unacceptable glamorisation of lean, which kills, we should know cough syrup is dangerous at this point, it’s been more than a decade since Pimp C and DJ Screw, pioneers of the use of lean in hip hop culture and music, fell ill to their own signature, we should know better. Also, how do you have sex with cough syrup? Never mind, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. It could get pretty messy. Anyway, since it’s Young Adz, any other dumb lyrical moments?

Do a magic trick, she said, “Darling, what’d you mean?”

Good question, what is this magic trick? Is it having sex with cough syrup, specifically in the kitchen? That’s what’s implied if not explicitly stated in the one verse where Not3s, putting in no effort, trades bars with Adz. Oh, and the Adz:Not3s ratio is disproportional to their talent, I should add. At least with D-Block Europe songs, I usually have something more to say.

#18 – “I Spy” – Krept & Konan featuring Headie One and K-Trap

Produced by BKay

Speaking of songs I have nothing to say for, this song is kind of passable, barely, I guess. It’s Krept & Konan’s third UK Top 40 hit (Their second Top 20), Headie One’s second (Their second Top 20) and K-Trap’s first ever charting single, and it’s pretty damn boring. The beat is made up of a dry chopped up vocal sample, with cheap trap percussion, and by cheap, I mean really cheap, distorted and badly mixed, and nobody really brings their D-game yet alone A-game here. Krept rapping “Suck your mother” in that serious tone of voice and then repeating what I just said in a simpler fashion is pretty funny, but I’m not sure if that’s intentional. Konan doesn’t really have interesting wordplay – when the beat is this bare, you need to bring something – but he and K-Trap at least have a lot of energy when they trade bars. I’m questioning how you have sex with twin sisters “for the win” though. Krept is pretty funny actually, using gang members’ friends names as an excuse for a Looney Tunes pun that isn’t on Genius because it’s just in the ad-libs, bringing some nice Jack Daniels wordplay, and quite literally saying “Suck your mum” in Portuguese... then claiming he said it in Spanish, which is a “Keep it 300 like the Romans” level of embracing an obvious inaccuracy and is honestly kind of precious. He also brags about he and Konan’s dessert shop, ”Crepes and Cones”, because of course he does, and I really hope that exists thinking about it. Krept definitely has the best verse here, but the transition to Headie One shows a stupidly distant shift in quality. Headie just pretty much repeats lyrics we already heard from Konan and K-Trap earlier with less energy than them, making him pretty useless. The hook comes in again and plays twice to fill up time, and the only question I have is why the hell is this four minutes and 33 seconds? It runs for nearly a straight five minutes, a lot of that either being just the beat or just the hook, and the whole song somehow feels like it runs for double that, it really is that much of a slog. Yeah, I’m not digging this at all, I’ve heard better from Krept & Konan, and I’m slightly worried now about that second album.

#3 – “Take Me Back to London” – Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy

Produced by Skrillex, Kenny Beats and Fred Gibson

I tweeted about what an odd collaboration this was: acoustic folk pop singer-songwriter turned tropical popstar Ed Sheeran featuring rap verses from gospel-influenced UK grime rapper Stormzy, with production from the mop-haired poster child of dubstep, in collaboration with full-time police officer and part-time hip-hop producer Kenny Beats, and Kenny happened to actually like that tweet, probably because this all somehow fits together decently well, mostly because everyone but Stormzy is watered down to an overly safe extent, much like the rest of the disposable album, No. 6 Collaborations Project, that is attached to this single, which is mostly compiled of accessible,ahem white, versions of urban R&B and hip hop music that were given cosigns from the artists they’re ripping off for the sake of a pay check. Songs like “Antisocial” with Travis Scott demonstrate that perfectly, but this one shows that even Ed Sheeran isn’t himself, pretty much refusing to properly sing or belt on the chorus, instead going for a rap-sing flow that would be charming if it was sloppily sung by either Stormzy or really anyone who can pull that off, hell, I’d be quicker to pass the hook to Lil B than Ed Sheeran, but since Ed sounds as manufactured and perfect as he could possibly be, it just sounds pretty lazy. Straight off the bat, you cannot tell Kenny Beats had any involvement in this, he doesn’t even get a “Whoa, Kenny!” tag, and it’s barely a Skrillex one either, I guess the elevated strings sound reminiscent of Skrillex’s more recent tropical house work. Stormzy kills it, and I love his ad-libs when Ed is rapping, wait, yes, let’s tackle that. Ed raps here and it sounds a tad cringeworthy a lot of the time, but I feel that’s because he feels the need to mention he’s not a rapper and he sounds a lot more multi-tracked when compared to Stormzy, who is recorded as just one take. I’d like to hear a more raw Ed performance on grime some day, even his older hip-hop stuff has this same issue. All that said, that hook is insanely catchy and both of them have pretty great rhyme schemes, with rapid flows that are invigorating and somehow, the collaboration between Skrillex, Stormzy, Ed Sheeran and the police ends up sounding pretty cool, if anything.

Conclusion

Now there can’t be an Honourable Mention because nothing here is all that great, or even good, but Best of the Week is going to Ed Sheeran and Stormzy for “Take Me Back to London”, surprisingly, I thought it’d end up a trainwreck. Dishonourable Mention is technically a seven-way tie this week, going to Krept & Konan, Headie One, K-Trap, Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Rita Ora for “I Spy” and “Ritual”, one facing the crime of being dull and the other doing the time for falling flat on its face in whatever mood it was trying to create. Oh, and because it’s Young Adz, Worst of the Week goes to Remedee and Not3s for “Love of My Life”. That single really is pathetic in every way possible. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!

[dwtsreviewarchive]

DWTS S24 Week 10 FINALS Recap / Review

Recaps [HERE]

I think we’ve said everything we could about these 3, we know everything we need to know, we’re rooting for who we’re rooting for. I don’t really think this week’s dances will change what I think will be the outcome to much, unless someone someone literally falls on their face or sets the place on fire. It’s really just a countdown to the results. I think Dave is pretty much a lock for 3rd. As much as I think Normani has the edge, Rashad is immeasurably close competition. Neither outcome would surprise me. But Normani has been so fire from Week 1 without few down weeks if any. I hope it's not a Katherine Jenkins / Zendaya situation.. idkkk

1. David Ross & Linday Arnold 

Redemption Dance: Vienesse Waltz (8+8+8=33) David is absolutely the most improved celeb this season. Compared to Week, he has a lot more control over his movements, the transitions & Lindsay. It was a sweet earnest dance, he is still heavy footed but who cares at this point.. lolol

Freestyle: (10+10+10+10=40) David & Lindsay's freestyle is just a big Cubs version of their fun high energy hip hop influenced dances. ..Again won't change a damn thing but on brand, which is pure joy & fun.

SN: It’s nice when likable people like David make it a lot further than anyone ever expected over “sure things” like Simone Biles or maybe even Candace Cameron Bure over Amy Purdy, because they are what the show was initially supposed to be about. BUT the show is truthfully never about that once the finale hits, because it’s really about top dog eats top top dog. In this case Normani vs. Rashad. What I’m taking forever to say is, while it seems like it’s noble that weaker dancers advance this far, it’s really stripped away when they’re standing next to such obvious forces like Rashad & Normani, & they are destined for 3rd place. As Len basically said to Bonner, don’t overstay your welcome. The longer Bonner went on the worse he looked. As much as I like David, it would’ve been nice to see a final 3 that is competition from top to bottom (S23 is actually a rare example) because that’s really what it boils down to anyway. 3rd place just becomes a throw away situation.

This is just a side thought, not a criticism of David & Lindsay

2. Normani Kordei & Val Chmerkovskiy

Redemption - Quickstep (10+9+10+10=39) I don’t even remember Normani & Val’s first quickstep that could be commentary on the dance itself or my own memory. Heck I barely remember Erika Jayne competing this season. This was a FAST quickstep. Truthfully, as much as I loved this dance, I think it was too fast. The minute I saw the lack of body contact & (kinda messy) swinging kick turns, I knew Len would call it out for being hectic. I would watch it again tho, which in-itself is an improvement over the first one.

Freestyle (10+10+10+10=40) Yessss, this dance is so beautiful in the purest & most earnest way. The kids were a nice touch without feeling like a gimmick. Normani & Val's freestyle is such welcome change from the "emotional" contemporary freestyle that all start too look alike. It's hard too make "emotional" freestyles stand out & not seem cheesy, boring or repetitive without going too big & over the top to be noticed but they did it. They really could have a went a variety of ways for this dance, 

I wonder after seeing Rashad & Emma’s freestyle if the tone will hurt or help. They’re both perfect in completely different ways.

3. Rashad Jennings & Emma Slater 

Redemption - Viennese Waltz (10+10+10+10=40) Rashad easily had the most improved dance this round. His footing & partnering was stronger & more grounded. 

Freestyle (10+10+10+10=40) Something told me Rashad might “Donald Driver”, Normani & Val. Meaning produce a spectacle freestyle while the others focused more on dancing. Donald & Peta won S14 over Katherine Jenkins & Mark Ballas after a cowboy freestyle, & it shifted the outcome possibly. Katherine & Mark bested the competition the entire season, 10′s on 9′s on 10′s but their freestyle was perfect but maybe predictable & he won. I wonder if Rashad might have done same thing. The difference thought is Rashad is a better dancer & his freestyle had a lot more dancing in than Donald’s. His freestyle was truly that, fun, big, loud, he was front & center hitting every move with flair.  If Normani does have the edge, his freestyle is the only thing that could shift gears. 

Recaps [Here]

What did you think of the freestyles? How do you think the final 3 will place after seeing the freestyles?

[americanahighways]

Billy Strings Streaming Tour 2020 — photos by Jesse Faatz Photography;

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Billy Strings continued the 2020 Streaming Strings tour Wednesday night, sliding into a new venue, this time, the City Winery in Nashville. Having played two shows at the Station Inn, and prior to that, two more at the Brooklyn Bowl, it would seem that Apostol and his merry band of pickers have basically owned Nashville the past week. The music has been furiously inspired and the assembled special guests have simply been out of sight. This is one of the most fascinating bands in any genre right now to my way of thinking. For sure, they’re one of the most innovative and clever bands playing, and their ability to play this caliber music night after night is just insane to think about. Despite months off the road, it really seems the band has gelled back together rather effortlessly, and through these livestreams, given us an opportunity to watch it happen. So, lets take a look at the shows from the City Winery.

Wednesday night had the boys well rested (I assume), and roaring to go. On Monday night, Apostl had returned the favor to his friend, and sat in with Marcus King’s band for a couple of songs. With the venue change, there was also a different stream. Tonight’s streaming provider moved over to Nugs, and with an archive of shows under their belt, Hopes were high. Unfortunately, I had difficulties connecting, and missed the opening “I’m Still Here,” coming in after the segue into “Last Train to Clarksville> “Running.” Almost immediately, it was apparent there wasn’t an ounce of momentum lost from the days off. “Everything’s the Same” was a barely contained fire, threatening, but curiously kind of restrained. The foundations of the songs and the solos were tight, and the jams transitioning between certainly were spacey, but they were also noticeably structured. Things seem somewhat reminiscent to the last night at the Station Inn. Best part for me through the first set was watching Jarrod Walker pickin’ that mandolin like a madman all over the place. Just check out “There Is a Time” and Leftover Salmon’s “Down In The Hollow.” Even better, we’ve even seen Royal Masset rumble out a turn in the solo rotation during “Doing Things Right.” Together, Walker and Massett have seemingly joined forces this evening, carving out a funky piece of real estate all for themselves. Billy throws out a loving nod to his late pal Jeff Austin with cunning “Rundown,” before the set closing “Black Clouds” rolls in, and breaks down into epic status. Billy switches to an electric tone and pushes and nudges the envelope of psychedelia menacingly before handing off the controls to Billy Failing. “Failing” sets the controls for the sun, digging in on that five string banjo like no other. “Failing” is fun to watch, and particularly fun to see evolve. I’ve always been a banjo guy, and Failing is quickly becoming one I look to first to fill that need. The “Black Clouds” was one of my favorite versions to date and one hell of a way to close a first set.

Set two never skips a step, getting underway with“On the Line> ”Train 45.” They’re on tonight, and they know it. Walker got my vote for line of the night following the opening duo of songs by uttering: “Sir, don’t rush the stage”. Get it? Empty venue……anyway. Billy seems to really be enjoying the electric tone tonight, dropping it in prominently through a hot run-through of Widespread Panic’s“All Time Low”>”Midnight on the Highway” (Hot Rize). A nearly perfectly rendered “Sitting Here in Limbo” gives Royal another chance to shine, and ends up being one of my favorite cuts of the night. The traditional “Blue Mule” led to a bold and adventurous “Highway Hypnosis” that still has me thinking about it days later. Joining the festivities tonight, was Fruition’s Mimi Naja. Naja lent her talents for a tetrad of first-time played songs. First, Flatt & Scuggs’ “Don’t This Road Look Rough and Rocky?” then her own “Labor of Love”. Finally, they wrapped up the night with Gillian Welch’s “Caleb Meyer” and another dose of Jeff Austin love with “15 Steps.” A really solid show, start to finish, and a lot of fun.

7/22/2020 Billy Strings City Winery – Nashville, TN Set 1:

I’m Still Here > Last Train to Clarksville > Running > Everything’s the Same There is a Time Down in the Hollow Doin’ Things Right Rundown (Thanks to Jeff Austin) Black Clouds

Set 2: On the Line > Train 45 All Time Low > Midnight on the Highway Sitting Here in Limbo Blue Mule Highway Hypnosis Don’t This Road Look Rough And Rocky (1) Labor of Love (1) Caleb Meyer (1)(2) 15 Steps (1) (1) with Mimi Naja (2) FTP

Night two at the City Winery Nashville blew a bunch of minds, man. It also assuredly broke a few dreams of a no-repeat nine show run. Okay, I admit it, I was kinda bummed when the opening notes of “While I’m Waiting Here ” sounded, but c’mon. First of all, it’s a great song, and besides, what other band, so early in their career, can play 5 shows, 112 songs, at such ridiculous intensity and not have one repeat? I mean, that’s not just impressive, it’s down right nuts! On another note, I again had considered that maybe it wasn’t just “user error.” Apparently there were lots of issues, but like they say, the show must go on. I missed the the opening “Pike County Breakdown,” maybe an estimated five or six minutes of it, depending on how long they jammed out the song, Instead, I came in within the transition into the “How You Feeling Jam.” I probably didn’t miss much, but with this band, you just don’t know, and it’s worth it to absorb every minute you can. The nutty thing is, it’s completely understandable given the circumstances. The situation is fluid friends, with everyone still getting their stage legs under them, the stream providers as well. Still, I hope it gets figured out. But enough about that, we’re staying positive, and why wouldn’t we? Already, it’s apparent that Failing is on point tonight based on some epic early runs. Jim & Jesse’s “Airmail Special” dropped some heavy psychedelia with Billy swapping in that electric tone he was digging the previous night. Next up was that no repeat dream crushing, “While I’m Waiting Here.” Truthfully, it never gave you time to dwell on it, instead drawing you in as it puts on display just how much fun the guys are having tonight. Walker and Massat are steady in their roles, lighting a path for the others, and often times cutting the trail themselves. They’re in good moods, and Billy alludes to just that, comparing it to watching five episodes of Bob Ross. With the repeat barrier removed, they roll out “Long Forgotten Dream” before giving me all kinds of reasons to smile with robust version of the Hunter/Garcia classic “Dire Wolf.” The trippy explorations returned in a fiery “Dust in a Baggie” before “Enough to Leave’s” borders expanded to straddle a line somewhere between bluegrass and jazz. An adventurous “Home of the Red Fox” merged into a bold rollicking “Ole Slewfoot.” Just like that, this might be my favorite first set of the run. I guess we’ll see.

Set two began with a fun extended teas of “Uncle John’s Beard” a rousing “Must Be 7”, and an absolutely beautiful “Wild Horses.” Gordon Lightfoot’s “Cold on the Shoulder” (ala Tony Rice) and Billy’s own “Hollow Heart” were up next, before I got completely caught up in hypnotic spell that was the band’s take on Dylan’s “Señor (Tales of Yankee Power).” Seriously? That just happened? How do you follow that?Well, one sure way is to invite Greensky Bluegrass’ Dave Bruzza onstage. Bruzza dueled a little guitar and lead the band through a trio of Greensky songs, “Letter to Seymour,” an especially memorable “Reverend”as well as “Wings For Wheels.” Dave stuck around for the remainder of the set too, starting with Hartford’s “Get No Better” before all the fellas unleashed a filthy, tease filled “Pyramid Country” that nearly deified belief. Bill Monroe’s “Roll On Buddy” emerged from the other side, and just like that we came back to earth. Can’t wait to see what the Exit/Inn has in store for us Friday and Saturday finally wrapping things up on Sunday at 3rd & Lindsley. We all know that old adage, Never miss a Sunday show!

7/23/2020 Billy Strings City Winery – Nashville, TN

Set 1: Pike County Breakdown > How You Feeling Jam > Airmail Special While I’m Waiting Here Long Forgotten Dream Dire Wolf (1) Dust in a Baggie Enough to Leave Home of the Red Fox > Ole Slewfoot

Set 2:

Uncle John’s Beard (1) Must be Seven Wild Horses Cold on the Shoulder Hollow Heart Señor (Tales of Yankee Power) Letter to Seymour (2) Reverend (2) Wings For Wheels (2) Get No Better (1)(2) Pyramid Country (2)(3)(4)> Roll on Buddy (1) FTP (2) with Dave Bruzza (3) Don’t Lie tease (4) Kerosene tease

Grasping a huge handful of integrity for the traditions, it’s pure joy watching the faces when it’s all clicking. Find more here:  http://www.billystrings.com

I’d like to call out the Billy Strings Setlist page on Facebook. For someone still learning all the songs in the repertoire as well as the history behind them, it’s been a valuable resource and a friendly spot to drop in and research.. Thanks for doing what you do. Additionally, the Billy Strings Fanpage (Official) on Facebook is equally vital, and a fun growing community.

Show Review: Billy Strings Nine-Night Streaming Tour 2020, Part 2 @billystrings #americanamusic #livestreamtour Billy Strings Streaming Tour 2020 -- photos by Jesse Faatz Photography; Billy Strings continued the 2020 Streaming Strings tour Wednesday night, sliding into a new venue, this time, the City Winery in Nashville.

[philippmichelreichold]

#review #scifi Tales of Time and Space, edited by Ross R. Olney

Tales of Time and Space, edited by Ross R. Olney consists of a number of simply plotted little stories by some of science fiction's best. They are simply plotted yet enthralling. Don't know what passes for young adult fiction these days, but these stories fit the bill for me in days gone buy.

10 • Yesterday's Fantasy, Today's Fact-an Introduction • essay by Ross R. Olney

No one has read much science fiction without having been told how imaginative/speculative/science fiction/fantasy foretold most common place advances long before they were made. This may have been the first book I read the idea.

15 • All the Time in the World • (1952) • shortstory by Arthur C. Clarke

Sir Author C. Clarke is best known for "2001: A Space Odyssey", "Childhood's End", and "Rendevous with Rama".

Any offer that sounds too good probably has a catch, and so it is in this story. Say you're a thief by trade and someone offers a million pounds to hire you to clean out a national museum. They offer to lend you a bracelet that accelerates time around you so that you can be in and out in a flash. or a blink of an eye. You'd be a fool not to, right?

A tight little story about the thief's moral qualms. The ending was not surprising. Would have made a good Twilight Zone. It was an episode in the TV series Tales of Tomorrow. It was Clarke's first story adapted to TV.

34 • Puppet Show • (1962) • shortstory by Fredric Brown Fredric Brown also wrote "Arena", the story the Star Trek (TOS) episode of the same name was/wasn't based on. First contacts can be dicey. Say you're assigned by a vast Galactic Federation to evaluate Earth in general and the United States in particular. What questions would you ask and what assurances would you make? And what sort of tests would you perform? And what is a "master race" anyway? A pointy little story about ethnocentrism. It's one of Brown's last stories and one of several First Contact stories. Brown does a wonderful job of setting up the reader for the ending.

50 • Birds of a Feather is a1958 novelette by Robert Silverberg

Robert Silverberg sold his first stories in 1953 and 1954. He still writes a column for Asimov's Science Fiction. The first story of his I remember reading is Nightwings in The Hugo Winners.

Birds are ruthless competitors. They are the surviving dinosaurs, and their survival instincts are hard-wired into their old reptile cortices. How fitting an analogy to describe the protagonist and antagonist in this story. Say you run a special sort of show. Non-humans line up to get in. You have to turn away most. But what if a con artist puts one over you and horns in under false pretenses? Now you've got an employee sharp enough to squeeze you out of a sweet deal. But he can't out-con a con, when you've got the goods on him.

This is a fun and imaginative read. The variety of xenophonts reminds me of Poul Anderson's stories.

82 • Clutch of Morpheus is a 1946 a short story by William Campbell Gault [as by Larry Sternig ]

Say you were born with a mutation. Not an obvious-to-the-eye mutation, but you don't sleep, haven't slept, can't sleep. Say you've been poked and prodded and examined by scientists and physicians and the public to the point of taking an assumed name to avoid further publicity. But you're curious-- what's it like? you wonder. What's it like to sleep? So you look up the leading anesthesiologist in the country and discuss it with him over dinner. Meanwhile, there's a comet in the sky, and Earth is situated in its tale, and will be for some time. Long story short, it has a soporific effect on everyone else. You get to figure out the solution to their problem, which happens to be the solution to your own, through an incredible string of co-incidences.

The story stretches the ability to suspend disbelief, which wasn't a problem when I first read the story, and which does not seem an insurmountable problem in most readers of science fiction. Mumblety-mumble years of reading this stuff means seldom being surprised by an ending, but I enjoyed it just the same.

105 • The Last Command is a Bolo 1967 short story by Keith Laumer Dave Drake tells in his preface to Hammer's Slammers that he was heavily influenced by Laumer's Bolo's. The professionalism and dedication to duty that Drake describes in his own unit, the Viet Nam era Blackhorse , is seen also in Laumer's , "Unit LNE of the Dinochrome Brigade!" a Mark XXVIII Bolo and his former commander, Lieutenant Sanders. Unit LNE of the Dinochrome Brigade."

Say you awaken buried and crippled, the blasting at a construction site 70 years after your burial has jarred you awake and triggered your Battle Mode Reflex. On escaping your tomb and finding yourself not only crippled but alone, you conclude that your unit has been annihilated by a counter attack. You do not realize 70 years have past and that the city ahead of you is a civilian city and not the enemy's stronghold. Your duty is clear. Whatever the cost, duty demands that you charge the ramparts and inflict as much harm on the enemy as you can before you succumb. Nothing now on planet can stop a BOLO Mark XXVIII. (The artillery and air strikes they lay on you just knock some of the debris off.) Your old commander, Lieutenant Sanders, is 90 years old and still has his old uniform. He sees your return on TV and knows that he will need to talk to you to stop this rampage. Communication from a distance proves not to be efficacious, and Sanders must climb aboard your hull to make contact. The problem with this is you are still incredibly radioactive from the hits taken during the late battle. (You don't know you and the others had been buried under 200 yards of rock because clean-up would have been too costly.) Sanders receives a far greater than lethal dose in making contact, but you recognize him despite time's ravages; you break-off and retire ten miles to the desert. Together you roll into the past of a world that no longer needs nor can appreciate your service.

136 • Fog is a 1951 a short story by William Campbell Gault

This is a somber tale that is hard to grip. Perhaps it would fit in today's idiom in which understanding of the goals and motives of the antagonist isn't important. It isn't important to understand how the protagonist got into this mess. The important thing is the courage and self abnegation of the protagonist. More subtly and appalling is the extremes to which the U.S. is willing to go to win. Russia lies a desolate, radioactive wasteland. So the means used to end the Veneran threat is a logical extension of a successful solution. I thought the story a little cheesy and the emotion rending (or not) ending reminded me of the ending of "A Question of Courage" by J. F. Bone.

Say you're an orphan. The only father you've known is the head of the Science Department, your boss, The Old Man. So The Old Man calls you to his office to send you to investigate a killer fog in San Francisco. Fog in San Francisco is not troubling. The dramatic increase in suicides associated with this fog is troubling, and it is accelerating. Unbeknownst to The Old Man is that you are secretly working for the Venereans, the inhabitants of the planet Venus. Of course, the Venereans are behind the fog. After allowing sufficient time for the significance of the escalating suicide rate to sink in, the Venereans issue an ultimatum-- surrender or else. Your job becomes to carry the response to Venus.

161 • The Martian Crown Jewels is a 1958 a short story by Poul Anderson Poul Anderson is best known for his Technic Civilization and Time Patrol stories.

Say you're a Martian private detective who admires Sherlock Holmes. Say the Crown Jewels have been loaned to Earth and stolen during the journey home. The diplomatic situation that would result from knowledge of the loss of the jewels becoming public would be unfortunate. Through application of some physics, clear thinking, and deduction, you solve the mystery and expose the culprits.

189 • Of Missing Persons is a short story by Jack Finney

Say you work at a mediocre little job and live a desperate little life. The meanness of your existence eats away at you a little more each and every day. Each and every day you yearn for something better. At last, the way out, the way home, the way to a better life is there for you to take. If you don't funk at the crucial moment.

Jack Finney's best known work is "The Invasion of the Body Snatchers". This poignant tale touches the reader because the protagonist's feelings of quiet desperation in this story written sixty years ago are the feelings many of us have today.

credit Image used under fair use for the review. Contact publisher for reuse.

My text creative commons 4.0

[junker-town]

THE TOP WHATEVER: Georgia will destroy you without even reaching the 2nd page in the playbook

Ranking only the college football teams that absolutely must be ranked at this time.

AS ALWAYS, WE BEGIN WITH UNDEFEATED TEAMS THAT ACTUALLY PLAYED FOOTBALL THIS WEEKEND.

1. Georgia.

The best way to show the size of the giant asskicking pile the Georgia Bulldogs amassed in a 42-7 win over Florida: start with one small point. Jake Fromm, Georgia’s redshirt freshman quarterback, threw seven passes, not in one quarter, not in a half, but for the entire length of one regulation football game against a conference opponent and hated rival.

Unless you are Navy or another triple option team, let me tell you what throwing seven times in a 42-7 win means. It means one team beat the other team’s ass so badly, they didn’t even have to get up off the couch to do it. It means Georgia saw Florida getting Georgia’s last beer out of the fridge, and without really waking up, winged the remote control all the way across the house and into Florida’s temple. The remote control came flying back like the hammer of Thor, of course.

Note: This is the only superpower I can see any Georgia fan really wanting that doesn’t involve golf.

This meant that without even looking at the rest of the box score or watching the game, the Bulldogs probably ran the ball at will. (They did, for 292 yards and 4 TDs.)

It meant that at no point did the Georgia defense allow the Gators’ offense to change the pace. (They did not. Florida’s putrid offense flailed so badly that it might have contributed significantly to firing Florida’s head coach.)

I don’t think it’s just because they play in the burnt-out shell of what used to be the SEC East and are the last unvandalized mansion on the block. Georgia is 8-0 because it’s ridiculously disciplined, well-coached, and unlike a thousand other teams in the country, build around its ingredients.

The Bulldogs have two outstanding running backs and a young QB. Guess what they do? They run the ball with those two backs, block well, and don’t ask Fromm to do too much yet. The Georgia defense? Y’all, just watch how they read and react, and see what simple, systematic teaching can do to free up defenders to make plays without getting too deep in their own heads.

They’re smart. That’s a word the entire state of Georgia has a problematic relationship with, but the truth is that this isn’t UGA’s full potential. This is an intelligent, managed team playing clean, brutal football.

P.S. I don’t even think this team is much more talented than a lot of the teams they face yet. The bulk of what Georgia could be is still in the mail, growing in the weight room in the form of incoming recruiting classes and underclassmen. Doubt this, and ask yourself why Florida tossed Jim McElwain on the curb, free to a good home, and why Tennessee is going to rehome Butch Jones any day now. This is good, but there is much more coming, and everyone in the SEC East knows it.

2. Iowa State Wario.

Iowa State has two losses, so by the standards of the Top Whatever, they can’t make the undefeated rankings. But you know who can? IOWA STATE WARIO.

Photo by David Purdy/Getty Images

THEY’RE A-GONNA WIN

So much came together here:

the extremely smart hiring of Matt Campbell from Toledo

an historic upset of TCU in Ames, the second time an undefeated team has tussled with the Clones and come away bloodied

the decision made by this fan to not only dress up as the finest Nintendo character ever for Halloween,

but the EXCELLENT decision to wear that costume to the game and then onto the field in celebration

and the photographer, David Purdy, realizing the greatness of this moment.

3. Miami.

Tighter win than expected in a 24-19 victory over UNC, but remember: Miami is the kind of team where every game sort of comes out to 24-19, no matter the opponent.

The things to be concerned about remain the things to feel good about. The Hurricanes can’t run the ball, so they have to rely on QB Malik Rosier for production. Rosier put up 350 yards and two TDs in a win, so it continues to be a strength.

The Miami defense gave up 27 first downs to North Carolina, continuing a streak of allowing opposing offenses to move the chains on the Canes. On the other hand, the Miami defense forced four turnovers and is riding a serious streak of turnover luck, soooo ...

Here we are, pointing out that Miami seems to be 2017’s Lucky But Also Good Team, and that’s fine. Miami’s 7-0 and winning where it counts: on the scoreboard and in the standings. The Canes are not just good enough to make opposing coaches mad, but make them mad at the otherwise completely inoffensive Mark Richt.

Hmmmm... Guessing Mark Richt and Larry Fedora won't be sharing the holidays together.. #UNC #Miami http://pic.twitter.com/98YEaKvOpM

— Dave Ross (@drosssports) October 28, 2017

P.S. I hope Richt told Larry Fedora to “stay blessed.” That would be 10 times more infuriating than any profanity he could have thrown back at him.

4. Wisconsin.

24-10 over poor, poor Illinois. Warning: The footage below may be too erotic for some readers.

BIG MAN TOUCHDOWN‼️ @MichaelDeiter! #OnWisconsin http://pic.twitter.com/3ceKTVdsv3

— Wisconsin Football (@BadgerFootball) October 28, 2017

You: Wisconsin’s schedule is weak, and they’re not overly impressive

Me: 8-0, and an offensive lineman reminded the world what real joy is. Also, no one has to worry about justifying a thing with Wisconsin. They win in the Big Ten Championship Game and they’re in; they lose, and they’re out, via some pretty comfortable justifications regarding that strength of schedule.

Also, why are you bringing up stuff they can’t control, and not appreciating the fine, fat-dude thuggery of this team’s excellence? All Wisconsin wants to do is drop that ass on other teams’ heads for four hours. Let them revel in their plodding greatness before tangling them up with the Ohio States of the world.

5. UCF.

Beat FCS Austin Peay, 73-33. It’s a cupcake game, but thankfully someone still believes in testing to see whether all the numbers work on the scoreboard. UCF is now the only undefeated non-power team after USF lost to Houston. If the Knights win out, they’ll be that team looking to blindside someone in a New Year’s Day bowl.

DID NOT PLAY THIS WEEK BUT IS PROBABLY THE REAL NUMBER ONE. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT I DO NOT RANK TEAMS THAT DID NOT PLAY, ALABAMA FANS WHO WILL EMAIL ANYWAY

Alabama. Probably the best team in the nation, but also definitely on a bye. Nick Saban definitely spent it horsewhipping his staff into watching 70 hours of footage of LSU’s jet sweeps.

ONE-LOSS TEAMS TO CONSIDER FOR PLAYOFF-TYPE THINGS

Notre Dame. Disassembled NC State, 35-14.

This is a safe space. Admit how fun it is to watch Notre Dame lean on teams until they collapse. Talk about how satisfying it can be to watch Josh Adams run the ball. Okay, don’t talk about that one too much, because Irish fans will flood your mentions about how you’re not respecting Adams enough, even though you’re talking about how good he is? (I don’t know, the Yankees are out of baseball’s postseason, and Duke basketball has started yet, and they’re bored or something.)

It’s not aerial circus pretty. But beauty takes a lot of forms, reader, and it’s important to appreciate them all.

Blocking is fun too .. http://pic.twitter.com/QOy9j4rRWa

— Chase Claypool (@ChaseClaypool) October 30, 2017

That’s mean and admirable, but the real story is the Irish defense. They held NC State to a piddling 50 yards on the ground and harassed talented Wolfpack QB Ryan Finley into irrelevance for much of the game.

For those just remembering that they are Notre Dame fans: Talk about the underrated defense, and hold off on buying that Warriors jersey for a few weeks, and you’ll continue to pass as a Real Human Sports Fan for a bit longer.

Oklahoma. Beat Texas Tech, 49-27. Hopes Iowa State beats everyone for the rest of the regular season, frankly, and doesn’t care who knows it.

Ohio State. Handed Penn State its first loss in a 39-38 thriller. J.T. Barrett went 13-for-13 in the fourth quarter for 170 yards and three TDs and was evidently the best passer in the history of college football for a while. I can’t say for sure that Barrett in that game wasn’t the greatest quarterback to ever play football, and neither can you.

Clemson. 24-10 over Georgia Tech. Hey, QB Kelly Bryant seems to be moving just fine, and that’s nothing but good news for the Tigers’ prospects as they get back into the ACC and Playoff race.

Oklahoma State. Winners, 50-39, over West Virginia, and with Bedlam coming up this week, have a lot in their control re: further ambitions.

Washington. Ran the ball a whopping 58 times against UCLA in a 44-23 win because ... because they could? Yes, because they could. See all comments about Georgia above for what that means about a team in a non-triple option context.

Virginia Tech. If they want to startle some people after a workmanlike, 24-3 win over Duke, beating an undefeated Miami and taking control of the ACC Coastal this coming week would be the way to do that.

TEAMS THAT LOST THEIR FIRST GAME THIS WEEK. PUT IT ON THE TRAILER, TAKE IT TO THE GARAGE, AND COME BACK NEXT WEEK

TCU. A 14-7 loss to Iowa State in Ames is a way more respectable way to fall off the wagon than it used to be, TCU. Take some consolation in that, and the rest of your schedule, which should keep you in contention for all kinds of things.

USF. Don’t watch how USF lost this game 28-24 to Houston. Just know that the Bulls gave up a fourth-and-24 pass for a first down on the final drive, then watched Houston QB D’Eriq King run 20 yards untouched for the winning TD. BAD. IT WAS VERY BAD FOR EVERYONE BUT HOUSTON TO WATCH. LIKE A CAR CRASH YOU SAW COMING BUT COULD NOT SCREAM TO WARN ANYONE ABOUT.

Penn State. Not their fault they lost 39-38; played best college football quarterback ever of the week.

[theleaderdotinfo-blog]

COSTA BLANCA STH BOWLS ROUNDUP 19 JUNE 17 has been published at http://www.theleader.info/2017/06/17/costa-blanca-sth-bowls-roundup-19-june-17/

New Post has been published on http://www.theleader.info/2017/06/17/costa-blanca-sth-bowls-roundup-19-june-17/

COSTA BLANCA STH BOWLS ROUNDUP 19 JUNE 17

El Rancho Bowls Club.

Our Wednesday VCL match was at Quesada, against the Tigers and all in all it was a close match, with both teams taking 3 rinks and the Tigers taking the overall shots by a small margin. A good away result for El Rancho. Ladies singles: Carolyn Harris 21-9. Gents singles: David Whitworth 6-21. Pairs: Jane Hamill and Stew Hamill 21-16. Triples: June Whitworth, John Skipper and Jim Gracie 21-9. Rinks: Pam Harris, Barry Bright, Brian Taylor and Shirley Edwards 12-16. Rinks: Bob Easthope, Brian Harris, Jan Bright and Richard Lee 8-23.

Friday found the Buckskins playing host to Horadada Hawks, yet another close match, both teams taking 3 rinks and the Hawks taking the overall shots by another small margin, a good effort though. Pam Harris, Malc Elmore and Brian Harris 16-10. Jan Bright, Brian Yates and Shirley Edwards 13-16. Barry Bright, Diane Yates and Richard Lee 23-11. Dave Haynes, Bob Easthope and Jim Gracie 18-14. Marion Haynes, Jane Hamill and Stew Hamill 12-29. Graham Day, Rob Clark and John Skipper 10-20. For membership details contact Brian Taylor on 965077093 or at briantaylor_es@yahoo.co.uk or Carolyn Harris on 966774316 or at elranchobowls.secretary@gmail.com

Emerald Isle Bowls Club

The Earls played at home on Wed against Country Bowls Herons and got beaten 10-4 aggregate of 106 -78. Winners were M Foulds G Inwood G Dyer B Foulds 23-13, J Jarvis E Morris B Eldred L Fisher 19-10

Friday saw the Victors play San Miguel Moors at home and they won 9-5, Aggregate of 107-88  the winners were B Kavanagh A Burns C Lindgren  24-5 M Whitelock  K Jolliffe M Stacey 24-9, C Thomas C Highland D Birkett 19-11,and a drawn trip of  S Johnson M Veale M  Odell  19-19

The Vulcans visited Quesada Lancasters and lost 10-4 aggregate 111-95 with the winners D Martin B Smith  P Creswell 18-12, J Redfern G Inwood B Allen 18-13

ELWYN MORRIS

Greenlands Bowls Club

Result of the games played in the Men’s 4 x wood pairs on Monday 12th June. Greenlands versus San Miguel, Home – shots for – 23 against 11.  Away shots for – 12.  Against – 18. Points for – 3 against – 2.

In The VCL match played away at Monte mar the weather proved to be a big a challenge as the games but after a very friendly game Greenlands came away with a very respectable score winning on three rinks and drawing on one. Final score was – 9 points to 5. In the Hurricane Division the Gladiators were away to La Marina Pilots. Final score was – Total shots for – 97.  Against – 111.  Points for – 4.  Points against – 10. There were two drawn rinks and one winning rink won by Jean Thompson, Jean Giddings and skip Dave Webb. 20 shots to 15.

Greenlands Bowls Club are looking to add to their current membership and would welcome new members and ensure they would have regular games in all leagues. We pride ourselves on having one of the friendliest and sociable clubs on the Costa, so why not find out for yourselves and give Haley a ring on 966844399.

La Siesta Bowls Report By Rod Edgerton

Last Saturday Jack and Barbara Cooper invited other La Siesta Members to join them in a Fun Competition to celebrate their Golden Wedding. A Large turnout in glorious weather saw all rinks being used whilst others turned up just to join in the celebrations. The competition consisted of three separate 6 end disciplines consisting of normal ends, fixed jack full length and fixed jack minimum length.

The winners Norman Adcroft, Irene Laverick and Dennis Andrew received their prizes from Jack and Barbara. Lollipops were handed out for every member that a bowl touching the jack. Needless to say the 50 lollipops on offer did not last long. On behalf of the club members our President Jean Cooper presented Jack and Barbara with cut glasses and a bottle of Bubbly.

In the VCL league La Siesta visited San Miguel Deputies and gained 6 points to their opponents 8. The overall shots going to San Miguel by 103 to 94.Winners for La Siesta were the Pair of Dawn Taylor and Mike Edwards by 18 shots to 16.Whilst the Rinks teams of Joy Gardiner, Pat Moore, Brian Gardiner and Jean Cooper won 18-12 and the rink of Tanya Oliver, Tony Campbell, Bill Jordan and John Ball won 20-13.

In the Spitfire Division the Wasps entertained Quesada and managed to win on 2 rinks picking up 4 points with Ramsey Sinclair, Pat Moore and John Ball winning by 22-20 whilst Dave Davies, George Richardson and Mike Edwards who were one shot behind after 16 ends managing to pick up 6 shots without reply on the final 2 ends to win 20-15.The overall match shots were 116 to 91 in favour of Quesada.

In the Harrier Division the Hornets got back to winning ways with a 8-6 victory away at San Luis Hercules. The overall match shots going to the Hornets by 113 to 103.

The winning rinks for the Hornets came from Hilary Clarke, Trish Reilly and Vic Mahomet by 27-13,Tanya Oliver, Tony Campbell and Pat Reilly by 22-11 and Ron Sheldon, Sue Mahomet and Rab Logan 20-14.

Monte Mar Bowls and Social Club

Sponsored by The Belfry, The Pub, Bowling Abroad and Avalon

VCL LEAGUE

WEDNESDAY JUNE 14TH . MONTE MAR LORDS V GREENLANDS

Another hard fought match against Greenlands, winning on two rinks and drawing on one. Well done to Alan Ashberry (singles) Wendy Sheridan, June Young, Joe Ridley and skip Dianne Ridley and the drawing rink Ronnie Cairns, Mike Farrelly and skip Dave Melville.

Shots Monte Mar 96 – 110 Greenlands. Points Monte Mar 5 – 9 Greenlands.

MONTE MAR TORROS V VISTABELLA  GREENERS

FRIDAY JUNE 16th – A remarkable result as we were winning on four rinks with three ends to go. At the end of the match the one winning rink was Denise Ashberry, June Young and skip Alan Ashberry well done. Shots Monte Mar 107 – 111  Vistabella. Points Monte Mar 2 – 12 Vistabella.

For further information about Monte Mar Bowls and Social Club check out our website  www.montemarbowls.com or email us at info@montemarbowls.com. We are also on Facebook.

SAN LUIS BOWLS CLUB REPORT 16.06.17.

Wednesday 14th June VCLeague Falcons were home v VB Saxons; taking some useful points 8-6, shots 104-93. Winners: pairs; June & Keith Jones 19-10, triples; Margaret Morrison, Sabrina & Russell Marks 27-14, rinks; Bill Webb, Barry Edwards, Suzi Cooper, Roy Cordell 14-9.

Friday 16th June, Spitfire Division: SL Wellingtons were away v SM Christians, and had a good result: shots 122-100, points 9-5. Winners: Margaret & Neil Morrison, Derrick Cooper 25-12, Bob White, Vic Slater, Keith Lowry 21-13, Colin Jackson, Bill Webb, Mal Hughes 32-12, Ann Holland, Pam Lockett, Roy Cordell 17-17.

Friday 16th Harrier Division: SL Hercules home v La Siesta Hornets, had a tough game for 6 points – 8, shots 103-113. Winners: Tom Fromson, Ian Ross, Robin Harker 36-11, Helen Hammond, Chris

Brooks, Scott Malden 18-14, Mary Fromson, Harry Epsom, Sue Ross 21-19.

As there has been so much speculation and discussion about SAN LUIS BOWLS GREEN hopefully this will explain the current situation:

“When Vic announced that we were to have the base done, a new underlay and a new carpet, as discussed and quoted for by the Greengauge representative, we all had high expectations of a great playing surface to be the “flagship” for them, of what they could provide.

Unfortunately, this has not been the case as the base has shown to be “not suitable for purpose”. The Company, commissioned by the Greengauge representative, after much discussion via Julian Pering agreed to try and rectify the matter f.o.c.

In order to do so the carpet and underlay had to be unstitched and lifted and then when the base was done relaid, and restitched – AT A COST – through no fault of Vic’s. Greengauge were not prepared to give in anyway at all saying the base was not within their remit, although their representative had been involved with “providing” the company.

Vic has decided NOT to have any more work done on the green FOR THE TIME BEING. We have a good carpet and underlay but unfortunately the expectations of a great playing surface has not been met. BUT it is still perfectly playable and no worse than certain rinks at other clubs.

So, let’s just get on with bowling and enjoying our matches and each other’s company and show what a great club we are.”

For more information: www.sanluisbowls.byethost7.com or contact June Jones, Club Captain: 691903773.

Sheila Cammack

San Miguel Bowls Club

San Miguel Deputies played La Siesta     in the VCL winning 8 points to 6.  Ladies singles, Anita Brown won 21-11; Mens singles, Carl Eagle won 21-15;  Pairs, Pat McEwan, Gary Raby lost 16-18;  Trips, Bob Nesbitt, Dave Champion, Dave McEwan won 20-12;  Rinks, Sue Milner, Paul Hayward, Ann Eagle, John Raby lost 12-18;  Rinks, Ken Hope, Stan North, Eddie Cowan, Alan Campbell lost 13-20.   Shots for 103 – against 94.

In the Spitfire league, San Miguel Moors were away to Emerald Isle Victors, coming away with 5 points to 9.  Winning teams were Bob Hanton, Sheila

Booth, Bob Donnelly 19-18; Stan North, Barbara Scotthern, Eddie Cowan, 25-3;  David Champion, Frank Scotthern, Jack Jackson drew 19 across.  Total shots were 88 for San Miguel and 107 to Emerald Isle.

No other results received

Club mornings are still on, though numbers are dwindling due to the heat, 0945 for 1015.  The WASPS will carry on, Wednesday afternoons, 1.30pm until 12th July, and will resume on 13th September.

For further information on San Miguel Bowls Club, please contact the President, Rosamond Stockell, telephone 965329778 or Secretary, Pat McEwan, telephone 966714257.

La Marina Report by Barry Latham

Last week we beat the VCL League Leaders and this week we upset the number two by beating San Miguel at our place 10-4.  The togetherness continued for the Parsons, both Janet and Peter played the Singles and won 21-17 each.  Isn’t it lovely? Captain Colin Armitage, Martin Butler and Lynne Armitage had a tight game but came out the winners 14-12. Last (Well, off the green.) but not least the rink of Barry Latham, Wendy Latham, Mike Smith and Barbara Forshaw had a good win by 18 to 13.  The overall shot difference was very close, we got it by one.  We might still be last in the league but we are at the moment upsetting the leaders.  May it continue!!!!    When I arrived to watch the Pilots I was told as we walked to the ground we were down on very rink bar one.  Obviously it must have been our cheering and ribald comments that spurred the Pilots to eventually chop down the Greenland Gladiators.  Good to see a lot of our friends from our old club but even better to beat them 10-4.  Close all the way though but gradually La Marina took over.  Mike Smith, Peter Bailey and Jean Tregoing plus Terry and Jean Perchard and Reg Jackson both pulled off creditable draws.  Dave Taylor, Tom Spencer and Mo Taylor had a good win by four shots.  And the Hadaways are back ……. to form both winning.  Dave, Arthur Cronk and Dave O’Sullivan won 20-15 and Shirley, Steve Hindle and Carol Smith won 25-15.  Two cracking results this week so well done Captains and Selectors who get a lot of stick at times.

Don’t forget if you want to join our happy little Club you can phone our Captain Steve Hindle on 966184360.  Don’t worry if you have never played before we can lend you all the kit you need plus some coaching. 

Vistabella Bowls Report With Lynne Bishop

Not only is it very warm on the green but the competition is hotting up as we go into the final few games of the summer season.

This week the VCL Vikings were at home playing top of the league Quesada Lions, our away leg resulted in a 6-8 win for the Lions but despite a somewhat depleted team we managed to square things up which leaves us just one shot behind them on the league table. Men’s Singles Martin Foulcer won 21-16. Ladies Singles Lynne Bishop won 21-19 and the Triples team of Jenny Chaplin, Bert Ewart & Dave Chaplin won 22-14. The shots couldn’t have been any closer VB 104 (8)- 103(6) Q.

The Saxons were away to the San Luis Falcons, another hard game but well done to Ian Kenyon for yet another great win of 21-14 in the Men’s Singles and also to Lin Watkins winning 21-16 in the Ladies Singles. The Rinks team of Mike Irwin, Tony French, Geoff Paylor & Dave Jenkins won 18-4 you guys are brilliant! Shots, VB 93 (6) – 104 (8) SL.

SAL League. The Spitfire league Fairways had a bye.

The Hurricane league Greeners travelled to Monte Mar to play the Torro’s picking up an impressive twelve points. Winning teams were Jenny Chaplin, Ken Savage & Peter Whitehall 21-7. Frank Barclay, Peter Cadwell & Barry Norris 23-15. Mike Irwin, Sue Norris & Pat Rafferty 15-10. Del Gunning, Dave Chaplin & Dave Jenkins 23-20. Rosemarie Savage, Brian Pointon, Bill Corbishly 22-21. Shots VB 111 (12) – 107 (2) MM. We have our sights set on promotion…good luck in your last game next week.

Sponsored by Venture fleet, Rivingtons Restaurant, One-way services & TV Choice.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 14th July 2019 (Post Malone, Young Thug, Lizzo, Dave)

Top 10

This week, we actually have a new number-one, but I find it hard to be invested in “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello hitting the top after moving up one spot from last week, especially because their limelight will be taken back by Ed Sheeran next week with the No. 6 Collaborations Project, although again, Sheeran has ran himself into a corner if he wants an album bomb (None of his singles released between “BLOW” and “Antisocial” could have possibly charted in the UK). This is Mendes’ second UK #1, his first since “Stitches” in 2015, and Cabello’s second as well, her first since “Havana”. It shouldn’t matter, it’ll be Ed’s next week.

After eight weeks at #1 since its debut, “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber, a pretty pathetic song in my opinion but far from the worst on the project, is now down one spot to number-two. Once again, it’ll rebound, and if it doesn’t, there’ll be a Sheeran debut to replace both this and “Senorita” pretty quickly.

Oh, yeah, speaking of an Ed, “Beautiful People” featuring Khalid has surprisingly kept steady from its debut last week at number-three.

“Hold Me While You Wait” by Lewis Capaldi is up a single spot to number-four... why?

We also have our first and only top 10 debut, “Goodbyes” by Post Malone at number-five, featuring a verse from... Young Thug. I couldn’t tell you if this is Young Thug’s anything since his Wikipedia discography page is incredibly uncooperative, but this is Post Malone’s tenth UK Top 40 hit and seventh UK Top 10. We’ll talk more about it later, and I have some things to say about it to say the least.

“Crown” by Stormzy takes a two-space hit down to number-six.

Somehow, whilst now assisted by a (Pretty bad) remix with Young Thug and Mason Ramsey, the kid who yodelled in Walmart a couple years back, and a new animated music video about Area 51, “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas  X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus, etc. is still at number-seven for like the fourth week in a row. We’ll see if this is in freefall or not next week.

Oh, and “Cross Me” by Ed Sheeran featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock is down two spaces to number-eight. Whether this means it’ll rebound or be completely replaced by another Sheeran track like “Antisocial” or probably “Take Me Back to London”, again, we’ll find out next week.

“Wish You Well” by Sigala and Becky Hill isn’t moving at number-nine.

Finally, Mabel’s “Mad Love” has dipped down two spaces to #10 but I don’t think this is the end of this song, this can be a genuine summer smash; it fits all the requirements.

Climbers

We have a couple of climbers within the UK Top 40 but not many and none of these are even all that good. I mean, I’m not complaining about “Higher Love” by Kygo and Whitney Houston jumping up ten spaces to #26. Oh, yeah, and by not many I meant none at all, this is the only climber above five spaces in the entire UK Top 40.

Fallers

We have a lot more of these, though; in fact we have plenty here to talk about. “Kilos” by Bugzy Malone featuring Aitch is once again down ten spaces, this time to #40, so sadly Bugzy doesn’t get that summer hit he was expected to reach in terms of longevity but I’m sure a top 20 hit will look good down the line, and we should be thankful it didn’t drop out from the debut entirely, because honestly I expected it to. Elsewhere at #33, “Summer Days” by Martin Garrix, Macklemore and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy (Yes, that’s how it’s been credited since release) is down seven spaces, nearing “Piece of Your Heart” by MEDUZA and Goodboys at #32, down eight spots from last week. Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is slowly making its way out now, down five to #23, with Drake’s “Money in the Grave” featuring Rick Ross doing the same, but prematurely at #22. Otherwise, yeah, there’s not much to speak of here, so let’s move on.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

There’s one drop out here that’s gone from the top 75 here and it’s unfortunate but seems to be because of streaming cuts, and it’s “Guten Tag” by Hardy Caprio and DigDat, out from #35 after nine weeks, but it had its run and never really exploded as much as it could have, but again, top 20 hit for a week, nobody’s complaining, The biggest fall otherwise is “If I Can’t Have You” by Shawn Mendes which probably also had that streaming cut in its tenth week, falling out from #19. Elsewhere, “Don’t Check on Me” by Chris Brown featuring Justin Bieber and Ink is out from the debut at #29, “Easier” by 5 Seconds of Summer is finally out from #37 and the deplorable “Heaven” by the late Avicii featuring Chris Martin is out from #39. Oh, and “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man is out from #40 AGAIN. It’ll be back next week or in a couple of weeks, but its chart run has been pretty interesting to follow recently. There aren’t any returning entries, so let’s get straight to the new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#37 – “Truth Hurts” – Lizzo

Produced by Ricky Reed and Tele – Peaked at #5 in New Zealand and #6 in the US

Our first two new arrivals are songs that are at least two years old and are just now charting for various reasons, and I’m just glad the UK Top 40 has no recurrent rule because there are some chart moments that could never happen in the US without Billboard getting a bit stingy and inconsistent about what’s allowed and what’s not. This song in particular was dropped in 2017 with a music video and didn’t exactly make waves, mostly because Lizzo wasn’t as known but she does well critically (And did at the time too with her two studio albums she abandoned once she blew up and the image changed), and it was never planned to be on an album. When the song was featured in a Netflix film, Something Great, it clicked with audiences, who would later use it as a TikTok meme because of course they did, and then it replaced “Juice” as the promoted single. Viral sleeper hits from years ago in your career breaking out in the midst of an album cycle is naturally pretty awkward. Anyways, this eventually debuted at #50 on the Hot 100 and became an unexpected massive worldwide smash for the rapper-singer, becoming a US Top 10 hit and now entering here in the UK charts, becoming her second UK Top 40 single after “Juice”. And now for the song itself, I’ll try and keep it brief because I don’t have much to say about it. My stance for now is that it’s pretty good, I like the gliding strings and synths that build up to a pretty fun drop, especially with Lizzo’s vocals and lyrics, which are about boy problems but in a way that’s very sassy and seems oddly personal, directed to someone from Detroit, who she replaced with someone on the Minnesota Vikings team. Some of these punchlines are pretty witty and especially well-delivered with her messy, off-key singing and constantly shifting flow, often with janky overlap between bars. The chorus is really catchy, like it’s not “Baby Shark” level infectious but it’s up there, especially with the little backing vocals accentuating the lyrics. I like the voice cracks in the second verse, and it demonstrates a point where I have an issue with the song, but that may be the point. For a song that seems so confident and full of braggadocio, everything around it wants you to think it’s a lot less stable, with synths that kind of just glide in, the off-key singing, and the badly-mixed trap percussion that’s especially noticeable when watching the video. That could be really clever as it shows the lyrics are mostly a front to cover how pained Lizzo is after this break-up, or maybe I’m completely over-thinking a trap-rap song about being “100% that b****”. Probably that one.

#36 – “Thiago Silva” – Dave and AJ Tracey

Produced by 169

Now, this is a less gradual rise to popularity. It was released all the way back in May 2016 by the two UK rappers who have later blown up and made separate names for themselves. It didn’t get much notice in the mainstream because of course it didn’t, it was 2016. British hip hop was only starting to get more chart presence, and the general public isn’t going to gravitate to two newcomers without an album out at the time, more likely a legacy artist who makes safer variations of grime and trap. Nevertheless, Dave and AJ Tracey are now pretty massive, so their collaborative single from three years ago was later certified Silver (No pun intended) in December of last year, and eventually charted because of a viral performance from Glastonbury 2019, where in the June festival, because AJ Tracey couldn’t make it, Dave called up a fan called Alex who knew all of the lyrics to recite them with Dave. He killed it, did an incredibly awkward interview on Good Morning Britain afterwards, and here we are, with Dave’s twelfth UK Top 40 hit and AJ Tracey’s sixth. I have no idea who Thiago Silva is or what his prominence is, but I know he’s a Brazillian footballer and that the song isn’t actually about Thiago Silva, it’s actually surprisingly generic coming from Dave, but you shouldn’t expect much substance from a grime track made for clubs, and he still has his typical puns that are almost so awful that they tread the line between being so bad it’s good and just circling back around to being awful again.

True say, I ain’t really a drinker / But I got love for brandy like Ray J

The beat is a re-work of influential grime group Ruff Sqwad’s song “Pied Piper”, and I always like when artists of a similar genre call upon some of the works that inspired them for samples... the instrumental takes that low-fidelity sample, add some bumping 808s and trading verses from Dave and AJ. AJ Tracey kills it, and you can tell he was perfectly prepared for “Ladbroke Grove” years later, because he knows how to flow on a grime beat, and actually sounds quite professional. You can’t really blame Dave since he’s very young at the time this was recorded and released, but his verses all suck here, his performance overall is often somewhat off-beat, and sounds really janky anyway, mostly because of how it’s mixed (Badly, if you couldn’t figure that out) and how Dave isn’t recognisable, he sounds like AJ a lot of the time and switches through a lot of different simple flows and cadences without ever keeping his character. The lyrical content is nothing to speak of either. I wish I liked this a lot more, to be honest, but it’s not bad at all.

#34 – “Castles” – Freya Ridings

Produced by Dan Nigro, Mark Crew, Dan Priddy and Yves Rothman – Peaked at #3 in Scotland

Remember Freya Ridings? I sure don’t, she’s boring and unrecognisable from a set of “genuine, down-to-earth” singers, and not just female singers; she’s very much from the same strand of bore as Lewis Capaldi. Her last two singles, including UK Top 10 hit “Lost Without You”, were pretty, I guess, and that’s the main reason I tend to give her a pass over Capaldi – her singles actually sound decently produced and competent, despite overly breathy singing and mostly consisting of a few piano notes and string loops. Her writing isn’t recognisable at all as I said and she doesn’t have a signature style, but she doesn’t need to be. Just deliver it well, and that’s all that should matter, but she’s not convincing. She’s also not everywhere like Capaldi, so I guess that explains my preference. Anyway, this is her second UK Top 40 hit and I don’t care. It’s cut from the same cloth as a lot of indie-rock, which I’m surprised by, but it lacks any weight and gut, it feels like it doesn’t have much grandiosity in its production as a build-up until that chorus comes in, and to be fair to her and her writers, it’s a pretty incredible chorus. I feel like Ridings’ vocals aren’t mixed all too well, they’re a bit quiet until they become multi-tracked in the pre-chorus. That’s enough complaining though, because honestly this is a pretty good song. The use of Ridings’ vocal runs as a synth that goes from the left to right channel in the post-chorus is inspired, the addition of the children’s choir is nonsensical but as a kiss-off that is not grounded at all, hell, I’d be surprised if Freya Ridings literally didn’t build a castle out of this guy’s love, or whatever she’s saying, she has a bit of indie girl enunciation syndrome. Overall, it takes a while to get going and there a couple of nitpicks but this is pretty above average at least and it might grow on me.

#20 – “Home P***y” – D-Block Europe

Produced by Pro Beats

These guys suck. Young Adz and Dirtbike LB, because, yes, those are their names, are pretty painfully bad singers covered in cheap auto-tune with bland trap or Afroswing beats leased off of YouTube, and have a name as a collective that they’ll probably have to legally change after Article 50 kicks in. I don’t hate these people directly, obviously, but their music bothers me mostly because British hip hop is peaking right now in critical acclaim and popularity, and there’s a bunch of these no-names like B Young and Aitch taking advantage of that. Aitch has charisma and unwarranted enthusiasm, B Young is an awful songwriter and is unintentionally pretty hilarious because of that... so what do these dudes have? Anyway, this is their third UK Top 40 hit (Second UK Top 20) and I feel like I should explain the name first, and that’s because this song is about getting all types of girls as you’re on the road touring, but the sex from your girlfriend, or alternatively, from people in your hometown, keeps you “safe”. That’s kind of creepy and also kind of... sweet(?), but who cares? This is trash appealing to the lowest common denominator with barely any thought put into it that’ll be out of the charts in four weeks and that’s being generous. What’s funny enough here to mock then? Well, they start the song with “This ain’t no love song, this is a thug song”, in a childish inflection with a lot of reverb as if it’s some kind of dramatic profound quote, before he makes an incoherent noise and the producer tag shows up, and it’s one of those tags you can get for cheap, I imagine, it’s that robotic female voice you hear on a lot of no-name producer tags. The way Young Adz says anything is in a very childish manner, so it’s always really odd when he says he’s got hitters, or just the words “home p***y” in general. It fits when he’s shouting “skrrt skrrt” ad-libs over the whole track, because his multi-tracked vocals clip and there are no dynamics here at all. Dirtbike LB gives up his rhyme scheme with an Auto-Tuned moan two bars into his verse. Here are some stupid lyrics.

This the last time but not the last time like befooooooooooore

Is that a sentence?

Talkin’ on the net, you’ve got a voice now?

Why are you angry? It’s a sex song about people you trust, why would you go off on women you don’t trust? This is a pretty toxic attitude to have too, that people can’t speak up about relationships after they’ve ended because they stayed quiet and subservient throughout, and that’s not just women, that can be anyone in a relationship.

I hate your friends, I think they’re fake, I hope they all down

Oh, Jesus, okay, well, on that note, I’ve got to stop talking smack about Young Adz.

#11 – “So High” – MIST and Fredo

Produced by Preditah

Okay, this is another trading-bars cut from two British rappers that are very similar musically and in terms of media personality, image, popularity/status and everything else. Essentially, this is our third twin-rap cut that debuted in the Top 40 today, and it’s MIST’s second UK Top 40, first Top 20 and highest-peaking song ever, as well as Fredo’s sixth UK Top 40 and third Top 20. I’m not expecting this to be anything good but I am expecting it to be much more professional in comparison to our last song, and I’m really not surprised that I have next to nothing to say about this song, like at all. It’s not bad, and I love how Fredo flips Fred Gibson’s “Fred again” producer tag in his voice, with the vocal sample acting as the refrain being actually pretty crisp, but MIST is kind of off-beat and the lyrical content is really uninteresting, it’s about treating a woman right but still being a boss or whatever, I don’t know, it feels very much like an early-mid 2000s rap/R&B fusion. I don’t care, though, because I can’t tell MIST and Fredo from each other and wow, this write-up is short.

#5 – “Goodbyes” – Post Malone featuring Young Thug

Produced by Brian Lee and Louis Bell – Peaked at #1 in Belgium and #3 in the US

This is the new surprise smash single from Post Malone, “Goodbyes”, and I said on Twitter the day this was released that it was exactly what I expected from Post as I follow his career path, becoming less of a trap-R&B crooner and much more of a massive pop star who incorporates a lot of hip-hop flows into his brand of depressing, alcohol-induced bouts of strained vocal performances, as well as trap percussion into his often kind of bubblegum pop hits. He hasn’t walked too far away from trap yet, so I think this is where he takes himself away from the SoundCloud rap scene he burst out from, as he uses somewhat of a rap flow in the verses but it is definitely infused with melodic inflections and some syllable-stuttering that reminds me of an awful emo-pop or pop punk song that Post probably would have been into.

Me and Kurt feel the same / Too much pleasure is pain

Yeah, emo-rap guys tend to cite Kurt Cobain although I see more resemblance in Sum 41 than I do Nirvana or any grunge band for that matter. “Need to take off the e-e-edge,” “I’m addic—I’m addicted to you”, it’s one in the same. Anyway, after an unnecessary bout of silence, the song starts with some wavy, dreamy synths, before Post comes in with that “rap” flow that sounds great in that raspy voice he can put on, but that pre-chorus that slowly quiets down and drifts off at the end of each line is perfect as it shows a muddled mindset when a break-up happens, and that’s why some of the lyrics here are janky or even toxic, it’s the initial jerk reaction and all of the awful flaws that Post can think of are coming up at once because he’s confused and just wants this woman out as soon as possible so he doesn’t do something on impulse that can be dangerous, and he knows that he’s not in a place where he’s safe and he could hurt someone, he’s mentally unstable, and is almost scared for the girl he’s breaking up with, which is all heavily implied by the chorus, which by the way when that hi-hat kicks in and later the sub-bass with the contrasting synth melody, oh, man, that’s great. The drop is effective too, and I love how Post flip-flops tonally, from the silly e-e-edge refrains to precision f-strikes in such a way that is as messy as the relationship. God, and then Thugger comes in. Now, I thought he was jarring at first but after having this in rotation, oh my God, this verse is incredible. Thugger’s verse is more generic about these struggles and uses some... questionable language about slicing and dicing this woman, but those first two lines are perfect.

I want you out of my life / I want you back here tonight

It demonstrates greatly in an almost bipolar fashion how unstable this relationship and by extension, Post himself, is in this song, and pretty much sums the whole song up. Then Thugger starts belting about not wanting her to turn the TV off because he’s watching a fight, because, he’s Young Thug. The way he just yells all this mundane problems he has with this woman is cathartic in a way I didn’t initially expect it to be, and it’s actually really powerful, especially that last “YEA YEA YEAH”. It’s a bit dodgy structure-wise, though, and the mixing is actually pretty awful, with the trap percussion sounding quite cheap, Post’s wailing sometimes being overproduced, the clipping on nearly every instrument here showing how rushed it was and it’s essentially unfinished mixing and mastering-wise, but God this is a perfect song otherwise. I love this, I hope it gets a remix but when everything’s peaking in the mix, honestly, it might just add to the power of the lyrics. I’ll be talking about this more in my best list, I’ll elaborate then.

Conclusion

It should be pretty obvious that Best of the Week is going to Post Malone and Young Thug for “Goodbyes”, with Honourable Mention being Freya Ridings’ this week for “Castles”. I know, I’m surprised too, but it’s slim pickings and while I think “Truth Hurts” is probably a better song, I want to shout out the lesser-known song. My goal here is to talk about British pop music critically because there’s not many people who do as regularly as I do, and honestly I’ll be biased to British artists due to this. Lizzo is still cool though. Worst of the Week goes to D-Block Europe for “Home P***y”, with Dishonourable Mention going to... okay, well, there’s none this week and the Honourable Mention is tied with Lizzo for “Truth Hurts”. I forgot most of this stuff was just kind of okay. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!

[lsradio]

BEST OF THIS WEEK'S BUNCH: 20th - 26th March 2017

  Pinata Carnival: Skinner’s Lane w/ Black Pulp & Native Kings @ Buyers Club 23.3.17 

It’s pouring with rain outside so what better way to escape the gloomy nights than to head down to Buyers Club on Thursday and escape to the tropical lineup of the Pinata Carnival! Word on the street is that there will be pinatas and the brilliant Liverpool based indie rock trio, Skinner’s Lane will be making their debut!

Skinner’s Lane take influence from the heaviness of Royal Blood with a splash of Black Keys personality, so their set is bound to be the talk of the night.

Alongside Skinner’s Lane on the bill for the night will be the recent talk of the town, Black Pulp. With their latest release, Cry Again having astounding success on Spotify, regular airtime on BBC Introducing and recently smashing their headline set at EBGBS last month, it would be a rookie mistake to miss these fellas as they’re certainly making their mark on the scene.

The lineup doesn’t end there as the third and final act, Native Kings are another local trio who call themselves a ‘3 piece stampede’…better watch your back because this alt act are gonna knock you down! Their latest release, Afraid to Love You is set to be on another level so be sure to get a teasing treat of the future smash and head down to Buyers Club on Thursday evening!

Tickets available online via Facebook Event Page & available OTD.

  Thundercat @ Invisible Wind Factory 24.3.17 

World-renowned funk specialist Thundercat will be performing at the Invisible Wind Factory, this Friday for a sell-out event – the perfect venue for the artist. The member of legendary thrash punks Suicidal Tendencies has collaborated with the likes of Kendrick Lamar and Pharrell, along with the release of his critically acclaimed album Drunk, it is safe to say this night is going to be a special one.

Photo Credit: Alchetron

The genre-bending artist has a unique sound, which has attracted artist all around the world to collaborate with him. Hits such as Them Changes and Drunk are certainly going to be crowd favourites. Thundercat is a master of the bass guitar, and I am certainly looking forward to seeing his skill in person during the performance!

Words: Kuda Mushangi

  Ditto Live w/ XamVolo & The Wicked Whispers @ Camp & Furnace 24.3.17

There’s so much new music out there in Liverpool, and luckily for us Ditto Music are hosting a night of top notch music, showcasing the best emerging artists from Merseyside. Hosted by BBC Introducing’s Dave Monks the line-up includes Xam Volo – an extremely talented musician who will be bringing his unique blend of Neo-Soul and Jazz to the night.

Photo Credit: Ditto Music

Also on the bill is alternative indie rock band Oya Paya, The Wicked Whispers with their classic rock sound and LUNGS, who are no doubt going to treat us all to a set packed full of their infectious tunes. Also making an appearance is Venus Demilo, a band who are quickly making waves in the Liverpool music scene.

But the music doesn’t stop there. Lilium, Seprona, The Sneaky Nixons, Little Triggers, The Mono LPs, Bribes, Danxia and Neil Noa complete the line-up for a night of fantastic music that is bound to keep you moving until the early hours of the morning.

Tickets available online via See Tickets 

Words: Laura Copestake

  The Magic Gang (Supporting Circa Waves) @ Liverpool Guild of Students 24.3.17

Brighton four piece The Magic Gang play Liverpool Guild of Students this Friday night as one of the support acts alongside INHEAVEN to Circa Waves. Describing their genre of music as “music for you mind, body, spirt and soul”, this show is set to be an energetic one.

Photo Credit: Emma Swann

Coming off the back of supporting Wolf Alice and Swim Deep in the past two years, the dynamic band have earned themselves recognition for being one of the most fun bands to watch live.  With their single How Can I Compete being MistaJam’s Hottest Record in the World back in February on Radio 1, this band have already got a great backing behind them and are having a cracking start to 2017. So if you’re after a great night of indie-pop music, let’s hope you’ve bagged your ticket for this sold out gig on Friday!

Words: Naomi Gillies

  Melodic Distractions w/ Roy Davis Jr. @ Camp & Furnace 24.3.17 

Honing from house’s spiritual home, Chicago, Roy Davis Jr is one of the legends we all dream about when we rest our dilated pupils. This is a one time offer, not only for Liverpool, but a statement largely true of the UK. With weeks of build up, Melodic Distraction have lay the foundations for what is set to be their biggest night of the year.

Photo Credit: Melodic Distraction

It seems strange that this is only their second birthday considering the absolute bits they’ve been doing across the city via Melodic Distraction radio, featuring local talent from Andrew Hill, Tom Lye, and the Melodic Distraction residents; Nick & Nath, as well as international monsters like Ross From Friends. Jaxon Lamond also joins the lineup, an Aussie kind enough to play us ‘poms’ his style of house from across the pond. (Two ponds? Water anyway.) Roy has been crate-digging for most of his life, so expect new gems, Chicago classics, and everything in between, but not dubstep; definitely not dubstep… or trance.

Final Release tickets available online via Skiddle

Words: George Griffin

  The Slow Readers Club @ Arts Club 25.3.17 

The Slow Readers Club are a first-rate rock band from Manchester. Fronted by vocalist Aaron Starkie, guitar and backing vocals from Kurtis Starkie, Jim Ryan on bass guitar and last but not least David Whitworth on drums. The band have supported the likes of Catfish and the Bottlemen and the Manchester Evening News stated that ‘’The Slow Readers Club are currently one of the most exciting sounds coming out of our fair city’’.

Photo Credit: Broken Amp

This isn’t the first time that The Slow Readers Club will have played in Liverpool, previously playing at the Echo Arena alongside a whole host of other musicians in December last year. Their upcoming tour is kicking off in this city, 3 out of the 7 shows are already sold out, so grab your tickets quick because this band are set to give you a fantastic night full of fresh indie rock, not one to be missed.

Words: Grace Dutch 

  Otherkin @ Arts Club 25.3.17

Otherkin are set to take the attic of the Arts Club by storm this Saturday in an event which you won’t want to miss out on. Being the last date of their Bad Advice tour after a mixture of headline shows and support slots for The Amazons, it’s unlikely this Dublin four piece will be taking any prisoners.

Photo Credit: Allevents

Currently creating ripples in the music scene, they have become known for their grungry Britpop sounding tunes and their ability for putting on one hell of a live performance. Having released music since 2015, they have already began to build up a back catalogue of songs including multiple singles and 2 EPs (Be sure to check out the latest single Bad Advice which is also the lead single off of their debut album). Supporting local Liverpudlian band, The Bohos alongside other acts Split and The Protagonists, the night is one you won’t be forgetting any time soon.

Tickets available online via Ticketweb

Words: Jess Fleming

  Lewis Watson @ Manchester Sound Control 26.3.17 

The dreamboat and all-time lovely human that is the one and only Lewis Watson has made his return to the music scene and is better than ever! After what feels like a lifetime since his debut album, The Morning was released I’m forever happy to say that Lewis is back with a brand new album and a full tour including a date at Manchester’s very own Sound Control this Sunday.

Photo Credit: Bodega

You can expect to hear a mixture of new music and old as Lewis Watson is amongst those who have been uploading music on Youtube since 2010. With support from London band Slowlights, Sunday is set to be a dreamy and magical night of musical loveliness- not to be missed! Midnight is released this Friday (24/03/17)

Tickets available online via See Tickets 

Words: Jess Fleming

  Featured Photo Credit: Katy Cummings 

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